#but the discourse around everything is so draining that sometimes i just can’t stand to be around it

[ln4wins]

this year as a lando fan while it’s had its highs (it been great to witness everything he’s achieved) it’s been an absolute struggle more so than any other year, i’ve feel myself becoming less and less attached to the sport and to do so in the year he got his maiden win and was “fighting” for wdc feels so shitty. and the fact is it’s got absolutely nothing to do with lando himself, i will continue to support him no matter what, but the discourse surrounding him, people trying to minimise every achievement he got, the bombardment of hate towards him has been nothing less than disgusting, psychotic and heartbreaking. i used to come on this site and go through landos tag to see if id missed anything he’d been up to and it was something that brought joy to my day, however now i can’t scroll through the lando tag without seeing hate directed his way by people, (who are not only losing a few braincells with their inability to correctly anti tag), who just think it’s fun to wish injury and death on people and dont seem to understand the irony in a lot of their posts. not forgetting the insane lando hate anon, while yes i enjoyed laughing at, would flood lando fans inbox’s with hate anytime he so much as breathed. anytime i go on twitter i see more hate for lando from other drivers fan accounts than i see positive things about their drivers. the anti lando hate train that some people think is cool to be on isn’t. and it just shows how rotten of a person you are if no matter what your supposed favourite driver does the first words out of your mouth are about lando norris and reason 626174 of why you hate him. it’s very telling when people who claim they aren’t fans are more obsessed with talking about him than those who are, i beg you all seek help and get a hobby because this type of behaviour isn’t healthy both for yourself and for others around you to witness.

[hellothere-generalangsty]

Fives - Anchor

Pairing: Fives x reader

Word Count: 1450 words

CW/ TW: Angst; mourning/loss, death, letter, anniversary, pain, brooding, it’s very heavy and sensitive so please proceed with caution and let me know if I didn’t TW something you deemed necessary; also a bit more hopeful/ light toward the end because my heart couldn’t handle that much sadness tonight

Tags: @chaoticvampirejedi @loth-wolffe @m-o-o-n-s-g-o-o-n-s @tacticalsparkles @imalovernotahater @canwestayinthisdream @wakeupjackthisisntfair @namesmox @badbatch-simp24 @lightning-wolffe @maddieskywalker @for-the-love-of-clones @m-e-w-117 @99squad

@ladykatakuri @firelordillyria @andiebell2023

Notes: I guess I missed him a lot tonight… Sorry for the pain

Some elements included in this fic are inspired from chats I had with @m-o-o-n-s-g-o-o-n-s ; thank you little moon for being an inspiration to me 🌙

Iridescent - Linkin Park

.

0000.

Happy anniversary Fives.

Though I don’t see how it could be happy, when you’re everywhere but here. I never grew used to your absence, I never could; not when you’re haunting my every move, haunting this place and this world, finding your way back to me through faint memories and thousand of faces walking up to my office every day, asking me about my day and if I feel well.

I have to look at the ghost of you, every single time, and lie.

“I’m fine. What can I do for you?”

And I hear your voice again, and again. It tells me about the pain running through your back, the nightmares hitting harder than usual, and the fear eating you alive every time you get out of your hard, cold bed.

But it’s not you. It never is. I never could be.

I stopped buying your shampoo. I couldn’t even bring myself to finish the bottle we had in the shower. It’s still there, hidden somewhere in the bathroom, waiting to be emptied and thrown away carelessly, in such a mundane way one could so easily forget about it. But I can’t throw it away; it’s not mundane anymore.

I hid the jewels too, except for the bracelet. I hate to wear it, but I hate even more to put it away. I just feel…I feel naked when I don’t have it, and empty when I do. I can’t help but see you – feel you – through the shades of blue and black. What was once the purest blessing turned into the worst curse, and I can’t break it. I almost did – breaking the bracelet. I almost did.

I could if I really wanted to; but then I would lose you again, and I just…

I gave your aprons to the boys. I couldn’t stand to see them, neatly hanging in the kitchen. They were silly anyway, and I had no use for them. I’m a doctor after all, not a cook.

I published my thesis on the clones’ rights, and it is being presented to the Senate by Senator Amidala as we speak. I told her I wouldn’t be able to be there for her discourse, and she simply hugged me. I wish she hadn’t.

0527.

It’s been a year, yet it feels like yesterday. Everyone moved on; everyone but me, and I can’t help but be mad. I am mad that they forgot so easily about you, that they brushed you off as “another collateral damage”, another…clone. It’s the way they say it when they try to comfort me.

You were more than a clone. More than a soldier, and more than a man.

You were Fives.

You were my anchor, and I was your ocean.

I miss the way you said it. Coming home to me, tired, features drained and eyes darkened by the horrors of your latest campaign; but always soft and caring through the hoarseness of your voice as you whispered it against my skin. You always found a way to be there for me; for everyone, even when you were losing yourself in your own prison.

I am mad at you because of that. Because you couldn’t stand back for once, be egoistic and think of yourself instead of trying to play the hero in the dark. They killed you because you didn’t wait, not even when I asked you – begged you to. I am so angry because I called you an idiot, and all you could answer me was “I love you too, my ocean. My anchor.”

You didn’t even let me say it back.

1134.

I am mad at myself. You trusted me enough to tell me everything, and you knew I would believe you. And when you tried to do something about it, I called you an idiot. I wasn’t even there with you; I should have been there with you. I could have saved you.

Fives…

I remember the first time you came home. At the time, it was still “my place”, but the moment you stepped in it stopped being mine only. I always told you to come by if you needed; and the one time you did, we ended up laughing so hard the neighbour had to knock at the door. But it felt good. I guess that day I gave you a part of myself, and you carried it with you ever since. I suppose it died with you, too.

I know I shouldn’t be so broody; I can almost hear you, your chuckles filling the room, your hands pressing down my shoulders as you tell me “it’s a celebration, smile for me!”; and the smell of that shampoo tickling my nose as you come close to lay a kiss on my cheek…

But now the only thing I can feel are the tears, and that twisting ache in my chest, burning my skin and ripping my lungs apart. I can’t even breathe correctly anymore, I…

1745.

