#but its been making drawing anything digitally such a pain
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Screw you wacom ughhhh
#or intuos or w/e idc#its still being fucky ever since i had to reinstall the driver#like. it still works?? but its *just* enough to be a pain in the ass#like rightclicking having a delay or strokes lagging at the start or the custom pen buttons not working#and idk if its bc i cant get the wacom center to work or bc there are remnants of the pther driver that i missed or what#but its been making drawing anything digitally such a pain#ugh#maybe ill get a new cheap one idk#not a wacom one though thats for sure
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—SCENARIO: Sebastian asks P.AI.nter to draw his spouse while delving in the memories of their sunkissed proposal.
Tags: Sebastian is agressive at the beginning, soft hours with p.ai.nter, fluff and comfort, Sebastian is married to gn!reader
words: 1,3k
“Like this?” P.AI.nter's voice broke the silence, and the image of a beautiful young person appeared on his screen. It was clear that P.AI.nter had put a lot of effort into the picture, every stroke and detail meticulously crafted. Sebastian, who was sitting across from his friend, lifted his gaze from the file in his hand to study the drawing. His eyes traced the lines and shapes before he shook his head, frustration bubbling up inside him.
“THIS LOOKS NOTHING LIKE THEM!”
Sebastian suddenly yelled, his voice echoing through the room. He threw the file he had been reading at P.AI.nter’s screen, the papers scattering across the floor. Gripping his head in both hands, he let out a groan of frustration. “It looks nothing like the person I married. Do it again. Paint them again, please.”
P.AI.nter’s screen shifted to display his familiar face, and he studied Sebastian carefully. The sea-serpent hybrid was visibly distressed, his normally composed demeanour unravelling more with each passing day. “Sebastian, maybe we should take a break,” P.AI.nter suggested gently.
“DO IT!” Sebastian snapped, his voice tinged with desperation.
P.AI.nter hesitated for a moment, but then he nodded, his screen flickering as he began the task once more.
Over the last few days, P.AI.nter had witnessed Sebastian’s steady decline. The crushing weight of hopelessness had begun to take its toll, especially as progress on his escape plan stalled. The fear of never seeing you again had driven Sebastian to the edge, and now he was clinging to the only thing he could—the memory of you.
Sebastian could describe every detail of your face as if he had spent a lifetime memorizing it. The way your smile lit up when you spoke to him, the warmth in your eyes when he returned home, the tentative yet eager kiss you shared on your first date, and the breathtaking moment when he proposed to you at sunset, in your favorite place.
But no matter how vivid those memories were, the thought of forgetting you, of losing even a fragment of what he remembered, filled him with a terror that he could not shake.
As P.AI.nter worked on a new sketch, Sebastian leaned forward, his hands trembling slightly. His mind raced with thoughts of you, the love of his life, the one he was desperate to return to. He couldn't bear the idea of those memories fading, of your face becoming just another blur in his mind. The very thought made his heart ache in a way that nothing else down here ever could.
“Please, P.AI.nter,” Sebastian murmured, his voice barely above a whisper now, raw and vulnerable. “Just… make sure I don’t forget them.”
P.AI.nter glanced at him again, the sympathy in his digital eyes clear. He understood what was driving Sebastian, the fear and the love intertwined in a way that made it impossible for him to let go. “I’ll do my best, Sebastian. I promise.”
Sebastian nodded, closing his eyes for a moment, trying to hold onto the image of you in his mind as tightly as he could. The thought of seeing you again, of holding you, was the only thing that kept him going. And he would do anything—anything—to make sure that happened. Even if it meant forcing himself to relive every precious memory, over and over, until the day he could finally make new ones with you again.
His mind was elsewhere, trapped in memories of a life he longed to return to. The room was dimly lit, the only light coming from P.AI.nter’s screen as he quietly observed his friend.
“Tell me about the proposal again,” P.AI.nter requested gently, breaking the silence. He knew that Sebastian found solace in recounting these memories, even if they were tinged with the pain of longing.
Sebastian took a deep breath, closing his eyes as the memory flooded back. A faint smile tugged at his lips as he began to speak. “It was a perfect evening. We had been together for a while, and I knew… I just knew that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with them.”
P.AI.nter’s screen displayed a soft, encouraging expression as he listened and started to draw another sketch in the background, the digital companion understanding the importance of these memories for Sebastian.
“I chose their favorite spot—a secluded beach just outside the city we lived in. We used to go there all the time, just because they liked how the sun meets the water. The sun would set over the water, casting this incredible golden light everywhere. They loved it there.. We’d sit and watch the waves, talk about everything and nothing… It was our place,” Sebastian’s voice was soft, full of warmth as he spoke.
He paused for a moment, as if savoring the memory. “I remember that day so clearly. I was so nervous, even though I knew they’d say yes. I had the ring in my pocket, and I kept checking to make sure it was still there. My heart was pounding the entire time.”
P.AI.nter hummed in acknowledgment, his screen flickering slightly as he recorded every word, every detail. He knew how much this meant to Sebastian.
“We walked along the shore, just like we always did. I was waiting for the perfect moment, and then… then the sun began to set. The sky turned this beautiful shade of orange and pink, and the water looked like it was on fire. Their form got dived in a beautiful warm light, making their eyes shine so bright that it made me feel like I'm melting. That’s when I knew it was time.”
Sebastian’s smile widened, his eyes still closed as he relived the moment. “I stopped walking and turned to face them. They looked at me, their face in a cute little confusion t first, but then they saw the look on my face. I could see the realization in their beautiful eyes. I took their hands, and I told them how much they meant to me, how I couldn’t imagine a life without them, with words that couldn't even express a shard of the things I feel for them. And then… I got down on one knee.”
P.AI.nter’s screen now displayed a rough sketch of a beach, a couple standing in the golden light of the sunset. The image was simple, yet it captured the essence of the moment Sebastian was describing.
“I asked them to marry me, right there, with the waves crashing in the background and the sun setting behind us. Their eyes… They were filled with tears, but they were smiling, a genuine sweet one. And when they said yes, it was like the whole world just… clicked into place.”
Sebastian opened his eyes, and for a moment, it was as if he was back on that beach, holding your hands, hearing you say those words. His heart ached with longing, but the memory also brought him comfort.
“They hugged me so tightly, I could feel their heart beating against mine. We stayed there for a long time, just holding each other, watching the sun disappear below the horizon. It was the happiest moment of my life.”
P.AI.nter displayed the image of the sunset proposal on his screen, a small token to keep the memory alive in the dark depths of the Blackside. “It sounds beautiful, Sebastian.”
“It was,” Sebastian agreed, his voice softening. “It really was.”
P.AI.nter could see the emotion in Sebastian’s eyes, the way they glistened with unshed tears. “You’ll see them again, Sebastian. You’ll make it out of here, and you’ll have more moments like that.”
Sebastian nodded, though he wasn’t sure if he was trying to convince himself or if he truly believed it. “I have to,” he whispered, more to himself than to P.AI.nter. “I have to see them again.”
P.AI.nter offered a comforting hum, the image of the sunset still glowing softly on his screen. “And when you do, you’ll have so many stories to tell them. They’ll be proud of how strong you’ve been.”
Sebastian didn’t respond immediately. Instead, he allowed himself to get lost in the memory for a little longer.
#sebastian solace#sebastian solace x reader#sebastian solace x you#sebastian solace fanfic#roblox pressure#pressure
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Yan Zombie + Restoration Hobbyist Reader Blurb
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"Blink once if you can hear me."
It calls to them from the darkness - a voice melancholic yet strangely robotic in its application. It's familiar - like something they've heard in a dream. They can't move. Their arms feel as though they're pinned beneath boulders. Their legs feel weightless. The place in their mouth were their tongue sat felt dry and... exposed. Left with no other choice, their eyelids flicker upwards. The flesh over their right eye feels to be constructed of foreign tissue - metal scrapping over the weight in the socket where their eye once was. The image of the figure standing over them is fleeting, lips pulled thin in an expression of approval.
"Blink twice."
Their eyes flutter open for a second time - remaining there as two finger pry apart the lids of their still functioning eye.
"Good. It's fortunate that you are still able to hear. At the moment, my fixes are merely cosmetic so I'm afraid you won't be able to see out of that eye of yours for some time. If you are like other patients I've had the issue will work out on its own."
Their eye rolls idly in their head - struggling to make out any features of the person through the blazing lights overhead.
"You must have questions. Forgive me- I wasn't expecting you to wake up before I had time to work on your jaw. Please use this to communicate if you wish, you can ask me anything."
Function to their left hand returns - their wrist raw and lacking the binding weight shacking it in place. Restraints? Smooth plastic rolls beneath their fingertip as they flex the stiff joints of their digits. Their fingers trace out the rectangular shape of the keyboard's space bar. Gliding gracelessly over the keys, a hand helps stabilize their moments as they begin to type. A computer monitor awakens from its sleep as words pop up on its screen.
"Where am I?"
A common question. "You are in my workplace. I repair things from time to time to keep myself busy. I found you in a creek nearby during a stroll the other night. Thankfully, you hadn't been in there long or I would've had to replace more than the skin of your eye."
Their hand draws up to their eye, feeling the odd texture over their eye. It's felt.
"I hate to bring up any bad memories from the past, but I need to ask in order to provide you with the care you require. Do you remember anything from the day you died?"
Died?... That's... honestly not the most surprising thing about this ordeal. A stabbing pain blisters at the back of their mind as they try to remember. A boat. A shotgun. Laughter. Tears. Please, no. It's not funny just put it down. Please. please-
"Boating trip. They said if I tagged along I could finally be apart of their group. I thought I could trust them. They said they were my friends. They said"
Their body lurches forward - fighting against the bite of their bonds. It hurts. It hurts so much. Why are they still here? Garbble wails ricochet off the bedroom walls. In their time of misery, another memory rushes to the forefront of their mind. Their body convulsing on an operating table. The gentle hushes of another as they pet back their hair - drying blackened tears from the corners of their eyes. A compassionate hand from the world that had abandoned them when they needed someone most.
"Hold me."
"What?"
"I remember.. Arms around me. A voice calling out to me. Promising me everything would be okay. That was you - right? Hold me. I don't want to be alone. Please, don't let me be alone anymore."
The hobbyist removes the glove from their dominant hand, wiping the leathery flesh were thick, congealing tears pool. You pull your newest patient closer - mindful of their stitches as you rub small circles along their spine.
"You can stay here as long as you like. While I'm not the most social person, I can't turn away someone who needs my assistance."
Their sobs are reduced to small whimpers as they cling into you - dying your apron in various fluids as their arm locks around your midsection in a vice grip. You grab onto their other wrist, preventing them from wrestling it out of their chains leaving you with more work in the future if their skin were to tear.
"I know this is a lot for you, but please try not to damage yourself further."
Their arm drops from your waist - fingers flying over the keyboard on a flurry.
"What's your name?"
"My name?... You can just call me Y/n."
#yandere#yandere x reader#yandere x you#yandere insert#yandere blurb#yandere headcanons#yandere imagines#yandere oc#yandere scenarios#yandere drabble#yandere zombie#tw yandere
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THESE LITTLE DEATHS OF MINE ꒰ okkotsu yuuta x reader ꒱
minors do not interact—i will block you. cw: angst. reader’s stream-of-consciousness and emotions regarding yuuta’s line of work. ambiguous ending (hope is alive). brief sexual descriptions. reader is gn and implied to be shorter than yuuta. wc: 1031. notes: fingers crossed that this makes sense :’-) it’s a little all over the place.
A piece of you dies each time he recklessly throws himself in harm’s way.
Caring for others to the detriment of his own wellbeing is as natural to Yuuta as breathing. He won’t ever admit it (not in words, at least) but you know his heart better than your own. You have held it bloody and beating in your clammy palms, felt the muscle contract and expand, contract and expand; you have seen the truth buried within its chambers, vessels, and valves.
Yuuta believes his suffering is deserved—a cyclical debt he must repay for unwittingly chaining his childhood love to this realm.
Each little death is painful. Gasps of air clatter in your throat, unable to reach your screaming lungs. Violence rends your spirit and severs your very being, its splintered fragments crumbling to dust. You’re a vessel of who you once were, your boyfriend’s life your only concern, his medical updates the gospel.
It’s a basic trick of the mind—a twisted form of self-preservation—convincing yourself that your own injuries aren’t serious. Tattered nerves and a frayed psyche simply need stitching; what is ripped can always be mended.
Though every time you think you’ve grown accustomed to seeing him bear another senseless scar, you’re proven wrong.
═════════════════
Two hands can’t count all the conversations you’ve had like this, his body rigid and prone, your tears threatening to carve crimson rivulets down his wan face. There’s a cruel voice that whispers in your ear: from a distance, he looks like a corpse. A new wound weeps profusely on his abdomen, a weary smile tugging at his split lips.
“I’m going to be okay,” he soothes before you can say anything.
It’s unconvincing. Maybe it would be easier to trust him if you hadn’t been in this exact position over a dozen times before. Yuuta soaks up your expression, honing in on the furrow between your brows. If he had a little more strength, he’d smooth over the wrinkle with his thumb—there, all better.
“I’ll be good as new in a couple days.” He tries to keep his tone breezy, but you hear a coarse rattle when he exhales. “Then we can laugh about this, yeah?”
Sniffling, you rub your puffy eyes with the heel of your palm. Your mouth curves into a pout, your lips the delicate petals of a flower curling shut. “Don’t make promises that you can’t keep.”
“I could never break a promise to you.”
You find the pulse point on Yuuta’s wrist, taking comfort in the dull lub-dub, lub-dub, lub-dub.
═════════════════
He decides to tell you now.
You’re crammed together in the shower, wet skin slipping and sliding, soap suds swirling across the tile and down the drain. The water is hot, steam fogging up the vanity mirror. (You both like to write your initials in the condensation, drawing a heart around them like lovesick teens—a silly way to reclaim some of your lost youth.) Yuuta diligently washes your body, nimble digits working at the knots in your shoulders before lathering your back.
“Tomorrow morning, I have to leave for an assignment. I’ll be gone before you get up for work.” His voice is muted—a ghost of whisper—and you suck in a breath. His touch trails down your spine, lingering over each vertebra before he reaches your hips and grips the fat, thumbs stroking your softness. “I’m not sure how long I’ll be gone…”
It takes you a few beats to process the news; you release the breath you’ve been holding. You squeeze your eyes shut, tracing over the crack in your words before you speak. “I wish you wouldn’t.”
“I have to, my love.”
“I know you do.”
Deafening silence stretches between you like a void, filling the distance between your bodies.
“Say something,” Yuuta entreats.
He bows his head to smear a kiss against the nape of your neck. While the water is scalding, his lips are cold, and you tremble. Crystalline droplets blur your vision as you turn to your boyfriend, seeking solace in his embrace. A lithe arm wraps around your waist while the other cradles your head.
“You don’t get to leave my side at all tonight. Not once,” you mumble into his chest.
“I wouldn’t dream of it. I can’t risk disappointing you, can I?”
His irises are too deep, too blue—mournful as the twilight sky.
═════════════════
It always plays out the same, the evening before he leaves. You’ve made a ritual of it, a sacred, holy rite. There’s an unspoken understanding between the two of you that this could be it—which is why you must devour each other wholly.
Loving and being loved by Yuuta is usually honey-slow and tender. But when everything is at stake, you can’t get enough of one another. It’s reminiscent of your first time together: sloppy kisses that wet your chin, blooming marks that litter your bodies, stuttered confessions in the rare moment that you part for air. You finish around his fingers and tongue until you’re dizzy and pliant. And by the time he enters you, a flame engulfs his movements, everything brutal and incandescent with passion. It’s his declaration of love. Of possession. Of yearning.
“Don’t leave me,” you cry, clawing at his shoulders—your lifeline.
“I’ll be back,” he promises. “I’ll come back to you. Always.”
Eventually, you collapse in a heap of damp sheets and sticky flesh, your limbs inextricably tangled, your lover still buried inside you. Moonbeams slip through the edges of your curtains while you drift off as one.
═════════════════
The trill of the alarm startles you awake. The room is empty—save for your lone figure, nude and sore. You roll to Yuuta’s side of the bed and nestle beneath the covers; the herbal scent of shampoo clings to his pillow. If you close your eyes, you can pretend he’s beside you, gazing at your profile with disarming adoration.
I’ll be back.
You revisit that moment, play it frame-by-frame, memorize his insistent stare and the decisive set of his jaw. A stray tear pearls at the outer corner of your eye and rolls down your temple, wetting his pillowcase.
I’ll be back.
Hopelessly, you wish that Yuuta didn’t have a habit of making promises he can’t keep.
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23 Asks :)))
Google says that means Hunger in Spanish soooo
Eat up my child
I feel like it would be really hard to mistake Foxy for a dog. "Foxy the pirate Fox" posters are everywhere. Foxy is bright red and has a obviously fox like tail. His name is Foxy.
But there's always bound to be that one parent who doesn't get it, "Sweetie go play with the big dog :}}" But no one would throw a bone at him because they think he's a dog. That wouldn't happen-
Once I'm free from this big project I would like to draw some digital circus. But who knows, my interest in it could die out before the project is done-
@professional-idiocy
Uhg. Always super frustrating. Thanks for letting me know. 👍
Google says that's an economy/nation question. I don't talk bout that stuff here sooo... sorry-
My main headcannon for Sunny is that he is also Moony. He is 1 animatronic with no split personalities. Sunny and Moony are the same animatronic with 1 personality, wearing 2 different costumes.
I don't think taking inspiration would be much of an issue. Just stay away from straight up taking my idea word for word and doing the exact same thing as me. And don't take my idea word for word, add a bit to it and then call it yours.
And as for the offline stuff. Going against artists wishes is still wrong even if I cant see it.
If people seriously cannot interact with me without going against my wishes. Please block me. Stay as far away from my content as possible. That would be more respectful to me and yourself.
@mysteriousl0ser
YEEEAAAAHH!! All good characters. I like Caine for his unique design, plus he's really funny. Same with Kinger, I like his design and he's really funny to me XD Perfectly cut screams are my weakness.
@beryl-shade
Yes! And in the true swap its Bonnie! :}}
@shawnmlinsitly08
Thank you so much! I hope you like the rest of the artwork I have to offer! :}}}
@abaroo
I haven't planned for Seam to get his eye back, no.. <:/
Also-
WAAAA THANK YOU SO MUCH!! 😭😭😭
I remember reading about that style of line art and how it was "bad". "Chicken scratching" I think its called. And how people said that its not a proper way to draw and makes the art look bad. But it DOESN'T!!
Controlling lines and getting the perfect shapes is so much easier with chicken scratching. And if you know how to control it and clean it up, its not as messing looking as people think!
I've used chicken scratching for line art becuase its much easier and not as messy as people think. I'm so glad you noticed my line art and I'm honored that you would incorporate it into your artwork! I hopes it helps you as much as it helped me! :}}}
@pinkbomb08
I'm sure Seam and the others would devour anything you gave them. Even if they didn't like the taste. Beggars cant be choosers!
Also thank you so much! I'll do my best! :))
Maybe.? I could see them applying ointment to rags and carefully slipping them under and at first it feels nice.. But then having to take the rags out to apply more ointment could cause more pain and irratation..
There's also this property to the chains where they can get tighter at times.. maybe they'd have rags under the chains occasionally. But due to the tightening and irritation maybe they can only do it for a short time. As to not cause Seam any more discomfort..
@chickenmilk120
I've been hanging in there! :')
Thank you, and I'll do my best! :}
Oh yeah, there would definitely be this "cool down time" after every mirror where Jevil is wiped out and needs time to get his strength back. The natures of these mirrors is still a bit unknown, even to Jevil. So the first time he collapsed out of exhaustion must have been pretty scary for Seam.. who knows what was wrong with him..
As for the darkener thing, my AU functions off of my bizarre headcannon.
In my AUs, Darkeners, lighteners, and Undertale Monsters and humans.. are 4 separate beings with different properties.
A Deltarune Human is different from an Undertale Human. And a Undertale Monster is not a darkener, or a lightener. They are their own category. Not saying I believe any of this is canon to the games, its likely not. This is just the structure my AU is built on.
And I had this idea that Deltarune and Undertale stuff.. doesn't really mix. Or at least it rarely does. The idea is that the magic that makes up these 4 beings are all different. They don't mix usually, they just clash together.
Asgore cant heal Spamton becuase his magic is sooo different from the magic in Deltarune. Spamton's body just rejects this magic because of how foreign/different it is. A darkener could maybe heal him. And perhaps a Lightener could heal him.? But no one originating from Undertale can give their magic to him. They are just completely different.
Its the same when it comes to food. Some food is universal. Its so simple that nearly any kind of magic can break it down. But a lot of the times the darkeners bodies just, cant absorb Undertale foods. They're so different..
As for advantages or disadvantages.. maybe? There could be a case where a powerful Undertale monster tries to hurt Jevil. But his magic is just, structured sooo differently its basically ineffective. It could also work the other way. Maybe Seam is trying to step up and protect himself. And he only has to use a tiny amount to blow the Undertale opponent away. Its because his magic is so different it pierced right through his foe. Maybe stuff like that.? :0
That is an interesting question.. I'd say it kind'a depends on the AU.?
And like, none of my AUs are actually completed. None of them. Things are always changing or I'm always adding more too it and the story never ends. But still I develop them at different speeds depending on the AU..
For example. My Welcome home AU. The structure for that AU and basic plot was thought up in like 3 days. Same thing with my Digital Circus AU actually,
But my FNAF AU? It took WEEKS to sift through all the games and pick everything apart and carefully construct my own timeline and think of a story for every single animatronic and have it all line up and-
Then there's my Deltarune AU. The basic idea of a traveling Jevil was thought up and constructed in like a day. But the rest of the au is weeks in the making. And its constantly changing and I'm always adding stuff and rearranging things GRAHHH!
It really depends <XD
And some ideas do go unwanted/unused overtime. But mostly I overwrite my own ideas with new ones. I think of a cool idea and I push everything in the AU aside to make it work. Even if the structure of my AU suffers a bit. <XD
Yeah! Its good to see those guys out and about. And hey Green Truck's ok! He just has a strange way of starting up. It means that he's harder to steal now XDD
@beryl-shade
Yes! Her voice box doesn't work if its not attached to her Jaw. Same with the all the other diner animatronics :0
I pictured Seam being MUCH younger. I thought of King and Queen being like Asgore and Toriel. Being these powerful boss monsters that live for 100s of years.
So while King and Queen are 100s of years old. Seam is like.. in his 50s or something <XD
@crimson-thinker
WAAA THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! THAT MEANS THE WORLD TO ME!!😭😭💗💞😭🍤💕
Thank you! Also after googling it, I kind'a see the resemblance XD
ALSKAKD GREG BEAR XDD That's perfect!!
Also thank you so much! Same to you! :D
@lathan-chillyfilm
I've never played Dr. Mario & Dr. Luigi so any elements from that game were not added to my AU.. :(
But Mario and Luigi bringing foreign bacteria and illnesses could be an issue.. or it might not! :0 After all I don't know if human viruses can be dangerous to fungal people <XD
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Idk if this means anything to you but I'm a comic artist who's had a hard time doing art for a few years. The first four was because of life hardship and lack of time/chronic pain, but now lately I've had time but a mental block. I'm creeping up on 30 and felt bad about myself for "missing out" on my opportunity to be a comic artist. It was really validating to see you post about being 41 (correct me if I'm wrong) especially since you have such wonderful comics that I've been following for a while now. It makes me feel less like I'm wasting my time putting my things in order when I "should" be drawing.
Hopefully this doesn't come across as offensive or anything. It was just comforting and validating. Anyway, big fan! Love your characters a whole lot and hope you have a good day!
Dear Anon
I am 41 years old. I have wanted to make comics my entire life. before my dad got sick, and my childhood kinda fell apart, all i did was draw. after that, i used the stories in my head to cope. life moved on. i was convinced not to accept a partial scholarship to an art school in California. life got hard. i worked at a hotel, and after i escaped an abusive relationship at 22 i hitchhiked/bused far far away to start over. i tried to make comics again, but i had to survive, and so i got another job doing the only thing i knew how to do, hotels. and i worked. and worked. and life got harder and times got heavier and i didn't get time to draw and i worked double hours, 15 to 17 hours a day. and i went four years without drawing a single thing.
i kept working myself into the ground. i was 29 now. i picked up a pen again and drew a red haired boy. he had a hard life and no love and no friends. his problems were on the outside, for everyone to see. he ran away but his problems went with him.
i was 32. surely i was too old now. my time to be an artist was gone. i had no school. no hope. i was so far behind the younger gen i saw online. i cried. all the time. i wrote stories in my email drafts while i worked shifts. i stayed up late trying to learn how to draw again. i cried some more. the boy grew. i called him Fiach. worthy. a raven. later i renamed him Avery. he was like a bird, he had wings, he was my hope. i started writing some friends for him. the people i wished i had around me.
i started finding time and space. i got a new job, something where i was lucky enough to set my own hours. for the first time i had a partner who believed in me. things were hard. but i was drawing now. and that helped.
i went on a road trip and i started drawing pages of an unnamed story on 6 by 8 paper in a sketchbook. i drew 20 of them. 'what could i call this?' i thought. Nothing Seems as Dark...no says my partner. Seemingly Dark. he made me a logo. i was 35. i bought an ipad, i cant do this on paper, its too much story i have too much to say. so i learned how to draw digitally by tracing my own trad art pages.
I spoke to my dad for the last time on June 17th, fathers day that year. he said 'you're good. i'm proud. and you're gonna do amazing things. none of this is your fault. and we will speak again soon.' i didn't know id never hear his voice again. he died a week later.
i turned 36. i kept trying. i'm old, i don't understand the internet. how can i share this?
i stumbled across Lore Olympus. i was introduced to webcomics. id read comics online before but the thought never occurred to me. i opened an account on Tapas. and then i stared at it. what if no one likes it. what if its bad. my art isn't good. i should wait til i'm better. but will i ever really be better? or will i always believe that tomorrow is better? do it now. if even one person gets something out of this story, this story about a boy who is you, a boy who looking for hope, a boy who might make it, then that is enough isn't it.
June 17th 2018 i launched Seemingly Dark.
SD's five year anniversary is in a week. 0ver 700 pages. leaps and bounds in progress with my skills. a printed comic under my belt as of monday. i was always a storyteller. but i was always an artist too.
