#idk if anyone even cares about cats anymore

[lesbian-space-fish]

so um HERE is a link to a drive folder with a full audio of the cats broadway revival from 5 dec 2017

[kryscent]

mehndi?

pairings: diluc, xiao, childe, neuvillette x gn!reader (separate)

content briefing: fluff, kissing, lowk jealous!xiao lol, cw//allusions to cheating in childe's (nothing happens lmao reader is just being a little silly), suggestive in childe's part, lovesick genshin men :( (neuvi omg)

a/n: idk why i got so carried away for childe... the melusines are sick and tired lmao. lowkey desi/arab coded reader but applies to any and all if you're open to the concept!

synopsis: as a sumerian diplomat to your partner's nation, times come where you have to return to your homeland when certain duties call. this time, the akademiya scribe and acting grand master (and more importantly your former classmate and good friend), had sent you a short letter requesting your presence in the city. al haitham, ever so meticulous, had noticed some inconsistencies in the liyue-sumeru trade reports and needed your assistance to rectify the issue.

your most recent visit was two months ago, when you returned with an auburn flower painted into the palm of your hand (courtesy of nilou), fascinating your boyfriend greatly. you'd forgotten about the scene, especially in your rush to pack…

so when he shyly asks if you’ll get it again…

if there’s anyone who understands the saying, “duty calls”, it's DILUC. 

that being said, it doesn’t mean he’ll miss you any less… 

his ears colour scarlet, looking away as he asks, ‘do you think you’d have time to do your mehendi this time?’

you grin, eyes crinkling fondly at the conscious effort he made to pronounce it correctly. ‘we’ll see, ‘luc.’ And that was enough consolation of your absence for him, because he’d do anything to see the enchanting art on your hands again. A compensation of sorts, he thinks to himself, miffed. Despite never having seen something like it before, it was so inexplicably you, a simple, dainty extension of your heritage that made him fall for you even more, if that was even possible. 

you open your palms to him, every space that could possibly be painted on is covered in intricate designs of mehndi. ‘there’s a surprise for you in there, if you can find it.’ he pulls off his right glove, tilting his head at you curiously. 

he holds your hands in his, with the care of handling handcrafted terracotta, and searches through the patterns, his index finger tracing along. ‘that tickles,’ you mutter, squirming as an involuntary smile pulls at your lips at his determined expression. he tightens his hold just a tad at your words. ‘is that better?’ he hums, smiling faintly as he continues in his ministrations. 

he stops in his tracks, his breath hitching, and if his cheeks burned anymore he was sure he’d burst into flames, rivalling his vision. there it is, his surprise, along the side of your left ring finger – his name, in beguiling cursive. you’re struck with the urge to kiss him, when he beams so brightly you’d think wedding bells are tinkling, and he buries his face in your palms, bashful. 

‘i love you,’ he says softly, voice muffled by your skin. your smile widens, endeared, leaning down to try and meet his eyes as he avoids you, pulling your hands further towards him. ‘i love you too, ‘luc.’ 

‘how long will you be gone?’ XIAO turns to look at you from his perch on the balcony, watching you pack after you’d denied his help, before dismally turning back to the moonlight. you stifle a giggle at his sulking demeanour – if he had cat ears, they’d be flat against the top of his head; wallowing in his melancholy. 

‘a week, maybe less. al haitham and i work efficiently well together so the work might be done quicker than i’m thinking,’ you answer with a small smile, absentmindedly rolling up your socks. he makes a face – a small scowl that you don’t see with his back turned to you – at the mention of the scribe. ‘why can he work with you but i can’t come with you?’ he mutters petulantly. 

‘you know how much i’d love your company, xiao,’ you tilt your head kindly, reasoning with your adorably envious boyfriend. ‘but you’re not my protector alone, you have the people of liyue to keep safe, dear adeptus.’ he huffs quietly at your point, before turning to face you again, shifting his body to sit against the rails. 

‘then…will you do something for me?’ ‘anything,’ you roll a tunic, glancing at him fondly.  

‘you know, the designs you returned with last time?’ he begins, eyes trained on your palm. ‘you mean mehndi, right? want me to get it done again?’ he nods quickly, neck turned to look away from you as it slowly flushes crimson, his ears burning. 

you return in less than a week, as promised, spending a day in leisure after your work was done to participate in recent festivities. 

‘xiao,’ you say his name, summoning him as you settle onto the edge of your shared bed at wangshu inn. he appears comically fast, looking dishevelled. ‘you’re back,’ he breathes, his smile small. 

you open your arms, and he falls into them easily, sitting beside you. ‘although, i did stay over a day longer,’ you tell him, apologetic. ‘but for good reason! different communities in sumeru celebrate their own kind of festival of lights at different times of the year. like the lantern rite in liyue.’ he perks up from the crook of your neck, curious as you continue. 

‘they were celebrating deepavali in gandharva ville, and tighnari invited me to come join them,’ you show him your hands, smiling at him. ‘as promised,’ you say gently.

his lips part, eyes trailing over every crevice of your palms and wrists, hesitantly reaching out a hand to touch, like they’d wipe away any moment. he looks up at you, wide-eyed, when he sees his name across your inner forearm, at the top of your wrist. 

‘so my protector could join me,’ you tease, grinning, before he sways forward, pressing his lips to yours before you can see his ruddy cheeks.

so when he seems so oddly happy to see you leave…

is he cheating on you?!

‘so when do you get back, milaya?’ CHILDE questions, following you around your apartment as you pack your things for your travels and stay - to him, this was normal behaviour; to you, it was his tenth question in the last three minutes. 

despite your annoyance because you're stressed, and he isn't really helping aside from tailing you like a shadow and probing you with his quizzing, your breath catches slightly at the nickname. (you could be dating for years and he'd still have that effect on you, but never to let him know because he'd never live it down.)

when you'd told childe about your sudden business trip, promising that it wouldn't take very long, you'd expected his usual lamenting and sorrow, not…him grinning at you in anticipation. does he want me to take long, you think to yourself in dismay, your inner conscience pulling a horrified face. 

‘be sure not to rush so you can take time to, you know, hang out with your friends! you must miss them – especially that girl you mentioned last time, the artist – ni-something? nilly?’ 

‘nilou.’

childe’s mind is elsewhere, for once not noting your slowly darkening mood (usually he has the countenance of a spy, mostly when it comes to your upset). the second you mentioned visiting sumeru, he remembers the last time you went, and returned with the prettiest little tattoo on your palm, refusing to let go of hour hand for hours as he traced the design.

‘is it permanent? the henna?’ he sounds adorably curious, occupied with pressing gentle kisses to the tips of your fingers. you fight back a smile, warming at the sight of his cerulean eyes on you. ‘temporary, unfortunately. i’m not that good at doing it on myself,’ and you let out the laugh you’d been holding back when he frowns, drooping visibly, before perking up when you comb your free hand through his hair, expression fond, and he flushes. 

