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#idk how do you go from being with someone for 5/6 years and being so close. closer than what was healthy
solemnv0id · 2 days
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Monsterverse au where almost everything is the same except Godzilla can just become a guy whenever he feels like it
some rambles about the au under cut
ok hai idk what sparked in my brain to come up with this idea but I just think it would be very funny to see how a guy who fucks up cities on the regular would deal with being in a city and trying to figure out how the fuck society works
in this au, whenever he either turns back into Godzilla or goes into guy mode (which is the term I’ve decided for when referring to him changing to his human form), a massive cloud of mist forms around him. So while people don’t know that this guy in particular is Godzilla, they do know that if a cloud of mist suddenly appears and you didn’t see Godzilla anywhere beforehand, it’s time to panic.
There’s usually 2 main reasons why he turns into a person
One is boredom. There’s a shocking lack of things for the king of the monsters to do when there’s no monsters to beat up, he’s not tired, and is fully fed so has decided to spend some of his free time figuring what the hell these humans are getting up to these days
Two is quick maneuvering. It generally throws other monsters way off guard when the guy they’re fighting just vanishes in a cloud of mist.
also for funsies here’s some facts about goji in this au because it’s funny
1) Very good at picking up languages,,,verbally. His ass canNOT read.
2) Doesnt understand the point of paper money and credit cards. Only thing he somewhat understands is coins because “at least they’re nice and shiny”
3) In this version of KOTM, when he was getting final wars’d by Ghidorah he briefly went into guy mode in order to get out of there but couldn’t stay like it for long because yknow he was about to explode
4) Sleeps in loads of different spots bc who knew there’s so many more places to sleep when you’re not the size of a wonder of the world, and like what people gonna do? Move him?
5) Pretty much all his prior knowledge of humanity before deciding that exploring cities is cool is from eavesdropping the humans that were in that weird Atlantis place in KOTM and still remembers how to speak their language, only problem is that that culture and language has been dead for several thousand years so it’s not super helpful these days.
6) Thinks straws are a top 10 human invention
7) Chilled in Japan for a bit before 2014 happened and was given the name Tamaki which is what he uses to introduce himself since he didn’t know for a while that people called him Godzilla and even if he knew, telling people your name is Godzilla or Gojira makes them look at you funny
8) He can still use his atomic breath in guy mode but it’s usually by accident, like he sneezes a bit to hard and lasers a bit of a building by accident
9) For some reason is always surprised when people guess his age because they usually guess like,,, late 30s, early 40s and not several hundred thousand years old for some reason (his ass has no clue how long human life spans are due to both his lack of knowledge on them and the fact his perception of time is kinda fucked, he thinks they’re at least 1000 years)
10) Knows about Monarch but just generally views them as annoying bastards that don’t leave him alone (except Serizawa, he thinks about that one moment a lot). Also Monarch knows about the fact he can go guy mode but they haven’t been able to identify which guy he becomes.
11) Can still breathe underwater in guy mode (he still has his gills on his neck but you can’t see them bc of his hair) and will sometimes chill in the ocean whenever he decides that humanity has pissed him off for whatever reason
12) Will never deny that he’s Godzilla, he might not admit he is but if someone asks he won’t say that he isn’t, he just might indirectly say yes
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pepprs · 2 years
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crying again lol ok
#purrs#and posting online abt it so i get immediate validation / support instead of asking for help from anyone im close to i know. but god fucking#damn it to hell. ok im going to be candid about this because it hurts so fucking bad. five years ago i met someone so important to me. and I#miss her so so so so much. and every space here i have a memory with her in. and she left in July and she’s gone. and im sobbing my eyes out#FOR WHY because it was over 6 months ago and im happier and she’s happier and we’re all happier. but i think im getting some aftershocks#being here for the first time without her exactly 5 years to the week we met: when she was so important to me. she was the whole reason i#even saw myself as something. and she’s fucking gone. she left. but she’s not dead like LMAO idk why im crying so hard when i could just#text her any time and tell her that i miss her. but idk. it’s just everything is stirring memories and they’re painful to think about now or#at least today because she’s gone and it all changed. i was just saying that i feel like im not having any emotions and tonight the grief ju#just rammed into me like a train and my fucking counselor sucks ass and won’t even help me work through it and everyone is busy and tired an#and im a staff coach so im not supposed to be having a fuckjng mental breakdown over **** pacing around in my bathroom at 1:23am but ive be#been thinking about her so much and remembering all the formative interactions i had with her here and missing her so much i want to explode#and die and p*ke and whatever. so stupid to cry about it but i fucking miss her. and i hate that she’s not here. and i’m trying so hard to b#be her but i have to be me but i can’t not have what she brought here and im just crashi ng and burning and can’t be honest and im having a#breakdown and crying so hard and i don’t know what to do. i ithink i’ll be fine after some sleep and reflection but my heart is like seizing#on itself right now and nothing takes my mind off it and i just keep crying LMFAOOOOOO. i hate it here#delete later#like how can you look at me like that and then fuck off to ****** 4.5 years later. you know? im about to punch a hole into the hallway#and i have to be quiet bc ppl are trying to sleep but it’s making me fucking crazy.#retreat tag
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fmab · 2 years
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insane personal rambling below in the tags. hm. sorry !
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theconstantsidekick · 2 months
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I have so many questions for season 4
Reginald was an alien. They knew that and then they came back to life after he tried to murder them and just… never asked him about it? They were like ‘yeah cool wtv’?
How does Claire know that Klaus is immortal? Is she aware of everyone’s powers? Did Alison tell her all about her dysfunctional super family?
WHY DOES LUTHER GO SEMI APE MODE FROM THE MARIGOLD? It wasn’t a part of his original powers!
Why is the marigold they take this season janky? Like why do they get sick? Did Reginald’s wife spike it? Or was it simply that they consumed it as fully grown adults instead of being born with it?
How did Reginald control so much of the US of A?? Like his people are literally leading the charge against Jean and Gene? How?
Why did that girl break up with Viktor? What do you mean he knows? I wanna know too!
What was up with the hotel in season 3? Why did have that samurai thing? Idk I’m lost
WHO THE FUCK BUILT THE SUBWAY STATION THAT FIVE BLINKED TO? THERE WAS A MAP SO CLEARLY SOMEONE BUILT IT, right? RIGHT?
How did Five and Lila spend 7 years on that fucking train and never run across another version of Five?
Why is there a Five Doppelgänger Owned Deli in that subway station? Are we meant to understand that in several other timelines he loses his powers, ingests “janky” Marigold and then gets this specific power? Or was this part of his original power set and he just never discovered it? If so, then why was the colour his blinking aura changed to purple from his usual blue? What is happening?
How did Claire and Lila and Diego’s kids survive without ALISON, DIEGO AND LILA NEVER HAVING EXISTED? I don’t think that’s how genetics work???
Why do we only see a fucking field of the original timeline… is there nothing else in that world or…?
Does Klaus know how Ben died? Seeing as he could talk to, you know, BEN?? Did he ever tell his siblings? If not? If he too were brainwashed, did og Ben never tell him the truth?
WHO THE FUCK WAS THAT BEN ON THE SUBWAY, READING A BOOK AND WEARING GLASSES? Who was that? What was the point of seeing him in the post credit scene for season3 and then NEVER EVER AGAIN?
Why are any of them so invested in saving Sparrow Ben? He’s mostly a dick? Did they get some development off screen????
How did one version of Five establish the Commission and never hire any other version of Five than the one we saw? If he did, did he keep track of all the Fives under his employment? To make sure to avoid any paradoxes?
There is a 6 year time jump but when Viktor asks Alison if she’s double crossing them again by teaming up with Reginald, Alison categorically says, “I haven’t met the man in 5 years”…. Does that mean she used to go over to the mansion for brunch every Sunday for a year?
Where the fuck did that man with a goldfish for his head come from? Why did he have an entire body?
Why did Lila get a family but no one else did?
WHY DID JENNIFER COME OUT OF A FUCKING SQUID?
Why does Diego not have all the skills he should from all the training he was put through? Also why is he called fat the entire season only to be shown to have WASHBOARD ABS!!?
I’m sure there are logical answers to some of these but I don’t know any.
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mntalbrakdown · 2 years
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pocket size - P. Hynes White
masterlist
mentions of: height? idk let me know if you find any!
synopsis: percy liked that you are shorter than him
a/n: i’m no longer writing for him so plz no hate!!!!
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12 inches. a whole foot shorter. you were 5”2 and Percy was 6”2. he liked how he could tower you. he liked the way you would have to look up at him. he especially appreciated when it was sunny outside because you would have to look up and the sun would catch your eyes making you scrunch your face. he also enjoyed how your hands would be wayyyy smaller than his. but out of all these things, his favorite thing about how short you were was putting his head on top of yours and wrapping his hands around your waist.
You and Percy have been dating for a year. you bumped into him in a pharmacy, trying to develop your film. Percy was waiting next to you holding his camera and you with yours.
“you take pictures” he tries to start a conversation with a girl he found attractive
“yeah, just started with this, I have an actual camera,” you say smiling weakly
“I think you should keep using a disposable camera so we could bump into one another more often,” he says trying to secure a date with you
“or you could just ask for my number” a date you wanted
“would Instagram be included in that bundle” he tried to stalk you, he tried to find out who you were as a person
“or maybe on the other hand I actually don’t have a number” you try to joke
“no don’t be like that” he’s a little flustered now
a few days later after that interaction, you were on a date. after that date led to more dates than asking for you to be his officially. it was nice to have someone to call yours and be excited to hang out with whenever possible.
—-
“ready to head out,” Percy says wrapping his hands around your waist as you’re putting on the final touches of your makeup and hair
“yeah, one second,” you say putting on some perfume that Percy got you during his time in Romania. it was vanilla-scented. your favorite
you were ready to go out on your date. the date was a dinner and you wanted to bet Percy that he was going to move your seat next to his to be able to sit next to you.
right, when you were seated across from each other Percy gets up and moves his chair in the middle asking you to do the same and you did. the thing is that you thought that the distance between the two of you was perfect, but in Percy's eyes he thought differently, he scooted your chair so his practically touched. the whole night after was him with his arm around your shoulder or his hand lying on your thigh.
—-
during car rides, Percy likes to put his hand on your lap. squeezing it and making his fingers dance around. when it was summer he liked how you would dangle your head out the window. how your hair would dance in the wind.
he also liked how in the winter you would bundle up and wear his hoodies because they were so warm but you secretly liked the smell of them. he liked that you would wear the hood and sit on the car seat with yours legs held to your chest because you were so cold.
—-
he never cared about the arts really until he met you. he liked being able to take pictures of you in his bed in a small form but never liked actually making the art. he never learned from the lessons that Netflix made him do.
he liked how you would look when putting your head on his bicep. while you would observe the art. he would have you wrapped around his arms. his head on top of yours. you would talk about all the details of the painting and he would listen nodding and humming in amusement.
one thing the two of you had in common was liking films. every Tuesday heading to the closest AMC theatre. you would watch films and analyze them together afterward.
the theatre had reclining seats and you could move the middle cup holder up so the both of you could cuddle together. and that’s what you did.
every film no matters if it was scary or not you would lie on his chest while he wrapped his arms around you. (the same way you both slept) you liked the way his heart would beat speed up when he would look down on you. you could tell because his head would move around. and you could tell his shit-eating grin was on his face once again.
of course, afterward, you would talk about the film going back to your shared place. he would laugh at your theories of the film. he would play your theories in his head on the way to sleep and they would always make sense.
—-
he also liked baking with you. he liked how you would move around a lot and get the batter on your face somehow. he liked that you had your hair back in a messy style and would have an apron on. sleeves rolled up ready to take on whatever you were doing
“perc! I need your help” you yelled and saw him resting his body on the wall that splits your living room from the kitchen
“what do you need my highness” he bows down
“I need you to get me the pink bowl on the top right cabinet” you point to the thing causing your pissed-off state.
you never understood why he never got you a stool. maybe he liked being of help and being able to be in your bubble while you bake. because he never once got in the way of your work.
he never once let you put the pan into the oven because he was scared you would burn yourself. which never happened when you were on your own.
“why can’t I do it,” you ask feeling like all the work he has done
“don’t want you to get burnt,” he says opening the oven and putting in the pan
“there are mittens for a reason, y’know they aren’t decorations”
“but you look so pretty all healthy and smooth,” he says getting the brown batter from your nose and licking his finger clean
he liked cleaning up with you. playing with bubbles and splashing you with water. he grew in love with your face, he grew to be able to read your facial expressions. enough being said he could read how pissed you were but he knew to not mess around anymore.
waiting for the pastry was enjoyable. he liked waiting on the couch with you. you were in between his legs and your head rested on his chest. you would scroll on your phone and Percy would watch. when the pastry was ready you both would always burn yourselves it was like you never learned. and you would both laugh at each other. but it was enjoyable and you both would finish it in a day.
—-
the get-together was at his place. it was strictly just the cast. they slowly started to pile in through the door. he was excited to be reunited with them. he found the friends that he loved. and you were happy for him. as he greeted everyone he was ready to sit down on the couch and you were close behind. he was holding your hand guiding you to your seat.
another thing Percy was extremely mad about was you sitting on his lap. no matter if there was plenty of space everywhere else. he loved sitting with you. he especially did this when you were laying on the couch watching some TikToks and he would make you get up and lay on top of him. it would make you go crazy and not in a good way. but it made him happy so you let it slide.
“so how long have you two dated” hunter asked
“About two years,” Percy says playing with your hair. twisting it and fiddling with it between his two fingers
Emma was trying to get your attention. she thought you were interesting. she liked the way you probably have a lot to say but just keep to yourself. she knew deep down you were funny because well you were dating Percy.
“what’s something that Percy has done here that no one else knows about,” Emma asks looking directly at you. you start laughing at the thought
“no-“ Percy says trying to hold you from saying it
“he…he sings t swift when he’s bored” Percy tried to cover your mouth before you finished the sentence, but it was too late because what you said was out and everyone was laughing
“so- uh- so who wants to play uno” Percy says trying to move the conversation
wanting to get the Uno cards that were under the coffee table. in a red tin box that once contained chocolates, Percy got you for valentines day. once you got it you were walking to his kitchen. all the seats were taken and Percy put you on his lap. he shuffled the cards and something about that no matter who did it, was attractive. Percy however liked the way your hands made the Uno cards look humongous while he made them look tiny.
“Are you both teaming?” Jenna asked
“should we” Percy whispers in your ear sending butterflies straight to your stomach
“Sure,” you say kissing his cheek and everyone started teaming up.
halfway through the game, Percy has half the deck with him.
“I should've never teamed with you” you laugh at just seeing the cards
“I’ll make us win don’t worry” he had his eyes wide like he was determined. and that he was because he always kept his promises to you.
and by the end of the night you both did. he liked the way your eyes would sparkle with joy that only lit up with winning. how you would wrap your hands around him and laugh.
—-
one thing Percy hated was high heels. it was like they were enemies. you never understood it. it wasn’t like you would get whiny about the heels hurting you. in fact it was the opposite. you would run dance jump all of it and all Percy’s face was saying is how much he hated those things giving you height.
he liked that you would have to tip-toe for him but those were easy access they took one of his favorite things about you. and if he could he would destroy them all.
he liked that at the end of the day, you would dress in his clothes to go to bed. it was practically a nightgown for you. he liked how you would clean your face and make sure you felt clean. he liked the way you would be ready to go to bed and not even act like you didn’t want to be by him. because you did you wanted him to wrap his arms around you because it is reassuring and comforting. and wake up in that same form in the morning.
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lefteagleblizzard · 20 days
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𝔙𝔢𝔦𝔩 𝔬𝔣 𝔣𝔢𝔞𝔯
Mike Schmidt X male reader
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This was requested from a really nice person on tumblr: “I completely fell in love with your Mike Schmidt x male reader, and I have an idea for part four, if you make one. So you know how in the movie the aunt hires Max and her brother to mess with Mike's job. Well, what if the aunt hires someone to break into Mike's house on a night when y/n is babysitting Abby. Idk really just seemed like an ok idea.” Hope I was able to satisfy your request.
Tags: Part 4 of this miniseries of Mike Schmidt x male reader. No use of Y/N. Age-gap (5 years) between you and Mike. Male reader. He/him pronouns used towards the reader. Smut at the start. Top Mike. Bottom reader. Reader being called “good boy”. Blowjob (reader giving). Angst. Some small fight scenes.
Words count: 6000 words
If you have an idea for part 5, please let me know <3. I love spending time in reading others opinions
Can also be found on wattpad and ao3
Part 1-part 2-part 3-Part 5-Part 6
The evening was cloaked in a heavy, golden light, the last rays of the setting sun casting long shadows across the small, familiar space of Mike's home. The day had been long, and you could see the weight of it in the way Mike's shoulders slumped, the fatigue etched in the lines of his face. He was standing in the living room, one hand resting on the back of the worn-out couch, the other rubbing the back of his neck in a gesture that spoke of his tension and exhaustion.
Abby was already tucked away in her room, engrossed in some cartoon on the television at full volume, her laughter occasionally ringing out. You watched Mike for a moment, your heart aching with the silent burdens he carried, the unspoken fears that clouded his thoughts.
He hadn't noticed you yet, his mind clearly elsewhere as he stared out the window, lost in thought. You approached him quietly, your steps soft on the wooden floor. When you reached him, you gently placed a hand on his arm, feeling the warmth of his skin through the fabric of his worn jacket.
His head turned to look at you, and for a moment, the stress in his eyes softened, replaced by something warmer.
You stepped into the room quietly, not wanting to startle him, though he must have sensed your presence because he looked up, offering you a tired but warm smile "Hey," he greeted softly, his voice rough with exhaustion.
"Hey," you replied, stepping closer until you were standing beside him. You reached out, gently placing a hand on his arm, feeling the warmth of his skin beneath your fingertips. "You look like you could use a break."
Mike let out a heavy sigh, the kind that seemed to come from the very depths of his soul. He nodded, but the motion was half-hearted, as if he was trying to convince himself as much as you. "Yeah, just...' a lot on my mind," he admitted, his voice low and rough, tinged with exhaustion
He let out a heavy sigh, his eyes flicking to the paperwork before meeting yours again "Yeah, it's just.. everything feels like it's piling up, you know?"
You could hear the frustration and weariness in his voice, and it made your heart ache. You knew how hard he had been working, how much he was sacrificing to make sure Abby had a safe and stable home.
But you also knew he couldn't keep going like this without burning out. He needed to unwind, and maybe you could be the spark that helped him do just that.
After all, there were better ways to relieve stress, and your lips were more than ready to offer a hands-on demonstration.
You hesitated for a moment, a shy smile tugging at the corners of your lips as you considered your next words. Despite everything you had been through together, talking about anything remotely intimate still made your cheeks flush with heat.
"Mike," you began, your voice soft, almost hesitant. He looked at you, his brow furrowing slightly in concern, and you could see the question in his eyes. “What if...I helped you unwind a bit? Maybe I could help you shake off some of that stress?”
For a moment, Mike seemed caught off guard, his eyes widening slightly as he processed what you had just said. Then, a slow, almost relieved smile spread across his face, and he let out a low chuckle, the sound filled with a mixture of affection and amusement.
“You'd think after all this time, and after all the times we've seen each other naked, you wouldn't be so nervous around me," he murmured, his voice softening as he reached out to gently cup your cheek, his thumb brushing against your flushed skin. "It's adorable"
Your cheeks burned even hotter at his words, and you ducked your head slightly, feeling embarrassed but also touched by his reaction. “I just... I’m not the best with words, but I really want to help you, in any way. I hate seeing you like this.”
His expression softened even more at that, his eyes filled with a tenderness that made your heart swell. "You always know how to make me feel better," he said quietly, his hand slipping from your cheek to rest on your shoulder, his fingers gently squeezing in a reassuring gesture.
"And if you're offering... I'm not going to say no.”
His lips met yours. They were warm and soft, moving with a gentle but insistent pressure that made your heart skip a beat.
You kissed him back with just as much intensity, your free hand moving to cup the back of his neck, pulling him closer.
Mike's hand tightened around yours, his grip almost desperate as he deepened the kiss, his tongue brushing against your lips in a silent request. You parted your lips, allowing him in, and the kiss became more urgent, more intense.
His other hand moved to your waist, pulling you closer until you were nearly in his lap, your bodies pressed together.
You reached up, your hand resting on his chest, feeling the steady thud of his heartbeat beneath your palm.
"You're such a good boy," he murmured against your skin, his voice low and filled with a mixture of gratitude and something deeper, something more primal.
