#idk if this is at all coherent but i hope it is

[chuellas]

Echoes of Silence | E is for Edging

⤷ Ft. Dazai Osamu

V. A. L. E. N. T. I. N. E.

Warnings | Fem!Reader, N.SFW, 18+ only, edging, slight mind break, unprotected sex, creampie, cockwarming, WC: 1k

A/N: Idk why but I struggled so hard with writing this one, I hope it came out just as well as the rest did <3

Dazai had been clingy all day, performatively so. You could sense that something was off, even for Dazai the dramatics were a little much. But trying to pry it out of him was never an option, so when he asked to come over you were simply resigned to accepting. 

It has been what feels like hours since Dazai came over to your dorm and each passing second is becoming even more agonizing than the last. Dazai is toying with both of you tonight. He was quick to strip you of your clothes and have his way with you before the front door even fully shut. His desperate hands exploring your skin with urgency.

Nightly visits like these usually only last about an hour, maybe two, but tonight is definitely different. It’s been almost three hours and Dazai isn’t letting either one of you finish. You’ve been on the edge for probably two and half of those hours and it’s torture. 

This is cruel and unusual punishment and it’s all Dazai’s fault. 

Every time one of you is about to come he slows down or pulls out completely only to distract you by kisses. His lips sear every inch of your body. Dazai gives you absolutely no time to protest or to rest. It gives you each only a few moments before he’s diving into you again with the same agonizing pace he’s set, slower and harder than usual. 

You're a mess, your brain has been turned to mush and the only coherent thought you’ve managed to keep intact is the need to release. Your ability to speak is in the same condition. Pleas of your need to release spilling from your swollen lips, but they fall on deaf ears because Dazai clearly has no plans of granting any of your requests. 

The brunette is too caught up in his own need to release. He isn’t just torturing you, but himself too. He can’t rip his eyes away from the way your glistening sloppy cunt sucks him in and keeps a vice grip hold. He’s not sure where the self control is coming from but he barely manages to keep this up. The only thing keeping him from letting you finally cum is the thought of having to go back to his dorm and spend the rest of this night alone with his own thoughts.

He’d be damned if he let that happen when your company is so, so much sweeter than his own.

Even now, your incoherent words sound like music to his ears. “‘Samu…’Samu, please. I can't- ‘s too much- ahh- I need to- oh my god- I need to cum, please, please…”

It’s getting harder for Dazai to deny you and he thinks he’s on the verge of giving in. Even so, Dazai’s movement instinctively slows down and you let out a hiccuped sob. He looks down at you and he really thinks he’s gonna lose all senses. You are a beautiful mess — a devastatingly beautiful mess. Your hair is matted down on your face from a mix of tears and sweat. Your eyes rimmed red from the amount of crying you’ve done. Skin flushed the prettiest pink color and marks littered your body, courtesy of Dazai himself. 

In the split moment it takes for the agent to admire you, clearly distracted, you wrap your legs around his waist. It’s your desperate attempt to keep him close and finally give you what you’ve been begging him for. As if Dazai’s conviction hadn’t already been crumbling, this was the final blow to send it crashing all the way.

Dazai picks up his speed and crashes his lips into your own as you both finally find that release you’ve been chasing for hours. Your room is filled with muffled moans mixed together and the wet sound of Dazai’s hips crashing into yours before stilling completely and spilling inside of you. Everything is dizzy and Dazai can’t form a single thought. His mind is filled with fog and his ears stuffed with cotton. Nothing is registering but the white hot pleasure pooling in his stomach and spreading through his entire body like electricity. 

His length throbs inside of you with each release of his seed that he’s pouring into you. The build up made his plummet last longer than it usually would. His whole body twitches, already hypersensitive and he hasn’t even completely finished inside of you yet. Dazai’s vision focuses and you’re in no better shape. Your eyes are still screwed shut and your body is borderline convulsing. The tight grip you have around both his waist and his cock keeps him from pulling away from you at all. 

When you’ve both come down, the brunette can’t bring it in himself to get up to clean himself and leave. Instead he collapses into your hold, laying face down into your chest. By the sound of your breathy chuckle and the way you begin to run your fingers through his hair, despite it being wet from sweat, Dazai can tell you’ve come back to reality. 

Dazai shifts, making an effort to pull away but the action is stiff. He doesn’t want to leave but he knows if he doesn’t, he will be overstaying his welcome. Your hold on him, however, doesn't falter and you let out a soft hum.

“Stay.” Dazai’s head shoots up at that and he just stares at you for a few moments. You’re visibly nervous and start to elaborate when you really don’t need to because Dazai was already sold by the single syllable. “It’s later than usual and I really don’t mind the company. Also your body must be exhausted.”

Dazai tries to widen his eyes in shock but the detective’s eyelids become too heavy for him to keep open anymore and he wordlessly resigns. His head drops back to your chest — this time he makes sure to make himself more comfortable on top of you. He decides to stay nestled in between your thighs even though he’s softened now. 

Dazai doesn’t respond, but he doesn’t think he has to, his body language is enough to tell you he’s not going anywhere.

[winterwhisperz-blog]

Ignore how this is my first hc in like…awhile

IM A LIL RUSTY PLS HAVE MERCY

So hi <33 it’s nearing Valentine’s Day which means “omg what would the ts lis do for Valentine’s Day??”

These are far from perfect but I hope you enjoy !! :D

Valentine’s Day In Eridia

Warnings: Rustyyy, a lil suggestive in some of them but nothing too bad, Ais is mentioned to be a lil depressed,and Probably ooc !!

Notes: Gn reader, fluff!

Mhin

Starting with my favorite hshshshs

Mhin isn’t one that usually celebrates things—they don’t see the point. They’re living in an apocalyptic world they need to survive not waste time on chocolates and the stress of making the perfect evening.

But then there’s you…and they end up doing a lot of ‘unnecessary’ things for you even subconsciously.

Despite their grumblings, they do end up finding out how to celebrate.

STAR GAZING !!!! Duh !!

Simple and sweet, just putting aside time for you two to be close and gaze at the night sky.

Butbutbut !! I had an idea !! That may be just utterly silly but I’ll try to make it coherent.

Imagine this okay !

Mhin goes to visit you, shoulders hunched as they try to avoid getting pushed around by the massive crowd. The music is loud, boisterous, too much.

And you realize that when you find them trying to withhold murderous rage in a dark corner.

You had wanted to try out dancing, but you know the crowd in the Wet Wick is going to make that impossible to enjoy. For either just Mhin or both of you if you also don’t like crowds.

So you go to your favorite spot instead. the place you usually watch stars at.

And idk ?? I always pictured that happening on a freaking roof because I personally want to hang out on a roof but you can imagine something different if you want.

The music can still be heard from below, but it’s far more muffled and bearable.

SO !!! okay if this is cringey spare me please LOOK AWAY !

Hem hem…dancing on the roof !!

