#idk just wanted that off my chest

[yandere-romanticaa]

I know it's May and nowhere near autumn, but I'm so jealous of all the countries that celebrate Halloween.

Where I live, it's not celebrated at all and if it is acknowledged, it's no better than some evil pagan western holiday that's meant to brainwash you somehow. I just love the vibes, I love everything about it. I typically celebrate it in my own little way by binging scary movies and stuffing my face with snacks but it doesn't feel enough.

I'm so jealous of the people who got to experience trick or treating with all of those jack-o'-lanterns being lit around. If I even mention Halloween, people call me either silly for even thinking about it or I'm some sort of witch (yes, that actually happened.)

I was done dirty, I should have been born in a different country. 😭🥺

[angstflavoured]

shakes my hands above my head and paces around the room im so sick of everyone acting like ford is a dumb stupid idiot baby who was completely tricked by bill and did nothing wrong. yes he was lied to and bill was abusive, but theres so much more to everything that happened. ford was soooo incredibly willfully ignorant and pushed other important people in his life away, YES bc bill tricked him, but mostly because he wanted to be important. he was actively ignoring red flags from bill and hurting the people around him and was complicit in so much stuff bill did just because he wanted it to be true that bill picked him bc he was special. ford was the one who summoned him in the first place, but then bill just??? told him that he picked ford bc he was special which makes no sense and ford is smarter than that, but he didnt care bc wowwwww he picked me bc im so awesme and smarter and better than everyone!!! he was fucking HEAD OVER HEELLLSSS OBSESSED WITH BILL BTW THAT SHIT WAS NOT ONE SIDED!!! idk why everyone pretends it was. he was building shrines and worshiping him like a god. and never questioned him for a second????? like girl he is the most scientific, curious man in the world and he never once thought bill was lying. he let bill into his life and let him take it over sooo fucking quickly. and he didnt tell anyone bc "they would throw him in a loony bin" ?????? THATS OBVIOUSLY NOT WHY HE DIDNT TELL FIDDLEFORD. he was LYIIINNGG. They were building an interdimensional portal, fiddleford obviously wouldve believed ford and taken him seriously and kept a secret for him. he didnt tell fiddleford bc he was one of the only people in fords life who saw through his bullshit. hes nice, but he stands his ground. as soon as things got too hot, he left. and ford knew that if he told fiddleford about bill that he would immediately be like "dudddeee this is so fucking sketchy you need to research this guy theres obviously smthn else happening." if ford looked into the runes and the messages in the caves, hed probably deduce pretty damn quickly that bill was evil!! but he didnt bc hes selfish and self righteous and wanted to be a part of soemthing bigger than himself. thats literally all he ever wanted. I think the most interesting thing about TBOB is that it shows that it wasnt as black and white as it seemed and that ford wasnt the perfect victim. its shown in the show sooo much how fucked up his morals are. and im not saying this with malice, i fucking love ford and his character so much, i just think so many people act like billford was like a fucking domestic abuse situation where ford was just sad and pathetic and helpless. its so much more complicated than that. ford is not a super great guy and thats such an interesting part of his character. IDK.

[racewinnerlandonorris]

this year as a lando fan while it’s had its highs (it been great to witness everything he’s achieved) it’s been an absolute struggle more so than any other year, i’ve feel myself becoming less and less attached to the sport and to do so in the year he got his maiden win and was “fighting” for wdc feels so shitty. and the fact is it’s got absolutely nothing to do with lando himself, i will continue to support him no matter what, but the discourse surrounding him, people trying to minimise every achievement he got, the bombardment of hate towards him has been nothing less than disgusting, psychotic and heartbreaking. i used to come on this site and go through landos tag to see if id missed anything he’d been up to and it was something that brought joy to my day, however now i can’t scroll through the lando tag without seeing hate directed his way by people, (who are not only losing a few braincells with their inability to correctly anti tag), who just think it’s fun to wish injury and death on people and dont seem to understand the irony in a lot of their posts. not forgetting the insane lando hate anon, while yes i enjoyed laughing at, would flood lando fans inbox’s with hate anytime he so much as breathed. anytime i go on twitter i see more hate for lando from other drivers fan accounts than i see positive things about their drivers. the anti lando hate train that some people think is cool to be on isn’t. and it just shows how rotten of a person you are if no matter what your supposed favourite driver does the first words out of your mouth are about lando norris and reason 626174 of why you hate him. it’s very telling when people who claim they aren’t fans are more obsessed with talking about him than those who are, i beg you all seek help and get a hobby because this type of behaviour isn’t healthy both for yourself and for others around you to witness.