I’m sorry I had you waiting.

I fell asleep on the table, and woke up because of the cold. It’s always cold in here now. I borrowed one of your old sweatshirt - I hope you don’t mind. I kept them. I almost gave them to the boys, along with the aprons; but then I thought they could always come in handy.

They do. When days like today happens; days where I feel too lonely, where I miss you too much and it just feels too cold, I slip into one and hold it so close to me it almost feels like you’re here. My arms become yours, your faint perfume comes back to me fresh and soft, and I sometimes swear I can feel your warmth against my skin. I close my eyes when I do that, and it stops being a dream for a second.

For just a second, you’re back. You never truly left.

And when I open my eyes again; when I realise what it is all about, I still feel you. I see the bracelet, smell the black tissue, watch one of these B movie we used to laugh at and somehow I feel the best and worst I’ve felt in a long time.

I wish you were here. I wish I could tell you how much I missed you and how beautiful you are; if I could hold you tight, one last time... I didn’t even get to hug you one last time. I didn’t know it would be it; else I wouldn’t have let you go.

Echo is supposed to come around today. He told me he would. He didn’t forget about you either, you know. Neither did Rex, or Jesse, or Kix. Your vode didn’t forget about you. They always make sure to keep you alive, tell everyone about you and remember them of who you were.

Echo always says you’re his best friend. He never uses the past tense. I can’t blame him; I still say you’re the love of my life whenever people ask me. I guess we know deep down these things will never change. We don’t want it to change.

Wait, someone knocked.

2226.

When was the last time we laughed like that? For once, we turned the tears into something better; lighter. I’m sure you would be proud of us.

Of course, you would be proud of us.

It almost feels good to see you through Echo; to find glimpses of you in his smile, the faint spark in his eyes when he retells your best pranks, and the way he chuckles...I almost feel at home right now. With you. Not quite, but close enough.

Enough to make me smile, for the first time today.

Echo says hi. He’s watching me writing to you. He asked me to tell you that Rex lit a candle for you this morning, and the boys had a little something for you; but I can’t know what; apparently I “wouldn’t understand anyway”. So I hope – we hope – that you liked it.  We’re probably going to watch a bad movie and mock the poor acting until we fall asleep, and tomorrow we will…We’ll probably think of you again, but hopefully there won’t be as much tears as today.

I guess it’s a battle worth fighting. Not for the Republic or the Greater Good; not for the Senate or the Chancellor. Not for the Jedis or the Galaxy.

No, it’s a battle we fight for you, Fives. Let us be your anchor, for once, and rest easy now, because more than anything or anyone else out there… you deserve it.

2359.

Happy anniversary Fives.

I love you too, my Anchor.

 - Your Ocean.

[sillysorcerer]

A small flame dances in front of the three guards, the light dancing across their faces.

"It, it's a phantom. it has to be!"

A young, frail knight shakes in his armor. It is ill-fitting, and the three are clearly poorly funded.

"Shut up! it's the witch's trick. It has to be. She's around here somewhere," the large guard corrects his companion. He has a flat, bold face.

"What if it's a fae? or- or a sprite," the first guard asks. The larger guard inches closer to the flame, studying it. The heat is all too real on his face, and it still dances on the wind, hovering in front of him, taunting him. He is about to grab it when the small guard causes him to jump.

"It's a fairy! We're all going to be cursed just looking at it!"

"It's not! Shut up," he snaps back.

"What is it then," the third guard asks. "He might have a point. Fire doesn't just fly."

"F-fine. You have a point." The bulky guard backs away. "Let's just go. She can't have gone far." The three guards cower away, down the road.

The mage known as Rose Lalonde fades slowly back into view, casting off her invisibility now that her pusuers were gone. Fire plays around her fingertips.

Rose leans against the tree on her back. She sits on a waist-high stone wall, built to protect travelers along the road. It stretches further than anyone can see. Long ago it was clean and white, but now it is dusty and grey with time, even as the bright sun shines on it.

Rose extinguishes the flame with a snap of her fingers and heaves a long sigh. Her pointy hat flops slightly, matching her bored sideways glance. She only looks up after noticing the fanged face staring at her, hanging upsidedown from the tree. Whoever it is decended unnaturally quietly, but Rose refuses to give up any emotion.

"You don't seem very worried about the guards," the stranger smirks, grinning ear to ear. Her long black hair floats down a foot or so, a stark contrast to Rose's pale blonde hair. The woman's fangs poke ominously from her mouth.

"Please, these guards couldn't catch their own shadow," Rose responds. She meets the creatures eyes, and stares into a deep green abyss, darker than night.

"You don't seem very scared, human."

"That's probably because I'm not very scared," she replies, leaning back.

"You don't know who I am?"

"You mean you aren't a very strange dryad?"

The stranger is stuck for a moment, without an answer. Her guest laughs, and disolves into thick, black smoke, making the shade as dark as a moonless night. The blackness congeals into a very tall woman, her head resting just below the taller branches. She wears old, distinguished clothing, fitting some sort of noble. A large corset hugs her frame, and the dress under it is tight and ornate.

"Is this more satisfactory for you, before I drink you dry," The vampire asks.

"Much," is the only word Rose Lalonde offers. She still hasn't budged, and at this point, the vampire's curiosity is piqued.

"You are a wanted criminal are you," she asks, "Hiding from the silly guards?"

"It depends on who you ask. Everybody seems interested in the Lady Grimme," she gestures to herself with a flourish of her wrist.

"You must be pursued as well. You didn't show yourself until they left." Rose leaves the vampire with another charming smirk.

"Astute, little wizard-" Rose cuts her off with a sharp

"I am *not* a wizard." The vampire takes a step back, surprised by the sudden expression shown by the mage.

"Struck a nerve, have I, wizard?" She leans in close to rub it in.

"What makes you so different?"

"Everything. They dress like gaudy tyrants from a planet of harlequins, throwing their filthy beards around like unshowered would-be gods. They think magic can be tamed, controlled, and auctioned off. They have no respect for the danger sorcery can create. They believe the world is there to serve nothing other than their inflated intellects. They are fools pretending to be powerful."