The praise sent a shiver down your spine, and you couldn't help the soft whimper that escaped your lips at the sound of it.
"It's okay," he murmured, his hands sliding down your arms to gently grasp your hands, guiding them to the waistband of his pants.
Mike's breathing grew heavier, his chest rising and falling with each breath as he watched you, his gaze filled with a mixture of affection and desire while your fingers began to undo the button of his pants. The intensity in his eyes made your own pulse quicken, and you felt a rush of heat pool in your stomach as you worked the zipper down, your fingers brushing against the growing bulge beneath the fabric.
He leaned in and captured your lips in a searing kiss.
You moaned softly into his mouth, your hands moving to his chest, feeling the hard muscles beneath his shirt. He was so warm, so solid beneath your touch, and it made you ache with need.
Your hands slid down his chest, your fingers brushing against the hem of his shirt before slipping underneath, your palms meeting the warm skin of his abdomen. He shuddered at the contact as he deepened the kiss even further, his tongue exploring your mouth with a desperation that made your pulse race.
Mike let out a low groan, the sound vibrating through his chest as you pushed his pants down, your eyes widening slightly as you took in the sight of him.
He was already hard, his arousal evident as it strained against the fabric of his boxers, and the sight of it made your own breath hitch in your throat.
"You're doing so well," Mike murmured, his voice rough with pleasure as he gently guided your hands to the waistband of his boxers, encouraging you to pull them down. "Such a good boy for me."
The praise made your head spin, your body flushing with heat as you followed his lead, pulling his boxers down until his length was fully exposed. You bit your lip, your gaze fixed on him as you took in every inch of him, the way he throbbed with need, the way his breath hitched slightly as you ran your fingers along the length of him, testing the waters.
Mike's hand slid into your hair, his fingers tangling in the strands as he guided you down to your knees, his grip firm but gentle.
You looked up at him, your heart pounding in your chest as you saw the hunger in his eyes. "Please, Mike," you whispered, your voice trembling with need as you leaned in and let your head rest on his thighs, your breath ghosting over the sensitive skin. "I want to make you feel good."
He let out a low, guttural groan at your words, his hips jerking slightly in response "Do it," he rasped, his voice thick with desire.
That was all the encouragement you needed.
You leaned in, your lips brushing against the tip of him, your tongue flicking out to taste him.
The salty, slightly bitter taste of him filled your senses, your tongue swirling around him, tracing every vein and ridge of his cock.
You slid your tongue up one side and down the other, slowly sucking him in as you began to take him deeper.
Mike's reaction was immediate, his breath hitching as his grip in your hair tightened, a low groan rumbling in his chest. "Fuck," he breathed, his voice rough and raw with pleasure. "That's it... just like that... good boy..."
The words sent a jolt of pleasure through you, and you moaned around him, the sound vibrating against his dick as you kept moving, taking him deeper with each bob of your head.
Mike's hips began to move in time with your motions, his breath coming in harsh, uneven gasps as he fought to keep control, to keep from losing himself entirely to the pleasure you were giving him. But it was a losing battle, his control slipping as he let out a series of low, guttural grunts, his hands tightening in your hair as he pushed you closer, his need for release becoming more urgent.
"Fuck," he groaned, his voice strained with the effort of holding back. "You're so good... so fucking good."
You could feel him throbbing against your tongue, the tension in his body building with each passing second, and you knew he was close. You doubled your efforts, taking him as deep as you could, your hands gripping his thighs for support as you moved faster, more insistently, wanting nothing more than to push him over the edge, to hear him cry out your name as he came.
And then, with a low, broken groan, he did. His release hit you with a sudden, overwhelming intensity, the salty warmth of him filling your mouth as he came, his entire body shuddering with the force of it. You swallowed him down as you continued to work him through his orgasm, milking every last drop from him until he was spent, his chest heaving with the effort of catching his breath.
He leaned down to press a soft, lingering kiss to your lips, his hand gently stroking your hair as he whispered, "Thank you"
His arms wrapped around you, holding you firmly against him. You could feel the steady rhythm of his heartbeat beneath your cheek.
Mike grunted slightly as he shifted, trying to get a better look at you. “I wonder if you’ll ever stop getting all flustered and shy around me.” A small, teasing smile played on his lips, a rare sight that made your heart skip a beat.
Mike sighed, his hand gently stroking your thigh as he murmured, "I should get ready for work."
You knew he was right, but the thought of letting go of him, even for a moment, made your heart ache. Still with your butt seated comfortably on his lap, you tightened your grip on his chest, your voice soft and playful as you whispered, “Stay a little longer.” You laughed lightly, the sound a mix of genuine amusement and a hint of longing, hoping he’d catch the underlying wish in your words.
He leaned in, his lips brushing against yours in a tender kiss while his hand squeezed softly your waist.
“I wish I could.”
You nodded, understanding, even though it hurt to let him go.
Reluctantly, you untangled yourself from him, watching as he stood and began to gather his clothes.
When he put his security vest on, he turned to you and stepped closer, the distance between you closing as he reached out, his hand coming to rest gently on your shoulder.
He glanced over his shoulder towards Abby, who was still, in her room, engrossed in her drawing. "Listen," he began, his voice dropping into a more serious tone, one that made you instinctively pay closer attention. "My aunt... she's been pushing harder lately. She's still doing her best at making our life a living hell. I wouldn't put it past her to try something drastic."
You frowned, your concern deepening. "What do you mean? Do you think she'd actually do something?"
Mike let out a heavy sigh, running a hand through his dark hair, a gesture you'd come to recognize as a sign of his stress. "I don't know," he admitted, his voice tinged with frustration. "But I've got this bad feeling. Just be careful as always, okay? If anything feels off, anything at all, promise me you'll call."
You nodded, doing your best to project confidence. "I will. Don't worry, I'll keep Abby safe."
Mike's expression softened, a mix of relief and gratitude washing over his features.
"Alright," he said, his voice steady but still carrying that undercurrent of worry. He pulled you into a tight embrace, his lips pressing against your hair as he whispered, "I'll be back as soon as I can. Stay safe."
The door opened with a soft creak, and Mike stepped outside, disappearing into the twilight.
Abby was already in her room, her small frame bent over a large piece of paper, crayons scattered around her like a rainbow explosion. The television murmured softly in the background, playing one of her favorite cartoons, but her attention was fully captured by the world she was creating with her drawings.
As the clock ticked closer to her bedtime, you suggested a quieter activity to help her wind down. You decided on a movie, something light and fun that wouldn't keep her up later with nightmares. She chose one of her favorites, and you settled down on the couch together, the soft glow of the television illuminating the living room.
But as the minutes passed, you started to notice something strange. It was subtle at first-barely noticeable-but it grew more persistent with time.
A faint noise, like the creaking of floorboards, echoed from somewhere in the house. You dismissed it at first, telling yourself it was just the old house settling, but then you heard it again, louder this time.
Your heart skipped a beat as you strained to listen, but the noise stopped as quickly as it had started. You glanced down at Abby, who was completely engrossed in the movie, blissfully unaware of anything out of the ordinary. Not wanting to alarm her, you kept your concerns to yourself.
Then, you heard something else.
footsteps.
They were faint, but distinct, coming from outside the house. You tensed, trying to discern where they were coming from, but they seemed to move too quickly, as if someone was running around the perimeter of the house.
You took a deep breath, forcing yourself to stay calm. "Abby," you said softly, trying to keep your voice steady, "I'm just going to check on something, okay? I'll be right back"
She nodded absently, her eyes still glued to the screen. You gave her a reassuring smile before slipping off the couch and heading toward the front window. The footsteps had stopped, but you still felt uneasy. You moved carefully, peering out the window into the darkness beyond.
At first, you saw nothing, just the faint outline of the trees swaying in the night breeze. But then, out of the corner of your eye, you thought you saw movement. A shadow, darting quickly between the trees. You blinked, trying to focus, but it was gone before you could be sure.
Your heart was pounding now, your grip tightening on the curtain. You leaned closer to the glass, scanning the yard for any sign of life, but the night was still, save for the rustling leaves.
You were just about to pull away when the phone rang, the sudden noise causing you to jump.
You cursed under your breath, feeling foolish for letting your nerves get the better of you, and hurried to answer the phone. "Hello?" you said, trying to keep the tremor out of your voice.
"Hey, it's me," Mike's familiar voice greeted you, instantly soothing some of your anxiety, "Is everything okay?"
You exhaled a breath you didn't realize you'd been holding. "Yeah, everything's fine," you replied, though your voice still held a hint of the tension you'd been feeling. "What about you? How's work?
Mike sighed, the weariness in his voice evident even over the phone. "Boring. Me and the cameras tonight, keeping an eye on everything." He paused for a moment, as if debating whether to continue. "I- I was thinking about you," he added, his tone shifting to something softer, more intimate.
You couldn't help but smile, feeling a warmth spread through you at his words. "Oh? And what were you thinking?"
There was a brief silence on the other end, and you could almost imagine him fidgeting, trying to find the right words. "Well, I was wondering if, you know, maybe later on, when Abby's asleep, you'd be up for... helping me out a bit? Like you did before I left."
You felt a spark of excitement at the idea. You knew exactly what he meant, and the thought of it made your pulse quicken.
"You mean... like phone sex?" you teased, keeping your voice low so Abby wouldn't overhear.
Mike chuckled softly, and you could hear the relief in his voice. "Yeah.. something like that. Only if you're up for it, of course."
You bit your lip, trying to suppress a grin. "I think I could be convinced," you replied, letting a playful edge slip into your tone. "Though I'm not sure you'll be able to focus on your job afterward."
"Who says I'm focused on it now?" he quipped back, his voice carrying that familiar blend of affection and humor that you loved so much.
You laughed quietly, feeling more at ease now than you had all evening. "Alright, you've got a deal. But I should probably warn you, Abby's still full of energy, so it might be a little while."
"That's okay," Mike said, his voice dropping to a lower, more suggestive tone. "Just thinking about it will keep me going until then."
There was a brief pause, and then Mike spoke again, his voice tinged with affection. "I love you, you know that?"
You felt your heart swell at his words. "I love you too, Mike. I'll see you soon."
You hung up the phone, feeling both relieved and anxious. The house was quiet again, but the sense of unease hadn't entirely dissipated. You quickly went around, double-checking that everything was locked, before returning to the living room where Abby was still watching her movie.
She looked up at you with a smile and you forced a smile back, trying to appear calm.
You couldn't help but glance at the window again, half-expecting to see a shadowy figure standing there.
But there was nothing. Just the dark, quiet night outside.
Eventually, Abby yawned, her small hand rubbing at her eyes. You glanced at the clock, realizing it was getting close to her bedtime.
"Alright, little artist," you said with a playful smile, gently taking the crayon from her hand. "I think it's time to start winding down."
You helped her gather up the crayons and paper, placing them neatly on the table for her to continue tomorrow. Then, you guided her to the bathroom to brush her teeth, her small hand warm in yours as you led her through the bedtime routine.
Once Abby was ready for bed, you tucked her in, pulling the blankets up to her chin as she snuggled into her pillow.
"Are you okay, Abby?" you asked softly, wanting to make sure she wasn't picking up on any of the tension you were feeling.
She nodded sleepily, a small smile on her lips. "I'm okay. I like when you're here," she said, her eyes earnest as she looked up at you.
She snuggled deeper into the blankets, her eyes never leaving yours. "Because Mike smiles more.”
The statement caught you slightly off guard, but you smiled gently, curious about what she meant. "He does? What do you mean, Abby?"
Abby nodded earnestly, her face serious as she explained. "He doesn't smile a lot, you know. But when you're here, he does. Sometimes it's just a little one, like he's trying to hide it. But I can see it."
"He talks about you a lot too," Abby continued, her voice dropping to a conspiratorial whisper, as if she was sharing a secret. "Like when we're having breakfast or when he's helping me with my homework. He misses you when you're at college," Abby added, her brow furrowing slightly as she recalled something else.
"He gets grumpy sometimes when you're not here. He doesn't say it. He doesn't laugh as much, and he's more quiet."
You reached out and gently squeezed her hand, feeling an overwhelming sense of love for both her and Mike. "Thank you for telling me that, Abby. It means a lot to hear that. Sweet dreams, okay?"
"Okay," she murmured, already drifting off as her eyes fluttered shut.
You stayed there for a moment, watching her breathe softly, her small chest rising and falling in a steady rhythm. There was something so peaceful, so innocent about her in that moment, and it only made you more determined to protect her, to keep her safe no matter what.
Finally, you quietly slip out of the room and close the door behind you.
The hallway was dim, the only light coming from the faint glow of the lamp in the living room.
You made your way back to the couch, intending to relax for a bit, maybe read a book or watch something lighthearted to take your mind off things.
But as you settled onto the couch, you couldn't shake the lingering sense of unease that had been growing since Mike left. It wasn't anything specific, just a gnawing feeling in the back of your mind, like something wasn't quite right.
You tried to push it away, focusing on the book you'd brought with you, but the words seemed to blur together, your mind too distracted to make sense of them.
After a few minutes, you gave up, setting the book aside and leaning back against the cushions with a sigh. And that's when you noticed it. A flicker of movement outside the window, just at the edge of your vision.
You froze, your heart skipping a beat as your eyes darted to the window. For a moment, there was nothing, just the reflection of the room in the glass.
But then you saw it again, a shadow passing by, quick and almost imperceptible.
You stood up slowly, moving towards the window with cautious steps, trying to convince yourself that it was nothing, maybe just a trick of the light or an animal passing by.
But as you reached the window and peered out into the darkness, you saw it again this time, clearer.
A figure, moving through the shadows, too close to the house to be anyone just passing by.
Your heart began to race, your pulse pounding in your ears as you tried to make sense of what you were seeing.
You backed away from the window, moving quickly but quietly through the house to check the locks on the doors. The front door was secure, as was the back door, but the uneasy feeling in your chest only grew stronger.
You returned to the living room, trying to decide what to do next. Should you call Mike? The police? You didn't want to overreact, but the thought of someone lurking outside the house, especially with Abby asleep in the next room, was enough to make your blood run cold.
And then, as if to confirm your worst fears, you heard a faint scratching sound, like something sharp scraping against wood.
It was coming from the back door.
Panic surged through you, your hands trembling as you fumbled for the phone.
You quickly dialed the number of the eerie place Mike was working in, your heart racing as the phone rang in your ear.
"Hey, is everything okay?"
"There's someone outside," you whispered, your voice shaking with fear. "I think they're trying to get in."
There was a brief pause on the other end, followed by a soft curse. ""I’ll call the police and then head over. Don't open the door for anyone except me, okay? I'm on my way.” Mike instructed, his voice firm despite the worry you could hear.
You hung up, your mind racing as you quickly moved towards Abby's room. The scratching at the back door grew louder, more insistent, but you forced yourself to focus on getting Abby to safety.
"Abby, sweetheart, wake up," you whispered urgently as you shook her gently. She stirred, blinking sleepily up at you.
"What's wrong?" she asked, her voice thick with sleep.
"We're going to play a game," you said, trying to keep your voice steady despite the fear that was threatening to overwhelm you. "We're going to hide, and you have to be really, really quiet, okay?"
She nodded, her wide eyes staring up at you, filled with trust. Her innocence made your heart ache, but you pushed that feeling down, focusing on the task at hand. You gently move towards her "secret fort."
You helped her crawl inside, making sure she was comfortable and well-hidden under layers of blankets. The space was cramped, barely big enough for her small frame, but you knew it was the safest place for her. You reached out to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear, giving her a reassuring smile even though your insides were twisting with fear.
"Stay here, Abby," you whispered, your voice thick with emotion. "No matter what happens, stay here until I come back for you. Don't make a sound, okay?"
Abby nodded, her lips pressed into a tight line as she did her best to be brave. "I'll be really quiet," she whispered back, her voice trembling slightly.
You smiled at her, trying to mask the fear you felt, and placed a gentle kiss on her forehead. "Good girl," you said softly, your heart breaking as you closed the fort, hiding her from view.
You stood there for a moment, your hand resting on the top of the dresser, as the reality of the situation began to sink in. The house was too quiet now, the silence pressing in on you from all sides. You could feel your pulse in your throat, your heart hammering against your ribcage as you strained to hear any sound that might give away the intruder's location.
You knew you couldn't stay in Abby's room, it was too risky. If the intruder found you, there was a chance he would discover Abby, and you couldn't let that happen.
He seemed to know how to move in this situations, locking her room from the inside would just trap you in it.
You had to draw him away from her, give her as much of a chance as possible to stay hidden.
With every muscle in your body tensed, you quietly slipped out of Abby's room and moved toward the hallway. The shadows seemed to shift and dance around you, the darkness feeling thicker, more oppressive than before. You paused at the door, listening intently.
The scratching had stopped, replaced by the sound of footsteps moving through the house.
He was inside.
You held your breath, every muscle in your body tense as you listened.
The footsteps were getting closer, each one sending a fresh wave of fear crashing over you.
Your breath caught in your throat as you tried to decide what to do.
You moved quietly but quickly down the hallway, each step measured and precise. You didn't dare make a sound. The house now felt like a trap, each corner a potential hiding place for the intruder. You reached Mike's bedroom door and slipped inside, closing it gently behind you.
Mike's room was dark, the only light coming from the faint glow of the moon filtering through the thin curtains.
You pressed your back against the wall beside the door, your breath shallow and rapid. You could hear the intruder's footsteps growing louder, closer. The sound sent a chill down your spine. Your mind raced, trying to come up with a plan, but every idea seemed more desperate and hopeless than the last.
And then the footsteps stopped, just outside Abby's room.
Your heart lurched in your chest, your breath catching as you realized the intruder was inside Abby's room. You clenched your fists, your nails digging into your palms as you searched for any possible thing to hit the man.
You knew you had to stay hidden,but when you heard the faint rustling sounds coming from Abby's room, your heart sank. You peered through the small crack in the door, barely daring to breathe as you saw the intruder crouching down beside Abby's bed, carefully placing something under it. The glint of metal caught your eye. A knife, long and sharp, was placed there deliberately.
Your blood ran cold as you realized what he was doing.
He was planting evidence.
Trying to make it look like Mike was keeping dangerous items where a child could find them. He wasn't just trying to scare you, he was trying to destroy Mike.
The intruder moved with an unsettling calmness, methodically working through the room as if he had all the time in the world. He opened Abby's dresser and placed something inside, something small and white that you couldn't quite make out.
Pills, likely. Perhaps the prescription Mike had mentioned in passing, the ones he rarely touched now but kept for nights when the insomnia got too bad.
Anger flared in your chest, hot and consuming, as you watched the intruder desecrate Abby's room, turning it into a scene of fabricated neglect.
How could someone do this?
How could they be so heartless, so cruel?
You leaned forward slightly, your eyes darting to where Abby was hidden, ensuring she was well-concealed. As your foot stepped down on the floor, it creaked loudly, shattering the silence.
His covered head snapped up instantly, and your eyes locked for a heartbeat before you jerked your head back inside the room.
The sound of his footsteps grew louder, each one faster and more urgent than the last, echoing ominously through the hallway.
Panic surged through you. There was nothing here, nothing even remotely close to a weapon. He was getting closer.
The door creaked as it was slowly opened, the movements of the man careful and deliberate. You pressed yourself against the wall, trying to make yourself as small as possible.
But it was too late.
His eyes swept the room, and in the dim light, they locked onto you.
For a heartbeat, time stood still. Your eyes met the intruder’s, and in that instant, you saw the raw terror flicker in his gaze as he realized he was caught. The silence was shattered as he lunged at you, his movements frantic and desperate. His hands, cold and clammy, reached out to stifle your scream.
The force of his attack sent you crashing on the floor, your head slamming into the floor with a sickening thud. Pain exploded in your skull, your vision blurring as you tried to fight back, your hands pushing at him, your nails clawing at his arms in a desperate attempt to break free.
His hands found your throat, squeezing with a terrifying intensity, cutting off your air.
You gasped, your lungs burning as you struggled to breathe, but his grip only tightened.
The world around you began to spin, the edges of your vision darkening as your strength started to fade.
You fought with everything you had, your survival instinct kicking in as you tried to pry his hands off your neck, but it was no use. He was nearly double your size, his weight blocking you down on the floor, his strength overwhelming.
Your vision tunneled, and the last thing you saw before the darkness claimed you was the cold, unfeeling eyes of the intruder. Your hands fell limp, your body going still as the fight drained out of you.
The pressure on your throat increased, and then...
nothing.
A loud crack echoed in the room, followed by a muffled scream of pain.
