#idiots absolute total IDIOTS

[strangerstilinski]

can you pretty please do [intimidation] with eddie

🥺👉👈

[INTIMIDATION] sender, in an effort to frighten the receiver by invading their personal space, sits in their lap to try and inspire discomfort or fear in them.

cw: alcohol consumption, fem!reader, sort of enemies -> lovers (but actually idiots -> lovers), 2.4k

dividers by @strangergraphics

You're blocking the doorway into the Harrington kitchen, shoulder leaned against the wood panelling where you have a good view into the living room. Your unimpressed glare is drawn from the figure currently hogging the sofa when someone bumps into you just as you're bringing the plastic cup in your hand to your lips.

"Jesus, fucking watch it-" The outrage in your tone fades quick when you see who's run into you.

"Sorry." Jonathan grimaces as he watches you wipe a bit of juice and vodka from your chin.

"No, it's fine," You sigh and turn on your heel, following Jonathan into the kitchen as he begins to grab things to make himself a drink, though it appears to be far more lemon-lime soda and grenadine than anything else. "Sorry, I just.. I dunno, sorry." You shrug before gulping down another mouthful of your own admittedly strong drink. You're kind of hoping that once your buzz kicks in you'll feel just a little less like there's a storm cloud floating right above your head.

"What is with you, tonight?" Jonathan asks with an overly cautious smile, "I haven't seen Munson bug you even once, so it's gotta be somethin' else-"

"Nothing," You huff, a little defensive at just the mention of the other boy, "I'm fine."

"Oh yeah, totally," Jonathan chuckles and raises his newly acquired drink in a salute, "You're like a ray of sunshine tonight."

It's annoying as hell, but he's right. You're fuming and Eddie has yet to even speak to you. He's been avoiding you like the plague from the moment you walked through the door, as if Eddie could somehow sense that you were already in a mood, and he didn't feel like getting told off for being the reason that you finally snapped.

Because normally, Eddie would've found at least seven ways he could irritate you by now. He'd have finished the last of the juice he saw you eyeing for your next mixed drink and laughed maniacally when you pouted about it. He'd have pestered you about whether you might want to join in on another campaign, all while making a handful of little comments about just how easy it'll be for him to decimate your character when you do. He'd have watched you shiver while you passed a joint back and forth by the pool, and then draped his stupid jacket around your shoulders just so he could roll his eyes and give you shit about not dressing warmly enough.

Eddie was infuriating — And the worst part was that he knew it. The asshole thrived on pushing buttons and testing people's limits, but tonight evidently he'd been able to tell that you were already toeing dangerously close to yours and had steered clear altogether.

You peer back out into the living room now, narrowed eyes zeroing back in on the figure sprawled across the entire length of the loveseat, socked feet kicked up on the opposite cushion where someone else could be sitting if he weren't such a selfish prick.

"God, what an asshole." You grumble, downing the last of your drink and grabbing the nearest bottle to begin mixing another. "I mean, look at him, seriously. Does he have to take up the whole couch?"

Jonathan's gaze follows the path your own had taken moments before, and he snorts in amusement, "Eddie."

It's not a question, but you answer him as if it had been.

"Yes, Eddie." Another quick glance up into the living room has your eyes locking with the man in question just as his name falls from your lips.

Eddie's eyes go wide, his cheeks dimpling with his sudden grin. He jabs his index finger into his chest, lips moving silently around the words, "Who? Me?"

"Uh-huh.. Why don't you go do something about it?" Jonathan teases.

Eddie's attention is pulled away when Gareth says something from his spot in an armchair. Whatever he says it gets Eddie riled up and he's immediately talking animatedly, hands gesturing wildly as he speaks.

"Maybe I will." You're already moving with purpose, halfway out of the kitchen when you hear your friend shout after you.

"I was joking!"

"Well I'm not!" You call back over your shoulder.

It's darker as you step into the living room, overhead lights off in favor of utilizing the warmer glow from the the lamp tucked away in the corner. You have to step over Eddie's discarded shoes at the foot of the sofa, and the boy very nearly knocks your drink out of your hand when you step in front of him, too distracted by his own tirade to have seen your approach.

