#idk how to tag this to get people to see it lmao

[acerathia]

embracing you (in sin) || Caleb | Xia Yi Zhou

Summary:

You have loved Caleb since you could remember. And you're sure he feels the same. Yet, he never approached you the way you want, need him to. So, you can't help but resort to something special so he can finally give in.

Wordcount: 3.7k

Read on AO3

Pairing:

Caleb | Xia Yi Zhou / f!Reader | MC

Tags/CW:

Minors and Ageless Blogs DNI!! pwp, dub/noncon, aphrosidiacs/drugging him, pseudo-incest, nipple play, handjob, thigh riding, consuming each other as a love language idk, guided masturbation (with his bionic arm o7), piv, reader riding him, freak4freak, delusional reader, but lowkey, they're right djfdsklfjs

Note:

passed out after seeing his myth and found this LMAO anyway

There’s something about Skyhaven, something looming over your head, even with sunshine raining on your skin. Something that makes your bones shiver with the underlying current. It’s quite different than Linkon City, but you don’t mind, you would gladly let this feeling blanket you, soaking in it until you’re part of this place.

Especially with today’s plans. A date with Caleb. Well, technically it isn’t a date per se, but more of an outing together. But you had your own plans, keen on pushing him to the edge until he finally accepts that this is a date. All that talk about keeping you safe by his side, yet he hesitates to properly name what’s going on between you, almost like there’s something stopping him. And you’re going to get rid of his hesitancy, in one way or another.

With a light skip in your steps, you make your way towards the rendezvous point. This is supposed to be a light lunch, a get-together between your busy, colliding schedules. And your heart is pounding in your chest, excited to finally see him again, to be able to gaze into his amethyst-like eyes, filled with softness only towards you, to tickle a mischievous grin out of him, one reminiscent of your shared childhood.

Of course, Caleb has insisted on making the food himself, instead of going to some place and having you eat someone else’s food and risk liking it more than you do his. Just the thought of telling him the achievements of someone else makes your tummy clench, imagining the furrow of his brows as he looks at you, disbelief and some sort of angry jealousy tinting his gaze. And the way he would grasp at words to get you to think about him and only him. In a way, you would make him think only of you, more intensely than he already does, and you keep acting like you don’t realize his feelings, like it’s not obvious how much he wants to trap you with him, to chain you to his life, forever. But you do know, and as much as you would love to be kept and pampered by him, you enjoy his reactions much more.

Nevertheless, even with his desire towards you so obvious, he has yet to lay a single finger on you. All this time, he gets closer and closer, but never close enough. Your provocations not enough to get him to snap. So, you will take matters into your own hands.

A smile on your lips, you watch as he opens the door before you could even raise your hand to knock. Of course, Caleb knows where you are and what you’re doing at all times, he surely would know when you would arrive at his doorsteps.

“Well, look who’s here, if that’s not my favorite girl,” he smiles and cocks his head as he closes the door behind you.

You furrow your eyebrows. “The concept of you having a favorite girl implies you know others, how could you do this to me. You, my dear brother of all people,” you huff and cross your arms.

A chuckle. “There’s no need to worry, I’ve got only eyes on you, my good girl,” he comes up to you and raises his hand to ruffle your hair.

You let him, even if usually you would either dodge or swat his hand away. This time, though, all you do is look up to him through your eyelashes, keeping the pout on your face to show your dissatisfaction. Even if you’re not truly dissatisfied, rather, you wouldn’t mind having his hands all over you.

After he has taken his fill, he motions you to follow him to the kitchen, food already spread all over the table.

“You’ve arrived earlier than expected, so I couldn’t finish everything in time. Do you wanna lend me a hand?” he asks, his back turned towards you as he grabs a knife to finish cutting an apple.

Affirmation resounds from your throat, because you couldn’t ensure that he wouldn’t be able to hear the suppressed grin breaking over your face. That’s a lie. He lied to you. Caleb knew exactly when you would arrive, how else did he open the door just in time. It seems he doesn’t know that you’re aware of his behaviour, and simply orchestrated this situation to simulate some domesticity between you, like you’re sharing a home, again.

But you see your chance and you grab it by the throat. With a couple steps you open the fridge to take out his favorite drink, grabbing two glasses from the cabinet and slowly filling them with the liquid. His has a little less, because you pull out a little glass vial out of your shirt, hidden underneath the layers. Careful to not cause any big, sudden splashes, you pour the content of the vial into his glass. And as fast as you had pulled it out, you put it back into its hiding spot.

