#idk I hope what I said is clear but like wtf

[bluewhitehues]

Hug Series/ Drabble

Kim Mingyu× F. Reader

Genre: fluff,a very silly drabble, sulky gyu

"Go to your sidechick" mingyu says teasingly when you're bickering about something. He's sitting on the couch and you on his lap.

"What makes you think you're not the one who's sidechick?" You tease him back raising your eyebrows.

His mouth opens in disbelief and he huffs sulking at you, turning his face sideways not looking at you.

"I'm just kidding you're not. Ok?" You say between laughing.

He still isn't looking at you biggest pout on his face as he huffs again.

You squish his cheeks turning his face to look at you pecking his pout "You're my soul ..the love of my life." And you're giving him the sweetest lovesick smile ever so how can he not melt right then and there.

He tries so hard not to smile at you. He's planning on bantering with you more he won't show it even if he's melting from inside he loves when you two bicker.

"Chan is my homie my bud just like he's yours." You say pinching his cheek.

"Yeah he's my homie but i don't remember having a crush on him ever." He says shrugging, the mischievous look clear on his face.

Your eyes go so wide cause you or him haven't mentioned it since you got in a relationship. You know he's just trying to rile you up and it's not a serious issue to worry about. If he had felt anything about it he would have told you directly you know that.

So you gasp getting up from his lap in flash "it was nice knowing you Kim Mingyu. Divorce papers will be sent through my lawyer." And you walk away turning back from him.

And he's laughing at you. He burst out as soon as you said that. "But baby we aren't married." He says getting up to go to you.

You stop in your track, turning back to face him."Oh I see how it is now ..no no I get what you are saying I guess I'm more serious about you than you are." You shrug

His eyes go wide at that ..even if he knows you're kidding, he'd never show himself as someone who isnt serious about you, cause come on the guy literally breaths you not even oxygen,is so damn whipped for you "Noo. Where I'd go if you divorce me ..please don't " He says now seriously giving you the puppiest eyes ever.

"I guess I can give you a chance if you promise me kisses and hugs to make up for it..also endless cuddles in bed " You say shrugging.

And he's smiling sheepishly before he runs the little distance between you two holding you up in his arms tightly.

"Now that's my pleasure baby." He kisses your cheek and then all over your face.."What about something else in bed too?" He says kissing the corner of your lips then looking up at you raising one of his brows with a smirk. "I like the sound of it." You say. And he's throwing you on the bed gently before getting on top of you to tickle you from both of your sides.

"Oh my god gyu wtf ...I knew it ah stop- gyuuu-" You say in between the laughter trying to hold his hands and kicking him with your feet to push him away from you.

"Gyu please-" You whine while giggling so he stops. He looks at you with heart eyes literally as he hovers above your face.

"I love you "He whispers and you just...melt under him. how can you not. No matter how many times he says it,it still feels like the first time ever ,his love keeps growing and he keeps showing it. "I love you too " You say pulling him down for a kiss. He smiles into the kiss causing you too smile as well. You pull him even closer making him loose his balance and fall over you. "Hey-" he says barely pulling back from your lips scolding you a little but you're giggling throwing your head back and he's laughing all over again slapping your side and then getting beside you on the bed. He pulls you so you're on your side and then he's pulling you flush against him. Claiming your lips again.

a/n: idk what did I write hope you like it.

Boyfriend mingyu missing hours are so opennn😭

Masterlist if any of you haven't read hug series you can find it here. 🫶

[imaginespazzi]

Part 1: Don't Be A Stranger

Masterlist - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7

But if (my) world was ending, you'd come over right?

(In which UCLA anon's roman empire became this writer's roman empire and we've finally reached the beginning)

Pairing: Paige Bueckers X Azzi Fudd

Themes: Angst, Pining, Hurt/Comfort and a little bit of Fluff

Words: 8.4 K (other parts will be shorter....maybe)

TW: Swearing, Alcohol, Injuries, Alludes to Sexual Content

A/N: Hello my lovelies <3 Gonna keep this as short and sweet as possible but we've finally, finally gotten to the UCLA fic. A huge shout out to UCLA anon, because this is their master idea. Couple of things, I've never been to LA or UCLA and therefore some things are out of whack. The timeline is also a little out of whack but I swear I will try to keep it as consistent as possible. In the mean time, just ignore some of the inconsistencies pretty please. As always, feel free to let me know what's bad, what's good and what else you'd like to see. I hope y'all enjoy this first part and let's get another W today!

August 2021

where are you 

i literally have to be at the airport in an hour paige where are you 

dude 

are you on your way?

you better be driving and that’s why you’re not answering 

PAIGE

i’m sorry about last night i shouldn’t have said that 

but you said a lot of shit too so call it even?

this isn’t funny where are you?

i have to leave in 15 mins 

are you actually not coming?

wtf????

this is actually bullshit

get over yourself bueckers 

wow 

fuck you

just landed 

thought you might like to know 

sorry my plane didn’t crash i guess 

September 2021

dude enough okay 

can you just call me back??

i just wanna talk 

i know you're mad i get it but i miss you   

November 2021 

hi i’mma be in dc over christmas

nvm 

idk why i’m trying again  

maybe i should block you 

this is kinda pathetic of me what the fuck 

December 2021

i thought i saw you today but idk

couldn’t have been you cause if it was 

would you really not even say hi?

i’m done trying paige 

merry christmas i guess

March 2022 

i misz you 

lyke a wot

love uuuuu pppppp

even if ur a bwtich 

pkese pick up 

ignore that 

people drunk text exes apparently i drunk text you 

wait 

i don’t need to tell you that 

you already ignore it all anyways

 

August 2022 

i heard about the acl 

i’m sorry 

idk if it means anything, but if you wanna talk

nvm 

***

September 2022 

When the doorbell rings, on a quiet Thursday afternoon during a rare moment of alone time, Paige expects it to be a lot of people. One of her parents deciding that they actually weren’t going to leave her alone. Someone else in her family showing up out of the blue to provide comfort. Maybe one of her teammates popping up to keep her entertained. She even thinks it might be some random fan who got too invested and figured out the address for her air BnB. It’s the saddest testament to how broken they are, that the idea of it being Azzi Fudd standing outside her door, never once crosses her mind. But there she is, when Paige opens the door, dressed in ripped jean shorts and a light blue tank top, the girl that had been her best friend, and maybe a little bit more. 

Silence stretches between them as Azzi fidgets with her hands and Paige continues to stoically stare at her. It’s been almost a year since they’ve seen each other, even longer since they’d last shared a happy smile. And you’d have to go back to before she’d told her about her future plans, to find the last time Azzi had properly looked Paige in the eyes.  

“Hi,” Azzi says finally, mustering up a small smile. Paige doesn’t know if hearing that voice, soft and subdued but still so familiar, fixes a crack or breaks her heart even further. She wills herself to be polite in response, to match Azzi’s polite greeting with a greeting of her own. But there’s clear discord between her mouth and her head, because her words are harsh and hollowed. 

“What are you doing here?”

Azzi swallows, smile disappearing as she immediately digs her fingernails into her palms and Paige feels the guilt settle into her stomach. It’s like the night before all over again. If she closes her eyes, Paige can still hear her voice loudly echoing in Azzi’s childhood bedroom. She can hear the angry words that she’d hurled at her best friend, each one like a well-aimed arrow piercing the other’s girl's heart and tearing into Paige’s own soul. Some would call what she’d done self-preservation. She’d call it her biggest mistake. 

“I um-,” Azzi sucks in her bottom lip, “I was in the area and thought, maybe I’d check in.”

“How did you even know where I was?” Paige hates how cold and accusatory her voice sounds. It’s a version of herself she doesn’t quite know how to deal with, one that hasn’t ever appeared for anyone other than the girl in front of her, “I know I didn’t tell you.”

Any semblance of calm is gone from Azzi’s face, as she seems to realise that she’s not going to be getting any cordiality from her old friend. 

 “And we’re off to a great start,” she mutters under her breath before replying to Paige’s exact question, “no you didn’t. Your dad-”

“You talked to my dad?”

“Yeah. I mean you know Drew looks up to Jon and José so much and they still talk and stuff and he came over- Drew I mean- and then your dad was there and we just got to talking and you came up and yeah. He told me and well I live here, kinda, so I thought- well I thought maybe you’d like some company?”

As Azzi’s rambling explanation comes to an end, Paige doesn’t miss the tinge of hopefulness in her voice at the last bit. The younger girl shuffles her feet, as she stares at the blonde expectantly. 

“I don’t-” Paige struggles to draw in a breath as the voices in her head argue, “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

Her words are met with silence as Azzi stares at her blankly. 

“I- you,” she blinks rapidly, clearly at a loss for what to say at the blatant rejection, “I can’t come in?”

“It’s just- I’ve had a lot of people visit you know,” Paige bullshits, suddenly feeling very exhausted, “and my family were here a couple days and my friends are coming soon and-”

“And I’m neither of those things,” Azzi says, her tone low and breathy. 

“That’s not what-”

“It is,” Azzi closes her eyes for a brief second, when she opens them, the flash of hurt in them feels like a dagger through Paige’s chest, “it is like that and it is what you meant and it’s- it’s fine.”

“Az-” Paige chokes out, feeling her lungs collapse when the other girl moves to leave, “please,” and she’s not even sure she’s asking for, but it’s not this. It’s never been this.

Azzi stops and when she turns back around, there’s a determined look on her face.

“I just-” she rubs her face, composing herself before focusing her eyes on Paige, “you’re the strongest person I know. And you’re going to come back from this, better than ever. I know it. The whole world knows it. Because you’re Paige Bueckers. You’re something else.  You’re the hardest worker, you’re just- you’re the best.”

“You don’t-”

“Just- just let me finish okay and then, then I’ll go or whatever but Paige, you’re all of those things you know? Strong, brave, the best fucking player- but, it’s also okay if sometimes-, if sometimes you aren’t. It’s okay because this- this is hard, I know it is. So if sometimes you’re not strong or-, or brave- or not feeling like working hard- it’s okay. And if there are moments where you- where you want to give up, that’s okay too. It doesn’t make you- it doesn’t make you any less than what you are. It just makes you human, and it’s okay you know- to be human. It’s okay if- if you hurt and it’s okay if you’re not okay. It’s- it’s okay.”

The two girls stare at each other, eyes shining with tears, as Paige let’s Azzi’s words wash over her. She’s been told a lot of platitudes about her injury, from her coaches to her teammates to her family. And she knows she has plenty of people in her corner, who root for her and who genuinely do believe she’ll have the greatest comeback ever. But the motivational speeches get draining after a while and all she’s wanted to do for the last couple of weeks is wallow. Then she felt guilty about wallowing, that little voice in her head yelling at her to be productive and work on getting back to herself because that’s what everybody expected. Paige hadn’t even realised how badly she needed someone to give her permission to not be okay, not until the only person who’d ever known that part of her, had finally said the words she so desperately needed to hear.

The thing is, when she was younger, Paige used to keep everything bottled inside. She’d always been hyper aware of her privilege and her problems had always just seemed so insignificant in front of her parents’ or her friends. So she’d kept them to herself, trapping herself in a web of her own burdens that sometimes threatened to strangle her. And then she’d met a girl at a USA basketball camp when she was 15, a girl who had gently flicked her fingers and Paige’s walls had fallen like dominoes. She hadn’t even known she was drowning, until Azzi had shown up with a lifeboat.

“I just-,” Azzi breaks Paige out of her trance by breaking the eye contact between them, “I didn’t know if anybody had said that to you yet and I just- I wanted you to hear it.”

In the span of a minute, a thousand and one phrases take birth in Paige’s mind and then die on the tip of her tongue. She opens and closes her mouth, trying to express even one of the myriad of emotions that are swirling like a tornado in her brain. But nothing comes out except a litany of incomprehensible noises. And Azzi seems to find the wrong answer in the silence, giving the blonde a timid nod. 

“Take care of yourself P,” her voice catches on the familiar nickname, as she shoots Paige a sad smile, before beginning to walk away. When Azzi chose UCLA, she’d lit Paige's heart on fire. So, Paige had drowned their friendship. And while all this time Azzi has struggled to breathe, Paige has burned but god, is she so fucking tired of it. 

“Fuck, Azzi wait,” Paige curses, hobbling to catch up to the brunette, who stops with a sigh but doesn’t make a move to return. Stubborn as always, Paige thinks, continuing her way over. When she does catch up, she’s not fully sure what to say and so,  “I uh- I’m out of milk.”

