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quodekash · 2 years ago

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THE EPISODE IS OUT AND IVE NOW WATCHED IT (and it took me two hours to get through as per usual) SO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS

ITS TIME FOR MY COMMENTARY ON THE ENTIRE EPISODEEE (im sorry)

THEY WON HELL YES FINALLY

BUT IT WAS A DREAM

why? they like crushing our souls.

the scene of gun waking up and getting ready (having a shower, brushing his teeth) reflects the very first episode, where he had so much energy and he was preparing his speech for the juniors. And now he’s lost the biggest competition of his life so far, he’s sad, and honestly he’s lost - but not in the meaning that he didn’t win, he’s lost in the way that he doesn’t know where he is or where to go or what to do. and gmm is making me cry about the freaking passage of time which is so cliche like there are so many other things to make me cry about but instead you choose the thing that I’ve been having a mental breakdown / existential crisis over for the past three years? It feels like a personal attack tbh

THE TEACHER WAS SPEAKING IN THAI COS THEY ARE THAI PEOPLE AND THEN RANDOMLY SAID “oh man good job” IN ENGLISH AND IT WAS SO JARRING I LITERALLY FLINCHED

WIN DONT BE COLD TO YOUR BOYFRIEND WHAT THE FLIP

PORS TRYNA CHEER EVERYONE UP WHY ARE YOU YELLING AT THEM??

AND SOUND’S TRYNA GET YOU TO APOLOGISE COS YOU SAID BLOODY HURTFUL THINGS AND THEN YOU THROW YOUR ARM OUT OF HIS GRIP AND SAY “you won’t get us”, ESSENTIALLY IMPLYING THAT HE’S NOT ONE OF YOU AND HE’S NOT IMPORTANT??? THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE BEHAVIOUR

AND SOUND DOESNT EVEN GO AFTER HIM

awhhhh poor Por alone in the music room by himself he needs a hug I would like to give him a hug please

Pat, I love you, I truly do, but shut up please. you’re gonna make Por freaking cry and that’ll make me cry and I’m already gonna cry enough from this episode

POR IS STANDING AT THE PIANO, HE SHOULD SING AND PLAY A SAD SONG BY HIMSELF TO LET HIS EMOTIONS OUT ON THE KEYS, TO FEEL HIS FEELS THROUGH MUSIC

BUT NO ALL HE DOES IS CRY

AND IT MAKES ME CRY

GOSHDARNNIT

“the doctor said I can go home next week!” “Don’t rush it mum. I can survive at home on my own. I just want to make sure you’re okay.” “I’m okay. But when will you get better?” THIS WOMAN ALWAYS SPEAKS THE TRUTH ONLY THE TRUTH AND NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH AND I LOVE HER

“ever since I woke up, I’ve never seen you song. I usually had to tell you to quit singing.” “……..do you think dad would be disappointed in me?” “What about you? Were you disappointed in him for not being able to release his music? Listen. If we tried our best, there’s nothing to regret. I think your dad would think the same.” BRO HOW IS EVERYTHING SHE SAYS SO FREAKING QUOTABLE

AWW TINN SHOWING UP AT THE HOSPITAL TO VISIT GIM BUT HES JUST TOO LATE I LOVE HIM

OOOOO THEYRE GONNA DO THE PROM NIGHT PERFORMANCE THATS AWESOME

also side note prom night means dates means tinngun soundwin tiwpor I’m very excited

ITS FINALLY TIME FOR PHOTJANEES MENTAL BREAKDOWN OMG FINALLY IVE BEEN WAITING

“do you think we raised him well enough?” YES OFC YOU DID WHAT THE FLIP /gen

“What mistakes do you think we’ve made along the way?” Every parent makes mistakes, man, that’s the way of life, it’s a learning experience for everyone involved. But what’s important is making sure you show your child that you love them and support them and care for them and shESDONE THAT mostly I think. all the things she’s done that could be considered bad or negative were her trying to do what she thought would be best for tinn’s happiness and well-being, even if it didn’t go down that way. You made mistakes, yeah. That’s what makes you freaking human, photjanee.

OKAYOKAYOKAYOKAY TIWPOR PROBABLY HOPEFULLY AND SOUNDWIN PROBABLY HOPEFULLY AND TINNGUN PROBABLY

I was excited for this rehearsal, but win, stop it. “Just cancel this freaking band” seriously, stop. You’re being really cold right now and idk where it’s coming from but it has to stop please.

“I’m out” exCUSE ME???

THE BASS PLAYER CANT JUST QUIT

THE BASS IS THE FREAKING HEART OF THE MUSIC, THE SOUL

IF THERES BO BASS PLAYER THERES NO SOUL SO THERES NO MUSIC

okay sound is going after him it’s okay

and win was disappointed in himself so it make sense now. It’s not healthy to push your own insecurities and fears onto others to feel better, but it does explain his behaviour and hopefully he can find a better coping mechanism

EXCUSE ME WHEN THE F L I P WAS THIS ESTABLISHED??????

I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW PLEASE

COULD SOMEONE PERHAPS INFORM ME OF THIS INFORMATION????

your boyfriend is being super self-hatey? Aggressively force him into a hug and let him let all his anger out while simultaneously letting him know both verbally and physically that you’re there for him and while you might not understand what he’s going through you will listen and do what you can to make him feel happy. I love these two.

its a tinngun scene next and you’ll never guess where they are

✨the freaking pool✨

AND WE GOT A SOUNDWIN SCENE, THEN A TINNGUN SCENE, THEN A TIWPOR SCENE, ALL IN QUICK SUCCESSION THIS IS AMAZING

JFJEJFHDHEHDB TIWPOR DATE TIWPOR DATE TIWPOR DATE

SIR--

AAAAAAAAAA

THEY MAKE ME SO HAPPYYYYYYY

✨oh shoot✨

por fell down the stairs and ✨broke his leg✨

I FINALLY UNDERSTAND THE WISH REDEEMING THING THANK GOODNESS I WAS SO FREAKING CONFUSED

HOW IS HE SO FREAKING POSITIVE ALL THE TIME????

“But Tinn has got a really nice voice, ma’am” gun you’re being real sus she’s about to figure it out

photjanee keeps getting so close to finding out about tinngun and then something interrupts it and it happens every single time

BEACH TRIP PART 2 LETS GOOO

wait a sec they did a bad buddy. They went to the beach and then they went to the beach again. And the second time was in episode 11. why has that happened twice now.

BRO HES WEARING YELLOW

WIN RESERVED A SPOT FOR SOUND AGAIN AND THIS TIME SOUND IS ACTUALLY TAKING THE SPOT I LOVE THEMMMMM

so that fight was freaking intense, they were all having a go at each other, naturally it progressed to just Soundwin yelling but then surprisingly it turned into win and gun.

I rly liked that scene tho, all of them at the height of emotions and they all give really hard but sincere and heartfelt apologies to each other. And then they have a group hug. It’s so sweet, I love all of their group dynamics so freaking much

this man is neurodivergent and I love him with all my soul

tinn’s dad doesn’t have a name. tis character is nameless. but I love him.

NATURALLY TIW HAD TO EMERGE FROM THE SHADOWS FJRJFHFH

TIWPOR ARE SO OBVIOUS

“Did I miss something?? What is happening?” Well, win, you see, you know how you and sound are in love? It’s the same situation with Tiw and por, but you numskulls have been too thick to see it somehow

TIWPOR ARE LITERALLY BOYFRIENDS I LOVE THEM

everyone just coping Soundwin left right and centre okay then

first tinngun with the medal kiss

now tiwpor with the sprinkle water

what’s next, yo and nook are gonna be tied up together? Pat and [insert imaginary character] are gonna have a lot of meaningful interactions in the bathroom?

oh also that song?? It made me cry man. I don’t care what anyone says, this show is a cinematic masterpiece.

the way they’re watching a video of them singing an encouraging song to encourage themselves?

the way they’re suddenly in the room watching??

THE WAY SOUND APPEARS OUT OF NOWHERE???

THE WAY TINN APPEARS OUT OF NOWHERE????

THE WAY THEIR CURRENT SELVES ARE SUDDENLY SINGING TO THEMSELVES?????????

it gave me chills and it gave me tears

I literally can’t describe how much I love this show

the only thing that could’ve made that song better is if Tiw appeared out of nowhere

i CaN wAiT uNtiL yOuRe A uNi StUdEnT dude no one cares about the rule anymore, sound literally said he and win are boyfriends (WHICH BTW W H E N WAS THAT ESTABLISHED?????) just date now

“no matter how long, I’ll always wait for you right here” okay that’s super sweet and all but literally no one cares about the stupid rule just kiss already

yeah okay that explains it. I’d noticed how the only people to say “until they’ve WON hot wave” were that guy and Tinn and Tiw, but everyone else just said until after hot wave so yeah

“Be with me now and you’ll get to use the hashtag #MySchoolPresident” gotta love them subtle title drops lmao

and naturally there’s a cliffhanger on the photjanee plot line. great. like they needed to have something to keep us hooked even tho we're invested literally no matter what, the next episode is the freaking final episode, we're gonna watch it, dont worry gmmtv

MY MAIN TAKEAWAYS

last episode felt way too short but this one felt way too long

I’m still not sure if tiwpor were already secretly dating or if it’s just mutual crushes or if it’s something else BUT they’re going down the tiwpor route for which I am grateful because WE’RE NOT DELUSIONAL HAHA SUCKERS WE WERE RIGHT

WHEN THE FLIP FLAP TICTAC WAS IT ESTABLISHED THAT SOUNDWIN ARE BOYFRIENDS????? DID SOMETHING HAPPEN OFF SCREEN???? I HAVE Q U E S T I O N S

and we have one episode left of this goodnessforsaken show. We have had eleven episodes. We have had about 600 freaking minutes of this show. And Tinn and gun stILL HAVENT KISSED???????? WHAT THE FLIP IS GOING ON

#soundwin #winsound #tiwpor #tiwsonpor #tinngun #satangwinny #winnysatang #mark ford #satang kittiphop #winny thanawin #maek pakin #ford arun #gemini norawit #fourth nattawat #geminifourth #my school president #my school president the series

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webslingingslasher · 1 year ago

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Okay so like- the cooker at my new place absolutely SUCKS I can't cook anything with it so last night I went to use the air fryer I got, right? As I've gone to use it EVERY. SINGLE. SOCKET. In my flat went boom! And my phone was on like 7% cause I was about to charge it and would be dead by morning and I needed my alarm for uni. So at this point I haven't eaten, my wife her literally EXPLODED, it sparked white and let out a loud pop, im in pitch black, I'm honestly kinda scared and my phone is gonna die before morning. So already not off to a good start, but oh well, I find my battery pack that has 1% which SOMEHOW got my phone to 50% before quitting and like- my battery pack, my girl was the real mpv in this- like my mother and I was screaming at each other over the phone over this cause she said I'm so negative and that's why, and I was just like "oh sorry- lemme fucking will the power back on with positive thinking!". So we now start at today, I go downstairs, get the to fix my sincere then leave for uni- the bus was PACKED, like completely chock-a-block and I almost fell into a woman's lap so was SOOO embarrassed and wanted to die, and I had blisters from heels so my feet hurt like hell. I get into uni where almost immediately everyone's talking about plans to go out for Halloween including my "friends" right next to me and discussing it when I'm clearly not invited :') then we have a presentation I wasn't prepared for cause I've been so busy with a cancer scare with my grandad and my elderly dog has been doing so poorly lately. Everyone else had the bets fucking work and ideas and I was so embarrassed to even show what I had done and Sven tho my teacher tried there really wasn't much she could say in comparison and I spent like- 2 hours sitting there on my phone cause apparently I've murdered everyone's im the classes pets over the summer and no one wants go know me now even tho I was literally voted as most charismatic. At lunch I went and got a sausage roll cause I still haven't eaten at this point- then we had digital in the afternoon. Now idk if I've mentioned this before but I am HEAVILY dyslexic, like I'm the 2nd worst case my examiner has sent in 40 years heavy. And atleast 5 times within 2 hours I had to go up to my teacher to PROUDLY announce that I in fact could not do the task she had set, as I can't. Fucking. Read. And then she said in the lesson how interns are expected to put all the swatches into the right places which I obviously cannot do because cannot read. So I've just gotten home and got into another argument with my mum whilst having a massive meltdown again, still haven't eaten and I'm now grasping with the fact that I may not even be able to do fashion design and I've just got into loads of debt and wasted my time for nothing, but in also stuck here and can't do fuck all about it and I really fucking miss my dog. Oh and Ethan dropped out.

Sorry for the rant bestie ~🌻

oh my god sonny, if there was one time i really, really wish i could come through the screen & give someone a massive hug it would be right now.

i really don't know what to say, but i'm glad you had a space to get this all out. and lemme just say rn, for someone w terrible dyslexia you are such a trooper to be here talking to me and reading my stuff cause, imma be honest, i'm pretty wordy sometimes.

i really, really hope this next month turns around for you.

#🌻 anon

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tutuandscoot · 2 years ago

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I didn't watch Ellen show (it was never on TV in my country and I didn't have interest to watch), so I didn't have any opinion about her, but after the interview I started to dislike her so so much that I thought I was getting crazy because everyone loved her and loved the interview. She didn't respect them, not even for a minute, Tessa is better at hiding, but she didn't look comfortable and Scott was looking like he rather be dead than be there.

💯 agree with you. I watched it a bit as a kid (my mum had it on tv so I just saw it occasionally) and thought it was fine but yes later on I started to notice how BS it was. If an actor I liked was on it I’d watch (not the whole show just the interview) but everytime unless it was one of her besties (a middle age white woman) she was so disrespectful, roll her eyes, just ask the dumbest questions and then ruined it by pulling out some farce (like scaring the guest- thank fkn god she didn’t do that to Scott I would have killed her).

So yeh I watched the VM interview when it aired and you just knew she was gonna be so disrespectful. As I’ve said I’ve never subscribed to the shippy stuff so no amount of dumb arse Ellen asking over and over was gonna convince me it just made me mad 😡. No way she actually watched their performance or bothered to learn anything about them- she would’ve just been briefed on them being super sensual and their performances making people tweet that they were pregnant. She just perpetuated all the shippy stuff by only talking about that and not acknowledging their athletic achievements. And people get mad at vm for always answering with ‘we worked so hard and so much care and trust goes into it, we are so proud of how we have managed our careers and worked together we take such pride in that’ which for the record I love when they said that because ITS THE FUCKING TRUTH and damn straight they would be proud of it and each other and it’s so ignorant of people that they could t just accept that.

