#id rather tag it as that than the alternative

[xxpsychopartypuppyxx]

Moss

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A short Garrance oneshot taking place in the Minecraft Diaries universe. Keeping in mind, this fic is likely moderately OOC, as I haven't watched the entirety of MCD since I was, like, 11. [I'm 20 now, ftr o_O]

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WARNING: This fic contains descriptions of blood, tending to open wounds, and brief mentions of kind of freaky gay things to do with them!!! Viewer discretion is advised. A character within the story is also mildly affected by blood loss throughout the entirety of the fic, so if that's something you're uncomfortable with, please do not read the fic. I'd describe it to be akin to sleepiness, in this case. The kind that makes you a little more vulnerable, and ballsy. It is not noncon, nor dubcon [I don't write those <3], but I thought I'd include it in the warnings, just in case.

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This fic is 18+. If you are not 18 or over, leave.

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Garroth put his hand on Laurance's shoulder, gently applying pressure to move him backwards, inspecting the wounds on his arms through his chainmail with a trained eye.

He frowned, his eyes focused on the damage as Laurance's fixed on him.

"This is...awful, Laurance. How in the name of Irene did you manage to get these wounds? From those bandits?" Garroth grumbled out, stern, yet soft. It was obvious to Laurance that his co-worker cared for him deeply, but as per usual, Garroth was guarded with his words and actions.

Laurance was having none of it this time, though.

"I got 'em from falling for you so hard," The redhead breathed in a seductive tone, a small chuckle and a cough following the silky words. Karma, he supposed. There was no blood torn from his lungs this time, but that splutter concerned Garroth nonetheless.

"Shut up, Laurance," Garroth briefly dropped the 'professional guard' act, his expression further beginning to reveal his concern, "Just...be quiet, let me handle this."

Garroth carefully reached for Laurance's armour, his experienced hands making quick work of his tabard, plating, chainmail and all. He had placed each piece neatly down on the grass, before taking a closer look at Laurance's chest.

"...Having f...fffuck, ow, uh...fun there?" Laurance hissed in pain as Garroth interrupted his flirtatious remark with a swipe of his thumb, before the taller pulled away to search for an ideal patch of moss to dress Laurance's wounds.

"No, I'm not having fun seeing you in pain, Laurance. As much as I think you have it coming sometimes," Cue Laurance's weak 'Hey!' from nearby - "You really need to be more careful with how you hold yourself in these situations. There's only a certain amount of moss in this forest."

Laurance looked at Garroth, forlornly. "I'm...sorry Garroth, I just...fuck, I just wanted to protect-"

"Our people. Their belongings. I know. But you shouldn't have fought those bandits alone." Garroth picked the moss he needed, then took it back to Laurance. He cut off the dirtied roots with his sword.

He stuffed the deeper wounds with the fluffy material, making sure they were packed adequately. His companion's blood was scarlet red on his fingers, glistening in the pale moonlight from above.

Laurance looked a little taken aback at the display: Garroth in such close proximity, a tinge of red on his fingertips as he stuffed Laurance full of fluffy white moss. It might've been the slight blood loss getting to his head, but...

...Laurance couldn't help but stare. In that moment, he briefly considered asking Garroth to plunge a finger into the wound he'd packed. To feel around inside of Laurance, to become a part of him.

But...that was...by Irene, that was far too much. Far too dangerous. Far too...weird.

"S..Sorry, Garroth..." Laurance whimpered involuntarily as the blond towering over him swiped some moss across his surface wounds, wiping any blood and debris away.

Garroth didn't mention the rather...unmasculine, sound. He only kept tending to Laurance. "What for? For getting yourself stabbed, through your chainmail, no less?"

"N...No, for...for wasting so much of your time, for..not being a good guard, a good friend, I-" The blood loss was definitely getting to Laurance a little. Usually, he was able to keep these kinds of thoughts at bay. This time, though...

"Be quiet." Garroth discarded the used moss in a pile of loose dirt, then scuffed his boot over the top of it, masking the scent of blood with dried, dusty mud.

"You're plenty competent, Laurance. As a guard...and as a friend, I couldn't ask for more. You know that, so damn it, don't say things like that." Garroth's voice was rough with emotion.

Before Laurance could reply, Garroth sucked in a deep breath, visibly bracing himself. He then cautiously pulled Laurance into a tender embrace.

