#idk if i just did it wrong but it’s horrible
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demon-country · 1 day ago
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#wiggles hands #i personally think that stolas had it wrong because even before blitzø started yelling #stolas thought blitzø didnt feel the same and immediately ditched as opposed to like?? giving him a fucking minute to process?? not cool??? #like yes the trauma response about being yelled at and setting boundaries and all that. thats fine #but Why stolas did you Immediately leave it wasnt even a rejection he just didnt Understand #give him a Fucking SECOND!!?? #which is smth blitzø also yells abt in full moon iirc! bc like DUH!!??? #and there IS power imbalance in the way stolas just tosses blitzø outside via teleportation. #it DOES imply he thinks little of blitzø In That Moment bc hes 'seeing his abuser' #but like... he would not teleport stella outside like that. even when he asserted his boundaries w her he NEVER did that shit #it WAS disrespectful to blitzø. it was. and the immediate dismissiveness the next morning obv didnt fuckin help #cuz blitzø immediately went on the defensive and like yeah he said horrible shit but FUCK DUDE he didnt instigate it! #like yeah stolas doesnt have to sit there and take it EXCEPT HES THE ONE WHO FUCKING INITIATED THE ISSUE? SO YES HE KIND OF DOES HAVE TO#HEAR BLITZØ OUT AND SIT THERE?? #puts my head in my hands. #and all the ppl talking abt ou well its stolas' house so he gets to portal blitzø out! #you are a fucking dick? you cant spring a huge relationship change on somebody and then run off and act the hurt party when they havent even #processed it yet! and then KICK THEM OUT when they understandably get ANGRY at you dismissing them? and HELLO. STOLAS DISMISSES BLITZØ.#HES NOT ONE OF YOUR SERVANT IMPS DUDE! HELLOOOO?????? #idk idk idk like stolas was definitely going through it but HOLY SHIT you guys cant be serious when you say it was equal on both sides #when theres a very obvious clear systemic power imbalance. like youre FUCKING WITH ME?? you cant be serious rn.
Wow. This... sure is a lot of extremely bad faith misinterpretations of those scenes. I'm going to address all of this step by step, I guess, because my dude, you are wildly off the mark on basically everything you accused Stolas of. So I hope you're ready, because this reply is going to be very long.
"#i personally think that stolas had it wrong because even before blitzø started yelling #stolas thought blitzø didnt feel the same and immediately ditched as opposed to like?? giving him a fucking minute to process?? not cool??? #like yes the trauma response about being yelled at and setting boundaries and all that. thats fine #but Why stolas did you Immediately leave it wasnt even a rejection he just didnt Understand #give him a Fucking SECOND!!?? #which is smth blitzø also yells abt in full moon iirc! bc like DUH!!???"
Yeah no, Stolas had every right to walk away, and was 100% justified in doing so. Maybe it wasn't entirely fair to Blitz, because on his end of things it looked totally different, but you already seem to understand what it looked like from Blitz's pov, so since we're talking about whether they equally fucked up or not, then I want you to step back from that and think about how it looked to Stolas, too.
Blitz did not respond to Stolas' confession with "hold the fuck on" or "what the fuck?" or "what do you mean?", nor did he do literally anything at all to suggest that he was confused or needed a moment to process what Stolas was saying. Blitz's immediate, snap reaction was to go "ohhh, okay you're fucking with me! This is an interesting roleplay, never done this one before but I can get into it. 'Ohhh, Stolas, I'll stay with you~! I love you sooo much~!'"
Perhaps you've never experienced this, but let me assure you that it is soul-crushingly awful to confess something important to you to someone you trust, only for them to completely write it off as a joke and/or make fun of you for it. It's extremely humiliating and feels like a deep betrayal, because you trusted them and were vulnerable with them, and in return all you got was mockery.
I've asked a number of real life actual people who have all, without fail, said that if that happened to them they'd end the conversation right there and walk away. Most of them, including me, said they'd leave just so they could go cry in private, and one said that they'd basically say "fuck you" and leave because they were pissed off. Stolas was the former. Take a moment to really, genuinely think about what your own reaction would be to having someone you love and trust make fun of you after you confess something important and vulnerable. It doesn't have to be a love confession, mine certainly wasn't, but do you honestly think you'd want to stick around after that?
So Stolas would have been justified in walking away just from that. He was very kind as he took his leave too and tried to bow out as gracefully as he could without causing a fuss, which is made all the more impressive because Blitz unintentionally triggered Stolas' trauma with the roleplay bit. Stolas has lived with Stella for 18 years at this point in the timeline, and part of how she abused him was humiliating him and mocking his feelings. He hides it decently well with Stella, because he's had decades of practice at this point, but we see in Ozzie's that being humiliated, especially in public, is a trauma landmine that Blitz tripped right onto. Yeah, he's going to leave, and it's not a fault that he does.
Moreover, you'll notice that Stolas doesn't kick Blitz out here or tell him to leave. He walks away further into the house, and yes he's probably expecting that Blitz will take it as an opportunity to bounce, but he does not tell him to go. Blitz could have waited as he took the moment he needed and thought things over, and then talked and asked whatever questions he needed to after Stolas came back. It was his bedroom and it was midnight, it's not like Stolas wasn't going to come back within the next couple of hours. Or Blitz could have left, thought things over, and come back. Instead, he followed after Stolas, which wasn't a great feeling for either of them, because Stolas was only barely staving off a breakdown and Blitz was getting hit in that abandonment trauma all over again, but Stolas walking off scared him so he acted on the impulse to not let Stolas get away. 
And he started off fine! Even though he was basically chasing Stolas, he wasn't angry or anything. He asked "wait, you were serious?! Hold on now, Stolas. What the fuck?" and Stolas did his best to answer even as he kept walking, rather than telling him to go away or kicking him out. His answer was poorly worded though and it set Blitz off, which is when we get to your next point.
#and there IS power imbalance in the way stolas just tosses blitzø outside via teleportation. #it DOES imply he thinks little of blitzø In That Moment bc hes 'seeing his abuser' #but like... he would not teleport stella outside like that. even when he asserted his boundaries w her he NEVER did that shit #it WAS disrespectful to blitzø. it was.
???? How on earth did you reach this conclusion?? Of course Stolas would never teleport Stella outside like that. That's not respect, that's fear. It took everything he had to stand up to Stella the way he did, which we know because he collapsed as soon as she was gone. He was terrified of her; he was backing away while she approached and knew she was about to hit him. He was fighting back, yes, but you can tell from her reaction that he almost never has in the past. It had nothing to do with respecting her, because his normal response seems to be either standing there silently taking the abuse or shrinking in on himself while trying to placate her.
As for what happened in the ballroom, Stolas was triggered for the second time in just a handful of minutes, this time by Blitz slamming open the door and yelling. It says absolutely nothing about how much Stolas does or does not respect him that these actions triggered a trauma response in Stolas. Trauma doesn't work like that. Anyone doing that to Stolas would have made him panic, because when you're experiencing a traumatic reaction, even if you're somewhere safe with someone you implicitly trust, your brain freaks the fuck out.