TS were obviously so uncomfortable. That she kept pushing the ‘they dated when they were 6+8’ bit is BS coz I don’t care what anyone tells me THAT IS NOT “DATING” in the respect it means anything- it’s cute but they themselves say they don’t know wtf was going on and didn’t even talk, their siblings ‘set them up’ and they just went along with it so a 60 year old woman continuing to push that when there is nothing there or nothing relevant to TS now being 28 and 30 is just feeding the insane people (sorry I’m ranting over and over I have a lot of grievances about this).

If TS were to have done any American interview I’d much rather they did Colbert or something. There would’ve maybe been a joke but then he would’ve moved on because he actually has class and respects his guests and knows how to interview people- I think Scott esp would’ve been much more comfortable coz he had mentioned watching the daily show (which Colbert was on). I mean Adam Rippon did Colbert after the olys so it was just coz VM had that “relationship” question going that they got pushed into doing Ellen because it was those people- mostly middle aged white woman in that audience coz sorry they are so gullible and tabloid media is literally made for that audience, they’ll believe anything no matter how fantastical it is (apologies I’m generalising here but you know what I mean- just look at the statistics for the middle aged WW who voted for T****).

And yes on a more personal note I can’t stand her. All the charity stuff and advocacy for gay rights was great but it just got out of hand I’m not surprised at all that all those things started to come out about her being a tyrant and a bully, honestly when you (sorry but she is a lesbian) have an audience full of screaming middle aged woman worshiping you… idk I don’t want to get nasty but yeah that can go to the head.

I feel so bad for VM and I don’t want to say that they had nothing to do with the decision to go on Ellen obs it was their choice but there’s a very good chance their manger/s were taking advantage of the buzz they got post olys. (I’ve complained before about just how much media they did esp morning shows where sorry but the hosts and producers tend to not be that intelligent (basing this off those kinds of shows in my own country). Obviously TS knew who Ellen was but I can’t imagine they knew it would be that bad with the way she treated them (they are used to the ‘relationship’ of it all but nothing this bad) you know, they trained all day every day (no time for day time tv) and not that I’m from there but I have a feeling there isn’t that hype for these kinds of ‘American celebrities’ in Canada- they seem to have more of their own identity in their pop culture despite the close proximity (idk that’s my take on it obs isn’t the same for every person)

So yes anon I was disgusted by it I hate that it happened.. I don’t blame VM for it they were only doing their job and to their credit they always pushed the truth of their partnership and shone a light on the strength of their team and the Canadian team and how proud they are to come from where they do and be really wonderful representatives of their country. Ellen is a troll I hate her I’m so glad that show is over she had no class or respect and I’m sorry I know I try to refrain from talking about people like this but the fact is she is true “celebrity” who is really just famous for being famous where as people like VM are real people who didn’t ask for any of this fame, why worked so hard at their very specific craft and are incredibly kind people who got all this crap for simply doing their job (skating) and chasing their goals. I only take comfort that in these difficult situations they have each other and take refuge in each other which unfortunately only made people go crazier. I wish people would just respect them for who they are.

*catches breath* 😰. rant over

#sorry anon this was long #at least Scott was a cutie with all those funny faces

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percontaion-points · 7 months ago

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Heartless chapters 23 & 24

Today's review might be difficult for some; reader discretion is advised

Click to see the rest of the snark & image descriptions

Click here for the rest of the series!

Chapter 23

But instead, it was Cyril Long, my grandfather’s enforcer, standing at the open door of an SUV.

Chapter 23 summary: Trey forces Vail to shift, so she does. And then the first thing she does is to attack Trey while he’s still in his human form. But seeing the scratches she made on Trey’s back brings back memories of how hurt Jasper is, and she pulls back a little.

She then goes on the hunt and kills… something. It’s not important. She’s literally a wildcat; IDK what anybody is expecting. Trey is there, waiting to finish eating what she cannot.

And for all of this book talking about how the animal and the human are a little like this Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde… But it’s honestly not like that in Vail’s POV. (Worth noting that we’ve never actually seen Reed’s or Jasper’s POV when they were actually wolves. Only talking about their wolves as if they were this other self living inside of them. It’s not like that with Vail at all.)

After having eaten her fill, Vail then somehow ends up in this super fancy, rich house full of animal trophy heads on the walls. She then attacks Trey again, but he moves at the last second so instead of hurting him, she “mates” with him. Which is beyond a shit move… And I question the validity of it all, seeing as how it wasn’t her intention to do so.

Vail then transforms back, and tries to sneak out, but she’s naked. There’s this girl there, who Vail thinks might be the owner coming away to ski. However, the woman identifies herself as another werepanther, and gives Vail some clothes. She talks some about the history of the Barakat family… Which the clue was in the fucking name. They’re cats, who would live in burrows. She says that unlike the wolves and their worship of the moon, the cats are more about the winds. Vail thinks that it’s fitting, because there’s now nothing but dust between her and Trey right now.

The woman goes on to introduce herself as Ada Barakat, Trey’s twin sister. She grew up in wealth and luxury with her mum, vs Trey wanting to move to the Horn to be closer to Vail when he was 8.

Vail is desperate to get back to her actual mate, so she makes her excuses and leaves. But Cyril is waiting for her outside.

Chapter 24

“I have an arrangement with Ada. Any wolves who find themselves in her territory, she lets me know.” I must have looked surprised, because he said, “This is her land. In the panther world, all property is held in the female’s name. The males tend to be the roamers, so it makes sense for the females to have a secure base.”

This somehow makes Trey’s insistence on becoming Vail’s mate that much worse. Because it seems as though this is a matriarchal society (aka one ruled by women).

Like get the fuck out of here with this psudo macho posturing and acting like you own everything. You apparently don’t even own a proper house to take care of her. In fact, Vail is supposed to be the one to do all of the taking care of!

But his warning did the exact opposite for me. The talk of experiments, of the descriptions of my grandfather’s ruthlessness, put a painful knot in my belly. But why did he have to show me the lab to drive the point home? Couldn’t he have just come out and said this during the proof of life at the academy?

The meeting that all of the different wolf clans used as a political power play? Hell fucking no.

“Of course, it is,” I muttered, and slamming the door shut, turned and walked towards the Clan Caves.

Chapter 24 summary: Vail obviously wants nothing to do with Cyril, but Ada tells her that it’s Cyril or Trey. She picks the scary dude who supposedly works for her grandfather. In the car, he tells her that he has an agreement with Ada to pick up “any lost wolves”. He gives her supplies to help her put herself together, including mouthwash and a comb; this ain’t his first rodeo, apparently.

However, instead of taking her “anywhere you want to go”, he instead drives basically into the bush and shows her another wolf lab. He tells her that it belongs to her grandfather, and that she’d be wise to keep her head down and stay the fuck away from anything to do with the asshole. Vail obviously reads him loud and clear. The kind of people who use the labs are not the kind of people she wants to associate with.

Vail knows that she could go literally anywhere at this point. But she needs to be with Jasper. Because despite having accidentally become the “queen of the panthers” last night, her actual mate is Jasper.

#heartless (hma 3)#hunter moon academy

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hypotheticallyimmortal · 2 years ago

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venting feel free to ignore

okay so like mental health related vent with some semi-related other venting I'll shove it like below the keep reading thing so you don't have to see it

idk what to tag this with for tws and cws or whatever so yeah idk

talking a bit about food related mental health topics so if there's anything you wanna avoid there

also just talking about family members so you know, nothing like too bad, just fair warning for that HJSGDKFSD

so like honestly really struggling with just like food rn

and I don't really know why

I think it's at least partially because my brain often freaks out about like whether food is safe, idk why, I mean I kinda have an idea why but idk, like I don't have ocd but I do have contamination anxiety type stuff sometimes but that's a tangent

like part of it might be because I made a tumblr again, and last time I had tumblr I got pulled into like the ED side and like had an eating disorder so idk if part of it is like old feelings getting like dredged up and making it harder like compounding on that first thing

or maybe it's something physical that's messing with my appetite idk

or a mix of those things idk

a like far lesser part of it with some food might be because texture and me having asd but like that's tangential because it's stuff I can normally eat

point is struggling to eat

especially with anything that looks like it might not be right, which to my brain rn seems to be just about like most food

(haha at least my brain isn't freaking out about drinking water that always sucks, I'd prefer to not eat than not drink afterall SJHDGFJSGD)

also more tangential venting

but so like last week on easter my grandma decided to cook like some store bought vegetable lasagne and like we found a like insect in it - so that might be part of why I'm struggling because like anxiety being validated ig

so I didn't want to eat with everyone else and took my portion upstairs and I did the very normal thing that everyone else would do for sure and definitely isn't weird in the slightest of like looking through before eating it to check it was okay

(so like I'm a vegetarian right but I just wanted to double check it was a vegetable lasangne because sometimes my grandma buys like the non-vegetable lasagne and like while she wouldn't give me meat on purpose she has done it by accident multiple times before haha)

and anyway at the time I show it to my grandma right I bring it downstairs and I'm like "there's an insect in my lasagne" my grandma is like "that's just spinach, this is a reputable firm they wouldn't do something like this" and I'm like "but that's literally an insect" my grandma is like "fine we'll get the magnifying glass" ... "spinach" me: "it literally has antennae and legs" my grandma "I'll have to get <twin sibling> and <older half brother> to look at it" me: "it has antennae and legs" my grandma "oh my god it really is an insect" "<grandma's husband's name> look what <irl body name> in found <pronoun> lasagne"

like I get it I'm a bit like insane about food sometimes but I wish she would actually just fucking listen and believe me

like she also gets so upset when I ask her if something is wrong with food or like don't want to eat it, or double check that it doesn't have meat or is safe and stuff, like it's not about her why does she have to take it personally HKLSGDFKJSGDFK

also then today my mum was a bit oof about weight stuff and things haha, like I wish they weren't controlling about it, like I get I've had anorexia in the past but bro SHDGFKSHD

my mum: I'm going to tell <grandma> that you need to eat more and gain weight me: I'm pretty sure I'm a healthy weight my mum: you're looking bony me, confused: we can measure my weight right now if you're worried me: *measures weight* my mum: you're only 3kg heavier than I am and look how much taller you are me, shocked: *goes to check my bmi, and it is in the middle of the healthy weight section* so that's good kinda that I am healthy bmi ig

I feel like it's kinda fucked up my mum went to say she'd tell my grandma? like knowing that my grandma is both like oof about food and like does worry because obvs I actually did have an ed in the past

also another fucked up part was that part of me was kinda hoping my mum was right, I don't think my brain ever stopped like viewing being underweight as something I kinda wanted on some level even after getting better, like I'm not really functional enough to like move out for like multiple reasons but I've always kinda thought it's probably good I haven't because I probably would start like not eating enough again

okay anyway so also anyway

it turned into a thing tonight because I didn't really eat dinner, and my grandma got upset at me for like not eating dinner (well it was like some kind of a vegetable stew and some bread, I did manage to eat the bread at least)

and also only had a pot noodle for lunch at like 4pm

but anyway my grandma got upset about it

and also didn't eat my dinner last night because my brain said there was something wrong with the rice

and the night before that I kinda only ate half my dinner because m-

and the night before that I kinda-

anyway today tho I did eat like a whole like chocolate easter egg tonight so it's not like a like calories thing or anything, well that was on my mind when thinking about it but ehh it didn't stop me so not the issue

and I was talking to my mum about it later right (for the sake of not repeating just read below) and anyway she said I should repeat what i said to her to my grandma

so anyway I went to speak to my grandma and explained that I was struggling with eating, and that it wasn't like an anorexia thing just that I was struggling with thinking it was like safe to eat and that i didn't exactly know why I was struggling with it but yeah

so I brought up the insect thing or maybe that I was just anxious because I'm seeing a therapist on the 24th (which is the first time I'm seeing a therapist in like idk 5 years) but that I didn't know why exactly I'm struggling with food

and anyway my grandma was like "okay I get it" when I brought up the insect thing

then she went into a whole thing about how I don't have it as bad as she had it because when she was younger her siblings used to tell her things crawled over her food and that she had to stay with someone else because it got so bad for her that she had to be treated for like malnourishment

and like okay sure I don't have her experiences with like that but still like I'm struggling and ??? why is she making it into a competition

anyway so she at least did say she'd help by like trying to make food bland and stuff so I wouldn't have to worry about it which is nice but still HSDGFKSHD

honestly I go between just absolutely hating my grandma and like thinking she's okay, I lowkey wish she'd just see a therapist and work through her shit rather than like -

anyway that's a tangent but haha yeah vent :)

#vent

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critical-thinking-is-mandatory · 3 years ago

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Emilie Agreste not even a character. She just a bigger "sad point" for Adrien and Gabriel to make sure for the audience that they are "Super sad" and we need to sympthatize with them

She supposed to be super-duper important on series since she ever use peacock miraculous.... But the show didn't have effort to make a flashback dedicate about her past instead make unnecessary model and filler of Love-Scare 🙄

literally. not to keep comparing ML to atla but the situation calls for it...

let's compare Emilie Agreste, and her depiction and her personality, with the absent/dead mothers in Avatar: the last Airbender, Kya and Ursa.

With Emilie Agreste we see:

her sister and nephew

her comatose body/corpse

pictures of her (in family portraits, photos and that one movie her family produced)

her living family talking about how sad they are she's gone

and we're told she used the Peacock Miraculous

It's not a lot to go on. In fact, it's fuck all. It tells us more about Adrien and Gabriel than it does about Emilie. aka it tells us they're so sad :((( nothing else not even why her being gone would make them sad just that they're so uwu sad :(((

Comparing that with atla and the two major absent/dead mothers:

Kya (Katara and Sokka's mother):

frequently talked about, most often by Katara trying to establish a deeper connection with others over a similar trauma

depicted in a flashback in the episode the Southern Raiders

the effect of her absence is clearly seen in the mannerisms of Katara, Sokka, Hakoda and Kanna (Grangran)

the effect of her absence and the effect on Katara specifically is spoken about in-depth in the episode The Runaway between Sokka and Toph.