Your own glass in your hand, you raise it to your mouth and take a sip, seeing the little lipstick stain as you straighten it out. That way, there’s no possibility of mixing the drinks together. With a little hum and both glasses in your hands, you place them each on one side, one designated for him, and one for you. He likes having an advantage in his position, so he has insisted on staying in the same spot. And you let him, even if you did put up a front, telling him that you’re strong enough to fend for yourself.

It doesn’t take long until everything is set and you take a seat across him.

“Everything just for you, dig in,” Caleb tells you with a smile, and you smile back with a thanks and take the cutlery to begin your meal.

While you enjoy the food he has prepared, just to your taste to the point, you carefully watch him, feeling a tingle of excitement every time he sips from the prepared drink. The dose was pretty high, considering that he might have developed some resistance due to his military training, but it still should be enough to subdue and subjugate him.

The meal is filled with the little joys of being in each other's presence, teasing and laughing, reminiscing. You notice that his usually precise moves begin to be sloppy ever so slightly. So, you rest your head in your palm, batting your eyelashes while furrowing your eyebrows, letting worry tint your voice.

“Ah, brother dearest, you seem tired, maybe you should lay down for a bit while I do the dishes,” you suggest. There’s some hesitancy at this, so you add, “I will take good care of you after I’m done, I promise.”

These words seem to have their own allure, as he immediately sighs, pressing his fingers against his temple. “Maybe you’re right…”

“Of course, I am, have I ever said anything wrong, ever?” At this, Caleb just gives you a look and you grin with a giggle.

Standing up, you begin to collect the dishes, watching him slightly stumble as he tries to get to his room. You will take your time with cleaning the kitchen, as you want to make sure that the effects have truly kicked in. And how could you truly enjoy yourself if the place is a mess anyway.

After some time, you dry your hands on a towel, listening to the noises in the apartment. And then you spot it, panting, drowned out by the walls and something else.

A grin spreads over your face and you walk to his room, opening the door without knocking. The first sight is an exciting one: Caleb spread over his bed, flushed, trying to get more and more layers of clothes off, but his body barely listens to him, lethargic and trembling, a bulge visible in his pants, hazy eyes looking at you as you come closer.

With a coo, you sit on the edge of the bed, caressing his face with your fingertips, and this touch alone is enough to make him tremble and grunt.

“My beloved brother, are you in pain? Do you want me to relieve you? Let your sister take care of you, like we used to…” you smile and press a kiss to his forehead.

You don’t wait for an answer before you press your lips to his, carefully at first, nothing more than a peck. Yet, that’s enough to send a thrill through your body. This is what you have always wanted, intimacy and love, touches and more. You wouldn’t have to go through all that, if he just relented, if he just gave in to your shared desire, but no, you had to take it this way.

Your eyes meet his and he only stares back, desire and love and confusion swirling through them. You take his jaw in your hands, murmuring against his lips.

“This is for both of us.”

Once again you kiss him, but this time, you get him to open his mouth, just for you, and you push your tongue against his, exploring him, touching him in ways you could have only imagined, in ways that most wouldn’t even dream of.

He moans against your mouth and his hips rut into nothing. Noticing that, you let off of him, feeling heat rushing through you as a string of saliva connects you.

“Oh, do you need more?” you ask, climbing onto the bed to get rid of his clothes, to expose his desire for you; to see.

Considering that he already did half the work in his daze to cool down, it was easy to peel his shirt off of Caleb. His skin underneath already sticky with sweat and with nothing but lust leading you, you sink your mouth into him. Lips traveling over the column of his throat, over his collarbones, sinking teeth at every sweet spot, tasting him on your tongue as you lap over his skin.

Slowly, you work yourself lower, marking him in a way a sibling would not, bruises and indents. Your hips end up straddling his thigh, pure muscle and such a good fit, pressing into your core the way you want. Meanwhile, your mouth has found his nipple, tongue lapping over it, sucking on it, feeling the way Caleb tenses under your ministrations. Especially as your hand caresses his other pec, drawing faint circles over his nipple, only to pinch and twist, earning yourself a low groan and a twitch against your lower body.

