#idk i just got emotional 😭😭
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My b'day ain't close enough at all, but I am already fearing or hating to come closer to that month. I just wanna vanish for that fucking day.
Seriously, I love people but I can't dare to be near anyone on that day this year. Fear of getting hurt again...Or reminders of how I was hurt last year..? Both.
And seriously, my b-day doesn't mean anythin.. If my presence ain't appreciated now in your life. How can it become grand special that day lol... Tbh just gonna stay at my home and miss my classes. That's it.
#my sis was talking about this rn... with me.. seriously i felt so sad.. i don't want anyone to feel disturbed.#cause how tf anyone get confuse between attending her sis or friend bday that day...#i was like please it's oksy you can be here with your friend.. nd i as u said.. I'd enjoy it with my friends...#i got good friends but seriously i don't have heart to do any bs this year. . i#i either hate myself or this is fear - cause of the last yr#well fuck bday.. and enjoy it like other mundane day#p#idk i just got emotional 😭😭
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“I am here for you”
(Idk why but people don’t appreciate varadha side of friendship enough.He literally went against his father’s order and gave away his biggest territory for his friend’s safety.He chose to be rather humiliated,looked down and disgraced by everyone than tell why he did that so his friend can be safe. that too for over 25 years(dyk how many days that is)and he was only a 10 years old child.When his father asked him if he knew the kadha’s value,of course he did why would not he? but there was something more valuable for him.His only friend.His Bestfriend.How was he suppose to measure it when he knows what deva means to him. He knew what would happen if he did that but still he gave it away like nothing cus nothing matters except deva to him.he had made his decision.He let his only friend go and he was ready if this meant to be their last meet if it means his friend would be safe and if it meant he had to be alone forever.His mother was no more,his father dishonored him,his step siblings hated him.He was alone raising his little brother. “A Child raising a Child” he went through so much hardship at such young age. He had to grew up an adult before he knew he was just a little boy. He had many people depend upon him at such young age. He couldnot just let himself get swept away and be carefree. He has responsibilities. If deva is ready kill and bury anyone before they try to even touch a strand of his beloved’s hair(lets say varadha😏), varadha is ready to give away his everything for his loved ones even if it means his life.)
#salaar#varadha rajamannar#prithviraj sukumaran#varadeva#devaratha raisaar#varadha is such an amazing character#his part of friendship is equally strong#idk what path rode to their friendship demise and idk what path will prashanth neel choose#but til now and how much we have seen of him#I just love the character Varadha. both the child actor and prithvi did such a wonderful job portraying the character and his emotions#when prithvi described varadha as a vulnerable character.#I got it. yes he is. the emotions he buried for so long makes him so emotionally unstable and we can see it#his sorrow runs so deep.#his buried emotions has become his nightmares but he still can’t show it all cus he can’t appear weak. he has to look strong#to his enemies and for the ones who depend on him#I want to give him a tight hug😭he is so alone now#varadha made me fall in love with prithvi guys😭best choice for Varadha lmty#I am sobbing now🥲🥲🥲#well I made two of this edit one for varadha and another for deva. Both different tho#karthikeya dev
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day 135/547 of missing jungkook
#jk#jungkook#buny#said i would yap abt this live and here it is#ik when i was watching it live i said to smone like. the mood is weirdly melancholic but now hes talking abt food and instantly its lighter#but since then i kinda forgot that the first half of that live is like. SUCH AN ODD VIBE#and i rewatched unprepared for it 😭 and got emotional#like idk. like the vibe is DAMP. its heavy not necessarily sad but it was Heavy#and hes talking abt not sleeping well lately and waxing poetic abt he can come here when he feels unstable and it feels safe n comforting#and like. mentioning he feels nauseous and one song looped for like 20 mins and sitting in the fucking dark just pondering silently#like bro ARE U GOOD????? its giving Me whenever im horribly depressed 😭#like ik u cant really tell someones feelings from their face esp if u dont know them but he just seemed. troubled#and i was watching it like Bro why are u on a livestream sitting in the dark staring at me w big wet eyes ARE U OK…….#and then he starts talking abt food and my eyes literally got wet bc he just. immediately brightened#and got talkative again#and i cant explain idk it made me emotional like. wuh hes happy telling us abt his noodle recipe….wuh……#and i had to tap out idk ill watch the rest later. IDK IDKKKKKKK im just fond. whatever
