#idk i felt very passionate about this
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
the uniforms in enterprise make 0 sense to me.
through the passage of time in the shows the uniforms lose more and more color. so if we work backwards they gain MORE color :)
ex.
see???? just a little around the neck
then just the shoulders :)
torso! minus the shoulders.
whole shirt! entire shirt! its the whole entire shirt!
so OBVIOUSLY as we work backwards through the timeline you'd expect EVEN MORE COLOR based on this, right?
WRONG
they only have! little shoulder lines!!!! by logic these guys should be wearing full jumpsuits of color! a morph suit to show they're an engineer or something!!! BUT NO! it makes ZERO sense to me to jump from this style of uniform with the itty bitty bit of color to an entire shirt worth!!!!
put them in jump-suits! make them look stupid! make their shoes match their color, even! I want them to look ridiculous.
#i chose kira to be the ds9 uniform bc she is very pretty#thank you for coming to my ted talk#ANYWAYS#i remeber the first time i saw star trek#i was watching it on a channel that showed one episode from each series in order#so tos > tng > ds9 > voyager > enterprise#so i watched the progression of these uniforms in order#and the enterprise ones BLEW ME AWAY#i was not expecting the minimalization of color?#idk i felt very passionate about this#that was like years ago#but i have time now so here i am#screaming into the void#star trek#star trek the original series#tos#ds9#deep space nine#voyager#enterprise#star trek: enterprise#star trek uniforms#star fleet uniforms
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
yes i'm rooting for m*leven breakup because byler is neat but mostly? i'm rooting for m*leven breakup for the sake of el and mike.
to me, their romance was always a puppy love born out of a combination of social pressures, naïve curiosity, and a lack of true understanding regarding intimacy and romantic love and what it really is. it was real in that they do truly, deeply care about each other and they are close friends, maybe even shared an attraction, but a maturing romance is so much more than that. they've grown up and out of being boyfriend/girlfriend, and that's okay! i think television/film needs to show more often that most of us don't have definite "soulmates" or first childhood loves that we spend our whole lives with. it doesn't mean these relationships meant nothing and didn't impact us, it just means they've run their course and that something else is in the cards, and this is part of life!
i've always felt el was at her best and most confident self when broken up with mike, discovering who she was and what she liked alongside another girl her age instead of just relying on mike for mentorship on how to live in the real world. she deserves more of an opportunity to find herself, her autonomy, and her independence, and to love who she is, and she's made it clear she's felt insecure in the relationship with mike because she isn't being loved and understood the way she wants, needs, and deserves from someone who is her partner.
also, it's okay if mike doesn't love her in "the way he should". he is not obligated to love her romantically and stay in a relationship with her just because she's a girl, because she "needed someone", or because he cares about her a lot. he shouldn't be pressured into a romance if it's not truly coming from his heart. he deserves freedom to find out and honour who he is, too, instead of just staying in his non-functional first relationship — one he got into as a child, essentially — and defining himself that way because it's what's expected when a boy and a girl are close. he loves her in some way, yes, but it's okay if he doesn't feel comfortable or secure being her boyfriend anymore, for whatever reason that is. he's felt insecure too, and that's valid and it matters.
they are their own people and are steadily growing and changing every day. they need time to figure out who those people are, and it's become clear (at least in my opinion) that those people aren't meant to be a couple at this stage.
they deserve freedom. they deserve to grow up and be authentic to themselves and not feel like they need to lie for the sake of a relationship. they deserve to move on from this version of their relationship that isn't making them happy and rekindle the best part of their bond: their strong, beautiful friendship. they don't have to be a couple if it doesn't make them stronger and better and happier people.
i think it would be healthy and wonderful for a show, especially one consumed frequently by young adults, to show a relationship starting, progressing, and ending on good terms in this way. sometimes things don't work out, and that is okay.
#eve text#elmike#stranger things#byler#only tagging byler because i feel like yall will like this take lol#tagging tagging tagging WHAT ARE EVERYONE ELSE'S THOUGHTS#god i can't believe i'm making a post about stranger things. this feels like poking a bear#i'm not particularly anti m*leven but like... they'd have to do something pretty special at this point for me to feel like it's viable#i'm seeing the bts of s5 and it's got me Having Thoughts#elmike friendship is something i am so passionate about#even before i ever liked byler (didn't ship at all until s4 even though i knew it was a thing before) i've felt this way about elmike#i always believed they were close friends at heart and needed to break up#the romance part of them felt very distinctly young and very much “he was a boy she was a girl” to me#and it hasn't deepened into anything more mature and i don't see how it could based on the current state of the writing...#the fact that lumax exists — a young relationship that is actively maturing and is healthy — makes that clear to me#and the “love confession” in s4 and how disingenuous and miserable it felt was just the nail in the coffin#also the fact that will (who is IN LOVE with mike) was instrumental in making it happen? ... uh... okay... interesting choice…#fucked up and reductive if they make it another queer unrequited love sacrifice for the sake of pushing the heterosexual agenda YUCK#so i really hope the speculation about a m*leven breakup is real!! i think it just makes sense for their characters but who knows#i don't believe in the notion of love at first sight or one true love and i think the writers don't too???#love to me is an accumulation of experiences and we inevitably choose it at some point rather than fall into it... but idk#tv is so fixated on keeping couples together... sometimes it's just not reality guys especially with young people... LET IT GO...#like i said though i'm not 100% sold that they're going to give up their “golden couple” LMAO#stranger things hasn't historically subverted too many tropes if i'm being honest#anyway i seriously need this season to come out quickly... i'm so bored and getting my master's is crushing my soul#i need frivolity#ALSO btw i won't respond to hateful messages about this so please don't bother. it's not that serious. this is a netflix show
160 notes
·
View notes
Text
alright, but one of blamore's hobbies is sculpture-making and so he HAS made numerous smaller ones over the years, but the one he's making right now is this statue of artemis (whom is the greek goddess of the hunt, the wilderness, and wild animals which is EXACTLY why it chose to make a sculpture representing her) is something it aims to be a little bit shorter than himself — so i guess you could say it is sort of a big project?¿ yeah LMAO and if blamore isn't gardening, then it'll usually be working on it.