Azzi raises her eyebrows in question, crossing her arms protectively around her chest. 

“I can’t drive,” Paige explains slowly, “or walk obviously.”

Realisation dawns on Azzi’s face, “you’re asking me to drive you to the grocery store?”

“I guess,” Paige shrugs, trying to be nonchalant. 

“Seems like the kind of favour someone asks of their family, or their friends,” Azzi emphasises bitterly, never one to let go of an opportunity for sarcasm. 

Paige flinches, “right, I kinda deserved that one.”

She gets a raised eyebrow in response that very much says “ya think?”

“I’m trying here,” she says quietly, and Azzi’s hard demeanour softens, “I’m raising a white flag Az, calling a truce or whatever but it kinda needs to go both ways.” 

“What do you think me coming here was supposed to be?” the younger girl says exasperatedly, but she’s smiling again. It’s the third one Paige has gotten out of her today, and finally, she smiles back. They look a little foolish, standing in the apartment hallway, cheshire-cat-grinning at each other like idiots, but it feels like something has clicked into place again.  

“I’ll go grab my wallet, you go heat up the car.”

“It’s like 110 degrees dude.”

“Bro shut up, you know what I mean,” Paige huffs and when it makes Azzi laugh, she feels like she’s floating. It’s not as if she hasn’t been happy in a year because won’t you look at that, her world did keep turning after that one decision. But this is different. She feels airy and light, like she could jump off a cliff and fly instead of fall. 

“Well hurry up, I have things to do outside of just being your chauffeur.”

“Poor passenger princess, how the roles have reversed,” Paige mocks and it earns her an ever so familiar fond eye roll and for the first time in a year, she feels free. 

***

When she gets downstairs, Azzi’s leaning against her car door, a pair of sunglasses shielding her eyes. The hot California sun shines brightly against her tan skin, and Paige’s heart stutters because fuck, Azzi is golden. She looks every bit reminiscent of the girl Paige still has memorised and yet, every bit the promise of a girl Paige wants to learn by heart. 

“Nice car,” Paige smirks, alerting the younger girl of her presence.  

“It does the job,” Azzi says, looking up with a smile of her own, opening the passenger door for Paige to get in, “not all of us are raking in NIL deals to get the big guns, but we make do.”

“Steph Curry brand ambassador say what now?” the blonde girl teases as she slides into the car. When she looks up, Azzi’s frozen in place, “what?”

“Nothing I just-” she’s wearing sunglasses, but Paige knows Azzi's trying to avert her gaze, “I’m kinda surprised you know that.”

It’s Paige’s turn to look away, their newfound comfort giving away to that old awkwardness, “I keep up with most basketball news.”

To Azzi’s credit she doesn’t push. Instead, she makes her way into the driver seat without another sound. She’s about to connect her phone to the aux but Paige beats her to it. 

“Hey,” Azzi squeals, making grabby hands, “my car, my rules, my music.”

“Nuh-uh injury privileges,” Paige gloats, sticking out her tongue. 

“That’s not a thing.”

“Is too.”

“Fine, we’ll listen to your crap music.”

“I resent that,” Paige retorts, as Drake blasts through the speakers. The sound of it makes Azzi groan, and she dramatically bangs her head against the steering wheel. Paige spends the rest of the car ride singing at the top of her lungs. Azzi spends the rest of the car ride alternating between shaking her head and joining in with the singing. It’s like they’re back in 2020 all over again, back before they found themselves in the whirlwind of life, back when they were just Paige and Azzi.

*** 

Their trip inside the grocery store takes less time than the ride to get there, even if Paige takes her time dilly-dallying in the dairy section, pretending she’s going to get anything other than just regular milk. She’s overly conscious of the fact that their time together might be coming to an end, that this time she might actually have to deal with saying goodbye. But she’s not ready to go back to missing Azzi just yet. 

“Maybe you can show me your dorm,” she says quietly, once they're both back in the car, playing with the hem of her shirt. Beside her, Azzi draws in a sharp intake of breath, clearly not having expected Paige to want that of all things. In all honesty, the idea of stepping into the world that had stolen Azzi from her is not all that appealing to Paige but she wants to hold onto this moment just a little bit longer. 

“You wanna see my dorm?” 

“A chance to see how the non-blue blood peasants live? I’d never pass it up.”

“Non blue blood,” Azzi scoffs, "Ever heard of John Wooden?”

“I was talking about women’s basketball but yeah I have heard of him. I won the award last year. Over you,” Paige smirks, wiggling her eyebrows. 

“Not everyone’s a phenom their freshman year,” Azzi retorts fondly, unable to mask the hint of pride in her voice. 

“Well we’ll see this year-” Paige stops herself, cold seeping into her lungs, as she remembers why she’s in the stupid state of California in the first place. The lighthearted mood in the car goes tumbling out the window as her words hang like a dagger in the air. 

“Paige,” Azzi whispers, trying to wrap that one syllable in comfort. She reaches out to touch the blonde’s shoulder but must think better of it because her hand hovers mid-air for a second, before she pulls it back. Paige is suddenly hyper aware of the fact they haven’t touched yet. It’s a reminder of the fact that whatever progress they’ve made today, there’s still so much they haven’t even begun to unpack. 

“It’s fine,” Paige’s voice is steely, “just drive.”

Azzi opens and closes her mouth a couple of times, before simply nodding and starting the ignition. She’s clearly holding back and Paige doesn’t know how to feel about it. There’s a part of her that wants Azzi to push her to talk like she would before, but there's another part of her that knows this new rope they’re trying to string between them is fragile. 

They ride in silence to Azzi’s apartment, both of them too caught up in their own thoughts to bother with music this time. As the UCLA campus nears, Paige can’t help but hate it just a little bit. She’s aware she’s being petty. Acting like Storrs, Connecticut is some hub of beauty is probably a stretch of the imagination for anyone but she’s determined to dislike this place out of principle.

“Hmm not too shabby but like where’s the fucking cows?” Paige jokes, as the car comes to a stop in front of Azzi’s apartment building. She steps out gingerly, pretending to inspect her surroundings, making tsk-tsk noises at the most random things. 

“I’ve seen your apartment Bueckers, don’t even try,” Azzi retorts. 

It shouldn’t surprise Paige to see one of Azzi’s teammates when they enter her living room. It’s just like UConn really in the sense that there’s always someone there when you walk in but something about seeing Charisma Osborne just chilling in Azzi’s space suddenly makes it more real that the younger girl is definitely a UCLA Bruin. 

“Oh,” Charisma gives Paige a once-over, clearly not having expected to see her, “hi Paige.”

Paige waves, shuffling her weight on her crutches, unsure what to say. It’s not like she doesn’t know Charisma, they’ve literally won a gold medal together for USA basketball. She’s even met the girl a couple of times after and she likes her, she does. But her bitter brain is focused on the fact that this is one of those girls who had gotten Azzi as their teammate, one of the girls who got to see Azzi everyday. All things Paige had not gotten. 

“You didn’t tell me you were bringing company Az,” Charisma says pointedly, looking at Azzi and Paige bristles at the use of the nickname. She’s being all sorts of ridiculous but at least she’s self-aware of it. 

“Last minute decisions,” Azzi replies airily. The two girls lock eyes and Paige can tell they’re having some sort of unspoken conversation and now the green-eyed envy monster is out in full force. 

“I insisted on seeing her dorm,” she says finally, breaking into whatever staring competition the two UCLA guards are having. 

“It’s not a problem,” Charisma reassures, standing up from her position on the couch, and coming over to give Paige a tentative hug, “I just didn’t know you were coming. But it’s good to see you, Paige.”

“Yeah,” Paige tries to muster up a proper smile as she leans in to return the hug but it comes out more like a grimace, “you too.”

“We’re gonna go chill in my room,” Azzi says, beckoning to one of the doors in the hallways and Paige obediently follows her, waving a half-hearted goodbye to Charisma. She’s secretly pleased to have Azzi back to herself. 

The room is nothing out of the ordinary except it has Azzi all over it. She’s in the pink comforter that is thrown haphazardly over a clearly not made bed. She’s in the unicorn plushies laid delicately over a dark blue couch. She’s in the little flower stickers that outline the mirror on the far side of the room. There’s a wall dedicated solely to pictures and fairy lights on one side and Paige is immediately drawn to it. A familiar ache reverberates in her chest as her eyes flicker over the pictures of Azzi’s family. She’s missed them. Then there’s the photographs of Azzi in her UCLA uniform, her teammates surrounding her and Paige has to resist the dangerous urge to rip those off the wall. Be happy for her happiness, the logical part of her brain yells, not seeming to realise she’d left any chance of that in the dirt a year ago. As she tears her eyes away from those offending pictures, they land instead on a whole other set of photographs and she feels her heart catch in her throat. 

It’s a set of three images of her and Azzi, taken at various moments. Paige brushes her thumb against the one of the two of them with their arms around each other at the Minnesota  state fair. Azzi’s beaming at the camera and Paige is beaming at Azzi. They look so young, so naive, so happy. 

“I’m on your wall,” Paige breathes out, turning to face her best friend, “Fuck, I’m on you wall.”

“Of course you are,” Azzi affirms, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world but she shuffles nervously, giving away the reality behind her stable demeanour. 

“I never answered your texts. I didn’t call you back,” Paige lists quietly as the first tear falls from her eyes; she’s been holding them back all day, “and I’m on your fucking wall.”

Azzi looks away, unsure how to deal with the fact that apparently they’re no longer tip-toeing around the past. She doesn’t know how to tell the blonde that there had never really been a second thought about whether or not those photos were going up on the wall.

“Doesn’t matter,” she shrugs finally, “you’re my best friend. You’re always gonna be my best friend. Ride or die right?”

“Ride or die,” Paige repeats in a whisper before she all but throws herself at Azzi, practically moulding herself into the younger girl’s body. Caught off guard, Azzi stiffens for a second, before relaxing into it. It’s late outside and the sun has set, but in this moment, the world shines the brightest it has in a year as two stubborn girls finally find their way home to each other. 

***

That night, Azzi asks her tentatively if she wants to stay over and of course Paige agrees. Lying awake next to a familiar stranger, she lets herself finally remember the day things had first started unravelling.

November 2020

“You’ll probably get one of the upstairs apartments, so we probably won’t actually be living together which is good because can you imagine if I had to see your goofy ass 24/7?” Paige puts a dramatic hand to her forehead, as she leads Azzi into her room.

She’s too caught up in her excitement having Azzi at UConn, and planning what’ll happen next year, to notice that the girl in question isn’t participating at all in her enthusiasm. Paige has been waiting for what feels like a year (in reality it’s only been a few months) to finally have her best friend come visit. The minute the car had pulled up, she’d taken it upon herself to start her sales pitch all over again, missing the sympathetic smiles she’d gotten from the rest of the Fudd family as she pulled Azzi away to show her the glories of the campus. 

“Did you see my assist to Christyn today?” Paige gloats, falling onto her bed with a smirk. 

“It was pretty great,” Azzi concedes. 

“It was fucking perfect thank you very much. I set her up perfectly, exactly how she likes it.”

“Right.”

“And then did you see how excited the team was for her? For everyone? Never gonna find a greater group of girls.”

“They seem wonderful P.”

Paige furrows her eyebrows as she catches Azzi still lingering by the door instead of joining her on the bed. The brunette fidgets with the sleeve of her sweater, chewing on her lips.

“Are you allergic to my bed?” Paige waits for some smartass response. When she doesn’t get one, she frowns, instincts going haywire, “Az, you good?”

“I- '' Azzi looks away, swallowing nervously, “I need to tell you something and I- I’m not sure how you’re gonna react.” 

“You get a boyfriend or a girlfriend or something in the last few months that I don’t know about?” She says it light-heartedly enough, but the thought of it sends a sharp sting through Paige’s heart. In hindsight, she thinks maybe she could have dealt with it having been that. 

“What? No. Just- just don’t- dont take it personally okay. Like you can be upset about it but- but don’t hold it against me yeah? My parents- they said- they said you’d get it. You’d be upset but you’d- you’d get it because you- you get me right?”

Paige’s chest hammers as she watches the younger girl draw in a deep breath, “you’re scaring the shit out of me right now.”

“I’mcommittingtoUCLA” Azzi says all in one breath, the words blending together. 

She’s sure she’s heard it wrong. There’s no way. After all this time, after all their conversations, all the pitches, how hard she had worked, there was no way this was going to be the end to all of Paige’s efforts. 