It was in no way disrespectful to kick Blitz out, it was just Stolas going into extreme Flight mode. Blitz wasn't letting him leave and at the end even ran towards him (to apologize, but Stolas had no way of knowing that and Blitz was already half out the portal before he started to say sorry and didn't even finish it. Also, you hear Stolas very faintly saying he's sorry before the portal closes), of course he's going to force Blitz out! He didn't want a fight with Blitz like he had with Stella, because he wasn't angry, he just wanted to be alone.
"and the immediate dismissiveness the next morning obv didnt fuckin help #cuz blitzø immediately went on the defensive and like yeah he said horrible shit but FUCK DUDE he didnt instigate it! #like yeah stolas doesnt have to sit there and take it EXCEPT HES THE ONE WHO FUCKING INITIATED THE ISSUE? SO YES HE KIND OF DOES HAVE TO#HEAR BLITZØ OUT AND SIT THERE??"
No, he really, really does not have to sit there and hear Blitz out. Stolas made it very clear in actual words that he did not want to see Blitz right then, because he was feeling too raw so soon after everything and Blitz was not giving him any space to breathe. And Blitz, once again, did not leave. He also, you'll notice, didn't force Blitz to leave, he just asked him to go, because this time he wasn't outright panicking. And even then, he kept giving Blitz chances to talk things out with him, showing that he wasn't dismissing Blitz.
Also, you're really telling me that you think a victim of domestic violence should be forced to stick around when someone is yelling at them? It doesn't matter if he "initiated things", that doesn't mean he's going to okay when someone starts grabbing and yelling at him. If Blitz was being calmer about it, and wasn't continually intentionally mocking Stolas and his feelings throughout that conversation (which, again, big trigger for Stolas, he's just hiding it better now because he was braced for it. Note that he's reacting a lot like he did when Stella was mocking him at the party) then I might agree with you. If Stolas had actually instigated the garden scene by telling Blitz to come over and then refused to listen while Blitz tried to explain, that'd be super fucked up. But Stolas didn't ask Blitz to come over, explicitly told him to leave because it hurt to much to talk to him right then, and Blitz was not being calm. Blitz was self-destructing and was being both clingy and aggressive, because he was scared of losing Stolas but was even more terrified of being vulnerable, and he habitually masks his fear with anger.
"#puts my head in my hands. #and all the ppl talking abt ou well its stolas' house so he gets to portal blitzø out! #you are a fucking dick? you cant spring a huge relationship change on somebody and then run off and act the hurt party when they havent even #processed it yet! and then KICK THEM OUT when they understandably get ANGRY at you dismissing them? and HELLO. STOLAS DISMISSES BLITZØ."
Buddy. Dude. Stolas didn't actually spring this on Blitz. Blitz literally says at the beginning of the episode that he's been avoiding Stolas because he knows Stolas wants to talk, and he doesn't want things to become complicated. He knows things will change as soon as he actually talks to Stolas and that freaks him out, because in his mind it can't possibly be something good, and this fear is exacerbated by what Loona told him. He literally tells Fizz that Stolas does things to show he likes him, and multiple people have flat out told Blitz that he does, and Blitz can't believe that for multiple reasons, but this entire thing has been building up for months and he knows it. 
Stolas also did not spring his "feelings bullshit" on Blitz either, despite what Blitz claimed. It might have felt like it, because up until then he was in complete denial of those feelings being genuine, but Stolas has not been subtle, by any means. He has, in his and everyone else's minds, been showing Blitz that he cares about him at the very least as a friend, since this whole thing started. Even in fucking Loo Loo Land, despite him awkwardly trying to flirt with Blitz a couple of times, he doesn't actually try to start anything while they're there. He doesn't even seem to expect something sexual to happen between them at all, because he says he wants Blitz and his employees to come and immediately offers to pay Blitz with money, rather than sexual favors like Blitz anticipated. He's using it as an excuse to hang out with Blitz - because he's an idiot who didn't think about how uncomfortable it'd be for literally everyone involved, especially Octavia - and Blitz even knows that because he knows Stolas doesn't actually need one bodyguard, let alone three.
He invited all of them to the harvest moon festival because he thought it'd be fun, again with no expectation of anything sexy happening. He came to rescue I.M.P. with no ulterior motive, he just wanted to help them. He didn't ask for or suggest that he wanted sex in return for the save either, he just asked for a thank you in a very pouty voice because none of them thanked him, and Blitz turned things sexual, which he was happy to follow the lead on. He was super excited for the date, dressed up super fancy, proudly walked into Ozzie's holding Blitz's hand, tried over and over to talk to Blitz because he thought it was a real date, stood up to defend Blitz from Verosika (which Blitz didn't see and which he didn't get to follow through on, because Ozzie took that chance to go on the attack and publicly humiliate him), and even after that disaster he still invited Blitz in solely to hang out and maybe cuddle a bit.
He would ask Blitz to stay the night after they were done having sex instead of just kicking him out, which we see in the memory fragments. He called Blitz on the regular just to talk about his day and was frequently interacting with him on social media, both for approximately a year and a half. He was oblivious to how condescending his attempts at flirting were and had no idea how demeaning it was for Blitz until Blitz finally showed him how much all that hurt him (after Ozzie's), but he only was acting like that and talking that way because he genuinely believed that it was what Blitz wanted and was into, based on their first night together (doesn't excuse it, of course, but it was another way he was desperately trying to show how much he wanted Blitz).
For close to two years by the time The Full Moon rolled around, Stolas has been trying very hard and kind of ineptly to show Blitz he likes him, and at the very least wants to be real friends with him (that also have sex). Literally everyone who has seen them together knows how much Stolas likes Blitz, including Blitz despite him being in denial of it. He has tried again and again and again for nearly two years to show Blitz he cares about him and wants him around, and Blitz - for understandable reasons given his own trauma, history, biases, and hangups - has rejected him time and again. That's why Stolas was expecting Blitz to reject him following his confession. He expected Blitz to tell him to fuck off or to just take the crystal and run without looking back, but he didn't expect to be (unintentionally) mocked. He didn't expect Blitz, who he trusted, to humiliate him. Even without the trauma he has surrounding that, after all the other rejections of course Stolas is going to take Blitz mocking him as another rejection. He didn't think Blitz was confused, because he thinks he's made his feelings pretty damn clear for ages now, and that's why he said he had his answer and was trying to leave before he started crying - which most people hate to do, because crying in front of other people is often a mortifying experience.
"STOLAS DISMISSES BLITZØ.#HES NOT ONE OF YOUR SERVANT IMPS DUDE! HELLOOOO?????? #idk idk idk like stolas was definitely going through it but HOLY SHIT you guys cant be serious when you say it was equal on both sides #when theres a very obvious clear systemic power imbalance. like youre FUCKING WITH ME?? you cant be serious rn"
He wasn't dismissing Blitz. He super fucking did not. He wanted to be alone so he could go cry his guts out, and Blitz was scaring him by getting angry and slamming open doors. That's not dismissing someone, that's going into panic mode. He wasn't treating him like a servant, if he was he would have been bored and unaffected and told him to go. He. Was. Scared. He was hurt and humiliated and scared and Blitz was chasing him down and yelling at him. It's not playing the victim to be scared and it's not playing the victim when your feelings get mocked and you want to get away from the person who just stomped all over your heart.
