#idk how old it is bc i got it from someone who just had it around. but it could be like turn of the century even? it's pretty old
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im going into my new work tomorrow, first time ever😐
#i was supposed to go in yesterday but um#so basically i did whatever training i was never even aware existed on a platform i was never told of#which has progress for every lil step i do so my manager literally could see i hadnt even logged on n couldve warned me any time#but never did 4 some reason. like even a days notice like heyyy have u gotta blah done n not as im abt to exit to work#BUT ANYWAYS so i tell her i got it done n shes like awesome i make new schedule (since she said we have 2 completely rid the old one#i dont get an update until 4 days later. all she did was add THREE training days (im supposed to have 6 cus it's a hard job)#on TOP of my old schedule. so i have 3 days i know are training days and then a solo day bcs that solo day was going off my old schedule#so it's like. which days do i go on then. bcs u said i cant come in at all bcs we'll have to make a completely new schedule#and then the new schedule is just. 3 added days. on top of my old one#sunday i was scheduled for training & there was No trainer scheduled with me. it was just me#sunday wasnt one of the 3 new days added. it was from the old schedule she literally told me to ignore#n then all a sudden today i get an email from someone who was supposed to be training me (name not even on the schedule tho)#n shes like hey im in the building are u lost or smthing :)?' mind u im asleep . so she probably thot she was wasting her time for a good hr#i emailed her an apology n an explanation but UGH r u fucking serious?? IF I KNEW THAT WAS A (NEW) TRAINING DAY I WOULDVE WENT#I JUST WANT TO GET USED TO THIS NEW THING & IT'S JUST GETTING FUCKED LIKE I DONT EVEN HAVE A BADGE YET BRO#like i was suspicious of going in sunday bcs it wouldve lined up nicely with the 3 added training days#but manager TOLD me she was adding a whole new training schedule! i double check n all she added were THREE days! thats it!#how was *i* supposed to know sunday was supposed to be 1 of those days when ive been staying at home ignoring the schedule u said 2#BCS U SAID 2. AND ALSO. THERE WAS NO TRAINER ON THE SCHEDULE.#even tho the drive is far. i wouldve driven up there today to see if i could shadow if i had known there was someone to shadow there#bcs even if i was wrong abt the day 2 come in at least i wouldnt waste my time but i didnt even know if there was someone there with a#trainer title. so i just missed a day i didnt even know i rlly had. FOR NOTHING. UGHH. I FEEL SO STUPID. I HATE MISCOMMUNICATION#im so scared of coming in now. sverybodys gonna think im dum n what if i have issues training then theyre gonna be like#we spent all this time on bro n he had all this time 2 prepare n he still sucks like damn we should just give up#i would 2 but i hate not seeing things to completion so. ugh. hate it here. idk what 2 say. EMBARRASSING#i hate miscommunications i hate feeling stupid
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this is possibly a stupid question but does anyone who knows more about old clothes than me know why this waistcoat has buttons on the inside of the neck like this?
#is it to attach a false shirt front or something? i don't think I've ever seen one that buttons on like that though#if it was just at the neck i'd think it was to attach to a shirt or smth but idk how the ones on the chest would work there#they're not spare buttons bc they don't match the front & they aren't meant to be exposed i think given how comparatively cheap they look#i tried googling it but didn't rlly get anything#i feel like there's something obvious here that i'm missing or forgetting akjhdfkjsahdjajsd#thoughts#idk how old it is bc i got it from someone who just had it around. but it could be like turn of the century even? it's pretty old#& there's no labels or anything
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there are things that you don't do for a year or more and pick up just right where you left off and these days i fear loving you might be one of them
#double meaning on that but. yeah.#it's like. i haven't touched the imaging software i use for an entire year. soldering iron in decades. pick it right back up. to my surpris#muscle memory is crazy#i don't draw for months and pick up right where i was with a few sketches bc the work you put in stays even when you don't actively practic#when it's something you've practiced weekly and daily it sticks with you and ig that's good#but then it's like. the horrors. that haunt you. yk? what if a part of me will always save a soft spot for my ex. what then.#what if I'm fine now and I'm doing okay and i don't miss it and I think i'm okay moving forward and i see her and suddenly I'm on the floor#what if some part of me that was in love never really went away what if i haven't managed to kill all of it yet#bc i genuinely would not know what to do. i. i don't want to admit it but one of my worst fears is liking someone who doesn't like you back#and what's even more horrifying is if it's obvious. if everyone can tell. and usually I'm good at hiding it! (not really) but it's just. id#it's shame in liking someone who you tell yourself you don't want to like and you know you shouldn't. and not having control over it.#hoping praying that either she does something that turns the little switch in my head that sends her into the unforgivable category#or that i become straight. or that i become straight. mhm. yep. or ig the other option is i get a crush on someone new but like. mm.#i kinda have gotten w every person I've had a crush on since hs and i kinda don't think im ready for another rs so soon.#the baggage i just got is. hm. idk i kinda don't wanna unpack it. it's something that can easily be done if i had the missing pieces but.#i don't think I'm ever gonna get them. so. instead I'm gonna take. maybe another 3 months or 5 months or a year or a few. to just. slowly.#idek. it's just triggering old things. bringing me back to when i was 14. i never really got closure from that either. it took me 3 years.#I'm sure this time it'll go away faster but idk experiencing it a second time has a different feel to it. idk. it's weird.#it's like. idk. it's like you're watching it happen and you're not even there anymore. idk. i really don't know.#oh. I've been dissociating.#idk maybe it's for the best i really don't know i really don't know and everyone says i have to do what's best for myself but idk what is#my life is on track things are moving forward I'm doing better and healing but i can't escape the feeling of dread#something is going to catch up with me sooner or later and idk what it is idk at what intensity and idk if i will be ready for it#but anyway. when you love someone intentionally every day for a while. when does it go away? will it go away?#or will i have to live haunted by ppl who are alive but changed. so practically dead w/o the opportunity to mourn. for the rest of my life?#like i don't think i get it. loving this person was like. cooking and eating. intentional. ingrained into everyday life. effortful.#what if my mind does forget but my body still remembers. what then. what if it's like searching for sth you don't remember having anymore#ig I'm just trying to figure out how much to forget these days. how much won't hurt if it all comes back to haunt me#delete later
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#love that when ur stressed and having a bad time it makes ur menstrual pain worse so you feel even more awful#like. yes. id love to get things done but unfortunately i need to go home immediately at 2pm bc i feel physically ill. vibes wretched.#im considering sleep here at 6pm but 2 b fair i think i only slept 4hrs last night. woof. tomorrow is gonna b interesting#i think the allergic reacting is abt over now tho. like im not really itchy anymore. the rash is still visible but i think its just dry now#bc of the cold. so was i ever reacting to the tatto0? or was it all the medication? im so interesting in what happened#would i not have had a reaction if i hadn't got a bunch of holes poked in my skin? or was it just a coincidence#that the rash started on that arm? ugh. so frustrating. and i think the psychiatrist forgot to actually book my appointment from when we#last talked so idk. maybe if i watch t4skmaster over and over it will heal my soul#ay. its all very frustrating. and i still dont have fucking autoclave access. fuck off. just give me the fucking key code#i just wanna pour plates 🫗 lol that actually looks a lot like pouring solid media. i dont wanna have to steal someone else's card to open#the door. who even locks up an autoclave??? they didnt at my old school and u could wheel a body into that thing. im pretty sure it was#bigger than this one. also there's another unlocked on on campus. why?! i ask ppl and fucking no one knows. that's just how it is#ugh. i should go to sleep. my tummy hurt#unrelated
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just woke up from the best film I've ever watched in my life only to realise it was a dream
#IT DOESN'T EXIST. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO FUNCTION#is there an animated film about like these 6 rats or something escaping from this guy but there's all these themes that they go through#and the final theme is death bc one of them gets impaled by a rose thorn and it's like FUCK bc they were almost gonna get away#so there's this old guy who's a bit of a prick but he becomes nicer at the end but he's the one that dies#and these two girls one of them is like idk she's good at a lot of things and the other one is kind of a pushover#then three guys one of them is really pathetic one is kind of silly and one of them i guess is the Normal Main Character type#also there's humans going about their lives in the present but for some reason the rats' lives are set in like? early 20th century italy#and there's all these shots of like the italian scenery for some reason. idk why it's set there but it's a vibe#idk who the guy they're getting away from is or what he wanted with them but yeah#and bc they're rats or whatever type of rodent they were they would like hide in bushes and it would be really intense bc like#what if the guy can see them#and basically not to give any spoilers but then the old guy died and they wrote some quote on a bit of paper and drew a pic of him and stuc#it on the wall as tribute. and idk who's gonna see it bc I think they were amongst some plants at the bottom of like#one of those bench booths you get in restaurants or cafes. I have no idea#but then it ended with them walking up this hill into the sunset or something idek#with this like late 60s/early 70s big produced sweeping strings tambourines etc. banger playing over the credits#also my car was in it occasionally. and this guy I went to college with and never spoke to#and my best friend briefly#and earlier on I had another dream but idk if it was connected. but it was stan kyle kenny and cartman#but they got a job where my dad works in this park as like. toilet assistants. as in when someone went#to the toilet they'd open the door. that was the whole job#but one of the job requirements was they had to be beatles coded apparently#like that's what it said on the application. so they basically just reenacted the history of the beatles#while opening toilet doors#it was like 4 dreams in one but they were all somewhat connected. also the lining in my coat was so reflective it made a sound#and I was telling someone about my favourite chord progression idk what relevance that had but standard dream i guess#anyway. rodent storyline was going on as it did but at the end it became a film and suddenly I was there. watching it with my friend#and i was like ''god originally I would've given this a 4 maybe 3.5 on letterboxd but now it's getting a 5 + a ❤''#ramble#oneiro
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dearly beloved you are in the presence of a man who has seen all of dw*
*not counting the original series or the audio or any of the prose or any of the spinoffs and probably other things im forgetting about
#YAYYY. it was fun#im very intrigued i did like the newest season i sorrrrt of. hrmm. i had fun and i do understand that like. a lot of the stuff was From the#old series lol so i suppose i cant complain but i personally wish there was less likee. god stuff/fantasy stuff just bc i prefer it more#sci-fi at least for dw. this is just my opinion... but i had fun regardless i rly liked ncutis doctor i thought he was so fun#and i also like that even tho hes like. clearly Better at dealing with his stuff he isnt fully pver it and isnt perfect i like that it felt#nice ^_^ i kind of regret being high for like 2 entire episodes but in my defense i didnt realize there were so few in the season... mixed#feelings on this im kinda sad that we only got like. however many eps with ruby BUT i like rhat her story was like. it felt satisfying and#stuff and it had a defined ending and im glad she isnt going to like. overstay. Like someone else i know#flood hss me very eyes bc my mom told me abt how her outfits match rpev companions which i didnt notice#AND. she was wearing fucking claracwntric outfit in the scene where she went clever boy. ill kms before this continues . get her out of h#<- joking. i dont actually hate clara that bad she judt kind of annoyed me a lot and she just like. Stayed around. for so long#and i am sick of her 😭😭 i dont find her interesting at allll i liked her better when she was a dalek and or a victorian lady but tis what#tis. YAY! yay. idk who my favorite doctor was.... difficult to decide#missy easily favorite incsrnation of the master Obviously like thats genuinely my precious princess#and donna my favorite companion That is literally my precious princess.