‘maybe i could learn?’

he doesn’t know why he’s so captivated by it, but something about you being adorned in your culture was alluring. he’s going to miss you terribly, he knows, weeping and throwing himself over the chaise and wasting away his days despondently until you return, but it is a soothing comfort to wait knowing that you’ll come back with a gift, seen as such despite being adorned on you (which makes it all the more a present), so he kisses you goodbye as he sees you off at the harbour, trying not to be as dejected.

you worry your bottom lip between your teeth on the way back, a few days earlier than you’d told your boyfriend you’d return. your mind returns to how he didn’t even shed a tear at the pier – you’d expected your dramatic boyfriend to almost flood the port like last time (he really has a knack for raising your standards).

his few letters had mostly probed about your days in detail, asking what you were doing, who you met, but talking about his own few and far between, and your suspicion had only grown. you know your boyfriend is easy on the eyes, and his flirtation comes so effortlessly to him in a way that has the people of liyue swooning (he doesn’t even realise it with how engrossed he is with you). it would cause him no struggle to find someone…else – someone better?

when he meets you at the harbour to pick you up, he presses his lips to yours as fervently as he can without the millelith escorting him away for excessive pda, his hand at your nape. ‘missed you, milaya,’ he whispers into your mouth, ‘–so much.’ 

he pulls away, grinning at you, before flipping your palms in his hand, sulking when he finds them blank. he looks up to complain before his words stop in his throat, eyes falling to the nilotpala lotuses on your collarbone, extending its stems and leaves outward and down the collar of your shirt, and his gaze darkens. his hand wraps around your wrist (gentle, always so gentle), pulling you in the direction of your apartment as his free hand lifts your bags easily. 

he pulls you into your shared apartment, dropping your luggage as he locks the door, before caging you against the wall between his arms. he leans down to meet your wide eyes, and you back away a little as your stomach flips. 

he ghosts his lips over yours, peppering up your cheek before dragging down your neck, humming when he reaches your collar, tugging it down just a tad, the mehndi lotus petals curving into the dip of your skin. ‘did your friend do this one too?’ he asks absentmindedly, kissing the spot before nipping it lightly, soothing over it with a teasing grin when you tug at his hair in warning, your breathing shallow. ‘’ts pretty,’ he looks up at you, eyes hardened to cobalt and half-lidded, his lips pulled into a lazy half-smile. 

you exhale sharply – he wasn’t asking if you’d stay longer so he could meet with his paramour; he just wanted you to have time so he could see the art on you again! (he’s so obsessed with you it’s actually stupid that you’d think he could even look at anyone but you). your heart stutters at the realisation as you push his smirking face away timidly, before your mind clears. 

‘you asshole if that bruises–’

so when you get a letter from his subjects…

as the iudex of fontaine, NEUVILLETTE is a busy man, and sometimes (most of the time) the work cut out for him rises to arduous levels. the only thing that made the wearying paperwork bearable was you. you, who would quietly bring a chair and organise his papers the way he likes it, sometimes filling it yourself methodically, perfectly, if it was within your scope of knowledge. you, who would bring him macarons and pastries at random, and pull him out of his office at meal times to eat together. 

you, who would brew tea to enjoy together at moments like this, when his head throbs from a headache as he presses his forehead to his desk, and he misses you terribly. 

the bushes outside the palais mermonia have grown ears, one would think. they’ve become the commonplace meeting spot for the melusines, the small creatures clustered together in shrubbery as they secretly discuss their worry, staring up at the heavy grey clouds, threatening downpour that had been continuous for the past two days.

that brings them to today, gathered once more as they draft a letter to you. 

‘dear partner of father,

we thought it would be fit to let you know that his state is very bleak and desolate, and he is concerningly not leaving his office very often. this is not meant to worry or rush you, but do you think you could return…as soon as possible? do you know how much longer your duties will take to complete?

p.s. we know father would never expect a present from you, but from our side we humbly ask of you to return with a treat, since we know how much he loves gifts from you. 

regards and sincerely,

the fontaine melusines’

you sigh heavily, ghosting your fingertips over the patterned paper, worrying your lip in concern for your boyfriend. 

reading the letter over your shoulder (nosy), al haitham huffs, a rare smile on his face. ‘we’re on the last report, i can finish it on my own,’ he turns to face the files once more, monotone voice taking on a teasing lilt as you narrow your eyes at him. ‘are you sure?’ 

‘go ahead early, so you can get that treat of yours.’ ‘haitham!’

two days later, a knock on the door brings neuvillette’s head up from where it is surrounded by piles of files, articles and reports. ‘come in,’ he calls, weary, expecting another melusine urging him to eat. 

instead of the small, long-eared souls he’d expected to see, the door opens to you. he stands abruptly, the stacks sliding to the floor and scattering loose leafs of paper onto the floorboards. 

‘mon cœur?’ he stares at you, wide-eyed in surprise, the tips of his pointed years carmine. if it were anyone else, you’d think they weren’t happy to see you. but this is your neuvillette, and the immediate stop of rainfall as the clouds give way to clear blue out the window, and the subsequent chirping of the birds on the sills speak volumes. 

he makes haste, meeting you in the middle of his office before hesitating, and you nod gently at him. he gathers you in his arms, soft and warm against the firm planes of his hold. he cups your face in his palms, kissing you deeply, a clear message of i missed you passed into your breath and into your heart. it beats rapidly against your sternum, swelling with promise to take good care and spoil your sweet, tenderhearted boyfriend. he parts from you reluctantly, breathing your scent in and pressing a kiss to the crown of your head. ‘did you have a safe journey?’ 

‘i did, i apologise for taking so long–,’ he shakes his head quickly, and you laugh lightly. ‘and since you liked it so much last time,’ you push up your sleeves, showing him your forearms. he gasps quietly, azure gaze following the tawny trail of lumidouce bells, rainbow roses and romaritime flowers drawn into the skin of your forearms and the back of your hands with artful precision, vines connecting and curling around them beautifully. his heart warms at the thoughtful gift - sumerian culture imbued with his in mind.

a rainbow spreads through the sky outside, the melusines letting out a sigh of relief, patting each other on the back for a job well done. 

kryscent '24 do not repost, translate or crosspost

animated dividers are by @cafekitsune (ilovethem sm omg, its a blessing, tysm for making them)

[johannesviii]

Nearly every time I've rewatched Infinity Train Book 3 since I first saw it in February, I saw more parallels and narrative echos, and infodumping my friends about them isn't enough anymore

I figured I should do a post about this one because I don't think I've seen a post about that specific thing yet, and I love this show's writing, and. idk. I just need to praise it I guess

So, the most obvious part first:

Grace became everything she hated about her parents

When Grace mentions her mother in the Debutante Ball Car, it's made pretty clear she's trying to distance herself from her mother as much as possible, and at this point, we realise retrospectively that Grace's room in the Mall Car in episode one was full of sports clothes - it seems she tries to avoid things reminding her of her life before the train. And of her mother. And yet-

She tries to control everyone and everything around her, and makes people do what she doesn't want to do

And she decides what's cool and what isn't

She makes people kneel in her presence, like her mother towers over her in her mind's eye

Obviously she constantly lies to get what she wants, and her dad does that in her tape

When her younger self looks up, she looks right through adult Grace, and it's actually her parents she's looking at! Her younger self is metaphorically seeing her parents where her adult self is standing!! I still can't get over this shot

Also I feel the need to mention her mother has the same voice actor as her in her tape and even if it might be to cut corners in the budget, that feels significant (and to be fair, sometimes you can cut corners while making meaningful choices at the same time)

Now you might think I'd have nothing to say about Simon on that matter, since we don't see any flashback of his life before the Train, and we know next to nothing about his parents. But I think it's very telling that the only actual backstory we get for him is his backstory with The Cat.

Because-

Simon became everything he hated about The Cat

Ok I never see anyone mentioning this, but hear me out

First, we have no idea if Simon knew The Cat was routinely invading people's privacy through their memory tapes, but he sure has no issue doing the exact same thing

But that doesn't stop there. He also collects things obsessively

And makes kids collect things for him as well, by the way

He thinks he's above others, but he immediately switches to victim mode when it comes back to bite him

HE. ABANDONS. A CHILD. WHO WAS UNDER HIS CARE!!

And. Uh. They both dig their heels instead of trying to change, too

Don't get me wrong, on some level I would have liked to know what Simon's parents were like too. I would have liked that a lot. But there's a good chance it wouldn't change anything, because everything we need to know about his background to understand why he's Like That™ is already in the show

But yeah, Grace and Simon both pretend they found freedom on the Train, and both distance themselves from parental figures who are at the source of their trauma, claiming they're different and better than them - and yet they are both subconsciously repeating patterns that caused at least part of their problems and/or trauma in the first place

And since they decided that making numbers go up was good, as long as they stick to that idea, they are bound to never escape from that self-perpetuating loop of harm and trauma

And I love it

And I hate it

[auclairedetoru]

May I request Levi crushing on a stranger he saw in the coffeeshop? (Idk if you accept nsfw requests but if you do, with wet dream pls)

Hi first nonnie~ thank you so much for sending in a request! I'm not comfortable with writing detailed nsfw, but I'll try my best to deliver your vision 🤍

⭒๋࣭ ⭑. Content warning : mention of wet dreams so MDNI!!