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#not to be a broken lil man on main#but I was on the phone with my dad for 30 minutes just now (that's a lot for a phone call with him) and like.... damn. yeah. i do have one#parent who's not horrible huh#we talked a lot about my plans for the future...... which I only now told him bcs scary and bcs........ I never ever during my 25 years of#being alive got the impression from my parents that something like this would be an acceptable career choice or something they'd support#and I mean. my [redacted] of a mother is the best example for how. not alright it is with her that I'm doing something that's not very...#traditional for this family#but anyways. my dad was absolutely fucking lovely#to the point that I get getting teary eyed and felt my throat closing up cause. huh. i guess in his own way he does love me and believe in#he asked me to send him a link or a pdf of my first conference report because he wants to keep it somewhere 😭😭😭😭😭😭#I'm....... ouch. ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch#you know the ghosting I am really good at with tumblr chats (sorry guys. ilu. I just suck at communication)???? i'm also extremely good at#that with whatsapp chats and just. not calling my irl loved ones#so idk. hearing him say he understands and just wanted to make sure I wasn't upset with him and like. wanted to know if I was doing okay.#damn. okay. damn#idk#this was such a good talk and he was so suppertive and non-judgemental and I actually told him about my birthday and how my mother's call#upset me and he was like. yeah. same. and like... he's basically gone no contact with her as well as it turns out#idk. I really should give him more credit and like... I feel like there's so much shifting and change and development happening while I'm n#not there and sometimes it's hard to remember that he actually /could/ understand some things. just cause I've always been so used to not#sharing anything about myself because it wasn't safe when I was younger and... idk........ lots of emotions going on rn#so glad we talked though. so glad#simon.out.#if you read all this.... idk man.... sorry for oversharing but thanks for caring ig <3
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if chibnall was the one writing this season you lot would be talking VERY differently
#anti rtd#oomfs ur so right#s14 is the kinda mid that people think his era was#and yet#you throw in that razzle dazzle written by rtd and all of a sudden there's no criticisms!#or worse somehow#is how its a polite and gentle reframing of chibs criticism#like with him it was hey he ate this singular one thing But I KNOW CHIBS IS BAD HE'S TERRIBLE DONT WORRY I KNOW IT#and with rtd its oh i disliked this nonsensical and objectively bad writing but ummm guys i lOVED LOVED everything else i swear#its soooooooooooooOOOOOOOOO#it must be studied#but i knew yous were a lost cause when we had 14/15 running around calling men hot bc yes totally something the doctor just does#not ooc at allllll#bc this is how we know the doctor is queer now guys#dont you know it#i have like a million other complaints i miss being like oh hey that was mid/bad and moved on with my life 😭😭#god i think 13 era killed me bc now i do care about u hypocritical losers#rip 15ruby i wish i cared and that you had any development#ncuti millie i would like to hang out with you though#15 maybe you'll cry less next season so that the emotional scenes have impact perhaps 🙏🏾🙏🏾#ramblings of an insomniac#god i just remembered the whole real mum antics#fuck i need to go i gotta go!!!!#ps the ncuti conundrum where he's the most charismatic dr in nuwho whilst also being the worst actor is driving me nuts#idk if its the characterisation or his lack of ability in creating that inner psychology that connective tissue between his louder acting#which he's great at btw!#idk maybe that one monologue in boom made me go yes okay here we goooo#but then every other moment has been like hmmmnnnmtgodhd okay whateve#i think he needed more acting prep before he got this role bc he's got Something he could be Great but the subtle stuff is lacking#sooo hoping he can grow into that but it's giving perfect actor wrong time.... and if ur white ur not allowed to agree with me shush go away
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depression is really weird actually wdym i spent 2.5 years of my life in bed