now, so far, he's only got the bust done all the way to the shoulders as of now + it's mixed media so it's made mostly of wood, BUT it's also got some other elements like wire and some random things that you might not normally think of mixing into a sculpture in it. though man's doesn't just show anyone his progress on it because he usually wants thing's to be 'done' before he does... and that is to say that, if it does happen to show this sculpture to you, then you are officially one of its friends (':
#IT WAS PROBABLY NOTHING BUT IT FELT LIKE THE WORLD: musings.#ahh... idk why but this morning i could just picture him making a wood sculpture so vividly in my mind and from there my mind just went-#'oh... wait. wait a minute. what if he wasn't just making ANY kind of sculpture but one of the greek goddess of nature herself?' 👀#and i of course was like HELL YEAHHH in response to that so this is how this idea had come to be lolll but yeah.#i have to say that although blamore may not be the world's greatest sculptor (of course) that he has done a rather good job on it in my-#humble opinion judging by how i've imagined it in my head bc there has been a LOT of detail that has gone into this imaginary statue y'all-#NGL haha buttt although i do not approve of everything that blamore does (actually that's probably MOST of what he does 💀)#i think that it is very cool whenever people are passionate enough about their craft to work for MONTHS on something and blamore has been-#working on this sculpture for months himself so he is. Kind of funky fresh in this way??? yeah i'd say so though ofc i DO NOT endorse his-#atrocities JSJSJ i just like that he's putting his all into something that isn't bad for once y'know? so yessss
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
I LOVE going everywhere by bike. Don't need to wait for a bus. Don't need to cram myself into a bus with (urgh) people. Or even worse, what feels like every single student in town. I still get home in about the same amount of time. I'm so so flexible including with places. Like yeah sure, let's go there! I don't care if the next bus station is far away. Doesn't matter to me.
Stayed out late with friends recently. Two of em had to get their family to come pick them up because that's too far to walk and it was too late for buses. A different friend lives like 30 minutes away but always walks and their way goes through a small park where literally no one is at with few lanterns so it's pitch black and I could literally just walk them home and then take the bike which is faster and has its own light and feels and probably is safer than walking those dark ass streets at night alone.
Like. I can just do all that. And yeah, sometimes when I'm not doing too well I feel like collapsing afterwards and yeah, maybe my fingers feel like falling off a lot at this time of year but that's like. SO worth it. I have no idea how people can live and NOT go everywhere by bike. Like if it's more than 20-30 minutes maybe but even with hills.... I fucking love my bike.
#a biscuit's rambles#also i just love going out with friends til late??#with the lockdown and shit that is such an entirely new experience and its great#also i like feeling useful i think. i like walking a friend home knowing ill definitely get home safe#idk#i also like my bike. a lot#been taking it literally every single day for years now and i have no regrets#EXCEPT FOR THOSE FUCKING PEDESTRIANS THAT HEAR MY BELL AND DO NOT FUCKING MOVE#AND THE OTHER BIKES THAT JUST DONT RING THEIR BELLS OR NOT EVEN HAVE ANY#LIKE THEN YOU GOTTA AT LEAST YELL AT PEOPLE TO MOVE OVER YOU NUMBNUT#A BIKE IS QUIET THEY DO NOT HEAR YOU THEY WILL NOT MOVE OVER MAGICALLY#AND IM STUCK BEHIND YOU#ALSO ITS JUST ASSHOLE BEHAVIOUR LIKE SOMEITMES WARNING SOMEONE SO THEY KEEP TO THE BLOODY SIDE IS GOOD!!!#and dont even get me STARTED ON SOME OF THE CARS#MUCH LESS THE STUPID ASS FUCKING INFRASTRUCTURE OF MY TOWN#ITS LIKE THEY WANT BIKES TO BE RUN OVER#fun fact i have been run over before#just fuckin collided with a car#nobody would listen to me try to pick apart the details of how it felt#which was probably my way of trying to cope with that experience lol#though nothing serious happened. bUT STILL#also oh god that one stupid fucking street with those stupid ass cars NOBODY NEEDS A CAR THERE JUST BAND HTEM ALREADY#AND THE. THE FUCKIGN ROADWORKS#I CAN NOT REACH MY SCHOOL WITHOUT ALMOST BEING EITHER HIT IN THE HEAD WITH A HUGE SHOVEL OR RUN OVER BY A TRUCK#AND IF THATS NOT THE CASE THEN THERES SO MANY FCKING PEOPLE THAT EVEN IF I YELL AT THEM LIKE MAD I CANT GET PAST WITHOUT RUNNING SOMEONE#THROUGH MYSELF#im very passionate about all things bike. but thinking abt it is a huge part of my life so im allowed to be
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
i think the most tragic thing in the byler fandom is that I have not seen any celebrity secret relationship aus 😔
#this is another “why don't you people like aus” post I guess lmao#“why is st*ddie so popular?” well you see those people write about a Variety Of Things. we have. fantasy. and spiderman#ok no I'm joking I know there's people writing a lot of aus I know this because they're sitting in my marked for later haunting me#(very sorry to the tumblr user writing the 1930s au and the other one writing the dirty dancing au I'm especially haunted by those 2)#I just have not felt as passionate about byler. in months. and am not reading my marked for later#so anyway I know there's aus. it does feel like we're still lacking some fundamental ones though. LIKE A GODDAMN CELEBRITY AU#do you know how bad I'm craving a good celebrity au rn#someone's probably written one I could probably go find one I just don't know what sort of tags to try#bc it could be like. band au! or actor au! or celebrity au! or twitch streamer au! like idk how someone would tag it#especially since I'm open to a variety of Known By The Public aus#I literally just need an au where they're famous sorry#stranger things#byler
31 notes
·
View notes
Text
this is also why i stopped using my tracked tag for a while tbh