The music is loud enough for it to not be awkward hshsh-and the moon is out, the stars are clearer than you’ve ever seen them

And it may be silly but it’s the good type of silly okay. The 3 am sleepover type goofy.

You’re having pointless fun. Dancing in a world that’s dying more each day. You’re both cursed beyond a known cure. But you, and surprisingly even Mhin, forget that for a night.

OKAY THAT WAS SUPER LONG MY BAD

Can you tell who my favorite is

Leander

the absolute OPPOSITE of Mhin

He goes ALL out. This is not everyone’s holiday anymore. This is YOUR holiday. His and yours. This day is about only YOU two now.

You open your door and his stupid face is already there with arms holding a mountain of presents.

“Omg how did you afford all this??”

HES RICH !!! STUPID RICH BOY

The presents range from chocolates to a new wardrobe. Especially couple outfits. Especially VALENTINES DAY SPECIFIC couple outfits.

If you’re not comfy with that tho he’d be okay with that too. “As long as people know ur mine it’s fine with me ☺️” *smacks him*

After presents he wants to carry you downstairs. (If ur taller than him you can carry him downstairs. Actually if ur smaller you should still do it. Leander scarf.)

The bloodhounds withhold their dread for the day ahead because he is DOWN SO BAD

Heart shaped breakfast

Pink drinks (don’t drink them)

Love poems

KISSES !

When it’s evening the bloodhounds bust out the violins and candlelight. (When someone goes out of key Leander smiles at them like: 🙂” and they get pulled from the stage.)

Then to finish it all off, he shows off his magic by conjuring a trail of rose petals that lead upstairs.

You wake up the next morning and Leander is like “): you still love me right? Even tho it’s not Valentine’s Day anymore right?”

Ais

Ooooo this is tricky

Ais is very emotion-driven, but he’s not great at expressing those emotions.

He may try to do something classy for you (by Ocudeus’s command because I love that vision)

But it’s obvious he’s uncomfortable and unsure, so you have to tell him you’ll figure out how to celebrate (if you even want to) this day your own way and not what is socially expected.

He mainly just wants you. He wants time with you, to feel you, to hear you and most importantly, relax with you.

You quiet his mind, and so all he really wants is your presence.

Mainly all you do is cuddle, eat together, have a romantic sparing match 🥰✨ and maybe even take a nice bath together.

He loves having his hair washed by you—maybe he even forgets to do it sometimes due to those unseen battles you know he has—and ahh frick I forgot we have cursed hands.

Maybe you wash his hair with your toes idk.

Or wear like those !! Rubber gloves !!

Point is

It’s way more natural with you guys. A domestic routine that you slip so easily into.

It’s a day without any stress, and focused solely on the two of you taking care of each other.

And of course, you don’t forget to get Valentine’s Day treats for all the soulless <33 (especially for Princess because duh)

Kuras

Another toughie!

I can’t decide if he has a hard time because he busies himself with work or since he’s had so many relationships since he’s immortal he knows to set aside that time

To make it easier for me let’s just say he busies himself.

He’s extremely hard on himself so I can picture him thinking he’s undeserving of even celebrating in the first place. (If we’re ignoring him making a cake for Mhin shshsh)

And maybe his heart is just tired.

He’s had lovers, he’s watched them go, and with you? You’re different to him somehow.

He doesn’t know if he should indulge in these feelings. If he can handle the heartbreak again.

Luckily you know Kuras well enough by now to see the guilt and doubt before it digs itself too deep.

With help from Ais, Mhin, and Leander (he inserted himself but also he’s a peacemaker between Ais and Mhin lmaohshs) you manage to convince Kuras to leave the clinic in those there’s hands and just focus on you two.

I like to think Kuras starts out more somber. He’s quiet. Only a small twitch to his brow warns of any building anxieties.

To set the scene more I kinda picture him like ?? As a calmer Julian Devorak in this situation ahshshs just in the way he’s like ‘do I deserve this?’

At one point you take his hands, “Kuras, Talk to me.”

He tries to deny it, to hide it gently and inconspicuously. But you know him. And the Angel can no longer hide his fear from you.

You take him somewhere quiet, where you can sit down and just enjoy each other’s company. Maybe you watch the sunset and like ?? You remind him that you aren’t going anywhere. Not now.

He spends more time just kinda cupping your cheeks, memorizing your face with caresses and soft touches.

When you get home, he wishes to memorize the rest of you too. If you have to become a memory one day, he wants it to be one that consumes him.

Vere

Thought this was gonna be tricky because vere is my ENEMY when it comes to these but !! I actually have a few ideas !!

Doesn’t see the point in sappy old VALENTINE’S DAY

What? You expect him ? A GOD a DEITY to lower himself to a pointless little human tradition?

“You can celebrate me everyday 🙄 why wait ?”

But you know it’s really just because he’s uncomfortable with the idea.

Similar to Ais, he’s more of ‘actions instead of emotions’ and this is a sign of commitment! And he’s still very unsure how to proceed with that sincerely.

And maybe even the day hits some sore spots—if the theory he had a past lover is correct —

He’s just scared. And hiding it by being snarky.

So just give him time to adjust. He does come around. Especially when you don’t start with anything too deep.

You write him small notes. Nothing too sappy but loving. Maybe you add a few puns you know he’ll laugh at.

But then…*evil laugh* after he’s been used to this, and is more comfortable in the relationship—

He spoils you soooo bad

Maybe he even goes overboard with it lmaoshshs.

He turns it into a whole week of just celebrating you. (Not as loudly as Leander, though. He wants to keep it secret so ya know—the Senobium doesn’t ruin it)

Spa day but inside, he wants to see you with any part of his clothes on. He’s far more touchy—he rubs his face on you like a cat HSHSH

And just a looot of time in bed. Doesn’t even need to be sexual, he just wants you close. His treasure. His his his his.

Im becoming a vere girlie and I’m so unwell

OKAY WE’VE REACHED THE END WOOO !!

