#idc if it's been delayed

[eiichiro]

— this is kurouzu-cho, where i grew up... i would like to share with you... the strange events that took place here.

UZUMAKI ✴ CREATED BY ITOU JUNJI

[j4r-of-flies]

I’ve had the worst day ever I came home early because I was dying all I need is a big hug from my moots in these trying times ❤️‍🩹

[casstelli]

do we think njosten’s an airport expert guys. do we think when he and the foxes go on trips he’s like “oh ew charles de gaulle international airport. i hate this one.” do we think he’s memorized the tsa procedures for like a billion different airports so he can go through faster. do we think he has pre rehearsed answers to all questions asked at customs and all documents necessary prepared

[layalu]

Screw you wacom ughhhh

[snekdood]

you will never be able to take me out of who i am 😌

[cherrychilli]

18+

Soft Perv! Steve x AFAB reader

Idk how else to say this. Steve shaves reader's 🐱

A/N: I feel like he'd be into that. Actually, I'm pretty damn sure he would be. Fight me idc.

You could barely see above the brown paper bags crowding your arms as you lugged your groceries inside and heaved them onto the counter in a single trip. Noting the time with a quick glance at the kitchen clock, you grimace when you see that you're running late.

You knew Steve wouldn't have minded. He would forgive you being a little behind schedule but it was you who was feeling impatient tonight. You were looking forward to it. A simple night in together, order some dinner, watch a movie and hopefully, more. You didn't like the idea of missing a moment of it. Darting back and forth, you deposited your newly purchased frozen foods and vegetables in the the refrigerator in a flurry, leaving the nonperishables behind to be put away later. Steve would be arriving soon and you were yet to shower and get changed, still cursing under your breath about getting held up at the understaffed grocery store. You make sure to leave the front door unlocked for him, figuring you could jump into the shower and be ready without keeping him waiting for too long if you hurried.

You tip your head back under the running showerhead, letting the warm spray wash away your shampoo, pomegranate and black current wafting from your lathered locks and clinging to the fine mist fogging up the room. The soft foam glides down your back and freshly shaved legs, joining the water at your feet and spirals down the drain. You're about to reach for the razor sitting on your shower niche when three gentle knocks against your bathroom door alerts you to your boyfriend's arrival.

You step out of the tub carefully without toweling off, padding over to the door to inch it open enough for your face to peer through. "Hi", you greeted him with an apologetic smile, wiping the water away from your brow. "I'm so sorry but could you give me fifteen more minutes? I got held up". That's when you notice that Steve's still dressed in the same clothes he'd worn to work today, dark denim jeans that fit a little too well, making your eyes travel below his belt and a striped polo, now unobstructed by the dark green vest adorned with his nametag and the Family Video logo. "That's alright", he starts, referring to your delay. "Actually that works out, I didn't have time to stop at home. Mind if I join you? I could use a shower too".

You hesitate and he notices.

"What's wrong?", he asks, looking mildly concerned now. You'd showered together so many times before that it was hardly an unusual request for him to make.

Only this time you're a little caught off guard and just the slightest bit more embarrassed given what you were about to do in the shower. "Uh- it's just that I was about to shave", you explain hesitantly like that might suffice for an answer. You realize it didn't when he continues to look at you like you're yet to tell him what the problem was. "I don't mind", he answers when you don't say more. "It's a big tub. I wont get in your way" he adds, a little amused by your sudden nerves.

"Um- I mean, I was gonna shave...well, not my legs", you clarify, hoping he'll understand your roundabout explanation this time.

"Oh...", his brows raise, gaze lowering from your face and to the door that shielded you like he might be able to see right through it, see your body all soft and damp and trembling at the thought of showing him the places you felt too shy to reveal. You notice the glimmer in his eyes before they grow darker, his lips pulling into a soft smirk. "Can I help?"

You wondered if it might have been his attempt at a joke as you stood facing him in your tub, both of you nude, sharing a kiss as more of your shampoo washed away from his once perfectly quaffed hair and coiled down the drain until the water at your feet ran clear again. You knew for certain that it wasn't some sort of attempt at humor when your passionfruit scented body wash was cleared from your bodies next and your boyfriend pulled his lips away from where they'd been kissing down your neck, whispering against your ear underneath the running water. "Wanna lean back for me, baby? relax and let me take care of it?", he reaches between your legs, gently cupping your cunt, thumb brushing over the hair there in half circles.

You have to bite down the little whine creeping up the back of your throat as he caresses you, so tender yet somehow so lewd with his touches. "Steve...are you sure?", you peer at him through your lashes, dotted with tiny droplets.

"Are you?" he countered playfully, stroking your waist with his free hand until you answered first with a nod and then audibly with a palm smoothing over his matted chest hair. "Please".

Steve never insisted on having you shave. He had made it clear that he desired you no matter the state of you, showing just as much hunger, if not more on the days that you hadn't been able to spend some extra time in the tub with your razor. You had wanted to do it because it was your preference for the night and he was only happy to be the one to assist you with such an intimate task.

You leaned back against the end of the tub for him, porcelain cold and dewy on your back as you spread your legs and rested your ankles over each edge. He liked you like this, more than he could put into words, eyes unblinking as they fixed between your legs, opening up just for him. "I can't handle it when you look at me like that", you fussed lightly, more for the sake of seeking respite from the smoldering tension rather than a sincere complaint. His eyes flicked up to yours as he positioned himself between your thighs, looking amused by your little statement. "Like what?", he challenged you for an answer, knowing it would only fluster you even more having to explain what you meant.

You pout as heat collects in your cheeks.

"Looking at me really closely. Like...you're studying me."

Like you want to swallow me whole, you thought to yourself.

"How else am I supposed to look at you right now?", he chuckled, reaching for your purple razor and the little can of shaving cream. "Want me blindfolded?", he suggested jokingly. You shuddered at the thought. "No..." you concede. "Then I'm going to keep looking" he smoothed a palm over your inner thigh. "Need to see all of you if I'm going to do this right".

You're the one watching him closely now as he deposits a dime sized portion of the shaving cream onto his palm, reaching between your parted thighs to spread the creamy foam along your skin. Your legs tense and relax as he applies it gently and thoroughly, making sure to cover every inch needed. The cocky little smirk that had remained since his bout of light teasing begins to falter now. He seemed sure of himself until he drew his fingers away from the foam, washing them clean before pinching the razor between his fingers. "Where should I start?", he looks to you for guidance, waiting patiently for your instruction.

"Oh", you think of how you usually did it yourself, wanting to suggest a safe place for him to start. "Um, over here" you pointed your index finger at the top of your mound. "Maybe, work your way down?", you offered. He nods, looking completely focused as he aimed the razor at the spot you pointed out before slowly bringing it down. You release a breath you hadn't been aware that you were holding when the blades glide smoothly over your skin, a stripe of freshly shaved skin emerging as the foam wipes away with the first stroke. "How was that?", he checked as he pulled the razor away, deep brown eyes flicking up to meet yours. "Great, keep going", you encouraged him, toes curling at the strange yet alluring reality of what you're letting him do to you.

You didn't have to guide him much after that, only sneaking looks at him as he continued. Damp locks of his hair hung over his hungry eyes, the undivided attention he gave you making your belly feel warm. Nearing the end, he runs his fingers along each area in search of any hair he might have missed. His digits trace your inner folds, thumb skimming your clit, spreading you open occasionally. You suspected those touches had little to do with making sure he'd accomplished a clean shave but you say nothing, entranced and a little breathless at how well he's handling you.

Keep touching me there, you almost let slip, teething at your bottom lip to keep yourself quiet.

"Christ, you're pretty", he mumbles under his breath, spying the slick that had begun to drip from you. You're unaware of it, naively thinking you've managed hide how turned on you've become as he swipes his thumb over your entrance lightly, wetting it with you. He subdues a laugh at the thought of you all embarrassed, trying to argue that you were entirely unaffected and that he'd mistaken the clear residue for water. The distinct slippery texture as he rubs his index finger over his thumb confirmed otherwise. He doesn't let on that he's noticed how wet you've become, placing the razor back on the niche to signal that he's finished.

You look over the remnants of shaving cream streaking your skin as he pulls the detachable showerhead off the holder and brings it between your thighs. He aims the warm spray above your mound, watching the leftover foam wash away from you. If you'd been looking at his face you might have noticed the way Steve's eyes flashed as he discreetly thumbed at the showerhead settings, finally acting on an idea he'd been sitting on for long enough. You gasp when the water turns from a gentle spray to a single stream with noticeably stronger pressure, positioning it right over your clit. "Steve!", you cry out, an electric pulse shooting through you at the surprise stimulation. "Do you like that?", he grins, a rhetorical question because of course you did. Anyone who'd heard your sultry cry of his name would know you liked it very much.

Your eyes are wide, mouth agape as he directs the stream of water away from your clit to hold your attention.

"I want to watch you cum", grin fading to show you that he's serious.

"That's fair, right? I did just help you out after all"

You don't bother reminding him that he was the one who had asked to help in the first place, not the other way around. "Y-yeah", you stutter out your response instead, surprise receding to make way for the need growing hot inside you. "Fuck- yes. Please Steve, make me cum".

He directs the stream back over your clit and your breath catches in your throat, toes curling as the pressure beats down on your swollen bundle of nerves.

"Just relax and let me take care of it", he reminds you, lips curving into a dangerous smile.

[omukat]

As promised here’s another Nightstar aka Mar’i Grayson drawing along with Ibn al xu’ffasch (Damian Wayne) !

I drew them together from the one panel from the nightstar comic where they are dancing bcs y not! And if you don’t like the paring plz refrain from commenting anything negative bcs at the end of the day they are just simply fictional characters and idc abt your opinion ¯\_(ツ)_/¯.

And I’m so sorry for the delay, life has been crazy these past few weeks :’)

I just needed to add this song here ! ;)

[lovelykhaleesiii]

Okay, first of all, you are amazing bb! Love ya 💟 Second of all, what about that kind of disturbing idea. So we have Aegon! College Au. He falls for a quiet straight A’s girl. His total opposite. Becomes so obsessed and crazy over her that fucks only girls that look like her and jerks off to her innocent eyes. So let’s say one night he sees her at the party all alone. A perfect opportunity to make her drunk and high enough to fuck and tie up to him. So when he discovers her being a virgin he straight away makes her date him and eventually has her to his own! That’s it! Have free will to make this stalker shit-head chubby! With some real good smut 😋

My Dream Girl...

PAIRING: chubby!FratBoy!Aegon ii Targaryen x fem!Stark!Reader [MODERN College AU]

WORDS: 2,526.

WARNINGS: possessive!Aegon ii, mentions of virginity/losing virginity, female receiving (fingering), mentions of p in v sexual intercourse, innocence kink, praise kink, slight manipulation, boob play, mentions of alcohol/alcohol consumption.

A/N - ahhh bestie, apologies for the delay in responding, but this idea had me frothing. I have such a weakness for the good girl x bad boy trope idc!!! thank you for sending this incredible idea in and trusting me to write it... hope I did it justice!

She was a comforting sight... An incomparable beauty who was ignorant to her own potential. His audacious mind often wandered of how weak she would feel beneath this bare touch, how warm her panting breath would feel against his flesh, how divine she would taste...

Y/N Stark was unlike any girl he had ever laid eyes on before: not the typical choice for his quick, promiscuous rendezvous', she was a different breed. She was meticulous and studious, barely ever hearing a peep from her in class, with the exception of being spontaneously called upon to answer a question. She diligently did so, and yet with a softness in her voice, he could barely hear her words. She was bright, top of the class in fact, and yet quite reserved. He never truly saw her speak to others willingly nor did she socialise outside of class, often finding her succumbed to the quiet and stillness of the library, buried in dense texts hidden in some desolate corner. And yet, that made him want her even more, an insatiable desire to take her there and then in that corner, or in class, on her desk, or by her locker... The thoughts frequented his mind more often than usual, and more sinful... Aegon often felt feverish if he allowed his mind to dwell for long.

And as revolting as it would be, he could only truly sate himself with females of a similar resemblance to Y/N. Uncanny at the very least, he would often bed with girls, avoiding to stare directly or for too long, as he feared that his mind would soon decipher the difference, and the reality that it still was not her... He was desperate to deceive himself. He even went so far as to gather photographs of Y/N, whatever he could get his measly, pudgy hands on, envisioning her lustful face, her helpless moans begging for more of his, as he would fervently stroke his own hard cock. Pining for her with each devious paw, breathlessly cursing beneath a whisper at his misfortune.

He knew that luck would run out soon: that some fellow, more deserving of Y/N would whisk her away... And who was to say she was not already taken?

No, no... He consumed: he would pursue her still, possess her and keep her safe from harm's way, from the relentless harm of some infirm boy undeserving of even just a mere ounce of her attention.. Aegon truly deserved her: he had been convinced he would be the only rightful man to spoil her with joy, the only man to please her and sate her every need and desire. Only the best treatment for his special, dream girl, and he was certain to uphold that by any means possible...

"Invite her, Aemond... I know she's your closest rival in Anatomy. Invite her and just make sure she attends the party-" "And what would I get in return, exactly? You do realise she's an utter loner? The odds of her even showing up are slim to-" "You either make sure she does, and I won't have to fucking tell everyone about how you really lost that fucking eye, hmm? You know the sore, pathetic way you lost that eye. Lose all your credit with the ladies, you might just end up the freak of the year."

