#idk man!!! really upsetting!!!
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
i really really miss silver actually
#it's probably got something to do withthe really unnecessarily gorey nightmare about him i had last night#like man. it was so fucking vivid and for what. i don't need the visuals that i got 😭#just the thought of him losing consciousness from blood loss at the bottom of an elevator shaft#because he was literally. missing half his body. what the fuck was THAT about#like i know the gore aspect is because i reread Infested last night before falling asleep but did it have to be SILVER#and. i dont even ship shad/amy why was it their kid who snapped and did this. what the fuck#idk man!!! really upsetting!!!#i had to grab him and cuddle him for like half an hour after waking up just to remind myself it wasnt real#rabbit.txt
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
Your highness… I don’t feel so good
#I was literally getting the same feeling I got watching Jimmy’s empires 2 when I was watching scars stream from 2 days ago…#and then doc said THAT. full body chills. thanks#hermitcraft#hermitcraft s10#docm77#docm77 skyblock#hermitcraft skyblock#idk how to tag that man#art escapades#jimmy solidarity#solidaritygaming#empires smp#empires s2#sheriff jimmy#tumble town#uhhhh idk what else to tag hopefully that covers it#idk… something about scar and Cleo and Joe all teasing him relentless despite the fact that he was obviously Actually upset#(‘I’m sure it’s actually fine but just. the vibes of someone who’s sick of getting messed with getting relentlessly messed with. yknow)#it makes me feel vaguely sick#again I’m sure they’re fine but idk man he sounded so mad#so naturally. whatever this is happened in my brain#I’m normal I just needed to get this out of my system <3#there’s some really interesting parallels happening here that I can’t quite put into worse#words*#so I put it into images instead… hopefully you’re getting my brain waves
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
rook falling asleep on the red couch in the lighthouse dining room while lucanis is making dinner....... they were helping out by keeping him company and peeling and chopping potatoes for a while there but then the potatoes are done and the room is so safe and warm and smells like coffee and good food and lucanis is trying to explain something to spite and his voice is low and soft and good to listen to and rook's eyes only slip closed for a moment. they'll get up to save the world again or whatever in a second just. one moment. while the world is warm and kind. and then they're being shaken gently awake an hour later because it's time to eat and everyone's starting to drift hopefully dinner-wards
#lucanis looking down at peacefully sleeping rook like '...I *have* to figure out more things I can do for them than kill or die#because that's a bit limited long-term and one of those will probably mostly make them really upset. (also you only get to do it once.#just not good value for the price as gestures of love go.)#but maker I WILL also do that' as he drapes a blanket over them. and maybe strokes their hair. don't look at me#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#lucanis dellamorte#rook x lucanis#rookanis#oc: Ellaryen Ingellvar#do you guys ever yearn. are you filled with unspeakable longing. are you ever brought to your knees humbled and wrecked#before the altar of the mortifying simplicity and lack of grandeur of your own impossible desires. anyway#at one point rye is going to tell this man in a sort of bewilderment of joy and relief 'you make me feel so safe'#and he'll have to go 'you may be surprised to hear that that is not a sentiment a man in my profession gets to hear a lot usually'#'well get used to hearing it (bitch)(infinitely affectionate)'#and then they hug or something idk don't speak to me do not look at me
351 notes
·
View notes
Text
I'm not getting into The Giving Tree discourse...