#and i might do it again bc its just#a reminder that no one rly cares abt what i do / who i am etc#which might sound over dramatic idk how else to describe it tho its just hollow#it feels very much like a Chore and a Task and if i dont reblog things fast enough from my tag#people get very angry and/or upset with me even tho theres just#so much content and i have 0 time so everything gets queued no matter what#like this whole experience feels like a chore lmao#and it never ever used to#but now theres so much animosity if i dont behave / interact with things Properly#or whatever the make believe rules are idk#this dash can just be so negative like have we all truly descended into madness during this hiatus#bc like i get it ive been up and down and all around too but ive never been straight up MEAN to anyone in this community#and i never want to either so this entire situation thats been bubbling for months just feels like shit#bc what the fuck changed and how do we get back to where we were#i never ever ever ever felt this way before like idk the middle of last year#but ever since like last fall its just been idk. Bad#once again im sorry if ive ever done anything to upset anyone but my silence / absence doesnt mean i dont care#ive just been Incredibly busy due to some real life changes that are out of my control#i might not have energy to answer everything but i do Read everything and it does make me smile#and i save messages that are kind in my heart so i can be reminded of the root of what this blog is supposed to be#a space for something im very passionate about and previously had nowhere else to express said passion#so like idk if we all like the same things why does this weird feeling of competition linger over us lmao#why do all ccs have to fight???? each other???? when we all love and do the same things????#i have nothing against anyone personally but what i Do take issue with is the way that ive been doing this since 2021 and im fully just#ignored and shoved aside by so many people for reasons i fully dont know or understand#so yeah idk this is a novel i just woke up from a spontaneous nap bc im so exhausted i can only stay awake for 3 hours at a time#but yeah anyways idk !#be nice its so easy !#tbd
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
i get why people would opt to say walter was a terrible person since the beginning, but i think that's like, the most boring takeaway you can get about his character. he was already insecure and prideful from the start, and it's what would hurt him and keep hurting him. but like, being insecure and prideful are regular traits any regular person can have. the actions that he makes because of these traits, which in turn keep fueling his ego more and more, are what makes him an interesting character. and he was already pretty capable of hurting other people, but he wasn't doing it out of malice, but more because of careless selfishness at first. what makes walter terrifying is that the more he does it, the more he becomes aware of what he's doing, and the more he keeps going and keeps being more and more meticulous and deliberate about what he does that hurts people and even to the point when it was specifically to hurt people.
i think the traits were there in walter from the beginning—the pilot did a pretty good job of establishing how powerless he's felt all his life and just how susceptible he is to letting this newfound perceived power get to his head so easily. he even says this explicitly in 5x06 "Buyout" when he tells jesse "i'm not in the money business, i'm in the empire business". but saying he was this monster from the start kind of implies he didn't undergo through a character arc throughout the show when it's quite literally what he did. he got worse. so much worse. through mostly the fault of his own fragility.
#idk if i put it into words right but i'm just musing#was walter a good person when brba started? up in the air. but his family genuinely adored him. despite feeling like a loser teacher#some of his coworkers actually really liked and respected him. he was just as much of a regular person as anyone else was tbh#you know it's interesting that he and gale basically have the same motivations. why jump to meth of all things. why go from 0 to 100 when#it sounds COMPLETELY ridiculous. but they were both very passionate about chemistry who felt like their potentials were wasted and felt#like they were finally putting their skills to good use again. getting to flex their muscles and shit. whenever they cook better purer meth#than most other people. i think it's a really genius idea to have this premise for the show lol#cz as much as walter is motivated by him feeling like he desperately has to take control of his own life he also is a scientist at heart#who desperately needs to apply his knowledge and skills somewhere where it would feel gratifying#seriously dude you could've tried to get a paper published or two or something. djhdidhd#but the academe has its own Politics and whatnot. so one could only speculate why walt didn't get to pursue that any more#(aside from the whole grey matter industries thing)#anyway uhhh i hope i get the post across lol not to sound cheesy cliche but brba is a corruption slash character deterioration arc#quite literally the whole point is that he Didn't Start Off Like This And He Gets Worse#again. he already had some of his bad tendencies and traits but it's like. we all do that's not necessarily inherently make or break#it's what he DOES and KEEPS DOING. CONSCIOUSLY that turns him into the horrifying man he is by the end of it all#so i just think if your biggest takeaway is Walter Was Always A Monster then you're just missing the whole damn point#op#brbaposting
37 notes
·
View notes
Text
today I met a kid who has been smoking since he was 11... I am not sure what to think... Like, he still isn't legally allowed to smoke. I did mention that it's absolutely terrible for his health but I don't think I have the right to say anything more? Should I have? (He is still under 16)
#CSD#pride#transmasc#teenagers#Cigarettes#vaping#smoking#no clue if I did the right thing#BC I truly don't like smoking#And it was mentioned several times that this event was also for disabled people#like#I truly don't think that drugs have a place there#This was explicitly stated#but idk#It isn't my life#but it felt wrong to ignore it#Idk#I've been very passionate specifically about anti smoking since I was a kid#Watched my aunt's lungs collabs BC of it#I have strong feelings about this
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
pokemon horizons filler feels very…. off, to me. like that’s not to say all of it is bad, (i really enjoyed the palafin episode, plus the one with the krookodile) but this season’s filler feels very. nothing. like it feels like they’re already retreading ground with some very played out ideas (like fuecoco getting lost in the new episode)
