#idk friends and I are goofing off on discord

[phoenix-arts7]

Forget Tingle getting his own games. We all can agree that treatment is deserved by another character.

Proposing: The Legend of Zelda

THE GROOSE IS LOOSE

It's just a building game where Groose fulfills his dream of being an engineer.

imagine if TotK Link came in with ultrahand

[bird-divorce]

hii i'm eli, she/her, 26.

for the past 2 years i've been minding my business but idk i got bored i guess and wanna share my art and memes with more people than are in my 10 person discord so after 12 years on tumblr i am finally making my first ever fan blog lmao!

i am here to make friends and play dolls so unless stated otherwise, any of my thoughts or goofs are always free to use as a jumping off point to make your own thing! just lmk when you do so I can hype you about it :)

[digital-hallucination]

INTRO POST!!

⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅

HIHI!! you can call me calico or leafy, either one iz fine :3

i uze she/they/paw!

im a demigirl + sapphic and i uze xenogenderz! im also questioning if im on the aromantic/aroace spectrum

im 13! im gonna be 14 on december 3 >_<

i have social anxiety and autizm (both diagnosed)

i have a typing quirk! herez how i uze it:

“i forgot to do my homework last night, i hope my teacher doesnt check today.” iz now: “i 4got 2 do my homework last night, i hope my teacher doeznt check 2day.”

⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅

im an editor, artist, and fanfic writer!

ive been editing since december 2021! ive alwayz only uzed capcut becauze idk how 2 uze anything else tbh..i post my edits on tiktok (bottom of post)

ive been drawing traditionally my whole life, and digitally since 2020, i uze ibispaintx and my art acc iz on instagram (bottom of post)

im also a fanfic writer! i have a bfb au and i write oneshots once in a blue moon (i write on ao3 and wattpad, bottom of post)

tbh 4 this account im gonna fuck around and find out what gets reach

⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅

MY SPECIAL INTERESTS ARE CATS AND OBJECT SHOWZ PLEAZE ASK ME ABOUT THEM PLZPSLZPZLZ

i have 6 cats and a dog i love them so so much

i first discovered the osc in 2016 and ive been fixating on it on and off ever since </3 so far ive watched bfdi, ii, hfjone, burner, and cfmot and i plan 2 watch a lot more! a few showz on my list are extraordinary excellent entitiez, the nightly manor, ion, etc!

some of my other hyperfixationz/interests are total drama, vocaloid, project sekai, hell park/south park, dr stone, percy jackson, lps 2012, pokemon, spooky month, tbhk, AND A LOT MORE god im in so many fandomz plz

i kin a lot of characterz…my highest kinz are leafy (bfb), fan (ii), nene kusanagi (pjsekai), amelia euler (one), taylor nolan (one), teardrop (bfb), x (bfb), remote (tpot), suitcase (ii), microphone (ii), tweek tweak, heidi turner, pip pirrup, mafuyu asahina (project sekai), ena shinonome (pjsekai), AND SO MANY MORE BC IM MENTALLY ILL

i also collect ships like baseball cardz so here are some of my fav ships!

bfb/bfdi/tpot: tree x bottle, liy x leafy, teardrop x leafy, pillow x book, gelatin x leafy, tennis ball x goof ball, pin x coiny, and a bunch of other ships with leafy LMAO

inanimate insanity: poly bright lights, fan x test tube, lightbulb x paintbrush, suitcase x microphone, soap x microphone, lifering x tea kettle, baseball x nickel, suitcase x balloon (only platonically!)

hfjone: liam x bryce x amelia, taylor x charise, bryce x amelia, liam x owen

cumfart and burner: spraypaint x kit, kit x rozey, tissuez x record, knify x picture, chargery x socka, yoshka x kratcy

project sekai: nene x tsukasa, kohane x akito, an x kohane, akito x toya, mizuki x an, rui x emu, ena x airi, minori x kohane

tbh the only tdi ships i like so far are noah x cody and tyler x lindzay

I CANT MAKE THIS INTRO POST SILLY ANYMORE BECAUZE COPY AND PASTE IZ BEING FUCKY

BOUNDARIEZ!!

dni: basic dni, pro/comshipperz, xenogender/neopronoun antiz, rarepair antiz, winner x clock shipperz

thin ice (unless we r close): cringe culture believerz, fireafy likerz, oc x canon antiz, firey defenderz, tree x remote shipperz

plz interact: osc, cat loverz, pjsekai playerz, vocaloid fanz, TROTTLE SHIPPERZ, literally any1 who sharez my interests

MORE AB ME!!!!

im a choir kid

im an infp-t

my humor: 🔥‼️😰⁉️💔😇🚼💨😈😡😧👎😱🤓🧌🤨🦅😿

my fav artists are cheezy hfj, inanimate insanity, taylor swift, melanie martinez, ghost and palz, mitski, maretu, kikuo, the living tombstone, and or3o :3

MY ACCOUNTS!!

tiktok: sillyvveon (main) treexbottle (alt)

ask 4 discord!

wattpad: calico_cloverz

twitter: cxlico__cxt (shitposting/spam) theiichronicles (rant/opinion acc)

instagram: calicokittypawzz (art)

tumblr: youre here!

ao3: cxlico_cxt

project sekai friend code (global server): 210235411300147200

bye thanks 4 reading! :3

[the-punforgiven]

It's me tag

was tagged by @catfacedvampire It's been ages since someone last tagged me in one of these lmao

- Are you named after anyone?

No, apparently my name was a fairly last-minute affair when I was born and my mother took one look at me and realized I'd make a terrible Wolfgang

2. - When was the last time you cried?

December 18th, 2022. I wouldn't remember were it not for Discord timestamps lmao I had accidentally double-dosed on my antidepressants and was weeping tears of love and joy over the fucking Claymore being in Elden Ring while I was mid-shift at work

Interesting day, that was

3. - Do you have kids?

No. Don't really plan to either, not on my budget, and given I was crying over a sword in a videogame barely a month ago I don't think I'm mentally fit for one either lmao

4. - Do you use sarcasm a lot?

Yeah

5. - What's the first thing you notice about people?

Usually either their hair or clothes tbh, I'm faceblind as shit lmao

6. - What's your eye colour?

Idk either brown or green, depending on the light

7. - Scary movies or happy endings?

Idk honestly I love the horror genre but my tastes are so insane, weird, and specific that I also don't love a huge chunk of the horror genre and would prefer like, literally anything else Also I'm just a sucker for characters being happy, so sue me I like that things can work out alright as long as the story preceding it isn't boring lmao

8. - Any special talents?

I'm surprisingly good at playing music on like, small things that play notes that it isn't super expected to actually play music on, like how I used to be able to play the tetris theme on my mother's old cell phone keypad when I was like 12, or how I can play Unwelcome by Arsis on the Warframe Shawzin now

I used to be able to play the intro to Through The Fire And The Flames on Big Band's trumpet in Skullgirls back when I played that, but it's been a while and I'm pretty certain all my muscle memory for that game's long gone lmao

9. - Where were you born?

That weird little dirt orb that sometimes shows up between Venus and Mars

10. What are your hobbies?

Art, making stupid little tunes in Beepbox.co, fighting my friends with swords (highly recommend), Whatever you call the Fromsoftware Souls Game Brainrot that possesses you and makes you do co-op forever, loving it deeply and never tiring of it @mutuals I am begging you to play Elden Ring with me PLEASE Making music with instruments and my voice outside of Beepbox.co (though admittedly I've been having more fun goofing off with Beepbox lately lmao)

11. Have you any pets?

BEHOLD

12. What sports do you play/ have you played?

I don't play sports, but I have an interest in fencing, though idk how well I'd play with not only a light whippy sword (I'm a longsword kinda person at heart) as well as having a sword restricted to only one hand (again, I'm a longsword kinda person at heart)

13. How tall are you?

idk like 6'3 I think? (Don't let my sister lie to you, she keeps telling everyone I'm 6'4 and I can't make her stop)

14. Favourite subject in school?

I barely remember school at all tbh but the student councilor also ran a creative writing class that was rad as hell, though I don't remember more than like three things that happened in it over the two years I was taking it lmao I also remember liking art class, but I was so bad with rules I'm kinda surprised I passed lmao, I just doodled whatever the fuck every day and the teacher was just like "Yeah sure, this'll do" and passed me lmao

15. Dream job?

Tbh Daisuke Ishiwatari is already living my ideal career path and I haven't thought of anything else I really want to do yet

That's a lie I just like, really deeply want to be in a shitty metal band made up of friends that tours in a van who doesn't sound all that great but you can tell is just pouring their fucking hearts out up there and so you kinda forgive them because the performance is just so raw even if the technical skill isn't great and there may be some issues with the faulty electronics and at least one of them hasn't changed their strings in like four years but they sound good they love what they do and they're easy to headbang too so like, what more do you need, really?

Idk who to tag but like, if you wanna do this, feel free to do it and just like, say I tagged you in it, I won't tell

[hua-fei-hua]

something very lovely abt sitting on the living room couch, playing music aloud as i read fanfiction and wait for the meat to defrost in the sunlight bc i took it out of the freezer too late

[phoenixyfriend]

When Obi-Wan gets to AotC, there's also about two dozen Anakin clones on-site. They're all girls because... IDK Anakin is trans. They have a hive mind and are developmentally a few years younger than Anakin himself.

It's incredibly unsettling to Obi-Wan.

It's almost definitely a "fuck with Anakin's already fragile mental health" ploy by Palpatine, along with a "what if Jedi Black Widows, for me, a Sith Lord. Wouldn't that be neat? That would be neat."

Anakin is torn between "this freaks me out" and "GANG OF BABY SISTERS LET'S GOOOOOOO."

(I just finished reading Like Real People Do by glimmerglanger, so this is definitely inspired by that and the obligatory 'lay back in bed and daydream variations on plot points of that fic you just really enjoyed,' and also a little by Same Heart, Same Blood by loosingletters.)