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I made Rook's father in the sims, and he's saved to my gallery as "Lord Shithead", lmao.
I now have three sim versions of different OCs' shitty fathers in my sims gallery. (Well two that I made and one that Miranda simgerale made for me.) I needed all of them for edits or else I wouldn't have made them at all (they don't deserve the honor), but it's a little funny.
#the three are: Wymond (Fallon's dad) ; Pierre (Kristopher's father but the reason I needed him was bc he's king of Oryn) ; and now Alistair#(formally known as Lord Alistair Lockwood) who is Rook's piece-of-shit father.#Idk exactly what I'm gonna use him for yet but I have several ideas.#annoyingly he's actually quite good-looking. Although I guess that shouldn't be too surprising given how fucking GORGEOUS Rook is.#some facts: Rook got his freckles and maybe his curly hair from his mother.#She had green eyes but Rook ended up with his father's brown eyes.#his father is the elf half of his heritage and a member of the ruling council of Arborcea (Rook's home country.)#Rook never met his mother (at least not when he was old enough to remember her.)#He has three half-brothers (Silas ; Byron ; and Theodore) who I had to name on-the-spot during a session.#He hasn't seen any of them (or his father) in over 9 years.#but he narrowly missed having an interaction with Silas. (skipped for pacing reasons but man do I wish it had happened.)#oh and Rook's birth name is Adrian Lockwood. :)#morrigan.txt#oc: Rook#(saving for the lore in the tags lmao.)#maybe if someone's curious I'll post a boring old CAS pic of Lord Shithead.#or maybe I'll wait and post the “painting” I'm going to make of him later.#OH SHIT#I JUST HAD A REALLY GOOD IDEA.#goddd why do I always get good ideas early in the morning.
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I'm so excited you're taking requests for Rupert Campbell-Black!!
Do you think you could maybe fo #15 from your prompt list about him showing up for the reader bc they don't have anyone else?
Idk if just love that trope and I think it works with him.
If you don't feel inspired by that one no worries!
Someone in the crowd
prompt15 Rupert Campbell Black x fem!reader
word count: 5.3k+
warnings: parental neglect, mild swearing, hurt comfort, FLUFF
AN: Ahhhhhhh ANON I love you this is my fav prompt I was initially planning on the same one anyways thanks for platform ing my Rupert obsession you’re the first one
The chronicles of the country side for a veterinary sciences PhD student included more than just animals, main reason she selected a university so far from the hustle and bustle of the city. Peculiar animals in their natural state, she came across more than just peculiar animals.
Trespassing loses its meaning for the engrossed researcher, she didn’t realise when she passed the forest to a private estate land whilst following the slow worm. The most advanced high end camera, that Rupert had only seen with those media folks and proper film production. However he assumed the girl in a camouflage jungle vest to be an intern in a tabloid firm, trying to prove herself to be ever so efficient to her superiors by sneaking in to his property for a few pictures. Too naive to realise he could sue her for all her fortune perhaps. Rather an amateur at her job perhaps, she was there to snap him yet her attention didn’t avert to him on his horse before he approached her himself, “Young lady” he cleared his throat sternly “You do realise you’re trespassing here?”
“Oh?” She looked out of her camera lens to the voice that called out her and in an instant she lost sight of the slow worm she was following. “Fuck!”
“And if you don’t delete the pictures and get off of this land right this second I will be suing you for all the jobs you don’t already have.” Rupert threatened, he truly misliked this breach of his privacy to no end. But because the girl seemed unskilled and gullible to her supposedly first job he felt he could let her get off easily.
“I’m not deleting any pictures I barely got two” she said with a heavy sigh, her eyes frantically searching for her subject within the grass again not too bothered by his threat. “And I don’t have any job as it is”
“Oh” he amused, getting off of the saddle of his horse to level with her, “are you one of those fans then? How many times do I have to tell you people-“
“What?” Her attention broke from her subjected reptile to the man this time, “a fan? I don’t even know you…”
“Oh right” he scoffed placing his hands by his hips, “surely you don’t.”
“I truly don’t. I was following my subject for today from the forest lands and I ended up here it was an honest mistake” she explained herself as she opened her camera to show him the pictures, they were all reptiles and not…him.
“You were following a snake?” He asked rather confused and somewhat intrigued as to what would bring her to this.
“It’s not a snake, it’s a is a legless lizard. Anguis Fragilis” she corrected the man, ever so casually as if it were the most common of knowledges to attain.
The man just burst into laughter letting go of the horse chain to contain it, his hand on his chest he could find the joke in the name and the scenario extremely comical. “You have got to be kidding me!”
Y/n felt a bit embarrassed as if she’d said the wrong name so she went through it in her head again and she wasn’t, wrong. It was perhaps like college again, info dumping on the wrong set of people who poke fun at peculiar passions. But the man seemed to be too old to be like those immature college kids who mock others so she was left rather confused “what is so funny?” She asked hesitantly, “it’s rather rare and native to this area we don’t come across them in the city…” she trailed off trying to fill in his boastful laughter with something to feel less uncomfortable.
“Oh is it now?” Rupert asked as his laughter subsided and he realised the girl was an enthusiast in a true fashion. He just found the name of the godforsaken reptile to have a double meaning to it, he thought she made it up but when she got awkward and explained further he realised she wasn’t joking. “My apologies, are you new here?”
“Yes Ive actually moved here for research, I’m studying veterinary sciences for PhD… ” she said still feeling a bit self conscious after he’d laughed like that.
“Anus Fragilis huh?” He repeated trying his best to suppress another set of laughter but he failed at it ever so evidently.
“Anguis…er-slow worm.” She cringed as she picked up on the joke that had him loosing his composure like that. Perhaps she judged him to act his age which he looked so fast. “It’s also called slow worm. I lost him regardless, so I’ll get going. Sorry to bother you.”
“No, no hang on a second darling” he said gripping her elbow as she attempted to leave but as she returned to face him again he left it just instantly. “Since you’re already here, allow me to indulge you in a coffee or so? It would be very disappointing if I don’t get to learn more about…” he wanted to say it, the joke. But the awkwardly offended look on her face of feeling small wasn’t worth it so he kept it to himself “slow worms and legless lizards”
“They’re the same.” She briefed him feeling his ignorance, the PhD aspirant did not seem to have time to entertain his indulgence. “Forgive me but I have to go, I’ve walked too far from my car.”