There she stood, her curves wrapped tightly in a red, velvet fabric, a long-sleeve modest dress. Although her body was frigid, her doe eyes intensely scanning the neon lit, dim room, small hands fidgeting in her lap with not a drink in sight, she was here. Anxious, it made his heart flutter with some warming amusement, a low chuckle escaping him lips, as he skulled a mouthful of the cheap, bitter beer to muffle his spontaneous laugh. Although Lannister had been incessantly yapping away by his, gripping, pulling and leaning towards Aegon's heavier mass, as he defeatedly tried to speak against the overpowering music. Aegon's concentration was fixated elsewhere...

"Excuse me-" Aegon lowly interrupted Jason, before brushing his lanky arm off his broad shoulder: Jason momentarily caught off guard as he witnessed Aegon walking ahead, only spared a few seconds before continuing on his ramble with the group before him.

"That doesn't seem right for a pretty girl to be sitting all alone, by herself at a party-"

His tone deep, yet a chord above a whisper, substantial for you to make sense of his moving mouth. Aegon had never spoken, let alone uttered a word to you before… The sudden change in his behaviour, felt a wave of unease across your body, as your empty stomach churned nauseously. Not that you were the type to catch his eye, nor the type of “partner” he often pursued the needy company of. And yet, here he stood in all his glory before you: his height towered your own menacingly, and his build was much larger, a wider frame than most of the boys across the campus. Mayhaps, he was an ex jock, you couldn’t truly say.

Despite Aegon being widely known around campus, as a vivid party goer, you scarcely knew about him personally, other than whispering, corridor rumours.

You knew more about the ventures and intricate details of his cock, than his interests and hobbies, as most of the female body would often gossip about their run ins with him. Not that you were unimpressed or disgusted… It was all quite, invigorating.

“Earth to Y/N!-” A more grander octave than before, his roar managed to snap you back to reality, drawing your attention solely unto him, as he intently ogled at you, eyeing you from head to toe, with a friendly smile across his face… And yet, the smile made no difference to your unsettled mind.

“You alright? You seem a little… Tense?”

“I-uh- I’m just n-not used to parties, y'know?… A-And I’m certainly not u-used to you s-speaking to me.”

The shy stutter in her voice was enough to make Aegon's heart skip a beat. Adorable, he thought.

"Is that so? Have we really never spoken before?" He lightly chuckled, taking another tasteful swallow of his beverage.

"Not that I can recall... Do you even know my name, Aegon?"

A swirl of his immediate emotions from the pit of his stomach felt conflicting: on one hand it stung that she thought him ignorant and ill-mannered enough to not know her name... And yet, the pleasant sound of his name, uttered from her lips, was plenty to make his cock twitch with sheer excitement.

"Of course I do, Y/N. You don't think I would know the name of the prettiest girl in class?"

The heat of your cheeks was enough for you to know they were reddened by his words. The friendly smile strewed across Aegon's handsome face, stirred about an elating sensation, and yet your self-doubt trampled the feeling.

Was he doing this all as part of some ill-twisted joke? A dare invoked by his fellow frat-boys, in repayment for some meaningless reward? Or was he simply that desperate to get inside your pants, considering he had bedded most of the female body...

"Aegon, stop it. I-I know what you're getting at... Just think outside of yourself, just this once. I'm not up for some stupid game-"

Just as your foot was inclined to take a brave step forward, a large, firm grip around your elbow kept you stationary.

"Hey-Hey, who said this was a game? I-I've been wanting to talk to you for a while now, Y/N... I guess I was just... Afraid."

Your plump mouth fallen agape, as your eyes widened in a titillating disbelief. Instead of taking the step forward, you took one back, taking Aegon's fascinating presence in.

"Y-You're afraid of me? The frat-boy of the campus is afraid of m-me?"

It was amusing on your behalf now: witnessing a grown, monumental figure that Aegon was strolling mindlessly around campus, unable to maintain eye contact as his unmoving gaze now fell to his shuffling feet.

"W-Well I just think you're beautiful, and you're incredibly smart. Definitely, too smart for the likes of me. Just don't think I would ever get a chance with you."

Once again, your meek body felt feverish as you were certain the evidence was plastered across your reddened, grinning face.

"You still think you got a chance, big boy?"

How the night had escalated in what felt like a mere span of an hour, you could not gather with certainty... Your mind clouded in clear judgement, slightly faint and tipsy, the earliest memory you could reminisce was a blend of pure laughter, gentle touching with Aegon, as he continued to pour your drinks.

You found yourself, in the intimate, privacy of his slightly unkempt dorm. He had adamantly kicked the previous couple out, as he reassuringly held your hand in his, leading you to follow his steps. Charmingly, you ended up comfortably sat atop Aegon's thick, sprawled lap.

"Fuck, you're beautiful-"

Aegon's rough hand reached towards your neck, gently stroking aside your loose strands, his handsome face leaning towards you until his plump lips softly fell onto your tender skin.

"Easy, Aeg-"

Immediately, Aegon pulled himself away, meeting your gaze with a furrowed brow.

"What's wrong, Princess?"

"I-I've just had a few to drink, and don't think this is the right thing to be doing... I-I've never really done this before, either," You reluctantly whisper, your fidgeting hands stopped, as Aegon's fingers entwined with yours, caressing your soft skin.

"As in you've never hooked up with anyone?"

"As in I-I'm-ugh-I'm-"

"It's okay, Y/N. Whatever you say, baby, stays with me."

Your busty chest [thanks to the supportive push-up bra], heaved with a final, deep breath, buying the time to build your final push of courage.

"I'm a virgin, Aeg... I-I've never done this before," Shyly you admit, as you place a loose strand behind your ear, still avoiding any ounce of eye contact with Aegon's piercing gaze: his lilac orbs did wonders.

"Y/N, princess... You have no reason to be ashamed, sweetheart. I find that quite attractive actually. I won't push it, if you don't want to, I can wait-"

"R-Really? You wouldn't think of me outdated?"

The handsome grin that made you somewhat uneasy upon your first encounter, now felt comforting. His plump lips that looked desirable, now you could taste against your own, as Aegon found his way, pummelling down against your lip-gloss stained mouth into a passionate kiss.

"How could I ever? You are the most previous thing I've ever held in these arms... How could I rush to perfection?"

In the weeks to progress, you often would pinch yourself, inflicting some pain to make certain this was your reality.

Aegon made every humane effort to ensure you knew how infatuated he was with you, how dear you were to him, and how raw his love was towards you.

He never manipulated nor pressured you into sex: taking it slow and steady, easing you into a few heated make-out sessions, although seizing his lust before things escalated.

He admired just how untainted you were, almost saint-like: adding more remarkable value to your rarity. The idea that he would be responsible for taking your virginity, that he would be the one to pop your sweet, sweet cherry, made the suspense of it all, palpable. He could just inhale the sexual tension oozing from your natural scent.

Much to his anticipation, you were ready.

Aegon patiently eased you in, his grasp and motions tender and light, he was intent on not using his own strength to overpower you so carelessly. His worrisome state had him abruptly and persistently asking if you were okay, before caving into his insatiable lust once more.

It was evident, Aegon knew his way around a woman's body: the effortless sway in how he handled your body, guiding it in certain positions before he found the right one. How his large, pudgy hands found their way kneading and squeezing at your sensitive breasts, earning a helpless moan from your behalf. Even flicking at your bare nipple with his teasing thumb, eliciting sensual whimpers, as you tried desperately to muffle your moans, harshly biting at your lip.

Thoughtless, completely succumbed to Aegon's advances, you felt his thick digits grazing over your slick folds.

"Already so wet, baby? Is my pretty girl ready for me, huh? Are you eager for my cock to sate her needs? Is she ready to be a woman?"

"Mhmm, y-yes, Aeg-"

"No, no, Princess. Now that's not what you call me, hmm."

Incoherent and numb to your own thoughts. You had never felt this oblivious, senseless to your own body, weak at Aegon's mercy.

"B-Big boy, m-my big boy."

The echo of his deep, growling chuckle timely reached your ears, making you eager for more.

"That's my good, good girl. Now show me just how perfect you are."

Where his fingers had once teased at your wet entrance, gently pumping in and out of your tight walls, Aegon's pulsating, reddened tip now grazed in its place instead. For a fleeting instance, you caught a quick glimpse of his cock: its naked sight, although overwhelming, was intriguing. You had seen many in textbooks before, or on porn-sites that you had cheekily ventured to. Yet none looked as grand nor as menacing as Aegon's: a moist, reddened tip, dark veins detailed along his length, you could just sense the throbbing ache of it. The length average, his girth was substantially exceptional: there was no doubt it would hurt, regardless.

The slow, steady ease into your folds, having to add some extra push to his shove, vigorously bucking his wide hips forward: did his cock manage to push through the tense fit.

Painful cries etched from your lips, as your face subtly grimaced in pain, the unfamiliar sensation was both agonising yet exhilarating. The feeling of your tight, velvet folds clenching over Aegon's mass, desperate to bury every inch of him deep inside of you.

"That's it, baby. Y-You're doing such a fucking good job, argh- I can just feel how desperate your pussy is for my cock. Made perfect to fit me."

His deep groans in unison to your breathless moans and pleas of his name, was a symphony to your ears. Sweet, jovial music.

"My perfect princess. H-How did I get so lucky, huh? I don't deserve you and yet, you were made just for me... The girl of my dreams, you are. My dream girl."

The soothing appraisal uttered in between Aegon's moans was beyond satisfying. His rough hands glued to your fleshy ass cheeks covering your surface in its entirety, nudging your sweaty, frail body once more in rhythm to his every harsh thrust: encouraging you to sway backwards and forwards, as his cock stretched you keenly out, swallowing him whole.

"I'm going to take good, real care of my dream girl. My dream girl won't need anyone else, when I'm around, not that anyone else can care for you l-like I can, ugh- That is my promise to you."

general taglist - @chompchompluke @fan-goddess @malfoytargaryen @hightowhxre @bibli0thecary @m1ndbrand @connorsui @elegantsplendour @randomdragonfires @sylasthegrim @arcielee @s-we-e-t-t-ea @sahvlren @aemondtargaryensrider @watercolorskyy @hypnos-daughter-certified @urmomsgirlfriend1 @backyardfolklore @snowprincesa1 @aegonslawyer

Aegon ii taglist - @who-told-you-this-was-butter @f4ll-for-you @amiraisgoingthruit @bucknastysbabe @jawline-of-steel

credit for dividers - @/itbmojojoejo

[foli-vora]

Congrats on 3k, lovely!!!!

Can I have “you know where to find me.” with Dave York?

Pls turn my pelvis into dust. Your Dave is AMAZING.

My love. Thank you for your never ending support and love. I am honoured you enjoy my Dave! I apologise for the delay, and I hope you enjoy! ❤️

A sidenote: Yes, I'm slowly making my way through these requests. Yes, they are incredibly late. Yes, we're ignoring the fact I'm well over 3k now LMAO.

your taste i crave

dave york x f!reader

word count: 1.3k warnings: SMUT 18+ ONLY. semi public sex/workplace sex, rough unprotected p in v, brief talk of choking, vague descriptions of toy use, use of tie as a gag, creampie, oral sex (f), cum eating, a brief thigh nibble, dave's messy idc

The edge of the copier is harsh where it digs into your stomach, but you can’t find it in you to care—not when he’s moving like this, not when his hands are locked on your hips, keeping you at his complete mercy as he takes what he wants.

He’s so fucking rough, and if you didn’t have the tight pull of his work tie around your mouth and making words practically impossible, you’re absolutely positive you’d be begging him for more.

You don’t think it will ever be enough.

Instead, all that falls from your parted, restrained lips are muffled whines and broken moans when he hits that spot that’s almost too far. It sends a jolt of pain through your system, rocketing up your spine and bringing your body harder against the machine in an effort to escape the intense sensation, but it’s quickly replaced with more heat, more need.

He merely drags you back against him each and every time, his neatly trimmed nails pressing indents into the fleshy skin of your waist as he moves behind you with tightly restrained grunts, the slap of his hips meeting your ass echoing in the small copy room.

Despite the time of day, with most of the office having enough and retreating home, there’s not much time left.

Beyond the dizzying, overwhelming feel of him rutting into you without abandon; cock so fucking solid, so goddamn thick; and bringing a flood of tears to your lash line, you know it can’t last—not like it usually does.

He’d still want to go back to work—most likely for the rest of the evening, the strict borderline obsession with his career rendering him unable to leave the mountains of work flooding his desk.

So there’s no room for build up here. No time for teasing. No long, blissful drawn out torture of him bringing you to the edge only to stop at its peak again and again.

This is about release. This is about working and relieving the tension that had been slowly building across his broad shoulders with every bullshit thing that had happened today and granting him a clearer head for the hours left at the office. This is about him, and you’re only too happy to oblige.

“Might—fuck… might have to–to make this a regular work thing,” he grits out, hand curling around the back of your blouse and tugging roughly at it until your back is pressing against his chest.

The silk collar of it cuts into the soft flesh of your throat, and you want to ask for more.

Maybe his hand? His long thick fingers curling around the width of it and giving it that perfect squeeze that borders on too much but is always just enough.

Maybe his belt? The worn, cared for leather smooth against your skin as it tightens and tightens, slowly pushing your lungs to the max until you’re weeping from the irresistible assault of sensations.

The gag wound tight around your mouth makes it impossible to get the words out, and his mouth latches onto the curve of your shoulder, nipping and biting at the skin until it feels raw. You stretch out for more, his lips soon running hungrily along the expanse of your throat.

Close.

He’s getting close.

