#idk if i should even tag this lmfao
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god i read it once but now i cant stop thinking about levi fingering you right after finishing in order to keep his cum in you for longer djkslajf
#help help#why am i so thirsty for this man#kdjfdkslfj#idk if i should even tag this lmfao#literally a singular thirsty thot#kat rambles#thirsting for levi#levi thirst#n.sfw#levi x reader#levi ackerman x reader#levi ackermann x reader#levi heichou x reader#captain levi x reader#levi ackerman#levi ackermann#captain levi#levi heichou#levi smut#levi
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fuck i’m thinking about calamity xie lian and wu ming and the fact that . even at his worst. for xie lian. after being the most selfless person for his people. that selflessness being returned with pure selfishness. that he became that way because of someone literally fucking with him soley because they were jealous of xie lians kindness and so desperately wanted xie lian to break. and when he did. wu ming was there. he was literally created from xie lians suffering. he had seen xie lian in his princely glory. seen him fight for his people. and watched as he could do nothing while those people turned against their prince in such a vile way. that wu ming was ready to greet him, to fight with him and constantly bloody his hands for him. even at xie lians absolute worst, the only who had always believed in him, and literally his last believer, still doing anything for him except agree to stop believing in him. the level of devotion to keep reminding xie lian who he is even when he didn’t want to be. the fact that when one person showed xie lian kindness again. wu ming was there, his most devoted believer, to die for him, again, because it will always be an honour to die for his highness. and before he died, he got to see xie lian come back to himself, back to the kindness he knew was always within - but even if he didn’t, he still would’ve followed him. because he loved xie lian, was so devoted and saw how people threw him to the dirt. he would do anything to take any burden away from xie lian. and he did.
#me not even 2 mins ago: ya know i get wulian but i don’t think it’s for me#me after writing this out: oh i get it. oh i so get it now#i just needed to rant about it lmfao apparently#tgcf#hualian#tgcf spoilers#idk if i should tag this as wulian tho#tgcf analysis#wu ming#he deserves the tag tho
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Go work off that debt Xie Lian! ....with an extra babysitting job.
Meme template for y'all under the cut + examples I made.
Anyway hopefully next episodes won't take too long. The thing is. The Ghost Groom arc is a lot longer than I remember. I'm still racking my brain over how the hell I'm gonna summarize it because I am not going every single instance
#poorly drawn tgcf#tgcf#xie lian#mu qing#feng xin#ling wen#Sorry if you didn't know fu yao and nan feng are just fx and mq in disguise#it's painfully obvious these two really only have a single braincell huh#even XL knows almost for certain from the get go but just played along with them#naturally in typical XL fashion he does not tell you this fact until like#book 7 or something. XL honey Ily but you're a little shit#guoshi must have gotten his white hair from raising both the lil shit that is XL and JW#rejoice soon hc will make his first (gay panic) appearance#dw LW and SQH (if u see him u get a cookie) will form a union at some point as they should#I continue to hide silly cameos from the other books in this#congrats to everyone who correctly identified Jiang Cheng in the last one LMAO#He isn't the only one though! there is a svsss character cameo in ep 1 as well#If anyone identifies it correctly and comments or tags it#I'll make a lil extra doodle#inconsistent artstyle??? more likely than you think#I hope I can make it a lil more appealing#idk it just doesnt click with me yet but we'll see#I mainly took inspiration from the manhua designs for MQ and FX#and then complitely pulled the colors out of my arse lmfao
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like idk. personally if the ex military buzzcut guy with a dead wife tersely told me that i didn't know what the wasteland was like before the colonial entity he was raised up in got their hands on it and that the ncr was actually "civilizing it" or whatever. and i then pieced together that he had been conditioned by the military he was a part of to mercy kill and is therefore very against that now but also definitely did that to his wife. and he then informed me that i should leave him behind because he was literally incapable of not shooting anyone in certain faction armour indiscriminately. my response would not be to try dating him. even if i did not know about the specific war crimes he'd done yet.
