#hurt a lot and its the only physical task ive managed today in any capacity
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Made another spindle. It's very small. Also very irregular and lumpy due to the wood (I wanted the raised brown lines to stay and erred on the side of caution in how much I cut away...but that did lead to a very irregular spindle).
It also wanted to crumble as I carved, so pretty much all the fine tuning I just did by sanding it, which helps to compress the fibers down as well as remove material without crumbling or splintering.
It really came to life when I oiled it. Probably will be best after a few good coats and some time. My woodburning kit seems to be totally gone, which is a bummer. So I'm not woodburning anymore.
Spins well. Obviously being so tiny and light it was always going to be a fine spinning spindle, but effortless thread from an unprepped piece of fleece is pretty indicative as well. I seem to find myself carving mostly thread spindles at the moment. They're always so small and light in the hand, they remind me of holding baby birds.
#hurt a lot and its the only physical task ive managed today in any capacity#and it exhausted me and im falling over frequently#just from walking the 20 steps to my lawn chair outside the gate and whittling a small spindle#my sister was suggesting activities we could do but they all require holding things really#can barely even hold my phone to type rn#i also cant stop wondering if each spindle is the last i will ever be able to carve because they are so difficult#and take a pretty heavy toll on me. really upsetting to think about because i love whittling#and in an ideal world i would spend a significant amount of time in pursuit of making spindles#but i can't and each one is more difficult and painful#this one i was wondering at what point it becomes unsafe because i lose precision with the knife#when the pain is so bad im dissociating#which i was#switched to sanding instead then#idk man. could i have a shred of certainty about my body ? is that so much to ask for ?#things change and get worse so rapidly i never even have time to adjust to my new norm#there is no norm just rapid decline#i wouldnt have pushed thru the hell that was my teens and childhood if i knew this was what was next#oh well. here i am. whittling spindles thru the blinding pain anyway#what else can you fucking do#spindle making#whittling#supported spindle#vent in tags
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