I am 41 years old, dear anon. I did not truly embark on this journey til i was 35. life got in the way. even now, chronic illness gets in the way. but its worth it. its never ever too late. i believe in you the way my dad believed in me. i reset my life again and again. but I was always an artist. and if thats who you are, and who you want to be, even if things dont go the way you wished they could, you're an artist too.
im 41 years old. i speak about my age, even though i often feel too old to belong in spaces, cuz really, in this case age is just a number. take care of yourself. do what you need to do. and little by little, when your able, carve out your space until it becomes more of a habit. sometimes i think about all the years i lost not drawing or creating. but there's a lot of factors that make me believe had i made my story then, it wouldn't be the story it is now, i needed to live a bit. i needed to find myself. i know this was long, but i just wanted you to see i also had to put my life in order, and getting notes like this reminds me it wasnt at all a waste. im glad i could offer you some comfort. thats honestly the best compliment i could ever receive.
TL;dR I was 35 when i sat down and seriously started making comics, because life always got in the way and so did my confidence. i always feared being too old. im 41 now, still going strong.
#rj rambles#this is really long im sorry anon#i think my late comic blooming story is kinda important for people to hear#thankyou for giving me a reason to tell it
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FORGOTTEN LAND'S SECOND ANNIVERSARY :3
I AM SOOOO BACK
I started this drawing yesterday around afternoon and finished it just a few minutes earlier.
I went with a messier type of drawing instead of more clean like the elfilin one from yesterday, i find it fun doing it like this, mostly cause i dont have to worry about making it perfectly so i dont get as frustrated as normal. Id place this one as my second best digital drawing. im pretty sure i havent posted what i consider my best digital drawing here, tho i do have it in instagram, i might post it here one day, tho these two are way too tied up, i love how this came out, its not exactly like how i imagined it but its really close to it, and also itd say that since i dont tend to play around lighting that much, this was such a joy to draw and i cant help but stare at it a lot, at least until i start hating it because i made quite a lot of errors. i also changed my elfilis gijinka just a tad bit from last time, but its not that big of a difference, mostly.
ofc i had to draw elfilis for forgotten land's anniversary, i tend to deny it in my head but yeah they're my fave of the kirby characters even tho i hate them a bit. I wanted to draw some more doodles, like, elfilis eating cake, kirby car, a bunch of other stuff (not elfilin cuz i already drew him yesterday) but when i tried i couldnt draw anything more, guess this drawing burned me out a lot, huh?
you can definitly tell i spent all the efforts on him cuz if you look a bit closer to the bottom part you'll see its almost barely detailed, but i mean, they're the focus so make sense i guess for me not add that much detail there. um also, maybe because i dunno i had OVER 130 LAYERS jeez no wonder firealpaca was slowing down so much, i need to manage my layers better next time, tho i did do something i keep forgetting, wich is naming them (most of them at least) that was a real life saver
Also, antares (fecto elfilis' spear/cadaceus), as always, was a pain to draw, but this time its probably been draw the most accurate out of every other drawing ive made with it in it, i didnt notice it was like, a little curved when it reached the blade
some close ups since his face is a bit hard to see
silly :3
fun fact! actually, this is technically a redraw, somewhere around between february and march i started a fecto elfilis drawing for the first anniversary, but i couldnt finish it in time, and i never finished it
thats...quite the improvement! (i remember being so proud of it)
also his wings are like that cuz i did not want to draw the pattern, its way too hard, i literally copy pasted it, wait, i was talking about the 2024 version but i looked at the 2023 one and i just noticed it also has the pattern copy pasted, i guess some stuff never changes since i still abuse the ctrl+c ctrl+v to this day
Also i ended up making a huge error there, i was planing to add the phantom spears from orbital pulsar (the attack he does first when you battle them at lab discovera) but theres an innacuracy, when they do the attack, they always close their eyes, i had actually sketched him (well i mean both these drawings are basically the first sketch (2023) or second sketch(2024) with some color, shadows and lighting. i didnt do lineart in the 2024 one cuz i wanted to be a bit like the og i made (too bad i sketched that one with black since the og was sketched with white due to me drawing the bg first)) with his eyes closed but them decided to make them open for a reason i cant remember, maybe i thought itd look nicer? idk
ive had the idea of redrawing this for quite some month now so it was kinda already planned
background cuz i think it came out really pretty
doesnt have the little stars since without elfilis and the structures it looks fucked up. the actual sky in game is more blue, but the clouds have some orange, in the 2023 ver. i made the sky orange, and in the 2024 ver i wanted it more accurate, but i didnt wanna loose the orange sky, so i did a gradient. pretty...
also here's a screenshot i took when i was like halfway trough it, its barely noticeable but i changed his mouth in the final drawing
I really love katfl, like a buncha whole lot, its basically almost my first mainline kirby game. 100% the demo, finished the game in almost one day, i literally play it monthly, like, every month i put the card in my switch, start it up, get morpho sword, and go shred elfilis in lab discovera. i would probably not even be here on tumblr and the kirby fandom if it werent for it. and i love it so much i genuinly cannot express how much i like it and treasure it with words or anything
Thank you for reading my unnecesarily long rambles lol
I hope i'll post tomorrow and dont forget like usual
Jambuhbye!
#art#fanart#kirby#kirby fanart#kirby gijinka#silly#digital art#firealpaca#fecto elfilis#fecto elfilis gijinka#my wife fecto elfilis and his new drip#yep changed them again#fecto elfilis lives in my head rent free 24/7#fecto elfilis fanart#kirby and the forgotten land#katfl#katfl spoilers#katfl second anniversary#kirby and the forgotten land second anniversary#katfl fanart#kirby and the forgotten land fanart#please reach a lot of people i spent way too much effort on this drawing#kirby series#kirby elfilis#kirby of the stars#:3333#:3#digital artist#artists on tumblr#small artist
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Addicting Taste Chapter 11
Pairing: Enishi Yukishiro x fem reader oc
Genre: strangers to lovers, mutual pining, found love, fluff, spice, a lot of teasing, angst
Word count: 32.3k+
TW: blood, stabbing, violence, brief mentions of torture and kidnapping
A/N: Hello... So, first thing's first, Addicting Taste kinda went on a hiatus (against my wishes) since I was in a pretty bad slump writing-wise, emotionally, mentally. But, gear up for hopefully back to back chapters this month. Managed to draw out some pain for these ones.
I realise Chapter 10 was a bit of a wholesome, extremely loooong read, but I hope you liked it. I don't know if people even read it since it's been radio silent on that front, but I hope some of you still are. For now, please welcome insane mayhem, a mess of feelings, hopefully great plot and a few new characters. Enjoy the revelations.
For Nina. Hope you're happy wherever you are.
Playlist: Up In Flames - Ruelle, Atlantis - Sleep Token, Radioactive - Imagine Dragons, The Grey - Bad Omens, Viva La Vida - Sofia Karlberg (Acoustic Version), Alibi - Sevdaliza, Pablio Vittar, Yseult, Start A Riot - Duckwrth, Shaboozey, Lovesong - Adele, Carnival of Rust - Poets of the Fall, The Love You Want - Sleep Token
Previous
"You."
The sly snake looked down at you with sheer delight like the very sire of satan he was. That victorious smirk sitting idly on his face was enough to make your hands shoot out to grab onto his neck and twist it backwards. That would've been possible if your wrists didn't get yanked back by the harsh pull of the metal shackles restraining you to the stone walls behind.
He bent down to you, tilting his head with sheer amusement etched on his lips at your struggle. There was a blackness in his eyes that consumed his orbs like a toxin, brimming in dark pools of oil, much like the one burning in the lamp one of his men was holding in the corner.
"Pleasure to see you again, kiddo."
"The pleasure will be mine once I stomp my foot all over your face," you spit back, continuing to pull on those chains to get as close to him as they could let you without splitting your hands away from the base of your palms.
"Ah, ah, ah," he stopped you, moving his finger from left to right right in your face, like he was ordering an animal, a pet, to stand down and know its place.
You were no damn pet but more of a wild animal at the moment. And you bit fucking hard if provoked. And by gods, he provoked every cell in your body with just that wiggling finger.
Before he had a chance to reel back on his feet, your head jerked forwards and you caught his finger with your teeth, gripping onto his pointer with wolfish strength. Terror flashed in his eyes for a brief moment, so fast and fearsome you might have just missed it. Rugged arms were on your shoulders in an instant, rough fingers digging into your skin to pull you back to your place against the wall. While more of his men tried to restrain you, pushing you to your knees, the reptile pulled on his precious little digit to shake your hold off like you were a stinging bug but your sharp teeth hung on damn tight, dragging the skin over the bone with each agitated flail of his hands. Your teeth dug into it more and more, determined to rip it off his hand or at least detach it from his hand a little, but with the resistance behind pulling on your shoulders and your throat, you kept to it until you felt a crack between your canines, tasting iron on your tongue.
Blood, you smirked.
Satisfied, you relaxed your mouth and let go reeling back, letting him reef his bloodied, damaged finger back to his chest in pain.
He's going to have a hard time doing anything with it for a while. Good for him. Would've bit his whole hand off if I had a bigger mouth.
Spitting the leftover blood in your mouth before it started tasting like poison, your gaze turned back to his, dark eyes now watching you in alert. He didn't expect you to attack so soon or even at all. You could see it on his face. Whatever he had planned facing you, it all fell down the minute you bared your teeth literally.
A guard handed him a cloth to wrap around his injured finger, while another stomped your way. He unwrapped your chains from the wall behind dragging you along with them. You fought against it but it was useless. His hands reached up to lock the chains to the rusty hooks on the ceiling, securing you in the middle of the dark cell. Your hands were pulled above your head making you rise to your feet, unable to move too much in any side.
Standing to your full height, your bruised hands fell bound together in front of you, keeping you still like a lamb about to be butchered. The good thing was that it let you make an estimate of your wounds. Sharp pain pulsed through the numbness in your legs and in every other part of your body that was still recovering from almost being crushed to pieces by the wooden carriage. Most of your right side suffered deeper injuries since you were thrown against the walls more times than you could count. A lot of bones felt broken - a few lower ribs, a collar bone, twisted elbow and opposite ankle among the main major ones - but you were sure there were more you couldn't see or feel. Crumpled up on the floor you didn't feel the pain so bad, but standing on shaky legs, swaying lightly, drawing sharp breaths through your parched throat, you felt it all.
All you wanted to do was lay down and cry it all out. But you couldn't collapse to the ground in front of this life-sucking serpent before you found out what he wanted or where you were. Any sliver of information was more valuable than anything right now.
"Why am I here?"
"For my entertainment and curiosity," spoke the Snake, tightening the cloth around his wound until he was satisfied it was tight enough.
"What is this? The fucking circus gathering?" you laughed dryly, chains jangling as you wiped the leftover blood from his finger still on your cracked lips with the back of your palm. "Thought you had better taste."
"Smart mouth she has. Quite like her mother," he harked a broken laugh that bounced off the echo in the cell. "You'll be quiet and docile in no time."
Docile? Am I getting married off or something?
"For what?"
"For my plans."
From where you were standing, his plans looked to be nowhere in particular. Or you were still dazed from that solid hit to the back of your head before these people kidnapped you. Either way, his words made no sense. What could he possibly want with you? Why was he working with the Triads for that matter? More and more questions pooled in, rendering you profoundly confused.
"I'm not sure I'm following."
"A little birdie told me you were quite the rouse in Edo not that long ago."
Your breath caught in your throat, heartbeat suddenly too loud in your ears.
That's what this is about.
Barairo me, not me.
"The Crimson Rose of Yokohama they called you," he said, crossing his arms over his chest, drawing closer to you. "A teenage girl laying death to men more dangerous and lethal than the demons of hell walking the earth, the very best mercenaries in Japan."
"That bird of yours must be mistaken," you chuckled, trying to play the fool a little longer. But that dry chuckle fell unsure from your lips. a weak distraction in face of his conviction that he had the right person. He was confident it was you and had confirmation of it.
"I don't think so." He paced around you, circling you like you were the serpent's precious prey. "You see," he stopped right behind you, shadow leaning over your shoulder, his heinous whisper falling right in your ear. "You're here to fight for me, sweetheart."
You snorted. A fits of chuckles bordering on strangled laughter escaped your throat in a meager attempt to seem saner than you looked. He was crazy, maybe even borderline delusional, if he thought for one second you would do that for him of all people.
Rounded back to your front, he steered clear within a couple cautionary steps away from you, as if he anticipated another surprise attack of yours. His eyes raked your arms, legs, even your mouth, looking for a sign that there was any on the way at all.
He fears me. Good. I can use that to my advantage.
"In your dreams."
You punctuated your words with a good tug on the chains making sure to rattle them loud enough. Whatever those fucked up illusions of his were, they were not lined up in your program today, tomorrow or ever in the near future. You might have been up on the hire for anyone a few months ago, willing to do dirty work for whoever paid more. But the only people you fought for now were your own.
"Well," he turned for the door of the cell, nodding to his men on the other side of the iron bars. The door creaked open with a shriek, metal scraping the floor of the corridor lit with torches. Before he stepped out fully, his head craned back to you. "I hope you're ready. My dreams have a habit of coming to fruition lately."
"Do they include working with the Triads?"
"Ah, so you know," he nodded to himself, not once denying your accusation. "Saves me a lot of explaining to do. I am indeed."
"Why?"
That was kind of a loaded question. One he answered with a response that didn't really give you anything to work with - a goddamn shit-eating grin that went right to the pit of disgust already drawing in your stomach since the very first light flickered over his face. With that limiting conversation and a grin that gave you nothing, he left, taking the guards with him.
You didn't move until their steps faded away and all that was left in the air was silence and the light crackle of the torches. Blowing a breath you didn't know you were holding, you sank to the floor like a sack of potatoes. Everything hurt and pulsed uncontrollably along the rhythm of your rapidly beating heart. Some of your injuries ached more, alerting you they needed some attention now. Looking around the dark confinement, you noticed the small glow of light falling on a good portion of your cell. The only impediment was that is fell near the door
Pulling your feet from under you, you drew as close to the amber twinkle as your chains could let you before they tugged your wrists back painfully.
In that thin fragment of light, the long velvet skirt that was a beautiful ruby red at the start of the night was now a wet brown shade with patches of mud and grass sticking to it. Shoving it off your leg, you found a line of cuts and bruises all around each side you rotated your leg in, some of them deeper and dark red still bleeding, others just light grazes almost closed up. Your ankle looked like it felt - destroyed. Almost shattered, still usable if you ignored the angry purple swelling around it. Checking your other leg, you found the same grazes from your knee downwards but it didn't look as bad as your other leg. You gave it a test roll receiving less pain in response.
Your attention moved to your chest, feeling it too compressed with every breath you took. The corset manage to hold your middle together, protecting important organs. From what you could see there were no tears in it so nothing got inside or where it shouldn't be. And to think I doubted the extra double cover. But with every inhale of air, the boning pressed too hard against those few ribs that were broken. There was no way you could undo the laces, at least a little, since your hands couldn't reach behind.
Arms-wise, there were a few more cuts peeking through the ripped sleeves and some bruises. Your right elbow spasmed numbly, twisted inwards. You had to put it back and soon. This was not the best place to do it, nor did you have enough space to move it since both of your hands were chained, but it was worth a shot.
Getting up on your knees was harder this time around, all adrenaline to start a fight gone. Levelling your arms together, parallel to each other, you moved so your elbow was as straight as you could get it in that angle. Your left palm caught onto your right wrist to hold it in place.
I just need to pop it in. Nice and easy. It shouldn't hurt that bad.
You took a deep breath to steel yourself, then all at once drove your body forwards as if you pushed your hands into dough to mold it into shape. Though you weren't pushing into soft dough but repositioning your own arm in its right location. Pushing your shoulder and wrist towards each other, you moved your elbow back into place. Teeth grinding, you swallowed your scream and sniffled the tears away as the spasms were replaced by shooting pain, continuing to push forwards relentlessly until it clicked back in.
"Fuck," you hissed, sinking back on the floor, hands drawn above you by the chains. Head falling on your suspended arms, you sighed.
What now?
Wait?
Try to escape?
Fight them when they come back?
None of those options were viable routes to take in your condition. Your thoughts barely aligned in order with the pain coursing through you and your body took way too much damage tonight to stand up to anyone without ripping fresh scars. For now, as much as you hated it, just waiting was the best call.
For a while, you just let it hurt. You felt the torture throb through your body ruthlessly, slow and cruel, turning into soreness, discomfort that you couldn't move more. The laborious breaths leaving you went from aching gasps to much more controllable exhales. The minute some of the pain receded to mere stabbing sensations and your head cleared a little, you turned to planning.
From what you could gather, the way to the outside world had to be on the left, since that reptile and his guards took off that way. Then what was on your right? Your eyes shot up to find that the burning torch upfront was the only light source you could see alight. The rest of them on the right were not burning, drenching that area in complete darkness. You just prayed whatever awaited you down there was better than this - being locked up in a cage like a wild animal waiting to be domesticated or sold off for your services.
Your eyes widened with another thundering thought that caught your breath.
The boys.
Were they okay? You hoped they woke up and weren't laying still on the cold, wet and muddy ground of the forest. They must have woken up by now. They took worse damage in battle than that tumbling carriage could inflict on them. They weren't pussies to lie in pain until it passed on, though the scope of their injuries did worry you. One was barely breathing while the other looked on the verge of death when you reached him.
That self-righteous mop of hair worried you the most. To think he called you an idiot before it all went sideways. You chuckled dryly with a shake of your head reminded of the insults thrown around before the impact. Even when you were close to embracing death several times, he was talking your ear off about your shitty life choices like a worrisome mother would her rebel child. Absolutely convinced was he that you only made mistakes back there at the club. You came to learn that was just his nature - worrying about others before himself.
Thoughts bounced back and forth in the cold air carried down by the wind currents. The wind howled down here just as loud as outside, scaring the shit out of you when it started sounding like a real wild beast was down there, patrolling around to make sure no one left their deathtrap. Some torches ceased burning, drawing to a smoky kindle until no more light shone inside your cell at all. Only darkness and cold surrounded you, both crawling down your spine with rippling chills. The ripped velvet sleeves and the wet dress did little to keep you warm. But little was better than nothing. Shivers still shook you well, still with the searing pain inside the cold felt bearable for now.
At least this is confirmation they only took me, you sighed, burying your head into the small crevice of your tied hands, ready to give in to exhaustion.
Before you let the night take you in her arms, one last thought came through that just about managed to warm you up from deep within with a faint spark of hope.
I hope the boys are okay.
The rainstorm howled, blowing leaves and twigs everywhere it touched down upon. It was relentless, billowing above the tall tree line, shaking the wilderness down to the depths of the woods, ripping apart over him as if he was part of the forest. Like he was some kind of new addition to the open clearing full of wet, wilted greenery. One that wasn't as dead as the nature around him, waiting for the freeze of winter, but he was near becoming one with it.
He wasn't quite dead. Though it looked that way. His ashen locks were matted to his face, slapped dark with mud, dirt and scorched splinters of wood tangled in every strand, way darker than the paleness of his face and the bleeding parts of his body where his clothes were torn to shreds.
If that was how death looked, crimson like a flower of the purest bloom, soft skinned like a blanket of snow, yet so silver dressed resembling the finest royal jewels - then this death was painfully beautiful. Stealing your breath away and welcoming you with warm arms at the same time. A death that was, but wasn't.
Because he wasn't knocking on her doors just yet.
One moment he was still, as if turned to stone. The next, he drew in a gasping breath like it was his very first. His chest was hurting, moving, taking all of his breaths in and pumping the blood around his body as it normally should, but hurting like a motherfucker. He was alive, in piercing pain and trapped in his mind for extra safety, but on all other fronts, he was alive and breathing.
Somewhere between diving in and out of unconsciousness and awareness of endless pain, something moved above him. He couldn't open his eyes, eyelids weighing more than he could lift at the moment. He couldn't hear anything besides that ringing drowning the world out. But he could sense his surroundings. He could always count on sensing the energy around him when his senses failed to work with him.
It, or a person from the light motion, moved around frantically for a while then landed on top of him. He felt that, together with the blinding pain at the hard press of their body against his. If he could move, he would've pushed them away. But he felt desperation in that weak grip around him, so deep and tormented, hanging onto him for dear life, that it made him feel frustrated he couldn't gauge the situation at all.
One moment, the person pressed tightly into him as if in fear. He felt frail shaking wrapping around his arms then his shoulders, doing their best to reach him. Continual and beyond desperate, the shaking stopped on his face, around his cheeks, and he finally felt something beside the pain running through him - warmth. A warmth that was so familiar to him he tried moving something, anything to reach and comfort it. Then suddenly, the weight on his chest was replaced by a hollow emptiness. The person was gone. He couldn't feel them anymore. That's when his hearing started working again, converting the irritating ringing in his ears into muffled movement, rustling and grunting nearby. Really close by.
Something was happening. He had to open his damned eyes and look. Slowly, infuriatingly at that, all his other paralyzed senses started coming to but not his sight. He could feel the sloshy mud under his fingertips, smell it and the rain, taste the blood on his tongue. His sight took its sweet time even as his gut kept telling him to move it and take a fucking look at what was happening, but by the time he did it all turned quiet. The only thing he could hear was the beat of his heart and the rainfall hitting the ground beside him.
His lashes fluttered open, eyes meeting the blackened sky, raining down hard on his face. Trying to move was pointless when his whole body protested against it, tendrils of sharp pain bursting out in waves upon a single jerk of a finger. Moving was necessary, not a need but a must. Even so, his body just refused his orders firing one after the other. It wouldn't work like that - pushing himself in all sides expecting it to work with him. So he took it slow, slower than babies would.
He blinked away the heavy raindrops falling in his eyes, trying to clear the remaining haze of darkness away. Before he managed to gain back his sight properly, that darkness edged back in his vision, trying to pull him under with the irritating pounding in his temple. He couldn't let it take him again when an urgent need to get the fuck up and regain his bearings shook him to the bone.
He sat and sat, waiting for the pain to ebb away a little, enduring the cold rainfall drenching the rest of his clothes. Until the last shred of his patience finally burned to a crisp. Survival was his only friend for the longest but this was not the time to sit nicely with it. It was time to move. With a long grunt, he dragged his arms towards his chest and tried to push his upper body to sit at least on his elbows. Once that was manageable, he moved his head too, raising it in sync with the bend of his abdomen, hunching forwards with a shaky gasp. That was a mistake that only stirred the pounding in his head to unbearable throbbing.
"Fuck's sake," he hissed, managing to throw a hand to his head.
It hurt everywhere, but that spot near his temple hurt the most. His fingers pried and prodded, touching the soft, mellow skin there until he came to the conclusion that was a nasty gash that's been bleeding for a good while. Judging by the stinging around it, he's been laying there for even longer and rainwater bacteria was making itself rather comfortable.
Blinking away the woozy feeling keeping his body hostage to an imbalance he wasn't accustomed to, he focused his eyes in front of him. Embers burned all around - remnants of what was left of the wooden carriage. Some of them still sputtered, swallowing the remains of dry vegetation around them that wasn't completely soaked, others died down to a smoky kindle. Whipping his head to the right a little too fast that he saw his past, present and future in one dizzying flash, he caught sight of a body laying a few feet away. Zeroing in on it, he tried to figure out who it was but by gods if he could even see straight or make out the outline of the bush next to him at all.
Time to take a stroll and find out, he thought, willing his body to move towards that suspicious hunk of meat laying still in the mud.
In one brisk move, he moved to his knees. Way better than laying down in the mud and getting buried under it. But that's where he got stuck. Standing up properly was out of the question. He had to do it like he's never done it before. One foot before the other. One knee straightened fully then the other. He moved with the grace of a newborn calf, shaky and unstable on his feet, but at last he was standing. He took one step ahead of his head catching up with the rapid motion and nearly toppled over, putting way too much trust that it would be that easy to move. After all, he took several tumbles in a wooden box that nearly capsized with him inside it before his body collided with something hard and finally stopped the endless rolling, ending up in this situation in the first place.
Balancing his weight for a good minute, he tested a few more steps to get the blood flowing around before he took off in the direction of the body. The closer he got, the more it resembled a man. Dusty blonde hair peaked out from under heaps of wet maple leaves and mud and he recognized him instantly - blondie.
He fell to his knees, leaning over him. The upper right side of his suit was torn apart completely, burns climbing up his arms over his shoulder in small craters. He was scraped good, a few deep cuts on his face and light grazes over the side of his neck, but he was still breathing. Unknowingly, Enishi released a sigh of relief. At one point, somewhere in the tug of war between them, he started feeling for the guy because of you and your endless nagging for them to get along and grow a pair -
Wait.
You.
Where were you?
His feet acted on autopilot, lifting him up off the ground to take him along the open radius of the clearing, from the scattered pieces of wood still burning on the main road that got separated from the main frame of the carriage, going as far as the last fragments of the benches inside laying in the deeper opening of the forest. He called your name over and over, voice hoarse like it wasn't his own, whirling around every which side like a madman.
He scoured every corner. Lifted every side door or bench residue still standing propped on the ground, thinking you'd be stuck or hurt under it. Checked every bush and raise of greenery in case you were hiding. The rain just poured harder, making the blood on his head run down his face, extinguishing the fires still burning, except the one that sputtered to life in his chest the more he searched for you just to find nothing.
Not one sight of you, as if you disappeared without a trace.
Nothing at all.
In one breath, he was back at blondie's side, shaking his shoulders ready to yell bloody murder. The blond grunted in pain but Enishi couldn't care less about that. If he didn't open those fucking deer-in-distress eyes in the next few seconds, he would be as good as dead. The blonde continued grunting with no sign of waking up. Before he could stop himself, an angry palm planted on the other's cheek, the force of it forcing his head to the side and pulling a rough cough from him, finally awake and conscious.
"What the fuck," he groaned, his own world spinning to above and beyond.
"Miyu's gone. Wake the fuck up," growled Enishi.
That deep growl startled him enough to open his eyes wide. He took in his surroundings, then the angry, profusely bleeding gray haired man holding him by his collar at a close raging angle. Then his words registered and his mouth fell open.
"What do you mean Miyu's gone?"
"Hate to break it to you, but we were kinda hit from the back by a fucking fireball. I'm here. You're here. She's not. Now where the fuck is she?"
Cho groaned in response. "How the fuck am I supposed to know? I've been unconscious until you hit me." At that he paused and narrowed in on Enishi, brows furrowed in anger. "Why the fuck did you hit me?"
"Just felt like it."
Cho turned sideways and spit the blood out of his mouth before pushing the rough hands around his neck away. Enishi's grip never loosened, only tightened until his knuckles cracked.
"Get your hands off me."
"Or what?"
Before he saw it coming, a fist collided with the side of his head, the bleeding one. His sight got blurrier than it was as he fell backwards. He tried his hardest to shake it off, struggling back to his feet. When his eyes landed on the blond, barely standing himself but standing nonetheless, his jaw ticked and he saw red.