"A deep nerve it seems," the vampire laughs. "I'll certainly enjoy draining it," she toys.

"That still doesn't explain why you are wanted."

"The wizards got what they deserved," Rose responds, ignoring the tall brooding woman's teases.

"Don't be so reticent, dear Lady Grimme." The fanged creature sits on the air, seemingly oblivious of gravity.

"Please do tell. Give me a taste of your life." Rose is silent, still smirking at the vampire. The tiny mage thinks she is the one in control here. The vampire is only playing with her, for now. Would they fight, Rose would be hopelessly outmatched by the tall, thin, creature of the night.

"You expect a lot from me when you haven't even told me your name."

"Ah, but names have power, don't you know, Rose Lalonde?" Rose doesn't move.

"Where did you get that name?" Rose feigns concern. She sits perfectly still, watching her fanged guest.

"We both have our secrets."

"But only one of us are any good at hiding them," Rose retorts. Behind her smirk is the ever so subtle presence of superiority.

"Hahahaha!," The black haired vampire has never seen such a bold face presented to her. She can't decide if she hates it, or enjoys it.

"You're a bold one, mage. No one has had such nerve to play games with me." The vampire licks her fangs, staring at this tiny mortal before her feast.

"Unlike the wizards, I can back up my prowess."

"Watch your choice of words, mortal. You can't move from my charm," she teases.

"And you have no way of hurting me even if you wanted to." The black-veiled vampire stands up to loom over Rose, growing closer as they continue their discourse. Rose is quite aware.

"Are you willing to bet on that?" The vampire freezes. Why is this puny mage so confident? She's fallen for every trap laid before her. Why does she still seem so smug? Suddenly, the tall vampire isn't so sure. She smiles, settling on a test for the human.

"Those charmed by my presence are only able to lie." She grins, waiting to see Rose's response.

"Clever. Either I play along, or reveal I am unaffected. And I assume you'll kill me if I don't, so I may as well." The little witch catches on fast, the vampire thinks. At least her meal is a smart one.

"Your death will be more fun this way, you'll see. So, let's begin. What are you really wanted for?"

"Wanton destruction of the kingdom, study of the dark arts, kidnapping, brainwashing, attempted treason, murder, arson, and tax evasion," Rose lists mindlessly off the top of her head as her eyes roll. She doesn't even try to hide her sarcasm. She's issuing a bet, a verbal puzzle, and it hasn't gone unnoticed.

"What of that was the truth," her fanged company frowns. No human could do so much.

"All of it." Rose gives that infuriating smirk again. It is a lie, but not one she can learn anything from. The vampire growls. Moments ago this wizard seemed worried about pitiful humans in thin metal plates, playing guard. Why now does she act so defiant?

"Would you call yourself powerful?"

"Only sometimes," Rose responds. It's impossible to garner the truth from her claims. Rose knows this. It's clear from her piercing, amethyst eyes, and that damned smug smile.

"Are you having fun with this," the vampire asks.

"I've never had this much fun." She responds, leaving loopholes like a genie.

"Will you tell me anything?"

"I'll tell you anything you ask," Rose teases.

"Where are you from?"

"Nowhere in particular." Rose seems to be enjoying this far too much.

"Why aren't you worried?!"

"My mother told me to be a brave girl." The vampire laughs for only a second. It fuels back into her growing anger.

"Why did you act like you could beat me?"

"I was stupid." The vampire scowls, how DARE she LIE about that. She IS a fool for challenging me, the creature thinks.

"Lie or not, I'm getting hungry. Do you have any last words?"

"I do not."

"So bold. What will save you when I bleed you dry?"

"Vodka will save me." Rose has to try not to laugh at her own joke.

"Do you fear me?!?"

"Actually, I enjoy this talk." The vampire raises a claw, only a foot from Rose's face. Then she stops.

This smile is different. There is sincerity in Rose's face. Then she stands and bows... The vampire shifts, standing straight. In an instant, the tension fades, bewilderment taking it's place.

"How did you escape my charm? How are you not enthralled, frozen?" The vampire stoops slightly, studying the human so below her.

"Imagine your surprise when you find out." The tallest female looks irritated again.

"Do you ever tire of speaking in riddles?" The vampire is getting tired of waiting. As if Rose can sense her impatience, she responds.

"Fine. ask me anything. I will give you an honest answer." The vampire studies her, thinking hard. This question will end her little game.

"Why are you still here?"

"I wanted to see you in person." The vampire is frozen. No one, not a single human in ten centuries has ever been this bold in front of such an ancient and powerful being. who *is* she? The creature's thoughts are interrupted by a sudden gust of wind. A massive, four-eyed black dragon lands beside the tree. Rose climbs atop it's back.

"Come Mutini, I think our guest has had enough for today." How dare she! The vampire lunges, but it is too late. The massive dragon has taken off.

The vampire stands, still reeling from the interaction she's just had with this so called Lady Grimme. She was confused at the conflicting information, but more infuriated that her meal was interrupted. Good food doesn't run away. She will find Rose again, and when she does-

the vampire's thoughts are interrupted. She kneels, and picks up a book the witch must have dropped. What a fool.

It takes the vampire a minute to process what she sees. It is the Grimoire of the Zoologically Dubious, written by Abdul Alhazred. The dark arts- was this witch serious when she said she studied the dark arts? There is a bookmark inside, and the vampire opens the book to the marked page. Inside is an illustration of her own face. Kanaya Maryam, the Rainbow Drinker. Listed is her age, powers, and very nature, indiscernable to all but the most foolish humans who dare translate it's ancient text. Below it all, is the mage's signature, "RL".

The vampire realises Rose left this behind on purpose. She had everything planned the second they met, she may even have planned their meeting. She was prepared for every charm, every game, and for her eventual escape. Every answer was planned, every statement calculated, and every move was thought ahead of time. And the vampire fell for it.

She looks up at the fleeting shadow in the air. Never in her entire unnatual life had she met someone quite like Rose Lalonde. But now, she was thirsty for more.

@rosemarymonth2021 Here is my story for the Fantasy prompt

[the-starless-sky]

BAE x The Cat’s Whiskers / “PRIDE” voice drama track 1

Mob A: Ahh, that was sooo great! So this is the legendary CLUB paradox's live...!