#personal#delete later#idk i just saw a post of the “alternate ending” comic on my dash and everyone praising it as an improvement and “fixing” the original#which i kinda resent#while tulli and i was taking my nephew to a book store we walked around the kids section and found the giving tree and we read through it#and i was so stricken by how profoundly sad it is. it's not a happy story#in the end both versions tell the exact same lesson. but one flat out tells you and the other makes you sit with a pit in your stomach#and work to find the answer#i dunno it's kids literature but kids literature is important. i don't wanna discredit anyone's bad memories with the book but also i think#sometimes it's ok to make kids a bit sad and upset with fiction.#tweet that goes “what if romeo and juliet didn't kill themselves and explained to the audience that family feuds are bad”#idk you can't seriously read the original book as an adult and say it's glorifying self-martyrdom#when the final drawing of the book is of an old tired man sitting on arotting stump with his hat fallen to the ground#again i don't wanna invalidate people's feelings if they enjoy the alt version i think it's really nice too. but the original has its#purpose too. imagine if at the end of the lorax they show that the boy did it and replanted the world happy ending#wait they did that in the movie shit#i dunno i just love somber children's literature. tulli and i are talking about moomin right now and how the series ends with the moomin#family just leaving. and nobody gets to say goodbye to them. their friends have to find ways to live with the emptiness they've left behin
255 notes
·
View notes
Text
am I the only person waiting until I actually have my hard copies in hand before reading the short stories? I've been avoiding social media all day because I'm scared of getting spoiled...
#i just want the excitement of having the books in hand before I read them!! is that so much to ask!!#I refuse to even log on to twitter rn because I know for a fact there are untagged spoilers flying around like crazy on there#idk maybe im weird for this but i just really want the pleasure of reading the physical copies first. to go in completely fresh#so i can enjoy them more fully#i caught a tiny glimpse of a spoiler yesterday (I scrolled before I could see too much) but I was so upset about it regardless#like!! idk man maybe this makes me old as fuck but i miss the days where you didn't have to worry about spoilers so much!!#i've felt so paranoid about it all weekend lmao can you tell#aftg#crow rambles
131 notes
·
View notes
Text
it is amazing what fathers will do and think is a good idea. "Hi I sold your car (that your godmother very kindly gave you) without warning you and am only telling you ahead of your mother arriving with the one I traded it for because she threatened to just not come if I didn't warn you ahead of time. Isn't she such a drag for ruining a good surprise?"
#Tldr my mom wants a new car and my jeep is a piece of shit(affectionate) so shes taking my jeep and leaving her current car with me#until she buys the new car.#My jeep is a 98 Grand Cherokee and everything is wrong with her but thats still my car man#My mom doesn't like that the jeep doesn't have airbags cruise control or a back up camera and needs new suspension#She only has a trade in value of like 300 bucks but my moms car. mini. is something she and i are very attached to#as opposed to the jeep which only i am attached to#Like i know its better and im getting a really good deal but im still really upset about this#idk maybe i just need to stop being ungrateful
50 notes
·
View notes
Text
tghis is my son his name is Yugioh Reference and he is autism
[plz reblog]
#art#furry#my art#fursona art#sparkledog#sparklefur#scenecore#scene#furry art#scene furry#rainbow#rainbows#rainbowcore#uhhmmm hi yugioh fandom im afraid of you all bcuz of my intense fear of fandom anyywa!!!#yugioh#osiris yugioh#idk mAN i dont go into fandoms they really upset me!!!!!!!#whaevtver
394 notes
·
View notes
Text
oopsie
so the stream was a flop (ill need to solve that problem in the future but that was very weird cuz these settings worked with batdr before and i doubt batdr was easier to stream performance wise) but yall didnt miss out on anything cuz uh
basically in 15 minutes i was done with the part of the. "game". that was. actually kind of looking like one. you know i didn't expect any polish to this, it was free and all. that was the part with gaskette, it was. fine. i did not find it interesting but at least it wasnt what the rest of the game was
but you know what, i get it. finally i get it
they, or maybe just mike, but its released under their company so i will say they,
they hate theorists
they hate dataminers
alright, point taken, i guess
just push away the fans who were the most interested in playing your games, cuz that's smart
it's sad really but oh well have it your way
#i dont know how many 'i cant get out of this hyperfixation no matter what' i have in me#believe me i tried to fixate on something else#idk#that game was just a really upsetting experience honestly and i think that was the point#i could form my thoughts more clearly and critically but why should i do that#ough#its so jover man#tbh#i dont think im gonna check out their next games if thats the attitude theyre showing#maybe i should have stopped engaging with them already but yknow i was hoping itd get better#and i still really do enjoy interacting with other bendy fans#but its just too much man#halfpost#bendy spoilers#whatever
68 notes
·
View notes
Text
So I personally don't play DBD (though I think it might be fun to try but I'd be bad at it so) but a streamer I watch plays it a lot and her survival rate against Wesker players is astounding. And funny to watch. So I draw lil doodles for her Wesker interactions to put off doing other art.