Two steps was all it took and he was pushing him against a tree bark with all his might. Lightning flashed above, drenching him in white, making him look like a bloodied ghost set on vengeance that's been overdue for a long time. Way too long.
Enishi's right fist connected with Cho's cheek before he could counter the attack. With that first blow multiple followed, all punches relentless and more powerful than the previous. Each punch held his rage for the past few days heading straight for the blond. One dug into his chin for hurting you all those years ago with empty lies. Another two cut his cheek open for letting him stay under his roof and feeding him when he didn't deserve it the treatment, giving him way too many chances to redeem himself. An uppercut for playing around with you like you were a toy to break his patience.
Pinning him into the bark of the tree with each strike, Enishi was set upon drilling his body into that hollow bark until he became one with it.
Cho let him send blow after blow until he got his world to stop spinning enough to respond. As soon as the side of his face started going numb and the blood in his mouth felt fresh, his hand lifted to catch Enishi's fist in his, longer fingers digging over his, all while launching his other hand to catch his arm, switching places to throw him into the tree bark instead. He dug his knee into Enishi's chest hard, then without hesitation kicked him down into a puddle of sludge he landed into face first.
The time to play nice ended the minute he smacked the blond awake. He wanted a fight? He was going to get one to remember.
This was what they were both waiting for. The anger they had towards each other just kept rising these past few days. Their instincts only knew violence and destruction for the longest time and they tempered those down enough. Each craved to see the other in pain for a multitude of reasons, most of them surrounding their dispute over you, others simply for futile fun of the moment.
It was time to put their powers to the test.
No mercy. No outside interruptions. Just them and their fists.
Enishi got up from the mud pummeling into Cho with a rough tackle, sending him into the ground hard enough to knock the air out of him. Taking advantage of how dazed he was, he climbed on top, bruised hands finding his grazed neck, pressing down with all his strength to cut his air supply. He didn't want to kill him. That hate harbored in his chest was heavy and punishing when he needed it to be but this wasn't the case for it to unlock. He just wanted to make the bastard feel the pain until he gave up on his own. A small part of him wanted to see him beg for it.
Cho struggled under his hold, hands thrashing around to find something he could use against the brute strangling him. He searched and searched ignoring the murderous gaze set on him. As soon as his palm connected with the length of a tree branch he lifted it up and flung it hard into Enishi's shoulder sending him flying off of him. He didn't give himself a chance to catch his breath before he pressed him into the ground with his foot and got a hold of his arm to twist it backwards at an inhumane angle without stopping until Enishi howled in pain. Even after he yelled in agony, he continued twisting with a wicked smirk on his face, finally satisfied to see him in pain.
The sword thief wasn't one to engage in extreme violence unless he was provoked. Enishi did a lot of that lately, especially when it came to playing around with you, acting like a saint afterwards. You were too peaceful to hurt him. Way too kind to him even in that hateful gaze after the stupid games he played. So he took it upon himself to teach him a lesson. Just because the lesson proved rewarding to Cho's ego, it did not mean he really wanted the guy to suffer for long. Just a little more would do him immense satisfaction.
Cho's victory was short lived. He might have been one of the Ten Swords but he lacked one thing Enishi held close - combat intellect. Something so inconsequential to a normal sword connoisseur but so trivial to a double blade wielder.
Enishi's right arm sneaked out from under him, grabbing a good hold of Cho's thigh as his leg kicked the back of his knee to hurl him back to the ground, letting go of his twisted arm in the process. The blond barely hit the ground before getting back up again, ready to send another kick Enishi's way. He intercepted it and sent one from the ground, angling his body sideways and kicking his leg high enough to hit the side of Cho's neck. He followed up with an elbow in his chest and an uppercut meant to cut off that annoying smirk on his face. He stumbled, colliding with another tree and almost lost his footing falling beside it.
Enishi gave him a second too long. A second that had Cho slide over the mud and kick his legs from under him. He fell backwards, flipping back up on his legs to grab onto Cho's neck once more. Though this time, Cho's hands flew to Enishi's neck too.
The sound of horses galloping went over their heads, both males busy with killing the other or doing more significant damage than the fireball or the carriage crash could. They both squeezed each other, pressing their dirty, bloodied fingers against whatever spots they caught, reluctant to let go and find a better one. They kept going at it until the shot of a gun echoed loud through their still ringing ears, stopping their brawl.
Moving on alert, their heads swiveled in sync behind them to see Wu and a few of the other gang members just looking at them and the disaster around with wide eyes. The older man approached, looking both of them dead in the eyes. In all the years he's worked with him, Enishi has never seen the man more angry than he did now.
"Pardon my language, but what the hell are you two doing right now?" He paused to look around, previous anger turning into worry with each injury he discovered. "And where's madame?"
At the mention of you they sobered up. Both of them let go very adamantly of each other and stepped away, putting some much needed space between them. They were both covered in mud from head to toe, with the occasional bleeding wounds sparkling through, clothes completely ripped apart now, worse than the rolling through the bushes left them.
Cho wiped away the blood on his lips. Enishi touched his wound again, tampering the blood flowing from his head with what was left of the sleeve of his suit. They gave each other one more look of seething rage deciding that this wasn't over. But it was a battle to fight another time.
"I don't know where she is. She was with us before we got hit," replied Enishi, looking down at the ground. Then he pushed a question of his own towards the old man. "How are you here?"
He didn't leave anything but the location with him and specifically told him not to follow in case the Triads showed up. Which they did. But he couldn't risk losing all his resources in one night. Though he did lose an important one. One he insisted stayed back but acted against his orders again.
"Madame came to find me before you left. She told me to come looking for you with back up in case you didn't get back by midnight."
She felt something was wrong, he realized, his chest filling up with dread. You were antsy and jumpy all day but he pushed it past to all the stress you've been under with the mission itself and what the result of it could mean for you. That and the bothersome confession he pushed in your arms without thinking a few nights ago.
"We need to find her," said Cho, holding his shoulder in pain. Now that the adrenaline was all gone, eliminated completely in their mini rage match, they felt the aftereffects of the crash tenfold, beyond the power of their punches.
"Master Enishi, the roads are all empty," said Wu. "It's been a good few hours since you left for the city. We won't find anything out here until morning."
The old man was right. With the pouring rain and the mud running liquid on the ground, all tracks were most likely covered by dirt puddles. They had no shot at finding anything now. Safest bet was going back and coming again tomorrow when the mud was dried up and it wasn't so damn cold. The wound on his temple agreed with him, thundering just once, hard enough that it sent his vision swimming and he stumbled over his steps. Cho's hands shot out to steady him before he took a splash in another puddle, this time of his own doing.
If he was able to stand on his own two legs, he would rip those twigs off his body and beat him with them for having the audacity to act all friendly after he tried to kill him. He did push a sarcastic remark only for his pained groans to cut through.
"Worried about me, blondie?"
"I'm worried about Miyu, not about you, Mr. Prince of the Frogs. How hard did you hit your head?"
Using the hand that wasn't holding upright the grunting mess deadset on ending his life mere moments ago, he got a hold of the side of his head to inspect his wound. Enishi just winced in response to his useless prodding, jerking it back from his hold. That sent his sight spinning like a swiveling chair would.
"We need to get back," urged the blonde, throwing Enishi's arm over his good shoulder. "We're no good to her like this, especially you."
That was the hard truth he had to swallow down his dry throat and make peace with for now. They had to get back. He couldn't do shit with injuries, much less find you. Even if the anger gripping him in cold waves at the thought of having to leave without you was suffocating. Not knowing if you were okay, not knowing what the fuck happened that you were nowhere to be found.
"Fine," he rasped out. "But we're back here the minute it lights up."
"Couldn't agree more," said Cho, helping him walk to the carriage.
Before they boarded Wu's transport, he cast a look back at the darkened clearing hoping to find something else. A clue or a hint that you were still there, lying somewhere he couldn't see or reach, hidden down some rabbit hole he couldn't spot.
Enishi wasn't one to believe in hope, praying to god for things, wishing on a shooting star or that sort of optimistic activities until you. He prayed that he didn't have to leave yet. He hoped that he would find you if he scoured the area better now, not in the morning when tracks might still be scattered under rainwater seas. As the storm rained down harder and the fog settled over the last burning embers of the carriage, he found nothing to hold onto. Nothing in the rubbles or the dense trees or even the other side of the road covered by trees upon trees.
Nothing at all.
No you.
You couldn't tell how long you've been out of it. There was no indicator of measuring the time down in this endless cave. Not one flicker of light shone through any crack in the stone wall. Not even a lost, thin ray of sun down the rock corridor. The only source of time passing were the lit torches to your left, burning up, flaring to wild flames, going out one by one until darkness was all that remained.
The strong, cold air current wafting through the iron bars, howling on the surrounding echo like a lone wolf, never got warmer. Not even a degree above the ice hanging in the air. The underground was supposed to be warmer than the world above the strips of grass and dirt, not colder than sheathed metal blades.
Pangs of hot pain surged endlessly through your body, alternating in your middle or the swollen ankle, waking you up at times only to switch position. As much as one could move chained to the ceiling before falling back into weary slumber.
Wake up. Shift. Sleep. A routine for a sleep that was neither restful or peaceful, escaping and calming like actual sleep should be. It was just enough rest to replenish your lost energy and pass the time in some other way that didn't involve staring at the iron bars ahead, watching how humidity condensed from the ceiling and dripped down the rusty poles until they gathered in puddles, drifting along the cracks in the ground with annoying plinks. You even started counting those at one point, unable to ignore the smell of dampness coming with the humid condensation.
Then you wondered, if a flood was to suddenly occur, what would it become of you? Would that snake come down to unchain and save you since he deemed you so trivial to his plans? He would rather save his own reptilian skin. What would become of you? Chained to the walls of a cavernous cell, swallowed by the water, lost in the drift heading down into the heart of a place that was somewhere but nowhere.
Upon all of that swirl of endless doom thinking to keep you awake and alert to any change around, you fell back into sleep, floating in the emptiness of your tired mind and the different scenarios it cooked up from nothing.
A loud clang shook you from the depths of a dreamless sleep. Keys rattled against the metal rods in front, clinking into each other with a disturbing noise that swam in your ears way too deep to ignore it and continue that excuse of a thing you called sleeping. Blinking your eyes open took a while. Coming to terms with the fact that you've slept with your head against the shackles for a long time took less. Your neck ached, your back coiled from a night's rest like a horse cursed to sleep upright in a barn for his whole life. At least they had hay to curl around.
The keys continued jangling in the lock, smashing into each other as if that infernal noise could make the door open alone. Finally, the metal frame was thrown open with a screech that might as well have been a train's horn. The owner of the keys stepped inside, heading for your spot in the middle of the cell. Your sensitive ears caught up with his footfalls stopping short of an arm's reach, chained arms reach. Cracking an eye open then the other, you were met with the dirty boots of a guard. He reached above you and fiddled with the chains until they were unlocked from the ceiling and thrown to the ground behind you, striking the stone floor with another clang that broke your hearing.
"Up," said the guard gruffly.
What if you didn't obey? Would he do something about it or would he just leave you the fuck alone?
As you debated your very limited stack of choices, you peered behind the guard, noticing two more stationed by, waiting. The three of them all wore commando gear - tight black shirts, vests ticked with small tanto knives inside and out, short range dao swords at the joined hilt on their hips, and dark green pants - staying incognito and on the ready for a fight at all times.
The one in front of you looked easy enough to take on - tall but scrawny in muscle mass, less armed and more sure of his authority in the way he puffed his chest. But the ones behind him looked brawny and skilled, armed to the brim with more muscles than they had weapons on hand. One of them tapped his boot impatiently as if he had better places to be. The other just seemed bored out of his mind, staring gaping holes through you. All odds combined, those two would definitely be harder to take down and they would probably skewer you before you took a step towards freedom anyway. Injured, dazed and unprepared, that was a big no go.
"Today, wench."
Rude prude.
You shot him a look that went ignored as he picked up your chains, wrapping the ends around his fists to pull you up to your feet faster than your legs could catch up. Stumbling over your steps out of the cell, your direction was almost changed for the wall upfront if it wasn't for one of the muscly guards reaching out to catch you before you could face plant in it, relocating you back on your feet a little more gently than the prick in charge could ever aspire to be.
"Easy there," he called to him before he glanced down at you. "She's important to the boss."
Important? Just how important am I to that reptile?
Bossy shoes just dismissed him and took off down the right from your cell with a huff. Guess it's time to find out what's down there.
The rest of the torches lined on the walls were now all lit up, all the way to the bottom of the long tunnel you turned for, leaping wildly with every lost gust of wind blowing through. Your extremely welcoming committee put hurry in his step, descending down a wide row of stairs with a short walkway in between every few steps. There were more cells littered all across your right but they were all empty. You didn't see one soul in any of them.
Sassy pants made sure to pull on the length of your chains a little harder at every last step before your foot landed on the flat surface, silently hoping you would stumble and break your neck faster. He seemed to have a lot of resentment towards you, holding his chin up high and mighty, but that was probably how he acted around all women.
As a precaution, you drew your shackles closer and pulled just as hard whenever he was about to step on the next row of stairs. Looking down ahead, you were about halfway down into the tunnel. It was a long way down and an even longer one back up and your growing nerves didn't like it one bit. The arrogant prick picked up his pace, running two steps at a time and you decided enough is enough. If he wanted a donkey he should've asked his boss for one.
You wrapped your fingers around the chains and pulled on your end, a little harder than you wanted. He nearly took a tumble backwards. To your disappointment, he didn't. Cracking his head from side to side, he blew out an annoyed breath. His temper seemed to run shorter than you gave him credit for and you were glad because that's exactly what you were trying to do - irritate and divide.
Nothing gives me more satisfaction than seeing men about to lose their marbles.
You let out an accidental snort that you instantly regretted. Slowly turning to you, he wrapped the remaining chain length putting safe distance between you around his arms, and he did pull harder, directing you straight into the stone wall this time. You crashed into it face forwards, getting the wind knocked out of you. The torch above your head rattled dangerously, sure that another thud would tip it over on top of your head to set you on fire.
In a delayed show of his authority and power, the guard pressed deep into your back, bladed elbow pushing you against the murky wall of the cave. You could taste the copper staining the tunnel top to bottom in dark orange spots, glowing amber in the light of the torch flame. Turning your head with a remark at the ready, you swallowed the words right back down your throat upon the sight of a sharp knife, drawn out of the nothingness behind you. Inching towards the corner of your eye, it sweetly caressed the side of your face downwards like the lips of a lover would, if those were deadly lips that could kill on a swift cut. The blade sat close enough to cut your cheek open if pressed against the skin, but far enough to keep writhing against the restraint behind you. No amount of struggling or pushing against him lessened his hold on you.
"I don't care how important you are to the boss. Try that shit again and I'll make sure to pull you down there backwards with this rusty chain wrapped around your throat until you beg me to stop," he spoke, marking his threat by snaking the tip of his knife against your cheek in small waves. Stopping at the edge of your lips with a thin prick of the blade, he spoke again, asking for your word of obedience. "Understood?"
You grunted, trying to shake him off and make him shove his words where the sun doesn't shine. He only pressed harder into your back, his hot breath fanning your ear. Tremors of disgust erupted all over your nape. You didn't need to see his face to know he was smirking like the righteous dick he thought he was being. So in true balanced nature you paid the warm welcome right back.
Before he saw it coming, you threw a head butt into his face hard. So hard you felt a crack in the back of your head. He did fall backwards on his ass this time, clutching the bridge of his nose in pain, blood seeping out through his fingers, falling splat on the floor in spots darker than the copper stains.
Think twice before trying to manhandle me, you moron. I hope you stop breathing properly.
The guards behind him snickered at the expense of their fallen colleague, enjoying the show more than you wanted them to. One of them moved to get a hold of your chain, while the other gripped your arm securely, almost as tight as the chains pulling on your wrists.
"Go get that checked out," said one of them chuckling heartily, before leading you down the last few flights of stairs.
The farther down you went, the colder it got. Keeping the icy chills at bay when they rattled the very bones in your body was a lost game. As you came to a long corridor leading to an arch entrance, you heard chatter and laughter. Female chatter and laughter. The closer you got to the archway, the louder and hardly unmistakable it got, cheerful and so full of life, unlike anything you've noticed so far in this place.
Rounding the corner below the arch, the guards walked you through into a well lit cave of some sort, much brighter than the dark corridors you traveled through. Rows of tall stone columns stood both at your left and right, all carved in from top to bottom, resembling the ones holding up the western monuments you used to learn about as a kid.
A much bigger fire blazed in firestone pits dug low behind them, so bright that it felt like the very sun was burning in the room. This cave was bigger than a theatre, stretching from the entrance all the way to the far end where you found the very source of the laughter.
There, a small lifted stone platform hosted a long table filled with food and people, some chatting away with merry in their voice, others just silently enjoying the food. All of them were women. Different nationalities, even different accents from what you could hear echoing back to you.
With the high columns touching the ceiling and the fire burning on the side painting them in a fair golden glow, it felt like you were looking at an army of goddesses having their holy dinner underground before bringing rueful battle above the earth. A painting brought to life and motion that took your breath away.
One of the guards took your hands into his rough hold and brought out a key. He gave you a look in fair warning not to try anything similar to what you did to his comrade since he might not be as lenient as him. A quick glance between his raw gaze and the sword sheathed at his side had you slump in defeat. Not that you could try anything that fast anyway. Trustful that you would behave, but wary it could be a trap, he inserted the key in the rusty lock and took off your shackles.
"Go and meet the others," he instructed. "We'll come collect you when it's time for you to go back to your cell."
Rubbing your aching wrists over the red indents left by the restraints, you turned to the masses and made your way over the long aisle as well as you could walk with a twisted ankle. The closer you got to the platform, some pairs of eyes took notice of your presence and the chatter drew to a mere shushing, until all eyes were trained on you like you walked the walk of shame. You noticed all of them were dressed in combat clothing. You wore a muddy, torn off occasion dress.
Way to make a first impression. I look like a damsel seeking refuge in a highly secured fortress. They might as well shoot me down now before I knock.
You walked a bit more then faltered in your step. All eyes were on yours except a pair that gave you their back. A familiar hunched over back, gobbling up food faster than your ears could cope with the sound. It was the hair that confused you. Dark mauve, almost black tangled wet locks of hair, longer and dirtier than you remembered her to keep it.
It can't be... you shook your head. There's no way it's her.
Sensing the quiet in the room, the girl you were ogling stopped eating, lifting her head to the girls in front of her.
"What? What happened?" she spoke, her voice coming out muffled through the bites still stuck in her mouth waiting to be munched away at. "Why did you all stop talking?"
Even her voice... That low, extremely pissed voice that could drop kick your attitude to outer space. It sounds exactly the same as hers.
Her hair, her voice, the very way she was leaned over the table. People don't share habits like those. Those traits could only belong to her. The possibility that it was her was as big as trying to latch a rope around a boar's neck. But all your senses believed it was her. It couldn't be anyone else.
What the fuck is this?
The girl opposite her, watching your every move since her eyes laid on you, nodded her head your way.
"We have new company," she said, low and sharp in Chinese.
The girl with mauve hair finally turned to you with an expression you couldn't decipher. One that you didn't need to because you knew that face all too well. You staggered backwards with a gasp of shock. At first glance, she quickly looked at you, dismissing your existence to turn back to the table. Then she choked, coughing up food and turned back to you once more. Upon seeing you, fully seeing you, her eyes blinked in surprise then in utter shock, doing several takes before the leftover food in her mouth ended up being spat on the floor.
In one breath, she was up and running towards you at full speed, closing the distance between you faster than you could comprehend what was happening. Her arms engulfed you in a bone-crushing hug, almost taking your lungs away in it. Since she was taller, your arms wound up around her middle. You breathed in her scent, going beyond the dirt and potentially dried blood stench, unable to catch a whiff of that special citrusy perfume she used to lather herself in. Regardless, you dug your head in the crook of her neck, pulling her deeper into your hold.
"What the fuck are you doing here?" she whispered, pulling away slightly to look at you every which way to make sure it was really you.
That was the same thing you did, smacking her cheeks together and looking deep into her golden brown eyes like she wasn't real and just a figment of your imagination. But it was her. It really was her.
Lyla. My Lyla.
Her hands moved from your shoulders to the top of your head, brushing through leftover leaves and twigs you failed to notice were strung in your hair like you were mother nature's plod.
"I could ask you the same thing," you said, still confused as to what was going on.
"Are you going to introduce us to your friend?" asked the girl facing Lyla's empty seat. She wore a smile now, as if she waited for Lyla's approval of your arrival before accepting it herself.
"Yeah, of course," she laughed nervously, ungluing herself away from you. She walked you to the table where you were in everyone's field of vision.
"This is Miyu. She's one of the best assassins in the business I know, and an even better friend," she squeezed you closer looking at you affectionately. That squeeze, as loving and well-intended it was, it made you wince in pain, reminding you of the broken ribs that have gone forgotten in your reunion.
"Oh my god," she gasped. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah," you grunted. "Can you just unlace this death trap of a corset a little?"
Said and done. She was behind you in a heartbeat, undoing Enishi's exemplary work on your corset a little so you could breathe. She unlaced it halfway then dug her fingers through the sides, pulling the fabric carcass wider until you tapped her arm that it was good enough. You bent over and breathed some fresh air in good gulps. As fresh as musty, humid cave air can be.
"How are you here?"
"I teleported myself here, Lyla," you deadpanned, straightening back up. She frowned and you instantly felt bad for the remark.
"I don't know," you sighed. "I was on a mission, some shit with a flying fireball happened and I woke up here."
"They took you too," she said.
The icy glare in her eyes alone, directed right behind at the archway you came through moments ago, shook a chill down your spine.
"What do you mean they took me? Too? What's going on?"
At each confused question, the wariness painting the faces around morphed into something else. Something that made them avoid
"You may want to sit down."
Another girl, much younger than the others, pulled out a chair for you and Lyla helped you over to it. She got an empty plate, filling it up with food for you as she started explaining what was actually going on in as less information and detail as was humanly possible. If abductions and arson ever went hand in hand as small talk topics, but alas.
"We've all been taken away. Kidnapped mid-mission, taken from our homes in the dead of night or literally just being ambushed while travelling around the continent."
The words coming out of her mouth made your blood run cold. Your eyes landed on the girl before you whose light nod confirmed the grim affirmations.
"All of us are really skilled assassins in our fields of expertise," continued Lyla. "Knives, guns, swords. Name your pick and someone at this table can show you the ropes. They picked us for their exclusive underground fight club."
That explains the dried blood spots on the floor from the arch entrance all the way to the far end where the dirt ground met the stone platform. But it sure doesn't explain why they were taken away, against their will, for such an unexplainable reason. The clubs you fought at, though many, were all on a consent basis from what you remembered. After all, that's how you met Lyla.
Rewinding the clock back a good decade to a few days after your parents disappeared, most of your relatives that were still alive in Yokohama refused to take you in. They treated you like you weren't part of the family. Like your parents didn't work their backs for the whole family tree line at times, always lending your aunts money or helping your uncles out with their rude specimens of children whenever they could. Being the sole survivor of the Hikari mansion massacre wasn't seen as a good omen, as if a wretched curse was following you around and would bring about their deaths too if they took you in. The doors shut tighter and faster at the sight of you, sometimes before you even knocked, treated like a stranger by your own kin and blood. And family became the very last thing you could count on.
Walking for days, hopping merchant carts from city to city, you somehow ended up in Central Edo. Begging around for food or some kind of work on the outskirts was the initial plan. But as soon as you arrived, you caught wind of fight clubs in the area being open to anyone, no matter their age or background. A fresh start from zero.
You heard it was easy money to make and even easier to track people through since most of the bigshots in the city frequented it. You attended it that day, undercover in case you'd be kicked out, only to find that most of the fighters in the ring were girls around your age. The audience sitting in on the matches loved to talk of anything and everything - crimes, mafia hits, unfinished business with snobs in high society. Nothing stayed private there. Thinking you'd find some information on your parents and have a roof over your head while going at it, you entered it that same night.
That's where you found her, sharpening her knives in a lone corner of the shared living quarters in the sewers underneath the city. Black Canary they called her. Whenever she was in the ring to fight, you'd hear that scream of hers, high-pitched like a bird of prey on the ready to send your ears into audible wreckage, symbolic of her reigning victory. She was one of the best the club ever had, keeping the public throwing stacks of money in bet tickets until they ran out, leaving the fight club with empty pockets.
Beside that triumphant scream, she didn't speak a word. She never ate, slept or trained with everyone else. All she had was fighting and the sharp blades of her knives.
With time, you learned to catch up on her habits. The way she sharpened her knives in the same pattern, up from the hilts, twice for each blade. How she trained in the tunnels far out instead of joining with the rest in the ring. That she would always come out to the weapons table when it was empty, after everyone else has already eaten, to eat by herself.
At first, you just watched her from a dark corner. After a while of building up the courage, you'd purposefully eat slower than the rest and stay around longer until she showed up, to keep her company. The first times you did it, she would get angry, shoot you a look full of hatred and leave the table with her plate untouched as if you disrespected her space or something. But as you grew older and matured, time passed and you were the only girl left around as the rest went on their ways. Only then did she welcome your presence.
Her name was the first word she ever spoke to you. Not the stage name they called her by after a successful kill that earned betting money to corrupt city officials. Her real name. The one her mother baptized her with on the cold winter's night that she was born. The name she never wanted to give up.
She never even gave her real name to anyone before you, she told you. Little by little, she spent more time with you and she opened up. You came to learn she had one of the nicest voices you've ever heard and that contrary to her silence she talked, a whole lot. But only with you and a few close friends.
Since then, you've trained together, fought together, moved ships together when the time was right. You've been at each other's side like sisters, guarding each other's back no matter what. Maybe you weren't bound by blood, but you were bound by that bond of found sisterhood. She became the only family you had left in the world, a home that you could always run to when the world got too much. The kind you'd risk anything for upon a simple ask. Even your life.
After you've left Japan, you lost contact with her for good reason, trying to protect that very bond you had since you had a moving target on your back. As good as it was to see her now, you wished it was under better and safer circumstances because these ones confused you greatly. Hell, the last few days have been confusing as fuck for you but this was next level fuckery you couldn't wrap your head around even with higher intellect.
"I don't understand why they kidnapped you all like this and forced you in here," you said, looking down at the ground like the stone floor would split open and a valid answer for why they were all gathered here would pop out on a stalagmite spear.
This was the work of the Triads for sure. But why? They were the reason you ran away in the first place. They had ties to your parents too. What could they possibly want with an underground fight club?
"Last I checked, they asked people if they wanted to join before they followed them around and took them by force," you added, subtly relating your personal experience with the Triads that hasn't been as much fun as they advertised.