#and wdym that lifestyle changed so quickly into being out and about and an active member of the world??#very proud of myself#and i mean it wasn't that quick of a change#it was like 1.5 years primarily depression bedrotting with occasional school -> primarily depression bedrotting ->#primarily depression bedrotting with 3-9 hours of work weekly -> straight into 31+ hours school+9-12 hours work weekly#so there was somewhat of a gradual progression#but still#also wowza i wake up 7-7:30am every morning now. 1pm was an early wake up for a not so insignificant amount of time#i mean of all fundamental growth years to miss out on the ages like what 12/13-15 aren't too bad? they would suck in a different way if i#had been socially involved#anyway it's just. yea i'm proud of myself but it is a crazy lifestyle change#and even when i was deeply depressed in a horrible routine i feel like i learned a lot. how to regulate my emotions and cope well and find#the joy in everything. bc if i stayed in bed all day then i would at least be happy about the sun or whatever#and for the while of being not at school at all i WANTED to be at school i just could not find one bc our school system is so cute like tha#(basically every school is at capacity and the local school that has a guaranteed place for me would have been an all boys or girls 😭)#but i miraculously found and got into this school and miraculously made it work so well for me socially and now academically#it's also a good time to get back into school for my education bc any later and it woulda been pretty bad for all my certifications and uni#ive missed out on so much maths that its not worth it to me to try and catch up but my teacher knows that#but ive always hated maths regardless i only ever understood it for the first half of yr 7 then my attendance dropped#and after my recent exam i decided to try harder at school. but i still got an A on the exam i didn't study for!! academic weapon fr#i'm just idk thinking back to myself in the past few years#and how hopeless it all felt. but i got out of it!! i beat the depression and social anxiety and found a good place and made the most of it#and during the peak of my depression i remember i went out someplace near my old school and panicked so so badly about seeing#kids from my old school. and the friends at the time didnt really check on me when i went to shake and cry in a side street lmao#i kept the best of that friendgroup and have better friends now. but anyway now i take a bus each morning with some kids from my old school#and you see these hands? they look like they're shaking to you?#anyway yeah it's just cool i got to this point :) i really had no hope for so long but now i have a life i'm living and a future i'm build#--ing towards#which is funny i just decided some random day last november after watching some better call saul 'huh actually lawyer would b pretty cool'#and will i get there? we'll see but i do have hope now
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your destiny has passed you by...
#pokemon oras#lorekeeper zinnia#rayquaza#just their tail but. whatever.#i got a little emotional just from reading the wish pokemon evolutions episode bulbapedia page<-SO normal#...no idk how wind works leave me alone😭#my art
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...😭
#i've never had a job in my own field that i've liked as much as i've liked my current one#the semester is ending soon and today i heard my contract will not be renewed bc the person i'm substituting will return to work after all#i've been feeling so tired and a bit poorly after the nokia arena show and i probably should have called in sick today#as i was absolutely useless today#and then after my only class today my students came to me with a gift?? 😭#a pink enamel moomin mug and some chocolate and a paper on which they had written nice things about me + a drawing of a dachshund 😭#and i burst to tears right there in front of them because i was so touched (and also because i'm just really really tired and emotional)#i'm so tired about having to apply for new jobs and having to start all over again#i'm so tired of having to do shitty short-notice substitutions again#i feel like i deserve better than that but on the other hand i fee like life's giving me exactly what i deserve and maybe this is it#i'm dreading the summer because idk if i'll have a job to go to in the autumn#and even if i did find something it won't be like the job i have now#also. it's may day eve and the weather's lovely#and i'm hiding in my apartment with the curtains closed so i won't see all the people going out and having fun with their friends#for me may day eve has never been like that. i've always felt so very excluded from those celebrations#on top of that i got yelled at by a bus driver and i'm the worst friend that ever existed#i'm trying to quit on whining about my sad little life but it gets so lonely#please know i'm not writing this for attention or pity. i know y'all have problems of your own and i'm just being a dramatic crybaby
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Last arcane episode ever..... here we fucking go....
