#idk if this system would really works irl

[tamiisnthere]

Crossover Universe - Gepardia Town Lore

I have to say it was a bit of a chore to describe the town/city, but I enjoyed it I confess. Although I feel like it's not quite perfect as always.

The important thing I have to say is that visuals are concepts, because I have no idea exactly what this town and coat of arms should look like yet. Should there be something missing or you've got some idea, feel free to tell me. 😊

Enjoy! (⌒_⌒;)

Concept Coat of arms:

(made in Armoria by Azgaar)

About the town:

Population: around 4000, but the number is gradually increasing

Area: 20.43 km2 (square kilometres) | 7.89 sq mi

Highest Elevation: 131 m | 429.79 ft

Racial diversity: The most common races are humans and night elves, who make up nearly three-quarters of the city's population. In smaller numbers are trolls, dwarves, gnomes, orcs, taurens and several others.

History: A few residents from the capital, Ashte'quel, decided to leave and find a new home in the southeast as the city began to become overpopulated. A small group wandered through Wildebeest's Plains, struggling to survive. They were fleeing from lions, hyenas and occasionally theropod dinosaurs and finding water in the barren savannah was difficult.

One night a giant cheetah (Acinonyx pardinensis) came to their camp, and amazingly, unlike the other predators, it was friendly to the travelers and guided them to their new home. It helped them find water, food and safe places to camp.

The journey took 38 days, the exhausted travelers made their way through the Cheetah's Valley to the coast where was the best soil for growing crops and they settled there. But after that the cheetah disappeared and no one ever saw it again.

Travelers mourned over it and in its honour, the Czech artist František Burian named their new home Gepardia and built the statue of that giant cheetah that still stands in the town square today. Since then, in general, the cheetah has become the sacred animal not only of Gepardia, but also of the whole island.

About 380 years later, a queen of Havaykia named Inya Lunabloom proclaimed Gepardia as a town.

Architecture: The architecture is similar from the Middle East and Africa (mainly Morocco, Kenya, Ghana and Tanzania). Thanks to these types of buildings, residents are simply protected from the great summer heat. It's mixed between medieval and modern architecture.

Culture: The culture in Gepardia is diverse since many immigrants are living there. Most of the residents are huge nature enthusiasts and educate the public about conservation. Districts and quarters of the town are named after recently extinct animals from Earth. Festivals such as the Lunar Festival, which is mainly celebrated by night elves and taurens, and the Day of Freedom, which celebrates their liberation from the wars and cruelty of their former homes and worlds.

Cuisine: It is very diverse, but some of the favourites are Asian, Italian and Slovak cuisine. The most popular dish in town is the Slovak dish: Egg-coated bread in several ways.

Religion: It's diverse, but there are mostly atheists and believers who worship Mother Nature. The Night Elves believe that Thansuokria's moon is their goddess Elune from Azeroth, who is watching them. The bodies of the deceased are cremated to ashes, which are placed into urns and placed in underground cemeteries, which some incorrectly call catacombs. In late autumn, relatives of the deceased go to visit their urn. Havaykians believe that souls are indestructible and live forever in their own afterlife world and can travel through all universes freely.

Sport: Badminton and baseball are the town's most popular sports. The National Badminton Championships are organised every year. Gepardia's most famous baseball team is called the Swift Turtles, who have won the National Baseball Three-Week Tournament four times, which is played every three years in the late spring.

Transport: There are no cars in Havaykia, instead there are animals like horses, sabercats and dinosaurs that are suitable for traveling on land. They either are mounted or they pull carriages. In the town they walk on foot or take the train, which has tracks above the ground to avoid accidents. The seas are traveled by boats and ships (obviously). The newest added transport is the subway, which resides underground of the island and travels quickly and safely to distant towns and cities. There is no cost for transportation at all.

Criminality: Although Gepardia has the lowest crime rate on the island, there are still issues. Alcohol, cigarettes and similar drugs are very limited and gambling is strictly illegal in Gepardia. The guardians of the town are called Sentinels, who mostly solve problems like good cops without violence, but are still armed Kaldorei soldiers. Unfortunately since the Assassins and Templars got into Gepardia and the Sentinels were replaced by the Templar Knights, the crime rate has gradually increased as the two factions fight each other there. The prisoners are taken into the capital, where the prison is guarded by the Wardens.

Other informations:

The financial currency in Havaykia are cooper, silver and gold coins.

In general Havaykia and Gepardia strive to enable inhabitants to live a healthy and happy life.

Politicians and civilians are legally equal, and if a politician has extremist views at the polls, they are immediately voted out.

Healthcare is not paid, most doctors work for the passion of helping others, but of course they are paid by the government as long as they do an excellent job.

The maximum working time is 6 hours and 4 people per 24 hours. Taxes and insurance are paid only once a year and surprisingly it is not expensive. Wealthy residents have a so-called financial limit for example they can have a maximum of 100,000 golds and the extra is donated to poorer households and charities. This prevents unemployment and homelessness.

Ads don't exist at all in Havaykia because it's annoying for everyone.

Map and additional information:

Made on Medieval Fantasy City Generator by Watabou

Xerces Blue Butterfly Wood: Meadow park, which is named after an earth-extinct species of blue butterfly. Mostly it is a resting place for locals and tourists, but during the holidays there are festivals.

Nightjar Market District: Named after a small nocturnal bird that just happens to be common on the Earth, but some believe the district is actually named after a critically endangered (potentially extinct) species of nightjar called the Jamaican poorwill (Siphonorhis americana). This is a popular place to shop in the town, where farmers and traders sell their quality goods. There is also an assassin bureau where Altaïr and Malik work.

Thylacine District: Named after the extinct carnivorous marsupial. Although it is the smallest district of the town, the richest residents live there. The isolated building in the south of town was once an orphanage, which later moved into Giant Gecko Quarter. Badminton tournaments will be played in the southern part of the district.

Passenger Pigeon Park: A forest park where there are actually huge flocks of passenger pigeons and other species of pigeons and doves.

Gepardia Fortress: Home to the Mayor and their family who is protected by walls and Sentinels. That's where the lawsuits happen. It's the oldest building in the town.

Giant Gecko Quarter: A quarter named after the largest species of extinct gecko. There are kindergarten to high school, children's hospital and later orphanage.

Golden Toad District: The largest district and named for an extinct toad. There live most of the residents and hotels and pensions for tourists. There are the best restaurants, interesting monuments and a hospital. Naya and her father Mayur are living there.

Baiji Harbour: A harbour named after a possibly extinct freshwater dolphin. Ships transport resources into and from the capital, and tourists travel here. It was at this harbor that the Assassins stepped foot on Havaykia's land for the first time.

Gepardia Museum: It's built in front of the town square and contains the University of Natural Sciences and the administration.

Map in 3D:

Made on City Viewer by Watabou

Mayor Nythelar Evensky:

"This new town is not built for money, power or rulers! But it's only built for its people!"

Nythelar Evensky was born in Falahnaar to a night elf mother and human father. Since childhood he was bullied by the other Kaldorei children since he is half elf and half human, but still he believed that he in one day change society for the better at least somewhere else.

