#again i am sorry for the pain
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
poorly-drawn-mdzs · 8 months ago
Text
Tumblr media
Assisting Acquaintance Acquired.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wen ning#wei wuxian#Ignore how Wen Ning's hair looks here because I messed it up. Let's pretend he just sported a different hair style for a brief moment.#I am not exactly great at consistency but I am trying very hard to work on that (immediately messes up again).#Absolutely *love* how Wen Ning clearly remembers and admires WWX...who does *not* recognize him.#This is the best day for Wen Ning and it means *nothing* to WWX. A painful one-sided crush made worse.#It is bittersweet to realize that we care about someone more than they care about us. Sometime we pour love into a relationship-#-with someone who just can't reciprocate. It isn't always a conscious things either. Some people just aren't aware we care.#And painfully - so painfully - You can't make them aware. No act of kindness or gift or self sacrifice will make someone care about you.#You can martyr yourself for someone and they will continue on unchanged.#I think a lot about the parallels between WN and LWJ. Not foils - just reflections. A theme repeated.#People who give so much of themselves to someone who doesn't have the capacity to give any part of themself away.#I will die on the hill of 'Wen Ning would be the love triangle romance if that trope wasn't being avoided'.#And to be honest - thank the stars above that is the case. I do not know any good love triangles in media.#We are skipping some of the sad Jiang Cheng content because I really want to finish season 2 before May.#Sorry JC emo moment lovers...I'll deliver another time.
923 notes · View notes
februarytodeath · 1 year ago
Text
GET NISCHA'D
Tumblr media
@rtc-secret-santa-event gift for @kittieshauntedourfantasy!! so so so sorry for giving it late :( hope you like it still
i was Going Through It the past few weeks but we nischa through the pain
this is like.. the most experimental i've gotten with colors omg i struggled so much but i like how it turned out in the end :3
611 notes · View notes
clock-06 · 2 months ago
Text
Tumblr media
Curly Mouthwashing I dislike you but I could never hate you.
Mouthwashing has me by the throat rn shoutout to ADHD and hyperfixations
The only truly innocent person on board is Anya, Daisuke I love you dude but I feel like you could’ve helped Anya and just kinda assumed someone else was gonna do it. Swansea, you kinda redeemed yourself but not enough.
Jimmy deserves to live in horse purgatory forever
118 notes · View notes
waywardstation · 26 days ago
Note
Choo-choo! We've almost reached the likes goal on the reblog game!
Please be mindful of future likes for this game!
Now then get ready for departure soon! All Aboard!
Tumblr media
For this post
Thank you everyone so, so, so, SOOOO MUCH!!! I set an incredibly difficult goal for this honestly, and yet you all helped it be reached!! I appreciate it so much, thank you!!
Unfortunately however, the next part is not finished yet. I was planning to have it finished and ready weeks ago, but I became severely sick and have been unable to finish it to have it ready for this wonderful moment :( I’m so sorry. And I am still pretty bad off, and I’m unsure how much longer it’ll be like this for me.
But!! It was still pretty far along when I had to stop. A lot of it is done. And I have tried to make it up to everyone by making the part extra long. And it is becoming more lighthearted and about comfort now, the next choice to make falls into that ^^
ONCE AGAIN THANK YOU EVERYONE!! It means a lot to me to see that people are actually commenting on the comic and celebrating that it has reached its goal. It means a lot to see that people care!! I am so excited to get the next part out to you guys and to continue on this once again!! ^^ <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
46 notes · View notes
tekatonic · 6 months ago
Text
Tumblr media
Doomed Prince
Sonic x Shadow Generations X Metaphor: ReFantazio
if you thought you were done with me shilling Metaphor boy were you wrong ! here comes a crossover !
so in the upcoming Atlus fantasy rpg Metaphor, the protagonist goes on a quest to save their childhood friend : the prince of Euchronia, from a deadly curse. with twists and turns along the way, starting with the assassination of the King !
this is a redraw of this visual !