#50 MINUTES YEAAAAHHH!! IM SO GLAD THEY HAVE BEEN GETTING LONGER THERE WAS NO WAY!!!#the last drop no..... YEEEEEEEEEEES EKKO!!!!!! OH MY GOOOOOD YEEEEEEEES always a dance with you OOOOOOOOHHHHH she even has the same hair 😭#is she gonna build the new zaun for isha.... like vander wanted for vi and powder.... 😭😭😭 with ekko 😭😭😭#watching jinx kill herself over and over is something else that was so funny.... im sorry but ajdkansk#WHATS WITH THOSE CUTS WHATS GOING ON.... WDYM WE ARE MEANT TO LOSE THIS FIGHT??? IN THE FUTURE HE SAW RIGHT???#OH ITS THAT GIRL VI IS CARRYING OMG BUT SHE IS LOOKING FOR JINX!!! NOOO SHE FUCKING DIEEED AMBESSA IS A BEAST!!! DID THEY GET CAIT???#VANDER NOOOO OOOH ITS VIKTOR TOO!!ITS OOOOOOVER maddie being there still..... a consensual workplace relationship... cait....#LORIS!!!! VIIIIIIIIIIIII caitlyn looks so good..... and vi too.... but did they run out of armors.... the guy who left his family DIED TOO!!#caitlyn that was so hot.... they got her.... MADDIE!!!! WHAT THE FUUUUUUCK I THOUGHT THAT WOULD NOT EEEEEVER HAPPEN!!! AK WITH HER OWN GUN!#OH MY GOD MEL!!! MADDIE EXECUTED FOR HER CRIMES!!!! i know people are cheering!!! JINX ON HER BLIMP!!! the egg was a distraction.....#jayce be ready for your divorce.... THE HALO!!! THE VOICE!!! his voiced softened when he said to see you omg... SEVIKA NOOOOOOOOO#cait and mel joining forces to maximize their joint (literal) slay against ambessa.... and vi and jinx vs vander.... cruel#beef squashed..... no way she died????? omg... we havent seen caits left side.... and she was bleeding.... one fear. VIKTOR IS SO TALL!!!#how does it feel to look up jayce.... also jinx saying they are always together 🥺🥺 they are flying again.... omg jinx looks so scared...#OH NOOOOOO SEE CAIT HURT HER EYEE viktor saying they want better lives but emotion clashes with reason after a season of just that.... omg#series thesis.... this is actually so meta if i may say so.... vander and silco.... jinx and vi and the rocket... cait and ambessa....#and finally jayce saving viktor.... and jayce searching for the arcane after he was saved as a kid.... all of it..... ALL OF IT....#THE BOY SAVIOR!!!! VIKTOR IS BACK!!!! HE WANTS HIS PARTNER BACK OMG#YES THE MAGE IS VIKTOR!!!! OH MY GOOOD!!! ONLY YOU CAN SHOW ME THIS! CAITVI FUCKED ON SCREEN AND SOMEHOW THIS IS GAYER!!!#JAYCE!!! YOU ARE ALRIGHT!!! EKKO MADE THAT WITH AN INVERSION OF JAYCES RUNE!! OF COURSE!!! THE WTO MEN AND THE ANOMALY!!!#they are literally adam and steve... VI OMG!!!! SHE CANT TAKE IT NOOOOOO JINX AND VANDER!!!! NOOOO EKKO ALONEEEE NOOOO#SEVIKA COUNCIL MEMBER!!! CAIT GAVE HER HER SEAT!!! AND SINGED AND HIS DAUGHTER!!! MEL WHAT THE HELL!!! BACK TO NOXUS???#caitlyn seeing that jinx escaped through the air ducts... yeah..... she is on that blimp#can you believe we ended arcane with two happy lesbians..... like everything went to hell jayce and viktor saved it and disappeared....#through it all one thing remained.. two lesbians in love <3 can we get an applause for two lesbians in love.... they made a band about this#(love of lesbian)#talking tag#watching arcane#watching arcane season 2#you know towards the end the characters looked a lot more like normal 3d animated... idk how to explain it
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what if i said i actually love too weird to live, too rare to die and think it’s underrated. what then.
