#idk guys i get scared sometimes yknow
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whew big sigh of relief. even though i did nothing but outline for like almost a week, i still know how to write fanfiction!
#idk guys i get scared sometimes yknow#like what if i can write sentences but they're only Bad yknow#anyway. luckily not today! yay#hidey talks fic#beiran ep15 coda fic#<- hoping that future!me will be like 'wow what a cool fic i am so proud. surely the process was smooth and easy. oh wait'#gonna post a snippet of what i wrote tonight tomorrow for wip wed hehehehehehe get readyyyyyyyyyyyyyy i think its yummy ;3
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turns out how not to be deficient in fat in your diet is to stop eating only low fat versions of foods
#i was scared of being hungry unfortunately and didnt want to change my diet to more calorie dense stuff out of fear of like hunger related#mood swings which i get badly now which i didnt used to which is awesome i totally love feeling like a half starved half mad dog if my lunc#is like half an hour late#i will not eat like regular ice cream but y'know. cheeses. yogurt thats abt it i eat the same 9 ingredients in rotation#apples cauliflower cottage cheese cabbage sardines carrots broccoli tomatoes uhhhh monster energy drinks#i mean other stuff too sometimes but those r the staples#if i could go raw vegan without dying i probably would just bcs its easier#that list is kind of pathetic and depressing but idk man what's a guy to do#i do worry about it not being varied enough and missing micronutrients and stuff but like yknow ive always been a very unadventurous eater#eating the same things day in day out years on end and ive always been like fine lol it's just a less heavy carb selection these days which#like im pretty sure all that you need xyz amount of grains a day is a total psyop by the corn and wheat us subsidies i don't think you need#that shit just like how you dont need milk.
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im extremely literal and i don't want to take anything away from the people who find it helpful, but. "do it scared" to me always has the same vibes as that shia labeouf "JUST DO IT" meme.
which is to say, im always like, IT ? DEPENDS ON WHAT "IT" IS??
#sometimes we are scared of doing things because they are bad ideas to do :sob:#i mean obviously things like idk 'commit perjury' 'i'm scared i'll get caught' 'do it scared' lol. but yknow uhhhh#what's that one bit in series of unfortunate events with the submarine dude#where the baudelaire children see the guy's motto and have to consciously inject nuance into it#ok found it. the motto is 'he or she who hesitates is lost'#the quote is:#Perhaps; the Baudelaires thought; the wisest personal philosophy would be#'Sometimes he or she should hesitate and sometimes he or she should not hesitate'#but this seemed far too long and vague to be much use on a plaque.
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Male reader with absolutely Fucking Huge Tits.
(headcanons!)
People shown: Soap, Gaz, Ghost, Price, Keegan, König, Horangi, Graves, Alejandro, Rudy
I felt silly I was high and it's funny jwjsjsnsw ew endnsndndnd.
Didn't think my first post would get that much attention but.. Anyways.. Yay?
You have fucking big moobs.. Huge male tits.. Fucking succulent ass Cherries
You are a guy. And lucky for you, You have the most plump, ungodly monumental tremendous tits ever. Ofcourse you had the build to support your huge tits.. But your tits were the most eye catching.
When you first joined 141 or Kortac or whateevveer....Man holy shit they went fuckin wild. Like they weren't even trying to hide that they were blatantly looking at your capacious boobs.
Soap
- he was the first to yell like some Scottish words for Holy shit when you landed out from the Heli showing off your stupendous balloons
- he would be the first to be staring with no shame
-he would also be the first to ask if he could squeeze them.
-he would ask you how the hell you got your mighty melons. And he would ask you if it's possible for you to lactate.
- idk he'd bark..
- if you were to sex. He would lick, slurp your hoo Haas
-Would see if he can make you lactate
-makes you wear a bra. Freaky
- continues to play with your dongdongs after your very amazing activity gently
Gaz
- His eyes went wide.. Probably did the shocked guy face with hands on his head when he saw you
- face red no eye contact trying to not look at your mammoth sized Quadruple D breasts
- secretly staring but it's so obvious he's staring especially when your running laps.. Yknow yknow boobie flaps go up and down Fr fr
- one day when you guys were alone together he probably went down on his knees.. Begging to let him touch and squeeze your boobies.
-If you were to do the devils tango.. Also bite marks.. And licks.. More gently but desperately.
Ghost
- eyes wide under mask. Is confused how a dude could get those unwieldy lofty ass TITTS.
- also secretly staring. Less to zero obviousness.
- wants to ask as well to touch your bazongas but he's to scared.
- you caught him staring once and he immediately looks away. So like the amazing man you are you asked him if he wants to hold your tatas.
-he nodded obviously.
-you doing the nasty? He's rough. No mercy to idk your whole body. Especially your gazongals.
-boob fucking.
-bruises hickeys bites everywhere. Mostly on your GadonkGadonks.
- he would bury his head on the middle of your Tits... It's like a pillow.
Price
- Suprised and impressed. Idk why he's still shocked everytime he sees you walking around
- looking sometimes. But more respectful
-you need too ask him first if he wants to hold your beach balls.
- if you do wrestling in bed. Loving duhh. Lovingly and softly suckling your Rounder Pounders.
- also buries his head on your moob boobs
- Would probably just call you in his office sometimes just so he can use your Boobs as a pillow.
-His beard tickles.. Hmm.
Keegan
- Awooga
-Pointing at it then looks back at someone then looking back at you then looking back at someone.. Then back and forth
-Takes pictures
- you were standing in front of him talking then he just suddenly.. Grabbed your Bazonkers.
-Takes more pictures. Has its own folder just for your mountainous front moons.
- Roleplay sex that involves fucking your boobs Intensity varies
König
- Blushing under mask
-is also a proud owner of plump tits. But he's afraid of yours.
-Also YOU need to be the one to ask as well if he wants a squeeze.
- compare boob sizes.
- rough but gentle RAAAAA. Would ask before doing anything to you doingloings
-Rubs your tats together
- ask before taking pictures.. Shows it to Horangi
- Sometimes he would just stare blankly at you before he just.. Squeezes your knockers..
-He immediately gets red and apologizes red faced from shame and embarrassment.
-When you told him you don't mind and it's okay.. He gets relaxed.
-Now he would just pull you into closets just so he could ask you to caress your man tiddies even though he doesn't need to.
-You caress his too. It's like a ritual.
Horangi
- starts laughing in shock and interest and is also impressed
- Also Staring no shame. But it's less obvious because of his shades
-Asks if your tits are implants..
- Would ask König for pics of your Cupcakes.
- Constant slapping of your boobers.
- jokes about your Honkers..
-Loves Your Honkers but also jealous. He wants big buggers as well :((
- Starts drawing on them. Non permanent colorful markers
-would dress it up as well. Putting glasses.. His sunglasses a mustache..