and yknow im sort of a pokemon filler defender, some of them can be really charming and get me to like a pokemon i hadnt thought of before. but horizons just sorta feels like its going through the motions with some of these plots and that sorta worries me. like eve and i watched the newest episode all excited for fuecoco to finally get some development (because hes definitely the starter with the least going on out of the three and quaxwell just got a REALLY good episode beforehand) but then it was kinda just… more of the same. which is worrying, because we’re 60 episodes into this show now and we are lacking some substance here (that episode also especially worries me bc like… it literally comes across like they werent sure how to end the episode and just cut things short. im not really sure what the resolution is intended to be? like at least in previous filler, most of them would be cohesive plots)
#i worried bc it feels like the writers are already strapped for ideas with this cast#which is strange bc. isnt the whole point of moving on from ash to open up new characterization opportunities?#and dgmw the characters ARE good theyre very good. i love this cast a lot#but like… how many roy fillers are just gonna amount to. ‘’roy and fuecoco love each other’’#and how many floragato episodes are just gonna be ‘’liko looked at terapagos two seconds longer than she did for the kitty and kitty is mad’#… doesnt help that i also really dont like the sv pseudo legendary its so uglyyyy to me sorry#eve and i were also talking about roy and tbh hes sorta neglected in the trio#like… he feels like latestage ash to me where all his rough edges have been smoothed out#which is really unfair bc theyre not at all the same character. roy has a goal and passions and all that!#but he just feels like hes got less going on emotionally than liko or dot… which is worrying#i hope the ryme episode really picks up in this regard bc roy really needs some good character writing#like idk it just felt very obvious how neglected he is considering the dot episode right before#anyways rhis is just the filler the plot episodes are still very good#echoed voice
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
One of these days I’m gonna be brave enough to share my Sky spreadsheet on the official Discord server for over half a million users to see, but until that day comes, I wish the 6 or 7 of you here that use it a pleasant evening
#tempo tantrums#one time I got to see a similar spreadsheet that someone posted there#it only featured the base constellations#but it was GORGEOUS#photos and icons and they were all laid out to look like the spirit trees and#man it was a SIGHT#I was quite envious at first - always my first and biggest mistake#wow someone did this thing I’m very passionate about so much better than I did#and I felt that way for a little while#until some users lamented that the sheet was completely unusable on mobile#some friends pointed out that they preferred my spreadsheet because a) it was easy to see and understand#and b) it was actually usable on mobile#and I think about that a lot#dare I say I even cried about that afterward#every sheet a person makes has its role to play in the community#maybe in that respect my spreadsheet will be well received but idk
21 notes
·
View notes
Text
maybe im just very hard to please when it comes to media lately but I didn’t really like this bsd episode
#im a casual fan so not passionately upset but yea wasn’t really a fan 😭 but idk what could’ve happened since I’ve had concerns all season#I feel a little Ough 🤕 about being negative for bsd+csm+jjk in most of my recent posts ahdhdnsnfj#and it. MIGHT just be me bc it seems like no one has issues w bsd/csm but. idk all of these have felt shakier in their plot and characters#like all of these I’ve been like: oh wow I LOVE this character or scene but overall?? hm#still like all of them but trying to be more detached since I wanna enjoy what I can#im a firm believer of just dropping something if I don’t like it but the problem is I still like these enough 😭 but anyway#going to become a little more casual and just have fun without getting upset lol lol#oh but spoilers for bsd anime and the jjk leaks for chapter: kind of funny how these both came out#and I have VERY similar but different issues w them#and. I guess csm manga spoilers: I was spoiled on Quanxi coming back so that’s good ig. still waiting for chapters to stack until I read#the stuff wfumiko was :| so I’m not in the mood to read yet. i feel bad quanxi doesn’t have her gfs
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
🌈Inner Steel
#do you ever just listen to inner steel and cry?#because i do#sally just really connected with me and something about her hit home#im not even sure why because my life isn't very similar to her situation at all#but i just saw her and felt seen in return#idk#the benefit of grief is absolutely beautiful#i wish we had a little more time to get into zane's poor coping mechanisms but im also so glad they devoted the proper amount of time to#sally#god this song is so good#some songs take a few listens for me to become obsessed but not this one#i literally heard a few lines on sally's radio and knew it was going to take over my brain#Ninjago is just amazing#it's not always perfect but its so full of heart and love and passion that you can feel#it's so tangible in the characters and their relationships#and it's beautiful ❤️#am i getting too emotional over lego ninjas?#maybe#but im not about to stop#ninjago#lego ninjago
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
writing down some notes for bellum traits/speculative biology/whatever so here's a couple so far
he's cold blooded but can't die due to extreme temperatures, it just makes it harder for him to function.
amphibious in the sense that he can survive in both water and air, though he doesn't really need to breathe, if anything he mostly interacts with water and air through traversal differences.
he does move like a squid, he can just float around but to move faster he does need to move his tentacles for slight propulsion and steering, and does intake and jet out water or air for some extra speed. he is not literally a squid creature but he is very similar.
he's got little barbs on the undersides of his tentacles (similar to the texture of a cat's tongue) which help with grabbing onto and holding things.
he can pull his main eye down into his body if he wants to use his mouth as... a mouth, or when he creates those little goop things or otherwise to spit out that purple substance.