But his head snaps up toward you as your thigh brushes his arm. Whatever he's been saying, the words cut off abruptly at the realization of who it is standing beside him.

"Well hey there, princess." He shoots you a toothy grin — You assume it's meant to be charming, but it only irritates you further. "To what do we owe the pleasure of your company?"

You ignore Eddie in favor of casting a small smile of apology toward Gareth, "Sorry to interrupt."

"Nah, no worrie-"

"No, no! You didn't interrupt. We were done." Eddie cuts his friend off, "Gareth was just telling me he was gonna go take a piss, actually."

Gareth splutters for a moment, but when his eyes shift from you to Eddie he's suddenly rising from his chair. You watch Gareth shake his head as he steps around you before he stalks off without a word.

"What was that about?" You can't help but ask in curiosity.

"Beats me. Really had to piss, I guess." Eddie says quickly, sitting up a little straighter against the arm of the couch. He throws an arm out to gesture to Gareth's recently vacated chair, "Did you wanna-"

Rather than taking advantage of the empty seat, you plop yourself across Eddie's thighs unceremoniously, feeling oddly satisfied by the huff of surprise that escapes him when your weight is suddenly in his lap.

The way the warmth of his body seeps into your own is near immediate, even through two layers of denim. Your arm presses into his chest as you lean back into the cushion of the sofa, trying and failing to remain unaffected by his proximity. He smells infuriatingly good this close, clean and masculine with just a lingering hint of the weed he'd smoked earlier in the night. It makes your stomach flutter wildly, makes your head swim for half a second before you're lifting your cup to your mouth in an effort to compose yourself.

Eddie huffs softly and his breath fans out over your exposed shoulder, warm and smelling faintly of cheap beer and menthols. Goosebumps prickle along the length of your arm, hairs standing on end suddenly. You wish you could convince yourself that your body's reaction were one of repulsion, but deep down you know that its something far, far worse than that.

"You.. You're just gonna.. sit.. here?" Eddie asks, voice a little wobbly, unsure.

His knuckles brush your thigh, likely an accident, but one sidelong glare has his hand retreating to the relative safety of the couch cushion in a flash.

"Yep."

You can see outside to the patio from your position, and you focus your attention to the group sitting with their feet in the pool. The sheer amount of effort it takes to keep your eyes trained there, rather than allowing them to drift to where Eddie's hand twitches near your knee-

"Do- Did you want me to move my legs? Do you want-" He shifts underneath you like he's ready to pull his feet from the cushion at the other end, but you remain resolutely in place.

"Nope, I'm good."

You have absolutely no plans of moving any time soon. You'd remain seated right here in Eddie's lap until his bladder was ready to burst, until your weight made his legs fall asleep and tingle from lack of blood flow, until he was ready to grab you by your hips and force you into another seat.

He'd learn his lesson. The inconsiderate couch-hogging asshole.

"O..kay." Eddie says slowly, wiping his palm on the side of his own denim-clad hip, as if his hands might've gotten a little sweaty.

Were you making him warm? Good.

"So.." Eddie pauses. You catch a glimpse of his face scrunching in thought at the corners of your vision before he continues, "Any big plans for the weekend?"

With how close you're sat, Eddie is speaking almost directly into your ear. There's no need for him to raise his voice to be heard, and you find that the low rumble of it is nice, soothing almost. It curls around your ears and sends something warm shooting down your spine.

"Killing boys." You return dryly, eyes straining now in an effort to remain focussed on what's going on in the backyard.

Eddie snorts, body jolting underneath you with his amusement — And his almost-laughter absolutely does not make your chest flush with pride. You couldn't care less whether or not Eddie Munson finds you funny. As if.

"Oh, so nothing out of the ordinary for you then."

Eddie chuckles and the tip of his thumb finds its way to the place where your thigh presses into his. You can't tell if it's accidental or on purpose, but the gentle press of his finger maybe kind of makes your stomach flip pleasantly, so you allow it. Whatever.

You hum in agreement, "Yeah, well. There's almost always some boy who deserves it."