And moving on to Ursa (Zuko and Azula's mother):

appears in a series of flashbacks in the episode Zuko Alone

alluded to in the episode The Crossroads of Destiny (possibly The Guru not 100% certain)

spoken of in Azula's infamous line in the episode The Beach "My own mother...thought I was a monster"

we see Ursa again in Azula's hallucinations during the finale of the show

and then there's the post-series comics which we don't talk about :)))

already there's a pretty big difference between the Avatar mothers and Emilie.

for one thing? we never ever ever see Emilie do anything. no flashbacks, no quirky family photos or videos, nothing but Adrien's word on how "she was the only one who could make me laugh like that" and how terribly sad that makes poor ickle Adrikins feel.

With Kya (who is arguably my favourite of the two Avatar mums) we get to see her in one flashback which is honestly really fuckin heart-breaking to watch. link below ->

youtube

and Kya? she's on her knees, a Fire Nation soldier in her home demanding to know where the last Waterbender is so that they may be taken prisoner and have unspeakable horrors inflicted upon them, and she looks that soldier in the eye and refuses to even hint that the Waterbender is her daughter. this is a scene that's barely a minute long and we learn that Kya was: loving, brave, level-headed, selfless, intelligent, caring and I will repeat it: brave. all of this builds an image of someone the audience could care about, and does care about, even if only for the sake of Katara, Sokka and Hakoda.

Ursa on the other hand is given a slightly more delicate approach, and characterised within a small handful of flashbacks or visions, each coloured by the eyes of either Zuko or Azula and how they perceived their mother.

In Zuko's flashbacks (link below ->) we see a lot more of Zuko, Ursa and Azula interacting, which hints to the audience at Ursa's difficult situation and the different ways she felt about her children.

youtube

with Zuko, she's soft, very loving. playful, but also firm. and within 50 seconds of her first appearance we're hinted towards a plot idk if 'twist' is the right word, but basically lays the first hints that she is not only Ursa (bear) in name.

all in all, for most of it she is shown to be a fairly standard mother, encouraging her children to spend time together, to be kind and respectful to their family and to animals, even if she does seem to favour Zuko more and is rougher with Azula.

further into the flashback the situation becomes clearer. Azula is the child favoured by Ozai, Azula and Ursa's relationship is tense for a number of reasons, and of course, we see Ursa is willing to commit regicide to protect her children. so to sum up:

we see Ursa is: kind, gentle without being a pushover, unhappy, determined, loving, level-headed and willing to commit murder.

she's a full, complete person, much like Kya, whilst still only being depicted in brief flashbacks.

let's bring this back to Emilie now that the competitors are clearer:

she is only spoken about when we're required to feel sad about Adrien and/or Gabriel. she and her twin sister dress the same. she starred in a movie her family produced that no one has ever seen or heard of.

she has no substance. her effect on her family is: they're sad uwu and Gabrikins is gonna be a supervillain now. for all her personality and impact on the story she may as well have been a mannequin or perhaps a hamster.

like instead of episodes like Kuro Neko or Stormy Weather 2.0 that were basically pointless filler and love square shilling we couldn't have gotten a single itty bitty teeny tiny little scene explaining why exactly Gabe is so dedicated to getting his dead wife back or why exactly Adrien is so sad about her being gone?

like would it seriously have killed the writers to give Emilie more substance as a motivator beyond "lifeless corpse that is pretty sometimes"??? the audience couldn't give a rat's asscrack about Emilie! and we've got no reason to believe Gabriel or Adrien actually care about her either.

if your main villain's motivation is 'get dead wife back' the least you can do is show us why she was so fuckin important to him in the first place.

#asks #anonymous #ml salt #ml writers salt #ml creators salt #adrien salt #gabriel salt #just in case because i know the stannies will be up in arms over this #atla #all in all if you're watching ml for: plot character or relationships your time would be better spent on the likes of spongebob #because at least spongebob is consistent 🙄#emilie agreste #emilie agreste has as much personality as a corpse <3 #and the only reason we're meant to care about her is because her being gone makes adrikins and gabrikins sad :(((

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goddessjynx · 3 years ago

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Any parent please answer?

Idk if anyone will see this, but right now I need just anyone to tell me I'm not crazy.

Am I a bad friend for wanting to hang out with my ex-bestie (eb for short) while she has her kids or she's busy and can't hang, so I offer to come over, to help watch, to help clean? Anything just to be there for her, why? Oh because she was on her third child, at this time I literally went over to her house to play dnd with her husband and brother and her sometimes. So I would try and say "hi" or talk, but instead we stayed doing something else or barely said hi. Ok, fine, hormones, got it. It got to the point of she wouldn't want to hang out with me for reasons she stopped telling me decent sounding excuses. Fine, That's fine, I have other friends who I can hang with or find other things to stay inside and not get out of the house to do. I don't need to leave the house, to get away from the suffocating inside the house with a mentally and verbally abusive, controlling husband. That's. Just. Fine.

So you know, time goes on. we find out that the reason she won't hang out with me, but will hang out with the other girl who she hates (Mind you the other chick literally broke into their house, tried to start drama all the time, and be hazardous to her already two children But who am I to judge about the person you rant to me about how you hate them so much?) But the other chick was also pregnant after divorcing her wife. It's honestly such a mess. So "anyways, I get excluded now because I "Don't understand what she's going through" or "I won't have the same experience" or I'm "not a good source of help" Lol, Okay? I still can't help? Be happy for you? Cool. So things go on, and just things have gotten worse on my end. I'm over here with such a mind debilitating baby fever, that I'm having to pull my car over watching children get off the school bus because I'm in such a crying fit that I can't breathe or see straight. So who the hell would I go to about what do I do? My Bestie right? (There's a reason we are eb rn) I tell her, well try, Idk how much she actually listened. But I tell her how I just can't think about anything else right now. I did everything right, and the world keeps slapping me back.

I own a 4 bedroom house. we have two cars, we even have decently everything working out in our favor, But all of a sudden, I'm not good enough for anyone. My own husband two months after getting married said he hasn't found me attractive for the last two years. THAnks. That's a real boost. This didn't start the fights, but that's a whole other set of rants. about a year before my eb got pregnant, around or right before July 4th, I strictly remember, I was in the walmart fucking bathroom. I had felt so sick the weeks beforehand. Like, My menstrual cycle hates me. She's savage af. Not to mention she likes to disappear randomly and appear with just cramps or a whole flood. I never know. But I remember calling my husband in a panic because I don't know what to do while I had to go to the bathroom so bad it hurt, and all I have is half dollar sized clots. Just something my medical brain, and senior year of AP biology says, "Fuck!" I have him figure something out because I'm really needing someone to just hold me in the bathroom I feel so sick to my stomach. I'm dizzy and all these symptoms I tell him to tell the doctor or whoever he calls.. So he calls, they say whatever to him. I don't either remember or he never told me what they said, (this is a normal of hiding information from me, A LOT) They said (What he told me) to just wipe things up and clean up then if it persists in the next 24 hours to go into the hospital. But I will have to see an ob-gyn.

So, Okay. Nothing bad. but they are in charge of everything along those lines. But those were including two words, that I now know were the two words this man didn't want to hear despite, DESPITE all the teasing and jokes about having kids with me when I was younger with him and literally just dating. That was because I had to see a family planning doctor. I was told by HIM that it was nothing, and we will be fine. I just blamed it on my cramps that are horrible and never put thought to it because I had believed that's what he was told. So that's a trauma my brain locked away until recently as I'm going through my divorce right now. But, I was thinking about how shortly after that, I got a call from my eb about how they were all waiting on me because I'm making us late for bringing stuff to the grill out and bonfire later. Fine, mask all the pain and keep fucking going. right?

She seemed genuinely not worried, saying it was probably just a bad cycle. She gets them all the time too. Its whatever. My now bestie's sister has gone through the same thing I described multiple times, enough that she looked at me and was like, "No, You possibly miscarried." even her mom went on about, "they should've never NEVER brushed that off like they did. If they cared then they would've made sure you were ok. My husband denied me from going to the doctor to see anything about it. Even after when I knew my hormones and emotions were just soooo off. But that's in my mind now, when before maybe around the same time my eb came out saying to all of us even her own husband one time saying she's been feeling crummy because she went in and she found out she had miscarried. It was so short after my stuff that she disregarded then took and made attention for herself that upset her own husband because she never told him until she told a bunch of us at a bar. I mean I felt bad for her, but Now thinking back, my gut says it was a ploy to make her husband to feel bad for her and to try for another one. Where as I'm over here waiting patiently because I jumped through Hoops to get where I'm at now.

My husband promised me children. Lots, its a fucking dream to be a mum. I care for everyone else, and their kids, why not have some kind of mini me to show of what I did. That I did good. That I can be useful to this world too. That I'm not just a lump of no good nothing to this world. But first, he needed a better paying job than a gas station.

Did that, he worked at a metal parts production place. But we then gave the fact that we still live in the apartment I got after moving out from high school. We rented a house. It worked, and it was nice. But now he needs a car, but he cant do that until he learns how to drive. 3 years older than me and I taught him how to drive. AND I helped him buy his first car, a truck. Oh but now, we still can't start a family. We are only renting. I have enough good credit that I could get a house alone, but I needed a higher pay. Bam with his income together we got a house.

Bam, I'm hit with baby fever and what not. NOW I get told, we aren't ready for anything like that yet, so wait two years. Alright, I'll wait. I can do that. We were going to go on trips together and do many things together and all of a sudden, the walmart thing happened, and it just got worse from there. It got to a point I got a job paying BETTER than him and I was the laughing stock to him and his buddies. THANKS. But I'm fine, everything is fine. The walmart thing was about two years after, so I mean, it was actually in the time frame and whatnot. Things just kept going on getting worse at home, I just kept listening. For reasons, I had to quit my high paying job, and then everything got absolutely horrible at home. Had to put everything I had control over money wise into his account for he worried it would take too long to find an new job and make money to suffice for bills. It was argument after argument, but I went to my eb explaining things, asking what the hell do I do? Her advice? To just do what he wants. The thing I had to quit about? She basically never cared about it. Everything just went on being a mess. I went on just letting people walk over me because that was the advice I was given.

I voiced my feelings that I have been following lies and how I feel hurt that I'm told dreams and having them be taken away. We never went on trips much. Instead we would buy a crap ton of ammo or new guns that I'm not allowed to use, yet I'm helping fund so you can get them, but when it was my own that I BOUGHT, all of a sudden, my things went missing and he would be out using and letting his buddies use my new guns and using up the ammo I had purchased on my own. I mean, fine, but let me at LEAST take yours out if you're going to use mine without asking. It got to be so annoying that we would be asked when we would get married or when we would have kids. He would be hugging me and smiling all cocky saying "Oh well we haven't stopped trying." every time. He would start that tell people this and I finally had enough. I stopped him and told him to put his money where his mouth was. He always said shit but never actually did it or acted on what he said. He would just lie to everyone. Tell people lies because it sounded nice. Best part? I had bought a ring for him. I proposed to him because he would joke about things like that. So I basically said, "bet" and did it. I have never received a damn ring! He wouldn't even want to look at them with me. Because they were expensive. Not all of them are. I don't care what price it is, but something to say, "Hey, I love you and Don't want the odd peeps at the bar to keep hitting on you so take this with you, its dangerous out there." (Shut up. I'm a nerd) But like.... I just would make notions about, I wanted a ring. He would beg me to pool together money and buy new guns, I mean I"m not against, but I would bring up that I will want a ring. Or even something else would be you know, amazing right now because I'm in a lost place wanting kids still and my eb just announced they were having their third. (which her own family was so upset about it that they ranted to me and my mom, her own brother said that its just another kid that they will end up taking care of instead of her so she can go to the bars again. Yep) So next we talked about getting a gun safe because, before we can have kids, we need to be SAFE. Ight, we bought it. Nice matte black 33 capacity, fire and water proof, best part the front had a reallly pretty engraved waving American flag imprinted on it. It was just so smooth. (Guess who has that right now btw) So oddly enough in the middle of me not being enough for my eb, My cycle kind of returned to being semi regular, and all of a sudden disappeared. Well that whole month beforehand we went from never wanting to touch me unless it was my birthday to every night he was angry after work and took it out on me instead. I mean, whatever. But when it came to me not feeling well, I told him.

Instantly it wasn't mine. I was fooling with other guys. Like instant psycho. His childhood friend came and moved up with us, she saw this for a good few months and had to move out because he was trying to control her as if she were a child. She told me that it was not right for him to be that way and that she will never talk to him for how he treated her. (which was exactly how he was always with me too) I'm not sure if he was trying to get my jealous because his bff was a girl? Idk we worked out like literally sisters. Sooo much in common and she told me, She believes he's never wanted kids. And she watched how I broke down after he told me he wanted nothing to do with me until I took a test. He DEMANDED that I took a test right away. If it was positive, it wasn't his until proven so. And if it was negative he would be fine. this was ridiculous. He wasn't at all happy or excited. Purely upset. I felt so shitty that after the test was negative I told him and he threatened about it happening again he was leaving back to Kansas. He threatened this every damn fight, it got to the point that I gave up, I said leave then. And instantly he shut up. I got him out of gangs, crime, jail, living on the street or with his mum, and being a maaajor drug addict. Yet I'M THE BAD PERSON.

Back to recently when my eb is getting closer to having her kid, I just go through finding out I'm not and my husband is freaking out at me, nonstop yelling at me that I'm not good enough and all this shit. Yes, lil ol me trying to keep the peace in the house is a cunt and a whore. Wow. Name calling, but hitting where it hurts? I told him before, how my mother in an argument said I would be a horrible mother. And that shit sticks. IT STICKS. So what does the smart ass pull out? He repeats it. He says he's glad I'm not pregnant because I'd be a horrible mother in the end.