I hope you enjoyed <33 if this was cringey….🥺 pls don’t murder me I’ll give you ten dollars

[xaeyrnofnbe]

i kind of love how chip jay and gillion’s individual inner conflicts can all be boiled down to dome variation of an an obligational loyalty to an original family versus the loyalty earned by a found family. (found family being the riptide pirate crew)(i’ve been writing this for a while and my initial statement is not so much the focus of this post anymore as i have begun to ramble about chip. do please read though, as i have words i’d like to share about chip and how his story differs from his co-captains and where i hope it’s heading.)

but they all are undergoing this conflict differently!! chip grew up with the black rose pirates, he idolizes them. he looks up to them and respects them because they’re the first ones who actually gave him a family. and in trying to get that old family back, he’s accidentally built himself a NEW family, one which he has loyalty to out of shared experience and bonding over the present day! and now he’s faced with a divide (mostly in his own head, since some of his old family is literally a part of his new one) between his old family, and his current one.

jay’s version is maybe the most literal and straightforward. her birth family, the ones who raised her, did so to shape her in a particular way. she loves her old family, but in attempting to right a wrong within it, she has forged a family on the opposite side of an entire war. both sides want the other gone and will stop at nothing to achieve their goals, but both are her family. this is understandably a very difficult thing for her

and gillion, he actually has a pretty similar that going on, albeit with a few more complications. he loves his old family (the undersea as a whole, since he never really got to be with his birth family) entirely out of obligation. they were cruel to him, but as their weapon he is meant to protect them. he grew up under the notion that those in the oversea are evil, that humans are nothing more than greedy and malicious. he’s seen that this is not the case, however, as he immediately found himself scooped up out of the ocean by a new family, one that encourages him to be his own person, rather than just a tool. his two families conflict not directly in real life (yet) but rather entirely in his own mid and perception of where his loyalties should lie.

jay and gillion have both stood up for themselves against their old family in some capacity, while still remaining loyal to some individuals. gillion denounced his ties to the elders that governed him, but still seeks out his older sister, edyn. and jay stood up to her father (one of the highest ranked individuals of the navy) in pure and violent defiance, while still loving and standing with her mother.

chip hasn’t really gotten to choose just yet. he’s declared loyalty to the riptide pirates and to his co-captains, but he’s still looking for arlin. he’s announced his decision, but he hasn’t come to face his choice head-on. captain rose and chey are dead, numerous individuals have been all but forgotten, drey and finn have joined the riptide pirates but aren’t the same as he remembers, and roofus, though an important figure in chips life, isn’t the ultimatum chip has yet to face. because arlin is still out there, beneath the black sea.

chip is chasing this ultimatum but i don’t think he’s going to find it, even if arlin is somehow miraculously alive down there, even despite representing this choice in chip’s eyes i don’t think he’s going to provide it. i doubt they’ll have much time together, if any.

chip won’t get to make this choice because there is no longer a choice to be made. there are no two sides to choose from, there’s just family. one family. the old and the new are now one and the same. but still there is arlin. the embodiment of an imaginary division. a nonexistent choice that drives this third of the story.

my best guess currently is that if the crew manages to find arlin, it will be in his last moments before he succumbs to the same fate as his beloved late captain. and i really, REALLY hope chip is the one who has to take what’s left of arlin down. because then he’d have finally come to terms with the truth of his life and his family. he will have made a choice without choosing between the people he loves, because on one side is his family, and on the other, all that’s left is an inky, dripping, gurgling, violent remnant of chip’s idolized past.

the choice would be hard for him, but there really is only one side left to choose.

[despazito]

You're not being a dick! The dog world can be very convoluted.

Most reputable breeders show their dogs, and honestly it's a red flag if your breeder doesn't do any kind of activities with their animals (doesn't necessarily have to be conformation showing, can be any work/sports or obedience eventing).

Usually most of their puppies will go to pet homes, and breeders occasionally pick puppies they really like for showing/breeding prospects or opt to co-own with somebody who will show the dog under the kennel's name. The amount of puppies per litter who have showing potential can depend on how successful the parents are in the ring and how sought after the bloodlines are, but even if they look right they have to have a good temperament to be handled in the ring, and it's not uncommon for pups to fail that training and just become pets. There really shouldn't be a drastic range in soundness between show and pet quality puppies within the same litter or kennel. Most pups do end up in pet homes, and all show dogs are also beloved pets that are often extremely spoiled and doted on!

All these puppies will receive the same care and upbringing show quality or not, although I will say there are instances of puppies being put to sleep for being born without signature breed traits such as ridgeless Rhodesian ridgebacks, but nowadays that's a fringe minority. A good breeder will want all their puppies going to good homes regardless of showdog potential where they will all hopefully have the best QOL.

As for being "better off" if they're closer to the breed standard, that really depends on the standard! Most standards are fine, but here's an illustration of an ideal English bulldog from the American EB club:

imo a dog bred away from this standard to have a longer snout and less bulkiness that has a lower likelihood of developing brachycephalic obstructive airway syndrome, a condition which hinders QOL, would be 'better' than one bred closer to standard. This is why I'm cautious of the assumption that breeding to standard=breeding to health, because a handful of standards straight up encourage unhealthy traits..

That being said, someone not breeding to standard and not showing their dogs really should have solid reasoning and an explanation of their goals as a breeder. Because folks who simply "want to breed pets" with random dogs are almost always backyard breeders who breed unsound dogs with dubious temperaments. If they aren't producing working dogs or have extensive history with dogs and are working on, say, an outcross project or trying to solve a health issue within their breed that involves straying from the standard I would be weary of them (and an intensively researched outcross project is not the same as simply breeding doodles, the breeder should have a rigorous health testing scheme for the parents and choose the cross based on more than just how cute the puppies will look and the catchiness of the designer name. if it sounds like they're pulling something out of their ass to justify the breeding, i would leave).

in theory, getting a puppy from titled showdog parents should be an assurance of quality. it shows the parents are even tempered enough to perform in a show ring with many other intact dogs and be handled and touched all over by the judges without any aggression (very green flag if you're looking into serious breeds known for being temperamental). but not all clubs imo have strict enough health screening policies, so sadly a champion parent is not an automatic guarantee that your pup is free of inheritable disease, some of which can be sadly quite nasty. in the very worst cases a breeder can even ignore their dogs hereditary issues because the dog is very pretty and wins ribbons, and you can't always count on club authorities to pull poorly dogs from the ring. this is why i think there needs to be more veterinary involvement in conformation judging and non-optional screenings to enter based on common health issues seen in the breed. you'd be surprised how lax some health screening criteria can be even in the highest rungs of conformation.

in conclusion, it really depends on the breed and the breeder. the best thing you can do is your own research, get familiar with common health issues in your desired breed, and ask your prospective breeder if they've done the proper testing. ask ask ask. a good breeder should be proud of their kennel and bloodlines, if they're cagey run away!!

[thecryptidbard]

ALSO can we talk about Hetty’s reaction after Flower tells her “You’re a good friend”???

Think about where she was at this point last year—having also just revealed a massive secret, one that almost irrevocably ruined one of her oldest friendships. She’d admitted in Ghost Court that friends were not something she’d ever had in life—something she hasalso just reiterated moments ago to Sam and Isaac, that one of the reasons she felt so trapped and alone and without options at the end of her life was because she had no friends.

Think about how far we’ve seen her come; in season one, it’s huge growth for her that after Jay’s possession, she admits to the other ghosts that she missed them. Or season two, how in a very un-Hetty move she’s willing to swallow her pride and apologize to Nigel (even though she’s sure she isn’t in the wrong!) for the sake of saving her friendship with Isaac. Or even earlier this season, how closely she’s clinging to Alberta in so many of the episodes, because she’s so grateful she got her friend back after being so close to losing her that she doesn’t even want to be physically separated from her.