#since its a vtuber and dbd im really not sure how to tag this tbh#dead by daylight#albert wesker#????? is that gonna get wesker tag lookers mad at me cause idk man#is it gonna make dbd tag followers upset to see these doodles#idk man but there we go#i actually only drew the worm one today but i never posted the others here#i normally just post them in her server soooo#i finally asked if i had permission to post em to tumblr and she was like hell yeah so here we are#also the second one is from a time when someone had sabo'd a hook and he ran over to her and she just#looked up at the hook space and he also looked up and then just looked down at her again and dc'd#also ive never played any of the REs so im just going off the weird vibes dbd wesker has
112 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#not to be a broken lil man on main#but I was on the phone with my dad for 30 minutes just now (that's a lot for a phone call with him) and like.... damn. yeah. i do have one#parent who's not horrible huh#we talked a lot about my plans for the future...... which I only now told him bcs scary and bcs........ I never ever during my 25 years of#being alive got the impression from my parents that something like this would be an acceptable career choice or something they'd support#and I mean. my [redacted] of a mother is the best example for how. not alright it is with her that I'm doing something that's not very...#traditional for this family#but anyways. my dad was absolutely fucking lovely#to the point that I get getting teary eyed and felt my throat closing up cause. huh. i guess in his own way he does love me and believe in#he asked me to send him a link or a pdf of my first conference report because he wants to keep it somewhere 😭😭😭😭😭😭#I'm....... ouch. ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch#you know the ghosting I am really good at with tumblr chats (sorry guys. ilu. I just suck at communication)???? i'm also extremely good at#that with whatsapp chats and just. not calling my irl loved ones#so idk. hearing him say he understands and just wanted to make sure I wasn't upset with him and like. wanted to know if I was doing okay.#damn. okay. damn#idk#this was such a good talk and he was so suppertive and non-judgemental and I actually told him about my birthday and how my mother's call#upset me and he was like. yeah. same. and like... he's basically gone no contact with her as well as it turns out#idk. I really should give him more credit and like... I feel like there's so much shifting and change and development happening while I'm n#not there and sometimes it's hard to remember that he actually /could/ understand some things. just cause I've always been so used to not#sharing anything about myself because it wasn't safe when I was younger and... idk........ lots of emotions going on rn#so glad we talked though. so glad#simon.out.#if you read all this.... idk man.... sorry for oversharing but thanks for caring ig <3
35 notes
·
View notes
Text
Made another spindle. It's very small. Also very irregular and lumpy due to the wood (I wanted the raised brown lines to stay and erred on the side of caution in how much I cut away...but that did lead to a very irregular spindle).
It also wanted to crumble as I carved, so pretty much all the fine tuning I just did by sanding it, which helps to compress the fibers down as well as remove material without crumbling or splintering.
It really came to life when I oiled it. Probably will be best after a few good coats and some time. My woodburning kit seems to be totally gone, which is a bummer. So I'm not woodburning anymore.
Spins well. Obviously being so tiny and light it was always going to be a fine spinning spindle, but effortless thread from an unprepped piece of fleece is pretty indicative as well. I seem to find myself carving mostly thread spindles at the moment. They're always so small and light in the hand, they remind me of holding baby birds.