You know it, you can feel it.

You can feel it in the way his already bruising grip tightens just that little more. You can feel it in the way his breath starts to catch where it ghosts your skin, sticking in his throat and coming out in shorter pants as he chases the promise of that sweet, sweet high.

You can’t speak, can’t utter a single fucking word to coax him along. You can’t beg for him to keep going, to finish right where he is and fill you to the fucking brim so you can take a part of him home.

He goes wild for your shaky home videos, the smooth finish of your vibrator glistening with the remnants of his cum sliding down the silicon as you fuck yourself with his name on your lips in the cosy comfort of your bedroom.

A mantra of his name fills your mind.

Dave, Dave, Dave.

You want him to hear it, you want him to know that it’s only him that could do this, only him that could use you like this. You love it, crave it.

That familiar tingle runs along your spine in anticipation, your body aching for just that little bit more, your clit throbbing in need of desperate attention to get you just over that line right alongside him—

The groan that falls from his throat is utter filth, hoarse and throaty, and one of your favourite fucking sounds he makes. He slams his hips upwards one more time, forcing the head of his cock right up against your soft cervix as he starts to cum, and you’re left to do nothing but whine into the now damp material of his tie, barely aware of the tear that leaks from the corner of your eye.

He takes a long moment to recover, sweat slicked face hidden in your shoulder as his chest heaves against your back. The tie loosens from around your mouth and falls to rest at the base of your throat, leaving a mess of saliva coating your lips and chin which you try to wipe away as cleanly as possible with the back of your hand.

Too soon, he starts to pull away, guiding his softening cock from your tender, weeping cunt with a low hiss of ‘fuck’ before you hear the rustle of his slacks and the smooth pull of his zipper.

You take that as your silent cue, twisting and bending as well as you could on shaky legs to retrieve the damp panties still tangled around your ankles and attempt to drag them back up into place.

“What do you think you’re doing?” He asks gruffly, tugging the thin lace out from your fingers and letting them drop to your feet once more. “Who said I was finished with you?”

“But—”

There’s no time to argue.

He works quickly, dropping to his knees and gripping the underside of your ass enough to spread you open before pressing forward eagerly. The thick, firm feel of his tongue swipes through the mess he had made, forcing its way along your wet folds before pushing into your throbbing cunt.

You manage to smother the yelp of surprise with a quick slap of your hand over your mouth, half wishing he had left the gag in place if he wasn’t done with you. Maybe he’s trying to test you, or maybe he just doesn’t give a shit about being quiet anymore.

God, it’s risky.

It’s so fucking risky, it’s so fucking good—

He holds you tightly, winding an arm around the front of you to pull you harder against his face as he practically devours you from behind, eagerly coaxing more of his cum and your arousal into his mouth with feral curls and flicks of his tongue.

Your knees threaten to give out when he finally moves away from your entrance and finds your clit, smoothing over the swollen nerve with alternating quick, light flutters and firm, wide rolls. He falls into his pace easily, rekindling the heat in the pit of your stomach in a way only he knows how and you’re desperate to find something to anchor yourself with.

“Y-yeah,” you breathe brokenly, hands clutching the machine for life and eyes rolling with the fresh waves of pleasure as you can’t help but start to rock back against his face, focusing on the feel of his slick tongue sliding back and forward over your previously neglected clit, “maybe we could make this a… a r-regular work thing.”

He hums into you, breaking away with an obscene wet smack of his lips before nipping at the inside of your thigh playfully.

“You know where to find me, pretty girl. Bend over, give it to me.”

-

tags: @maievdenoir, @javier-pena, @lv7867, @dihra-vesa, @katronautt, @radiowallet, @januarystears, @missminkylove, @beskarprincessjenny, @mswarriorbabe80, @danidrabbles, @amneris21, @eri16, @absurdthirst, @hnt-escape, @acourtofsnakes, @ezrasbirdie, @mstgsmy66, @lovesbiggerthanpride, @coaaster, @sherala007, @greeneyedblondie44, @wyn-n-tonic, @you-got-me-starry-eyed, @shirks-all-responsibilities, @withasideofmeg, @harriedandharassed, @andruxx, @buckybarneshairpullingkink, @spideysimpossiblegirl, @prostitute-robot-from-the-future, @tanzthompson, @mad-girl-without-a-box, @hope-for-the-best-98, @fangirl-316, @christina-loves, @jediknight122, @hallway5, @xoxabs88xox, @nicolethered, @churchill356, @massivecolorspygiant, @just-here-for-the-moment, @gracie7209, @pinkie289, @lavenderluna10, @goodgriefitsawildworld

[mins-fins]

new years day !

"what do you know about love?" "it can bruise, like a punch.."

synopsis: it's only during the new year that huang renjun learns what love is, and loves comes in the form of a charming, margarita indulging, poetry obsessed man, you. after the clock strikes midnight, you take the once love skeptical man on a journey of discovering feelings, full of polaroids, bottle cleaning, and smudged lipstick. the only real question is, what do you do end up as when new years day is over? is this all going to come to nothing in the end?

pairing: huang renjun x male!reader

genre: modern au, not a uni au they've already graduated from uni 😭, strangers to lovers, they have a fling kinda, new years day..literally, this fic takes place during new years eve and new years day, fluff, light light angst, FAST ASS BURN!!

warnings: swearing, explicit language, sexual jokes, mentions of hookups, implications of sex but no smut, mentions of drinking, mentions of toxic workplace environments, things going from 1 to 100 so soon

word count: 12.6k

notes: one of the strangest pieces of writing i have ever completed.. let me get one thing straight, i 💗 renjun, i miss him and i hope hes doing well and taking care of himself :( this fic took the shortest time to write compared to like orbit of yours or all flights are delayed, literally completed this in less than a week.. thats a new isa record i think 😣 anyway!! i decided to do smth different with this fic, instead of just writing a bunch of scenes the singular scenes alone are all about a good few thousand words long, so it might seem short in terms of scenes cause there are really only eight, but each scene is super long so you'll be praying for it to end!!! is this probably super unrealistic? yes, but it's huang renjun so idc, enjoy :)

AT 11:34 PM, RENJUN FOUND HIMSELF IN a spot he didn't want to be. after the many failures he's had on all the previous years on new years eves, he was ready to stay home, with a heavy sweater on, pop a bag of popcorn, and sit down on his couch to rewatch the last season of bridgerton once again. he did not want to go out at all, he was not planning to go out at all. no drinking, no bar dates, no stupid flings that end up with the guy not calling you in the end, just him, alone, at his place, eating a shitload of popcorn and crying as much as possible even if there was nothing to cry about it.

going out and sitting at a bar was not on the list of things he wanted to do this new years eve. it reminds him too much of past flings which didn't really end well.. god all of those guys who acted like they were sooooo into him just to drop him the moment he wanted anything other than sex.

he wants to snap all of their necks right now.

renjun was not preparing to go out today, yeah it's new years eve and shit but he doesn't care, he doesn't want to drink.

but lee donghyuck, fucking lee donghyuck just had to stick his head in and beg for renjun to go out with the rest of them. his coworkers don't really annoy him, he just wishes they would stop nagging him. all huang renjun wanted to do on his new years eve was sit down and spend his day at home, watching stupid shows about love, love he knows he'll never get to experience because all the men he attracts are assholes who'd rather die before committing to anything.

and yeah, maybe renjun is being harsh, but the world has been so harsh on him already, he deserves to be harsh, the world deserves it!

so when donghyuck showed up to his place with the offering of him to go out with the rest of the group, he was quick to decline because he knew it was going to end up the same way it always did. he'd wake up having had yet another drunken one night stand and the guy would become nothing but a memory until the next new year when he did it all over again.

"but why not!? drinking can help you forget about that asshole jin—"

"don't mention his name" renjun scolded earlier that day, a steady glare in his eyes pointed at the younger. he heard the sigh of defeat escape donghyuck's lips, but he doesn't care, he turns back around to finish washing the dishes he'd left in the sink before. "and no, drinking isn't going to solve that problem, it'll make it worse".

"but you can't be alone on new year's eve!"

renjun turned back to the yelling lee, a deadpanned expression on his face. "yes i can, i literally will".

"ugh! you're so boring! jeno help me plead my case here!"

renjun just rolled his eyes, trying his best to ignore the insult from his 'friend'. it wasn't often that they decided to crowd up in his place, but because of the new year coming up, and his lack of interest in doing their little new years tradition, they all banded together to try and convince him to go out and drink.

"maybe going out will help you forget about your mess of an ex boyfriend".

"it never helps".

"maybe you should stop trying to get into some guys pants every time, then" jaemin judged out loud, and the older snapped his head towards him to glare once again, offended by that idea. "what? don't look at me like that, it's true!"

"it is not! you're acting like i'm some sort of sex obsessed freak!"

"well only on new years—"

"i have a knife here, do you want me to kill your right now?" he threatened, pointing the knife littered with soap at donghyuck, who shrieked and quickly hid behind jeno. he scoffed, dropping the sharp blade into the sink and drying off his hands. "i'm not going out drinking with you guys".

"so what? you're just going to sit around and do nothing?"

"that is the plan" the huang clicked his tongue, and a groan sounded from the rest of his same aged friends, which just resulted in him snickering at their misery. "whine all you want, i don't care".

"come on, renjunie!" jaemin quickly stood up and wrapped his arms around the older, a pout on his face as he stared at him, practically pleading through his eyes. "please! we won't do anything stupid we swear!" he cupped the older's face, squishing his cheeks between his hands.

renjun simply allowed for the action to happen, because jaemin would've continued to whine like a baby if he tried to push him anyway. "it's just today! you don't even have to drink, you can just sit around with us! pleaaseeeeeee?"

"okay okay get off" renjun pushed the younger away from him, lightly caressing his jaw as he tried to recover from his vice grip. "fine, i'll go out if it stops you all from being so annoying".

the gasp from donghyuck and his subsequent yell in victory made renjun roll his eyes again as he quickly dismissed his friends with a waving hand. "stop yelling or i'll change my mind".

jeno quickly nudged donghyuck, who stopped his yelling and just gave a blinding smile. "we'll see you later then, renjunie! chenle will text you the address!"

renjun was not looking forward to this outing they had planned.

so here he is, december 31st, 11:34 pm, sat at a bar as his friends all get up to their own things. when he first did arrive, he thought he'd only be there for a good hour and a half before leaving, but no, it's almost twenty minutes away from midnight and he's still here, sat at the bar, without a drink anywhere near him.

at this point, he's about to order a drink just to make himself less bored.

"excuse me?" he calls out, catching the attention of the bartender in front of him. he gives a small smile, lightly straightening up his seat and sighing. "hi, can i have a kir royale?"

the bartender raises an eyebrow, blinking at the stranger in front of him. "just that?"

"just that" he confirms, smiling when he earns a nod from the stranger before him. "thank you".

"kir royale? you have questionable taste.."

renjun startles when he hears the sound of an unfamiliar voice, while he would've been annoyed if it was one of his friends who decided to keep him company after abandoning him to go on and do stuff with other people, he probably would've preferred them instead of.. well, you.

and that's not in an insulting way, you just make everything so complicated for renjun.

"questionable?" renjun raises an eyebrow, just a little irritated by the words from this stranger who had seemingly come out of nowhere. you blink, snickering lightly as you settle down beside him, you already have a drink of your own, but renjun can't currently focus on that. "what is that supposed to mean?"

"just didn't think it would be someone's first choice.." you mutter, fingers toying with the glass of your cup. "but i can't judge anyone for they're drink choices, i can't really judge anyone for anything" you giggle to yourself, and renjun catches your smile, a smile he decides is pretty.

renjun allows for a small laugh to escape his own lips, probably the first time he ever laughed that night, it wouldn't be the last time, though. "i just want something to drink, at this point, it doesn't matter if it tastes good or bad anymore, my year has been insanely shitty".

"oh? trying to erase the mistakes of the previous twelve months with drinking?"

"you could say that" renjun replies, smiling softly at you then turning back to the bartender in front of him, he let out another small 'thank you' and slid the drink over to him smoothly. "i just don't want to drink too much" he says, beginning to dig through his wallet to pay for this little drink.

"scared of the hangover?"

"not the hangover, just scared of saying something i'll regret" he chuckles again, finally finding his card and paying for his drink. he again smiles at the bartender and places his card back in his wallet, merely glancing at you.

"hm" you respond, taking another sip of your drink. "that's understandable".

"yeah.." he mumbles, immediately looking away from you as he feels his face redden stupidly quickly. what is he even blushing for? he just met you, there is no reason you should be flustering him, you didn't even do anything. "what's your name?" he's quick to ask, and you hum again as a response, picking at your nails.

"y/n".

renjun finally looks at you as you say your name, you aren't looking at him, checking the time on your phone. he looks you up down, examining everything about you, your clothes are nice, the jewelry your wearing is nice, your hair is nice, everything about you is nice.

your lips are especially nice, he would describe them as beautiful even.

but renjun should not be staring at your lips, or even be thinking about them, he didn't agree to go out just to hook up with another guy, he is not going to do that, it'd be idiotic for him to. yeah you're pretty, very pretty, but renjun isn't going to allow for this conversation to escalate into something.. else, he's not going to surrender his pride because of a pretty guy he met at a bar.

"and you?"

renjun's face only burns more when he realizes he's been silent all this time, just marking each of your features in his head, he probably looked so stupid, just staring at you speechless. "oh! me? me! yeah uh— renjun".

"renjun" you snap your fingers as you say his name. "ren-jun, pretty, i like it".