-would purposely smudge food on your Clonkers and He would say some shit like
'Sorry let me clean that up' and starts licking fr
Graves
- Soldier what the fuck he would say or something.
- Don't get distracted.. Gets distracted.
-Makes you purposefully fight/ train/ spar with him.. Make him discreetly hit or touch your award winning rounders
-If you confront him about it. He will probably say a half assed sorry. Look at you like some pissy bitch for forgiveness.
-Forgiveness being you let him do the bed rolling sweat inducing activity with you.
- Please PLEAASE let him picture it during your seeexx
- Shows it off. Of course he will. Who?
His shadows duh
-compliments your hooters frequently
Also makes jokes with his shadows
-Got sad once and dragged you away from whatever you were doing. And just used you as a pillow and cried.
- If most or all His Shadows are stressed or frustrated from a mission they all gettin in a single file line. And they get to caress touch YOUR FUCKING GARGANTUAN GAZOONKAS one minute each.
-Graves is last because.. He's doing more than just caressing your boobs...
Alejandro
- any Spanish nicknames to refer to your boobs that you don't know of
- Flirting.
- Conspicuous staring..Starts ranting to Rudy about how much he wants to hold your teacups. He's passionate about it to.
- Manages to get the balls with the help of Rudy.. To ask to hold your chest footballs.
- is gentle at first before he looses it and starts squeezing it and roughly touching. Until you made a very audible noise of hurt or discomfort
-Apologizes.. Buys you literally everything just so you can forgive him. On his knees saying sorry in Spanish.
- Praises your body
Rudy
- Just as thirsty as Alejandro. Just more shy and respectful.
- When Alejandro starts confessing to him how much he wants to touch your chests.. He reciprocated and also tell Ale how much he likes your Moobies.
- Sharing. Both sharing. Alejandro touching your left Rudy on the right.
- If Rudy is touching you. If you even shift on what he thinks is a sign of uncomfortability.. Will say sorry.. For weeks.. Even months.
- Will never forget it. Even though you probably did and assured him that it wasn't a sign of anything. Avoided you for a few days out shame.
-Also apologizes for avoiding you.
- Also Praises your body.
#simon ghost riley x male reader#captain john price x male reader#john soap mactavish x male reader#gaz x male reader#cod horangi x male reader#keegan x male reader#graves x male reader#alejandro vargas x male reader#rudy x male reader#call of duty x male reader#gay#gay men#call of duty modern warfare x male reader#cod mw2 x male reader#cod x reader#cod mw2#bigtiddymalereader
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Bunny baby ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ♡
Ellie x reader w ptsd
𓂋
ʚ♡ɞ
I was inspired by @elliezlils11utt fic of Ellie x hypersexual reader and it reminded me I’ve always wanted to write some Ellie hcs that can help my ptsd :)
This is specifically with Jackson!ellie bc she’s my favorite :3
C/w: ptsd obviously. A bit of smut. Mostly fluff tho :3. Flashbacks. Intrusive memories. Triggers. MDNI 😒
W/c: ≈ 800
~
- It depends on how you guys met + how your relationship started,, but you’d definitely be super shy ab your trauma & ptsd and would avoid telling her as long as you can.
- When you finally tell her she’d be soooo sweet☹️. She’d sit you guys down on the couch and sit across from you criss cross applesauce style
- You wipe your tears away and laugh a little at how cute she is. Like why’d she have to go and sit like that ?!!
- You don’t feel nervous with her per se,,, but you feel kinda weird uncanny and naked (in a gross way) talking ab this, so most of the time when ur ranting you’ll focus on her eyebrow scar.
- You talk for as long as you want to and Ellie listens and nods and holds ur hand if u start crying ☹️☹️
- Surprisingly she doesn’t say anything like “whoever did this to you is gonna fuckin’ pay ‘mkay??” Because yknow….. she’s Ellie. She doesn’t want to rile you or herself up and make you uncomfortable >•<
- When you’re done explaining she’s gonna hug you and ask to kiss you. She’ll reassure you and say “Thank you for telling me baby. Now that I know I can try to help you in any way I can,, and I’ll stick by your side no matter what.” She giggles as she pulls you in closer :))))
- She’ll try to understand your triggers but sometimes it’s really hard for her to. “Fuck I’m so sorry princess.. was it what I said or like.. the way I said it?”
- The truth is she LOVESSS cuddling and if you’re ever upset she knows it’ll for sure calm you down.
- Even if ur trauma isn’t related to sex she’d still be careful and sweet with you. Like,,, you’d have to BEG her to degrade you.
- “Els please… I know what im asking for I literally think it’s so hot when you do it🙁”
- “Angel idk if it’s really a good idea bc you had all those intrusive memories today..”
- “Ellie if you don’t degrade me I literally don’t think I will cum.”
- And then she perks up and yelps “ON IT!” 😭😭😭
- During the middle of it she���d literally stop and ruin it😭 “Yeah? You fuckin’ like these fingers huh babe? God such a fuckin’ slut for me..” she whispers in your ear”… heyyy is this like… still okay or? I dunno just seemed weird.” As you were like MOANING AND WHIMPERING
- You playfully smack her face “YES ELLIE please just- you don’t have to hold back!”
- Aftercare would be hugeeee for the both of you. Just in general Ellie really needs it but especially for you.
- “Jus’ don’t wanna hurt my princess after I’m done fucking your cute pussy” she looks down at you and you squeal for her to stop and cover your face with your hands.
- She laughs and rubs your back and starts talking casually about what her plans are for tomorrow.
- Sometimes you feel guilty that you’re taking up most of the attention in the relationship bc of your ptsd but she immediately interrupts your rambling and reassures you ♡
- If you have nightmares she’d wake you up and cuddle + distract you until you were tired enough to fall asleep again.
- Maybe if you were in the mood she’d distract you by eating you out 🤭
- If you ever felt uncomfortable or had a panic attack or flashback in public she’d take you home immediately even if it was inconvenient.
- “No babe.. what the fuck no.. it was not your fault okay. Getting scared is never your fault.” She tilts your chin up (,,•o•,,) “Let’s just try to calm down, yeah? That’s my girl.”
- Ellie hears ab service animals for ptsd and since Jackson really only has horses she managed to find you a BUNNY
- “Ellie how the fuck WHERE THE FUCK DID YOU FIND THIS BUNNY?!!,??.!.”
- “Don’t be scared babbbbbeeee I just got it somewhere okay?” She smiles all mischievous and lifts the brown bunny up. Its nose twitches.
- “Who’d you have to trade? WHAT did you trade actually??” Your eyes grow wide.
- “Jus’ got it from Tommy baby,,, no big deal.” She sits down on her knees to put it in the cage she got. “Found this cage jus’ lyin’ there. Asked around and nobody needed it.”
- After a few hours of playing with your new bunny you kiss her cheek in bed and whisper “Really, Els. Where’d the damn bunny come from.”