In his early twenties, he moved to Gepardia, where he immediately fell in love with the place. Years later, as Gepardia was becoming a town, he campaigned for mayor. He promised a better future for the residents of the newly formed town, and he won the election as a result. After that he fulfilled all his promises and for that the people of Gepardia respected and loved him.

Only years later, Robert de Sablé and the Templars arrived in the town and warned the mayor of the assassins who planned to kill him and take over Gepardia, heading for a dictatorship. This made Nythelar paranoid and he had no choice but to allow the Templar's guards to patrol the town so that they could protect the civilians while the town Sentinels guarded him in the castle.

Yet he doesn't realize he made a mistake…

[yourlocalxenomorph3]

am i the only one who's like. not that impressed with minecraft's next update. like..... yaaaaay, new wolf colors. cool. a new pain-in-the-ass skeleton variant... wooooow....... can you please update and fix the core features of the game that already exist instead of adding new features that aren't connected to anything else that less than half of players are going to utilize

[speedydestinydream]

Tmf isnt very accurate in many ways but I like to think that one of the main accurate things rosy nailed was the fact that the jomies have been bullies for years and still haven't been (onscreen) punished and not even stopped. You'd think that after middle school to junior year of highschool the school would notice and stop them for good, but guess what! Nope!

[dread-knight]

Why do you have to write a story for other people to see it I feel like my brain is being stretched in twenty different directions with all the shit I want to make but low energy & not enough time & my own sense of shame makes it so that I’m not doing anything. Gahhh

[hostilecityshowdown]

interesting that "trench" deleted his twitter full of neo nazi followers, wiped his instagram, and removed all references to bring a "proud trench wolf" from what little social media presence i can find. this is after his original twitter was seemingly deleted and remade a few months before his debute. i don't know how legitimate this reporting about him being "out on injury" [before wrestling at all or really... doing anything requiring much physicality?] is, but if there are some company conduct/social issues at play i would Not. be surprised

[kindacreepy-kindaugly]

I really don't know if I'm strong enough

I know lettin him do the shit he does just makes me worse n that effects everyone

I don't know if the system even has a way to keep me away from him if it's not a choice I make n I just can't force myself to make that decision

I tried but it scares me so fucking much I'm just. Frozen.

I'm sorry I really really am. I hate that the things I do effect others. I also know apologizing doesn't mean shit n at some point it becomes just another burden. I don't know how to do anything different.

[skitskatdacat63]

And what if I said I agreed with Plato about philosopher kings? What if I think he was right!?

[catlvrmax]

RACE DAY & NIGHTCLUBS.

MV1 X FEM!READER

summary it's race day! you and amara decide to spend your sunday night out in the city. you make new friends in the process.

cw ONE use of [Y/N] - it was inevitable. idk the deets of how f1 works exactly, but i tried. this is a work of fiction: i don't know these people irl, i don't know how they act. NON-DESCRIPTIVE READER.

face claims girls on pinterest, but you can obviously disregard them, and imagine whoever you want. (the pictures are for aesthetic purposes.)

a/n i feel like the alonso scene is kinda useless but idk i put it in ite.

masterlist | taglist

—

"I'm so excited!" Amara squealed as you grabbed her wrist to keep her close.

Today is race day. You woke up early, buzzing with anticipation. Amara tried to (poorly) contain her excitement and constant giggles until you had at least one cup of coffee in your system but failed ten minutes into breakfast. You don't blame her—she loves the sport.

She also loves the drivers. Loves the gossip and the drama on and off track. A new thing she has picked up, one you really want to put a stop to, is teasing you about a certain Dutchman. It was already bad enough that your conversation kept replaying in your head, and her playful teasing increased the thoughts of the two-time world champion.

You tolerated it on the walk to the circuit, rolling your eyes at her dreamy sighs and romantic scenarios, which she mostly made up to annoy you but changed the subject as you approached your destination. You refused to look or sound like a crazy fangirl in case... well, in case of actually running into him.

Arriving at the circuit and checking in the paddock had been a nightmare. You and Amara were not huge fans of crowded places you more than her, and the heat of the sun beating down on you made it ten times worse. Alas, you finally found yourselves away from the masses and around the corner of the Aston Martin hospitality building.

Amara was not paying attention to where she was going, and you were listening intently to the plans for the day. At the last minute, you saw a green shirt from the corner of your eye. You pulled on her wrist, and she stumbled towards you, but not before softly colliding with the side of the tall man in the green shirt.

"Oh, shit. ¡Lo siento, señor!" The apology comes in Spanish. (I am sorry, sir!)

"Esta bien, señorita? I was not looking in my path." You try to catch your jaw from falling to the ground when you eye the Green Shirt Guy. (Are you okay, miss?)

That's Fernando fucking Alonso. Fernando Alonso, the man you may or may not have a tiny crush on, is helping Amara stand up after she bent over to grab her discarded water bottle.

"Ah, si. Lo siento, señor Alonso. Estaba mostrando a mi amiga alrededor—"

"It's you from yesterday, no?! The girl with the great, uh, Spanish skills!" He talks to her as if they've known each other for years.

You stand there stunned, trying to compose yourself as your F1 crush stands before you, casually conversing with your best friend. Amara must be ready to explode right about now. You would laugh if you weren't fighting the urge to scream and run around from the joy.

You hear your name fall from Amara's lips, and your gaze focuses back on them. "That's my best friend. I gave her the hat!"

Fernando nods, his gaze on you as a polite smile causes his dimples to appear. You show him the signed Aston Martin cap by tilting your head.

"Amara said you are a big fan. I appreciate it. Do you want to take a photograph?"

"Uh-Yeah! Yeah, I'd love to!" You take your phone out. Oh-em-gee. Oh-em-gee. Is this really happening? "It's nice to meet you, sir!" You can feel the heat radiating off your cheeks.

Fernando, being taller than you, asks for your phone. He raises it above your head and takes a couple of selfies. You muster the brightest smile, copying his funny faces and poses. When he hands it back, thank yous stumble from your lips faster than any car on the grid.

"Mucha suerte para ti hoy!" (Best of luck to you today!)

Fernando laughs but bows his head in appreciation. "Muchas gracias, querida." He turns to Amara, who's watching you both with a smile. "Enjoy the race, girls!"

And with that, he's walking away. You and Amara stand still for a few seconds, watching him disappear around the corner. You lock eyes, jaws on the floor. Squeals escape the both of you as you grab each other for support.

"Oh, my fucking God! We just—I—You—"

"I talked to Fernando fucking Alonso, and you took a photo with him. Shit!" Her tone betrays her disbelief.

"Oh, pinch me, 'mara, because this can't possibly be fucking real!" You cup your red cheek with one palm. "He remembered you. That's crazy!"

Amara giggles. "We talked in Spanish yesterday, and he told me he was impressed by my fluency!"

You smack her arm, suppressing a smile. "What? Why didn't you tell me all of that!? From past experiences, your Spanish has been shit."

She gasps dramatically, feigning offence. "How dare you, missy?! My Spanish is almost perfect. I just happened to get nervous around native speakers!"

You laugh and raise your hands in surrender, muttering my bad. Amara links her elbow with yours. "Are you ready to watch twenty cars go in weird-shaped circles?"

"Yup," you answer, popping the p before pulling her towards the building you will be watching from. "He is hotter in person." You cannot help but add.