"pretty?"

"yeah, a pretty name for a pretty guy".

renjun immediately wants to rebut with a snappy response, but he gets much more flustered than he wants to admit, because he instead begins trying to sputter out a response with his face now reddening excessively. "i— flirting with me on new year's eve, really?"

"not flirting, just telling you what i observed".

"so you think i'm pretty?"

"i'd be lying if i said i didn't" you reply smoothly, a grin tugging at your lips as you take another sip of your almost finished drink. "is it such a surprise that i think so?"

"well.. no, but it's just, i don't know, i don't want to do something i'll regret".

you raise an eyebrow, clearly puzzled by the seemingly cryptic words. "what does that mean?"

renjun lets out a small sigh, he can't believe he's going to say this, especially to you, a pretty stranger he met at a bar on new year's eve. "i can't start a new thing with another guy on new year's eve because it never ends up well, i should've learned my lesson by now".

you blink, staring at renjun for much longer than he thinks he could ever handle. you're silent for a while, processing his words and tilting your head to the side to get a better look at him. "ah, so all of your new year's eve hookups end terribly?"

"not just my new year's eve hookups, all of my attempts at love have ended terribly, can't believe love is advertised as something so desirable but every single time i try, i fail!"

"that has to do more with the people you entangle yourself with, not love itself".

"love is stupid" renjun's teeth drag against each other as he says those words, harsh words, yes, but he deserves to be harsh, the world deserves his wrath because the only thing that's ever been given to him is heartbreak after heartbreak after heartbreak! you let out a small chuckle at the sight of his gritted teeth, the words amuse you.

"is it? or have you just had horrible experiences with it?"

"okay mr love expert" renjun is quick to rebut, and the statement is enough to get yet another laugh out of you. "what do you know about love?"

you pause for a moment as you think about the words he suddenly spits, the question makes you smile, that pretty smile that renjun loves so much, he wants to punch you in the face for being so pretty.

"it can bruise, like a punch.." your quick to answer, fiddling with your shirt collar. "but it's not all bad, love can be beautiful, entrancing, when you do find someone who really loves you, it can be a magical experience, a whirlwind of joy you never knew you could feel for another human being".

"are you into all that poetic bullshit?"

"i guess you could say that".

renjun giggles, a small shake of his head accompanying the sound which escapes his lips. he won't lie, you're very funny, hilarious even. at least he has you as company on this terrible new year's eve, even with your stupid talks of love, he enjoys having you around. "are you going to try to redeem love for me?"

the words are much more flirtatious than he intends for them to be, but it seems you don't notice, because you just smile at his words. "i can't change something you don't want me to, i can only inform you on how i feel about the topic".

renjun opens his mouth to say something in return, but he doesn't really know how to respond to that. god, how have you managed to leave him so speechless even though this is your first encounter? he's about to collapse onto the floor with how surprised he is.

but somehow, renjun stands his ground, literally. "your pretty well spoken for someone so.. you".

"someone so me?"

"yeah" renjun clears his throat. "you remind me of a friend of mine, you probably have so many people falling at your feet without you even having to do anything".

"you make me sound much more interesting than i actually am" you finally finish your drink, your cheeks are dusted red, and you fiddle with the glass in your hands, tracing each of the cuts carved into it. renjun has no idea why he focuses on your hands, but he does, he intently watches as your fingers move skillfully, and his ears begin burning at just the fact that he's staring at your fingers.

oh you've hit a whole new low, huang renjun.

"so you're not some cool playboy who has seven boyfriends?"

"do i strike you as a whore?"

that made renjun laugh even harder, and he had to cover his mouth with his hand. "you're so.. abrupt".

"i like to think that's one of my best traits" you respond, clasping your hands together before focusing your full attention on renjun, attention which immediately makes all of renjun's senses heighten. "so, any interesting new year's resolutions?"

renjun groans at the question, playfully rolling his eyes. "i have to stop making mistakes when it comes to the men i choose to love".

you hum, finger beginning to circle around a small spot atop the counter. renjun has to use pretty much all of his inner power to prevent his eyes from falling down towards your fingers and staring at them. he really has no idea why he's resisting these very needy urges, he doesn't want to seem easy to you, he doesn't want to seem easy to anyone.

but there's something about you, something that makes him want to stay instead of leave, this is something different, not like the other encounters he's had with cute guys at bars on new year's eve. "and what about you? what is your resolution?"

"probably to quit my shitty job".

renjun snorts, finding the statement amusing. "that's a good one, much better than mine".

"i would disagree, yours seems full of much more ambition".

"well i do pride myself on my ambitious spirit" renjun hums, unabashedly checking you out right in front of you, maybe it's the one drink getting to his head, but he's no longer ashamed anymore, he's doing it in broad daylight. "i think you're pretty too".

renjun has no idea where those words came from, but they definitely have an impact, because a small red hue settles on your cheeks, and renjun smiles in victory, he flustered you, he's so proud of himself for that. "oh really? you think i'm pretty, renjun?"

you lean closer to him as you say those words, allowing for your breath to fan against his face, and getting a close up few of his striking features. your eyes cast down towards his lips, but you quickly look back up to make eye contact, not wanting to distract yourself.

renjun, on the other hand, finds himself frozen in place. you're close, you're so close, and renjun can see each of the pores on your face. he can't move, so he doesn't move, he allows for his eyes to drag around your face and mark each of your very features.

"yeah" he responds, voice frail and barely above a whisper. "arguably the prettiest guy i've ever met at a bar on new year's eve" his response gets a small smile out of you, and you click your tongue as you merely glance away.

"rich of you to say, you're probably the prettiest guy i've ever met point blank".

"don't try to one up me".

you raise an eyebrow, that annoying smile still on your lips. "i just did".

renjun just bites his bottom lip, he can't help but stare directly at yours.

he is unashamed.

AT 11:57 PM, RENJUN FOUND HIMSELF IN an unfamiliar spot, but a familiar situation. his hands tangled in your hair, your fingers caressing his waist under his shirt, nothing against your back but the steel of your sink and the feeling of his lips on yours, renjun found himself amused by his current circumstances. what did he say again earlier? right, he wasn't going out to end up in the same place he always did on new year's eve, but here is, history truly has a way of repeating itself. renjun doesn't care if he comes off as desperate, it felt horrible trying to contain himself out there, he can't believe he actually did end up surrendering his pride to you, the pretty guy he met at a bar.

well, that's not exactly it.

having the sudden need for air, you pull away, chuckling at the way renjun doesn't really move away from you, his fingers in your hair settle for a moment, and they begin gently running through it, as if he's trying to coax you into a slumber or something. "is this how you spend your new year's eve? making out with a guy in a bar bathroom?"

renjun scoffs, registering your red face, he wants to laugh, but his is probably not better off, so he stops himself. "did you want to make out outside?"

"i think you wanted to make out outside, did you think you were slick?"

renjun frowns, it's not a serious frown, it's a playful one, and shoves your shoulder lightly. "i should've never kissed you.."

"aww" you pout, over exaggerating your expression to amuse the man in front of you. it seems to work, because renjun snorts at the way you're looking at him. he simply tightens his hold in your hair and pulls you closer to press your lips against his once more, making you squeak lightly in surprise.

"you're so annoying.." he whispers against your lips, he wants to act on his hearts desire, but instead refrains from kissing you once again, though your lips do look tempting, he already did it enough in the span of a few minutes. "you're lucky your cute".

"thank you" you hum happily, a pretty grin tugging on your lips as you stare at him. "you're cuter, though".

that results in a tch from renjun. "corny".

"cornier".

renjun snickers, preparing a new rebuttal as he continues running his fingers through your hair. you decide you like the feeling, so you don't tell him to let go of your hair, just allow for his fingers to relax and cart through your it. "can't believe i ended up here with you.." he mutters under his breath, and you simply smile as you pretend you didn't hear that.

unconsciously, your fingers again disappear under his shirt to caress his waist. renjun settles into the touch, your full hand isn't exactly wrapped around his waist, but you still manage to cover most of it, even if what your doing is just feeling his skin with the touch of your cold fingers. "where else would you want to be, right now?"

"at home, in my bed, under a mountain of blankets".

you tilt your head, staring at him. you find it funny how casual everything between the two of you seems after having a nonstop make out session where he quite literally pressed you against the sink, his duality is simply admirable. "i can't say that doesn't seem completely alluring right now".

renjun lets a smile come to his face, but a whole new realization suddenly dawns on him. it is new year's eve, the countdown should be starting soon. "what time is it?" he asks you, words rushed and simply spat out in a moment of clear confusion.

you glance down at your watch, narrowing your eyes at the numbers presented on the miniature clock. "a minute till midnight, not sure about how many seconds are left though".

renjun opens his mouth to ask another question, but is quickly cut off by the sound of someone outside shouting about the ten second countdown to new year's day. he looks at you again, and a smile comes to your face. "guess we won't be counting down with the crowd".

you now fully wrap your arms around his waist, easily pulling him closer to you as you hear the crowd of people outside begin counting down. ten, nine, eight; "don't you find this fun, though? spending new year's with a pretty bar boy?"

then seven, then six, renjun can't really focus properly on anything. "eh, it could be better".

he drops his hand from your hair and starts down with his index finger, stopping at your shirt collar that he quickly begins to fiddle with. five; the numbers are practically burning into his head at this point.

you seem to notice him thinking, and you nudge him, squeezing his waist gently. "hey" you call out, a small whisper, you remove one of your hands from his waist to lift his chin with your index finger, making eye contact with you. "don't think so much, just be in the moment".

four, three, two.

renjun allows for a sigh to escape his lips, trying his best to push all of his anxieties away as he looks up at you. he, again, tilts his head and leans closer to you. just at the last shout of one, he barely whispers it, seemingly just a lingering breath on your lips. "happy new year".

and again, renjun initiates the kiss between you two. if anyone saw him right now, they'd think he was dying with how urgent he seemed. it was like he'd die if you didn't put your lips on his, kissing you like a man on death row. he kept himself pressed against you, as if the idea of not feeling every single part of you was unfathomable.

you weren't much better off, though not the one initiating the kiss, you slowly take over the control, transforming it into less of a heated moment and more of a soft one, nothing but a few press of the lips, less rushed and more thought out. your fingers continue to caress his waist, ignoring the growing butterflies in your stomach.

surely this can't be anything serious, this is just a random guy your making out with in a bar bathroom on new year's eve. why would it ever be serious?

you refrain yourself from thinking too much about it.

when renjun finally pulls away, catching his breath in the process, his eyes immediately look down onto the floor, avoiding eye contact with you like you would turn him into stone if he even looked you in the eye. "sorry, i.. i don't know why i did all that".

you chuckle lightly, just smiling at him. "it's fine, i mean— you do know how to handle things your passionate about".

renjun laughs at the joke, still not looking at you. you want to take his jaw in your hands and move him to look at you, to make eye contact with you, but you stop yourself from doing that, the last thing you want to do is make him uncomfortable because you want him to look at you. "happy new year, renjun".

the soft spoken statement makes renjun finally turn to look at you. he has no idea why, but his face heats up upon seeing the small smile painted on your features, your smile is very pretty, he can't stress that enough today.

he doesn't stop himself from moving up his hand and touching your cheek, beginning to caress your soft skin with his thumb. this is strangely intimate, much more intimate than he usually gets with guys he meets at bars on new year's eve, what's with you that's so different? what is it about you that has his stomach flipping in strange ways?

"happy new year, y/n" he finally answers, sharing the same soft smile with you that you shared with him. it's a strange moment, the air isn't thick, it's not suffocating you two, everything feels..just right.

his lipstick has probably gone to shit by now, all smudged and messed up, he can see the marks on your neck, marks that make his stomach squirm in ways he can't explain. he doesn't really know if he wants all of this to end right now, and as his eyes zero in on your lips again, he blurts one of the first things he can think of.

"i don't— i mean.. come home with me?"

the question makes you blink, and even renjun seems confused by the words. why did i ask that? why the fuck did i ask that? he's literally about to die from the second hand embarrassment he feels.

"are you sure you want that?"

"we don't have to do anything!" he immediately shouts defensively, face so red he might collapse from the excessive heat of his cheeks. "we could just talk and stuff, i don't know, i just want your company i guess.."

renjun doesn't look at you as he mutters those words, again way too embarrassed to look you in the eye. how did you even manage to get him like this? he doesn't think he's ever been this flustered by a guy he just met ever.

it's so embarrassing.

"well i can't disagree with such an offer, can i?"

renjun attempts his best unbothered scoff, but he is already so bothered by you, if his red face is anything to go by. "shut up before i change my mind".

and all you do is chuckle.