- “Really I already told you! Got it from Tommy… I was uh.. askin’ about like what he thought would be good for ptsd and he told me about a time where people would have dogs and other animals trained to help people. I dunno I thought it was cool.” She smiles sheepishly.
- You think that is the sweetest thing EVER because you thought she just finally wanted a pet for the two of you (❀❛ ֊ ❛„)♡
~
I’m actually gonna melt why do ppl never write sweet Ellie 😞💘
#ellie williams#ellie tlou#ellie the last of us#ellie x reader#ellie x fem reader#ellie williams fluff#fluff#tlou2#ellie smut#ellie williams smut#ptsd#wlw#for the girls
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i have a genuine question. i promise i am not at all trying to defend him. ive dropped him entirely, literally deleted everything i had of him and unliked his songs.
ive just been wondering like considering that he has been in therapy, and also considering how if he does take a year off and then comes back, why cant it be redeemable? like cant people change? cant we give them second chances? he is 27. is he just doomed to be an abuser forever?
its just scary and im asking as like a younger person who is in my very early 20s. i know ive made mistakes. i know ive not been a good partner or friend sometimes. (and yes i was also abusive to a past partner...im not proud of it and ive learned from it. i have never ever touched anyone in that way after that. it took awhile but my current relationship isnt toxic and i would never hurt anyone or hit them again yknow?) and it scares me that people keep insinuating that he is irredeemable. like cant abusers change and become better? dont they get second chances? if shelby has grown and healed in 10 months wouldn't it be fair to say the same for wilbur?
im just genuinely asking because based on everything i believe you are older than me and im looking for guidance and just...idk im scared. growing up on the internet has made me so scared of making mistakes and doing anything wrong because when it happens to others i look up to, its always treated as something they'll never be able to change or improve. makes me feel like imma just be a horrible person forever because i made mistakes in the past.
This is a really complicated question that multiple answers can validly fit.
I don't think, personally, that anyone is irredeemable. I think everyone is on a journey of forgiveness and some of us may need more grace than others.
This is tw// abuse even more than the current topic, but my mom was incredibly abusive. We lived in a very rural area and she had a lot of undiagnosed problems and trauma of her own that created a pressure pot of issues. After I was born, she suffered through full on post-partum psychosis that nearly ended about as well as that sentence implies it could have. She was incredibly violent, controlling, and cruel for years. My sister went no-contact with her the second she turned 18. A significant event occurred that eventually spurned her into seeking real treatment that lasted for years. It's still ongoing.
My sister is also still no contact and I support her decision 100%. Those are her wounds and what she needed to do to get peace should be respected. I decided I wanted a relationship with the person who came out of all that work and, even then, it's been hard. I don't know if she's redeemed herself, and my god do we still have bumps in the road, but I support her for trying.
With Wilbur, how he responds to this is going to really impact a lot of things. I mean, I know no matter how he responds I won't be going on whatever journey of redemption and healing he has to go through. I'm tired and I feel hurt enough. I would think, if he wanted to show he was sincere, admitting what happened would be a great sense of closure for a lot of people who put time and energy and faith into this guy for years.
Not every person that causes harm is inherently evil, but there has to be some kind of knowledge that you're aware of the harm you've caused. No one is stuck as anything forever, life is constantly moving, and most people aren't saying his life is just over. You can work on yourself. You can change. And I'm saying that specifically to you, anonymous.
(Saying this, actually, there ARE people who would argue once you've done x you're beyond redemption based entirely on their life experiences as a victim, personal histories and many other factors. Kinda like my sister, that's their choice. And you have to accept that sometimes you fuck up so badly that you will permanently lose some people from your life. But your life isn't over.)
But I do think, regardless of what he says or does about this, his time of controlling a large platform is at an end. He can still do a lot of things in his life after he works on himself -- editing, song producing, directing, writing or whatever -- but being in charge of a large impressionable audience that could enable more destructive behaviors is just not it.
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yap about ur headcanons about the socs pls!!
heheeh okay some misc things about the soc guys that have popped into my head throughout the week (im sorry this is so long)
EDIT: ok ive put it all under the cut bc it got so long but i do yap a little bit about each soc guy so please read hehe :)
Chet
chet and his family moved from california when he was in 3rd grade. his first friend in town was one sodapop curtis on his little league baseball team
his dad is a cop and wants to advance up the ranks, and his mom wants to make sure they keep up their good social standing, so chet was not friends with soda for long
you know those boys in like 5th grade that crack all the dumb jokes, hit all the door frames, and tease every girl "because he likes her"? thats chet and trip
this is inspired by @/sky4cherry iirc but chet does Nawt get attention at home man. his dad is always busy with work and a little mean (yknow how dads are in the 60s) and his mom is always working on the next social function or trying to appease his dad. anyways he is just always at another soc guy's house just to have someone Talk to him
i think he picks up drinking and smoking, and fighting, for a similar reason to bob: he just wants his parents to fucking notice he's doing something wrong. but theyre high enough now in the social and job spaces that they can just wipe any misdemeanors under the rug
i cant decide if chet is an only child, or if he has like 2 siblings that are way older than him. idk
Trip
terrance dipp is The Exasperated older brother ever. bro did Nawt want a little brother sorry melvin.
anyways unfortunately i do think trip is very much a guy's guy. that boy is Not a good boyfriend to marcia unfortunately :(((((( at least by the time we get to their sophomore year/the show
him and chet can not be sat together in class. they will never shut up or stop hitting each other.
chet broke his arm one time in like 6th grade. trip threatens to break it again at least once a month
ive said this before but ill say it again: trip and melvin are just soc steve and ponyboy. trip is so tired of his kid brother being in all his sports and trying to tag along to everything
that being said, he was looking out for melvin so much during the rumble. he knew their mom would kill him if he brought his brother home all beat up, but also he really really didn't want him to get too hurt.
he Always goes to marcia to patch him up after hes been in a fight. (after the rumble though, him and marcia are on the rocks, and hes got melvin to worry about. so he just sneaks melvin home and tries to clean him up before their mom sees. its actually a sweet bonding moment between them i think)
trip lovesssss verbally poking fun at any greaser in school, especially two-bit. after he realizes two-bit likes marcia, his mean jokes become a lot more threatening
(i do love trip i promise i just also think hes kinda a mean guy. you know the kind of rowdy douche bags in high school im talking about. im so sorry ksco and sean jones i promise i love trip kdjfkdjf)
Brill
clark brillstein i'll be so incredibly honest i dont have much in my brain for him :((( i gotta sit and think more
i do think he has one of the better home lives out of the bunch, and hes got his lovely perfect girlfriend, and hes good at sports, and honestly i think he just. gets tired of everyone thinking hes got it so perfect all of the time. i think maybe thats why he likes all the fighting so much
while he is relatively happy with his life rn, hes tired of being doted on like hes perfect. and also sometimes he sees everyone else's lives being so shitty, he feels likes hes got to pick fights to justify him feeling bad about his lot.