Laurance blinked. Garroth...hadn't ever been so close before. He could smell his hair...the iron of his pauldrons...a familiar tinge of copper from his hands...and a distinct, earthy smell. The moss, of course.

It was...too much. Far too much, all at once.

Laurance clung to Garroth, feeling his hands begin to tremble as he held on to the taller man for dear life, near literal. He took in shaky, laboured breaths as he tried to keep his composure.

"...Relax, Laurance." Garroth was clearly the one getting clammy, almost at a loss for words in this situation, but Laurance didn't care. For as Garroth's words were whispered near his ear, his Scots accent mingling with them in a softer manner than his usual, Laurance relaxed; let out all of his pent up insecurities into Garroth's warmth.

"I get worried I-I'll never be able to protect the ones I love, I get worried I'll lose them every day. I look at all the other guards I've known in my travels and feel so insignificant, like I'm...not meant to have this position. Like I don't have the right to call myself a guard. I feel...someone else would be better able to keep these people safe, not...not me. I.." Laurance trailed off, face buried in Garroth's shoulder.

When he next looked up at Garroth, he saw a deep ocean of blue looking back at him; spilled down rosy cheeks, the dam broken by words, and words alone. Garroth quickly pulled away, wiping his eyes as discretely as possible. Laurance had already seen the ocean, though; it was vast, and nigh impossible to contain.

"What's...what's wrong Garroth?" Laurance asked, hushed and cautious with his words. He didn't want to hurt Garroth, he was clearly in a vulnerable state of mind right now.

"You...my Irene, I just...I hear those words - from my closest friend, no less...and they sound almost exactly like the ones I hear in my own mind, every single time something goes awry." Garroth breathed out, eyes not meeting Laurance's gaze. He looked as though he were hesitating about something, but Laurance wasn't sure what.

Laurance didn't know what to say. He instead pulled Garroth back into that same warm hug, but this time, he held him closer. He squeezed him as tight as he could without disturbing his own wounds.

Garroth sat there for a moment, before wrapping his arms around Laurance once again. He spoke to him in a soft tone; "...You shouldn't feel inadequate, you're a noble, strong, caring person...and all of those qualities are what make a good protector. You're...amazing, Laurance...truly, I mean it."

Laurance couldn't take it anymore. The thrumming in his head was eating his rationality alive.

Laurance pulled Garroth closer, fist balled around the front of his tabard, other hand reaching up to grab his chin. Garroth didn't pull away, but looked shocked by the sudden advancement. He quickly melted into the touch, leaning in a little closer himself.

Laurance chuckled, the fog in his head clearing a little. "Garroth, you...I never expected you to lean towards me like that, you little devil," He found his face flushing, but he pulled Garroth closer nonetheless.

Garroth seemed to gain a slight amount of hesitance at the words, wondering if he'd done something wrong, before it all melted away again the second Laurance pulled him yet closer. Their lips were almost brushing, and Garroth could feel his breath picking up as his head began to fill with...thoughts. Thoughts he wished he could put reigns on.

Laurance smirked at the feeling of Garroth's warm breaths on his lips, before opting to bite the other guard's lower lip.

Garroth gasped shallowly, a quiet whine ripped from his throat as Laurance began to nip at him. His teeth were pretty; pearly white with the tiniest notion of fangs. They were slick with spit. His own or Laurance's, though, he had no clue; his own lip was wet with the same stuff. But either way, that didn't matter. Right now, he wanted nothing more than for Laurance to quit toying with him and just-

Garroth went a deep shade of red, suddenly realising what exactly was going on. He lightly pushed against Laurance in his tizzy, heart racing.

Laurance stopped what he was doing to Garroth nigh immediately, looking up at him with a questioning, almost pleading, look.

"L...Laurance, you're...the- the blood loss m-must be affecting your judgement, I-I...I can't take advantage of you like this..." Garroth breathed out what was practically an excuse, ignoring the needy ache in his mind, stomach, and chest. He knew Laurance wasn't that far gone, if at all, he just...

...he needed a moment to collect himself.

"Sh-Shit, sorry, Garroth..." Laurance pulled away, flustered now that he'd been told off.

"I-It's okay, I'm not...I'm n-not mad at you. these kinds of situations sometimes m-make your mind and body a-act strangely...and without considering the con- consequences. But, that being said, you should...you should rest up. Here," Garroth took his tabard off, and made a makeshift bed using excess moss, grass, and the article of clothing.