AT 12:10 AM, RENJUN FOUND HIMSELF ON a walk down the sidewalk with his hands laced together with yours. the streets are much more crowded on this day, and at this time, that's a rare sight. he can see all the people giggling, drunkenly making their way across the streets and down the sidewalks, friends helping other friends support themselves, girls walking while carrying their heels because their feet have begun to cramp, strangers giggling and going on with their lives. renjun allows for himself to observe everyone doing their own thing, stars in the sky shining brightly above him, but even with his focus on the other people around, his attention quickly floats back to you, and he notices that you're too lost in your own world of observation.

though he asked you to come home with him, renjun didn't really think the whole thing through, it was a weirdly impulsive decision that he would usually always overthink before making, but with you.. you just have this unsaid affect on renjun he can't explain, you have this ability to turn his brain into mush.

of course, he couldn't just go home with you without telling his friends he was going home. donghyuck was already passed out by that point, so renjun was spared from his teasing, but that didn't mean jaemin and chenle went easy on him, with their raising eyebrows and tormenting tones of voice.

you charmed those two immediately, impressing them by doing literally anything. they both exchanged enticed glances as they sent renjun a few frivolous looks, looks that he chose to respond with glares as he tried to ignore his quickly reddening face. jaemin made sure to take extra time shaking your hand (a handshake which renjun laser focused on), even squeezing it for extra measure.

so renjun was sort of right, you do easily have people falling at your feet.

renjun pretended to not notice the way you clearly enchanted the two, and he also pretended not to notice the snicker you let out as he quickly dragged you away from his friends, midway through one of his jaemin's pick up lines.

no he wasn't jealous, and even if he was, he was not going to admit that to anyone, not even to any of his friends (the little 'lucky' text he got from chenle was funny, though, he'd admit that).

"the stars are beautiful tonight".

renjun snaps out of his whirlwind of thoughts as he hears the small mutter from you. the two of you are still holding hands, when did you even begin holding hands? renjun has no idea, but for some reasons, it feels right, like your fingers slip together so perfectly, just your hand in his is the perfect feeling, like it was the missing piece of a puzzle.

you're staring up at the sky, eyes practically lit up in interest as you stared at the luminous balls of gas in the night sky. renjun lets out a small laugh at how engrossed you are in the stars shining in the sky, and you notice that small laugh, because you finally stop your stargazing to look over at renjun. "what's so funny?"

"you just look so into the stars" he replies, a small smile coming to his face as he looks into your eyes. "your fascination is admirable" he whispers, saying the words in a low voice like it's a secret he wants to keep only between you two.

you blink, staring at renjun as if you were in love with him or something, a look that makes him feel much more giddy than he'd like to admit. then, though you're clearly flustered, you clear your throat and try your best to not make your red face obvious. "really? i think my interest in stars is nerdy".

"nerdy?"

"that's what everyone else says".

renjun lets his face fall in just the slightest, the words upsetting him lightly. still, he doesn't say anything about it, instead answering something else you mentioned. "your interest in stars is cute, i like seeing people so passionate about things".

you raise an eyebrow, only focusing on one specific word in that sentence. "cute?"

"it was the first word to come to mind".

"hm" you swing your hands back and forth, scooting closer to renjun as you do so.

you're close, you're so close, renjun is unsure of how he's even able to continue breathing with the way your shoulders brush against each other, he squeezes your laced hands, trying to brush off any other thoughts he might be having at the moment. "is stargazing a hobby of yours?"

"it's only really a hobby i do on certain nights, nights when i know certain constellations can be soon, or a shooting star is happening".

"ah" renjun loves that response much more than he can express with words. "you always talk about your hobbies as if you're in love with them".

"well it's just how i get when i'm very into something, i can't really just express things normally when it comes to shit like that".

renjun lets out a laugh at the words, catching view of his tall apartment building and tightening his grip on your hand, making you squeak in surprise as he jolts you forward with a hard tug of your hand. you could easily overpower him, make his life harder by refusing to be dragged, but you allow him to drag you forward towards the doors of his building.

"jeez, don't yank my arm off, huang" you chastise playfully, using his surname to aggravate him, but he only shoots a small glare at you. "what's the rush?" you inquire, frowning lightly as his hand slips from yours, you settle beside him in the elevator, watching him as he presses the five button with his finger.

"there is no rush" he lies, a clear, bold faced lie. he does nothing but smile at you, anxiously swaying back and forth as he stares at the elevator going up one by one. "don't give me that look".

you chuckle at his sudden scolding. "what look?"

"the look where you start reading my inner most thoughts" renjun states, as if he was sure of the kind of look you were giving him. when he sees the puzzled look in your eyes, he sighs. "it's a look i've gotten from many of my friends, feels like you're seeing through my head and know what i'm thinking".

you smile at his explanation, finding the words to be humorous. "well you do think so expressively, i feel like i can hear your thoughts running".

"should i be worried about how you described that?"

"definitely not, what are you thinking so hard about?"

renjun pauses at the question, the dinging of the elevator at floor two, doors opening to welcome in two drunk college students, two drunk college students who press the floor eight button and move to a corner of the elevator to keep themselves wrapped in each other's arms. renjun blinks at the sight of them, unconsciously moving closer to you, bumping into you in the process.

you move your hand down to intertwine your fingers with his, an action that renjun questions, but doesn't rebel against. the students are much too interested in their own conversation to care about you two, so you nudge renjun, who finally looks back at you. "answer my question, what were you thinking so hard about?"

the volume of your voice is much lower, you probably don't want to disturb the also muttering students in the elevator, but it's also because you don't want to expose renjun's answer to these two strangers he probably doesn't want to share his thoughts with. "it's a secret" he responds with a small whisper, leaning closer to you as says those words, the words a whisper against your ear.

his sudden closeness is enough to fluster you.

seemingly glad that he caused your newly reddened face, renjun leans away from your ear and smiles happily, swinging your laced hands back and forth. if you think about it, the two of you kind of look like a couple, the thought is enough to amuse you, because you really just are strangers who enjoy kissing each other, you didn't even know each other two hours ago, and now he's bringing you home with him.

if this is the story you think it is, the ending seems pretty clear.

it seems that the time flies by, because you look up at the counting numbers and the elevator dings, floor five. you barely have time to react before renjun's grip on your hand tightens, and he drags you by your hand once again, this time out of the elevator and towards his unit.

you swear you hear those drunk college kids giggle at the sight of you two.

"this place is nice" you comment absentmindedly, reading off each of the numbers placed on each of the other doors. "better than anything i could afford on my own, what do you do for work?"

"i work for a graphic design company".

"what's your position? do you run the place or something?"

renjun snickers at your surprise, finally stopping the two of you in front of a door which reads the number 'fifteen'. he begins digging through his pocket for his house key, though acknowledging your question as he does so. "i'm just good at my job i guess.. pay has always been good for me".

after finding his key, renjun attempts to open the door, but he struggles a few times to put his key in the key slot, an annoyed groan escaping his lips as he turns his key over again.

you chuckle at his little battle, catching his scrunched nose and furrowed eyebrows. "need some help there?"

renjun sends you a quick glare. "haha, very funny" he says, looking back to his front door and finally, after what seemed like forever, he unlocked the door of his home, gesturing with his head for you to come in.

you blink at him, but as you watch him step forward, you also step forward, letting yourself into his space. you pause as you begin looking around the expanse of an area. it's a nice place, yeah it lives up to the pristine outside of the apartment building, save for a few empty bottles littering the floor. the place is cozy, the air in the room is comforting to you, it isn't thick or anything.

you feel comfortable here.

"you gonna stand there forever?"

you laugh at renjun's inquiry, continuing to look around his complex, picking up on the many art pieces pinned against the wall. "what else am i supposed to do?" you ask back, allowing for renjun's home decor to catch your attention, it's all strangely him, they all describe his personality so well.

"come with me".

"is that an order? or.." you get an answer to that question when you turn to renjun and he stares at you with that pointed look, so you know better than to question his words, and like a lost puppy, you follow behind him to his room.

renjun doesn't say anything more, just takes off his jacket and falls face first onto his bed. you sort of just stand there awkwardly, fidgeting with the zipper on your jacket. renjun turns over, eyes staring up at the ceiling, they then flick over to you, a soft look in them dedicated towards you.

you simply blink at him, chuckling at the display before you. renjun doesn't speak, just gestures you over with his index finger. when you step closer, you simply sigh and sit down on his soft mattress, you were about to fall back and go to sleep yourself, but you stop from doing such things. "what's up with you?"

renjun sighs, and that sigh quickly forms into a soft whine. "i'm so tired y/n" his head rests against his pillow, and his eyes begin drooping shut slowly.

you smile, he's so cute. "then sleep".

renjun seems to want to comply with that, but he thinks about it before answering. "are you still gonna be here when i wake up?"

the question baffles you, it's a question asked with pure exhaustion in his voice, a look in his eye that's so tempting you just want to dive in to kiss him at this very moment, but you stop yourself from acting on such desires, trying to seem not as desperate as you felt. you shrug at the question, which makes renjun frown. "it depends on if you want me here when you wake up".

"if i wake up in the next few hours and i don't see you right there beside me, we are going to have serious issues y/n".

his demanding tone and the serious look in his eye is enough to get another chuckle out of you. renjun then makes himself comfortable, patting the pillow beside his. "lay down with me".

"you're so bossy" you laugh, and renjun is too annoyed to punch your shoulder, so he lets out a tiny irritated grunt in response. you let your jacket fall to the floor, laying your head down onto the soft material of the pillow, almost falling asleep right then and there.

renjun reaches out and begins caressing your cheek with his thumb. again, it's strangely intimate, a satisfying touch against your face which begins to relax you. renjun has no idea why he keeps doing this, but you would tell him if you felt uncomfortable, and you aren't, you like the feeling if you say so yourself.

but just as you were about to doze off, getting coaxed to sleep by the smooth ministrations on your cheek, renjun asks one last question.

"you sure you're still gonna be here when i wake up?"

through your sleepy haze, you nod and let out a tiny chuckle, eyes closing against your own will. "i will, promise".

"promise.." renjun mimics, it's not a question, not a statement or anything, he just whispers the word into the air, continuing to stroke your cheek as he stares at you, slowly slipping into a deep sleep.

sleep quickly takes him away as well, but not before he smiles at the sight of your tired face.

AT 8:03 AM, RENJUN FOUND HIMSELF IN the same spot he fell asleep, which he very much expected. he only rubs his eyes in the slightest, they take a little too long to adjust to the light permeating through the window, though only a small crack of sunlight, it's enough to make his eyes close once again, taking a few more eye openings for them to adjust to the sight of his surrounding room. when they finally to adjust, he's quick to glance over at the spot beside him, and he smiles as he sees you in the same place he left you. you had kept your promise of still being there when he woke up, and though renjun would probably call himself stupid for this on most days, he stops and stares. he keeps his head laid back comfortably onto his pillow and watches you sleep.

that sounds pretty creepy in hindsight, but at the current moment, renjun feels like he has to stare at your snoring figure. your face is half turned into the pillow your laying on, your cheeks dusted red as they press into the soft fabric of the pillow. he giggles softly as he watches your chest rise and fall, the only sound he can hear being the inhales your taking in and the exhales your letting out.

ah, so you're not a snorer, renjun finds the fact to be surprising. it's not that he expected you to have monster snoring habits or something, but he expected at least some sort of loud noises from you while you slept, but no, you sleep so gently.

you sleep like a baby, and you also look like one in the dimly lit room. sun shining on your face, highlighting your features, your pink lips parted as you let out short breaths, your cheeks a rosy red, he can't help but smile at the sight of you sleeping in front of him.

you look so cute, so serene, renjun wants to pinch your cheek and never let go.

but then he's struck with the realization that he has to wake up, a realization that makes him frown as he lets out a small groan.

the sound emanating from his lips seems to be loud enough that you startle out of your slumber, shifting slightly against the mattress. renjun almost jumps back in surprise when he sees you shift again, rubbing your eyes and letting out a small groan. renjun doesn't take his eyes off you, though, just watches you stretch awake, then close your eyes once again.

after what seems like forever, your eyes open and you blink a few times at the male in front of you. when you stop blinking, you smile at him, as he makes no effort to even try to look away from you. "hi" you greet, taking a deep breath as you sigh against the material of the pillow under your head.

"hi" renjun greets back, unable to resist his giggle as he stares at your tired morning face.

you try your best to tilt your head, humming at his greeting. "were you watching me?" you ask immediately, trying your best to tease him even with the rasp of your voice.

"yeah".

"you creep".

renjun does nothing to confirm or deny the claim, simply hums and gently flicks your forehead, making you let out a wince of pain, a wince he's sure you're faking. "you sleep like a baby".

you furrow your eyebrows, seemingly confused by that statement. "what is that supposed to mean?"

"you sleep so peacefully, like you have no responsibilities in life".

the statement makes you snicker, and you turn more into the pillow to hide your quickly reddening face. renjun giggles again, fulfilling his desire of pinching your cheek, an act of affection that you quickly flinch away from, clearly flustered but instead feigning annoyance.

"that's a stupid way to describe it".

"was just describing what i saw".

"okay then responsible adult, go get up and do responsible adult things".

renjun rolls his eyes, shoving your shoulder and rising from his comfortable blanket, stretching his arms above his head. he slaps your thigh, eliciting a small yelp from you. "come on, let's go".

you seem puzzled by that order. "let's go where?"

"to the bathroom, we have to go brush our teeth".

"we?"

"yes we, get up i have an extra toothbrush for you".

so, again like a lost puppy, you rise from your place on renjun's bed and follow behind him to the bathroom.

you find it laughable how easily you fall under his control.

"do you enjoy ordering me around?"