“What?” she whispers, crossing her fingers that she has in fact misheard. 

When Azzi averts her eyes, she knows she hasn’t, “I’m committing to UCLA.”

The first time Paige and Azzi met was somewhat awkward, what with Azzi’s shyness and Paige being slightly overeager to make a new friend. When they’d become bus buddies, they’d progressed to being casual acquaintances who could small talk and share smiles. And then the flight back to Minnesota happened and everything had changed. Every moment after was filled with conversation or laughs or a comfortable silence. Until this one, where the sudden silence between them foreshadows an ominous future.

“Say something,” Azzi says finally, her voice shaking. 

Paige stares at her for a second before, “you named your dog Stewie.”

“What?”

“You named your dog Stewie. After Breanna Stewart who played at UConn. It’s not-” Paige wracks her brain, hands flying animatedly “it’s not Meyers or something, after someone who played at fucking UCLA. You named your dog after a UConn great. How are you going to take him to UCLA with you?”

Azzi stares at her, clearly not having expected that level of questioning of all things. Who could blame her when Paige herself feels a little insane. 

“This is a joke right? You’re fucking with me? Ha ha ha very funny,” she claps deliriously,  “hilarious prank seriously, like hats off you’ve outdone yourself but enough okay? Say sike right fucking now.”

Azzi makes a strangled noise, “it’s not a joke Paige. That’s- that’s my decision.”

“Then change it,” Paige yells, catapulting off the bed.

“Paige-”

“Have you told UCLA yet?”

“I wanted to tell my family and you first.”

“Oh wow, how kind of you. How fucking generous of you to do that Azzi,” Paige bites back sarcastically and Azzi flinches. 

In a flash, Paige’s expression goes from angry to desperate, “you still have time to change your mind . Please just- just think about it again okay? You still have so much time and you know what, stay here for a couple more days. Spend time with the team, with the coaches, with me and you’ll see-. UCLA just sounds nice you know? California, the sun, I get it, of course it’s tempting. But just- just stay here okay? And you’ll see this is where you belong,” she leaves the, with me, unsaid. 

“Paige,” Azzi’s voice cracks. She takes a step toward her and then pauses. It’s the first time in a long time that Azzi’s hesitated when it comes to Paige. It won’t be the last. And when she looks at Paige through her long eyelashes, tears threatening to fall from her dark brown eyes, Paige knows she’s lost. 

“No,” she’s pacing now, chest heaving up and down in a combination of frustration, anger and misery, “this is not fucking happening. We’re not doing this. I made you a whole recruitment video. Did you watch it? Do you know how long it took me to make it? Has the last year been a fucking joke to you?”

“Of course not-”

“Don’t even. Because clearly- clearly it has. Must’ve been hilarious watching me beg and plead with you when you already fucking knew you were going to committ somewhere else.”

“That’s not fair,”  Azzi’s voice rises at the accusation, “I had no idea where I was going until a couple of weeks ago. You can’t seriously think that low of me.”

“Not fair? You know what’s not fair, Azzi? We’ve been talking about playing together, about finally being on the same team, the same fucking state, for years. What’s not fair is you throwing all of that away on a whim.”

“I’m not committing to UCLA on a whim. This is my whole future we’re talking about. You don’t even know how much thought I’ve put into it. And I’m choosing what’s best for me. You can’t hold that against me Paige. You can’t.”

They stand on opposite sides of the room, taking in harsh staggered breaths and glaring at each other. The tension in the room is electric as the string connecting them frays. Paige and Azzi bicker, they don’t argue. Or at least, that’s how it used to be. 

“Az?” their stare down is broken by a knock on the door as Katie Fudd lets herself in. Immediately, as she stares between her daughter and the girl who’d become just as important, Katie knows what has happened, “we’re going back to the air BnB, are you staying here?”

The answer should be obvious, like it used to be. Of course she would stay here. It was meant to be a no-brainer. But before Azzi can say that, Paige intervenes and the string snaps. 

“She’s going with you,” the blonde says firmly, before turning her back. She won’t let Azzi see the tears, she won’t. For her part, the brunette stares at Paige’s back silently for a couple of seconds, before a mask of determination slips on. 

“Fine. If that’s what you fucking want,” Azzi sneers before brushing past her mom, eager to get away and hide her own tears. 

When Paige turns back around, Katie is already looking at her. The older woman walks the length of the room and pulls the younger girl into a hug that she readily melts into. Paige sniffles as Azzi’s mom soothingly rubs her back. 

“We’re driving back tomorrow morning,” Katie whispers quietly into Paige’s hair, “I know you’re mad sweetheart but come say goodbye okay?”

And she does. She shows up with only half an hour or so remaining before Azzi leaves, but Paige shows up. They hug stiffly, exchanging maybe a sentence or two but in that moment it’s enough. They’ll call later when Azzi gets home and it’ll be awkward for a little bit but they’ll break through. They’ll figure out a way to go on without having to talk about the “big thing”. They’ll hold on as long as they can, until they can’t anymore. 

***

September 2022

After the night Paige stays over at Azzi’s apartment, they're attached at the hip for the next few weeks, just like old times. They’ve fallen into a routine of sorts. Azzi shows up without fail every day after practice to pick Paige up from her rehab, and then the rest of the younger girl’s time is Paige’s. The first time she’d seen the brunette leaning casually against her car, Paige had had to stop herself from jumping into her arms. She’d played it as nonchalant as possible, joking about Azzi being stalker, but inside, she could feel it again, the dangerously familiar tap of this is all I’ll ever need. 

On days Paige doesn’t have rehab, Azzi still shows up right on time on her doorstep with a board game or food or something.  It’s gotten to the point where every time the doorbell rings, Paige opens it expecting Azzi. The couple times it’s not, she tries and fails to hide the disappointment on her face. It earns her an eye roll from the delivery guy but it’s worth it for the laugh it elicits from Azzi when she tells her the story. They fall back together as if they’d never fallen apart. And what’s more terrifying than finding out that she’d never truly gotten over old Azzi, is realising how easy it would be to fall in love with new Azzi. 

When Caroline, Nika and Piath come to visit the weekend after, all three of them can immediately tell that something's changed. Their teammate seems lighter, as if she’s finally found a sense of calm. But their incessant prodding and raised eyebrows are only met with shrugs from a tight-lipped Paige. It isn’t until Azzi calls, and Nika snatches the phone out of Paige’s hands, gasping at the callerID, that they finally figure out why their point guard has a new kick in her step. 

“You should invite her out with us tonight,” Caroline is the first to speak, giving Paige an encouraging smile. 

“Carol,” Nika hisses, “we can’t just invite the enemy.”

“She’s not the enemy,” Paige defends immediately, “we don’t even have a rivalry with UCLA.”

Nika scoffs indignantly, “of course she is. She picked a different school over us. Over UConn! That’s weird. Who even does that?”

“Lots of people do,” Caroline, who occasionally texts Azzi (albeit she’s kept that somewhat of a secret), supplies helpfully, shrugging when the Croatian glares at her. 

Piath nudges Paige when she notices the other girl has gone quiet, “ignore Nika. She doesn’t mean it, you know that. If you wanna invite her, invite her.” 

And she does, she wants to so badly. It’s insane really because it hasn’t even been a full day since they’d last seen each other but Paige swears something inside her has been missing since. There’s something awfully terrifying about letting Azzi back into the UConn version of her world, the world that the younger girl had once rejected. Still, if they’re going to try this again, she supposes sooner or later, it’ll have to happen. 

“Put her on speaker,” Nika orders when Paige grabs her phone back from her. 

“Nika,” Caroline, younger only by age, warns, pulling the other girl away, “we’re supposed to be cheering her up, not making life harder.”

Azzi answers on the third ring, her voice teasing  “miss me already?”

Yes, Paige thinks, sometimes I think I miss you even when you’re right here next to me, sometimes I think I’ll miss you forever. But she doesn’t say any of that. 

“Not a chance,” she scoffs instead, “besides you called me first.”

“Butt dial.”

“Mmmhmm I’m sure.”

“Shut up,” Azzi laughs and Paige is glad her teammates aren’t here to see the goofy grin that appears on her face at the sound of it, “I just wanted to see if we were doing something tonight?”

“Yeah- umm- you remember I told you about the girls coming down this weekend. They- uh- they wanted to go out tonight and uh- you could come along?” 

There’s a pause on the other end and Paige knows Azzi’s going through the same thought process as her. 

“I don’t wanna intrude on your time with your team P-”

“You wouldn’t be intruding,” Paige cuts in immediately and although she figured her teammates were definitely eavesdropping, Nika cursing about her being “pussywhipped” followed by in-sync shushing from Piath and Caroline, gives them away. 

On the other end of the line, Azzi’s quiet again, “it’s okay P, you go have fun with your friends. We don’t have to spend every night together. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

What she doesn’t say is that maybe they need to learn how to live like that again, how to live apart again. Paige is almost done with the LA part of her rehab, something both of them are still in denial about. It’s only a matter of time before they return back to their two separate worlds and neither of them are sure they’ve managed to repair their friendship enough to not slip back into their foolishness again. 

“But I wanna see you tonight,” Paige whines, her tone teetering on the edge of sounding like a desperate girlfriend, “please.”

“Paige-”

“Pleaseeeeeee. I’m literally injured and begging Az, it’d be mean to say no.”

“What does your injury even have to do with any of this?” Azzi sighs exasperatedly, “but yeah okay fine calm down Bueckers. Send me an address, I’ll be there.”

“You don’t wanna come pregame here?” 

“Dude, let's not push it, okay?”

“Yeah, yeah okay see you,” Paige pauses, “hey Az?”

“Hmm?”

“I’m really happy you’re coming tonight.”

“I’m really happy you’re happy P.”

***

Azzi Fudd is a menace. See, people often get fooled by her soft-spoken nature and shy demeanour, but Paige has been around her long enough to know the truth. In the beginning it was the witty quips the younger girl always had ready whenever they were having some ridiculous argument. After that, it was the direct pranks that wreaked havoc on Paige’s life. But tonight, in Paige’s opinion, tonight is Azzi’s worst offence. She had to have done it on purpose, had to have known the sheer effect it would have on Paige to see her dressed like that. The red criss-cross tank top fits her like a mould and the way her ripped jeans shorts cling to her hips leaves little to the imagination. Her diamond belly button piercing shines against her skin, taunting Paige. She wants to touch, she wants to feel, she wants to do all the unspeakable things in her mind but she’s forced to just watch. 

What she hates most though, is that everybody else is watching too. Since Azzi’s walked into the club, Paige has had to fight the urge to strangle every stranger who had given her best friend an appraising once-over. Some of them let their eyes linger long enough to give her time to plot out the perfect murder strategy (it’s the only way she can stop herself from actually committing a crime tonight). And, as Azzi dances with Caroline, hips swaying to the beat and holding the other girl a little closely, Paige has the irrational urge to hit sweet, kind Caroline of all people. 

The thing is, Azzi’s been a little too attached to Caroline since she got here in Paige’s opinion. And she gets it. Piath, bless her soul, is trying but has always been a little awkward around new people. Nika is definitely not trying, loyally holding onto a grudge on behalf of Paige. Which leaves Caroline, who’s already familiar territory and the younger girl has grasped onto her like a lifeline. But enough is enough Paige decides, as she slips out of her seat with a determined look. Smoothly, she cuts right in between Caroline and Azzi.

“Nika’s a little wasted and I don’t want to deal with,” it’s a blatant lie but Paige knows appealing to Caroline’s more motherly instincts will get her what she wants. She gets a raised eyebrow in return, her teammate clearly catching her ruse because Nika looks visibly fine. But it works anyway and Paige gets Azzi to herself. She reaches for the other girl’s hand, twirling her just so she can hear that stupid silly laugh, and then pulling her back so she’s facing Paige. 

“You having fun?” 

“Always have fun with you P,” Azzi replies. She’s clearly tipsy but there’s no hint of insincerity in her voice. It makes Paige’s breath hitch. 

“Yeah?” she whispers, taking a step closer, “more than with Carol?”

Azzi giggles, “more than anyone.”

The song in the club changes and as the crowd adjusts to it, someone jostles Azzi and immediately Paige grabs at her hips to steady her. As she finds her balance, Azzi’s giggles subside, realising just how close she is to the blonde now. They’re stuck in slow motion as the world dances around them. The combination of adrenaline and alcohol pumping through her veins is what convinces Paige to test the limits. One hand still squeezing at Azzi’s bare waist, revelling in finally getting to touch, she brings up her thumb to trace around Azzi’s lips. The younger girl gulps, but when she doesn’t try to move away, confidence pulses through Paige. Her heart is beating frantically out of her chest, years and years of want and need that she’d shoved as far away as possible, desperately fighting to get to the surface. 