He gestured for Laurance to get into bed.

"I...y-yeah. Thanks." Laurance got into bed, with some help from Garroth when he struggled; once again, ever the astute one.

Laurance had to pretend he wasn't looking at Garroth's muscles and scars as he tried to settle down. He briefly wondered if Garroth was even into guys, before perishing the thought. He needed to sleep.

"...Goodnight, Garroth."

"Night, Laurance."

Garroth couldn't keep his eyes off Laurance's lips in the night, and nothing could take his mind off of the little love bites he'd given him; not sharpening his sword, not foraging their dinner for tomorrow, not even thinking about Aphmau and their home. He was constantly licking his bottom lip, and every time he did, he felt his face grow hotter.

Garroth realised, as his form was doused in moonlight from above, that there would be absolutely no coming back from what had happened between the two of them, that night.

He was fucked.

[feralcoffeebug]

i saw in the tags of ur new fic that hua cheng has BPD in ur hcs…. if ur willing to talk abt it id love to hear abt it 🙏

Hi!!! Ofc I’d love to talk about it.

So Hua Cheng is one of the characters that I hold super dear to my heart, in that fic he wasn’t quite old enough for the actual symptoms to start showing in ways that would be super obvious hence the whole “it’s not really shown/explored here” that I mentioned. But! Let’s get into it!

There are 3 suspected subtypes for BPD, not really “officially” used in the dsm5 but! Hua Cheng fits Really Well for quiet BPD, which is often where the symptoms are more internalized rather than outward. As a child and teen when he was the little boy and little soldier the BPD symptoms are more outward, as is extremely common for people with quiet BPD that they do not start with this presentation of symptoms.

Since I love researching especially for my headcannons this will have me pulling from the DSM and using that lol. Sorry if this isn’t quite what you wanted! Feel free to send another ask in that case! I love answering questions haha.

SPOILERS AHEAD FOR THE NOVELS

The diagnostic criteria means you need 5 of the main 9 symptoms of BPD to be diagnosed with it. A lot of these behaviors start around 13, HOWEVER it is very difficult to diagnose in children and teens due to regular hormonal changes and a developing mind can often mimic the same instability that comes along with BPD. Please do not use this as something to diagnose yourself.

Hua Cheng, as he is, meets a few of the symptoms. I’ll go symptom by symptom to explain them a bit more

1. Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment (not including sh or sui behaviors as it is covered in a different criteria).

Throughout TGCF Hua Cheng often spends a lot of him time attempting to be useful or good enough for Xie Lian, He gets very anxious and fearful around areas that might make Xie Lian leave him or be disgusted by him.

As Hong’er, he often changes entire things about himself with just a small off-hand comment from Xie Lian. He picked up the saber and focused on it because Xie Lian told him that he would suit it well. He panicked every single time someone tried to remove the bandages covering his red eye because he knew that it was something a lot of people hated or treated him badly for and was disgusted by, and he didn’t want Xie Lian to see it. When Xie Lian found out about the fact that he was born under the star of solitude and that meant he was cursed he had a breakdown about it, only calming down when Xie Lian assured him that he was believed that he wasn’t cursed. He showed anger at anyone else where for Xie Lian he would do anything (except talk haha)

I can’t say much about Wu Ming or him as a ghost fire; mostly due to not having gotten to his chapters yet. But my brain wants to use the part with the 33 heavenly officials and his anger at Feng Xin and Mu Qing as proof as well. Along with his devotion to Xie Lian.

As Hua Cheng, he often looks to Xie Lian when he’s not sure what he will think of things, often changing his likes and dislikes when it comes to him. He changed his form to be one that Xie Lian might have liked more, being extremely insecure about his true form while trying to play it off that he was ugly, which obviously Xie Lian didn’t agree with. And once he saw that Xie Lian wasn’t as disgusted by his actual form he uses it more often along with (At least in the manghua) he incorporates some parts of it in his San Lang form.

All in all, usually he sees things that could displease Xie Lian as being bad, and I believe this comes from a place of fearing abandonment by Xie Lian.