“Well then allow me to drop you?” Rupert offered with his usual charm which didn’t leave to phase a lot.
Not her perhaps, “It’s not that far” she said curtly. Packing her camera equipment in a hurry. “Thanks. And sorry for trespassing.”
Rupert watched as she hastily packed her lenses and the rolls. Just when he thought he could work on himself to not offend people on first impressions, he generally didn’t do so with ladies so perhaps this was a first. “I’m Rupert Campbell Black” He put his hand forward for a handshake, “Sports Minister.” He introduced himself.
She had both her hands full with her books and camera, which she could rearrange back in the bag to accept his handshake but she’d rather not so she just nodded shortly. “Yes, Mr. Rupert, so nice to meet you.” She said with half a smile, then paced away not even waiting for his reply.
“I suppose I’ll see you around?” He said with his usual grin but she was already pacing away back to the path she’d come from.
That is how the two first met. Not her most memorable nor pleasant interaction but surely intriguing for the minister. The next time he met her, late early evening at a cafe. It took a second to recognise her with her head down in a book but there was enough lighting cast on her against the window where she sat. “Slow worm!” He exclaimed as he approached her causing her to avert her attention from the book to him.
“You…” she trailed off however her tone didn’t match the same enthusiasm as his. “Hi.” She said as he gestured to the chair across her on her table, asking if someone was there but she shrugged and nodded “Please, go ahead” she said being polite, internally bracing herself for another awful interaction.
“I was hoping I’d run into you” he told her leaning forward on the table crossing his arms, “turns out, your little bugger is a frequent visitor of the stable sheds back at the estate.”
“That explains yeah” she nodded closing her book, the size of it gigantic and hardcover it made a small thud, “it eats slugs and snails, spiders too…”
“Wonderful aspect” Rupert complimented, under informed on the subject he didn’t know what to say. “Did you get proper observations for your research?”
“Superficially yes” she nodded, “I’ll run into more of those one of these days.”
“You can always just visit my place again…I would be honoured to help out a bright mind.” Rupert offered leaning back in the chair, unbuttoning his blazer.
“That is so kind of you, I’m very sorry for trespassing that day” she said it again, obviously not friendly enough with him to take him up on that offer.
“Well you could make up for it by telling me your name.” He shrugged as his lips formulated a smile.
“Y/n.” She told him. As the conversation progressed, learning more of him, telling him more about her research and the subjects she’d come across so far. For someone in a vastly different field he was such an attentive listener. She’d told him a lot, about the animals, her thesis, her lectures and sessions, being a TA, moving here.
“And what of your friends?” He asked her over his second cup of coffee in the same conversation because he wanted to keep it going.
“I don’t live on campus so I don’t have roommates to be friends with, then I’m a TA but everyone else is a bachelors and third year student. Had I done college here I’d have those friends…I do have friends from college back home but as of now it’s only my professors.” She informed him, very casual with it but as she formulated the picture in his head it seemed to be a rather isolating experience.
“And what do you do for fun around here?” He asked her to see if it was as isolating as he realised.
“Trespass estates.” She joked with a small giggle, but in truth she did absolutely nothing for fun because there wasn’t anything.
“Greatest hobby ever” he joked back. But as she didn’t follow up with another activity he realised that if he pried about it he’d just force her to admit she led a boring and somewhat lonely life. He wasn’t judging her, she was fresh out of college and had to move a whole place and seemed to have no friends here. Well except for him if she’ll have him. “Are you struggling?”
“Of course not. I love my work, I can easily afford rent too it’s not a problem.” She replied honestly, if only financial was all of her struggles.
“Don’t you think you’d save more if you lived on campus?” He questioned unsure of her choice to stay in a boutique flat in one of the most expensive neighbourhoods.
“My father wouldn’t allow it. He’s a bit of a tone deaf classist that way.” She admitted, rather casually.
“Allow?” He repeated, surprised. He didn’t know her precise age but by her educational status and the looks of it someone in their early twenties didn’t need their father’s permission on how to live.
“It’s just a bit complicated, he wants all of his children to take the right step that is work in our family business, his company. I tried, it’s soul draining and very unlike me” she sighed “So I just extended education.”
“To get far from him?” He perceived, perhaps not the way she saw it.
“—To explore my options. I don’t want to disappoint him when I can avoid it.”
“And is this the way to be?” He asked, his tone guarded and expression curious.
“Perhaps.” She replied, but on the inside she was so hyper aware that anywhere farther from the family business as all the way to be. She didn’t want to distanced from her father nor her family, she may not be the golden child but she wanted him to be ever so proud of her even though she didn’t walk on the road he chose for her.
“Your spirit likes the fight doesn’t it?” It was more of an observation than a question.
“I don’t indulge in self awareness that well” She replied with a bemused shrug and he just let out a low laugh that. And that was her first friendship in Rutshire. To Rupert’s likeness the cafe was another one of basil’s side quests but he visited there less frequently given the bar was his primary. Regardless, Rupert got him too. The prime customer and his newest friend, studied there most of the time because she lived close by and Rupert felt drawn to her company.
She had no other and he found her growing to be his favourite one. He fancied the conversations with her so much, in her absence basil teased him about it. This one afternoon, Rupert visited as his usual time, or perhaps y/n’s usual time which he picked up on but she wasn’t there. “The coffee can’t be that good.” Basil said with a small scoff, as he found Rupert with a disappointed expression in the girl’s absence.
“I’m just trying to reduce the alcohol intake” Rupert said nonchalantly, well aware he didn’t the caffeine he’d been consuming just for the conversations with her.
“I wasn’t talking about the coffee” Basil added with a devious grin hinting at the double meaning joke he was referring for.
“Piss off” Rupert rolled his eyes at the man with a heavy sigh of irritation sitting down at the table, rolling up his sleeves and facepalming. “This is her usual time to come and study here” he mentioned.
“Which you don’t let her do.” Basil said, the entire time indulging the poor girl in conversations and spontaneous outing plans. “She’d have to be extraordinarily brilliant to keep up with her courseworks with all the detours you put her up to.”
“She is extraordinarily brilliant.” Rupert briefed him.
“I suppose you’d know.” Basil shrugged leaning against the table where he was sat, “Does she have a boyfriend?”
Seemingly offended at the mere thought of that Rupert’s expression disgusted, “Of course not!”
“Of course not?” Basil repeated surprised with his affirm expression. “So you are sleeping with her.”
“I’m not sleeping with her.” Rupert emphasised on the word ‘not’ and it was probably the tenth time that Bas had asked him that this moment.
“Of course not” Basil humoured him mimicking his tone when he said that.
“I’m not, it isn’t like that with her.” Rupert tried to explain that to his friend who found that to be such a foreign concept. It was a very strangely unknown and unspecific feeling for Rupert himself too.
“You don’t want to sleep with her?” Bas questioned not believing nor understanding the prospect “she’s rather pretty.” besides he’d sleep with anything.
“She isn’t just pretty Bas, she’s beautiful, a bit too much even on the inside.” He paused “She is precious.” Rupert spoke with such genuine passion that basil had to lay off of the joke he was brewing.
“And what of you?” Basil asked, it was something Rupert hadn’t even questioned himself for well not yet anyways.
“What of me?” He answered the question with a question feigning innocence. Before basil could further explain himself, even though well aware that Rupert understood him. The bells of the door jingled announcing upcoming presence in the nearly empty cafe causing the men to turn at the voice.
“Hello-Hello, Gentlemen!” Y/n exclaimed in the most enthusiastic Sunday morning tone possible but it was a cloudy afternoon on a Tuesday. To Rupert she always sounded like a Sunday morning with her little giggles and all the mannerisms but today she seemed way more lifted with spirits.
“Want to bet a tenner she ran into a coyote.” Basil said as she made her way to their table sitting across Rupert whilst basil was still leaning against the table.
“I bet you a twenty its a pine marten.” Rupert said, he picked up on everything from their conversation. This week she was in search of that specific animal from her list or so, he kept track somewhat subconsciously.
“It’s neither” She said with a smile still plastered on her face as she sat her bag down to the side placing her hands on the table. “I’ve got great news, well not great but perhaps good, great to me.” She went in an adjective discourse and shook her head coming back on track “My professor submitted my thesis to this government honorary publications department and I’m getting an in-kind research grant!”
“The government is giving you money?!” Basil matched her enthusiastic tone leaning forward on the table.
“No, no it’s an in kind grant…as in-they present me with an award but the big thing is that I get policy access, lab space, government authorised datasets…” she explained further with her eyes so lit up Rupert wanted to bottle this warmth of emotions he felt in just seeing her happy like this and drink it like water.