You completely forgot to take his pants off in your daze to get a taste, but that should not be a hindrance, not at all. Rather, you let your free hand wander over his abs, his v-line, carefully mapping everything and noting his most sensitive spots. Until your fingertips meet his waistband, only to dive underneath it, caressing his pelvis and then over his whole length, featherlight, discovering a wet spot spread over his briefs.

The realization how well-endowed he is makes you clench, and you pant, slowly grinding your clit against his thigh. Carefully, you rub your thumb against his tip, spreading precum all over it.

“You want me as much as I want you, don’t you, brother?” you pant, nuzzling his chest, feeling the vibrations of his groans.

The effects must be pretty good if he’s in such a daze, not even coherent thoughts can escape his lips.

A hum, as you continue to caress and take care of his chest, licking and biting, as your hand takes him, barely able to grasp him properly. With soft pumps, you take on a slow pace, taking your time, feeling him react, feeling his desire and lust towards you. Each time you move, you can’t help but grind your core against his thigh at the same pace, growing needier and needier, whimpering his name. The more you want, the faster your motions grow.

His lower body tenses with each jerk of your wrist, with each press against his tip, and all he can do is grab at the bedsheets, unable to control his body enough to truly touch you, to get some sort of control over this situation. All he can do is murmur your name like a prayer, like a confession of his sins born out of love.

Your hips rut against his tensed muscle, faster and faster, hitting that sweet spot, your clit throbbing with want, imagining his length moving against your folds instead of the cloth between your bodies. How warm he would feel, how great. Just the image of him filling you, taking you, desiring you makes you clench around nothing, tensing more and more. Leading to you putting more pressure, more pace into your movements, almost begging him to come.

“Ah, brother, please, show me how much you love me,” you moan, and you feel him twitch at your words, and as you’re grasping at everything you can get, you repeat your words. “Love me, love me, love me, only me.”

This with the added touches against his sensitive tip, seems to get Caleb, as he unravels underneath you, spilling uncontrollably over your hand. And the feeling of him cumming against your skin, pushes you over the edge, and you moan his name as you climax.

With heavy pants, you pull your hand out of his clothes, bringing it to your mouth, making eye contact with him as you slowly lick his cum off of you, showing him the way he coats you, marking you in a way, showing him as you consume a part of him, a keepsake just for you.

After you have licked yourself clean, you hurry to take the rest of your clothes and his off, you don’t want anything between you anymore, and the cloth is just in the way. With his sluggish body, it took you some time to properly get rid of his pants and briefs, but the sight is absolutely worth it. His thick thighs tense, his cock heavy and needy, his shoulders and neck flushed. His chest raising and falling in heavy pants. You can’t help but nuzzle his thigh and give his shaft a small kiss.

“How lovely, is this all for me?” you murmur, before climbing on top of him once again, straddling his hips just in position to barely miss each other.

You have done that, because as much as you desire each other, you still wanted to try something. And to do that, you grab his right hand, carefully, detangling his fingers from the bedsheets to interlock with yours. A kiss on knuckles.

“I can’t believe they would do that to you, how are you supposed to feel your sister now?”

Stretching his fingers, the ones looking so human, yet entirely fabricated, unfeeling, you kiss their pads. They feel entirely human to your touch, yet must be foreign to him, a phantom, moving and receiving, but never feeling. You tongue licks at his ring finger, watching as he frowns, as the reaction fails to appear.

You sigh. “What a shame… But I suppose, I can let you choose, hm? This is for your enjoyment, too, after all. Left or right?”

His right arm twitches and you blink in surprise. “Oh, really? I would have expected you to choose the other one, hm… alright, I suppose I can indulge you with your silly antics, how usual of you.”

Carefully, you wrap your hand around his bigger one in a way which allows you to control its movements pretty well. Like this, you lead his hand over your throat, letting one finger rest against your pulse, fingers moving ever so slightly. With as much control as you get, you let his fingers caress your collarbone, traveling towards the peak of your chest. There, you let his fingertips rest against your nipple and you feel his muscles twitch, as if he’s trying to touch you more, to please you more, to feel you in any capacity he can. So, you press his pads against the hardened nub, shivering at the way he squeezes your chest.

Continuing, his palm reaches your lower tummy, his whole hand almost reaching from rib to rib, and imagining him holding you down with one hand as he does as he pleases, makes you clench, desire fueling you even more. Pressing his palm against your pelvis, you lean closer to him.