"I don't doubt it," Eddie murmurs with a wide grin, his head tipped sideways over the back of the couch, cheek nearly brushing your shoulder now, "Anyone I know currently at the top of your list, madame assassin?"

"There is this one asshole." You pause to take a sip of your drink, fighting off a grimace at the awful liquor to juice ratio. "He's loud. And irritating. Just loves getting on my last nerve-"

"Long hair?"

The interruption has your eyes rolling, "Yep. Walks around looking like some Van Halen wannabe."

"Oh, he sounds cool."

You can practically hear the smirk in his voice now.

"Well he's not." You return blankly. "He's always trying to get a rise outta me, acting like a total prick-"

"Hold on, hold on-" Eddie cuts you off again, "Now I'm not so sure we're on the same page. Thought I knew who you were talkin' about, but-"

"Oh, you know him." You grumble, sinking farther into the plush cushion on the back of the couch with your drink clutched to your chest. "You know him well, trust me."

Eddie shifts beneath you, angling both himself and you until he's taking up more of your line of sight than the patio doors. His big brown eyes bore into you until you crack and flick your gaze toward him.

"Here's the thing.." Eddie starts, the pad of his thumb stroking the seam on the outside of your knee. "Maybe this guy's just pushing your buttons because he likes when all of your attention is on him-"

The arm he has thrown over the back of the couch by your shoulder moves then, brushing your hair back from your temple only to backtrack and trail the pads of his fingers featherlight over the space between your brows.

"-Maybe.. Shit, I dunno, maybe he likes the way your eyebrows come together when you're angry-"

Your heart is beating so loud you can hear the blood pumping in your ears. The urge to fidget under his attention is strong, but you sit at still as possible in fear of breaking the spell. You have to strain to hear Eddie's next words over the dull whoosh of your heartbeat echoing in your skull.

"Maybe he thinks you look kinda devastatingly beautiful-"

"You-" And, fuck. Did your voice just crack? "You're trying to tell me you think this guy is, what? Being a dick because he likes me? Pulling my pigtails on the playground and shit?"

Eddie's grin is less cocky than you've ever seen it. His lips twitch at one side of his mouth. He almost looks nervous.

You take a deep breath as his fingers skim over your jaw on their way back toward your hair, where he pinches a small lock between two fingers and tugs twice, oh-so gentle.

"What if he was?" Eddie asks softly, "Being a dick because he likes you, I mean."

"I'd tell you he's an idiot." You manage, plastic cup crinkling under the increased pressure of your hand.

Eddie winces, but nods and averts his gaze. His arm falls to the back to the sofa again, close enough for you to feel the warmth of it beside your shoulder.

"But.." You have to swallow down a smile when Eddie's wide eyes snap right back to yours. "Maybe this idiot's attraction isn't totally one-sided. So, maybe he should stop being an asshole and try making a move."

Eddie blinks. Once, then twice. He squares his shoulders and leans in like he might kiss you, but then he backs off again and searches your eyes as if he's terrified he might be reading the entire situation wrong.

"Eddie." You whisper sharply, "The idiot is you, asshole."

"Oh, Jesus Christ, thank god."

And then his fingers are curled gently around the back of your neck. His hand is fully grasping your opposite thigh as he tries to drag you impossibly closer. His plush lips are pressing softly into your own, the taste of beer mixing with vodka and citrus.

It's a quick kiss, chaste. Your mouths only remain glued together for all of three seconds before he's leaning back just enough to watch you blink at him from beneath heavy lashes. You can't imagine how stupidly docile you look; brows pushed up your forehead, chest nearly heaving beneath your shirt, jaw slack, lips parted and waiting for more. It's pathetic how he's managed to turn you into this with just one G-Rated kiss.

The hand on the back of your neck moves to your face, fingertips tracing the smooth line of your brow before trailing back down to cup your cheek.

"Yeah.. Yeah, this is nice too." Eddie murmurs, "You're awful pretty when you're mad, but this.. This right here is somethin' else."

"You're so annoying." It comes out airy, absolutely no bite to your words.