Tumblr media
do you see how beautiful this art is i mean DAMN
anyway i'm extremely excited for this to come out and if you're a fan of games like Persona, SMT, Fire Emblem, Xenoblade or FF, you might like it too !
124 notes · View notes
rat-boots · 7 months ago
Text
Tumblr media
the beastles
78 notes · View notes
uhbasicallyjustmilex · 15 days ago
Text
feeling very grateful for the cute barista today who clearly clocked a) my fontaines d.c. tote, and b) the fact i was stuck on a spectacularly bad date, and proceeded to play me an entire playlist of fontaines d.c. and sneak me extra vegan marshmallows with my hot chocolate
#an absolute GEM 💗#we need more people in the world like this#they restored my faith in humanity 🙏#unlike my date#who was… well. i’ve been on worse ones i guess#but he monologued at me for a two and a half hours#and on the rare times i actually managed to get a word in edge ways or voice an opinion#he just twisted it round to suit what he’d been saying#it REALLY annoyed me#the entire thing annoyed me actually#i am so sick and tired of going on dates with straight white men who feel the need to explain everything to you#as if you’re not a person with a mind and experiences of your own#also wtf is the point on going on a date with someone when you aren’t remotely interested in getting to know them???#the man asked me maybe two questions total the entire afternoon#i could write his entire fucking biography#also at the end he said how cool and mysterious i was#and i’m like ????#i’m only mysterious because you’d prefer me to be that than an actual person who you could have had a proper conversation with#*breathes out slowly*#phew okay i was angrier about this than i thought lol#the older i get the less tolerance i have for shit like this 🫠#anyway yeah sorry#vent over 😅#i’m just so annoyed because i have SUCH limited energy atm with my pain and fatigue etc and i just wasted it on him ffs#but then again#the cute barista and the fontaines d.c. and the marshmallows were most definitely not a waste of my energy#they totally saved my day honestly 🙏#fontaines d.c.#lulu posts
35 notes · View notes
labotor · 2 years ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
recent + old scarecrow art dump 🎃
551 notes · View notes
cent-scratchnsniff · 3 months ago
Text
Tumblr media
here together
#lobotomy corporation#lobcorp#lobotomy corp spoilers#lobotomy corporation spoilers#abram lobcorp#i didnt know that the song that plays during day 48 ending is called 'here together'.#couldnt hear it well because i typically have my sound low (sensetive to louder sounds) and also the dialog fucked me up#so when i pressed on it to hear it. to actually listen to it. then to see the name and remember what it Looked like#i got teary eyed. sorry.#it happened quite. afew times when finishing this shitty thing#i was thinking of how camren's not quite corpse looked as if it were reaching out to him inside the container#how it looked as if she had wings. abrams words. the line from one story that was--#something like 'we were hoping it was just one big prank and she would hop out fro. around the corner with a smile on her face'#how do you move forward when all you think you cause is pain? when everything else youve done only brought to bring people you love to thei#downfall and demise inside agony and fear as they lay dying. none of that was merciful. none of that was just. they were told to carry on#her dream and he views as if all he had done was to become cruel and wasnt fit and never even began to finish what she started.#it was so striking to me. the language he used. sleeping. alseep. waken. when all the others never sugarcoated it#in lobcorp they always said it straight. 'suicide' 'killed' 'dead'. but he used something far more.. peaceful? kind in wording in a way.#softer. describing death as if it were a merciful thing. an end that suits them and not something to be afraid of. to just... sink. to slee#to be with carmen again. to put everything to an end#the place they built with their hands. to have it just... stop. not in a way of repeating and staying in the moment#but of a permanent end. to 'sleep'. to die. to just.... stop. forever. to see no more. to do no more#to not be able to do Anything for when ever he had done Something it just cause agony. cruel hands partaking in acts he so deeply#regrets. everything is just regret. it sounds nice. to move on. to just move forward. but how can you move forward when all you think you#bring to those you cherished and couldnt leave behind is pain?#ill likely move this somewhere else as well. ive been meaning to talk about abram#the rest as well actually. mostly just the few final days w abel adam and abram since i am STUCK ON DAY 49#oh dear i uh typed a lot in the tags. oops
38 notes · View notes
corrodedcoughin · 2 years ago
Text
little story about little Eddie and his 2 new friends | word count approx 2.5k | general audience rating | steve and eddie are kids and Wayne is a pushover
Wayne sometimes thinks it was a mistake, not taking in the boy. God no, he would never think of Eddie as anything other than an important and intrinsic part of his life, couldn't be without him, wouldn't want to be. 