“Have you ever imagined how it might feel? Filling me to the brim? Completing each other in a way siblings should not want? Because I have, so many times…”

You lean your head back, rolling your eyes, your fantasies swarming your brain, and you’re so close to fulfilling them, one by one. But you cannot do this if you’re not looking at him, so you open your eyes to gaze at him, watching his throat bop, his brows furrowed as he tries to get a feel from the unrealness connected to him. Caleb doesn’t answer your question directly, but the way his hard length twitches against your backside, the way his lower body tenses underneath you, tell you enough.

One last motion, and his fingers are touching you, and using your own fingers as support, you use his to spread yourself open, just for him to see, letting his digits glide between your folds, pressing the pads against your needy clit, just the way you like it. Just the way you like it, but it’s almost like he’s the one pleasing you.

“Hm, learning this hands-on isn’t a bad idea, is it?”

His fingers circle your clit, at the right pace with the right pressure. And you almost forget it’s you who’s in charge of this, enjoying the feeling of his thick, yet elegant fingers touching you, filling you with warmth you’ve never felt before. Your wetness spreads all over him, dribbling down his hand, and the sight of you all over him, makes you dizzy, your hip grinding, begging for more. But you don’t want his fingers in you, not yet, your first time with him has to be him filling you with his length, pressing into you until you lose your breath. Just the anticipation, coupled with the way his thumb swipes over your clit, sends you over the edge and you cum, moaning his name, holding his fingers against yourself, letting him watch the way he can make you fall apart.

Pulling his hand from between your thighs, you watch the way it shines underneath the light, only to lead it to his mouth. “Want to have a little taste?”

His eyelids blink slowly, eyes dark with desire and lust, and you watch as his tongue laps you up, consuming you with the same ferocity you have consumed him; a vow, binding.

After making sure Caleb has gotten every bit he desired, you allowed him to grab you hip, taking his other hand onto the other side. His fingers immediately dig into your flesh, and you can’t help but moan. His strength is slowly coming back, but that’s okay, you still have enough time to finish what you have started, to stoke the flame into an ever-consuming blaze.

With a slight sway of your hips, his tip is grazing your folds, and just this touch sends electricity through your body. Whimpering, barely holding onto your patience, you let his whole length glide through your folds, pressing against your sensitive clit, and you might just cum from that alone, just the way he feels against you.

Heavy pants wrack your body, as you lead him to your entrance. And then he’s inside you. Stretching you to an impossible degree. You move your hips, grinding to get more and more of him into you. His groans mix with yours, and you can’t help but lean down to capture him in a kiss, one messy and needy and full of desire and lust. His tongue pushes against yours, his hips rutting into you and he swallows your moans greedily, like he wants to be only one to ever hear them.

Your fingers dig into his shoulders and you call out to him once he bottoms out in you, feeling him so deep in you, unlike anything you have ever experienced. A perfect fit.

And you can’t help but take your time, enjoy the fullness he gives you, the completeness, the warmth. Until you feel him twitch inside you, needy, and you begin to move your hips, raising them until he’s almost slipping out of you, only to let yourself sink on him once again, slowly, especially as he hits every spot inside of you. You love dragging your motions out, getting the most of it. But it seems, like Caleb doesn’t share that sentiment, as his hands begin to control you, pushing and pulling, speed picking up, until he takes over completely, your mind hazy with him, him, him.

Teeth dig into the soft skin between neck and shoulder, and you clench around him, hard, leading to him pushing himself deeper and deeper into you. And a moan of your name against your skin, his tongue caressing the indents, snaps the tension in you and you climax over him, tightening around him, digging your fingernails into his muscles, his name spilling over your lips like a prayer. All these reactions from you, seem to unravel him, as he spills in you, your insides warming over with his marks, with him. A part of him belongs to you now, forever, and nobody can take that away from you.

You slump against him, as you let him stay inside you, connected in a way no other can. His arms wrap around you, his lips move against your ear.

“You have to finish what you started, my good girl,” he rasps, eyes wandering all over you, thinking of all the ways he can take you now.