They're physically like 14-16 on average, and Anakin's vibrating out of his skin with a million conflicting emotions, but when he tells Padme she's just like "oh, you have a handmaiden gang!"

I told this to @willowcrowned and she suggested:

Once Anakin decides to repress the part of him that’s weirded out and just regard them as baby sisters he gets. A little strange about it The first time one of them dies he may or may not slaughter every person he can [in response to Padme's comment] Anakin starts worrying that he needs to get them cool matching outfits

I also chatted about it with @firebirdeternal and they said:

Gang of Unsettling Smol Siblings is exactly the Karma that Anakin deserves

Do you think the Clones have a kind of Collective Name that they use at first that eventually just kind of morphs into a new last name? Skysisters or something? Like Palpatine was trying to be clever and name them like the Nightsisters.

I initially went with "functionally one person" hive-mind but I'm torn.

I think maybe they're BASICALLY one person on Kamino but drift into Separate Consciousness once they're far enough apart physically that their minds don't blend from proximity anymore.

Then they start Dating (like half of them are dating Fett clones because they grew up with these dudes, it's like childhood friends romance), and Anakin loses his mind about Protecting Them and They're Too Young.

Padme: You're nineteen and we just got married, they can date. Anakin: THEY'RE EIGHT. Padme: And the Fett clones are ten and dying for us in the field. Get them rights before you panic about their love lives.

Firebird:

it could be worse, one of them could imprint on Obi-Wan. "Anakin I promise I won't yell at you for the next five stupid things you do if you can figure out a way to stop this baby from having a crush on me" (I like the idea of Obi-wan bargaining not with "I won't be mad at you ever" because they Both Know That's Not True, and instead haggling with specific allowances. Like he's handing out Stupidity Coupons)

Please imagine Mace and Obi-Wan's personal responses to the idea of suddenly having to deal with not one, not two, but OVER TWENTY SKYWALKERS.

Plo is delighted to take one off their hands.

So is Yoda.

Willow:

Mace is like. okay suicide isn’t the Jedi way but on the other hand. i physically cannot deal with this Yoda: a skywalker, you say? one who is tall enough to reach the top shelf, you say? such a skywalker, bring me

Anakin would be given at least one because fuck you, suffer with us, but he's still a padawan so Ugh, fine, no.

I want to say one stays on Coruscant to hang out with the Guard, and ends up half-adopted by Padme. She keeps dressing up the Aniclone left with her in handmaiden outfits and sending selfies to Anakin.

"Hanging out with the little SiL!"

Anakin has so many issues about WHEN his genetic material was acquired.

And there's some confusion from the Fett clones about how much of a hive mind is normal for Jedi. They are confused that the answer is basically none, and "this is WHY nobody clones a Jedi"

ONE OF THEM STEALS BOBA FROM THE ARENA ON GEONOSIS.

Firebird:

"I have followed in our progenitor's footsteps and acquired a sibling." holds up a struggling Boba "He bites."

Willow:

Ooooo okay so if they have a sort of hive mind then they probably don’t have names other than their designations on Kamino right BUT When they SEPARATE The one that picks Boba up on Geonosis gets a name specifically for that. Okay what if the one Padmé picks up gets some variant on ‘pretty’ because she’s always being dressed up BELLE Maybe Yoda’s Ani has a name that means thief? Because obviously Yoda is using Anakin to steal sweets

So, to make the timeline work...

I don't think anyone would give Anakin one of his sisters until after he's knighted at least.

So obviously when they're doing initial placements none of the sisters go to him or Obi-Wan.

Once he's knighted, of course they're already all placed with someone, and Anakin instead gets Ahsoka. He loves Ahsoka. She is also a little sister. He said so.

At some point afterwards, one of the sisters is left without a place because the Master that was in charge of her died in the field battle.

That sister then gets placed with Obi-Wan, because he's already mostly-successfully raised one Skywalker, so he can do it again.

Anakin gets to hang out with her basically all the time.

Ahsoka is very very jealous of this girl stealing Anakin's attention.

Anakin is oblivious to the rivalry.

He asks Barriss to look after them while he's discussing Adult War Things with Luminara and Obi-Wan, and Barriss gets an eye into This Mess, which is quickly colored by Ahsoka growing a puppy crush on the lovely Miss Offee herself.

Firebird:

Ahsoka: Ah yes, my nemesis. Anisister: Ah yes, my new older sister whom I want to impress so bad.

"I will impress her by being Stoic and Competent" "Oh my god she must think she's so much better than me what a bitch"

Anakin is oblivious to most things to be fair Anakin: Laser focused precision fighting machine who can read the tiniest body movements and predict your moves seconds in advance, who also cannot understand even the most basic social nuance. I was originally writing this as to Dunk on Anakin but then I made myself sad, because none of those things are really his fault.

So you know that post about like, Sasuke and Brooding, specifically in the context of "Brooding" as it's used to refer to Nesting Chickens? Grouchy and protective and sitting on a tennis ball trying to hatch it because they're just. "These are my Babies." Anakin Broods. Baby sisters. Must protecc. "I'm actually fine and extremely deadly in combat." "MUST PROTECT."

Bad Guy: [catches Ahsoka in a Trap] Aniclone: Must rescue sister! Aniclone: [fights, is not winning fight, gets ouched] Ahsoka tearing her way out of Trap: I lived bitch. Also: stay the fuck away from her. [murders so hard]

Ahsoka catches the Protective Older Sib feels by the traditional method: "Hey, only I'm allowed to be mean to them."

Willow:

Oh Anakin has no clue what’s going on. He walks in on Ahsoka glaring at the Ani and is like!!! Little sisters!!! Bonding!!! When Ahsoka was about three seconds away from tossing her out of the airlock. Ahsoka mistakenly assumes that Barriss has a crush on the Ani, and gets even MORE jealous.

Obi-Wan is like oh god. I can’t take care of an Anakin going through puberty again. He’s great with periods and other stuff because he read about a billion books. He is TERRIBLE with everything else, as he was the first time.

Barriss is like???? YOU'RE BOTH CHILDREN, PLEASE CALM DOWN, I HAVE ZERO INTEREST IN DATING ANYONE, LET ALONE SOMEONE YOUR AGE.

IDK how old Obi-Wan's Aniclone is, probably physically the same age as Ahsoka?

Per @atagotiak on discord:

Also something something, similarities btw Anakin and Obi-Wan where like. "Am I a parent? That seems uncomfortable, I'm too young to be a dad to a kid this age, I mean I'm cool with being a mentor/caretaker but..."

Obi-Wan can't even sidestep parenthood this time.

"Is Anakin basically your dad?" "Uhhhhhh" [Muffled discussion] "So Obi-Wan is your dad." "Okay!" "WAIT NO I DIDN'T AGREE TO THIS"

Ahsoka: She's stealing my brother, that BITCH. Obi-Wan's Aniclone: new sister new sister new sister gotta make a good impression

Firebird:

I feel like the Sister Squad would make very effective interstellar espionage agents Even like, kind of by accident. They just get encouraged to branch out in their interests and figure out what they want to do with their lives and end up all over the dang place, and since they're all pretty dang competent they tend to gravitate towards Important Positions wherever they end up. Except for one sister who just retires to raise Space Sheep.

I like that in this AU Palpatine is just like "I will create an army of Loyal Murderers who will obey my every whim and also be a big psychological lever on my Other Pet Murderer," and then they all just Baby Duckling imprint on the first Jedi to be nice to them instead and he has to just be like "Wait no not like that."

AND one of them Steals Boba

I want Obi-Wan's Aniclone to start dating Fives. All the sisters judge her for it, because he's a Goof. A very competent, ARC Trooper goof! But a goof.

Not as goofy as Anakin, though.

Firebird:

Who expects a clone of Anakin Skywalker to not make questionable lifelong romantic choices impulsively?

[ronpatrash]

oh boy i am gonna talk about my experience with danganronpa v3 and the ending. tldr i loved it and am incredibly haunted by it! now where do i begin

First off, if you wanna get your friends into danganronpa, stream the game on sporadic discord/zoom calls with everyone (my friends and i were a group of 5), and get everyone to narrate the characters. trust me. It may take you guys months but prolonging it makes the brainrot last longer! It's crazy how quickly we formed attachments to the students too because we're all having fun with these destructive teenage characters, and we all get to hang out and goof around again like we did in college irl before early 2020 went down

did i also mention drv3 is my introduction into this bonkers series? yea. what a great way to start! I was really rooting for kaede from the start....after class trial 1 i was hooked on the series and then prozd and jay started their dr1 playthrough, so it was a great time to get started on hyperfixating on this series in may.

also after class trial 1, i went on the danganronpa wiki page so i could read more about kaede. No new fan...should do what i did. i read like one sentence about everyone's memories being fabricated and i just. stopped and tried to purge it from memory cause i really didnt want to get spoiled further ahjfjdjfdkj

also do not look up their sprites on the wiki page, or google i guess. i looked up tsumugi and.

right there. it was unavoidable. i knew tsumugi was the mastermind and had to try purging that memory too. fortunately, it happened to most of my friends too while they were looking for refs of tsumugi to draw hAHA

so. by the time we finished class trial 5 (and ho fucking boy. class trial 5 took us till 3am on a weekday cause we all desperately wanted to know who the fuck was in that exisal and what really happened), I had known these spoilers:

- everyone's backstories are fake, flashback lights created false memories

- rantaro's title is the ultimate survivor (idk. what it really meant. i just thought he was like bear grylls or smth)

- tsumugi is the mastermind

we were all already playing along that tsumugi was the mastermind and calling her out on her pretend bullshit during investigation for chapter 6, it was very fun

class trial 6...we were all already unsurprised when tsumugi revealed herself to be junko. but we didnt expect that she was still,,, cosplaying. we didnt expect the entire thing to be cosplay, or the previous dr games to be fictional within this fictional universe...or that everyone pregame were volunteering themselves for this truman show killing game.....or the whole undertale-esque breaking the 4th wall gameplay. that was siiiick all of that was so fucking cool

anyway. danganronpa v3.......what a nice send-off. I feel like the ending was a warning for fans who get too immersed in any form of media, but it kinda makes it funnier to think about pregame characters now. they were all huge weebs!!!!! they might've been wanting to throw away their lives cause they needed an escape! the ending leaves a lot to think about too, like how shuichi, maki and himiko are gonna cope with the knowledge that everything they thought they knew and were was a lie. i wanna draw...so much fanart. i get why people love this series now.

cant believe i thought danganronpa series was a meme cause of all the komaeda x sans memes my friends were sending. this series is great. drag more of your friends into it tbh, but uh. make sure everyone's like college-age lmao be safe with this heavy stuff

[sunnysviolin]

Have you thought or done anything like a royalty au or something like that? Idk, the royal life brainrot is on rn and I thought what would it be like if the Omori cast was in that setting too

I have thought about royalty au before!! We talked about it very briefly in discord but I do want to go into this a bit more most definitely!!!