Blitz's reactions make sense from his end, and absolutely he was being triggered too - he was in fact the one triggered first, though that too was by accident. Yes, his anger was justified and he had every right to express it when he felt he wasn't being listened to. Yes, he wasn't intending to scare Stolas. Yes, Stolas has messed up and hurt Blitz in numerous ways over the course of the series. But my god, that does not mean that Stolas' feelings and reactions are any less justified and reasonable.
It was equal on both sides. They both equally fucked up. They both accidentally hurt and triggered each other. They both were scared. Stolas sending Blitz away was the only thing he could think of to de-escalate the situation, because Blitz was actively trying to pick a fight and Stolas had no idea that Blitz would stop just because he started crying (you think anyone else has ever stopped just because he cried? We literally see both Stella and Paimon mock him for it, and Stolas isn't exactly in a rational sort of mindset here).
Are you really, honestly, truly telling me that you would be fine just standing there and letting someone who just hurt you scream at you in a way that reminded you of both your domestic abuser and the person who recently tried to murder and mutilate you? Are you kidding me? You have completely misinterpreted everything Stolas has said and done in those two episodes by refusing to look at it with any amount of sympathy or compassion and immediately jumping to the worst possible scenario.
"Stolas shouldn't have portalled out Blitz during Full Moon" this and "Stolas should have stuck around and listened to Blitz in the garden during Apology Tour" that. Do y'all not realize how it sounds to demand that a domestic abuse victim stick around when someone is yelling at and insulting them? And on the flip side of that, do the other half of y'all not realize how it sounds to demand that someone, particularly someone from an oppressed group, never get loud or demonstrably angry just because it might scare someone?
Like Blitz had every right to air his grievances in Full Moon, and being angry when you're treated poorly is a perfectly normal, reasonable response. It's not inherently abusive to yell and stomp when you get mad, and it's completely unreasonable to say that Blitz is just because he did. But at the same time, Stolas does not have to sit there and take being yelled at when he's already had to suffer though someone doing it to him maliciously for at least 17 years. He does not have to take being grabbed, being screamed at, or having his clearly stated boundaries ignored either, like at the beginning of Apology Tour. Him getting upset when someone does that to him, when he's only just gotten away from his abuser and was almost murdered for it, is not some failing on his part or him playing the victim.
Blitz's trauma doesn't care that Stolas wasn't actually going to abandon Blitz, and it doesn't care that that the hurtful things Stolas has said and done have come largely from a place of ignorance rather than a lack of care. He's protecting himself the only way he knows how and is blinded by the sheer intensity and longevity of his self-loathing, but frankly it was a good thing for him to finally speak up about how some of the things Stolas does makes him feel, and it's a very good thing that he's actually trying to fight to keep Stolas rather than just booking it and throwing a grenade behind him on the way out.
Just like Stolas' trauma doesn't care if he knows Blitz is different than Stella and wouldn't actually hurt him, and it doesn't care that Blitz's anger comes from a hurt, scared, and traumatized place as opposed to the pleasure Stella took in hurting and scaring him. Stolas hasn't had any time to even begin to heal from the damage she did to him, and frankly if he's scared and breaking down like in Full Moon it's actually a step up if he's removing himself from whoever is triggering him, even if it wasn't fair to Blitz who was, in his own way, attempting to work things out.
Neither of them is the bad guy here, they're just very reasonably upset and having clashing trauma responses. You can be compassionate and understanding of both sides without saying that either of them should have to just sit there and take it when someone is greatly upsetting them. It's normal to get angry when you're scared and upset, and it's normal to cry and run away when you're scared and upset, and neither are wrong or bad just because in the moment when emotions were running high they each did several things that accidently set the other off, especially when they had no way of knowing it was a trigger beforehand.
None of this is say that the way things shook out was great or productive, and they definitely need to work on healing so that they're not letting their fear and trauma control them. If they're going to get to place of real understanding, then at some point these two need to sit down with the intent to talk things out and have an honest and open conversation with each other, without Blitz yelling or Stolas running or either of them letting their preconceived assumptions and biases get in the way of actually listening. Blitz needs to not self-sabotage and Stolas needs to not shut down, and that's going to be really fucking hard for both of them, because that's how they've been coping with their trauma for literal decades.
And to his major credit, Blitz got it right at the end of Apology Tour, the only thing he got wrong was the timing because Stolas was so drunk that I'll be honestly surprised if he remembers most of it in the morning. He wasn't in any state of mind to listen or pay attention, but at the same time, to his credit he's already been reflecting on what Blitz has been saying to him and trying to figure out where and how he fucked up and hurt Blitz. And also, he kept saying things like "right now", which means he will be ready to talk things out eventually if he's just given a little bit of space to put himself back together and think about things.
And guys, please. Just because some people will start crying to try to manipulate and guilt trip those around them whenever someone gets upset at something they did, doesn't make that what Stolas did. He was trying to get away so Blitz wouldn't see him cry. And just because some people like to fly off the handle and rage at every perceived infraction, doesn't make that what Blitz did. He had justifiable cause to be angry and in Full Moon he didn't think Stolas was listening, so he tried to make himself louder and bigger in an attempt to make himself be heard and his hurt be acknowledged. If one of their reactions made you uncomfortable, that's fine, there's nothing wrong with that. But the story isn't about those kinds of people, it's about two fictional demons who aren't trying to hurt or manipulate each other, they're just struggling to juggle trauma, ignorance, and the desire to be together. They're not able to yet, but that's what character arcs are for.
And just to head off any comments on it: no, the narrative is not villifying Blitz and it's not babying Stolas or trying to sweep any of the shit he's done under the rug. Blitz being angry and self-destructive doesn't make him a villain, and Stolas crying a few times and still being pretty ignorant of how he's come across doesn't mean they're trying to say he's done nothing wrong.
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crystallizsch · 7 hours ago
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jhgnngggn i’m back to thinking about post-nrc yuusha and jamil--- extremely long ramble below prepare for uh angst??? i guess???
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i buried some of these lore in the tags somewhere but anyways-
yuusha and jamil exchanged hair ties when they separated and went off on their own post-nrc as a way to "remember each other by".
they both have different plans for their own futures despite wanting to be "together"— whatever that means. yuusha stayed at nrc working as staff and jamil is out travelling.
at this point though they STILL never officially “dated” but oh they were so so close SO many times to putting a label on it.
“what happened then” <- idk man they’re incredibly stupid. yuusha is still horribly noncommittal and jamil is- jamil. (“…the hell does that mean” <- SHHHH i will not elaborate)
they ended as just "really good friends" (something something on they’re on the spectrum of queerplatonic but they didn’t understand that that was the case) .