Amara rolls her eyes but hums in agreement.

—

"Max Verstappen wins the Spanish Grand Prix! Another flawless performance by the current World Champion!"

You can't help but smile as the camera cuts to his team celebrating. Amara claps in delight, gathering her scattered things from the table to put inside her bag. The VIP room you watched the race from is slowly emptying as everyone walks down to where the celebration will take place. Amara wants to go and get as close as she can to the front, so she can take pictures of the podium. Lewis Hamilton came second, followed by George Russell, and your best friend was beaming and eager to see the podium from up close.

"You don't have to come with me. It's pretty tight there, with the crew, and fans, and stuff." You nod, thankful to her for not forcing you to tag along. "You can wait by the Red Bull hospitality. I think it's closer to the exit." She pauses as you stand from your seat. "And who knows. Maybe a Dutchman will pass by, and you deliver on your plan."

You huff at her wiggling eyebrows. "Seems kind of impossible since Max is celebrating on the podium, 'mara. You have a better chance at meeting him." You snort at her deflated expression.

"Oh, yeah, you're right." She shrugs. "Well, who knows? You might bump into each other again."

"I highly doubt that. Now, give me everything you don't need. I'll put it in my bag. I don't want you losing anything in that crowd."

Amara hands you her handbag and kisses you on the cheek before walking away. You're the only guest in the room now, accompanied by the bartender on the other side of the room. You contemplate staying here or leaving for the Red Bull hospitality. The track fills with fans, as is the ground below the podium. Lewis and George are already there, which means that—

"Here's Max Verstappen, the winner of this year's Spanish Grand Prix." Crofty, the commentator, announces the champion's arrival at the podium's top step.

He looks handsome, with a smile decorating his face and high cheekbones glistening with sweat. He waves at the crowd and takes his Pirelli hat off. His hair is messy, but it just makes him look hotter. Wow. You need to stop, or you'll salivate all over the bloody floor. You turn away from the TV as the Dutch national anthem starts playing.

One thought keeps repeating as you walk out of the building and to the sunny paddock. Max Verstappen is undoubtedly handsome.

—

You're aimlessly pacing in front of the Red Bull building, skipping through the pictures you'd taken. Most of them were of Amara posing in front of different buildings, eating or walking. You don't notice a chest heading your way until it's too late, and you collide. Ouch, you mumble as you rub your forehead.

"We should stop meeting like this." You recognise the voice immediately. How could you not? The man has been plaguing your thoughts.

Your heart is racing. You don't meet Max's eyes at first, hoping that a simple apology will make him walk away. "Oh, sorry. Wasn't paying attention."

"Are you lost again? Do you need help?" Max is quick to offer, but you shake your head negatively.

A hand comes forward, a featherlight touch on your elbow. You finally meet his gaze, rubbing on the spot that stings. What the fuck is he made of? Rock? His eyes hold concern as they rake over your face.

"What are you made of? Rock or something? That stung!" You offer a shy smile and a joke, for his worried expression makes your palms sweat.

He returns the smile. "Hey! You were the one not paying attention."

You shrug. "I was looking through the photos I've taken." You raise the old camera for him to see.

"Oh, yeah? Any cool ones?" He asks, stepping closer to you to see.

You notice a man behind the driver, wearing a Red Bull polo and an impatient expression. Anxiety sparks at your chest. He's got somewhere to be. Leave him alone. "Don't you have media duties to attend? You did just win a race." His smile turns guilty at your words.

"Yeah. I've got to change from this," he points at his racing suit," and attend interviews." He doesn't look too excited to do so.

"Well, then, I shouldn't be keeping you." You move a step back, nervously glancing at the other man.

Max does as well, the flush on his cheeks bolder than before. He opens his mouth, and you watch him have an internal war with himself before he decides to voice whatever thought he has. He motions to the man to go ahead without him. I'll be there in a minute, he mutters.

"I'd love to see those photographs."

Your eyes widen in surprise, and you know you look like a fish as your mouth opens and closes. Your face heats up. "Uh—They're really nothing special. This is an old camera."

Max shrugs. "Why don't you give me your number? I can be the judge of that." Oh, shit. You nod.

He does an immaculate job of looking confident as if this isn't affecting him. A pretty girl agreed to give him his number. It's dangerous for a person with the number of young fans he has to give his phone number to a stranger, but he feels he can trust you. You haven't given him a reason to think you might be a crazy fangirl.

"D'you have a pen? I don't have my phone with me." You nod, rummaging through your handbag to find the emergency glittery pink pen.

Once you pull it out, Max can't help but comment on it. "Nice colour." You send him a playful glare.

He stretches his palm, and you softly pull his fingers closer. You scribble down your number, writing your first and last name underneath it. Max feels remorseful for not even having asked you your name. He knows that you no doubt know who he is now. He repeats it, and your breath hitches. He says it so perfectly, you might melt in a puddle. Caaaaaalm down. You sound insane. He's just stating your name.

"Pretty name," he thinks out loud. You don't believe you were meant to hear that, yet your face grows a shade darker.

Before you can say anything, the man shouts his name from the building's door. "Come on, mate! You're going to be late!" You can see the disappointment Max feels from his deflated smile.

"I have to go. Media duties." You chuckle when he rolls his eyes and nod. "I'll, uh, text you. For the pictures." He takes a step back, eyes locked with yours.

"For the pictures, yeah."

His face is flushed. You blame the race he just won. It's a poor excuse to give someone your number, no matter how famous they might be, yet you did. Amara will have a field day with this information. You half expect her to revive her old Tumblr account for the sake of acting on her scenarios.

"Bye." You wave, and he waves back, exchanging bashful smiles.

You watch his figure approach the man by the door when it hits you. "Oh, Max!" He turns quickly, eyes searching for yours. "Congratulations on your win!"

His eyes crinkle from the smile that he gives you. "Thank you!" He adds your name, and you don't deny it this time; Max Verstappen is extremely handsome, especially when he smiles.

—

MESSAGES: two. From > unknown number.

unknown number

hey, it's Max!

Verstappen. The guy in

the RB shirt.

you

hm... i don't know anyone

with this name. sorry!

max verstappen

Two-time world champion?

you

nope.

never met any world champions

in my life, sorry.

max verstappen

I helped you yesterday

and saw you today outside of

the RB hospitality.

This is [Y/N], right?

you

🤣 yes!

i'm just messing with you max!

max verstappen

*phew* had me thinking you

gave me the wrong number

you

*dramatic gasp*

i am NOT that cruel, mr verstappen!

btw, i havent transferred the photos yet!

camera's charging.

max verstappen

That's totally okay!

Soooo, what are you doing tonight?

you

contemplating whether i should share my

whereabouts with a random man....

max verstappen

HEY! you've met me!

two times already!!!

you

and how do i know this is the REAL

Max Verstappen????????

max verstappen

....you gave me your phone number.

you

oh, yeah. that makes sense.

i'm very sleep deprived haha

max verstappen

😂😂

you

Soooo, what are you doing tonight?

  ↪ to answer your previous question,

me and my bff are going clubbing

in Barcelona!

max verstappen

Oh, that sounds fun!

you

i'm secretly terrified of getting lost

in the city, but hey! i'm only here for another

night. might as well have fun

plus, i've heard Spaniards party hard!!!!!

max verstappen

plus, i've heard Spaniards party hard!!!!!