"I was taken during a surprise raid of theirs in the West zone, almost off the border," spoke a girl to your left, sat at the far end of the table. Her gentle, melodious voice had your eyes snap from the ground to her instantly.
Two long, brunette braids split up to sit on each side of her shoulders. Small silver ringlets decorated random waves of the braids in her hair, from the top to the very last strand, tied tightly with leather laces at the spiky ends.
"My name's Yana. They also call me Qiang, like the spear I wield," she said with a smile.
You could tell she was confident in her wielding, much like the scabs and calluses on her hands as she extended one for you to shake. Your own palm wrapped around hers in a shake that dominated yours. Even her hold was hard like the wood used to make the base of the qiang.
"They surely didn't ask me to join their wretched cause before they set fire to my village, burning it to the ground," she said. Her eyes fell on the fire burning in the pits below, like she was living that nightmare once more.
"I fought back to protect my own, trying to help my family flee before the flames swallowed our home. I thought they were out for treasures or the small fortunes gathered together in our small quarters. But the minute I went out to fight they turned on me. Before I could know my family was safe, they hauled me away and shoved me in here."
"I'm sorry," you uttered underneath your breath, unable to process what they were capable of.
"Ah," she shook her head with a somber smile. "There's no need for that. You'll hear worse stories than mine."
Before you could make sense of her words or even begin to absorb the lengths of her story, someone else took the lead in sharing theirs.
"I'm Marissa," said the girl next to Yana. Her voice was much deeper and manlier than you expected it to sound.
The first person you noticed when you walked in the cave was her. As did she, her eyes instantly connecting with yours across the length of the rock gallery when you entered with the guards. Her blue eyes, colder than the Sea of the Arctic could ever aspire to be, pierced you in intimidation upon that first glance. Her face looked hardened by battle, used to it if you'd assume it, paler and reddish in tone around her cheekbones. Beside the tall bridge of her nose, her cheeks sat high like they were cut from hard rock cobalt.
One look at her told you she was a warrior of the caliber legends talked about, that ate battle for breakfast, won it by lunch and threw a feast fit for a queen at dinner.
Among her foreign features, what struck you the most was her ginger hair, glowing a bright auburn with the moving flicker of the firestone. It was the kind of shade you'd find on a really expensive material like imperial silk, so unique and beautiful that you'd dress her up in the finest of those silks just to see how bright she could glow.
"As you can tell, I'm not from around here," she spoke roughly in broken Chinese. Coughing dryly, she switched to Japanese in which she seemed much more confident, thing that caught you by surprise.
"I'm from Siberia. They caught me at a fortress in the North, digging up some ancient alcohol the monks were raving about," she laughed and you had to laugh with her, the rest of the table following suit. The girls seemed to be familiar with her story, certainly hearing it every now and then. It got you curious too.
"They call me the Axe Woman. I don't even wield an axe. It's more of a halberd."
She chugged down a mug of what smelled like hardcore alcohol. The scent of it wafted your way. Sensing your eyes on it like a hawk, she offered it to you with a small grin. You shook your hands in refusal but she insisted, pushing it into your hands.
"Have a gulp. You look like you need it."
You took it and had a tentative sip before you chugged it all down in one long gulp. The raw spirit went down your throat, burning out the chills wracking you all night, warming you right up. Finishing it up to the very last drop, you eyed to the bottom of the wooden cup looking for some more. That was unlike anything you've ever had before, somewhere between expensive bar liquor and ages old spirit brewed in the heart of the countryside. So strong and flavory, going right to where you needed some quick liquid smoothness.
Wiping your lips of the leftover drops, you held it back to her only for her smile to crack away into a really threatening sneer.
"I didn't mean the whole thing. That was the last of it."
A sacred rule of yours regarding alcohol was to never drink the last alcohol at the table because it could always be the last for a long time coming. A rule you forgot about that now made your hold on the mug tremble.
A loud hiccup escaped your lips out of nervousness for what could follow that threat. You jumped over your rule and drank the last of the alcohol at the table and from the looks of it there would be violent consequences since Marissa didn't seem to play about her liquor. After all, she did get caught and thrown down here as she was looking for some.
Debating your chances against her broader, much taller form had your stomach growl in protest. Then a huge burp came out from the depths of your throat before you could stop it. The eyes around the table rounded wide, all directed at you like you've committed the utmost final sin. You cursed yourself for being so selfish.
They're going to skin me alive for a mug of alcohol.
If they write that on my stone I'll become the laughingstock of pooping pigeons.
Maybe that plea could be my last words.
If I get the right to any last words.
Just when you thought the world was about to end for good, the whole table erupted in hysterics at your expense. They were just playing with you. Your face must have given away your stupid thoughts because even Marissa threw her head back howling, hand hitting the table in utter amusement that you weren't following along the trick.
"Don't worry. I had enough for today," she smirked in teasing, her shoulders rolling with a few more giggles. "Your face was priceless."
Your shoulders fell with a sigh. "Very funny. I nearly said a prayer with the last drops of it stuck in my throat."
"I love alcohol, but not enough to kill a sister. You're one of us now."
That made a smile fall on your lips. You've been here for a shitload of a few minutes and they already took you in as one of their own. The feelings were mutual, nods already falling in agreement with Marissa's words.
Suffering unites people in the worst of times. But how much of it did these girls go through that a simple good word and a laugh with you had them swear your name off their killing lists? From the fading scars on their faces and hands, way too much of it crossed their paths. The ones laying under the surface, deep in their souls, must be hurting worse. You could see it in their eyes - the haunting moments they lived in here.
The table quieted down and everyone went back to enjoying their food. Once the coast was clear of volunteers, it was someone else's turn to tell their story. Nothing could have prepared you for this one.
"I'm Mai," spoke the girl next to you. She was the one that pulled your chair over with a small smile.
A tiny thing she was, not a year above sixteen years of age. A young girl. You were a teenage girl too when you started fighting, much more younger, but at least you fought willingly and on your own terms.
"I've been here the longest," she said, cutting through your train of thoughts. She looked down at her plate with a small twitch of her lips that could barely be a smile.
Your heart thrummed in your chest at her words.
The longest? A child has been here for the longest?
"How?" was the only thing you could mutter, unable to get over the shock of what she was telling you, like it was a fable, far from reality.
"My parents used to work for the Triads. They were two of the best assassins they had. After they had me, they wanted to pull out and live a normal life but the bosses just wouldn't let them go. They ran away to protect me but the troops caught up to us," she said, her soft brown eyes filling up with unshed tears.
"They took me as revenge. It's been almost ten years since then."
What kind of animals do this shit?
"They kept me here and trained me, had me fight sometimes, welcome the newcomers. I don't go to the upper world though. It's always been off limits to me. I keep hoping that one day they'll let us all go. I don't even remember how it feels like to see the sunlight," she said, mumbling the last part as she sniffled away an angry, stray tear before it could fall away from her face.
She's been held down in this cold cave, with barely enough food to eat or a real bed to sleep in, as a killing machine for them?
For ten years?
Those weren't people. Those were mad devils walking the earth with no scruples and a slithering tail in place of a spine. These demons captured a young girl and locked her up in a fighting cave, making her call it a home when she should be in an actual home, in the comfort and the warmth of her parents' loving embrace, exploring the beauties of the world.
Your parents were snatched away, leaving you to fend for yourself in the unknown dangerous world. But they didn't take you like this, without allowing you time with them. But to steal a child that's barely been in the world for so little, taking away her right to live a life... This... this was madness. A madness that fueled your rage for the Triads even more.
"Can I hug you?" you asked, before even registering the words spilling out. "I just... you remind me so much of me."
At first she hesitated. You could see it on her face - a wonder for the comfort that she barely got to feel. Arms stretching out with a smile, you hoped she could look past the roadkill look you sported and get in there.
She passed you a slow nod and you rushed to engulf her in a delicate, gentle hug, hoping you could let her feel some of the warmth she's missed all these years she's been locked in this hollow lifeless pit. She probably hasn't had one of these in a while since she melted into your hold within an instant, burying her head in the crook of your neck. You squeezed her as hard as your wounds would let you, ignoring the stabbing pain under your ribs. The pain you were feeling didn't even compare to what she must have gone through. So you held her close, carding a hand through her soft locks, feeling her bury closer in your arms.
Maybe the others weren't the soft type. The assassin job usually meant killing off your softness in order to get things done quick and less messy. But no matter how much you or Barairo tried to get rid of this gentle side of you, it never worked. You never let the rage consume you to the point of no return. Perhaps it was the luck of being raised for more than half of your life by loving parents, a thing not many can say. Maybe keeping this kindness was what paid respects to their memory. Whatever the reason, you hung tight onto it, never letting go. You'd be dead and gone before you let that happen.
Your heart ached for her. This shred of kindness, as small and insignificant as it was, was all you've been missing growing up on the streets of Edo. Alone, scared, with no future in sight. A young girl left to fend for herself with no place to call her home, nowhere to turn to.
Pulling back from each other, you brushed her ebony hair back softly, the very way your mother used to.
"You're brave, Mai. So brave. Braver than I ever was back then," you said, cupping the side of her face. "Hold that close to your heart."
Her cheek leaned into your hand like a tigress letting herself be tamed. You could feel the anger she kept inside, but from the looks of it she was better at controlling it than you did.
The rest of the girls at the table introduced themselves and told you about their abductions. Every one of these girls braved through the odds to survive and live as best as they could, every story more tragic and painful to listen to. At one point you noticed something that raked chills down your spine. All the reasons for which they were taken blurred into a disgusting pattern that shook you to your core - they were all taken for their skills in battle. For being good, undetectable assassins in their local areas. For their expertise. For their unparalleled strength. None of them were housewives or farmers. All of them were powerful warriors.
Why they took only girls was a mystery beyond you. These girls were all well known in their fields and could hold their own against an army if they wanted to. And you found out that's exactly what most of the women at this table did if they had chance - they put up a battle in front of this unforeseen danger. Some fought legions to protect their own and keep the danger at bay for as long as they could. Others were taken as they carried out the only job they knew, trying to survive the days the only way they could, even if that meant taking a filthy life off the face of the earth in exchange for one more day or one more week to win the roof over their heads and the small meals they could barely afford to stay alive.
They were brought here to fight for their lives at the will of that smug serpent lounging in the luxurious comfort of the upper world without a worry in the universe, as if nothing and no one could take the world from under his feet.
What they called the upper world was the very world promised to them. The world they came into as little girls, to grow and blossom into amazing women and fearsome warriors, to become forces of nature that wished to protect and aid, not at all divide and conquer. The very world they now looked to from beneath the layer of the earth above this cavern, as if they were already dead corpses waiting to be absorbed a level lower than the one hosting their pain and anger at the moment.
They had a lot of it - rage. The pure kind that could tear through anything and wreak havoc on the world. You could feel it flow from them as they shared their individual stories of becoming and their changed endings before they even got to live the lives they had planned. And they had a lot waiting for them. Daughters, sisters, wives, engaged to be married to their chosen ones. So much that was taken away. So much they might never get back.
But not even channeling all that anger nor their skills, could help them get out of this hell. Twenty souls, beside you, all trapped in this dungeon until the lord of the house spoke of their use or freedom. A freedom which, from their small lettings, often came at the price of death in battle.
"You said they make you fight."
Your voice cut through the sea of silence hanging over the table, carrying out like a wake up call of what they were about to go through again and again, in a never ending cycle, as if they did not know anything of it before you mentioned it. You could tell from the way they avoided your eyes that they tried to forget about that part, fighting against the reminder of their fate at least now as they shared a meal together.
"Who do they pick against who? What are the rules? Do you get anything when you win a fight?"
Your questions shot out one after another before your brain could catch up to them. Yana simply smiled at you. A smile so full of regret and yet filled with endless compassion, that you were starting to grow fond of. She must have smiled a lot more before she was thrown in this shithole.
"They pick one of us at random," she said, picking your questions up in order. "Against outsiders mostly. Mercenaries, other assassins, big shots in the other mafias. People they have a bone to steal from, targets they want killed or taken care of. They've never had us fight amongst ourselves and for that we're a little grateful."
"Rules are simple. You fight, kill or get killed."
Her smile fell at the last one and you felt your heart twitch painfully in your chest. She didn't have to go into that one to know that some of them did refuse to fight or died in the fight. That thought alone made your insides twist and churn, not in hunger but in horror with another realization.
There were more of them locked down here and some of them didn't survive it.
Yana must have read the miserable sensation coursing through you right on your face. She gave you no time to dwell on it before continuing with more answers, though you dreaded having asked those questions now. But she needed you to know what waited for you.
"Winning a fight doesn't do much. We did agree to ask for similar things, like a full meal or a week of no fights so we could rest and heal."
The table filled with food in front of you was someone's well-earned meal, shared well with every hungry stomach. The very food you were eating was fought for with blood, sweat and wounds that were probably not healed yet.
Unable to help it, you scoured the table trying to spot the one who gave herself to battle to earn this feast. All of them were decked in bruises and cuts, some more recent, others scabbed over. You searched each girl for new, fresh wounds from left to right. Then your eyes laid on Lyla who was slurping noodle bowls by the second beside you, who turned awfully quiet all of a sudden.
Then it hit you - Lyla eats like that only after a fight. You knew her appetite was as big as a sailor fleet after her fists were locked in someone's face. Raking your eyes over her, you didn't notice it before but her eyebrow was indeed split open, as was her lower lip. Fresh cuts were littered between purple bruises on her arms too, one darker than the other as they peeked from under her torn sleeves. Her hair fell from the messy ponytail, some pieces drenched in the stench of dried blood.
Feeling eyes on her, she stopped slurping her soup, turning to you with a noodle hanging from her mouth.
"What?" she mumbled, slurping the noodle in with a pop.
"It was you this time wasn't it?" you asked, looking down at your plate in guilt.
"I did what I had to do," she shrugged. Her eyes landed on your plate that sat untouched this whole time, letting out a long sigh at your stubbornness.
"Miyu, please eat. You're hurt and this is the best we'll be getting for a while. There's no need for guilt-sulking and all that humble bullcrap. Eat. Please."
Her pleas fell on deaf ears. Your hand moved on autopilot. Grabbing a cloth, you raised it to her split eyebrow dabbing the blood away. She slumped in her seat and let you take care of it, knowing you'll just pester her about it until she did it, which would probably be never. She had a bad habit of letting her injuries dry up and heal by themselves, deeming it natural and less burdensome than patching herself up properly.
"Miyu," she groaned like a child, a few seconds away from shoving food in your mouth herself.
"Okay, fine," you smacked the cloth down on the table. "I'll eat."
Looking down at your plate, you saw it was ticked up with roasted chicken thighs and mashed potatoes. Dying of starvation didn't seem so bad considering it was food from the enemy. But the meatballs Enishi shoved in you before the mission were long digested. Your stomach grumbled dangerously at the sight of the chicken, the roasted smell, the way it looked so appetizing, and you couldn't deny it any longer.
Launching yourself into it, you ate that chicken like you've never had it before, chewing it on all sides like a famished wolf that finally found edible prey to eat. The meat was so tender and well cooked, you couldn't help a moan at the taste. A few girls snickered at the way you were eating, slurping the meat off the bone by the second like it was jelly.
"Slow down there, rosy," giggled Lyla.
Once you were finished with the chicken, your fork headed for the potatoes. Yana pushed a bowl of stew your way too.
Too busy inhaling the food, you failed to hear the echoing click of heels rapidly making their way along the corridor. Everyone stopped eating in a similar manner to when you entered, diverting their eyes away from the food and to the figure standing behind you. You stopped eating too, feeling someone standing there, glaring daggers into your nape.
"You're in my seat," spoke another female voice, much more pitchy and annoying than any you've ever heard.
Turning around slightly, you were faced with the very bitch from the Shanghai Club you tried so hard to kill all night before you ended up in this place.
What a surprise.
Patting your lips with a tissue, you placed it swiftly on the table and got up from your seat facing her. Her face was still swollen, cuts and bruises decorating her all over from forehead down to her uncovered neckline.
"I thought I killed you," you smirked at her, crossing your arms over your chest.
"And I thought they burned you alive in that carriage along with your boyfriends," she sneered, like the evil vamp she was. "I guess we don't all get what we want."
You chuckled dryly at her, averting your eyes away from her irritating presence. That remark was enough to rail you up. Before she saw it coming, your smirk fell and your fist connected with her face, throwing her to the ground.
The night was still dark when they got back to the mansion.
Enishi made his way right to the office with the help of one of his men while Wu helped Cho out of the carriage. The older man gathered all men on duty in the room, instructing them to bring medical supplies and send for the doctor from the village, then started working on Enishi's head wound.
If there was something Enishi hated with a passion in the whole world, it was people fussing over him. Even when he simply scraped his knee on a grocery run with Tomoe and she rushed him home, he would berate her that he was capable of taking care of himself well enough, not in the need of anyone else's help. In those times, she would angle him down with a look of warning and lecture him that being hurt wasn't a weakness but a strength, a sign reminding him that he was human too. That was the same look the old man gave him, though less lecturing and more annoyed as he kept telling him to sit still. Sitting still was not in his itinerary for the night.
It took a while. At one point, he thought that Wu was moving slow on purpose, testing his patience. Wound cleaned and bandaged, he called over some of his men, delegating tasks of immediate execution and precaution, taking it from the beginning of it all.
He had to be quiet about what happened at the club, giving away only necessary details where needed.
"I want information on everything that moves inside and outside of Shanghai. Imports, exports, hidden shipments. I want to know about all of it," he demanded, tone strict and without a sliver of mercy. "Every little detail about people or stuff that's not where it should be, you have it going through my ears as soon as possible."
They all nodded, taking off out the door one by one as soon as they were handed work and locations. He sent some men back to the club to scope out anything suspicious or of interest, warning them to keep a safe distance and not get found out. If that happened, they were completely on their own and he could do nothing more for them.
Whoever sent the carriage ablaze believed all three of you were taken care of, set on fire to mere ashes tossed in the wind. Letting them believe that some more would get him places much faster.
The rest of his men were gathered in the room, but he failed to see a few.
"Is everyone here?" he asked Wu.
"Yes," he said, sticking a bandage over Enishi's wound. "Except the ones you just sent out and my own."
His fingers stopped prodding at his wound pulling back to look at Enishi's face for any leftover cuts left untreated.
Enishi's eyes bounced around, doing a mental count of how many men he left on duty, the ones that were off tonight and the ones he's already deployed. Some of them were definitely missing from today's force.
"Who did you take with you in town two days ago?"
"Just my crew. The twins, Kano, Liu and Yao."
The twins he just sent out to gather intel from the club, knowing they were the most silent weapons he had. He turned around looking for the rest, finding only Kano and Yao, loudly bickering about something in the corner as always. Those two could never get along and he always sent them out on missions together on purpose, hoping they would sort out their shit.
He kept twisting around Wu, trying to spot everyone only to fail at it. Wu himself turned around and looked for his own.
"Liu's not here," he concluded. Then his eyes widened to the size of rice balls. "I haven't seen him since we went out in the city and relayed info to you and madame a few nights ago."
Liu's been one of the older recruits Enishi picked out at the start of the mafia ensemble. He was good at finding out important information fast and promptly, often the one at the helm of interrogations. Liu made people talk quicker than he expected them to.
Enishi didn't know a lot about the guy himself. Lately, he placed him under Wu's directive since he had more connections and could reach a wider spread of information inland outside of the mansion walls.
Falling in his seat, he tapped his fingers on the wooden arms of the chair in deep thinking, zoning out of the ruckus and mobilization around the office. Someone talked in the wrong ear about his plans. He's suspected it for a while as he investigated the missing shipments, but after tonight, he knew for sure that he had a mole walking freely within his walls. Someone he's fed generously, gave a roof over their head, a warm bed at night and a secure and well-paid job to do. Someone who was ungrateful and selfish enough to throw all that away and sing at someone else's table about things that should've never left these walls.
The timing of Liu's sudden disappearance was too obvious and in plain sight not to fall under the suspicion that he was involved in tonight's shitshow. Not just that, but having been with Wu to gather intel on your parents, adding his presence the night Wu told you that, he knew enough about you to hand you over to the Triads and set up a trap to get you killed without anyone suspecting anything.
"Bastard," he muttered under his breath. "Send your men after him. I have a feeling he has something to do with everything going to shit tonight."
"On it," he nodded, leaving him be.
Leaning on the back rest, he propped his head back and closed his eyes for a second. It felt like this night just wouldn't come to an end. It started so well that he himself was hopeful it would finally get you somewhere, that the false leads ended there at that wretched club. In turn, it all changed for the worst.
Enishi got up to walk around and stretch his legs a little, ending up in front of Cho. The village doctor was taking care of his shoulder, stitching up the open grazes slithering down to his side. He took a peek at it since it was uncovered, noticing that the whole of his right backside was covered in a long burn, bruised on the sides. The blond winced in pain wherever the doctor touched him, unable to keep still.
"You good?"
"Been worse."
Enishi's head turned to look at the window catching dawn on the slow rise. The doctor finally finished his job, helping Cho pull on his shirt to cover his back. He got up, walking beside Enishi,
"You're going back out there, aren't you?"
"Yeah," he nodded. "You should stay back. That thing on your back looks nasty."
"Your head being split open is nastier."
"Are you worried about me again?"
"I'm worried you'll miss out on clues since you can't see straight enough to send a punch properly."
"I don't think you want me to send a punch your way properly," said Enishi with a smirk, grabbing his kimono. "Meet me out front when you're ready to go."
Enishi left, taking a few more men with him, leaving the blonde confused with his mouth agape. He thought he had that quarrel in his hand only to be fooled. Enishi never went full on with his punches. He did made Cho believe he gave it his all though.
They were out riding back to the scene as soon as the sun rose up. They took horses this time, wary of carriages for the time being. The horses got there much faster and the rain stopped too, drawing to a slow drizzle.
Dismounting at the scene of the crash, the smoke still ebbed from the rest of the bigger remains. A low cloud of fog settled with the temperature change, but the endless puddles of rain were almost absorbed into the ground. That was a positive, but the slippery, muddy ground not so much.
"I'll take the right," said Cho, heading for the other side of the clearing.
Enishi nodded, moving to the site of the crash. "I'll take the left."
Splitting up was better than nothing. They searched and searched, flipping over even the doors or the wheels of the carriage that were still in solid state. Enishi found nothing. Not even a ripped piece of fabric from your dress or a loose thread hanging from a branch floating lonely in the wind. He looked for your necklace too in case you lost it here. But he found no track or lead on you, like you were never here in the first place.
They rejoiced on the main road as the rest of the men kept searching.
"Anything?" asked Cho, a glint of hope in his eyes that only shattered when it landed on his search partner.
Enishi shook his head discouraged. "You?"
"Nope."
"How did she even just disappear into thin air like that?"
"I don't know."
He replayed the events of the night up until the crash and from when he woke up. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't grasp what happened. He knew there was a part of tonight that was missing from his head. a part that might have been ripped away by the pain he was in. That hole between the crash and him waking up was pissing him off. He knew something happened but he couldn't recall it back.
He looked back at the bush he rolled through. Pinning down the place he was laying in and the spot he found Cho in, he looked for a way to measure the spot you would have been in after the carriage broke into pieces. Walking around the splotches of mud, he followed his gut and took off towards the woods. Something about the woods bothered him.
Thinking hard on it, he got a few steps away then it hit him like a flash of lightning touched his head - he did feel something happen. The person crashing into his chest, shaking him awake desperately and the rustles around him until everything went eerily quiet.
"It was her," he spoke breathlessly alerting the blonde.
"What are you talking about?"
"Before I woke up, I felt something. She tried to shake me awake. One moment she was grabbing onto me then the next she was gone."
His head started pounding and he had to hold onto it. That wasn't all. He saw you too, kicking and screaming through the haze as someone threw you over their shoulder. Then he blacked out again.
"I saw her."
"You saw her?! What do you mean?"
"Someone hauled her up and took her away," he groaned as he was spilling detail after detail he couldn't recall witnessing before.
"At least now we know she was here. We just need to figure out who took her."
Pacing around, Enishi took a look at the rubbles again. His eyes drew back to the road, mentally piecing together the events of the night leading up to the crash. That fireball came from the direction they left from - the club. A planned attack? Maybe. From which side present last night? The Triads? The Daos? The men behind that traitorous scum he killed? That was the mystery Enishi couldn't solve.
They were barely half an hour away when it happened. It definitely had to be someone from there. The Triads were barely armed but someone back there was loaded, both inside and outside to ensure their own safety - a mafia. If anyone had access to a catapult and incendiary ammunition on the side of town it was them.
Upon seeing the grim smirk on Enishi's face, Cho shuddered. Whenever he had that look on his face, it was either good or bad news, for him or for someone else. The blond didn't feel like playing the lottery right now so he just asked.
"What are you thinking?"
Enishi's gaze lifted up to him with a deeper grin.
"I think we need to pay the Daos a little visit."
Violence is never the answer. But it sure looked like it when this cross-legged, brunette, excuse of a human being opened her mouth.
You couldn't hold back when she spoke like it was her who ordered the attack on you and the boys and the heartless way she said it was enough to make your blood boil with rage. Once your punch flew her way, your hands wound up around her neck, planning to choke her until she spilled all her useless words and bitchy attitude out.
"What the fuck did you just say?" you gritted, pressing harder into her neck.
"Exactly what you heard," she spoke through gasping breaths. "You were all supposed to perish with that one fireball."
"How about you perish by my own two hands?"
Hooking a hand into her lacy top, you got up and dragged her along on the floor until you reached one of the stone pillars on the side. The girls watched with mouths open from the table as you lifted her up to it, smacking her head into it multiple times. That irritating grin on her face never fell away, even as you bashed her face in pretty well with just that one punch, splitting her lip open right next to the previous damage you made back at the club.
Upon hearing the ruckus, the guards came back down but never intervened, sitting at the entrance with smug looks on their faces, just enjoying their temporary entertainment.
So focused on strangling the living daylights out of her, she dug a powerful punch of her own right into your broken ribs. The pain spread worse than before, pulsing with every heartbeat in your chest. You winced and let go of her to hold onto your side, pinning her down with another murderous look.
Dirty little ass bitch. Just wait until I step on your face.
Determined to do just that, you kept your hand on your side, spinning a roundhouse kick her way. She stepped backwards, but the tip of your boots still scrapped her nose good enough to give her a nosebleed. You didn't give her time to fall back in attack, following up with a reverse side kick sending her right into another stone pillar.
"Damn, girl," howled Marissa. "You can fight in a dress and look badass in it too? Where did you get it?"
"I made it."
"Consider me putting in an order."
Your eyes widened. Your first customer just made an appearance. One you were excited as hell to dress up from the get go.
"Really?" you asked, facing her.