Hero is the responsible eldest prince who knows that he will become King one day and Kel is the goofy second son who isn’t as concerned because he knows he’s never gonna have to worry about that

They have a small but loyal kingdom. Their father is a just king who is raising a just heir, so the people are content. His father often brings Hero on walks around the kingdom so they know their subjects and the problems they face. 

Hero spends hours and hours studying and learning the other members of fellow royal families. He has never been skilled in jousting or any physical sporting event, but he is fairly gifted in music. She strong arms their father into keeping Kel and Hero both in music education.

His only escape is when he can go to music lessons. Hero gets to take off his crown (metaphorically of course) and just spend time getting lost in the strings of a lyre and the lute. It doesn’t hurt that the daughter of the minstrel is...well she’s fascinating. 

Mari’s father is the minstrel and Mari is minstrel in training. She’s brilliant and charming and Hero grew up alongside her. The minstrel has always been close with the royal family, but Hero and Mari connect on another level. They have a forbidden love. They sneak kisses when no one is with them, and she writes songs to him that she pretends are just to her “muse”

Hero would tell his father about her, he wants to badly, but she tells him no. Because Hero is supposed to marry a princess, he’s almost engaged in fact. His mother had been holding off on it, but there’s a good match that would benefit both kingdoms that’s come up, and Hero and Mari are sure they’re going to be forced apart any day now

Leave it to Sunny and Kel to expose them. 

Sunny and Kel are best friends. Yes it’s a little unconventional, but it doesn’t hurt anyone, and besides no one really pays much attention to what Kel does besides Hero. That is when Kel isn’t causing trouble. Which he is. Frequently. 

LMAO NO ONE LOOK I LEFT A GAP

But!! Kel and Sunny are goofing off and messing around and they accidentally break one of the very important vases in the castle

The head ladies maid sees them do this and she chases them and promises to catch them and give them the punishment of a lifetime. They run into the music room where Hero and Mari were...and well....yeah the ladies maid definitely starts up a massive gossip chain about the daughter of the minstrel and the prince

Hero’s parents initially dismiss their minstrel and his family and have Hero barred from seeing her. Banned from even leaving the castle in fact. He’s just stuck in his room pretty much. Kel feels awful and definitely blames himself for his brother’s unhappiness

It’s a pretty dark time, but Hero and Mari manage to get letters to one another through the children of the baker. He gives his notes to Kel who gives them to the two twins who bring fresh bread to the castle each morning. Then they give the letters to Mari who gives them her own in return. 

I definitely haven’t thought about what makes them change their minds...I will have to flesh that out BUT yada yada Hero and Mari are back together and they make Mari an official princess of the kingdom who is betrothed to Hero. 

Sunny goes from being just a second son minstrel to being a member of the royal family He isn’t made a prince (even though Hero offers to make it official when he’s made King) because he doesn’t want to do that. He ends up becoming the keeper of the library, because he’s a big fan of stories and he loves them. It’s perfect for him. 

The people of the kingdom Adore Hero and Mari. Not only did they already like Hero, but Mari is one of them. She is the musical princess, she is beloved by all that meet her, and Hero’s parents know they made the right choice seeing how devoted their subjects are to the new match.

This is total sidelines, but I might talk more about them if other people like this AU. Anyway, Aubrey is the witch that lives in the woods next to their kingdom

Basil is a dragon that Sunny and Kel bring home one day. Hero and Mari’s parents are horrified. Mari and Hero are intrigued. Basil is a frighten. 

I like this AU so much! I usually am not a big fan of like very out there AUs....*hides Mafia AU*  but I really like this one! I might write more about it (and fix the gaps) if people like it

[onlyplatonicirl]

Bro, I never have any clue what’s going on, but seeing the chaos that is your blog (and Discord) makes me smile. I just really appreciate seeing you and your followers having a great time ^^ Just wanted to pop in to remind you that you’re just a really stellar being, and I look up to you because you’re just such a chill, fun person. Thanks for being you! (If that comes off weird, I’m sorry ;~;)

Bro????hhfjgjdh?????? Hdjfoeofjdneowkfneksksk?????

You are literally so sweet HHHHHHHHH-

I love all my followers and all the interaction I get and I love goofing off with my friends on discord and I love making creative things and I love reading and look at other people’s creative works and I love seeing people tell me that I made them happy/inspired them/made them laugh Bc it makes me feel like I did something meaningful and also I love you very much

Idk how much coherent sense this makes or how appropriate of a response this is to ur ask but it’s 1 am and I just feel like I’m drowning in a puddle of my tears as little heart emojis pop up over my head and I don’t know how to convey my emotions thru text. Bc I’m a baby.

But I love you so much and this comment meant a lot to me nncmcmvkfkskorjgjdns QmQ💕💞💖💘💗💗💗💘💘💘💖💖💖💞💞💞💕💕💕💕💕💕

[natto-axolotl]

everyone's dojng this so

@aquatic-turquoise - BRO IM NEVER FONNA FORGET JULY WHERE YOU SAID HEWWOW TO ME. YOU WERE THE FIRST ONE THAT FALKED TO ME IN SHMEEPS AND IM NEVER GONNA FORGET THAG. YOURE SO FUNNY AND AWESOME AND JUST A GREAT FRIEND OVER ALL GODSPEED YOU FUNKY KATSUMA

@jackie-from-the-seafloor - BRO BRO VRO VRO VRO!!!!!!!!! I LOOKED HP TO YOU REALLY EARLY ON AND NOW THAT WERE IN THE GC AND GOOFING OFF IT FEELS LIKE A FEVER DREAM!!!!!!! YOURE SO NICE AND FUNNY AND I REMEMVER BRINGING UP SCP AND TALKING WITH OUT ABOUT IT!!!!!!! HAVE A GREAT UCKING NEW YEAR YOU TIMETRAVELLING LOBSTER

@jsab-fujii - YOU :thot:. BRO IM NEVER GONNA FORGET WHEN I POSTED TAYLOR AND YOU REACTED THAT WAY YOU MOTIVATE ME TO KEEP DRAWING JSAB SHIT AND GOOFING OFF YOURE SO FUNNY AND CHILL AND YOURE ALWAYS A SHOULDER TO CRY ON ITS INSANE HOW AWESOME TOU ARE SO HAVE A HAPPY FUKEING NEW YEAR YA SWUARE (hugs you)

@pixxstix - PIXSTIX YOU WONDERFUO GREMLIN (HIGHFIVES AND GIVES YOU CANDLE) PLAYING SKY WITH YOU IS SO FUCKING CALMING AND NICE AND EVEN AFTERR SHIT WENT DOWN THE SQUAD'S STILL TOGETHER AND WERE GONNA BE OKAY!!!!! YOUR ORIGINAL SHIT IS SO INTERESTING AND I CANT WAIT TO SEE WHERE IT GOES!!! SO (holds your hand and jumps into GW spiral) HAPPPPY NEWW YEAAAARRRRRRE

@pure-innocent-disaster-two - KATE KATE KATE KATE KATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOUR JSAB SHIT IS SO FUCKING INTERESTING ANF COOL AND EVEN THEOUFH THE AAAU IS PROBABLY DEAD IT WAS STILL SO COOL ANDDRAGGED ME INO ACE ATTORNEY!!!!!!! PLAYING SKY WI TY YOU IS ALSO JUST SO CALMING AND NICE AND FLOAING ABOUT GW.....SHIT MAY HAVR GONE DOWN BUT WERE STILL IN ONE PIECE AND THAT'S WHAF MATTERS!!! SO GO, ONWARDS TA LITTLE MUSIC NOTE!!!! HAPOY 2020!!!!! (hands u a candle)

@myserbale - MYS YOU FERAL GREMLIN,,,,,,YOUR ART IS HONESYLY SO GOOD AND MAKES ME GO HHHHHHHH AND IM STILL IN SHOCK YOURE A PART OF THE SKYSQUAD,,,,,,YOURE AMAZING AN HILARIOUS AND (HANDS YOU A CANDLE) WE ARE BROS....ONWARDS FLOOFBALLL

@nontoxic-markers - KNIGHT (GRABS YOU) BRO YOURE SO COOL!!!!!!!!!!! IVE SAID THIS IN MY RB BUT ITS BEEN A YEAR SINCE I FIRST DISCOVERED JSAB AND I CANNOT VELIECE THAG SIMPLY FINDING A FUNKY GAMR WOULD LEAD TO BEING INA GC WITH YOU AND EVERYONE ELSE JSUT HHHHHHHHAGAFSGAFSGAFSGSVSVS BRO YOURE AMAZING.,,,,,,NEVER EVER EVER FUCKING FORGET THAT!!!!! HAPPY NEW YEARS TWINK

@nebulanudibranch - NEBI WHERE THE FUCK DO I EVEN BEGIN I ONLY GOT TO KNOW YOU RECENTLY BUT HOLY SHIT YOURE SO NICE.....WATCING EPITHET ERASED WAS THE BEST CHOICE IVR EVER MADE AND WE JUST GOOFED OFF AND DRAGGED EVERYONE ELSE INTO IT!!!! YOUR ART IS SO PRETTY AND ICONIC AND ID JUST CRY BC YOU'RE SO NICE AND THE ANON ASK HAPPY NEW YEAR YOU FUNKY NUDIVEANCH!!!!!