#not tagging bc these are just further thoughts inspired by a papakhan post (a good post!)#but. yeah idk it's interesting#i'm not even a boone hater i'm...... a secret third thing#i think i'm maybe just against romanticizing his bald ass lol#but i think that if one needs to like... soften the ideologies of both participants in a ship#in order for that ship to work at all#that is worthy of note innit#this has me thinking about the bg3 ships i hate LMFAO#i'm like halsin and astarion should not be within 50 feet of each other. stop it. get some help.#it's irksome. i am irked.#i also am fond of many improbable ships but i think that like#they work if one approaches them realistically ig#instead of doing that softening#which. will probably make them fully miserable LMFAO#misery is interesting. i'm not necessarily anti misery.#i mean i don't /always/ want to witness the misery but.
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i have nothing of substance to say in this caption
epicer version under cut
#my post#borderlands#artstuff#jakobs family values#shitpost#hammerwright al fine jakobslock#< it feels wrong tagging this guy here even tho its Him#because a part of me fears someone doesnt want spoilers . for things i havent written yet#but idk lmfao#im not big enough to deserve my own spoiler tags yet#and the hammerwright brainrot is truly eternal#then again even if you dont know of the strangers identity through my blog then. the foreshadowing in what ive written so far should be.#more than enough lolmao#bl3
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GIRL HELP THIS IS NOT ME BEING SLAYFUL AND CUTESY THATS A WHOLE ASS DEMON POSSESSING MY BODY HELP
-> more instances of suffering
#BUCKLE UP BABES IM CAVING IN TO THE GRAVITY FALLS BRAINROT#also fun fact. even tho the ref is myself but i drew my bangs on the wrong side bc im dumb LMFAO and it was too late to rotate TT#gravity falls#bill cipher#billsona#gf bill cipher#gravity falls bill cipher#stanford pines#this is lwk billford implied lol but idk if i should tag it#my art
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so fucking upset. i looked up what's considered concerning weight loss and got a statistic. i looked up the same question but specified teens and i got a bunch of articles about how to lose weight. what the fuck
#tw weight loss#? idk if that tags necessary but better safe than sorry#past this point there is discussion of ARFID and stuff#LMFAO also ive had a medium to mild case of ARFID my entire life and no one noticed past concern for my pickiness#i say medium to mild because ive gotten better recently#i even ate half a bowl of the noodles i dont like the other day. AND they had been touched by shrimp & cabbage juice & soft peanuts#i mean i did drown them in soy sauce first and got nauseous thinking about it the rest of the day. but progress#i mean. im the type of person to skip a meal or barely eat because i dont like the food available or its too loud where i am#my adhd impacts it too like sometimes ill forget to eat or wont be able to make anything that day#but like goddamn. a growing child should be gaining weight. 'we should keep an eye on that' every single time and then no action#you know maybe thats part of why my body hurts sometimes and feels weird and shaky other times#its hard to tell based on how bony i am or whatever because i also naturally am a string bean and im not. like. starving myself#i get the same comments about how i should eat more and how im so skinny when im healthy and when im not#or i used to. people are generally less intrusive now that im older#gosh i need to flex my metaphorical brain muscles more i put way too much thought into the wording of this
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anyone know how to get over sexual trauma or do i just have to be a little weird about it forever
#like i didnt even know what was happeninggg i didnt even realize what was happening until recently it makes me sick to think abt !#csa tw#sa tw#i wouldnt call it that lmfao but idk what else to tag it as and i should definitely tag it
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hrmmm
#musing over here mostly because. lmfao. kinda dont want to be perceived but#ive had my jesper blog for like. three years now and im like#soooo sick and tired of tumblr not saving my tags#and a lot of the times i just feel like a follower number over there#so im wondering if maybe i should do a little soft reset................ whos to say . maybe even a hard reset and move blogs#idk. thoughts. having them. being on the dash over there makes me feel shitty 90% of the time
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I cannot stand to be on twitter today bc they’re rehashing the “punk is about rebelling against what’s popular!!1!11!” debate like dawg,,, not only are you Wrong, the line is “redneck agenda” and maga is the same shit 💀 and oh, im sorry, the song AMERICAN IDIOT wasn’t political before this??? Media literacy is dead.