#salty talks#bellum#speculative biology might be too lofty or. deep? a term for this i just wanna figure out what's going on with him yknow#like im not trying to be scientific or anything with this this is like. a personal passion project kinda thing not an assignment#but i lean a little into scientific terminology when it gets weird or awkward to me so whatever#idk if i'll share images or w/e of the final doc or just leave it to be expressed through fics#bc essentially these are notes ofr things that i want to show in fics (primarily the bellum x linebeck one. i need a fucking name for it)#also i like bellum and think hes a funny shape#constantly thinking abt that beak thing he has that seemingly never does anything but if you remember it#in context of him possessing linebeck and how he goes about doing that its like. oh. ...oh#its never addressed in any form but i wonder how the people who like animated that scene and stuff personally thought of it#in general i wonder how the pople who made ph felt abt bellum what ideas did they have that they never got around to sharing yknow#im not gonna act like it'd be a treasure trove he's a very nothing villain but i wonder if there were some sparse opinions and ideas abt hi#anyways DO YOU EVER THINK ABOUT THAT. BELLUMS BEAK THING. AND SPECIFICALLY HOW HE ATTACHES ONTO LINEBECK. HUH. HUH.#anyways i dont think bellum is like a squid creature if anything he's more just like some amalgamation of cephalopods as a demon#which is funny bc i am using a lot of irl squid characteristics to inform a lot of this stuff#its like half no hes not a squid he's a demon and half no hes not a squid he doesnt line up with them enough#i can see him as like a monstrous bastardization of a squid but nah hes not a squid hes just squidlike i think#im not too deep into my notes but im not sure how much i'll need considering the god/demon/magical being side of him yknow#i'll do what i need for my purposes#you can probably maybe see me getting awkward with some terminology with the last one but maybe thats just me feeling it lol#this is like half speculative stuff and half just headcanon yknow but whatever we got stuff here
1 note
·
View note
Text
im. 💖
#having. a good night#i’m gonna. crash but. having. good converstions#feeling warm and fuzzy and comfortable#im.#i feel silly but im like. im falling in love i thinkkjjjjjjjjjj its great its wonderful#i have not felt this good and this pretty in a long time like im just. life is swell#im . tired and i know im doing the classic puppy love just. head over heels stuff thats known for in new and passionate relationships but it#feels so good and i like him so much and i just feel. real#i feel seen and understood and . loved its. huh its. yeah#but brain real fuzzy and warm. im just. i found someone so. just. so perfect for me its like. im :)#he treats me. really well and he’s so amazing and so fucking insanely talented at art and animation and im likeeee all dizzy and feeling#just . safe and comfortable like. i just feel. safe and its. not something i feel a lot#and like. its funny bc like theres a few irls who follow here who know both him and me and its like. haha you guys get the inside scoop on#just how infatuated we are with eachother like. surprise . but yknow.#its like. hhh. its just. im just. its nice#like. we all know im well aware that im pretty as it is but he just makes me feel. so pretty like just. gorgeous#and i mean he’s like . woah. like i know you guys dont know what he looks like besides my paintings but the paintings do not do him justice!#he’s got this like. great smile and he’s always laughing and giggling and this really pretty long hair i love and its like… 💖💖💖#like. he’s. very my type. i have a weakness for pretty guys and he’s just. so prettyyyyy and im :)#im sorry to my irls who see me just. gushing about him like. idk. im not sure if anyone saw it coming but i think it. makes sense. it makes#a lot of sense. and we’re. cute together. got that. opposing aesthetics stuff. but it’s. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa#im just. oh i think im talking until the tags run out now i think so uh huh#yeah it’s . embarassing honestly to be. this into someone but it just. feels. good and natural and it makes sense like i said#i just. hm . im both so nervous around him and not nervous at all its. nice#and like. i just want to. be with him all of the time ever and it’s. probably whats gonna happen next semester#im just totally infatuated and he is. with me as well and it’s. really cool to be just. mutually losing it#like half of our calls involve us hiding our heads in our hands because its real nervous boy4nervous boy shit like. very much so#i often have to put my phone down and just. close my eyes and lie in the dark and go. oh my god oh my god oh my god#its just surreal to like someone so hard for so long and then a month after classes end and it’s real. its normal its happening
31 notes
·
View notes
Text
in omnia paratus
Spencer Reid x fem!reader
Summary: Spencer's been on the fence with his feelings for you. Due to his past traumas he’s decided to keep his feelings hidden. Until you’re caught in a dangerous situation at work
WC: 3.5 k
A/N: I am SO SORRY this took so long. I’ve been sitting on this for two months because I was being a perfectionist and had writer's block. Thank you so much to the person who requested this idea and I hope ya’ll like it! beta read by @whats-yesterday00
Tags: Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Fluff, Protective!spencer, Friends to lovers, age gap (25 and idk 33 or 34), during season 9 (sadly no post prison Reid, I refuse to watch the show after Derek & Hotch leave), Maeve is implied
Warnings!: mentions of murder, stalking, gunshot wounds, hostage situation and incorrect info about hostage situation cause Idk I'm not in the FBI
Everyone knew Spencer Reid had a soft spot for you. Well, everyone except for you.
Since the moment you met you’ve been on his mind.
“Do you know how old she is?”
“No, how old is she?”
“25!” Penelope squeaked before being shushed by Rossi.
“Wow, she’s gotta be the youngest person to ever be in the BAU. Well, second to genius over here,” JJ commented while pointing to Reid.
“That’s if she gets the job,” Morgan added.
They were all crowded around the desks in front of Hotch’s office. The blinds were cracked and they could just barely make out the woman seated across from their boss for an interview.
Due to the increase in caseload after Alex joined, Hotch made the request to add an additional member of the team. After interviewing a few people that didn’t pan out, he heard quite a bit about you from your supervisor saying how well you’ve done with the FBI and you’d be an exceptional fit for the team.
Then of course Penelope looked up everyone who was interviewing with Hotch. You being her most recent victim.
“How long has she been with the FBI?” Alex questioned.
“Three years,” Penelope answered
“What? Did she join right after college?”
“Not right away. She graduated early and got experience with law enforcement first.”
Spencer sat at his desk quietly while everyone was peering into Hotch’s office. Not to say he wasn’t nosy as well. You were already behind the blinds when he arrived for work.
“Oh they’re shaking hands! That has to be a good sign,” Penelope cheered.
Morgan turned to the window, “It’s definitely not a bad one.”
Her eyes widened before loudly whispering, “Oh no they’re leaving. Disperse.”