2. A pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation

This symptom is a hallmark of the disorder, and most of the other symptoms are what leads to this symptom to showing up. For Hua Cheng, his relationship with Xie Lian is pretty constant and in this context he would be his Favorite Person (FP) (will be discussed later) but his relationship with others are far more unstable. He goes between not caring for those he barely knows to being extremely angry and vindictive if they even so much seem as if they are insulting or disrespecting XL. He also seems to not have very steady relations with those he is simi closer to than strangers (such as yin yu and black water, the only two that, outside of XL, he has around him decently often enough, which honestly probably shows more so that he is attached to Xie Lian like a person with Bpd is to their FP). His opinion of those people seems to be very dependent on how they’re effecting his current situations as they happen, at least from what I’ve seen myself. He also holds very little regard for people outside of Xie Lian, which honestly might point to something like ASPD or something but in my opinion HC fits BPD more so than the other one but I could see the argument for it.

His unstable relationship mostly goes in relation of himself and his self image, which are very dependent on Xie Lian.

3. Identity disturbance: marked and persistently unstable self-image or sense of self.

For this criteria, this mostly means changes in personality, likes, dislikes, goals, and role. Often the only sense of self people with BPD have is that they are bad or evil, which we see a lot in Hua Cheng, his view of himself is very negative. He often does not feel as if he deserves to be treated nicely by Xie Lian.

4. Impulsivity in at least two areas that are potentionally self-damaging (e.g. spending, sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, binge eating. Not including sh or sui behaviors.

Idk why for this one specifically but in my heart I feel like he is very impulsive even outside life or death situations. I cannot for the life of me recall why right now

One of them is him betting his ashes in the fight with the 33 gods, while that could be seen as him being confident in his ability to win it is still very dangerous. I’m unsure if this would count as impulsive or just sui behavior lmao.

5. Recurrent suicidal behavior, gestures, or threats, or self-mutilating behavior.

As Hong’er, He was going up the wall to die. Not only that but when he was in the army he often put his life on the line specifically trying to protect Xie Lian, to the point that Feng Xin mentioned offhand that it seemed like he had a death wish and that he had no concern for his own life. All of Hua Cheng’s deaths actively involve dying for Xie Lian, as he decided to live for the man as well.

6. Affective instability due to a marked reactivity of mood (e.g. intense episodic dysphoria, irritability, or anxiety usually lasting a few hours and only rarely more than a few days).

Hua Cheng’s mood often shifts very quickly from extremes, there seems to be very little grey area for his moods. Often times, he is happy and content only for a small thing to bring his ire and anger, especially when it comes to his time with Xie Lian. This is often set inwards, anger at himself for not being able to protect him. But this also is directed at others as well as seen by his reactions when Feng Xin and Mu Qing show up.

7.Chronic feelings of emptiness.

In my headcannons this is very true. He is often bored, he often acts very bored in the donghua when something doesn’t have to do with Xie Lian.

8. Inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger.

I don’t know about you, but I think a lot of Hua Cheng’s emotions include anger. He hits He Xuan because of a situation that endangers Xie Lian. He is known for getting into fights over small things. He killed 33 gods for simply disrespecting Xie Lian. He often has outbursts in anger at Mu Qing and Feng Xin, using a lot of sarcasm. These outbursts often happen when Xie Lian isn’t giving him attention or when they are disrespecting/looking down at Xie Lian in some way, shape, or form.

9. Transient, stress-related paranoid idealtion or severe dissociative symptoms

This symptoms often comes up when in response to something that may be relating to possible abandonment. Hua Cheng tends to get more quiet and withdrawn when situations have to do with himself or when something comes up that Xie Lian might hate him over. The topic of E’Ming makes him start to try and move the topic off of it’s emotional responses, when he hurt Xie Lian he gets quiet and stares where Xie Lian left for a long while, getting quiet when Xie Lian apologizes for the situation before nearly crying over it and apologizing over it.

Now, a lot of the reasons behind why I say a character has a mental illness usually does not come from what criteria they meet, but I felt that explaining what could possibly meet what criteria is a fun way to get the conversation started. A lot of BPD is the mental process that gets the reactions, or what causes the reactions. I’m going to get into the like, less official practical and professional view of BPD and go more into it as someone who shows a lot of BPD esc symptoms and the research I’ve done from other people with the disorder.

In BPD, there is a thing called a Favorite Person, also shorthanded to FP. I mentioned earlier that Xie Lian would be his FP, and I stand by this. Often to a person with BPD their FP is everything to them. Their emotional wellbeing and sense of self is often based on the person. It is often very intense and their FP is often what is the root cause of their symptoms showing up. Often FPs are caregivers, friends, crushes, and other things. It can be a very unhealthy relationship for both parties due to the fact that a person with BPD rely heavily on their FP for regulation.