“fuck...” Levi mumbles to himself after he wakes up from another... Strange dream, hands wiping the sweat from his face as he tried to catch his breath.

This is the second time this has happened in a week. He doesn't want to admit it out loud, but he's been having wet dreams and they all include the same person, a person Levi shouldn't be thinking about to begin with for one specific reason,

She's a stranger.

Now, he wasn't a pervert, and anyone who knows him wouldn't describe him as one either. Levi's life behind the bedroom doors has been practically nonexisting lately, too focused on his nine to five so he can provide a comfortable life for himself and that little furry brat he calls his cat. His days of meeting new people and building a relationship are left far behind him in his college years, and he honestly couldn't care less about it all anymore. So why are his dreams showing a completely different story?

The stranger in his dream, he didn't even know her name. He sees her every morning at his neighborhood's coffee shop that she started frequenting around a month ago. He would walk in and find her sitting on the sunny spot facing the window.

The first thing he noticed about her was her choice of beverage, a modest cup of green tea, not his first choice - as he prefers black tea - but a good one nonetheless. She paired it with a millefeuille with strawberries, the marble top of it being white and pink. She always has her off white cross body bag on the table, a keychain of a pink pig with bunny ears (he thinks it's a weird combination of animals, but he admits that it's cute) hanging from it. He remembers exactly what he felt when he saw her face for the first time. She had a soft smile as she read something in her magazine, her cheeks covered in a blush that he believes is makeup, the shade suiting her tone perfectly, her nose scrunched as she took a bite off of her millefeuille, a hand delicately cupped under her chin to catch the crumbs. Levi felt his heart fluttering at the simple sight of her, which he tried his best to control but it ignored his deep breaths and continued its dance.

Why was she in his dreams? And that specific type of dreams as well? He never had them in his life, let alone with a total stranger! Levi was confused, drenched in sweat, and in need of a cold shower.

As he got ready for the day, his thoughts couldn't stop drifting towards the coffee shop stranger, so he let himself indulge in them for once. He thinks she's very pretty, gorgeous even. He thinks her voice might be as sweet as her smile, and he thinks her favourite colour would be pink, given that it's what she wore most. He wonders what her music taste would be, she gives off the vibes of someone who listens to Laufey, and he likes that thought, he hopes he's right about that because he enjoys Laufey too.

Is this what having a crush feels like? Based on the books he read, movies he watched and people's experiences he's been told about, everything adds up. The nerves at the thought of talking to her, his fluttering heart, the dream... It all made sense.

Levi has a crush on a stranger.

He wants to be wrong, he wants his heart and mind to be confused and got things mixed up. He could ask his therapist about it, but he knew himself well, he just didn't want to admit it. Still, he mastered the courage on his way to the coffee shop, hoping he wasn't too early and she'd already be there like always.

Levi decides he's going to approach her today, ask if he can take the seat across from her and start a conversation with her. He has always been told he's very well spoken and that conversations with him flow easily, he hopes he'd be able to do that when talking to her without his voice shaking.

Luck must be on his side, because when he opens the door and his eyes land on her usual spot, she is there, reading a magazine like always. He takes a deep breath and walks up to the barista telling him his usual order, but to not put it in a to-go cup. After the barista smiles at him and tells him his order would be ready shortly, he turns towards the fascinating stranger, and without allowing another thought to cross his mind, he walks towards her.

“is this seat taken ?”

Levi gives himself a mental pat on the back, he didn't stutter like he was afraid he'd do.

“not at all, you can have it.”

Shit, her voice isn't like he was expecting it to be, it's way better. It sounded smooth like butter gliding on fresh croissant, silky like the bed sheets his mother gave him as a house warming gift, soft like the way his cat's fur feels after a bath. His heart is about to beat out his chest and his hands are starting to get clammy with nerves but he's still playing it cool with his posture and his nonchalant way of speaking.

His lips are about to part and speak to her, but she beat him to it.

“I noticed you come here every day at the same time, and you always order the same thing.”

She noticed him!? And knew his order!? This is the last thing he expected to hear from her, in fact, he didn't expect her to talk to him at all, he thought he'd have to start the conversation!

“yeah, I used to make my own tea before I discovered this place, couldn't find the blend they use anywhere, apparently the owner makes it from scratch with his own leaves.”

She raises an eyebrow at that, clearly intrigued.

“I enjoy their green tea, certainly better than the ones at the grocery store. I wonder if their chamomile tea is just as good.”

Now it's Levi's turn to raise his eyebrow.

“Don't tell me you buy all your tea from the grocery store.”

“only chamomile! I drink my tea here now,” she defends herself, her pretty smile still on her face, “I don't know where else to buy it from, I'm new to town.”

“Perfect.” Levi thinks to himself. This can't get any better for him.

He casually grabs the cup of tea the barista placed in front of him a moment ago. His eyes still locked with hers despite feeling like he's about to pass out from nerves and excitement.

“how about you meet me here tomorrow? We can have our breakfast and I'll take you to my tea dealer, everything I can't get here I get from her, she's the best.”

The sweet angel in front of him giggles and he nearly melts in his seat. If only he can take that heavenly sound with him so he'd listen to it every chance he gets. It's better than any song he ever heard.

“how would I know this isn't your plan for killing me? You're a stranger after all.”

He places his cup back down after taking a sip.

“my name is Levi, Levi Ackerman. You are?”

“y/n y/l/n. It's nice to finally meet you, Levi.”

He feels like he's about to explode. He knows her name now, and it matches her so incredibly well. And the way she said his name? He never thought it would sound so beautiful until now.

“if you agree to come with me tomorrow, I'll let you search me before we go and I'll have my location turned on the whole time. Promise I won't try anything to hurt you.”

She looks down bashfully before nodding, agreeing to go with him wherever he is planning on taking her.

Levi discreetly sighs in relief seeing her agree. God, he couldn't even imagine hurting her, she's too delicate, too precious, he only wants to hold her close and hear her sweet giggles. To protect her from anything that could hurt her, whether it's big or small.

“now tell me, does Laufey happen to be your favourite artist?”

“how did you know!?”

A hint of a smile pulls at Levi's lips. He'll do anything to make her a part of his life and to keep her there forever.

[weebsinstash]

Ok but yandere miguel falling for a darling who doesn't want kids definitely has the "I can fix her" mentality. Especially even if you express no interest in kids or taking care of them, you do so with plants or animals.

Like what do you mean you dont want kids? The last like 4 weeks basically every hour you wake up to bottle feed a litter kittens. Clearly you're just coping from not having one already. It's ok, he's happy to help you make one.

Ok but like for real in the actual movie when Miguel is explaining the Arachnoid Poly Multiverse to Miles, one of the canon events you can see is getting married, so, a significant relationship, romantic, platonic, or otherwise is a canon event for every Spider. I've thought of "youre off in your own dimension being single when Miguel MAKES you have a relationship and eventually decides it has to be him bc you HAVE to get married or have babies WITH SOMEONE" to "this is a Reader who lost their home universe and you live in Nueva York now and it's unclear if you're supposed to even be following canon anymore or if you're an anomaly but one day Lyla tells him the model says he COULD be your husband maybe idk "

Miguel, totally not having unspoken intentions and definitely not having baby fever: so... do you ever think about... finding a husband and getting more serious? Maybe having a few kids?