#hurt a lot and its the only physical task ive managed today in any capacity#and it exhausted me and im falling over frequently#just from walking the 20 steps to my lawn chair outside the gate and whittling a small spindle#my sister was suggesting activities we could do but they all require holding things really#can barely even hold my phone to type rn#i also cant stop wondering if each spindle is the last i will ever be able to carve because they are so difficult#and take a pretty heavy toll on me. really upsetting to think about because i love whittling#and in an ideal world i would spend a significant amount of time in pursuit of making spindles#but i can't and each one is more difficult and painful#this one i was wondering at what point it becomes unsafe because i lose precision with the knife#when the pain is so bad im dissociating#which i was#switched to sanding instead then#idk man. could i have a shred of certainty about my body ? is that so much to ask for ?#things change and get worse so rapidly i never even have time to adjust to my new norm#there is no norm just rapid decline#i wouldnt have pushed thru the hell that was my teens and childhood if i knew this was what was next#oh well. here i am. whittling spindles thru the blinding pain anyway#what else can you fucking do#spindle making#whittling#supported spindle#vent in tags
26 notes
·
View notes
Text
I saw this and lost it.
#i wish he lived#at least he died content (or thats what i think)#idk abt his death#did he die happy?#he died as somebody he really was?#he was legit made my afo tho#idk abt him i feel sad and very upset#ik that kid in him is like gone but i-#idk man :(#i miss him? I didn't even love him that much#just felt sad bc i loved tenko that lil guy in him#that loved his friends and dog#my hero academia#boku no hero academia#shigaraki tomura#tenko shimura
30 notes
·
View notes
Text
“You know, if you break up with Sveta, meet a gorgeous girl and break Sveta’s heart again, I’m obligated to throw you into the center of the Atlantic Ocean.”
....What does this mean Vicky? He's not allowed to date anyone pretty ever again???
#wormblr#parahumans#ward lb#I'm just missing something right?#I get that she's trying to be a good friend after Weld put her in a shitty situation#but this feels insane#I'm sad they aren't working out#but it's also sort of a valid plotline to exlpore idk#glad this was spoiled for me so I wasn't blindsided and upset by it#I also only read more because I was waiting in line alone for a long time and this was the only thing I thought my phone could handle#I really should just give up on it#but man I want to see the terrible bits people are talking about#I just wish the bad (funny and ridiculous) parts weren't behind all the bad (really boring) parts or the bad (annoying) parts
86 notes
·
View notes
Text
i overturn my uncles barbeque grill and turn the Fourth Of July into the Fourth Of Shit
theres a gray one becaesu i actually hate coloring things so much
#really upset i didnt sraw them Hollering. that is very them. but its okay. i wanted to draw this so so badly.#adventure itme#wizard city#distant lands#spader#blaine#wizard guards#digital#spaders invited to the wizard guard cookout because he is blaines best friend :] larrys inside. in the Magic AC.#COLORING IS SO HARD?????? ummm oh fuck they have shoes. idunno. (slides around on the color wheel) idk. pink. (fill color) okay next.#like what the fuck. how else do you do it.#i know how complementary colors work. but like. on a full scale image??? theres so many tiny little ass things.#and they all have to be different colors and shades so they track to the eye as different thigns.#-> guy who drew SPADER in a WHITE t-shirt voice 'they all have to be different shades'#but i did get a good brush that makes pretty clouds :]#ANYWAYS. i did an overlay layer and i feel better now.#little spader is bringing me such joy look at him. tiny man invited to the barbecue to watch shit go down.