This is something we often see with Hua Cheng and Xie Lian. Hua Cheng relies on Xie Lian for reassurance, taking every grain of it. He does everything in his power to appeal to Xie Lian but also doesn’t mind if Xie Lian doesn’t know about him or hates him as long as he can be useful to him. He also does all he can to get Xie Lian’s attention and praise. He bases a lot of himself and his environment around Xie Lian. I think that the opinion that some of the fandom has of him that “everything revolves around Xie Lian for his character” is a very good example of this. I do not agree with this sentiment, obviously, but it is very common for people with BPD to base almost everything around this FP.

Hua Cheng also wants to spend all of his time around Xie Lian, which is often seen with people with Bpd and their fps.

A lot of this headcannon also has a lot to do with seeing myself in Hua Cheng, seeing behaviors I’ve done for past FPs and even my current FP. I see my relationship with my current FP (which is my boyfriend before anyone asks) in Xie Lian and Hua Cheng. I am a lot more unstable in my relationship with my FP than Hua Cheng is to Xie Lian, but I also feel like Hua Cheng often would turn his anger inward a lot more than I do and fall heavily into self blame for any issues. Along with that, I feel as if Hua Cheng is also pretty inclined to feel as if he overstepped and to internally berate himself for thinking he could have or do or feel whatever unstable emotions and feelings and devaluation towards Xie Lian.

Anyways here’s a small, very tired and sleepy explanation. I’m sorry if none of this makes sense. I just woke up to write this and I’m probably heading to bed.

[neopronouns]

flag id: a flag with 3 stripes, which are light warm purple, silver-white, and soft indigo. end id.

banner id: a 1500x150 teal banner with the words ‘please read my dni before interacting’ in large white text in the center. end id.

an addition to my feminine, masculine, neutral, xenine, and null/ambiguous presentation flags — androgynous-presenting, or angi-presenting! for those who consider their presentation specifically androgynous rather than feminine + masculine, or just an alternate term for fem + masc presenting.

tags: @radiomogai, @presentationflag-archive, @dragonpride17 | dni link

[ladylilithprime]

Title: Affairs of State

Event: SPN Pro-Ship Big Bang

Bang Level: Big (20k+, so big, why won't this thing end, I had an outline...!)

Pairings: Sastiel, Debriel

Summary: The Kingdom of Himnahliðið is in mourning and quiet turmoil, for King Michael has passed away and his heir, Prince Castiel, is still shy of his official majority. Rather than leave the throne to Prince Lucien to hold as Regent until Castiel fully comes of age and risk an accident befalling Castiel before he can take the throne from his uncle, Prince Gabriel conspires to ascend his nephew to his majority early by way of getting Castiel married as quickly as possible. With the coronation being scheduled for three weeks away, finding his nephew a fiance turns out to be much easier than he thought it would be, but it's still only the beginning.

Tags/Warnings: Royalty AU, Alternate Earth, Political Intrigue, Assassination Attempts, Canon-Typical Violence, Pregnancy and Surrogacy, Ritual Combat

Read on AO3

Featuring Amazing Art by @girlsvmonsters !

[Image ID: Chapter three double wedding, Castiel and Sam stand in the foreground with High Priestess Rowena facing them from the middle, Gabriel and Dean standing together in the background.]

[Image ID: Chapter eight ritual combat. Castiel is in black pants with no shirt, a red handprint on his chest, holding a dagger in an overhand grip as he lunges forward mid-attack towards the viewer.]

[lightsonparkave]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO LIGHTS ON PARK AVE! WE’RE OFFICIALLY FIVE YEARS OLD AS OF AUGUST 22 (this post is a bit late 😅). While the actual anniversary has passed, you can continue the celebrations by submitting a work for the current round (and as always, you can still submit works for previous rounds that have ended!). Round 55 closes on October 31, and you have 18 prompts to choose from. There are no minimum work requirements or limit to how many works you can submit.

Not sure you can finish your work in time? Little messages are great presents too. What has the past year of Lights on Park Ave been like for you? Do you have a favorite prompt or round? A favorite LoPA work? Want to make a rec list of your favorites or wax poetic and show some love for a specific work and/or creator? Go for it. Let the Steve/Tony community know! The LoPA askbox is open or if you want to make your own Tumblr post or tweet, you can mention @lightsonparkave​ or tag #lightsonparkave. Whatever method you choose, I’ll make sure to share your message/post on here and Twitter.