No, what Wayne worries about is how his readiness to help Eddie feel loved might contribute to the boy's difficulty in making friends.
It was an innocent enough request, Eddie asked for a pet as all young children do. He was so small and so wide eyed, just a scrap of an 8 year old with more feelings than he knew what to do with. Wayne knew he'd never hold up against any request Eddie made but he liked to pretend to himself that he could. And while technically he never pandered to the boy, yes Eddie usually got what he wanted but in a way that suited their means. Or so Wayne tells himself. 
8 year old Eddie asked for a pet and a pet is what he got.
-
Eddie barrelled into the trailer door, backpack swinging off his arm and ready to be thrown into the corner. Planning to shoot off back out the door to do his usual; lift up rocks and inspect whatever bugs he could find, to grab sticks and imagine them as wizard staffs, to let his imagination finally run wild after hours of sitting still at a desk under too bright lights and too busy class rooms. In truth he wasn't really paying attention to the insides of the trailer, expecting it to be the same as always. It took a very pointed cough for Eddie to register that Wayne was unusually home from work, far earlier than normal, and a further loud clearing of the throat for Eddie to pay attention to what Wayne had placed on the kitchen table. 
Right in the middle of the table, sitting in a beam of sunlight, was a cage and in that cage was what would soon become, Eddie's very reason for being. He crept up close, almost as if scared that any sudden movements would prove the whole thing to be a cruel illusion. He was brought out of his reverie by a pink nose wiggling at the bars, whiskers attached and twitching as the rest of the rat appeared.
'is he-? is he for real?' Eddie said with a gasp, hands inching towards the door of the cage. 
Wayne had to suppress a laugh, trust this boy to be bowled over in wonder at a rat as if it were a puppy. He opened the contraption of the enclosure door and dipped his hand inside, allowing the rat to climb onto his palm. The guy from work assured him that this one was the most tame he had, inquisitive to a fault and oddly enough, desperate to be handled. Quite honestly, the perfect match for his well meaning but excitable nephew-near-enough-son. 
'Yeah, yeah kid it's for real. And he's a she.' Wayne lets the rat sniff at Eddie's hands, little pink hands finding a platform on Eddie's palms, clearly holding himself a still as possible but if Wayne knew this boy, and he did, he knows that Eddie is so close to vibrating out of his skin, that containing that much excitement must be killing him. 
'I don't care. Wayne, I don't! Can she sleep in my room? Does she know tricks? Can I teach her? What does she like? Can I take her to school? Please! Wayne!' He's started now, words pouring out of his mouth, tripping over himself to try and release every thought entering his brain at lightning speed.
'Woah, there' Wayne says pulling the rat up, cradling it in two hands, 'We got to be kind to her alright? She's only small. Doesn't know what loud noises are good and which are bad, okay?' He watches as Eddie nods vigorously, eyes never leaving the creature. 'Now you promised me you'd look after a pet so that's what's going to happen. She is your responsibility. That means cleaning, feeding and loving, got it?' Eddie nods again, tentatively reaching his hands up, the image of Oliver Twist springs to Wayne's mind. 