The intruder convulsed violently as a muffled scream of pain erupted from behind his mask. He stumbled backward, away from your lifeless form, writhing on the floor as the electrical current tore through him.
Mike stood in the doorway, his face twisted with fury. He held the taser that Vanessa had given him for protection after Abby was taken at Freddy's, and he was already moving towards the intruder, who was writhing on the floor, his screams of agony muffled by the mask he wore.
He lunged forward, pushing the intruder back on the floor with his body as he tried to get back up. His fists rained down on the intruder’s face with ferocity, each punch fueled by a combination of fear, anger, and desperation.
His grunts filled the room, each one punctuating the brutal force of his blows. There was no mercy in his movements, only the desperate need to protect, to punish.
The intruder's attempts to fight back grew weaker with each passing second, his body limp and barely responsive under Mike's relentless assault. His fists were driven by something primal, something that transcended reason or logic.
The world had taken too much from him already, and he refused to let it take any more.
Time seemed to stretch on forever as Mike continued his brutal assault, his rage all consuming.
But then, as if from a great distance, something cut through the fog of his anger. A small, almost imperceptible movement, a gentle touch on his shoulder. His body tensed, but he hesitated for just a fraction of a second. The rhythm of his punches faltered, the force behind them weakening as a different kind of awareness began to seep into his mind.
Mike's breathing was ragged, his chest heaving with exertion. His fists hovered above the broken, bloodied form of the intruder, shaking with the effort it took to hold back.
His vision was blurred, the world around him slowly coming back into focus. The room was a mess, blood staining the floor and the walls, and there, just within his line of sight, was you watching him, your eyes filled with something he couldn't quite place.
Mike turned to you, his hands trembling as they reached out to touch your face, as if to make sure you were really there, really okay.
"I thought... I thought I lost you," he said, his voice thick with emotion. Without another word, he pulled you into a deep, desperate hug, holding you so tightly you could barely breathe.
You wrapped your arms around him, clinging to him as the adrenaline slowly faded.
Mike buried his face in your neck, his breath warm against your skin as he whispered, "you’re okay... you’re okay...”
Mike pulled back just enough to look at you, his gaze searching your face as if needing to see for himself that you were really there, that you were really okay. His hands gently cupped your face, his thumbs brushing away the tears that clung to your cheeks.
His eyes flicked to the bruises on your neck.
"I'm okay," you reassured him, though the pain in your throat made it hard to speak.
"I love you," Mike murmured into your hair, his voice filled with a tenderness that made your heart ache
"I love you too," you whispered back, feeling a sense of peace wash over you despite everything that had happened.
After a few moments, Mike reluctantly let go, his gaze shifting to the unconscious intruder on the floor. The man was still breathing, though barely, his chest rising and falling in shallow, labored breaths.
You moved back to the fort where Abby was still hidden, her small form curled up under the blankets you hide her in. Gently, you knelt down beside her. She was asleep, her breathing soft and steady, unaware of the terror that had unfolded just outside her door. You carefully scooped her up into your arms, holding her close as you carried her out of the room.
Once the intruder was tied up and secure, Mike returned to you, his expression softening he saw you with Abby and he reached out, brushing a hand gently over her hair. "She's okay?" he asked quietly, his voice filled with concern.
You nodded, smiling softly. "She slept through the whole thing. She doesn't know."
Mike let out a sigh of relief, his shoulders sagging as some of the tension drained from him. "Good," he murmured. "That's good."
The sound of approaching sirens filled the air, growing louder as they neared the house.
The authorities arrived quickly and the intruder was taken away. He soon confessed to being someone hired by Mike's aunt in a desperate attempt to discredit him.
The police officer's words felt distant as you replayed the night's events in your mind. It was only when you felt Mike's hand squeeze yours that you were pulled back to the present.
"Let's get you checked out," Mike said softly, concern still evident in his voice as he led you to the waiting ambulance.
You nodded, exhaustion finally catching up to you as you allowed him to guide you outside. The cool night air hit your face, a stark contrast to the warmth of Mike's hand holding yours.
The paramedics were gentle as they checked you over, their hands moving carefully as they assessed the bruises on your neck and the minor injuries you'd sustained during the struggle. Mike stayed by your side the entire time, his presence a comforting anchor in the chaos of the night.
When they were finished, Mike helped you into the back of the ambulance, where you sat together, the silence between you filled with a thousand unspoken words. You leaned into him, resting your head on his shoulder as he wrapped an arm around you, holding you close.
His grip on you tightened, as if the very thought of what could have happened was too much to bear. "I couldn't lose you," he said, his voice barely above a whisper. "Not you, not Abby. You both mean everything to me."
Your heart swelled at his words, and you reached up to gently touch his face, your thumb brushing against the stubble on his cheek. "We're okay, Mike," you said softly, your voice filled with a quiet strength. "We're safe. And we'll get through this together."
If you liked this story please leave a comment, I love reading them <3.
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Dp x dc thoughts and stuff
New Dimension, Who's This?
Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6
Okay okay wait what if ghosts sort of feed off their own energy supply or like humans make our own blood they make their own ecto.
But Danny is a halfa.
Maybe he doesn't make any or just not in his human form. So when his powers use it up he has to find a way to get more.
In Amity that isn't really a problem, but if he's not in Amity? If he's not even in his dimension?
...
Danny is king, he has been for a few years now. Lets say he's 20 something and he's still learning his og powers as well as his new kingly eldritch ones.
He makes a portal, goes in to check it out, and gets stuck when he doesn't have enough juice to make another one to go back.
Portals aren't simple, even a portal for something human at a lower power level needs a lot to make a portal in their own dimension.
Creating one for an eldritch being, the king of the infinite realms, to another dimension requires an insane amount of energy. so he's stuck... somewhere, with no energy source. Transforming back into something vaguely human looking is taxing so he sits on the ground to take stock. The extra arms, paper white skin and hair, and the many ever shifting eyes are gone, but he can still feel the fangs and pointy ears, his crown shrunk down to a broach keeping a cape in place, it's covered in a frost so cold the fabric around it crystalizes, and his clothing is an odd mix of ghostly regalia and a black hoodie. It doesn't look bad, but he doesn't know how this dimension works just yet and he doubts this will help him "fit in".
Thankfully invisibility and intangibility come so naturally to him it's just the switch that requires ecto, similar to transforming, once he's there that's where he'll stay.
He needs to find a power source, wherever it is he's ended up, so he goes looking. He finds Lazarus pits but they aren't bottomless like the lakes in the zone. Some are like a dripping faucet, sure it'll fill back up at some point but who knows how long that'll take. Others were artificial, someone ripped a hole between realities, probably a small one since the leftover feeling of a portal wasn't there.
Danny stays invisible for nearly 2 months as he searches for a way home, time can act differently between dimensions, in Amity he might be gone an hour or a decade. The best thing to do for now is to get in contact with Clocky and hope they can figure it out together.
While emptying another pit he hears an angry man yell "You said this one wasn't empty."
An obviously nervous voice answers, "It was full this morning, Sir."
"This is the last one we have any record of!" there's a crash that intrigues Danny so he pops above the surface to catch a glimpse.
His stomach falls when he sees a Vlad looking fruit loop tearing apart a makeshift lab in a cave. Equipped with the same ridicules cape and beard.
There is a woman sitting on a folding chair, her legs are crossed and she very obviously is done with whatever fruit loop 2.0 is doing.
He was expecting to find more than 4! If that's the last of the leaks he needs to find another source asap.
"We can head to Gotham." the woman says, still uninterested as she pulls at a thread on her sleeve. "That place has always been a cesspool for everything weird."
"Nyssa." the man takes a breath, no longer yelling he continues, "We've tried that."
The woman stands, she looks scarier calm than the fruitloop does angry. "No, we tried to find one. We couldn't search there cuz of the bats, but if there are a few diversions we could get enough equipment into the sewers and we'd continue our search unnoticed."
Danny doesn't care much about the rest, he needs to get to Gotham before they do. He just needs to find where that is.
...
Jason Todd came back from the dead a few years ago. [We can leave him at around 23, idk what age he was when Talia plopped him into the pits.]
He's angry ALL the time, it fogs his mind so much it feels like he's no longer in control of his body. He knows he nearly killed one of his brothers, possibly two, but they ignore it so he does too.
He hasn't seen his family much since he was... brought back. As always, something pushes him to take action when he would rather not.
This time it's a rumor amongst his lackeys about someone planning on killing Redhood. They don't know he and Red are the same person, so he was planning on leaving the helmet at a safe house and sticking around to give orders and keep an eye on things.
That plan falls through when a group of three come up to him, they think he spends the most amount of time with the boss and want to keep their leader safe, but don't feel they have that kind of relationship with him to show how worried they are. They push Jason to take Redhood and hide.
His way of doing things creates a pretty even playing field amongst the lackeys, other than Redhood himself. If he refuses he's not a team player, if he tries to advise against it they'll think he's the one trying to kill his own alter ego.
He has to go somewhere none of his enemies know of, but also where none of his allies know.
That's how he's ended up being shuffled into the manor by Alfred, duffle bag in his arm and a headache so horrendous it's hard to understand what Alfred is saying.
~
Jason had been at the manor for two weeks, in that time he'd heard of two territory fights by crime alley, someone emptying the Lazarus pits around the world, and the assassination attempt on him hasn't played out yet.
He was going insane with his family on him at all times. No matter what he did someone was with him.
He knew telling them he felt ill and didn't want to hurt an innocent if the rage took over wasn't the best idea, but he couldn't think of one that would work as well to get them on his side.
That meant, however, that he wouldn't be able to go out on patrol at all nor leave the manor alone.
Damian, of all of them, was the one that helped him. He still acted like the spoiled brat he always was, but he'd grown. He was calmer, not by much, but it took him longer to be set off than he used to.
It wasn't hard to convince him not to say anything, he still knew his brother after all he came prepared. An intricate knife from 15th century china he nabbed off a man with a sword collection that could rival Damians and a story of wanting to get back his cat that he had to leave at his main safe house was all it took to get Damian to agree.
With his needed entertainment (books and videogames), his cat stuffed inside his jacket (which yes, Emma did exist), and ice cream; they were making their way back to the manor at dusk. Jason froze, someone something was following them.
"Dami, do you have your sensor turned on."
"Of course I do." he puffed out his chest and stopped to push back his sleeve.
"Don't stop walking, check what's to my left." the building was boarded up. It hadn't been like that last time he was here.
"Don't tell me what to do." Damian caught up with him before adding, "The building has no electricity or anything in it, but it's weirdly cold."
Just as they both look over to the building something phases through the boarded up window. "Run, now!"
As they take off towards the manor the creature follows them. He can't hear it, no footsteps, no heartbeat, no breathing, but he can feel it. And he wants to fight it.
"It's still following us." Damian whisper yelled. then Damian answered a question he didn't ask. "We're half a mile from the manor, on the road with the ice-cream shop."
"You have your com on?" His need to fight this thing only grew.
"Just with Tim. We should never have them fully off, something could happen."
Of course, he knew that, he suffered those consequences. He was probably the reason it was so enforced... and why it was followed.
Suddenly the roaring of an engine and a black car with all it's doors open comes racing down the road. Damian jumps in first, with Emma stuffed in his jacket he can't just throw himself in so he chucks his games and slides in feet first, hugging his chest to keep her safe.
The doors shut and the car speeds off past the entrance to the manor.
The winding roads should have shook the creature off their trail. It's not long before the car takes them down a secret entrance to the bat cave.
There's yelling before he's even out of the car.
"You could have got hurt!" Tim is yelling at him, "I don't care who you think you are, you put our brother in danger!" The rage starts back up, he was here first, he was the one who could protect Dami not him.
"Timmothy I fight crime."
Tim swivels on his heels, "That thing wasn't human. How would you have fought it exactly?"
Jason can feel himself being engulfed in it again, he's vision going green and his whole body tensing. "Listen here replacement."
"I am not!" Tim turns back around, the steam in him vanishes when he looks at Jason's face.
"Boys," a calm voice echoes through the cave. "No fighting in the cave. Go up stairs to breath or finish outside."
Jason ignores Tim and Dami as he walks to the elevator. He can't look at Alfred, can't let him see him like this.
Once out from behind the bookcase he lets Emma down gently, then flops onto the couch. If they know what's good for them they'll find another way up.
They don't apparently and all three walk out the same exit, bickering.
The noise erases the effort he'd made to quite the pits, as he stands to shut them up the creature floats up through the table.
A terrifying creature with long teeth, pointy ears, long curved nails and a cap hiding a thin hunched figure leans towards him. As he jumps away the thing grabs him and latches on.
Jason tries to shake it off, but it's almost like it's stuck to him. Not physically, but there is something holding them together and it's not the creature.
Suddenly a bright light flashes and the creature turns onto a young man.
"Why's the ecto in this dimension so shit." It... he looks tired, there are bags under his eyes and his skin looks sickly. He's draped over Jason, at first he thought the man was holding Jason in place, but it seemed more like he was holding himself up.
Tim stopped in his tracks. "What the fuck?"
"Language."
"Sorry Alf, but uh... What's happening?"
The man mumbled something, he rested his head on Jason's shoulder, he could see the effort it took to speak louder. "I'm so hungry dude. Why are you the only liminal person I've come across? It makes no sense."
Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6
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dittaturamonegasca · 6 months
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I think there should bé a fic where anyone from the grid would be third wheeling Landoscar, like, have you seen how these two interact.
So, I lack the ability and the time of f1writingbyme and LestappenForever to make this idea into a proper work like they did for "How (Not) To Third Wheel Lestappen" (check it out on Ao3 if you haven't already, definitely worth it) BUT BUT BUT, I can tell you how I think most of the grid would react in third wheeling Landoscar!
1) I feel like we should spare Checo, cause honestly this man has had enough as third wheel of Maxiel and Lestappen, I don't wanna give him extra traumas, SO –
2) Logan Sargeant: this one I really feel guilty about. Cause I like the narrative of him and Oscah being besties and still I cry over the sad edits of Logan just left behind. I think Landoscar with Logan has the most space for improvement?? I forgive Oscar even tho he definitely ghosted the poor Logan for the whole honeymoon phase with Lando (it's been almost two years, Osc, get a grip). I have a feeling Logan will speak up at some point and this would shake Oscar a little, so maybe he would be the more aware and more involved third wheel, possibly? They'll end up doing triple video-games championships with Lando and Logan mocking Oscar's gaming skills, mark my words.
3) Carlos Sainz: my man how does it feel to know you've wasted your chance (multiple chances, lets be real) for good? I have mixed ideas about this one, cause I think it would probably being more like Lando struggling to keep them both as close as possible resulting in Oscar being rightfully jealous 👀👀 so the third wheeling situation would be like Lando trying to involve a very annoyed and confused Carlos in their things (safe for work, ofc). I don't really see a way out of it.
4) Daniel Ricciardo: I mention him but I can't really explain cause honestly my idea of Daniel third-wheeling Landoscar is either him babysit them around Australia and bonding with Oscar over weird aussie habits OR OR OR something very NOT SAFE WORK so ( ... )
5) Max Verstappen: I love to think he'll remain an unbothered king, you know? Like he's well aware and a bit upset that his crepes companion invited someone else (beside from Daniel) to their dessert dates and that the two of them acts like lovebirds even without an actual physical contact. He'll probably send SOS texts to Charles and Daniel until a topic of (his) interest comes out and honestly at that point the power of maxplaining will win over pretty much everything and everyone. At the end of the day Landoscar turn out to be the real victims.
6) George Russell: poor thing was originally invited for a golf morning from Carlos (Landoscar were already supposed to attend), but Chili called off last minute so Georgie ended up with just the others two. LET ME TELL YOU he jumped off the golf cart cause he saw Lando placing a hand on Oscar's thigh and feared for his life. It took several minutes for them to notice he was aggressively walking behind. He was also hit by a golf ball because Oscar distracted Lando for a second too long, I guess you can figure out the rest.
7) Special mention to the PR and the McLaren team in general who's main job rn is having them to SIMPLY F O C U S outside the pit for like interviews and debriefings. I can picture Lando losing it after hearing a single compliment like "SO YOU THINK I'M PRETTY", cause ✨babygirl✨ energy hitting here and there, even tho he has tried to be somehow a model for Oscar, at least for what concerns work. Indeed I pity trainers and strategists bc ofc Oscar listens at them, but image them trying to explain a concept to him just for Lando to get there and rephrase it in the dumbest way possible and Oscar going like OHHHHH NOW I GOT IT, COULDN'T YOU EXPLAIN IT THAT WAY?
8) This is mostly a guilty pleasure but do we all agree they torture the entire f1 group chat with their subtle flirting?
IDK if this was what you had in mind but I really REALLY had fun writing it.
So let me know what you think in the comments down below, if you agree or if you want me to make it longer and/or more detailed or just to focus on a specific one in particular?
Again, my dms and box section are open to discussions, requests and any sort of (respectful) thing!
PEACE OUT 🤌🏻❤️
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playertale-au · 6 months
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[NOTICE] Thank you for the 300+ followers. To celebrate, bits of PLAYER!Tale AU concept( regarding Player) is shared
Reposting because Tumblr decided to post instead of saving it in drafts when I'm not even finished. Love you tumblr!  (╯ᐛ)╯︵ ┻━┻
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A/N: 
Oh, wow! We actually reach 300+ (as of now 310) followers!
⸜(。˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡ 
Thank you very much from the bottom of my heart, I’m glad all of you enjoyed the story despite my art not being that good. I actually wanted to draw for 250 followers but I didn’t realised we passed that milestone. 
Anyways! To celebrate, I wanted to share some concepts regarding the Player based on my memories, though sorry if there is like a black blotched in the drawing as that is considered as spoilers.
To start off, I began creating this AU maybe 5/6 years ago, on and off, (re-writing or removing some stuff along the way) I had loads of concept art and drawings back in 2019 but sadly those old arts were, ummm, forcedly deleted after a disagreement with someone I trusted, haha. The pain for a FT user in ibis paint. 。゚(TヮT)゚
Then 2023, I wanted to move forward. So I decided to give it a shot and start drawing again. I wanted to share my AU (better late than ever),\\\(۶•̀ᴗ•́)۶//// and also I thought it will help overcome my fear of drawing and start liking to draw again.
Anyway, here we have Player’s design concept (+ explanation):
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Version 1:
Player actually does not inhibit Frisk’s body, as they are not trap in the game, instead, they have their own “Avatar” basing on the data and sprites of Frisk and Chara. (The situation is more towards VR? AR? I’m not sure what to call it) The Player has their memories intact.
The story is just Player goofing around in Undertale, until plot happens, but I didn’t really like the idea as I have no clue how to progress the story forward, so the whole story was re-written.
Player mostly hack codes, while Frisk has the Reset/Reload button.
Initially, their eyes didn’t change colour when using abilities. But I wanted to distinguish what and when the abilities are used.
Version 2:
This is where, I decided that the Player actually inhibits Frisk body, though they are not amnesiac. Frisk is like a ghost (narrator?) here. The image above is post-skip version to maybe 1 year trapped in Undertale. This idea was scrap and rewritten due “Chara” ‘s story and I wanted to involved Gaster in the story. (Also, because I didn’t want to draw this version hairstyle anymore, hahaha (  ≧ᗜ≦))
Player has both the hacking and reset/reload abilities.
This version of Player is more uptight and serious.
Version 3:
I think this is like 2nd or 3rd version of the finalise concept. 
Our current Player. I made the hairstyle simpler.
This Player inhibits Frisk body and is amnesiac. The personality shifted so it’s easier for the player to act consistent. This version is more carefree than ver 2, they are similar to ver 1.
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First design of the Player (ver 3).
Despite being ver 3, I wanted to keep a bit of the ver 1 and 2 hairstyle but decided not to. Again, I wanted a simpler hairstyle.
This personality is just them being stress and filled with anxiety. A nervous wreck and a crybaby. Cries a lot at the first arc until they pull themselves together. But I didn’t wanna make them cry all throughout the story, if I continued to write them like that, I might ended up smacking Player myself hahaha. I ended up toning down the personality. 
Gaster would have replace Frisk as the ghost (narrator?). But I decided not doing it, because it conflict with the plot. That, and the story would be over much quicker with him around.
Side note: I had to change the relationship between Sans and the Player(hate, confuse, no interaction, chill, idk? etc), a lot of times, but in the end I decided to make him not trust the Player. 