“But it was new year’s eve, we wanted to escape all that political nonsense!!”
You Cannot have green day on a broadcast where artists play an incredibly short set of their most well known songs in the small time they’re allotted and NOT expect them to whip out one of their MOST POPULAR SINGLES. It is also FUCKING GREEN DAY, a band who has Always been political from wayyy before american idiot’s release (she) to now (the american dream is killing me).
anyways stream the new album Saviors coming out january 19th 🤪
#pull the trigger piglet#thats how i feel rn waking up to this shit#also srry for the rant ik the last post was kinda similar in the tags#but sjjfkskkks#IM TIRED OF THIS SHIT RAAAGHH#sigh at least the guys will always remain relevant despite the claims of haters#i mean it Definitely brought them more attention lmfao#any promo is good promo B)#but yea srry just my sillay 🤪 thoughts#oh and these fuckers are also bringing back the prev posts debate of faggot america snfnjdjd#LEAVE MY BICON OUT OF THIS!!#should i even put a band tag on this#idk ig maybe i should but also just kinda want this in the v o i d#fuck it we ball#green day
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this part genuinely makes me feel like eating dry wall like i can't explain how i feel about it without making some of you finally tire of me and block me about it i think
#.txt#reservoir dogs -#sorry for just randomly posting clips . i was actually working on my vid i swear but then i started Thinking. and here we are.#anyways going genuinely insane in the tags . i'm so sorry. ->#(im only sorry for the sheer amount of tags or if u disagree w/ my interpretations / headcanons. if ur just annoyed lmfao sucks to be you!)#anyways. you guys ever think abt the way orange HAS TO know white's lying to him abt his odds of survival.#bc i think abt that genuinely constantly. all the time thinking about it.#also the ''joe's gonna get you 100% again'' -> first of all . lol. second of all -> ''he was the only one i wasn't 100% on'' hello? HELLO!!#also freddy's voice here makes me feel like punching walls . like it makes me wail in anguish.#no but yeah i think abt the theme of lying & the fact some of the first lies we hear are in this scene in a way#also this part is leaning wayyy harder on headcanon but i always think. like if orange WASNT lying abt who he is. then it'd be reasonable#forhim to not know how likely he is to die and/or how blatantly larry's lying (''i'm talking days!'') but as a cop he SOOO knows he's fcked#but like . what's he gonna do. ''hey i know that's bullshit'' like obviously not and partly bc of How he knows but also bc like#you just don't argue with the only guy who's caring for you while you're seemingly on the brink of death!! LMAO#and certainly not when he's the only one telling you you'll be fine!! even if he's just bullshitting you so you don't freak out!!#I DON'T KNOW i go kinda insane about this scene . as . you can tell.#if you too are insane about this and the implications . don't worry. in several months. my fic will feed you. you will see.#idk . larry lying to and/or for him <33333333 kinda makes me go insane. kinda makes me go wild.#idk. i should be getting ready for bed rn. WHATEVER. bye. logging off. if you read all these i'm in love with you okay#i've just been turngin them around in my head like a microwave for hours so i needed to infodump or else i would explode i think
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okay I am not goign to add this to the replies of the og post bc this isn't even close to what the original post was about but. ough. I keep thinking about this. I'll put this under a read more again because this is just me being strange and depressing about a character and subsequently creating something difficult for the general public to read.
i think the doctor and ryder unintentionally created a situation where lucas would grow up emotionally neglected. like im sure ryder cares about and loves lucas, but his job makes it so he's never around. and while i dont think the doctor is neccesarily abusive,,,, i don't think he'd see lucas as a kid to take care of as much as he sees an assistant for his work, if that makes sense? a robot assistant, but that feels wayyyy too blunt. he doesn't hate lucas, he just kind of wants him to agree with him all the time, as seen in the first game. i don't know.