━━━━━━✦
at first they did well keeping in touch from a long distance—
yuusha never forgets to check in on jamil, texting/calling whenever possible, she was always the first to initiate.
and jamil still would’ve made the same effort of course, but yuusha always beats him to it. he sort of just expected her check-ins every day.
and he looks forward to that 1-15 notifications that he gets as soon as he wakes up. it does get him going knowing that she was specifically thinking of him at the start of the day.
that wouldn't last though. eventually, the more yuusha met more people and cultivated new relationships, the more she felt herself grow further and further apart from jamil.
yuusha thrives on physical relationships and the majority of the time the only communication and contact between her and jamil is through the phone.
and so the messages from her became less and less frequent as yuusha got more absorbed and interested in her work and other relationships.
don't get it wrong, she still cared about jamil. loved him even, in her own way.
he just became less of a priority.
━━━━━━✦
it was bittersweet to think that jamil finally had the chance to initiate the conversation.
because that meant yuusha had been thinking of him less and he had to remind her himself that— hey he's still there, remember him?— although that's not exactly what he would say. that's a bit too antagonistic and petty. surely, she's just busy. right?
yuusha would respond as if everything was normal. but the usual fondness, the usual warmth, they weren't there. her words through the screen felt dry. forced.
she can use the unnecessary punctuations and emojis she wants but she is not getting past him.
they called. it was nice to hear her voice. but. there's the same feeling of detachment. why are they talking as if this was one of their first times?
yuu, what happened?— is what jamil wanted to ask. but he would also respond nonchalantly. as if everything was normal.
jamil still tried to reach out to her. similar to how she did with him.
but it was to no avail.
their interactions felt too far gone from what they had.
eventually jamil also realized that there was No Point.
if she wasn’t going to make the effort anymore, why should he?
━━━━━━✦
professor yuusha tala walks in to her class which her signature braid and feathered hair tie.
it's lovely having gotten used to working at nrc. her students are surprisingly behaved and she enjoys teasing chatting with her coworkers. surely she isn't missing anything, is she?
and the traveler, jamil viper. he's seen most of the sights, experienced a lot of things. it's like he is slowly fulfilling his childhood dreams.
he ties his hair with the same one he's been using for years. it's a surprise it hasn't snapped yet from how worn out it looks. this really belonged to someone so cheap, huh.
he wonders why he's still using it. he had come across fitting souvenirs that could replace it.
waste of money— jamil convinces himself. besides, this hair tie is fit for every occasion and it's still holding up anyway.
he'll just get a new one when this one finally bites the dust.
if it ever does.
it's really stubborn for a hair tie.
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destinygoldenstar · 8 hours ago
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TRAILERRRRRR!!!!!
Okay, so Netflix DIDN'T lie. Confirmed.
I'm NOT as scared about the release date as others. I'm still worried. But I can also see it because from what I've heard, Episodes 2-4 were being made around the same time. So, by that logic, the quality should be similar.
"But why was there such a gap with 2 & 3 then?" MURDER DRONES WAS RELEASING ITS FINALE IN BETWEEN. THAT'S WHY. Some of the animators for Digital Circus work on Murder Drones too. So OF COURSE, to avoid overworking them, there'd be a gap for Digital Circus content.
And now that Murder Drones has ended, there's not that issue anymore.
That's the logic I'm going with, anyway. I would wait to raise the red flags till AFTER this episode comes out and we hear Episode 5 comes out in, like, a month or something.
I HOPE TO GOD THAT LINE AGES HORRIBLY.
Also, um... an episode about working minimum wage labor.
These episodes are built for me, I swear.
We also have the characters in different outfits, which is neat. Clearly just for this episode. Still.
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I NOTICED THIS POSTER.
"Customer is always right! Serve with a smile!"
THE AMOUNT OF TIMES I HAVE BEEN TOLD THIS IS INSANE AND DRIVES ME ABSOLUTELY NUTS.
I WOULD GET SCOFFED AT AND SCREAMED AT BY PEOPLE, AND I'M THE ONE THAT GETS IN TROUBLE.
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We also have Ragatha and Gangle interacting.
I wonder why they're playing with a baseball specifically.
Because in the last episode the leisure activity played into the adventure.
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JAX'S NAMETAG SAYS "I DON'T CARE"
LMAO
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Gangle looks like she's been possessed by Monokuma.
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This is DEFINATELY a new mask.
Here's my prediction:
Gangle has a background actress-related. (Comedy & Tragedy Mask Duality) And she is bullied CONSTANTLY in the previous episodes.
So when she's given the role of manager, she creates a new mask for herself, A NEW CHARACTER. One that gives her confidence and a character so ruthless that she can't be pushed around.
It's her spotlight. It's her time to shine.
So is the comedy&tragedy duality bipolar disorder?
We'll see. I got Kinger's mental issue wrong.
It could also be that Gangle is autistic. I KNOW AS AN AUTISTIC PERSON MYSELF. It's pretty easy for autistic people to latch onto a character they can bring to life in order to interact with people. But when provoked as themselves, confidence can easily break.
So no, I don't think she's being psychotic. I think she's putting on an act for her self esteem.
And I think whatever damage she causes in the episode will not have malicious intent from her.
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I say this because we ALSO see her looking at herself in the mirror.
THIS IS ZOOBLE'S ROOM BTW. THAT'S INTERESTING.
Did Zooble loan Gangle this?
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Assuming they did because we have THIS hand reach out to Gangle.
So what I'm thinking the start of the episode is: Gangle and Ragatha are playing baseball, by accident, the ball breaks Gangle's masks.
She's crying, she's writing, and then Zooble eavesdrops and offers to help.
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And we know this is Zooble's hand because they're participating in the adventure with that hand.
YAY!
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This guy is so stiffly animated. Or maybe it's just me.
Maybe there's a story reason for it. Idk.
They advertised this guy awhile back, said "He's everyone's favorite character".
I'm calling Glitch's bluff. I'm gonna say this guy is going to be VERY INTENTIONALLY written to be UNLIKEABLE, ANNOYING, AND MISERABLE.
And it's gonna be COMEDY GOLD to have Caine and the Circus go around exclaiming how he's the best.
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CAINE GETTING THIS SUGGESTION BOX IS SO INTERESTING.
I THINK this is from Zooble.
After their therapy session, and Zooble saw first hand what could happen if Caine cuts adventures altogether, I can see Zooble making adventure suggestions that would be comfortable for them to participate in. To please Caine and to protect the circus from collapsing.
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We're also getting Caine lore. BECAUSE WHERE IS THIS ROOM SUPPOSED TO BE? THIS LOOKS FAR TOO NORMAL.
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AND WHAT IS POMNI DOING HERE CRAWLING ON THE FLOOR?
First off, I'm okay with her taking a backseat. She's the main character so obviously she'd get the lionshare of screen time. BUT there are other characters in this show and the show knows that. So as a Pomni Stan, I'm completely okay with this.
BUT is she snooping on Caine???
Two possibilities: One, this is just the burger place. Which is likely.