Previously in most iteration, he just hates Player.  I planned to have him to kill the Player the first time they exited the ruins, but decided to go against it as it doesn’t really fit his style. Also, the story would go very differently if he did commit to it. Maybe one day I can make him kill them. In an alternate timeline maybe. ꉂ (´∀`)ʱªʱªʱª
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Extras: Player in different outfits (loosely)based on the other fallen humans in this AU. (+ ruin outfit)
There is a reason, why the Player had worn some of these outfits in chapter 3 and 4. 
Don’t worry, it’s not originally the clothes worn by the other children, Toriel made them. She has spares. (Sorry, to the one that find it creepy, when it was first shown, hahahaha)
And, that’s all for now I am able to share, I wanted to show more, but I’m afraid, that’s already in the spoiler territory. 
Anyways-! Thank you again for the follow, each and every one of you are the best! And I hope you enjoyed the upcoming story! 
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shadowqueenjude · 11 months
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Ranking the top 10 most pathetic SJM men
10: Ithan Holstrom Come on, if you didn't think him simping for Bryce after knowing her for like 5 seconds was pathetic then idk what is. Also, him being mad about the Fendyr heir being enslaved and stealing fire sprites for revenge will never not be hilarious
9: Fenrys Moonbeam Bro was so desperate to escape Maeve that he almost killed himself. Then he had that "You'd rather my queen die than your king" line. Like bro is Aelin's dog at this point.
8. Eris Vanserra Thanks to @kateduchessofdolittle for making me see how pathetic Eris is.
-Fiancee goes to *great lengths* to get out their engagement. After all that, bro still bailed her out by dealing with her father Keir in ACOSF
- Got to be a passive little bitch to monster father
- seems to be a surrogate father to the *worst* people
- he's giving mama's boy
- his allies taunt him with another engagement and she laughs in his face too
At least he has his dogs.
7. Hunt Athalar Not sure how to explain this one. It's just the *vibes*
6. Tarquin Poor Tarquin. I felt so bad for him during that Feyre-Tarquin scene in ACOMAF (one of these days I shall write the Feyquin fanfic and rectify Feyre's mistakes here).
5. Ruhn Danaan You may be surprised Ruhn is so high up on this list. But bro, Hypaxia duped him so badly. Also, he was so desperate to get back in his sister Bryce's good books. Here are just a few examples from the book:
Ruhn bared his teeth at Maximus as the glowering vamp headed toward the golden steps. “Riso called me a few minutes ago and said you were here. With that fucking creep.” “Excuse me?” Her voice sharpened. It had nothing to do with the fact that she highly doubted the diplomatic club owner had used those terms. Riso was more the type to say, She’s with someone who might cause the dancing to cease. Which would have been Riso’s idea of Hel. Ruhn said, “Riso can’t risk tossing Tertian to the curb—he implied the prick was being handsy and you needed backup.” A purely predatory gleam entered her brother’s eyes. “Don’t you know what Tertian’s father does?” She grinned, and knew it didn’t reach her eyes. None of her smiles did these days. “I do,” she said sweetly. Ruhn shook his head in disgust. Bryce leaned forward to grab her drink, each movement controlled—if only to keep from taking the water and throwing it in his face. “Shouldn’t you be home?” Ruhn asked. “It’s a weekday. You’ve got work in six hours.” “Thanks, Mom,” she said.
She just opened the door. “If you hear anything about the Viper Queen, call me.” Ruhn stiffened, his heart thundering. “Do not provoke her.” “Bye, Ruhn.” He was desperate enough that he said, “I’ll go with you to—” “Bye.”
She flinched as Ruhn said at her ear, “You don’t need to see this.” This was another murder. Another body. Another year. A medwitch even knelt before the body, a wand buzzing with firstlight in her hands, trying to piece the corpse—the girl—back together. Ruhn tugged her away, toward the screen and open air beyond— The movement shook her loose. Snapped the droning in her ears. She yanked her body free from his grip, not caring if anyone else saw, not caring that he, as head of the Fae Aux units, had the right to be here. “Don’t fucking touch me.” Ruhn’s mouth tightened. But he looked over her shoulder to Hunt. “You’re an asshole.”
Ruhn was in the apartment lobby when Fury dropped her off. Tharion left them at the docks, saying he was going to help haul in the seized synth shipment, and Fury departed fast enough that Bryce knew she was heading out to make sure the Viper Queen didn’t abscond with any of it, either. Ruhn said nothing as they rode the elevator. But she knew Fury had told him. Summoned him here. Her friend had been messaging someone on the walk back from the docks. And she’d spied Flynn and Declan standing guard on the rooftops of her block, armed with their long-range rifles. Her brother didn’t speak until they were in the apartment, the place dark and hollow and foreign. Every piece of clothing and gear belonging to Hunt was like an asp, ready to strike. That bloodstain on the couch was the worst of all. Bryce made it halfway across the great room before she puked all over the carpet. Ruhn was instantly there, his arms and shadows around her. She could feel her sobs, hear them, but they were distant. The entire world was distant as Ruhn picked her up and carried her to the couch, keeping away from that spot where she’d yielded herself entirely to Hunt. But he made no comment about the bloodstain or any lingering scent. 4. Lucien Vanserra (or Spell-Cleaver? Vanserra sounds better)
Ah, Lucien, Lucien, Lucien. My poor baby just wants somebody to marry him. Does it get any more pathetic than "I'm a mated male now?" My man prepares for rejection every holiday without fail. He and Lucien did not exchange gifts, though the male had brought a gift for Feyre and one for his mate, who barely thanked him after opening the pearl earrings. Cassian’s heart strained at the pain etching deep into Lucien’s face as he tried to hide his disappointment and longing. 3. Chaol Westfall I don't think many people remember Lithaen, but Chaol was in love with her and she fucked Dorian's cousin instead. Also there was this:
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Babe, ily but wtf. You ran into a different fucking dimension to save your ex-girlfriend's DOG??? Talk about pathetic. 2. Lorcan Salvaterre Bro abandoned the queen he served more loyally than any of the rest of the cadre the moment a tiny little human with witch blood showed a little cleavage and bossed him around. Bro wanted to be someone's bitch SO BAD. He RIPPED his shirts up for her periods even after she refused to even speak with him and said she hopes he's miserable and spends the rest of his life alone (and threatened to gut Rowan and Gavriel if they ever told her it was him). He swore a blood oath to his greatest enemy just to protect her and lost the will to live when she called him a monster. Absolutely fucking pathetic and we love him for it. 1. Tamlin It was a close fight to first, but nobody can beat Tamlin in the pathetic category. For one, of all the love interests we have seen, he is in possession of the least rizz. Negative rizz, actually. Lucien actually roasted him so badly for his negative rizz, and Lucien personally backed off so Tamlin and his negative rizz could rizz up Feyre. Bro sacrificed all of PRYTHIAN to keep Feyre safe, bartered with his enemy to get her back, only to have her destroy his court. Even after that, he saved her life at the Hybern camp and revived her mate. And unlike the others above, he didn't get the girl, and probably won't get any girl, actually. We could always put him up for adoption and one of the members of the fandom can take him? Maybe??? Maybe @kateduchessofdolittle will take him.
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ilsolefiesta · 21 days
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my 2024 solar return predictions
it's 11 days until my solar return this year. perhaps I'll write about how I spent each day leading up to and after the Solar Return. but for now, I want to explore my Solar Chart for 2024. spoiler: I hope I won't die. literally. but let's be consequent. 1. Leo Rising in the 1°. it's a really interesting story about how fate can't be avoided. Initially, I thought I would meet my Solar Return at home, with my Ascendant in Cancer in the last degree. when I saw this, I said, "no way. I don't want to deal with family issues all year." so, I decided to go to another town. ironically, this 1° change affected the Sun either. initially it was in the 3rd house but with Leo Rising it moved to the 4th. so, being the ruler of the ASC, the 4th housed Sun still emphasizes the inevitable importance of family to me this year. alright, I've got it. but still, I hope Leo will still work out. I have plans to improve my appearance and solve problems in this area that have been bothering me for a long time. additionally, I want to activate my artistic potential and become more visible and active on social media. I don't expect to become a high-class celebrity, but still... moreover, the Solar ASC is located in my Natal 11th house, so I believe it should work well.
2. the 2nd and the 3rd Solar Houses are also in Leo, with their ruler, thein the 4th house (☌ with IC, actually). ◄ as for the 2nd house: as you may know, we begin to feel the effects of the upcoming Solar Chart before the Solar Return occurs. recently, I have felt a strong desire to pursue a remote job, or at least a part-time remote job from home in addition to my current one. perhaps I could do so and work from home if we consider the fourth house as a place of real estate. the Cusp of the 2nd Solar House falls in my Natal 11th house, so I may receive some assistance from friends? I will also look for other confirming signs... ◄ as for the 3rd house, the situation is more or less clear here. as this house is responsible for brothers and sisters... my little sister is now living with me (the ruler is in the 4th house, right?). the issue is that she has exams to graduate from school next summer, and she is now studying from home remotely (the Cusp of the 3rd Solar House is in the 12th Natal House). having Solar Virgo Mercury here, I am planning to be her tutor throughout the year. aside from my siblings, the Solar Mercury is in exact ☌ with my Natal ASC. moreover, I have both Mercury and the 1st house ruling this year in profection. I believe communication, connections, and education - all activities related to the 3d (Gemini) house - will be EXTREMELY highlighted this year. well, I hope so. it should be interesting. the connection with the 12th Natal House... will I continue writing about astrology? who knows. by the way, it's fun, but I already feel the urge to re-take an exam to receive a driving license that I gave up on last year (also the issue of the 3rd House).
3. I've already mentioned my 4th house a lot, and I want to add that I have Solar Virgo IC located in my 1st Natal house. my Solar 4th house Venus is in ☌ with my Natal 2nd house Venus in Libra. I am currently undergoing renovations at my place of residence. I need to paint the walls, buy a new bed, a high mirror etc... the upcoming beautification of my home is quite predictable, and it, obviously, requires money. so, hi, 2nd Natal House...
4. the 5, 6 house. interesting situation, because I little bit lack of ideas.
Solar House - Sign - Placements - SH Cusp in Natal House:
5H - Scorpio - Sagittarius Vertex ☌ Natal IC, Pluto, Chiron - 2H. 6H - Sagittarius - Pluto in Capricorn's last ° ☌ Solar Aquarius DSC and Part of Fortune - 4H.
overall connection of 4, 5, 6 and 7 houses... I also have Solar Juno in the 4th house. idk what is it, predestined relationship with someone different than me and related to my work? I've given up on relationships and prefer to see it as a business opportunity. I really hope that my artistic potential will be unlocked and that I can monetize my skills. with the 5th house Sagittarius Vertex on the Natal IC I may receive recognition or support from family or my homeland? or, maybe, on the contrary, Sagittarius will push me to aim outside? the Cusp of the 6th house in Sagittarius could add to this. there is also an interesting placement of Solar Pluto. the matter is that it aims to leave the 6th house and has ☌ with Solar DSC and Part of Fortune. I had a very... heavy 6th house for several last years, and I've been feeling overwhelmed by routine. perhaps this is a sign that my work process will change and I need to rely on partnerships more. If we consider it from a health perspective, I think I understand what changes it may bring to my daily routine. I'm planning to get braces this year. God bless, my Pluto this year is mostly positively aspected - being in the connection with the DSC it obviously ☍ ASC. And □ the 5th house. however, my Uranus is strong in Natal 5th house. + Solar Pluto makes △ with Solar Sun and Uranus. so I think everything will be fine, despite my fear of some unexpected health effects from Pluto. moreover, I have additional signs. but I'll write about them later.
5. DSC and the 7th house. it's the most difficult part for me to analyze, as I'm totally dumb with any relations. well, I have Part of Fortune in Aquarius ☌ Natal Neptune here. and I can't say for sure whether it will make my luck dream-like or make me completely blind and overestimate myself. well, DSC ruler Uranus is in the 11th house in Taurus, also placed in the 9th Natal House. the Solar DSC is in the 5th Natal House. please, I'm so tired of drama, please, can it be something fun, light and cool? (haha, Pluto ☌ is like "hello-hello, no, haha"...)
6. the 8 and 9th houses. both are in Aquarius.
the 8th Solar house, despite being empty, is located in the 5th Natal house. remember my question from the previous point? well, answer is "no" once again, I guess...
the ruler is in the Solar 11th house (in the Natal 9th). betrayal from friends? new foreign dangerous friends? some transforming experience with education and collectives? still, it's not that bad, my Natal 8th house (Aries) ruler is Mars in the 12th house, so should I be used to the 8th house things? however, Aquarius is still a little bit frightening with its unexpectedness...
the 9th house... the Moon and Saturn are here. exactly just like in my Natal, ha. guess, I shouldn't even hope to go travel abroad this year. again, like the whole life before. both the Moon and Saturn are in Pisces. despite my Natal Taurus Moon doesn't allow me to regret these restrictions too much, guess, Pisces Moon can make me more vulnerable to this topic throughout the year. I'll probably continue learning languages and maybe even make foreign friends with the ruler in the 11th house. also Solar Saturn ☌ Natal DSC in Pisces. probably it may signify someone older who can teach me how to communicate and maintain partnerships? yes, in Natal Chart Saturn is ruling my 5th house, but I prefer not to focus on relationships to avoid disappointment later.
7. the Solar MC is in Pisces. ☌ with the Solar Moon. the Cusp is in the 7th Natal house. Neptune, ruling the MC, is also here. again, some distortion of my career/public relations vision? am I in danger of underestimating something? it would be interesting to see how I will deal with this. the best of the best is starting right now. Aries North Node and Chiron in the 10th house. it could be great and maybe give me some energy an resources. however. the North Node is in ☌ with the Natal 8th Cusp. Chiron, consequently, is in the 8th Natal House either. does this mean that career development could harm me, or should I break myself and, regardless, develop leadership and inner resources for success in my career? it's scary. btw, Solar Chiron ☍ Solar Venus. I guess I'll continue to make my appearance far from "traditional venusian" - I've had this aspect this year either - tattoos, piercings etc.
8. the 11th Solar house in Taurus (the Cusp lies in the 8th Natal House). strange combination. from the one hand, it's absolutely not the best placement. on the other hand, benefic Jupiter is here. on the OTHER hand, it's essentially weak (in Gemini) and has □ with the Sun, Moon, IC and 10th house. on the OTHER hand, it has the same sign I have in my Natal Chart and it's considered to be beneficial... hardly understand what to expect from Jupiter. especially as I had hoped for blessings from having it in the 1st house this year, but nothing "jupiterial" happened at all. Uranus is also here, so I anticipate some changes in relationships with friends and possibly a shift in understanding of myself within the group. also having Solar Taurus Uranus close to my Natal Saturn, along with other placements, makes me slightly anxious about my elderly. hope, everything will be fine.
9. the last one. the Solar 12th house in Gemini. it can bring cognitive difficulties or doubts about intellectual capacity and proficiency, especially for those with Mercury as a dominant planet (me). however, I believe that this can be compensated by a strong Solar Mercury placement. the problem is that I have Cancer Mars in the 12th house and this damn Mars makes □ to the Natal 8th house and the Solar North Node. and I remember all the scary placements, like Pluto and Chiron, as well as the North Node. I was still trying to maintain my composure at that point. and what else?! Mars? amazing. I really hope I won't die or become seriously ill or injured, nor will my loved ones. btw, the connected 6, 8 and 12 houses in Solar Chart are the main indicators of some disastrous events, and I pray that this year will be a year of great transformation, not a year of losing something or someone important..
that's how it is.
Thank you for reading!
Picture credits: Pinterest
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cafeseoulmate · 2 years
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Why We (Don’t) Work
i'm okay with being by your side for as long as i can hide what if i told you that i've fallen?
featuring: music major!beomgyu x fine arts major!gn!reader
genre: fluff, angst, childhood best friends to lovers, neighbors to lovers au, idiots to lovers au, high school au, college au, band au, hurt/comfort, slice of life, slowburn, mutual pining, 5+1 & nonlinear format
wc: 13k
warnings and other notes: cursing, alcohol consumption, reader is implied bi/pan, two jokes about murder, mention of the flu, brief mention of making out, cliches, inaccurate portrayal of a painting & sculpture double major, idk where this was going tbh
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I. WE'VE BEEN FRIENDS FOR TOO LONG
The idea of friends eventually becoming lovers, especially those who have known each other for a long time, is okay in your opinion. In theory, the principle of falling in love with someone whom you've previously built a relationship with is not that great but not that awful either.
It's reasonable, practical and natural even in many situations. You would know from the amount of friends you've watched over the years who only started seeing each other romantically after a few years of getting to know and being comfortable around each other platonically.
You just figure that it's not for you and Choi Beomgyu, the nuisance who's been affectionately stuck to your hip since your days at the neighborhood playground.
For starters, you've known him for far too long. Not that love is supposed to have an expiration date, it's just that most people who start off friends—like your college friends Yeji and Ryujin who started dating before your junior year—usually take less than a decade, and that is really pushing it in your humble opinion.
Beomgyu's known you since the time you were sporting bowl cuts your mom fashioned with your kitchen scissors, probably and unconsciously even longer than that given that your respective moms have also been close friends since you were toddlers. You've pushed each other at the swings and the slides more than any of your other childhood friends, have gone to the same schools together spent most of your non-holidays with each other since kindergarten, and even live in the same university dorm at the present.
You both had almost 16 years to bring up anything remotely close to romantic feelings with each other and the closest to romantic-leaning affection that you got from him was the time he gave you a bouquet of roses, and he didn't even buy it for you originally.
It was in your 10th grade, when Valentine's Day gifts have finally reached normal status among the consciousness of your teen peers. Since Halloween, Beomgyu had been saving up his money to buy Yeeun from Class 4 a bouquet of roses—bribing you to pay for his lunch two out of five days in the week, singing and dancing his ass off at his family's Christmas and Lunar New Year parties for money, and working the afternoon shift at the neighborhood guitar store—only to chicken out at the last minute because Jaehyun from Class 6 had asked Yeeun to be his girlfriend in a very public proposal at the soccer field.
In a small class reunion last Christmas, Taehyun had asked about the whole ordeal, supported by the drunk cheerings of your former classmates at the memory of Beomgyu handing you the abnormally large bouquet by the school gate during dismissal almost five years ago.
"What else do you want to know about that?" You asked with a frown, feeling light-headed from all the barbecue and soju yourself. It was finals week for most of you as well, somehow making all the shots of peach-flavored alcohol taste sweeter and the stories bitterer. "You all know how it went: Gyu chickened out and didn't want to waste his hard-earned money on a girl who got a boyfriend that same day so he gave it to me before we went home."
"You also gave me half of the money to buy it! That's also an important detail!" Beomgyu slurred out to your right, leaning his head on your arm with a giggle and making you roll your eyes. "I thought, 'ya, this person bought me lunch for three months they kind of bought this bouquet so I'll just give it to them. That's only fair!'"
Yunjin raised a finger this time, as if making a shushing motion in the air as she took a long sip of her soju bottle across the table. "Okay but!" She exclaimed after slamming her bottle down, momentarily covering her mouth as she hiccuped before continuing. "You...you could've just gave it to your mom or something!"
"Auntie's allergic to flowers." You pointed out. "My dad also forgot to buy my mom flowers that time so I gave it to him when I got home. I technically saved two lives that day.”
"So it didn't spark anything?" Jeongin pointed to you then to Beomgyu who was contemplating on falling asleep on you by that point, clearly uninterested in this conversation you've had with the rest of the world a million times already. "Not even a little bit?"
Of course there were times over the years, at least on your part—moments where Beomgyu spent an hour too long in your childhood home when he just told you that his parents wanted him to come home at a certain time, filled a day with questionably sweet gestures only to bribe you with trouble after, or comforted you too well in your darkest moments among others that made your heart flutter more than it's supposed to.
You never told anyone about how on that day, you plucked out a single rose from the bouquet before secretly handing it to your dad as he cooked a quick Valentine's Day dinner for your mom. There was no denying that, even if he gave it to you under pitiful circumstances, it was still a sweet gesture. After Yeeun, he thought of giving it to you, the next immediate person and his best friend.
The red rose drank fresh water by your windowsill for three days until Beomgyu invited himself over for a cram session when you ended up hiding the flower shamefully under your bed and convincing yourself that you were just momentarily blinded by the principle of the gesture.
Though it accidentally wilted after you've forgotten about it amidst your busy high school schedule, you still keep the petals in a box under your bed as a reminder of all those moments you've thought you were starting to feel something for your best friend, only to snap yourself out of it after. You even had one of the petals made into a resin necklace by Yeji when she picked up on the hobby, wearing it everyday since without Beomgyu ever asking about it’s significance.