Wayne comes around the kitchen table, crouches down to Eddie on creaky knees and hands the rat over, filling Eddie's small hands with a heartbeat and fur. Eddie giggles, watching as the rat surveils the new patch of skin its found itself on. 
'Tickles, Wayne' and its said with such love and devotion Wayne almost feels his heart break 
'Yeah son. She does, doesn't she?' 
-
 Of course it takes less than a week and Eddie and Sam are inseparable. As soon as Eddie gets home he's itching for his furry friend, delighting in the way she scampers around the room, over his arms and anywhere she can get. No matter what though, she always comes back to him. She can be digging in to a particularly interesting crevice behind the couch but she'll always come running back when she hears Eddie make a noise.  
The thing is, Eddie is a pretty lonely kid. Not for lack of trying, don't get it wrong. Eddie tries to socialise he tries to talk to the other kids in his class, get them involved in his imaginary games and play pretend but being the new kid doesn't really do him any favours. Being the new kid that lives in the trailer park and a penchant for biting to show affection does him even less. 
To Eddie, its him and Sam against the world. He can come home and know that his best friend will listen to all his problems, will stay close and won't run away even when he's extra loud or being 'a lot' as his teacher like to tell him. He's so tired of being told to use his 'quiet hands', his 'inside voice' and every other subdued phrase they try to press on him. 
This particular day was a hard one, Sally Winters had said that Eddie was 'bad luck' and the word quickly spread around by recess. Eddie had thought he was making some progress with a couple of kids from the class, was thinking today might be the day that he finally got asked to play but that hope quickly got squashed. He had hopped up to the potential friends with a stick in his hand and a notion of being a pirate when they both looked at him like he was a monster, they couldn't get away fast enough. And Eddie couldn't find a place to hide quick enough before the fat and heavy tears fell from his eyes. 
It was a long day and home time was his only saving grace. 
Wayne knows somethings up, can tell in the way that Eddie isn't even really talking to Sam, hardly looking at the Tv despite the fact that Wayne very purposefully had put the cartoon Lord of the Rings movie on. The sure fire fall back he liked to keep in his back pocket. The trump card to get his kid happy. This time though? No luck. Looking at the kid makes a chasm open up in his gut, deep and full of overwhelming sadness that he just wants to stop, wants to find the solution to make this boy smile like the sun again. They don't talk much for the rest of the night but Wayne makes sure to stay close, stay awake in case he's needed. Eddie spends the time between dinner and bed sitting on the floor, side pressed up against Wayne's leg and playing fetch with bits of Wayne's whittling with Sam, not a word said. 
-
Eddie wakes up the next morning with a plan and a devil may care attitude. Oh so carefully he maintains his usual routine; says good morning to Sam, carts her around the trailer as he washes his face and wanders into the kitchen, placing her in her secondary cage so she can eat breakfast with Eddie and Wayne - Eddie was adamant that they couldn't have meals without her, 'she's part of the family!' and soft hearted fool Wayne Munson agreed and an additional cage was sourced. 
When breakfast is finished Eddie begins his usual rigmarole of dragging his feet to get out of his pjs and into his clothes, reluctant to grab his bag and go out the door. Same old protests as Wayne watches him walk out towards the school bus. 
What is a new addition to the routine though, is Sam Munson hiding up the sleeve of a school boy and about to go on a secret and very dangerous mission. A mission to survive the school day. 
Surprisingly, Eddie manages to keep Sam secret, keep her safe, the whole morning. He came prepared with snacks to make sure she was entertained and happy, he couldn't stand the thought of her being sad, her eyes get so big and her tail droops as well as her ears, it makes the whole of Eddie ache. But no, she's happy, or happy enough at least. 