   ↪ THAT'S TRUE. Carlos is an

expert in all things nightclub when we're

here for the GP

you

you have any places to recommend?

amara is still looking on trip advisor

max verstappen

😨 TRIP ADVISOR?

you

WELL WE HAD TO START SOMEWHERE

max verstappen

the Vault is a really great place. Great

drinks and the DJ plays nice songs.

You should try that one!

you

i'm guessing it's expensive

as fuck

max verstappen

not as expensive as it is packed

BUT there's always the Disco Diva

and other clubs down that street

you

max verstappen, you know your

clubs, i see.

(the disco diva? really?)

max verstappen

you caught me ahahahahah

(the disco diva? really?)

   ↪ it plays really cool stuff

you

it plays really cool stuff

   ↪ i trust ur judgement.

so what are YOU, race winner, doing

tonight?

max verstappen

how do I know I'm not giving away

my location to a super crazy

fangirl?

you

you dont! YOU wanted MY number.

soooo.... 🤷🏻‍♀️

max verstappen

LOL. you're funny.

so what are YOU, race winner, doing

tonight?

  ↪ I was thinking of gaming, but the

boys want to party.

you

WELL, YAH! you totally deserve to let loose!

max verstappen

Hm, I might think about it.

Ha! Maybe we'll find each other in the club!

you

hahahahah it would be pretty embarrassing

if i ran into you again.

for the third time.

have fun with whatever you choose

to do, Maximus Verstappen.

max verstappen

that is definitely NOT my first name.

but i thank you, schat 😁

seen, now.

—

"Who are you talking to?" Amara asks, her eyes glued on TripAdvisor.

"H-Huh?" You barely register her words, fingers tapping on your screen incredibly fast.

"You've been giggling for, like, ten minutes now. I'm assuming it's not your mom. She's probably having lunch."

"Oh, you know. Just this guy I bumped into today. You might know him. His name's Max. Ma—"

"Fucking Verstappen?!" Amara all but yells, sitting up swiftly.

Your eyes meet her shocked expression, and you can't help the chuckle that escapes at her priceless reaction. You shrug in response, feigning nonchalance. Truth is, your best friend has hyped this guy up a lot, and your poor heart beats somewhat faster now that you're talking to him.

"You told me to get his number, didn't you?"

"W-Well—Yeah. But I didn't actually think you'd do it!"

You gasp as if offended. "You dare think so little of me? Think that I wouldn't honour my promise to feed your delusions?"

Amara laughs, lightly smacking your arm. "Okay, weirdo. Tell me what the fuck happened."

After pushing yourself to a sitting position, you tell her every detail of your second meeting with the world champion, including the texts. Amara's reactions are comical. At the end of your story-telling process, she's sitting there, with her jaw mere inches from touching the ground.

"So, do you think we'll meet him in that nightclub?"

You shrug. "I don't know. He said he'd think about it." You show her your phone, scrolling to the text he had sent you mere minutes ago. "Doesn't sound that eager to me."

"Well, it wouldn't hurt to go by the Vault, or whatever its name was." Amara wiggles her eyebrows.

"Are you trying to get me laid with a celebrity?"

She grimaces. "Pfft. He's hot. You're pretty. If you take out the millions on Instagram—" "—and his bank account." Amara shoots you a pointed look. "He looks like a pretty normal guy." She exhales before continuing. "You should have fun. We didn't come here just for me. And he seems like a lot of fun."

Amara wasn't wrong. Yes, you had come here for the Grand Prix, which was her thing, but there was plenty of time for you to have fun. And if fun meant drinking and meeting with an extremely handsome guy, who were you to refuse? You'd probably never see him again, either.

—

views 96 / views 242

—

"Finally!" You shout excitedly.

After waiting for a solid thirty minutes in a very long line outside of Club Vault and paying an entry fee that you're sure is way too expensive, you have finally made it inside. The place is flooded with people drinking, dancing, and talking. The lights are dim, and the music loud; a promising, fun night.

You barely dodge swaying on the dancefloor as Amara drags you to the bar. She orders for you while you look around. The DJ and his setup is on a balcony, above which there is a VIP sign. You squint your eyes as another face comes into view. Is that...Lando Norris?

You blindly reach for Amara, turning her around by the wrist. "Hey, isn't that Norris?"

Despite the ear-deafening music, you're able to hear your best friend's gasp. "Oh, my fucking God! Yes, that's him!" She looks at you, a knowing smile on her lips. "Does that mean that he's here—"

"I don't know!" The bartender nods at you, showing you your drinks. "Let's drink!"

And that's exactly what you do. Your drinks are cold enough to help with the heat of dancing, and you can't lie, Lando—with the help of the actual DJ—plays decent music. Max was right about the place being fun. Amara is doing her weird dance moves, and you're copying her, trying to best her.

You're two drinks in, back turned to the DJ booth, when your best friend's eyes widen, dance moves faltering, and you hear everybody cheer. She elbows you to turn around, and your breath hitches: it's Max. He's actually here with Lando and the DJ. And your heart is racing with excitement. He waves at the crowd below, and everyone cheers louder.

Your lip twitches as an idea forms in your mind. Taking your phone out of your boot (an extremely smart and safe place to hide it—if it fits—btw), you snap a picture of the champion, sending it to your chat.

—

MESSAGES: two. To > max verstappen.

you

one file attached.

just found your lookalike!

max verstappen

THATS ME! WhEere are yoU?!?!8@

you

how much have you had to drink? lol

max verstappen

not drunk .

just shvoing past poepel to get to you

where re uoy?????

you

by the bar

max verstappen

real helpful

you

im wearing black?

seen, now

—

You wait a couple of seconds for the grey bubble to appear. When you don't receive a response, you shrug, putting your phone back in its hiding spot. Your gaze focuses on Amara; she's biting her lip while holding two shots in each hand.

"I stole them!" is all she says.

Your jaw drops, and you giggle, accepting the tiny glasses. You yell cheers before chugging down both of them. Tequila. Nice.

You take a step back, eyes blinking away tears caused by the burn in your throat. You don't realise you've stepped into someone's toes until a shout almost bursts your eardrums.

"Jesus Christ!" You yell, covering the side of your head.

Turning around, you're faced with the one and only; Max Verstappen, holding on to the bar railing with a pained expression. Your eyes almost bulge out of your skull.

"Oh, shit! Are you okay?" You can barely hear yourself.

He nods, throwing a smile your way. "Yeah, I'm good! It's nice to see you!" You're barely able to read his lips.

A pinch on your lower back startles you, and you turn around with a gasp. Amara's standing there, expectant, wide eyes moving from you to Verstappen.

"Oh, Max! This is my best friend, Amara!"

She smiles politely, shaking his offered hand. "Nice to meet you!" You wonder if she's close to passing out from internal fangirling.

His eyes return to you. "Hey, you wanna join my table?"

Shaking your head with a confused grimace, you shout. "I can't hear anything you're saying!"

"What?!"