Pushing herself closer, so their chests are now pressed to each other and Azzi’s hands have no choice but to latch onto her biceps, Paige places a delicate, teasing kiss to the corner of Azzi’s lips. She wishes she could record the whine it elicits and listen to it on loop for hours. Smirking, she moves to place another one on the other side, this time pressing her lips a little harder, a little longer. Azzi’s eyes are closed shut, hands gripping onto Paige so tightly, she knows there’ll be a mark on her biceps tomorrow. She cups Azzi’s face with both hands now, her own eyes shutting involuntarily, as she finally, finally brushes their lips together. 

This time, the strangled noise that leaves Azzi’s throat, is one Paige wishes she could forget as the younger girl rips herself away from Paige, the force of it creating almost a foot of distance between them. It doesn’t take long for the familiar sting of rejection to make itself home in her heart. Azzi’s eyes are brimming with tears as she manically shakes her head. Without a word, she rushes through the crowd, making a beeline for the exit, leaving Paige confused and craving for another taste. 

***

It takes Paige a second to gather her thoughts before following the brunette. She ignores the confused glances from her teammates, making some bullshit excuse about fresh air as she fights her way outside. When she gets there, Azzi’s leaning against the wall, eyes closed as she takes in long deep breaths. 

“That’s not usually how girls react when I try to kiss them,” Paige says after a second, trying to make light of the situation, even if her heart is heavy with anxiety. 

It’s the wrong thing to say because Azzi scoffs, “you kiss a lot of girls don’t you.”

“Yeah and most of them kiss me back,” Paige bites back. 

She’s taken aback by the fire in the darker-skinned girl’s eyes as Azzi finally opens them, heaving herself off the wall. 

“I won’t be one of your groupies Paige. I won’t be one of your desperate one night stands. I won’t be just some other hookup. I won’t!”

Frankly she’s a little offended Azzi would even think that of her. She’s aware of her reputation. In fact she’d probably fed into it a little bit, exaggerating her escapades to Azzi on the phone her freshman year, when they had been on the verge of combusing and she’d been desperate to get a rise out of the younger girl. Last year though, last year was different. But Azzi doesn’t know that. 

“I don’t want you to be any of that,” she replies feebly. 

“Then what, do you want me to be?” Azzi’s voice rises with each syllable. 

Paige stutters, the words getting stuck in her throat. The truth is she wants Azzi to be everything. The truth is, Azzi already is everything. Except there’s too much between them and she just can’t say it. They stand in silence until Azzi finally breaks it.

“I think these last few weeks of summer might have been the best of my life,” she says miserably, “and that might be the worst thing ever you know? Because it’s not real. You’re gonna go back to your world and you’ll- you’ll stop replying to my texts and you’ll stop- you’ll stop calling me and I- I don’t know if I can do that again.”

“That’s an awful lot of assumptions you’re making about me,” Paige is on defensive mode now, feeling a fight brewing. 

“Because that’s what happened. Go back through your fucking phone Paige. Look at all the times I tried. And all the times you never did. You just- you cut me out Paige.”

“That’s not fair. You chose fucking UCLA. Over me.”

“No,” Azzi corrects immediately, anger seeping into her tone, “I chose UCLA over UConn. You made it about yourself.”

Paige swallows back a bitter response in favour of trying to prevent a full-fledged argument, “okay, okay let’s not- let’s not do this okay. It’ll be better this time- I- I won’t ignore your calls or texts or you okay? Just- can we just go back inside please?”

“That’s the thing,” Azzi’s anger is gone, replaced by a sad wistful smile, “I don’t know if I believe that you will,” a single tear rolls down her cheek, “I- I don’t fully trust you and you haven’t fully forgiven me. So where do we go from here?”

It’s a lie what they say about the truth setting you free, Paige thinks as Azzi’s words squeeze at her heart, because all it’s done is unleash shackles of despair that holds them both hostage. It had been easy the last couple of weeks, to pretend the last year had never happened. It had been easy for Paige to pretend that she was over what happened, to ignore the part of her brain that still felt so utterly betrayed. 

“Azzi, what are you saying? You don’t- you don’t wanna be friends?” Paige feels nauseous even saying it. 

“No I-” Azzi chews at her bottom lip, “I’m saying this- us- we’re too fragile to complicate even more. I barely- fuck- Paige, I barely survived losing my best friend. I don’t think I could survive losing something more.” 

The worst thing about it all, is that it makes sense. And really, Paige doesn’t know what she’d expected to happen if Azzi hadn’t pulled away when she did. They’d kiss, maybe give in and do more and then what? Shake hands and walk away? Or make false promises that would ultimately lead to resentment? No, Years and years of something deserved better than either of those masochistic endings. It makes sense, it does but it doesn’t mean Paige has to like it. 

In front of her, all the fight evaporates from Azzi’s body, as the younger girl leans back against the brick wall of the club, sliding down and pulling her knees to her chest. She looks every bit as miserable as Paige feels and all the blonde wants to do is wipe away the stress lines creasing against the younger girl’s beautiful phase. She moves to sit down next to her best friend, shuffling so their shoulders are pressed together and intertwines their fingers together. A sigh of relief escapes her when Azzi doesn’t immediately pull away. Instead, she squeezes their hands tighter, as if she’s scared that if she lets go, Paige will disappear. 

“You didn’t lose me you know,” Paige says softly after a second, nudging Azzi’s shoulder when the other girl lets out a noise of protest, “I know, I know it feels like you did. It felt like that to me too except- every time something good or bad happened to me, I heard your voice or- or maybe I just really wanted too. We got lost a little bit but I didn’t- I didn’t lose you and you didn’t lose me. There’s a difference. I don’t think we could ever lose each other like that. Not really.”

When Azzi turns to look at her, the golden glow of the street lights illuminate the emotions in her eyes. She gives Paige a soft smile, “well Bueckers, if basketball doesn’t work out, maybe you have a future in poetry.”

“I could do whatever I wanted,” except what I want to do the most. 

It doesn’t take long for the Uber Azzi’s already called to start pulling up and that familiar ache of longing creeps into Paige’s spine. She knows tonight isn’t their final goodbye; they still have a couple more days. But those days will be spent ignoring and pretending, unlike tonight and the firm grip they have on reality. They rise off of the cold pavement together, dusting themselves off. It takes a second of awkward glances before they’re surging into each other’s arms, squeezing each other so tightly that it’s hard to breathe. Paige wills herself not to cry, hiding her face in the crook of Azzi’s neck. 

“We’ll be okay,” she whispers, unsure if it’s more for her benefit or Azzi’s. 

The unwanted beep of a car is the only reason they reluctantly pull away, hurriedly wiping away unshed tears, they pretend the other can’t see. Azzi musters up a brave smile, before slowly moving away and it takes everything in Paige not to crumble and begs her to stay. Azzi’s halfway to the car when she turns back and it feels like Paige can breathe again. The brunette’s face is conflicted for a second before turning determined, as she starts walking back up. 

“Az-”

Paige’s confusion is stifled as Azzi fists her shirt, pulling her into a searing kiss. It’s desperate and needy and it’s only a few seconds before the dark-haired girl is pulling away again, but it sets Paige’s entire world off balance. 

“I just-” Azzi’s breathing is rapid and uneven, “I’ve wanted to do that since I was fifteen and- just- fuck- I just-,” she blinks up at Paige, “I hate- I hate leaving things unfinished and for fucks sake if you don’t call me back this time Bueckers- just- don’t be a stranger.”

Paige doesn’t get time to answer, she doesn’t think she could even if she did, because Azzi scurries away almost immediately. She stops when she gets to the car, turning back to give Paige one final look, a look that will haunt Paige forever, before getting into the backseat. As Paige watches the back of Azzi’s uber gets smaller and smaller, her tongue darts across her lips as she tries to memorise the faintest taste of Azzi’s strawberry-flavoured lipstick. And she knows, she’s so utterly and completely and terribly fucked.

[really-bibi]

【ｂｅｓｔ　ｆｒｉｅｎｄｓ？】

------------------------------------------------------------------------------ ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚pairing: bangchan x reader ⋆.˚⟡ ࣪ ˖summary: maybe you weren't too late. ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚warnings/genre: college au, hurt/comfort, its very awkward ngl, i tried to make it mildly funny but my humor is shit, includes use of (y/n) ⋆.˚⟡ ࣪ ˖notes: this is a part 2 so if u haven't read the first part, i suggest to go do that before proceeding ! click here. english is not my first language, so there could be grammar issues and stuff. also this isnt proofread

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

he loved you. it was clear, but he still denied his feelings, even to himself. bangchan fucked up. really badly. yes, he was already dating someone, but really, she was just a replacement. he felt bad, honestly. saki had never done anything wrong. she was nice, and smart, and she wasn’t just pretty. she was drop-dead gorgeous. everyone loved her, and he couldn’t blame them. but she just wouldn't cut it. she just wasn't you. when you confessed to him that day, he didn't know what to do. he panicked. he knew that he didn't actually love saki, but it he didn't want to admit it. bangchan was being a coward, always too scared to confess, thinking that it would ruin his friendship with you. every day, he held back his feelings. that was what ruined your friendship. he took a deep breath as he knocked on the door to your apartment. you walked towards the door and looked through the peephole cautiously. "god, its him. of course its him.", you thought. you hadn't talked to bangchan in a week after what happened at his apartment. "...come in.", you unlocked your front door hesitantly. "i broke up with her." "you WHAT?!" holy shit. maybe your delusional ass has a chance. "i don't love saki. i never loved her. there was always this other girl, and i just thought you had the right to know about this.", he said, sitting down on your couch in the living room. oh. nevermind. of course he still likes a girl that isn't you. "i've actually loved her for a really long time. its been.. 7 years, i think?", what the actual fuck. that was longer than time time you've liked him.. "okay, i can't do this anymore.", he continued. "huh?? what-" bangchan kissed you on the lips. you froze, not even able to kiss him back. oh my god. the love of your life just kissed you. on the fucking lips. "uhh are you good (y/n)? i'm sorry if that made you uncomfortable, really." "..." "..hello?.. earth to (y/n)?", he waved his hand above your face. "holy shit." "so are you good now orr-" you pulled him into another kiss. he kissed you back. oh my god. the love of your life just kissed you back. on the fucking lips. at this point, your brain isn't even functioning enough to form a coherent sentence. "i love you", he announced. "woah, i just realized right now after you kissed me twice" "shut up" "wait, channie what are we?" "people", god, he's dense as a rock. "..no i meant like our situation." "we're sitting on a couch", there is no way he's not joking right now. suddenly, he got down on one knee. "christopher fucking bahng." he pulled out a paper ring and asked, "will you be my girlfriend? "you're so fucking dramatic i love you" "..is that a yes?" "what do you think that was?" ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ a/n: ew wtf was that?? its kind of really extremely bad but idk anymore,, my humor is shit btw so i hope u didn't expect to laugh.

[caileeflavoured]

i can do you for free

miles miller x fem! reader

© caileeflavoured 2024, do not repost, modify or translate!

synopsis: When Miles can’t help himself but spy on you and your client, he wonders if he can afford a night with you, too.

a/n: another fic from ages ago that i can't find on my blog anymore so whatever, idk wtf happened in this one but i know it for sure is 18+, therefore, read at your own risk!

wc: 2.1k

MAIN MASTERLIST

You entered the hotel’s lobby behind the man who’d booked a night with you. He was very generous, offering to pay double the price when you hesitated at first. 

You’d always preferred a quick job in your client’s car over an entire night in a hotel. An admittedly sketchy hotel, seemingly in the middle of nowhere. But you couldn’t refuse an offer like that, so you eventually accepted the 280 dollars.

The man wasn’t exactly someone you were looking forward to fucking with his gray hair combed back in greasy streaks and an ill-fitting suit, contrasting your comparatively youthful appearance.

The counter was abandoned, and not a single clerk in sight. You wondered if this place was even open, considering your client’s car was the only one in the parking lot, too. “Not the busiest place around Tahoe, huh?” You mentioned to your client as you stopped at the counter, looking to the open key cupboard on your right. “But I guess you prefer discretion anyways.” Your eyes fell down to the wedding band on your client’s left ring finger as he slammed his hand down on the bell a few times. Not the first married man to make use of your services. If anything, it seemed to you that most of your clients actually had someone waiting for them at home while they drove you around Lake Tahoe. 