“You are getting an award?!” Rupert said with loud earnest passion for her excelling. “Y/n! That is marvellous news!”
“You fucking genius!” Basil added further, giving her a side hug and kissing the top of her head, giving her hair a ruffle as he walked across the cafe, “this calls for a celebration!”
“Thank you” She replied with a toothy smile. Feeling very heart warmed. Then Rupert took both her hands in his, he looked just as lit up as if it was his award.
“My darling, you absolute mastermind. Your mind is a wonder, y/n I am so so proud of you!” He said, he didn’t have to reaffirm or reassure more so because out of everyone she’d come across, Rupert had been so supportive, a subject and felt so unfamiliar yet he’d reassured and let her know it so constantly that she’d always have him to be cheering so hard for her. “You deserved this!”
“Rupert, that is so kind! Thank you, seriously” she replied with a glint in her eyes he could feel coloured by. Just about on time, basil blasted the confetti cracker he happened to have lying around. He turned the open sign to closed at the door of the cafe and returned to the table, slowly she let her hands out of Rupert’s.
“Didn’t have champagne in the cafe but this should do” Basil said as he presented their table with a small cake.
“You didn’t have to close the place” y/n said with a small giggle as she saw the cake, a sign in red jam crossing out the name ‘Einstein’ and Y/n in its place. Classic Bas.
“Oh please love, I deserve this celebration.” Bas said with a dramatic roll of his eyes, any reason to not work was reason enough.
“Right of course since he worked so hard.” Rupert joked clearly forgetting he owed the man in staying the cafe for him to keep it open just in case y/n might come in. They kept congratulating her over and over again as the trio dug into the cake.
“So when exactly is the award function?” Rupert asked, it was going to be event of the week for him more than it was for y/n.
“It’s on this Friday, I get one visitor pass and my father is flying out to attend it!” She said, ebullient. It did irk him somewhat because he’d wanted to see her receive the award but he knew how much her father’s approval meant to her so he was happy in her happiness regardless.
“That is great news, what did he say?” Rupert asked keeping his disappointment for not being able to see her at bay.
“His assistant put me through in the very second call so he must really be impressed, he asked me about the function and he sounded very positive of it.” She told them about the seemingly brief phone call.
“You have to talk to an assistant to get to your fath-“ basil was quickly interjected with a small shove on the leg from Rupert to take a turn in that observation. Rupert didn’t want it to rain her parade, “It’s so nice he’s coming all this way.”
“He’d probably stay a day or two after that you should meet him!” She added, it seemed as if she was somewhat more joyous with the fact that her father was pleased than the actual award to her name. It was a grey line.
“I would be delighted to.” Rupert said, he would be. At least for her sake despite having his internal doubts towards the man.
-
The award function was an extremely formal event, you could barely tell apart the professors from the bureaucrats. Rupert could tell the difference easily though, he simply knew the later group, almost all of them. But he wasn’t there for any of those people. Taking his seat at the round table, next to the faces he knew very well but he was way too focused on the happenings of the stage to indulge in small talk. And then there it was.
The lady of the evening. At least for him, her research dissertation was called out and he recognised it was her turn before they presented her name as well. White shirt with several pins of animal welfare and her educational institution. Simplicity and grace, ever so precious. As she received the medal and the award plate Rupert clapped perhaps the loudest, standing up even. The stage wasn’t so far but she didn’t spot him because her eyes were searching another direction and the procession was short lived before she could avert her gaze.
Finally after all the names were done, she was free from the stage back to the softly mingling crowd. “There she is!” The enthusiastic exclamation caught her attention from her lost trance.
Adhering the man in suit with flowers in his hand, surprised and radiated expression, “Rupert?!” She was baffled and so relieved she didn’t understand the later feeling. She rushed to him, their distance getting closer as he opened his arms for her.
“Congratulations, darling” he said bringing her into a tight embrace both of them so joyous, hers was rather infectious. He easily lifted her from the ground out of glee, kissing the side of her face. “You were wonderful out there!”
“When did you get here?” She asked once he put him down and she pulled away yet kept her arms entangled with him. Enough to just see his face, “also how?”
“I’m an MP you thought I wouldn’t be able to get into a government function?” He amused, surprised she did not see it coming, perhaps she wasn’t expecting him but her reaction seemed as if she would rather prefer him. “I got here an hour before yours was announced.”
“I am so glad you made it!” She told him, the effort was so heartwarming to her. He’d came to an event which wasn’t initially his, making more arrangements to even get in for her. She didn’t want to voice it because he’d always reply with such a strange concern as if being loved more than to be sustained wasn’t optional, she wasn’t used to this concern nor sentimental support.
Rupert could tell her kind, wide eyes in a sort of turmoil of something she couldn’t figure out by even herself but he didn’t pry on it, “where is your father?” He asked looking around shortly.
“Oh he…he isn’t here. He could not make it.” She said with a small shrug, that is how casual his absence was to him.
“—How come?”
“Probably his flight, I forgot to notify him about our time zones or so. If he were skipping he would’ve called prior” there was a small hope tugging at her heartstrings trying to believe this wasn’t like the other times. “He would be here anyways, would just be missing the event.”
“I suppose” he replied curtly, being presented with two choices of either being truthful with her of her father’s harsh and uncaring constitution or hold the hope she held out for the man with her. None of the two seemed befitting to him. As the event progressed she introduced him to some of her professors and people that she worked with, he did the same with the other officials that he knew of. She grew tired of the socialising and asked him if they could leave the event, she wasn’t as tired as she was growing disappointed of a man who wasn’t even in the room.
Even though Rupert and her came to the event from a different place and were going back in difference directions it was a given that they leave together. At least to him it was, she’d just informed him she felt like leaving and he stood up in an instant. He was dropping her back to her place because she didn’t driver herself to the function. The two were walking, to his car in the chilly night with his suit blazer draped over her shoulders, flowers and his hand in her hand, he carried her award with her bag for her and a light hearted conversation. Serenity which ran away once they came across a pay phone call booth. “Do you mind if I go make a call?” She asked him, he nodded but he was well aware who that call was intended for.
Rupert leant against the phone stand with the small door of it open, close to her as she pressed the numbers inserting coins. Anxiously awaiting the other line to answer she replied when a voice answered “Hello, this is me, y/n. Did dad leave yet?” She asked, he hated to see her in such distress and was afraid the conversation ought to make it worse. “What? What do you mean—the event, my award he was going to be here for…like he promised.” Rupert could only hear y/n’s side of the conversation but he could pan out the other side, which wasn’t even her father just some office assistant. “Just let me talk to him…please…two minutes perhaps?” It was difficult to watch, begging for the scraps of her father to an assistant. After a few moments the call ended and she couldn’t even stomach the courtesy of a goodbye.
As she walked out of the booth he searched for her to meet his eyes, narrate to him the happenings of the call. “His plans changed” she said but nothing further. He could tell she didn’t feel like talking so he stopped walking and also held her back from the track, pulled her into his arms. Resting his chin on top of her head as he held her, enlacing his arms around her tightly. He could definitely stay like this for rest of the night. Even life? A small voice suggested and he quickly dismissed it as he was pulled back to her, she didn’t feel relaxed in his arms even though she hugged him back and her face so steady, he felt his shirt getting sprinkled with dampness, as if in smallest portions.
“Y/n…” he trailed off pulling away to confirm if she was crying, “are you crying?” He asked as she lowered her face so he couldn’t see it but he leant in her direction to see. “Hey..hey, it’s alright” he pulled her back to him letting her weep onto his chest as he ran a hand through her hair.
“I don’t understand why I feel so bad” she said through her tears, holding onto him like she would fall apart even more if he let go. Perhaps she would.
“It is alright darling just let it out” Rupert said as he continued to sooth her in his arms, trying to provide a present, grounding support.
“He promised me…” she trailed off crying harder, all those events where her father should’ve been present but wasn’t came back to her. Fancy dress competitions at school where the chauffeur that dropped her off would have to attend the show out of pity for the child, birthdays where he would have to be bothered a multiple times to come attend cake-cutting, evidently sad over a test but he simply couldn’t be bothered to ask his daughter if she was alright. So much life spent in I-promise-you-I’ll-be-there. So much disappointment and you’d think one would learn. “I just feel stupid-I thought this time would be different.”
Rupert held her face in his hands “look at me” he said forcing her to meet his gaze. “You are not stupid for what you feel, you are not at fault for someone so detached and irresponsible towards their own child.” He spoke whilst wiping her tears, “he will forever be an incomplete, deficient man for the kind of father that he is. But you my love are beyond him and how he treats you, you’re brilliant and kind and funny and you have a heart big enough to hold a planet. You are going to go so far, your suffrage of his conditional love and inflicted anguish will heal for the better. I promise you that.”