"I can't hear any—"

It's futile to communicate this way, he decides. Max's slightly cold hands are suddenly pulling on your wrists, gently guiding you closer to him. Goosebumps take over your entire body, forearm burning as he moves his fingers to your elbow, keeping you steady, and he leans toward your ear.

"Wanna join me and my friends?" He feels your breath hitch and pulls back to meet your hesitant gaze.

"We don't want to bother you," you say once you pull him down.

Max shakes his head. "Nonsense! I won the race, and I want to celebrate with my friends."

He hears your breathy chuckle. "We're friends, now?"

"Unless you're some super crazy fangirl I should be worried about." The smile in his voice gives away his amusement. He's quoting his texts.

You pause for a second. Knowing Amara, she would agree immediately. You should have fun, you recall her words from earlier. And he seems like a lot of fun. Yeah. She's right.

"Let me ask 'mara." You point to your best friend, awkwardly standing by the bar.

He watches you talk in her ear, a smile forming on your best friend's lips before she eagerly nods. "You're coming?" He asks once you approach him as if he hadn't been staring at you already.

"Okay." As soon as you nod, Max's smile widens, eyes shining.

You nod, and he feels his cheeks hurt from smiling so hard. "C'mon," goosebumps raise on your exposed arms as Max grabs your hand. His hand is so soft. "I don't want you getting lost." The wink he throws your way only fuels the flush on your neck and cheeks.

It's definitely going to be a fun night.

The walk to the VIP section is extremely difficult, with Max getting recognised and patted on the back every few seconds. When you finally make it, you sigh in relief before Max pulls you both by the wrist to meet his friends. Be cool, you mouth to Amara who only nods, wide-eyed.

"Pierre and Kika, Charles and Alex, this is [Y/N] and Amara!" You're sure they can barely hear him over the loud music but wave at them anyway. Charles shares a look with Pierre, the latter unable to contain his smile.

Max leans down, his nose brushing your temple. "Wait just a moment. Lando's around here somewhere." Before you can say a word, he flashes you a smile and disappears into the crowd, leaving you gaping like a fish.

You have no time to recover when the pretty girls approach you. Alex introduces herself as Alexandra, but she doesn't mind going by Alex. Kika's name is Francisca, but she goes by Kika. It's nice to meet them, and you don't hesitate to tell them so.

"Shots?" Amara reappears with four shot glasses passing them to each of you. "Cheers!" You clink your glasses before downing them.

"Oh, are you doing shots without me?!" A new voice pops up from behind you. Amara's eyes widen momentarily, meeting yours in poorly contained excitement.

You turn, gaze landing on Lando Norris and then gluing on Max Verstappen. This lighting makes him look even hotter. Is it normal to be thinking that? Probably not.

He introduces you to the tipsy-looking Brit, who shakes your hands in return. Amara's pulled to the side by Kika, something about doing more shots, and Charles motions for Max to go over to him. Once you're alone with Lando, a smile breaks onto his face.

"He's said a lot about you!" Your brows furrow, confused.

"What? That I tend to get lost easily in big places?" You nervously laugh, but Lando just shakes his head.

"Somethin' like tha'!"

—

views 120 / views 218

—

You haven't had this much fun in a while. You and Amara usually go to two clubs as a duo, but you admit having more people to dance and do shots with is way more fun. You're usually the sober one, having a higher tolerance for alcohol than your best friend, and this time you're extra careful since you're in a foreign place.

At some point during your dance battle with Kika and Amara, you grow tired. As much as you liked exaggerating your moves, your boots were made for walking, not jumping. Max had been out of your vision for a while, and you decided to look for him. He wasn't hard to find, considering he was nursing a drink on a couch further away from the action.

"Hey!" You plop down, bumping your elbow with his.

Max grinned. "Hey, stranger. Are you having fun?"

You nod excitedly. "Your friends are really nice." He snorts at that. "No, really! Drive to Survive does justice to none of you!"

Max's eyes widen, mouth hanging in shock. "Your source of information is a Netflix show?"

"Hey! I had to start from somewhere. I knew next to nothing about racing."

Conversing with Max comes naturally. He's funny, and he listens to what you have to say. He asks about your job: a photographer for brands. He laughs when you tell him you prefer the make-up brands because they're easier to manage than people.

He explains racing to you in simple terms. You nod along, trying your best to take in the information. It's harder with all the music and dancing bodies, but you make it work. You've shuffled even closer to him as Max leans down to talk directly in your ear while his hands move animatedly in front of you.

At some point, the conversation shifts to cats. You're delighted to learn that he has not one, but two big babies. Jimmy and Sassy. Max is a very proud cat dad, you conclude, from the excitement that exudes from every pore of his body as he slides from picture to picture.

"Oh my goodness! They're so cute!" You try not to literally squeal as Max stumbles upon a picture of them napping on his chest.

"They sleep all day and ask for treats all night." You laugh as he rolls his eyes, probably recalling every time this has happened.

"Oh, I'd love to meet them one day. They look lovely!"

"Yeah, I could introduce you someday," he says, and you turn to look at him with a huge smile.

"I should bring my Cheddar when it happens."

"Cheddar?"

"My cat. He's a big fluffball." You reach for your phone, unlocking it to search for pictures of your orange cat.

"And you named him Cheddar? After the cheese?" He looks at you incredulously.

You giggle at his expression. "He's as orange as the cheese. It was my mom's idea to name him that."

You turn your phone his way, showing him a selfie of the fluffiest cat Max has ever seen on top of your shoulders. You're clearly giggling in it, a hand over your mouth. Cute, he thinks.

"He's adorable."

"And fat," you add.

Tapping a most recent picture, you show it to Max. Cheddar is on his back, his fat ass making him look like a pear. Your mom had sent you this just a day before.

"He's staying with my mom right now. And she's feeding him more than needed."

"We should arrange a playdate." You chuckle at Max's suggestion.

"Sure, if you fly out to England."

Before Max can respond, a very loud and drunk Brit makes his way to you. Lando grins when he spots you two sitting close, indiscreetly winking at Max. Your face feels warm.

"Do you guys wan' t' leave?" You barely make out his words.

Charles notices the three of you and pulls a dancing Alex with him, who pulls Amara with her. The three make their way to where you're seated.

"What are you guys talking about?"

Lando turns to him. "Are you hungry, mate?"

Charles shakes his head, leaning close to Alex to ask her the same. She also shakes her head with an apologetic smile.

"I am!" Amara nudges Lando, and his eyes light up.

He turns to Max and you. "Me and my new friend," he pulls Amara by the shoulders, and she drunkenly stumbles, "are hungry. Will you take us somewhere to eat?"

You look at Max, who mirrors your smiling expression. Lando says something about Max promising to be his chauffeur if he got too drunk.

"I could eat," you shrug. Max nods, agreeing.

He stands up, looking at the drunk pair. "Okay, let's go."