She scurried off in her heels towards Derek’s desk while he followed behind with a grin. JJ, and Rossi averted their eyes from Hotch’s office and found Alex’s desk far more interesting.
All while Spencer’s attention was brought to the woman led down the stairs by his boss. It felt like his heart stopped beating when he saw how beautiful you were. He was brought back to earth as Hotch introduced you to the rest of the team.
“This is Dr. Spencer Reid,” he gestured to the man sitting at his desk.
You offered him a small wave and a kind smile, “Nice to meet you.”
It became quite obvious you two would get along very well. From very early on conversation flowed incredibly well between the two of you. There were very few people that he felt were easy to talk to because of his niche interests and the way he would ramble spitting facts left and right.
But he never had to worry about saying the wrong thing or talking too much with you. You often were a content listener or you would even match his passion on certain subjects. Most were topics Spencer already knew about.
When you first met Spencer you didn’t know the Dr in his name meant he held 3 PhD’s or that he was quite literally a genius.
So you were often telling stories or facts you found interesting that he already knew. In fact, almost every “fun fact” you brought up, he knew about already.
But he never interrupted you. He always was listening intently to what you had to say. Like he was hearing about it for the first time.
At some point you learned of his eidetic memory and how vast his knowledge was. It was during a case where you found out and mentioned it to him.
“Reid, remember when we were at the harbor and I mentioned that thing about sharks?” You hesitated, “did you know that already?”
“Yes,” he guiltily admitted.
You partially deflated suddenly feeling that the whole tangent you went on was pointless. “Why did you let me go on and on if you already knew?”
His eyes softened, “because I wanted to hear you talk about it.”
That was when his feelings started to peek through. As the months went on it only grew and grew. And you were none the wiser.
To the average person, it might not seem like much. Perhaps you were just good friends. But to a team of profilers (and best friends) it was painfully obvious.
It was almost painful the way he looked at you with a longing in his eyes. Or when his gaze immediately turned to you to catch your reaction or smile.
It was obvious by the way he found any excuse to bring you up in conversation. Or how in conversation with you he would mirror your mannerisms and lean closer to you.
As well as the things he remembered about you or the little things he did for you. Like the countless coffee cups he bought for you from his favorite coffee shop before work. And when he saw you struggling to find something or open something he was always right there to help.
Spencer Reid had feelings for you. Feelings so deep that he couldn’t pull the roots out even if he tried.
He didn’t know what to do with his feelings exactly. He hadn’t felt this strongly for someone since … well for a while. He was terrified of history repeating itself.
He couldn't lose you. He’d seen first hand what this job did to him, what it did to Hotch. Their loved ones ripped away from them too soon.
So for now at least, he kept his feelings to himself.
Well, until your last case.
The BAU was called in on a case that just turned serial. They found the unsub to be a man named Mark, who started killing because his girlfriend cheated on him. The first two victims reminded him of the man she cheated with. When that didn’t satisfy him, he hunted down and killed the other man.
Now the team and SWAT was stationed outside a bus that Mark was holding hostage. He stalked his ex-girlfriend and tracked down the new city bus she took.
The officers couldn’t get a clear shot of him because of where he was standing and he kept using the passengers as shields. Rossi was currently on the phone with him trying to make negotiation terms and get some of the people off the bus. Mark however was incredibly stubborn and didn’t want to let his leverage go.
So Rossi asked about the children on the bus and if Mark would be willing to let them off. They were met with silence on the other end of the phone, contrary to his previous behavior where he loved to hear himself talk.
After a short pause the phone spoke. “I’ll only send out the kids if you send in an agent.”
Rossi shifted his weight and crossed his arms. “Are there any other circumstances you’re willing to send out the children for?” he asked.
“Nope,” he said with a pop at the end of the word.
A look of concern was quickly exchanged between Rossi and Hotch. While their faces didn’t reveal much, their eyes spoke volumes.
“How about this,” the unsub continued. “I’ll send out their moms too.”
Rossi’s eyebrows furrowed slightly at the eagerness to comply from the criminal. “You’ll send out the children and their mothers if we send in one of our agents?”
“I promise.”
Rossi returned his eyes to Hotch who stood rigid and tall with his arms folded. He was met with an approving nod before returning to the call.
“Alright, we can agree to those terms.”
“Oh and agent Rossi?” Mark perked.
“Yes?”
“Send in a girl.”
There was a tension that quietly branched out between the agents listening to the phone call.
“Why do you want a woman?” Rossi asked, clearly changing the dialogue used.
“I’m losing too many ladies sending out these moms. I want one back,” he replied with a cockiness to his voice.
Ross confirmed they could send in a female agent. Almost immediately after the unsub hung up, you volunteered to be the agent going on the bus.
“I’ll do it.”
Spencer’s head shot in your direction. “No you're not.” His voice was laced with concern and a hint of demand.
“Reid-”
“He specifically asked for a woman. We don’t know what he’s planning, he’s devolving.”
“And I’m willing to take that risk to make sure those kids are safe,” You defended yourself.
You turned to your boss waiting for his thoughts. Hotch knew you’d been exposed to enough high tension scenarios to know what you were doing. But just like any member of his team, he silently hesitated, worrying for your safety.
He took a breath before meeting your eyes again. “Send her in.”
Right before you were led to the bus, Hotch took off the holster on his ankle and handed it to you. “Some extra protection in case something happens.” You couldn’t hear the concern in his voice, but you saw it clear as day in his eyes.
You made your way to the bus and saw through the window Mark holding a gun to the driver and telling him to open the door. You stepped on and the doors closed quickly behind you. The unsub took a long look at you, panning up and down.
“Well how about that. Aren’t you a beauty? He said with a cheeky grin.
You tried your hardest not to look disgusted with him. Instead you kept your composure and spoke with courage and a confident demeanor.
“You this flirty with all your hostages?” you asked plainly.