25 notes
·
View notes
Text
everyday I think about him (Ippolit Terentyev)
#the idiot#ippolit terentyev#idk why of all characters he's the one that has left such an impression on me but oh boy#it's been over a year since I've read his 'explanation' and everything that followed and it hasn't left my mind since#god all he wanted was some sympathy and recognition#and they just make fun of him#literally all this boy wants is to be taken seriously and no one does#they either laugh at him or beg him to shut up#because his vulnerability and the fact that he's dying makes them so uncomfortable#and he's so ashamed as well over his own vulnerbility#that even when people aren't laughing at him he'll imagine they are#and people blame him for being self absorbed?? like of course he is!!#he's EIGHTEEN and DYING#this is a teenager who's just come to the realisation that he has no agency over his life whatsoever#and that all that awaits him are the cruel laws of nature#he has a right to be upset about that#he's literally the man condemned to death that myshkin talked about#and yes he's ridiculous and awkward and not always right and incoherent and all that#and he can really be insufferable and contemptuous and unfeeling towards others#and even the state he's in doesn't really serve as an excuse for that#yet i feel bad for him#and he's such a teenager too he's so insecure and just wants to impress the people around him#and yes he's doing it for attention#of course he wants attention#can you blame him??#all he wants is to be heard#to feel like his life mattered#but instead everyone's just begging him to shut up#like they're just waiting for him to kick the bucket so the uncomfortable ordeal can be over with#sorry i just have a lot of thoughts about Ippolit and I'm being very incoherent because i didn't plan on typing all this lol
34 notes
·
View notes
Note
ok siiince you asked for requests for demon boy castys… the tongue cut out + gag seemed like such an adorable situation for him <33
Giving you that and a little extra because I wanted More Whump 💕
←Previous - Castys & Terror AU Masterlist - Castys Masterlist - Next→
Ingredients: manhandling, a lot of unsexy noncon touching, slight dehumanization, partial nudity
Castys wasn’t sure if he slept at all that night, but after what felt like an eternity, Neteri reappeared wearing different clothes under her white coat.
“Good morning, Castys!” She sat on one of the stools from last night and motioned for him to do the same. “Get up, I’ve got wonderful news to share!”
Castys opened his mouth to retort, but he found he couldn’t form the words. His tongue was still…he looked away, swallowing, and sat up while remaining on the floor.
“You’re going to have to start listening to me, you know. Because,” she broke out into an excited smile, “I get to keep you!” Upon seeing Castys’s glare, she just laughed. “I figured you wouldn’t be excited, but trust me,” she held up a finger, “you’ll be much better off in my hands than if you were sold as a pet to some bored aristocrat. I’m sure they’d beat that personality right out of you, and I don’t plan on doing anything of the sort. As long as you cooperate with my experiments, you’re free to be yourself. You can even hate me as much as you like!” Castys raised an eyebrow at her final statement. He’d see about that.
After rummaging in her bag for a moment, she pulled out a little silver medal and moved to crouch next to him on the ground. “Hold still now,” she ordered as she started to bring it towards his neck. Castys wasn’t sure what was happening at first, but after a moment, it clicked, and he decided he’d rather not listen, leaning back. Neteri just sighed. “You’re not off to a very good start.” Well, it’s not like he wanted to be.
Suddenly, Neteri changed tactics, shoving him down on his back and straddling his waist before he could try to sit up, pinning his arms down with a knee on each elbow. Castys cried out, the wounds on his back from the whip lighting up in pain, and that combined with her full weight on him kept him from moving. He bared his teeth as her hand came closer, daring her to get within range, but she just curled her other hand in his hair, yanking it back and keeping his head firmly in place. Great. He was once again powerless against this tiny lady, forced to keep still as she attached that dumb little tag to the collar and sealed the metal shut with the same spell that kept him from taking it off.
“There,” she said once it was on. She tapped the tag, cold against his throat. “Property of Neteri Crozien. Whether you like it or not. Now,” she grabbed his chin, “are you going to let me put some new restraints on you or should I call the guards to manhandle you? Your resistance is pointless and only delaying the inevitable, exactly like every other time. Just nod if you’re going to cooperate.”