Mob B: The music was good, but the phantom was amazing, wasn't it!? Aah~ it feels like I'm still in a dream!

Mob C: Hey, which one did you vote for?

Mob D: Honestly, I was so lost! Hey, let's come again next time!

Mob C: For sure! We're not heads if we miss this!

_

Yohei: Seriously! I can't accept this. What's so good about that nothing but loud bunch?

Saimon: A loss is a loss. We have to accept it with our mind and body.

Yohei: Hah. You don't even think so yourself.

Ryuu: Don't fight, Boss, Master!

Yohei: It ain't a fight!

Ryuu: Master~ your face’s scary!

Yohei: Shut up.

Ryuu: And Shiki, too! Don’t be sad and gloomy [1]!

Shiki: S-sorry...

Ryuu: Muu... no helping it. At times like this... that’s right! Calisthenics, Shiki!

Shiki: Eh!?

Ryuu: Let’s go~! 1, 2, 3, 4... Come now, Shiki, you have to twist it more!

Shiki: Ouch, ouch, ouch! I can’t do more than this, Ryuu-kun!

Ryuu: Hmm...~ That’s weird... Hmm... If this joint bent here, then...!

Shiki: Stop it, Ryuu-kun! That’s...!

(Shiki bends one of Ryuu’s joints.)

Shiki: Ahh!

Yohei: Oi, oi, don’t break Shiki!

Saimon: Ryuu, it’s not good to force Shiki. Stop it right there.

Ryuu: Eeh~!? Even though it’d feel good after this...!

(Someone knocks the door.)

Saimon: Who is it? Please come in.

(Door opens.)

Anne: Good day, Saimon-sensei! Tonight, too, you’re extremely cool! You were wonderful~

Saimon: Faulkner-kun! And Sugasano-kun, and Yeon-kun. You guys came.

Allen: Yes. Today, we came as B.A.E. Well... it’s something like a courtesy call...

Hajun: Inspecting enemy movements, you can say.

Yohei: Hah! You said it. And? How was our stage?

Hajun: Fufu. Behind the times, it was.

Yohei: Ha? Oi, say that once again.

Hajun: Sigh... don’t make me say it numerous times. I said that it was behind the times, you guys’ music.

Allen: Wha－Hajun!

Anne: You don’t say that when you come to greet someone.

Hajun: I’ll say it clearly, Saimon-sensei... no, Kotonoha and God summer-san. I heard that Quadra-X [2] was a team that even got invited by an overseas fest, but... that was just a story of the past, after all, huh. How unfortunate.

Yohei: Bastard...! Just ‘cause I let a brat like you talk...

Saimon: Yohei. Indeed, that was in the past. In reality, Quadra-X has broken up, after all. However, now that we’ve reunited, there’s also Ryuu and Shiki. Our will and style towards music haven’t changed, but please understand that we’re already a different team.

Ryuu: Yeah, yeah! After all, there’s Sparkly Ryuu-kun and Gloomy Shiki now!

Shiki: I’m... gloomy...?

Yohei: And? Dissin’ us being stale, what about you guys? Just jumping at trends and thinking of yourselves as cutting-edge... ain’t that just child’s play?

Allen: Huh!? What’s with that!?

Anne: Wh－ Allen, not you too! Stop it.

Yohei: Hah! Not even having your own figure and style... there’s no meaning in doing rootless hip hop. Well-bred young masters and ladies should just sing ballads and get spoiled by others.

Allen: You said ‘style’, but isn’t saying ‘fuck off’ to bothersome stuff like customs, standards, and common sense’s what hip hop is!? We’re just spinning the sound we think is cool. The vibes that exists here and now... if you can express it, no matter how it is, we don’t care. We’ll just swallow it, drain it, and make it our sound!

Hajun: You say good things sometimes too, don’t you, Allen. If you only adhere to your own style, losing sight of discourses [3] and fear change and evolution, that’s just fossil music. It’s better to put it in a museum, is it not?

Saimon: Good grief... this is pretty harsh. They’ve got us there, didn’t they, Yohei?

Yohei: Tch.

Anne: Jeez... Both Allen and Hajun is so immature.

Ryuu: Sniff, sniff, sniff!

Anne: Ah.

Ryuu: Hmm~? Mm~? Sniff, sniff.

Anne: Whー what!?

Shiki: R-Ryuu-kun! It’s impolite to suddenly smell people like that!

Ryuu: Sniff, sniff, sniff, sniff! You with long hair, and you with spiky red hair...

Allen: Wh-what?

Ryuu: You guys have the same smell.

Allen: Ahh, that’s Anne’s perfume. He always uses so much it’sー

Anne: Grr!

(Anne punches Allen.)

Allen: It hurts!!! Suddenly punching me like that...! I’m against violence!

Anne: It’s because you’re saying rude stuff.

Ryuu: Sniff, sniff... But, you with mushroom head...

Hajun: Hm? What is it?

Ryuu: You’re being left out, aren’t you.

Hajun: Ha?

Ryuu: Ahh, but it’s not like you’re being bullied or anything. The one who left you out... is yourself, after all.

Hajun: What are you sayingー

Ryuu: Sniffsniffsniffsniffsniff!

Hajun: Oof! Could you please get away from me? You’re a bit close...

Ryuu: Sniff, sniff, sniff... That’s weird... I can’t smell ‘true scent’ coming from you.

Hajun: True scent...?

Ryuu: That’s right. You’re always inside a transparent box... Ah! I see! You don’t want to show anyone anything but your ‘clean self’, do you!

Hajun: ...!

Ryuu: Aha! You’re like a mushroom stuffed in packaging! Ahahaha, ehehehe!

Shiki: Sorry!! Ryuu-kun’s a somewhat peculiar child, so...

Hajun: Ah, no...

Shiki: Come on, Ryuu-kun. Get away from him...!

Ryuu: I wonder why~? But, if you don’t come out of there yourself... one day, you’ll rot... and become an unneeded child.

Hajun: ...Stop screwing around...

Ryuu: Hmm?

Hajun: Stop screwing around!