"Oh, that's not changing, sweetheart. Matter of fact, I think it's a part of our spark. Gotta keep the fire burning, right? I'll keep annoying you, you'll keep getting angry-"

"Would you just shut up and kiss me again?"

Eddie grins, already leaning in, "Sure thing."

[artiswhatartdoes]

none of the other robins will ever know the struggles jason todd had to go through with a just-quit-robin dick grayson

inspired by this great comic and that one arrested development joke

[anpanman95]

so this clip belongs here actually

been crying over this for the past hour and a half, thanks

[hydrosovreign]

Neuvillette when discussing the trap they want to set up for Furina: I don't want this trap to hurt her in any way. A gentle trap, one that will bring her no harm. *the "trap" literally breaking Furina apart* Neuvillette, putting on his clown shoes & nose upon receiving her death sentence: According to the judgement of-

[wheredidalltheusersgo]

Alegeoff…🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️

Booyah

[stardustinthesky]

Not you. And not Superman.

[total-drama-brainrot]

father ophelia. i need ur multi paragraph analysis on how camning date would happen. who would ask who out

Camning is such a weird pair to consider as an actual couple instead of two mutually pining idiots because I can't in good faith say that either of them would ever admit to having feelings for the other.

Don't get me wrong, Cameron isn't the type to suppress or deny his feeings or anything - in fact he'd be ecstatic at the prospect of having a crush on someone, because it's yet another wordly experience he's been deprived of his whole life that he's living for the first time. And that's exactly the issue; Cameron has no idea how to go about expressing these things, save for whatever romance based literature/tv shows he was exposed to growing up and, knowing Cameron, he'd be more than aware that they doesn't exactly portray a realistic perspective on real-life relationships. So he's back to square one when it comes to knowledge on how to deal with his feelings.

Which would mean he'd be the type to go completely non-verbal in front of Lightning, or otherwise be a stuttering mess. A pathetic puddle of a boy who has no idea how to deal with these new, weird feelings save for whispering "oh no he's hot" to himself.

On the other hand, Lightning is extremely prideful. Extremely prideful. He'd be completely in denial about having a crush on Cameron of all people because he's the antithesis of everything Lightning holds in high regard; Cameron isn't athletic or strong, he's not outwardly headstrong or competitive (at first glance, though Cameron does have a spine hidden somewhere in that red hoodie) and Lightning wouldn't see Cameron as someone who could relate to him in any way. Keep in mind, Lightning's a bit of an egotist, so he'd be under the assumption that his ideal partner would be a reflection of himself.

And Lightning isn't very bright, despite his namesake, so he wouldn't realise that's exactly why he likes Cameron so much. He's impressed by Cameron's fountain of knowledge and keen intellect. He's astounded by how Cameron can use his wit and his determination to win challenges without having to brute forcing his way to victory. He thinks Cameron is adorable and experiences cuteness aggression every time they lock eyes. So on so forth.

So with Cameron's Cameronness and Lightning's staunch denial, there's only one way these two would ever get together.

Lightning accidentally confesses.

Be it through an insult gone wrong during the competition, or maybe a freudian slip in a conversation post-RotI, or even him just plain denying any feelings for Cameron unprompted and inadvertantly outing himself as a Cameron Liker through his defensiveness. Either way, Cameron hears this confirmation of returned feelings and all of the knowledge he's accrued from his mother's books/shows comes in swinging - he asks Lightning to have dinner with him. And surprisingly, Lightning accepts.

...Because it's free food, not because he likes the wimp. That's his excuse.

And the two hit it off. Cameron spends the whole first date sweating profusely but miraculously not putting his foot in his mouth. Though he does oftentimes get too technical and booksmart for Lightning to understand what he's saying, but Lightning nods along politely anyway because he finds the enthusiasm on Cameron's face endearing.

In turn, Lightning's initial jibing insults (which, subconciously, he's only really using to keep up appearences) peter off into genuine compliments as he realises that wow, he actually really enjoys spending time with Cameron, and Cameron is really smart but not condecending in the slightest when he asks for elaboration on things he doesn't understand, and Cameron's got a lot of interesting thoughts that he's never considered, and...

