#idk man!!! really upsetting!!!
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i really really miss silver actually
#it's probably got something to do withthe really unnecessarily gorey nightmare about him i had last night#like man. it was so fucking vivid and for what. i don't need the visuals that i got 😭#just the thought of him losing consciousness from blood loss at the bottom of an elevator shaft#because he was literally. missing half his body. what the fuck was THAT about#like i know the gore aspect is because i reread Infested last night before falling asleep but did it have to be SILVER#and. i dont even ship shad/amy why was it their kid who snapped and did this. what the fuck#idk man!!! really upsetting!!!#i had to grab him and cuddle him for like half an hour after waking up just to remind myself it wasnt real#rabbit.txt
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rook falling asleep on the red couch in the lighthouse dining room while lucanis is making dinner....... they were helping out by keeping him company and peeling and chopping potatoes for a while there but then the potatoes are done and the room is so safe and warm and smells like coffee and good food and lucanis is trying to explain something to spite and his voice is low and soft and good to listen to and rook's eyes only slip closed for a moment. they'll get up to save the world again or whatever in a second just. one moment. while the world is warm and kind. and then they're being shaken gently awake an hour later because it's time to eat and everyone's starting to drift hopefully dinner-wards
#lucanis looking down at peacefully sleeping rook like '...I *have* to figure out more things I can do for them than kill or die#because that's a bit limited long-term and one of those will probably mostly make them really upset. (also you only get to do it once.#just not good value for the price as gestures of love go.)#but maker I WILL also do that' as he drapes a blanket over them. and maybe strokes their hair. don't look at me#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#lucanis dellamorte#rook x lucanis#rookanis#oc: Ellaryen Ingellvar#do you guys ever yearn. are you filled with unspeakable longing. are you ever brought to your knees humbled and wrecked#before the altar of the mortifying simplicity and lack of grandeur of your own impossible desires. anyway#at one point rye is going to tell this man in a sort of bewilderment of joy and relief 'you make me feel so safe'#and he'll have to go 'you may be surprised to hear that that is not a sentiment a man in my profession gets to hear a lot usually'#'well get used to hearing it (bitch)(infinitely affectionate)'#and then they hug or something idk don't speak to me do not look at me
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Your highness… I don’t feel so good
#I was literally getting the same feeling I got watching Jimmy’s empires 2 when I was watching scars stream from 2 days ago…#and then doc said THAT. full body chills. thanks#hermitcraft#hermitcraft s10#docm77#docm77 skyblock#hermitcraft skyblock#idk how to tag that man#art escapades#jimmy solidarity#solidaritygaming#empires smp#empires s2#sheriff jimmy#tumble town#uhhhh idk what else to tag hopefully that covers it#idk… something about scar and Cleo and Joe all teasing him relentless despite the fact that he was obviously Actually upset#(‘I’m sure it’s actually fine but just. the vibes of someone who’s sick of getting messed with getting relentlessly messed with. yknow)#it makes me feel vaguely sick#again I’m sure they’re fine but idk man he sounded so mad#so naturally. whatever this is happened in my brain#I’m normal I just needed to get this out of my system <3#there’s some really interesting parallels happening here that I can’t quite put into worse#words*#so I put it into images instead… hopefully you’re getting my brain waves
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gift for @star-stages 🩵
(au: illusion tails)
#gift for friend :)#idk why sonic’s so upset his brothers right there smh#like come man at least give him a hug#tormenting that hedgehog#hsvshsjsv love this pink guy sm#sonic the hedgehog#miles tails prower#unbreakable bond#the brothers ever#not really#art
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I'm not getting into The Giving Tree discourse...
#personal#delete later#idk i just saw a post of the “alternate ending” comic on my dash and everyone praising it as an improvement and “fixing” the original#which i kinda resent#while tulli and i was taking my nephew to a book store we walked around the kids section and found the giving tree and we read through it#and i was so stricken by how profoundly sad it is. it's not a happy story#in the end both versions tell the exact same lesson. but one flat out tells you and the other makes you sit with a pit in your stomach#and work to find the answer#i dunno it's kids literature but kids literature is important. i don't wanna discredit anyone's bad memories with the book but also i think#sometimes it's ok to make kids a bit sad and upset with fiction.#tweet that goes “what if romeo and juliet didn't kill themselves and explained to the audience that family feuds are bad”#idk you can't seriously read the original book as an adult and say it's glorifying self-martyrdom#when the final drawing of the book is of an old tired man sitting on arotting stump with his hat fallen to the ground#again i don't wanna invalidate people's feelings if they enjoy the alt version i think it's really nice too. but the original has its#purpose too. imagine if at the end of the lorax they show that the boy did it and replanted the world happy ending#wait they did that in the movie shit#i dunno i just love somber children's literature. tulli and i are talking about moomin right now and how the series ends with the moomin#family just leaving. and nobody gets to say goodbye to them. their friends have to find ways to live with the emptiness they've left behin
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it is amazing what fathers will do and think is a good idea. "Hi I sold your car (that your godmother very kindly gave you) without warning you and am only telling you ahead of your mother arriving with the one I traded it for because she threatened to just not come if I didn't warn you ahead of time. Isn't she such a drag for ruining a good surprise?"