[kebriones]

"I want art to be my job but I can't make art if I feel like I have to"

My brother in christ you are either gonna have to work on that big time or you won't be able to make a living through art, that's just how it is.

(sometimes i talk to people who dream of making a living as artists and they are like grown adults and they still think it's going to be some ideal job where they just do whatever they feel like and get paid to have fun forever and I'm like, this couldn't be further from the truth. You have to love the making of art enough to be able to do it a LOT. And that's something you can work on if it doesn't happen by itself. If you absolutely can't force yourself, or if it's making you miserable to force yourself to draw, an art job isn't for you.)

[offorestsongs]

literally most of the twst shipping discourse is just the most stupid shit ive ever seen but people who are super against Malleus/Leona definitely take the cake. i just cannot imagine making any discourse posts about what is essentially your most basic, standard, run-of-the-mill fandom enemies to lovers ship

[cowchickenbeefpork]

tbh I think Gotham Ed would’ve worked better if the writers portrayed him as more so driven by proving that he’s smart than driven by a actual search for knowledge deep down. I know i know a lot of riddlers are that but he just. Doesn’t read like that to me??????????? This isn’t me saying the writers shouldn’t make him smart, but if your going to write him count as insane then incorporate the need to fucking prove how smart he is when he’s doing that shit?????? Why are you making him do illogical actions that don’t tie into that like yeah you don’t have to make it make sense logical he is insane when he gets into those moods BUT OH MY GOD KEEP HIS LOGIC CONSISTENT GUYS

I feel like if they were consistent about him needing to prove he’s smart and justifying irrational behaviour by some bullshit he’s convincing himself he’s doing then his relationships with others romantically or whatever would make more sense too. Why is the man who thinks love is a weakness not bothered deep down by how intimidate he’s getting???? Show that to me Gotham MAKE HIM GIVE A HALF ASSED PSEUDO LOGICAL REASON FOR DATING ISABELLA MAKE HIM START OUT BEING MENTALLY SOUND IN SEASON THREE DUE TO BEING ON MEDS AND SLOWLY BUT SURELY LOSE IT AND BECOME MORE INSECURE BECAUSE OF HOW OTHERS VIEW HIM!!!!!!!! GOTHAM WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME

It’s not even like the writers never made him ever do insane shit and then try to rationalize and make it logical. He literally thought Jim knew he killed Kristen and planned out a fucking eloberate plot to frame Jim WHICH RATTED HIMSELF OUT FROM HIS ATTEMPTS TO PROVE HOW SMART HE IS GOTHAM IS CAPABLE OF WRITING EDWARD BEING SO SCARED OF BEING WEAK AND DUMB HE DOES STUPID SHIT I DONT GET WHY THEYRE SO INCONSISTENT WITH THIS OUGHHHH MENTALLY UNWELL PEOPLE DONT DO RANDOM SHIT JUST BECAUSE THEY HAVE A INTERNAL LOGIC TO THEIR ACTIONS EVEN IF ITS FLAWS GOTHAM STOP DOING THIS TO MEEEEEE

[savemebeel]

Sorry for the lack of edits recently, I’ve been trying my best to keep up with it all but I’ll be honest it’s a little difficult doing that since I’ve been sick for this past week. Not only that but I recently changed jobs so now my schedule is a bit different than what I had before.

I’m still keeping up with editing the latest cards but I’m still behind on finishing some memory cards from the last 2-3 events which I apologize for. I’m hoping to get over my fever so I can get the energy to edit and upload those cards for you guys. I appreciate you guys being patient with me while I recover.

Also I’d like to be fully transparent about this as well but I feel like I’m losing that motivation to edit as a whole. Before I say anything else I wanna make sure y’all know that I’m not quitting on editing any time soon, but I would be lying if I said I don’t enjoy doing it like I did before. Editing now has turned more into a chore than it does as a hobby. Maybe it was when I lost my first blog or it was the lack of engagement but I do not enjoy editing like before. I feel bad saying this since I know to those who’ve stuck around me do like my edits…idk I just feel stumped on what to do or how I’ll move forward with this. For now I’ll be editing at my own pace and give myself small breaks in between so I can finish edits at my own time.