Lightning realises that he might be very, very gay for Cameron.

In turn, Cameron's almost vibrating with excitement because he's talking to Lightning, and Lightning is talking back, and there's this natural chemistry between them that even he in all of his inexperience can feel sparking in the air now that Lightning's walls of superiority have finally crumbled somewhat. He's on a date with the boy he likes and it's going really well.

(None of his research could've prepared him for the actual experience of a first date - and oddly enough, Cameron is thankful that he didn't have any preconceived expectations for the night.)

The night goes well, they eat food at some fancy restaurant that Cameron pays for with his winnings, and as they go to leave Lightning - because he's not one to be outshone in the competitive context of being a "good date haver" - gives Cameron a peck at the corner of his mouth. It's brief, a ghost of an action really, but it's enough to have Cameron visibly light up as he returns the favour.

-

At some point after they've been going on these dates for a while (Lightning more often than not taking Cameron to various sports games "for the experience", and Cameron indulging Lightning by taking him on hikes whilst he studies the wildlife they come across, ect ect) they breach the topic of being boyfriends in an awkward but sweet conversation that Lightning spends the next few months poking fun at Cameron for.

[nyenylon]

W.H.I.D. is the story of my experience with maladaptive daydreaming until it's not and then it's about how to get all the interdimensional queers to work in Spar

Anyway casual Will outfits because Ireland wouldn't support the Tumblr sexyman look so now he gets Fat face™ gitup:

[grinchwrapsupreme]

book runs based on tv shows are usually mediocre at best, like star trek, torchwood, doctor who, etc etc, but i would give anything to get a book run of the BBC Ghosts hotel i need to know what shenanigans those guys get up to in there

[i-hatethisgoat]

queen songs that give off major aziracrow

for all of ur ineffable playlist needs!

disclaimer: this post was definitely not written by the bentley

as a former queen obsessed teenager who discovered good omens through queen back in 2019, i've been hearing aziraphale and crowley in every other queen song i listen to. so, i might as well put it to good use. enjoy songs and lyrics that broke me.

(ps. i'm not including the songs used in the show or book, or anything super obvious, because i'm pretty sure no one needs me to explain why good old fashioned lover boy and love of my life are aziracrow)

long away (a day at the races, 1976)

snake eye theory bitches come get ur juice.

this song reminds me of crowley’s general angst and trauma. his complicated relationship with heaven, not believing in it as an institution, but marvelling at the beauty of the stars, of aziraphale.

other parts of the song also feel to me like someone overcoming the pain they experienced in the past, finding a better future. this is endgame for both of them.

dreamer's ball (jazz, 1978)

this is another crowley being sad song. it's about yearning for your lost love, going to sleep and dreaming of them.

the dancing comment is very 2x05, but the second chorus really conveys the desperate and intense love that aziracrow has.

i can't live with you (innuendo, 1991)

this is so miscommunication and codependency season 2 gave us. they are just falling apart without each other, but need to be separated to get over their shit. with a little dash of religious symbolism? i am obsessed.

the millionaire waltz (a day at the races, 1976)

the aziraphale vibes are off the charts in terms of instrumentals (and then brian may comes swooping in gloriously with his guitar). this song finds love and wealth in simple material things. human things, one might say. there's also references to dancing, holding hands, lovers in the rain, music, etc.

it also yearns for lost love, wishing a former lover to come back to them. this reads to me as aziraphale wishing for crowley to join him in heaven, where they can truly be happy together.

it also gives off very go-heaven vibes, being just slightly too upright and proper, almost to the point of being sinister.

my melancholy blues (news of the world, 1977)

this is just crowley post-every. (also crowley in the bar in 2x05.)

some day one day (queen ii, 1974)

a lot of this song's lyrics are hopeful. the first verse is about being heard, finally (the music being loud reminds me of the nightingale not being actually heard in 1x06). crowley is finally able to confess, but they still cannot be together. yet.

the final verse reflects on this concept. when they were younger ("young" means nothing to eternal beings but whatever), prefall and post-not-apocalypse, they were so close to being together. but still, they're not there yet.