This was a better hope than the one she was always latched onto, hoping that he would change, come around for once. But letting go and a promise for a softer tomorrow seemed so much more beautiful. “But I am so tired”
“You have been so gentle through so much…you must have been tired too. But persevering is constant and you, you always do. There is so much life within you, those around you are infected with it, I know I am.” He confessed, he hadn’t voiced it out especially not like this even to himself but she was more than a lively feeling, more than a chase or a rush for attraction. No. She was life.
Such admission made her heart flutter, she felt the drumming in her ears and it wasn’t the anxious kind. This felt like a sunrise after a good dream, but she had no words for it because her eyes spoke enough and so did his that wandered down to her lips and back to his. Reciprocating the course of gaze when he leant forward, face so close she didn’t move even by the slightest tired of awaiting him to inch to the closest extent she caught a soft grip of his shirt, lowering her gaze right when he crashed his lips onto hers. She kissed him back and it felt heavenly, as the kiss deepened he felt like he had reached there.
Smiles glued to their faces once they pulled away to catch a breath, tucking a loose strand of her hair behind her ear he said “you are not the only one who’s won something tonight.”
“That means I’ve won twice” she said with a small giggle adding to his exaggeration that kissing her felt like a win.
“That isn’t the same.” Rupert corrected her, going in to kiss her again with a slower passion, taking his time letting the sweetness of it linger “for me this is centuries worth of wins.”
—
IVE SO MUCH MORE OF HIS STUFF COMING SOMEBODY SEDATE ME…next his enemies to lovers let me know if you want to be tagged
PLEASE comments are my fuel I am HUNGRY for validation please if you like this please please let me know
#rupert campbell black#rupert campbell black x reader#Rupert Campbell black x you#rupert Campbell black x fem!reader#rivals disney+#rivals#rupert Campbell black fanfiction#rupert Campbell x reader#rupert x taggie#taggie x rupert#declan o’hara x reader#declan o’hara#tony baddingham
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Do u remember those porn videos where these guys would pick up some girl on a bus or something and bang her and it was called like bang bus😭😭😭😭
WHO IN ENHA~~~~
just kidding, unless..
enhypen hyung line + bang bus
warnings: these are with all the members separately bc i only ever watched videos where it's like just one guy and one girl SO!!!!!!!!!!
☆ jay:
the type to get on board with the idea when he's on the verge of going into debt. works out a lot beforehand and goes for the audition, which wasn't much of one considering he was the only cute, younger guy in the running and the rest were all old guys with half-limp dicks.
i think jay would be really camera shy, especially in front of a total pussy queen willing to spread that shit not only all over him, but all for a bunch of strangers to see. does his best in terms of fucking, but probably would struggle to get into it because he's shy, might even go soft a few times before eventually turning his brain off when she kisses him. idk, he'd have to pretend to make love in order to actually get off in a situation like this.
video would do numbers tho, everybody like "WHO IS HE?" bc it's his only video on the platform and he literally disappears from the porn world after that
★ jake:
always wanted to try porn, so, he does. a lot. like any time he gets a chance he's showing up at the studio or whatever like "what are we shooting today?" Im talking, gay porn, straight porn, solo, weird bizarre shit, etc. he just has a good time.
when it comes to the bang bus tho, oh maaaaaaaaaan does he love that shit. can't say no to a random girl willing to ride him in a moving vehicle, and definitely can't say no when the money flows in from each nut had to said video.
most of the girls he fucks try to get his number, but he rarely calls them back because he has too much fun fucking to actually let one of them lock him down. would probably make his own videos legit approaching random women and asking to fuck, lots of amateur vids on his own account in random public places and swingers clubs where's he's railing someone's wife lmfao
☆ sunghoon:
doesn't do it for the money, he does it bc he's desperate and really horny all the time. he puts on a show too, soft some days, super rough on others depending on the girl and her personality. like if she's loud, and tries to steal the show he's got his fingers in her mouth or pressing her face against the window so she shuts up lmfao. if she's all soft and quiet bc it's her first time doing this or something he's usually a lot nicer, and more gentle.
everybody knows he does it bc everyone he knows watches porn. his face sometimes ends up on the front page of said websites but nobody mentions it to him.
it's a known secret lmfao. makes him super popular with the ladies in his city tho.
★ heeseung:
a regular and fan favorite of the bang bus page. like he's got his own category and usually becomes the star of the show over the woman in it, which pisses the girls off sometimes bc he's a total show off and only cares about himself getting a nut. fr, if you wanna learn how to realistically fake an orgasm go ahead and approach heeseung for a collab because he'll show you just how much your clit doesn't matter to him.
always fun with a girl does cum though, turns him on craaazy and everyone can tell in the videos. a little bit of squirt will have him fucking with purpose, probably even praising rather than calling you a slut for fucking a random in a bus.
super popular with the gays btw, heeseung gets approached a lot for gay porn but he doesn't wanna be out-shined by a guy with a bigger dick lets be real.
#this isn't what u wanted i know it#enhypen smut#enhypen hard hours#heeseung smut#jake smut#jay smut#sunghoon smut
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LET'S GO OUT WITH A BANG 🚦
taglist:
@ashiyn @single-malt-scotch @goodtimeswithetho @pebbltree @crabbunch @catmaidetho @amethyst-allium @stitchthesewords
sooooo ermm i guess i get to talk about this piece now YIPPEE
i am one of those people who's constantly trying to figure out what their own art style looks like LMFAO. i take frequent breaks from art due to mental health shit so it feels like every time i come back i'm trying to find my footing again.
that being said, i had a lot of caffeine yesterday and started this on a whim and it ended up being something i'm incredibly proud of. i think it helps that i've been redrawing old emotes for a friend's twitch channel, so figuring out which brushes i like right now was really helpful, and i ended up using my personal emote palette like...a lot. that pink in Etho's eye, the purple used for shading, most of the browns are all used in my own emotes. it's wild how much having colours already picked out streamlines things!
Etho is the one i started with, of course, and ended up being one that i went back to re-draw after i'd done...three? or four? more, because the sizing wasn't right and i wasn't happy with the posing. i still wish i could have conveyed him dipping his chin into his coat fluff a little better, but oh well. i thought of the little detail of him looking at Martyn's drawing at the last second (#ethtyn4life) and it made me laugh so i did it. points to you if you caught that!
Joel was the second - life!Joel has always been fey in my head, especially after that season when he just went batshit insane the second he turned red. can't explain it, that's just how it be. i tried to give him an air of subtle menace about him but i think he just looks sleepy 💀 i'd like to do these as individual, larger pieces at some point, so maybe i can work on that more then.
Grian was the third - he reminds me of a Lost Boy here and that wasn't intentional but the Lost Boys always kind of freaked me out and life!Grian's kinda freaky so i think it fits. his little smirk is so creepy and i love him.
i don't remember who i did next after this so we'll just go in order pfft
Bdubs is SO CUTE look at him. one of the few where i couldn't make a menacing expression work, and honestly with how good his profile turned out i barely mind. i did that side profile with no reference, y'all, idk what kind of crack i was on last night. what the hell. this was about the point where i started wanting to do little lore doodles for everybody so i added the clock face - i think it clashes with the red background but what can you do.
CLEOOOOOO CLEO CLEO. i LOVED drawing them, i think their design is one of my favourites of the bunch. her hair has always been snakes in my head and AGAIN i drew those with no reference, can you fucking believe that. i loved the little detail of some of the snakes poking at the people next to her, they're so cute hehe. also Cleo has freckles now, i'm so sorry but i don't make the rules. someone complimented the teeth in the reblogs and THANK YOU!! they're not quite anatomically correct but fuck it we ball and they look cool as hell anyway.
Martyn is so smug, i love him. points if you caught that he's looking at Cleo bc Double Life, i wanted to do something a lil different with him than just another straight up symmetry tool drawing and i think it fits. he is so eye-searing tho sir please tone it down.
Lizzie is fey just like her husband, and also she is smol. i don't think it's conveyed as well as i'd like here but i also didn't want her to look like a straight-up child so i did what i could. she is So Scary with those vacant blue eyes oh my god. and drawing her hair was sooooo fun i love long hair ahh
with Gem i basically smoothed out a rough design sketch i posted awhile back and i'm so proud of the little head cock she's got going on, she looks so cool. also her hair?? idk how i did that. i love her swoopy bangs so much.
Pearl is moth. Pearl will always be Moth. so she got lil antennae and big buggy eyes. drawing that hood was so satisfying, i used to try and draw Raven Teen Titans in high school and could never get the hood to look right so seeing this one come out perfectly was sooooo good. and of course had to include a teensy moon.
that's all i've got, i think - i feel myself crashing LMFAO. maybe at some point i'll come back and say more but here's this for now!
#smallishbeans#ethoslab#bdoubleo100#grian#zombiecleo#inthelittlewood#itlw#ldshadowlady#geminitay#pearlescentmoon#trafficblr#life smp#🚦smp#vse.art#*#image description in alt#y'all doing the alt text for this was an ADVENTURE lmfao#popular? i know about popular.