[signedjehanne]

dear white bandom tumblr, what the hell do you want us to say?

i’m tired. i’m really, really tired. 

look, what do you want us to say at this point? this was supposed to be a safe space, for the freaks and the outcasts, but we’ve long established that it is very much not safe. it’s crystal fucking clear.

and honestly, pretty much every white user on here is actively contributing to the hostility here. whether you like it or not, it’s not good to only reblog empty reassurances of anti-racism that do more service to yourself than to others. it’s not good to see poc on the dash trying to educate the white majority and doing everything possible to educate you, and either A) ignore it, B) like it, but don’t reblog it, because god forbid you sit with your discomfort for more than five seconds, or C) send racist anon hate to the original poster, or try to deflect their points. it’s not good to see something racist and let it slide. let me get this straight: none of these fans of color owe you anything. fans of color don’t owe you the time of day, fans of color don’t owe you education, and fans of color don’t owe you the dignity of a levelheaded reply in response to your racist comments. 

often times, we try to educate because we want this space to change. i mean, i didn’t have to write a five paragraph essay dissecting anti asian racism in mcr’s content. i did it because i was angry, and tired, and frustrated, and wanted the space to change. the same reason that every other ignored dissection and analysis that spent blood, sweat, tears, and emotional labor to make was created. a lot of the time you guys just don’t understand how much effort things like that take. and to be clear, this is not just the usual “oh my post didn’t go viral and i’m not a celebrity i’m so sad,” this is “i poured all of myself into trying to educate people that turned out to never care. i have been blatantly shown that the people around me aren’t interested in changing, no matter how much they claim to be.” 

and like, do you want me and countless other users to go in depth again? do you want us to jump from racist incident to racist incident? to hold your hand through explaining why making art of ray being arrested is bad, why gerard’s fetishization of asian people is bad, why making rising sun art and designs is bad, why reducing all of pete wentz’s work to being about mikey way is bad, why shaming people with non-european features for “not looking emo enough” is bad, why insulting and degrading pete and ray for their natural features is bad, why cropping ray out of tour videos is bad, why calling people slurs in their askboxes is bad? (and so much more that i didn’t add.) do you want us to go over the history of racism in alternative spaces as a whole? do you expect us to do all of those things for you on a whim, to make it palatable to you, as if we weren’t real people with real feelings behind the screen and as if we had infinite time and emotional energy? really? when there are many resources already out there, both online and offline? 

what all this tells me is you don’t see us as human. simple as that. you expect us to be able to take the abuse, to be able to silently let your racism pass, and if we ever speak up, you ignore the work we give to you and demand inhuman feats of patience and generosity, answering your every question and responding to your every debate and coddling you as you refuse to sit with the reality of the space you’ve helped to create. and that’s only if you claim to be on our side. 

it’s insane hearing you try to placate yourselves. trying to mindlessly agree without looking inward. i know this sounds harsh, but i know that most of you need to hear it. i just want this space to actually change, like i was begging for back in january and february. of course, i was foolish to believe that it ever would. and i’m foolish now, writing this as if people are ever going to pay attention. even if it does break a few hundred notes, it’s not like the message is going to stick around. sure, you’re “doing the work”, “listening and learning”, but how am i supposed to know that when your responses never change, and this scene stays the same as it ever was?

[colourfulmes]

Bit if a ramble here idk don’t mind this but

The people who constantly ask from creators one singular thing bother me, it’s been happening a lot from Eggsmr with hazbin hotel fans begging him to make more Lucifer x listener ASMR Even though he’s ALREADY MADE 4 PARTS and said he wasn’t gonna do anymore, please be glad you got 4!!!

So much demand has caused him to state that he doesn’t feel like making anymore of character impressions/ASMRs and that sucks for the people who enjoy those but also Egg himself-

I’ve seen this type of stuff before, especially within fandoms such as NWTB, back when Nate was grinding pulling out so many FNAF songs just to please people and fans that he got sick of it, he only uses the FNAF brand to post music because he knows fandom music is the only thing that’ll reach to the audience and algorithm

Like, fuck YouTube for shadowbanning his ass to only make fandom music but I’d love to hear more original stuff not only from Eggsmr and Nate but other creators too!