But that was none of your business.

The door to the backroom opened and out came an innocent-looking young man, apologizing profusely as he fixed his outfit.

“G-Good evening, Ma’am. Sir,” the guy said. 

Your eyes scanned the letters on his name tag. Miles. 

Cute, you thought. Suits him, but quickly shifted your attention back to your client.

“Evening,” you and your client said, and watched the clerk as he walked to the foyer from behind the counter with small, nervous steps, clearing his throat as he stood in front of you and your client. 

With reluctant gestures, he gave an introduction to the hotel. “The El Royale is a bi-state establishment. You have the option to stay in either the great state of California or the great state of Nevada,” he explained with a shy smile on his lips, then crossed his hands behind his back.

“Warmth and sunshine to the west or hope and opportunity to the east. Which would you prefer?”

“How much for a night?” Your client asked immediately, ignoring Miles’s question.

“Eight dollars in Nevada,” Miles explained. “Rooms in California cost one dollar more.”

“Do you have a map?”

“Uh, yes, absolutely,” the young man said, walking back to the reception with quick steps before he ripped a sheet of paper off a pad and placed it in front of you.

“We’ll take this one,” your client decided and pointed to a room.

“Alright,” Miles said, handing him the key to Room 2. “Just one night?”

Your client nodded.

“That’ll be eight dollars… And please sign the ledger,” he told your client, his eyes momentarily flicking to you.

The man to your left did as he was told, and you read the name he wrote down on the blank page. 

Bryan Cleveland.

“Her too?” Bryan asked the clerk who respectfully nodded his head.

You did as you were told, handing Miles the pen with a charming smile on your lips. And for a moment, it almost seemed to you as if his entire face lit up as he sheepishly smiled but looked down to avoid your gaze.

After a short moment of awkward silence, he wished you a great stay at the El Royale and watched you disappear out of the lobby.

•

Miles was absolutely mesmerized by you, completely lost in the spell of your appearance, and the way you carried yourself so effortlessly and beautifully. He wondered what a young girl like you was doing here with such a seemingly uncivil, old man.

As soon as you left the big foyer, Miles was fighting his own mind, trying to resist the urge to go check and see for himself what you and that man were doing in Room 2. He didn’t want to be a pervert and give in to his lecherous side, but he wondered if you and that man were…

No, he couldn’t do it. 

But still, after half an hour of fighting his own deepest desires, his feet dragged his body along the dark hallway all the way to the back of the Nevada rooms. Miles passed the empty honeymoon suite first, and stopped for a few seconds, thinking this was his last chance of avoiding yet another sin. 

He thought about all the bad things he’s done in the past. The 123 people he’s killed, the people he’s recorded whenever his manager told him to. God would resent him once and for all, the chance of redemption would minimize drastically if he really did it.

But his curiosity and the enchantment you’d put on him still got the better of him. 

“Forgive me father,” he whispered to the heavens above, making that last step forward and turning to face the two-way-mirror.

Miles choked on his own spit the moment he finally saw what exactly you and and that Bryan Cleveland were doing at the El Royale. Time seemed to stand still as he watched you on top of the old man, your naked curves moving with such elegance and grace as you sat on that man’s middle.

Your hips shifted back and forth as you guided his hands to your body, letting him knead your breasts and play with your nipples. Miles couldn’t ignore the sense of pleasure the scene in front of his eyes involuntarily sent down to his cock.

He was aching for what that man had. He felt envy even, thinking you’d deserve so much better than that. But then his gaze shifted to the table on the other side of the room. 

And the stack of dollar bills on its surface. Oh. 

Miles wondered how much money that was, and then caught himself counting the few crumpled-up bills he’s had scattered around in the maintenance closet. It had to be forty at most — no way that was enough for someone like you.

So maybe the show in front of him had to be enough after all.

He pressed on the button to his right, and your moans immediately filled the silence of the dark hallway. Miles panted, his hand automatically moving to his crotch.

He felt his erection strain his pants. His brain shut off as he unbuttoned them and shoved the material down just enough to free his already throbbing cock. He didn’t want to do it, but he lost all self-control.

Miles fisted his cock, his eyes glued to your frame, jumping obscenely on that man’s hips, his ears picking up only those slutty, lewd noises coming from your mouth. To him, it felt like he was watching his very own live porn, an exclusive show just for him, with a girl so unreal he wouldn’t believe this was actually happening if it wasn’t for the undeniably authentic sense of pleasure coursing through his veins.

His hand moved faster along his length, and the feeling got more intense with each second passing. He leaned forward, needing to steady himself on the small edge of the mirror as he imagined his hand to be your deliciously sweet cunt. 

“You like that?” Your voice echoed through the speaker as you picked up your pace on that man’s dick.

“Oh, fuck! Yeah, yeah just like that!” Miles panted.

He was grateful his own voice did not echo back into your room as he got lost in the dreamlike pleasure you gave him, his own pathetic moans reverberating in that dark hallway.

He watched you turn around on that man’s lap, and your new position gave him an even better view of your gorgeous chest. He kept his steady rhythm, as much in sync with yours as possible, as he watched you bend over slightly, and the way your tits bounced even harder with each snap of your hips.

“Uh-uh. Don’t come yet,” you said, and Miles tried his hardest to obey you — it felt like you were actually talking to him — but when he watched you move your hand to your clit, and heard your moans get even louder, he couldn’t help but let that intense release wash over him.

“I’m s-sorry!” His eyes shut tightly, and he groaned as he came hard, his cum painting the lower edge of the mirror as it dribbled down the dark walls. 

He stayed like that for a moment, relishing in the afterglow of his torturously powerful orgasm until his brain seemed to finally be switched on again, and he felt a sense of disgust and disgrace.

“Oh, oh God. Oh-,” Miles stammered, quickly turning off the speaker, not daring to look at you again even though he wanted to so badly. “Oh, Lord, forgive me.”

He hastily pulled his pants back up and trotted back to the maintenance closet, promising himself and the Lord that he would never ever sin again.

•

Several hours into the night, Miles wandered around the empty foyer, looking for any kind of work to keep him occupied. Or rather his mind, which still seemed to go back to those images of you, and your heavenly body.

He had wanted to clean up his mess in the hallway, but he was afraid you’d still be making that old man happy, and didn’t wanna risk yet another moment of losing control over his own primal lust. 

So he thought it’d be best to occupy himself in the lobby and clean a little behind the bar. 

The jukebox quietly played Frank Sinatra’s Strangers In The Night in the background as Miles wiped all the surfaces of the counter and the drink display behind it. He was so lost in thought he didn’t even hear the front door open, and then fall closed again. 

He also didn’t hear your footsteps approach until you sat down on one of the barstools. You cleared your throat, finally having caught Miles’s attention when he turned around, pausing his cleaning activities as he held a wine glass in one hand and his cloth in the other.

His mouth hung slightly open as he blinked rapidly. It seemed like a nervous habit of his, you’d already noticed it when you checked in earlier that night. 

You found it cute, his entire flustered state and all. 

“Oh, my apologies,” he stammered. “Ha-have you been waiting for a while?”

“No, don’t worry, Miles,” you said with a smile. “Can I get a drink?”

He nodded nervously. “A-absolutely. What would you like?”

“You choose.”

The music changed to The Shirelles’s Will You Love Me Tomorrow as Miles poured you a drink. You took the glass from him and thanked him. 

“How much for this?” “O-on the house,” he said with a shy smile and nervous nod of his head.

“Well then, let me know if I can return the favor sometime,” you sent a smile back as you took a sip of his drink, and Miles found it utterly enticing. 

His mind went back to what he saw as he looked at you enjoying your drink in front of him. He was struggling and couldn’t help himself as he thought about your naked body now covered by that pretty dress of yours.

He was struggling even more as he felt that burning desire simmer underneath his skin again, silently praying to the Lord to give him strength to resist the urge this time. He had sinned enough in his life. 

“What’s on that little clerk mind of yours, huh?” You suddenly interrupted his internal war, and his cheeks glowed red like a Christmas ball.

He stuttered a string of incoherent words, avoiding eye contact as he tried to keep himself busy wiping the counter surface.

“You know what I am, don’t you?” You asked when he wouldn’t answer your first question. “And you know who that man is, right?”

“Please, I would never assume such things, Ma’am.” “I wouldn’t take it personally, Miles,” you reassured him. “Don’t worry.” He chuckled awkwardly, trying to look at you but he just couldn’t. He feared he’d lose the last ounce of self-control if he did.

“And I still owe you one, don’t I?”

All of this felt like an insane dream to Miles, and he kept asking himself if it was the drugs. Yet he couldn’t remember that he actually shot up tonight.

He had already made up his mind before he said anything, he just didn’t realize it at first.

“I- I’m afraid I don’t have enough- umm-“

“Money? Sweetheart, I just said I still owe you. I can do you for free. Right here, right now. Just say yes.”

“Y-yes.”

[7ndipity]

Hello🤗 Hope you're doing well ❤️

Can I pls request headcanons for BTS members where reader thinks of them as just friends but they have a huge crush on us, then they get jealous when we ignored them for our guy best friend so they forced us to leave but don't confess because they are insecure? And can you please make it fluffy?

I know it's very specific 😅 but I would really appreciate it if you would accept my request ❤️ thank you ❤️

They Get Jealous of Your Guy Friend

Ot7 x Reader

Warnings: swearing, teeny bit of angst, not proofread

A/N: Thank you so much for this request! Oof this concept tho, I love these kinds of concepts! I haven't written an ot7 piece in a hot minute, so it was fun to get back to these! I hope you like it!

Masterlist

Requests are open

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•

Jin: He would get soo sulky if you weren’t paying attention to him. He’s you best friend, how could you ignore him?!(Although, he’d deny it up and down if you ever accused him of being jealous) He would try and play it off

though, pointing out how late it was getting and ‘hey, didn’t you have some work/school thing you needed to work on?’ maybe with his help?? He’d end up taking you for ice cream or smth on the way home because he feels a lil guilty for spoiling your evening and thinks about explaining, but he’d end up chickening out at the last second and keeping his thoughts to himself, for now at least…

Yoongi: Yoongi would be point blank about it, just like his approach to everything else. He’d stick himself right in the middle of whatever you and your other friend were doing and say that it was time for y’all go, since you’d so conveniently come together(well played, Min), not even letting your friend get out an offer to drop you home themselves before he was saying your goodbyes for you and all but pulling you with him out the door. When he spots you giving him a “wtf?” look, he would just shrug it off, preferring not to explain, all the earlier bravado disappearing with you. “Idk, I just wanted to leave…”

Hobi: ‘It’s fine, it’s fine, it’s fine’ is all that’d been repeating in his head for a solid five minutes as he tried to be cool and let you have a good time, but he couldn’t help feeling more than a bit miffed by the fact that he was being pretty much ignored by his partner. Except you weren’t his partner. Fuck, why did he always seem to forget that when he saw you with them? The last straw tho is when said friend puts a hand on your arm, and he’s up and beside you saying something about a minor emergency and you two have to go. He wasn’t even thinking and just said the first thing he could think of, having to now come up with a ‘whoops, false alarm!’ story so you don’t get mad at him.

Namjoon: Joon wouldn’t even hide the fact that he was irritated when you and your other friend were getting a little too cozy at the club you had gone to, coming over and grumpily telling you that y’all had to go, pulling some k-drama level shit trying to pull you along through the crowd with him. Naturally, you yank your hand away once you’re clear of the people and demand to know what the fuck was his problem, not understanding his sudden attitude. He would very nearly spill it then and there, frustration making him reckless, but he would catch himself at the last second and make up some lame excuse.

Jimin: Sulky No.2, ooh boy. He’d be trying his best(ish) not to be bothered, biting his lip every time he heard you laugh at one of their jokes or smth, but his jealousy would quickly get the better of him. He’d wind his way into the conversation before winding his way back out of it, with you in tow. How he always managed to get you away from the group was beyond you, he’s the smoothest smooth talker. You’d end up going to get dinner or coffee together on the way home,talking about whatever until you catch him staring at you for the third time and tell him to quit looking at you like that. “Like what?” “Like you’re in love with me or something.” “Would that be such a bad thing?” “What?!” “Nevermind, you were saying?”