#Tldr my mom wants a new car and my jeep is a piece of shit(affectionate) so shes taking my jeep and leaving her current car with me#until she buys the new car.#My jeep is a 98 Grand Cherokee and everything is wrong with her but thats still my car man#My mom doesn't like that the jeep doesn't have airbags cruise control or a back up camera and needs new suspension#She only has a trade in value of like 300 bucks but my moms car. mini. is something she and i are very attached to#as opposed to the jeep which only i am attached to#Like i know its better and im getting a really good deal but im still really upset about this#idk maybe i just need to stop being ungrateful
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tghis is my son his name is Yugioh Reference and he is autism
[plz reblog]
#art#furry#my art#fursona art#sparkledog#sparklefur#scenecore#scene#furry art#scene furry#rainbow#rainbows#rainbowcore#uhhmmm hi yugioh fandom im afraid of you all bcuz of my intense fear of fandom anyywa!!!#yugioh#osiris yugioh#idk mAN i dont go into fandoms they really upset me!!!!!!!#whaevtver
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oopsie
so the stream was a flop (ill need to solve that problem in the future but that was very weird cuz these settings worked with batdr before and i doubt batdr was easier to stream performance wise) but yall didnt miss out on anything cuz uh
basically in 15 minutes i was done with the part of the. "game". that was. actually kind of looking like one. you know i didn't expect any polish to this, it was free and all. that was the part with gaskette, it was. fine. i did not find it interesting but at least it wasnt what the rest of the game was
but you know what, i get it. finally i get it
they, or maybe just mike, but its released under their company so i will say they,
they hate theorists
they hate dataminers
alright, point taken, i guess
just push away the fans who were the most interested in playing your games, cuz that's smart
it's sad really but oh well have it your way
#i dont know how many 'i cant get out of this hyperfixation no matter what' i have in me#believe me i tried to fixate on something else#idk#that game was just a really upsetting experience honestly and i think that was the point#i could form my thoughts more clearly and critically but why should i do that#ough#its so jover man#tbh#i dont think im gonna check out their next games if thats the attitude theyre showing#maybe i should have stopped engaging with them already but yknow i was hoping itd get better#and i still really do enjoy interacting with other bendy fans#but its just too much man#halfpost#bendy spoilers#whatever
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fuck my stupid baka life
this is just a random prompt for, hm, around chapter ~25 for them. The story mostly plans up to their death, but thats if i ever intend on finishing it. Bittersweet, you understand.
#digital art#digital artist#new artist#oc art#mafiafell#undertale au#mafiafell sans#selfship community#Donfell#female artists#small artist#artist#if you like my art please reblog! this tumblr is very lonely🤍#please reblog#well no pressure but ya#i rlly like this doodle it took 3 hrs tho idk why#just expression practice#basically for context#sans moves hee into her own apartment but shes away from her job and dependent on him now#so she gets lonely and upset being alone because her families in other territory and shes mostly alone yk#so she asks him for a child and he declines#maybe ill play with the idea of offspring but Maria doesnt really see it and Sans is quite fatalist too#sans fangirl#selfshipper#selfshipping comfort#cw: suggestive#cw: pregnancy#well suggested oregnancy yk#idk man im so tired and its ovulation week#let me live please
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So I personally don't play DBD (though I think it might be fun to try but I'd be bad at it so) but a streamer I watch plays it a lot and her survival rate against Wesker players is astounding. And funny to watch. So I draw lil doodles for her Wesker interactions to put off doing other art.