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Ok I’ve never seen anyone with the same pazzi timeline as me so here it is lol also this is long asf and very detailed (yes I’m bored)
I think Paige prob had a crush on Azzi first, especially with her being a little bit older she might have already known she liked girls before meeting Azzi. I think Paige was probably azzi’s “gay awakening” if you will lol. But I think Paige might have even seen Azzi/thought she was cute before they officially met given how interconnected the basketball world is plus there was something on here about them having an overlap in Atlanta I think about a year before they officially met. But I think they became more than friends sooner than most people seem to think. I think they became more than friends (talking/fwb/situationship) whatever you want to call it, like almost immediately after meeting. Paige seemed to really be glued to Azzi during team USA era. So I think they became “more than just friends” in like 2017/early 2018. But especially being so young (Azzi would have been like 14/15 and Paige 15/16) and being long distance, and basketball being your #1 priority, AND coming to terms with your sexuality so young and with another person can make things complicated. But I believe they were only talking to/seeing each other all throughout high school. If someone tries to mention vinnie hacker to me, my answer is I just think Paige was trolling tbh 😭. But she obviously wasn’t out to the public yet in hs, and still isn’t technically but I mean it’s obvious lol, bc of her saying a guy as her celebrity crush in an interview I think her senior year. But I mean most of her family and close friends prob knew ab her and Azzi in hs given how close p & a were and how often they saw each other, while living states away. But yeah I’d say around 2020ish it became more serious, especially quarantining together they kinda got to play gfs/house together. I’m not quite sure if they were officially gfs at this time or just non official gfs, but I mean I’ve never named someone I’m just talking to or just fwb with as “💗” or called them my other half if we weren’t dating so… I think even when Paige first got to college they were just seeing each other bc of Azzi commenting how she missed Paige or something on tik tok and how she wanted to see her. Plus with Paige recruiting Azzi so hard I don’t think she would do that if they had “broken up” lol. But I guess sometime Paige’s freshman year she might have talked to other people. I wouldn’t be surprised if it happened or if it didn’t happen tbh. I’ve never seen solid proof of her talking with anyone else and I feel like if someone was talking to someone so famous we would all know about it lol. What I’m trying to say is she might have talked to other ppl but wasn’t really in a “talking stage”/in a relationship with anyone else ever. Also they both pretty much liked all of each others Instagram pics through hs and college so I don’t think they ever had a big fight/argument/falling out/breakup or whatever you want to call it. But yeah from my personal experience being so young and seeing a girl can kinda be confusing as to how that dynamic works (ex: who asks who out? How does it become official? Should we even tell anyone?) so it was probably just a kinda known thing that they were together in hs/early college years without the official label. But they both might have seen/talked to other people in like 2020/2021 but I don’t think they ever stopped seeing each other. Also I honestly would not be surprised if either of them have never really talked to/seen other people either so idk. But I think around mid 2022 (so like Azzi going into her sophomore year and Paige her junior year) they became officially girlfriends. This being because of how they interacted/posted with each other. Like the pic in Paige’s photo dump on tik tok of the old man with the flowers and her saying “how I’m trynna be” was crazy lol. So yeah and obviously the longer they date the more serious and obvious it’s going to be for the public and this summer idk if they had a conversation about being more open or if it just happened naturally that way but it’s quite obvious that they are together and have been for awhile.
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sorry this is referencing a few month old post/s you made about the dream situation and a question you’d asked about dream stans, you can delete this msg if you want since it’s not as relevant anymore. Again I’m sorry if this is weird or you don’t gaf (that’s fair bc who does lol)
TW for grooming and dream being fucking gross. You can just scroll fast and delete if you don’t want to read or deal with this, I understand that
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To preface Im about Tommy’s age now, when I was 15-17, used to be a huge dream stan, and I was very vocal about defending him online. —I was extremely parasocial and weird, and looking back on it I really regret how I acted.
So. Idk how much people who weren’t stans of his saw, but dream- as stupid as it sounds- was our friend.
He had bath calls with us, sleep calls with us, he told us in depth about his personal life and his health issues and his trauma and his moods and his habits and just basically everything. Most of his interactions with us was through his discord, and then someone in the fandom would stream his discord calls for people who weren’t there. A running joke was that dream had a parasocial relationship with us. there was absolutely no gap between creator and fan, he followed me more than once, he brought fans onto his discord streams and talked with them and he knew a good amount of us by name. He called us cute and talked about how much we all (as individuals) meant to him,
when drama happened he’d usually either do a space/call or go on his private and vent to us, there were I think two separate times he’d have full panic attacks over drama happening, and we’d have to talk him down. He also would, when responding to callouts or accusations, use arguments that his fans were making.
He did this during almost all his pitfalls, including the grooming allegations, his wording was often taken word for word from tweets by people I was friends with. I dropped him after the initial allegations, but for a while after i still checked in bc i was really hoping he’d be innocent (he wasn’t) and i can confirm he still does this. He also regularly dmed his fans, mostly his black fans, to ask for “help” on being less racist.
I don’t use the word “grooming” lightly, but dream was and is absolutely grooming his audience. Thats why dream stans seem so cult-like these days. The amount of guiltripping, lying, forcing an us vs them mentality, and manipulation I saw this man pull was actually sick. He’d frequently, privately, to us, vent about tommy or quackity, and about how “all his friends hated him” and “we were all he had left” (legit, not joking). He is extremely good at emotional blackmail, he is good at making his fans hate other creators and turn on them, he is very good at utilizing his tears and using wording that he knows will make his mostly teenage fanbase think he’s a good kind person.
He wants to impress on his fans that he really was just a kind person, the only kind person and the only voice of reason. That’s why when the Cantu thing happened, he started posting “messages” of him being so kind to the Uber driver. He needs his fans to think he’s a kind and loving person, and that Tommy and quackity and literally everyone who’s pulled away from him was just a fake friend who couldn’t be trusted. He somehow was always, always the one being fucked over.
I remember when I told my friend about dream (this friend had a completely neutral opinion on him and barely knew the guy beyond his manhunts) and he told me that sounded like grooming.
He gradually isolated his (primarily young, female) fanbase using private accounts, discord calls, Snapchat, and whatever else. He got extremely personal with us far beyond the level any creator should be, he used kindness and flattery (like calling us “mature”. Also legit) to make us feel genuinely loved by him, again, NOT in the way a creator loves their fans. In the way a friend loves their friends, even in the way a partner loves their partner. He lashed out at us and had panic attacks when we did criticize him, he used tactics to make us think he was always right and good, and more than that, make all his detractors seem like terrible people out to get him AND us, he played himself out to be the perpetual victim and used carefully cut clips and emotional manipulation (like how he brought up his ~poor innocent family~ when harassing quackity. Weaponizing trauma like that was something he did ALL THE TIME to us whenever he was criticized.) in order to use us against people he didn’t like, making us take the bullet for him.
He uses his kindness and supposed goodness as a weapon, he used Tommy’s own trauma around doxxing against him when Tommy dared to criticize him (“I supported you when you were getting doxxed, yet you won’t do the same for me?”)
He used trauma to relate to his audience, making us feel like he was the only person who got it.
It’ll sound stupid, but it was genuinely really scarring. The way he made me and my friends feel was so confusing. I often found myself feeling used and violated, but also like I was in debt to him. I dreaded when he’d have fans on call, I dreaded him but also he felt like all I had. The tone of him and the fandom was that “we have to defend him at all costs, they’re out to get him and we’re the last line of support he has”. It was embarrassing, it was stressful, it was horrible. I wasted so much fucking time and energy on him.
it was really traumatic and distressing, especially as a teenager who’d already been at a vulnerable point and used him as an escape originally. I know that sounds melodramatic but I mean it.
He is a groomer through and through. He’s barely getting any new fans, but he’s barely losing any either bc the grasp he has on them is so tight.
Worst of all, if you leave the fandom, you’ll lose your friends and become an enemy. He encourages that behaviour and that mentality. He encourages harassment of his ex-friends, he encourages harassment of anyone who doesn’t like him. He wants you to feel like he’s the only good person, and like he’s the only one who will care about you. And I know at least in my experience that the way I acted when I was a fan of his did genuinely cause me to feel alienated in my social life. I lost friends, I felt like I couldn’t talk to anyone “safely”. That’s how he wants his fans to feel, because at some point he really is all you have.