"i think you enjoy being ordered around" renjun is quick to accuse, an accusation that you just chuckle at, which is all he needs as confirmation. he gets into a familiar spot in front of his mirror, picking up his toothbrush and turning on the sink. "you never question my orders, you always follow me around, do you like that in guys?"

you laugh at the words, clearly amused but clearly not offended. he picks up an extra toothbrush and hands it over to you, having to resist the urge to smile at the sight of your messy hair. "you could say something like that".

renjun scoffs softly. "you're gross" he comments, rolling his eyes as he begins brushing his teeth, staring at you through the reflection of the mirror. renjun focuses less on brushing his teeth and more on how pretty you look, even having just rolled out of bed and hair pretty much messed out of proportion, you still look so beautiful in his eye.

you notice his eyes on you, and seeing as he's currently brushing his teeth, you decide to take your chance. "if you like how i look that much you can just say so".

renjun almost bites down on his toothbrush upon hearing the words. clever asshole, he says in his head, irritated by how you took that opportunity to make a witty comment.

you grin in victory, beginning to brush your teeth just as renjun spits out the toothpaste formerly in his mouth. "you think you're sooo smooth, huh?"

he's annoyed, most definitely flustered, though, if his red cheeks are any indicator, but he's not going to give the satisfaction of flustering him (even though you definitely did). you nod at his question, proud of your flirty little comment.

"you're so annoying".

"and cute right?"

the two of you make eye contact through the mirror reflection again, and you use that opportunity to wink at him while he has his eyes on you, only making renjun scrunch his nose again.

"you're not cute".

"i think you'd disagree, seeing as how you were literally devouring me back in that bathroom".

renjun sends you a glare, immediately flipping you off as he sees you wink again in the reflection of the mirror.

"at least be nice to me".

renjun rolls his eyes so much that he's sure they're going to get stuck in the same spot.

oh you're so good at annoying him.

AT 10:48 AM, RENJUN FOUND HIMSELF IN a spot he'd rather not be in. he lets na jaemin get away with things way too often, because there are way too many bottles on the floor and at least half of them were drank by him. still, he can't just leave the mess on the floor, it's not like it'll clean itself up. after eating breakfast, and making sure to insult your favorite cereals, renjun stared at the hefty bottle mess on the floor for what seemed like years. he then rolled his eyes and let out a groan knowing he had to clean it all up. he can't really make an excuse now, so, he starts his picking up the empty bottles off the floor, cursing in his head as he finds himself starting to get annoyed once again.

"renjun! do you see this?"

oh right, you're still here. renjun pauses to look over at you, and he lightly chuckles at what he sees. your standing there (in one of his sweaters by the way holy shit) with a polaroid camera in your hands. it's a camera renjun recognizes, he used to love that thing when he first got it, but he forgot about it after a while. "where'd you find that?"

"in your room".

renjun raises an eyebrow, a grin tugging at his lips. "were you going through my stuff?"

you look baffled by the question, and you quickly stutter through your response. "no! no! i wasn't i was just looking for a sweater because you told me to and i found it in your closet!"

renjun finds it easy to laugh at your display, and the frown on your face is so cute he has to resist the urge to kiss you right then and there. "okay then, what's so interesting about it?"

"well nothing in particular i just really like polaroid cameras!"

you're so.. cute? adorable? precious? all of those adjectives describe you perfectly. you're always so giddy about the things your into, even the hobbies most people would consider "boring" you talk about with such interest, renjun has no idea why he notices you this way, it's never been like this with most of his new years flings. yeah most of them have made it to his home, but it's simply something about you, you make renjun feel a sort of way he never thought he'd feel for a guy he met at a bar on new years eve.

you don't feel like just a fling, you feel like more than that, you sort of feel like home in a way. he would love to go out with you sometime, even if the new years eve bathroom makeout session never happened, he thinks a date with you would be perfect, he can already envision it now.

but wait, why is he doing that? why is he standing here, staring at your pretty face, and thinking about dating you? there's no way he feels anything serious for you, right? it's not like he's in love with you, he can't be! you don't fall in love with someone you've only known for a good eleven hours!

he isn't even sure if he knows what love is, but he knows he can't be in love with you.

renjun snaps out of his thoughts when he hears the click of a camera, he immediately turns to over to you, and he frowns as he sees your fingers on the button of the camera. "y/n".

you blink, catching his frown, any playfulness in your tone immediately disappears. "what? did i do something wrong?"

"why'd you take a picture?"

you again seem baffled by the question, because you let out a small snicker. "you looked very pretty in the moment".

"i don't think that's true".

"it is! you're so photogenic are you kidding me!?"

you stare at the polaroid containing the picture of renjun in your hands, smiling softly at what you see. renjun smiles at the words, feeling his cheeks flare up as you gaze down at the polaroid. "you're so corny".

"and you're still cornier".

renjun snickers, but he doesn't say anymore, turning away from you to focus back on picking up the bottles on the floor. you finally look up, placing the polaroid of him on the counter. "you seem very into that".

you hum, stepping closer to him. "i told you! i really like polaroid cameras!" renjun turns back to you, and he almost falls onto the floor realizing how close you are.

you stare down at the camera, playing with the several buttons. "i don't have a polaroid camera back at my place, but i have a point and shoot camera! maybe i can show it to you sometime".

you smile as you say those words, immediately turning around and going to place the camera on the counter, you miss renjun's reaction to your words. what did you mean by sometime? does that mean you're still going to talk after this? does that mean you're planning to take him to your place at least once? he can't help but overthink the words instantly.

but before he can ask you about it, you gasp. "you've been cleaning on your own the whole time!? let me help you!"

and renjun doesn't exactly know when to bring up his many thoughts, so the two of you begin cleaning the bottles together. you make sure to slip out a few more flirty comments in that time, comments that renjun makes sure to combat with steady glares and muttered curses, even with how red his face becomes.

for some reason, this feels.. right. renjun finds cleaning with you to be fun, he's enjoying even the smallest of moments he can share with you.

it sort of feels like you two are dating.

renjun spends way too much of his time staring at you. staring at you pick up bottles from the floor, staring at you ramble about cereal, staring at you take many more polaroids of him, polaroids you stated you'd "cherish forever".

this is strange, it's strange how he feels. it's strange how you make him feel, he doesn't remember the last time he ever felt this way for any guy, for anyone.

so, as renjun watches you wash the dishes, listening to your ramblings, he wonders if this is what love feels like, if this is what you were talking about back at the bar when you first met. you snicker at something you said in one of your random stories, but you stop as you notice renjun zoning out, clearly not paying attention to you.

"what are you thinking about?" you ask, drying off the plate and placing it back in the rack. renjun again snaps out of his daze, immediately breaking eye contact with you as he feels his face burn. "come on! renjunie~"

your wet finger touches his cheek, making him bite his inner cheek. "just.. something".

"you're not going to tell me about this something?"

renjun shakes his head, uncharacteristically silent. "i don't know if i'm ready to tell you about my stupid thoughts".

you get his words, so you don't press on. "alright, if you ever do want to tell me, you know i'm here".

renjun can only really stare at you, it's then that the realization dawns on him. oh god he likes you, he likes you so much that he might die if he doesn't spit it out instantly.

and when he sees you smile again, he has to use every ounce of energy in his body to not collapse onto the floor.

AT 6:17 PM, RENJUN FOUND HIMSELF IN a little bit of a crisis, a crisis that's begun all because of you. he feels his palms begin getting sweaty, and he can't stare at you for too long or he'll literally melt from how heated his face is becoming. it's literally january, it should be so cold that he's frozen, but he's burning every time he stares at you. he feels so embarrassed just saying something to you, and you can clearly tell you're getting to him because your smiles slowly begin to turn into smirks, smirks that burn into his brain and make his thoughts turn into mush in an instant. now he can't really tell you about his thoughts, because he's afraid of spilling his true feelings if he does.

renjun doesn't feel like any of this is intentional, you're not stringing him along just so you can break his heart and never contact him again.. at least, he hopes you're not. renjun feels like he's been through this exact process so many times, but none of the previous times have ever transpired like this before. you have to be an alien of some sorts, renjun has never met someone like you.

he hears his inner voice laughing in his mind, making fun of him for falling so easily into your hands. you do this each time, renjun, you say it's going to be different this coming new year and it never is, how long until you stop falling for these guys who don't care?

a pit forms in his stomach at the thought, and renjun finds himself upset much more easily than he thought he'd be.

love is weird, love has always been weird. it's never been easy for renjun to ever get love, either he got backstabbed by someone he thought he was on good terms with, or they would ghost him because they weren't interested but couldn't say it with their own fucking words.

why does he assume it'll be any different with you?

why does he assume that you're probably just as into him as he is you? what if he's reading everything wrong and you're really only here for one thing? what if you're just playing the long game?

renjun feels like he has no idea what's real or what's not. he can't read you and it makes him much more anxious than anything, he doesn't want to think that you're just like everyone else but considering his luck with love on new years, you probably are.

he feels like he's about to throw up.

"are you really going to quit your job?"

renjun asks that question out of desperation, out of the need for a conversation. your eyes flick over to him, and a smile comes to your face as you register the question. you look so pretty, the lighting in the room accentuates your features. "with the way it's going there? yeah".

"aren't you afraid of not being able to find more work..?" he bites his inner cheek, he has no idea why he asks that, he doesn't have control over your actions, you could quit whenever you want to, what difference would his opinion make.

"no, i have backup plans for that".

renjun didn't really expect that as an answer, but it's a good answer nonetheless, because he finds himself smiling at your words. "what's with your job that's shitty? is it the people? is it your coworkers?"

"that place is making me feel like garbage under someone's shoe, can't do anything without being yelled at or cussed out by a higher up because i'm being slow, customers lay their hands on me and i can't even do anything because the customer is always right!"

your frustrated, genuinely, probably the first ever time he's seen you frustrated since the clock struck twelve. just seeing you so frustrated is enough to weird him out, so he quickly tries to change the subject. "i hope you succeed at your resolution, that place sounds like hell".

"it is hell, the moment i can escape the confines of that place i'll be free, but anyway, what are you going to do to make your resolution come true?"

renjun blinks at you, mind suddenly blank. "what?"

you shift in your place on the other side of the couch, focusing all of your attention on renjun, who is struggling not to melt under your stare. "your resolution was to stop making mistakes with people you love or whatever, how are you going to fulfill that?"

renjun pauses, silence enveloping the room, he doesn't exactly know how to answer that, yeah he said his resolution with confidence, but that might've just been the alcohol that was in his system at that moment. how was he supposed to stop making the same mistake over and over again if he was currently doing it right now? he's sitting here with you, the cute guy he met at a bar on new years eve that he couldn't resist, it's a repetitive cycle that will never end.

renjun feels like an idiot, a hypocrite, how did he manage to fail at his whole resolution on new years day? he can't believe how easily he surrendered himself to you.

but when renjun glances up at you, catching your eyes in the process, he almost wants to fall into your arms and never leave them, he wants to wrap his arms around you and never let go.

"i think that resolution will take a while to reach, love is complicated and all.. i really just need time, i guess".

"time?"

renjun is afraid his voice is going to sound too quiet if he speaks. you stare at him with those eyes again, you stare at him as if you're in love with him, and renjun thinks that's crazy, because why would you ever be in love with him? the idea is a stupid one, he should cast it aside.

"yeah time, time is precious.. love takes time, i think this year, i'll be willing to wait for it".

the words strike you in a way you don't expect, and renjun picks up on it, because you pause for a moment and stare at him for a while. you stare for so long that renjun swears he's going to melt under your gaze, you then smile, your smile so pretty that renjun swears he's going to fall to the floor.

"how long are you willing to wait?"

"as long as it takes".

your about to respond again, but renjun quickly stands up, changing the subject. "do you like coffee ice cream?" he immediately asks, glancing at his fridge as he tries his best to pretend he's unaffected by your pretty eyes staring at him like that.

your eyes light up, clearly entertained by the idea of an ice cream party happening. "yeah, i like all ice cream flavors".

renjun snorts, clearly amused by your response. "weirdo".

you furrow your eyebrows, feigning offense at the words. renjun smiles at the perturbed look on your face, walking over to his fridge to go get the ice cream he had mentioned. "your calling me weird? you're so mean to me".

renjun doesn't listen to your complaints, he snickers at your tone of voice. you frown as you hear him laugh, crossing your arms stubbornly and turning away from him when he comes back with pints of ice cream. "are you mad at me?"

you don't respond.

renjun scoffs playfully, sitting down across from you. he blinks at you, watching you resist the urge to smile. "y/n~"

"shut up i'm trying to ignore you".

"you can't ignore me! or no ice cream!"

you gasp at the words, immediately giving him all of your attention. "hey! you can't do that if you offered it to me!"

"i can! and i will!"

"come on huang renjun!"

renjun only giggles as your complaints skyrocket in volume.

AT 11:34 PM, RENJUN FOUND HIMSELF ON top of the world. okay, not literally, but he felt like he was at the very moment. you had stayed for much longer than the both of you intended for you to, you kept saying that you would leave whenever, stop making renjun feel uncomfortable (did you really think you were making him feel that way? oh you have no idea), but he continued to deny your claims, he denied it until 11 o'clock rolled around and he found himself back at the time he started, except it was all different now. renjun is on the rooftop of his apartment building, staring up at the sky and the shining stars that create a line of luminosity across the airspace. the only reason renjun is on the roof right now is because you convinced him.

you managed to convinced him so easily, pleading eyes on display and pout enormous.

"renjun?" you asked as you walked into the kitchen, staring outside the open window at the night sky, lightly shivering at the cold air that hit you. "can i ask for a favor?"

renjun turned to you, running a hand through his hair as he stared at you. he's probably do you a million favors, how hasn't he done you one today?

"yeah, ask away".

you paused for a moment, staring at renjun for a what seemed like forever (in renjun's metrics), a seemingly anxious look in your eyes. "are we allowed to go to the rooftop of the building?"

renjun furrowed his eyebrows, puzzled by the question, why would you be curious about that?