That. That just kills a person. That kills dreams and the feeling of wanting to keep living. Who the FUCK says that to their partner? Am I wrong for thinking that's not right? Well my eb thought I was. I told her my feelings. How I don't want to be jealous of her, but I am. That she's more beautiful, she's always had guys hitting on her in school inviting her to do things and hang out, I was the nerd in whatever class that got invited only if it was mandatory. She will be having three kids and a loving husband that can never take his hands or eyes from her, where as I have to act like a clown to get my husband to look up from his damn phone. To say something nice. To

be acknowledged while in the house. I've left and came back the next morning because I hung out at my now besties house. He didn't say a word until I came home the next morning and he looked at me like "when the fuck did you leave" No care, no love. I was stuck being a burden. Anything I ever did around the house was in vain. Everything I helped with I got shoved away because I didn't do it right. EVERYTHING I did was not good enough. I would tell him this that is how I felt and he would deny it. One day, I caught him yelling at me saying that what I did wasn't ever good enough. Calle him out right away. Bitch... He tried to change the wording to go around what he said. I HEARD IT. it was so bad I had to have my bestie on the phone to listen to how he talked to me behind closed doors. Away from public view. HER MOM HEARD IT. Thought she was watching some kind of dramatic show, until she realized it was me on the phone. She's listened to so many calls its unheard of. There was a day, I had enough of it. (Ok A lot actually) but I grabbed my laptop and my charger and left the house. I sat in the park drawing on my laptop. Texted every person I could think of that I cared so deeply for that they would care for me back. I was in a dark ass place asking for Advice. My eb shrugged off what my husband was doing and scolded me for leaving. For sitting in a park drawing out my feelings instead of being with him because he's being dramatic to her husband upset that I started an argument. I didn't understand what I started when it was over me telling him not to throw the controller when he loses a COD game because that's how it breaks. Why he threw it? Because I distracted him by playing with my cat while he was playing the damn game and made him lose! yep. Exactly that. So I was yelled at to quit. So I did. I went back to my drawing and then with my headphones on I was humming to my music. It distracted him and he lost. So I flipped out because I can't do anything in my own house without being scolded for it. So I stormed off to the bedroom to draw some more. I'm upstairs and away from him. Didn't want to eat now I'm stressed and upset. So I didn't cook anything and now he's hungry and upset at me for not making food yet. YES. That's how it started and I again was the bad person in the story for safely removing myself from an environment where all my mind was telling me to do was dark things that hurt to say. To give up on everything I have worked for and all my dreams.

That was the last time I spoke to her for a while because everything started to be only about baby and about doing this for baby. Doing that for baby. But then she would never answer me back. I was done trying to fit time to hang out. To do something, I made new friends who didn't have kids and hung out more with them. It got horrible. the sound of a child crying made my stomach hurt. I had non stop dreams of the same thing happening. It was just awful. I looked it up and it was just meaning I had something and lost it. Whatever is missing in the dream what what I had lost.

In this dream I was dressed in all black, lace and long dress covering every inch of skin on my body. I had a hat with a veil and I was rocking a bundle in my arms in an old decrepit room with peeling paint and broken toys. It was a nursery. An old ruined nursery. I was rocking just a black blanket swaddled with a hole that emptied to the void. It gives me chills, I get this dream so much that me explaining just makes my skin crawl and my body ache. It hurts to think of but I just cannot understand it. Makes sense now that I looked into it.

But me going through all of this, I can't talk to my husband about my feelings because I'm too needy and being selfish for not taking his feelings into an account. That he's not ready that we are not ready and that I'm not ready because I'm going to be a horrible mom. Cool.

I have tried so much. I couldn't be around kids. It made me so sick and I jus would have to find somewhere to hide and cry for hours. I would cry myself to sleep. Never getting comfort by him because I'm throwing a pity party. I was so hurt. Still am. I'm broken hearted. Thinking that if I had a kid, at least I would have something that needed me and would love the care I gave and would love me back. I wanted to feel loved for how much I put out in the world. I wanted to have something to ground me to this world before I did something stupid. I was in such a dark place that I drove an hour to go see my bestie because I was scared that I was going to do it. That I was going to be the big disappointment he told me I would always be. Three months later, baby is here and I go back to playing dnd with my friends and its at their house. My husband is rubbing it in my face. He's holding baby and talking to baby and doing all these things making my mind break. He asks if I want to hold her. If i if iififififi NO.

I can't I cannot. I'm trying to be respectful. I missed out on other games because I had to hype myself up. I procrastinated because I didn't know how I would be or if I could handle it. I got to the point that my eb's husband told me that he doesn't want me playing anymore because I sent a text trying to apologize to my now eb that I feel so bad but I can't see her right now since seeing her kids just sends me into a panic attack and I can't stop thinking horrible things. So she takes that as I have a problem with HER kids and not just the KIDS situation. Doesn't hear me out. blames me for everything and has me banned from coming over. in which her husband says he doesn't want me over anymore. Which my rebuttal is because she's telling him only. But he said it was his choice. I don't know don't care. It just hurt that THATS the reason I got kicked out. Not because I was good, but that I couldn't handle their kids. And I would not pay attention by drawing the whole time. I was distracting myself because I'm trying to drown out the noises of cooing making my gut rot and my mouth dry. So by all means I'm selfish for wanting a dream that I was being promised for the last 6 years of physically being with my soon to be ex. I've know for actually 12 years. And that I drove 15 hours to bring you to me since you couldn't drive.

So I need to know from real parents, was I out of line for telling my eb that I had feelings and that them not being heard or just cast to the side hurt? Am I crazy for feeling that I've been robbed? For being upset when my husband comes home drunk and abuses me? For being hurt when I'm called all sorts of names and told I'm worthless by the man I should trust the most? Please. I need to know.

I know I'm ranting, but I need to get it out. I need to find some sort of something to figure out why I'm feeling this way, or why I don't know what to do with myself anymore. I'm fighting for the divorce since i haven't been to my owned house in the last 5 months since he changed the locks on me. I moved an hour away from my home and my family and still to this day, I hurt to hear or watch children around me. I'm happy, but inside something aches and just feels empty. Not to mention that I got told by people that know me that he's been caught buying condoms. We are still technically married, and he can't be doing those things right now. Am I jealous? Upset? Hurt? All of the above? It just sucks and I'm drowning in debt a bit trying to work my ass off to get where I want in life again since all of everything has been ripped from me. I'm trying. Please let me know if I'm crazy or out of line? I want to be heard. I'm going to start to save up. I have a plan for my 27th birthday. If it doesn't work in time for my 28th birthday, I'm not sure what else I can do but join the 27 club.

#send help #please reblog #mental health #parents #mother #father #moms #family #reblog #important #self care #self love #self help #self esteem #self healing #my story

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alwaysahiccupandastrid · 4 years ago

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His Dark Materials - Season 2 Episode 7 *FINALE* (Thoughts and Rambles)

We have a LOT to unpack here oh my god oh my god

When I say I was screaming and yelling during the episode, I mean I was LITERALLY screaming and yelling

This post is mostly screeching and capital letters, you’ve been warned

“So cold” “life or death meant nothing” - well shit. Accurate description of a Spectre attack damn

I didn’t know what those creepy noises were at first and I was sat here absolutely TERRIFIED because it was creepy as fuck. Then I realized it was cliff ghasts because they said something that I recognized from the book and I was like “oh shit”

Pan and Will talking is the sweetest omg

The fact that Pan told him that Lyra thinks he’s as brave as King Iorek Byrnison :’)

“She’s the best friend I’ve ever had” “You’re her best friend too” - STOP, MY HEART

Lyra was awake and heard the whole conversation :3

“I’m no longer an aeronaut” :( “I’m an insect” - LMAO

Hester and Lee’s banter remains my favourite thing and now it’s bittersweet tbh...

“You could never be an insect, Lee” “Okay, hare” - bless them

Marisa finding where Lyra was staying and then finding Lyra’s coat?? And crying with it pressed to her face?? :’(

In case I haven’t mentioned it already, I am incredibly gay for the witches/their aesthetic/costume. Absolutely beautiful queens, all of them

Oh hi, it’s Mary and the two kids!

The fact that Mary helped them find their adults :’)

Also, “We like you miss” - BLESS

I’m kind of confused as to whether the blue flower petals are important or if it’s just her smelling them? IDK

“I’m close to my father, it’s time I found him” - OOF OKAY UMM ARE YOU SURE

“I let my best friend down” - Noooo Lyra, no you didn’t! :( Your dad is a terrible parent and killed him, that’s not your fault!

“Maybe this is how I let you down” - Well done, Asriel and Marisa, you’ve fucked up a perfectly fine child is what you’ve done

Will telling Lyra that she hasn’t let him down :3

That witch turning up because she was trying to warn Marisa about the spectres, only for Marisa to torture and kill her... oof

FUCKING MONKEY I CAN’T DECIDE HOW I FEEL ABOUT HIM

“She’s MY daughter” - Okay, damn, lady...

“EVE. She’s the mother of all” - OH FUCK YOU TOLD HER. OH FUCK OH FUCK OH FUCK

THE SPECTRE ATE HER DÆMON OMG NO THIS IS HORRIFYING WTAF

Seriously, the way the witch went so grey and lifeless and just fell to her knees and down... Urgh, my stomach is turning

Just when I thought I hated the monkey again, he starts whimpering because he’s afraid of the Spectres :(

“Stop whimpering” - DAMN MARISA YOU ARE A STONE COLD BITCH HUH

Pan being the damn voice of reason and telling Lyra they should stay with the witches like yes, Lyra, listen to him for once!!!

Okay but why are the Magisterium soldiers lowkey dressed like German soldiers from one of the World Wars???

I’m not really surprised that BBC left out the detail of Ruta and Asriel fucking when she found him to be honest XD

So the witches think that the Æsahættr is a person but it’s actually the KNIFE. AND THEY DON’T REALIZE. RUTA YOU DON’T NEED TO GO ANYWHERE, IT’S LITERALLY RIGHT THERE

“...That’s not my dæmon.” “Run.” - OH SHIT OKAY MY WHOLE BODY JUST TENSED UP

So umm Lee got shot and FUCK NO FUCK NO I’M NOT READY FOR THIS EMOTIONALLY THANKS

I LITERALLY DO NOT WANT THIS TO HAPPEN OKAY

“You’re either with me or against me” Umm he’s your dæmon?!?!

THE WAY SHE SCREAMED AT HIM OH MY GOD SHE’S FUCKING TERRIFYING HOLY CRAP

“What are you frightened of?” - oh, I don’t know, Marisa, maybe because YOU FUCKING SCREECHED AT HIM. MAYBE HE’S FRIGHTENED OF YOU

Also I love the detail of Marisa getting onto her hands and knees, sort of crouching and mirroring the monkey’s body language. I just love the parallel

The way the monkey flinched from her when she went to touch him omg :( No dæmon should be THIS afraid of their person (or at all?!?!)

Honestly, I find this series’ portrayal of Marisa fascinating tbh

“We have to do whatever it takes to keep her safe” - Umm, like maybe drugging her and hiding her in a cave for months? 🤔

Also in case I didn’t say this before, the fact she has complete control of the Spectres is fucking scary and always has been from the very first time I read the books

Okay so Lee is fully aware that he’s going to die if he stays behind but he does it because he knows that it’s the best chance of making sure that Lyra ends up under the knife’s protection (because Jopari will find her). All Lee wants is for Lyra to be safe and that hurts my heart so much, he loves this child so much :’(

“I love that little girl like a daughter” - LEE STOP MY HEART IS ALREADY BREAKING AS IT IS

NO NO NO NO I AM NOT AND NEVER WILL BE READY

Oh hey Red PAN-da (sorry I know I keep repeating that joke but honestly LOOK AT HIM)

“Once I change, you’ll stop changing” - OH SHIT. So we’re having THAT conversation then

“What do you think you’ll be?” “A flea I hope” - LMFAO I LOVE IT

“Is it Will that’s changing you?” “I think” - FORESHADOWING FOR AMBER SPYGLASS ANYONE?!

All the meanwhile, while Lee is dying and shit is going down, Ms Mary Malone is just chilling in a cave on a mountain by a waterfall, just reading

I literally struggled to watch Lee’s final scenes. I literally didn’t want to watch it because I cried reading it in the book, and I knew I’d be the same here

The fact that Lee HATES taking away people’s lives but he says “it’s theirs or Lyra’s”... I love him. He loves her so much.

“Think about anything, think about bacon!” - LMFAO I LOVE YOU HESTER YOU ABSOLUTE GEM

THE BULLET CLIPPED HIS SCALP AND I HAD A HEART ATTACK

“This is my fault, isn’t it?” - NO HESTER NO DON’T YOU DARE BLAME YOURSELF DARLIN’, YOU ARE THE BEST AND WE LOVE YOU AND LEE LOVES YOU

I do this everytime I read the book and I did here even though I know what happens, but I was praying mentally that maybe Serafina would reach Lee in time... just maybe...

I’m really sitting here crying over Hester and Lee on a Sunday night, love that for me

Hester limping :(

“Don’t you go before I do” - FUCK YOU BBC AND PHILIP I’M SOBBING MY EYES OUT

“Oh how far we flew” - STOP IT. STOP IT RIGHT FUCKING NOW I SWEAR-

I literally yelled and cried out “NOOO” when Hester faded away and Lee died. I am so upset even though I KNEW it was coming. I am literally not okay.

Oh god no Will, now is not the time to be walking away from Lyra and that witch

Also why is that witch asleep on guard?? Come on, love, do better, it’s not like these are the two most important children in all the universes....

To be fair to Marisa, I’d feel pretty invincible if I were climbing up a mountain while the Spectres were guarding me/on my side

WILL AND JOHN FINALLY MET AHHHH

“I was told I’d find my father here” - YEAH AND THAT’S HIM WILL ASDFGHJKL;

I’m low-key disappointed that there’s no brawl between Will and Jopari here. Like they instantly recognize each other and... hmm. I know there has to be changes but still.

“Your mother, Will, where is she?” - Awww. John really didn’t stop loving her :’)

“My son... is the Knife Bearer” - oooooohhhhhhh

“You have a dæmon” - that’s right, Will. Don’t worry, you’ll get one next season

The way I audible went “oh shIT” when Mrs Coulter found Lyra fast asleep. Like I said, I knew what was going to happen but STILL

I’m not really surprised that those Spectres killed the witch who was supposed to be guarding Lyra and Will tbh like that’s what happens when only ONE witch guards two teenagers and that witch falls asleep

The way that Lyra panicked when she woke up and saw her mother stroking her cheek omg

Off topic but I’ve only just realized that Jopari has a fucking man-bun LMFAO OKAY

The fact that Jopari tried to get back to Will and Elaine but couldn’t will always hurt me

“And you chose these people over your family?” - I MEAN-

“I’ve thought about you every day.” - Awww

So John tells Will that he has to go to Asriel and bring him the knife, and he tells him all about the war that’s coming and I have LITERAL chills because I’m so ready

“And then we go home?” “... And then we go home.” - RIP MY HEART OUT, IT WOULD HURT LESS

“I’m not strong enough” - yes you are, Will! I promise you, you are! And Jopari says, “Both of us were brought here” - exactly! You were brought there for a reason by fate or whatever you want to call it!