Did he want to get manhandled again? Not particularly. He’d had more than enough of being grabbed and held still while chains were taken off and put on. And it’s not like he was resisting out of pride or something stupid, he just fought back when it was something he really didn’t want to happen. Which was most things in the past couple days, but, hey, if new restraints meant he got to leave this boring-ass cell, he was okay with it. Her grip on his hair had loosened enough to allow him a small nod, so he gave one, praying she’d get the fuck off of him now.
Neteri smiled brightly at his cooperation. “Great! Although,” she got off of him and stood, thinking, “maybe just stay laying down. I don’t really trust you not to try and run at the moment, so just roll on your stomach and I’ll take the chains off.” Castys sighed in annoyance but complied, gritting his teeth as his weight went from his injured back to his burned chest. The cold stone floor felt a little good on it, at least, but it was a small consolation as he watched Neteri walk back over with a key and a coil of rope.
She squatted down and-fuck, that was a knee on his back, not her full weight but enough to make him gasp in pain. Paying him no mind, Neteri unlocked the manacles around his wrists, and he could barely enjoy the feeling of not having anything around them for a moment, just wishing she’d tie him up and get the fuck off of his back. It didn’t feel like she was going particularly slow as she pulled his arms behind him and wound the rope around his wrists, but the seconds still dragged by at an agonizing pace.
Finally, she finished tying the knot and took her knee off of his back as she stood. “There we go!” Castys just groaned, rolling on his side. “Oh, stop being so dramatic. It’s not like I was hurting you.” Castys’s glare deepened, and he awkwardly used his bound hands to pull up the back of his shirt enough to expose the bandages wrapped around his torso. Neteri’s jaw dropped slightly, and she just stared at him for a second before worry took over her features.
“I…I’m so sorry I…I completely forgot. That you were hurt. I wouldn’t have done that if I remembered.” Her head hung slightly. “I’m really sorry, Castys.” Her apology seemed genuine, but how the fuck did she forget he got whipped and branded yesterday? She looked back at him again. “Let’s just hurry and get you to your new home so I can heal you up, okay?” Wait, new home? She was taking him somewhere else? At first the idea was scary, but then Castys remembered that he’d never particularly loved living in the castle, so whatever. It was probably just going to be a different prison cell, anyway.
With ridiculous difficulty and a lot of groaning in pain, he managed to sit up, using his elbows to help him do it since his hands were kind of useless. By the time that was done, Neteri was standing above him with…a chain? He was already tied up what the fu-no. No fucking way. He growled as her hands moved towards his neck, baring his teeth once more.
“Seriously, Castys? You said you weren’t a dog yesterday, but you sure are acting like one.” Yeah, sure, whatever, but since he couldn’t fucking talk, he was forced to resort to other means of protest. He honestly wasn’t entirely sure where the growling came from himself, and, yeah, it was a little animalistic, but that didn’t mean he deserved to get put on a leash. “This is happening either way, so just give it up already.” Her hand was moving closer, closer, the clasp at the end of the chain open, ready to-
Once again, instinct took over, and before he knew it, his teeth were buried in the flesh of her hand.
Neteri cried out, jerking her hand back and dropping the leash. “Lyte! Seriously?!” She winced as she dabbed the wounds with what smelled like the stingy liquid from yesterday and used her magic to close them up, during which Castys couldn’t help but smile smugly. Once she was done healing, she pulled on her leather gloves and grabbed a couple rolls of bandages from her bag. “I figured you were going to be difficult to keep in line, but this is just ridiculous.” Castys took pride in being ridiculous, so he’d take the compliment. What he didn’t want to take were the consequences of his actions, but he was a little bit helpless at the moment, so there wasn’t much he could do as Neteri shoved a wad of bandages in his mouth and tied a strip around his head to keep him from spitting it out.
“There. You’re just about the only person who’d need to be gagged when they can’t talk.” Castys just looked away, feeling his face grow hot as she clipped the leash to the collar. She gave it a tug, but he didn’t budge. Now he was just resisting out of spite. Neteri’s expression grew even more frustrated, and it looked like she was about to say something before she stopped herself and took a deep breath, calming herself down. She crouched down to look Castys in the eye.