As much as I love making fandom content and obsessing over my goobers, please respect others wishes on wanting to make their own original stuff, their things are just as good as the fandom things!!!!

[ghosts-of-love]

writing passionate love declaration scenes in fanfiction is cute and all but also lowkey sad sometimes

[flatspot]

genuinely do not mean to come across as inflammatory saying this, but it drives me up the fucking wall when lewis fans say they 'can't wait for him to leave the sport', beg him to give it up, and complain that they're forced to keep watching it for years to come because he's sticking with it. it's just not something i understand.

you're getting the opportunity to watch him do what he's best at, a thing he loves doing more than anything else in the world, that he is choosing to do, and you want him to give all that up for.....what.

if you don't enjoy f1, if the issues with the sport make it too difficult for you to appreciate watching? don't. it's simple.

he's not staying against his will, he's not making himself miserable, and neither should you.

i honestly don't know if this is a newer fan phenomena, that you guys know him more for his exploits outside of the sport, or what. but in all likelihood, we don't have that many years left before the big r word, and as someone who has been here since his day one, who enjoys watching him be the greatest of all time and has cried and despaired and celebrated through his entire journey to get to where he is, i cannot imagine willing that to end any sooner than it has to.

[narwhalandchill]

its been like. nearly a year (How.) already but i cannot lie theres Still a part in the back of my brain occupied with and being thoroughly entertained by the way that childes confirmed 4.0 complete self-awareness over waking up the narwhal at 14 recontextualizes some key liyue things leading to some very funny self indulgent scenarios in my head

like yes chili is old news its basic please excuse me for predictable popular ship crimes (do NOT however associate me w the crimes of fanon against their actual range. theyre peak to Me) but i just keep replaying the imagery of zhongli and childe back on their homoerotic Professional Working Relationship bullshit where their flirting passed the jkjk unless treshold of even remotely plausible deniability like 8 exorbitantly priced business dinners ago and theyre just like. doing that whole song and dance now neither committing to a move except zhonglis presently feeling moderately conflicted (but nonetheless fairly unfazed at) by the prospects of actually developing some sort of a thing for the harbinger hes supposed to puppet master into executing the major story climax of his 67-step retirement plan bc he turned out to be quite the strangely charming ginger specimen (to His weird fucking 6000 year old tastes at least. they deserve each other) with some fascinating life ambitions he cant help but be enraptured by.

but because hes still 100% Locked In on his entire plan zhonglis also just . simultaneously dual wielding his coy-ass "i like you and am taking it slow to Savor this developing relationship (Also bc of the Geo Archon Shaped Elephant In The Room) except am old as shit so my languid sense of time inadvertedly Automatically turns my behavior into an equivalent of the dark souls boss of playing hard2get" act (cue "waddup im ajax 24 and im in fucking agony with this hot funeral consultant". Yes they live like this) AND also meticulously theorycrafting like 12 moves in advance for his 6d chess play of leaving the most subtly crafted trail of breadcrumbs behind for the tsaritsas 11th to follow into the intended & completely "Coincidental" idea of unleashing the one particular sealed sea deity that zhongli Specifically wants momentarily released for his sweet 6k retirement party and graduation test for the nation hes helicopter parented for 3.7k years .

like. this is zhongli we r talking about the guy Absolutely has it planned out down to a fucking art like he has an entire branching path dialogue tree planned and memorized like its a visual novel for every possible way he can conveniently namedrop osial in a non-suspect way and also that he just happens to be sealed right over there across the harbor (what a coincidence!) and also to slip in the intel about the latent power of the sigil of permission etc etc. like zhonglis just out there doing all this massive galaxy brain computational work simultaneously while infodumping on an academic level about whichever subject childes latest random comment of amicable small talk happened to remind him of because in his helicopter parent in remission mind its Absolutely Critical that the idea about releasing osial occurs Completely organically in childes mind it Has to he Cannot risk revealing anything . (hes in remission not in recovery guys.) so like here we are. he requested notes from the tsaritsa Personally on the character of her 11th just to ensure every move was painstakingly crafted to draw him Specifically to the intended conclusion without risking revealing his true identity .