@sol4r-eclips3 - BRO YOUR ART AND CHARACTER DESIGN IS SLAPPING AND THEYRE SO FUNA ND UNIQUE I LOVE THEM ALL SM,,,,,,,,,YOURE REALLY FUNNY AND ID REALLY LIKE TO GET TO KNOW YOU BETTER!!!! HAPPY MEW YEAR YOU SHAPESHIFTING VOID CREACGER

@hexaforce678 - HEXAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BRO YOUR COMICS ARE SO COOL AND UNIQUE AND YOURE JUST SO FUN TO HANG OUT AROUND AND TALK TO AND ID LAY MY LIFE DOWN FOR KEVIN!!!!!!!!!! I CANT WAIT TO SEE YOU NEXT DECADE MAN!!!!!!!

@charmed-wonder - CHARMED TOU FERAL WONDER!!!!!!!!!! YOUR ORIGINAL STORY IS SO COOL AND I REALLY WANNA SEE MORE OF IT!!!!! YOURE AN ABSOLUTE CRACKHEAD IN THE GOOD WAY AND SO FUNNY AND WONDERFUL TO TALK TO SO HUA!!!!!!

@rhyth5 - RAYNE FIRST OFF YOUR ASKBLOG WAS ALSO ONE IF THE FIRST AND IT WAS AWESOME,,,,,,YOURE SO FUNNY AND GREAT TO TALK TO AND ID DIE FOR NEXUS!!!!!! SO HAPPY NEW YEAR KING KNIGHT KINNIE!!!!!!!

@horned-slime - PHALANX!!!!! BRO THANK YOU DO FUCKING MUCH FOR DRAGGING ME INTO GAY ROCK HELL MAN!!!! YOUR ORIGINAL SERIES IS SO DETAILED AND INTERESTING AND HEARING YOU BLAB ABOUT IT US AWESOME!!!!! SO HAPPY NEW YEAR (hands u sourdough loaf)

@mother-of-thots-returns - MOT IVE ONLY KNOWN YOU FOR LIKE A MONTH BUT YOURE SO FUCKIJG SWEET AND NICE AND FULL OF POSITIVITY I CRY!!!!!!!! YOU LIFT RVERYONE UP AND YOURE JUST SO FUCKJGG NF NICE ALRIGHT (SHOVES MY APPRECIATION TOWARD GOU) HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!

@dibphobic - PUR!!!!!! IVE TALKED TO YOU ABOUT OW AND LOL BEFORE AND NOW THAT WERE BOTH NECKDEEP IN SOUPDAD HELL IVE GOTTEN TO KNOW YOU A LOT BETTER AND YOURE JUST SO FUCIJG AWESOME,,,,MPUSE ART SKILLS OK FLEEK!!!! HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

@krys-lil-corner - DRAGON MOM DRAGON MOM!!!!!!!! BRO YOURE ALWAYS A RELIABLE SHOULDER TO CRY ON AND I CANT THANK YOU ENOUGH FOR THAT ;;W;; I CANT WAIT FOR NEXT DECADE AND WHAT IT HAS FOR US!!!!!

LIGHTNING ROUND: @maybeheir @tokyosorbet @apollysabyss @chiramire @tiny-airman @bihet-trendrr @dolleroo @iscaredspider , THE ENTIRE HELL SERVER I OWE YOU MY FUCKING LIFE, ENTIRETY OF NTM Y'ALL ARE CRACKHEADS AND ILY, SHAPES AND PEETS EVERYONE THERE IS HELLA AWESOME, ISCA'S SPIDERWEB, AND THE EPITHET ERASED FAN DISCORD

IM SO SO SO SORRY IF I MISSED YOU, BUT JUST KNOW THAT YALL ARE THE NICEST FUCKING PEOPLE IVE EVER MET AND IDK WHERE I'D BE WITHOUT YALL,

SO HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! TO A NEW START IN 2020!!!!

[patchdotexe]

So, I have a character who is a system, and I wanted to know before I develop them further, how does DID work, from a personal account? I really really really don't want to accidentally create yet another TOXIC misinterpretation of a real condition (because I know how horrible that can feel), and I hope I'm not saying anything wrong even now. (P.S. I love your blog, but I'm too shy to come off anon.)

hey anon!! it means a LOT to me that you sent this message :D theres a lot of really messy-bad potrayals of DID in the media so seeing people actually going to the effort of asking systems abt their experiences is really heartwarming for us. (plus the fact that ppl keep asking us in specific abt system stuff omg,,)

im gonna preface this by saying that, in the end, i can only really talk about my own experiences with full confidence. systems can work pretty differently from each other, but this is how we function and also some details ive noticed from system friends + general discussion over the years

so, to start off: Dissociative Identity Disorder is, at its core, your brain trying to respond to trauma in a pretty severe way. that being said there ARE systems that didnt experience severe trauma and still developed, and im not really sure about the mechanics behind that but i find it really cool and it totally exists. im gonna focus on trauma-based systems bc that’s our ~tragic backstory~ and also tends to be what most people opt for when creating system characters anyway, but the only real difference from what i can tell is, uh, a lack of trauma.

I HOPE YOU’RE READY FOR ME TO SAY THE WORD “TRAUMA” A WHOLE LOT JFC

(system friends are welcome to reblog with corrections or added info!!)

anyway. the way your brain responds to things is really weird. if something happens where you’re just, like, completely unable to handle it, like you dissociate yourself so hard because there’s no way you can manage this, your brain has a chance of going “uh… well, fuck, uh” and generating somebody who can manage it. or it might decide to be a dick and take all of the fucky internalized garbage and turn it into a person whose sole existence is to be an asshole. (they have the potential to get better, i think… ours didnt.) honestly theres a bunch of reasons and a bunch of “roles” that could lead to an alter/headmate* forming.

* we use the terms interchangeably depending on mood and whos fronting. i think its supposed to be “alter” is DID, “headmate” is implication that theyre non-traumatic? we like using “headmate” because it brings this fun mental image of us being a bunch of roommates constantly starting shit with each other and goofing off which is pretty accurate about 75% of the time

i keep getting distracted bc my cat is here. this is gonna be fun to go back and edit.

whatever the original situation is, you’re suddenly not alone in your own brain. and it’s REALLY WEIRD. communication was VERY hard. Icarus, our system original, used to do a very “cliche” thing of sharing a journal with their early headmates, where theyd write a sentence and then theyd write a reply (although back then they didnt realize that was a system-related thing and just thought they were having a fun conversation with their ocs. which… they were, just. Actually Talking.) they didnt have any inward perception of themself or their headmates either, so that kinda built up over time (with some help) along with the appearance of our headspace so that there was… actually a location for people to interact in. once they had a better awareness of things, mental communication got a bit easier– its sort of like background chatter really, when everybody’s awake. sometimes i get weird out of context things from Mae yelling at somebody, or sometimes ill be talking to a friend and someone’ll butt in.

when talking out loud, this usually leads to us suddenly stopping and then laughing or going “no!!!”. when on discord and around people who know who we are… well.

speaking of Mae, she’s pretty much my sister. not like… biologically? because i don’t think thats possible for me, but shes kinda literally my “other half” which ill get into later. headmates can have strong attachments to other alters! friends, best friends, family, dating, whatever. they can also do that with people outside the system, and itll be different for each headmate. there’s like 4 people dating Jorb but i just see him as one of my best friends. we’re people and we have complex social interactions that can get to be kind of a nightmare when you’re around a bunch of people who don’t know that you’re Not Leo and that youre suddenly not super up to existing around people in general.

plus even if like… so Jorb’s dating 4 of us like i said, but his relationship w/ each of them is different? Ica is very clingy and likes rambling to him, Summer’s pretty much just always happy to hang out, Mae makes fun of him a lot but in a loving way, and Leo is… kinda “all of the above” because that’s his gimmick. plus even tho a few other alters have a sibling-ish relationship with Mae like i do, usually its just me and Mae that do the “chaos siblings” bit.

the basic system.. thing… is that there’s “front”, which is being in control of the body– so, like, i’m currently fronting/in front, because im the one currently active and using our computer and staring at our cat.– and then theres the headspace, where everybody hangs out when theyre not in front. the headspace itself can differ in style & functionality for each system, and i think theres some systems that dont really have a location at all? but for us its like a full on location where we have individual rooms, places to visit if we get bored while away from front, etc.

theres also like, being at/near/away from front? so currently im in front, but Leo is pretty much always lurking nearby if he’s awake (we have individual sleep schedules that dont always sync up to the “irl” one, Trust is almost always sleeping), Ica’s somewhat in the back talking to Rookie so i cant really make out what theyre saying (its probably about either a youtube thing they both like or about a comic they want to do), and everyone else is either asleep (in which case they could be nearby but i cant currently “ping” them, so id have to actually take a sec to ground myself in headspace more) or in a different room. communication is easier if im in front and somebody is nearby, or it can be like with Ica rn where im like “well, theyre talking, but i have no idea what theyre saying and am making a guess based off their usual interactions”, or i could pass off front to go talk to Ica and come back (in which case my memory would be kind of vague and weird because information doesnt always properly translate), oooor i could actually go bug them while still in front. which.. im not gonna do rn bc then id get super distracted.