"If you're free of charge?"
"For you, anytime," you smirked.
In your customer scouting haze, you left your back open giving your denigrated sister an opportunity to run and jump on it. She wrapped her legs around your torso and her slinky hands around your throat trying to cut your air supply off, squeezing hard on all fronts.
Why is she like a bug you just can't kill?
Running backwards, you shoved her against a pillar, rolling for another fall and another, until she finally slid off your back grunting in pain. But she didn't slide off without grabbing onto the length of your hair to haul you on the ground instead. She wrapped a fist into it, pulling on it whichever side she wanted. Your hands wound up over hers trying to pry them away, aimlessly kicking at her until something shiny glinted in your peripheral and all your movement ceased.
She had a knife on hand. When she swiped the blade off the table, you had no idea, but before you could kick it away she flipped the handle upwards and thrust it hard into your thigh, making sure to plunge it deep through the material of your dress. Blood seeped out from the edges staining the ruby red a deeper, darker shade. You cried out in pain, letting a hand fall from her wrist tugging on your hair to sit around your new wound. Coupled with the jostle in your ribs, it hurt like a motherfucker.
The girls got up from the table in a haste, heading for you with shouts to stop her but the guards ran their way to keep them aside, pulling their swords out. They wouldn't get involved. They had no reason to as long as you both were breathing and not on the edge of death. This was unsolved business between you and her.
Her deft fingers, scarred from playing the violin, now inched deeper into your scalp with violent intent. Pulling your hair to her, she got closer and grinned widely in your face before making a tight fist and sending it to you with her empty hand while the other kept you in place. She kept going and going like she was following a written score on her instrument, replacing a musical sheet of paper with your face, drawing the notes with her knuckles instead of a pencil.
When she was satisfied with the bruises forming on your face and the black eye she gave you, matching the very damage you did to her face she stopped, leaning down to you. This time, her eyes were far from soulless, like they appeared back at the club. They were full of venom and spite.
"This is what you get for sticking your nose where you don't belong. You can't kill me in here. I'm the only one that can walk in and out of here unharmed while you all rot down here like rats." Turning her venomous sight on them, her tongue rolled with more insults at the address of the girls. "After all, that's why he collected you all. To eat up the trash and clean up the mess, getting scraps from above for food," she laughed. "Just like rats."
She had a lot of nerve to say these things when any of those girls could just wrap their hand around her wrists to snap them in two, making sure she would never play that wretched violin ever again. Why none of them did it yet was a question you were burning to ask. Once you finished this.
Spitting out the blood swimming in your mouth, you turned up a smirk of yours as your hand wrapped around the handle of the knife, silently bracing yourself for the pain to come.
"I may not be able to kill you," you grunted, twisting the knife upwards and out of your leg. Your blood dripped off the knife, inaugurating the stone floors with your presence.
"But I can make sure you keep your fucking mouth shut."
Faster than she could catch up on your move, you pulled out the knife from your thigh, flipping the handle and plunged it into her arm. You went deeper than she had the courage to stab you, making sure the hilt went through until it touched her skin like a wall decoration.
She shrieked, letting go of your hair to draw backwards until she reached the empty table, putting distance between you. She pulled the knife out and stood right back up, grabbing as many unused knives as she could find on top of the table. Pushing yourself up to stand with a bad ankle and a bleeding thigh, wheezing with the sharp air you drew in, you scoured the place for anything you could use to defend yourself. You ended up with the chair closest to you that looked worse for wear in your hands. You smashed it on the floor and broke it into pieces, grabbing a good hold on the longest parts.
She has knives and I have... wood.
Real inventive.
I can make a pyre and burn her on it. Maybe then she'll finally die. Big maybe to test out.
Your plan remained unfinished as she started throwing the knives at you one by one. The wooden planks flew out to catch them before they impaled deeply in your skin, wishing to keep the stabbing count at one and done. You let her throw all of them, avoiding the lower ones and paring the upper ones to the side, sending them right into the burning firestone at the side. She kept at it until she had no more blades to throw, seething as she looked at the forks stabbed in the meat as if she was tempted to throw those too, food included.
"Nice try, but you missed" you yelled, taking her attention away.
She smirked at you like a viper. "Check again."
What? I don't need to check again... Your eyes drifted around your arms, your heaving torso, front and back, then stopped at your legs. Indeed, there was another knife sledged in your leg. Right beside the gash she already gave you.
You've got to be shitting me.
The adrenaline of the moment might be what kept you from feeling that second knife embed into your thigh so close to the other one. It looked way deeper than the first. Your leg turned numb too, which wasn't a good sign.
On one more rage spurt, you threw the wooden logs in your hands at her, then collapsed on the floor. The first log missed but the next smacked her right across the face and you couldn't help a snort.
"Okay, this ends now," yelled a guard, finally moving to break the fight apart. He took to the brunette's aid, instructing the girls on what to do unless they wanted to bear consequences.
"One of you go pick up the new catch and help her to her cell. The rest go back to eating. If you're not done in the next ten minutes, there will be no more food for you this week, fights won or not."
That was a punishment that should've been yours, not theirs. You started the brawl in the first place.
With that warning, they left the way they came, taking the wench with them. Once they were out of sight, you let out a sigh that hurt like hell under your smashed ribs. Lyla ran over to you, followed by the rest each firing hundreds of questions at you. You waved them off unable to focus on any of them but the numbing feeling in your leg.
"Go eat guys. You need it more than me." You shot Lyla a look as you sauntered up on your legs unsteady, holding onto a pillar. "You too Lyla. I've got this."
"Where's your cell?" she asked, clearly not convinced by your words. You debated lying but she knew how far your white lies went. Not one of them went past her, no matter how hard you tried.
"About twenty-five rows of stairs upwards?"
"You've got it my ass. That's where mine is too."
She walked back to the table, packing some more food and fruits in a cloth for later, wrapping the edges tight into a small bundle. Coming right back, she hauled your arm over her shoulders.
"See you later, guys. Enjoy."
"Bye ladies," you smiled as best as you could, saluting them over Lyla's shoulder.
"Thank you Lyla! Take care," they all said in unison.
Barely, but somehow, you managed to climb all those flights of stairs. With Lyla's help and countless curses dropped here and there when the knife that was still in your leg moved in the slightest. Lyla advised against pulling it out, letting it feel numb rather than hurt.
The further you got from the bottom of the tunnel, the more looks you threw behind. You've had enough of heights to last you a lifetime. A fall from this far up would have your body shatter into pieces like a mug falling on the floor. Not something you were eager to try out.
"Stop looking down there or I'll drop you," said Lyla with a low grunt. She moved to grab you better, trying to take most of the weight off your wounded leg, almost losing the hold of the food package in the process.
"Sorry. This is one long tunnel. How deep in the ground are we?"
"I don't know and I don't wish to know."
Her tone told you she was pissed. Way more than the usual amount.
"Are you mad at me?"
She stopped walking, glancing at you briefly. "You're the smartest person I know." You were about to thank her for the surprising compliment when she continued. "But sometimes, you're the biggest idiot I've ever met."
Your mouth fell closed.
"I didn't mean to start a fight. And I mean, she asked for it."
"She does ask for it on the regular, but that doesn't mean you go and give it to her. Ignoring is a thing, you know."
"Oh, come on. You can't tell me that wasn't a highly requested punch session by the way you were all cheering me on."
She sighed. You had a point.
"Aim for her tongue next time."
Hopping along the long corridor, you finally reached your cell. The door was left open for you. Not for escaping but for containing. The chains were gone however, for now, but they might be back soon.
"Is your cell really up here?" you asked, suspicious if she was telling the truth.
"Right next to you," she pointed to your right.
Your brows drew together in confusion. "Why did I not hear you while I was here?"
"I was probably downstairs fighting. Those take a while."
Lyla helped you sit down against the wall, then moved to place the food pack somewhere that wasn't wet and dirty.
"Can you," you gestured to the knife poking out of your upper thigh.
"I think it decorates pretty well. Matches the dress...," she paused, tilting her head to the side, "or what's left of it."
You looked her dead in the eyes.
"Can you just fucking pull it out?"
"Yep."
She wrapped her hand around it and in one swift pull the knife was out. You caught a hold of the velvet around your arm, ripping the sleeve from the seams and wrapped it around as soon as the blood started seeping out. Lyla slumped against the metal bars next to you, watching you patch yourself up.
"That was fun," she said, a hint of a smile on her face. Despite her scolding, she did enjoy the fight back there. Your enjoyment of the quarrel was gone by now.
"If that's your definition of fun," you huffed, tying the material tighter around your thigh, "then you're not right in the head."
"That makes two of us sweetie." Your hands stopped, eyes ogling her for the meaning of her words. "Heard you've been rolling around in bed with the very crime lord of Shanghai."
When, where and from who does one find out such news?
Considerably shocked, you decided to deny all allegations upon further evidence.
"I don't know what you're talking about."
"News travels fast in this shithole. People talked of sightings of him alongside a really conniving, skilled Japanese assassin, that's been assisting him on his recent missions."
Evidence proven.
"Did they really call me conniving and skilled?"
"I knew it," she gasped loudly. "They didn't say that. I just happened to hear of a poster your face was drawn on. The descriptions varied but I knew it had to be you."
"How?"
"Oh, I don't know," she clapped her hands together. "Wild hair, wears mostly Western clothing, wields two golden pistols engraved with roses. Want me to say more?"
If Lyla could tell it was you from mere hearsay, you've been in the visor of the Triads for longer than you thought you were hidden well. Unfathomable to think that news travelled down in this cavern that was practically nowhere, but not to yours or Enishi's ears.
"Now tell me. What's going on between you two?"
"I'm not rolling around. We just..." you paused, at a loss for words. You tried looking for at least one word that described the relationship between you and Enishi but came up blank in the mess of every other cursed thing you wanted to call it.
"You just..." Lyla pressed on, a knowing look already on her face. But she waited for you to spell it out.
Good to know she still hasn't lost that nosiness and love for humiliation.
"We just live together. I'm his weapons person. We fight together." Your gaze fell back on your leg, fingers moving to undo the knot of your bandage and wrap it once more, trying to evade the obvious. "That's about it."
"And they were housemates," she concluded.
You shook your head with a laugh. "Trust me, there's nothing nice about living with him under the same roof."
That was the wrong lie to utter.
There were nice things about living together with Enishi under the same roof. The fact that he offered you your own room, giving you privacy and a space away from mafia things unless you wanted to be a part of it. The fact that you had a kitchen all to yourself, available at all times, night and day, as well as access to other amenities. He also trained you and taught you how to wield a sword properly. He made you tea sometimes and had deep talks about life with you in the middle of the night when nightmares kept you awake.
So, in all truth, there were more nice things outweighing the bad ones when it came to sharing a roof with him.
A small smile rose on your lips, much like a flower opening her petals after the rain to welcome the warmth of sunrays. Upon seeing it Lyla just couldn't leave it alone.
"It feels like there's something you're not telling me," she pried in like a cat looking for treats, scratching your leg until you gave them to her.
You drew in a breath. "It's complicated."
"If men weren't complicated, the world would be such a nice place."
There was immense truth in that.
"What about you? Still playing the queen of hearts or did some nice chap tame you yet?"
"Oh, no, no. I'm too wild to be tamed by a pair of balls and a dick."
"Last time I checked, you loved a pair of balls and a dick at night."
"I still do. But there's nothing you can do about it when you're down in a dungeon," she spoke, looking away through the metal bars with a sadness in her eyes that a pang of it rang through your own heart.
"Although, there is a guard here that I managed to get under with my charms. He supplies us with clothes and extra food, even outside world news sometimes. That's how I found out about you and that guy."
"Putting those skills to good use, I see."
"Oh, I didn't get into his pants yet."
That is news. Lyla was never one to wait too long before calling it like it is and having a good lay. If anything, it was her who dictated how a catch would go and not the other way around. But then again, who would sleep with someone down in this humid, smelly cave?
"How long has it been?"
"Way too long. My lady parts are riveting every time I see him and what's worse," she leaned in to whisper as if she was afraid of a higher power or the very guard she had the hots for listening in to the conversation. "He's not even my type. It must be the worst thing about being stuck here."
That begged the question...
"How long have you been down here?"
"A while," she sighed, settling in next to you. "They took me on a mission about two years ago. I was out doing the rounds for this man working in the arms trade. I was just supposed to guard and check a shipment but it was a set up. I was too blind to notice since I walked into it alone and without cover."
"Why did you go alone?"
"Because he specified it was a one person job. And he told me he was going to pay me a quarter of what he got for them. From what he was saying, it was a big shipment from overseas. It sounded like good money since no one was hiring assassins at the time."
She's been down here for two years. It's been two years since you haven't heard from her. Two years that she spent here in this pit of vipers by herself without a way to get out.
If I knew she disappeared, if I knew what happened...
But there was no way of knowing. You left and cut all ties with everyone you knew, including her, not just for yours but her safety as well. And look where that landed you both - right in the hands of the Triads for god knows what plans they had with you beside their exclusive fight club.
Leaving did more worse than good. I could've been there for her. I should've been there for her.
"I'm sorry," you said, head diving into the ground. It seemed like sorry was the only thing you could say, regret seeping through your bones like it was right at home ever since you've woken up in this dungeon.
She shook her head with a small smile on her rosy lips. "It's okay. I'm more sorry they managed to get you in here since you're not exactly an easy person to catch. What happened?"
With a grunt, you leaned behind on the stone wall to sit up in a better position that didn't hurt your middle upon simply breathing. Thinking of a place to start, since you had a duty to catch her up on everything that's happened since you've last seen each other, you struggled to pick just one thing. There was a whole amalgam of things that happened leading up to last night. Recalling one or the other would send the average human being into brain damage.
"It's a long story."
"As you can see, we have all the time in the world."
Focusing on the night before, you started with the whole mission, its objective, that was a complete fail, and how it ended with a giant fireball being thrown at you in the middle of the road. You then continued with the whole reason why you left your life behind, your search for your parents, meeting Enishi on a not so random encounter, stumbling over Cho in the midst of it all. You told her all of it.
When you got to the reunion with the blond, she stopped you. She was well acquainted with his existence - well, his existence pre-forgiveness and the redeeming talking sessions you've had in the past week. The Cho she knew was the rugged version of the man you knew now. Not that far behind this matured, upgraded version of him, but closer to the one that left you hanging in a gun warehouse to fend for yourself against a whole mafia.
"Hold on," she stopped you, blinking rapidly. "Cho Sawagejo?! The fucker that left you for money and a shiny sword job?"
You nodded lightly.
"Please tell me you held him at gun point and made him apologize with tears in his eyes."
Letting out a nervous laugh, you looked away trying to avert your eyes from the grenade next to you that was a word away from being armed and thrown out.
"About that.."
She knew that look. It was the look you had when you were too kind to people and just forgave whatever fucker did you wrong, no matter how wrong or twisted the consequences of their actions backfired on you instead of their sorry ass.
"Miyu... No. No, no, no, no. Please tell me you didn't."
"I'm not sure what you're asking."
"You know damn well what I'm asking. You welcomed him back with open arms after that shit? What the hell?! If you weren't injured right now, I myself would give you a beating."
Instead of a smack you knew was headed your way, she flicked a green grape at you, hitting you right between the eyes. If that had been one of her knives it would've hurt more. Thankfully, it wasn't.
"He's different now," you tried to convince her, dusting the grape off to pop it in your mouth. "Still has that potty mouth of his, but he's been repenting on his wrongs and he kinda did right by them."
"What if that's what he wants you to believe?"
"He wouldn't," you shook your head. "If he did, he wouldn't have made countless amends with me, Lyla. If you met him now, you'd see that too."
"If I met him, I'd break his legs and carve out his balls with his own swords and hang them on the hilts like tassels," she said, completely determined on doing it if she felt like it. You imagined that happening and cracked a smile.
"And your prince? How did he react to all this?"
You blew a huffed breath, trying to release some of the pressure in your tense shoulders. Upon revisiting the past few days after Cho's arrival, you got a whole migraine. Way too much happened, but amongst everything, the insane display of 'I'm a man and I came to claim what's mine' between the two ambulant testosterone, war-waging beings was sticking out the most.
"God, it was like watching the fucking war for the jungle in front of your very own eyes," you pointed two fingers to your eyes to emphasize the point.
"They were at each other's throats every minute of the day. That only filled up the mansion with the kind of tension you genuinely don't need to be around. Kitchen, garden, even my room!" you huffed throwing your hands up in annoyance. "I wanted to dig a hole in the ground and crawl out of it only when they got bored of playing useless alpha male games with each other, keeping me as leverage in the middle."
"Mhm. One question."
You nodded at her to shoot it out.
"Which one did you fuck?"
"LYLA!" you screeched, leaning over to smack her arm. Her eyebrows only raised further, demanding an answer.
"None of them," you lied, but she caught up on it before you even registered the denial slipping past your lips.
"You did bone one of them! I can see it all over your face. Oh god," she gasped. "Was it gray haired dude? A wanted mafia lord?! Way to go, sister," she smacked your arm excitedly. "Now that I think about it, you did always have a thing for older guys."
"We're the same age," you pushed her hand away with a huff. "I am never talking about my life with you ever again."
"Was it good? Is it big?"
"Is what big?" you blinked up at her confused.
Putting up her palms parallel to each other, she grinned devilishly then started widening the gap between them, looking between the imaginary air pocket between her wiggling fingers and your flustered face as you figured out just what she was asking.
"Tell me when to stop," she pressed as she kept widening the gap to an insane length that looked almost inhumane to even perceive. How does that even fit inside -
"LYLA! OH GOD. He's big okay. He's alright," you hissed, running a hand down your face in embarrassment.
Knowing him, he was probably panicking right about now or gutting Cho for looking at him wrong, and I'm here talking about his-
Dear lord, I have sinned.
"How big? Come on humor me."
The current size she was left on was... close enough. But she didn't need to know that, so you slapped her hands away.
"Filling. That's all I'm going to say."
She leaned back with a satisfied smile. "That's good enough for me."
"What are you even going to do with that information?"
"That's for me to know only."
Suspicious... But it's Lyla. If there's nothing dirty coming out of her mouth every five minutes something must be really wrong. Then again, you missed this kind of girl talk and most of all, you missed her. Overtaken by another wave of sadness, you beckoned her over for another hug.
"Come here," you opened your arms. "I missed this so much."
She smiled and scooched closer, falling into your arms extremely careful not to rattle your new injuries. Your hands wrapped around her, just as careful not to press on any of hers.
"I missed you too, fiery rose," she sighed in your shoulder. "In a fucked up way, I'm really glad you're here and alive. And getting criminal dick-"
"Shut up," you laughed and smacked her shoulder.
"He must be really good in bed if you're keeping quiet about it."
"I kinda wish she stabbed me in the ear so I wouldn't have to hear any of this."
"You'd still have one I'd talk away endlessly about dick," she giggled.
She leaned into your ear and proceeded to annoyingly continue to catalogue all types and sizes she's been through, hoping you would cave in and tell her more if she got you flustered enough. But you zipped it up with a secretive smile. That was only for you to know.
By nightfall, a handful of Enishi's men armed themselves with blades from head to toe and took off marching over to the Daos territory on the outskirts of Shanghai.
Enishi stopped his small task force in the forest overlooking the path in front of the casino, regrouping in the shadows. While they hopped off their transport and checked all their weapons, he stalked forward, raven eyes surveying the scene. There were guards all around, from the front walkway to the sides, each carrying long swords. Revolvers hung in the belts of some, attached loosely next to sets of knives.
Seems like they expect company, he thought. The last time he was there, they had way less security around. Now the big guys were spurn up in front of the door, towering over it, while the rest had their own version of blackjack going on the side of the doors on top of barrels of rum. They slapped cards down as if they were playing inside the crystal-ticked casino walls with the rest of the high society they were supposed to guard.
Walking back to his men, he beckoned them closer for one last callout before going in to ruin the party. Cho had one last check over his blades then sheathed his katanas and made his way next to him.
"What's the plan?" asked the blond.
Enishi just glanced at him with a serious jaw tilt. The kind that meant controlled disaster was on its way. Though he was surprised to see the seriousness morph into a raving grin upon the words leaving Enishi's mouth.
"Was thinking of leaving plans aside tonight."
That was a first. He always carried plans at the ready in all forms, having a side save for every failed one, but all of a sudden they were all extinct from his calendar. He didn't even bother planning ahead this time, knowing all he had to do was get inside and have a heart to heart with the chief of the Daos.
"I like that," smirked Cho, looking forward to having some fun tonight. His katanas, though borrowed, liked seeing slashed skin rather than their metallic casing.
"There's no plan, but you don't kill anyone until I give the okay."
There might have been no plans in store, but they had to do this the right way or shit could go sideways tonight too. And he didn't want it to. Cho sulked, dropping the hilts of his swords back down till the metal tsubas clicked against their hold.
"That's not fun."
"I'm not looking for a war," said Enishi, hoisting his sword on his back. "Unless they give me a reason to start one."
A war was not in his cards. But if they liked to play with fire he was going to torch them good, have them think twice about where their loyalty stood at when it came to taking one of his on his territory. All he needed was a wrong move and the Dao lineage would cease existence for good tonight, right in this hedonist place crawling with liars and traitors. A tempting gamble to take.
With a swift nod, his pack of mercenaries took to the sides of the building. Moving stealthily, they took the guards by surprise, knocking them out before they could call out to the ones on the front. It didn't take long for the sides and the back to be secured, each squadron sending a glint of their blade in signal that the perimeter was clear. All sides besides the entrance.
Walking out of the shadows with Cho at his side, they marched all the way to the front doors. Two of the four muscular brutes guarding the tall, slick black doors, stepped out to block the path with a cross of their blades.
"You are forbidden access," sneered one of them, looking down at Enishi.
"I'm here to talk to your boss. We've got some unfinished business."
The guard leaned down, his sneering face falling in front of Enishi's with a scowl.
"Forbidden." He spat each syllable as if it would make him look of much higher authority.
Talking was a lost cause from the get-go. Enishi sent him a smirk before his fist connected with his face, shoving the giant to the ground. The thug sauntered back on his legs and got a hold of Enishi's neck hauling him against the door, punching his abdomen multiple times, the next fist diving harder than the previous.
Cho took on the other one with a clash of his katanas, slashing his chest open then his back, getting rid of him right away. The other two came at the blond, swiveling around to corner him. They sent their blades on par with his arms lifting the katanas upwards to catch them both. They both pressed down on his swords, his muscles straining under their combined strength. His right side throbbed with new hot pain, shaking the hold on his attack katana.
On the other side, Enishi grappled with the troll that was double his size. He grabbed a hold of the his face and thrust his head right into his, shocking him a enough to a punch of his own, cracking his nose open. He struck and struck, until his face turned to a bloody mess, but even then the brute continued sneering at him. He smiled baring his giant teeth before he smacked Enishi right back in the wall beside the door.
Cho couldn't hold the pressure any longer. At once, he thrusted his swords upwards shoving both giants off of him. Turning the hilt of his attack katana in his right, he shoved it in the torso of the one closest, using the recoil to send the blade through his comrade. The katana embedded in that bulky torso like it cut through a hunk of meat, blood leaking beside the edges to land on the ground with loud splotches.
Smirking in triumph, thinking that would end at least one of his opponents, he gasped in shock. The thug stood his ground catching a hold of the blade margin and tugged Cho forwards while he pulled on the blade backwards trying to get it out. The other threw his sword at him from behind falling right on his defense katana, getting him stuck between the two. His defence blade was completely useless without the balance of his attack partner in his other hand.
"Fuck this."
With a low sweep he kicked the legs from under the giant on his right and as he fell he drew his sword out and slashed open a big gash across his chest. Sparring the other one, he sent double cuts that sliced open the skin above his thighs, then defended using the pair of swords together. The thug got tired and with the first opening he saw he slashed both katanas in opposite ways across chest, bringing them back to slither parallel through his middle once more. Breathing heavily, he fixed up his bad shoulder with a roll, checking the two were eliminated for good.
Enishi had enough of his own dance partner. He drew out his hands going for a chokehold around the brute's long neck, squeezing harder than it was meant for a quick knock out. At this point he wanted him dead and gone, no matter the way he went about it.
The brute laced on his arms, trying to ply them off the trunk of his neck but before he could, Enishi moved behind him and delivered the final blow right to the back of his head then twisted his neck, falling to the floor with him.
Cho ambled his way to Enishi who was heaving breaths like he chased the wilderness in the forest for a hunt session.
"Rusty much?" joked Cho.
"I said no killing," deadpanned Enishi, looking over at the bloody mess behind him.
"That one looks pretty dead to me," said Cho, pointing at the grizzly Enishi dueled with.
Ignoring him, he marched up throwing the doors open. He walked the long corridor coming to the small staircase only to be faced with a full house. All tables were occupied and armed. If he had to take a guess, most of the clan was present in the casino tonight. Suddenly, the purging of the Daos didn't seem like such a bad idea at the moment.
"Swords out," he roared to the troops behind.
The blond clocked him with a raised eyebrow. "You think?"
"Just shut up and fight. Don't get killed."
All hell broke loose.
The men sent their women to the back hallways then broke out their weapons to take over. Enishi led his men right into the fire, unsheathing his wato to wade through the suited bodies trying to stop him. They all failed miserably as he advanced, sending slash after slash before they could even lift their guns and point them at him, cutting through them three at a time. What went past him fell in the care of his mercenaries, tearing through the masses with the intent of not letting anyone escape.
Cho followed Enishi, moving towards the heavily weaponized side. He spotted them loading up to shoot. Quick on his feet, he kicked the guns out of the hands closest to him, tearing his blade through the rest of the barrels pointed at him, slicing through the cheap metal casing. Whoever supplied their weapons did a shit job at it.
Enishi dove through the bladed side, disarming as many as they fell in front of him, slashing the rest to shreds. Silver bullets still flew his way, bouncing off the edge of his steel with a single flick of his wrist. He moved side to side, avoiding all shots, taking down his opponents faster than they saw him coming.
The gunfire rang deafeningly over the clang of swords, drowning the angry shouts and the grunting cries of pain from both sides. The pungent scent of opium rapidly altered with the burning stench of gunpowder and the spoor of blood already in the air. Despite Enishi's wishes for a somewhat peaceful fight, the casino turned into a raging battlefield quicker than he intended it to. As much as he tried to avoid it, war was upon them. He could still control the outcome of this battle. If it didn't escalate to a point of no return.
With both of them on the attack, they ended up cornered in front of the crystal bar. Cho landed back to back with Enishi, defending each other's blind spots.
"Having Miyu here would've been so helpful," grunted the blond as his swords were dug into him by two men, each paring down their jian over his defence cross.