And then now, she’s just once again revealed a secret she’s kept for well over a hundred years, in order to save Flower. She’s kept this part of herself from everyone for so long, and the very second she sees that Flower is securely out of the hole, she turns her back to everyone to gather herself and then bolts.

Isaac and Sam make her see that, yes objectively she has people here for her now like she never had in life, but Flower coming in and thanking her is when she actually gets to see and experience the reality of how different her existence is now. “You’re a good friend,” she says, and it might be the first time someone has ever said that to her. And Hetty just looks up at Flower so surprised in that moment, and so heartbreakingly hopeful, because I genuinely think that until right then, she really hadn’t considered it like that before; she just knew that Flower was in trouble and that she had to help her whatever the personal cost, because not saving her wasn’t even an option.

So much of the ghosts’ relationships, especially early on, were transactional, and, especially in Hetty’s case, built around enforcing particular power dynamics: accruing a wealth of back rubs, extorting Pete’s TV time before signing Elias’s contract, or any of the countless occasions she brought up her status as ‘lady of the house’. So the fact that she makes this sacrifice that feels like a loss of power to her is in and of itself big; but Flower acknowledging that, and making sure Hetty herself sees it too, by calling her a good friend—it’s a whole different level of meaningful.

She doesn’t just thank Hetty. She makes sure that she sees what her actions mean to her. And Hetty is so taken aback by it, because Flower saying this to her and meaning it is a gift she was absolutely unprepared for; a “good friend” is not something Hetty has ever known herself to be, up until now. But she very badly wants for it to be true.

[meteortrails]

zoro and nami are like if soulmates could also be two feral cats who’s favorite person locked them all in a bathroom together until they stopped trying to kill each other, yknow? they’re two people who’s MO is tough love and emotional repression trauma bonding over the experience of being loved by someone who only knows how to love people at max volume. they’re friends outside of luffy but their shared love and devotion for him is a gravitational pull that shapes their relationship. the understanding they share is one of knowing Exactly how mean and nasty and terrible the other person is capable of being, and thus also being able to look at them and say ‘you’re a heinous bitch but nonetheless this isn’t you. this isn’t something you’re capable of.’ and that specifically is so key to me bc it’s VERY different from the understanding they share w/luffy, but still presents in a similar way of making it impossible to purposefully push each other away. as impossible as their world gets, as insanely powerful as they each become, they’ll always be those two lost kids from the east blue wondering to each other how the fuck they agreed to this

[ash-and-starlight]

.

[gomzdrawfr]

Can we know more about Ghost with Raven? For those of us who are new here. 👉👈 I'm especially curious if Price is involved when those two are together, or how his dynamic is with the both of them if not. OT3? Do we throw Nik in there somewhere? Get all the poly going on? Or is it just Ghost and Raven against the world? 🤍

Hello!! Welcome to my lil ramble spot :3

I like to mix up my OC with the other characters for fun 😂 (imagine me holding them like dolls and smashing their faces together) and make things up along the way. So my uhhh explanations are gonna be wonkey

Rambles below! Kinda messy sorry!

GhostRaven started off as a separate thing, the idea was to explore something different like “these two are always fighting and cursing each other out but you mess with either one of them they will make sure you regret” or “I hate you so much vs You want to kiss me so bad it makes you look stupid” vibe, yk. I just like to make them bud their heads together. The other part of it was just wanting to see what two people who have fucked upbringing would behave in a relationship since Raven’s lore is based off of Ghost (well kinda)

I do have like, a whole backstory for GhostRaven like PriceRaven but I just never really compiled it or make it official because my brain could only get organized for one pair at the moment 😂 This itself can be a whole post which I’ll share next time if you are interested about it!

Tbh, I started off with GhostRaven first when I decided to make a cod oc, but because OC x Ghost stuff usually get targeted for no reason (on anywhere really, but tumblr is the safest among all the platforms I see) so I didn’t post much about them until much much later xD I got nervous doing PriceRaven back then too but eventually I kind of just went on and ramble about them once I felt comfortable enough :3 so for the longest time it was just PriceRaven or GhostRaven

Then I decided to spice it up with Price in it (PriceGhostRaven is thus born) (and also, Im projecting to Raven cuz I want Price and Ghost both HFHSHSHSH) There’s no real answer to the way their dynamic works but I did had a few stories? Or ideas? As to how the three of them became a thing? xD

I like to imagine Price and Ghost had a thing going on, and then Price went on ahead with Raven and Ghost was just kinda chilling, and then Raven found out their history and went “so what if”, Ghost goes “huh” and then Price went “yeah so are you in or not” and Ghost went “sure fuck it why not”— yeah HAHA Price is the one calling the shot in their relationship, Ghost and Raven follows (tho Raven can be a tiny bit of a brat sometimes)

The other part is GhostRavenPrice where it’s mostly Ghost and Raven ganging up and spoiling Price…imagine two grumpy growling wolf(GhostRaven) surrounding their owner(Price) - that’s the vibe 😂 I like to draw em in a way that both Ghost and Raven are possessive and insane with their way of “loving” another, and Price just went “ayt bet”

I haven’t consider throwing Nik into the party because I still donno how to feel about NikRaven yet :3 also because so far I’ve only ever done ot3 and never explored beyond 3 peeps. I did consider PriceGhostRavenJelly? (Jelly is another OC of mine shipped primarily with Ghost and Rudy) it might be fun to dabble on it sometime

I had, and will not consider ghoapraven xD but perhaps will consider ghoapjelly, but nothing’s for certain, entirely based on my mood LOL

But basically, the main ships that I do here are PriceRaven, GhostRaven and GhostJelly, and three of these ships have their own separate stories and they exist on different timelines. However, I like to mix them sometimes just for the fun of it (eg: PriceRaven that becomes GhostRaven and eventually PriceGhostRaven or PriceRaven double date GhostJelly)

Then I do other poly ships sometimes for fun, without any backstory or anything, just doodles

[bidisaster-peanut-romano]

soo hi everyone!! i'm back on my bully essay/meta/something writing!! sort of. i did this.

anyways anyone who's been on this page for some time know how from time to time i have insistently mentioned the parallels between lola and peanut, right?

welp! that was a joke but the time has finally come!! a super-pretentious essay just for the fun of it!! (and also bc i haven't been writing actually argumentative texts in like months perhaps a year, so. yikes, i really need to practice again)

word count: 2.2k WOAH. IM SORRY

i, in my corner, with my monstrous needs. — susan sontag, as consciousness is harnessed to flesh

take this quote both as a title and an anticipation of what is to come. the essay will be distributed analyzing first the dependence of each of them on johnny, to then draw comparisons. i'll make sure to steer as away from headcanons as possible, sticking closely to the source text. obviously, some things' interpretation might be ambiguous, but, you know. your usual occupation hazard.

also, a disclaimer before we start: while they are psychologically complex and there is always a mimetic intention in developing them, these are fictional characters, and, as such, their primary function is to be vessels for different themes, questions and so forth. therefore, i will prioritize meaning and themes over moral implications and similar elements.

i. peanut

for how much i can adore talking about him, the way peanut depends on johnny is very much on the nose; worn on his sleeve, even. in 11:11 minutes of voice lines, he mentions johnny 30 times.

many interpret this as the caricature of a boy crush, but i have reasons to believe it is much less cute than that.

the problem is that, really, more than trying to identify specific situations... peanut seems to rely on johnny for a significant part of what he does. when he does good at dodgeball:

Look at me, Johnny, look at me!

almost like a child calling for his parent's attention to be praised. he calls johnny's name when he's going through hardships, when he's scared or when he's sad.

more than someone he just loves, johnny is a point of reference. whenever there's something going on, whenever he does or has to do something, his first thought goes to johnny; vice versa, what johnny asks of him is his priority.