OR this is where Caine is, and she dips from the adventure to eavesdrop and figures out some lore stuff.
Not seeing her doing much else this episode anyway.
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CAUSE LOOK AT THIS. SHE'S TRYING TO THROW AWAY SOMETHING AND GETS CAUGHT BY GANGLE? SHE HIDING S&#T DOG.
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THE GLOINK QUEEN IS BACK.
Probably as just a cameo. BUT THE GLOINK QUEEN IS BACK.
Hmmmm... if the Gloink Queen is coming back, I wonder if someone else could show up...
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indigosaffron · 3 days ago
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Caitvi being endgame was the thing that ruined season 2.
I don't mean that in a homophobic way - I am literally a lesbian and in the first season, I rly liked Caitvi's dynamic. Vi was given a space to heal and a person who helped and cared for her. She didn't need to protect and lead Caitlyn like she did with Jinx, Mylo and Claggor, and as a result we got to see her heal and be vulnerable as she didn't have to be strong for the people she loved. Caitlyn, on the other hand, had grown up sheltered and privileged, and her relationship with Vi allowed her to see the people of Zaun more clearly and encouraged her to help them and set aside her prejudice. This dynamic was also reflected in how the show portrayed the people of Zaun. In the first season, it's very pro-Zaun, pro-revolutionary, anti-fascism, all that.
And then the second season, Caitlyn pulled a complete 180, started acting like a fascist and hating the people of Zaun, and in the end... Vi forgives her.
Is this in character for both of them? Yes, actually. Caitlyn has grown up sheltered and was raised to look down on the people of Zaun, it's very easy for her to just turn back to that way of thinking. Vi is also incredibly dependent and forgiving when it comes to those she loves. We see how hard it is for her to let go of anyone - Vander and Powder are obvious examples. So it isn't strange that she doesn't leave Caitlyn and forgives her in an instant.
Would it have been so much more interesting if Vi didn't forgive her? Yes. A million times yes. I would've loved to see that character growth for Vi, of her establishing that boundary and deciding that she had to leave Caitlyn behind. I'm honestly kind of mad that they gave Jinx so much development and growth throughout the story and Vi has barely changed. Her political beliefs seems to be the biggest thing that has changed, and even those are rooted in the same character traits - first she was fighting for powder, now she's fighting for Caitlyn.
It's not just that I'm mad that they never address how toxic this relationship becomes in season 2. I saw someone else mention how it went from "privileged + oppressed" in s1 to "oppressor + oppressed" in s2 and if that doesn't just sound like literal abuse to you idk what to say. They frame this in the show as a normal relationship - at best, it's both of their faults and their both in a bad place mentally. They never address how horrible Caitlyn acts throughout act 1.
As a result of this, they kind of lose the whole "Piltover is an oppressive force and the people of Zaun should revolt" plot line. Instead it becomes "both sides are bad and in the wrong", just like with Caitvi's relationship. After all, the show can't properly condemn Piltover and yet support Caitlyn at the same time. And if they want Caitlyn and Vi together in a relationship that looks healthy, they have two options - either they address the flaws in the relationship and take the time required to fix them, or they ignore the flaws and pretend it's not a big deal.
They don't have the time in 2 seasons to address those flaws, though, so they decide to ignore them, and in doing so ignore the flaws in Piltover's overall treatment of Zaunites. This creates a contradicting message between the first and second seasons. In the first season, it was obvious that the Zaunites were being mistreated and that they should rise up. In the second season, they suddenly ignore all of that, and instead make the nations unite to face the "bigger problem". I didn't really like the hex tech plot line to begin with because I felt like it distracted from the more important plot line, which was the whole Piltover v Zaun thing, which they completely brushed under the rug.
Maybe this would've been better if they'd had more time to properly flesh out Caitvi's relationship, but as it is, it would've been better if it wasn't endgame at all imo.
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moonyasnow · 21 hours ago
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Woe! Unfortunate magical accident upon ye, your OC has now been cursed to share pain with their beloved 🔗🤝It's a good thing either of them are not clumsy or accident-prone - unless? Oh no! Hopefully they can find someone who can undo this pesky spell, or just to keep them company until it wears off!
-🔮✨diodellet (hopefully im doin this magic nonon thing right)
Oh
Malleus and Irina sharing pain
...
OH
MALLEUS AND IRINA SHARING PAIN
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; ; dio I am so so so sorry this is probably not what you signed up for asking this but uhhhhhh
CW : SELF HARM
Also gonna say right now idk wtf is going on with the structure, or...anything, here? I just kinda...wrote stuff 0 editing
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Irina has had a habit, ever since she was little. Not a very good habit, not at all...but one she relied on.
When she felt horrible, as she did often, when her bad emotions and feelings overwhelmed her and became too much for her small body to handle...the only thing she could think to do to release the massive tension boiling under her skin was to hurt herself.
She'd bite herself: bite her lip, and her fingers, and the side of her hands that attatched her thumb to the rest of it. She'd scratch at her scalp and shake her head around trying desperatly to will away the bad thoughts, to just get them all to stop
It was the only thing a young, neglected child who'd never been to school could think to do to release that explosive energy inside her; to direct it outward. But at herself, so no one would notice anything breaking. She couldn't scream, or her parents would become mad at her. She couldn't kick something, or throw something-- she barely even had anything to throw, either. But she could bite. Even as a small child, for that was how she survived physically unscathed in that household, knew better than to try to bite either of her parents.
And biting her plush rabbit Clover, her best friend, was something she'd rather die than do. Clover always comforted her.
So of course...the only remaining target was herself.
And when she bit her hands, bit them hard until they bled, no one would notice her crying.
Even as she went on to live at an orphanage after her mother died and father left at age 9, and even after she was adopted by her uncle and moved in with him at age 13, she kept this habit up.
The pain was familiar. The only anchor she had to cling to when everyone she even thought about trusting kept on leaving her. All for those giant emotions, how scared she was of them doing just that.
She found catharsis in exchanging the emotional pain for the physical pain.
She'd never told anyone about it. She needed to hide it, like she'd always hid everything that could be considered 'bad' about her, so no one would have any reason to dislike her. To survive. And...because she was ashamed. She thought the scars it left on her hands and arms made her 'dirty'.
Something happened-- a mistake in a class shared with the 3d and 2nd years. Someone stumbled, and the spell they meant to cast came out wrong, and accidentally hit Malleus.
Normally he would have moved out of the way in time, but being preoccupied as he was both with casting his own spell, and devoting all his mental focus to thinking of something entirely different, someone entirely different, he was, for once, caught off guard, and swerved too late, a tiny spark of said spell grazing him. But that was enough, apparently.
The spell was one meant to link one of the senses of the one it was cast on, and a person they were thinking of.
Malleus didn't think much of it, knowing it would wear off by itself in time, only making note to be more careful than usual so as not to cause Irina pain. Since he didn't think it would come up he didn't tell her about it.
But later that night...