"She's the reason we're here in the first place," gritted Enishi, shoving off his own assailants with his wato, sending them tumbling into the bar.
"We need to get through to the hallways. If he runs off before we get to him," he grunted, curling his blade to cut up another running thug, throwing his sword away before crashing a bottle over his head, "we will never find her."
Enishi's men managed to overpower the rest of the Daos. Leaving them to take care of the main salon, he made his way through the hallway with the blond at his back, fighting the ones pooling in the front and the others coming from the back.
He buried through the force coming from up ahead. Jumping with a kick to the right to shove one into the wall, he used the boost to throw his leg up and ram it down over the head of the next one. Landing back on the ground, he barely caught the sword coming his way, wato clinging dangerously low on its hilt. That blade wasn't just any blade. A quick glance at the amber peeking under the stripes of the hilt and he recognized it. It was an odachi made from olden Japanese steel, its blade almost a meter long, curving wide like the arch of a bow.
Three more thugs coming down had them in their amateur hold. All of their handles were amber and black as onyx, the blades as sharp as if they just rolled out of the factory. That was steel made on special order, two pairs in amber, two pairs in black. Steel he just so happened to hold in his own two hands a few months ago, right before his weapons warehouse got broken into. They weren't marked with a seal yet, but he gave the measurements and details to the craftsmen himself.
Interesting, he thought, lifting a quizzical eyebrow. I wonder where they got those.
The swords came barreling down on him at the same time. They wanted to overpower him in that compact corridor. They wielded the swords messily, treating them like the shorter range blades they used on a day to day basis. That gave him an advantage. He whizzed through them, using their slow speed to smack the swords out of their hands. Soon enough they were all disarmed, inching for their pocket knives. Enishi kicked some away, spinning in reverse with a flip that sent the small knives right in the walls. The rest flew at once, aimed at his chest. One swing of his sword had the edge catch their tips with a screech, directing them into the wall.
Cho cleared the back and came to Enishi's side. Those four were the last one standing between them and their leader, the rest of the hallway cleared both ways.
Sharing a quick look, they got hold of a strategy to finish this quickly. Enishi went high, Cho went low. They wasted enough time as it is. Any more of it would have the chief running away. Two punches ricocheting from one guy into the other to knock them out cold and four slashes later, they got through those four too.
They ran all the way to the back until the room with the golden seven came into view. Without hesitation, Enishi stepped back and ran, kicking down the door in full force ripping it off its hinges, stepping over it once it crashed with a thud on the other side. Thankfully, the man he was looking for was still there. Standing right at the top of the poker table presumably in the middle of a game, his nose was stuffed with tissues, the imprint of a familiar heel left across the bridge of his nose. The look on his face gave him away - he was completely oblivious to the chaos happening in his casino.
At the sight of the two, he stood up throwing his cards on the table. One move of his fingers and the rest of his men in the room drew out in a line surrounding the table to protect him.
"Came to die again?"
"Where is she?"
"Ah, looking for that bitch that broke my nose? Unfortunately, you won't find her here."
Something moved in his peripheral. A quick look had him find Liu right in the corner about to sneak out behind them while Enishi was busy with the Daos. Cho stepped up to him, trapping him between the cross of his blades. The rest of the men around the room pulled out theirs, though not even those belonged to them. What some of them gripped in their hands were the long hilt nagamaki swords, these too part of Enishi's custom missing weaponry.
"Nice blades you got there," he spoke, voice laced with amusement at the shit he was seeing. "Where'd you get them?"
"Downtown through a really great trades person," he smiled widely, proud with himself as if he was the one who made and bought them. "If you wanted to ask me about weapons you could have done so without breaking down my door."
"Those weapons belong to me. They were stolen from my warehouse."
At his words, the chief of the Daos paled over like the cloth laying on the side of the table, stained with drops of his blood.
"Let me take a wild guess," spoke Enishi, lowering his sword. "The work of the Snake, isn't it?"
He gulped confirming Enishi's suspicions.
"How much did you pay him for all those custom made weapons? Ten? Fifteen?"
His head inclined to the side. He paid more.
"Double then? Thirty?"
"Twenty."
He laughed in his face. "Twenty for a shipment worth fifty million in raw cash. And I thought he would've used his head and charged more to get some profit. I guess he's not that great at trades as you thought he was."
That last remark was all it took for him to explode. Exactly what Enishi wanted. Stroke the lion then throw him the bone instead of the meat and see how desperate he becomes that he'll lick the very bone like the meat was still on it.
"Kill them," he rasped out to his men.
Looking back at Cho, he nodded to him to keep on Liu while he dealt with the seven leftover men in his way. He took on the two nagamaki wielders first, noticing their hold on the handles were wrong from the very start. Kicking their wrists one by one, they let go of the blades, staggering backwards. The others came at him with the odachi swords. Thrusting his wato, he caught all of them on the edge. Holding them off, he threw his leg upwards rotating it to the side to hit the weaponless men to the side. Moving his sword in a circle above his head, he gathered all the odachi, shifting the wato to press down on them. One kick above the five hilts was all it took to knock them over, getting the blades out of their useless hands.
Throwing the blades to the floor with his own, he let them come at him giving them a fair chance at a fight. They circled him, taking turns. The first one came at him with a sharp fist. He let him run into his friend on the opposite side, knocking him out cold. Returning with more anger, Enishi let him try two more punches before he slid the legs from under him watching as he hit a chair, cracking his skull open.
Three more left.
Another one came at him with one of the discarded odachi. He tried balancing the long range blade, treating it like a mere sword. He had difficulty moving it for a slash because of the smaller handle, letting the blade fall downwards. Enishi waded the messy slashes, getting closer until he caught a hold of his wrist. A hit to his throat had him choke, another one to his chest took his air away, the last one to his stomach had him fall to his knees.
The other two took off running towards the door. Cho threw one of his katanas swiftly, hitting one of them right in the back. The rest of Enishi's crew wound up by the door stopping the other one in his tracks.
Picking up his sword from the floor, he walked up to the leader of the Daos, his fallen kin that have almost gone extinct.
"Why are you really here?" he asked, standing tall in the face of the Shanghai mafia like his own would raise from the dead and come to his aid. "My men will end all of you-"
"Your men are dead. As for why I'm here," he smirked wickedly his way, "I came to finish what my girl started last night."
"You would go so far for a whore like her? Shanghai is crawling with them."
Those words were all it took for him to close the distance to him, booting his blade away to the side to sink his own sword in that hunk of an arm, silver edge curving deep enough to draw spurts of blood out of him. Hitting the back of his knees, the brute crumbled to the floor together with his superiority complex. His left hand latched onto his shirt, making sure his ears were open to hear him loud and clear.
"I would tear every inch of flesh off your body if it brought me even one soul closer to finding her."
The hold on his blade was steady, way more stable than the anger coursing through his veins. But his wato sat sheathed way too long, sheltered away from its lust for chaos, deeply yearning to taste blood and cut flesh down to the bone the way it was made to.
He had the leader of a bigger mafia kneeling right at his feet. There was a time when the pride and power that came with this sight was all he ever wanted to witness, but right now it didn't matter at all to him. Tonight, he wasn't out for blood or power or to retrieve his stolen weapons or to seek revenge. Tonight, he was out for you.
"Where is she?"
The chief of the Daos just smirked in his face, disregarding the blade slashing down his arm, severing through ligaments more and more by the minute. Enishi's wrist moved slow, digging it deeper until he trembled the way his pulse pounded through him.
"You don't know why they took her do you?"
Enishi's body stopped moving altogether. Searching those evil empty black eyes proved useless, finding only amusement at his torment in them. He let his guard down, letting the brute continue with his taunting.
"They not only took her for who she is, but more for what she is."
"What is that supposed to mean? What is she to them? Why do they want her so badly?"
Each question had him roar deeper in his face. The kneeling brute simply laughed, drops of blood flying from his lips to paint the green of the poker table in crimson stains. The rising tide of rage inside of him was reaching dangerous heights, moments away from falling over the world to swallow it whole. He needed solid information, not words in the wind.
The sword coiled back against Enishi's hold, craving for much more than his owner could give it, denying its unquenchable thirst for shriveling him to pieces with one blow. His fingers twitched on the handle, wanting nothing more than to slash it across his chest and watch the life drain from him. But reason knocked into him sober. He needed this fucker alive.
"Answer me!"
"She's something that was supposed to die a long time ago. A whisper of an existence that could end us and what we stand for. You should thank me for getting rid of her instead of going to battle with my clan."
"Most of your clan is gone," he thundered, his voice drawing low, seething with disgust for his kind. "I'm nothing like you or the other rats crawling around my city thinking you own it."
"We're more alike than you think."
"If you thought for one moment that I stood with you and this world of criminals, you're wrong."
"Is that what you told her too? She still joined you despite knowing that she's always been against it since this world is what took her parents away? The very thing that destroyed her life and had her wander the streets as no one's child?"
His jaw crunched tight, teeth grinding over each other with rage that got harder to contain inside.
"Even if she doesn't know it yet, she will be what kills us. They took her to prevent that from ever happening. To make her bend to their will before she gets out of control again."
Nothing this man was saying made any sense. You were just a skilled assassin that sometimes went rampage when extremely pissed off. But even so, under all his empty words, Enishi felt there was more this man wasn't letting on. Despite all the questions he came here with, there was only one he could bring himself to ask.
"Where is she?"
"You're asking the wrong mafia," he grinned. Enishi's hold loosened in the slightest. His eyes brimmed with mischief, gleeful that he knew more than the man cutting through his arm, unable to finish the job he started.
"You think we were the only ones part of the charade at the club last night?"
There were more parts involved. Enishi knew that. But none of his men got back with new intel to help identify them.
"All I need is a name," he bargained. "Then you're free to rot in a cell under the commander in chief for the rest of your miserable life."
That seemed like a good enough bargain to take. A name for a life of isolation. Death was an option too. The easy way out. A luxury he wasn't keen on offering so soon. Too bad the man kneeling at his feet took his own fate in his hands.
"What good if my whole mafia is gone?"
Before he could ask or demand anything else, the man pulled a hidden knife and plunged it deep within his chest. Enishi's eyes went wide with surprise, watching as he slid off his blade, falling backwards, choking on his last words with painful gasps.
"I hope you never find her."
Just like that, the captain of the ship died with his own crew and the rest of the words Enishi needed to hear were lost forever. He came here with questions only to leave with so many more. Questions that drowned his head up until this moment.
An eerie silence settled in the room. The smoking tray of opium in the middle of the poker table drew to a small vapor. The lights above flickered empty. The hallways of the casino were no longer packed with lively chatter and the sound of plastic coins being thrown around roulettes for bets. It was all quiet like the dark night outside.
Enishi's mind stopped running too. Wiping his wato clean, he sheathed it back in its hold, turning to his men who were awaiting further orders. He kept his eyes trained on the floor, like he lost the final battle but won the war, successfully eliminating the Daos and their leader, but losing all tracks that could lead to you. His men looked just as lost and conflicted, grateful to have some action in a while, but at what cost if they didn't find what they came looking for. Nonetheless, he delivered them tasks like it was the daily custom.
"Search the casino for our stolen weaponry. Take Liu in for questioning. Make sure there's no trace of our tracks here."
"And the women?" asked one of them. He could read the question on his face. Won't they talk?
"Let them go. Pay them if they need it to stay quiet. It doesn't matter how much, just make sure they're tended to."
The force dispersed to each their own. Picking up a chair, he set it upright feeling the need to sit down and recall his bearings back to him. Cho handed Liu to the crew and approached him wearily, sheathing his katanas back in their hold inside his coat.
"You have a weird look on your face. What's going on?"
"Something doesn't add up," he shook his head. "Why do they know so much about her?"
"You did have a spy planted in. For several years apparently," he added.
"It still doesn't explain why they know more about her and we don't. The disappearance of her family, her life as an assassin and the one outside of it. They knew about all of it, no matter how much she covered her tracks up. They watched her from a distance, giving her the impression they were nowhere near and consider her a threat for some fucked up reason." He ran a frustrated hand through his hair. "Did anything he say ring a bell to you at all?"
"No," sighed Cho just as frustrated himself. "It sounds like a bunch of bullshit to me."
"It feels like there's a bigger puzzle we're not seeing. That this was just a piece of it that doesn't fit anywhere or we're not even looking at the right one or... I don't even know anymore."
Cho frowned at his words. He's not seen Enishi this conflicted and all over the place over anything. Not even in the past week when his loathing levels were at their highest.
"Let's hope that traitor has more to give us."
He hesitated at first, but his hand still landed on Enishi's shoulder in an encouraging pat that wasn't that well received. Enishi straightened and shot the blond a look of disgust.
"What are you doing?" he asked, eyeing the hand splayed on his shoulder with imaginary knives about to be shot into each finger separately. Maybe Cho was over the fight in the woods, as if they didn't attempt to kill each other. It would take much more than some help for Enishi to return the favor of blind trust.
"Nothing," mumbled the blond, hand flying away to scratch his neck instead.
Enishi's eyes narrowed in on him trying to gauge out his intentions. Last night, they were at each other's throats and now he was being cordial and kind of supportive. Maybe it was because they were looking for you that the lines between their mutual hatred and the care they had for you were blurring together in an odd bond of sorts. Nevertheless, it creeped him out.
His eyes fell on the poker table, mind instantly running over to the memory of you sat right beside his spot, playing the chief of the Daos with just one hand. An smile broke out on his face seeing the money in the corner, reminded of the stacks of money you had him splurge, only to lose them all in your escape before you got skewered to bits and pieces.
"What's got you smiling so wide?"
"We've been here before. Me and her. About a month ago or so," he smiled slyly, recalling that day. "We came to get intel and left a mess behind us, but before that, she played them at poker."
The blond sat down in a chair with a smile, sharing something of his own. "She always had a thing for betting. It's so hard to pull her away after she sits down to call in a game. All or nothing."
He laughed at that, shaking his head. "She had me give her stacks of money to buy inside since the game was already ongoing."
"How much did you give her?"
"Two million," he chuckled. "Two million and what looked like one more half on the table. She won it all fair and square with one hand. She didn't even get to gather the money before they were on us and we had to run off."
He did remember you stacking some spare bills in your corset before he tugged on your hand to run away. The very corset he helped you lace before crashing the party, only to then rip it off of you that same night.
"That was the same night we...," he paused, debating on whether he should even say anything.
"The same night you...," pushed the blond, eager to find out what happened.
Too bad he would have to stay curious. Enishi's eyes dove at him with a teasing wink, amused at his childish scoff.
As if I'll tell you of all people what happened that night, he smirked to himself. That's for us to know.
"Have a look around, see if you find anything of help to us," he said, patting his shoulder in a similar manner. He deserved it since he had his back tonight.
Before he turned back to searching, he picked up a light blue chip from the table. The highest value you could play in poker. Holding it to the small light in the room, he smiled softly at it, then pocketed it safely on the inside of his kimono.
Ready to turn and leave, it was only by chance that his eyes landed on the open hand the fallen leader never got to play. Next to a red ten of hearts, a jack, a king and an ace, sat the queen card - your winning hand that night. Not thinking too much about it, he gathered the hand, picking up those five cards, storing them safely next to the blue chip.
Even a pigsty has more amenities.
The cell was a nice place. If you looked past the small pot left in the corner for a makeshift medieval toilet, the stench of rotten things you hoped was just leftover food and the occasional rodent visitors that resembled anything but how they actually looked like above, on the streets of Shanghai. You had your fair share of those beasts hopping from place to place in hiding but these ones liked to hiss and stare you down as if you intruded their very own sanctuary or something.
It's been days.
How could one be able to tell that the day turned into night in that underground stone cage with no sliver of light visible?
When the gust of wind blowing through got considerably colder and the torches went out completely om both sides of the walls.
Some nights, you sat and waited for the torches to be lit up again. Truthful to your assumptions, a guard came down early, from the looks of his lightly armed body, tasked with lighting up the long row of torches from top to bottom. The last lucury of the upper world they gave you. Though you wondered if the firestone down in the pit, how the girls called that horrors cave, burned at all times like an undying flame of hope, or if that one too was extinguished when no one was there and there was no hope to look for at all.
After your brawl with the violinist, you were welcomed down in the pit like you won the war against evil. As it turns out, her name is Li Wen, a walking-talking specimen of envy personified. One that was extremely hated by all the inhabitants of the pit. Her temperament at the club was dodgy, but her personality is just as such. She is just like she plays her violin, insatiable and almost never satisfied, always on the look for more. Whether she gets it or takes it herself.
What she said the night before as she tried to use your body as a darts mat was true - she did have the power to whizz between the upper world and the pit at her own personal will, or when the Snake sent her to check on his esteemed guests. That sole advantage itself turned her into an enemy, since she mostly came around to draw her claws at the girls or execute his orders.
In her eyes she was just like him, a fighter for a greater cause, thing that gave her no semblance of respect towards them. But not even the smallest bone in her body had the power and resilience these women had in their soul.
She wasn't the one going to war with death almost nightly in order to earn her right to keep on living and a meal to survive off, wondering when the next one will come. She is part of the pit. But she will never be part of the family that's made a unique promise of protection to each other.
That is the biggest ick that she will never be able to swallow down her thick reptile throat. Not as long as she sides with the wrong people.
That same night, you sat with the girls and told them your own story. Bottom to top, past to present. Everything.
For the first time in your life, you felt like someone actually listened. For the first time, someone was able to even relate to your struggle, understanding the length and impact of the things you've gone through. For the first time, someone was able to see the scars that refused to heal, scabbing over on the surface but still hurting deep within a place that would never be able to forget the pain, the loss, the shattered hope. Because they were the same unhealed scars that all these girls shared in one way or another, having been through hell and beyond.
Connecting through a bond was one thing. A bond could be just that, a one-off unique connection. But this was so much more because connecting through pain was another thing altogether.
As you talked and shared parts of your souls with each other in stories, things you liked, things you hated; honesty and trust wound up tied together in that blazing pit. Those two things, so small but so significant, were the only things that helped them endure the fear and pain of this infinite inferno, and the only things still standing real and true to their nature within the wild hellfire scorching the world.
That was what Li Wen was missing. She was free to share her story and join the family at one point until she alienated herself from the collective acceptance. This sisterhood will be something she will always long for, something she will never have the guts to sacrifice herself for.
After your heart to heart with everyone, their daily training session started. They spread out to their own corners individually or searched for sparing partners. Still healing from your injuries, you decided to keep to the side just watching. As your eyes walked around, you noticed that a lot of them still used their weapon instincts, sending their fists like they wielded their arms.
Yana was probably the best at breaking free from the hold of her weapon. She used aerial moves and kicks with her spear which made it easier to adapt to a life without one. Though she still parried the ground for balance and often lost her fighting stance.
Lyla knew some martial arts. Where she would normally train her arms to extend, open her palms to aim her knives and strike, she now sent rigid hits with the heel of her palm using that built up strength in her forearms. Kick-wise, she struggled with the direction she wanted her foot to land in, which should hopefully be through the enemy's throat and not beside it.
Marissa struggled. You could tell she leaned on her halberd for support a lot because her current hits went lucky-go wide instead of target-focused. There was immense weight packed in her punch but no technique. Her sparring partner was one of the stone columns but even so, she had much strength but couldn't send it through. You knew she had the power to.
Stretching up and out of your humble seat on the side, you walked up to her. Sensing you approach, she turned around. Her height was questionable while she was sat down at the table but being this close to her had you stumble a step backwards.
"What's up, shorty?"
"Uhm," you paused, looking for a way to say it without getting smashed or something.
Come on, Miyu. It's just Marissa. Your big, friendly giant that could mince and marinate you if she had her halberd on hand. Though she might just do well enough smashing your head between her palms.
"Can I see your fist?"
"My fist?" she asked confused. You nodded. Unsure but trusting, she held out her fist to you. Even her hand was bigger than yours.
Taking a hold of it, you moved her fingers in a better position, locking them in with her thumb, directing her to the stone column she was bruising her knuckles in.
"Don't clench your fingers. Swing with the muscles in your shoulder, not the ones in your forearms and angle your body parallel to your opponent." You nodded to the pillar. "Try it now."
Her eyebrow lifted, lacking assurance at your directions, but she did get in the stance.
"Send it on your exhale," you added in a small voice.
Her icy eyes narrowed in on you prompting you to take another step backwards, hands held up in defence to let her do her thing. She debated it but in the end she tried it your way. Taking a long, deep breath in, she spun from the right and swung wide going right for the column on the exhale. Her fist drove into the stone with a loud crack, chipping off a quarter of the pillar to dust and rocks that fell right into the firestone behind it. The others stopped training, looking over to see what happened. Shocked, she looked her fist over on every which side only to find no bleeding creases or pink indents of damaged skin on any of her knuckles. Then her blue eyes fell on you, sparkling like dew drops on plant leaves in the early morning.
"How?"
"All you were missing was technique," you said, a small smile tugging at your lips. In return, she smiled just as big.
Moving to sit in front of her, hands held together behind your back, you motioned her to come at you.
Maybe Enishi's emotionally torturing, training techniques rubbed off on you. Or maybe you were batshit crazy since even the girls looked at you as if you've grown a head. But something just told you to do it and give her a good moving target to really test out her new set of skills.
"I can't do that," she shook her head, taking a step back refusing to attack you.
Her eyes fell on the dried blood stains littered all over your dress, stopping at the still fresh scratches on your face.
You beckoned her again. "Just trust me."
"What if I hurt you?"
"You won't."
You said that with so much confidence it surprised even you.
Marissa finally got into position and prepared for a moving punch. Her left foot pressed backwards while her right set up. With one step, she was right in front of your face, her huge fist headed for serious damage. You let her come as close as possible, just a few inches away from your face before you moved to the side, grabbing a hold of her forearm to push her forwards. She stumbled, turning to you with a guilty look on her face.
"You hesitated," you said, standing to the side.
"Because I don't want to -"
"Your enemy won't give you time to find a reason to hurt them," you argued. "You have to do it."
Softly caressing the knife won't make it not want to kill you. That was its sole purpose after all and what Enishi tried to teach you all along. Maybe you did learn something from his philosophy lessons, often coming as a package with the physical training.
"You need to strike first. No mercy. No remorse."
She sighed, tall shoulders dropping with the realization you were right. Ignoring your injured leg, you moved into a fighting stance, similar to the ones Enishi took with you.
"Now come at me for real this time."
Stop defending. Just attack.
And she did. She sent fist after fist, one more powerful than the other. Your body struggled to handle her speed but you willed it to in order to keep up and give her a real shot at it. Once you were happy with the form of her punches and she realized how well she sent them you both stopped. Holding up her fists side to side, she smiled widely at them. You simply bowed your head at her in respect.
Before you could spin back to your chair, the rest of them flocked your way asking for guidance.
"Can you help me too?" asked Mai, showing you her small fists.
Yana stomped over too, tapping your shoulder. "Can you help me with the kicks? I want to learn that reverse one you did to Li Wen's nose."
"Guys, guys, calm down! I'm no martial arts master," you waved your hands away. "I can't fight better than any of you. Not now anyway."
"But someone did teach you," said Lyla with a smirk.
Damn it.
You knew who she was referring to. There were two of them who tried busting off their asses to train you in hand to hand, close and far combat, including weaponry wielding. You failed weaponry... but you did overpower both of them in combat the last time you trained together. And that one was a no mercy match to the death you won fair and square.
These girls were experts in their individual weapons of choice. But they lacked combat technique. The kind of combat technique you ate at breakfast, lunch and dinner for the past two months and a half like it was the fucking military service trials.
If anyone could give them an extra chance at packing a deadly punch or a lethal kick and get hurt less, it was you.
"Fine," you blew a breath, whistling the stray locks of hair falling in front of your face. They cheered loudly, clapping you in the back excitedly.
"Get in a line."
A few days later, you were leading their training sessions from the sidelines, without getting involved until your ankle healed some more. Your ribs still hurt, but not enough to stop you from sparring with your hands here and there, correcting stances or acting as a moving target from time to time. Taking everything you learned from the sword master extraordinaire and placing it on different training, tailored to every girl and her fighting style, you managed to get them out of the rut.
Their forms got better than their wielding impulses, stronger than their sparing opponents, faster at laying a lethal blow if needed. Surprise after surprise came as you coached each one into changing little things that led them to big ones in such a short amount of time.
Marissa's punches became hunks of deadly power. Yana's aerials you molded following Enishi's. Lyla's flexibility went into quick attacks. All of them evolved.
On a well-deserved break, you sat around, passing mugs of water from the bucket that was brought down by the guards once a day.
"How do they announce a fight? Or who's turn it is?" you asked no one in particular. Already used to your question rounds, Yana picked it up like she was the pit's unofficial guide.
"You see the golden gong in the back?" she pointed behind you.
Your head whipped around to find a golden plate hooked up on two stands, reflecting the flickers of the fire around the pit. You've been here for days but have not taken notice of the percussion instrument at all, as if it just spawned there from nowhere. Not a lot of things to notice in a cave underground.
"Has that always been here or am I tripping? Are we sure those grapes weren't edibles?"
Laughter echoed around you in ripples of snorts and giggles. Another thing you grew to love in these past few days was making these girls laugh. An actual belly-flopping, cheeks hurting, eyes leaking laugh. Some of them haven't howled a true, joyous laugh in ages from how rusty their laughs sounded, but they welcomed your jokes nonetheless.
"It has," laughed Yana. "When they have someone ready for a fight, they come down and hit the gong. Another person has a bowl filled with our names written on thin paper strips and they just call it out."
"Is there an audience too?"
"We're allowed to sit in sometimes. The guards always sit in and place bets on the winning head."
That's disgusting. Placing bets as if they've ever been put in their shoes.
"Li Wen usually stands to the side-"
"If she's in the mood for being spat at, that is," added Marissa. "Someone always gets punched in the face and she is always right in the sputter of their blood."
You grimaced at that until you realised she deserved the bloody shower every once in a while.
"What about the lord of the house?"
"The Snake doesn't come down here."
Wait.
He abducted all of these girls for his own personal fight club only to not participate at all? Not even to sit in the audience to see his problems eradicated?
That doesn't make any sense.
"He didn't come for any of them? Any at all?"
"Nope," said Yuki, your other Japanese compatriot. She's been down there for the past seven years and could not recall at least one time he showed up. "Not one of them."
That same night, the call for a fight came through. The gong was hit, ringing deep in your ear drums, stopping you mid-training session.
This one had your name on it.
"Crimson Rose," called out the guard, looking for you in the crowd.
Of course they don't use real names in here.
You walked out from between the girls, dirty velvet rolling out behind your heeled steps. Chin help up high, arms crossed and jaw tightened to an angle that could cut, you gave him your most confident front. Deep inside, that courageous front was replaced for eating the walls trying to find an escape route out of this hellhole.