Paul
ohhh im gonna have to hold myself back from talking about him forever. he will get his own post at some point aDKFJDKFJK
anyways. paul holden. the messiest and most scared gay kid in the town of tulsa
i think he and bob literally grew up together. like their parents are Old old friends, so paul and bob have always basically been brothers despite a 2/3 ish year age difference (i dont feel like doing the exact math). i think bev's parents are also in this old friend group, so pauls known her forever too
anyways. he was probably the bob of his friend group in his class, which is why nobody really really protested darry being in their group. but i also think that when he was with darry, paul didnt really care about the whole social friend group of things too much.
contrary to popular belief i dont think paul is the friend-group-leader type. idk if that makes sense and i can yap about it more but.
anyways post-darry breakup paul is a fucking mess. hes sad and angry and those fights that darry was always trying to stop feel so damn good. maybe bob and his buddies are on to something, and bob's dad always has a full liquor cabinet
Bob
obviously we know the most about bob and his home life and inner psyche and reasons for fighting and honestly all of it really resonates in my brain. like yea im keeping all of that
bro has charisma to the max. like he has always been the ringleader of the friend group, even in like 4th grade when all the boys started becoming best buddies
he used to be such a mommas boy. before her praise just became so meaningless.
oh ive just had a revelation. he is an angrier and more resigned buddy aldridge from rotpl. his dad is pulling the strings to make sure his precious son is climbing all the right ladders.
the difference here tho is bob realized this earlier, and that started his spiral into fights and drinking and causing problems. he wanted to see what would finally make his dad stop covering and fixing everything for him. he never found that limit
he knows cherry cant stand the drinking, and i do think he does feel bad about ignoring her feelings about it. but his urge to push back against everything and spit in the face of anyone who tries to tell him how he should be just overpowers. and god everything is more fun when hes boozed up
#oh this got so long. but i hope you like :D#please please please lmk what yall think hehehe#i love yapping these are so fun to think about#the outsiders musical#the outsiders#outsiders musical#the outsiders broadway#bob sheldon#bob the outsiders#paul holden#paul the outsiders#chet baker#chet the outsiders#trip the outsiders#brill the outsiders#parry#paul x darry
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I sometimes get uncomfortable around arguments about if certain characters are abusive or not- obviously I see this the most with 2012 tmnt and nobody really needs my opinion but I keep thinking about it so here’s some words to chew on.
Keep in mind I haven’t seen much of 2012 so I’ll mostly be talking about the WAY I see these discussions being had here, rather than the show itself.
I doubt the creators intended for the turtles to be abusive and I kind of just assume that everything they do is within the genre of slapstick kids show. But I also don’t think people who cringe away from the way they treat each other are reading too much into it.
I’ve seen people argue that ppl who think the brothers are abusive just don’t have siblings and that’s an insane take to me. Obviously its probably hyperbole in some instances but as someone with more siblings than most of the people I know, I 100% see the abuse reading of this series. It’s a very obvious idea to latch onto for me as someone who HAS been abused by my siblings- and who’s probably been abusive too.
The main thing that really gets under my skin is when people point out how much the turtles actually care about each other as evidence against abuse. Cause that doesn’t make any sense ??? you can abuse people you love and care about deeply.
And it really rubs me the wrong way when I see a post that’s like Raph can’t be abusive because he does X nice/cute things with Mikey or something like. That’s not how abuse works. You guys have to know that right?? Abuse isn’t just a person being mean 24/7 without pause.
A bit of a tangent coming up, but growing up, I really hated Mabel from gravity falls. not because she is inherently any more annoying or selfish or anything than other characters but because the way she treated dipper was extremely triggering for me as a child with a lot of anxiety. Like if Mabel was real and my sibling, I would’ve considered a lot of the shit she did abusive. Obviously I’m normal about her now cause I’m not 12 anymore but the biggest hurdle about watching that show when I was younger was that I would sometimes be brought to tears of frustration, imagining how scared and distressed I’d be if Mabel did that shit to me.
THE POINT of this tangent is that saying “the 2012 turtles aren’t abusive because I do that stuff with my siblings all the time/cause teenage boys are just like that” isn’t a genuine critique because abuse isn’t just about the action it’s about the relationship. Punching your sibling who’s actually ok with being punched isn’t abuse. Punching your sibling who really doesn’t want you to, and who you KNOW really doesn’t want you to, and who you KNOW would be genuinely upset by being punched? That is abuse.
And I find it annoying because I think we’re all aware that abuse was likely not the intent of the show. (Probably not even the text of the show but once again can’t say for sure) Maybe some dysfunction for drama, but probably not abuse, so you’re really just arguing against someone’s headcanon/personal interpretation of this show. And it’s like.. ok you have a different reading cool I guess.
In the show they aren’t treated as abusive, but fandoms are built around exploring different aspects of art that weren’t explored in canon. So I guess idk why this is a big deal.
Idk I think people have this idea that abusive = evil and always wrong. But abuse is just someone hurting you repeatedly and refusing to stop for whatever reason.
And with a show like 2012 where it’s all played for laughs it can be hard to tell if that’s how they are with each other because they’re ok with it or if that’s how they are cause they don’t know any other way. The turtles are kind of really mean in 2012, and wether that’s a familiarity kind of meanness or not is up to you in fandom, yknow?
Does Mikey actually consider Raph hitting him as like a fun part if their banter or is he coping with jokes about being physically abused? You decide! Like genuinely it can be either and I think that’s fun!
I mean obviously you all know what i’d pick, but that’s because I’m blissfully aware of what I want out of stories and what i want is nuanced discussions of abuse.
Personally, I acted very similarly to the 2012 turtles when living with my siblings, but I didn’t actually fucking like it. It was a defense mechanism because being genuine would only be met with ridicule. So I’m not inclined to agree that it’s fine because it’s just what they do.
Once again though, I doubt it was on purpose. And if you don’t think that they’re abusive then congrats! The show probably doesn’t either! So I just don’t see why people get super upset about it. Don’t you love that someone got a different story out of the same media??
Anyway obviously it doesn’t super matter and I don’t really have a horse in this race. I just got a bit annoyed with the way abuse is discussed and as a hobbyist Abuse Analyst I thought I’d weigh in.
I wrote this instead of going to sleep and it’s sooo late and also so much longer that I meant for it to be… y’all better not have bad takes in response or I’ll be annoyed as hell tomorrow morning, guh.
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Talk to me abt uhhh anything- Fang, Petey, OC, idc. ANYTHING U WANT💖💖
PLEASE IM GENUINELY INTERESTED IM NOT DOING THIS JUST CUS U LET ME- /gen
I get so nervous writing asks wtf
DUDE IM SO DUCKING HAPPY +omg same </33
COUGH well imma go in order lets go with the
FANG🫧….