Reader: I don't really see anyone loving me like that and even if someone somehow did i don't think I'm really a good motherly type

Also Reader: *once heard Miguel's stomach growl and brought him some food, asks him how he's doing and if he's gotten enough sleep, constantly holds Spider Cat cradled like a little baby and literally calling it and Meows Morales your babies, Miles sneezed once and you got him a tissue and asked him if he's drinking enough water, you like informing and teaching other people about your interests and gets really excited when you teach someone something they don't know, you like watching your plants grow and get taller and bloom under your care*

Miguel: *looks into the camera like he's on The Office*

[sockatoothewafflebird]

after seeing a bunch of stuff in the fandom related to how touch-starved ragatha really is, i just had to go back and count every time she touches herself or looks like she wants to touch someone else in episode two. and guess. just guess.

i counted eleven different times on-screen that she's rubbing her own arm, fiddling with/ holding her own hands, hugging herself, etc. eleven times is way more than i was expecting (i was thinking five at first) but it's literally almost every time she's on screen. and i didn't count how eager she was to take princess loolilalu's hands in her own.

and i also felt obligated to overanalyze the way pomni acts, especially around gummigoo... this is more about ragatha though i think? idk either way this will be long so buckle up and grab some popcorn

ragatha is the kind of woman to need to be touched, with every fiber of her being, but never ask for it, because she doesn't want to bother anyone. she needs physical affection, and she would accept it from literally anyone, but she also needs people to like her. she needs people to rely on her. ragatha stays optimistic to a scarily unhealthy degree jist to make sure no one hates her. and somehow it works.

she doesn't ever cross anyone's boundaries, she doesn't dare even imply that she wants to, even though she needs it more than anything. she just projects her insecurity and self-loathing in the form of "cupcakes and sprinkles and petting kitty-cats" and "if you're feeling sad just do a little dance!!" like girl is suppressing so much... the mass of all her suppressed emotions has ti have become a singularity by now.

anyway, with pomni canonically just disliking being touched, ragatha only suffers more. she seems like she's attached herself to pomni, in a sense? she's desperate to try and make pomni feel extra comfortable, for some reason. and i think i know why.

all the other members of the circus already know her. she already knows what they think of her to an extent, and she already knows how much or little her happy-go-lucky demeanor does for them all. and no one there seems to really be a genuine friend to her other than kinger. and, y'know, he's... kinger.

so ragatha has no one to really confide in, and i assume no one else confides in her other than the occasional need for encouragement or reassurance. and as previously stated, she needs people to lean on her.

then pomni shows up! and she seems like a somewhat nice person. so ragatha tries her absolute hardest to get pomni to like her. because no one else in the circus seems to care.

this dynamic seems like such a good opportunity for gut-wrenching angst and tension. maybe even a horrible scene in which ragatha tries to make pomni feel better with her debilitatingly unhealthy and unrealistic optimism im a situation that absolutely does mot call for it-- and pomni just can't deal with it anymore. because she's smart enough to know that ragatha is only using it as a decoy and a tool to hide something deep, dark, terrible, within her... and snaps at her.

full-on yelling, pointing, walking towards her all in a blind, devastating rage, because pomni is smart enough to see that it's just a way to get her self-worth from somewhere other than herself, and that it's all a facade, and she hates that ragatha thinks that's the only reason people care about her... and ragatha is dumbfounded, because in her entire life, in and out of the circus, no one has ever been able to see through it. not a single soul.

this eventually leads to a heart-to-heart, and apologies, truths, lies, and everything in-between fall out of their mouths like waterfalls. and it all leads to the best friendship either of them have ever had.

pomni is no therapist, no professional. but she's been through some bad places before, as seen in ep 2 with her conversation with gummigoo. sometimes we just need to be realistic about things, and acknowledge that things aren't okay. and pomni seems like she can keep things real. which is something ragatha desperately needs.

and when pomni is about to explode from the insanity of the world, ragatha can be there as comfort and reassurance, because pomni's always drowning in the bad possibilities so much and being so skeptical of everything that it's debilitating. ragatha can see the bright side of things no matter what (even if it's unhealthy most times), and with pomni seeming like an overall more down-to-earth person, they can balance things out really well. ragatha's got the heart to keep everyone's spirits high, and pomni can stay real with everyone to make sure they're prepared for whatever might come barreling towards them. i think this is what makes them so perfect for each other.

and the connection, the deep emotional understanding of each other leads to something... more.... homosexual. yeah i'm a chronic jesterdoll shipper of course it would lead to this

---

all the funny ha-ha aside, this dynamic is so fun to brainstorm about. i'm in love with how deep this could get. some of this might be pretty far from cannon, as only episode two is out when i write this, but i'm trying to interpret their characters as accurately as possible from what little we have so far. i think i did pretty well for a random gay bird with internet access

i'm half-tempted to incorporate a scene like this into my au. like it's soooo juicy i love it i want to write it i need to see it realized

[httpskuzuu]

if your not busy then can you make more yandere chuuya l'm down bad for him lol!😭

The best gift

can we give reader a therapy session? thanks

Yandere!Chuuya x Reader

English is not my mother tongue, sorry for the mistakes

summary: Chuuya just wants to make you happy (I love that man)

tw: failed escape attempt, mention of punishment, broken leg, feelings of abandonment? idk

He couldn't be more fed up with you.

I mean, he loves you, but the fact that you are always unwilling to correspond to him is something that really hurts him deeply.

He even thought of locking you up in complete darkness, no light, no food. He wanted you to crawl to him afterward and ask him to get you out. He wanted to make you say you loved him.

He never got around to putting that plan into action, obviously. He's not that horrible! He's not a monster. He really loves you.

Sure anyone would put you through the most grotesque tortures to make you submissive. But he was different, you should appreciate him more.

As much as he knows you have reasons, he still finds it completely overkill because, come on, you have everything you want just by asking nicely! Everything but freedom, of course.

You want expensive clothes? Okay. You want diamond jewelry? In less than five seconds, you'll have them in your hands. Want to travel to exotic destinations? He's taking you, just don't leave his side.

All he asks is a little obedience from you, it's not that hard, is it? He's looking out for your happiness too, the more submission from you, the better quality of life. It's a win-win.

But you didn't seem to understand that.

You were in bed, lying there, not wanting to move an inch of your body. Chuuya broke your leg just two days ago. The pain was unbearable.

You didn't talk to him since that, well, except for the moment he broke it. You cried to him and begged him, as silly as it sounds, to make the pain stop.

You wished Chuuya was some mythical God so he could fulfill your earlier request.

The pain didn't make you think well, so you were crying to Chuuya, talking about your cat and how much you missed him. Chuuya was by your side, stroking your hair, listening to you attentively.

You always mentioned your cat, how you wanted him with you now, how much you loved him. In fact, most of the time when an argument happened, it was because you mentioned that you wanted to go home with your cat!

Was an animal really that important to you? Well, if it made you happy, Chuuya would bring it home. Maybe then you'd stop crying randomly throughout the day, or fighting him. Imagining you, a fighter, turning into someone with a more passive behavior just because of a cat, drove him crazy.

Chuuya warned you that he was leaving, but that he would be back quickly, he left you a pain pill along with a glass of water. He hoped you would notice that he was not so cruel, after all, he could have left you lying on the floor, with two broken legs instead of just one, as was his idea at the beginning.

You were left alone in the house. You had never felt more lonely and bad in your life. Your friends, your family, your pet, what will become of them?

You feel miserable, left to your own devices. Why didn't they come for you? Did they care about you in the first place? You were sure there should have been an investigation into your disappearance by now, but what if there wasn't? What if you weren't important enough to them?

Were you that hard to love? But Chuuya loved you, in an obsessive way, but he did. Wouldn't that be the purest kind of love?

You don't know why you keep fighting, but it's something normal in you, like something wrapped in your DNA. You feel attacked, helpless, by something bigger that can't be stopped, so you grit your teeth trying to feel safe. It's not working the same for you anymore.

You didn't try to escape because this life was bad. You tried to escape because you didn't want to be forgotten by others. What kind of life is one in which you are a ghost trapped?

But you are not selfish, you hope they are doing well. You hope they have the happiness you can't seem to achieve.

You cried until you heard the door open. You hadn't noticed that Chuuya had come home.

You looked at him for a few seconds, he had with him a black gift box, tied with a ribbon. You didn't want gifts, you didn't want jewelry that could buy you.