switching front differs between systems a lot! and even varies from day to day. like there are days where we wake up and we have absolutely no idea who we are bc we went to bed as one person and woke up as another. or we could be talking to somebody and then realize “wait, i stopped being Leo a bit ago, who am i”. or we could pass off front to somebody, like if Summer really wanted to front sie’d run up to me and let me know and we’d swap. or if something critical happens (usually a breakdown), Leo or one of the other headmates that’re more built to handle stressful situations will literally drag somebody out of front to make sure they dont hurt themself. or sometimes we throw front at people unexpectedly, like either mid-breakdown where we go “okay i dont wanna be here anymore, tag youre it” or sometimes because we think its funny because its the metaphysical equivalent of getting clonked in the head with a dodgeball, except the dodgeball is “being in control of our shared physical form”. usually mae’s the one that does that lmao

there’s a couple major categories of how alters come about. there’s “walk-ins”, where they kinda just… appear externally? like they just show up. sometimes we get a feeling of “huh. i think somebody might be here? or somebody might be showing up soon.” and have to rummage around for a while until they approach us or we find them. our walk-ins aren’t like, inherently aware of system stuff at first, so they usually get a crash course before they first front (if they choose to front at all) and it can be kinda entertaining. Rookie’s a walk-in! also Hiro, from a couple years ago. most of our walk-ins are fictives (fictional characters, usually appearing in response to us getting extremely attached to something or somebody) but a couple of our trauma splits are also fictives so that’s not like, a Rule or anything. i think these are mostly associated with non-traumatic systems but we get em fairly often so man idk

theres also… uh, i dunno what theyre actually called? we used to call them “constructs” but that sounds kind of mean. these alters exist to fill a specific role! and we usually dont talk about them on here with the exception of one major one, they just kinda hang out. Dhe exists to keep the system stable and manages the “backend” so to speak. Imp is kind of a mix of our intrusive & impulsive thoughts that came about from us trying to separate ourself from them so that we had an imaginary entity to go “nope!” at, which… stopped being imaginary, and is now a gremlin that lives in my brain. they can show up in response to trauma but arent split off of somebody, they kinda just pop into existence to help manage things.

the more… well-known, i guess? alter origin is “trauma splits”. rather than “just showing up one day with no real connection to the system origins”, trauma splits are formed when somebody in-system, uh, splits. it could be in response to a single situation or something built up over a long time, but somebody just kinda breaks and somebody new that has a bit of the original alter’s identity (if kinda influenced by the situation) shows up.

this can vary. All is a trauma split off of Leo himself, who got saddled with all of our brain hell about our ex and their insystem appearance is influenced more by eir than by leo which is… something they struggle with. Mae has a trauma split from a similar situation that is “Mae but from 2 years ago”, so basically her old identity before she reworked herself after getting put through total hell. and then uh… then there’s me and Mae! Icarus quite literally exploded into several people, with Pat (me) and Mae being the most distinct ones. we’re STILL finding out alters used to originally be a part of them that later evolved into their own people, like Summer and Toby. my identity is shaped pretty heavily not just by who Ica was at time of splitting, but also what they wanted to be jumbled together with trying to rationalize what was happening to them (they’re a pretty big fan of megaman star force, which has a media-typical system in it, so they leaned into hard “its like pat and rey from mmsf! i like pat, i wouldnt mind being like pat, its scary but im like one of my current favourite characters” and so i ended up being like, half-weird shapeshifter, half-green-haired prettyboy. and yeah thats where my name comes from!)

(Ica got put back together w/o anybody needing to integrate, which we were all very scared about, and it’s still kind of surreal to me because… me and Mae used to be able to stick ourself back together and thats how we found out about what happened to Ica in the first place? and we havent tried that since bc we have no idea what would happen. Ica 2: Ica Harder?)

despite their origins, trauma splits can be way more than… being a split. :V;; Toby’s not just a tiny splinter of Ica, he’s a quiet guy that gets stressed out and isn’t totally sure how to interact with people. i’ve existed for like 7 years at minimum and im a totally different person than i was when i thought i was still Ica, ‘cause ive had time to grow and change (and a problem Ica keeps running into now that theyre back is… they kinda Didn’t change because they were MIA for 6 years.) like everything else though this is variable– there can be “temporary” splits that dont develop properly and might get integrated back in, which has only happened to us when we were at the lowest point in our life where we were stuck constantly splitting to try and cope with whatever the hell was going on.

so Ica was gone for 6 years, which meant our system was without an original or main– there wasn’t anybody to be head of the system, basically. for a while i was operating under the assumption that i was Ica, so i filled in that role for a few years before i made the realization. eventually i kinda… stopped being able to, though, bc of stability issues, and then we were back to not really having a proper main anymore. to make up for it, we started going by Leo collectively and kinda… trying to pretend to be a single person? and so that ended up creating a construct to fill the role of “system main and the person we pretend to be when passing as singlet/not a system”: Leo himself! he’s kinda the most prominent traits we all have in common rolled into a single guy, which means that not only is he a pretty good system representative but we can also pretend to be him pretty easily (unless it’s someone like Toby who acts totally different). i dont know how common this situation is, i think normally it’s just “if system original is gone, another alter steps up” like originally happened to us before i had a severe case of problems disorder.

uhhh this is very rambley bc there’s a Lot to cover and now im trying to figure out how much of it i HAVE covered. systems are complicated and weird! OH WAIT okay i have one last bit.

so like, for us, first realizing we were a system was total hell. we fought a lot. as more alters showed up through various means, there were times where Ica felt like they were completely out of control of their own life bc of having to manage everything. there were a lot of panic attacks of people fronting and not being sure they were even REAL, despite… being in front. but we still felt like we were deluding ourself. this was in, like, late 2011, so systems weren’t a THING. they were a very fringe community that everyone hated. we got constantly harassed, which only fed into Ica’s panic hell and our identity issues. interpersonal relationships became a nightmare, especially because we have BPD as well which varies in severity for each of us but… for me it’s pretty bad! there were times early on where every day was another fun new breakdown from us arguing with each other or our friends or not being understood or… etc.

so… how are we holding up ~7 and a half years later? pretty well, actually! we talk to each other. we do things for each other, like buy food or games we know specific headmates like. Ica is back and way happier than they were in 2011, and is thrilled to get to hang out with everybody that’s showed up since. we help each other through problems, because at the end of the day our system ended up being a support network. Ica couldnt function on their own, so we’re like… 10+ people working together to try and be a single functional person. and we feel pretty okay with that! we still fight, and we still start shit, but we’re not in constant crisis anymore. we’re still working through all of our trauma, especially the more “recent” stuff that kinda broke our system for a while until we were able to start rebuilding, but we’re doing it together. :D

so… yeah, it can start out as a stereotypical “nightmare system”, with constant infighting and toxicity and self-sabotage and etc. but we worked through it! it took a while, but we’re overall more stable than we were before. we got out of the bad environment that was fucking us up, we got mental help for our other brain hell (we havent been able to bring up the system to our therapists bc its literally a non-issue now and we focus more on other things like our depression, anxiety, PTSD, etc), we found people that support us for being us, and we were able to like… figure things out. and it was a mess! i still have issues about my own identity because of literally thinking i was someone else for two years. Ica’s still trying to figure out how to adjust to things, especially bc they missed our entire “cringe culture” phase so they came back to find that i’d dismantled a lot of their middle-school settings. and, uh, some of their friendships as well.

systems are fuckin weird

[iesharael-blog]

Tell me what is a kiss?

Tell me what is a kiss?

I run away in bold defiance

To jump in leaves with my silly prance

What could be more fun that this?

With just a touch my fears dismiss

You hold me there while leaves dance

Your gentle eyes a welcome trance.

In the moment I feel only bliss

Now my heart you must dismiss.

An emptiness brought by your distance

Leaving nothing but stories to reminisce

Though through this pain I must ask this.

I wonder if given a second chance

Could you tell me again what is a kiss?

************************************

(Posted on mobile and I have no clue how to format things)

Little bit of background. This is the story of my first kiss. [brackets mean info I learned later]

I met my first love in college in a web design class on Halloween. I was dressed as a cat with a sexy black lace shirt and black pants with booties and a zipper belt. Teal ears and tail and gloves with matching sparkly nail polish. I even wore eyeliner that day. Then I saw him dressed as a Victorian vampire, top hat and cane and all.

I’d been crushing on him since freshman year (I spent every class we had had together that year trying to get him to notice me by asking him tons of questions, sometimes repeating). However, at the end of our first year we both won an award for being top of our degree and I saw him there with his girlfriend... tbh they were cute. Fast foreword bought a year and a half later Halloween night I’m top of the world and the online “fwb/boyfriend/idk what he was wanting us to be” was messaging me pics of all you can eat shrimp.

When it was my turn to display whatever the teacher wanted us to display on the board I decided I’d had enough and threw on the flirt. I made sure I was hella appealing as I walked past this boy from my seat in the back while he was on the second row and made my coding funny. Then as I walked back I talk to him about a part of his costume I’d picked out while I was up there, a big silver necklace with a giant fake red stone. [he thanked the friend who bought it for him cause it helped him meet me.]

I stood there and we talked and eventually I told him I’m going to move my stuff up to the front and annoy him and he has no choice. (The class was like 1/4 full so tons of seats) [he said he was so surprised this gorgeous girl was talking to him and wanted to keep talking to him he would do whatever it took to keep going.] I move up and we talk and I play rebellious and goof off on my laptop during class. Eventually my fwb guy stops sending me shrimp and randomly tells me I should forget about him and move on. So I did.