"uh.. why?"

you stayed silent for a while, the longest you've ever gone without talking to renjun this day, that's weird, he's used to you running your mouth all the time. your eyes casted to the side, and renjun narrowed his own, noticing your sudden nervousness.

"i wanna go look at the stars.." you muttered, not looking at renjun as you said those words.

renjun let out a small laugh at the realization of what you wanted, but you seemed to think he was making fun of you, because you looked away again, clearly embarrassed by his laughter. "you know what we don't have to just pretend i never asked that i'll go now—"

"no no no! don't take it that way, i think it's cute, i'll go with you".

renjun likes describing your fascination for stars as 'cute', a fact that you made sure to note as you watched him grab his jacket. "what are you waiting for? come on!"

and what do you do when the huang renjun gives you an order? you obey like a mind controlled robot.

so, you allowed for renjun to take your hand (an action that flustered you much more than it should've) and lead you up to roof of his apartment building, the cold january air doing nothing to deter him from his mission, the mission he wanted to complete because of you.

your fingers are still intertwined when you make it up there, but your now less focused on his warm hands and more on the luminous lights in the night sky. your jacket is unzipped, barely protecting you from the freezing temperature of the outside, but the stars are much more appealing to you.

renjun chuckles lightly, feeling you squeeze his hand as another breeze of cold air rushes past you. "you're so into them y/n" he teases, nudging you with his shoulder.

"they're so pretty" you mutter, your eyes practically sparkling with amazement.

renjun watches you for what seems like forever (in his own metrics), distracted by your face. he admires your pure interest, it makes him smile, a smile that you clearly notice, as he catches your glancing eyes.

you then sigh, shivering lightly from the cold air outside. "renjun, i have a question for you".

your tone is much more serious than he expects it to be, and a pit forms in his stomach almost immediately. "you have to answer it with complete honesty though okay?"

renjun almost can't look you in the eye, and you grab both of his hands, facing him as you begin swinging your laced hands back and forth. renjun nods, almost a little too enthusiastically, but he can't exactly worry about that right now.

"do you like me?"

god of course i do, are you stupid?

but renjun bites his tongue, just chuckling and looking to the side. he squeezes your hands, looking back at you with an indescribable expression. "yes".

you look surprised, which surprises renjun himself. "yes? like actually—"

"y/n i don't know what you think has been transpiring today but— i don't know i really do like you, i'm not sure if it's love yet or whatever but i don't want to just let you go, i don't want for this day to end and for us to go back to being strangers again i.. i want to keep you in my life".

you blink, baffled by the words. your face reddens, you hope you can use the cold as an excuse for that. "really?"

renjun lets out a silent laugh, you're so cute. "yes really, was i not obvious?"

"was i not obvious?"

renjun realizes the irony of the situation, and he giggles again, looking down at the floor. "you're so dumb y/n" he pokes your cheek with his index finger. "but yeah, i'd like to go out with you sometime.. like, on a date".

your about to fall to the floor.

"alright, we can start with that.. dates, no labels, no rushing, we can take time with this".

renjun likes the sound of that, and he communicates that thought to you with another squeeze of your hand, smiling prettily at you. "i can get behind that" he leans closer intentionally. "can i still kiss you though?"

you roll your eyes, he's adorable, you lean forward and press a kiss to his lips, your way of answering his question. "yes, you dummy".

renjun scoffs softly, ignoring how quickly his face is heating up. "you're corny".

"and you're still cornier".

renjun would fight with you on it, but he thinks he'll let you have this win tonight.

RENJUN IS EATING HIS LUNCH WHEN JAEMIN brings it up, he wasn't really listening to his friends converse all this time, distracted by something else, or someone else.. he supposes. his head finally shoots up after a good twenty minutes of him ignoring his friends conversation about if mark could beat jeno in a fight, and he's met with a smug smiling na jaemin, a look he's quick to furrow his eyebrows at. jaemin snickers as he sees renjun's confusion, ready to ask a completely idiotic question. "renjunie? how did you and your little fling turned out?" the question is one jaemin probably should've asked a week ago, but he's asking it now that january is coming to a close? how amusing.

renjun blinks, chuckling immediately at the question. "what do you mean?"

jaemin scowls, slapping his arm lightly. "that cute guy you took home on new years eve! what happened between you two?"

"oh the cute guy?" chenle is quick to inquire as he turns to the older, jaemin nods in response. "yeah him! what was his name again..? y/n?"

"oh right! he was cute! did he let you hit?"

"excuse me?"

"i can't believe i passed out!" donghyuck whines in frustration, earning a small pat on the back from jeno, who was trying his best to stifle his giggles. "i wanted to meet renjun's cute guy" he pouts, sinking into his seat with crossed arms.

"oh he was so cute, hyuck, renjun got lucky with him".

"and funny too! funnier than the asshole from our last new years eve outing!"

renjun simply watches as jaemin and chenle go on to rave about you to donghyuck, who seems impressed even though you aren't even there, he laughs in his head at the fact, you're so charming you don't even have to be present to impress his friends.

"he sounds better than the other guys".

"he is!"

jaemin then turns back to renjun, forgetting about his first mission entirely. "soooo renjunie? how'd it go with your guy? did you sleep with him?"

renjun's face flushes at the question, he is very much embarrassed. he rolls his eyes, face practically on fire. "..yes".

"was he good?"

"don't ask that!"

jaemin yelps at the slap he gets from renjun, pouting as he stares at him. "asshole" he's quick to say, sticking his tongue out at the older, who just rolls his eyes again.

"so what happened after that?"

"what?"

chenle is clearly very invested in this. "did he just leave after that? did you get his number? are you two still in touch?"

"and if you aren't can you give me his socials?"

renjun gives jaemin a side glare, answering the question with almost a minute of silence. he hesitates before saying anything, earning weird looks from his friends. "well.."

"come on! spit it out!"

"don't rush me" renjun grits his teeth, fidgeting with the collar of his shirt as he thinks about you, a small smile coming to his face as he does. "were going on a date later today.."

chenle gasps, jaemin yells, donghyuck slams his hand onto the table, and jeno begins silently clapping. "real shit!?"

"yeah.."

"oh my god!" jaemin squeals, shaking renjun out of pure excitement. "congrats renjunie!"

renjun just lets him at this point, laughing at his energy. "don't get so up, it's not official yet were just going out".

"still! progress is being made!"

renjun can't resist his smile, and he looks down to avoid eye contact with his friends.

"renjun!"

renjun snaps his head towards the voice, seeing the front desk clerk walking up to him with a bouquet of peonies in his hands. "hi, do you need something?"

the clerk smiles, extending the bouquet towards him. "a guy came here and dropped these off, he told me to give them to you".

renjun blinks, slowly taking the bouquet of flowers as he pieces the puzzle together. "thank you" he whispers, staring at the flowers in his hands as his face heats up quickly.

as he examines the bouquet, ignoring the teasing of his friends, he finds a note, a note that he immediately smiles at upon reading.

a little birdie told me these were your favorite flowers? i can see why :) anyway, eat well, i'll see you tonight pretty!!

love, y/n ♡

oh you're so sweet.

jaemin gasps as he reads from the older's shoulder. "i can't believe it! you hit the jackpot with this guy renjunie!" but renjun can't even find it in himself to get mad at jaemin for being nosy, he's too busy trying to not cry at this gesture.

renjun can't believe he has you, he feels so lucky, like the happiest guy in the world.

"why can't i get flowers from a cute guy? when is it my turn?!"

renjun only chuckles at chenle's complaints, much too distracted thinking about you.

[littlespoonevan]

it’s been said before but the thing about wga strike that i find most hilarious (in a dramatic irony kind of way) is that the studio execs’ big bargaining chip should be audiences getting angry over their fave shows being delayed/cancelled and turning on the writers except, with the age of streaming now, the average wait for any streaming-only show to launch a new season is like, at minimum a year. they really made us all get used to a system of ‘here’s 10 episodes in one go you’ll get the next bunch in 12-15 months’ and now think we’ll be annoyed bc what? we’ll have to wait 18 months instead??? bc the shows might get cancelled??? when they cancel them left right and centre without any warning as it is??? there was a three year gap between s3 and s4 of stranger things and s4 still dominated the entire internet all last summer. it didn’t lose any viewers, if anything, it gained them. even without covid delaying things (which is another reason we got used to long waits) all of the most popular streaming shows tend to have year long gaps between seasons and have done for years. like, delay the next season of my show by 4 years, idc, i’ll still be here just pay the fucking writers

[hkthatgffan]

As someone dying of lupus (it's hard to draw atm due to shakey hands), and is slow with comissions, I never ask for money first, rather than after i finish. And if I don't get it done in 3 months, I apologize and try to give them a free doodle of their choice, no money given to me at all.

Even if I moved slow, I'd always keep them up to speed with what was happening, if I can/cannot do the drawing or give them something small and free to compensate for the months gone by so at least someone gets a little something for waiting.

And if I get it done, then I get my payment (since my health is unpredictable, I like to get paid after. Makes me feel better, to not be paid upfront because it makes me feel better on touching up, asking if changes needed to the art, anything added, etc. Or if my health simply won't allow, at least they'll get something in the end.)

Idk. I just find it rather cruel to leave people in the dark like that. I deal with abuse, awful illnesses litterally tearing me apart, i've lost half if not most my family and had to do artwork or refund/explain if artwork couldn't be completed regardless.

There's no excuse to leave people behind, block, ignore,ghost, and run off with cash.

I've met really rude people in this fandom, and I really wish people would just take five seconds to go "ok here's what's happening, do you want your cash back?" Like it's not hard.

The day of the last few gf episodes, I was in the hospital because my organs weren't working properly and almost exploded my digestive track due to nerve damage,

Yet I still managed to

Let my friends know the art trades will be unfinished and you won't need to give me anything in return (because i always prefer to do them first incase something happens)

Let those who did used to pay me first get their 15 bucks back

All while my insides almost ruptured from gastroparesis 🎉🥳 and my friend died all in the same day i went and stayed two weeks in the hospital desperately trying to apologize for the delay and doing whatever I could to explain my situation and if they needed anything in return/makeup for it.

That's straight up MEAN to ignore and block someone and run off with the cash. There's no excuse.

Even when I was screaming in agony in my hospital bed, I still managed to give a refund or something or talk to the person and not leave them in the dust. :/

I am so sorry you were left in the dark.

OMG, I'm so, so sorry about all you've been through. That is honestly a truly painful and horrible thing to endure I wouldn't wish on even my worst enemies and people who like with you, made me endure some of the worst that I've seen from people in this fandom.

But also you're right. No matter the reason and no matter how long it may be, a person who has accepted a job...be it an art commission or something else, should at the bare minimum, communicate with the person they are being paid to do that for.

The sad thing is that me and everyone I mentioned in my post had been doing things the right way for ages. We gave Kiki-Kit time (more than we should've), communicated to her through the proper channels she had set up, were nice and patient and yet she never responded to any of us. It literally left us with no choice but to call her out...something none of us wanted to do!

That's what really disappoints me about it all. IDC if she was to take another year to finish my commission. It was a non time sensitive comm I just got from her cause it was a chance to support an artist I respected and admired who was going through a rough time and get a personalized art piece from them. But her lack of communicating really has been upsetting. No matter what she was going through, she could have at least made a post or update to us saying things would take time or even just not say an arbitrary completion date and then miss it with months without another update. No one would be mad at her if she just communicated with us better. That's all that this boils down to; lack of communication!

I get upset and apologize if I miss messaging someone back even for a few hours. And I feel even worse if I miss a DM or message sent my way and then see it maybe days later. None of us are after Kiki-Kit or want her to be remembered for this by the fandom. It pained me greatly to make that post. But with all that has come out, it was overdue.

I still believe she can rectify this all if she just responds and agrees to refund or complete comms from everyone still waiting, that's all it'll take. I doubt anyone will wanna buy a comm from her again who are aware of all this, but at least it's better than not responding to people who fucking paid her and are waiting!

At this point personally, I'm getting my money back from her if she does offer it and so are probably everyone else who I've spoken to. It's not something I want to do given the whole reason behind why she did those comms in the first place...but this whole situation has just left a bad taste in us all and quite frankly, we've had enough.

I just hope if or when Kiki-Kit does address this all, she does better moving forward.

[i-cant-sing]

Wait your god has never disappointed you before that sounds really nice I’m happy for you when I pray to my god I always feel like nothing happens like I was having a breakdown and asked god for an answer and no response

Omg I don't wanna sound like I'm trying brain wash u or inviting u to a cult, but like Islam as a religion? The best. I am not kidding when I say that Allah has never disappointed me. Everything I have ever asked for, I either got it (immeadiately or with delay), did not get it and realised it was harmful for me, GOT SOMETHING BETTER THAN WHAT I ASKED FOR.

Allah and me? He is my Lord and Provider and God, but also like my best friend because when no one got me, HE GOT ME. I think there's been one too many times in my life when I'm like "there's nothing else humanly possible for me to do anything about this." And then Allah steps in and is like "I'm here! What you want?"

Like idc what religion or spiritual thing you guys have going on, there's just that one time, one experience where deep down, you know that some higher power was at play. There's just no way this is all a coincidence.

I BOMB a test, and like I know, I KNOW I'm gonna fail it, but I pray to Allah to just let me pass and HE HELPSSSS.

I ask for a holiday, Allah gives me a holiday. I ask for weight loss without working out? I lose 7 kgs. I feel sad or depressed or insomnia? I pray (usually Isha or Tahajud) AND ITS GOOD MENTAL HEALTH WEEK FOR ME.