And you only smile at him, excitement bubbling between your ribs, as you have successfully broken down his walls. Caleb now desires you as much as you desire him, and you know that he will show you his love for you every possible chance he gets; for the rest of your lifetimes, together, bound by this unholy act of your feelings. Sins you embrace with joy, the same way you embrace him with love.

[danielnelsen]

while i’d love to read peoples reasonings for their answers, i’d ask that you don’t put your answer in the tags so that your followers aren’t influenced by your answer

i’ll try to edit this post with the answer shortly before the poll finishes so you can check when you get the poll complete notification!

reblogs appreciated! i want to get a feel for how people use/understand these terms

[inejqhafa]

the scene where anthony tells kate that he wants to go to India so that their child knows their history and that he does too is so important especially for brown girls who are so often told to focus on integrating into their new households and forget their family once they get married. it really shows how much he values all parts of kate’s identity and who she is beyond just being viscountess, a wife, a future mother, etc. and then kate’s reaction of being fully and completely overwhelmed because she could never have imagined that he would be the one to bring it up, let alone being there for the birth makes me so emotional 😭

[paper-possum-party-pal]

I’ve decided to draw a bunch of people’s Narrators starting with @betrootsoup’s Narrator!

Don’t mind my sona, they’re just a curious fella!

I’m a sucker for split faced designs and love the outfit that @betrootsoup chose for their Narrator! I really hope I did the design justice!

Closeups

And to everyone else out there, watch out!

Your Narrator’s might be next

[butterflysonnets]

yes i'm rooting for m*leven breakup because byler is neat but mostly? i'm rooting for m*leven breakup for the sake of el and mike.

to me, their romance was always a puppy love born out of a combination of social pressures, naïve curiosity, and a lack of true understanding regarding intimacy and romantic love and what it really is. it was real in that they do truly, deeply care about each other and they are close friends, maybe even shared an attraction, but a maturing romance is so much more than that. they've grown up and out of being boyfriend/girlfriend, and that's okay! i think television/film needs to show more often that most of us don't have definite "soulmates" or first childhood loves that we spend our whole lives with. it doesn't mean these relationships meant nothing and didn't impact us, it just means they've run their course and that something else is in the cards, and this is part of life!

i've always felt el was at her best and most confident self when broken up with mike, discovering who she was and what she liked alongside another girl her age instead of just relying on mike for mentorship on how to live in the real world. she deserves more of an opportunity to find herself, her autonomy, and her independence, and to love who she is, and she's made it clear she's felt insecure in the relationship with mike because she isn't being loved and understood the way she wants, needs, and deserves from someone who is her partner.

also, it's okay if mike doesn't love her in "the way he should". he is not obligated to love her romantically and stay in a relationship with her just because she's a girl, because she "needed someone", or because he cares about her a lot. he shouldn't be pressured into a romance if it's not truly coming from his heart. he deserves freedom to find out and honour who he is, too, instead of just staying in his non-functional first relationship — one he got into as a child, essentially — and defining himself that way because it's what's expected when a boy and a girl are close. he loves her in some way, yes, but it's okay if he doesn't feel comfortable or secure being her boyfriend anymore, for whatever reason that is. he's felt insecure too, and that's valid and it matters.

they are their own people and are steadily growing and changing every day. they need time to figure out who those people are, and it's become clear (at least in my opinion) that those people aren't meant to be a couple at this stage.

they deserve freedom. they deserve to grow up and be authentic to themselves and not feel like they need to lie for the sake of a relationship. they deserve to move on from this version of their relationship that isn't making them happy and rekindle the best part of their bond: their strong, beautiful friendship. they don't have to be a couple if it doesn't make them stronger and better and happier people.

i think it would be healthy and wonderful for a show, especially one consumed frequently by young adults, to show a relationship starting, progressing, and ending on good terms in this way. sometimes things don't work out, and that is okay.

[wundrousarts]

Something I’ve noticed for awhile is that I often get comments from people about how they are surprised how I always come up with theories and try to guess what might happen and they “could never do that” themselves. I want to say: yes you can! There’s honestly a shortage of Nevermoor theories and ideas and speculation and etc and I want to see MORE!!!

Want to talk about how Morrigan’s mom is actually secretly alive? How the Scholar Mistresses are a Wundrous Act? Do you think the Tempus Divinity looks like an owl, or do you think Weaving and Ruination would be met together? Or have you ever thought about how this one line, from Chapter 19 of Nevermoor, about Betram Crow actually means he was a Cursed Child? Whatever it is you want to talk about: GO FOR IT!!!