but they will come home. south downs will happen. some day.

bonus: love me like there's no tomorrow by freddie mercury (mr. bad guy, 1985)

that feeling when you know you and your lover have drifted apart, but you try to fix it all by taking them in your arms and kissing them, even though you know deep down that you will never be loveable, but you still hold onto the hope that it might be enough.

that's all, hope you enjoyed!

here's my good omens playlist, if anyone is interested in listening:

(i know i said i wouldn't talk about songs that were in the show or book, but i want to give a particular shout out to it's a hard life.

also, for the record: goflb is crowley coded, and killer queen is aziraphale coded.)

[nexus-nebulae]

so like. the last of the Paradox crew that we introjected is finally reaching the end of their fronting cycle that was way longer than anyone else's and. wow did not expect That Many of them to be the ones mostly in charge of collective memory and internal protection? we're forgetting More Stuff bc we don't have Percy constantly popping in to provide some system history

[kingwolfie08]

short king real!!!

oh look- two drawings in one day. thats a first.

[detective-piplup]

I don’t explore enough comedic, dorky and adorable fireknight to balance out the amount of tragedy I see in them. btw do not look at the tags again

[jmkho]

JUST WONNA QUICKLY SAY IF YOU'RE WORRIED ABOUT THE AGE OF THE IDIOT BEHIND INCORRECTGVFQUOTES & WHO IS HELPING ELLE FERNANDA WORK OUT HOW TUMBLR WORKS, DON'T BE.... 👁👄👁

[evilgirlboob]

honestly this might not sound right but im happier when i see genuine allies then when i see other trans people like yeah congrats my dude and u go girl but like your kinda just another random person in the same (or worse) predicament as me. that sad. you cant help it i mean ik you could be an activist but still as awesome as you even existing as what you are is its...... it doesnt feel like things are actually getting better but when i see an ally that feels like uh. evidence that things are actually getting better? if that makes sense?? like, a trans person is trans regardless-- they might not be out, but no matter what they are what they are allies or only allies because they chose to be. obv conditions lead to them choosing to be, but they still did i dont just mean ppl TOLERATING trans ppl i mean actual active allies idk i might just be a moron

also sidenote cis people like to listen to other cis people more than us so cis allies are REALLY helpful in that regard

same kinda goes for allies in other groups??? but like-- not, speaking FOR the minority group theyre an ally of, but like, just getting someone who wouldnt pause and listen TO pause and listen

does that make any sense

[treefey]

So against my better judgement because I'm being driven insane, I'm gonna talk about my experience being a female martial artist in coed spaces.

I spar whoever is there. Most of the time that's men. Who are bigger than me. I've still kicked some in the head. These are moving targets who are actively trying to not be hit at all. Who are also trying to hit me. Pictures from my black belt testing show a man basically fleeing from me. I've had men who compete in tournaments tell me it's exhausting to spar me because I don't let up.

I've been hurt by men and women. Sure, the one actual "get thee to a doctor" injury was from a man, but the one scar I have is from a woman. That scar will be there till my skin decomposes and returns to the earth.

(I also want to be very clear that we are not supposed to hurt each other. But we are supposed to hit each other. So we have all bruised each other. And we've all held targets for each other, so we know how hard we're capable of hitting) Everyone trains to maximize their advantages and minimize their disadvantages. You get good at what you train for. Like yes, very long humans have long limbs. Shorter people work to stay inside their range the entire spar.

But even aside that, people think an actor who lifts weights is going to win in a fight against a woman who served in the military because he looks manly and she looks cute. Which... exercising with the purpose of killing people is way different than exercising to look a certain way. (Also implies said actor wants to fight people, which is rude)

Also, you can be strongest person in the world and still die because a flowerpot fell on your head. You can be the "best" athlete and still lose a game. It's not video game stats or an RPG. A well aimed or badly controlled kick will break ribs. Life is an equation with infinite, dynamic variables.

I know this isn't the popular conversation right now. I know recreational martial arts isn't the same as sports. But there are parallels. And my two cents as someone who regularly gets hit by and also hits men is something, at least.