SIGHH I LOVE HIM SM. tbh I see how people react to the recent idw miniseries which left the Hooligan fans really sour </33 to me, though, it wasn’t too bad?? I see how it works and honestly the only sad part to me is WHY DID HOOLIGANS BREAK UP AUH but im so used to “sonic canon ew” so like-I should’ve expected that sigh. So I can reason with how excited people headcannon/draw/make whatever of the guy it’s really cool since we all kinda agree? Like even with such a variety we all take the guy lovingly <33 which is sweet :> like its pretty chill-WHCIH IS FUNNY because Im actually really scared in small communities <- i made a post bout it once i-I EAT UP ANY FAN MADE FANG CONTENT FR i love all fangs really [so far] ^ ^ tbh even my school knows that-I did pottery of him, drawn him, spoke of him, my teacher saw a drawing of Fang I did and HE QUOTE: I was looking for that [SIR I GET IT IM PREDICATABLE/silly]
PETEY💠
Ok as much as heartfelt I feel about Fang-Petey is just some other freak of nature my family knows. I’m NOT EVEN JOKING-MY MOM SANG ABOUT HIM WHILE MAKING LUNCH/GEN GEN GEN-cough. Idk why but ever since my brother [the first dog man fan obviously] inserted dog man into my family [by 1. SHOWING MY FANART/BOOKS TO MUM 2. LETTING ME SING THE MUSICAL ALL DAY LON-/positive fs] its been insane/sILLY because-who expected everyone to say “Papa Petey” [i do NOT know how some typo made mo-ok my mom has a Petey problem/sILY AGAIN] in the car-at home…NOT ME THATS WHO. WHY IS PETEY SUCH A NORMAL THING IN MY HOUSEHOLD/positive sigh
OC🌸
OKK well they are ALMOST a wasteland but I have an original story to bring some ocs to life ^ ^ [including-sigh vague mention-the space dog lady and red haired lady ocs i have :3] ESSENTALLY: I’m calling it Brink of Bryony!! [Bryony is about a flower but in plot idk a city??] it’s just a human loser [red haired lady MAYBE] meeting alien folk [Cordella is there…i showed her ONCE] like my self insert hehe [Norolist] because OH NO beeg mister evil guy wants to take over Earth and this NICE alien people gonna protect it! That’s the entire thing, very unserious lmao. Pyrexavul is my precious <33 I don’t think I shared him?? I’ll share em all sometime hehe im too lazy LMAO. So yes yes I’ve been into making that story recently :> !!
ANYTHING🦐
OK SO my Luxury AU has been MANIFESTING MOI cuz i decided: why yes I WILL make a fic bout it!! Yknow just remaking the lore[cough this means me rewriting the first book of DogMan] and putting some stuff into one work ^ ^’ SO FAR I’m really getting into the vibes but what’s crazy is how I turned what I THOUGHT was oughta be a comedy-to a tragedy. No like I KNOW IM GONNA WRITE CUTE STUFF I WILL I JUST-….also might’ve included grief, addiction, ETC I dont even know how I got there 🙂↔️but it’s been fun! Especially since it makes me go down a nice study check with me lmao [I’ve been learning the medical field, laws, how media handles stuff, types of _, etc] hehe rubbing my hands together imma be so happy to write it all hehe and with that I’m learning about my characters a lot better! I thought of it more one noted because its a good start but now im actually learning more bout em :0 !! Love reworking stuff, redesigning, it’s been a huge part of me since idk when ^ ^’
COUGHHHH i think that all works out!! TYSM FOR ASKING I CANNOT EXPRESS THE WHIMSY I FEEL RN <33
#Knizuu yaps omg#Knizuu is well…knizuu#THIS#chatting idk :>#Chitter chatter#No fandom tags…this is just silly hehe#ask
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!!!
any comic you read recently that has been on your mind and you'd like to talk about?
YES ACTUALLY A FEW!
are you scared of darkseid? (2021)
its a halloween one-shot ft. damian n the titans! it's a silly little collection of "spooky" stories they're telling each other while they're out camping (presumably damian's idea) and its genuinely so cute? + the way the titans all vibe together is great & the stories are all pretty great! the first one feature harley quinn and darkseid akshsksv hunting down bloody mary & then the last one is rlly spooky, it's about clark n lois helping locate missing twins who are the kids of one of clark’s childhood friends & they find them at this weird house where a guy is like. finding people / kids to bring to his "wife" so it can drain them of their lives and the "wife" almost drains superman its so wild
my favourite story from it tho was kid flash's! it was rlly intriguing and i wish it was a full story somewhere. basically there was this set of stairs and a man who would come down them to bring people (usually anomalies) home as he told them. he leads a whole town of people away bc they've been exposed to magic and they're changing n stuff so it's not necessarily safe for them to be around and idk it's such a good story it had me gripped man
the question (1986) issues 9-11
idk man i can't think of what i want to say about these ones or the series as a whole other than it drives me fucking insane /pos
these ones were really good bc it kinda shows a different side of vic almost? like he's really self aware about how his friendship w tot was up until that point kind of one sided? in the sense that he knew hardly anything abt tot whereas like tot did know quite a bit about him! + yknow kind of aided in him becoming the question (provided the artifical skin stuff that makes him look faceless among other things!) so it was just really cool to see an arc where he went after him after tot had been kidnapped
+ the bad guy for it was? wild? he was trying to witness a miracle of like alchemy or whatever bc he thought it would change his soul essentially so he wasn't such an awful person anymore. and its kind of vaguely implied at the end that it did work
can't remember the issues exactly but booster gold (2007)!!!
the lengths he was willing to go to so he could bring ted back was so :(
even when rip tried to teach him that sometimes time really is set in stone and you can't change things, he still ended up going back to save ted (granted it was part of a whole Evil Plan and he didn't know that at the time but still)
like rip sent him back to the day that babs was shot, claiming it was never supposed to happen and it was one of the anomalies they were supposed to fix together, bc they both knew that ted cared about babs a lot! (granted pretty sure they only met after she became oracle but whatever) and booster tries so hard again and again, pretty much getting tortured by the joker just bc he's trying to keep this person who his person cares about so much from being hurt. even when it's so clear he can't change it! bc it's cemented in time and they world needs oracle! he still tries. to the point that rip finally has to stop him bc booster is hurt so badly and the booster is so fucking angry and hurt and he doesn't totally get why things have to be this way and he's angry with rip for lying to him and telling him if he helps fix time then they can go save ted and booster would have his best friend back its UGH
people don't understand how much booster gold cares! even in universe sometimes! no one can see past his outward persona n stuff to see that he cares so big and he was willing to fuck up TIME bc he wanted to save his best friend bc he didn't think he should've died! nd yes sometimes how big he cares n loves goes badly (once again fucking up time) and it hurts! ted knew what had to he done and knew he needed to die in order for things to be okay again and booster was so desperate to find some way around it. all signs pointed to that being the only answer but he didn't want to see it.