He just thinks you got it from the congratulatory bouquet the boys all pitched in to give when you won a sculpting competition at the university museum.
But as mentioned, you've mostly come to terms with the fact that you've known Beomgyu long enough to let a lot of opportunities to pass by, even if it pains you. Though romantic love doesn’t have to have an expiration date, you think you’ve been around your best friend long enough to know and accept that nothing is going to happen.
So to keep up appearances, you shook your head in front of your demanding friends that night at the reunion and teasingly pushed the sleeping Beomgyu to Taehyun's shoulder, much to everyone's disappointment.
"I've known him for all my life, literally. If something remotely romantic were to happen, it should've happened years ago." You grimaced before downing another shot of peach soju, that particular shot stinging a bit too much for your liking.
"But that's, like, the tricky thing with friends: you never really know when things are starting to be something else with one or both people." Sieun pointed out with a pout.
"Oh, I can assure you, it's not like that with us." You waved your hand dismissively in response before quickly going back to gathering your next mouthful of lettuce wrap. “Anyway, you guys have known us pretty well too. We just don’t match that way.”
Next to you, Beomgyu groaned seemingly in agreement as he stirred on Taehyun's shoulder, moving to lean on you again. "You're all so fucking noisy." He mumbled on the nook of your neck, hands encircling around your waist as he then pointed at the jug of water on the table. “If Y/N says it's not like that then it's not like that. So let me sleep and let Y/N eat their food!"
You shrugged at Sieun and Yunjin, smoothly shifting the conversation's focus to Sieun after before filling in a glass of water for Beomgyu as he’s requested.
"You're going to have a nasty hangover later, you know." You pointed out to him, making sure to keep your voice low knowing that he's sensitive to noise when he's drunk.
"You'll take care of me." He replied confidently with a boyish grin, more as a statement than a question. "Can I sleep over your dorm later? Hyuka won't let me in the room like this and Ryujin's already on vacation anyway."
You then rolled your eyes, knowing full well that you don’t have a choice anyway. "Sure, sure."
II. WE HAVE SHIT TASTE IN PEOPLE (AND IT WOULD BE AN INSULT TO OURSELVES IF WE START LIKING EACH OTHER)
The first time someone directly and publicly questioned Beomgyu's relationship with you, however, was at the traditional secret gathering your classmates had arranged in your two-day senior retreat just four years ago. On that night, after a whole day of tedious team-building activities and an evening of getting lectured by your teachers on house rules, most of Class 2 gathered at the boys' shared room for swiped alcohol and midnight snacks.
At that time, it was Daehwi who had asked and the context was the equally traditional game of truth or dare. When Beomgyu was picked for the second time that night, he surprisingly chose truth, prompting the question everyone has apparently been asking among themselves.
"Would you date Y/N?"
Beomgyu laughed. It was always his instinct to laugh whenever his own relatives asked the same question or when you would tell your own similar experiences but also because he saw you throwing your head back in laughter as well from where you were seated between Yunjin and Ryujin.
But what really solidifies this question as an inside joke between the two of you was the time when you watched When Harry Met Sally together at a sleepover in Beomgyu's house a year before the class retreat.
It was the classic friends to lovers romcom that you ended up watching in that particular sleepover in the first place because Yunjin mentioned that it reminded her of you and Beomgyu. So of course it had to be brought up before you could accidentally fall asleep on Beomgyu that night, you pointing to Billy Crystal and Meg Ryan before smacking Beomgyu in the head and asking the exact same question the boy would face at the senior retreat.
"Without thinking about all the gross couple shit like kissing or whatever," You gagged between your question, making Beomgyu roll his eyes and scoff. "would you date me?"
"First of all: gross—"
"That's why I said without all the couple stuff!"
"Still gross! Why would you think of that question!"
Back to the class retreat, once Beomgyu had calmed down from laughing and before Jeongin or Hueningkai could start leading the teasing on how you and your best friend reacted to the question in the same way at the same time, he said, "Y/N has shit taste in people. It'd be an insult to myself if they start liking me, even more if we do date."
You laughed even harder, repeating the words back to him. "Ya, you have shit taste in people too!"
Daehwi almost did a whole spit take with his glass of Cola while hearing your exchange. "Damn, you two are brutal with each other!"
Taehyun told Beomgyu later on that he felt as if that particular answer could be misinterpreted as the latter being mean to you. But your best friend was quick to explain that it's something you actually talked about in the aforementioned sleepover. You also backed him up on this over breakfast the next day when you sat with the two boys.
On the night of your sleepover, after you asked the question and Beomgyu was done making his teasing disgusted faces in front of you, he had said the exact same words for the first time and even elaborated on it.
And like Daehwi, you also almost did a spit take hearing it for the first time but your own glass of hot chocolate.
"You had a crush on Yeonjun two years ago before he was cool and you dated that annoying what's-her-name from the softball team who, by the way, cheated on you before you could even celebrate 100 days." The blunt 11th-grader Beomgyu said in front of your surprised face on that sleepover. "Ah, and don't get me started on that time you were swooning over that asshole Taejoon from Class 7 last semester because he sat next to you on the bus when I got the flu? You were crushing on a guy who thought he was jack shit and played with a lot of girls while I was almost dying in the hospital! Shit taste and inconsiderate!"
You and Beomgyu also did not forget to mention to Taehyun about how you almost smothered Beomgyu to death with a pillow in response, pausing the movie so Meg Ryan didn't have to see the crime you were about to do before tackling your best friend on the bed.
"Hey, Yeonjun's cool and Minji from softball really is an asshole but I didn't know Taejoon had a reputation in Class 7 back then! I just thought he was cute and really polite to the old ladies and the kids on the bus!" You retorted aggressively, smacking Beomgyu's face repeatedly with the Hello Kitty pillow he lent you for that night. "And I visited you with the boys and Yunjin after school while you were sick to catch you up in class, you ungrateful brat! I have shit taste but I'll never be inconsiderate to you!
"While we're at it, you also have shit taste, mind you! Pining after girls like Yeeun and Rina right when they start dating other people! Ah, and you dated that girl, Areum, in the 9th grade too even when everyone kept telling you that she was trying to get to Soobin through you! Shit taste and idiotic!"
Your college years would not spare the both of you from having more strings of failed romantic relationships just as much as it did not stop all the questions from friends, both new and old, about Beomgyu's relationship with you so the answer always remained the same: both of you have shit taste in people so dating each other would be somehow insults to yourselves.
But there are times, of course, when it would just be you and Beomgyu alone and, instead of the usual jokes and banter, he allows himself to be just slightly honest for the sake of his sanity and to make sure that you never feel as if he has some hidden ill-intent in always jokingly bringing up the uglier sides of your dating history.
In another sleepover at his house last summer, he didn't fight you when you decide on watching My Best Friend's Wedding and blurted out halfway, "As your own best friend, I think you deserve the best."
Though no one did a spit take this time, you did momentarily freeze while trying to tuck yourself in under the weighted blanket you were sharing. On his laptop perched comfortably on a foldable table, the movie was coincidentally at the part where Julia Roberts was delivering the iconic, "Choose Me” speech.
“I'll have to say this quick or I'm just going to have this massive coronary and then you'll never hear it and.....and....you have to. This is, by far the dumbest thing I've ever done in my entire life.” Julia Roberts dramatically delivered on the laptop screen as if filling in the silence. “Ugh—so dumb in fact—uh—that I can't...... oh but I'm gonna.”
“What’s wrong?” Her male lead, Dermont Mulroney, asked and Beomgyu felt like he should be asking that question to you when your silence started dragging on for too long.
When you did regain your composure, you chuckled nervously. "I-I mean yeah, I know, but...what's with that all of a sudden?" You furrowed your brows up at him.
And like he was mirroring you, Beomgyu also paused for a moment as he too contemplated on why he said it out of nowhere.
Meanwhile, Julia Roberts just continued delivering her lines flawlessly, filling in the silence between the two of you. “Michael......I love you. I've loved you for nine years. I've just been too arrogant and scared to realize it and, well, now I'm just scared. So I, I......realize that this comes at a very inopportune time. But I really have this gigantic favor to ask of you.” Though the sound coming in on your respective earphones was only at 75%, suddenly it felt louder the longer that Beomgyu didn't speak. “Choose me? Marry me. Let me make you happy.”
Beomgyu scratched the nape of his neck and smiled sheepishly, turning away for a second as you finally pause the movie and the light illuminates the side of his face a little too brightly.
“Oh God, please don’t tell me you’re gonna pull a Julia Roberts right now. You know—“
“What? No!"
“Then answer the question!”
"I just remembered, you know, how we always say that we won't date each other because we both have shitty taste in people and everything." He shrugged when he did explain himself, unconsciously sinking lower on the bed as he pressed his back harder on the bed frame behind you. "And I know it's a joke and all but I—I also think that you deserve better than someone like me...or Yeonjun, Soobin, Tae, and Hyuka.
“Though I guess it is hard to find someone better than us, especially me and Soobin, I think you should still look for someone who’s really kind, smart, and will never give you a hard time. You deserve someone who looks out for you and makes you feel like home but also like you’re flying.
“Someone who’s funny too but not too funny to upstage me! Just enough to get you through the dark times because you do get really stressed out these days. I—I don’t know, I guess I was just thinking about—about that, yeah…”
You relaxed your expression as he spoke, though a small pout remained. "Okay..." You pressed play on the laptop again with a laugh. "Random but okay.”
“I give my whole heart out to you in a speech and that’s all you have to say?”
“What else do you want me to say?” You scoffed and playfully nudged him away, earning you a dramatic wince from him. "With how you generally act around people I like, it's not that hard to figure out that it's because you think this way."
“Yeah but, I don’t know, maybe say it back to me too and comfort my lonely, lonely heart?” He rolled his eyes and crossed his arms in response.
“I think that’s a you problem. We all tell you to just get yourself out there then you reject every person who throws themself at you.”
The boy feigned a glare next. “I’m going to kill you in your sleep later.”
“Fine.” You rolled your eyes, moving carefully on the bed to face him fully. “You deserve someone infinitely better than me too. Someone gorgeous—not just pretty!—and smart enough to keep your dumbass in check and just overall awesome, but not too awesome, of course! I’m literally the coolest person you’ll ever meet…ever!”
"Oh you flatter me, Y/N!" He exclaimed dramatically with his hands to his chest, smiling when you snorted and turned your attention back to the laptop again to press play on the movie.
Though he partly thinks otherwise—that it’s impossible that there’s someone out there infinitely better than you overall—he does agree that you are the coolest person in his life.
"You're so annoying." You mumbled under your breath and he quickly retaliated by pinching your cheek affectionately. "Ya!"
"You love me."
"I know right, how will I even find someone better than you?" You teased but Beomgyu's observant enough to understand that you only mean it halfway.
"Maybe you won't?" He teased back with a wink. "I know for sure no one's better than you."
"Shut up."
III. WE ARE EXTREME OPPOSITES (AND WE ANNOY EACH OTHER A LOT)
If you were to be asked about the things that annoy you about Beomgyu and vice versa, you both would probably need a month of preparation and a year each just to list everything you've come up with. Sure, you’ve known each other for a long enough time to be comfortable in each other’s presence but that doesn’t make everyday perfect as there are still instances when you get the undeniable urge to smack him in the head or dropkick him for being insufferable.
If you were to make a top five shortlist, however, the fact that Beomgyu has no concept of personal space when it comes to you would take the cake—pinching your cheeks, holding your hand whenever a remotely attractive person passes you by, always putting his legs on top of yours, hugging you to death, and always headlocking you when you meet up among others.
But beyond that, ever since he got comfortable with initiating skinship with you around the 3rd grade, he's also somehow managed to convince himself that he had the right to be all up in your personal business too even when you didn't want him to—from simple things like stealing your food, spamming you with messages the second you don't reply as quickly as he'd like, to always having insisting that he accompanies you whenever you mention going to a new place, online stalking anyone you find interesting, randomly popping up at the studio in the Fine Arts department, and loosely keeping tabs on people you hang out with.
There have been times, however, when Beomgyu’s nosiness has actually saved you from a date or unwanted attention in public and even comforted you. In elementary and high school, whenever you’re allowed to pick groupmates, he’s always ready with gossip about everyone’s work ethic for some reason. Whenever a creep at the mall or at a party would try to hit on you, he’s always by your side ready with a glare and all intent to report the creep to the authorities. And even when he’s a shit drunk, he’s always aware enough to defend you whenever your friends pick on you.
But more importantly, as the more reserved person between the two of you, Beomgyu’s always the one who’s forcing you to open up to at least one person when you’re down (aka him).
The first sleepover that the two of you ever had was in the 6th grade when Beomgyu invited himself over to your house and stayed up with you until 3 AM to finish a Science project your three other groupmates basically gave up on. You never asked him to do it, just complained about it over lunch once, then suddenly he was barging in your house with his own stationary and your Science teacher already notified of how your groupmates have been slacking the past two weeks.
“Why did you do that?” You pouted after turning in your finished paper online. Fortunately for the two of you that time, it was a Friday and sleeping in wasn’t going to be an issue, especially for 6th grader Beomgyu who had the tendency to sleep the whole day. “I could’ve just told Mrs. Kim on Monday myself.”
Beomgyu shrugged as he fluffed the pillows and arranged your plushies on the bed. He hasn’t had his sudden growth spurt at that time so fitting in your old bed frame was still fairly easy then. “Knowing you and how long your groupmates have been bailing on you, you’d probably chicken out if Yunjin or I don’t do it ourselves or push you to do it.”
“No—“
“You know I’m right.“
You glared at him then, standing up from your desk to punch his arm. “I hate you.”
But he only rolled his eyes. “Then next time, I’ll try to not meddle that much anymore. Just…when our classmates are taking advantage of your kindness like this again, report it immediately, okay?” He nagged, his voice soft while his expression was determined. “Even if you don’t tell me directly, I know you’ve been having a hard time with that even more this year for some reason and, knowing you, you’d rather suck it up because you think you’re bothering people when you bring it up when you’re not.”
“That’s not true.”
“Y/N.” He squinted his eyes and pursed his lips.
You scoffed, climbing in the bed and laying down on the side next to the wall. “Okay, maybe sometimes it’s true.”
“Y/N.” He repeated your name in the same tone, lying next to you with your teddy bear in his arms. "Ms. Fluffy doesn't think so and I kind of agree with her."
You rolled your eyes in response, Beomgyu catching the gesture before he could turn off your bedside lamp. “Fine, fine. I admit it, I wasn’t—I wasn’t planning to tell Mrs. Kim because I thought my groupmates would get mad and think of me as a nuisance.” You winced at the admission, lifting your blanket up to your nose.
But Beomgyu was quick to stop your hand, flicking your forehead after. “Stop doing that. You literally did half of your paper, even the parts you weren’t assigned to. You’re far from a nuisance.” He retorted, tucking Ms. Fluffy the teddy bear next to you. “And Mrs. Kim’s job is literally to make sure we’re not having a hard time learning, she’d understand.”
That time, and most times when Beomgyu would be the one nagging you, you felt like shrinking under his fierce gaze. “I don’t want to get into trouble with anyone in class—“
“I’d fight anyone off for you if that happens."
“But I can handle myself if ever!”
“Now, you’re just contradicting yourself.” He pointed out with a chuckle, settling down next to you. “Just...next time, okay? You should never suffer in silence by choice, you’re better than that.”
You had no choice but to nod in agreement and fulfill your promise that very next Monday, talking to Mrs. Kim yourself to elaborate on the incident further with Beomgyu holding your hand the entire time.
Most of the time, it's sweet and thoughtful that your best friend looks out for you out of genuine concern. You can’t admit it to his face, knowing he’ll tease you endlessly for it, but you like Beomgyu having his full attention on you most of the time and how he can literally rival your family as the person who knows you best.
But alas, there are still numerous instances when it's caused you more harm than good to disastrous levels.
At the top of your head, there was that incident in the summer before your sophomore year when Yeji first set you up on a blind date with Theo, a friend of a friend from the Vocal Performance department.
You even made sure that Beomgyu wouldn't get anywhere near your bowling date, threatening all of your mutual friends to keep the agenda a secret over message (and free food for Taehyun and Hueningkai) and scheduling the date on the same weekend Beomgyu was going to take an exam for one of his summer classes.
However, when Theo briefly left you alone in your lane to buy snacks, a familiar mop of brown hair, black hoodie, and a pair of thick-rimmed glasses suddenly whooshed in your peripheral vision, followed by two figures in hoodies you unmasked at the end of the night as Yeonjun and Soobin.
Another annoying thing that Beomgyu does is that when he’s “investigating” something—whether it’s a friend’s date or that time everyone thought Taehyun was secretly seeing someone—he always brings the same get-up of hoodie and thick-rimmed glasses along as "disguise." It's a stupid idea that first came to him when Yunjin went on her very first date in high school that he never bothered to change even when everyone started catching on, making it easier to spot him in your surroundings.
Though he didn't approach you until you approached him back in your dorms, it was still unnerving to spot him, Yeonjun, and Soobin playing five lanes away from you and your date. Their glances felt heavy on your back as the night went on.
"He was literally in two of your classes last semester. It's not like he's some stranger to you." You frowned at Beomgyu after letting Yeonjun and Soobin go with an earful of a speech of their own. Though you and Theo agreed that you clicked better as friends, you still lectured and nagged at your three friends in your dorm's communal kitchen with Beomgyu staying an hour longer than the other two. "How did you even get to the bowling alley? I thought you have an exam tonight?"
"My exam was only until 7 PM so I got Yeonjun to drive us to the bowling alley as soon as I got out. It was a celebratory thing for me too! That English final really kicked me in the ass, if you must know." Beomgyu answered with a pout, hands deep in his hoodie pockets and his glasses slipping on his nose. "And even if I do know Theo in passing, I don't know him that way. He’s more Yeji’s friend than mine. What if he was a shit dude when it comes to dates? What if he stood you up tonight or something?"
"You say that for all the people I like."
Beomgyu waved his hand dismissively in defense. "I only say that to the objectively trashy ones and the ones I don’t know enough about. Theo’s under the second category.”
"Still! You get what I mean!" You frowned as you smacked him on the back of his head, earning you a wince from him. "Gyu, once, just one date where you leave me alone. No disguises and no spam texts. Can you do that?"
There's a long pause that followed after with Beomgyu opening his mouth a couple of times only to close it back again, keeping you on edge for what felt like forever but was only for around five minutes.
He never told you what he was going to say at first or if he was even thinking of something else to say, you can just easily infer that it's different from what he actually ended up saying with the way his expression softened right before he finally spoke.
"Only if you tell me more about these things before you actually go on them. Even just the basic things are fine.” He frowned this time, crossing his arms. Even without you scanning every inch of his face, his expression easily gave away to the fact that he was thinking of saying something else but was trying his best to hold back. “I’m...I'm worried, okay? I don’t want you getting in trouble.”
"You know I can handle myself. We've been through this hundreds of times, I'm not that kid from the 4th grade who couldn't tell on my shit groupmates." You interjected, crossing your arms in front of the taller boy. "Anyway, if I ever need help, you're always the first one I'll call, you already know that."
He pouted down at you. "Sure?"
And you nodded with a laugh at his ridiculous expression, uncrossing your arms as you couldn't fight the amusement creeping up on you whenever Beomgyu tries to act cute anymore. "Positive."
So on the next two blind dates that Yeji set up for you that summer, you were pretty sure that Beomgyu only kept tabs on you through text as the hoodie and glasses were nowhere to be seen when you and your dates went out.
On Beomgyu’s end, if he were to pick a top one habit of yours that he finds the most annoying it would be your tendency to hide your artworks from him until it’s finished when he’s always showing you his drafts.
Much like how you often try hiding your burdens, troubles, and blind dates from him, you often ban Beomgyu from seeing your drafts and sketches until the work itself is done which, as a fellow artist, makes him want to sneak up on you even more.
Especially when you think that you’ll be working on a particular project for a long time or if it’s in a medium you haven’t tried before, you’d often be blocking Beomgyu from seeing a peek of your plans out of a weird superstition that you might not finish anything if you hear a comment from him too early.
As your musician best friend who’s always showing you his own work even when it’s still disjointed lyrics and melodies in his head, Beomgyu sometimes thinks that you don’t trust him enough in something important as your own art. Without you knowing, it hurts him a bit sometimes because it’s as if he can’t be useful for you in that sense when you're always his most trusted critic when it comes to his music.