And that’s why dream stans are still sticking around. It’s at the point where the only way they’ll leave is on their own volition, and the more publicly fucked shit he does, the less hope I have that they’ll do that.
i don’t have much to add but i agree, and several people i know who used to be big dream fans also agreed that there was a heavily insidious ‘us vs them’ atmosphere
#alex.rambles.txt#alex.asks.txt#sorry you went through that btw it sounds really shit#i think a lot of (especially younger) dream stans are in similar positions sometimes#ofc some of tjem are just normal people who just Don’t care about the reprehensible shit#but i think for a lot of people its escapism just like the rest of this community. and the entresoi aspect makes it even more alienating#mcyt#discourse#tw grooming#dream situation
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Topic: Genshin impact.
au: Sagau.
idea: So what if you had the powers of every character you played as in every game you played and then get isekaid into genshin impact with imposter au. I imagine it goes smth like
Zhongli: “I will have order!”
reader, Who played Roblox as someone who lagged the game (explanation: I’m pretty sure ping is also how time works in games. If you can control the flow of ping you can control the flow of time in games.): “ZA WARUDO!”
Heyyy!! Thanks for waiting for the reply/response from my slow ass :0
So they did clarify what they meant/expand so imma just copy paste that here!
“k now I remember. So basically imma write it here since it’s easier: Basically you don’t have to (but you can) transform into the character that has those set of powers but if you do those powers are enhanced.”
Sun: Reader (”you”/they/them)
Orbit: Headcanons-ish, Light Imposter AU (as in, NOT Yandere/Dark), mild crossover elements bc Shapeshifter Shenanigans™️
Stars: bro idek
Comets & Meteors: Content Warnings: mild cussing, genshin typical mild violence, & Trigger Warnings: none known.
Please comment if I missed any. /gen
☆
so fair warning,, ive never seen jojo bizarre, but i appreciate i come off well-read/watched? LMAO
so im just gonna kinda,, guess? like just cycle thru diff. random media, and im hoping both me and you reading this will have a fun time (as this is a little challenge, but i like it so ill give it a shot, dont kno if its a good one but- 😅)
so to set the scene, of how u got to this point, ykno of running like ur life (maybe?) depends on u running around different teyvat countries,
u thought it was weird everyone knew a little too much about you?? (ofc theyve heard u during gaming, they know u the same way we all know Markiplier, get it?)
then a bunch of NPCs/Vision users/Archons?? were REALLY invested in talking to you, which freaked u out even more
and by the time you saw Zhongli, yknow, just the oldest god in game, making a fast-walk towards you, ykno the retired god who didnt move an inch when an old water god attacked Liyue for a test, is now hurrying to you???
ur logically get so fucking scared sm shits abt to go down, u just start running
it isnt until ur reaching for a ledge and some webbing shoots out of ur arm (from a glitchy little spot on ur arm, where it could be coming out of ur skin, but sometimes its a blue and red bracelet)
it latched onto the nearest building, and thats how u find out u can grapple ur way, literally Spiderman style, out of the harbor
and bro, idk if it would be fun, or confusing and stressful, or maybe both?? to just find out u can use any video game power from any game youve played before as you go running from countries bc for some freaky reason they know too much abt you/are pursuing you-
dUDE- they had small statues of you in like every little section of their cities
u head to Mondstadt and as Venti comes screaming and flying at you (in excitement, but ur freaked), u go to hold a hand up and suddenly ur holding a heavy stone tablet that unleashes some holographic yellow chains that freeze him in place-?? why is this familiar-
oh my god u have the sheikah slate from Breath of the Wild,
and as ur booking it out of there, u manage to get ahold of a sword, and u know exactly how to use it to knock back favonius knights trying to stop you (they are concerned for their god who is just unleashing random powers on ppl, pls let Grandmaster Jean just talk to you Your Majesty-!!)
by the time you teleport ur way to Inazuma, (bc u still have this worlds access to ur player/traveler’s powers), ur trying to find a nice place to stay for a little bit
at least in that sweet spot of the Raiden not noticing/finding you, while things cool down on the main continent, before moving on,
and u get some tools to help fashion just a little shelter, bc u dont have any money/mora rn, and ur able to literally build a house???
a mailbox pops up and thanks you for renting with Tom Nook???? As in Animal Crossing-
and rlly if the BOTW/slate thing didnt clue u into video game powers, then this definitely would tbh lmao
right as u see Yae Miko circling ur house, with an armful of books? ..is she planning to thru them at you??, u get the hell out of dodge before her favorite god can follow along
(she knows ur prefrences in books and got authors/trends to start so youd have plenty to read, and she was making sure it was ur house before politely dropping them off! how was she to know thatd spook their favorite God, Ei?!)
u get to Sumeru and think ur safe, hiding in an abandoned forest watcher outpost (1 person treehouse rlly) when Nahida shows up in ur dreams,
and u just,
walk out of the dream, into reality, and possess a nearby ruin guard so u can sleep in peace, bc she cant access a robot,
that one baffled u as you re-possessed ur own body before realizing-
Five Nights at Freddy’s. 💀
U cant do that forever, so u try Fontaine, hoping Neuvillette/Furina wont rlly give af abt you, plus theyre the latest region, so maybe they have the least exposure to whatever the other archons didnt like abt you??
u get there and are immediately summoned to court, and right as the mekas show up to escort you, jfc they have a mecha army
(meanwhile, theyre thinking, yknow. high profile guest/our god of gods. ofc we need state of the art mekas to escort them, its only polite-)
meanwhile ur cape has now become wings, and a mask covers ur face as you glide and fly ur way over the city in an attempt to get to where u assume Snezhnaya is
it doesnt occur to you the game until ur running out of stamnia and catch ur reflection in the waters of fontaine, Sky: Children of the Light
u hope the Tsaritsa’s dislike for other gods/Celestia doesnt extend to ur otherworldly presence so ur just hoping for the best atp tbh
tbh youd forget what all powers you have, and the absolute chaos ur causing urself as u try to desperately rememeber what games youve played thru ur entire life is NOT helping to reduce confusion when u randomly wake up with elf ears (legend of zelda/botw) or get dragged into another ruin machine when u fall asleep/faint/do smth u guess mimics death lmao- (fnaf) 💀
…
(meanwhile the Tsaritsa does get wind ur coming this way, and just, makes the people have a parade/festival to celebrate you coming,
she did also have to get Pierro/Captaino to physically restrain some of them from going ahead to meet/escort you to the palace, she’d heard how the others scared u off, and was, ironically, hoping the warm welcome would clear things up)
☆
well that was, something. 😃🫠
sorry lil car, that was such a fun idea idk if i did it justice!! i thought itd be too op to include every media youve consumed ever, so i kept it to video games, (which, could u cheat the system if youve played smash bros??)
i hope it was at least a decent read, and sorry im half asleep so i was not v funny this time around, but, again, hope u got smth out of it 😭
</3
on another note, im having my wisdom teeth surgery this friday, send whatever u got my way, prayers, blessings, good vibes, ill take anything im nervous 🙃
have a good week guys!
Safe Travels Lil Car,
💀♒
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#genshin isekai#sagau#genshin sagau#genshin imagines#genshin impact#my asks#genshin impact sagau#genshin x reader#aqua asks#aqua chats#10/10 rlly fun idea#this was fun to juggle and even tho i feel like i kinda flopped it#it was still a fun idea for future sagau endeavors tbh#:) <3#no but srsly im getting wisdom teeth surgery pls send everything good u got my way im nervous#its just intimidating to be knocked out and drugged up what can i say#might even write some sagau angst abt it when im languishing my fate in bed afterwards
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answering these in one go
i got Sugar off a craigslist ad in 2016. she was listed for $9k but i got her for $8800, the seller knocked down the price literally just because he was nice and could tell i loved the car so much 🥹 my bank wouldn't let me pull out all the cash at once so i drove her home and paid him that Monday which is CRAZY but he trusted me to pay him and i did
when i first got her she didn't have power steering or power brakes (turned like a land yacht and stopped when she felt like it) so that was the first thing to address. fixed the horn and some other minor stuff that needed it. i also made the decision to replace the carburetor with EFI, which is kind of controversial in the classic car world lol but it's more fuel efficient
the EFI i had installed actually gave me the most problems over the years it was ALWAYS having issues and breaking down. but i recently had it reinstalled by someone who is NOT an idiot and I've had no problems for like 2 solid years I'm so fucking glad lol now she's more reliable than ever
she has a 350 small block V8 and auto transmission since she's my daily driver and allows for the smoothest ride possible as a commuter car. i don't race but she is fast lmao. I've never put pedal to metal but I've gotten her up to 80mph before without even flooring it so 😭 she can fucking Go lol. she kind of defaults to 30mph coasting so i have to have my foot on the brake to keep the speed limit in residentials
what else uhhh the cabin smells so good.... i love old car smell. I'm so lucky in her 53 years of being on the road she's apparently never had an owner that smoked inside the car i would have gone crazy if it smelled like cigarettes in there lmao
she has bench seats in the front and back which are like two little sofas. i used to nap back there on breaks when i was still working at a studio.