Ryuu: Uwooah!?

Yohei: Bastard, what are you doing suddenly!?

Ryuu: Ou-ou-ouch, ouch, ouch...!

Shiki: Are you okay, Ryuu-kun...?

Hajun: You... take back your words just now. [4]

Shiki: Words...? What do you mean?

Hajun: Don’t play dumb!! You said it, didn’t you!? That I’m a... ugh...

Allen: Stop it, Hajun! What are youー

Hajun: Shut up!!!

Allen: Ha... jun...?

Hajun: Damn it!*

Anne: Hajun!

(Hajun walks out, smashes the door close.)

Allen: He’s...

Anne: Yeah... he was seriously angry just now, wasn’t he?

Saimon: I’m sorry. Even though you guys took the time to come, somehow it turned into something serious.

Anne: Saimon-sensei...

Saimon: Don’t worry about us, go and run after him quickly.

Anne: Yes. We’re going, Allen.

Allen: Yeah...

(Allen and Anne leaves.)

(Ryuu’s stomach growls.)

Ryuu: Aa~aah, Ryuu-kun’s hungry! Heey, let’s eat Raimen-tei’s char siu ramen without the noodles and go home!

Yohei: This one’s carefree, huh? Oi, Ryuu.

Ryuu: Huh?

Yohei: What did you say to him just then?

_

(Tinging sound of ice in a glass.)

Saimon: Sigh. “Behind the times”... we just received quite a severe preemptive punch, didn’t we.

Yohei: Shit... ‘cause of that, I can’t get drunk at all.

(Yohei pours more drink into his glass.)

Saimon: It’s better to stop there. Trap reactions get more intense if you drink heavily, after all.

Yohei: I know.

Saimon: Shiki... has started, hasn’t he.

Yohei: Yeah. I laid him on the bed at the second floor. Ryuu’s more or less looking after him, but... Honestly, I can’t stand seeing Shiki’s ‘that’.

Saimon: Trap reaction... I wonder, just what is it that Shiki’s fighting?

Yohei: That kinda thing... nobody would want to let anyone touch the wounds in the deepest part of themselves.

Saimon: Yeah... but...

Yohei: Even so, Shiki chose the path to do it [5] with us. It’s his own resolution.

Saimon: Yeah.

Yohei: All of us is like that. If we use our metals, one day we might lose everything and die. Even so, if we don’t do it, we’ll die. Haha, jeez, what unfortunate livin’ beings. [6]

_

Shiki: Ah, ah...!! Ahh!! I’m sorry, I’m sorry...!! Aah...!! AAAH...!!!

Ryuu: Shiki, today too you seem in max pain...~ ‘Til how many hours left will this continue?

Shiki: Ah... it’s my fault, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry...!!

(Shiki clutches Ryuu’s hand.)

Ryuu: O-o-ouch!! If you grip Ryuu-kun’s hand with such monstrous strength, it’ll fall off!!!

Shiki: Ah...! Ryuu-kun...?

Ryuu: Oh!! You noticed!

Shiki: Ah... I-I’m sorry... I, again... When I saw the nightmare... did you keep holding my hand?

Ryuu: Yeah~! If not, Shiki’ll scream out ‘waah, waah!’ after all~

Shiki: Sorry... I’m always troubling you, don’t I?

Ryuu: It’s okay, ‘cause it’s interesting!

Shiki: Huh? Interesting?

Ryuu: After all, no matter how much Ryuu-kun uses his medal, he’s never had trap reaction, right?

Shiki: You have special constitution, after all. Honestly, I’m a bit jealous...

Ryuu: It’s boring.

Shiki: Eh?

Ryuu: After all, Ryuu-kun’s the only one left out.

Shiki: Ah... that’s not...

Ryuu: Sometimes, Ryuu-kun thinks... not having a trap reaction definitely means I couldn’t build a connection with anyone.

Shiki: Ryuu-kun...

Ryuu: Ah! You still have a fever? You do, right!?

Shiki: Ah, yeah...

Ryuu: Then, here!

Shiki: Ah!! What is it!?

Ryuu: A live octopus! If you put it on your forehead, it’s cold and feels good, right!?

Shiki: W-woah... it felt like it moved just now...!?

Ryuu: Yeah, it’s still alive, after all.

Shiki: Alive...!? Gross, take it off me quickly...!! A-ah, it hurts!

Ryuu: That’s no good, no good! You have to put it on your forehead, or your fever won’t go down~! Even though I bought it for you...

Shiki: But...!! It smells fishy... and it’s slimy... it’s gross...!!

Ryuu: Do your best, Octopus!! Such out Shiki’s fever!! If you can’t do it, I’ll eat you~!! Oh, I’ll still eat you even if you could, though, ahahaha!!

Shiki: Uhh... sobs...

_

(Yohei plays “Faith” intro on the piano.)

Saimon: That song... in the past, Tsubaki used to play it there a lot, didn’t she?

Yohei: Yeah... for some reason, I wanted to play it in a while.

Saimon: What do you think of B.A.E?

Yohei: They’re cheeky brats.

Saimon: Haha. But when I see them, somehow I’m reminded of the past.

Yohei: Pft.

Saimon: Yohei, Tsubaki, and I... that time when we were young, fearless, and just rushed towards our ideal music.

Yohei: Well, that young lady’s a nice woman. 

(Yohei plays “Faith” intro again.)

Yohei: She’s kinda similar to Tsubaki-san, isn’t she? Their appearance’s entirely different, but like... the atmosphere, you know.

Saimon: That’s... true. But, Faulkner-kun’s not a woman, you know?

(Yohei stops playing the piano.)

Yohei: Eh...? He’s... a man?

Saimon: Fufu. Did I disappoint you?

Yohei: No way. As long as I have hip hop, it’s enough.

Saimon: Connecting people with music... do you think we can do that?

Yohei: We have no other choice, for that person who fell midway in chasing after her dream... [7] that’s the only atonement we, the people left behind, could ever do.

Saimon: Atonement... huh. I’m glad you’re here, Yohei.

Yohei: Huh?

Saimon: After I lost Tsubaki and ran to university, Yohei, you stayed in this shop and played the piano whilst waiting for me.