“It’s not like I can possibly make a bad comment.” Beomgyu insisted sometime during midterms as you talked over your senior thesis projects over dinner. It was almost 2 AM in your dorm’s communal kitchen, your mugs only half-filled with lukewarm chocolate when the boy asked if he could take a peek at your sketchbook after letting you hear some of his new music. “With you and your art? Impossible to make any bad comments I’m telling you!”
“Eh, but—“ Maybe it was the tiredness from having been up for 24 hours straight, trying to stay on top of your piling requirements, that unlike your usual response to Beomgyu’s pouting and puppy eyes, you decided to blurt out, “I just—I don’t know…I think too highly of your opinion.”
Beomgyu was effectively rendered frozen and speechless, missing the way you slouched your shoulders and hid your face behind your hair after your confession. “I—what?”
“Don’t make me repeat it.” You deadpanned, taking another sip of your chocolate next to him. At least with your shoulders touching, you couldn't see the way his expression unconsciously softened while listening to you. "It's already embarrassing enough as it is."
“But…but why?”
“Why what?”
“Why would you think highly of my opinion? It’s just me.” Beomgyu chuckled nervously, feeling his face heat up in embarrassment as he spoke. “Not like I’m a professional artist or whatever.”
“Do I really have to say it?”
Beomgyu nodded, pursing his lips. "I'm being serious right now." He pretended to squint his eyes and furrow his brows and you rolled your eyes in response.
With a sigh, you then answered. “It’s exactly because you’re you. You’re Choi Beomgyu, the annoying kid from the neighborhood who just decided one day that he’d join me at the plastic tables in the playground when he saw me drawing flowers on my mom's notepad. The one who bought me my first oil paint set for Christmas in the 7th grade because he said he noticed how much I enjoyed it in our Art class. The one who always adds more compliments to my work along with actually helpful feedback even when I ask for criticisms only because he’s too nice for his own good but he’s also very intuitive.
“You…annoying as it is, you’re kind of very important in my art and it makes me nervous sometimes to show you anything before it’s complete because I think it has to be perfect and totally not disappointing even when you first see it. I only want you to see good things from me...”
While the silence that followed felt like an hour for you, it felt like forever in Beomgyu's mind as his thoughts flew to the memories as you mentioned them.
Much like you, he can also vividly remember how exactly you befriended each other at the playground then, when he complimented your doodle of the daisy bushes by the swings because you drew them a little too well for a five-year-old with broken crayons and an unsharpened pencil. You even complained to him that you can render the flowers better if you just didn't forget your sharpener at home, leading to a whole conversation that you continued at the swings where he offered to push you for the rest of that afternoon.
He remembers that 7th grade Christmas when he picked your name for the class Secret Santa and didn't even have to read more on the wishlist below your name because he was already set on buying you an oil paint set and some brushes to go with it outside of the classroom. He knew you were saving up to buy it in the summer yourself but he also knew that it'd make you even happier to get it six months earlier so it was easy for him to take money from his own savings that were supposed to go on a new ukulele.
But more importantly, his mind lingers to a memory you didn't mention, to that day outside of the teacher's lounge when you were first filling in your college applications. While your other friends were talking animatedly about what they were planning to do after your high school graduation, you were unusually quiet next to Beomgyu as you filled out your application which quickly prompted him to ask if you were okay.
"What did you put in your program?" He had asked after, leaning his head on your shoulder only for you to cover the top half of your application with your hands. "Ya, I want to see!"
"No, it's embarrassing!" You protested, moving the form away from his peering eyes when his hand tries to reach for it. "You'll know later anyway if I pass Seoul University!"
"You mean 'when' you pass." He corrected, resting his chin on your shoulder this time before peering up at you. "And why are you embarrassed over your program? It's not the most embarrassing choice you've made in front of me."
"Ya!"
"So what is it?"
You leaned away from him and Beomgyu found it weirdly strange to be on eye-level with you while seated after he's suddenly grown almost a head taller than you over the summer. "I might...do a double degree on Painting and Sculpture."
"What's embarrassing about that? If anything, I'd be surprised if those two are nowhere near your top five options." He raised a brow almost instinctively. "Y/N, a double degree's impressive as hell!"
"It's just that..." You stumbled shyly over your words, scratching the nape of your neck. "I don't know, it's a shot in the dark. It's not like I'm that good like how you're great with your music."
"That's bullshit. You've always been talented and hardworking when it comes to your art. If anything, it's me who's always trying to catch up with you." He countered immediately, sitting up straight with a serious expression on his face. "And it's something you love and want to learn more of so why would it be embarrassing? Be confident and own your passions, Y/N."
"They might not actually see that if I don't do well in the exams and the portfolio I turn in. For all we know, I suck compared to other people."
"You literally just won a mural competition last summer." Beomgyu rolled his eyes. "Admissions would be dumb to reject you."
Looking back on that memory almost four years ago, the revelation of what you really think of him makes Beomgyu's head spin that he had to quickly snap himself back to reality when you downed the last of your chocolate and mumbled how opening up was a mistake to yourself.
"I'm going to bed." You announced, rubbing your eyes tiredly and clutching your mug to your chest.
Before you could leave the table, however, Beomgyu quickly grabs onto your arm. "Wait, wait, no!"
"I'm tired as shit. You can rub my emotional comments on my face tomorrow morning."
"It's not that." Beomgyu frowned, tugging on your arm for you to sit down again. When you hesitantly follow along with him, he then continued, "It's just...is that why you tried hiding your application form from me back then?"
"I mean, I wasn't as confident in myself then as I am now and I had my other doubts about taking the program itself but...yeah, I guess." You shrugged slowly, looking everywhere but him. "I also thought that if I take both Painting and Sculpture, I have to make you proud no matter what."
On any other day, he would've teased you for it but he knew you'd probably smack his head on the table in that moment. So, instead, he held back on a smile and nudged you gently on the shoulder. "You make me proud no matter what you do." He assured. "And, if you must know, I also think highly of your opinion on my music...I guess we just show it in different ways.
"And if you're not ready to show me some of your new projects yet, it's okay. I can wait for all of them because I know they'll all turn out great."
You then looked up at him with raised brows. "Even if I make you wait until graduation for some of them?"
"I might ask Ryujin or Soobin to take photos of your progress for me if I have to wait that long." He joked, making you chuckle. "You know, the usual."
"Sure you will." You scoffed before picking up his mug on the table and standing up again. "Dude, come on, we really have to go to bed."
IV. WE KEEP SECRETS FROM EACH OTHER
It's not to say, however, that there aren't any instances when your roles are unwittingly reversed. Beomgyu also closes himself off from you and everyone else from time to time and you naturally end up being the nosy one banging on his door and demanding for him to at least let you know that he's eating well.
It's often when Beomgyu's stressed—when there's too much work to be done, especially in his music, or when he suddenly finds himself in a problem that he unusually doesn't share with you at the first encounter.
In these moments, you usually start noticing a week before he could even lock himself in his room and isolate himself from all of your friends. Especially since university began when you'd mostly meet in the day at lunch with your friends, he'd stop pestering you to elaborate more on a story you'd tell half-heartedly but he'll still hold your hand under the tables in front of all of your friends, squeezing it more often than usual out of anxiety.
And his smile never reaches his eyes when he's stressed, the same way his laugh would be quieter, an easy giveaway that he's going through something he's decided to keep on his own.
So as someone who's noticed his patterns over the years, you let him be at first, squeezing his hand back and initiating all the jokes in the group for him to finish with the punchline so he doesn't linger too much in his own thoughts.
Then when Hueningkai or Soobin do message you that Beomgyu hasn't left his room except to go to only half of his classes, you're quick to come up to his dorm with takeout and whatever project you're working on, knowing that what he really needs best in these moments is company.
There's times when Beomgyu acts extra bratty and doesn't let you in his personal space for a couple of days, a week at most like the time he was so stressed about Toto getting sick back in your Freshman year. It takes a lot of time out of your week and money from your weekly allowance buying him food but you wait patiently by his door anyway, catching up on your studies on the hallway floor if you're at the dorms or outside his room back in your neighborhood and occasionally knocking on his door to ensure that he's still alive.
But when he does let you in, opening the door just wide enough for you to see his bloodshot tired eyes and a blanket over his head, you take the initiative to open the door wider and hug him before anything else.
You almost never initiate skinship as much as you never share things until they're prodded out of you by Beomgyu, he knows that well so that's exactly what you do when you first see him in this state. All the time.
You don't speak until he lets you go and you're allowed to occupy his space with him. Back in your old neighborhood, you would put your things on his desk next to his own and work quietly until he decides to open up to you on his own accord.
Since college started, however, things have been slightly different in that once you're in the room, you'd sit on his bed first and let him hug you until he's ready to talk. If his roommate, Hueningkai, would be there at the end of the day, you'd throw a shoe at the younger boy and ask him to come back after dinner with the promise that you'd play Mario Kart with him the next weekend.
When Beomgyu's stressed, he likes it better when it's just the two of you, your exact opposite since you'd rather have all of your close friends with you on a hangout when you're in a similar state of mind.
The most stressed Beomgyu has been in college was when he was finishing the first official album for TXT, the band he formed with Yeonjun, Soobin, Taehyun, and Hueningkai in the summer before your freshman year. It was in the second semester of your junior year, when both of you were also preparing for internship applications on top of academics and the clubs piling one on top of each other that you sort of saw this coming as soon as you felt stressed out yourself.
Beomgyu only let you in his dorm room on your fifth day of camping out, crying out his frustrations on your shoulders for almost two hours that you had to change into one of his shirts after and ask Hueningkai to bring up a whole pitcher of water for your best friend to drink over dinner.
"I—I...I just...I can't! I can't finish the songs! I'm going insane!" He exclaimed on your shoulder, his cries muffled against you but you don't mind as you continue rubbing his back in circles and reminding him to breathe. "And...and nothing's been going my way these days! Not in my classes, not in the radio show or on the soccer team! I'm just...I'm just so out of it, Y/N!"
You hummed comfortingly, carefully moving both him and yourself so you're both sitting up properly once more. You then pointed to his open laptop and computer screens on the desk across the room with a small smile, "I can see your progress from here, though. You've been doing well. You're trying and getting things done, that's what matters."
"It's not all that good..."
You shook your head almost immediately, handing him another pack of tissues you've brought with you before discarding the used ones in the nearby trash bin. "Yes, it is! I've heard the drafts before you locked yourself up in here, they're all great." You retorted, tilting your head when he buries his face in the crook of your neck once more. "I think I like Thursday's Child Has Far To Go and Maze in the Mirror the most. They're very you.
"And about your classes and clubs, just take your time with them. Soobin and I e-mailed some of your profs already, Jeongin and Tae are handling the radio show well, and I'm sure Sunwoo and the rest of the soccer team would understand your absence for now.
"For now, just do what you want to do. Rest if you want to rest. If you want to focus on the band, then that's fine too. Everything will align themselves in time, just please don't forget to take care of yourself."
"And if they don't? Align themselves in time, I mean?"
His breathing was ragged then from all of the crying and his eyes the reddest and puffiest you've ever seen them. You figured from then on that you really hate seeing Beomgyu cry in frustration the most.
"They will, I promise. They always do with you." You replied without thinking, hesitantly patting his head and gently wiping his tears with your thumbs. "And you know I'll stay with you here until you're satisfied with your progress. Or at least for a couple of days because I have tons of presentations next week."
He sniffled a bit, spraying his hands with alcohol and adjusting the blanket wrapped around him. "W-What are you going to work on in a bit?"
You scoffed, already expecting that he'd ask. "I brought a project for my Sculpture II class, if that's okay. I also brought newspapers so I don't make a mess on the floor." You answered anyway, chuckling when his eyes immediately lit up. "You've been bugging me about it so I thought I can show you the my progress just this once to cheer you up."
And as if a light switch was turned, the glossiness previously in his eyes suddenly looked like sparkles as he sat up straight. "I could smother your face in kisses right now."
"Wipe that snot off of your nose first." You pretended to cringe when he dramatically opened his arms wide and puckered his lips. At that moment, you immediately knew that he was feeling a bit better, at least. "Geez, sometimes, I think you just sulk sometimes to get me to come here and show you my works early."
"I'm not that evil!" He pouted, taking the weighted blanket off of his back and getting off the bed. "Though, now that you've suggested it..."
A pillow then quickly landed on his face. "Choi Beomgyu!"
So you spent three nights at Beomgyu and Hueningkai's dorm room, working on a bust of Yeonjun (it's a long story involving you losing a bet to him at your last group hangout) on the floor while Beomgyu finished the final edits to TXT's songs. You then go back to your own dorm room before breakfast to freshen up for your class then come back again after your classes, often around 4 PM.
And when Beomgyu finally caught up with his classes and extra-curriculars, he surprised you with an invitation to TXT's surprise album launch over a month later.
Another thing about Beomgyu is that he's strangely great with surprises, preparing elaborate plans for occasions like your birthday, the holidays, or when he's bounced back from a difficult situation right under your nose.
Initially, the boys only told you that they'd release the album after finals week and play it at the year-end school festival, the first time they would be performing a full set of original songs. Though you, Yeji, Ryujin, and Yunjin insisted that they should do a proper album launch, all five of the boys just kept saying excuses or shifting the topic to something else.
On your last official school day for that semester, however, you suddenly received a notification from TXT's social medias about a surprise album launch at a cafe you frequent with all of your friends and a personal message from Beomgyu telling you to come over 30 minutes before the show.
So in retaliation, you made sure to stop over at the nearest flower shop with the girls and surprise Beomgyu with at least a congratulatory bouquet of roses, the same size as the one he gave you all of those years ago.
Said bouquet almost getting ruined when Beomgyu hugged you the moment you entered the cafe.
"You came!" He exclaimed giddily on your neck, almost toppling you to the ground as his arms encircled your waist. "You came! You came! You came!"
You scoffed, taking a moment to regain your footing as you rested your cheek against your best friend and carefully held the bouquet behind his head. "Of course I'd come. I'm your number one fan."
"Sure you are." He feigned a sniffle before tilting his head away to press a kiss to your cheek. "But still, thank you for coming. This means a lot to me."
"I know."
"You helped finished this album."
"I doubt that. I just worked with you in silence for three days straight."
He shook his head fervently, pulling away from you fully by then and leading you to the makeshift stage across the room. "You helped me refocus and get back on my feet so I can finish everything. I think you helped big time." He retorted before picking up his guitar from its stand. "Anyway, I have another surprise!"
"I only got you one." You feigned a frown while shaking the bouquet in your hands, making him chuckle before occupying the empty high stool next to him. "I'll have to get back at you again after this."
"You're already doing so much for me coming here tonight. And you bought me really expensive flowers!" He assured, strumming the guitar a few times. When you then opened your mouth to retort, he quickly interjected, "Anyway, I wrote this song for you! I'm still thinking if I want us to perform this later but I really just want to play it for you right now before anything."
So in the middle of that cafe, while your friends ran around preparing the decorations and doing soundchecks, Beomgyu sang his song, "Nap of a Star," with his guitar on his lap and his phone with the lyrics on the music stand.
"I can see even without you in front of me. I feel you, even without saying anything. Because I believe in you, even if I'm anxious
"I can touch even without you in front of my eyes. I reach even if you go far away from me. Just by remembering you, my heart always dances like before
"I want to become your nap and dream together always as if nothing happened. The evening sunset and the darkened night sky, my heart is full of you."
He occasionally giggled and fumbled on the guitar a bit everytime he glanced over in your general direction but he finished the song with you nearly in tears, something you instinctively hid by smacking him in the arm once the guitar was out of the way.
"You jerk! You wrote that for me? Are you sure?" You exclaimed, rapidly blinking back tears. "And I only got you flowers today! God, you're making me look like a bad friend!"
He rolled his eyes, getting down from the high stool and standing in front of you. With your own chair's height, you were easily at eye-level with him as he smiled at you. "I already told you, just coming over to hear us is already enough. Don't worry about it." He assured. "Anyway, what did you think of the song?"
"It's beautiful, of course." You scoffed half-heartedly, making him chuckle. "Was that night walk in the lyrics about—?"
"That night walk at the art fair? Yeah." He grinned shyly, rubbing the nape of his neck.
Once, in the 9th grade, you had a big fight with Beomgyu over Areum, at that point his ex-girlfriend. What you both do remember the most about it is how it happened on the week before a planned trip to an art fair in the busier district of Seoul that you were really excited about.
Though you were pretty sure that you weren't on speaking terms with him that time, he still showed up at the bus stop on the day itself, prompting you to apologize to each other before heading to the art fair together.
"You were crying like shit in public that we had to move to a more secluded area because people were looking. Then, you almost choked me to death with your hug." You recalled in confusion. "Not like I was any better but..."
"I put it in because I really thought our friendship was over then." He explained with a pout. "Then the first words we told each other when you saw me at the bus stop were apologies and...ah, it's very cheesy but I just think back to that time whenever I miss you. I think it's one of those moments I remember when I think of our bond."
You smack him again, this time directly on his chest, but the tears also flow freely this time. "God, you're so...you're so poetic and annoying! And you're making me cry!"
"I take that as a win." He laughed deeply as he hugged you, one hand rubbing your back soothingly while the other cupped your face and wiped your tears gently.
"How can you even say those things without crying? We've been friends for almost 16 years, damn it, Gyu." You mumbled in his plaid shirt, hugging him back. "I-I really love the song…”
"Years of practice on how to say it properly, actually." He joked half-heartedly, rubbing your back even more and mumbling to a passing Soobin something about the last preparations for the album launch. "That's why I do all the talking for us."
V. I LOVE YOU TOO MUCH
Your thesis for your Painting degree, you realize right before the Winter break this senior year, is the perfect surprise to get back at Beomgyu. While you've briefly mentioned that you'll have to take an extra year to complete your Sculpture degree's senior thesis, you're focusing on your Painting degree in your 4th year and have miraculously kept it under wraps from everyone including your best friend because everything's been hidden in your laptop and at the studios.
At the same time, it sort of fits. Though overall, most of the studies, actual finished works, and research you've done so far for your thesis are focused on human relationships overall, traces of Beomgyu have been slipping in here and there, reminding you that it's quite hard to paint anything about your friends or your first love without him.
He's in the series of studies you did of all of your friend groups, in a watercolor rendition of the faces you remember from your old neighborhood's playground, and even in a charcoal rendition of your favorite romance book characters as your thesis advisor suggested that you try and explore.
And he's in even more finished works and abandoned sketches way before that, some you unconvered in your old binders while researching for your thesis.
It could just be the extra hustle and bustle of your senior year, with you and all of your friends busier than ever as you work on your final year. Not to mention, you still have to prepare balancing a job at the university museum with your fifth year classes next year and Beomgyu's been busy putting out new music with TXT and discussing a junior producer position at an entertainment company.
But it's been almost a whole month since you last went to a proper lunch (one that isn't jut coffee and convenience store ramen) with any of your friends which is a whole record for you and Beomgyu, in particular. You're probably just missing the guy a bit too much these days that even just getting his daily cheer up messages has been messing with your thoughts all over again.
(Not that it doesn't mess you up on any normal day. It's just a tad bit extra now that you haven't seen his face around in a while)
So when you brought up to your thesis advisor the idea of painting a portrait of Beomgyu, the studies of which you would gift him for Christmas then remake as a proper oil painting for your thesis after the Winter break, there wasn't much of a complaint on her part.
Hell, you might even suspect that Prof Kim, a mentor whom you've also had in past studio classes, has been secretly rooting for you this whole time after years of always seeing Beomgyu randomly pop up around the department building.
"And what kind of relationship will a portrait of Choi Beomgyu represent in your exhibit?" She asked on Monday with a teasing glint in her eyes, a copy of your project research in her hands.
Your face heated up in an instant as you fumbled over your words, something you quickly excuse as a reaction related to the snow outside. "I—well...I'll figure that out later which I know is a cop out answer academically but I'll connect it to something in my RRL later, I promise!"
Prof Kim chuckled, closing her binder. "I'm kidding, I'm kidding! Personally, I think you already have it in your RRL and project proposal, you just need to make a more explicit mention of your friend in the paper moving forward since he'll be a subject in one of your finished works."
You nodded sheepishly, quickly gathering your things and standing up to bow at your advisor. "I'll e-mail you my progress again next week before the break!"
"No, no, it's okay! Just e-mail me after the holidays, I won't deduct grades or anything!"
A few days later, you're on the floor of your dorm room with Ryujin and Yeji cramming their own choreographies for their respective senior theses in another corner of the room while you finished your second study of Beomgyu, using your most recent photos as a reference.