I personally find it very fun to go sort of “English class mode” and look at the text in front of me and think about what different things might mean and analyze it and even overthink it to an unnecessary (but fun!) amount. But that’s just me and how I like to approach things! You don’t need to make long posts and quote specific lines if that isn’t your style. The big thing to remember is that so much can happen in the next six books, so throw any idea out there! You never know what twists and turns will be thrown at us. I think it’s fun to share these ideas and discuss with other people— sure, maybe there’s just something you missed when reading, but perhaps some new ideas spawn might from it. Some speculation could even serve as inspiration for fics!

There are some theories and thoughts that I’ve posted that have been “debunked” when I reread a book, or when someone pointed out something, or even just when something had a real-world basis that I as an American didn’t catch. But it was still fun to think about it all, and there’s some bits and pieces that I see as notable and worth considering. I think most of the Silverborn Masterpost is going to be “wrong”, but if just 1% of it is “correct”, even indirectly, I will take that as a win. I know it feels like during the hiatus everyone’s talked about everything, but I hope that the incoming communal reread (fingers crossed) and obviously Silverborn brings some speculation back to the fandom because I want to discusssssss!

[yuriyuruandyuraart]

Hi? Gosh how do I even start with this :'D

I know it's been ages since I've last popped up on here. I've been debating when to post this for a while, but I kept adding to my draft more and more and now it's the end of JULY omgg I felt so guilty disappearing with zero updates but then thought my birthday would be the best day to finally address this considering it'll feel less random? idk but Ive always celebrated my bday with you guys and I'd feel so bad answering your kind asks without me at least explaining why I was gone for months.

Truth be told, I was dealing with a lot of stuff irl. health issues and sudden declining grades that left me stumped and drained for months now- along with technical issues like having to replace some parts of my computer that took a while for me to find to even draw digitally, which I didn't have the time for anyway with how tired and weary I felt every day.

I'm frankly shaken up by a lot of shit rn and I don't know how to be active online with this burden on my chest- Especially as it's been a while since I've even looked at utmv related content and my motivation dwindled. I swear I'd hype myself up to post or reblog something- but I'd see just how much I've missed or the overwhelming amount of posts I'd need to go through and I'd feel so swamped with exhaustion and most importantly guilt, for not clearing the air up sooner to reassure you guys that I'm, y'know, alive, and not dead in a ditch somewhere. And I'd procrastinate cause typing it all out is hard and I'd give up halfway every time and it's just not fair to you all!

I thought I was handling it well when I started going out and socializing more, instead of staying cooped up at home on my computer all day. and in the first draft of this post I made months ago I was gonna detail some of the fun plans I had, for my life and for this blog :D but relaxing my strict study schedule and letting go a bit of my tight routine, thinking it was better than wringing myself dry to keep it up, backfired horribly, to say the least.

I know right?? so silly to be hung up on stupid shit like studies of all things! but this is a very important thing for me considering my career plans and the competitivity encouraged by everyone I'm surrounded by, the pressure of keeping up adding to my already stressful days. I had to fix myself up first and I couldn't handle the strain nor interact with people and thinking of jobs and exams sapped my energy so much it's frankly embarrassing. writing this feels so cheesy too and it frustrates me to know I could've come back a month earlier if it weren't for that, but I also know putting all of this into words then would just sound like incoherent venting (not that this is very different tbf) and I wasn't in the right headspace to address my absence, or anything really- I didn't want everyone to see me return when I couldn't muster up a genuinely positive message, let alone talk to anyone with a shadow of my usual cheer

I feel like a complete mess and It drives me up the wall how depressed I've gotten. I debated deleting this blog so many times 'cause the fear of disappointing my audience and my friends, for lack of a more fitting sentiment, made me feel even shittier. I'm constantly thinking if this wall of text is worth posting, or if it's better not to burden you all with all my sappy troubles as if it's the end of the world. Trust me, I'll be fine. I'm not trying to dramatize this situation, but I don't think I'm up to pretending I'm all sunshine and enthusiasm you're all accustomed to.