Sure, that was until you heard a meow come out of the box. You stopped crying almost automatically and looked at it in surprise. You could even feel the glint settling in your eyes.

Chuuya pretended not to hear the meowing. "Why didn't you take the pill? You can't complain about the pain and then be stubborn enough not to take it."

"What's in the box?"

"A present for you. I thought it might make you happier." He sat on the edge of the bed, resting the box on his legs. "You know, I don't like to see you cry."

His gloved hand reaches to your cheek and wipes away the tears. There is an impulse in your body to fight, to refuse to be touched, but you stayed still.

Chuuya put the box on the bed next to you. You struggle and manage to sit up in bed, your leg throbbing with pain, but you ignore it. You have more important things to do now.

You don't even look at Chuuya for approval to open the box, you just open it. And there it is, your faithful friend who always stood by your side. Your cat.

You cry again.

Your cat seems happy to see you again, he nuzzles his head against your hand affectionately and meows at you. You take him in your arms and hug him.

"Do you like the present?" Chuuya's voice comes through in the place only ruled by your sobs. Of course you like it, how could you not? You missed this kitten so much, it had been so long since you hadn't seen him.

You nod your head. "Very much, I like it very much. Thank you Chuuya." Your voice shakes from the sobs, but that doesn't matter anymore.

You don't have to keep staying defensive when you have a friend with you.

"I thought maybe your cat could help you to be calmer, to stop fighting."

There was always something hidden. Chuuya wanted to see you happy, of course, but if he could gain some of that happiness from you, he would gladly do so.

You nod again. "Yes, it will help me." You wipe the tears from your cheeks as you smile.

It looks like you're both happy for once.

[lowkeyrobin]

hiii :з can i request domestic hcs with quackity x reader where they just moved in with each other and basically figuring stuff out about living together

idk what domestic means in this context but I don't think I wanna know

QUACKITY ; living together

summary ; you and alex finally moved in with each other and you're figuring out your new way of life

warnings ; language

genre ; fluff

word count ; 687

masterlist

At last, you and Alex were finally living under the same roof in Los Angeles. You were living in a studio apartment for a while, but finally upgraded to a two story house just outside the main city with your boyfriend.

Money was the first problem that you tackled beforehand, which you got sorted nice and easily. The next was unpacking and buying new furniture.

You'd already took out some loans for new furniture since both of you either didn't have some furniture, or needed to scrap the old stuff you found off eBay for a scarily low price. The trip to the closest furniture store, about three miles away, was horrifying.

You'd never been a stickler with money, but coming up not having much of it sometimes taught you a great amount about fair pricing. However, when you saw a large number, you stood there awkwardly, wondering if you could afford it or if it was even worth it. Alex was the same, but he was more comfortable spending larger amounts of money on bigger things because he understood the expenses a bit better than you did.

All in all, you probably spent about two thousand dollars at that place. You'd ended up finding some good furniture off of eBay that you could go pick up that afternoon, and found a nice and free dresser set out by the road from someone who didn't want it anymore.

The house, now a month later, was finally furnished and you were in charge of decorations while he organized the kitchen and set up the PC's and other electronics. You two hadn't been doing much other than get used to sharing a room and a bed 24/7. You ended up deciding it'd be better to save that room for something else and have your bedrooms and office combined into one. If anyone wanted to snuggle in the night, they'd go to the other person's room.

It was mostly for privacy, and so you wouldn't end up fighting or beating the shit out of each other. You both needed downtime away from each other, a perfectly normal and healthy aspect of a relationship.

The next part, after setting your desktops up and decorating your rooms and whatnot, was getting into the routine of living together and not doing everything independently. Both of you were independent and didn't need to rely on each other, a good thing, but when it came to getting groceries or going out or streaming, talking about it and making decisions together would be the next step in moving forward.

Tiger was a whole conversation in herself. Alex decided he'd take care of her litter box and you decided you'd take care of her food and water. He felt bad making you take care of his cat, but you found no problem with it considering Tiger was like your child already.

The final steps were just getting used to living with each other and boundaries that came with it.

But, over time, everything would go great.

༘⋆₊ ⊹★🔭๋࣭ ⭑⋆｡˚༘⋆₊ ⊹★🔭๋࣭ ⭑⋆｡˚༘⋆₊ ⊹★🔭๋࣭ ⭑⋆｡˚

Quackity appreciated you bringing him food, water, or a hoodie on stream, and you did as well

Tiger walking into your streams >>>

even streaming side by side was a reoccurring thing

often times you'd play uno and have the handcam on in the corner

you'd give each other advice when editing videos and writing scripts

making dinner together with music in the background >>>

especially when he sings along/to you, good lord

you can't go a single day without cackling at each other

fighting and arguments are healthy for a relationship, but with you guys it's never serious, it's either over dumb shit you couldn't care about or you play fight with each other for laughs

sometimes he'll shout at you in Spanish to mess around and you'll stare at him like "tf are you saying"

if you do understand Spanish though, it's war

arts and crafts together go crazy

you start a little vlog channel together as well

it's run by you and he's only there sometimes but still

insta pictures of you two doing dumb shit 24/7

[birdies-aus]

Okie dokie sending it here because idk why I'm nervous I just is lol but okay okay

Hot nights and Wally a walking furnace and Kori and alien I headcanon also overheats hence her outfits showing a bit more skin, and in the middle poor Dick is suffering but will not leave Bec he literally can't Wally is a octopus of a cuddler in his sleep he's trapped lol

Catboy Dickie Bec like, it so cute and Kori being a cat girl both just ugh!! So the braiding each other hair and adding bells and bows and Wally feeling left out being so sad so they do it to him.

Yuri times, cute little picnic dates??? In cute dresses??? And they're having fun??? Pog

Butch Kori and femme fem Dick, idk what to do more than I like it, and vise versa too if you enjoy differents

Only au of mine I'll add is Mei Dick and Kori are besties in it and still talk after Dick sold his soul to Lucifer, they still have frequent hangouts in a field of flowers even tho it doesn't exist anymore on earth, that's not a prompt tho just thought I tell ya because I'm rambling ahhhhhh

Protect the bird ^

And one angst prompt that been a fic in the making,,, Wally coming back from the mind trip of the speed force having to tell himself he's still here, and when the panic attack is coming on he called Dick to talk but.... He's off planet and he's about to lose it needing to talk to someone to tell him he's not on the speed force this ain't a trick.

And last idea, this is an au of mine but works with vampire king or reg vampire, Dick refusing to drink blood because he doesn't want to hurt his love ones but his two favorite gingers are trying to make him drink something because he needs to feed!!!

Okie dokie I go idk why I was nervous idk brain is being weird but uh yeah

Have a cookie 🍪 for putting up with this lol

out of all of these ideas my hands have given u butch4femme yuri dickkori doodle sluggy.. i used my friends ipad 4 this and on a sidenote i rlly hate using procreate lol

ANYWYAS ON TO THE ITHER THINGS YOUVE DROPPED FOR ME (i might doodle things 4 u more later just god my hands have not been working recently lol)

ill do a read more so i dont annoy anyone with long posts

i lobe the idea of both wally and kori running warm which is really nice for dick who gets cold easily- unless its in the summer somewhere where it gets like 100° but he still would never give up being able to cuddle his favorite people no matter how warm it gets trust trust meeee

Wally just pouts at catboy n catgirl dick n kori n then hes pulled into thwir little self care pile and he gets a little make over two- WHICH THE AFTER MATH WILL DEFINITELY BE SOMETHING I DRAW ACTUALLYYYYTT that sounds so cuute itll be its own post ill tag u in tho

okok but like my yuri cowgirl au but kori kidnaps her girls sometimes to take them out on a picnic date outside of town n sometimes it turns into a little-

williows never to be trusted with horse riding/steering bc she trues to go as fast as possible (without hurtting or straining the horse ofc) btw

Its a very common sight to see kori or willow dragging robin somewhere after catching her in rope btw its do silly in my head- its how they make sure shes taking care of herself and not getting caught up in mystery shenanigans

Aahhh kori n dick in ur mei au making flowercrowns togetherr hehe

kori n wally being over protective over their favorite birdd ♡♡♡♡

CRYINNGGF AT U FOR THE ANGST yk dick would panic when he gets home and hears a worrying voicemail from wallyyyyy sluggy pleaseee

ALSOOOO thats my favorite trooe in vampires but BUT ALAOSOOOO if wallys still a speedster hes like the best canidate for dick to drink blood from bc the guy would be able to replenish his blood quicker than a normal human meaning dick would be ablw to actually be full sometimes which would be very niceeeee-

[dexterkronos]

Slime Rancher x TMA?