The small 12x16 canvas you were working on sat comfortably on an equally small easel on your work desk, another canvas of the same dimensions drying by the windowsill next to a pile of old photos at the same time. Since your thesis would only require photos of your studies, you figured that you can give all of them to Beomgyu then make an extra oil painting of the two of you, knowing that he'd probably shy away (after making egotistical jokes, of course) if it's all just him.
"So what would the final painting be?" Ryujin suddenly asked as Yeji pauses the music for a five-minute break, approaching you as she drinks a bottle of cold water. "They're all so different."
You glanced over your shoulder and frown. "That's the thing, I'm not really sure how I want to paint him in the final work."
"Why?" Yeji asked this time, sitting cross-legged on a nearby mat.
You shrugged in response. "I don't know. Honestly, I thought if I do some studies, I'd get a clearer idea but I'm already three paintings in and I still have no plan of action for the one that actually counts to a grade." You sighed, turning your attention back to your unfinished painting.
"At least you have the Christmas gift ready!" Ryujin half-heartedly joked, sitting on an empty chair next to you. On your peripheral vision, you also caught Yeji nodding with a hopeful smile. "You don't have to paint the final work until after the break, anyway."
"Yeah, but it's the one that's going to be displayed at the exhibit at the end of the year." You pointed out matter-of-factly, carefully finishing the last layer of your painting. "And it has to be perfect."
"Maybe you can work something out over the break? You're going home to your neighborhood with Beomgyu and spending more time with him, anyway." Yeji suggested next. "Maybe then you'll have a clearer idea, hm?"
And Yeji was definitely right, as she always is, when you do go home to your old neighborhood with Beomgyu after the last official school day of the semester and find yourself hanging out in his childhood bedroom on the days leading up to Christmas much like the old days.
The idea comes to you on the afternoon of Christmas Eve almost two weeks later, when you invited yourself at the Choi's once more to listen to TXT's new songs and catch up with Toto. You sat cross-legged on Beomgyu's bed with your own earphones connected to his laptop and a live-sketch of the boy in his favorite green plaid shirt and freshly cut and dyed black hair on your lap.
Glancing over at him and seeing the way his eyes sparkled as you listened to "Way Home," it was a rather quick revelation to you that the best way to paint your best friend is in his most comfortable state. Just like this: when it's just the two of you drawing and listening to music, basking in the comfort of each other's company.
So you looked back at him again as the song transitioned to "Blue Hour," trying to take in as much of his features in that moment as much as you can. The faint sunlight coming in through the fogged up windows, Beomgyu's messy hair and skewed reading glasses, his hand propped up on his desk as he rested his cheek on his palm, his brows furrowed slightly in concentration as he worked only to consciously soften them when he looks at you, the way he talked animatedly about certain parts of the song with a boyish but proud grin on his lips.
Before you can even listen to the third song, you were already placing your hand on his upper arm and asking him to stay still for a moment.
"Why?" He asked, blinking twice while his hands go to pausing the song on his laptop anyway.
"I'm trying to memorize your face in this light." You answered absentmindedly, turning to a fresh page on your sketchbook and looking at him for a minute longer before removing your hand from him. "Okay."
"Okay?" He chuckled nervously. "What was that for? Are you going to send the mafia to kill me or something?"
You rolled your eyes, folding your knees closer to your chest to hide your sketchbook as you start anew. "It's a secret."
He then tried peering over your shoulder, moving the chair he was sitting on closer to the bed. "Are you drawing me?"
"Maybe." You teased with a smirk before pulling the sketchbook closer to your chest when he tried peering again. "Play the next song, Gyu."
Painting him in another solo portrait then on one of the two of you after that was relatively quick and easy as you finished your final gifts on Christmas Day while Beomgyu and his family went to a reunion out of town. While the last painting study, the one you'll render to a bigger canvas after the break, is him looking back at you fondly on that Christmas Eve afternoon, the additional painting of the two of you was from a candid photo Taehyun took when Beomgu played you Nap of a Star.
So now, here you are, in your room this time with the portraits gift-wrapped on the foot of your bed while your best friend handed you a late Christmas gift of his own.
"I was going to make it on my computer at first since everyone was sending in pictures on chats but then Yeonjun said that it might end up looking like the slideshows you have at funerals even with my superior editing skills." Beomgyu explained with a nervous chuckle as you unwrapped the gift, finding a thick scrapbook of all of your memories and mementos growing up. "Since everything else of you that I have—the pictures, the craft store receipts, Lotte World tickets, and everything—are all in boxes at home and at the dorms, I just thought I'd print the pictures I got from our friends and instead of scanning the things I already have then make it into a physical scrapbook.
"You did always say that you want to make one someday but we never really had the time so I thought I'd start it for you and, surprisingly, there are too many things in my own space that are yours or remind me of you."
You browse through the abnormally thick book in surprise and amusement, not even knowing that Beomgyu's kept even the simplest scraps of paper related to you after all these years. From the pictures his mom took of the two of you for every first day of school until the 12th grade to the candid photos he's taken of you over the years on his phone (regardless of how unflattering they are—you make sure to smack him in the arm everytime you come across one as you continue browsing) to notes you'd leave on his locker whenever he missed school and all the Christmas tags you've put on your previous gifts, it's the most detailed history of the two of you from when you met up until the present, complete with small captions handwritten by the boy himself.
So much so that you even linger on some of the pages you never thought you'd see, including the sketch you drew that day on the playground, the first note he passed you in class in the 1st grade, and a copy of the front page of the Science paper you crammed with him in the 6th grade.
"How did you even get some of these?" You ask, pointing to a photo of the two of you from your first Christmas together you somehow forgot existed. It was in the 1st grade when the Chois had to cancel going to their annual family reunion because of Mr. Choi's work so your families ended up watching the neighborhood fireworks display together. "I don't even think I have a copy of this!"
"That's from my mom! Also took her a long time to find on her phone." Beomgyu grins before turning to another page just full of flattened flowers, mostly daisies and roses. "And these are from all the bouquets you've bought me for recitals, graduations, and our first album launch! I kept at least one of everything because I wanted to use them in a project someday but I wasn't really sure what until I got the idea to make you a scrapbook."
"How did you even decide to give me a scrapbook for Christmas? And going through all the trouble of asking everyone we know for extra pictures? I thought you were busy with the band and your thesis?" You ask next, turning to the last page and finding a bunch of old letters and old invitations, the one from your senior prom standing out. By this point, it was hard to keep the stray tears at bay as you sniffle, making Beomgyu laugh before passing you tissues.
You went with all of your friends back then but you only danced alone with Beomgyu, somehow deluding yourself into thinking that he would confess and reciprocate your feelings.
But he never did, holding himself back from saying anymore in front of your house and simply kissing your forehead at the end of the night, and that was probably the only time you cried over the boy for that reason.
Beomgyu scratches his head and smiles sheepishly before slowly gesturing over to your wrapped gift for him. "A-Ah, well...Ryujin may or may not have mentioned something about you slaving away the past few weeks for your gift."
Your jaw slacks. "Are you serious?"
Before you could protest even more, however, Beomgyu's quick to raise his hands up in defense and interject, "Well, to be fair, I got the original idea of a simple scrapbook with everything I have way before Ryujin approached me! Then she mentioned sometime ago how hard you were working on my Christmas present that I had to up the stakes and ask for more pictures and stuff from everyone else after.
"And it wasn't that time consuming, actually! Everyone was happy to share photos and even some stories about you which I wrote in some of the entries because I thought it was sweet. Just...I want you to feel absolutely loved with this gift.
"And I mean, isn't it also nice seeing us from other people's point of view?" He points out next, flipping back to the pages mainly dedicated to photos of you and your mutual friends mixed in with photos they took of you. "It's also kind of a gift from everyone else in that sense."
You wipe another set of stray tears, making Beomgyu pout and reach a hand up to help you.
"Are you okay—?"
"I love it so much." You sniffle, smacking his arm before hugging the scrapbook to your chest. "Thank you, Gyu."
He heaves a sigh of relief, clutching his chest with his free hand. "There are still some blank pages towards the end. I figured you can put your own stuff in it if since I know you keep some things in the box under the bed." He suggests, patting the bed as if to gesture to the boxes you keep under it. "Or if you want, we can just fill it with new stuff later."
"Will you help me add in my own things?"
He nods with a bright smile. "We can do it before dinner with your parents." He then reaches towards the opposite end of the bed and picks up his gift, shaking it in front of him and asking next, "Should I open my gift in the meantime?"
"Yes, please. I can't be the only one crying right now." You nod with a chuckle, moving the scrapbook to your bedside table and helping him remove the tapes all over his gift.
"Before you make your usual complaint that it's too much, it's also actually part of my senior thesis for my Painting degree. Remember how I mentioned last time that I decided to make two separate theses for my programs? So, these are studies for one of my final paintings." You explain as the paintings come into view, Beomgyu's eyes widening and his jaw slacking in an instant.
"Woah..." He breathes, laying the canvases next to each other gently. “This is...this is amazing!"
"And there's one of the two of us. Look." You point at the last painting with a small smile. "The reference is from a photo Taehyun sent to our chat after the album launch."
"A-And...and where are the other portraits from?" He asks in a lower voice after a moment, eyes sparkling when he looks up at you again.
You gulp down any feelings of wanting to melt on the spot, pointing to each painting as you answer, "The first portrait's from a photo I took at your last gig, the second one's from last summer when we went to Haeundae beach, and the third one's from just the other day when you were letting me listen to your new music."
He points to the last one shyly, his cheeks flushed pink as the two of you look over at the painting of him listening to music on his headphones with a small smile on his face. "This was in my room?"
You nod, equally shy now that he's asking the questions upfront. "I-I just figured...you looked so warm and cozy then and that's always how I remember you so...yeah. That's also the one I'll be painting in the final work that's going in my thesis."
"Really?" His eyes widen even more, to which you simply nod once more before briefly looking away from him.
"Yeah, because my thesis is mostly on human relationships and, really, the rationale in all of these paintings is that I wanted to portray you as how you are in my eyes which is—"
Before you could even finish your thought, however, Beomgyu's oversized hoodie engulfs you and his lips land on your cheek. Then he gives you another peck, this time on a spot just slightly higher on the same cheek.
Then another, and another, before moving to another cheek. "You're amazing. I love you so much." He whispers against your skin dangerously close to your lips, almost as if he was telling you a very important secret.
And you know he means it differently than the other times he casually says it to you when he doesn't laugh excitedly between his words or jokingly force you to say it back as he would often do.
Instead, he punctuates the declaration by cupping your face gently and repeating the words again. "I love you so much. I love you the most." He sighs, meeting your gaze desperately.
And it's probably the years of knowing him that he doesn't have to elaborate on it further for you to catch on. At the same time, you feel a weight lift itself off of your shoulders at this, one that you haven't even realized you've been carrying along with you this whole time, hugging the boy back tighter with your arms on his waist in response.
“Can I?” He asks next, stroking your cheek with his thumb as his eyes momentarily flickers down to your lips.
You nod with a soft hum almost instantly, tilting your face as he closes the gap between your lips.
Beomgyu kisses you like it's the most natural thing in the world for him to do, his lips feeling comforting on top of yours as he conveys every built up feeling and all the kinds of love he’s had for you in the past 16 years and receives the same back from you.
And all negative thoughts you’ve had, worries that your best friend will never look at you the same way you’ve always hoped for him to, are immediately thrown off the window and replaced by the assurance that Choi Beomgyu, the nuisance who’s been affectionately stuck to your hip since day one, is in love with you.
"I love you." He repeats, voice muffled towards the end as he gives you another fleeting kiss before rubbing your noses together. "You know what I mean, right?"
"I love you too." You reply on your own accord, panting slightly as you fill your lungs in with air and biting your lip as you feel your face heat up after. "I outlined it out at the bottom of our painting too with my signature, in case you didn't spot it."
"Ya, I did." He chuckles sheepishly, briefly moving to sit away to put your paintings on the side of the bed. Before the space he previously occupied in front of you grows cold, his arms are back around you once more as he tackles you down on the bed. "I'll hang all of them in my dorm when we get back."
"You can't nail things to the walls then graduate. That's not how it works." You laugh with a shake of your head, encircling your arms on his neck as he props himself on his elbows on top of you. When he laughs along, something in your heart stirs happily at how the two of you could go from intimate to casual so smoothly, assuring you that nothing much is going to change—just now with more-than-friendly kisses and the assurance that your best friend feels the same about you. "Anyway, they're all small enough to go on your desk at the dorms and at the studio."
"Then I'll put them on my work desk at the studio. Everyone has to know I have a really talented partner."
"Partner?" You scoff teasingly against the sudden rapid beating of your heart, playfully pushing him away. "I'm your significant other now?"
"Didn't I make it clear enough with the kisses and the hug? Not even with the fact that I've been sticking by you my entire life?" He feigns a pout as he easily rolls the two of you over with you comfortably on top of him now. "Should we make out instead?"
Your face heats up more at the comment, eyes widening when he does press a longer kiss on your lips and even manages to open your mouth while you’re distracted. "That's also not how it works, Gyu!" You manage to successfully push him away and roll your eyes, hiding your face in his chest in embarrassment.
"Then will you be my significant other? I'll take care of you like I always have, just with more kisses! Maybe some other things too like just five seconds ago." He dramatically asks with a smirk, teasingly prying your hands away from your face. "What? You wanted me to ask!"
"What happened to having shit taste in people and dating each other being an insult, then?” You tease one last time, making him groan. "Or not liking anyone I like, hm? You’re kind of contradicting yourself here.”
"We’re contradicting ourselves. I think I know enough Math to know that negatives cancel each other out." He retorts before leaning down for another kiss and resting his head on your chest after.
"But you suck at Math.”
"Do you want help with the scrapbook or not?"
VI. (epilogue) MAYBE WE WORK A LITTLE TOO WELL
A big bouquet of red roses and sunflowers is dropped in your arms by Beomgyu for the second time in your life, purposeful this time as he follows it with a an extra daisy tucked in your ear and a kiss.
"Congratulations on the exhibit, baby!" He greets you giddily after with a grin and a soft pat on your head. "I’m so proud of you! You’ve worked so hard!”
"Ew, ew, ew, not in front of us, please." Hueningkai complains, hiding behind Yeonjun and Taehyun as you lead your friends around your thesis exhibit. “I’m a child!”
You roll your eyes, draping your free arm around Beomgyu's waist anyway as Ryujin and Yeji wander off to the portraits you made of your family while the boys approach your studies on your high school and college friends.
"I have another surprise, by the way!" Your boyfriend speaks up again, taking out his phone and placing an earphone on your left ear. "I may or may not have gotten the idea from that time you were finishing up your thesis in the studio."
"I'm fucking scared." You joke, adjusting the earphone anyway while he wears the right bud on his right ear. "What is this?"
From what you can remember of those all-nighters two weeks ago, you brought your remaining works in his studio to work with him in the same space. While Beomgyu was winding down from having just finished his own thesis and recording the demo for a new song, you were trying to work quietly in your own corner, alternating between singing TXT's old songs to yourself or mumbling about how you were going to present the written part of your thesis to Prof Kim.
You also remember making out on the studio sofa while you’re on break but you’re pretty sure (well, you’re hoping your boyfriend's not insane like that) that it’s not anything remotely related to that in particular.
Beomgyu then takes your hand, leading you to where Yeji and Ryujin are. "Let's start here. I followed your gallery's pamphlet but modified it a bit towards the end so we'll end up in the painting you made of us."
And when you do stop in front of the painting series, that of your family over the years, Beomgyu's pre-recorded voice rings through your ears.
"Hello and welcome to "Why We Work,” a senior thesis by artist and my beautiful, beautiful partner, Y/N Y/L/N." Beomgyu proudly announces in the recording, making you laugh out loud in an instant. Faint in the background, you can distinctly hear Maze in the Mirror's instrumentals playing. "Y/N, baby, are you tuning in? Congratulations on finally finishing your Painting thesis! I made you an audio guide!”
You smack the real Beomgyu on his arm as you try and regain your composure. "Ya, you brat! What is this?”
He only giggles in response, making a shushing gesture dramatically. "Shh, just continue listening in. I made it for the whole gallery."
You roll your eyes but tune in anyway, responding well to the commentary as you walk with Beomgyu and even discussing some of the works yourself live and more in-depth.
“This was really sweet of you.”
“It is sweet of me, you’re welcome.” He teases, earning him another smack on the arm.
taglist: @wccycc @4beomy
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cchallucination · 1 year
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Just a stupid ramble
I don't care what ANYONE says, Drew totally has some sort of cursh on Jake; Henry and Liam know abt it too. You might think: but he's dating Zoey, he can't be gay. (Well he was dating Zoey lmao, they broke up in the most recent episode)
BUT NO.
Being closeted is a thing. There's a chance that he's gay and just has some internalized homophobia, so he dates Zoey as a way to 'prove' he's straight. Also, throughout the series it is shown how shallow this relationship is, and just how little they seem to like each other. And Zoey is literally a gold digger and cheating on him sooo…… ALSO IN EPISODE 6, when Jake sees him in the mall and goes to hide from him, DREW LOOKS SO UNHAPPY, PROB CUZ JAKE "COULDNT" COME
Okay now that that's out of the way…. Even if he was gay, Jake is just his best friend, how would you think he has a crush on him?
PERFECT EXPLANATION FOR THIS.
In episode 5, in the starting scene in the cafeteria Drew gets annoyed when Jake isn't listening to him. He also acts Jealous over Jake thinking abt the music club, saying, AND I QUOTE "Y'know, I'm starting to wonder if you prefer their company over ours." You can't tell me that isn't showing blatant jealousy over it!!! Then Henry mentions that it makes Drew sound Jealous, and Drew BLUSHES tell's him to shut up, then AGAIN I QUOTE "I'm just saying, you used to care to listen to me." ME. He wasn't talking about him, Liam, and Henry when he said that, just HIMSELF!!! AND THE LOOK HE GIVES JAKE AFTER JUST…IDK IT SCREAMS JEALOUS BOYFRIEND ENERGY. Also then they start discussing how Jake is doing the competition to confess to Daisy, and when Liam is talking to Jake telling him to just confess normally, DREW LOOKED SO SAD. I MAY JUST BE DELUSIONAL BUT HE FR SEEMED SAD ABT IT. Then Jake has to leave cuz he's going to be late for music practice, and Henry (our fav character <333) says, once again I quote, "Don't look so blue, Drew. I know it must be sad to see your boy running off to the music freaks, instead of into your arms" and Drew blushes AGAIN. Alsooo its worth mentioning that Drew is rarely seen smiling. But every time he IS smiling (with maybe ONE exception), he is with Jake!!! ANOTHER THING I FIND THAT REALLY SUPPORTS THIS THEORY. Drew acts supportive towards Jake's crushes, but it seems like he only is when he feels like Jake won't get with them. Like with Daisy!! In episode 1, when Liam tells Jake he should just ask Daisy out already, Jake says he's "waiting for the right moment" (When someone says that u know damn well they ain't doing it) And Drew doesn't think he's actually going to do it, saying, and I quote, "You've been waiting for the 'right moment' for years" if this comment doesn't show you that he clearly doesn't see Jake taking a step to get with Daisy, then idk what else could. But Drew see's that Jake seem's to be taking an interest to Hailey, he doesn't act the same way. Well, at FIRST he does. Once again, I'm using episode 5 to support this lmao, when Jake is distracted during the game, Drew and Liam come up asking why he's making them lose blah blah, he looks over to where Hailey is and pretty much puts two and two together. He teases Jake in the moment, clearly thinking nothing will come of it. But when he sees they are spending more time together, he gets angry over it. Also when Jake says he doesn't like Hailey in this scene, his "Okay" comes off as so angry lmao. Also in episode 9 (the episode that genuinely makes me wanna kms /hj) When Jake is acting all blue, and finds out it's about Daisy, he seems SO annoyed over it. (Though, to be fair, it could be bc he justs wants to spend some time with his friend without him moping abt shit, but still.) When Drew says "Are you singing for Daisy, or for Hailey" He doesn't seem happy about either option fr. When Drew gets reminded of how Jake is singing for Daisy for Hailey specifically, two girls he thinks Jake likes, he has angry outbursts (once again, bro is so jealous) Drew doesn't even bother to mention Zander by name, his anger is clearly just about how close Hailey and Jake have gotten. And what about Daisy? Her and Jake barely ever speak, so Drew isn't nearly as bothered about that.