—

views 68 / views 95

[ taglist @alexmarie29 , @angelfreckless, @algae-tm, @chonkybonky, @lovely-blackinnon, @namgification, @taygrls, @ssprayberrythings, @ilove-tswizzle, @leclercdream, @halleest, @yaesflorist, @liafterhours, @mrsbrxkkxr ]

[thebibliosphere]

Hello! A long while back (it's had to have been at least a year at this point), you and Mothman came into where I worked with the lovely miss Holly Mop (she had fur stuck in her eye and was squinting it; we rinsed it out and sent her home). I recognized her from your blog, but didn't know how to say I knew you and read (and loved!) your work without it being awkward, since things like legal names automatically come up in our system, and I didn't want you to be worried about it? But I've (1/3)

also felt bad since then about not telling you because idk, I feel like you deserve to know if someone Recognizes You from the blue hellsite. So I guess I just wanted to say: you and Mothman were very lovely, and Holly is genuinely the cutest shih tzu I have ever seen irl and that is saying smth bc I have seen a lot. I also made a point to make myself forget everything else from that appointment, so I also have no idea who you are beyond your pen name. (⅔)

Sorry if this worries you at all - it was absolutely not my intention, I just feel you deserve to know. And I’m sorry for not telling you at the time that I recognized you. I do not expect a response from you at all, I just wanted to let you know, especially if it makes you uncomfortable and would want to block me for it ;v; I hope you have a fantastic evening, and thank you guys for being so kind to your veterinary staff. (3/3)

----------

You're going to laugh when I tell you this, but if you're who I am thinking of, when you took Holly Mop away, I turned to Mothman and said, "I think that person knows me. Or maybe they've just got Tumblr vibes. I think it's the hair."

So if you are who I think you are, you have great hair, and thank you so much for taking such good care of Ms. Holly.

She normally comes out of veterinary rooms traumatized, and our visit to see you at [redacted] was the first time that didn't happen.

It was one of the reasons we signed ourselves up for the waiting list to move her primary care there, which we just have! Holly is now an official primary patient where you work (provided you are still there), so if you see us in the future, please feel free to say hi! (if you want to, no pressure) It makes us feel better to know she's in safe hands with people who care about her and who don't set her anxiety off.

And also, please don't feel bad about not saying anything the first time around. It can be hard to walk up to someone -- especially at your job -- and be like, "I like your shoelaces" (though it has happened to me a couple of times at Target, Walgreens, my hair stylist, lol) and don't worry about knowing our identities. There's a handful of people on here who know my legal name vs my preferred name -- all we ask is that it not get posted anywhere.

Thank you for letting me know though, and thank you again for taking such good care of Holly Mop. We really appreciated it, and you made her feel so much better. 💖

[royallygray]

@periwinklepaint

Here is a scene I wrote for an au (that I really need a name for bc it dominates my thoughts).

Bit (a lot) of background on this AU: It's supposed to be a superhero/urban fantasy/soulmate au. Everyone has some degree of magic, they just have to learn to harness it. All soulmate pairs are the canon ones from Double Life.

Scar (Hotguy) and Gem (Fauna) are heroes. Grian (Chaos Sparrow) is a vigilante. Pearl (Scarlet) is a villain. Jimmy is just a civilian, but he's a victim of the prophecy (basically just the Canary Curse).

It was supposed to be Scarian mild annoyance to lovers and Gempearl enemies to lovers, but it has gotten more focused on the:

Scar & Gem besties relationship,

the Grian & Pearl chaos skyblings relationship,

the Grian & Pearl & Jimmy & Lizzie skybling/seabling relationship,

the Scar & Pearl depression villain arc relationship,

and Gem & Grian's sibling dynamic.

At this point in the story, our four main characters (Gem, Scar, Grian, and Pearl) have made a deal. The higher-ups at the Hero Corp want to interrogate Scarlet (Pearl) for information because she's not only the primary villain of the city, she's also the leader of the underground, who are presumably the people who want to assassinate Jimmy (if he dies, it's basically Ragnarok). Pearl does not have control over individual people or groups in the underground, she just runs the system.

The Hero Corp wants Gem and Scar to retrieve Pearl and bring her to them. So Gem and Scar set up a meeting, since there is mutual trust between the four of them.

The conclusion was that they could take Pearl, but Grian would take one of the heroes as collateral so that he could ultimately get her back. They decided to exchange Gem rather than Scar because they knew that Gem is the Hero Corp's precious baby and they'd be desperate to get her back, which ensures Pearl's release. Additionally, Scar's magic is incredibly strong since he's a fae. He has a natural advantage that bypasses some of Pearl's talent in magic.

So he places a curse on her that can only be broken if Scar chooses to break it. Basically it prevents her from flying (she's got wings, so does Grian), getting out of range of Scar, and the curse includes the ability to control whether the person the curse is placed on can talk or not, but Scar refuses to utilize it.

Also since Scar is a fae, he can't lie. But he does have a silver tongue that easily gets around the lying factor. Also he doesn't know that he and Grian are soulbound. Also Gem doesn't have a soulbound. Also I'm really insecure about posting this like I think it's cool but maybe other people won't think it's cool but an IRL friend really liked it but idk and I did write this all on discord because I needed to explain the scene to said friend and it was going to be easier to just write it and AAAAAA

okay here are some words of scar being a badass byeeeee

-- --

The Hero Corp keeps insinuating that Scar is working with the villains. They keep insisting that he break more and more of his morals to find more stuff.

And finally, he just goes "Do you want a villain? Because I can give you one.”

And it's dead silent.

No one says shit.

Gem's apprentice, Guqqie, is there with their jaw dropped.

Scar's usually green eyes are glowing red.

He's angry.

"It seems to me that you want a villain," Scar says, his voice echoing in the silent room. "I can give you one. Isn't that what you want?”

No one says anything.

Scar's red eyes burn into the side of [boss]'s skull. "I thought you wanted a villain.”

Some people are staring at him. Some are trying to get out of this room. Some are trying to ignore what's happening.

"Did you not want a villain?" Scar asks. "I don't appreciate lying.

"I can't lie," Scar says. "I'm not sure if you know this, but I cannot lie. I feel like maybe you'd extend the same courtesy for me.”

"Do you want a fucking villain?" Scar snaps. "Or are you just unsatisfied with me having boundaries? Not liking how you compare me to Fauna and wish I got taken instead? Realizing that Villains are people too?”

It wouldn't've been terrible to be taken by Sparrow (Grian, Scar thought with mild wonder. A beautiful name. His heart fluttered, despite the situation), but the thought still stood. [boss] didn't know that Sparrow wouldn't hurt him.

"Don't you want a villain?" Scar asks, quietest yet. "Don't you?" More silence. The clock on the wall ticks. Scar can hear his heavy breath in time with his heartbeat. "Well, I'll give you one." He rips his hero badge from around his neck and lays it on the table. "I resign.”

And he stalks away, the explosion of "no!"s and "why?"s and "HOTGUY GET BACK HERE!"s blocked out by his mind.

And he walks up to his apartment, his mild haven here, and sees Pearl and Jimmy. He snaps his fingers, lifting Pearl's curse. She looks up in alarm, and Jimmy follows suit.

"We're leaving." Scar tells them, leaving no room for argument. "And we're not coming back.”

[confused-rat]

Okay, now I’ll be serious.

Ace Attorney’s criminal justice system is completely made-up, but with obvious influences from Japan’s own system. (It’s a Japanese game, duh.) In Japan, the conviction rate is insanely high — a whopping 99%. How do they keep such a high track record? Well, besides the fact prosecutors don’t really pursue cases they aren’t guaranteed to win, there’s also (surprised gasp) corruption! 🎉 ACAB is universal once again!!!