Love you Allah💖🫶

And like not to mention, Islam as a religion has already told us about so many things that are now backed up by science, but Islam did it like what??? 2500 years ago??? Like waking up early, or about the earthquakes and natural disasters, or why you should sit or drink in a particular posture. (Also it mentioned a lot about current world affairs as well- Palestine). But not only that, the prophetic stories are so beautiful and heart touching. Like did I bawl like a baby when I read about Ali and Fatima's love story (and also the Ashura tragedy) and Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) interactions and guidance and heartbreaks and sufferings and 😭😭😭😭

[huellitaa]

bee's record player, may edition 🎀𓂃 ࣪˖

──★ ˙ ̟🎀 INTRO

and here is the long awaited, albeit delayed arrival of bee's record player: may issue! ♡ (went for a slightly different theme this month, how do we feel about it?

this month there was not in fact many music releases or much going on in the music world, but we do still have a few things to discuss for this month's issue:

──★ ˙ ̟🎀 NEW ARRIVALS

risk, gracie abrahams

♡ released may 1st, 2024

♡ pre release single

♡ running time: 3 minutes 12 seconds

take a bite, beabadoobee

♡ released may 9th, 2024

♡ pre release single

♡ running time: 2 minutes 39 seconds

you had me at hello, zerobaseone

♡ released may 13th, 2024

♡ extended play / EP

♡ best songs: have not yet listened! ♡

♡ running time: 20 minutes 48 seconds

dark moon "memorabilia", enhypen

♡ released may 13th, 2024

♡ EP / extended play

♡ best songs: have not yet listened! ♡

♡ running time: 19 minutes 48 seconds

hit me hard and soft, billie eillish

♡ released may 17th, 2024

♡ full length album / LP

♡ best songs: birds of a feather, lunch, chihiro, bittersuite, blue

♡ running time: 43 minutes 49 seconds

turn it up, pinkpantheress

♡ released may 24th, 2024

♡ single

♡ running time: 2 minutes 27 seconds

how sweet, newjeans

♡ released may 24th, 2024

♡ single

♡ running time: 6 minutes 59 seconds

sixth sense, kiss of life

♡ released may 25th, 2024

♡ single

♡ running time: 3 minutes 11 seconds

armaggedon: the 1st album, aespa

♡ released may 27th, 2024

♡ full length album / LP

♡ best songs: supernova, armaggedon, bahama, long chat, melody

♡ running time: 30 minutes 58 seconds

loop, yves

♡ released may 29th, 2024

♡ extended play / EP

♡ best songs: diorama , loop ft. lil cherry (♡)

♡ running time: 12 minutes 6 seconds

──★ ˙ ̟🎀BEE'S TRACKS: TOP 10

♡ 10. red wine supernova, chappell roan

CHAPPELL ROAN CHAPPELL ROAN CHAPPELL ROAN CHAPPELL ROAN LETS GO LESBIANS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i've been SO obsessed w chappell roan this month and this song is. oh my gosh. the red wine sueprnova bridge changed lives idc everybody go listen to chappell roan right now !!!!!!!!!!! <3

♡ 9. midas touch, kiss of life

i love this song!!!! oh my gosh!!!!!!! i've been so into kiss of life the past month or so and i love love love this song so much, it's such a vibe u don't get it. i didn't like it at first but it's so cunty so that makes it all good in my books <3 also kiof vocals are no joke see 5th gen kpop this is what happens when you debut actual adults !! <3

♡ 8. telepatia, kali uchis

i don't know if it's just the pretty summer girl vibes this song has or the immense love i have for latina women in music but like oh my gosh this song?????? i'm so????????? i can't do this?????? definitely wasn't lured in by the pink on the cover nope nope nope but like i seriously need to get into her more u don't get it

♡ 7. turn it up, pinkpantheress

i do not often listen to pinkpantheress but she came up on my spotify and i'd heard good things about her and liked the pink on the song cover so i gave it a listen and u don't understand the chokehold she's had on me this month i'm so obsessed. her vibes r EVERYTHING

♡ 6. bahama, aespa

AGAIN. THE PRETTY SUMMER GIRL VIBES ARE IMMACULATE. alcohol free was THE summer kpop song for me before but aespa has overtaken this title i fear! their voices are so pretty and the whole summery beachy vibes are absolutely PERFECT <3 aespa u ate so hard w this one !!!!! <3

♡ 5. birds of a feather, billie eillish

i am so in love with this song and have been since it came out oh my gosh. the vibes are immaculate, her voice is literally angelic, the lyrics are everything to me and i want this song at my wedding. i do not take criticism case closed thank u very much

♡ 4. how sweet, newjeans

AHHHHHHH OH MY GOSH i just know this song would have been higher if it hadn't only come out a few days before the end of may but the energy is everything, and the prechorus?????????? hello??????? obsessed??????????? my girls still going strong despite whatever the heck is going on at hybe at the moment idk but ate as usual !! <3

♡ 3. take a bite, beabadoobee

OH MY GOSH I LOVE THIS SONG SO MUCH,,, I'VE BEEN SO HYPED FOR IT SINCE IT WAS FIRST TEASED ON SPOTIFY AND I ACTUALLY . I. IM SO OBSESSED U DONT UNDERSTNAD IT S= NOT EVEN FUNNY I'M SO EXCITED FOR AUGUST 16TH

♡ 2. good luck, babe!, chappell roan

I CANNOT. I HAVE BEEN SO OBSESSED W CHAPPELL ROANB THIS MRONTH SHE ISW MY EVERYTHNIG. HER VOCALS IN THIS SONG I FEEL LIKE I'M ASCENDING TO HEAVEN EVERY DAY OF MY LIFE I'VE SPENT WITHOUT CHAPPELL ROAN FEELS LIKE EVERY DAY WASTED CHAPPELL ROAN IS LOVE LIFE CHAPPELL R

♡ 1. bubble gum, newjeans

alright anyway anddd onto number one,, the song that has been on loop since release, bubble gum by my favourite girlies newjeans!!! <3 my best friend has been BEGGING me to listen to this for weeks now and oh my gosh i felt so stupid when she finally made me listen to it because it is a literal work of art. maybe i'm a sucker for summery songs at the moment, maybe it's the fact the music video makes me violently sob from how sweet it is and danielle's curly hair and hanni's short hair makes my eyes turn into hearts but like i adore this song. i think one of my favourite compliments i've ever gotten is that i look like this song 😭<33

──★ ˙ ̟🎀ALBUMS

♡ 1. rise and fall of a midwest princess, chappell roan

woahhhh this is sooo surprisinggggg ahahahahaaaa!!! this album is everything to me u DONT get it i LOVE chappell roan i LOVE cunty lesbians i LOVE music i EUAHHRRRRRRRR

♡ 2. super real me, illit

i am still not over this debut i fear......... midnight fiction was #11 on my top tracks of this month and the chokehold these girls had and still have on me since march is ridiculous. best kpop debut quite possibly ever i rest my case

♡ 3. beatopia, beabadoobee

BEABADOOBEE I LOVE YOU so basically i've been listening to bea a lot more since i got my bsf into her too and the amount of times i've relistened to beatopia and our extended play in this month alone is absolutely ridiculous. i adore her so much oh my gosh what i would GIVE to hear 10:36 live !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <3

♡ 4. hit me hard and soft, billie eillish

i've listened to this album so many times since it came out oh my gosh. i'm obsessed. i am not a big billie eillish listener, i liked her when she was super popular but since then i haven't really listened to her, but i love love love this album oh my gosh she ate so bad

♡ 5. armageddon, aespa

i was so excited for this album !!! especially as it's their first full length one after four years of being one of THE most iconic kpop girl groups in my honest and humble (and completely correct) opinion, and though it was not as amazing and perfect and fantastic as i hoped it's a pretty solid album and the more i listened the more i liked and it's really grown on me honestly !!!!

──★ ˙ ̟🎀ARTISTS

♡ CHAPPELL ROAN (the fact she even overtook tubatu in this column just tells u how obsessed i am. it's not even funny anymore.)

♡ TOMORROW X TOGETHER (everybody act surprised again !!! )

♡ BEABADOOBEE (bea ily forever)

♡ ARIANA GRANDE (yes i'm still on my ari shit!!!!)

♡ AVRIL LAVIGNE (quick guys pretend you can't tell i'm emo)

──★ ˙ ̟🎀SPECIAL MENTIONS

♡ bea announced her new album,, "this is how tomorrow moves"!! everybody go presave her new album IMMEDIATELY <3 releases august 16th !!!!!! <333333

──★ ˙ ̟🎀 EDITOR'S NOTE

aaaaaand that wraps up this month's issue of bee's record player! once again i'd like to apologise for making u whole month to actually get this month's edition but you're getting a double edition to make up for it so we're all good. thank you all for your patience and i look forward to seeing you again very soon! ♡

all my love, and until next month! 💘🫶🏻🎀

[anghraine]

hey there! i absolutely adore your blog, moreso because i ventured into it for the absolutely based darcy & elizabeth takes, but learned that you were somehow also ??? a faramir lover??? i'm sorry this is how people in soulmate aus must feel because holyyyy shit. you don't know me but i feel like your ramblings were custom made for me (in as non-creepy a way as possible).

you've somehow rekindled my love for lotr, which was a major part of my 8 yr old life. i only read lotr and the hobbit (the hobbit reading experience was also tainted because foolish 8 yr me read it off the high of finishing lotr, and went "wait it's about a dragon? that's it? ewww). but i am making time out of my schedule to reread and also finally read the silmarillion! so excited.

faramir was my first fandom blorbo and probably the one i still hold the most unrestrained, uncomplicated adoration for. i remember being an enthusiastic aragorn supporter until the end of return of the king when i realized faramir wasn't going to be ruling steward. then, i turned into movie boromir and just started muttering "gondor has no king. gondor needs no king." over and over. little me read a few lines about faramir and tossed aragorn out the window: "yes, i know you are a main character i've followed for a long time. i know you want this and basically everyone important & good in the novel supports you. but idc faramir would be a great ruler and who are you to show up out of nowhere and-"

probably the only person who left the happy ending of return of the king feeling so grumpy. i was the bitter guest wearing white at aragorn's wedding coronation.

anyways, all this to say that you are amazing, and elementary school me is feeling so much catharsis reading textually supported faramir appreciation.

Hi, anon!

I delayed responding because I really wanted to give this a properly thoughtful response after it made my day (Darcy/Elizabeth + Faramir stans unite!!!), but I've been busy and didn't have the time for everything I would like to say. However, I also didn't want you to think I'd missed it or been offended or something.

So thank you very, very much. I really appreciated receiving this, especially at a time when I'm less active. I'm glad you've enjoyed both the Darcy/Elizabeth and Faramir back catalogue (and my Aragorn naysaying haha) and your elementary school self is very right :D

[phleb0tomist]

hi there, hope ur having a good day/evening/night! im currently writing my college dissertation about accessible tourism and was wondering what was your experience with it: have you ever gone on a holiday and had to had accomodations prepared for you? if so, what kind of accomodations? if not, what sort of accomodations would be necessary for you to go out on a holiday? please excuse me if i'm too straightforward, it's just an interesting topic i've been thinking about for the past 3 months and it reminded me of you.

thank you for reading!

hi! oo interesting subject. good luck with your dissertation!! I’ll just blurt out some thoughts, idk which parts may be of interest but here we go :)

travel is hard and weird for me but i attempt it anyway! whilst my family and i always do extensive organising and checking before travel, a lot of the things hotels/airports promise us end up falling through, so we have to accept in advance that accommodations will not always work out. often we book an accessible room but then arrive to find it has steps or bulky furniture which blocks me from moving thru the room in my chair. c’est la vie

as for the specific arrangements we make… when i go anywhere i need 1-2 carers close by, so we get adjoining rooms. we call ahead to confirm that any place we’re staying is accessible and ideally has a wetroom. a lot of hotels/apartments purport to be accessible but then my wheelchair doesn’t actually fit into the bathroom. for my health condition i need to block out daylight, so we look at pics of the rooms online to make sure they have long curtains/blinds that fully close, or we call the place to ask. I legit will not go somewhere with flimsy decorative curtains ! i also can’t use overhead lights, I only use lamps (they’re dimmer & more diffuse), so if a place doesn’t appear to have dim/adjustable lamps then I won’t go. other things that are helpful to have in the room: kettle to make hot water bottles (i use them round the clock), and fridge to store liquid food for when I can’t eat regular stuff.

for car/auto travel there needs to be enough space for me to lie down in the back of the vehicle, with cushions to support me. this is possibly illegal 😻 but if i wasn’t able to do that then i couldn’t really leave my home at all, so idc. (in a magical accessible world we’d have a vehicle with a stretcher with seatbelts or smth, but this is too expensive). this sometimes means we need to use multiple vehicles despite there only being 4 of us because I take up the entire backseat of the car :/

for plane travel we prebook special assistance, which is basically mandatory if you’re a wheelchair user in an airport but it’s quite hassley and often adds an extra hour to our time at the airport bc of staffing delays and miscommunications etc. any time that we’re not actively moving through the airport, i lie down across benches (or on a blanket on the floor if needs be) in the most private areas we can find. ideally there would be a stretcher available to minimise time spent upright without making me lie in weird places but this has never been an option. but that would make travel 100x easier for me. i also have to use either an ambulift (awful👎) or tunnel (awesome👍) to get onto the plane, and an aisle chair once I’m on the plane. these require booking.

this stuff is all pretty specific to me personally, i hope it’s still an interesting perspective!