“Your duty was to be my father” - WILL REALLY CAME FOR HIS DAD LIKE THAT I GUESS

“Look what you’ve become without me” - Oh my god, just when I thought I wasn’t going to cry again

JOPARI HUGGING WILL, SEEING THE SOLDIER AIMING, AND THEN PUTTING HIMSELF BETWEEN THEM SO HE TOOK THE BULLET INSTEAD OF WILL ASDFGHJKL;

So in the book, Jopari is killed by a scorned witch who had once asked him to be her lover, but he had turned her down (because of Elaine and Will obviously), and she kills Jopari in front of Will and then he kills her (I think?). But here it’s just a soldier leftover from the Lee vs Magisterium fight, so... yeah. Kind of a little peeved about the change personally but whatever I guess.

“The night is full of angels, they will guide you now” - AHHHHH

Also, might just be me, but maybe that line would have been slightly more impactful if the scene had taken place at night

This show really said “fuck healthy parental figures” I guess

Except Will’s mum, she’s the best and if anything were to happen to her we’d all riot

SAYAN KÖTÖR FADING AWAY NOOOO I HATE SEEING DÆMONS DIE

Okay, last little gripe, but I just wanted to say that in the book, Will doesn’t realize it’s his dad until literally the last second before his dad dies - like they both realize and then BAM, Jopari is killed. And while I do love the father-son reunion, I am kind of annoyed by the change because it was such a huge punch in the gut in the book that Will searches for so long for his dad, only to lose him the second he finds him.

Serafina finding Lee’s body and kissing his forehead was yet another punch in the gut, thanks Pullman/BBC/BadWolf

The fact that Will had to bury his dad :(

Also, WILL WEARING JOPARI’S JACKET OH MY GOD MY HEART

Oof that shot of his amputated fingers...

So the narration, when it started I thought it was Jopari at first, like from one of his letters... but then as it continued, I went “hang on”, and then I said outloud “wait, is that ASRIEL?!”

DID MARISA REALLY PUT LYRA IN A FUCKING TRUNK?!? BITCH ARE YOU OKAY?!?

Will putting his hood up like his dad did just hits differently

Okay so um ASRIEL HI I WASN’T EXPECTING TO SEE YOU THIS SEASON OH MY GOD THE SCREAM I LET OUT

HIS MONOLOGUE BY THE WAY IS FUCKING ART AND A MASTERPIECE BUT I WAS TOO BUSY CRYING OVER JAMES MCAVOY TO WRITE THE WHOLE MONOLOGUE DOWN

Oh, hi Stelmaria!

It always makes me scream that this man is not only Lord Asriel now but he’s also fucking Mr Tumnus and MOTHERFUCKING BILL DENBROUGH LIKE HOW IS THIS MAN INVOLVED IN SO MANY OF MY FANDOMS?!?

ANGELS ANGELS OH MY FUCKING GOD-

“We stand with you, Asriel Belacqua” - AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

“Let us prepare for war” - FUUUUUUUUCK

(I was deadly serious when I said this was just me screaming and crying by the way)

I’m still reeling over the fact that Marisa put her daughter in a fucking trunk. Like I get you can’t exactly carry a drugged child about in the open but Jesus Christ, love, really?!?

Also Ruth Wilson / Marisa Coulter in a headscarf? *chef kiss*

The way that the screen went to black as she put the lid on the trunk down - SHIT OH SHIT GOOSEBUMPS

THE CREDIT SONG IS SO BEAUTIFUL BECAUSE IT HAS FUCKING ANGELS NOW I’M-

I WASN’T EXPECTING THE POST CREDITS SCENE OH MY GOD

ROGER?! ROGER! IT’S ROGER I’M NOT OKAY-

BBC YOU CANNOT JUST DROP THAT ON US LIKE THAT FUCK-

“What is this place?” - I’M SCREAMING SO LOUD I CAN’T HOLD IT IN

For anyone unaware, the reason I’m screaming so loud over the post-credits scene is because in TAS, while Lyra is drugged and in a groggy sleep, she has these visions of Roger talking to her from the Land of the Dead, which then later leads to her and Will actually GOING to the Land of the Dead and... well, the rest is even HUGER spoilers but YEAH I’M NOT OKAY.

Honestly, I’m just so happy and emotional because I’ve been waiting over a decade for a decent adaptation of not only NL but for TSK and TAS too, and we’re 2/3 there now. Just one more book/series to go... I wish we could have it now. I really hope that filming for the final one starts ASAP because if we have to wait two years just to see the conclusion to this series, I might cry.

This series is so amazing, and this season especially has been so incredible to watch. It’s been the highlight of my week for seven weeks, and I have no idea what I’ll do with my Sundays now that it’s over. I’ve asked for the DVD for S2 for my birthday already (since it comes out 29th December and my birthday is 13th January... just saying), and words can’t describe how much I do love this series. I know it sounds hollow since I say it about so many things I’m into, but this was such a huge part of my childhood and it’s one of my favourite fantasy series of all time. It’s truly one of the most incredible pieces of literature and now it’s making for incredible television... I love it so much.

#hdm #his dark materials #lyra belacqua #lyra silvertongue #marisa coulter #will parry #lee scoresby #hester #pantalaimon #jopari #john parry #lord asriel #serafina pekkala

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ourloveisforthelovely · 4 years ago

Text

One Chance (one shot)

Harry Potter Marauders Era

Request: hey so i was thinking could you might do a regulus x reader where the reader is like sassy or maybe all cold hearted? i honestly love ur page but i cant never relate with the reader bc she is always too soft 😭 maybe like if they understood each others depression and then end up falling in love? idk how to explain

To the annon who requested this: I hope that you enjoy

Pairings: Regulus Black x Reader

Rating: M

_____________

“Y/n, Regulus Black has been looking at you for the past 10 minutes.”

You didn’t bother looking up from your potions book when your friend Anastasia spoke. The last thing that you wanted to deal with was Regulus Black and his stupid good looks.

“He needs to look somewhere else.”

You commented. Regulus Black had been staring at you a lot lately and it was beginning to get under your skin. Before a few weeks ago Regulus had nothing to do with you. It didn’t matter that the two of you had always been in the same house for the past 6 years or that the two of you had friends in the same circle. In fact, he took extra measure to not speak to you.

The best that you could come up with was he was uncomfortable with you going on a date with his old brother. Your heart hurt thinking about that particular time in your life. That was when you were an innocent sweet 4th year. Sirius dated you for all of a week before dumping you for some pretty Ravenclaw with blond hair and big boobs.

This was also the time that your depression really started kicking in. You weren't quite sure how to deal with all of the feelings swirling through your head. From dealing with your first break up to all of these dark and intrusive thoughts...you didn’t know how to cope. None of your friends seemed to understand either. A few of them chose to ignore what you were going through. The rest didn’t know how to deal with constant sarcastic comments. Now you had a few that stuck with you because it was in their best interest. If someone bothered them, you would chew the miserable fuckers ass out that caused them grief. This was a healthier outlet than sinking a knife into your arm.

Being at home was no better. Your mum tried to constantly get you off of the couch to do things but she didn’t seem to understand that you wanted nothing to do with whatever she was doing. Her words of…

“Stop lying on the couch like a giant hairball and do something. Go enjoy the day.”

Apparently you mother didn’t understand that you definition of “enjoying the day” meant being left the fuck alone.

That is one of the reasons that you preferred being at school. You could find peaceful places to be left alone.

Anastasia spoke again, pulling you from your thoughts.

“He probably thinks that you are pretty, Y/n. You really are a lovely girl.”

“Go get your eyes checked. Anna, I have as much luck with boys as a turtle does crossing the road.”

You muttered as the bell rang.

Not a moment too soon.

You thought as you stood to gather up your things. You were getting away from Anastasia and her mind numbing questions. Walking to the door you ran into a hard body.

Looking up, Regulus Black had turned around to just who the fuck ran into him. He blinked a few times the moment that your eyes met.

“Watch where you are going, Black.”

You hissed. Regulus automatically frowned.

“You ran into me.”

“So, you aren’t moving fast enough?”

You replied, not missing a beat. Regulus seemed a bit surprised by your comment. He wasn’t for sure why you were hostile toward him. In all of the years that he had known you, with the exception of year 1 and 2, you acted like he had personally fucked you over.

Regulus couldn’t help admitting that you were a lovely girl but your sarcastic hostile nature was a bit off putting. He had decided the year before just to avoid you at all costs. This year, however, he understood more about you. You were as depressed as he was. Regulus never understood it until this year.

Over the summer, Sirius ran off to James Potter’s abandoning his family. Regulus didn’t know how to put into words how he felt about it either. There was sinking in the middle of his stomach that never seemed to go away. It was there when he went to sleep at night and was waiting when he awoke the next morning. Regulus honestly never thought that he would be happy again.

He figured that returning to school would soothe those feelings. Regulus would be back with his best friends and would have no reason to think of Sirius. Unfortunately, the moment that he stepped into the great hall and saw his brother sitting at the Gryffindor table smiling and laughing. There was clearly no sadness in Sirius over the events of the summer. This sent Regulus into a deeper depression. His brother didn’t miss him and never would.

“You know most people just say excuse me and go on about their business.”

Regulus replied.

“Just get out of my way.”

You hissed and moved to get around him. Regulus honestly didn’t deserve your venom. He, after all, had done absolutely nothing to you.

He hasn’t done anything to you but you have no reason to trust him. Regulus will probably be just like his brother. You’ll get attached and have your heart broken.

You thought. It wasn’t fair to compare Regulus to Sirius when they were obviously such different people but you couldn’t help it. Most guys, no matter the house, was the same.

As you walked down the hall, you wanted nothing more than to have some time alone. You decided to walk down to the lake. A free period was just what you needed!

Sitting down, you took out a book and quietly began to read. It wasn’t until you were on paragraph two did you realize that someone was standing in front of you. Looking up, again your eyes met Regulus Black’s.

“What now, Black?”

You questioned. He put his hands on his hips feeling a bit annoyed. After the exchange in the potions, he decided that it was time for both of you to have a little chat.

“You and I need to talk.”

“Whatever about?”

You questioned as he sat down.

“I want to know why you hate me so bad?”

“I never said that I hated you.”

Regulus chuckled.

“Sure could have fooled me. You are always glaring at me like I personally offended you.”

You put your book down.

“I just don't like being oogled by some guy who is going to screw me over.”

Regulus raised an eyebrow.

“You don’t know me.”

“Yeah, I know your brother. All guys are the same so it doesn’t matter who you are.”

The response came out a little snipper than you planned. Standing up, you turned to storm back to the castle. Just who the fuck did Regulus think that he was? So what if he was a member of the Black family?

Woo-freaking-who.

“First, off you don’t know anything about me. I am nothing like my brother. If you would give me a bloody chance you would see that. I see what you are doing Y/n. I get it you use sarcasm and cold humor to cope. I do it too. As much as you want to come across as this tough girl who doesn’t need anyone, you're actually quite lonely…again I get it.”

You stopped before turning to face Regulus. He sat with his knees drawn to his chest. Dark eyes looked up at you with an intensity that you had never seen on his face before.

“I don’t like this, Regulus.”

He smirked.

“You don’t like someone figuring out who you are, Y/n. You don’t want people seeing that inside you are actually in pain. Again, I can relate.”

Regulus stood and walked down closer to the lake.

“My brother, who I know that you dated and I know he did you wrong, he abandoned our family over the summer. Now...everything is up to me. I am the only heir to the Black family. I have to do everything and I don’t fucking want to. I want to do whatever it is I want and there not be repercussions for my actions. However, that won’t be able to happen now.”

You frowned and watched him curiously.

“And why is that? Why can’t you just walk away? You’ll be an adult soon. Tell them to fuck off.”

Regulus laughed.

“If only it were that easy. You see my mother, she depends on me and I can’t let her down. If you knew my family, you would understand.”

You had heard plenty of rumors about the Black family. Regulus’ mother sounded like the typical pureblood mother. Maybe a bit darker than what your mother was but a pureblood mother all the same.

“I’m sure our families are very similar. Lovely bunch, purebloods.”

Regulus laughed bitterly at that. There wasn’t much that was lovely about being a pureblood when your mother was Walburga Black.

“Then you will understand why we have to do things that we don’t want to do. For example, being a death eater.”

“Regulus…”

He automatically pulled up his sleeve to show you the dark mark on his arm. Regulus wasn’t surprised when you made no facial expression. He had a feeling that you had seen your fair share of dark marks lately.

“My mother and father were okay with me doing it. Actually, they were quite proud that their son was doing the right thing...the just thing. I think I am too...at points. There are other times that I am not for sure. I see your face. You have the same expression. I bet you about 10 galleons, if you pull up your sleeves there are going to very similar cut marks...sometimes it gets too much.”

You looked down. For the first time, your tough exterior faded.

“You do it too...cut your wrists?”

Regulus nodded.

“Physical pain is better than mental pain, at times. Maybe we understand each other more than we thought?”

Your crossed arms slowly dropped to your sides.

“Maybe. We could also really hurt each other.”

Regulus’ hopeful smile fell.

“Or help each other. I don’t know what my brother did to you but I’m not him. Sirius and I have nothing in common except our last names. I mean, our last name is literally all that we have in common. You’ll get stupid bullshit with him. I’m on my A game. You wouldn’t have to guess what you were to me. All that you have to do is give me a chance. If it makes you feel better...I know where my brother is about this time of day and...well...sometimes Sirius isn’t so bright.”

You snorted.

“You could say that again. Fine, you have a chance. Don’t mess it up Regulus.”

Regulus held out his hand with a small smile. Something told you to be wary. The depressive side said, no but something deep inside of you said yes.

You reached out and wrapped your hand around Regulus’. He gave you a small smile before tugging in you with him.