So why would a game series give a group of people who are irl shown to care more about their own winning statistics than the pursuit of justice the antagonistic roles? Idk Lilian, use some of those reading comprehension skills you like to complain about!

Of course, learning about how Japan’s government and laws work would be too much for her, she’d be a weeb then guys!

[apocalypsesystem]

Literally the evolution of how i finally realized I was a system.

> (Knows nothing about DID/OSDD. Never doubted it’s existence, just uneducated)

> (Diagnosed with PTSD at 11, BPD symptoms were really bad and I got diagnosed with it at 16 after years of persistent severe symptoms)

> “yeah I used to age regress when I was 12 but it was involuntary”

> (uses multiple different names and constantly changing names)

> (person I liked): “why did you suddenly switch up and act like a narcissist, you weren’t nice to me at all.”

Me: “I DID??? I’m sorry I don’t remember it and I don’t know why that happened”

> “Yeah guys idk I just relate so much to Yugioh and Fight Club and OKKO they make me cry a lot because of how much I relate to having another self you form a bond with and I know it’s interpreted a lot as DID but!! For me It’s in the bpd way!! 😋”

> (someone point out a comment I made) “why did you say that?”

Me: “oh my god you’re right why did I say that. I would never say something like that”.

> “do you guys ever think you’re talking or actively participating in the conversation only to realize all the conversation was happening in your head and not out loud?”

> (talking to irl friends) “guys do you ever like, work and then there’s conversations happening in the background commentating on what you do? I can’t remember what the conversations were but I know they happened”

Friend: “you might wanna look into OSDD dude”

> “guys why don’t we ever talk about the super relatable bpd experience of splitting but your splitting feels more like other selves trying to control you and one of them sounds more like your mom and the other sounds more like a child and sometimes it gets so bad that you start to get numb and get disconnected from everything?”

> (explaining OC lore at 16) So my furry OC lost someone close to him but can’t remember it at all. But then he meets the lost loved one again inside his head but doesn’t know it’s the same person he lost.

> (making a Yugioh oc) Im really having a hard time with this character because I want to project my bpd but like…. The character is super emotionally detached and apathetic but his Yami form is the opposite but kinda embodies everything I feel. but like it feels more like multiple different selves for me, like it feels like the character should have multiple Yami forms taking control and it doesn’t feel as authentic to merge it to just one since the responses are so different.

It was until someone told me to research structural dissociation that changed things for me. Big time.

> seeing a therapist consistently for a bit, heavily believing what we were dealing with was DID and wanted us to get officially evaluated. Still haven’t because we don’t have health insurance and those evaluations are literally like $3,000 god damn.

- ♣️

[sophieinwonderland]

Decided to do a little vent.

Honestly i hate how big of a deal fakers are for sysmeds, like i don't think they really exist?..

Like... No? Like, they're litterally not??

It's like fakeclaiming depression, autism, adhd, etc. Esp for young people and minors. and generally, pretty "childlike" escapists who are into cartoons and etc and not oversharing photos and irl life. People really assume that people who spend a lot of time on fiction really can't ever dissociate and don't want to escape reality... Somehow. Idk ableism aimed at young people is so unreal i hate it, because they're actually MOST vulnerable to all abuse, but get dismissed SO MUCH by everyone just because they don't share all shit happening to them.

I saw this soooo much for depression like "oh these kids are just faking and romanticize it blah blah" when they're litterally coping and express feelings through art... In a healthy way? Never understood it.

Ocdd isn't really so funny and normal, even accomodations aren't so great, to fake it, being system isn't instant +1000 followers as they think. If person wanted to roleplay - they may just make roleplay account. And like?.. Like fictives can't be into various roleplays and interacting more as original, because it's familiar for them, and safe in a way? We litterally have singlets in roleplaying community who are like "i actually always play characters that are litterally me because i can't really play as very different person", why fictives can't be like that too, and enjoy it? Just because some fictives don't, and now this is a standart for all?.. Roleplaying is quite badass healthy coping mechanism that helps to improve empathy and understanding of others.

Communications only become harder for singlet if they try to pass as disordered system, and it... Doesn't pay off??? At all??? Like????? The fakeclaimer's paranoia litterally doesn't do any good for any system, only make systems feel worse and ruminating about how their trauma must not be enough, imagined, and alters are just imaginery... They're formed to help, and you litterally may hurt systems by saying shit about them being imaginary, just as you may hurt adhd/depressive person by saying that they're just lazy and need to get over them, without any help, and medication are just placebo.

And faking real, horrifying disorder symptoms, actually takes A LOT of research and acting talant and skill, i would actually APPLAUSE to person who would play disordered system good and dedicate hard work to it. I would love to see actors and authors who are interested in research and can play various system characters, and conciously remember how memory in systems works, and don't get lost in it, and use meta-knowlegde for alters who don't have it. It may be easier to lose track when system live in one body, esp masking as singlet.

Solid take.

Really, the whole hysteria around fakers is largely overblown. The idea of mass amounts of fakers have always been a scapegoat used by ableist doctors to dismiss people with DID, but numbers have never supported this, and much of what people claim are signs of faking are just normal human variation.

[aprofessionalwithoutstandards]

on erasing medics sadism: i think the instinct behind it is like, not wanting your blorbos to be bad people .. but its an interesting philosophy to have for tf2 characters because literally all of them kill people for money .. like yes they would be bad people irl but theyre not real . and tf2 is a comedy . its just more fun to acknowledge their whole personalities rather than trying to make them the perfect innocent blorbo .. medic is a silly cartoon sadist and its fun and sexy . "free my mans . he did all that but it was funny"

Mhm! I've talked abt this before but tf2 approaches "morality" as a concept in a really interesting way, bc it wants to have like, "bad guys" but cannot define "bad guys" by "people who kill other people." In the post I made about that, I say that Medic tf2 is clearly meant to be "more evil" than the rest of the primary cast, but still a "good guy" in the framing of the story. Idk I definitely do not understand the desire at all to make Medic tf2, who is at this point an almost entirely comedic character in an almost entirely comedic game, Actually Secretly A Very Good Boy it's just boring! Idk I think it's good to engage with stuff on its own terms, tf2 has a different moral system than other works because it's a joke game with guns in it. The way I react to murder and torture with regards to something like, idk, Breaking Bad is MUCH different to how I react to it in tf2. Medic tf2 is a sadist and he kills people in uniquely Fucked Up ways and it was funny. It was really, really, really funny. Free him

[icedmetaltea]

Just lettin ya'll know I'm ok

(random irl stuff to journal below, keep scrollin)

Wanted to wait to come back till

1. I wasn't dealing with mega gender dysphoria, my masc/neutral days are few and far between but by god it's been nonstop masc/neutral days lately and been a lot of just hating my body (and myself in general)

2. got the ebt stuff figured out, which I haven't yet, my doc put in a ref for a different place to sign a thing, waited 2 weeks for them to call, only to find out it was the wrong place and now I have to wait for the next place to call... which like yea I'm worrying about food but talking about it in therapy has helped somewhat. She reassured me even if that doesn't work we WILL find some place that'll sign the form I need to be eligible again

3. I wasn't dealing with as bad of depression/anxiety which like... idk. I've definitely been doing better anxiety-wise but idk if that's bc it hasn't been as hot lately or I've been feeding myself better. I know I must've been eating under 1200s calories the past few weeks bc the scale finally stopped going down and I know for a fact my anxiety gets bad when I'm hungry so I think for about a month I was unintentionally starving myself, SO making myself eat at least 2 nutritious meals a day now

At the same time I think perhaps my pmdd symptoms are... reversing time schedules??? Usually my anxiety/depression gets way worse before period but now it seems like it's fine before and terrible during/after????? Makes zero sense but who knows. Also it's a couple days late now so health anxiety is going off the shits about PCOS or something again UGH

Making SOME progress with therapy, am able to be outside for 5 mins without feeling that horrific sense of dread so that's something.