she has no airbags and you have to tighten the seatbelts yourself. there's an over the shoulder belt and separate waist belt. the passenger shoulder belt you gotta tug on after clicking it bc sometimes it comes loose on its own 😭 she is a death machine with no crumple zone so if i crash i will die 👍🏾 but I'm a very cautious driver and i don't even drive that much sooo IT'S FINE
she is very low tech besides the EFI and if there's ever an engine problem u can literally just look under the hood and mess with stuff until it's fixed. it's very spacious in there with a lot of room to poke around. cars in the 70s were made to last and because they are still so beloved to this day there's endless info online from enthusiasts about fixing stuff that pops up. some companies are still making new parts for classics so we don't have to dig through junkyards when we need replacements... unless u want to ofc, the hunt can be fun too LOL
i get people waving me down daily to ask me what year she is and tell me they used to have a Nova when they were younger or knew someone that did and how much they loved them and IDK IT'S SWEET!! ppl are always so happy to see her......... the antithesis of the cybertruck
thanks for reading here's some thirst traps
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still thinking about the trump voter I talked to the other day who was like "well the democrats have had four years to fix things," as proof that clearly they weren't doing that so they weren't worth voting for. and I just. do you think the democrats are our friends? do you think they're a bunch of saints? they're politicians! where did your cynicism go, man, the whole system is corrupt and dishonest and we've always known this. the difference is in degree. the difference is in what they do BESIDES and DESPITE the corruption.
god I just. idk I think this next complaint is old as dirt but people have GOT to stop thinking about politicians as friendly folks who are on your side. miss me with that. you can get that on a local level sometimes, but on a state or federal level, you will have a few radical outliers if you're lucky. a politician is not a buddy. a politician is a person who has power over your life, and a politician is a person doing a job, and it does not and has never fucking mattered if they're someone you could hang out and shoot the shit with! that is not part of their job! that is not the part of your life they have power over! they are not your friends!
the democrats have not fixed the country bc a) there are too many forces working against that, b) fixing a country is a convoluted goddamn problem and it'd take decades, not years, and c) they don't necessarily care all that much! they're just people doing a job! they care mostly about keeping their jobs!
look, there are probably a lot of politicians who do care deeply about helping people. there are also lots of politicians who don't give a fuck, but do a great job pretending they care deeply about helping people because they know that's how they'll get votes. I fundamentally do not care which one of these two people is in power so long as they pass and enforce laws that help people. yeah it'd be nice to have the first person, but so long as shit gets done we'll call it a win.
because there's a third, way more common type of politician, who not only doesn't give a fuck, but knows how to get ahead without actually following through on a single campaign promise. that politician is saying all the right things, just like the other two, but they don't pass a single helpful law and instead will pass a bunch of, like, food safety deregulations in exchange for cash from large companies that don't want to worry about health inspectors.
you know what keeps us safe from that? it's when 'doing some useful things for society sometimes' is a good way for a politician to keep their job. otherwise we will end up with no politicians who do useful things for society, out of sheer natural selection.
I'm just venting at this point but god. since when do we believe politicians are good people. obama was a godsend for this country and this world, he achieved so much good, and also he never so much as shut down guantanamo bay. the bar is in hell. the bar is in hell, and every single politician running for office will tell you otherwise, and we have got to stop listening to that and look at what they do. and keep demanding they do better, instead of replacing them with people who will do worse just because at least it's a brand new grifter.
#finx rambles#I am so sick of this#this man is older than my father and grew up in a military dictatorship#how his he falling for friggin ~anti-woke~ rhetoric like the greatest threat to society is political correctness#who fucking cares what we're calling each other. I want civil rights
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Another continuation to my list of random thoughts and reactions to STH3
(Part 3🫠)
!spoilers ahead duh!
- NOOOOOOO TOM!!!! HE CANT BE DEAD!!! SHADOW DID NOT JUST KILL TOM (I was literally shaking AND oh was I on the brink of tears too aakdjsjsnjs)
- more parallels 😭
- omg the new suits looking like how they do in the games o yaaaaas
- uhm someone care to help eggman he looks like he’s having a seizure
- okay now I definitely feel bad for stone :(
- idk why but this part in the movie I could NOT stop rambling to myself about it
It was after the ambulance had driven away with tom and maddie
How Sonic was just filled with so much anger and hurt he was willing to break the promise he made with his team about not using the M.E
Knuckles ofc was fully against the idea as using the M.E could be too dangerous, especially using it for something like vengeance. Then also saying that Sonic is in no right to make any decisions esp in his emotional state
Because emotions (especially anger) can cloud your judgement. you’re not always thinking straight therefore leading to irrational decision making
And knuckles, always being known as the hothead, short tempered, sometimes leaping into battles with just fists and no brain. He of all people probably knows what happens when you make decisions based off your emotions
And iirc doesn’t the power of the Master Emerald (or the chaos emeralds) reflects (or is based of) the person’s heart? Having someone who is feeling a whole pile of negative emotions wield such power can have severe consequences (which I’m pretty sure has already been demonstrated)
But anyways Sonic couldn’t care at the moment, he was even fine with going solo if no one “had the guts” Hecc, he was even ready to throw hands with Knux just to win it over and I was like “oh shiz it’s gonna be STH2 all over again” cuz y’know they both got all charged up
But then Knuckles was reminded about the OTHER half of their promise…to trust each other, and he was going to make sure he kept that promise even if Sonic broke it on his end, even if Sonic chooses to go with what could be a very reckless choice. When knux swears a ✨sacred oath✨ he is bound to keep it regardless.
So he stands down and lets Sonic have his way
Idk did that not just scream maturity or character development to you?? Bc knux usually wouldn’t make a stretch like this esp with the M.E. Idk maybe I looked too far into it help
(Also I’m not in any way condemning Sonic for being the way he was…poor guy has been thru a lot from dealing with another hedgehog, to 2 eggmen, GUN, and now his “dying” father. He has every right to be pissed)
- oh is it who I think it is-
- OH MY GOSH WADE HAHAHAHA YESSSSS THE NEW FEARSOME GUARDIAN OF THE MASTER EMERALD ALL QUIVER BEFORE HIM
- BUDDY YOU DIDNT EVEN LOOK LIKE YOU TRIED-
- NAAAAA NO MORE SAD FLASHBACKS :(
- OH STUFF’S ABOUT TO GET REAL
- SUPER SHADOW ENTERED THE CHAT!!!!
- SONIC JUST PUNCHING SHADOW ACROSS THE WORLD DAAAAYYUUUUMM BROS ON A WHOLE NEW LEVEL OF VIOLENCE
🎶Brazil, Morocco, London to Ibiza-🎶 (shh it’s totally accurate)
- I’m crying WHAT IS THIS SORCERY
- SONIC SHED A TEAR I REPEAT SONIC SHED A TEAR I SAW IT
- ahh yes beautiful trauma bonding
- OMG OKAY ITS HAPPENING EVERYBODY STAY CALM
- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
- LIVE AND LEARRRRNNNNNN
- old people and insects…
- BANGER SCENE + BANGER SONG = PEAK CINEMA PT.2
- THEY DID THE THING!!!
- oop there goes eggman
- WAIT WHERE DID TAILS AND KNUCKLES COME FROM DID I MISS SOMETHING?
- lmfao Gerald gets his ass zapped by his grandson and then incinerated by pure chaos energy the karma is reallll but uhm rest in pepperonis ig
- THEY PISSED ON THE FREAKING MOOOOOOOON
- AAAAAHHHHH TAILS SEES HIS BIG BRO PLUMMETING TO HIS DOOM AND-
HES IN TEARS IM UNWELL
- YESSSS GO SAVE YOUR BUDDY!!!!
- sayonara Shadow the Hedgehog and Dr.Robotnik 🫡
- NOOOO TAILS LOSING CONSCIOUS YOU TRIED ITS OKAY
- YEEEAAAAHHHHH HERE COMES KNUCKLES TO SAVE BOTH HIS LIL BROTHERS!!!!! 💪💪💪
- TEAM HUG AWWWWW LETS GO
- DONUT LORD IS ALIIIIIVEEEE YESSSS
- MORE DOGGY TRANSLATIONS :D
yes ozzy u get all the loveeee
- YES WE GET THE REAL RACE THIS TIME TO TOP IT OFF
- I love this movie
- *proceeds to jam out to the credits*
- welcome to the SCU Amy 🩷 ALSO GURL UR SO PRETTY WOWZERS
- I need STH4 NOW
#sonic the hedgehog#sonic movie 3 spoilers#sonic movie 3#sonic movie#sth#sonic wachowski#miles tails prower#tails wachowski#knuckles the echidna#knuckles wachowski#shadow the hedgehog#movie shadow#movie sonic#movie tails#movie knuckles#tom wachowski#maddie wachowski#dr eggman#ivo robotnik#gerald robotnik#maria robotnik#amy rose#movie amy
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