except. the thing . neither he. nor the tsaritsa . would have been informed of . is that this simply isnt childes first fucking rodeo waking up an eldritch city sized sea creature . and he is very well aware of this fact . he woke that beautiful wonderful beloved huge fucking narwhal up by himself had his brain chemistry Immediately and Irrevocably rewired as a direct consequence do you fucking think hes somehow stopped thinking about that singular moment for even a second since then???

yeah . thought so.

so what actually ends up happening in reality is theyll be on another definitely-serious-business-not-just-a-date and zhonglis going to get down to like dialogue selection part 10 of the 86 step conversation tree at Most where hes only beginning to like Vaguely allude to the key pieces of information involved but it turns out Because Hes That Guy (TM) And Has Been There Done That Before childes basic pattern recognition and sense of irony simply proceed to kick in Way ahead of time and hes Immediately perking up like Hey wouldnt it be really fucking funny if i wake up an eldritch sea beast Again . like just in case. as a last ditch effort .

and zhonglis just sitting there seeing the gears turn in his head as they enjoy their cringe fucking picnic (bc they just stare at each other intently like that nowadays its a thing. being in a room with them by this point is essentially a human rights violation) and is just completely fucking flabbergasted and lost on how in the hell childes speedran his way to that conclusion at what amounts to barely a 13% completion rate in his whole overkill fucking plan (just 1 of 3 contingencies btw) and its like yes he has his intended outcome but also precisely 0 idea on how the fuck said outcome was reached the way it was this fast . like hes still winning its His plan thats well underway and ahead of schedule but How

(pov: ur selling the concept of waking up destructive sea creatures to the guy who woke up a celestial body eating cosmic whale at 14)

anyway its truly beautiful i absolutely detest these two and have prime liyue AQ hijinks nostalgia now thank you for the lore drop that allowed this to become canon in my head hoyo

[homobrainjuice]

IFFFF I SEE GR@VITY FALLS ONE MORE GOD DAM TIME /hj

[willkimurashat]

Rant? (potential spoilers?)

Alright, don't hate me for this, but I actually feel bad for Amelia. Firstly, no one's interested in her romantically (story of my life, and let me tell you, that really does your head in sometimes). Secondly, she's been put in the middle of drama multiple times now, for the sake of drama and/or for shaking her already somewhat shady/unsteady relationship with her twin. Thirdly, the guy that is supposedly head over heels with mc (in my game it was Roberto) goes on to kiss Amelia and then she has to act like nothing happened because she doesn't want to cause more drama for her sister, plus, he still acts all pouty around mc and looks disappointed when she doesn't pick him at the recoupling. Who's to say that Zeph didn't actually pine for Amelia the whole time he's been in a relationship with mc, and Amelia just had to watch that with pain all these years?? And now she has to see everyone in the villa swoon over mc, while she is, again, left in the shadow. I meannn, if I were Amelia, I'd probably cry all day or walk, ngl. So no, I don't want to be her enemy, we're siblings and I want us to be on the same team - I don't want any discourse between us, I just want to forget the past and for her to be happy in a couple with someone who genuinely cares for her.

[spidybaby]

So, I want to talk about something I feel it's important for me as a writer. I'm not sure if anybody else feels something similar.

We as writers write because we love doing it, we don't get paid, we don't get any benefits. The only thing that keep us doing what we do is the feedback you guys as readers provide us.

Even if it's an emoji, a single word, a long paragraph. Everything is accepted and loved.

I feel that recently the things that are published don't get that. As a reader myself I love commenting something, sometimes little. Sometimes so much.

In my personal experience, I sometimes feel like "why do this?"

Don't get me wrong here. I love writing, it's like a way for me to get over things that happen on the daily basis.but sometimes I want to get feed back, either good or bad. To make sure I'm doing a good job. Cause we as writers get insecure.

Just wanted to drop my thoughts. Love you all 💛

[h0dge-p0dge]

small vent thing ig???

I've been losing the idgaf war so bad for the past week and I have to wait another week until I see my therapist??? guh everuthing sucks fat balls rn cuz I'm thinking sooo much about one little thing, and I keep thinking everyone hates me, but I don't wanna talk about it to my parents cuz it's embarrassing how much it bothers me this is not normal behavior 😭😭😭