Okay but seriously, imagine if Jon and Martin commit MAG 200 and just end up on Slime Rancher's Far Far Range. What then?

(Welcome to your lecture on why my abilities to cook have been restrained by divine ordainment [irl responsibilities])

How It Would Work

Mistaken Identity as their alt selves or assuming the lives of their alt selves as they have completely replaced them

They both have separate farms on the Far, Far Range on opposite ends, and don't know where the other exactly is (they both think they're on distant islands to each other lol).

Martin becomes very adept with Slime wrangling in particular, but still remains an effective slime rancher in the ways of taking care of them. He adopts a particular Tabby (unbeknownst to him an escapee from Jon's ranch) and calls it 'Merry', and Merry stays by his side at all times.

Jon is very particular about only owning docile slimes like Pinks, Tabbies and Puddles, with a lot of his slimes being mixes with Tabbies because cats. He makes a sole exception for ONE Crystal-Tabby that he calls 'Calcite', who becomes a bit of a ranch defender Largo. It is so picky about what it eats or absorbs that there is zero risk for him to become a Tarr.

Jmart end up finding each other when Jon goes chasing after a Tabby-Phosphor with Calcite in an attempt to get it somewhere dark before daylight. Both are overjoyed to see each other obviously and immediately work together.

They have a teleporter between their ranches and help each other out with random tasks. They obvs can't combine ranches now, but they do lots of sleepovers at each other's ranches lmao,

Jon ends up going into Slime Sciences because duh of course he would lmao. He's the reason both farms have cannons to repel Tarr slimes.

They get therapy before even so much as thinking about advancing their relationship further because holy hell these dudes need it. (Therapy is already in swing at the start btw, I'm not delaying their roads to mental stability)

Other Info below the keep reading tag so we don't flood your feed lolol.

Relationships with Canon Slime Rancher Characters

Martin is the one who usually deals with Slime Market stuff because people like BOb exist.

Martin befriends Thora easier than anyone else due to her kindly nature. Let's give the man a nice older lady figure in his life to be a mentor.

Jon become notably friendly with Viktor Humphries, and they collaborate often since Jon has Martin and his own interest in slime collection to help him.

Both find Mochi a bit like Melanie at first, but warm up to her when they start to learn more about her (both can relate to strained relationships w/parental figures, especially Martin).

Both find BOb complexing and typically try to keep conversations curt lol.

Obvs because I'm not replacing Beatrix, they do meet her and are pretty neutral to her. Nothing extraordinary and nothing unextraordinary since Beatrix is more a proxy for the player so I can't gauge much on how she'd be without our interference.

Ogden & Hobson are also a neutral relationship but that's just because I can't think on how either of them and Jmart would work lol.

Likely Queries

Fears When?: No Fears in the Slime Rancher universe because I say so. The Fears just don't have influence here anymore haha. That means Jonah Magnus stays deceased.

How is Jon not like, barely sane or whatever (referencing the 'how much of me is the Eye stuff')?: Well, they did merge/overwrite their Slime universe counterpart so like... e.

Does Jmart retain Fear powers?: No. Maybe. I'm not sure tbh I think if anything it'd be subtle things. EG: Jon being able to identify certain things changed in an area or have a better grip on understanding body language. EG2: Martin being less noticeable when he wants to be or just having a bit of cold resistance.

Why can't they move in together?: Because I doubt the 7Zee Corp would be able to find a buyer for either ranch too quickly, but I could be wrong. Idk I like the idea of them having space of their own separate from the other since those dudes need therapy and time to work on themselves.

Do they look like themselves or their alternates?: Alts with the exception of MAG 200 injuries. The Alts just look like their S1 selves lmao.

SlimeRancher!Sasha, SlimeRancher!Georgie & SlimeRancher!Tim? Yes. None would properly notice a difference in Jon because he's more just their Jon with some weird ass baggage attached. Martin would DEFINITELY be something they'd note as 'unusual' but ultimately set it down to 'omg he's matured so fast having to deal with Jon lolol'. Sasha and Tim would be fellow Ranchers on another area nearby and Georgie either stayed on Earth or is a Tarr Wrangler with SlRa!Melanie.

What about the other Magnus people? Not sure, defs think SlRa!Melanie would exist as a Tarr Wrangler w/Georgie. SlRa!Elias would likely be on Earth still and just living his Pre-Eye life lolol. Sl!Ra Gertrude should be a rancher elsewhere that's just died but other than that idk.

Do any other Slime Rancher alts get their other worlds memories? Maybe Georgie and Melanie but only via 'oh wow that was a funky dream haha' since they were in the Panopticon. Elias doesn't count towards this since there was no more Elias by the time of the series' beginning (source: MAG 193).

[splanana-bitz]

Apologies to my mutuals (or anyone else that cares) but I really need to disappear from the internet for a little bit, at least until post-election panic somewhat calms down.

I stressed myself out way too bad this past week or so, thanks to doom-scrolling, and will only worsen it if I stay online right now. But a few words of advice for my friends, mutuals, or anyone who needs to hear this (even if it's already been said):

We don't know for sure what will happen. Yes, I know it's scary to think about the possibility of Project 2025, but as far as I know, it feels, at the very least, mildly unrealistic, and I doubt that congress, senate, etc. would let half the shit on this project slide. We have ammendments and documents for a reason (to help prevent total control). We just have to trust that these people have half a brain to realize how unconstitutional Project 2025 is. Yet, am I fully certain it won't happen? No. If anything, there is still a likely chance it will. But all you can do is just hope and do NOT dig yourself into a hole of "what ifs" and doom scenarios. Be prepared and keep tabs, but please do NOT make your sadness and stress worse.

In the potential event that it does get implemented and push comes to shove; Retaliate. Fight back. Protest. Do whatever you can do to push back against it. Idk how effective this method is going to be this time around, but in the end, doing something is better than nothing. People before us had to do it, and we shouldn't be the generation that just gives up and lets it happen. You're allowed to be angry and sad, but please don't let it render you incapable. Be sad and angry WHILE fighting back. Don't ever, EVER give up.

Quit doom-scrolling. It's been said before, but if you are beyond belief stressed, please- Get off social media for a while. Take a walk. Pet your dog, cat, bird, etc., eat your comfort foods, watch your favorite media, indulge in your productive hobbies or other fixations that bring you joy.

Please don't let defeatism win. And I know it's hard right now, but please do NOT. GIVE. UP. There is still hope and if not for yourself, at least keep going for others and to see the end of whatever this presidency will bring (cos again, nothing for certain has been decided yet). Outlive whatever enemy it is we may deal within these next 4 years.

Trump cannot and should not be able to run again after his presidency is over in 2028, due to the 22nd ammendment. I know that feels like an incredibly long time away, but once these next 4 years are over, Trump shouldn't and can't have that power anymore. It is horrifying to think of what may come, but the hope is perhaps we can do damage control once he's out of office if he ends up fucking things up to that bad of a degree.

Idk...maybe this isn't helpful- Maybe Idk what I'm talking about, but I'd rather leave some of you with this than leave in a panic.

I wish everyone a good day/night - Take care of yourself - Don't give up and don't stress yourself out - Let's just hope for the best, do what we can, live for today, and 'fuck it, we ball.'

[enden-k]

i wanted you to know, chinese fandom of genshin headcannons alhaitham as being a very clingy boyfriend. How do you feel about that headcanon? (just like does it fit your own headcanon for him or not?