He felt invisible nails draw harshly across his lower arms, yet when he uncuffed his sleeve to check, he saw nothing. But he felt it. Nails scraping painfully across his skin. And then nails digging into the flesh near his elbow, and a sharp yet also crushing sensationg weighting down on the side of his thumb. Crushing, crushing, crushing down harder and harder until he felt a sickening feeling of flesh being torn open.
In an instant, flecks of green light surged around him and the scents of wet stone and burning wax of his room gave way to the musty odor of an old, off-green house of wood.
Not even reacting to Tomoe's yelp of surprise, he asked her where Irina's room was, having never been inside the building himself before. She said she'd go to get Irina, and he agreed.
Though the pain he felt persisted, no new pain came.
Seeing Grim run down the stairs a short while before Tomoe and Irina, Malleus' pupils narrowed into dangerous slits at the little fire-eared monster, thinking him the culprit.
Thinking he wanted to go on one of their usual nightly walks, Irina just slipped on her shoes and jacket after greeting him, asking if he wanted to go for a walk.
That may not have been why he came there...but who was he to deny her? So as fae cannot tell lies, he simply answered with his honest thoughts: "That would be lovely."
Seeing her outwardly perfectly fine, he started to wonder if perhaps he'd imagined it, or had mistaken something. Perhaps she hadn't been attacked by anyone, and had just gotten her hand hurt on accident?
She walked closer to him than usual that night...but he didn't notice until he felt her small hand slipping into his. When he looked back to her, he found his gaze met with just the mop of her messy, pale pink hair, her face lowered to face the ground to a degree where he couldn't see it. But feeling the hesitant grip on his hand, he closed his fingers over hers and squeezed gently, even as it caused pain to shoot through his hand again.
Throughout their walk, her grip on his hand slowly became tighter and tighter, and his responded in turn, until their hands were clasped so tightly it was almost painful in itself. Thought they both wore gloves, they held on tightly enough that he could feel her heartbeat through her hand, and feel it gradually slow over the course of their walk.
When they'd gotten back to Ramshackle and it was time to say goodbye, he kissed the back of her hand before he left. And with it and the flurry of fireflies, the pain on his hand vanished, the vision of her face a moment after.
In the time until the spell wore off, every time he sensed something similar, without fail, he would appear at Ramshackle and invite her out on a walk.
He didn't know the origin of the pain...but he decided he'd take it away, and replace it with his hand enveloping hers.
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@diodellet
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z0mb1e-sl1me · 1 year ago
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psa to all my fellow queer folk and trans people and people who bind in general; if you have sensitive skin, DO NOT USE TAPE. i don’t know if i was just doing it wrong (i followed several tutorials proven correct and safe) but it was unbearably itchy within the literal first day of wearing it. i had no lotion or excess deodorant under the tape, and all my life i’ve experienced something like contact dermatitis from many little things and have no prescription medication for it.
again, little PSA,
IF YOU HAVE SENSITIVE SKIN PLEASE BE EXTREMELY CAUTIOUS AND REFRAIN FROM TAPE BINDING !!!!
any tips from older trans folk who have experienced is extremely appreciated; especially aftercare for the blistering and painfully raw skin im experiencing atm.
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transmascutena · 9 months ago
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thinking about how akio sees his younger self in utena and wondering if there's any fondness there. doesn't change the horror of what he does to her obviously but i do wonder
#akio and utena#m#long ramble in the tags sorry:#the thing about akio is that he's so evil bit he's also so human#he has feelings. i just don't know what they are (if anything) toward his victims#he loves anthy at the very least i'm sure of that. even if he hates her too. just like she loves and hates him. the lines are blurry.#and i just. i have to wonder whether any of that extends to utena at all. we know anthy at times feels similarly about utena and dios#(and akio by extension.) the simultanious love and resentment. so it's not too unlikely i think.#like. even though he never had anything but bad intentions in getting close to her#i'm not sure it's possible to do everything he did and feel nothing#not that he has any meaningful amount of guilt or remorse for it. i don't think that.#and i obviously don't think he “loved” her in any of the ways she might have thought he did#but did he not care at all? did he not feel any kind of fondness or sympathy or just. idk. pity? for her?#whatever the case it wasn't enough to reconsider having her killed so you know. how much does that actually matter anyway#idk. i think about it a lot. how abusers are rarely entirely indifferent toward their victims#the role he's playing in her life is so fucked up but it IS a role he's playing and i wonder how much he you know... internalizes it?#how much does he believe the illusion of family that he invites her into? because akio DOES often buy into his own illusions.#(similarly i think it's possible that akio is fond of touga too. their mentor-protégé relationship is horrible and abusive#but that doesn't make it less real. you know? maybe real is the wrong word.)#when he talks in episode 25 about wanting utena and anthy closer that's obviously so he can continue to groom her#but is there something genuine there too? i don't know.#again. it obviously does not make anything he does better or even different. but it is interesting to think about to me.#on the other side of that coin does seeing his own past youth and naivete and desire to do good that he (maybe) once had#reflected back at him through her mean anything?#is there resentment there? that she is what he couldn't be? or more likely he just thinks that idealism is stupid.#either way it's something he wants to take from her. anyway ramble over.#i talk a lot about utena's feelings toward akio (familial vs romantic love and the way the two are intertwined in fucked up ways)#but not much the other way around. probably because utena is actually a sympathetic character whose feelings the show very clearly#wants you to analyze and think about.#which is... less true for akio i think. though he's still a complex character with complex motives. he's just harder to get a grasp on.
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chickenoptyrx · 2 years ago
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I added trunks to that last doodle and uuhhhh.. wasted a buncha time
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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pansear-forest · 2 months ago
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Hey fuck you for just taking one of pans account usernames and using it to support a groomer that pan actively said was a horrible person, hope your proud of yourself for that
Am just reblogging anything related to add to context objectively in a single place (and to make fun of harmful internet practices), i haven´t explicitly done any defense of any person.
I really can't say anything more than 'people got hurt in different directions in different severities and several actions taken were always gonna exacerbate the situation'.
And sorry if anyone it's still getting harassement from anons about what anyone else said or did. (you can talk to me about it or send screenshtos so i make a mural ^_~)
answer:
If YOU care so much about what pansear said why are you still running around harassing anyone in her name?
That's such a funny thing, a ton of third parties unwilling to stand along their words YET defending what SOMEBODY ELSE THOUGHT AND NOT EVEN LISTENING TO EVERYTHING ELSE THEY SAID.
Like did you really need "pansear's seal of approval" of what she thought to come and tell me you dislike me when she also said:
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-pansear, rw pandemonium server, never channel, 17/6/2024
You don't owe her anything or to anyone for that matter so why are you here. I mean i guess you ARE wearing a 'i don't really mean what am saying shirt'
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asklesbianonceler · 1 month ago
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I have not posted any of my analysis to reddit yet and I think I might just post it and ghost it. I've already spent too much time looking at other people's threads on there to feel any way good about interacting with folks.