(plus his deal with you know, being an orphan. which i think was meant to be interpreted as his parents dying, but they don't need to be dead for him to be abandoned, if that makes sense. i dont think his mother would've abandoned him but there is literally nothing in the games about his father)
and of course, being raised in such an environment makes him very very touch starved. maybe without even knowing it. he's "very mature for his age" and yet simultaneously wants to be held and cradled and have someone hold his hand and run their fingers through his hair and wipe away his tears with their knuckles and yet also has this mild primal fear of touch that he can't really fathom. i think when he's touched, either by knack or someone else, that part of his body sort of tingles? if that makes sense? like a lasting impression on what was there. it makes him stop and go. huh.
he craves validation but no one really gives it to him in the amount he needs, or maybe he's just overly needy. i can imagine him wanting to crawl inside someone's ribcage??? not in a violent way or anything (at least as unviolent as a thought like that could be), he just wants to be with someone forever. like a vital organ, kind of. he knows he's not really needed by anyone in order to function (or at least thats what he thinks), but if he's in their body they can't leave!! yippee!!!! (revolting)
i mean i don't think he'd go that far into obessiveness, he's a littol messed up (affectionate) but he would never want to hurt anyone he cares abt. he's like a cat that was weaned too early from its mom so it suckles and kneads on blankets.
and like the thing with him ignoring the pain something causes him in order to still have that comfort auugugghh. knack hugs him a bit too tight and sometimes it leaves bruises but thinking about not being hugged anymore almost brings him to tears. he wants love so badly that he's willing to let himself get hurt to get it. doesn't help that i see lucas as a Child (12 in first game, 14/15 in second).
im a little embarrassed to post this bc its just me being super headcanon-y about lucas but whatever its 1am im seeby ill worry about that later lmao
lucas is my favorite autism warrior hes fighting in the war on autism on the side of autism
#knack#knack ps4#idk if i should even put this in the main tags lmfao#i have so many thoughts about lucas but most of them are just him being miserable#hes me fr#this is why i dont post that many fics too. theyre all just sad.#and i just. havent been writing#idk#mild body horror#i guess?#mild gore#ill put that too#if this gets more than 2 notes ill elaborate when im well rested and sane. maybe#dont hold your breath
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can y’all tell that i dreamt about TCM last night? hjfkhfkjd
i wanna go back and dream it again because i don’t really remember it. i just know that it happened. and that i woke up with the urge to re-watch the movies, which i do regularly anyway, but guess what! i can’t. because my mom is home and i can only watch dvd’s in the living room right now, so, rip to me.
#ronny.exe#gonna watch them tomorrow tho but hjkdhgdfkhkd i am over here and basically vibrating and just fjdkhfdhk#i cant even talk about the movies with anyone so im just reliant on whatever content i can find on here to somewhat satisfy me#because tagging my beloved <3#okay anyway ill shut up now lmfao i should go do something idk
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idk how much more leaving at 830 and coming home past 10 i have in me
#we had fucking DEEP WATER SPINALS today ☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️#it was fine but i got paired up with the guy who#actually idk what his deal is hes just a suck up#i was going to say 'too enthusiastic abt being a lifeguard' but see url. also i wore my lifeguard hoodie today too lmao#anyway he was nitpicking SPECIFICALLY ME. THIS GUY ISNT EVEN A MANAGER 💀#HES ALSO A LIFEGUARD AND WHEN HE WAS SAVING ME I GOT WATER IN MY MOUTH LMFAO#i should have said something but i wasnt awake enough to put someone on blast.#actually i can say hes too enthusiastic abt being a lifeguard because someone said hes in a lifeguard rp discord that has 'inservice' in vc#idk what level you have to be on to participate in that but tgats dedicated as hell#my only question is who participates in that server?#is it 14 year olds that are too young to get a cert so theyre just like 'sigh.... i wish i could backboard.....'#any lifeguard rp enjoyers (?) seeing this post know that its pretty fun but causes back pain#actually being backboard sucks bc of the back pain being victim sucks bc you might get dropped and being rescuer sucks#because one guy ran over my finger with the backboard#< in 2023 but i dont know how he even did that to this day..#anyway thats just my two cents#jk thats so many tags dude. this is a whole ass dollar
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the update postponed indefinitely because i suck the biggest ass apparently 🤣