As he gazed down at your legs his eyebrows furrowed and lips pursed. He bent down and with the gun in his hand, pushed away the bottom of your pants leg. When he saw the gun in the holster, he tsked.
“You always carry this much dead weight on you?”
He stood back up and put his hand out, “hand it over, I told them no weapons.”
You reluctantly took off Hotch’s holster and placed it in the unsubs hand. Your one line of defense was gone.
The longer you were on the bus, the more anxious Spencer got. He knew you were an exceptional profiler, and you had enough experience and skill to handle yourself in situations like this.
But that couldn’t stop the ache in his stomach or the fact that his heart rate could power a car by now.
He stood closer to the bus now to get a clearer view of the windows. They managed to successfully get the children and moms off and to safety, but you weren’t safe. Spencer figured you were trying to negotiate with the unsub, but that was going nowhere. This was confirmed when Rossi tried calling him again but every call was ignored.
This unsub was stubborn as hell. He knows he trapped himself, but didn’t want to back down. At least he didn’t want to go quietly.
Spencer was talking with the rest of the team trying to devise a plan when the gunshots were fired. The team immediately ran back to the cacophony on the bus.
More shots were fired, he didn’t know where from. He didn’t care.
He just needed to get to you.
When he got a decent view through one of the windows that hadn’t shattered he saw you. Your hand over arm in pain but still standing in front of the civilians to protect them. The unsub stalking over to you, gun in hand and smacking you over the head with it. You slammed against the chairs and fell to the floor.
Spencer's face paled. He swore he was going to throw up.
Through the fog of his mind Spencer saw Morgan escorting Mark off the bus, his hands now behind his back in cuffs.
He rushed past them, clambering through the door and up the stairs to get to you, calling your name.
“Reid?” he heard your small tired voice through the crowd.
He followed it to you, laying on the ground struggling to open your eyes and clutching your left arm.
He crouched down to your level with a gentle hand on your uninjured arm.
“Hey, I’m here. I’m right here,” he comforted.
“My head hurts,” you mumbled.
His eyes softened, “I know. I think you might have a concussion, you need to go to the hospital.”
You slowly started to fade out of consciousness. Spencer’s heart dropped and his hand moved from your arm to your face.
“No no no no stay with me okay?” he caressed your cheek with his thumb.
“Stay with me sweetheart,” he consoled.
Your eyes stopped struggling to stay open and finally made their close. His other hand rushed to your pulse point as he called for a medic.
Time seemed to stand still while Spencer sat next to your hospital bed waiting for you to wake up. He couldn’t leave your side. He didn’t want to.
You were okay. You were laying in the bed in front of him. But of course in his mind he ran through all the possible scenarios of how things could’ve gone worse, how things could’ve gone better. What would’ve happened if you didn’t have your gun taken away, or if the unsub got angry that you tried to bring a gun in. What if he didn’t lose his cool and start firing. What if you never went inside in the first place.
And with all of those possible scenarios, the same thought plagued him.
He was wrong.
Before he was too scarred from past traumas to reveal just how much you meant to him. Not wanting to repeat the past and lose yet another person he loved cared for.
But now, after seeing you in danger right in front of him, now he was terrified at the thought of you never knowing. He was now more scared you would never know how much he loved the way your nose crinkled when you smiled. How he thought the sound of your voice could cure any ailment he had. How he admired your strength and desire to protect others. How you could light up anyone's mood by just being you. How he could listen to you for hours, even if you were lecturing him on things he’d known like the back of his hand.
To him it was a whole new experience hearing it from you.
Spencer was pulled from his thoughts as you stirred awake. He saw your eyes adjust to the bright fluorescent lights ahead. He quickly got up to dim the lights for you.
When he returned to his seat you smiled at him, “hi.”
“Hi,” he smiled back.
“How are you feeling?”
You sighed. “Like shit,” you complained with a hint of humor.
“The doctor said you have a minor head injury, bruised ribs, and the shot to your arm thankfully didn’t break any bones.”
“Fun,” you said sarcastically.
A moment of silence passes between you two. He doesn’t exactly know what to say. How do you casually tell your friend and coworker you have a crush on them?
There is no casual way.
“You called me sweetheart,” you broke the silence.
He furrowed his eyebrows, “What?”
You fidget with the blanket, “earlier, when I passed out on the bus. You called me sweetheart.”
He searches his mind for the memories of the day. When he finds the memory he realizes in the heat of the moment the term of endearment slipped out.
He wasn’t aware you heard it.
“I did,” he confirmed as his ears flushed.
“Why?” you asked curiously.
He didn’t know how to tell you that he’s wanted to call you that for weeks now. So instead he settled with-
“It just … felt right.”
“Oh,” you replied quietly.
Spencer tensed up at your response.
“If I crossed the line-“
“No. Of course not,” you interrupted with a comforting voice.
The corners of your mouth lifted and cheeks dusted pink. “I thought it was sweet. You don’t normally say stuff like that.”
His heart warmed at your confession and a smile spread on his face.
“You thought me calling you sweetheart was sweet?” he lightly teased.
“Shut up,” you chuckled, rolling your eyes. “You know what I mean.”
Your laughter was cut short by a sharp pain in your abdomen. You bit down on your lip and gripped the side of the bed in pain.
The reality that you were injured on the job was rushing back to him.
He licked his lips, his nervous unconscious habit.
“I was really worried about you.”
“I know.”
“No, you don’t,” he interjected.
“The entire time you were on that bus I was sick to my stomach. Terrified that something bad was gonna happen and it did,” he started to ramble.
You leaned closer to him. ”But I’m okay Reid.”
“You still got hurt. He shot you for christ sake!” his voice raising in pitch and volume.
“Reid-”
“He lashed out at you! You could’ve died!”
“Spencer,” you said firmly, pulling his attention towards you.