#idk at least the time i’ve lurked around p!atd fandom stuff it feels like no one ever brought up this album 😭😭#vices and virtues too but at least then there was still leftover ryan ross scraps to hold onto#but like. idk i like the dark las vegas vibes of twtltrtd#i’m not the biggest fan of this is gospel but once you get past it it’s got some bangers ngl#one super minor gripe with the album is that i think the brobecks version of far too young to die is better than the twtltrtd version#it’s minor but it’s true. listen to both versions of the song and you’ll understand#my only real complaints though are just with the lyrical content of girls/girls/boys and casual affair#i like the songs themselves but the lyrics….. who let them cook actually#what was brendon doing. why are you singing about affairs like that whilst you’re a fully married man. ????#but honestly the transition towards the end of the album to more romantic songs is nice#i think it fits well and is a good way to slowly die the energy down without completely squashing it#the end of all things is genuinely a beautiful song but an even more beautiful ending to the album#the lyrics are brendon’s wedding vows and the piano is very nice#i like the effects on the vocals and i think they were a good choice to make everything even more cohesive#it doesn’t take away from the emotional value of the song and it also makes it fit better on the album than if it were just a regular#kind of piano ballad#but then also having collar full be the song leading up to it? even better#i fucking love collar full and agh. having it lead into the end of all things is perfect for it#it’s fun on its own but it’s even better in context i think#anyways. too weird to live too rare to die is an alright pop rock album. go listen to it if you want#me.txt
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#julie and the phantoms#pls have this meme#woke up this morning and the news from the convention were REAL#and im still not okay about it 😭#like WHAT DO YOU MEAN WE EERR SUPPOSED TO HAVE 5 SEsons. FIVE. THATS FOUR MORE SEASONS OF ORIGINAL MUSIC AND JUKE AND THE MOLINA FAMILY AND#SIGNS SISJJS#i literally found out the news last night while playing board games and drinking with my friends and straight up started crying because i wa#so emotional about it. i thought I WAS OKAY EITH NOT KNOWING HOW JATP ENDS BUT NOW IM EVEN MORE MAD THAT IT WAS CANCELLED AND KENNY WASNT#ABLE TO BUY THE RIGHTS TO IT AND I JUST.#but mainly im so happy we get this kind of closure and it must not have been easy for kenny and the producers to have had known this info#and idk. im just glad this is the closure we got.#also madi in the stand tsll jacket? ohmygod.#also hello from the dead aka my queue.#text post
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its always surreal to me to see people praise s2 of centaurworld. s2 was so spectacularly bombastic and aimless and it ended in this awkward forgettable fizzle.
i feel like a dick saying it b/c i really do love the show lmao. or, at least half of it lmao (/stares at tnwk). gf and i've been thinking about rewatching it just to write out our thoughts on why s2 was such a poor follow-up to s1 - from the tone to the setup to all the worldbuilding the narrative had to offer in between the (far more) memorable songs of s1. idk. it's sad because cw really had the bones of a cult classic, but idek if you can call it that.
ive seen a few posts commenting on its lack of popularity, and i feel like it certainly deserves more, b/c i do feel like it's a novel idea made w/ love, but the shift btwn s1 and s2 wasnt just in the plot. there was a full-on *fracture* in the quality and direction and i'm still scratching my head over it. more than i should be, probably. but, it's just a bummer.