I already went in an added the "I know you're going to bring this up let me save you the time" section which is exclusively touching on the frequent topics of:
"well what about the fingerprint nostrum and finger mimics? He is clearly just a crackpot"
And
"it's definitely some weird elaborate sacrifice to Metyr thing"
#if he's drinking hallucinogenic tea in his free time genuinely good for him. whatever man. i just do not think either of those items are-#at all relevant to the quest especially the nostrum because it is a placebo medicine and aint nothing fake about this shit#also i think theres a distinction between becoming fingers vs wanting to replace metyr? idk like as ive said i think he thinks he's-#better than the fingerweavers and rightfully so#like please come to a new conclusion other than “man this guy is on drugs”#also girl... metyr doesnt need sacrifices. like? where is that textually or in set design? metyr wants us to leave her the fuck alone#she's minding her own business EVERY TIME WE SPAWN INTO HER ZONE#like why are people so desperate for everything to have a dark undercurrent? not everything has to be some dark disney ass shit#“actually finding nemo is a hallucination & Marlin is insane & nemo is dead that movie is actually super fucked up & dory is a grim reaper”#like im sorry but this is how this extra shit all feels to me#like it is already fucked up and miserable?#is he 100% a good person? like thats genuinely person to person. theres personal gain from the quest#and hes definitely very good at getting what he wants#manipulate manifest mother#tail fingers on the vision board#devon yaps#and yap I did#like I don't want to be a bitch because yeah we should genuinely celebrate other peoples theories and hcs in these games#but i dont think “lol this guy is just on drugs” is one of those things#because i like spooky theories if theyre backed up.#but to say “its this weirdly horrible thing and youre all wrong” especially in his context is not great to me#Sorry. like may my own arrogance strike me down like the scholar i think i am 😤 farewell#because again its coming down to meeting this narrative without preconceived bias and most of the reddit stuff feels like-#“he is fucked up. won't say why. but i bet you know why i actually think this 🤫🤫🤫” like just you cant wrap your brain around guy mom#i do really want to reiterate this is about reddit shit. like i am so into people who love his character but interpret him more sinister💕😚#truly eating that shit up
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smile-files · 10 months ago
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oh yeah i watched the new ii and it was pretty wack. my only two thoughts are
i love cabby
they had to neutralize clover?????? hello?????????
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sporadicboinglerstealer2000 · 5 months ago
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I'm starting the think Emhyr's plans are just bs. Right I was thinking last night about it all and pretty sure we can all agree both Emhyr and Vilgefortz plans for Ciri are like the worse out of any of the factions that want her (the lodge and elves are both shitty too but I feel like are not as bad compared to these two twits, not by much still bad) But Emhyr says he'll '...beget her a son who will beget a son.' which would not work for his plans of making Nilfgaard a powerful empire since the elder blood can only remain active in the female line, so Vilgefortz must have omitted some details there. However his plans for marrying Ciri will only speed up this process by one generation. Like if he was normal about this and was like 'this is my long lost daughter' (easy to tell cos they look near identical and Ciri has the obvious looks of her mother and grandmother so anyone who met those two women (like Queen Meve of Lyria and Rivia, Calanthes relative) could verify that) then it would either be his foretold grandchild or great-grandchild who would be the actual prophecy child who would inherit his grand empire. However if he got his way then his son and grandson would have half of the gene because they aren't women and wouldn't be able to carry the full elder blood gene, so unless it was a family of controlled incest then the power he wants would just cease to exist. (I doubt getting the Nilfgaardians behind his whole Targaryen family would go down well).
Another thing, if the plan went accordingly and Ciri was on the ship with them then he'd would of sent away Pavetta anyway, which would make it all sooo much worse because Ciri would know he was then (even in the books she notes something familiar about him which would make sense since she was 5 when he 'died' so a part of her could have some recognition). Though admittedly that probably wouldn't happen since I think Vilgefortz would've gotten rid of him and then had both Pavetta and Ciri for his own sick plans. Essentially Emhyr has justified this incest by speeding up the process by a generation because he's impatient. If he hadn't attacked Cintra and instead sent some messengers to Calanthe being like 'hey it's me, your son-in-law I'm actually an emperor and Ciri will be my heir and as such Cintra will join Nilfgaard' then there's Cintra secured. Presumedly he had the whole incest plan the whole time looking for Ciri (I assume so anyway) and only changed his mind after Geralt tore into him, Yennefer didn't want her daughter to cry, said daughter cries so he lets her go. Like he only saw reason after having it pointed out to him? Also the fact it's obvious Ciri is practically identical minus the hair and probably eyes (are his eyes described?) If the incest plot didn't exist then he could just be like 'i've searched for you my long lost daughter you're an empress' then things could've gone a little better, only thing is now Ciri may actually want to go with him (I can see Geralt and Yennefer being able to accompany here or at least allowed to live), but no and I fail to see why at least a version of this couldn't happened.
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spaciebabie · 2 years ago
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As a certified Springtrap simp, which backstory for William do you prefer: one where he was a good dad driven mad maybe by jealousy or the loss of his youngest child, or one where he was always an abusive narcisist that cared for nobody but himself?
i feel like the, "im evil so i must also abuse my creations and/or children" has been really overdone. like idk im just tired of seeing it personally. and the whole "haha!!! im craaaazy!!" thing we get in the comics also rubs me the wrong way b/c. thats not. how he's portrayed in the games at all. esp hearing him in sister location he feels like he would be a calm sort of madness. he seems like a rational guy. he doesnt talk like that. he doesnt act like that. it seems really contradictory
i feel like him being a good dad (or at the least caring deeply for his children) gives him more urgency and like,,,,makes sense w/what we're given. it aligns the most w/the theories we have asta why he started killing etc. i also just enjoy the tragedy of it. he started out as a good guy w/good intentions and then was twisted inta something unrecognizable b/c he was so focused on tryin ta reach his goal. personally my hc is that he was jelly of henry and then the death of crying child tipped him over the edge and started his whole killing thing. imo its better than, "hee hoo i was evil FOREVER!! im PURE evil and have always been EVIL!!!" like. okay. wheres the subsistence?? give him depth dammit
why would he build a robot for his daughter if he didnt love her. why would he tell crying child he would put him back together if he didnt love him (not really cemented as something he said, but i mean who else would say it?? certainly not michael he was a boy. i think as a fandom we assume its heavily implied). it makes the afton kid's deaths so much more impactful. the prospect of this man losing pieces of his life bit by bit and being driven insane by it is enthralling
i love a good chaotic descent. i love thinking abt him being consumed w/a need ta revive his own son becoming obsessed w/life and death as a result. oh the irony of loving your own kid so much you would take others children away from them, knowing how losing your own felt. and the twisting of emotions as he sees his son michael someone who he would've died for, try ta stop him. b/c hes not understanding, they need ta b together again. thats all hes tryin ta do. get his family back tagether. and all these fucking obstacles are in the way of his only goal. and the manifestation of hatred of his own son b/c of this. b/c hes getting in his way. like, talk abt juicy. i want that man ruined. it just adds a layer of psychological torture that i just adore. william fucking ruined everything. he ruined his own happy family, he ruined his own life, and if he actually mourns that? chefs kiss.