“Look, I’ve been going about this the wrong way. I hurt you when I didn’t mean to, so I’m not going to punish you for biting me. We’ll just call it even.” She paused and held up a finger. “The gag stays until we reach our destination, though. Just for safety’s sake. But I’ll tell you something about my plans for you. If you come with me, you’ll have a tongue again by the end of tomorrow. Does that sound good?”
Castys could be stupid and stubborn and petty and shake his head and sit here and then end up getting dragged off to wherever, or he could just suck it the fuck up and get the ability to complain back. Complaining would be nice...After weighing his options he nodded, and Neteri broke into a smile. “Good. Let’s go, then.” She helped him stand, and she seemed to do her best not to pull on the leash as they walked along. Soon enough, they had reached the teleportation stone, and Castys…he couldn’t help but be a little excited to leave this stupid place. He knew he was a fucking prisoner now, but he was basically a prisoner in his old life, too, minus the chains and plus a comfy bed.
At least he was going somewhere else.
The other palace was pretty cool, at least, the short glimpses he got before he was pulled into the lower levels, down halls and through doors until they arrived at his lame little prison cell. It did have a bed, though, so that was an upgrade. And a private bathroom?! Why did the prison cells in his family’s dungeon have to suck so much ass? He only spent two nights there, but still. If he was ever in charge of a dungeon, he would make sure it was at least a little comfy in case he got thrown in there.
Neteri clamped a manacle around his ankle, which was whatever, because that meant she untied his wrists and took that stupid leash off. And then, true to her word, she healed his wounds. The brand scarred, of course, which was…the symbol was kind of cool, but since it meant he was “property” or whatever he wasn’t too excited about it being on his chest for the rest of his life. At least shirts existed.
After that was done, Neteri instructed him to clean himself off and left him alone for a bit. He wandered into the bathroom, chain clinking with every step, and paused in front of the mirror. He looked pretty much the same as always, just a little more tired and blood-covered than usual. Oh, and the stupid collar around his neck. Neteri was fucking delusional, it didn’t look the slightest bit “cute” on him, it just looked…He didn’t want to see it anymore.
Once he was clean and dressed in some slightly comfier clothes, Castys tried out his new bed. It was nowhere near as nice as his old one, but it was way better than the floor, so he’d take it. Just as he was drifting off to sleep, Neteri poked him in the face.
“I’m back, Castys, get up and take your shirt off.” Castys sat up, but didn’t take his shirt off, instead just crossing his arms and raising an eyebrow. His wounds were healed, so what the hell did she need it off for? “Come on, I’m just going to examine you and take some measurements. Nothing painful, I promise.” Not painful, sure, but probably still not pleasant. Even so, he didn’t really have much choice but to listen, so he pulled off his shirt and stood, hoping this wouldn’t involve too much touching.
His hopes were in vain.
It started off fine, her measuring his height and a few other things with a strip of leather, but then she started running her hands all over him, poking at him, moving him this way and that. He couldn’t help but flinch every time since he hated being touched, and Neteri was clearly getting annoyed by it. His full-body recoil after she ran a hand down his spine was the final straw. Wordlessly, she clamped a manacle around one of his wrists before shoving him down onto the bed. He tried to stand back up, but she basically fucking tackled him, pinning him down on his back for the second time today. And, to top it all off, she managed to loop the chain around the top of the cot before cuffing his other wrist, leaving him pretty much helpless.
“I wouldn’t have to do this if you’d just kept still,” Neteri sighed, seeing his frustration. Well, it was a little fucking hard to be still when someone who’s basically a stranger is running their hands all over your bare skin. He considered trying to kick her, but she’d probably just chain him up more and keep going, and he’d rather this bullshit just be over with already.