Taehyung: Tae would come up with a bold faced lie, coming over and saying that he was feeling sick or smth and could you please take him home, knowing you would instantly go into caregiver mode, worrying about him and forgetting all about your other friend. It’s kinda a shitty move, and he knows it, but honestly if he had to sit and watch you smile at him for much longer, he might’ve actually gotten sick. He’d end up half confessing to you, talking about how much you mean to him and how he didn’t know what he’d do without you, might even actually say I love you, wincing a bit when you say that you love him too, and that he’s the best friend you could ever ask for. So close…

Jungkook: Sulky No.3. This boy is about as subtle as a neon sign, if I’m being honest. He hates when you’re not right next to him and you know that perfectly well, which is why you were ignoring him in the first place. His hypocritical attitude was really starting to irritate you, as it was apparently more than fine for him to go and mingle and flirt with whoever he wanted, but not you. By the time he got fed up and said it was time to leave, you were ready for a fight, demanding to know why he was always on your case on nights like this. “Because!” He’d catch the words just before they slipped out, biting his lip. “Because I worry about you.” “It’s not your job to worry about me.” “I know, but I want it to be…”

[yasmeensh]

Book rant? Anthropology, apes, and racism discussion.

I started reading a book titled "Bonobo Handshake" by Vanessa Woods. I picked it up because a) I want to learn more about bonobos since my knowledge of them is minimal. b) the author had interacted with bonobos in person so it's an interesting perspective to read. c) the book had positive reviews.

I was not expecting the author to start off telling us about the 'discovery' of bonobos in this way.

W-what do you mean, in Belgium? The author makes it clear that bonobos live in Congo and she gives us a few examples of local bonobo lore. Meaning, people in Congo know the bonobos very well. Way to go to give a colonizer the credit??? wtf. In this perspective, she is letting us know THAT was the moment when Bonobos entered western science, which is true. But I was really hoping the author would give it a more holistic view than this, but it seems she really believes in this??? And let me tell you, from what I am picking up between the lines, she ONLY accepts western science. Here is an example:

This is the page that confuses me immensely. I don't know if she is trying to come off as sarcastic or not. She sets out for us that Takayoshi Kano is the star of Bonobo research, but in the next paragraph says there is no one studying Bonobos. "there was never a Jane Goodall or Dian Fossey for bonobos." UHM NO? YOU JUST SAID THERE WAS???

[highlighting and writing over a picture of the page (32) since it's a library book and I can't write on it.]

She says Japanese researchers are responsible for all we know on Bonobos, but then starts talking about de Waal's zoo discoveries in detail, and they seem pretty minor compared to Kano's work with wild bonobos. She did point out that scientists don't take de waal's observations seriously because it's from a zoo, but she doesn't remedy that by telling us if it can be supported by Kano's work or not when compared. Kano is ignored. He does have one book available in English, so it's not like we can't ever learn about what he observed. you said western mainstream media don't want to listen to a man who only spoke Japanese??? UHM. You are too??? Why did you jump to de waal? If it's a book about bonobos, then please give Kano a little spotlight and tell about his research. (I actually want to read Kano's book now but I can't find a borrowable copy of it. It's a complicated long loop to get one. But it's possible T-T!!!!)

I very much dislike her tone in 'oh it's the Japanese that tell us about bonobo'. It is as if no one is actually researching them at all. They are 'foreign' so it doesn't count. Meanwhile, if it's a white person's discovery, it is humanity's. But if it's someone else theeennnn well we are not sure if it's actually real :/ Not until a white person observes this can we really put this into humanity's archive of knowledge. Otherwise, whatever they learnt is not very important or worth talking about.

I'm not gonna drop the book, because it does get me thinking about stuff and that's what I read books for. I guess it reminds me of University days, of how irritated I get when we are assigned a problematic reading to pick apart and present to class. I hope I'm not picking this apart too much 😭 I'm not sure if I'm enraged and reading too much into it. I might be totally wrong. idk... I think I need to join an anthropology book club to have people to talk with about this. Only way for now is to share on the internet and maybe a discussion starts. Want to see what others think of this (especially if they read the book).

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTAH for sending my (21NB) SIL (20F) stuff to help with her pregnancy when her mom said she doesn't want us to?

✨️✨️✨️❣️✨️✨️✨️ <- so i can recognise the post

so for some context, SIL didn't tell us she was 2 months pregnant until last night. She'd been planning on moving across the country (we live in the USA so across country is 3000~ miles/4500~ km) to go live with her boyfriend (22M) for a while now. None of us wanted her to go regardless but now that we know she's pregnant we wish she were here even more so we could help with anything she needs. She left this morning for her flight across country with a guy our family barely knows - some of us only learned his name last night.

my MIL - her mom - says she was gonna send her a car before finding out about the pregnancy but since SIL said she's gonna go to school and work online cus she wants to stay home with the baby, the mom doesn't want to send her a car that the idiot who got her pregnant (and was the one who convinced her not to tell us about it) is gonna end up using instead of her.

so, i brought up sending her some stuff to show her that she has people here who will help her (even if she is across the country) and show she's not alone. MIL was worried it would convince her to stay there. My worry is that not giving her any help will push her to stay over there where she doesn't know anyone instead of staying with family or, at least, someone she knows better than her bf of a few months.

I know she doesn't like it here, and at first I supported her moving out before I found out it was across the country with a guy she met *This Year* (2023 when submitted - idk how long thisll take to post). I don't think she should have to stay in this house, I understand she has trauma here and I fully support her moving out but the thought of her alone and pregnant on the other side of the country where she has absolutely no one other than her bf (who doesnt seem to be taking this situation seriously At All) and his family - who none of us have ever met - is just terrifying.

I dont think what I want to send her is something that would end up being a present for the boyfriend instead of her like the car. I have a pregnancy pillow from a surgery I had last year and thought even if she ends up not wanting it, sending it to her would at least show her that she's not alone and we still love and care about her from all the way over here. It isn't much and I don't think it's anything that would convince her to stay over there so I don't see why it should be a problem.

For full transparency, I *do* hope sending her support might convince her to come back, even if she doesn't move back into the house, I hope she doesn't stay in a place with a guy who clearly isn't ready to help, people she doesn't know, new rules, new everything. It all just seems too stressful under regular circumstances, let alone during her first-ever pregnancy. That being said, her staying or going is her choice, all of us agreed that trying to force her to stay/come back would only stress her out more and would be bad for her and the baby.

for extra context- when i say we dont know the bf at all, i mean it. i met him yesterday, the rest of the family has met him 2, maybe 3 times. he made a speech last night at dinner that only made me worry more, "I may not be the best for her", "Yeah, I'm in school but I'm not studying anything right now" (wtf does that even mean????), apparently he wants to be a cop (which i dont like personally) but isnt doing anything to accomplish that? and when FIL asked if we could visit her, he completely waffled as if he had never thought of the fact that we would like to go see her?? and her child??? Everyone throughout dinner made it very clear to him that we Don't know him and we're entrusting the baby of the household, the Princess of the household, with him - all of this was before we even knew she was pregnant. He didn't even tell the dad about the pregnancy before they left, he made MIL do it.

tl;dr- SIL's bf convinced her not to tell her family she was pregnant until the night before she moves across the country to live with him. I want to send her stuff to help with her pregnancy & show her she's not alone & we're here to help with whatever she needs but MIL worries sending her things will convince her that she doesnt need to come back home, i worry that not sending her anything at all will make her not want to come back at all.

What are these acronyms?

[kuregure]

spoilers ons chapter 138‼

okay I read the last chapter of seraph of the end and yeah, Guren is obviously not dead! it would have been too simple

of course, I panicked a little at first lmao but I'm okay 🤚

anyway let's go for some screens where I had things to say

Honestly, in this picture Mahiru scares me, look at her expression. But this image is quite powerful, I feel the vibes of Mahiru and Krul. Also, the fact that Krul turned Mahiru into a vampire 8 years ago and now the fact that Krul dies by Mahiru (and Ferid/Guren), is quite interesting. I wonder how they must feel you know.

Then we have a cool and dedicated Guren who makes it clear that he will keep that promise. I was very happy when I saw these two images. Despite all his suffering since cat16, having Krul turn his former crush into a vampire, he continues to keep the promise of bringing humanity back to life including Krul and her brother. He's been wanting to do it for 8 years so obviously he's going to keep this promise.

I hope he makes it and Krul and Ashera say "thanks" lmao, a little sweetness wouldn't hurt for the end!

THEN

THIS ☠☠☠

I'll be honest I raised my eyebrows seeing Mahiru say "sorry, we didn't promise anything". Like, bro wtf??? Guren just said he will keep their promise and you come and say you didn't promise anything?? please listen to him 🤨 idk, I think I need to sit down and think about all this to try to understand her maybe, but I was pretty pissed at Mahiru for that one.

I mean, maybe they didn't promise anything directly but implicitly, Guren wants to resurrect humanity including the dead vampires? so it's similar to a promise. I don't know, I need to reread because I may have forgotten things.

But given what Mahiru says next, I guess she's insinuating that she always did everything she did as what others wanted. Like, with Shikama Doji? The fact that she was being manipulated by him from the start and everything? If it's in that sense, I understand what she means 🤔 lmao I'm thinking at the same time as writing.

So she doesn't clearly say that she will keep this promise because she no longer wants to do things the way others want her to, maybe?

Okay I think I understand but still Guren wants to do it anyway for Krul and Ashera. Anyway, Guren continues to do things for others (because of his guilt and also because he is simply like that, putting the interests of others before his own hhhh) while Mahiru seems to try to detach herself from what others want. Mmh that’s interesting!

Then this. Guren literally looks dead inside, it pains me.

And obviously he doesn't respond to Ferid's joke which is pretty much the same as Noya's joke like 50 chapters ago lmao. bro doesn't have time to laugh, he's busy and in pain

Hmm do you think there will be a Ferid VS Guren/Mahiru fight??

Also, Guren does not seem surprised by Ferid's betrayal. If we can say that Ferid reveals that he betrayed his partner ofc, we will see that in the first chapter.

If there is a fight, I wonder how it will go and if there will be a winner? If there is a winner, who will win?

Oh and I'm quite disappointed not to have seen Kureto and Guren's friends. I miss them together 🤚😔

And also, rest in peace Krul. You will return with your brother as humans, don't worry. Guren is someone you can trust. ❤

[my-castles-crumbling]

Hii ! It's Internet stranger anon!

In my last ask i talked abt my bsf (whom I am in love with) but there's updates (kinda?) and I need advice bcs idk what to do. (Beware, I'm a yapper, this is gonna be long)

So, for context, one night in April i had invited 3 of my friends for a sleepover for my birthday. She was there and one of the two others dared us to kiss. So we did. And then when we all went to sleep (me, my bsf who i'm gonna call L and one other friend were gonna sleep in one big bed and my guy friend in a lil one in the corner). When both my guyfriend and the one that was sleeping with us fell asleep, idk how but we ended up kissing. Like a lot. And we cuddled too and we joked and it wasn't even awkward it was just so amazing. And then in the morning she asked for it to stay a secret and like a taboo thing. Which literally broke my heart because I've had a crush on her since September, but I acted like it was fine.

Since then, even though she asked herself for it to be a taboo, she's joked about it several times (which made me go slightly crazy bcs wtf) She has always been very clear that she thinks dating while still in middle school was useless (we're both 15 btw). She makes fun of couples in school and stuff cuz she just thinks it's dumb to date, so I know very well that even if she liked me she'll never say yes to dating me, or at least not until high school.

But here's the update (srry for the v v long context rant, I needed to get it out of my chest): yesterday we went out to the skate park to hang out, we had fun and stuff, and since we're not going to see each other for the rest of the summer break, she gifted me a fucking necklace. With a heart on it. And she said that it was for me to not forget her during the summer. She bought me a fucking heart necklace bcs she wanted me to think of her! And then I apologised for not having bought her anything and she said "it's fine I'll think abt you anyways" ! I'm going insane. Then I messaged her other best friend (who had known her for longer than I have and is closer to her) and L didn't gift her anything even though they're not going to see each other either!

You can ignore my rant if you want, I hope you have a good day/night anyway <3

Hi hon!

Ugh.

I think it's hard because she clearly has feelings, but she might not be ready to be open about them. Which isn't necessarily good, but it is what it is. She's not really being fair by still flirting with and kissing you, you know? She's got a right to her feelings, but it makes it hard for you to get mixed messages.

The thing is, at your age, some people are ready to be open about those things, and some aren't. Also, I forget your gender- if this is a queer relationship, there's that factor as well.