I've also been coming to the realization that I may have some form of DID?? Not the type where you lose time/blackout/completely have entirely different memories and starkly different personality switches but I've definitely been noticing now that I've been putting more attention to it how I go into different "modes" and sets of interests throughout the weeks and I mean... it's not secret I have imaginary friends I talk to on the daily. I've had an issue figuring out where "they" end and "myself" begins since childhood. Plus I already deal with derealization/dissociation/occasional age regression so it's not out of the realm of possibility. May bring it up next therapy apt. Kinda worried to bc I never want to get rid of them and I'm worried that would be one of the goals, like... just no. I can't think of anything more lonely.

But yea just random stuff I needed to get outta my system, sorry about all the suicidal stuff, it's just really hard. The future seems so bleak. And if one thing sets me back, like doctor stuff, food issues, etc my brain is like "DEATH WOULD BE EASIER LOL" BUT there's a chance trump/a republican candidate won't win, a chance climate change will be reversed/humanity will adapt somehow, a chance I'll be accepted for disability and live a halfway decent life, and if not... well, we'll cross that bridge when we come to it. But for now there's food in the fridge, for now mom and dad are alive, for now we're ok.

[ming-sik]

Could you tell us more about your thoughts on the orphanage and what you hate about Rozemyne doing to it and if you were writing an au or something, how would you gix it?

my problem with the orphanage is basically what i said-- it's a company town. the orphans all have to work and they are unable to leave, plus the fact that they can be bought and sold as property; myne's "those who don't work don't eat" slogan being the first thing she says to them is pretty notable. at multiple points in the story, rozemyne hears someone saying that the grey priests are being treated too well, and her first response is to correctly point out that being an orphan means being a slave, which always ends up getting treated like an epic burn and is never followed up with "you're the high bishop, why are orphans treated that way?"

the story excuses this in a few ways. way one is that rozemyne is a nice master who pays for their living expenses/stops individual instances of violence or sexual assault/lets one of them one time decide if they want to be sold because she's worried about him being pressured into a marriage, way two is that the orphans are so grateful for this that none of them disobey her or demand better conditions, and way three is that ferdinand convinces her that this is just how things work and there's no point trying to change it which she accepts. also it's i think established that after hasse comes under her control the orphans there are allowed to become citizens after coming of age, but like the orphans who live in the temple are still slaves.

my main problem is that the idea of the nice slave master is an excuse that was used in real life to excuse actual slavery and the fact that it's so common in isekai including aob sucks, especially when the story explicitly endorses and argues for this being the best possible option, including saying that it's reasonable that citizens are upset that orphans are being treated better than them when they don't pay taxes which is the thing that convinces our protagonist. now the vast majority of the actual pro-slavery rhetoric comes from everybody's favorite character ferdinand, and the fact that it's in-story characters saying it could've been used as a way to establish that this is yet another horrifying aspect of life under feudalism, but instead it's treated as actually a very good argument that wins over rozemyne with its logic and then the story just runs with it and never touches on whether or not the orphans might be better off being made into citizens even when the improvement of the temple's image is a huge plot point and idk i think someone "going to the temple" not meaning they were becoming a slave might help that possibly, and if she really wants nobles to stop mistreating grey priests it could possibly help for them to be normal attendants that are being hired instead of bought and are citizens who it's illegal to assault might be more effective than very sternly telling them to be nicer.

also it's part of the thing aob does in general where it touches on an incredibly serious issue with systemic causes that is exacerbated by YS's society with characters being rightfully horrified by it.... before getting really scared of portraying the consequences of that in a way that might paint the good noble characters in a bad light, so an explanation is quickly invented for why the thing itself is actually super ethical because of another thing we just made up that means that it's different when they do it. many such cases. very weird to make a series set in a world that's repeatedly established to be this dark fantasy where the irl reasons that feudalism was a brutal, abusive system are outlined in detail that dares to focus on the commoners who are almost always ignored in favor of the glittery nobles, only to decide halfway through that glittery nobles are way easier to write about so you just have the protagonist join the nobility and retcon a bunch of reasons the world is fine actually.

as for how i would rewrite it, the most obvious fix is to have her free them. maybe ferdinand initially strongarms her into accepting it, but despite the other nobles telling her that she's a saintlike figure, the actual orphans, after learning that in hasse they become citizens after coming of age or just when they're more regularly exposed to the outside world, start to agitate for better treatment, no longer satisfied with being treated well by their master for now. if she doesn't, eventually some of them start to turn against her. she has to choose-- will she try to force them back into line, or will she put her money where her mouth is and actually fight for the commoners? and if she does try to make them citizens at their baptism or give them the right to leave the temple whenever they want or remove the barrier between the temple and the common people entirely(maybe allowing other people with the devouring to help the temple without having to leave their families), she should meet resistance! her trying to keep the commoners from being uprooted by the entwickeln would be an appetizer for this main dish, a situation where rozemyne is completely, totally unable to frame this as a weird pet project and instead has to try and convince a sympathetic noble character that a fundamental thing they've accepted is incorrect. i would have this be her and ferdinand's first real conflict, and an extremely difficult fight for her. she's right, but she has to overcome the fact that ferdinand is more confident, more connected, more mature, supported by the rest of the nobility, and just generally stronger than she is to convince him to help her, and in the process she has to convince the archducal family, all of whom are also against her. maybe she wavers at multiple points over whether or not this is even worth it and feels the desire to accept ferdinand's suggestions that she just crush the orphans who are rebelling, only stopped by the orphans themselves. probably have a named character be part of the rebels, i would go for gil and have him believe that myne's a good enough person to do the right thing, forcing her to deal with the weight of betraying one of her first genuine allies in the temple and someone she explicitly promised she would treat well. likely this would need a volume or two of rozemyne agonizing and things getting worse until a breakthrough where she convinces a powerful ally, idk she convinces giebe illgner who tries making the orphans citizens in his own province and it turns out well enough that it proves that both nobles and commoners can eventually accept the arrangement, and after getting the other paper-making giebes on their side, she has enough leverage to bargain with evidence. you could either have her successfully convince ferdinand or not. she does need to convince sylvester for logistical reasons, and generally this would be a moment in his arc of widening the divide between him and the abuse feudalism necessitates, but whether or not she convinces ferdinand would probably decide if he's getting a redemption arc or becoming an eventual antagonist, both of which could be neat if handled right. regardless it's important that the orphans aren't just a mostly faceless crowd of worshippers and are instead a group of people with their own needs and interests.