)

guess depending on what type of clingy were talking here. is it physical? bc then YES

i love to hc haitham as touchstarved and enjoying/seeking physical touch a LOT but only from kaveh (or his love interest) - outside of that, he doesnt like to be touched by strangers etc and with his attitude its not smth that happens anw

at first he doesnt know how to communicate it well enough (bc he doesnt realize right away that he wants to, sometimes its difficult to identify/recognize a feeling or urge you never experienced much before) so sometimes hes jsut looming around kaveh for a few moments before he just blurts it out directly or simply wraps his arms around his waist to pull him into him (wonderfully catching the architect off guard and getting him all blushing and complaining) - def like a cat approaching you for pets and attention no matter if youre busy and then leaving freely when he got his fill. he wouldnt be too overbearing or too much in general though and once he learned more of his new needs and urges hes def bolder (but still so unbelievably cute) with his actions and doesnt care where they are (he would def swoop in for a kiss or two when he has the strong urge to do so and then get scolded for pda)

i just rlly love to think of aloof, coolish haitham having such soft sweet needs. give this man his night cuddles, he loves spooning as much as messing w kaveh

if its clingy outside of physical, i think haitham is someone who values personal freedom and wouldnt cling badly, rather giving kaveh (or anyone else) the space and freedom he himself also enjoys and wants bc he is someone who likes his alone time very much and needs it, after all. and when he needs it he will take it and you wont find him if he doesnt want to be found. hes def not needy (sometimes he is, like when kaveh is busy w a project and haitham craves touches and presence) or demanding of attention or constantly clinging to kaveh. he does enjoy being around him and often seeks him out to rile him up and mess a little with him perhaps (he just loves it)

i feel like "clingy" behavior is more fitting to kaveh if you wanna call it that (it sounds so negative jkbjkb but in this context i dont mean it negative) simply bc hes got more insecurities etc

he fears hes "not good enough" for haitham, thinking of himself too much of a mess that sometimes he has doubts/anxieties/insecurities and finds it hard to believe that knowing all of him and his faults and issues, haitham still loves him. needing reassurance when it gets bad. its not like he doesnt trust haitham or thinks he would cheat on him or whatever, its just that on some days its hard for him to believe hes worthy to be loved, clinging onto him then so not to spiral down

outside of that, kaveh is someone who pulls a lot of attention to him be it on purpose or not but the one persons attention he loves and enjoys the most is haithams (though he wouldnt admit it out loud)

when it comes to clingy in connection with jealousy, i like to think theyre both jealous ppl (not in a bad, toxic, damaging way ofc) - if not, haitham even a bit more. throw in some slight possessiveness for him too idk i just love that sm

anw idk if i interpreted the word "clingy" right, its rlly late and i just had too many thoughts pouring out the more i wrote that idk anymore if its related to the topic so im sry if its completely off to what u asked akjbsckj

[bestiadentro]

//

A lot of my slowness has to do with dealing with a lot of grief and guilt on top of that grief. Yes, I've been sick, but I've also been extremely depressed since my mom passed earlier this year and even beforehand because a lot of people I idolized and looked up to died too. Then my cat passed. Then the man I looked up to most in the whole world died. On top of always struggling for food and other things I'm just..

I'm tired. And I feel like I'll never be able to let this guilt surrounding my mom's passing go. I always feel like I ruined her life and that she would have been happier not having me. That and like.. I have no family anymore because my siblings are being assholes.. as always(I'll never be talking to my sister because I cannot forgive her for things she did while my mom was dying). Then I never even got any of my mom's ashes because of her ex boss/ex partner and abuser holding them hostage.

On top of it all I've just been so incredibly lonely IRL and online. I often feel like no one really wants to know me cause no one really talks to me. I've started feeling like I'll never been good enough to have super close friendships again. I haven't felt close to anyone besides my bf in so long. I care about my online friends but idk I always feel like people tolerate me. No one really talks. No one really tries to get to know me outside of my health issues either. No matter how much I'd like to avoid talking about how I am, to be honest. Like no one asks about my likes, my dislikes, shares theirs with me; I feel like no one has been excited to contact me about anything. And I'll be excited to tell other people things but then I decide not to because idk it feels like no one wants to hear me all the time. Like I always feel that way. That no one wants to hear me.

Everything is why I haven't been talking to people much. I always feel like such an eyesore and like no one could ever want me in any way(platonically). So I just end up shutting up. And God, I always feel so lonely to the point it's actually physically painful. I have no family to go to because they don't want me(and are scapegoating me/blaming me for my mom's death), I don't feel like I have any close friends and I feel like people just tolerate me until they find something better, and I'm so isolated and have been for years to the point literally nothing I used to love is enjoyable anymore. I feel like I'm losing my mind always being stuck living life this. Everything feels so empty and not enjoyable at all because all I have to do is the same exact things over and over and over every single day and the only people I have to talk to IRL are my abusive partners.

It's so hard to want to go on anymore. I spent so much time in bed now because everything feels so heavy on me I just can't bring myself to get out of bed most of the time. I often feel like there's no point in me waking up anymore. I feel like no one would even notice or miss me if I faded into nothing, but part of me also feels like that's better cause I don't want to bother anyone. Cause that's all I feel like I do.

I'll prob end up deleting this tbh cause I can't even talk about how I feel without feeling awful and guilty anymore. Like I feel like I don't have the right to complain. Because it's so hard not to believe I deserve all these things somehow.

[rebuke-me]

Deere for the ask game?

when I started shipping it if I did:

okay i don't remember why i started shipping them. bc it was in the years where my memories are a void. but i think it started as me being like haha wouldn't it be funny if they kissed and then it just kept happening. and here we are.

my thoughts:

[ LOUD BARKING NOISES TEARING UP CARDBOARD BREAKING GLASS ETC ] idk i think im pretty normal about them

What makes me happy about them:

they are. really good parallels. they have enough in common in their base personalities (care about others, passionate about interests, similar parental issues) but enough thats different that makes them compelling. also. i am a slut for a height difference ship. and apparently fire/ice coded ships? idk

What makes me sad about them:

the fact that no one else ships them /j. kidding. uh. god a lot actually. they have such potential to be messy (jake's indecisive nature vs jeremys need to be wanted clash SO messy sometimes) and bad for each other but they also have such a potential to build each other up and counteract their bad traits. like. god. they make me need to lay down on the floor for a while

things done in fanfic that annoys me:

the fact that there's just me /hj. actually no that ones serious. i havent read enough deere fic from not me to be annoyed by it.

things I look for in fanfic:

it to exist

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: 

i really think that they r both cute with christine. and i don't. really like them for anyone else anymore? i used to be like oh yeah im a multishipper but at this point i'm kind of not. i like deere and then sometimes christine as the third leg of their throuple.

My happily ever after for them:

living together in a house/apartment with a dog and two cats. they don't get married bc they probably both don't like the idea of it (parent issues) but they're longterm partners. i also like both of them ending up as high school teachers (gym and english, respectively) and none of their students rlly knowing that they're a couple but everyone suspecting.

who is the big spoon/little spoon:

do you even have to ask. (jake is the big spoon jeremy is the little spoon, they tried the other way around once and jeremy joked about being like a backpack and now every time they do it that way, jake bursts out laughing and they cannot do it)

what is their favorite non-sexual activity:

i firmly believe that they watch garbage sci-fi movies and jake critiques every single scientific inaccuracy and jeremy shushes him about it being metaphor or suspension of disbelief.

[krmzyn]

── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ──

~ Hii!! Welcome to my blog <3

── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ──

I’m Salem, but feel free to call me any of my DRselves names!

This blog is mostly for me to focus on shifting, though LOA/manifesting and lucid dreaming have also been pretty high up there for me atm!