The guard walked down to you, stopping short of a few steps. He had a patch over his nose. It was the guard you head banged into a few days ago.
His eyes raked your body top to bottom, enjoyment disgustingly visible on his face at every curve he stopped at, only pausing his shameless perusal to look at your face. He must've read the fake façade you put up in your eyes, lips turning up with a devilish smirk.
"You're overdue for a welcome fight, rosy."
It's been a week since the night you disappeared. A week he wanted to throw to oblivion like that would just so happen to bring you right back. If only it was that easy to get you back.
Over the past few days, he's grown restless, much more than he used to be. Every word uttered the wrong way, any gaze focused on him for too long, the very sound of footsteps rolling down the hallways. All of these had him bust a nerve that never stopped ticking since he woke up that night in the middle of the woods and you were nowhere to be found.
Wherever he sat down, his eyes closed automatically. Tired didn't even begin to describe how he felt. But no matter how exhausted he was, he couldn't give into it at all. He would go into his room for a quick shower then return back to the office. Any accidental glances falling on his neatly made bed made him take a tempting step towards it only to turn for the door just as fast, like the very thought of sleeping in some semblance of comfort disgusted him. His body begged for overdue rest but he refused it time and time again. It wasn't the time to rest. Not until he found you or at the very least heard of your whereabouts, but so far he had nothing. No leads, no tracks to follow up on. Absolutely fucking nothing.
He's been up even at night searching for any word of you, the rest of the missing artillery, accidental sightings of your parents. It was all a never-ending circle of things to search for that never ceased from piling up on his desk or in his head, and he came to understand there was a second thing he hated the most in the world, beside people fretting over him. His office. This room held him mostly at his worst and he was sick of it. So sick he just jumped out of his seat with a long sigh, setting out on a walk.
Anywhere but here will do, he thought, pushing the doors behind him closed in hopes everything else that's been storming up his nerves for the past week would remain inside those doors if he shut them tight enough.
The sun brimmed bright down the hallway. A small breeze found her way inside through the open curtain, whistling it open like the veil on the prow of a boat. Light warmth drenched the air of midday, notes of the first blooms of camellias hanging sweet on the breeze.
December turned to January in the past week but the weather was so bright and pleasingly warm it was hard to tell the cold season was even present at all. As if winter skipped it's turn and let spring take it away just for this once. The ice still hugged the roads stubbornly in the crisp of morning and the scent of snow hung deeper in the night air, but no snow fell from the sky. Not even on a sudden hailing or with the gust of a storm.
That first fall of snow refused to come. He was sort of thankful for its delay. Not that it would hinder his plans or anything. His reason for it... was stupid really. He didn't want to catch the first snowfall without you.
He wasn't an idiot. He knew the meaning behind catching the first fall of snow with someone, especially if you had feelings for them. But above that foolish meaning, he knew how much you would have loved to see it.
That lone, brief thought of you basking in the white glow of a snowflake flurry brought his steps right in front of your room. Busy putting all his manpower in motion to find you, he was mostly cooped up in that office he dreaded so much. That and he couldn't find it in him to go inside your room and not see you there, either stitching up something or being cooped up in your bed with Koru with a soft smile on your face. Thinking of the feline, he realised that even she disappeared without a trace, somewhere in the depths of the mansion, probably looking for you.
His hand reached out for the door handle on a whim only to stop midair.
She's not in there, his mind echoed.
Squeezing his eyes shut, his hand fell flat on the wooden door, and he let out a shaky breath. Even if you weren't in there, so many things of yours were. Pushing open the double doors, he took a wary step in your room to convince himself of the emptiness in the space.
One look around and the eerie silence got drowned in a deep chuckle.
Everything was a mess. Just the way you liked it. Pieces of cut up and unrolled material were still strewn over the work station you made for yourself in the corner, some falling over the chair like you were still working on stuff. Clothes were thrown every which way on hangers falling from the sides of your wardrobe and laying in front of it on the floor. He couldn't even tell where the laundry began and where it ended.
A chilly gust of wind blew in prompting him to turn for the window. It was cracked open. It didn't pass through his mind to check it before. You probably left it open to change the stuffy air in the room until you were out on mission. Moving to close it, he noticed the wooden pane was ajar, just a crack wide enough to lay your bedding out for some fresh air.
That's when it hit him harder - this was so domestic. Laying your bedding out. Cooking in the kitchen. Even simply just walking the hallways in a worn out shirt of yours. Like you've always lived here and this was the daily custom for as long as ever.
He grabbed your bedding, dusting it off the leaves and twigs that blew in from outside before he pulled the dirty covers off, throwing them in the corner for laundry, changing them for new ones. Then he folded them neatly, patting them down, moving to place them on your bed when he paused. On top of the white sheet lay a book he hasn't seen in a long time. Placing your bedding down in a corner, he leaned over and reached for it.
Wuthering Heights? his eyes widened at the title. Wasn't this in the library?
He turned it over on the side, surprised to see loads of paper edges hanging messily, stacked inside between the pages. Your writing peaked out on the sides of a few. He debated on whether he should open it and read some of them or not. It seemed almost too personal to even be holding it as if his hands would taint it and deem it unreadable for you.
Unbeknownst to anyone, he was an avid reader. He read all of the books in his library four, if not even five times. At times to just pass the time, to do research, to learn more about people and what drove them, maybe even to catch some surprising truths about himself. But out of his whole collection, this book was the hardest read he's ever come across. And he's read heavy shit like political thrillers and war tactic books. But this one, as poetic and straightforward of a novel it was, it remained a mystery to him and no matter how many times he's read it, tried to dissect it and understand it, he never could. This book was one of the biggest enigmas he couldn't solve.
In the end, curiosity got the best of him. He sat down on the edge of your bed and opened the book, flipping through it until he landed on the page where the last paper note hung loosely, nearly slipping out. Even the writing on it looked rushed, possibly written in a haste. It was near the middle and it looked like the last annotated note in the book.
She never got to finish it.
That thought alone angered him. Then he started reading the page and his mood instantly turned from sour to amusing.
The last quote underlined was Heathcliff's, mid-rage match with Catherine. The corner of his mouth upturned at the familiarity of the scene, happening between the two of you for the entirety of the previous week. Constant back and forth, making each other try to fall for one another but failing miserably to communicate like normal human beings. Taking a step forward with you only to fall three more behind.
His eyes fell on the quote above the note that was stuck in the middle of the spread.
"I have not broken your heart- you have broken it; and in breaking it, you have broken mine."
The quote was highlighted angrily, black pencil running all around the quote like it swallowed it whole, a total contrast to the other pages his fingers skimmed across. His eyes fell on the note below it and his breath caught in his throat, pulse thudding in his ears like a drum.
I broke your heart? You broke it first. You played with me the way you wanted. You chased me down like I was an animal to be hunted. You're no better than them. The government, the Triads, Battosai. Name the devils we've been battling for so long and they're all just like you. But you're worse. Because as much as I want to hate you and wish you hell worse than the one you've been living in, for everything you did and said to me, for lying to me... I can't bring myself to do that. My heart doesn't let me. It beats for you and only you and I can't drown that annoying rhythm out of my head every time I see you. It just gets louder when you look at me with so many emotions I can't understand. When you hold my hand so gently before every mission. When you take care of me even after I push you away. When you're being you. Good or evil, selfish or caring, angering me to the world's end or catching my world when it comes crashing down. She's addicted to you wholly. To every part of you. I can't even wish for that beating to cease, even if at times I wanted it to with my whole being, because I know it would hurt you. And I can't bear seeing you in any kind of pain. That is how you broke my heart. You know whay the funny thing is? That you're what I've been running from my entire life. You're everything I loathe the most in the world. And yet, despite all this, you're all I want at the same time. This... is how I broke mine.
A shaky breath he's been holding in since he read the very first word finally left him. All he could feel was pain. Pain unlike any other he's ever experienced, flooding his heart like a poison arrow that just about missed the most vital point but embedded deep enough to spread its venom like burning embers kindled to burn inside of his chest.
That note was something he was never meant to find. Addressed to him, through and through, but not to be discovered like this, in a book he couldn't understand. Because now, as his eyes darted over the words again and again at breakneck speed, he felt guilty. Guiltier than the weight of all the people he's ever sent to the afterlife with the edge of his blade could ever make him feel. This was a different type of guilt - the kind that made him feel like he was suffocating upon breathing just fine.
Having absorbed the words like a second skin, the note fell from his hand, falling right on the pages he found it stuck between. At once, he shut the book closed.
He's never looked at it in this way but having read what you've left for secret keepsake, what should've never ended up in his hands, he was nothing less than scared. That gut-wrenching fear that leapt at him whenever Tomoe decided to haunt him and laugh in his face at his idiocy, now unleashed at just the mere thought of you, way stronger and crippling than he's ever felt it course through him.
Feeling like he was intruding way too much, he placed the book back on your bed like simply touching it seared the skin of his palms. He checked the bedding once more and turned for the door. Then he paused.
Turning back to the scope of your room he glanced at it again. Contrary to the joke his mind played on him before he entered, you were here.
In every corner of the room where a part of you lingered like you just touched it. Not just in the room but even outside of it, as far as the rest of the mansion spread. In every tile of the kitchen where your feet padded tirelessly to cook up some new recipe you heard Wu talk about. In the hallways, floorboards creaking under your feet as you gazed at that favorite painting of yours that started becoming his favorite too. In his office, where you fell asleep more comfortably and cozily than in the warmth and comfort of your own bed. Outside in the garden, where you trained restlessly or down in the armory where you spent time studying weapons and learning more about them. Even in his room where he tricked you into using his shower, his mirror, his towels, his clothes, his bed.
You were everywhere.
And he realized there was one more spot you edged your way in, way before you even stepped foot on the premises of this house. A place that was so full of life despite him thinking it was as dead as the crunched leaves on the ground.
A place that beat wild, calm, out of control, ragged, steady, rumbled, bled.
A place that was so full of you he could never get you out unless he gave himself over to the hands of death like it would take him if he had a different reason this time around. But even then, when he stopped breathing and his blood ran cold, you would still be in there, keeping the walls of it together.
All his life, he's built his inner defences map by map, wreathing sharp blades around his heart like the ones on the walls in the office, in the shape of a crown that could somehow guard the last piece of humanity he had left after Tomoe died. He fought with his all to protect it, turned against anyone who tried to get too close, marred everyone he didn't want to lose before he got too attached. He did all this only for all those defences to uncover one by one and fall down at your feet the minute you stepped into his life.
You came in like a storm unlike the ones already on his shore, rumbling wild with promise of disaster, reaching out through cracks he didn't even realise were left wide open. He was so wrong about you being a tempest that would stop at nothing to destroy him. You did the complete opposite of it, saving that piece of him rather than killing it when he gave you every reason to because there, in your kind and gentle hands that have seen so much evil but did so much more good in return, that locked up humanity of his was set free. In the palm of your hands, he felt alive again.
Because his heart was yours. Every little part of it.
And he hated that it wasn't his own heart that broke that night instead of yours.
Thank you for reading :)
#addicting taste#enishi yukishiro#rurouni kenshin#enishi yukishiro x reader#enishi yukishiro x you#enishi yukishiro fanfiction
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Reigen definitely has a lactation kink and will gladly suck on his wife's boobs to relieve some of the pressure (he pretends he just does it for practical reasons but his massive boner says otherwise)
˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ reigen arataka x fem!reader. cw: 18+ !!! lactation kink
ʚ。゚☁︎。ɞ。 YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ahem-
"Honey," The pet name is candied but your voice is pained when you call for him, "Can you- Can you help me out?"
Reigen expects it's time for him to take over, distract the little Shigeo long enough for you to get some rest so forgive him for looking a little perplexed, eyes blinking blankly with his mouth only slightly ajar, when the only thing he sees in your hand is the breast pump. And doing a shoddy job, given the grimace on your lips and blotches of inflamed skin it has left in its wake.
"This thing isn't working and I'm kind of losing my mind here." You're losing steam the more you speak, a consequence of being frustrated and tired. You know there isn't any shame in what you are about to ask but you still have to well up the courage behind tightly pressed lips before asking softly, "Can you help me? I think... I think there's a blockage."
Oh. Oh.
Well, he certainly can't say he's never thought about it. Because in actuality, he's thought about it a lot.
You wouldn't blame him though, would you? You've always been irresistible to him and he never doubted that would go away but he also wasn't counting on his libido skyrocketing this much.
"Of course. I'll take care of you." The warmth in his eyes makes your heart thrum with relief but also intrigue; your nipples pebble with excitement and though it aches, your body is barely able to contain your enthusiasm as Reigen draws close.
It starts with a massage, Reigen's smooth digits drawing little gasps of pleasure from you but it just isn't enough. "F-Feels a little better but it's still..."
"I know, I know- hold on, okay? I'm gonna try sucking the clog out... I read that it helps." He speaks so tenderly to you, giving you room to breathe and agree before he moves in, finally filling his mouth with your supple tit and sucking. It's not an unfamiliar sensation but the act feels far more intimate than anything you've ever done together. And you can't deny that watching him suck on your tit from above, hand still cupped around your breast for support, is turning you on.
Reigen feels his vision splitting, eyelashes fluttering together when your hand finds a resting place over the crown of his head. A muffled groan comes afterwards when your other hand just so happens to brush along the growing bulge in his pants. God, he loves you so much. He'll do anything for you.
And as you start to wrangle with his bottoms, he smiles around your swollen areola because he knows, you'll do anything for him too.
#reigen smut#reigen arataka smut#reigen x reader#reigen x you#reigen arataka x you#reigen arataka x reader#.˚₊ ੈ ʚ 📮 ɞ ˚₊ ‧ˋ*⁀➷ ꒰ mail time! ꒱#.˚₊ ੈ ʚ 💌 ɞ ˚₊ ‧ˋ⁀➷ ꒰ love letters to reigen! ꒱
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Hiyaaa~~~ 🎋
I’m Alex or Ly.
I go by any pronouns.
This acc is 18+. Even if its just to focus on a kny AU, it will contain smut or suggestive drawings.
I’m a digital artist and an inexperienced writer(for fun!)
KNY only! Not spoiler free!
STATUS: HOLD
Rot Hashira is an AU made by myself, I am just one person working on this au so content might be slow.
This is just a resumed version, there’s so much more to the story and lore of this au which will be told with art pieces. Plz be patient 🎋🪷
The AU takes place right after Tanjiro Kamado(Sun Hashira defeat Muzan with the help of the kamaboko squad, which are Hashira aswell(I would like to mention that NONE of them are minors, they’re all adults in this au).
Once Kamado defeated Muzan, the ghost of Yorichii appears before Tanjiro and only he can see him. Yorichii shows Kamado a vision of the future, that this war was not finish but it could be if he takes action right here and now. Kamado thinks he is ready for his last task but only if he knew…
Yorichii’s ghost guided the young hashira to the place of his mission leaving the others behind to rest, the hashira comes to a stop in front of a deserted cabin not so far from the battle field he just been in. Once Kamado realized that his final enemy lies behind this door, he took a deep breath in to prepare his lungs since this enemy won’t run away and its unlike anyone he has faced before…
An infant rested in the cabin, in a well clean wooden crib. A baby girl to be exact, dark long hair, tiny, sharp nails and ruby red eyes with a slit in the middle similar to the ones of a cat’s pupils. “Its just an infant… its just a girl… what sort of image and threat does she poised that I cannot avoid?…” Kamado looked at the infant in awe as Yorichii’s ghost stand beside the crib leaning over it “This is non other the offspring of the demon king, Muzan. Know that she’ll grow from a girl to an avenger, one fueled with vengeance once come of age… if you don’t end it now you wont have no one to save.. you can say goodbye to Nezuko, your friends… your family..”
Kamado quickly dropped his blade and took the infant on his arms to comfort her “I can raise it as my own! I’ll take her far from home! I’ll make sure her past is never known! Please I’m on my knees for you!” The sun hashira begged on his knees to Yorichii’s ghost who looked down at him in disappointment.
“Please dont make me do this Yorichii! Please there has to be another way, please guide me!” Kamado yelled with tears in his eyes, he could only picture his younger siblings in this infant… he just couldn’t..
“Young Kamado… I apologize. It seemed I’ve chosen the wrong soul for the task.” Those wore Yorichii’s last words before vanishing, leaving the sun hashira alone with the infant.
Kamado decided it was best to escape from everyone and everything he knew. He took the infant and ran, ran till his legs failed him, till his lungs ached in pain, far… please so far..
Kamado’s heart ached at the fact he had to leave his friends and famiky behind with out a goodbye. He left behind the Rengoku family, the man who adopted him and his sister, who gave him a family to call his. The love of his life, Kanao… even tho she kept rejecting him, he loved her with everything he got. His best friends, Zenitsu and Inosuke, brothers at this point, he couldn’t congrats him on his 3rd happy marriage. The reason he even became a demon slayer, Nezuko… he hated he couldn’t tell her anything or even leave her a letter, he hated he couldn’t congratulate her on her second child with her new husband Muichiro…
Tanjiro took the infant far, so far, a journey that took him a month to reach to. He took her to a mountain house he bought, the house was very similar to the one he lived when he was a child. He decided to call the infant “Hina” which meant sun or bright! She was his sun, Hina gave him the opportunity to live a tamed lifestyle he craved, he loved Hina like if she was his.
Years passed and Hina grew up like a well taken care of Framboyán tree. You couldn’t even guess she was the daughter of such cruel man like Muzan, she was a kind soul thanks to her father, Tanjiro. Kamado was luckily abled to give her an animal based diet like him and since they were a small family, they had lotz of time together so he taught her sun breathing, the fire dance his father passed down to him and he passed down his ear rings to her.
Years passed and they lived happily together until one night… a young looking hashira found them. The hashira had a white haori and bells decorated his sandal’s back, he had long pointy fox ears which were pierced with bells and red ribbons, he also had a fox tail… he was a demon? A demon as a hashira? Who?…
Kamado’s heart raced knowing exactly why he was here, kamado reached to a certain age where his skills were now failing him so he couldn’t do much but that didn’t brought him down, he will protect his daughter.
The demon hashira paused dropping his figthing stance “Tanjiro?…” the hashira let out with a curios tone. “Tanjiro is that really you? Its me! Sabito! We used to be partners in the demon slayer corp!” Sabito let out rushing closer to him, he circled him to inspect him from head to toe. “Look at you! You’re not so bad for an old man!” Sabito let out with a friendly chuckle until he took a good sniff.
“Tanjiro, you smell… different.”
//skipping catching up details
The fox friend could sniff a smell, it wasn’t putrid or terrible like demons commonly have… in the contrary, it was a scent of vanilla, he didn’t knew how to put it but it was a tamed smell… so comforting and relaxing but it had a strong hint of power, the smoke before the forest fire…
Sabito stepped in between Tanjiro and his house in a defensive posture to protect his old friend. A young lady walked out the door, her face expressed concern for her Tanjiro, her irises glow a ruby red just like Muzan’s and this shocked Sabito. Sabito’s hands trembled around his blade’s handle as a soft growl sneaked up his throat “I thought we killed you! You’re like a fucking plague!” The river kitsune spit with venom.
Tanjiro quickly stepped in between them to ease Sabito, Sabito didn’t backed down realizing that Tanjiro was defending this beautiful young woman who was clearly a demon, Muzan. Tanjiro was now considered as an enemy, betrayal... both of them broke into a fight to the death, Tanjiro had the advantage with his sun breathing technique but before he could slash Sabito’s neck he had flashbacks of their friendship so Kamado redirected his blade away from his throat, slashing some hair off Sabito. Sabito took this as an open door and used his demon blood art to leave a serious deep injury on Tanjiro’s chest with heavy pressured water.
Hina saw it all, she rushed to her father aid in terror, she cover him trying to protect him as her tears rushed in. Tanjiro made sure to comfort her in his last moments… “please… promise me you won’t eat human flesh… never.” Hina nodded in confusion as she cried hysterically begging Tanjiro to stay with her as Sabito was shocked seeing a demon with Muzan’s blood pump in their veins protecting a human.
Once Tanjiro’s hand became weak, Hina was fueled with anger and vengeance, Hina aimed her hand to Sabito as her arm’s veins were turning blood red, her nails becoming longer as her mouth drooled. Sabito’s eyes widen as he felt his internal organs moving, his blood was moving to places it shouldn’t, his body didn’t respond to him, this body wasn’t his anymore… blood rushed up his throat, every exit in his body was leaking a concerning amount of blood as his veins pop through his flesh.
Tanjiro reunited enough strength to hold her arm, this made her drop everything she was doing and attend her dying father, her focus was on only him. “Please don’t… I-I’ll wait for you Hina… I’ll always be with you…” Kamado dropped his hand as he took his final breath in Hina’s arms, Hina cradled her hold man’s corpse, her cries filled the forest and Sabito was no where to be found.
“Hashiras huh?…” the voice of a man was herd in the darkness of the forest. Two glowing orbs appeared, rainbow colored that coexisted just right in his irises.. a demon.
“What do you want?.” Hina growled as she just finished her father’s grave.
“I want to help you… princess…” The white kitsune grinned extending his arm to her.
Credits:
Teeth Divider: @//mmadeinheavenn
Art: @//rottencoreflesh101
Story inspiration:
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Transformers Scrapyard: Night-In
A meet the cast sort of thing
Kip was sitting on Optimus’ leg, looking up as the first star blinked into sight as the sun lowered, dipping down over the horizon. Dusk settled slowly, night encroaching, creeping forth with its blanket of darkness and starlight. She’d have to go home soon, or her mom would worry. But for right now, she’d stay, petting the Raccoon that laid in her lap.
Optimus was careful to hold the books that Kip had brought from the library, his digits so much bigger than the literature he was reading. The words were almost too small for him to properly make out, but his one optic that wasn’t flickering was able to make them out. Reading, it was one of the few things that he could do without being in unbearable pain anymore. The crater that had been shot into his chest made sure of that. The faint glow of the Matrix was visible, just barely covered by the melted metal that had cooled and congealed and fused together, blue light emitting from the hole.
Ted was doing what he did best. Car stuff. Taking apart the engine of one of the scrap cars in the yard with almost surgical-like precision. Ironhide was tasked with flashing the light under the hood so Ted could see what he was doing. Ironhide made a couple of less than pleased noises as he looked upon Ted’s work. As he watched Ted pull the pistons out of the truck’s engine, he looked away, casting his flashlight elsewhere. “Light.” Ted spoke the one word command. Ted was never a man of many words.
“You can't blame me for being squeamish. Ain’t a pretty sight for a bot.” Ironhide tried to plead his case to the human. Ted looked at him for a moment, but relented.
“Robin!” Ted called out, earning an exasperated groan from the teenager from the rooftop of the trailer. Robin and Brainstorm were doing… something with pieces of the crashed ship, energon, and fireworks. Ted furrowed his brow. He’d lecture Brainstorm on the importance of not blowing up his trailer later.
“Why can’t someone else do it? Me and Brainstorm are doing something important.” Robin rebutted, but Ted just looked back at her with that same expression he always had.
“Admittedly, I do not require your assistance with this particular project.” Brainstorm loosened another bolt on the piece of the control panel that they had found, getting access to the insides. He could refashion the internal positioning system into a tracker, and that would get them one step closer to finding the Allspark.
“Fine.” Robin drawed out the word, before carefully descending from the rooftop, and joining Ted. She pulled out a flashlight from her hoodie pocket, and pointed it towards the engine. The light bulb shined its radiance onto the metal, and Ted continued his work. Ironhide would’ve heaved a sigh of relief if he had lungs.
Near the back porch, Finley flipped another piece of fish, turning the raw side down onto the heated bars of the grill, listening to the sharp hiss that emitted from it. Pretty much anything and everything about fish was something that he loved. Fishing, studying them, eating them. Right now, he is cooking them. He and Seaspray spent a long while out in the sea that morning, one of the benefits of being in a coastal town. He didn’t need to spend anything to get fresh fish. Bumblebee was seated nearby, watching intently.
“So, why do you have to make it hot first? Why not just eat it as is?”
“To make it taste better. Though, there are a few types of fish that don’t need to be cooked.”
“What types of fish?”
“Well- ow!” In Finley’s distraction, his hand had drifted over and his wrist grazed against a piece of hot metal on the grill. He held his wrist, looking at the small burn that had already begun to form on his dark skin. “Yikes.” He muttered, shaking his head. “Can you make sure that the food doesn’t burn? I’m gonna head inside and look for a band-aid.” Finley looked up at the giant robot.
“Yeah, no Problem!” Bumblebee assured, giving a thumbs up to the marine biologist. Finley thanked him, and headed inside, the door shutting behind him. Bumblebee looked at the grill.
Wait, how would he know if it was done or not. Well, Finley had said that cooked fish tasted good, so… He picked up one of the filets of the fish from the grill, and promptly ate it. He processed the flavor for a moment. Another problem arises from this, another question. Was it supposed to taste like that? Bumblebee had only ever consumed energon, oil, and the occasional human snack before. And cheesecake, he did eat cheesecake that one time. Sure, it tasted good to him, but what if he was simply inexperienced in fish tasting? So, he waits, unsure of what else to do.
“Hey Bumblebee!” Kip spoke, getting up and off of Optimus Prime, walking over to the yellow Autobot.
“What’s up, little buddy?” Bumblebee smiled, his attention completely off of the fish that was currently burning behind him, strolling towards her, meeting her half way.
“I have to go home. Can you drive me?” Kip tilted her head to the side, her one remaining eye blinking. “Oh, uh, can you please drive me?” She corrected her manners.
“Yeah, I can deliver you back to your abode!” Bumblebee ruffled her short black hair with a single digit, before swiftly transforming into his alt mode. A yellow Volkswagen Beetle, with black on the hood of the car.
Robin punched Ted in the shoulder. “Punch buggy yellow!” She called out, though maybe she had put a bit too much force in her punch, as Ted staggered and hit the pole that was holding up the hood of the truck, and it collapsed onto him, covering his upper body up to his elbows. This earned a short yell from the mechanic. He flailed, trying to lift the piece of metal off of his head and back. “Sorry! Sorry sorry sorry!” Robin lifted the hood, allowing Ted to stand once more, who shot a short, annoyed glare at Robin.
“Finley!” Ted yelled out, looking back towards the grill. He saw no Finley, but he did see something else. He gasped, eyes widening as he saw the fire that had grown and used the charcoal-black burnt fish as fuel for the flames. It was steadily and rapidly consuming the grill. “FINLEY! THE GRILL!”
“Dang, I really wanted to eat that fish.” Robin muttered nonchalantly as she looked at the flames.