So sorry for worrying you all! I'll try to catch up, deliver some missed birthday gifts, and answer some asks while I'm at it! Again, I can't state how much I appreciate your support throughout the years. It's frankly a miracle I kept any of you around with how much I keep popping and leaving at random with no warning. I definitely can't promise for my stay to be without a hitch, and if you don't mind an inconsistent schedule you're free to stay of course, but I'm afraid I can't sustain the pace I had when I first started this blog. I'll keep posting art, but lower my activity in the fandom sphere to reduce the strain on my mental health. so fewer rants and walls of text, more art, and less stress overall. Love you all and thanks for waiting for this long <3

[oceanwithouthermoon]

ive been unhealthily fixated on kubosai for the past few weeks, i just have no idea how to put it into words. kuboyasu aren and saiki kusuo are in love btw

[w1lmutt]

Thing is, it doesn't matter if Tomura isn't dead and will be brought back in the future or not. To me, the way his character had been utilized for the story since the end of the first war arc is goddamn awful

[tavina-writes]

currently trying to think if I remember any situations in Jin Yong wuxia where a family preferred sons over daughters (especially as like, a socially mandated thing) and coming up short.

Like I think there are plenty of situations where powerful men/families/sects only have one child and that child is a daughter. And this is neither weird, highly remarked upon, or considered odd in any way. Nor is anyone feeling pressed to come up with a son in the future.

Ren Yingying from XAJH, Yue Lingshan from XAJH, Huang Rong from LOCH, Guo Fu (from ROCH) for a good portion of her life (16 years of it, also Guo Fu wasn't displaced bc one of the twins was a boy, NOR were her parents trying to have more children on purpose), Yang Guo and XLN's daughter from ROCH/HSDS, Gongsun Lu'e from ROCH, etc.

Also their status range from like 'extremely important and visible family in the jianghu' to 'actually not all that well known' so it's not just a "well our family is powerful so who gives a fuck" kind of situation.

Like these are male dominated books, there are more men than there are women in Jin Yong's books (there are really cool women in his books though), but there's almost none 'oh no how will a girl inherit!' left beef. The girl will learn martial arts, like it's hard?

I think this is also relatively true of Gu Long books too, so at some points I'm left ??? at the discourse re: inheritance and gender in MDZS fandom bc I don't think it's actively stated anywhere that women aren't supposed to inherit? Or aren't allowed? or are less capable? or that there's a strong societal prejudice against it? Just. It's a danmei so most of these positions are occupied by men. Like, there are maybe five whole women and even less among the juniors. Who and how and why will they inherit if they don't exist.

[nobodybetterlookatme]

Update 2: the germaphobia didn't win bc he sneezed so hard he cried kinda and I can't not hug the people I like when there's tears so that's where we're at now lmao I'm literally so fucked but at least I'm not doing anything the next week 😭 checked him over since caution has been thrown to the wind, dude for sure has the flu but I'm hoping I can dodge it bc I got vaccinated so fingers crossed there. Ran out of tissues, so he's resorted to napkins and his jacket which isn't nearly as hot irl as it is in fic, but this is what it's come to 😔 also he's gone through three more masks and I'm lowkey scared he's gonna run out of those too 😭😭

[hauntingblue]

Stampede aka another episode of luffy turning haters into dick riders just with his kind and big heart

[alchemiclee]

i know this has been said 473773474833 times by the kavetham/haikaveh shippers and probably even nonshippers, but i'll say it again. I finally finished the genshin summer event and did the little after quest in sumeru and.....every time kaveh is sneaking around trying not to be noticed coming out of alhaithams house it's just such a gay vibe. he's basically screaming "I can't be caught being gay in a homophobic society!" even if that's not what the game writers are *actually* saying. that's just how it comes off and they can't make it come off any other way. with hoyo's gay history, it makes me wonder if it's on purpose and all a cover-up to have a technically different reason for it so they can get away with it lmao but we will never know.

[james-spooky]

this is a test

[seafoamsol]

Every so often someone will come across my team fortress 2 art from like, 2017, and just go through all of it and I just have to deal with the psychic damage of reliving my high school years and seeing my old art

[vt-scribbles]

Something seriously lacking in my art is the ability to tell a story in a single illustration.

I've gotten so used to drawing my characters standing around doing random things that I've never practiced telling a full tale/putting implications into my pieces that require more thinking/looking.

It also comes from a lower amount of details in my works by default [since I like to get pieces done fast], but I'm tired of using that as an excuse.