I'm sorry that she's putting you through those mixed signals, but maybe it makes you feel a bit busy to know that from an outsider perspective, it's definitely not YOU. She's got her own shit to work through.

[td-frog]

thoughts on disventure camp e4:

tom and jake

seeing people complain about tom being a hypocrite for snarking at jake here and i agree that it is hypocritical. but i don't think it's bad writing (i honestly really like it?)

like. tom and jake are messy. they have no communication. they overreact to everything. that's like their whole thing.

idk why tom ghosted after the first season, or while he's continuing to be distant (and now, more openly hostile). this is because the show hasn't told us yet. i assume, given that it's only episode 4 and this plot is getting a lot of attention, that there will eventually be some explanation. it doesn't really feel out of character to me at this point, just that we're missing information.

also specifically the reason i like this interaction is because it makes it very clear that tom is also being shitty here! like imo that was clear from the very start with the ghosting and dodging confrontation stuff, but more recently the focus has been on jake's jealousy. and while i do think jake is being unreasonable as well, tom is not innocent. as before, they are messy!!

villians' alliance and elimination

first off: i so called miriam being out this episode. didn't know the exact context, but in order for the alec helping fiore plot to work long term she needed to be out of the picture.

i like that she played well here though. like she did exactly what she should have done in the situation and it just didn't work out. sad to see her go, but not surprised.

poor connor tho :( my man's all alone now. i'm hoping that with grett turning on yul (you go girl) that maybe he'll last a bit longer

also yet again reminded why i love alec as a player and a villain. he's so good at planning and thinking things through, and he's not just thinking in terms of his own best interest. man plays this game like chess.

like. the rest of yellow team would have happily let ellie or fiore lose and get booted despite the alliance. alec's main goal was to get rid of miriam, but at the same time he was proving to ellie (and less so fiore) that he was also looking out for them.

i also like that it's not working out as cleanly as he'd like. miriam exposing him may not have been a problem here, but it will be later. in s1 he was able to largely fly under the radar for a while, and now is having to change tactics.

other thoughts

aiden and tess made me smile :) i want them to be friends

like ally's apology and hunter's non-apology (and fiore's wtf response). i think ally's really sweet and i get why fiore doesn't buy it but i'm glad someone on this team was like "maybe bullying a child is wrong"

ashley's backstory :(

predictions for next episode

elimination is harder to predict because the teams are even again. i'm thinking yellow team again makes the most sense, given the inevitable fallout of the villain reveal and the vote for yul. my guess would be connor vs. yul (vs. alec?) and of those three i see yul as most likely.

(could also be connor but the letter from miriam might save him somehow; i'm mainly doubting that they'd take him out of the competition here bc that'd be pretty unsatisfying for the connoriya drama. kind of leaning this actually bc yul being betrayed but not eliminated could also be juicy.)

if it's not yellow team... i could see gabby on cyan, mostly through process of elimination. tom and aiden need to stick around for the drama with jake, ellie's got the villain thing, and tess hasn't really gotten to do much other than be stuck in the middle of things.

gabby also hasn't really gotten to do anything besides support ellie, but i wouldn't be surprised to see her go early- like with james and lake, it feels like her character so far this season has been more in support of another character, and the impact her elimination would have on ellie feels like the most likely plot direction for this team to take.

that said idk why anyone would vote gabby out at this point. but i digress.

i really doubt it'll be magenta. fiore and jake have their own plots happening that i doubt will be wrapped up next episode, hunter and ally's relationship feels like it needs slightly more focus and deterioration before either of them goes home, and ashley just doesn't really seem likely?

aside from elimination

jake's gonna be sad about miriam. i think tom might be too, but unclear how exactly he'll react. will definitely make their whole thing worse, because for some reason they decided miriam should hold the brain cell of their relationship.

yellow team is definitely gonna have drama: fallout from miriam telling everyone alec was untrustworthy, the whole situation with grett and yul's relationship, connor being the only outsider to the alliance.

not sure what else- hunter and ally might have some plot progression, but i think those top two bullets will be the main points.

also whatever advantage connor got will definitely come up- seen speculation that it's like the "make people switch teams" card riya got in s2 but idk how that would play out

[n0bluev]

Somehow, im inspired to write that 'revision fic'. === (EDIT : u can skip but heres another snippet for u (3 separate bits that fit together nicely, actually haha) cuz hihi. THE AU: As i said, its a failed "3"rd regression context, where yjh is now in his "4"th round. The last memory he has of kdj is him dying, and to make things worse "In this round, that guy doesn't exist." is a thing, so yjh freaks out a bit but hes totally normal about this whole ordeal & the fact that he doesnt even remembers kdj's face now. Wdym! Hes fiiiiiine!

sorry lol back to the actual post : (,hope u enjoyed that little treat tho^^)) ===

!!THAT [Somehow, im inspired to write [...]] HAS NEVER HAPPENED TO ME BEFORE!!. I always like. do an outline for the overall story and vibe, then flesh out the start or something and cook up a little 500 (probably unsatisfying) words for fun kind of as a bonus. Keep it mostly for my private enjoyment and move on before the story comes to life. And that's okay... Yes, it would be cooler to actually write the AU ideas i get in novel or comic form instead of having them stay at just the 'sketch' & 'idea/brainstorm' phase before i get another idea and leave them to dust up in the pile,,

But yeah, its okay.

In the few years since ive started getting ideas for more elaborate aus/fics, ive noticed that my ideas improved with time. (no shit, i know, but it makes me happy! i grew up!!! i can see it.) My planning methods are better too. So all of that unfinished or abandoned stuff is not at all useless work in my eyes. And who knows, maybe one day i'll bring them back.

--> as a plus, all my fandom brainrot experiences even get transferred into my OC stuff, and frl whenever i read my notes these days (or listen to my voice memos lol) and im just like "HOW DID I THINK OF THIS WOW" or "WHEN DID I PUT THIS LIKE THIS? IT WORKS!" (not to brag or anything but my oc lore goes hard ☝️)

BUT. NOW THIS IS UNEXPECTED.

I DID NO PLANNING. I just started writing for orv and its. Lowkey, good ???? Dont get me wrong i only have 1.5k right now and there are clear holes i have to fill and stuff but... CLEAR HOLES! CLEAR HOLES. Sure Im used to being like "something of the sort should go there..." BUT THIS TIME ITS "THIS SHOULD GO THERE, ILL WRITE IT LATER BUT THE IMAGE IS IN MY MIND, CLEAR AS WATER, AND ONCE I START PUTTING IT ON THE PAGE ISTG THOSE WORDS WILL STREAM OUT OF MY FINGERS AS IF IT WAS A NORMAL OCCURENCE FOR ME" ,,- !??? Yo!

Anyways. Point is that somehow theres interesting stuff going on in my gg doc and the more i write the more i know where i want to go, so that's cool, i feel all powerfull for once

idk if that ease is going to stay once im done with the first scenes (ughh!!! theres so much potential!!!!!!!!) but hopefully yes. either way ill probably post it so im not baiting yall with a "um actually im writing smt rn --- *never shares with the class*" --- either 1) things go well and i write a "real fic" (!? wtf that wasnt my plan!) --- or 2) i only post the finished version of what i have now (expect around 5k? (i have no idea actually)) and we wait together to see if i pick up the idea again haha. (i do wish to write it tho! im not a 'writer' writer but i want to be one, u get me?)

! thank u see u byebye

[cherubchoirs]

Yo :3

So uh, I’ve been looking through your art and I am absolutely in love with it. I love your use of colors and lineart (ESPECIALLY v1 but I’ll get to them). This will mostly just be me rambling about it cause :]

Dude how the fuck do you get emotion so well done. V1 is immaculate, like look at this shit

You can feel that it’s alien to non robots, but is genuinely curious. I absolutely love how you draw poses. Especially since the characters don’t have faces, body language is key. They feel like they have a personality with each drawing. Always hunched down and extended with no regards to social norms. The attention to detail is what really makes it, the thicker outlines on the character make them pop more, and your take on V1 is clearly thought out well, along with your ultrakill characters.

LIKE LOOK AT IT‼️

IT GENUINELY LOOKS 3D‼️‼️

While my favorite is v1, Micheal in your aus is especially well written and drawn. His design reminds me a lot of the corpse of king Minos / Minos prime. which I like! It highlights their contrast, how Minos tried to reason with a higher being on an equal level. Micheal acted instead, deeming himself unworthy of said higher being. Both genuinely cared for their citizens, both were royalty. Minos spoke out, Micheal stayed isolated, which only further deteriorated him, unlike Minos, who instead was proactive, reaching out to other layers and kings like Sisyphus. Sometimes you need to know what it’s like to feel consequence in order to succeed. But in the end, both of their bodies are left to rot, unable to succeed.

Also I really like this one of v1. Their silhouette is distinctive and you’re good at posing :3

Sry. Idk if this is weird or creepy, but I thought I’d share my thoughts with you since I like analyzing stuff.

THE WAY THIS MADE ME SO EMOTIONAL THO....WTF THANK YOU SO MUCH......it's absolutely mind-blowing to me that you pay attention to these little details because i absolutely try to add all of these things intentionally, but i find myself thinking like 'will anyone even care??? about these tiny things???' so it means more than i can say to see that someone does!!!!! like i'm so happy to know that my characterization of v1 comes through, because i really do have a very clear idea in my mind of its behavior and personality that i'm trying to convey through still images. v1's movements are bird/raptor-like and while i give it a very sophisticated, sentient mind, its intelligence is nonhuman and it is a being that absolutely doesn't conform to our standards. v1 is something new, and i want it to be something that clearly has an internal life and a bright mind, yet exhibits very little corresponding human behaviors. plus, it's a bit odd because of its somewhat corrupted software, and so i wanted too for its little hunched posture to show it's sort of a machine gone feral (in the traditional, once was domesticated but is now on its own sense lol) - it was made with a humanoid body shape and so SHOULD stand up straight, but it doesn't anymore. because it doesn't want to. and so!!! i really do draw v1 with a LOT of intention and i put plenty of thought into posing it correctly to both convey its character and its emotion in the piece...and since it's my favorite, i'm so glad i'm doing it justice!!

AND YEA!!! michael definitely has parallels to minos (which i started to think on when i realized their head shape is....kinda similar lol i swear i was just going for crown + blindfold for mike's helmet but oops!!) and i do like their throughlines as fallen rulers, plus their sort of opposing yet ultimately disastrous relationships to their own corpse - minos is separated from his and must watch as it mindlessly tears his city apart while michael is trapped in a flesh prison of his own body, forced to stay within it as it rots away. they are two rulers that would have done anything for their people, and yet both failed them despite again taking opposite paths. minos really had no hope, the external forces of heaven coming down on him in their full authority, though he will forever blame himself. michael departed despite, with god's disappearance, being essentially the highest in heaven - he believed only god could save them though, that he could never become a king from a prince (again, due to heaven's own hierarchy). their meeting would be nothing but utter disaster, but it does make me consider their interactions a little more closely when michael decides to test minos prime's strength (because while michael would have a lot to say about how minos failed his people by defying god, minos would have much to say in turn about a prince abandoning his people at their weakest)

BUT FOR REAL....this message was so amazingly kind and i want to thank you again for sending it my way. it just made me!!!! feel so happy to see that my art is loved and that the work i put into it really means something. honestly it's the best thing i could ask for <3

[badgalrocky]

Mmmm am I about to express an unpopular opinion about my girl? Yes! Because I’m the type of friend who will love you to death and still call you out on your bullshit in real life. So of course I’m gonna keep it real about someone regardless of who they are or how much I admire them.

Rih said in a recent interview that she’s loving motherhood, which of course—beautiful. But then she said she’s embracing wifehood-ish.

The side eye that happened from me was strong! I honestly have always felt a way about Rih popping out babies for Rocky with no ring. But I kind of assumed maybe she the one that don’t want the ring lol. It felt like she could care less about being a baby mama cause she would be good regardless. And maybe she does feel that way. But to claim wife hood when you not a wife? Adding “ish” or not, it just isn’t what I would have expected from her.

In fact, I would have expected her to put her foot down with ASAP, cause genuinely idk wtf he waiting on. Unless they got married behind the scenes, which please! The marriage license would have been leaked from the courts. It just feels like he’s wasting time. You claiming how perfect she is and she’s the one, she’s your woman and all the niggas mad etc. Been together almost 5 years at this point but still no proposal? Rih deserves better, especially since it seems like she does want to be a wife. She should NOT be the one out here talking bout some wifehood-ish, that’s crraaaazy.