#centaurworld#centaurworld critical#<- a tag i never thought i'd use lol#ok EDIT: fuck it im tagging this maybe there are others who'll also see their own viewing experiences in this post too#dont mind me rambling#but i got an ask on my thoughts abt cw a long time ago (hi!! i still have it 😭) and ive been wanting to write a detailed response since.#debating tagging this since the fandom's already p small and i dont wanna bump the tag with negativity#even if it is (what i feel is) p fair criticism. but idk people are sensitive and conflate it w hate idk idk#ive seen thinly-veiled hate posts in the t*ngled the series tags and it's always bothered me.#bc you can tell op just like hates xyz character or the show entirely and its like can you just come out and say it LMFAOO#but i genuinely like cw. i so so very much do. so i get bummed out! gf and some other friends and i were so excited for s2 and#when it rolled out ep by ep we were like 'it'll get better right? right?'#also tempted to just draw more cw fanart in general bc the t t s fandom is slow and if half the people dont have each other blocked#theres simply 0 overlap in fave chars or interpretations so lmao#im going back to work i just feel sour LMAO#also adding that i think a lot of people conflate a story eliciting an emotional reaction from you = its good#but ill revisit that and all these thoughts again eventually in another post. we'll see.#and i STILL want a nwk tattoo lmao. or at least an elkie. gf and i love elk bc of this guy! the impact that he has!#xangoeswah
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~
if you can, would you pray for me? I am having a really hard time right now.
I just. I have too much to do 😭 I've been in survival mode 24/7 for the last four weeks. and the homework is only going to get worse, and I will only have less time for it from here on out because more clients will be booking my hours at work.
Also, I haven't been able to visit my parents for weeks, and the one in-person friend I had at college graduated last year. I'm lonely. I love you all but being with people in the body is a human need. Also, I'm struggling with even feeling like church community is worth attending church this year.
#Robin processes emotions on main#hnnnnnng#I'm so tired#blindsided by this tiredness#senior year and I'm EXHAUSTED turns out#thinking of dropping my 1-credit extra class. idk. that class is so fun though :((( it's creative writing: worldbuilding#idk. also this week in particular has just been really rough for VARIOUS reasons. among them: I have to write a proposal#for my capstone project. which! will! be! good! I get to do self-directed writing! work one-on-one with my favorite professor!#but AUGH the timing of this proposal being due This Week...#I'm sorry y'all. I've got nothing. I need help#AND IT'S RAINING AND I DIDN'T BRING AN UMBRELLA 😭#just adding insult to injury there tbh 😂#God's Hardest Battles To His Silliest Clowns et cetera#oh also hi I'm back early because I was lonely
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The coolest gender thing in the 2009 Japanese video game persona 3 100% how hard they coded shinjiro as the dead mom
#.txt#i got soooo mad in the car driving home thinking about how his drug addiction is essentially the classic anime heart condition.#in that the only side effect of the suppressants is that they will kill him. like?#i realized for the longest time i had assumed the chest pain and sweating came from the drugs but thats. castor. obviously.#it doesnt affect his mood or his awareness its like a mood stabilizer pain relief pill?#its so odd that hes framed as like. being addicted to illegal street drugs. BY THE NARRATIVE.#when its more like hes on the most insane experimental medication that they wont even test on like. rats.#also im not fact checking any of this before posting. so i might be lying about things.#idk if it was all of strega that had trouble controlling their personas but like. chidori was because of the Experimentation.#and shinjis just like. mentally ill coded. in a bad way 😭#The inability to regulate a mood/stimuli to the point where he can be unsafe to himself or others.#broad ass symptom of disorders that are not treated well. its also interesting that its not brought on by a specific event.#like the childhood fire is there. but you have akihiko right there to directly compare it to. and hes arguably more effected by it all.#and he seems to be coping well 10+ years on like some coping mechanisms are kind of weird (protein) but nothing super out of the ordinary.#so the problem is really the october 4th incident which was just a pure honest to god accident.#the fact that it gets covered up as a car accident does feel like the best like. emotional equivalent.#because it being shinji being unable to control his persona his true representation of himself and it resulting in death is sooooo bleak#and it weighs on him for 2+ years of being suicidal and unhoused until finally he goes through with his suicide by martyrdom.#i lost the plot a little bit on the gender situation with the vague allusions to fraility when story convenient#acting as dorm den mother and cooking and sewing long hair jacket sillhouette reading like a dress#was referring to that before mental illness took over. woman under the influencing this anime boy.#long way of saying i think he should have a over the shoulder ponytail when hes older. and he should have a mood disorder.