After class we walk out together and sit on a couch in the lobby. While he looks something up on his phone I get this huge urge to lean on him... so I awkwardly lay down on the couch with my feet off the edge to fight the urge. I was so embarrassed [he told me later he had hoped I would lay on him but realize I was just getting comfortable]. After my parents picked me up we kept taking through discord until on the third day we kinda mutually agreed to date 😊

Fast foreword to next week and he greets me in the cafe when he gets to school and put his arm around me and I’m glowing. I’d never had a boyfriend before. Then he held my hand as we walked to class [he told me my little happy jump when he held my hand was adirable] and as we walk between the building I spotted a pile of leaves and ran away from him to jump in it. As I’m jumping around in it laughing he wants over and hugs me to him and I wrap my arms around him. He jeans his head into mine and goes for a kiss and I flinch back not understanding at first so he does a little chuckle and tries again and this time I go for it. Standing there I felt like that scene in amazing world of gumball where he and penny hold hands and everything around them becomes universe. [he told me that my little jump and running to the leaves so happy, I was too cute to not kiss] my heart pounded as we walked into class hand in hand.

************************************

We broke up because of some issues and I think I mentioned them on my random blog posts but the biggest one seemed to be that he was worried that him heightening my emotions was not healthy for me and causing some bad things to happen. At the time he said we might get back together in the future but today we tried to play darksouls together after like 1 week of talking after a month of silence and he quit after less than 10 mins.

I know he’s hurting rn cause of things outside of me, some that he’s told me and some he hasn’t. I don’t think he wants to get back together, I think he’s afraid to. I don’t think he’s ever had an ex that wanted to stick around. But when we sat on that same couch again last Wednesday after our last class together and talked... everything still felt natural.

I don’t know where my life is going or his and I know this was more ramble than anything else but it feels good to share. I’m in love, it’s march 17th as I write this and we broke up December 19th. But I fell in love with him as he held me in his arms during a panic attack on our first date November 11th. He’s special, I know it.

[nagichi-boop]

🐌, 🌼 and 🐛. I know these questions are in a row but they're what I'm most curious about!

SJKSJSKS THANKS FOR THE ASK!!

Uhh this ended up super long sooo it’s all answered in the read more.

🐌 - What’s your favourite holiday episode?

Uhhh great question. Probably Luna Eclipsed? I don’t really have a strong affection for the holiday episodes but Luna Eclipsed is fun. :)

🌼 - What’s your favourite MLP song?

Huh, great question…imma list a bunch. (These aren’t in order btw)

1. Ballad if the Crystal Ponies - Idk if this song is actually good, but I started MLP just before season 3 aired, so I remember this song making me excited for the new season when I was younger.

2. Babs Seed - Bad episode but CATCHY SONG WITH CATCHY VIDEO!!

3. Hearts as Strong as Horses - Another catchy song. My critiques are boring sorry

4. Glass of Water - So chaotic and fun. <3

5. Goof Off - This song is so upbeat, chaotic and catchy. Seeing real life footage was weird and then Cheese Sandwich stealing Pinkie’s song? So good. Rip Rainbow Dash tho.

6. Light of Your Cutie Mark - Another episode I didn’t really like but I love the harmonies at the end. Especially when the CMC say “there’s another way”, like it sounds so good to me.

7. A Changling Can Change - Tfw tiny dragon stands up against a group of soldiers, two alicorns and two powerful unicorns to tell them to stop being r*cist. (Okay but like Spike is softly begging a room of adults not to kill his friend. Spike is a champ.)

8. I’m the Friend You Need - I never watched the movie but I’ve seen enough clips that I’ve basically watched. Anyways, cat man is so smooooth. I’d trust him- /hj

9. A Kirin Tale - I love Autumn Blaze. She’s so chaotic. Idk, I just think this song is neat.

10. Welcome to the Show - Honestly I love all of the Dazzling’s songs. They’re all so amazing. I’m sort of indifferent to the mane six’s part.

(This was a good excuse to just listen to a bunch of songs. I like a lot more of them like the BBBFF Reprise and Play Your Part, but I tried not to list them all cuz like…that would be so much stuff to read lol.)

🐛 - Who’s your favourite villain?

The Dazzlings!! I loved how creepy they were and how they almost defeated the mane 6. They managed to actually get them to argue. If it wasn’t for Sunset, the Dazzlings would’ve been able to win. And even when they rallied together, they still pretty much won. It was only because Sunset stepped up that they failed in the end. (I didn’t rly like them when they appeared in some of the animated shorts but oh well.)

From the actual series, I really liked Discord, mostly when he reappeared the second time. Him messing with the mane 6 and making everyone question his intentions was great. And then he kept making everyone question whether he was actually on their side.

I also liked Chrysalis the first time she appeared but I think they ruined her. She was quite an interesting villain cuz her motives were about providing for her subjects. Plus I watched a theory video that I thought was cool about she could’ve been a jerk on purpose to isolate Twilight and get rid of her as a threat, that she only failed in the end cuz she didn’t realise that Cadence and Shining Armor could use love. Everyone was tied down and the Elements of Harmony weren’t there, so it was reasonable to assume she’d won.

Sorry if I wrote too much. I don’t get to talk about mlp. Feel free to send more questions. But if not, I definitely enjoyed the distraction and now I’m just listening to mlp songs lol.

[mmakehappy]

2017

1. What did you do in 2017 that you’d never done before? i’ll try to do this chronologically again: so at the beginning of january one of my best friends left to study abroad in rome which was sad and i missed her a lot. i saw rory scovel do stand up. i took an animation class which was fun for the first few weeks until i failed it lmao. actually my classes from jan to march did not go so well tbh but whatever i made it through. my sister came to visit me the weekend before st paddys day which was super fun and then we saw panic which was soooooooo fuckin rad i love them still wow! i went home for spring break and visited a local winery w my dad which was a lot of fun and then a week later uhhh me and @carrot-gallery became gfs!!! and my whole frickin life changed bc i love her so much wow!! but then a week after that i turned 22 and spent my birthday alone! which i tried to pretend didnt make me sad but by the end of the day i was very sad about it and thats when my sweet gf called me to sing happy birthday and i sobbed on my couch and ill never forget that!!! so okay then spring quarter classes started and i was a part of depaul’s visiting artist series which was super cool... i met a lot of new awesome people (both at depaul and the industry ppl that were our guests!) and made some great friends in that class! i was a house manager and camera op which was super fun. i went to a screening of my fave professor’s short film which was also rad. i saw a ghost story at the chicago critics film festival, which was amazing. i saw idiocracy in 35mm and then mike judge did a q&a! the very next day i was house manager for depaul’s student film festival at the music box! i saw chris gethard do a live recording of beautiful/anonymous and then also do some standup, that was awesome. i saw day wave live!!! amazing! i spent an entire dystopian day dealing with megabus. that was hell! i sat at an outdoor amphitheater and even tho i couldnt really see him i got to listen to seu jorge sing david bowie covers and life was magical for a few hours. my sisters came up to visit me and we saw aladdin the musical and had our minds blown, it was soooo fun! i went to the chicago pride parade for the very first time but i went by myself and at one point i was sitting on the curb just crying! not a high point but still memorable. i won a ticket to an advanced screening of the big sick where kumail & emily were there to do a q&a after the movie.... had a fuckin blast OBVIOUSLY and then saw the movie 9 other times in various theatres. i also made it into a commercial FOR the movie i just loved it that much lmao! i moved into a new (and my current) apartment! lorde released melodrama and fucking murdered me in my own home. otherwise i had a pretty uneventful but anxiety filled summer bc of financial aid stuff so that really sucked. i saw good time w taylor and the safdie brothers were there to do a q&a and they were such interesting guys i could listen to them talk for hours honestly. my mom and sisters came up to visit me and we took our mom to her very first cubs game which was sooo so much fun and they won that day too!! it was awesome and we had a great time :) watched the eclipse (or tried to anyway!!) fall quarter classes started and i honestly kicked ass at them, i got on the deans list (i almost typed honor roll lmao i mean its basically the same) i hung out with ari again which was cool!! we went to the aquarium! me and taylor saw beach fossils which was honestly the most buckwild concert ive ever been to i think, it was good shit. i got jobs at AMC (which i have since quit lmao) and starbucks and left my job at the paint place which was bittersweet! me and taylor saw mbmbam live!!! so fun!! and we watched trolls that night and goofed on it so hard!! i went home for thanksgiving and found out my big sister is gonna have a baby this year!! :D i saw mike birbiglia do stand up! which was soooo incredible of course (except i felt bad bc my mom was supposed to come w me but she couldnt go! so i brought taylor lol) UMMMMM MY DAM GIRLFRIEND CAME TO CHICAGO TO VISIT ME AND STAYED FOR A WHOLE DANG WEEK AND IT WAS THE BEST THING EVER SHE MAKES ME SO HAPPY WE HAD SO MUCH FUN AND I MISS HAVING HER RIGHT NEXT TO ME EVERY SINGLE GOSH DANG DAY <3 ;_____; and that was my year!!

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year? last year i said id like to read at least one book each month and watch at least 100 movies - i did neither! im keeping the movie resolution though bc cmon 100 movies should be EASY for a film major wtf am i doing!

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? no but it will happen in 2018! 

4. Did anyone close to you die? not a person but we had to put down my sweet doggo, flash :(

5. What countries did you visit? still none :/

6. What would you like to have in 2018 that you lacked in 2017? More confidence that I actually deserve to be in college and that I can do this shit and I’m awesome <– that was my answer from last year and the year before but yeah. same. also money.

7. What dates from 2017 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? ummm march 25 when me and gf became gfs and also dec 17 when she came to visit :)

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? putting myself out there by doing VAS/Premiere, getting on the deans list for the first time since freshman year and then also getting a new job

9. What was your biggest failure? this summer i didnt do shit besides wallow and cry and it sucked!

10. Did you suffer illness or injury? nope

11. What was the best thing you bought? every movie ticket and the bras i bought for natalie ;-)

12. Whose behavior merited celebration? natalie’s because she’s amazing and works so hard!!!! and she can always cheer me up and im so in love w her

13. Whose behavior made you appalled? mine bc i could never just get my shit together and do my homework when i was supposed to :) < thats from last year but lmfao same!