i also wanna talk about how rip hunter seems put out and annoyed by booster n their relationship is pretty difficult but he cares! bc that's his fucking dad! even though booster doesn't know that and can't know that (at least not yet), he's rip's dad!!
after everything with ted is resolved and he knows how badly booster is taking that n how shit he's gotta be feeling, rip surprises him with someone booster thought was gone forever!! rip was able to save michelle, booster's twin sister!! and they were both so happy to see each other (she was dead for booster, he thought she was dead forever) & one of their first adventures together involves them stealing babs' batgirl costume aksgakvsjs with michelle posing as batgirl (originally when i saw the preview image in the issue before it i thought it was BOOST dressed up as batgirl and i LOVED that, that's what we deserved)
^^ the aforementioned image. genuinely had my hopes up i thought it'd be fun tbh i loved the idea of him trying and failing to convince people he is in fact batgirl
OH AND!
alfred straight up tries to shoot him and michelle ajakbsksb that's the context for this panel if you've eever seen it before. boost n michelle break into the batcave bc their plan a was for them to steal the batsuit n boost was gonna pose as batman (terrible plan) but things go terribly terribly wrong. they do end up stealing the batmobile! which leads to a very confused dick coming down into the cave wondering if bruce left without him.... at day time.
still not over how down alfred was with potentially maiming these people who found and broke into the batcave like i get it i do but on god if it isn't a little funny. like my boss might not kill people but i sure will lmao
booster does end up posing as killer moth. and dressing like elvis bc somehow that was a good disguise to him
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on matteus wheeler (cw - domestic abuse)
meowth just said this:
"what if one of the reasons that matt resents spin so much is because he reminds him of his brother. IKR matt has a brother?? who went to the navy or something but. matt doesn’t blame him for leaving but cant help resenting him + we dont hear that matts brother ever contacts him either?"
and its got our brains churning. matt is a character that really deserved to be explored more.
we like to headcanon that spin and matt have a hesitant brotherly relationship, and that whole sentence just added more fuel to that. matt definitely projects a LOT, so with spin being similar to his brother (yknow, the one who was able to escape the violence their father inflicted on them), he lashes out and says things that he probably had buried deep down inside him
other things of note:
what if he hates to be called nicknames by spin because his brother did that
the fact that matt is so quick to violence (especially towards spin) is definitely some sort of unhealthy coping mechanism
also i feel like matt is so open to violence is because of his home life situation, he doesn't know how else to regulate emotions - he copies what he sees, and what he sees is his father hurting him. im not sure, but i think it's implied that matt knows that how he goes about things is wrong but he believes that he's just that kind of person so he doesn't try to change?
like in his mind he is the rough, gets-in-fights-all-the-time boy and if he's going to get through his situation he has to keep that up.
also 2 more diabolical ideas from meowth:
"i imagine every time hes angry he gets scared he’ll be like his dad"
ouch. my heart. of course this boy doesn't want to be like his father, but he knows that he could very easily become like him.
and
"maybe the reason matt is so emotionless is because he knows his father would take advantage of anything he saw"
right in the feels!
all this stuff could have been added to the books to give matt more depth, but it wasn't (to be fair though, night speakers is kind of a children's book series haha like 11-12 yrs probably) (but i mean who said children's books couldn't explore these aspects?) (ali sparkes literally wrote about matt being abused so... er... yeah.)
also matt deserved more interesting dialogue sometimes he had a banger line but idk he felt quite bland in that aspect (could just be me misremembering the books though)
anyway what do you guys think!!!
#night speakers#ali sparkes#matteus wheeler#matt night speakers#matt deserved more screen time#even though it was a book#and even though he was a main character#dont even get me started on him and lucky#they are both so cute
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Okay this is really long and absolute yappery just. I NEED to shove this out somewhere besides with my pookie
So I think like a few people know who Alexi is??? Right, my silly until dawn oc. Him and Mack (or Moose) are me and my friends silly ud ocs right
I'm focusing more on these sillies than Alexi IN ud so I'm yapping about them !!! Because they're so silly
To the 3 people (pookie and like. Idk other goobers) who might read this tell me if you want more yapping of them because they're infecting my brain rn and I want me and pookie to yap more
ALSO INCLUDING SOME DOODLES AND DRAWING BY POOKIE!!! @roverthegoober
GOLLY I love these guys..... a LARGE portion is just like angst or the aftermath of the ud events
Two goobers meeting in early middle school only over the fact Alexi was asking him for help on work and after that he kept bothering him. Not even for help, asking random questions, and trying to know him better.
Alexi having Mack over for a movie night, and he's either forcing him to watch some sad rom-com or all of The Thing movies and explaining the comics and lore, pointing out small details and references in or related to The Thing (its his favorite horror series? I think it counts as a series right)
Like after the events of ud (saying everyone lives ending), they're both screwed up, but Mack had suffered from tbi (traumatic brain injury). Alexi is also suffering, obviously. Half his face is still messed up, his arm and hand are, but he doesn't have severe head injury (facial yeah, but erm... not head or brain, yknow)
Alexi isn't making any efforts to talk to anyone else (the group, not REALLY his family except if it's his brother, which is unlikely), but he's talking to Mack. Only talking to Mack, even if they're both struggling and trying to recover, he's literally worried sick about him and not metaphorically (because his anxiety is increased tenfold now)
Depending on how severe the tbi is, Mack COULD have memory issues with recalling what went on that night and everything that happened (long-term memory loss, he'd also struggle to remember how to do this or that and what this is etc). So Alexi is just dumbfounded.
Alexi can remember everything perfectly fine, and he just can't grasp that the person closest to him can't?? He can't go to Mack for any questions on what happened, how he got injured (at least for the injuries he wasn't present for, or Mack already told him after) and he can't go to him for any reassurance and comfort.
He's just in shock because he is ABSOLUTELY NOT going to confide in someone else, like family or a friend, because you have to be so insanely close to this guy for him to trust you to that extent.
So, over the years, he's sticking with Mack since he still remembers him, but not completely. He can't recall facts about him or moments that happened between them, and its not completely Mack.
ANYWAYS, IM GONNA LEAVE THAT THERE BC I DONT WANNA YAP ABOUT SAD SHIT ALL IN THIS POST
Don't come after me for anything that's not super medically accurate. Im not a doctor or anything. im just spit balling to get an idea out. Like Mack would probably have different symptoms and stuff, but this is just for silly fun for our ocs and I just wanna be silly 😞😞 this is literally just for fun so don't come at me with a pitchfork and mob
More art giggles
I love these guys I need them dead
Alexi was almost a theater kid, but he was too scared to because of his anxiety, but he still really wanted to try singing (he wasn't exactly too big on the dancing portion). He only did a few times at his house in his room, but his mom caught on and offered to get him a personal vocal coach (or trainer, idk the exact title).