He never heard you say his name before. No matter how many times he said you could call him Spencer, you still called him Reid. Hearing his name fall from your lips was like the consistency of honey.
You placed your hands on his face caressing his cheek. His golden eyes meet yours.
“I’m alright. I’m still here,” you consoled.
“But if-“
“Spencer.”
“Please,” he pleaded. “It’s important.”
You nodded your head, signaling for him to continue. He gently grabbed your wrists and brought your hands in his. He took a deep breath before he decided to spill the thing that had been eating away at his heart.
“I have feelings for you. I have for a long time. Almost as long as you’ve been at the BAU,” he started.
With your hands in his he started tracing his thumb over your knuckles.
“If we don’t have work I count down the days until I can see you again. When I do see you I desperately want to see you smile, see you happy. And if I’m the one that causes that smile, it makes my whole day. That’s why I never interrupted when you talked about something I already knew. The way your face lit up when you talked with such passion was the highlight of my day.”
“For months I was scared of my feelings and I kept them to myself. I was too scared to admit how much I liked you because I-” his hold on your hands tightened.
“I know what it feels like to lose someone. This job takes so much from us; I never wanted it to take you.”
Spencer let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding in.
“Today I realized it would be more painful if I went the rest of my life not telling you, than having even a fraction of a moment with you.”
A moment of silence danced between you two. Your head reeling from his confession, heart beating so hard you could feel it in your bones. Your palms sweaty from holding onto Spencers, but still neither of you let go.
The silence was deafening, plaguing him.
“Please … say something,” he begged.
Your lash line was collecting tears that you simultaneously tried blinking away. Your eyes found his tie less intimidating than his gaze.
“I never thought you would like me back,” you said with a soft tone.
Spencer's cheeks turned red as his heart started melting. “I do.”
You brought your eyes back to his. That precious smile on his face was infectious.
“Listen,” you squeezed his hands. “I’m not going anywhere. So you have as much time with me as you want.”
Spencer's eyes softened at your words. He raised your hands and placed a loving kiss on your knuckles.
The two of you were too lost in eachother to notice the footsteps towards the room.
“Hey, I found some Jello for her if she-” Alex abruptly stopped once she noticed what she walked into.
You both awkwardly pulled your hands away from each other; you fiddling with the hospital blanket, him rubbing his palms on his slacks.
“So, feeling better?” she asked hesitantly.
“Much,” you answered, still a bit flustered.
“Good, good to hear,” She tried not to sound too smug, but the small smile on her face said otherwise.
She raised and shook the jello container in her hand.
“I’m gonna leave this here,” she placed it on the table. “I’ll be back in a bit.”
“Thanks Blake,” you thanked as she left.
Once she was gone you quietly giggled and mumbled “oh my god,” under your breath.
“You know, she kept teasing me asking when I was going to ask you out. And don’t even get me started on Morgan,” he chuckled, shaking his head.
Your jaw dropped and eyes furrowed. “Did everyone else know but me?”
He pressed his lips in a thin line, “pretty much.”
“I must be a shitty profiler,” you half joked.
“Absolutely not,” he said in the most comforting voice. He brushed the hair that had fallen in front of your face behind your ear.
“You’re an amazing profiler.”
You smiled that smile he loved so much. The one where you couldn’t hide your joy and your nose crinkled.
“So, how do you think you’ll spend all those moments with me?” you inquired with a bit of a teasing tone.
“Doing anything sweetheart,” he answered seriously. He looked at you with awe written all over your face. “I'm ready for anything with you.”
“in omnia paratus” - ready for anything
Tag asks: @adrienneleclerc @ladybirdbeetle7
#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid headcanon#spencer reid#spencer reid fanfiction#criminal minds#criminal minds fanfic#spencer reid imagine#spencer reid one shot#spencer reid x you#criminal minds fanfiction#spencer reid fluff#spencer reid angst
3K notes
·
View notes
Text
once again impressed at just how quickly a new piece of media can take over my waking hours
#so the ppl were right...hannibal really is brain chemistry altering. in fact its scary how powerful it is#ive read through..;;;all the wikipedia pages for all 36 episodes in an evening instead of doing anything productive#before i realized it. the whole afternoon was gone. fuck#no regrets (will have many regrets come tomorrow morning)#ok but back to the topic at hand. all wikipedia articles. several other character wiki pages#SEVERAL SEVERAL VERY VERY VERY WELL WRITTEN TUMBLR ANALYSES ON THE SHOW#a good few made me have to put my phone down punch my bed a few times then walk several circles around my room flailing my arms about#bc of the shivers they gave me#god some of u ppl out there are so cool so incredibly skilled with an eye for these things#also went down deep dives on youtube for interviews.. the actors breaking down their characters. fan made compilations#again im particularly a big fan of the video compiling nearly every single cannibal pun made in the show#i feel like a new person again. a persona 3 obsession followed right after by this?!?!?!!!! ive never felt as alive as#when theres a piece of media that consumes all my thoughts. every minute im awake. nothing except the world and the story and the characters#and just how fucking incredible these pieces of media are at weaving the theme so deeply into every fibre of the series#actuslly if i try very hard. ims ure i csn find similarities between persona and hannibal that appealed to me#lately persona 3 has still got an iron grip on me. but that grip has been strengthened furthermore by persona 4 and 5....;;; truly this#this may be the end for me I JUST WANNA SPEND MT DAYS CURLED UP IN MY ROOM OBSESSING OVER THESE THINGS#no stress coming from school or job searching or money or social obligations or just. idk being a person is hard sometimes#passion is so important. like actuslly im going to start crying its so good to be passionate about something#ppl who are passionate about their stuff their thing their knowledge are so cool#im tired now and am going to sleep maybe. after rbing a few more things i keep seeing that cause thst little jolt of#excitement happiness goosebumps and shivers and i need to save tjem for times when it feels i have no passion left to absorb from the world#rambling about stuff
1 note
·
View note