Being chained down on his back somehow made this infinitely worse. There was nowhere to run, nothing he could do, Neteri looming over him as she put her hands all over him, touching his chest, his brand, squeezing his arms, grabbing his chin, pulling at his eyelids, gloves on now, hands in his mouth, poking at the stump of his tongue, feeling his teeth, gripping his hair to turn his head from side to side, his skin was crawling, crawling, his muscles tense, breaths coming short, fast, he just wanted her to get off stop touching him examining him taking notes reducing him down to just numbers just a body not a person not someone who got boundaries or personal space no just someone who gets touched and touched and touched-
“Castys! Hey, hey, just breathe.” Neteri was standing over him now, fiddling with the cuffs on his wrists, releasing him. Castys hadn’t even realized he was hyperventilating, but he tried his best to calm down as he scrambled to the other end of the bed, as far away from her as he could get. Neteri watched him sadly. “I…I was making you uncomfortable, wasn’t I? I’m sorry, I just thought you were trying to be a nuisance.” No shit he was fucking uncomfortable, how the hell did she misread that?! At least she looked upset by this, but it was way too late for that. Castys still felt like there were bugs crawling all over him, and he could feel his heart pounding out of his chest.
Neteri reached out a hand in a misguided attempt to comfort him, but after seeing how Castys flinched and bared his teeth, she backed off. “Okay, okay, I’ll leave you alone. Well, I’ll go get you something to eat, and then I’ll leave you alone. Until tomorrow, and then you’ll have a tongue again and you can complain all you want and yell at me, okay?” Castys would rather never have to see her stupid face ever again, but that’s not how this was gonna work, so he just nodded silently, not relaxing until she’d left the room.
He almost wanted to take a shower again, just to wash the feeling of her hands off, but it was starting to subside, so he just pulled his shirt back on and hid under the covers. What was that, exactly? He knew he didn’t like being touched, and he’d never let anyone do it remotely that much, so maybe being touched for so long in such an invasive way had been too overwhelming. Castys had thought he’d be a little tougher than this, since the thought of pain didn’t really scare him, but apparently being pinned down and touched was too much for him? Kind of…pathetic. Maybe it wouldn’t have been so bad if he could talk, protest, fight back a little bit with his words. Maybe he’d be okay once he could talk again.
He just hoped Neteri wasn’t lying about giving him his tongue back.
Castys Cult: @as-a-matter-of-whump @blackrosesandwhump @fanmanga1357-blog @thehopelessopus @just-a-whumping-racoon-with-wifi
@hearse-song @muddy-swamp-bitch @whumpasaurus101 @yet-another-heathen @galaxywhump
@starnight-whump @his-unspoken-words @misspelledwitch @suspicious-whumping-egg @pumpkin-spice-whump
@painsandconfusion @i-can-even-burn-salad @befuddled-calico-whump @whumpinggrounds @whump-queen
@whumpedydump
#i wrote something#whump-queen#whump#castys#neteri#castys & terror au#thanks aki enjoy sorry it took a bit but i think it turned out more fun because of that hehe#okay DISCLAIMER: neteri forgot he got branded and whipped because i forgot#and wrote her like pinning him down and shit#and then i remembered that he had other injuries#so instead of rewriting everything and cutting out all that sexy shit i just made it her fault so you're welcome#she really does feel bad about it tho#sorry if the gagging wasn't as whumpy as you wanted 😔 once she gagged him neteri simulation was like ''what if she was nice''#because she realized her approach wasn't going to work and she can tell castys is really upset about his tongue#so there it is the way to make him cooperate#he wants to be annoying soooo bad#yeah idk why he started growling. feral fucking man#he is just 19 he is so so young here so the defiant streak hasn't mellowed much aka he bitey#he also hasnt really been touched that much against his will and when it happens oh no :)#idk if it was a full blown panic attack but def a mild one#neteri is afraid he might have been sexually assaulted based on his reactions and she feels really bad about it#she will ask once he can talk again and he can tell her no he just doesnt like being touched
21 notes
·
View notes