So the morning goes without a hitch, Eddie making noises to cover up any squeaks and keeping a hand in his pocket to reassure Sam, stowed in the pocket of his hoodie. He knows he's seen as 'weird' so what's a few extra noises? They are let out for recess and Eddie breathes a sigh of relief, thinking this is his time to let Sam out, knowing she's desperate for some fresh air. Sure, she's peed in his hoodie pocket, but he can't really tell with it's dark colour and the layer of t-shirt between the wet material and his tummy. 
He runs off to his usual corner, stuck between a bush and a tree and gently tips Sam out of his pocket, she scampers around his feet and gratefully accepts a broken off bit of cracker between her hands.
'Thanks for coming with me Sam. Everyone is so mean, its so stupid. I don't care. You are a better friend than any of those losers' He crouches down, hoping to find a twig to play fetch with. A game that he delights in, is immeasurably proud of her for learning it so quickly. 'Gonna find you the best stick Sam. Promise. Best stick for the best friend' 
He continues muttering to himself and doesn't notice that he's getting progressively louder after finding a twig and beginning the game. Doesn't register that he's drawn unwanted attention with his happy shouts and encouragement until a body is crashing through the shrub he's hidden himself behind. 
Sam doesn't notice either until the unexpected form is right in front of her and she bolts, running as fast as her legs will carry her and Eddie is right behind her, muttering under his breath as he trips over his own feet in an attempt to catch her 'oh shit oh no oh no oh no' He's pushing himself as hard as he can but it doesn't count for much, he never was the fastest. He keeps trying though but then a faster body is accelrating past him, in a evident bee line for Sam. 
Without thinking, Eddie lets out a painful 'NO!' terrified of what might happen.
He knows people think rats are dirty, thinks they don't deserve love and don't deserve life. He doesn't want to imagine what this person's intent might be. Sam reaches a dead end up against the wall of the school and the body, the boy, stops infront of her. Scoops her up? Cradles her into his chest? Eddie...Eddie doesn't know what to think, he's prepared to fight this kid but then the boy is looking up at him with curious hazel eyes. Stroking Sam's head gently and with intent.
He holds Sam out, careful with his motions, trying to blow his brown floppy hair out of his face without disturbing the animal in his hands 'is she okay? is she yours? did I hurt her? she looks okay, is she?' Eddie gingerly steps forward and plucks Sam out of the boys hands, gives hera thorough inspection as the other boy continues 
'I didn't mean to scare her I swear! I didn't even know you had her! I won't tell, I swear I wont! You know...you shouldn't really have a rat in school. If I promise not to tell can I play with you? I'm Steve' 
Holding her close, Eddie squints at the boy, at Steve, and thinks. Thinks about how he looks nice, about how soft his hair looks and how he asked Eddie, Eddie!, to play, that he didn't give him a wide bearth and that he held Sam with such care. It isn't even a hard decision.
They spend the rest of recess together. Eddie shows Steve just how smart Sam. That she can play fetch, that she can run across one arm to the next, over your shoulders without losing balance. That she can twitch her whiskers and it seems like she's laughing at the joke Eddie tells her. That she laughs at the joke Steve tells her! Steve learns that she's named after somebody called Samwise and it doesn't matter that he's a boy because Sam is brave just like Samwise and smart and cares just as much. That Sam is Sam and Eddie is Frodo and together they can take on the world. 
Steve asks if he can have a name too and Eddie calls him Legolas, doesn't tell him why. Doesn't say that Steve reminds him of the pretty elves described in the books Wayne reads out loud to Eddie. It doesn't matter, not really. 
Recess ends and they shuffle back to the school doors, both of them lagging behind the others.
Eddie steels himself, knows he has to bring his misfortune up so that he can own in, so that his new friend doesn't find out from someone else. 'I'm bad luck you know. Sally...she said it. now everyone wont talk to me. I wont be mad if you don't either. I've got Sam. We'll be oaky! So you can just go, I don't care!' He knows he's getting wound up, he can't stop himself. He just wants the bandaid ripped off so he can start feeling sad quicker, get it over with sooner.