But anyway. It’s just my opinion. I love seeing her so happy so it’s whatever. I’m still gonna support. But man asap got me out here like don’t you dare pull a DDG my boy. If a wedding don’t happen then I feel like that is a clear message to the rest of us women. If someone like Rihanna could be left a single mother, than what makes us think these fools won’t do it to us?

“Boyfriends” do not deserve your womb. In my opinion. We shouldn’t be giving boyfriends babies. If a dude ain’t gonna commit to you, why give him the greatest gift you could ever give?! Getting divorced after having kids is a completely different thing and experience. But having kids for someone who never marries you? To me it’s the ultimate disrespect to the woman.

And I know, you probably thinking if you don’t like they relationship dynamic than why you running a blog for them? Because I’m just hoping for the best for them. Thats all. I do genuinely like them as a couple and they have a lot of history which is why I think he will propose eventually. But if I’m wrong, ima be hella disappointed for my girl.

[siriuslysatorusimping]

Finally got my power on again, but I am sorry you had to go through with your job. It's disgusting how there are people out there like that. My dad is black and my mom is Mexican/Navajo, so I know all about people like your shit boss. I hope you do have a case because people like that are vile. Also, thank you for creating fics for our blue-eyed king because, WTF was that ending? My expectations were in hell, but damn Gege went lower. I had to deal with that terrible open-ended ending and this freaking hurricane just my week. I'm choosing to live in Delulu and picture him with our girl just eating sweets and being lovey-dovey. At least I know he's alive and getting the life he should have had in the manga. Keep your head up, Kiko; better things will come your way!

Oof. I’m sorry you’ve been dealing with power outages! It’s crazy how far the hurricane’s reach is. A friend in Minnesota said he was dealing with stuff because of it.

Yeah, the thing with my ex-boss is that not only did he refuse to communicate clearly, I now think he does it on purpose so he can have an ‘excuse’ to fire people when he wants. The thing is, his team is still less than a year old. I was the first hire. But he’s already fired two people and one has quit. All three women of color. The first fire was a black woman, the one who quit was black, and I’m Asian. The one who quit said that when she put in her notice, people in the same office as her (the company has offices across Texas) told her that it wasn’t a good look for him. And that was two days before he fired me for supposed lack of performance on goals he never communicated. Unfortunately, discrimination cases (especially racism ones) are almost impossible to prove. And idk if I have the energy to try.

I was already struggling to make ends meet because of all my lawyer debt from the divorce, which my ex-boss knew about, too. I’ve been cutting expenses in every way possible and still coming out in the negative, now with no income, I genuinely have no idea what I’ll do if I can’t find another job soon. He fired me four days before benefits run out, too. So I can’t afford therapy, my neurology, or my ADHD medication now. I’m essentially totally fucked over and my ex-boss knew what he was doing. My biggest issue has been trying to process that someone could do something so cruel while pretending to be a good person. People are disgusting and I somehow keep forgetting long enough for them to do things like this to me.

I’m not officially diagnosed with autism because the process is long and expensive and I couldn’t afford it yet, otherwise I would have a disability discrimination case because I was transparent about needing clear communication in order to be successful.

I just feel very hopeless about the situation.

I’m very qualified for my field, and I interview incredibly well. But getting an interview is the hardest part because of the automated resume screeners companies use now.

In the end, it’ll be for the better. I don’t have to see my ex-husband at work and the environment was getting toxic because my ex-boss had essentially told me if I didn’t like his communication style, there’s the door. So, I was already passively looking. I just have to ramp up my search. And survive long enough for things to start getting better.

I’ve applied for unemployment, which should help a tiny bit, but the max they cover is only a small fraction of what I was making so it won’t be enough to cover my lawyer debt, bills, and student loans (which are private so I can’t pause the payments). I told a friend that 2024 might beat out 2020 AND last year for the worst year of my life so far. Shit just keeps happening.

BUT, I digress. I’ll do my best and try to keep my head up. It can’t stay awful forever. (I hope)

The JJK ending just existed for me, tbh. I wasn’t really surprised since it felt very shonen to me. I just hope Akutami can get the rest he needs and take care of his health now that it’s done. It’s also possible the official volume release will have additions since he’s done that in the past.

As for Gojo? I miss him. But in Another Level, he’s thriving. He’s living his best life with Rinko and the others.

I’ve been working on the two AU pieces I’ve posted previews for just for me, so we’ll see if I finish them. The first has really been a self-indulgent way to process some traumas but it’s been pretty cathartic.

Thank YOU for this message, and for reading my brainrot fics! It makes my heart feel so full to know the stories I’ve created for my own sake are enjoyable for other people to read 🥹

I hope you’re well, even in light of the hurricane effecting so many. 💕

[stitching-in-time]

Voyager rewatch s3 ep 22: Real Life

Another Doctor episode that somehow didn't end up making me like him any better. While it was meant to humanize him, he didn't end up altering his backward attitudes much, and it was a huge downer at the end. It just made me sad, more than anything.

The Doctor creating a holographic family for himself in an attempt to be more human is an interesting idea, but despite living on a ship full of real people, he for some reason thinks that a family is some sort of 1950s 'Leave It To Beaver' nonsense. It seems far fetched for the Doctor to have even encountered the sort of 'Father Knows Best' attitudes he displays here, since they would be way out of step with the 24th century society Star Trek presents. Though the actors are very good, and the over-the-top sacchariness of the opening scene is funny, it makes the Doctor look very self-absorbed to design such a subservient adoring famliy for himself that lives only to praise him.

When he invites B'Elanna and Kes to meet his holo family, B'Elanna calls him out on his gross old timey attitudes, and offers to adjust the program to be more realistic. When she does, and the Doctor gets confronted with children that argue and cry, and a spouse who has her own life outside of him, the Doctor clings to his weird 1950s attitudes and attempts to rule over them by telling them what they are and aren't allowed to do, which obviously doesn't work. Though it's a valuable lesson for the Doctor to learn, it feels anachronistic that he would have these attitudes to begin with, especially the edict that his holo son isn't allowed to have anymore Klingon friends- um, wtf?! I could understand if he'd said, 'you're not allowed to see these friends, specifically, because of your behavior when you're with them', but 'no Klingon friends, Klingons are bad and violent!' is just... insanely racist. The Federation has been allies with the Klingons for a while at this point- that someone would program a medical hologram with such backward attitudes, and that Starfleet would give it a pass, is just plain bad. Idk why Voyager displayed such crappy attitudes toward Klingons when Next Gen and DS9 spent so much time and effort expanding Klingon culture and lore so well. (My suspicion: misogyny. Worf's Klingonness was always something wonderful and noble that everyone respected, whereas B'Elanna's Klingonness was often presented as an obstacle to be overcome. The message is very clear: it's cool for men to be Klingon, but for women it's 'too much'. Smells like sexism to me.)

Meanwhile, the rest of the crew is busy investigating a series of spacial anomalies in the hopes of harvesting some energy from them. In the middle of this, we have a cute scene in the mess hall where Tom catches B'Elanna reading a romance novel, and decides to read it too, so he'll know what she's into in the future. (Knowing Tom, he'd probably dress up and roleplay it with her- idk why Tom has so many haters, he's doing it right! If I met someone who'd read my silly escapist romance fiction so they could better act out my fantasies with me, I'd marry them on the spot!) They have a Bogie-and-Bacall-ish exchange of very obvious double entendres, but their cute flirty scene is interrupted by the appearance another spacial anomaly. Back on the bridge, they try to figure out how to get close enough to it to collect the energy without damaging Voyager.

Tom ends up taking a shuttle, and getting trapped in the eye of the anomaly, which has some gorgeous visual effects that look like a glowing sunset. It's one of the best cgi effects they've done. His shuttle is nearly destroyed on the way out, but Voyager gets him out with only minor injuries, which send him to sick bay. The Doctor gives him an angry lecture about his reckless thrill seeking, and Tom realizes that the Doctor is upset about something other than him. He admits to Tom that his holographic daughter suffered an injury playing Parises Squares, and is about to die. The Doctor shut down the program and plans not to go back ever again. Tom once again steps up with compassion and insight that he rarely gets credit for, and tells the Doctor that if he wants to truly understand what family means, he has to take the bad as well the good. He urges him not to give up on the program and end up stuck in that moment forever, but to face it, and say goodbye to his daughter, and find solace in grieving with his family, the same way the Voyager crew find strength and comfort in adversity together.

The Doctor goes back, and it's one of the most utterly heartbreaking death scenes you will ever see in any Star Trek episode. The child actress who plays his daughter does an absolutely amazing job portraying her fear and panic so convincingly, I cannot watch her without crying. The Doctor shows the most genuine concern and sensitive bedside manner he's ever displayed to anyone as he tells her that she's dying, and stays by her side. His wife and son come to be with her too, and the three of them are there together when she dies. It doesn't matter that they're holograms, it's an unbearably painful scene, wherein the Doctor learns an extremely hard lesson about what living a real life means. The episode ends on the three of them crying over her body, and it's just... a lot. It's so sad, and it's such an emotional wallop to end on that. This is one of those ones you really have to take a bit of time to emotionally recover from afterward.

The one thing that takes away from the ending is knowing the Doctor doesn't continue with his family program ever again after this. I get why they didn't, from a Doylist perspective- it would be a lot more work to add two more characters to give him the wife and son throughout the show, but it feels like a bit of a let down that the Doctor abandons it after fighting so hard to get through the worst of it. Still, it's an important character study piece for him. I'm just not sure I want to be that emotionally devastated for the sake of the Doctor's character development, which I actually feel kind of stagnated, and even went backwards, over the run of the show.

Tl;dr: This story was well acted and had some good things to say, but I feel like it didn't actually do enough to make the Doctor a better person to justify the emotional wallop it hits us with at the end. Well done, but a downer.

[newwwwusername]

Heartbreak High (Netflix Reboot) - Ant/Spider - Mental Health Awareness Month Prompt 8 : Antisocial Personality Disorder

Prompt : Write a fic in which a character has Antisocial Personality Disorder (canon or not canon). THE CHARACTER CANNOT BE A SERIAL KILLER OR OTHER TYPE OF CRIMINAL! This is a negative connection with the disorder which is not what we're trying to do here. Headcanon : Spider has ASPD Author's note : The author does not have ASPD. I have very low empathy Autism so I understand the lack of empathy to an extent, but I know that doesn't equate to actually having the disorder. I hope this does not come across as insensitive or inaccurate- Please let me know if there is something off here because I always strive to educate myself. With that said, I hope this is passable <3

Spencer had been avoiding Anthony, and Anthony didn't know why. They'd been as close as ever just the previous week. What had happened?

It wasn't out of the ordinary for Spencer to do stuff like this, to be clear. He did this often with new people when he was still getting a read on them, manipulating the situation, testing them before he got close enough for them to realize what was so different about his brain. But Anthony wasn't a new person. They'd known each other for years... Why was this happening?

thebigant : spider pls stop ignoring me bro

There were about a million texts like that. It was a wall of blue message bubbles on Anthony's end and white on Spencer's. He knew that Spencer was ignoring him too, because all of the messages were marked as read.

Spencer stood a few feet from his bed, just staring blankly at his phone, which was open on his bed. He saw the typing bubble show up again and groaned in annoyance because this whole thing was so frustrating.

Anthony was always such a weird case for him because he didn't view him with the same apathy that he viewed everyone and everything else in the world. He actually cared about Anthony, to an extent, and recently that care had traveled to something a bit more serious and he didn't know how to deal with it because he never thought he'd have to.

He'd accepted long ago that he wasn't a people person. Why did Anthony make him feel this way?

A full week passed without them speaking when, eventually, Spencer figured he should break the silence.

whitespider : hi

thebigant : dude wtf y were u ignorng me for like a week hello??

thebigant : *ignoring

whitespider : idk

thebigant : i call bullshit

thebigant : is this like an aspd thing?

thebigant : u know its ok but u gotta like communicate bro i cant just be confused and wonderng y ur ignoring me for days on end

whitespider : right sorry whatever

thebigant : so y'd u vanish?

whitespider : ...

thebigant : SPIDER

whitespider : i think i like you

whitespider : like genuinely

whitespider : and not just in the friend way

...

thebigant : shit

Do not repost on other sites! If you want to participate in this month's challenge, there are 15 mental illness prompts that you can find here