So he CAN sing somewhat, but it's been a bit since he has, and he definitely isn't telling that to just anyone. Mack only found this out when they jokingly had a karaoke night, and Alexi didn't suck at singing
Also, if anybody is confused about why he has red hair, sometimes it's because his natural hair color is red, but he dyes it black. His older brother has black hair, and he was really close with him, and so around the start of high school, he started to dye it a bit to try it, and eventually he just ended up doing it completely and making it a routine.
Mack helps him dye it sometimes, but that's not often since he isn't the super best at it..... helps with getting Alexi what he needs mainly
OKAY THATS ALLLL !!!!! IM GONNA try to finish drawing Mack and Alexi as Paul and Sam from TGWDLM and sleep...
#mack and alexi being gay#alexi and mack#alexi miller#until dawn#until dawn oc#certified yapper#i love yapping#oc talk
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[background template source!]
hmm yknow what. maybe i was supposed to describe the unique magic in that bottom box. oh well teehee!!!!!
updated references for twst rsa ocs Char and Dañarte!!!!! for now. i'll add them to artfight soon!!! I was gonna do another one for Dañarte's Scarabia Era but I worked on these all week.... so i'll just do that one separately sometime maybe lol. anyway i've posted about these guys a lot as u can see from the tags i gave them on my blog, BUT my main origin post about their soap opera lore is really long and intimidating to read.... I have a shorter lore post here, but JFKSJLDJFKLDS.... finding these templates made nice, more condensed intros for them lol. and I [slightly] updated their looks so they aren't just carbon copies of what the seven dwarf characters are wearing!!!! but i'm bad at clothing design so i didn't really change them much!!!!
also i tried to be careful but my handwriting is Bad so i'll retype the info / talk more under the cut.
First guy: CHAR
Age: 18
Best Subject: Animal Languages
Birthday: March 19
Class: 3-C
Club: Fencing [does rsa have a fencing club. idk. they do now.]
Height: 175 cm
Hobby: Horseback Riding
Homeland: Shaftlands
Likes: Arts & Crafts, Shellfish
Dislikes: Keeping Secrets, Beets
Unique Magic: Unknown [I haven't decided one for him yet, and I may simply make him a late bloomer who hasn't discovered his yet lol]
Extra info:
Favorite Stones: Pink Opal & Chrysoberyl
Older Cousin to Dañarte
Long-lost childhood friend + new love interest to Cater
Source Character: Prince Charming from Cinderella
Second guy: Dañarte*
Age: 17
Best Subject: Ancient Magic
Birthday: February 13
Class: 2-C
Club: Equestrian Club
Height: 182 cm
Hobby: Writing Speeches
Homeland: Shaftlands
Likes: Planning, Grain bowls
Dislikes: Tenderhearted people, Undercooked meat
Unique Magic: Kiss of Frost: He kisses something or someone and temporarily freezes them ICY STYLE!!!!! or something like that. idk it doesn't kill people[???? maybe it could. idk.] but it don't feel good. Perhaps the area of frost can vary as well, like a small smooch spot vs spreading through the whole body? We gotta workshop it a bit more I'll get back to u on that someday. maybe.
Extra info:
Favorite Stone: Apatite
Char's younger cousin
"Love interest" to Cater + later on, Jamil...
Source Character: Hans from Frozen
RSA -> NRC -> Scarabia [He gets expelled and/or leaves RSA for whatever reason, I still haven't come up w/that part LOL... and ends up at NRC post breakup with Cater and gets sorted into Scarabia.]
* Disclaimer bc I feel the need to point out whenever I bring him up about his name lol- Dañarte isn't truly a name, it's just a spanish verb that's like "to hurt you". his character literally spawned from a convo I was having with a friend when I was trying to think of a name for Char, and something I said got autocorrected to Dañarte, and we made jokes about an evil princely character... so he became his own thing and I just kept that as his name lol.
anyway. i like talking about them but i also get shy and embarrassed about it klfjslfjks. also i probs did not draw them to scale bc life is hard. so are colors. i went very basic bc im scared but im trying to remember how colors work again in our year 2024 or whatever. WAHOO FUNNY LITTLE GUYS!!!!
shoutout to op of this template [@unfinished-projects-galore] making me sit here and consider the lives of these boys a lil more w/that bio layout. i was tempted to put summoning as Char's best class but WHAT do they summon. tell me idia what does that MEAN - jk it's probably like how juice bb summons cauldrons lol. I also considered Potionology for Dañarte but I think he'd like stuff like history and all that jazz and older [perhaps FORBIDDEN] ways of doing things.
#twisted wonderland#twst oc#ocs#twst#cereal tries to draw#oc: char#oc: Dañarte#ummm did i have a caterella tag. idr. but they technically spawned from my caterella multiverse so#caterella#was that all the catalogue tagging. i think so. ok im going to go play persona now byebye.#but also. twst oc havers. our kids should hang out 👀#well maybe char should. Dañarte's a bitch. but i'll make him go on play dates LOL JFDSKLFJKSDLJFLJ ok jkjk. or am i. jsklfjdskljls#ok actually im gonna slap these new refs on artfight and THEN go play persona#unless im at the pic limit then ill deal w/it later#ONLY A FEW MORE MONTHS TIL ARTFIGHT HANG OUT W/ME ON ARTFIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT PLEEEAAAAAAAAAAASE#ok. bye. 🚶
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chapter 8. the biggie. part 1.
it is now i reveal a terrible secret to you all;
you can ctrl+f this chapter and compare it to If-- by Rudyard Kipling. and you will find that every god damn word in that stupid poem appears at least once. there are also a few paraphrased lines in there that you might notice.
WHY???
[i am very bad when it comes to gaging ppl's knowledge of poems i think everyone already knows, so yeah, the poem they're sharing is If- by Rudyard Kipling. easy for me to recognize personally because my mom memorized it all in school and would say it to me sometimes]
this process included me writing the whole thing out by hand, ctrl + f for all of the words, highlighting the ones that i had yet to use, and then keeping the list next to me while editing the first draft
and if you didnt notice this fact at all. that means i did a GOOD JOB!! cause its SUPPOSED TO BLEND IN SEAMLESSLY!!