“This is going to be funny.”

You slipped through quiet corridors behind Regulus as he checked for any “little eyes” that would get into his way. He finally stopped the moment that he saw Sirius and James standing in an empty hallway playing “exploding snap.”

Regulus lightly elbowed you in the side before grinning. He had his wand out and muttered something low. You weren’t able to make out what he said but it didn’t matter. It looked as if someone had a bucket of water and dumped it all over Sirius and James. Both boys jumped back looking around wildly as another explosion of water knocked them off of their feet. James hit the ground first. Sirius reached out to help his best friend only to get hit in the face with water for the third time. He was knocked off his feet and directly on top of James. His elbow crashing into James’ crotch. James howled in pain as Sirius started rubbing his head where he hit the stone floor.

“Pads, stop. You're killing me!”

James shrieked. Sirius was yelling about how truly sorry he was over and over.

You, meanwhile, had to hold back a fit of rare laughter. Regulus, himself, was grinning as he turned the floor to ice. Both James and Sirius were sliding all over the place all the while screaming curse words after curse words.

“Whoever you are! We are going to fuck you up!”

Sirius yelled as Regulus reached down and squeezed your hand.

“This is where we make our exit. They are going to be sliding around for a while.”

You ran after Regulus, until he pulled you into an empty classroom

“That was fun.”

He commented.

“Fucking brilliant. Watching them slide all over the place while looking like drowned ferrets was the best fun that I have had in awhile.”

Regulus smiled, giving you a cocky smile.

“That’s only the beginning. I have a lot better material...if you want to watch.”

You reached up and pulled the taller boy down by his tie. Regulus was clearly a bit surprised but leaned right into the kiss. When he pulled away, you tossed your hair over his shoulder.

“Watching is for babies. I want to help.”

______

@amelie-black

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#Regulus Black #Regulus Black x Reader #Sirius Black #James Potter #marauders au #annon request #timothee chalamet as regulus black #ben barnes as sirius black #aaron johnson as james potter #young marauders #regulus x r eader #reader x regulus #regulus arcturus black #sirius orion black #harry potter fan fiction #One Chance #Once Chance one shot #update

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randomsmilingpotatoes · 4 years ago

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alright here i am with my love victor opinions no-one asked for

- i was gonna originally do episode by episode commentaries but i'd seen a few spoilers and was scared i'd say something good about a bad character or something so didn't end up doing it asfgcjhvfkhj

- rahim is great but making him a love interest for victor was NOT it. a love triangle was not needed at all and it would've been really nice to have two gay guys be platonic friends with nothing more. also why did victor need a date to the wedding when felix and lake were broken up anyway??

- to extend from that, i don't hate benji as much as i expected to from people's posts and i think it's mostly bc both he and victor are?? flawed people?? who i actually think should end up together but they either need to work on communication OR take a break and work on themselves without bringing in other love interests into the equation

- furthermore, victor obviously wants to be with benji but i think the best thing for him rn would be to be single while he and his family go through the process of his coming out and their acceptance. he doesn't need to handle a relationship rn but he could do with a friend who understands what he's going through, aka rahim

- benji also clearly is too accustomed to being accepted and they touched on that a little especially in that he has white liberal parents but it wasn't talked about enough. they didn't really have him acknowledge the difference himself but also they didn't acknowledge that he has simply been out longer, and that not everyone wants to re-closet themselves. hence why maybe it's not the right time for either of them to date rn

- i found myself relating to a LOT to what victor was going through, not in terms of culture/ethnicity or religion specifically but the dealing with a homophobic mother and a partner who isn't experiencing it the same way, and just with a variety of things he dealt with throughout this season. however, and i found this in the first season, i just don't connect with his acting the way i do with every other character. idk why

- i really wanted felix x pilar to happen in season 1 and even at the start of s2 but after watching this season i wish it didn't honestly. i get why felix can't be with lake rn of course, and i also like that it emphasises how much of a risk she took in the decision she made. however, they reduced pilar's AWESOME character to be literally just a girl with a crush in this season and while there's nothing wrong with that, i found it really disappointing and also kinda doesn't work with the storyline. had felix been with pilar instead what would she have done?? and would she really have been there the way lake was, or at least different to lake? i don't know. i feel like it would have made more sense for felix and lake to break up properly in the finale and for felix x pilar to happen more as a slowburn in season 3. that being said they clearly just put them together to please fans and i'm worried they'll continue doing this

anyway i'm excited for bi lake with andrew's ex (lucy?)!! i wish we had more scenes of them pre-finale but i can't wait for more!!!!!!

- speaking of, i like how they made andrew this season with everything and i'm glad to see him and mia finally together. but i hope he doesn't just become ~the boyfriend~ with no other character to him. i also am so angry at mia's dad for taking that job and feel so bad for mia bc she's been through a LOT this season like damn:/ that being said i feel like everything about mia is what she's dealing with and not so much who she is?? so would be nice to see more of her as herself in season 3

- they don't show victor playing basketball enough. but i REALLY like how they talked about stereotypical 'gay' hobbies and how sports isn't one of them, and sort of touched on what MAKES a gay person, really. i just wish it wasn't "you're the best player on the team, of course they'll accept you" in every show that does this bc like?? why do you have to be the best player on the team to be accepted lmao

- i loved the PFLAG thing and it was great to see ormando being a supportive father!!! so refreshing and great to see and also to contrast the differences in how parents react. it was also great to see simon's dad running it and being super involved long after his son had moved out

- i did hope bram would at least be in the background of the simon scene but i guess we can't have everything

- the mum walking in on victor x benji fucking THE WAY I LITERALLY SCREAMED and then i couldnt even watch the next episode bc i had to go to work LMAO like THE CLIFFHANGER. benji was 100000% in the wrong there, it is NOT homophobic for a parent to be traumatised walking in on their child having sex lol and especially when adrian was home??? it could've been him that walked in sooo

- did my memory fail or was adrian kinda 'feminine' last season ??like he liked frozen and stuff and the grandparents made a comment about it?? what happened to that he literally wasn't anything like that this season it was kinda sad

- also why on earth were victor and benji kissing at work sorry but no matter what sexuality you are and how comfortable you are with PDA that is just?? weird?? like sorry but as a customer i would feel so uncomfortable like am i intruding lmao. a kiss hello and goodbye when you're starting and finishing is fine and cute but in between serving customers and making coffees and shit is so unnecessary lol

- where was victor and felix's friendship this season?? like he stayed in his house after a traumatic life event and they didn't talk about it?? they only talked when they were going through love triangles like thats it??

i saved this as a draft the other day and forgot what else i was gonna add so i'll end here lol!!

#the way no-one is gonna read this but i felt like i couldn't post it in multiple posts lmao #love victor #love victor season 2 #love victor spoilers

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ntamain · 4 years ago

Photo

Is my (24F) neighbour (27F) into me or is she just being friendly? How do I know if she's gay?

another gay gem from the r/relationship reddit

Update:

Image ID under the cut, please let me know if I did it wrong!

[Image ID: four screenshots of a post from the relationship subreddit by tumblr user nta-main. The title reads “Is my (24F) neighbour (27F) into me or is she just being friendly? How do I know if she’s gay?”

The text reads “Update post is now locked, I cant believe so many people were interested in us!! Thank you again for your support, comments and messages.

Hi all, I can't believe I'm asking for advice from a bunch of strangers on the internet but I don't really have anyone I can talk to about this. Sorry for the incoming essay but I guess I need to give history. I bought my first house in September last year, It was an odd time but everything just fell into place. It's quite a small village and everyone is really friendly so I got to know my neighbours soon after moving in - yes, socially distanced. Then I met my over-the-road neighbour, let's call her Elle. I can't describe it but it's the first time I've ever met someone and been lost for words and my heart was racing and just thought "omg", y'know?? So after I blushed my way through a welcome to the village type convo we only saw each other for a wave and hello for a few days.

To help kinda settle in I had my dog (Bea) with me for the first few weeks. During this time there was a massive increase in dog thefts in a nearby town, not just from gardens but literally wrestled away from people. If I'd have been working (furloughed off and on since March) then I would've taken Bea back to mum's but since I was home with her all day she stayed. So the local police advised to not walk dogs alone but we go out twice a day, a 10k run in the morning and a few miles walk in the evening. So obvs this scares me, but at the same time she is honestly a pain in the arse and gets upset if she doesn't go for a run and needs to be tired out so I'm kind of stuck at this point. Then along comes Elle. She knocked on the door and offered to come with us as she'd seen Bea and me in the evenings and everything kind of spiralled from there. I told her about my morning runs but she didn't really bite so I thought nothing of it. Then a few days later I bumped into her on a run, so she started joining us on those too.

A few months later and we are spending more and more time together everyday. It has now progressed to a run early morning, afternoon coffee, dinner most evenings and then the evening walk. It just seemed to happen without me really noticing. I didn't read into things that much as I don't want to get my hopes up and ruin anything until another neighbour commented about how much time we spend together and how "it's nice to see you young gals getting on" and winked. She actually winked at me. I asked her what she meant but she just laughed and said "you know what I mean". So now I'm looking back on things and wondering if she could like me too?

Here's some reasons why she might like me:

I went running along the same route at the same time for nearly 2 weeks before I happened to run into her a few days after I told her this?

I make her a coffee every afternoon (Elle is WFH) and take it over in her fave mug. She says I make good coffee but I'm pretty sure I saw a fancy coffee machine the first time I went round (it's not there now?).

Elle carried on running and walking with me even after Bea went home. I told her she was going back to mum's and she said well "I'll have to make another excuse to join you" and then we just carried on everyday.

She has tried really hard to bond with Bea. Bea is a very anxious dog and is scared of everyone except me and mum. Elle bought special treats to give her everyday and has been so amazing with her and never tried to force anything. When I asked her she said "it's important to me that she likes me and is comfortable". Bea actually fell asleep between us on the sofa yesterday and It just makes my heart skip a beat guys.

She invited me to the zoom quiz she does with her friends every fortnight or so and they were all like "oh so this is who we've heard so much about "

We realised we had become each other's support bubble. Elle asked if I was meeting anyone else and I said no, she said she was glad she had me all to herself (!!)

We gave each other quite personal xmas presents. Like, it actually made me tear up it meant so much to me. And she bought stuff for Bea!!

Reasons why she might not like me:

All the reasons above, but that she's just doing them because she's a fucking great person and we're friends?

It might sound dumb but idk I need your help guys. She is the just the most incredible person I have ever met and I really really like her but if she isn't gay or doesn't feel the same I don't want to lose her friendship as she has become such a huge part of my life. I genuinely have no experience with these kind of things as I went to quite a strict all girls school, so it's not as if there were any relationships around me as a teen and then I went to a very small uni (8 of us on my course). I guess another reason is that I've struggled with anxiety and depression for the past 10 years, as well as my weight and working on my self confidence, but I can say that right now I am the happiest and healthiest (both mentally and physically) I have ever been. I've only just really become comfortable with the fact that I'm gay and I have never really told anyone in real life, but I don't think people would be too surprised lol. I don't have any close friends as no one stuck around when I was really struggling with my MH a few years ago so I can't discuss this with anyone irl.

So I need your advice : how do I find out if she is gay? And no, I don't have the confidence to just ask!! What if she says no and I ruin everything? She has never mentioned anything about past relationships and I'm pretty tactless so not sure how I could naturally slip it into the convo. Like, "hey tell me have you ever had a girlfriend? Do you want one now?" Lol. And how can I make a move without really making a move so I don't ruin things??

tl;dr : Don't know whether my neighbour is gay and into me or is just really friendly. How can I make a move without ruining our friendship?

Edit: Ok guys, thank you so so much for all your support and encouragement. You've all given me a lot to think about. I think I'm going to casually slip some gay stuff into conversation and see how she reacts. Then bring up the neighbours comment like some of you suggested, seeing as tho the neighbour was heavily implying that we're gay. I'll do it tonight otherwise I'll talk myself out of it again. I will post an update to let you know what happens (eek). If you never hear from me again assume it went badly and I am consoling myself with cake and watching brokeback mountain in floods of tears.

Hi reddit, yes it's me the useless lesbian. First off I want to thank you all for your support, encouragement and advice - and the undeserved awards! I never expected this many of you to take the time to comment and that so many of you were rooting for us.

So I had the plan to drop these gay hints into convo like you guys suggested but honestly it all went out the window. Elle was kinda stressed friday after a shitty work zoom and just needed to vent so it wasnt the right time to start anything. Though I guess I must have been a bit off thanks to spending all day overthinking things on here, as Elle turned up Saturday morning rambling about stressing me out and apologised (!!) for ruining dinner. Obvs I said "what are you talking about you can talk to me about anything", and she said "anything?" and I said "anything" back. And guys the tension was unreal, staring at each other and hoping our lesbian mind reading powers would kick in.

Then there was some loud noise like a car backfiring or something and the moment went. So I went to make coffee and then Elle asked me why I was a bit quiet the night before and I said something about overthinking stuff and she said "what stuff" and idk you guys I wasnt prepared to be put on the spot my casual gay pop culture references were useless in this moment. My mind just went completely blank and I forgot every single thing you guys suggested and my heart was pounding and I just blurted out you know I like you, right?.

...And then she kissed me. Kissed me. We straight up just snogged in the kitchen and it was fucking great. So...you were right. You were all fucking right. She's gay, she likes me and has been trying to drop hints for nearly 5 months. sigh

We were both just too scared to make a move or ruin anything. Turns out she's been burned by straight girls in the past, so she's pretty wary and was hoping I'd straight up say I'm a lesbian so she'd know for sure - maybe the I'm a lesbian wall hanging would've been a good idea after all? Her friends have been helping her drop hints, she showed me the group chat and guys their suggestions ranged from flirting more to just turning up in a trenchcoat and nothing else lol. Also, the winking neighbour has been making comments to her as well, so shout out to her for trying to make this happen too.

So no cake and cry watching brokeback mountain, just 5 months of dating to catch up on. As for worrying about how our current schedule could be more date like during lockdown, you were right it's kinda irrelevant when you've essentially been dating the whole time. Though we never made it to our morning run yesterday, in fact we didn't leave the house at all, ha.