I’m completely fine with any questions from anyone (shifters, non-shifters, even antis), just please be respectful. This inculudes questions about my first shift, but I prefer not to talk about it, but I might answer some 💟 (please send asks i love answering questions /lh)

Note: I’m formatting this on mobile and am pretty new to tumblr so. i literally have no clue what im doing 😇

Double note: This is gonna be like. the only formatted post on my page. I absolutely cba and most of my posts r probably just gonna be like. shitposting 😚

── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ──

About me!

Again, hi, I’m Salem, but you lot can call me any of my DR names <3

My pinterest is cvbereal!!

They/Them pronouns, I don’t care too much about them though

I’m chronically British 🧍‍♂️ Also genetically a little Irish 😇 (also bst/gmt timezone 😚)

I crawled here from Tiktok. I use wayyy too much tiktok slang 😚 I also rlly appreciate tone tags being used!

15, Scorpio & audhd!

Genuinely a little stupid. Just a lil bit.

I also do art!! Idk if I’ll really post it here but. yah 💟

I have pretty bad social anxiety and general anxiety issues, so I don’t really socialise online that much <3

Likes & Dislikes!

I LOVE cats with my entire soul <33 Also honestly animals in general.

I hate mint. Its just sososoo eww 😇

I like the sciences 😚 (biology >>> chemistry > physics. fight me /j)

I really don’t like step ladders 😭 I’m stood there wobbling like a dog on a cat tower I just can’t with them

I love candles n incense a lot!! I have this adorable little tea light holder that’s like a little tree with birds and these little cages for the tea lights and I just ADORE it smsmsmm <3

I hate walking around barefoot 😭 Like idm the idea of it but its just like. u never know whats been on those floors >:( Also carpets feel ew

I like rambling about my drs and random stuffs I like 😇

I don’t like bacon. The little fat bits are all stringy and its just sososo bleh

I love a bunch of the ‘cringe’ kid roblox games. Like adopt me (bc collecting just makes me feel mwah) and royale high (mostly for christmas atp bc. I have feelings abt it 😇) and pet sim, also others. I shiny hunt on pokemon ultra moon as well! (I have a grudge against shiny lugia but i love it /lh)

(I was trying to do a like-dislike kinda pattern but iii cant think of anymore dislikes shshh) I like doing legos and oragami occasionally! I just enjoy being able to do stuff with my hands 😚

── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ──

My DRs (in order. maybe.)

Note: NONE of my DRs have traumatic or violent events. Any with that stuff as main plot points has either been altered or is some kind of AU. Made that mistake once, not making it again <3

- CoD (COD SHIFTERS PLEASE R U GUYS THERE?? 😭)

- Altered OR

- ATSV

- FNAF

- Demon Slayer / KNY

- Pokémon

- Rick & Morty

- SCP

- Backrooms

- MHA (mixed on it atm)

- Supernatural (considering & trynna figure out some kinda au 🧍‍♂️)

── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ──

My current manifestations!

My shifting journal!!

── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ──

That’s about it!! Ty for reading and I hope you guys enjoy my posts 😚

-Love, Sal <3

── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ──

Last shift: ~2021 Shifted 1x

Last ‘minishift’: ? Minishifted ~3x

Last lucid dream: ? Lucid dreamed 1x

[yowyowyaoi]

Konan’s Daily Texts from the Akatsuki

From Zetsu

If I keep the bodies OUTSIDE is it a problem then??

Rather angelic-looking with the paper wings.

A 72-hour gengetsu just because he thought I was going to eat it?! Cat isn’t even my favorite meat!

Ah but you’re much more diplomatic in handling their complaints.

I’ve tried but you absolutely cannot reason with him when it comes to money.

It may be time to change hideouts soon, the two young ones have attracted too much negative attention here.

From Itachi

It was so good, thank you!

I appreciate the touch of color.

Kisame’s not here Kakuzu said he’d charge me and Deidara laughed. You are my last hope. PLEASE come and KILL THIS SPIDER 😓

Please come with I know you’d enjoy yourself.

The last time I rode on one he made it do a flip mid-air and I almost fell into the ocean. And he laughed so hard he threw up 😒

Define “too much” cake 🤔

He helped suppress the coughing but fever’s still pretty high.

I can take them in small doses. 

From Sasori

Don’t worry, an issue like that is almost child’s play to correct surgically.

You’re one of the few that I DO trust, my dear.

I’ll give it back when I decide he’s not as annoying anymore.

If I could eat I’m sure that would be delicious.

I love him more than anything but that arrogant brat can never actually KNOW how much I do.

Put a few drops in your tea, you’ll sleep like a baby.

You and Nagato should really raise the standards for whom you decide to recruit into this organization.

Please accompany me; I’m sure you’d love the wildflowers.

You either move his room down the hall or he’s becoming my next puppet.

From Kakuzu

I understand but we can’t afford it at the moment. Those three will just have to bunk together for the time being.

Thank you, my dear.

Harsh BUT it saved us hundreds.

Never anyone who didn’t fully deserve it.

Trust me, in the long run it’s a good investment.

Sasori may be better suited to treat that than myself.

I’ll speak to him about it but it’s like talking to a wall.

Purely an accident. A needed one, but still.

If they do it again I’m decapitating them both.

From Deidara

I mean I never have, but if I did, she couldn’t be anyone but YOU 💛

Omg Omg OMG I HAVE DIRT ON HIDAN YOU NEED TO HEAR!!

We were sword fighting! Shit I didn’t know that was Leader’s cane 😣

We can both make birds. Paper and clay. 

Idk I mean I kinda think that he likes me or something but I’m with Sasori so 🤷🏼‍♂️

My eyes feel fucked. I tried on Uchiha’s glasses, that bastard is BLIND af! I didn’t even think they could make lenses that strong!

Come with us fishing I swear you’ll have fun! I’ll bait your hook so you don’t gotta touch the worms 😁

I’m not sure but I bet a C3 would solve the problem.

He stuffed half a roll of toilet paper in there and flushed. He thought it’d be funny.

From Kisame

There’s no way you’re going alone. I’ll come with you.

My thanks. Samehada appreciates such treats.

Woman or not you’re quite strong aren’t you?

No need to cook mine at all. I prefer raw.

I could teach you if you wish. It’s a good skill to have.

Please join us for tea?

It’s outside your door. Thank you again.

Zetsu got to him first 😤

Itachi isn’t feeling up to it. Would you care to accompany me? The moon makes it very bright.

From Tobi

He bit me first!

Kisame ate them because he said he wanted a snack 😔

He DOES love me he just doesn’t know it yet!

Wanna see the spider I found in the garden?

I borrowed your lotion and i accidentally used it all 😓

Game night game night GAME NIGHT!!!

Blue. Like Senpai’s eyes 😌

Can I lick the spoon when it’s done?

No I saw Kakuzu kill him three days ago 

From Hidan

Yeah but my intentions were good for once!

Pls come show me how to do this I keep burning it 😓

Oh yeah I forgot … haha don’t freak out I’ll replace it 

You wanna come with? I bet you’d be great at it!

Tell him he can suck my dick, I ain’t doing that 🤷‍♂️

We’re gonna loot it, I’ll bring you back something cool!

Ngl you’d look HOT with my scythe 😍

I’ll beat that skinny twink’s ass 😤

Yeah but like he’s skin and bones that’s just kinda creepy 

I guarantee if you just listen to ONE sermon you’ll convert!

From Nagato

The prettiest thing you could ever wear is that gorgeous smile of yours ❤️

Well it’s far too late to replace them so I suppose we just have to deal.

Are you joking? Yahiko would have killed me!

Should have been a dating service and not a criminal organization, eh? 😂

Sasori said it would help ease the pain for when I’m standing.

Woke up today thinking of Chibi. I miss him 😞

No but if you come sit on my lap I bet I could make it better 😉

What about the others? Do they seem happy with it?

If I never see another drop of rain for as long as I live I’ll die a happy man.

My God how do you manage them?! I had to talk to Deidara and Hidan by myself and I thought I would kill them after the first two minutes!

I don’t care. You’re beautiful no matter what. 

Well we could always say we’ve disbanded the group, turn them loose, then hunt them for sport 😊