#since its a vtuber and dbd im really not sure how to tag this tbh#dead by daylight#albert wesker#????? is that gonna get wesker tag lookers mad at me cause idk man#is it gonna make dbd tag followers upset to see these doodles#idk man but there we go#i actually only drew the worm one today but i never posted the others here#i normally just post them in her server soooo#i finally asked if i had permission to post em to tumblr and she was like hell yeah so here we are#also the second one is from a time when someone had sabo'd a hook and he ran over to her and she just#looked up at the hook space and he also looked up and then just looked down at her again and dc'd#also ive never played any of the REs so im just going off the weird vibes dbd wesker has
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#not to be a broken lil man on main#but I was on the phone with my dad for 30 minutes just now (that's a lot for a phone call with him) and like.... damn. yeah. i do have one#parent who's not horrible huh#we talked a lot about my plans for the future...... which I only now told him bcs scary and bcs........ I never ever during my 25 years of#being alive got the impression from my parents that something like this would be an acceptable career choice or something they'd support#and I mean. my [redacted] of a mother is the best example for how. not alright it is with her that I'm doing something that's not very...#traditional for this family#but anyways. my dad was absolutely fucking lovely#to the point that I get getting teary eyed and felt my throat closing up cause. huh. i guess in his own way he does love me and believe in#he asked me to send him a link or a pdf of my first conference report because he wants to keep it somewhere 😭😭😭😭😭😭#I'm....... ouch. ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch#you know the ghosting I am really good at with tumblr chats (sorry guys. ilu. I just suck at communication)???? i'm also extremely good at#that with whatsapp chats and just. not calling my irl loved ones#so idk. hearing him say he understands and just wanted to make sure I wasn't upset with him and like. wanted to know if I was doing okay.#damn. okay. damn#idk#this was such a good talk and he was so suppertive and non-judgemental and I actually told him about my birthday and how my mother's call#upset me and he was like. yeah. same. and like... he's basically gone no contact with her as well as it turns out#idk. I really should give him more credit and like... I feel like there's so much shifting and change and development happening while I'm n#not there and sometimes it's hard to remember that he actually /could/ understand some things. just cause I've always been so used to not#sharing anything about myself because it wasn't safe when I was younger and... idk........ lots of emotions going on rn#so glad we talked though. so glad#simon.out.#if you read all this.... idk man.... sorry for oversharing but thanks for caring ig <3
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just read the new mutants issue where Charles chose to stay behind in space and my god the juxtaposition between Charles trusting Erik and Erik joining the hellfire club and wondering at his own trust worthiness. I wonder how much of Charles decision was him ultimately trying to avoid the fact that his first class had seemingly betrayed mutant kind and not be willing to face them and how much of it was Dani and Illyana's reaction to him having Karma mind control Illyana. the fact that Illyana was depending on him to ease her mind through limbo and in choosing to stay he forced karma to do it instead, probably fucking up their relationship in the process.
I love him, this is crazy, how much of this is him trying to runaway and how much is this him not trusting himself to fix things and how much is it just him trusting Erik?
i keep trying to put into words my exact thoughts about the sitch but there really is a lot for one issue aintit... oh charles you and your brain...
#snap chats#thats why we have tag rambles AHAHA#ok so to tackle things one at a time charles ultimately deciding to stay in space despite his expressed want to return to earth#obviously it was when lilandra pointed out if her sister took charge of the shi'ar then the universe- earth included- would be in peril#charles notes his position as a losing one: whichever choice he makes he loses#he goes to earth then the universe could be at stake/he stays in space he loses his kids#of course charles COULD just put his faith in the starjammers but is that a risk he wants to take ? evidently not#charles' reoccurring flaw is he's willing to sacrifice personal relationships for the greater perceived good#even lilandra acknowledges this- that charles' homesickness for earth was an inevitability just as she is indebted to protecting the stars#so now his ruptured relationship with illyana and co- esp right after comforting a split illyana last issue#we've seen charles act more coldly/rashly when he's about to lose people (i think of his first death with the og5 mostly)#i mean it's a key part to charles' chara that he doesn't favor mind controlling others and im sure he has the same regard for his students#he's aware of the damage it can do and in this instance- for one reason or another- he orders it to be done regardless#im sure he does this as a form of defense: if his kids are upset with him they won't feel too bad about losing him and it'll be less painfu#obviously we still see sam wish charles farewell and wish for him to come back soon but yk.. worthy attempt..#and it's not as if charles wants them to hate him ENTIRELY.. he's still touched by sam's goodbye no.... fickle man he is..#i dont think charles is totally afraid to confront the og5- its what made him want to return to earth with the nms initially#tho again.. could his decision to stay in the stars be influenced by that? that maybe he ISNT prepared to confront them like he thought?#who's to say... not me i dont got that psych degree yet..#erik being charles' trusted confidant definitely made his decision easier on top of that: i mean is he needed if he has a substitute#i think charles DOES wholly trust erik: charles really doesnt approach his x-men half heartedly. from his pov ofc#if he didn't genuinely believe in erik's potential he wouldn't have picked him; hes a comforting thought when charles decides to depart#'although i'm gone erik understands me and my goals enough to continue my work as good as i would have so i have nothing to worry about'#which. yk. makes the whole White King thing kinda awkward VJAELVJEAKL charles you fool#i have no idea how this saga ends though... tbh im only on ish 45 of NM i just read 50 and 51 to get context for this ask#so i can only wait and see how this saga turns out... once i finish reading house of m/secret invasion stuff jvLKEJKA#idk im tired and rambling dont pay attention to me.. ramblin bout charles' brain is a good day for me regardless if i make sense jVLAJ
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Made another spindle. It's very small. Also very irregular and lumpy due to the wood (I wanted the raised brown lines to stay and erred on the side of caution in how much I cut away...but that did lead to a very irregular spindle).