Before he can register is, Steve is wrapped around Eddie in a flash of a hug, careful to keep his tummy away from squashing Sam. 
'Not bad luck to me. See you tomorrow Frodo' Steve whispers next to Eddie's ear and shuffles through the school door. 
Eddie is in a daze of joy and happiness, thoughts rumbling through his head but none of them sticking as he journey back into his class room. Pure happiness radiating out of his body, he takes Sam out of his pocket and holds her up to his face 'Sam you made my bad luck go away!' kissing her on the forehead as he hears his teacher scream 
'EDWARD MUNSON IS THAT A RAT?!'
-
So Wayne thought the already unpopular kid having a rat would make things worse. Turns out, he was wrong. Very, very wrong. He might have to start pocket inspections before school though.
--------------------------------------
also on ao3 if that's the preferred reading format for you
487 notes · View notes
littlestkoi-n · 9 months ago
Text
My weirdest headcanon is that at the end of 4th year Remus bites his leg off during a transformation. It's the first moon after his mum's funeral so he's extra distressed and the wolf isn't having it. Pomfrey is terrified when she finds him all mangled and cold from blood loss, and it's the first time James, Peter and Sirius aren't allowed to see him right away. Pomfrey magically sews his leg back together, of course, but like all his werewolf injuries it doesn't heal quite right. Now Remus has to hide his newfound limp to avoid suspicion. It makes Severus question him even more than before though, especially with Professors making up new excuses for Remus' absence after that since, you know, his mum's illness can't be a reason anymore. It also makes James, Peter and Sirius work faster on their animagi master plan cuz "bloody hell he chewed off his leg!"
62 notes · View notes
uberoll-oystercrackers · 8 months ago
Text
Tumblr media
my fail girl could beat up your fail girl but first she needs to change her shirt
Tumblr media
uncolored sketch jumpscare btw
56 notes · View notes
ghostatrandom · 5 months ago
Text
It fills me with rage how can people be such fucking hypocrites when it comes to defending third world countries, WHERE THE FUCK IS YOUR SYMPATHY FOR THE LATINOS AND ESPECIALLY FOR THE VENEZUELANS WHO SAW HOW LITTLE THEIR VOTE COUNTS IN A COUNTRY CONTROLLED BY A DICTATOR
You cannot pretend to care about Palestinians while trashing Venezuelans, just shows how little you actually care about the lives of people and how much you take a political stance as a be all end all of morality WHICH IS JUST A RESULT OF YOU BEING UNABLE TO SEE AND CRITIQUE THE DIFFERENT PARTIES OUTSIDE OF WHAT FUCKING COLOR THEIR FLAG IS.
I'm Chilean, so I have met Palestinian and Venezuelan refugees and inmigrants. Let me tell you they would be DISGUSTED by your hypocricy and performative activism. If Israel claimed to be a leftist country you would no doubt support them even with all their crimes against humanity.
46 notes · View notes
shadyvoidhologram · 2 months ago
Text
I was laying in bed overthinking, as you do, and started to go on a depressive doom spiral. And then, to distract myself I started thinking about the things I like.
[Spoilers and some gross details incoming, you know what Mouthwashing is about]
So, eventually I started thinking about Curly being in a similar headspace as I was, laying down, incapable of doing anything, constantly in pain and hearing time and time again how quickly things are going to shit and that it's all your fault.
Him replaying his mistakes over and over on his head, imagining the many ways things could've gone a different way if only he had done something instead of ignoring the issues to "keep the peace".
Remembering every interaction that led to the accident, Anya's confession, his friends poorly disguised resentment, him ignoring and filtering details of his crew's mental state, her taking the gun, the notice, Jimmy.
Him being a coward and disguising his hate of confrontation with the guise of being a good friend.
And then comming back to reality, to is burning flesh. To the blood, shit and bile staining the bandages, robe and bed, to watching and hearing his friends suffer and die, unable to do anything.
