hideyseek

[hideyseek]

not even an extremely tiny buny is safe from controversy

[hideyseek]

yeah, yeah, i know, luo guanzhong made one of the most influential works of chinese literature of all time. sure, i get it. that’s pretty impressive. it’s just that i’ve been working on a little book called “romance of the four kingdoms”. which is one better than his thing. but whatever

[hideyseek]

mutuals! non-mutuals! whoever sees this post! i have but one (1) request: one (1) song recommendation. any genre, any language, can be your absolute favorite or something you think is underrated or just stuck in your head etc. just one (1) song per person though. oki thanks :D

[hideyseek]

Reblog to give mutuals a break from whatever they're been going through

[hideyseek]

i love listening to the same 6 artists over and over. #music #mymusic

[hideyseek]

what writing fic is always meant to feel like

[hideyseek]

every day my love for garlic grows stronger

[hideyseek]

they actually created me to become famous. but i was shy

[hideyseek]

I'm like one of those guys who were supposed to become great footballers but had a career ending injury when they were young except for me it was the depression and her friends

[hideyseek]

[hideyseek]

stupid thing about me is I don’t cut corners but I also have no work ethic. if I do something it WILL be done right. no telling whether I’ll actually fucking do it tho

[hideyseek]

Where do you see yourself in 5 years?

Look buddy, i’m just trying to make it to Friday.

[hideyseek]

[hideyseek]

Its not safe to scroll on here alone. here. take this bug 🐛

[hideyseek]

holy shit im maybe slowly ... experiencing writing recovery ...? i read the second half of ch 4 of the distance fic, and the judgementalness that makes the words just sentences instead of story didnt immediately kick in, and for the first time i experienced the tension that ppl have talked about experiencing in that section wtf i kind of thought i couldn't read my own writing enjoyably but maybe ive just been kind of meanies to myself while reading this whole time?

ok so what's working is: not writing. or, writing very little. and waiting (its been like 2.5 months since i approached what i consider a "normal" writing schedule). and reading a lot of stuff across the spectrum of "im compelled by this" (especially finishing stuff i would have dnf'd if i was reading for fun, and especially reading stuff that im like 'oh fuck i want to be able to write like this") while doing a smidge of "and this is what is or isn't working for me about it". especially the reading bc that i think is what let me then tab over to my own fic and read it in the same mindset as ive been reading other fic

and also ahaha, especially what's working is not pushing myself, meeting myself where i am (not reading either for like two months). doing my best to be kind to myself about it and registering both when i accept it and also allowing myself to be frustrated about how slow this is happening without sliding into yelling at myself (shocking .... how this self-compassion thing ... really ........... works ............................... and the effect even .... compounds ............ over time .......)

[hideyseek]

made a picker wheel for basically zhou shen's entire discography!

tag yourself, i'm 风筝是风的信