I gotta tell Johnny! No time. I gotta see Johnny now. Gotta help Johnny. What can I do next to please Johnny? I mean Lola! I mean…

(this also goes in a "negative" direction, envy being the other side of the medal to adoration. especially because, in some way, this reliance on johnny might be felt by him as emasculating, and, being johnny his model of masculinity, adding it to the napoleon complex thing, it's not hard to guess why it can be so unpleasant. we can see this manifest through some of the things he expresses in regards to lola- not as much an interest he has towards her, but the interest he wishes to have from her- which are a bit more different than it might seem at a first glance. but this is a mouseketool we'll need later. still:

Last time I saw her, Lola made eyes at me, not Johnny!

do we really need this part? heh. i'm not sure, but it's always good to point out)

(also, just because, for the purpose of this analysis, it might be useful to specify: while these sentiments are very much implied in peanut's canon quotes, we have no evidence in canon in what measure they are reciprocated by johnny. the fandom has universally agreed that johnny also views peanut as his Best Friend In The World; while in some measure, they must be at least a bit close, i think it is even safe to say, given the caricaturist nature of bully's characterizations, that johnny holds peanut in less consideration that peanut deludes himself into believing. quoting another post of mine, the kids who show some level of obsession towards their leader mention him on average ten or less times (gord mentions derby eight times, parker six times, kirby mentions ted five times). the leaders don't usually make names at all, that much is true; however, peanut mentions johnny 30 times, and, even in front of this proportion, johnny mentions peanut 0 times. just to make that clear)

overall, what undeniably shines through his voice lines is a feeling of general inadequacy, whether about his height, or his strength in front of a bigger adversary. the audios in which he tries to show off range from being disingenuous, to straight up improbable.

crossing what we have until now said, it is not hard to come to the conclusion that he really tries to make up, to fill this empty feeling of inadequacy by taking pride in his role as johnny's second in command.

while i am a big fan of bully's characteristic of having left much content out of the main game, leaving the gamers to dig it up for themselves, i do believe that scrapping some of the stuff that was prepared for peanut is a loss. we have a number of voice lines coming from chapter 3, in which it was heavily implied how important peanut's role as johnny's right hand man was.

for example, much like... all other seconds in command, really, he was to be followed and then fought in the rumble, before you could get to johnny, with the specific duty to cover his back. even his very first scene, the opening cutscene of chapter 3, i believe, is not to be underestimated. most of the other people, as far as i recall, call you when they need it in person; johnny, however, sends peanut. making him, de facto, an extension of himself, almost.

again, you choose the motivation. what is important, from a narrative point of view, is that peanut clings to johnny through these acts of service, almost making it the foundation of his personhood.

basically, he makes it so that, if he can't be of help to johnny, his whole self is fundamentally annihilated, giving himself completely to johnny.

ii. lola

with lola, reading between the lines gets a bit more difficult; first of all, because lola is much less transparent than peanut, her insincerity being a supporting beam of the whole chapter 3. secondly, whether she was done dirty by the creators or not, it is undoubted that being the perspective that of a teenage boy (namely, jimmy, but we certainly, as viewers, are brought to sympathize more with johnny than with lola) with all the prejudices it can bring with itself.

however, it doesn't mean that there isn't anything to work with- quite the contrary, actually. the issue with lola is that there is a certain amount of layers to get through before gaining a satisfying perception of her as a character. still, we're here to try our best, aren't we!

even behind the muddiness of her intentions and the manipulation she shows herself a master at, it is clear from the second we first meet her that what she does is in function of johnny.

to get through this mess with order, we'll start from an easy, measurable numeric information: lola mentions johnny in her audio files 19 times. which, we're assessed, IS a considerable amount.

we have extensively talked about the way her cheating patterns are a strategy not to succumb to the passive role of the girl in the heteronormative, patriarchal prototypical couple (there's a post here breaking down a lot of this stuff, if any of you is interested!!), so, instead of this, i want to focus on what lies beneath that behavior.

ultimately, the whole point is that lola expects and wants johnny to fight for her. whether is it because she feels taken for granted, or just because he can't perceive it if not through grandiose gestures like the rumble- your interpretation will work; she wants to see johnny fighting nail and teeth not to lose her, she wants him to show her that he wants her.

she's all about that attention, and she knows exactly what and how to do to get it. and i think this is especially clear when you compare the moments in which she knows there's no advantage she could go for; when she has understood that jimmy won't fall for her manipulation, when algie and chad leave her unsatisfied, when norton openly accuses her and antagonizes her - she loses her temper, lets go of that sweetened and/or flirtatious voice tone, abandons that specific kind of gesturing. she doesn't care anymore about obtaining something. she was actually angry, and she was actually upset that johnny had disappeared.

in some of her audios, she references johnny with some amount of fondness, as well:

Johnny and I were on the best date ever.

(there is also a voice line in which she says "He told me he likes me because of my personality. Isn't that sweet?"; due to it being a general chatter and not exclusive to one chapter, i assume it is relatively safe to assume she is quoting johnny. however, as i said at the beginning, we're trying to stay as close to canon material as possible, so, do your thing- and i'm open to arguments!!)

a considerable amount of audio files, however (which will lead us to our final point) is about her... calling for help for johnny, or stating, confidently, that he will come save her, or avenge her later.

Someone get Johnny! Johnny's gonna get you for this. Johnny is gonna kill you!

but wait... i have some sense of déjà vu...