When the kid dies, in the midst of all the emotional chaos, he feels some sick sense of relief knowing that probably Swansea will deal with both of them quickly and it'll be over at last.
Then Jimmy finds the gun.
And he can't help but laugh. He remembers the conversation they had and he cackles bitterly because not even in death can her wishes be respected. She trusted him and he failed her even after she was gone.
Soon enough it's just the two of them left.
Through muffled ears he hears Jimmy rambling, talking to himself, asking questions and answering right after, he sees him moving the bodies around. When Jimmy carries him from the infirmary to the common room table he's still as stone, not a sound leaves his mouth, he doesn't look at the bodies thrown on the chairs around the table, he doesn't even breathe.
But all of Jimmy's attention, hatred, idolatry, and envy are on him only. Eyes glossy, cut pieces of a one sided conversation and a tentative smile on his lips when he reaches for the slightly dented knife.
He screams until his lungs close and his throat burns. When he's fed parts of himself he cries and throws up until he is forced to swallow and keep it down.
He's dehidrated, half delirious from the blood loss and emotionally checked out when Jimmy picks him up and tells him they can still fix this, he knows what to do. That he's going home.
Sure, he thinks, he wants to go home.
When he's placed on the cryopod he just stares at Jimmy talk to himself at him some more, about being heroes and everything being all right now. Then he steps out of sight.
It's on the silence after the loud bang when his brain starts working again, he's completely and utterly alone on a crashed ship of a company that's closing it's doors, with a now depleted shipment that wasn't even important enough to guarantee a search party, and no way of fending for himself in the case of 20 years passing and no one coming, even less if the power gave out before that.
As the cryopod finally starts to cool, the few tears he has left fall from his remaining eye.
He hopes he doesn't wake up to see what happens next.
..ok see y'all when I wake up-
23 notes · View notes
madamescarlette · 2 months ago
Text
🫠
22 notes · View notes
thegreatyin · 17 days ago
Note
How did you manage to handle not one, but FOUR separate accounts in fl? I recently made the account for my HD little guy but having to do the tutorial again just seems miserable
there's... weirdly several answers to that question, actually??
a HUGE part of it is due to the way FL is structured. the 10-minute action timer is a core part of the game on a fundamental level, and the fact that i can very easily run out of stuff to do on one character and thus have an excuse to quickly and easily swap to another is just... convenient? satisfying? i'm not entirely sure how to explain it. the fact that i can make progress even while i am fundamentally simultaneously Not Making Progress is like pure dopamine for my freak insane awful little brain. there's just something really pleasing about spending all of my actions pursuing The Goal Of The Day™ on one account before casually swapping to another and doing the same without feeling like i'm wasting time or acting to the first account's explicit detriment. the downtime helps! the recharge time helps! the structure really really works!!
i'm technically only actively playing three, maybe two accounts minimum. the only reason the fourth (the one that'll be my future BaL playthrough) currently exists at all is so i can get his earlygame completely out of the way now and not have to waste time running through it all later, when what i actually want to do is play the ambition i've made myself wait a full year to play. and also getting free goodies as seasonal stuff happens,, something something surprise tools to help us later. the only two accounts i'd say i'm really "actively playing" at the moment are caeru and lark- and of the two, lark takes the most priority, since his ambition is the one i'm currently pursuing in earnest. for a couple months now- despite being My Main FL Character- the scoundrel has actually been pretty inactive on a gameplay front outside of the occasional progression in TLC and discordance content. purely by virtue of having Very little left to do outside of Very long-term grinds and vanities. they're in their "now what?" "now you can start playing the game" era. they've graduated to previous protagonist background cameo in a sequel anime series. they're like the yin FLPC equivalent of red at the top of mount silver. they're Literally just vibing rn. i only keep posting about them regardless because i'm insane and i will never ever ever ever ever let that bat go. but yeah, big TLDR, outside of doing the bare minimum to keep making waves/notability up every week, i'm not actually spending that much time on accounts i'm not currently actively interested in playing. and that accounts for way more gaming spoons than you might think.