Yohei: It’s just that unlike you, I don’t have anywhere else to go to.

Saimon: Thank you, for doing music with me.

Yohei: W-what are you saying, after such a long time!? Disgusting!

Saimon: That’s my true feelings, though.

Yohei: Plus, there’s Ryuu and Shiki now. Quadra-X’s broke up already. The Cat’s Whiskers are us nowー

Ryuu: Hey, hey!!! Do we have a takoyaki maker!?

Yohei: Are you stupid? We’re a jazz bar! There’s no way we have that in hereー

Saimon: We do.

Yohei: We do!?

Ryuu: Yaaaaay!!! Well then, after Shiki’s fever go down and Boss and Master’s trap reaction ends, let’s have a takoyaki party!! Takoyaki party!!

Yohei: Pft. So bothersome.

Saimon: Haha.

Ryuu: Delicious takoyaki made together with everyone ♪ Run after it ‘till the ends of the takoyaki galaxy, with an aftertaste  ♪ Crunchy outside, and fluffy inside, and steam coming out of your mouth  ♪ Yeah, it’s done! ♪

Notes

[1] Jimejime also means damp and humid.

[2] クアドラエックス (kuadora ekkusu) - Quadra-X seems to be Yohei and Saimon (and probably also Tsubaki’s) unit in the past. I don’t know the stylization though, so I just go by what I think it is.

[3] Honestly not so sure what he meant, but probably it’s like not wanting to question tradition and stuff like that?

[4] Hajun’s always using the proper and formal ‘anata’, but here he uses the informal and pretty rude ‘omae’!!

[5] ‘Do it’, as in form a unit and perform with a phantometal.

[6] Inga na ikimon - as in living creatures with unfortunate fate/destiny.

[7] Yohei actually didn’t specify who (he just said ‘that person’ and ‘in the middle of dream’), but from the flow of the conversation, feels like it can’t be anyone else but Tsubaki...

*Thank you @spooderhearts22 for the input! 

[crunchyenglish]

Angry Lunatic's Scientific Journal of Shit I Made Up. Vol. This One

Feeling uncharacteristically productive today, and my new job is unusually slow. Time for another edition of my extremely occasional series, where I take the bold, dynamic declarations of the internet's lowest life forms and try to hold them up as an actual scientific hypothesis. I also try to learn something, which is usually the easy part given my limited knowledge base and tremendously narrow worldview. And since I'm making pretty liberal use of the word "scientific", here's the usual disclaimer:

I am not, and never have been a scientist. My education is paltry and laughable. Part of the point of this series is that this knowledge is freely available to anyone with an internet connection (which all my targets obviously have) and a desire to learn (which all my targets obviously lack). My only qualifications are a willingness to spend sometime Googling and a desire to showcase the stupidity of others.

Note: A lot of the dumbest discourse on the Internet these days is political in nature. Nothing seems to shut down people's ability to reason and function quite as much as cheering for or against a political party. And that landscape is currently filled bizarre conspiracy theories that are deeply tempting to rebuke or debunk. However, they aren't really in the spirit of this series, and unfortunately politics breeds that stuff because there's a lot of grey area and no source is considered very objective these days. Also, no one following politics has ever learned anything except "we are a fucked up species", and learning is my stated secondary goal.

So, with the housekeeping out of the way, let's get to this issue's hypothesis. This one comes to us from Mathew Shields. From his website, "He is a free- lance researcher and international speaker on the human energy field, paranormal phenomenon and healing techniques to name a few." That's right, it's time for this journal to up its game and beginning analyzing the claims of professional bullshitters. Mat Shields is a top-shelf dickhead with a bunch of suckers following in tow, and this claim in particular stands out as primo material for our little article:

"Negative Ions- the invisible healer.

Negative ions enhance our mood, stimulate our senses, improve appetite and sexual drive, provide relief from hay fever, sinusitis, bronchial asthma, allergies, migraines, even post operative pain and burns. Negative ions stimulate the reticuloendothelial system which is a group of defense cells in our bodies which marshal our resistance to disease. Negative ions promote alpha brain waves and increased brain wave amplitude which results in a higher awareness level. The body is better able to absorb oxygen into the blood cells, oxidize serotonin and filter airborne contaminants."

That's actually just the opening to a much larger article, in which Mat tells people to keep their shower running constantly in their house, since water in motion produces more "negative ions" than standing water. Before I get angry (ok, I admit it, too late) let's take a moment and appreciate this fine, thick slice of bullshit. This really is a master class. You can tell we've moved up to the big leagues here. You can't tweet this level of bullshit. It's got a bunch of impressive sounding words. It's claims are vague and opaque enough to confuse and desirable enough to tempt. Truly splendid bullshit. Now, let's figure out how we're going to take it down.

Negative Ions are a widespread health myth, propagated by all sorts of pseudo-doctor types. Typing "Negative Ions" into Google is going to get you a lot of positive results, and not all on homemade web pages with links to a Zionist World Order Theory in the sidebar. Sites like WebMD, Nutrition Review and other seemingly "reliable" sites have hosted blogs, articles and editorials by all stripes of quacks, most of whom are happy to push this narrative in order to sell you "negative ion generators" or "negative ion bracelets" or some other brand of this particular snake oil. And the health claims are exactly the kind of unspecific promises on which pseudo-science thrives: more energy, better sex drive, clearing up headaches, the works. Let's start with what a "negative ion" is even supposed to be.

An Ion, as you learned for a test and then promptly forgot in school, is an atom or molecule which is carrying a "charge". This charge is either positive or negative, dependent upon the number of electrons versus the number of protons. More electrons creates a net negative charge, fewer creates a net positive charge. The actual term for a negatively charged ion is an anion. This is a clever dodge by the quacks here. If you google "Negative Ions" you get all their bullshit, in no way hampered by any actual science, because people who know what the fuck they're talking about don't use that phrase. 