You're gonna be sorry when Johnny finds out!

iii. two faces of the same medal

if i had to pick an effective image for a metaphor, i'd say that the thing about lola and peanut is that they are both dogs looking for someone to take their leash; we’re talking here about an exclusive relationship with someone they can rely totally on, someone we’ll call the Other (with a capital o, distinguished from just other. yes it is unnecessarily complicated i’m sorry).

for what my professor would call accidents of history, it happened that both of them found that Other in johnny.

each of them attempts at creating an exclusive relationship with the Other, one foolproof and fundamentally… perfect. perfect in the way that everything works like oiled gears, in the way that every next move is predictable, in the way that any accident will not break the created equilibrium. (even if, in the general sense of the term, lola and johnny's relationship is everything but perfect, it is in the connotation that we have established here. lola is aware that, no matter what she does, johnny will come back around. hell, the very thing that she does is aimed at keeping that balance; specifically, keeping him a bit on the edge, pushing him into a corner where he has to actively make an effort to keep her close.)

they both hide something they are ashamed of, regulating not only their actions and reactions but their very way of existing in the world, in order to keep that gear working, in order to remain in johnny's hand. lola hides that craving for a genuine and stable affection, dissimulating it with the cheating and the fatuous physical demonstrations of closeness; peanut hides his sense of inadequacy and complex of inferiority, by being the tough and reliable second in command.

basically, what they mean to achieve is a sense of security, the safety of not really being the one to lead but, at the same time, finding a purpose, other than a shield from the outside world that they are not willing to concede themselves to. like a... symbiotic relationship?? i was going to say parasitic, but, yknow. the Other does get some advantages, which are, respectively, peanut's acts of service and lola's capacity to boost johnny's pride.

now, of course, johnny is not aware of either of their play. which makes it even better, since, as we already said, both of their approach to the relationship needs some degree of insincerity.

like, i don't deny that johnny might be a good friend, or a loyal one. but he is an oblivious, prideful fuck who can't see past his own nose; he's got a tendency to make it all about himself - which of course goes perfectly with what we said about both peanut and lola making the Other their center, taking up, in a certain way, a passive role in the relationship.

this way, both of them aim at creating with johnny a relationship that is, in a way, codependant and conditional, in which the do ut des (their respective "service" ↔ johnny's guarantee of stability) creates the foundation of the very relationship.

this, of course, brings up the problem of exclusivity; on which, however, i prefer not to delve into too much, as this would bring us to the topic of their antagonism which... isn't really what i wanted to go for, at least not here. (it would risk bringing us a bit too close to my subjective interpretation and too far away from the canon, which i PROMISED i wouldn't do. however, someday i might elaborate on that??? idk , please do lmk if someone's interested around here)

i will, however, show you a diagram (it looks like a triangle- i guess it is, but it is VERY important that it is a pyramid, with a top and a larger foundation) and a quote, to wrap this up bc i think it is already WAY too long and ramble-y lmao. let me know what you think anyway, my ask box is always open <3

it almost feels like a joke to play out a part when you are not the starring role in someone else's heart you know i'd rather walk alone (i'd rather walk alone) than play a supporting role if i can't get the starring role -- starring role, marina and the diamonds

[inks-lil-quiet-corner]

Self-Made Soulmates

(based on / inspired by Achilles Come Down by @biscaanii! i am. very normal about this fic and The Odyssey in general. so, so normal i promise.)

(rambles under cut!! also cw gore / tw gore (i drew a thing based on a certain chapter in acd) and warning for spoilers on all of the current fics in the odyssey (except for the fic with the scrapped ideas))

. . . . .

so i lied i'm actually incredibly Not Normal about this fic series. it has made its home in my brain and will now never leave.

i originally decided to read it cuz i had just finished the anime and wanted some fanfics to sink my teeth into, and the moment i saw this fic and the Time Travel tag, my fate was sealed.

i instantly fell in love with the story it was creating and may have gotten a little too attached to the story's interpretation of the characters. my favorite jjk character before reading this fic series was yuuji, but the moment i read the first fic gojo immediately skyrocketed to the top of my list, along with the other two members of the trio.

and speaking of gojo...

i thought of this meme when i read the chapters where the brain bashing incident happens and immediately had to draw it lmao. please disregard the horribleness and inconsistencies of it i can't animate or do anatomy stuff for shit lol. this is also my first time drawing anything remotely bloody. i just wanted to have fun with it so here we are 🎉

here's the image of gojo with the ibuprofen text lol

anyway back to rambling-

i think the series did a really good job with tackling satoru's mental health issues throughout the story. he felt alive, as did all of the other characters with their own issues and emotions and love. this fic also made me really like suguru as a character a ton more since i was more so indifferent about him before reading this fic; same with shoko. i also like yaga a lot more now which i wasn't expecting honestly cuz he's probably one of the characters i cared for the least at first lol. and i wanna give haibara and nanami a hug. and ohhh my god the children were perfect i love them so much i want to squish them. and kenjaku was also really well written! i liked the lore thrown in about their constant search for knowledge in the most extremely non-ethical ways.

i found it funny that bits of canon, the lore, and the timeline were all essentially thrown out the window at times lol. not in a bad way!!! especially cuz it made the story flow a lot better and i'm also a big fan of rewriting canon to suit your whims if it makes for a good or better story.

the first fic in the series is probably my favorite? cuz i feel like the big story plot points are the heaviest in it and it got me hooked the fastest, but the kids in the other two make it a hard contest cuz i really like the familial fluff and these fics are actually the first time i've ever willingly read something like it. and i thought the plot stuff in between was really well organized and i was living for the murders that happened it was great lmao.

and also the 2nd and 3rd fics actually made me tolerate children more lol. i know they're not always sunshine and rainbows when it comes to behavior and taking care of them, but the fics made me remember the nice parts about them so that was really appreciative. i wanna give the fushiguro siblings and the twins a hug so baddd. and i remember screaming when they got their last names changed in the 3rd fic it was so fucking cute!!!! stsg family my beloved.

it took me... *checks calendar* 11 days? to read the entirety of the current fics in the series. i started reading it around dec 11th, finished it on dec 22nd, and it has not left my brain since. i'm probably gonna reread it at some point also when i'm able to reclaim some free time because i'm a little bit extremely obsessed with it.

i think the last fic to have impacted me this badly was like. over year ago i think. i go about my day and then randomly think to myself "i miss acd stsg family :(" completely unprompted. they just. pop into my head. i need more content or i will explode. but i do understand that it's on a bit of a hiatus so i'm just gonna reread what there is lol. and also maybe draw more if i get the motivation or remember to do so cuz i usually forget.

i will now throw in some of the screenshots i took while reading the series cuz i wanna show some of the bits that made me laugh lol

to those that read all the way up to this point- thank you for sitting through all of this lmao. i will now go back into my hermit cave -w-

[nemesis-is-my-middle-name]

ok i should really be focusing on other stuff rn so i'm not gonna go down the rabbit hole of checking this but like. the whole butcher confrontation, daniel is referred to as arthur's father, right. arthur's fully ready to beg for his life, to put his own on the line for him. daniel is like, completely fine with all of the murder, no i'm sure you had your reasons i know you're a good man. and then it's over and they hug and daniel tries very hard to impart life advice that probably won't stick, it's all very sweet.

anyway fridge thought about that. that definitely looks like two people who have been close for years, right. so that's what everyone present probably assumes, right. like, noel and oscar, or whoever, have no fucking idea how fraught their relationship has been. that would be such a wild fucking discovery. what do you mean earlier that same day was your second conversation in like a decade (the other one was at a funeral.) yknow, the conversation that got cut short bc daniel got fucking shot. how did you speedrun from mutual grudge holding to TAKE ME INSTEAD in the span of like, a few hours. and it's like, well, first you have to understand that family is kind of a complicated issue for us both, on account of basically everyone else we've ever loved is Fucking Dead, so,

[airenyah]

Hi!