It also wanted to crumble as I carved, so pretty much all the fine tuning I just did by sanding it, which helps to compress the fibers down as well as remove material without crumbling or splintering.
It really came to life when I oiled it. Probably will be best after a few good coats and some time. My woodburning kit seems to be totally gone, which is a bummer. So I'm not woodburning anymore.
Spins well. Obviously being so tiny and light it was always going to be a fine spinning spindle, but effortless thread from an unprepped piece of fleece is pretty indicative as well. I seem to find myself carving mostly thread spindles at the moment. They're always so small and light in the hand, they remind me of holding baby birds.
#hurt a lot and its the only physical task ive managed today in any capacity#and it exhausted me and im falling over frequently#just from walking the 20 steps to my lawn chair outside the gate and whittling a small spindle#my sister was suggesting activities we could do but they all require holding things really#can barely even hold my phone to type rn#i also cant stop wondering if each spindle is the last i will ever be able to carve because they are so difficult#and take a pretty heavy toll on me. really upsetting to think about because i love whittling#and in an ideal world i would spend a significant amount of time in pursuit of making spindles#but i can't and each one is more difficult and painful#this one i was wondering at what point it becomes unsafe because i lose precision with the knife#when the pain is so bad im dissociating#which i was#switched to sanding instead then#idk man. could i have a shred of certainty about my body ? is that so much to ask for ?#things change and get worse so rapidly i never even have time to adjust to my new norm#there is no norm just rapid decline#i wouldnt have pushed thru the hell that was my teens and childhood if i knew this was what was next#oh well. here i am. whittling spindles thru the blinding pain anyway#what else can you fucking do#spindle making#whittling#supported spindle#vent in tags
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I saw this and lost it.
#i wish he lived#at least he died content (or thats what i think)#idk abt his death#did he die happy?#he died as somebody he really was?#he was legit made my afo tho#idk abt him i feel sad and very upset#ik that kid in him is like gone but i-#idk man :(#i miss him? I didn't even love him that much#just felt sad bc i loved tenko that lil guy in him#that loved his friends and dog#my hero academia#boku no hero academia#shigaraki tomura#tenko shimura
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“You know, if you break up with Sveta, meet a gorgeous girl and break Sveta’s heart again, I’m obligated to throw you into the center of the Atlantic Ocean.”
....What does this mean Vicky? He's not allowed to date anyone pretty ever again???
#wormblr#parahumans#ward lb#I'm just missing something right?#I get that she's trying to be a good friend after Weld put her in a shitty situation#but this feels insane#I'm sad they aren't working out#but it's also sort of a valid plotline to exlpore idk#glad this was spoiled for me so I wasn't blindsided and upset by it#I also only read more because I was waiting in line alone for a long time and this was the only thing I thought my phone could handle#I really should just give up on it#but man I want to see the terrible bits people are talking about#I just wish the bad (funny and ridiculous) parts weren't behind all the bad (really boring) parts or the bad (annoying) parts
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i overturn my uncles barbeque grill and turn the Fourth Of July into the Fourth Of Shit
theres a gray one becaesu i actually hate coloring things so much
#really upset i didnt sraw them Hollering. that is very them. but its okay. i wanted to draw this so so badly.#adventure itme#wizard city#distant lands#spader#blaine#wizard guards#digital#spaders invited to the wizard guard cookout because he is blaines best friend :] larrys inside. in the Magic AC.#COLORING IS SO HARD?????? ummm oh fuck they have shoes. idunno. (slides around on the color wheel) idk. pink. (fill color) okay next.#like what the fuck. how else do you do it.#i know how complementary colors work. but like. on a full scale image??? theres so many tiny little ass things.#and they all have to be different colors and shades so they track to the eye as different thigns.#-> guy who drew SPADER in a WHITE t-shirt voice 'they all have to be different shades'#but i did get a good brush that makes pretty clouds :]#ANYWAYS. i did an overlay layer and i feel better now.#little spader is bringing me such joy look at him. tiny man invited to the barbecue to watch shit go down.
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