Supposedly, these electron discrepancies are the source of "Negative Ion"'s "healing" powers. The only thing Anions should attract are positively charged ions, called cations. This is simple electromagnetism. Negative attracts positive and repels other negatively charge particles. Arguably, you could say that Anions would also "repel" or push out other Anions, but if that's how they work you wouldn't feel any of their numerously claimed benefits. So, unless positively charged Ions, cations, are constantly draining you of energy, causing you pain, making your dick wilt, and are giving you hay fever, then there's no reason for fucking Anions to have any benefit to you.

And I can even prove cations aren't doing that. Coulomb's law bitches! I could try to stumble through a basic explanation, but for the sake of accuracy, let's just cut and paste this next part:

Coulomb's law states that: The magnitude of the electrostatic force of attraction between two point charges is directly proportional to the product of the magnitudes of charges and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. The force is along the straight line joining them.

Short answer, if for some reason, you had a bunch of positively charged cations clogged up in your body, you would be constantly discharging them anyway. You are constantly coming into contact with Anions, they are exceptionally common. You don't need "constantly splashing water", or a "negative ion generator" whatever the fuck that's supposed to do. Oxygen is a goddamn Anion. Fluoride is an Anion. Chloride is an Anion. Cyanide is a goddamn, fucking Anion.

Ions are everywhere.  I mean it, fucking EVERYWHERE. The forming of covalent bonds is the literal building blocks of the entire universe. To somehow suggest that nearly everything in the universe is divided into "neutral atoms", "the good thingys" and the "bad thingys" is fucking infantile nonsense. It's stupid on a level that I can barely comprehend and I once scrolled through Trump's twitter feed for nonsense for another article. If you're having trouble understanding the absolute incoherency of the bullshit here, let me try an example.

Imagine if I told you that all nutrition was categorized in three ways - Solid, Liquid and Jell-O. Now imagine that I also tried to convince you that Liquid was "The Bad One" and tried to sell you a device that turned all liquid food into Jell-O. That's the level of arbitrary crazy we're talking here. The only apparent thing you have to do to convince people to buy your shit is keep the benefits vague and use science-y sounding bullshit like "Negative Ions".

This one was less experimental than some other articles I've written. I didn't cite my sources properly, and I ranted a lot more. That's because I'm starting to think that writing rebuttals and thought experiments is the wrong tact for solving this problem. Maybe you need to already be a trusted quack and then tell people to their face that you simply fooled them and stole their money.

To that end, I'm proud to announce my new product - the Energy Wave Modulator Collar. Simply place it around your neck and let it's natural minerals effortless modulate the alpha waves in your brain and the beta...channels...in your....ehhh, let's say eyes. You'll see results in just a few days, or hours, or weeks. Your headaches will be far less frequent and more manageable. Your energy levels will rise. Your sensation of taste will greatly improve, and everything will smell just slightly like vanilla. You'll gain immunity to bee-stings. Your dick will stay incessantly hard for days at a time. If you don't have a dick your uterus will make friends with you and never hurt ever again out of respect for that one time you came to its birthday party. You will suddenly eat healthier and make better romantic choices. Buy my shit, losers.

[confessiontf2]

what happened with overwatch? What's your damage? I mean that in a good way... like i mean what happened to make you so annoyed im curious nothing harm meant by asking but dont answer if you dont want to

You want the honest to god truth about my opinion on Overwatch? Here we go.

Under cut.

First of all I don’t think I’ve ever gotten so angry with a game to the point of tears except for TF2 BUT ONLY BECAUSE A BUNCH OF FRIENDS WERE GANGING UP ON ME, other than that I just get annoyed sometimes at most but Overwatch has made me so fucking angry to the point I’m literally trying not to cry I’m that angry. I just want to beat the shit out of everything.

Now let me get something straight, I like and will still continue to like the concept of Overwatch. The comics, the characters, the lore, I’ll still be into that cause it’s cool, just like there’s many people in the TF2 fandom who do not play the game but probably know more about the game than I myself do. 

I however am completely done with the game and its the first time I can honestly say I find something cancerous.

Where do I begin?

Well it shows that this is clearly the first time Blizzard made a fucking FPS because it’s so goddamn broken. The game mechanics are broken, the characters game play themselves are broken. Like for example, Blizzard has this favor the shooter bullshit, right? So how this shit works is that if someone is lagging slightly, they see you in front of a wall, okay? Imagine this, you are actually behind the wall, but on their screen because they are lagging, you are not behind the wall. Because of how favor the shooter works they shoot you and the game registers it and suddenly you’re dead because they basically shot through a wall due to this. I have had multiple times where I know very well I am behind the goddamn wall but when I watch the feedback replay, It shows me not behind the wall. This also means it places you in areas you were not standing. I should mention I have a high connection speed which results in very low ping so it is not me lagging, which confirms that favor the shooter is bullshit, because again if someone is lagging they actually have the advantage over someone who has a lower ping. 

Blizzard should of done like everyone else and had the server decided if someone is hit or not not the user’s game clients telling the server they hit. Also I’ve never actually seen favor the shooter work in my favor, presumably because I have high ping and can actually see people lag and rubber band, and actually register correctly if they are behind a wall or something.

Next? Community. I gotta be honest I think the community is actually more Toxic than the TF2, the only place I’ve actually met toxic people is on community servers but for official servers I don’t really run into that many. You find salty, mean and rude people all the time on Overwatch and that is to be expected because these are more than likely the same people who either play COD or any of Blizzard’s other games and Blizzard in general is known for having really bad fanboys and the like. 

It’s not just that though, look at the fucking discourse that happens in terms of fandom over Overwatch. It makes me so mad. We’ve had issue in TF2 sure, but not to this extent. People fucking complaining and jumping the gun because there was a bug in Mei’s new skin that caused her to look a bit skinnier than normal, people getting upset that Mei isn’t larger. People are always trying to be fucking problematic with this game, claiming stuff like I’ve seen one post where someone claimed the whole CNY event was racist basically claiming white people can’t take part in Chinese culture, not to mention people saying blizzard is racist in not having enough representation in general, saying they are sexist etc. Blizzard is not sexist or Racist, I’ll give them that. I mean I’m still kinda questioning shit like the Indian head dresses for Heavy and Soldier, but like Blizzard hasn’t really done anything that is noticible in that regard, but people bitch anyway. I’m sick of their bitching tbh and the stupidity, I just can’t take it.