I may be completely wrong here and I’m not trying to say Style is dumb at all. I’ve just seen people theorising about what it means that he saw Keen before then didn’t say anything in the bathroom and have a boring theory.

Like for example is it possible he simply forgot or forgot in the moment for a variety of reasons (maybe even him being tipsy at the time?). Or maybe didn’t think it was important at the time? They may revisit this and reveal something or have him finally make the connection later on but that’s my boring theory against the he’s up to something one’s.

I’ve just completely forgotten who people are before so would understand if it really wasn’t deeper than that but I still appreciate the theorising going on. I will wait to see what the show does next.

(Oh also looking forward to your next meta but hope you pace yourself and rest before finishing it.)

yeah i'm so super mad at myself for completely forgetting that style had seen keen before when i was writing my ep7 meta!! i could have been thinking about this a week ago!! also, how embarrassing for me to forget about this when i've literally made being a style expert my sole personality for the past 7 weeks. i can't believe this smh....

but yeah, i have absolutely no idea. i can really see this go multiple way. either style knows something and was protecting keen on purpose

or maybe he honestly did forget, especially considering with how tipsy he was. i mean, the guy was close to falling asleep right there at the urinal, i wouldn't trust his brain to function normally at that point and to immediately remember a guy he saw once quite a while ago

i wanna go back to that scene and re-write that part of my meta but i think i'll wait and see where this is going first so that i have full context for it. for now we'll just have to wait and see, i guess

[chippedshake]

okay okay okay I know I said I would wait until I finish the book again until I made this post but, um. no.

also I can always make a more comprehensive one later

So. Idk how people generally analyse Tex (something I should look into probably), but I feel like a major theme is how interpersonal relationships tie into identity and the way people live? exist? are? in general.

Mainly through using Tex and Mason as foil characters, you can really see how this plays out.

First you have the horses. Now, there's the obvious aspect of Mason selling them, putting himself and Tex over the horses in importance (which, I mean, duh), but there's also something Tex mentions towards the beginning of the book, which is that Mason never treated Red like a human. Tex treated Negrito like a person, and in turn felt like it was a mutual relationship. Mason, on the other hand treated Red like a horse, kinda like you'd expect someone to.

Which is why this perspective is so interesting, because you have Tex, who is maybe too empathetic, too emotional, feeling like horses can respond to you like a human can, and you get into the idea of Mason maybe being ignorant or cold in the way he interacts with them.

Then there's the fact that it's mentioned off-handedly that Mason was dating a girl who was named Laurie (I think?) but they broke it off because she wanted to get married. And we get no description of Mason's emotions. Yes, Tex is the narrator, but he's fairly good at reading people and is emotionally intelligent. Unlike with Ponyboy, you can't explain away a character seemingly not expressing the feelings they should logically be having by saying "oh, well he just didn't notice" because he would. Mason seems almost unaffected by the fact that he and his girlfriend broke up and while, yes, he doesn't want to settle down, that doesn't mean he doesn't feel anything towards people.

And then you have Tex and Jamie. They weren't all that serious, but when they break up, Tex seems to take it really strongly. (I just noticed the Tex-Jamie / Mason-Laurie parallelism and I'm definitely gonna do a post about that soon). He gets attached to people really easily, so if they leave him, it hurts him all the more.

But the story is about Tex progressively losing everyone he cares about.

Mason sells Negrito and Red, Mason isn't friends with Lem anymore, Johnny gets into a fight with him, Jamie and him break up, and then the drop that made the cup overflow (idk how to translate that from spanish) is that apparently he isn't Pop's son.

And right after that, he almost dies.

I don't think that's a coincidence.

ALSO. When he's getting better, he gets a bunch of visits from people who care about him. He finds out Mason broke every single part of his facade out of worry. He finds out Jamie came to visit him. Johnny and him had already made up but Johnny doesn't seem mad that he's dating Jamie anymore. Even Cole seems to begrudgingly tolerate him.

Tex's identity is almost entirely built on other people. He's a horse rider and Mason's little brother and Johnny's best friend and Pop's son and Jamie's boyfriend. So when those connections fail, he doesn't know what to do with himself. In a way, he does die because he needs to build himself back up, he need to make a person where there used to just be relationships. Which isn't to say he can't have relationships, because that's the stance Mason kinda takes, but he need to grow to be independent from them and yeah.

That's all I have for now. But wow. I'm going to spend so much time obsessing over this book.

[crushedsweets]

What do you think Toby’s relationship is with alcohol and stuff like smoke? You think he gets triggered like what if Tim were to smoke infront of him (pretty sure Frank smoked?) would he get triggered or something?

ooo ok ok. tw for mentions of abuse, alcoholism, etc under the cut

toby represses stuff very heavily. after about 3-4 years post-killing his dad, (so he'd be about 20+), he'd just not think about it. it's not that he's "healed" by any means, but he just think he has bigger things to worry about

he feels a bit more towards alcohol than cigarettes, and he'd get irritated with Anybody who drank ages 17-19. but, his mom would have a few glasses of wine every now and again, and it just relaxed her. she would just kinda sit in her chair and watch tv quietly. occasionally toby would find her weeping. so he knows that alcohol isn't like, strictly an agent of destruction and abuse and all things horrible (not that he thinks its good in any way)

if he knows someone is more of like, a goofy 'fun' drunk, or an emotional crying drunk, or immediately wanting to sleep, or anything along those lines - he doesn't really care. he drinks socially, though he never really gets further than being tipsy. he hasn't sworn it off or anything, he doesn't have that much self restraint

BUT if he notices that someone is more aggressive when they're drunk, even if it's just confrontational rather than violent, he gets irritated. often he'll egg them on and purposefully try to get into a fight with them, calling them sloppy and say they're embarrassing themselves and whatever. it's probably because thats the shit he'd NEVER get to say to frank without risking the entire family, and because he just wants their drinking to be as unpleasant as possible.

frank would smoke in the same damn armchair everyday and night, missing the ashtray half the time. so toby has an issue with people smoking indoors and being careless with cigarettes, he thinks it's ridiculous and dirty and whatnot. so he'll probably get aggravated and say something if someone is smoking indoors. BUT tim also thinks its gross smoking indoors, so he only does it outside - which toby's fine with. he gets pissed if he sees tim just leaving used cigarettes lying around

it's not so much that he'll be triggered in the sense of a flashback and begin crying and whatnot, but he'll get irritated if things fit into a certain memory or resemble franks aggression/carelessness. and he'll say something everytime, he's not the type to bite his tongue - especially now that he can defend himself

TLDR; he doesn't mind unless a drunk person gets aggressive or someone smokes indoors. he drinks socially at times. he doesn't smoke cigarettes.