Kip gradually inched towards Bumblebee as Ted rushed towards the grill, yelling profanities as he tried to put out the flames by any means possible. “Should we uh… Bail?” Kip muttered, looking back at Bumblebee, who was still in his alt mode.
“Oh, yeah, definitely.” Bumblebee responded, opening his passenger door, allowing the girl to crawl in. She buckled up as Bumblebee drove off from the scene of his crime.
#my dumb ocs#transformers#transformers scrapyard#optimus prime#bumblebee#brainstorm#seaspray#ironhide
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what are your thoughts on tracing ? because im fairly new to digital art and i’ve been trying to draw this truck forever now and i cant !! but i cant help but feel that if if i trace its cheating ?? but like also fuck that because art is art but some people can be really mean about it.
I’ll be really transparent with you here and you might not like my answer for that fact.
Firstly, as a beginner (I’ll circle back to this later in my answer) you do whatever you need to do in order to get comfortable with your style and learn. Trace the truck, trace whatever you need to and evolve and adapt as you go, I’m rooting for you newbie.
To answer on a greater scope, I’m very much of the mindset that this place is a stupid little ‘community’ for us to all enjoy no matter what you like or do or don’t do, or to what level. No piece of art created within this fandom space is up for exhibition in the Tate, none of it is up for marking or comparison, etc and should be created however you want to create it. Nothing here is that deep at the end of the day and every single one of us should be here to enjoy the same fictional characters no matter what.
All this being said I will be honest and say, I know for fact one or two artists here trace and make out it’s ‘100% their own’ and some of this stuff is so painfully obvious it’s traced, it makes me wildly confused when the hoards of ‘talent’ comments pour through. I hate this part of me that twists in annoyance because the other half up there ^ wants to throat punch me for it. What pains me about it, I think, is when people will claim one thing to be true when it’s not. They don’t have to make a big show out of it or how/where their materials are coming from, I’m not asking for a dedicated paragraph every time with cited sources and images, just be a bit more honest and transparent about where your shit’s coming from. If that’s AI, amazing, just don’t pass it off as your own. If that’s tracing, nothing wrong with that, just don’t churn out piece after agonising piece and say “I only use references” when it’s eye-wateringly clear that’s not the case. If I see it, I won’t be mean about it, just suffer in silence. And if the topic comes up amongst people I trust I’ll pass my opinion between those safe walls, as I don’t advocate for unwarranted, uninvited public criticism.
I don’t want to discourage anybody from learning to draw digitally through tracing because we all start somewhere. I’m pretty certain I had a sketchbook in the womb with me and have drawn humans/bodies/animals/basically living forms for a long time, but anything else like trees, buildings, furniture, scenery (this fucking car I’m trying to draw for the next piece) I suck at and absolutely despise doing. It bores me, but as a personal choice I won’t turn to tracing because I want my art to be consistent (-ly shit) over suddenly perfect. I don’t think I’m superior for making that choice and am not saying you suck for wanting to trace because honestly, I am constantly oscillating between ‘it ain’t that serious’ and ‘I just wish people would be more honest’.
I’m still going bet you regret fucking asking! Basically I’ll never be a dick about it if I see it or someone tells me, ‘hey I trace!’ Because good for you, give us the good shit, give us the characters and pairings we want in that form and I’ll eat it up just like the rest of us because we’re starved. But yeah, food for future thought maybe.
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Today was good! I’m a little overwhelmed!
3:30 am posting because I’m feeling slightly wound thanks to today being a whole day, but it wasn’t a bad day?
Short version: bunch of appointments, thankfully all online, but after last week being stress central this was tolerable. I got my MMJ eval and it was quick and easy and if anything I over prepared because I’m so used to not being believed and having to back myself up with data. (Which I have to gather and keep for myself because medicine is apparently just a free for all where no one communicates with each other through the online app they have specifically so they can all access data about me from each other! Neat!)
Anyway that was a major relief and I was ready to cry because they said that this should work really well with the conditions and symptoms I have. I’ll probably write something up on the process later (because I would’ve liked a plain English walkthrough of what to expect but that’s ok) but I got my card from the state, which is all digital now, so welcome to the future, I guess.
We headed out to a pretty well reviewed and priced medical dispensary in the area and had a long info session on what would work best for me and landed on some low dose (for now) capsules and gummies. Then we got fried chicken because I’d had enough for one day and went home to see if it would work.
I took a capsule, ate my chicken, and waited. They did advise taking it with a fatty food (could’ve been peanut butter or avocado or anything really; we just got chicken for its uh, health…improving….properties….yeah that sounds right) It took like a solid hour and change to notice anything, and the effects were pretty minor.
I kept trying to explain what was happening to Delade but it was a very subtle thing and hard to get across. Basically the calmest I’ve felt in ages (bonus) and like a slight tiredness, like when you’re tired at the end of the day but not exhausted or like drugged tired if you take something to get to sleep and it hits hard. Just a nice soft calm feeling.
I got brave and tried adding in an extra half a gummy (watermelon flavor!) and that hit much more quickly and mostly just added to the soft feeling. Trying to put it in better words, it was like the different between laying directly on the hard floor, or laying on a puffy blanket on the floor. You can still feel the floor, but it’s much more comfortable than otherwise. I didn’t really feel particularly loopy other than finding a few things funnier than they probably actually were. I think I would compare it in drowsiness more to like…if you’ve been given an opioid after surgery or dental work or something, it’s kind of more like that than feeling just knocked right out. I always felt like these kinds of things gave me a sort of “cozy,” safe feeling while still being conscious enough to do some light things, and this was similar. Everybody’s different though so I might be a weirdo.
So yeah, it does work! I wasn’t expecting like a 100% change in pain levels, and this will definitely take some fine tuning to get right, but there was a difference for sure. I had the makings of a nasty headache after being stressed out all afternoon, which didn’t seem affected much by anything I took so that’s interesting. If I hadn’t had the headache I probably would have attempted some comic work but staring directly into a screen felt like a bad idea. In any case the sharp edges of the pain in the rest of my body got filed way down and I’m pretty amazed overall.
I know this can work now! So I can try again tomorrow! Hopefully with less stress headache so I can get a better gauge on how it actually feels! And hopefully try to draw.
So now I just have to figure out how not to feel weird about this talking to various doctors. Some recommended it, some I can imagine being less positive, but I think the anxiety about being judged is mostly in my head.
Anyway! It was a good experience overall, both the process for getting the card and actually trying the drug itself. If it’s something you’ve been looking into and have questions I can try and answer based on my (admittedly brief) experience so far. I only know how things work in NY, but being pretty anxious I get how it can feel more enormous to figure out when you don’t know the whole scope of a thing or what it’s like to actually do.
This entire thing makes me cackle btw because in fifth grade I won some DARE essay contest in school and I think got some kind of gift card I spent on art supplies, and a hat with the DARE lion mascot thing on it, which I think I still have and should probably start wearing for maximum dumbassery.
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yayayay yippee (≧◡≦) i love how vibrant & lively your art is, i think my fav pieces are Horse Surgery & hanyuu (even tho i have no idea who that is) but that one wip with the rainbow is also v ery special 2me because it reminds me of my fav kind of weather ^_^ generic Which Program Do You Use question & also which programs have you tried so far? which one would you recommend for someone whose only experience so far wiht digital art has been scribbling in ms paint -_-? on topic, what do you draw with (mouse, phone, drawing tablet, ??) & was it easy for you to get used to digital art? i always get overwhelmed by the amound of different functions available so im not sure where to even start, any advice? which physical art forms do you like / would you like to learn (anything at all, i personally have been getting into air dry clay... well actually ive been using my sisters playdoh but maybe ill purchase smthn fancier :3) & final question how do you come up with poses to draw? your characters (+creatures) seem very animated and i really like that :)
HI okay i guess ill answer these in a list. actually will put it under the cut since i ended up saying a lot (and dw i enjoy being able to talk a lot so thank you!)
-THANK YOU im glad some of my more recent works (in my more current style) are appealing 2 people! like i wanna draw my own way even though i think it gets less notes... the higurashi fanarts (hanyuu and shion) r very memorable pieces to me because its when i started doing the loose sketches with the thin lines and block colors and thats the direction i reallyreally wanted to take my style in. also the rainbow is rian my friend rian
-i draw in paint tool sai! the only program i used before that was sketchbook pro, which i didnt like because the brushes were kind of... blurry/smudgy? sai allows you to zoom in and draw pixel by pixel which is something i like, and i like the way it does its blending. its also just easier for me to understand. i didnt pay for it i think i found some deviantart page that had the link, id have to find it again
-i draw with a wacom intuos tablet! its lasted me... almost 10 years now. ive heard newer ones are poorer quality in terms of at least the nibs needing to be replaced constantly, so idk what the most recommended tablet these days is. ive drawn with my mouse and tbh it caused awful hand pain so i would not recommend this. i draw on my phone with my finger sometimes but i find doing it on my laptop easier, however it is doable once you get used to it
-the way i got into digital art... well. i still have an archive of my earliest art if you wanna see! i was 14 n just drew random shit, often lining over doodles i did on paper and coloring them in. i think esp if youre overwhelmed start with making like throwaway experimental pieces, scribble around, doodle stupid things and color them in with different brushes and see what you enjoy. and then you can just keep the files to yourself if they dont look too good or maybe itll look interesting, it depends i guess haha. the other thing that ive always found helped me was telling myself id draw every day even if it was a little scribble or the tiniest amount of work on a wip bc getting a habit going helped my art a Lot beause it helped me spend more time thinking n focusing on it
more specific advice for sai that i found useful- using clipping groups & the preserve opacity functions are both lifesavers in terms of not spending so much time trying to color in the lines. if you color in a base layer you can just put everything above it as a clipping group and just not worry about it anymore. i also really like using the filters (like multiply) to mess around with the colors a drawing has, though sometimes its more effective to just select a layer/individual color and fuck with the hue/saturation/etc until it looks good. when i color, esp when its not turning out how i wanted to, i rely on shifting colors A LOT. n also mixing colors together using a blending brush and then colorpicking the intermediate color. very useful
-for the most part i stick to uncolored pencil doodles on like, notebook paper (even though i have some fancy supplies X[ one day) but i LOVE making things with clay, wish it was more accessible to do at home. i have a handful of clay animal statues and stuff that i made in my ceramics class in high school. would looove to do more
-because my poses tend to be very pushed/cartoony using references of real people isnt always useful (though obv knowing the basics of anatomy always helps) so in those cases ill use other cartoony art i like as inspiration, i try to see what i like about their poses nd emulate that with my own. sometimes when im struggling ill just do a bunch of studies where i copy art i like to try to get a feel for what im missing. mostly ive realized i like when the pose conveys some level of like, volume and taking up a 3D space (which im still definitely not a master of but bullshitting it can be fun). and i also like to have a balance of curved and angular shapes. sometimes i try to just do a pose that conveys a specific emotion or i just make shit up lol
alsooooo i cant reccomend aimless doodling enough! just random shapes, turning the random shapes into creatures, trying and trying and trying different ways to draw something until you like it, i feel like the things my hand makes when i shut my brain off and just scribble can inspire me as well, and i try to emulate whatever i made by chance while doodling. and if your doodles turn out better in traditional i tend to consider using a photo of a drawing as a way to skip the "preliminary sketch" phase nd drawing a rough sketch over that which i then use for my drawing (or just directly color since i draw very fast/lazy...)
#long answer but i wanted to give good answers to everything!!!#thank you again!!!#and i hope i helped#yayyy talking about art#ask
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This hits deep for me -- I've thought a lot about this topic for some time but I haven't had the motivation to write about it until I saw it worded so succinctly here. More and more, I worry that our culture is slipping into increasingly anti-art territory. I know, that sounds alarmist and pretentious as hell, but fuck me if it doesn't ring true in so many of my encounters with non-artists (and even with some artists!). From my perspective, the stan culture surrounding musicians, and the lack of sincerity in how people engage with them, feels like just another symptom of this general trend. It seems pervasive, seeping into everything, from fan culture to critical analysis to the mindsets of artists themselves. As noted in the original post, it really does feel like people are afraid of showing genuine passion in regard to art. Everything is now coated in layers of irony, and if one encounters a piece of art that is not, itself, ironic, that gets quickly rectified, whether that is by that individual or by community action. And it's disheartening, particularly while knowing how much genuine passion and emotion goes into art -- the life experience required to make it and especially the painful emotions or moments that we, as artists, often put into our work. I struggle often with the concept of 'death of the author' because yes, people can take art and reinterpret it or modify it, even in humorous or ironic ways, and there is validity in that... but to go through the process of taking those emotions and making art and sharing it with the world, only to see it taken by fans and stripped of its meaning and intention for fleeting entertainment and likes on social media -- it's disappointing. The echo chambers of stan culture provide a great breeding ground for this, where people bond and feel like part of an in-group thanks to the jokes, but it goes a step too far when that becomes the only type of fan culture that exists, and when it starts spilling over to the original artist; the 'Ethel Cain vinyl' requests on Palestinian aid posts really stands out because... while I am not surprised, it is jarring to see such a plain example encapsulating what is being talked about here. It's about when the art and the artist ceases to matter to them, and instead is just another thing to be consumed, boiled down to its base elements ('aesthetic' and basic jokes) and merely engaged with from a distance.
Earlier today on Twitter (ew, I know), I saw that the current film discourse is, once again, a young person who refuses to engage with films made pre-2000 for a whole host of reasons, but mainly claiming that their technical quality is bad and that they aren't as artistically precise or sincere as modern day films. Which, to any reasonable person, is an absolutely ridiculous statement. However, it once again shows a fear of sincerity and human emotion in art. I've long thought that modern films, and a lot of other artistic mediums in the modern day including music, lack a human element to an extent. With the advent of digital technology and our ability to make pretty much anything we want, often for relatively cheap, most artists (and especially most companies) have decided that the way you're 'supposed' to make art is to file away all the edges; make it as clean and shiny and polished as possible, without any hint (while you're experiencing the art, that is) that there was a person behind the camera, or behind the recording, or the hyperrealistic drawing you're looking at. And when there's only so many ways that a camera is supposed to move, or that a track on an album is supposed to sound, the amount of emotion that can be expressed, the emotional range of art in general, gets dampened -- and then, coupled with general capitalistic trends in the last few decades where art has been increasingly made to have less artistic individuality and more mass appeal, you suddenly get a generation of people who are only exposed to sterile, 'perfect' art, most of which were made as products in the first place, where it's designed to leave individuality in the dust while being palatable for as many people as possible. Where it's designed to be ironic, to be insincere, to be part of stan culture because that's what makes money as a product of mass culture. i think this is especially true if the only way you engage with art and 'content' in general is through social media, as many people these days do. And suddenly, thanks to all of this, older films or independent films where you can see the craftsmanship or bold artistic decision, or music where there's experimentation and rawness in the emotion behind it, become strange and unfamiliar. There seems to be discomfort for viewers now when they see imperfections and genuine passion in art; when they see humanity. 'The curtains are really just blue' and 'it's not that serious, bro' are the kind of things many people say now when you try to engage with art on a deeper level or talk about the humanity within it; not even necessarily just the authorial intention, but the artistry of the piece in general. And I think that ironic humor is potentially a defense mechanism of sorts for this, or a genuine lack of awareness where they do not realize that they can engage with art in a sincere way. That there is more than irony and meta humor and that you don't have to be distanced from what you consume (and even further -- that you do not have to 'consume' art but that it is something that can be engaged with in a variety of different ways). I could keep rambling about the other symptoms produced from this, including young adults seemingly not wanting their media to be sexually explicit or to deal with emotionally heavy and/or morally complicated topics (especially in film since that's the main space I occupy, but I see this in other artistic mediums as well) but I can stop the post here; I don't quite know the root cause of this, if there is one, but to me, all of it just kind of hits on the same beat of younger generations wanting to sterilize the art they consume and strip it of everything that makes it genuine and sincere and something actually worth engaging with on an emotional, human level.
Now, it's possible I'm totally off base and this is merely a generational thing -- modern people just like their art to be the same style as other modern art, and they like to make ironic jokes because all their other teenage friends make ironic jokes. But I really don't think that's it -- and even if it is, it sure would be nice if these people would be open minded and try engaging with some older, or more experimental, art with some sincerity for a change. I don't like to be gatekeep-y but a project like Ethel Cain does not deserve to get overtaken by an insincere fanbase.
Hello very much :)
I thought about making a video on this topic but I decided to just write it out in a post instead. Either way, I'd like to speak a bit more specifically about a drunk rant I made on a separate account the other day that was not as well put together as I'd like to stand as my viewpoints on the subject.
tl:dr, I just feel as though there's a lack of sincerity in the world these days. I speak from personal experience as an artist putting things out into the world, yes, but also as a human being interacting with other human beings on the regular, and I have had my sentiments echoed by many other friends of mine over the past year or so, both artists and non-artists alike. Most of this will be framed through the consumption of art, because that's my own personal passion in this life of mine, but also the way we interface with each other and process the world around us. Now, don't get me wrong, I love to laugh. I love a good joke, and I love lightheartedness as much as the next person. But I saw someone this morning put it very succinctly in response to my rant, something along the lines of "don't let the joke about it overtake the source material." It feels as though it's a common occurrence these days to take a pinch of something with a lot more weight to it, often a humorous bit, and then run with it. Everyone then gathers around the pinch to ooh and ahh and consume it as a whole. Context is immediately lost, the legacy of that body of work becomes its own caricature, and anyone discovering that body of work via said caricature may forgo a piece of art they would otherwise love because "there's nothing there". And don't think this is me griping at those making jokes at the expense of my art. I make jokes about my own art. But when the joke dies, yet continues to grow, and spread, and finds its way back to me both on the internet and off for months (or, God forbid, years) to come, I can't help but say to myself; what the fuck is happening. Artists have fled the public and all their outlets for personality and expression outside the medium because they feel ridiculed. It's not even just their art. Katya comes to mind, speaking on how she went on youtube live a few years back in literal tears talking about police brutality and the injustices marginalized communities were facing at the hands of the government. Meanwhile, the entire comment section "yass" and "mother"ed her in barrages, not paying attention to anything she had to say. I get asked about when I'm dropping Preacher's Daughter vinyl en masse in response to my Palestine fundraiser links. It's everywhere and it's inescapable. No one can be serious for even two seconds.
This may all sound obnoxious; so be it. I tie strings from this central problem to many other complaints I have heard repeated ad nauseam the past few years. For example; the death of subculture. Goth, punk, whatever, you name it. People who built an underground counterculture movement with a rich history based on a love of art, community, and otherwise misunderstood worldviews and experiences deemed foul or inappropriate. Now we see bits taken from it, the terms and the looks, without any of the meat, spread thin across society as a whole. Words mean nothing anymore. One can rest on history and say they were a part of it when in fact, they did nothing. No appreciation or understanding to be had for the love and passion that built it. No serious interaction with the culture's very real confines and boundaries, just mindless co-opting. This has just as much to do with late stage capitalism as it does with excessive humor in lieu of sincerity, but it's certainly both. Again, this may sound like a silly complaint, but I don't care. The collective ennui we're all experiencing has a very real reason, whether we're ready to acknowledge or not.
In a twisted thread, it's even tied to our lack of care to change the world around us. People cheer on the idea of communism, but who among us is ready to give up the convenience of society as it stands? Amazon prime, doordash, fresh fruit out of season as I saw someone mention in a similar post last week; the marvels of modern technology. Do we really think these things can last in a society that isn't actively destroying the planet? We talk about the idea of something all day long but have very little to do with the actuality of what we're talking about. And don't think I consider myself exempt from this problem. I couldn't even try to claim to be. It seems nearly silly to be complaining, then, about the way people consume the art around them these days as we creep towards what feels like the end of days. But as long as I still draw breath, I must complain.
I miss genuine passion. As an autistic individual, when I'm alone, sometimes I cannot contain myself with how things make me feel. The music I listen to, the video games I play, the books I read. I almost feel the need to run through the house and scream in everyone's face how I'm feeling. It feels good to love intensely. Now, I won't pretend like autistic people haven't been bullied for this since the dawn of time, but there is surely a noticeable lack of passion in everything these days. Everyone can feel it, everyone is talking about it. Everything now is "cringe", or "doing too much", or "not that serious". Actually, it is that serious. Insecurity in one's own deeper feelings may not be a new thing, but a culture that seems to promote this eschewing of them does seem to be a new evil. The tone of the internet has completely shifted. I spent most of my time here when I first discovered it a little over a decade ago on Zelda forums and other chat-based websites, talking about how much I loved whatever fandom I was in at the time and having genuine and memorable interactions with like-minded individuals who felt the same way I do. Now, you have two options; if you hate media, you rip it to shreds, and if you love it, you word-salad it to death and parrot a joke about it that someone else said. I'm not saying people don't still talk seriously in a heartfelt way about the things they love, but it does not seem to be the initial reaction anymore. Do I have a solution to this problem? Of course not. I'm a 26 year old girl posting on a tumblr blog. If I had a solution, this is not where I would be dropping it. But conversation is God to man, and I believe in the ability to change things from the inside out. We make the rules, and we can change them.
Before I go, I'd like to just clarify that I am very grateful for my career, grateful to anyone who has ever given me and my art the time of day, grateful to anyone who has ever come up to me and connected with me over my work, and grateful for a life where someone making too many jokes is the worst part of my day. I do not think I am better nor smarter than anyone on or off the internet. I am simply a girl with big feelings and I enjoy talking about them with other people with big feelings, and it makes me sad when something avoidable or unnecessary gets in the way of that.
All in all, I love to love, and I love all of you, I love my life, I love this record, and mi amore vo- i mean.... oh, whatever.
(Feel free to sound off in the comments and please be nice to each other)
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Zine Info and FAQ
This zine will focus on the romantic relationship between Jonathan Sims and Elias Bouchard – as monstrous, Gothic, or loving as it can be! The classic enemies to lovers, a worshipful love, voyeurism, a dark office romance… with so much to chew on, there’s a reason why it’s an enduring ship, with dedicated fans both old and new! And so, we want to celebrate the ship and bring together all those who love this alluring relationship.
The zine itself, for both participants and customers, will be for those 18 and up, due to our allowance of NSFW themes. We will be releasing the zine as a free pdf, with the possibility of at-cost physical books and merchandise.
FAQ below!
Who is running the zine? Mod Hosta joined the fandom in 2020 and has supported fandom community projects ever since his purchase of the first JonElias zine. Hosta has also been a moderator for ArCon every year since its inception! He loves all things dark, spooky, and co-dependent. Hosta is mainly a horror writer, but enjoys the schmoopy stuff, as well. He will be managing our zine's participating writers, and you can find him on AO3 and Twitter.
Mod Carrie has been in the TMA fandom for close to six years and has been obsessed with JonElias for almost as long! She is also a huge sap, which kind of goes against the whole canon-typical JE thing, but she makes it work. She also created and heads the TMA fan-convention ArchiveCon. Carrie will be overseeing our participating Artists. You can find her on Tumblr and Twitter.
What is this? This is a zine focusing on the relationship between Jon and Elias from The Magnus Archives. It will be released as a free digital copy, but if we're able to we'll release it as a physical book with possible merch.
What is the content rating? NSFW and 18+.
Do you allow dead dove content? Yes! Any dead dove content will be published as a separate, digital-only expansion to the zine, so as not to limit our ability to find an easily accessible, affordable physical print service for participant hard copies.
Is there any content that is not permitted? We will not include any content featuring underage characters or bestiality.
How do you define Dead Dove for this project? For the purpose of this project, please consider any material including extreme gore, pain, or suffering, non-con, or incest to be Dead Dove content. If you’re unsure if your idea would fall under this category or not, just ask the mods!
What types of fanworks will be included in the zine? We hope to include fiction ranging anywhere from 100-5000 words, full page art, sketchy art pages, and short comics.
What can I write about/draw? Anything you like, as long as the subject of the work is the romantic relationship between Elias Bouchard and Jon Sims.
How will the zine be delivered? The zine will be digital, including a “Dead Dove Expansion Pack,” if we have enough participants who would like to produce that type of content.
Will there be merch or physical copies? We hope so! ….But there are a few things to keep in mind:
Please note that this is not only a not-for-profit project, but a FREE project. We want this project to be as easy for participants as possible, and accessible to all members of the community, regardless of their ability to pay. This means the MAIN deliverable will be a no-cost PDF of the zine.
That said, we are lovers of physical media, especially when it comes to being able to hold our own creations in our hands. We aim to produce physical copies of the zine for participants, which will be purchased by participants, at cost. The details of this will be discussed among participants, and voted on by participants. If we find that we are able to offer an extremely limited number of copies for pre-order by non-participants, we’ll update our social media so you have the chance to order!
The same goes for merch. Depending on participant interest, we may offer small, flat merch, such as stickers, bookmarks, or small prints, for participants, at cost + shipping. If we are able to offer extras for purchase, we’ll update our social media accordingly.
I want to participate, but am concerned about the cost. Should I still apply? Absolutely! This project is, first and foremost, a no-cost labour of love. All participants will vote on options for print types and costs, and all will receive the free PDF, no matter what is ultimately decided for the print copies.
All participants will be asked to anonymously estimate how much they’d be comfortable paying for a print copy, with the option to purchase copies for participants who can’t afford to. If you are unable to pay anything, you will be able to anonymously let us know that, as well, so that a participant who has opted to purchase for others can cover you.
What if I can’t purchase a copy and there is no one who can purchase one for me? You will receive the PDF copy. Unfortunately, in this situation, we would be unable to provide you with a physical copy. Since we are not crowdfunding this project and not taking mass pre-orders, the funds available are only those which each individual participant is comfortable providing.
Why have you decided not to crowdfund or open pre-orders? There are a few big reasons for this:
1. Accessibility: We don’t want anyone to be unable to engage with the zine. We LOVE the Jonelias fandom, and this project is our love letter. Every single person who wants to read the zine should be able to, and no person should feel left out of the experience. A no-cost PDF is the best way to accomplish this.
2. Creative control: For better or worse, the stakes are higher when there’s money involved in a project. We want our mods and our participants to be able to work from a place of love and passion, not a place of concern with making an audience happy, or avoiding disappointment from paying customers.
3. Security: We don’t want anyone to feel any obligation to provide information that would reveal their real identity to anyone on the team. The more money and physical items involved, the more likely it becomes that the sharing of personal information will be required.*
*Yes, to purchase a participant physical copy of the zine, you will need to be comfortable paying the mod team by PayPal, and providing your mailing address so that we can send you a copy. That said, the choice to purchase a physical copy is completely at your discretion, since the PDF will be available to all.
I’m not participating, but I’d like to follow the zine’s progress. Where can I do that? Please follow us here on Tumblr or Twitter.
Where can I contact you for more information? You can contact us on Tumblr and Twitter, linked above, or email us at [email protected].
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