my thought is, why even have him have a family in the first place if they're just there ta demonstrate he's evil? seeing the afton family purely as a plot device, we already know afton killed kids. one can assume a person who kills kids is a bad person (maybe? see this is where the juiciness comes in w/him caring for his children. is it really bad from his perspective if hes trying ta save his kid? or is it noble?) so we dont need ta b demonstrated ta that hes a bad person again. if hes just pure evil from the get go it doesnt make sense ta me ta have the afton kids be prominent in the story (besides michael, but even then he could probably be replaced by one of the victims family members) when you could illustrate the same point by focusing on the kids hes killed and their families. why do the afton kids matter if he treats all children the same. why are we focusing so much on the afton family and what appear ta b major story beats in their story, especially since the children he has killed do not get as fleshed out as the aftons do. i feel like if his family wasnt important ta him we wouldnt hear abt it at all. you could achieve the same message by making him single and childless.
do u kno how many stories there are of "Righteous Child Of A Horrible Guy Who Hates Everything, Even Their Own Family, Goes Out Ta Stop Their Parent And Save The Day" there are? its b/c its too easy!!! its too easy for u ta assume that a character is the worst and has been the worst forever!!! its too easy ta assume that an evil character would abuse their family!!! its too easy ta assume an evil character wouldn't have traits besides jealousy, hatred and narcissism!!!!
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monkee-mobile · 2 months ago
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Don’t you know that Tork is a wifebeater?
tags.
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boxwinebaddie · 5 months ago
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UNCLE NINA WRITES WEIRD JK STAN LETTERS!
hello benevolent angel people!
( because you're wonderful but bc you're doing gods work by supporting my dead fanfic from hell. c:’ )
so this is a lil...experimental? but bc i've been dabbling on that one ask large lore ask that set before kyle knows raven of crimson dawn is his stan, i've gotten very attached to writing the silly jersey letters to dead stan in his journal again. ( again, nina lore is that it's what a friend had me do when my first cat passed away.
i still write to her. <3 )
but this is just something i wrote to get back into the habit of writing again. i put it on docs and i used a font which...okay? tbh, i think looks exactly like i want jk's handwriting to look. like its very swirly, he is my calligraphy king. i didn't proof it bc i just wrote...all of it tonight like a weird crazy person.
also i realize jk sounds...a lot like me
— but he Is me, tbh?
like in some facets i did give him lil pieces of myself so he could grow into an uber tall thicc as hell academic hot jersey talk shit get hit boy.
( i also do think he's a lot goofier with stan in his little letters esp since he doesn't think that anyone is going to read them they are just his lil vent space. let it out king! )
as for the timeline...i think it's pre!rm bonus content? like i dropped a little context about stuff that happened before the fic, but i think it's probably written anywhere in the last 1-2 years of rm before kyle went to that crimson dawn concert. i'm not sure what compelled me to write it i just...really like vulnerable jersey just being a jersey dirtbag but like kneeling by the stan shrine and asking for light.
speaking of...as far as triggers go. mostly the spelling is just bad, help, but jersey does talk a lot about stan dying and is very...distressed about it. he's also...really depressed and is not at the moment coping super well, but is reaching out for help. <3 always reach out for help when you need it. i didn't mention anything specific, but he does just mention thinking he's not a good person, feeling ugly, unworthy, lost, etc...TW FOR HIM BEING SO VULNERABLE AND CUTE ALSO.
he is...my secret loverboy prince.
he is my lo-...
my L-
anyways...ROLL CLIP!
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#i cannot tell u what compelled me to make...this#but it did make me feel nice so idk its not the most professional or formulaic thing ive ever written#but i think its nice i am sorry if the found is too gnar i really wanted to do a jk letter in like a letter structure for once#also this is it so funny to me that jk out here trying to rizz himself up to fucking dead GHOST stan like he is insane#also im like oh god does he sound too much like me?? BUT HE IS ME I GAVE HIM LOTS OF ME IDK AAAA SORRY#he is a lovely man when hes not being horrible and i am Also a sweet lovely man when im not being horrible#but idk him giving stan all the cute nicknames and like writing a letter and for the first time in a very long time#wasnt completely honest but was mostly honest about just not being the best and needing to be and needin someone else#OOOOOOOOY MY EYES ARE WATCHING HELP ME#no im so sorry if u were victimized by sexy topdom jersey sometimes he is like on critical boyfailurisms#he wants to impress like one motherfucker and its dead stan marsh like HAUNT ME PROMISE ME#HAUNT ME LIKE AN OLD VICTORIAN HOUSE AN UNDERWATER SHIPWRECK when i tell u i was in pain#also not him just building his ideal boyfriend like he won i love you jersey SPEAKING OF DO U SEE HIM#DO YOU SEE HIM TRYING TO DO IT HES TRYING TO TYPE THE!!!! IM TELLING YALL HE CANT DO IT#HE COULDNT EVEN TELL DEAD STAN ANYWAYS THAT AS MAKING ME CRY sorry ill proof it a lots wrong w it#i am very sleepy nina please stop...not sleeping from stress#but i hope it pleases and sparkles <3
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themoonking · 1 year ago
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finally finished the priory of the orange tree after putting it off for like a year, and putting aside the fact that it's insanely boring, way too long, and the romance is lackluster, it certainly was a choice to, in a book at least in part about finding common ground and coming together, basically go "religion a is correct and good and its believers can continue on their merry lives, but religion b is a 100% incorrect wrong bad lie founded by a wrong bad misogynistic lying liar, and everyone who believes in it should convert and in fact we're going to end the book by heavily implying that the recently-converted queen is going to slowly but surely pressure the entire country to convert because their faith is wrong and bad". like that was certainly a decision that samantha shannon made.
#idk i don't love an entire religion being painted as objectively inherently bad and wrong#especially since none of the six virtue's actual teachings are that bad like#and also esp since the only other thing we learn about galian berethnet is that he was fucking r/ped by his own mother#and was so distraught upon learning this that he killed himself#the fact that aside from that its just like 'he was a lying liar who lies and hated women' just didn't sit right with me...#the priory of the orange tree#priory of the orange tree#the roots of chaos#anti booktok#samantha shannon#like the entire time before this was revealed i was like#'ah its so obvious - both faiths are going to end up being a little bit wrong and a little bit right'#'of course it will be revealed that cleolind and galian actually worked together to defeat the nameless one'#'and learning this will really press into the characters that they themselves need to work together to defeat him again'#but instead like????#and like even with the kalyba stuff it would have been so easy you can say like:#cleolind and galian worked together but kalyba (canonically posessive and jealous and willing to do horrible things to keep galian w/ her)#uses her magic to make cleolind believe that galian betrayed her which she then goes and tells her priory#+ in an effort to keep as low a profile as possible for herself while disguised as cleolind she makes galian believe that he did everything#and when her disguise falls he's so distraught that he kills himself and so the only one who knows the truth is kalyba#who certainly has no motivation to reveal the truth
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