[crystallizsch]

hi ian i come bearing angst fuel for the yuusha as twsted elsa (maybe an idea for her possible overblot idk she kinda reads to me as someone whod preemptively isolate in the case she feels...blotty)

(also seeing that art of her playing violin totally didnt fuck me up im still nursing my bruised heart 🥴🥴💕💕)

https://youtu.be/NDldNaEZTt8?si=Wm71pgTltuJLjFvk

^^this is from the frozen musical where they gave a song to elsa to explore her emotional turmoil and it just fleshed out her character so much more than the orig movie (ok i havent seen frozen 2 oops) but just this section here:

Is everyone in danger as long as I'm alive?

Was I a monster from the start?

How did I end up with this frozen heart?

Bringing destruction to the stage

Caught in a war that I was never meant to wage

anyways lmao i jus think the song is neat i think yuushas neat (i wanna see more of her ahehehe i love seeing infodumps abt ur yuus)

-diodellet

(throwback to this “what if yuu had magic” ask where i had a ✨realization✨ and this more recent yuusha lore drop that i gave zero elaboration on 🙃)

very rough ob yuu design??? idk i came up with it on the spot ;;; and it’s kinda based on disney’s concept art of elsa when she was supposed to be the villain.

evil ice queen vibes :3

also i know the ob monster is supposed to be based on the villain— which is elsa in this case— but lowkey. an ice monster is way cooler.

also also i just realized after i drew this i couldve done a grim/yuu tandem overblot ough 🤧🤧 (next time I'll do that instead if i ever go back to this concept)

(read more below because it got SO long)

AAH anyways hi hi dio!!! when i saw your ask i went —

— with this entire post

AAGH HOW MANY MORE UNINTENTIONAL CONNECTIONS ARE GOING TO BE BETWEEN FROZEN AND YUUSHA

i guess watching the movie everyday when it came out when you’re like 9 does something to your brain chemistry (and still haunts you at least a decade later) 💀

but anyways the angst ;;; overblot yuu ;;;;; my brain is rotting and the worms have taken over

also i didn’t even know that there was a frozen broadway musical so im gonna have to check it out later 🏃💨💨💨

(also dont worry frozen 2 is a nice watch for the most part but the way they concluded the characters did not feel 100% satisfying to me 😭 BUT i love some of the songs tho ;;; kristoff’s goofy 80s ballad song is one of them specifically, i need everyone to listen to it)

hfgnnfhfgv anyways thank you so much i’m chugging that angst fuel as i expand more on a possible ob yuusha with another infodump 💪💪💪

⚠️⚠️⚠️ ALSO IM SORRY BUT mentions of taking one’s own life so please proceed with caution ⚠️⚠️⚠️

i had to reread what my initial thoughts about it bc it was months ago??? and after rereading im just like, huh what was i on— (just that feeling when you just cringe at your old posts ;; but idk i think the insanity/cringe sometimes can loop back into being a genius and the cycle just continues)

anyways i’ve been on and off writing yuusha’s bio and overblot yuu was just at the back of my mind chilling but i didn’t really do anything with it.

but now that i have the opportunity,,,, im gonna go on the magicless route this time bc i feel like I've said all what i thought if it was an overblot due to her own magic.

so uh from what i gather overblots are a mix of overuse of magic + intense negative emotion.

since it’s magicless yuu, i guess the one of the general headcanons around the fandom is that they’ve been too exposed to overblots and then intense negative emotions suddenly just triggered their overblot.

uh anyways onto the elsa parts

Is everyone in danger as long as I'm alive? Was I a monster from the start? How did I end up with this frozen heart? Bringing destruction to the stage Caught in a war that I was never meant to wage

THE LYRICS ARE SO GOOD ;;; i really love how some broadway interpretations expand on the source material

and yeah you're right 🤧🤧🤧— yuusha would try to hide and escape, especially as she overblots bc she would try to avoid hurting people (and like elsa, it'd only hurt others more trying to escape bc of probably how she leaves destruction in her wake trying to make others stay away from her 😔)

(this is a small tangent but i remember thinking about an overblot kalim and i imagine him to be similar, like he would not hurt anyone intentionally in his overblot.)

anyways so the way it would go is that i imagine her friends got fatally injured either because a) she feels that she’s too “useless” without magic to help and wasn’t able to do anything OR b) her attempts at helping to try and prove that she can help without magic made everything worse.

and then she just goes into a guilty spiral then boom — overblot.

ALSO in the song, the way elsa briefly contemplated taking her own life but then realizing there’s no guarantee that would solve anything hnghgh (<- another unintentional parallel to my yuusha lore because that’s actually how she ended up in twst except she did NOT have the latter realization)

there’s this “yuu is dead” theory i’m just using and that the black carriage actually just caught yuusha’s soul after she took her own life from all the burden.

also some bonus angst context for that violin post :3

yuusha back in her homeworld is raised and known to be a gifted musician. people can feel the life and soul in her music but when people interact with her, they are usually met with an ice-cold (heh) personality.

the dead family member was the one who taught her music and the only one who was kind to her.

there’s always an expectation from her family to perform well and to keep up appearances as to not be a humiliation since anything she does can reflect on her entire family. (also hi, slight yuusha/jamil parallels maybe???)

the way she presents herself also stemmed from an incident as a child when she went apeshit on another kid bc she was defending a friend.

so from then on she was taught taught to conceal don’t feel those emotions — which just unfortunately extended to any positive ones, not just negative ones like rage.

so when she is brought to twst, there’s no memory of her being forced to hold back her emotions so she’s just unapologetically affectionate and open with everyone bc that’s how she really is.

but every now and then, memories of her breaking down haunt her in her dreams or as subtle reminders in the waking world.

then yuusha just goes on her day like she just wasn't reminded of her past.

(unnecessarily tragic lore my beloved, but anyway—)

another extremely brief tangent and bonus -> the two songs i had on loop while drawing pre-twst yuusha

lindsey stirling my beloved i love her music

the songs are such a vibe

her instrumentals in “lose you now” especially makes me feel some sort of way 😖

[underkunimi]

HEAR ME OUT THE BRAIN IS COOKING A BIT

Luffy taking care of Law, someone who’s used to always taking care of everyone else, as a captain, as a surgeon. Law working on something super important and he says something about needing to go get water and all of a sudden it appears in front of him. Law hasn’t eaten all day and when he goes to get something, there’s a plate of meat waiting for him! there’s a note attached that says “FOR TRAFFY” in big letters then at the bottom it says “it was so hard not to eat thissssssss” Luffy forcing Law to go outside and get some fresh air and making Law go on walks with him