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OMG you like moral orel?? who is your favorite character :]c *Blinking and fluttering my eyelashes beautifully*
i watched the whole thing in a few days, ended yesterday. My faves are nurse bendy and joe (together and as a unit), stephanie (individually and then as a unit with the reverend but i dont like him individually), + danielle, of course
#idk how to feel about it in general i know there was more planned but it got cancelled but it still ended too suddenly ykwim#i liked what we saw at the end with orel finding family elsewhere (before he grows up)#i like orel himself outside of the wacky edgy adult themes of it all as a Kid who is Good#when i was watching that last episode i got a bizarre kind of emotional bc when he first poses the Big Question i Knew#that the answer was that the only good thing abt his father was that he had a hand in making him#i get so sad with stories involving children like dis 😭#i feel like even if it was fully complete the show had more potential ykwim....i know the Tonal Shift makes the impact more...impactful#but i feel it cldve been handled differently or in different amounts. idk!#skunk mail#pawzcore#i also get its bc the eps are short but nature 1 and 2 didnt impact me the way it did others#like. idk. i knew beforehand it was the serious moment(s)/episode(s) but it wasnt presented in a way that#actually shifted My mood when watching it...clay's nonchalance from the eyes of me as a viewer#just comes off as humorous rather than serious ykwim? not that its funny but it doesnt feel high stakes at all#the whole thing didnt feel high stakes or serious unless u remove it from the context of the show youve been watching#for 2 seasons#its fucked up when you see it on paper but then in the show its different....if that makes sense
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well. i finished ch 17 of hi3. but at what cost
#avil plays hi3#tbf majority of me playing through hi3 just looks like This.#yes the acheron trailer made me get up and finish ch 17#i. :(#the fight between kiana and mei was so painful :(#ok also i suck ass in the combat and i was so scared of having to restart#BUT I THINK I HURT MORE THE FACT THAT KIANA JUST REFUSED TO GIVE UP ON MEI#BUT MEIS ALSO DOING THIS BECAUSE SHES TRYING TO SAVE KIANA#AND THEY WERE BOTH FIGHTING TO STOP AND TRY TO SAVE EACH OTHER#MEI YOU SAVED KIANA BUT LIKE..... DONT YOU WANT TO LIVE ALONGSIDE HER.... MEI PLEASE#tbh. the way i was going through ch 17 for hi3.#kiana and mei remind me a lot of oz and gil's relationship back in pandora hearts but#now it makes me want to hit my head on a brick wall because#'wow. i really just gravitate tO THE SAME FUCKING MEDIA EVERY DAMN TIME AVIL STOP IT FFS'#also idk i was thinking about it too#mei tried earlier to use the herrschers powers to try and protect kiana but it wasnt enough. she failed that time#and with no other option to save her she just HAD to and it makes me HURT that this was her only option#IN HER HEAD. I BELIEVE IN YOU MEI I THINK THERE COULDVE BEEN ANOTHER OPTION HERE (IDK WHAT BUT I AM SOBBING)#sprawls on the ground#at least i can have an emotional break for a little bit.... hsr update so i can chill w that#and then when i finish catching up w that. then i go back to being hi3's punching bag#can i get off this train now? why'd i sign myself up for this (welt yang doomed me and then i got fucked over by everything else)#idk also the way that both mei AND kiana resorted to using their herrscher powers to stop the other. two stubborn people....#but its done because they just... they just care so much and want to save the other#okay yeah we did beat each other up about it bUT STILL#MEI I BELIEVE IN YOU YOU CAN TURN THIS AROUND 😭😭😭😭😭#anyways. glad i did. i have the worst stomach ache rn so i was Going through it#but my brain hit a reset so i feel normal now. save for the crying
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