14. Where did most of your money go? RENT, movie/event tix, food, in that order

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? THE BIG SICK, the new season of sv, p much all of the events that i listed in the first question lol

16. What song will always remind you of 2017? umm honestly probably any song from melodrama

17. Compared to this time last year, are you: a) happier or sadder? b) thinner or fatter? c) richer or poorer? I’m a. happier, b. probably thinner? or maybe the same idk, and c. definitely DEFINITELY poorer

18. What do you wish you’d done more of? read and write and watch movies and write and read about movies

19. What do you wish you’d done less of? Spending money and also being bitter about everything for no reason <– last year and the year before that AGAIN and also same!

20. How did you spend Christmas? working at AMC which i hated every second of :)

21. Did you fall in love in 2016? yes with my amazing girlfriend @carrot-gallery

22. What was your favorite TV program? silicon valley, AMERICAN VANDAL, the good place, great british bake off

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year? nah just politicians who like. actively want me to die lol

24. What was the best book you read? bitch,

25. What was your greatest musical discovery? mitski like why the fuck did i sleep on her..... tbh thats about it bc i still listen to the same music i did 10 years ago

26. What did you want and get? I wanted a steadier/better paying job and i have it!

27. What did you want and not get? idk i wanted to be financially stable on my own and i still dont have that

28. What was your favorite film of this year? ugh i hate this question! ok in no order: THE BIG SICK, GOOD TIME, A GHOST STORY, GET OUT, THE FLORIDA PROJECT

29. What one thing made your year immeasurably more satisfying? uhhh having my sweet girlfriend by my side each and every day 

30. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2017? sometimes chic, always sweaty

31. What kept you sane? Sydney, my best friend in the entire world. (This was my answer from last year and the year before that and the year before that AND THE YEAR BEFORE THAT but it still holds true) also everyone in the sv discord chat still AND natalie of course of course

32. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? kumail nanjiani duhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, taika waititi, and martin starr always and probably more but i legit cant think of anyone rn lol

33. What political issue stirred you the most? yikes all of it. all of the issues (this was from last year but same lmao)

34. Who did you miss? i miss my dogs and my family and my girlfriend 35. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2017. You can set goals for yourself and talk about it all you want but it’s nothing until you actually start working towards it and doing something about it. <– answer from last year and the year before that and the year before that, still true!! imma keep that. also idk just like, there are good days and super bad days and ive survived all of them so its just a reminder to myself that ill be okay.

36. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year. These days will all seem better in time Waiting on that hindsight

[patchworktail]

ITS 4:30 AM AND I DONT FEEL LIKE SLEEPING so I’m gonna do this meme that i got tagged for twiCE and totally forgot to do til now!!!! (i had 2 dig through your blogs to find them omg)

ANYWAY i was tagged by both @mooitstimdrake​ and @cynessie​ (I MISS U BOTH BTW ❤)

RULES: Share 11 facts about yourself, answer 11 questions provided by the tagger, tag 11 awesome people and leave 11 questions for them to answer!

(I’m gonna skip tagging people/asking 11 questions - 1) because I’m lazy 2) because a lot of people who I would tag either have already been tagged or woN’T DO IT and 3) I have to answer two sets of 11 questions anyway so I’ll let one of those sets take the place of my 11 questions!!)

11 Facts

I was supposed to leave to move into my college 3 days ago but since my college is in Savannah they pushed off move-in/orientation for a weEK BECAUSE OF HURRICANE IRMA AND I’M STILL UPSET/DISAPPOINTED

That being said I’m about to start as a college freshman at art school, planning on majoring in animation! :D

I binged all of Buzzfeed Unsolved in like 2 days and I fuckin LOVE IT

Also BNHA is like my current main obsession???? I fell in love w that anime and uhhhh I’d Die For My Kids

I almost never use skype anymore - I’m always on Discord now (mutuals may add me just message me if you want my tag :3c)

I loooove creating OCs and my main OC is a forest elf named Rally and he’s precious and I LOVE HIM AND COULD TALK ABOUT HIM FOR HOURS (also my best friend @/harpxer and I have a huge ongoing rp with him and her mountain elf oc, Kahl!! they’re really gay)

Hmmm fun fact I guess I’ve been involved with internet communities since I was 10 years old and I made my very first internet friend when I was 10 and we’re still great friends and talk p much every day to this day (hi @/fiishr)

I want a tattoo super bad but idk what I’d geT

I worked at a jewelry engraving stand at an amusement park this summer and one night I accidentally gave myself a 1st degree burn on my finger from the hot glue gun and it hurt So Bad

I had my graduation party this July and it was really fun but the best part was when 14 of us played this giant game of spoons and it got really intense, made worse by people randomly screaming during it, and then we collectively decided to blast hardcore rap music from the speakers and Let Me Tell You i have not been involved in a more stressful card game in my LIFE

I’ll always always always fall for the hero/happy character/protagonist basically....idk what it is about me but I’m so Predictable...I love cute optimistic brave characters who just wanna do Right.....I don’t cARE IF PEOPLE THINK THEY’RE BORING I THINK THEY’RE PERFECT AND AMAZIGN AND I LOVE THEM

AS FOR AN EXTRA 12TH FACT ABOUT ME AS U CAN SEE I WRITE WAY TOO MUCH AND ALSO I’M THE BIGGEST OVERSHARER E V E R IT’S SO BAD SOMEONE STOP ME

ANYWAY ONTO THE QUESTIONS :3c

@mooitstimdrake​‘s Questions:

If you were to make a new blog dedicated to one single thing (fandom, hobby/activity, etc) what would it be? Honestly, right at the moment probably BNHA!!!! it’s legit my most recent big obsession and I love it?? so much???

If you could have any kind of animal as a pet, what would you have? A RACCOON!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE THEM SOSOSOSOSOS MUCH and some people actually do have them as pets! They can be difficult though but WORTH IT

Who was your favorite teacher and why were they your favorite? OH BOY......I’m gonna say it’s a tie between my AP studio art teacher and my AP US government teacher from this past year, my senior year! My AP art teacher because our class was super tiny, 12 kids, and it really felt like a family?? She was a-okay with letting us all goof around and say weird shit, she was really chill and funny and like. part teacher, part friend, which was always nice. As for my AP gov teacher, he was SO. FUCKING. FUNNY. OH MAN. NOT EVEN ON PURPOSE he just like? put up with SO MUCH? we had some real character kids in that class and my teacher’s reactions were HILARIOUS. he had a sarcastic streak too so his responses were equally as funny when someone did something weird. He would say the funniest stuff just ask @/harpxer I would tell her so many stories from that class sohboshrb. Aside from the humor that class was really interesting, and he’s a really good, invested teacher - he wanted us to learn, he’s super passionate about government and history, and he always started off each class with 2 current events which was really nice and helped me learn more about things happening in the world too!!! overall that was like my fav non-art class I’ve ever taken!!!!

What’s your guilty pleasure (and I’m challenging you not to say some kind of food)? HMMMMM. Honestly I’m gonna go ahead and say really cheesy or lame movies/shows (like, Disney channel movies, dumb shows - like the one summer I watched all of Glee LOL, stuff like that). Like yeah I know 90% of it is terRIBLE but it’s still amusing/lighthearted stuff that makes me happy KLSDJVLSDHB

Favorite pizza topping? EXTRA CHEESE IF THAT COUNTS, if not then pepperoni!!

What’s the last thing you bought (that wasn’t food)? I’ve actually been buying a lot the past few weeks in prep for college/spending a little money for ONCE since I worked all summer. I got a bunch of boring stuff but the things I’m most excited about are: two posters I got for my dorm (The Office is one and one is Lord Huron), a giant wall tapestry (it’s Up themed!!!), tWO BNHA/POKEMON CHARMS THAT CAME TODAY AND EVERY TIME I LOOK AT THEM I START CRYING BC THEYRE SO CUTE, and oh my GOD I BOUGHT THIS GIANT PILLOW FROM TARGET AND IT IS THE SINGLE SOFTEST THING I’VE EVER FELT AND IT’S HUGE AND IT IMMEDIATELY BECAME MY #1 COMFORT OBJECT AND TOP FIVE FAV THINGS IVE EVER BOUGHT!!!!!! I guess MOST recently though I just bought Clip Studio Paint online today (art program) since it’s on sale for 50% off and I’ve heard great things about it!

What upcoming movies/tv shows are you looking forward to? UHHHHH as for movies... justice league part 1, the incredibles 2, kingsman 2, the neW POKEMON MOVIE I CHOOSE YOU, probably a lot more I can’t remember rn. AS FOR SHOWS HMMM I’m...excited for the next season of the good place and izombie, and oh I’m excited for the punisher netflix show!! and the next season of voltron of COURSE!!! and next season of stranger things!! probably more I’m forgetting too tbh

Any recommendations (this could be anything just throw your best pitch at me)? JFISDJKLBJ I DON’T KNOW OMG tbh rachel you watch a lot of the same things I do already LMAOOO

What’s your favorite thing to wear that you own? OH FUCK I DUNNO HMMM I really like wearing my various leggings and scarves, but as like a Single Item....I like wearing....uhhhh I have this giANT sweater like it’s WAY too big for me but it’s so COMFY and I love it. I also love wearing my Star Labs sweatshirt bc it’s soft and comfortable

What was your first pet? my cat!!! we took her in as a stray kitten living in our backyard when I was like. 2 or 3 and so we’ve basically had her my whole life!!

If you could learn any language, what would it be? UHHHHHH honestly probably spanish - I took it 4 straight years and was okay at it in class but one year went by with me not taking it and I forgot everything LOOOL I’m...bad....at languages....