I also have issues with the characters themselves in terms of their game play. This is just a select few I’m going to go into detail with but there’s issues with all the characters.

Hanzo - His hit boxes are literally the size of a truck. I’ve seen him hit my foot and get a head shot, I’ve done it myself. He’s a sniper you’re suppose to aim for the head. Couple this with favor the shooter and we have a complete fucking mess because they can miss your head by a mile but again hit boxes the size of a truck and the player as Hanzo gets a head shot.

Mei - Probably the worst fucking mechanic I’ve seen in a high speed action filled FPS. This character has an attack that freezes you solid, slowing you down first, and prevents you from moving. On top of this the girl can shoot an ice spike directly into your head up close and you can’t do anything but sit there and watch it happen, oh but it gets better, Mei can also drain your health while she is freezing you. You’re down half health on most heroes by the time you’re frozen, and she gets a FREE head shot which is a crit and will be an instant kill on most heroes. There is an in game tip to fight Mei from long range and that tip pisses me the fuck off every time I see it because yes, her freezing is short range, but, MEI CAN SNIPE. SHE IS NOT A SNIPER, SHE’S A DEFENSE, SHES ALMOST A TANK. I’ve seen people play Mei and headshot me across the map, what was that about fighting long range?

Symmetra - Yes she needed a buff but not in the way Blizzard did it. This girl has a useless secondary attack that goes too fucking slow to do anything but play fucking pong between two Genjis in a custom game, and her primary has such an insane damage output she can out damage a Mercy’s healing. Picture this, I was playing as D.va. D.va has 600 hp, a Mercy was healing me. Without any extra turrets or anything Symmetra locked on to me (did I mention her attack cant just lock onto you and has a fucking 7 meter range?) and out damaged Mercy’s healing and killed the both of us because once she was done with my mech she had a damage ampt up. Yep that’s right the more she attacks the higher her damage. D.va has 150 hp without her mech. Symm just came and tapped me after dealing with my mec and instantly killed me and my Mercy. It was no time frame in between.Literally one single touch and we were both dead. How is that balanced?

I’d also like to point out how bullshit Overwatch is with nerfing characters. The characters I mentioned above need to be tweaked because yes what I described was bullshit,  and y’know what? There’s a character in this game named Mccree, Jessie Mccree. Okay so this cowboy, maybe some of you know him, Blizzard decided “huh, Mccree is doing an awful lot of damage, maybe we should nerf that. He’s also sniping and has too long of a range so let’s give him a damage fall off because he’s not a sniper.” Alright fair enough, BUT WHAT ABOUT MEI AND SYMM? THEY CAN DO ALL THAT YOU JUST NERFED MCCREE FOR. Like seriously.

Also Blizzard has these things called Lootboxes, they are like the cosmetic crates in TF2 but you earn them with levels and they are free to open, no keys or anything like TF2, but there’s a catch.

They are free because there’s shit all in them and it’s impossible to get good shit out of them unless you grind your fucking life away. I have opened 20 fucking Lootboxes in the span of last night and today, and I have yet to get anything good for the current CNY event, aside from sprays and voice lines. No sign of a skin or an emote and I’m not even getting any of the basic shit from the regular lootbox sets. You’d think you’d only get the CNY stuff in the CNY lootboxes but no, you get regular shit and if you’re lucky CNY loot boxes. At least with TF2 if you open the right case, you’re garenteed something cosmetic for your money, in Overwatch you are not and voice lines and sprays are kinda fucking shit.

And on top of this lootbox shit, if you want 3 free lootboxes every 5 days you have to play some sort of game from the Arcade Mode, not the Quick Play. Here’s the thing though... All the Arcade modes suck, its almost impossible to find a good team to win because people fuck around in Overwatch when it comes to actually trying and winning worst than they do in TF2, and in order to get these 3 lootboxes you don’t need to just play 9 arcade games, no, you need to fucking WIN 9 arcade games and every 3 wins you get a fucking box. And let me tell you with the mentality of the players, it’s almost fucking impossible to win. I’ve been 2 goddamn days trying to win 9 fucking Arcade games and I’m 1 win away from my next lootbox and thats when I realized I’m giving the fuck up on this game cause fuck this bullshit.

And again the toxic people come in. “Play quick play.” They say but here’s the thing I FUCKING WOULD PLAY QUICK PLAY IF QUICK PLAY GAVE YOU 3 FUCKING LOOTBOXES EVERY 9 WINS. I’m only playing Arcade to get the lootboxes because I refuse to fucking spend money on these things cause buying them does not increase the chances of getting anything good out of them. It’s a waste of fucking money. Like there’s no reason why Blizzard can’t either put in a 3 lootbox thing in quick play or make it so you just have to play 9 games and not matter if you win or loose the games.

and I’m telling you. Unless you get a group of 6 players, which I do not have most times because I don’t have that many friends, you will not win a single fucking game only by chance if you are playing solo because people fuck around like you wouldn’t believe.

“We need a tank? goes genji.” Like it’s literally worse and more cancerous than tf2 because tf2 you can work indipendant of your team and still win, but since Overwatch is a team game, when people refuse to work as a team, as most people tend to do, it’s fucking horrible. You will not win.

Also people don’t know how to take out fucking sentries like, it’s worse than tf2 cause in tf2 people know how to deal with them. The minute the enemy puts down a sentry or turret the game is lost, I mean I know how to take them out but I try and take them out but then no one goes for the point and its just a waste of my time and we loose because players are idiots. I cannot handle the level of idiots that is in Overwatch and you can’t just keep trying until you win because there’s strict time limits on everything in Overwatch even capture the flag. At least in TF2 if nothing is working you can still defend until everyone gets bored and just rack up kills. 

This game just makes me so fucking angry like you wouldn’t believe, and after today and what bullshit I had to deal with today I can finally say that I am fucking done with the game. I still like the fandom related content like art and stuff, and the characters, I mean I hated on Symm and Meis gameplay the most but I like both of them as characters, but I will probably never play this game again except once in a blue moon because there’s too much bullshit to deal with.

With that said, I have business to attend to in Tuefort.

*Magic*