i have a virtually lifelong history of playing MMOs, especially and specifically world of warcraft. i was born in the endless grind for useless video game pixel vanities and/or bragging rights. molded by it. you all have merely adapted to doing the same piece of content a pointlessly excessive amount of times for literally no reason besides whimsy and folly. me? i've done my time. i've served my sentence. i've spent weeks doing the original burning crusade netherwing dailies. i've devoted days to running praetorium over and over and over again, back-to-back, nonstop, long before square enix cut it in half and made it NOT take at minimum an hour and a half per run. i've perfected my silverwastes + auric basin goldfarming strategies. i've (almost) crafted dragonwrath tarecgosa's rest. i've killed the sha of anger so many times its dying scream of agony is embedded into the very fabric of my being. ""only"" doing making your name content four times over? that is nothing to me. it means nothing to me. it is so infinitesimal i can do the persuasive seduction quests in my sleep. it's not a matter of handling misery, or having the capacity, or even sighing as i remember the brass embassy raid segment of the watchful questline seriously i don't know why i keep forgetting that exists or what even is my problem with it i just am so consistently mildly inconvenienced by it and its highly specific resource requirements and it is the worst thing ever. maybe i'm just so used to the scoundrel's near-infinite money and troves of disposable items that i've completely forgotten what being poor is like. despite having done that step 3 fucking times now. ahem. anyway. i have transcended the feeble mortal bindings of my resistant-to-grinding flesh and ascended to a higher plane of enlightenment, they may call me insane but they will be the ones left laughing when they see what that "insanity" has wrought, i've usurped them, i've usurped them all-
hacks and coughs and awkwardly clears my throat. i mean. uh. um. Ahem.
the empress' court artistry + tales of the university nerfs helped too.
#and yes#before you ask#i have forgotten which account has which items/has done which content many a time#i think the most painful incident was forgetting to keep up the scoundrel's making waves while i was still playing nemesis with caeru#given that im trying to build it up to 12 and reset their specialization... that was uniquely painful#then again they have like 40 BDR so it wasnt actually that inconveniencing lmao#fallen london#ask#long post#sorry for the infodump + sudden villain monologue.#all jokes and personal accounts aside i totally get the apprehension abt doing that stuff again#it's not for everyone. not by a long shot.#im only doing this because im genuinely invested and in love with this silly little browser game#and way back when i started i made a (only half metaphorical) solemn oath to experience all of its ''main stories''#and truly see everything it has to offer#(bc i like. physically cant do hyperfixations by halves. i need to consume Everything abt the thing or i'll explode)#(and even then i'll probably explode anyway. it's either completely drop it or go All In until it stops taking up so much space in my brain#(and. given the track record. that is not happening with FL for a while yet)#but like. that isnt actually normal behavior. just. just to clarify.#from what ive seen a VAST majority of people do not go out of their way to play literally every ambition#and that is so valid. it is so overwhelming. you have to juggle so much.#you have to play the earlygame So Many Goddamn Times.#(as i said. served my time. did my sentence. i am my scars. etc etc)#the best advice i can give as someone who's so completely desensitized to that repetition it doesnt even phase me anymore?#the same advice i can stress to all FL players. legitimately just take ur time with it. play when you want to.#dont when you dont.#sometimes you have to grit your teeth and bear things. and when it comes to alts you Will have to grit your teeth and bear it all again#but the beauty of this being a game that one plays for fun is that unlike. say. crushing deadlines or annoying coworkers in real life#you are completely within your power to decide when where and if you want to grit and bear it all#..wow this is ADVANCED yin rambling holy shit. i actually reached the tag limit. i think this ask should be put on some kind of list
16 notes · View notes