OKAY. That's all I feel like writing, but there is quite a few more examples throughout tmf that could support this theory!! Just a note, unless Drew has a redemption arc and becomes less judgemental and controlling; this relationship would be toxic, and I understand this. I don't want Drake to become canon (Well if drew has a redemption arc..then maybe I do…) and I don't believe it has any chance of becoming canon, though I really do think that there's a possibilty of Drew liking Jake. Which makes me rlly feel bad for the dude even if he is sort of an asshole :(
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belonareyna · 5 months
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I think Fandom just made into my head and make it cannon.
1. Because Kevin and Thea did not star TALKING until Kevin was 18. TALKING. NOT DATING. I still don't like that relationship because of the different ways they survive their trauma of being in a fucking cult (also they experience was ABSOLUTELY different, Kevin was Riko’s property, Thea was "Raven's" idk if you know what I mean)
2. Aaron, up until this day, I hadn't found ANY reference in the book to the thought. "He thought he was different to the foxes and that he didn’t belong with the "outsiders"??? He gets mad when they say he acts like Andrew (which I get), but he's not the one saying he's the "normal" twin.
3. Andrew on his meds is a dangerous person, abusive even. And Neil sees it. I know their reality is not our privileged reality, but still.
"That's not okay," Neil said, pointing at the door.
"That's nothing," Nicky said.
Neil caught his arm as Nicky passed and hauled him to a stop. "Don't let him get away with things like that."
Nicky considered him for a moment, his smile fading into something small and tired. "Oh, Neil. You're going to make this so hard on yourself. Look," he said, tugging free and turning Neil toward the door. "Andrew is a little bit crazy. Your lines are not his lines, so you can get all huff and puff when he tramps across yours, but you'll never make him understand what he did wrong. Moreover, you'll never make him care. So just stay out of his way."
"He's like this because you let him get away with it," Neil said. "You're putting all of us at risk."
"That was my fault." Nicky opened the door and waited for Neil to precede him out. "I said something I shouldn't have, and I got what I deserved."
And everyone I have read here justifies his actions. I understand his actions, and where they're coming from. But justifie them? Nope
4. Kevin is not a bitch for leaving Jean. Do you know when they rescue someone from human trafficking? How they can not get back for the rest of them, because then they would be put in danger again? The same goes for here. Getting back would literally make Riko not have one but two victims again. And it's unfair to Jean, but this is nothing but the Moriyamas fault.
5. Nicky makes absolutely horrible comments & disgusting "offers." But he's not just that. He's a 20 or 21 kid who flew from his save place to a country where he almost committed suicide to fight for two 14-year-old traumatized children, so they weren't given to his good for nothing parents. He protected them the best he could.
FROM NOW ON THOUGHTS AND MY OWN HEADCANNONS
6. Andrew is a 19 traumatized child who still wants his brother. Why the fuck he's always bringing Tilda? Because he wants a reaction from Aaron. Through the series, Neil says that Aaron is quite apathetic to everything. But Tilda's dead must still burn. Why mention it when there is no need if not to get a reaction? I don't believe he just brings it to hurt Aaron.
7. Dan had no right to be angry about Kevin omitting the truth about Wymack being his father. Kevin says he was trying to convince himself that by holding the secret, he was saving David (which actually is true. Her mother died in an accident orchestrated by the Moriyamas), it was not his only reason, but it was a good reasoning.
8. Matt & Aaron should have been endgame. (If you made it though here tell me about a weird aftg couple you ship)
Justification of all of this: is 2a.m. in the morning and I have fever
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youredreamingofroo · 8 months
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The Roo-seum...
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group pics and other stuff under the cut! (just to avoid flooding the dash lmao)
CAS pics in the NEXT POST
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Now onto me ranting.
The Roo-seum is a 16 sim project that's consumed me for the last couple of days (in a good way), this explores most of Roo's lifespan (not implying he's dead LMAO), from the age of 9 years old, up to now, 28 years old, talking about what he went through for each year (for the most part anyways), of course, I didn't start at 1 or 2 years old, mainly because, way back when I made all of these Roo's (roughly back in July '23, this is not an idea that suddenly sparked, I only acted on it because I have a way to show off each age that isn't a Picrew lmao... I can't draw well so I just used TS4), I made them in Picrew, which... at the time couldn't find a Picrew with kids/babies so the youngest I went was around 9 years old, and just built up from there.
Roo is my persona gone OC, around 5 or 6 years ago, I put on this persona of "Roo", which started as "The Unfortunate Roo" and Roo's (or Mine, since this was technically a Persona, doubling as an OC) design was COMPLETELY different back then, He wasn't a he, the design was a sucubus I think, I don't really recall and I really couldn't care for it, it's embarrassing 💀 I don't remember how he came to fruition, but I remember finding this one picrew that I LOVED, and I used that picrew to create ~Roo~, his initial design was akin to the 22-23 year old Roo, there's a lot about his design that I could talk about but will avoid doing so, but just know that his Sims design isn't super on the dot to what his actual design is supposed to look like.
So... what's Piametia?? Why did you come up with that?? How did you come up with that?? To be honest, I never actually came up with a name up until yesterday when writing the note for 10-12 year old Roo, I don't really remember what sparked me to come up with a condition that "has the Patient suffer a sudden loss or gain in pigmentation and melanin in the eyes and hair," I guess 17 year old me thought it was cool, and it is! It opened up a new story for him, where I couldn't provide story (for someone without Piametia), like how being affected by Piametia caused him to go from extremely accepting of himself, to getting bullied into "normalizing himself," While he achieved this, it was really in vain, because he was still bullied for his condition, but as he grew older, out of his teen years and into adulthood, it bothered him less and less, because, well, shit like that doesn't fucking matter, sure it still bothered him, sure it still traumatized him to some degree, but it's just what some stupid kids say, it doesn't determine what his worth is, and he understands that, so after recovering from almost ending his life, he realized that something had to change, he couldn't live in this wallowing ball of agony because some kids determined "hey! That kid is different! They're no longer as cool as we are! Get him!!"
I should also mention that he didn't develop Piametia til he was around 9 years old, which is exactly what the condition does, it's genetic (although it never occurred in Reese or Virginia, the only reasonable conclusion was that it skipped a generation) and it's drilled into the person's DNA and only takes effect before puberty (in the average kid). So Roo was considered a part of the other kids' little cliques and stuff, but only until his hair and eyes changed color.
I kind of hyped this up to be something extravagant and maybe it is, idk, I don't have the eyes of the audience, I'm just a guy who made this and I have a rather critical view of my work sometimes, I try not to, but force of habit lmao. I really liked making this because Roo is an OC who has grown with me, mainly because he's both a persona of me while also being an OC, so where I change and grow, he often reflects that change and growth, in his own ways of course, I often wish he was real, but he's not and that's the harsh reality. Also gonna clarify that his life does NOT completely reflect mine, I'm only 18, he's ten years older then me lmao, where he was 8 I was 10 years to be conceived- Roo is still his own character, he's had his own relationships, all of which have went poorly (reflecting my own), and even had his own stalker (which escalated)- But parts of his life like when he became extremely homophobic of himself and who he truly was is not reflective of myself, I never had that stage in life (whether you did or not however is not a bad thing unless your actually just homophobic, then gtfo like?? 😭).
I went on a rant there, and I probably could've kept going, but figured I should stop at some point lol, but I hope you guys like this, I sure LOVED making this and I love doing Roo related things and posts. I also provided text in the image descriptions in case it's hard to read in the images (I tried to keep it as clear and readable as possible), and in case anyone who uses a screen-reader finds this post :)
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hollyhomburg · 1 year
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(mafia hoseok, slice of life, fluff, stockholm syndrome, meta stuff, this is a little self-indulgent and very self-referential, a tiny bit smutty at moments but i wouldn't call this nsfw, blood, violence, guns)
i wanna write a story with mafia boss hoseok who adopts his sisters children after they die cuz of mafia reasons along with his fiance. hoseok of course, decimates the rival group who took them away from him, but after the fire and revenge has settled, there is just hoseok, just hoseok and two kids who need him.
it's not that bad, the little boy one is mainly taken care of by his men. hoseok does his best to keep them safe and separated from his criminal empire. gives them everything they could want, trusts only his inner circle of 6 to look after them.
the older one- a plucky 13 year old girl is a little bit more of a handful mostly because she asks too many questions about things hoseok cannot answer without being culpable "why do you have blood on your shoes? what kind of handgun do you carry and can i see it? why do you always talk really softly at home but yell loudly when you're in the basement?"
hoseok- knowing that the basement is a literal torture chamber, sweating, "don't you just want money for shopping or something?"
"no, i wanna become your partner, the way that mom was"
"you are literally 13"
"didn't you start when you where my age?"
"can't i just? get you a new handbag or something?" idk i just love the idea of hoseok- whose tired of his job and pissed off by it on a good day vs. a 13 year old who just wants to be a crime princess so bad.
They but heads near constantly, when she's caught sneaking out from her all girls school to smoke cigarettes, when she buys a moped with the card hoseok got her, when she tries to leave the country to go to fashion week like her mom used too (of course hoseok goes with her- but still- she's not very good at asking for permission vs forgiveness)
Obviously he's like- barely adjusting to being a parent, and grieving the loss of fiance and sister too. he's lonely and struggling with the things in his life that aren't the crime bits, he's not against admitting that, but allowing anyone, woman or man, into his life barely 5 years after they've passed feels like a betrayal.
it goes like that, slice of life, mafia man hoseok and dad hoseok chased togeather. he tries his best to show up for dance recitals (the young beta boy really really likes balet and god forbid hoseok stop anything, even convention, from getting in the way of his pups dreams,) regularly scolds the alpha girl for trying to bring her boyfriends around, "you're too young to have boyfriends" "they're just my friends boyfriends" "still, wait until you're 16- or better yet- 18"
There just isn't a shortage of problems concerning the kids, it's one thing after another. Until one night in his study, hoseok's ledgers spread out in front of him while he reclines on a tufted sette, one of his men comes to the door, an ipad in his hands and a guilty look on his face. Hoseok snaps his fingers without looking up. "we- ugh- caught her reading fanfiction again, not the appropriate sort boss."
Hoseok groans because holy fuck he was no prepared to deal with a teenage girl in his mid 30's. let alone puberty again. But then again, he's a little curious, reads a few lines of the fanfic....
Only to find out it's an exact copy of his and his ex's life, down to the things that they've said on their first date. Their first time, even her untimely death down to her last words, words that he hasn't told anyone ever. Hoseok doesn't sleep as he reads through it. The only thing that's different is their names. here, here are memories even hoseok has forgotten. It's impossible, how could someone know all this?
oh, someone knows, and he's going to tear them apart.
Of course he finds the author. using the resources of his criminal empire to track them down. he has his men abduct her. the perfect crime, executed down to the moment she's snatched. he knows the autorities will never find her or even a hint of his orginization. he brings her down into that torture room and decides....not to kill her after talking to her.
hoseok is like something out of a romance novel, the kind of one she publishes irl and not the kind that she writes and posts on the internet. intimidating and beautiful with his crossed legs, red hair, strong jaw and piercing eyes. Of course, she only publishes things as fanfiction when she feels she needs too. other stories that she feels are more polished and less an extension of her own emotions, get the published book treatment. She's already absorbing details of this, the bite of the ropes against her wrists, the damp feeling of a cloth pressed over her mouth, it's a little bit fucked up but she's only thinking "this is gonna make for some good fanfic" and not about her safety.
hoseok has only met two types of peopke, the ones that are smart and scared of him, and the ones that are stupid and unafraid.
so what if she's got a bit of a deathwish, hoseok is a little impressed, having made grown men cry and piss themselves in that very chair, she's not afraid of him whatsoever. that alone, is what keeps him from killing her. maybe it reminds him a little bit of his exfiance, the way she looks at him without fear, like he's not the boss or dad, he's just hobi.
"So you mean i'm going to stay with you, your prisoner, until you figure out how i know what i know?"
"Yes that's the jist of it. Until you confess."
"there's nothing to confess, i just- thought of it on my own, i don't know what to tell you." hoseok looks for any connection, any of the fanfic authors family, if they were connected to his fiance in any way, but truly- there is nothing in her past that connects her to him, she wasn't even living in his city before now.
it's simply a trick perhaps, or just a coincidence. Hoseok doesn't believe in coincidences.
Only, Hoseok isn't cruel enough to keep her downstairs after the first few days when his interrogations turn more...conversations. Maybe he pours over the fanfic's and asks her about specific lines the one, "nothing's broken you yet, so you have no reason to belive this will too" thats been his personal mantra for year. how could she know things that he's never told anyone is beyond him.
The house has plenty of rooms and hoseok has plenty of men to keep an eye on her, he probably puts a tracking anklet on her just incase. and of course he finds her writing on bits of paper because he won't give her a laptop.
and then Hoseok's nice gets her fingers in everything. fucking shit up as she has a talent of doing. maybe hoseok intends it to be casual "this is my friend, she's going to be staying here for the time being, be nice to her and stay out of her hair" why does hoseok feel the need to suggest the kids be nice to her? she's literally a prisoner.
but of course, hoseok's nice looks at her, turns to hoseok and says "🥺 you got me my favorite fanfic author for my birthday uncle hobi?" immediatlly- the jig is up, they talk, the mc is really kinda nice to the kid because she's not an asshole.
Of course hoseok begs her to go along with it because...he really doesn't want his nice to know that everything she read actually happened, and he's got a sweet spot a mile wide for her underneath their bickering. of course also doesn't want to let her know that he did infact almost kidnap and torture this woman. and she agrees to befriend her...in exchange for a laptop.
Things go like that for a while, and for a month, he gets used to someone being there when he wakes up, he gets used to hearing laughter when he walks in, maybe she starts to get close to the kids a little bit- the nice especially, maybe one time hoseok gets a panicked text from the mc, "Minji's boyfriend broke up with her. sos bring ice cream."
The four of them of course leave the compound, go shopping, which then turns into going to the pet store, getting a dog (that his right hand man jungkook eventually takes in because none of them are prepared to actually take care of a dog). The works, maybe they go to one of those destruction rooms and smash some stuff, or go paintballing, the m/c hitting hobi in the chest and grinning "got you." it turns out mafia bosses are generally good shots, but mafia princesses are also really good too." And on the way home, the kids tired and asleep in the back, the m/c also nearing sleep in the passengers side, hoseok looks over at her and realizes that being the kids parents, being here for minji and hanyu has gotten alot easier since she's been around.
It's not that she does any of the child rearing at all, but- adult company is nice. Hoseok's not sure he can call her a friend. when he pulls in home he looks over, and finds that she's staring back at him.
"Are you really like the man i wrote into that story."
"Yes." he admits, they haven't talked about why he's here, in a while. she looks contemplatively at him for a second, then yawns. looking back and minji and hanyu in the backseat, "i'll get him if you get her right?" and they do, they bring the both of them inside and hoseok stays awake all night with a lump in his throat.
life continues like that, blood and domestic bliss in equal measure. a few times has he come home in the middle of the day to her writing in the main recreation room with Hanyu playing with his leggos around her, "i like her, she lets me be quiet without asking me to talk lots" or spinning with him to loud loud music. hanyu really only likes balet for the spinning and twirling.
of course hoseok is curious what she's writing after a while. and is more than a little curious why she doesn't try and leave. she still has to wear the ankle monitor, but hoseok would take it off if she asked.
"honestly i'm getting so much good material from this experience and you have good taste in decor and food gets made for me every morning by seokjin- and he's a fantastic cook and an even better beta reader." Seokjin is also a really good shot, and was in the black berets before i hired him is definitely not what hoseok says. "Why wouldn't i want to stay, i don't have to worry about anything here."
"accept for your bodily autonomy????" she waves her hand flippantly, "yeah, that never mattered to me so much as long as i can write. of course he gets curious of what she's writing, hoping to find more hints of how she can know what she knows. she finds bits and peices of his men in them and writes them off as just fanfic fodder. tells minji not to bother her too much.
he doesn't really like her next project about a heist with 3 lovers who get through it after years of sexual tension only to finally confess after one member gets shot- only, why are they like jimin? tae? and jungkook all close over taehyung's hospital bed. she's gotten close to all of them, but not closer than hoseok is to them and even he didn't realize they were all in love. how have some of his longest gang members, and appart of his inner circle who have been adversaries for the better part of the last 5 years finally getting over their enemies to lovers stick? how did he not notice?
he chalks it up to a coincidence until the next time it happens, because Namjoon and yoongi have been at each other's throats for years. Who would have thought an isolated job in the mountains that lead to them being snowed in with only one bed would...lead to their eventual coupling.
after that, hoseok starts to pay attention to what she writes. he's just in the middle of a deal gone bad when he remembers what she's written the year before, something about a car bomb- he avoids getting into the car until it explodes (a la bily) and comes home a little singed and scarred.
she's in the living room, the kids are asleep upstairs, and when she stands up, hoseok feels that feeling again in his heart, that peircing ache, the same one he gets when he thinks of his dead fiance.
i'm imagining him kneeling before her, taking off her anklet, fingers lingering over her skin a little too long. looking up at her, hoseok has not knealed for many people.
"you're free to go, but before i do, i'd like to offer you a job." it's hard to describe her value to hoseok, even harder to explain it to people who don't understand, she writes, and hoseok reads them, and about 70% of the time, the events she puts down on paper actually happen. he tries to ignore the other little things that don't, she's....a really good writer. and she knows by now that anything she writes he'll tare through. even the more...smutty sections that she tries to hide. he ignores the way that tales of submission make his blood burn, the way she describes touches and hands, hoseok tries to find pleasure in his own but it remains frightfully our of reach (and maybe 3 doors down).
maybe hoseok takes her to one of his functions, the ones that he usually hates with politicians and celebrities, because he wants to treat her, wanting to give things to people isn't a feeling he's felt in a while, i imagine them dancing underneath the stars, him asking her "if you were writing this right now what would happen." "if i were writing this, you'd have already kissed me."
maybe, someone gets wind of it, maybe theres a mole in hoseoks organization that tells tales of hoseok's secret weapon. his weakness. hoseok is not prepared there is nothing in her writing that says where she is or what happens only....that last one, it's tangentially mentioned, maybe minji is the one that finds it, hoseok explains it to her the situation, why the m/c is here and what lead her to their lives, maybe he's loosing it a little and she's the levelheaded one, hanyu is in the doorway crying, maybe when they came to take her she sacrificed herself for him, told him to hide and he did. that alone, that lone would make hoseok go after her, not the living breathing terrified thing in his chest- because this- this is almost exaclty like what happned with his fiance.
minji is 14 now, 14 and smart, smarter than hoseok, "she wrote something- i know she did- here- it was in an ask- here" hoseok scans it, and the gang mobilizes it. maybe hoseok's gang asks him why, why he's willing to go to these lenghts to save her, "it's not about securing a method of income, this has never been about money."
when he finds her, she's tied up, much the same way that he was tied up, and hoseok is soaked with blood, from his red hair down his back, she always did get unnervingly graphic with her murder scenes and it feels the same way that she wrote it, white hot rage that drips down his back in time with the cooling blood. he wonders if the bruises on her face feel the same for her. he unties her and then cups her cheeks, looking down at her while she grabs his wrists. "you came for me." is all she manages to choke out, "i wasn't sure you would."
he kisses the side of his face, "of course i'd never let you go, do you feel and see the blood i'd shed for you? is this enough?" hoseok is a little fucked up, and she knows this, she knows that deep down, beneath the softness that the people he loves cultivates in him, he does not mind the killing. he'd kill again for her in a heartbeat. he's going to kill again for her and he needs to know that if she stays.
hoseok is not convinced that she should.
he takes her home, washes her off. blood dripping down the drain and the two of them pressing hurried kisses against each others mouths, even if they taste like blood a little bit, they want each other too bad, all of this built up just breaking between the two of them. hoseok spends too long listening to her heartbeat. too long but she just washes his hair while he does, a tender geasture. he's not sure that his ex ever washed his hair.
the kids are glad to see her, a little bit scared to find hoseok more hollow than he was when he left. because he knows the last time something like this happened he was too late. and there are more than a few indications that he almost was too late, in the bruises that ring her body, her own blood that he wipes from his hands.
the next day, hoseok meets with minji, hands her her first gun, "you're to report to me, you don't make tough decisions, you let me make them for you, if you have questions or need help, ask. you don't make stupid decisions, and you don't tell anyone about anything you know." She scoffs, "thats a given."
later he ends up wrapped up with the main character, touching her again and again, verifying that she's alright that she's here, and she's just scribbling away at a piece of paper while he drags his lips up and down her arm. "is this still about getting inspiration for you?"
"maybe, but you're the best inspiration i've ever come across."
yeah i wanna write this, but i probably never will~
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