#putting letters together one word at a time#rereading ch1 was painful (though i knew it'd be) but i managed#bc i kept telling myself well ch1 is the shortest one i just have to suffer through it and ch2 will be much better#spoiler: it isn't#and it's the longest chapter so far. and i see why. too many words that can be just. omitted and nothing will change#i just can't read it right now. i'd really really rather not. my self-esteem (esp regarding my writing skills) suffers enough atp#i write this same post every update. it doesn't get better. i just add to amount of words i have to get upset over#how people manage to read it more than once. i can't fathom it. why#anyway. not that i'll ever understand this or ever get the answer that i'll accept wholeheartedly#i still love this fic even though it's aged like milk tbfh it was a great experience and was a great way to enter the fandom#but idk. maybe i should just write something else on the side.#start ch6 already or finish one of my oneshots for a quick boost to my self-esteem lmfao#though i'd really wish i'd be able to finish this fic in the shortest time possible. alas#that's a lot of tags. sorry if there's someone who decided to go through all this. i have no positive things to say to finish this with
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now some people may not like to hear it but even the worst people who exist are still people & there is no human being who has More right than others to decide whether others deserve to live or die (does not mean i personally condemn murder in self defense or anything of the sort or killing fascists or whatever i'm just saying as a baseline This Is How it Is) & this is why the death penalty is not a good thing no matter how good & trustworthy the people in any government might be. people on average also deserve the chance to learn to do better. & no, someone who's been forcefed propaganda their entire life will not let go of that deeply entrenched mindset so easily, it's not particularly unrealistic & it absolutely sucks to deal with but in the context of tangibly working toward world peace it's also not an issue to try & help such people both in material ways & in helping them learn better rather than cut them down or abandon them to a grim fate. all this to say that's why i don't think garlemald is written badly, as unpleasant as the experience might be. walks off the stage
#ffposting#also if you hate garlemald's writing THIS much but like emet-selch i think theres a disconnect there i just dont understand.#like he made it that way. you do understand this is all because of him right. maybe you should be more upset about that.#garlemald is very uncomfortable & the real life parallels it draws make it a very very touchy Thing to deal with#but i do not think it is handled badly.#their supremacy is entirely gone by the time of edw the people there have known nothing but propaganda#the populares are known to be a minority. people like cid or jenomis aren't that common. this is why they get along#the propaganda is such that even occupied domans like asahi fell for it & feel absolutely nothing for their kin#thats what propaganda does. there is absolutely a degree of responsibility regarding what they do & i would never say otherwise#however the idea that we should let them die & not get a chance to rebuild after theyve lost everything (again) is like. huh.#when you want to work toward world peace in a meaningful way you cant just abandon anyone like that.#like thats a whole people. they suck! but it is not immutable & they deserve the opportunity to do better like any other#id much rather they face retribution for their actions in meaningful ways including working toward reparations#wrt all the peoples the empire occupied than to round them up to kill them or worse let them die to the telophoroi#OR to becoming blasphemies. that would make things so extremely worse.#i just dont understand how you can have sympathy for jullus when he was just like everyone else at first#but you want to leave the rest of them to die. & i dont get how you can like emet & want them to die.#like he fucking did this its a pretty notable very fucking bad thing that he did. no doubt varis has made it worse#but varis was in power for like 2 years at best.#that emet was playing a role & did not actually believe in or care about what he was doing does not erase that he did it#& i personally find it hypocritical to like him if you balk at the idea of garlemald restoration. clears throat#i believe in killing fascists but i also dont believe in punitive justice#& by the time of edw garlean civilians do not hold the systemic power they once mightve#which i think is also important. their entire country is in shambles.#if anything its the ideal opportunity for them all to start anew & learn better. shed their preconceptions as one might say#that said i still skip garlemald cutscenes bc i dont need cunts calling me a savage ✋-_-#do not take any of this for garlean apologia i fucking hate dealing with them on an individual level as a xaela player lmfao#but yeah. if you can feel pity for livia who is a military general WHO HAS ACTIVELY KILLED YOUR FRIENDS#but not for the civilians whove never been exposed to anything other than propaganda. idk man. 30 tags. fly free my post
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