Thank you guys for giving me hope, even if all your suggestions completely disappeared in the moment. Maybe I'll show her the post later and ask if any of the suggestions would have worked.

tl;dr: she's gay, into me and I'm an idiot”

End image ID]

#this is for sure already on tumble #but it's so cute #I had to #mine #r/relationships #tw// ed #edit: I'll add a transcript in a minute just gotta figure out how to make it accessible

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unlikelyempathpruneauthor · 4 years ago

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It For Me Part 2 mob!Harry x mob!Reader

Summary: after getting kidnapped by an enemy of the hollands, a plan of yours has risen and gets into action.

A/N: here is part 2, school kinda changed for me so that's why I didn't post it the day after part 1 was posted but here you go! I tagged those who liked and reblogged and those who asked to be tagged.

<<<<Previous Part | Next Part>>>>>

TW: uhhh, abduction or kidnapping? idk but some sort of that. mafia stuff, seducing bad guy?

As you felt you were being tied up to a chair with a bag over your head which was taken off and you had no idea where you were. Just then a big light flashed and you had seen who was right in front of you. Bernard “Mad dog” gledati. One of the dirtiest and young mobsters ever to live. No one ever worked with him, he was dirty and stole money, you knew he was one of dominics enemies and you didn't think you would meet him ever.

“Ahh, Bernard, why am i tied up?” you said trying to reach your bump to see if anything was wrong but all he did was he scoff.

“Ah darling, you know why, your father works for me and he sent you to a holland? I'm quite surprised because the hollands are also a long time enemy and they even got you pregnant huh.” he said as you smirked as he got close to your face you could feel his breath. The guards behind him untied your hands and they went straight to your bump making sure you were okay, Bernie saw your worry and chuckled.

“Darling you know i'm not a baby killer, your baby is fine, i got the nurses to check up on you,” he said as your body sighed in relief.

“Why am i here bernie?” you said getting straight to the point not wanting to be here with him a second longer.

“Well since you asked so politely i need something from you since i helped you out here with your child.” he said as he got close but this time with his gun trailing over your body and onto your bump. You knew he wouldn't hurt you but you were starting to question it, you had to do whatever to keep your baby safe, but there was a limit to what you could do.

“Depends on what it is.” you said very seducing as he licked his lips.

“Well you're not gonna like it,” he said as you frowned and placed your hand over you belly and you looked at him with your “innocent” eyes, but you knew what was up next, but you had to make sure they wouldn't do anything to your baby, they weren't apart of this part of your world.

….

Once Tom and Harrison got their consciousness back they quickly got out of the car hoping you got out to call harry or someone about the accident, but you were nowhere to be seen. Harrison was pretty freaked out with what just happened and Tom called his father telling him exactly what happened.

“S-shit…” Haz said as he realized one of the security cameras from the house were there and he knew it would have caught everything. He also noticed there was a note near the camera. He picked it up and it said..

You know who I am and everyone else will know too.

“Tom, look at this.” he said, getting Tom's attention and he too had realized who it was.

They all quickly went back to the house and Harry had been waiting for you to come back and when he realised you weren't with them he swore he was about to punch one of them.

“Where is y/n? Paddy told me she was with you guys and to get ice cream, really? You let my wife go get ice cream in a store, where someone could have seen her?!” he said screaming at them, he had every right to and well he was gonna scream more for what they were about to say. Harry felt their feelings of regret, they both wished they sent someone else, but you were a tough, independent woman..

“Harry, you need to sit down, please.'' Tom said as Harry did as he said and was quite confused and angry that they weren't able to tell him an answer about you.

“What the hell happened?” Harry said, getting impatient.

When they told Harry about you, he didn't even break down, he was just upset with both of them not letting them explain what had happened.

“Tom she's pregnant, Pregnant! Those mobsters will literally do anything to her, you should have talked to me first god damnit,” he said as he left those two and was on the way to find you and get you back.

Harry knew if anything happened to you it would be all his fault, that day he didn't do his hourly check on you and he kicked himself for not doing so. He knew you were strong, but since you got pregnant you had gotten a little more sensitive, he knew how the mafia men acted and he just wanted to find you fast and get you and your baby home. He swore at himself even more about not telling you his feelings towards you, he knew as soon as he saw you he would tell you or well show you. As he calmed himself down so he was stable to find you and everyone was doing their part to look for you, Dominic knew who planned the ambush and he felt quite guilty for it, but he knew he could apologise when they found you. When everyone was ready to set a plan, something was sent to Tom's phone. A video file. He had shown his dad and they had started playing it on the big screen they had.

……………………………………………………………………………………………

You had appeared as a light had been turned on, you had no bruises on you, you looked fine, you had your hand over your belly as you looked up at Bernie as you also looked at the camera, you knew this would be sent to them so you know you could get your plan out to them, you knew harry would understand it.

“Look y/n, i just need a favor that's all because i know all this, the marriage the pregnancy was planned, your father is a huge idiot, but i know your not, so tell me, everything about them, so i can ruin them.” he said as you continued to laugh.

Knowing that you were not hurt got everyone in relief, but the way you would look at Bernie was just a way to keep you alive. Harry knew that none of the things you said here that were seductive to him were real feelings, your mother had taught you well.

You moved around the chair as you looked at the camera and at him.

“Bernie, I know nothing, they didn't even let me touch a damn cup and if a part of me wanted to be with you it would have,” you said smiling at him as he just walked around you and his hand trailed around your jaw.

“Really, well then let just ruin him and his family, we can do it together.” he said as you looked up at him in all seriousness. You looked back down at your belly and shook your head.

“Well I don't know if i could do that,” you said as his grip on your jaw got harder and he leaned in to give you a harsh kiss. You wish you could have wiped your face, but you had to play your part.

“Fine, i'll tell you, they have this thing, filled with everything you can think of, the buried bakersfield cash, jewels, you name it, even that good stuff you like to fill your nose with and a list, it's pretty important by the way..” you said as he was attracted to what you had said and leaned in closer.

“What is she talking about?” Tom looked over at Harry as he shrugged trying to remember if you had mentioned something like this..

“I don't know Tom, I d-don't know...” he said as Harrison chipped in.

“She might still have her gun Harry what if she's planning to attack them herself.” harrison said as they continued to watch.

“Really, and what is the list.” he asked as you looked up knowing this trick was working.

“Well I can't really tell you that until you know i'm safe.” you said as he grew mad and you knew that would happen so you just gave in.

“You're no fun...Fine i'll tell, it's a list of every manufacturer and business they have owned and will own you know its just a stupid list.” you said as he was loving every word you had said. The list was key to business and well money.

“I know what she's talking about.” Harry said as they all looked at him surprised he knew this conversation well he just didn't think he would be doing that plan now.

……………………………………………………………………………………………

You two were late night talking about plans about your arrangement basically, you assumed this is what real couples would talk about just mafia style. This was short after you two had announced your relationship and when you two were just starting out to be best friends. These plans were not concrete then, but your “relationship” got more serious these things needed to be talked about, but Harry’s main priority was you and he wanted to know if you had a plan or not because he would have helped you with that.

“Okay if something would happen to me, there is this plan, I have the bakersfield cash clean, and i have other cash that is pretty dirty. So whoever has me you give them the dirty money, there's also a list, which looks legit, but it's actually companies that have been closed down or owned by an enemy of ours, also fake jewels and you know things that mafia men love, but before hand i will tell them about first then they get it.” you said as Harry laughed, admiring your plan. He thought you were the smartest and he wished he could just say his feelings but even the biggest mafia men are the pussiest, if that's even a word.

“Well that is very well sorted, how did you even think of it?” he asked as you smiled.

“Well my mom was killed by the enemy and there was no plan, so i suggested this incase of me to my father, and well now you know and so will your brothers and your father soon.” you said as he nodded.

“Oh right...I'm sorry about your mum.” he said as you shrugged.

“Don’t worry about it, it was years ago, but she was the best mom ever and she was my role model of what a person should be.” you said as Harry nodded and gave you a half smile.

“What was she like?” he asked as you smiled and continued to talk about your mom.

Your mom was everything to you and Harry was able to see that. You honestly don't know where you would be without the small moments you had with your mother. You hoped one day you would be like her when you had kids.That night Harry had hoped this plan would never be set ever, he couldn't lose you that quick, you meant everything to him even if he didn't show it because he was scared to.

Who knew that it would happen today...

Taglist:

@chumhandle101 @frenchquackson @ohmy-moonlightx @chanteeeeeee @osterfieldshollandgirl @sleepybesson @itshimz @howdycharlie @carrrieanne @hushberry @amandameeeh @rainypersonmuffinnerd @sizzlingoafeggsegg @atomicstudentlover-stuff @lavenderhollandx @lonelyforeverself @imcalledjasmijn @robertpattinson-th @aquawomxn @euphorichxlland

#harry holland #harry holland x yn #harry holland x you #harry holland fic #harry holland x reader #harry holland imagine

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pluviophile-bookworm · 3 years ago

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HSMTMTS 2x9: so dreaded, so exciting, 'Sword!' (yeah, I went there, I've been thinking about this scene - you know the one - since yesterday for some reason)

After two computer malfunctions and a very tough, very sleepless night, here I am with a third attempt to write this post. The universe is against me today. Is Mercury in retrograde or something? Ugh, I just want to get this over with already. And I haven't even managed to see half the episode yet. You better like this cursed post because it's taken me two hours at this point, and will probably take another to finish - and that is if nothing goes wrong this time. Please bear with me. This is my reaction to HSMTMTS 2x9, take 3. Let's hope and pray it's the last one.

I'm normally [unpopular opinion alert] a very spoiler-positive person (it's the combination of anxiety and ADHD and a bunch of other stuff, I suppose), but for this one I've been refraining from looking at the tag all morning, so by now I'm simply bursting with impatience. But before we dive in, I need to get some stuff off my chest.

Some pre-watch thoughts and feelings (let's see how well they will have aged by the end of the episode):

Seriously, what is with whoever writes this show? I know it's impossible, but I feel like they've been toying with my emotions specifically all season. Like:

Ah, so you were a Rini shipper last season? Great, now we'll make them obnoxious and borderline toxic to the point where you actually want them to break up, but then their old chemistry will be back just for the breakup scene so that you can cry your eyes out over the one couple you couldn't stand - even though you can't seem to relate to a single song from Sour, we'll make you feel like you do for a hot second. At least it will remind you that you loved Ricky.

So you say Redlyn own your heart and soul? Great, we'll make you dread something going wrong with them for a week straight, and mess up your sleep schedule beyond repair over it. You're welcome!

We heard you said Rodfini give you life? Perfect, how about a big Seblos fight? And would you like a side of questioning your choice to stan Carlos with that? Because what is life without a little anxiety, a bit of doubt of your ability to read people, and a pinch of existential dread, right?

Ah, so you claimed not to ship Portwell romantically, is that right? Brilliant, we'll make you ship them and then we'll use that to torture you, too.

You've been excited about ABF and Asher Angel guest-starring ever since they were announced? Magnificent! We'll make you hate ABF's character to the point where you can't even look at him, and we'll make you call him names you thought yourself incapable of uttering. And as for Asher, you'll be left waiting for him until the last third of the season, and then you'll dread the possibility of hating his character, too. Do you love us yet?

Oof! Right then, I've got that out of my system. Time to dive in.

Miss Jenn playing around with the backgrounds is, like, 90% of the people who had online school this year, and honestly, I love that for her.

Wait, why is Nini first on this call? Are they going through with the Rose thing? Cos like, the song is nice and all (and, might I add, much more to my taste than nearly all of Sour, don't @ me), but if they use it, it will get them disqualified. They’ve been told that! Gosh, please let me be wrong about this.

We get it, Carlito, rich and fancy and over-the-top is kind of your thing, but have you stopped for a second to think about how others will feel about this? Especially Seb, whom you claim to care about. Seriously, though, I love Carlos and would not hesitate to die for him, but I’m getting the feeling that, unlike my other favourite (you know the one), he wouldn’t do the same for me. Oh well, he’ll figure it out. He’s just a kid. Give him time.

Wait, Milky White? Is that an Into the Woods reference I smell? Cool! If I had a cow, I’d totally name her Milky White (or Gertrude, but don’t ask me why). I just hope they don’t have to, like, take her to the market and exchange her for magic beans, if you catch my drift.

Ahhhhh, Caswell cousins content! We love to see it!

‘You guys are watching, like, old old movies’ WTH, Nini (or is it Nina)? Scary Movie is literally younger than me. But what do you know about it, you 21st-century baby! Ugh, I don’t know why I’m being so hostile today... must be the lack of sleep. Hope it doesn’t influence my reactions to the episode so dramatically as to make me forget how much I love this series. Because I do.

Yay! Big Red is here! I can finally smile. And did Ash just say they’re soulmates? Because yes they are! Ahhh my heart is going to explode.

‘Nini, have you heard from [Ricky]?’ Yikes, awkward... but of course, Big Red can be counted on to save the day here, too.

Ok, so that was a cool cold open. Time for some nice in-person scenes, though. I did not spend all of three semesters doing online school just to have the characters of my favourite series do the same.

Wow, Gina is really embracing that French accent thing! And I really don’t want to think about, erm, ‘Napoleon over here’ right now, but I really think the fact that she’s doing it better than him will be another piece of evidence towards my theory of fake-French!Antoine... ugh, I said his name. Oh well. Back to Gina. Too bad the French thing didn’t work out for her.

Ahhhh, Portwell with Ash in the background! And Ash is going to paint EJ’s nails! I feel like he’s going to end up loving that, despite what he says right now. But seriously, I just love how comfortable these two are with each other. Can you blame me now for shipping them as friends? Well, I mean, it’s obvious they will be more than friends, and somehow, despite the amatonormativity of it all, I’m here for it.

Wait, was that Asher? That was Asher, I’m 100% sure of it. And Gina said ‘a sign’ and then looked at him, even from the back... what am I supposed to think and feel here? I’m confused. Moving on.

Ahh, poor Ricky being a burrito... good thing that breakup scene last time reminded me that I love him, because the entirety of the season before that was very good at making me forget that.

Wait, did she say ‘the Bean’? As in, that Bean? The infamous Bean? LOL.

‘So the only time you two talk to each other is to gossip about me’ Boy, did I feel that. I once got my hands on my dad’s mobile and I... kind of went through his texts with mum. Yep, all about me and my brother. At this point I feel like they’re only together because of us. But this is getting too personal. I’m here about the episode, not to rant about my family. Moving on.