yknow. its the moment hawkeye fell head-over-heels. and bj too, maybe. so ofc i had to include it in the chapter where they finally Kiss. they havent worked it all out yet yeah but. cmon. i cant just not. my options were to either have one of them reference it directly [im bad at that, and would be ham-fisted], or do this insane strat. and i picked the worst option. fuckin Knaves i hate you rudyard kipling for this and other reasons
also; shouted out in the ao3 endnotes but ill do it here to all sneaky-like, shout out to serpercival for both motivating me to put trapper in this chapter via loving the guy a lot and for letting me use their marvelous brain to pick out some subtle nods to Trapper John MD. i dont wanna @ people but hehe i can still link their page >:]
anyway: the painting peg talks abt being erin's favourite is California Spring, as she says, and here it is
folks i can finally use this meme i made back before i even finished chapter 4
shoutout to this video for being great to have in the bg underneath my sad love music to really set the scene. Loon moment
if you liked how papa Daniel Pierce acted in this, good! hes based off my childhood best friend's mom! she was very intimidating and always had this serious look on her face but the very first time i went over to their house she went 'psst. [best friend]. hball. come over here my husband is gonna come up the stairs and you should jump out and scare him' within the first 20 minutes!!
so basically hes stern/serious/intimidating [formal letters, the kind of man to not want to worry his son, idk just feels right] but goofy as shit and its all a facade [had hawkeye so he gotta be a lil silly, dinner table talk in Sons and Bowlers]
if you liked how i described hawkeye's childhood home GOOD!! i was describing my grandmother's house the whole time and you didnt even know. that ugly sofa is a thing my grandpa did. get pranked. always draw on experience when possible folks
i plan to have the next chapter out two days from now. THREE at the LATEST. and tomorrow i plan to publish the next Operating in Limbo chapter ~sometime~ before midnight [my time. central time.], or like 1am at the latest since i can stay up late tomorrow. unless the Troubles.
reward for scrolling this far; my saga of proto-names being shit like 'ooga booga' continues in the form of this being the working title for the Big Conversation chapter;
#.yappin#FINALLY. AFTER LIKE 20 DAYS. GOD DAMN.#i am spoon-feeding you like 7.5k words so i hope that makes up for it#.ficpost
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NEW EPS THOUGHTS TIME OH BOY OH BOY
The Warrior:
- PURE FEAR OVER THE THREAT OF FACING CONSEQUENCES
- KID PLEASE HE’S ONLY LIKE 2 INCHES TALL YOU WOULDNT HURT A LITTLE GUY WOULD YOU
- his ass WOULD know what worldstar is
- :( <--- my face as i mark a 0 on the “Days Since Another ‘Beavis Gets Assaulted Joke’ Was Made” board
- I will say though i love how quick they are to jump on board with each others bits. like their ability to just start riffing off each other sometimes is really fucking cute
- this ep is so fun theyre just playing toys with each other without a single care in the world
- he’s a special warrior and he is invincible :D HE’S THE CHAMPION !!! so proud of him
very cute ep, simple, fun :]
Vasectomies:
- This guy knows what he’s talking about! (proceeds to not pay attention whatsoever). good call boys
- jesus stripper
- “You’re the biggest dumbass in the world <3″ “Up yours <3″ literal couple communication goals
- “Say it sister” shut up. queer faggot. faggot. its pride month he’s gotta show off his rainbow side thank you mike
- Pictured: Butthead having to explain the joke to his autistic husband in terms he understands
- oh just look how polite
idk why they hit him especially hard with the fairy boy beam this episode but im here for it. i guess getting married just does that to ya
- oh yknow just two grown men going into the dr’s office to get a procedure at the same time directly beside each other. nothing weird about this. its just so they can hold hands in a manly way the whole time in case one of them gets scared dont mind them
- YOOOOO BUTTHEADS GOT A PS5? I GOTTA HANG OUT AT HIS HOUSE
- THIS AND ALL THE FRAMED PICTURES OF FIRE HE HAS ON HIS WALLSSSS HE LOVES HIS LITTLE BEAVLETTES AS MUCH AS HE LOVES FIRE what a good dad awwww
- also the both of them maintaining such a childish and idealistic imagination into their middle ages is kinda fucking awesome. like. they still havent lost that weird sense of innocence im so happy for them
- what a beautiful family. mama beavis id love a dr pepper
- they’d wanna be good daaaaaaaaads
- “the world needs more buttheads” highly agreed
I liked these eps a lot!!! Very cute, nothing happened whatsoever and they got kicked in the nads. What more could you ask for from new episodes?
AND WE KEEP THE NO PISS DRINKING STREAK LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I STAY WINNING
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lengthy discussion of ed treatment/management under the cut but nothing triggering or specific
i think its funny that im like.. (i believe) very good at giving advice regarding eating disorders to other people.. like, i will often give detailed, multi-paragraph, nuanced advice and information on dealing with eds and give people lists of ways they can reach for help, advice on managing disordered eating behaviors as best as possible, reassurance that yes, what theyre describing is a real ed, yes they deserve help, no they dont need to get any sicker to get help, ill frequently ask people who are down on themselves or ashamed bc of eating disorders to let me have faith in them on their behalf/let them know that im proud of them even if they arent/reassure them that they are never alone with this even in the worst part of an ed when it feels like youre the only person this fucked up on the planet/celebrate their wins and improvements if they have no one to be proud of them/etc. and none of this im saying to congratulate myself like.. i am somewhat educated on this topic, i like being able to use that to help out people, im not doing anything extraordinary or praiseworthy, i just have a certain level of skill/knowledge in handling eds and so i feel its sort of a responsibility i want to take on to put that to use.
but the point is.. i can do all this for other people but when it comes to myself? i dont follow any of my advice. my relationship to food is terrible and so is that to my body. i know all this stuff, i have all these nice things to say to other people - and i can't apply any of it to myself.
and though i always encourage people to reach out to medical professionals, to nutritionists, to therapists specializing in ed, to hotlines, to ed clinics.. i have been let down by every single one of those. my nutritionist told me my eating problems are a psychiatric issue and therefore she simply couldnt help me in any way. my psychiatrist listened to me describe my ed and had no advice bc he doesnt specialize in this and cant help me. the ed clinic in my city wouldnt offer me treatment bc they only take extremely underweight patients. a nutrition/ed support clinic a friend recommended wont take me either bc im not overweight enough. i contacted an ed hotline, set up a phone appointment with the hotline worker, and got ghosted. every avenue of help i have found has said "i cant help you" or "i wont help you". and yet here i am, still telling people to seek professional support and hoping they have better luck than me..
idk. sometimes i just feel phony, yknow? like, here i am giving people all this reassuring, in-depth, affirming advice that sounds like.. wise or like i know my shit right, and then you go look at my post history on the same account and theres my post about my relapse and how profoundly i hate myself and am disgusted with myself. it makes me feel like.. me still being in the deep of the ed devalues my advice. you peek under the curtain, and the guy who talks like he has it all figured out and can help you is just as lost, scared, ashamed and miserable as you.
not sure what im trying to say. just. think about this regularly ig. i wonder how i wouldve fared in a world where i didnt get rejected from returning to the psychology course, in a world where i become someones therapist - would i have too felt like an absolute phony, a poser, if i had become a therapist while being this mentally unwell? idk. maybe. it doesnt matter now, anyway.
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