@cynessie‘s Questions:

Where is the coolest place you’ve ever been? I haven’t been many cool places :( I guess the coolest isssss I dunno it depends? Lake George is where I go on vacation every year, I LOVE NYC, I love Savannah too and it’s where I’m gonna be for college so?? ?? ?  ? I’VE NEVER BEEN OUT OF THE COUNTRY AND I’M SAD BUT I’M POOR AND CAN’T AFFORD IT

What was the first thing you remember wanting to be when you grew up? veterinarian!! 

Look to your right. What do you see? a dirty plate on my desk, my bed just past that, and my CHARMS THAT CAME TODAY THAT ARE SO CUTE I CRY EVERY TIME I SEE THEM

What are you procrastinating on? ajkldjboidj lik e 4 art commissions,,,, and 7 MAP parts,,,, and my pre-work for 2 of my classes,,,,,,,and cleaning my room,,,, and sending thank-you notes to relatives,,, SOMEONE KICK MY ASS AND MAKE ME DO SHIT

Which family member are you closest too and what is their name? UHHHH.... I guess my younger brother Luke? or maybe my mom? I’m not on bad terms with anyone though, I love both my older brothers too and we all have a good sibling relationship I just talk more with my younger bro I think - second closest would be with my second older brother Connor!

What’s the last song you listened to? I’m listening to Ultralife by Oh Wonder right now :3c I’ve been on a huUUGE Oh Wonder kick lately!!

What do you generally carry in your bag/pockets when you go out? my wallet (w my license and money and debit card and all), travel size lotion, phone, and chap stick!!

What is one thing you are excited for? FINALLY GETTING TO COLLEGE NEXT WEEK AND STARTING CLASSES FJIODFHINBDFHBNSBO

Do you believe in ghosts? I’m gonna hesitantly say YES but I’m not 100% convinced I don’t think

What is a skill you want to learn? MAYBE THIS IS WEIRD but I think learning how to act would be kinda neat. On a more realistic note I wish I could learn to exercise without dying

Tell me a joke. I’M BAD AT JOKES DON’T DO THIS TO ME NESSIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SO YEAH THAT’S ALL FOLKS it’s 5am now...Nice..... :’) I love my ability to stay up obscenely late while also getting Nothing Done JLSDNVDHAGHVDLAK

[eludum-a]

500 follower follow forever!

it happened. god knows why so many of you are here, but apparently you like what i do, so... well, thank you! to everyone! but this is a very informal follow forever meant specifically for people i speak to regularly/people i consider my friends/people i feel i owe something to. i haven’t done anything like this since the 100 follower mark, so please bear with me. 

i felt like i needed to do this because, in the wise words of taako the wizard, “it doesn’t always have to be goof goof dildo. i’m traveling around with the boner squad and i never get to say... what i’m feeling! i have emotions!”

if you’re not here, please don’t feel like i don’t appreciate you! i only have the energy for so much love here in my body. if you’ve been inactive/are on hiatus, i might have missed you, and if we haven’t really talked a lot ooc, same thing applies.

(i have been working on this on and off for weeks. im so tired pls just let me be finished with it)

anyway, call outs below the cut!

@unsuspicious: cou, you send me so many baffling and strange images at all hours of the day. i had to lead up with this because where do you even get all those. anyway, you’re definitely the person i talk to the most every day, and it’s weird as shit to think that the last thing in tumblr messenger was me sending you the link to the discord channel. you’re a fantastic roleplayer when you actually roleplay and you’re fun to have around!

@hismalice: raz you are one of my favorite people on this god forsaken hell site and don’t ever forget that. if you need a reminder you can come back here and look at this and see this seal of approval, and also the mental image of me saying “no, fuck you” to your negative thoughts and then punching them in the face heaven slaying dragon fist style. if you ever wanna talk you know where to find me and it’s also ok if you don’t want to!! i’ll still be here regardless.

@cantalazarus: god bless the hinatatas, may they grow strong and powerful this year. amen. on a more real note: this is my official notice that i really appreciate you just... in general, as a person, even if im an asshole who has trouble with, like, Feelings and shit. so there’s that. same as with raz above, you obviously know where to find me whenever you wanna talk. and take as long as you need to recharge your batteries!! no rush

@mxssias: ALEX MY MAN... BOY... GUY! DUDE, PAL, WHATEVER. your naegi is LIT. i love the good good egg boy so much and you do him justice!! you don’t just focus on the lighter aspects of his character, but you recognize his various struggles as well! you’re also just a fun person to talk to and i’d love to do more naenami in the future of COURSE

@ayatsurii the sparkliest of cats! yo, sparkle, thank u for turning me on to pekonami because it’s so good and pure, and thank you also for trying to keep things from burning down in the chat when we get too rowdy (even if you’re not successful... we can’t be tamed). i look forward to future pekonami interactions!

@snappshot: sarah is wonderful at everything she does, sorry i dont make the rules. you’ve been around this blog for what feels like forever now?? first as mahiru (and your mahiru rly captured my heart) but also sayaka and kaede and your persona muses are equally wonderful! idk what i’d have done if you weren’t there to reassure me i was doing a good job. god bless sarah

@anemoia-avenoir / @ongakuvoices: rrrrrrrrIO! you’re lovely and you should know it. i know we don’t really talk much ooc but you definitely deserved a spot in here! your passion for your muses is incredible! your love for them shows in the details of your writing, and i know it can be frustrating sometimes to feel like you’re not good enough (believe me... i have been there many times), but believe me... you’re gonna do amazing things, i just know it.

@malchancevilain YOU STILL OWE ME 15 DOLLARS AND I AIM TO COLLECT, GREG GRIMALDIS. NO MATTER WHERE IN THE MULTIVERSE YOU ARE. ahem. we share a lot of common interests, watchy, and i really do love your luckgami, like, a lot. i love how different his background is without changing who he is fundamentally as a person, aka a snob

@shpionaz: *insert obligatory ‘like a boss’ joke here* ok now that we’ve gotten that over with,,, im so grateful i got a chance to play out the oumanami brotp interactions with you because that was on my wishlist almost as soon as i found out about their sprite similarities and we didn’t even have to try, it just happened. you’re first ouma in my heart forever and i can’t wait to do some things with your oc too!!

@gambogeish: it’s kind of ironic how i didn’t finish twewy until we became friends, when it was first gifted to me by my boyfriend... it’s probably just the difference in maturity/gaming ability from then to now, but ANYWAY: i am so glad to have met you. you’re one of the first people in the community i’ve really connected with, and you’re an awesome person who i’d love to roleplay with regardless of muse. i’ve got a virtual high five right here waiting for you. o/

@pseudxcode syd, god bless your chihiro, honestly. he’s such a sweet little guy and i love his interactions with chiaki! of course i’ve always been a fan of these two together (even when she’s NOT an AI created by him), because their talents complement each other so well! they’re good for each other. i’d love to see more chiaki & chihiro action, especially if it involves chiaki encouraging him and reassuring him that he’s not as weak as he thinks he is.

@kibcu / @krclowa we only recently started talking but you’re such a welcome addition to thotchat, liz! take that as you will. this one’s probably gonna be a bit short but im looking forward to platonic naenami interactions and ur sonia too! aunty nanami’s gonna babysit the hell out of those naegi kids (aka give them all smartphones and sit back and relax)

@synthxsizxr GOOD IDOL, BEST SISTER, AKI LOVES HER HARU even if she really doesnt understand the idol lifestyle like, at all. chi, you yourself are very sweet and kind, it’s wonderful having you here in this community! i hope you’re having a lot of fun with your talentswap chiaki and i hope 

@relixum / @lxckyclovers: i hope you two don’t mind that i put you together here. i know you’ve been busy with school lately (good luck with that, by the way!!) but i didn’t want you to think i forgot about you! you guys make a mom/dad/parental unit so proud. you’re wonderful writers and i hope you find happiness wherever you go. *bob belcher voice* you’re my family and i love you but you’re terrible, you’re all terrible.

@tcndcrloins levi you’re the other constant presence in thotchat and you’re such a fun person to have around. you’re so welcoming and comfortable in a sense that i never feel like i’m bothering you, and thats a pretty incredibly accomplishment considering how often i convince myself im annoying. get those drafts done, i believe in you!!

@delinqueon avery, you were probably the first person within the community i talked to one on one, and thank god you approached me because at that point i never would have had the courage to speak up! your leon is such a delight to interact with and so are your other characters. one day you’ll get me back for making you read the bee movie script out loud for fifteen minutes.... one day

@betraycd last but not least, first i have to thank fin for my current editing software that i still have yet to figure out even 10% of ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) but i’ll get there! fin, i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again: i absolutely adore your souda, all of the time and effort you’ve put into his characterization and how you don’t ignore the uglier parts of his personality. he’s a lovely flawed boy and you really do him justice!

after word:

like any community with more than a few people, there have been ups and downs in the path few months. i wanted to add here as a general shout out that i have never felt so welcome and loved in a community that i originally would have thought would be more disjointed than what you might find on a forum. like, i’ve changed a lot thanks to you guys! i’ve been able to get over some of the hurdles of my social anxiety (i didnt jump over them so much as drag myself across the ground and painfully crawl over them) and i just... i feel good? i feel like people like me? there are still times where my anxiety insists i’m nothing but a useless burden, but i actually... feel like people enjoy having me around? holy shit!

i made some really cool new friends and got to know a different kind of roleplay community. im overall incredibly grateful for this wild and weird journey i’ve been on, and the journey certainly isn’t over by any means! i hope to keep seeing you guys around!

these words really arent even enough to express my gratitude. i havent been to some really dark places, but there for a while i felt like i was almost completely alone. i simply wasn’t connecting with other people like i wanted to. about 3-4 years ago i lost contact with (long story) my roleplay partners of 4 years and it wasn’t an easy thing to recover from, but i’m here now and it’s just... really good! incredible, even!

komussy