Yikes, looks like Nini’s got writer’s block all over again. Am I supposed to feel sorry for her? Because I kind of don’t. I mean, no hate towards her, none at all, but that entire scene just felt awkward and unnecessary. And not just because it’s her first time going live. That I can understand. What I don’t understand is why the writers can’t seem to do anything creative and interesting with Nini. Olivia is being wasted there. Idk, that’s just how I feel. Again, no hate.

Ahhhhh it’s Asher! And well, he’s not Jonah, but I kind of really like him as Jack. I wonder if that will last.

So is it just me, or is anyone else not quite sure how to feel about Ricky’s mum? I mean, their interactions seem kind of awkward and strained, but that’s how it’s supposed to be given their recent history, and yet something just doesn’t sit quite right with me.

‘You there, Muse? It’s me, Nini!’ Ah, so it’s Nini again? I didn’t get the memo. Gosh, this episode is kind of really underwhelming. The most exciting thing so far (but not nearly as exciting in practice as it was in theory) – Asher and Sofia’s on-screen reunion. The second most exciting thing? The thought of Ash painting EJ’s nails. Everything else? Kind of ‘whatever’. Is this what I tossed and turned about all night? Totally not worth it. This episode better get, like, 300% better right this instant. It’s just not worth all the frustration and excitement and dread so far.

Looks like my prayers from just now have been heard! That improv scene was hilarious! Guess it was lucky that Miss Jenn had them do improv before this moment. But I need to know more of Jack’s backstory now.

Ok, so that was awkward! So Kourtney is talking to Howie again, I guess. And I guess I know now what Carlos did that was all public and no subtle. Still, what’s wrong with posting photos from your holiday? Guess I don’t exactly know yet what Carlos did to piss the others off so much.

Great, now I’m tempted to google butterfly faces. Good thing I’m not eating anymore. *** Ughhhhh this was a mistake! Please don’t ever look a butterfly in the face if you want to stay sane. Don’t be like me.

Ahhh the Duke sweater! ‘Is that your boyfriend’s?’ Well, not quite yet, it’s not... *screams in Portwell*

Oh, now we’re talking! But seriously, Ricky? The ‘my friends think’ card? Why don’t you just say ‘I think’? It’s clearly something you’ve thought about a lot. I feel like I’m going to love this scene or cry over it or both.

Ooh, therapy. It’s not just... basically the entire fandom... who says it now. Please tell me that means Ricky will be going to therapy at some point. Says the girl who is currently firmly refusing to go to therapy in favour of hyperfixating on HSMTMTS and getting back into the good old practice of having imaginary friends... yeah, I’m one to talk.

My, my, my! Seb has really had it now. I mean, it was about time, but... not quite like this. My heart is starting to do some weird stuff, I can feel it. I might need to lie down.

Ok, so as much as I envy North High for getting to see so many shows on BWay – basically living out my dream – stalking East High on Instagram and being shady about them taking a well-deserved break... just goes beyond all limits. I mean, if you’re so into Broadway shows, you should know as well as I do what happened the last time a certain founding father did not take a break. Maybe you’re the ones in need of a break here.

Nini on the call with the Caswell cousins, though... ‘I’m obsessed with both of you’ – first relatable thing she’s said or done all season. And EJ playing with old toys is pure gold.

Oh, so Jack’s dad is a pilot. Makes sense, I guess. I’m kind of intrigued by this guy. Just as long as he doesn’t try to come between Portwell before they’ve had the chance to happen, you know...

Ashlyn might need to stop swooning over Nini’s songwriting or Big Red might get jealous... I mean, I would not have pinned him as the jealous type before 2x7, but ever since then... I guess insecure + dating a girl like Ash = the jealous type. And although that looks good on him, I’d bet anything it doesn’t feel particularly pleasant on his side. So... wait, why am I talking about Big Red? He hasn’t even got anything to do with the scene at hand. But then again, there’s been so little Big Red content in this episode that I seem to be trying to make up for it. Still. Stay focused.

Ooh, so Big Red did edit that video! Is there anything my boy can’t do? Ok, now I feel like he’s even more criminally underappreciated than he was before. But let’s look at the video. I’m curious to see the whole thing because that sneak peek from yesterday simply hasn’t been enough.

That was... really, really cool! I love how they took the ‘when they go low, we go high’ line from last time and run with it. Now if only they were putting as much effort into BATB... North High wouldn’t know what hit them.

Hmmmm... I guess Gina and Jack could be what I originally wanted Portwell to be... really cool friends. Unless it’s one of those ‘airport magic’ things. Oh well. It probably is. Was that all we’re seeing of Asher here? I did not wait 2/3 of the season for this. Though it was nice.

Ooh, Ricky’s solo song... why is there more Rini chemistry in this song than there was in all the season? Not counting the breakup scene, of course. Also, I feel like it’s just as much about him and his mum as it is about Nini. Some say music is the best therapy. I think they might be right. And no, I’m not crying. You are.

The granola bar, though... this episode might have been very underwhelming in the first half, but... it delivered in the Portwell front, and the music was *chef’s kiss*, so I’m willing to let it slide that the advertised Seblos ‘big fight’ was not touched upon nearly enough. Maybe next week...

Ok, now that we’re done watching the episode, let’s see how my feelings from the beginning have aged:

The Rini breakup: apparently, along with reminding me that I love Ricky, it has rendered me unable to look at Nini. What’s up with that? If this is some sort of tactic along the lines of ‘Olivia might be leaving the show so we’re making you hate her character so that you won’t miss her’, it’s not really working. Because I don’t want to hate Nini. Believe me, I don’t.

Redlyn: ok, so there’s nothing wrong with them whatsoever - we even got a ‘soulmates’, which I loved - but first they’re being swept under the rug, and then the antis come at us with that ‘their relationship is underdeveloped’ nonsense. Individually, though, I liked them in this episode (even if there was a significant shortage of Big Red), and Ashlyn collaborating with Nini again was cool, but... what I really wanted to see was her painting EJ’s nails. Did she even get the chance to actually do it? Maybe next week.

Seblos: I’m still failing to understand exactly what Seb thinks Carlos did wrong (please enlighten me if you did catch that, I’m kind of slow), but he (Seb) does have reasons to be mad at him (Carlos)... and at other people, too. Still, if you want to have a fight between two people in a relationship, you could do much better than whatever this episode was. Maybe next week. I notice I’m saying that a lot. Guess I’m putting a lot of hopes on 2x10. I just pray it doesn’t disappoint.

Portwell: boy, am I happy that my frustration on this front did not age well! What I mean is, apparently they’ve decided to bless us, not torture us for once. Even a rather disappointing episode like this one had to have some sort of silver lining. And Portwell is it.

Asher as Jack: well, luckily I didn’t hate him, but... it’s kind of the opposite problem. I loved him and now they’re taking him away from me. Guess I just can’t win here. Oh well. At least he didn’t have the screen time to get in between Portwell...

All in all: 2x10, my hopes and prayers are with you!

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angelofthequeers · 4 years ago

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hi! So I have being thinking (or observing) lately, how people prefer lu//ka over ni//no (I mean lu//ka is shoved everywhere but thats not the point). Like lu//ka is praised for being chill, akumatized for someone else, being 'musical', protective, etc (honestly ni//no has more qualities unlike... Yeah). And it just bothers me so much idk. I mean pocs are always side eyed in favour of white characters that's not new but I guess the is-ni//no-actually-lu//ka (though a v fun crack idea) (1/n)

Not at all! I’ve also noticed how Nino is increasingly shoved to the side to make room for Luka, aka a generic “rebellious” white boy who looks like he never showers and his mum dresses him and whose interest in a younger girl is so creepy that he had to be retconned to be her age. And I don’t get it, because Nino has an actual fleshed-out personality considering his lack of screentime:

he’s impulsive and super protective of those he loves, to the point where he jumps into battle repeatedly against a literal supervillain who could crush him into a paper ball without effort if she really wanted to

but he can also be stubborn and drag his heels in, like in ‘Horrificator’ over the kiss scene that Alya didn’t include

he also got akumatised over his impulsiveness because he was so angry for his best friend

and yes, that’s different to Luka getting angry for Marinette in ‘Silencer’ because

he didn’t give a flying damn about the rest of the band, just the girl whose pants he wanted in

he didn’t actually??? Confront XY and Roth directly??? He just stood there trying to get Marinette to leave and then when she was threatened, he just stood there and stewed. Compare that to Nino, who actively went on the attack at Gabriel to try and fight for Adrien and damn the consequences

he’s got varied interests and personality outside of his DJing. He loves filmmaking, he’s goofy (think ‘Puppeteer 2’), he gets flustered easily, he parkours with Alya in their free time, he loves Just Dance...there’s so much more to him than just ‘plays an instrument and makes fun of a pretty girl for stuttering’

his self-worth issues! He didn’t think he was worthy of being a superhero, that he could defend Alya in an arm wrestle... I don’t know what Luka thinks of himself. I don’t even know if he thinks

he’s so selfless and loyal! Remember ‘Zombizou’, where he stayed behind so Alya wouldn’t be a zombie alone even though she wouldn’t have a clue once everything was fixed? Where he went in to bat for Adrien in ‘Bubbler’ even knowing he could be making an enemy out of a powerful and influential man? Where he stuck by Adrien in ‘Jackady’ and made sure he was safe? What has Luka done in comparison? And before people insist that he’s barely had any screentime, they also insist that Nino has no personality because he’s hardly ever on screen too and yet I can pick all of this about Nino, so they can’t have it both ways

And you’re bang-on with characters of colour being shoved aside for white ones. You see it in how Chloé replaces Alya as Marinette’s best friend despite being a literal horrific bully while Alya has been there for Marinette through thick and thin and is the literal reason why Marinette became Ladybug not just once but twice. You see it in the colourism (preferring lighter skin shades and features over darker ones) where Kagami has all but replaced Alya as a love interest for Marinette and sometimes even as her best friend because Alya is Lila’s new bestie. And that’s not to say that Kagaminette ship and friendship are bad! I love love LOVE them to bits and Kagami is one of my favourite characters of all time. But I hardly ever see Alyanette anymore in favour of Kagaminette, and even just Alya and Marinette best friend stuff because Kagami has essentially replaced Alya. And that’s also a common salt thing too; if it’s not Chloé replacing Alya, it’s Kagami.

Don’t get me wrong, Kagami is very much a POC. She’s faced a hell of a lot of undeserved backlash and awful treatment for being the “bitchy ice queen” and even fetishisation (don’t get me started please or I won’t shut up but some of the stuff I’ve seen has made me physically nauseous at the Asian fetishisation). But at the end of the day, I’ve personally seen her treated “better” than Alya...if by “better” you mean fetishised, which is a large part of why I don’t trust 90% of other Adrigaminette and Kagaminette fans. The way she’s treated compared to Alya looks more positive but it’s still fetishism and racism. She’s just not outright bashed as much as Alya because colourism and specifically anti-Black racism, as subconscious as it might sometimes be.

And that racism and colourism (which I most definitely had a point with I swear) is something that ties into the Luka and Nino thing, where people with lighter features are preferred over people with darker features. Luka has 1/100 the personality that Nino does and get he gets 100 times the love that Nino does. He also has people gushing over his appearance and how he’s a “hot bad boy” but I never see people loving Nino for his dark skin, for his brown eyes, for his prominent nose...for anything, really.

(Not to get personal but as a fellow Arab who also has brown eyes and a nose that’s not thin and dainty and is very obviously non-white and something I hated for years, that shit hurts)

Like, if someone doesn’t like Kagami, most of the time she’s just ignored as a character and the author/artist doesn’t touch on her. But if someone doesn’t like Alya? Instead of just having her be friends with other girls instead or just naturally drift apart from Marinette (which uh is still not cool), they go wild on her, turning her into an aggressive bitch who’s obsessed with her scoops and getting Adrien and Marinette together even at the cost of Marinette’s happiness. They take her flaws and wildly exaggerate them to justify hating her (don’t ask about the sheer vitriol I saw in the aftermath of ‘Feast’ over a mistake that Luka would just be coddled for). And while it’s not as prominent, because Alya is at the intersection of being a girl and a POC - especially a Black girl - and cops double the crap, I’ve also seen Nino demonised into a spineless idiot who just stands by and lets things happen instead of...you know, the boy who literally rushed a spider supervillain to save his girlfriend, knowing he could die very easily.

I just want some wholesome Adrino 😔 There’s all this “Luka would show Adrien how to rebel and just gets how he feels” and blah but like...Adrien already knows how to rebel. He just does it in little safe ways because he’s an abused kid, rather than doing what the salters think he should do and turning into a generic copy of Luka without a thought for the consequences that Gabriel can inflict on him because he’s still a kid under his parent’s “care”. And Nino already gets how Adrien feels! He’s Adrien’s best friend! He knows what to say to Adrien and how to be there for him without having to resort to strumming a guitar and telling Adrien how he feels like Luka does to Marinette.

Nino was Adrien’s first friend. Nino’s been there for Adrien through thick and thin, through having an arse of a parent who forces him to be flaky and unreliable with hangouts. Nino is physically affectionate with Adrien without throwing himself all over him like Chloé and Lila do. Nino’s actions as an akuma were to make his best friend happy. And yet people still seem to think that Luka both loves Adrien more and is a better choice for him. Why??? All Luka would do is sit there and play his guitar. Luka is his music and nothing else but Nino...Nino has so much more to him than just his DJing.

I feel like part of it is not wanting to break up DJWiFi, which...okay, valid. That’s one of my favourite ships of all time because they’re so darn happy and cute together and it makes me melt to see two POC happy together. I personally would turn to polyamory because I want massive cuddle piles. But if you don’t want that and you’re deadset on Lukadrien (😬) then just...don’t shove Nino to the side. Continue to include Nino as Adrien’s best friend and give him appropriate screentime and character growth outside of being a cardboard cutout friend. It’s not an either-or thing like so many people seem to think, and platonic friendships are just as important as romantic relationships.

#ask #aotq answers #miraculous ladybug #ml fandom salt #anti luka couffaine #anti lukanette #luka salt #cw racism #I had this drafted all day #trying to make sure the wording was right #anti lukadrien

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