Or maybe you’re not up to making anything this time. In that case, let’s take a walk down memory lane. Here are all 15 Lights on Park Ave works for previous rounds this past year.

ART

Any

Steve and Tony sitting under a blossoming almond tree - @jarvisuanddumetoo

Steve leaping off a building and Tony in his Iron Man suit rising up to catch him - @jarvisuanddumetoo

MCU

"The Mirror Takes Him" - ayapandagirl/Fluffypanda

EDIT

.616

"Before the Fall" - MissionCritical It’s so hard to remember, after years of anger and broken trust, how true their love was, how deep their connection. But it’s just as hard to forget.

"The Haunted" - MissionCritical

FIC

.616

"As If It Might Turn Out This Time" - @citsiurtlanu No matter what Tony does, the world burns. Steve burns. The Watcher offers him a way out. (This is a 616 Iron Age fic.)

AU

"A Knight's Treasure" - Naivelittleprincess/@sunnysideprincess Anthon follows Steven to battle. But the knight is not too happy about the rescue. He would rather have his mate hidden and safe, at least until the birth of their first child.

"An Alternate Tale of a Fall" - felisnocturna When a strange, winged man falls into the sea off the coast of Thera, Stephanos doesn't hesitate to jump in after him. Little does he know that saving Antonis will change more than just his plans for the day.

MCU

"A Comet Before the Ides" - ayapandagirl/Fluffypanda “Don’t go tomorrow.”

"Darling, your grave is right next to mine" - Naivelittleprincess/@sunnysideprincess This time he isn't alone. This time, when the plane goes down, Tony is right there with him, his voice wavering even as he quips about the horrible makings of their coffin.

"Hammering at the Door at 4 a.m." - ayapandagirl/Fluffypanda Past Tony comes to visit

"i give you, as you see, a ready argument" - soliloquent (@soliloquent-stark) “When he was seven, he wrote memento mori on his wrist. It worked; he has never forgotten.” or: Two things Tony cannot shake — his mortality and a secret love for Steve that lingers on, eleven years and counting.

"In Passing" - @nostalgicatsea (also on Tumblr) There is only this, only here and now. It takes Steve eleven years of transience to accept this, eleven years too late.

"Romcom Fantasies" - @starkparade Tony runs into Steve at the airport, and when the hotel Tony booked in Washington DC abruptly cancels his reservation, Steve offers him to stay the night at his place. It sounds like something straight out of Tony's romcom fantasies starring Steve, except Tony is convinced that Steve is in love with someone else.

Two excerpts from an Endgame WIP about Tony recording a message for Steve - @nostalgicatsea The recording started a minute ago, and Tony still hasn't said anything. It occurs to him that he should talk to Steve about this, if not as a—a whatever they are. Then Avenger to Avenger.

[farcillesbian]

"I need to protect Laios, Falin, and the others... I must protect them...!"

pt: "I need to protect Laios, Falin, and the others... I must protect them...!"

id: end credit art from the dungeon meshi anime. it shows marcille and falin running to catch up with shuro, laios, namari, and chilchuck. /end id

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about me:

my name is peach or riley, pronouns are he/they/fae, and i'm a transmasc femme lesbian - see my pronouns page for more info if you're curious how i like to be referred to!

i'm 27 (♎ libra), i've been on tumblr since 2010, and i have a master's degree in biology!

i enjoy reading (seriously, i have read over 80 books so far in 2024) with a particular fondness for sci fi and fantasy. i also read a lot of manga!

i also really enjoy music - i love listening to albums front to back when i discover an artist i like and reading up about them on the internet. I have over 100 CDs in my collection. i have spent hours on end researching songs that fit a particular vibe that i want to curate a playlist around. i also love reading about specific genres and their origins. my top genres include midwest emo, screamo, and shoegaze, but i will generally listen to any kind of music. if you say you listen to everything except rap, you're being antiblack and you should shut the fuck up and think about it.

#tunez is where i share music i enjoy.

my favourite video games are the pokemon mystery dungeon games (explorers of sky is the best), the dragon age series (zevran is forever in my heart), baldur's gate 3, the mass effect series, dave the diver, final profit, and civ 6.

previous URLs you may know me by include zevbian (will probably come back to it when the new dragon age releases), dyketorbjorn, and chubey.

i write image descriptions because this makes the internet a more accessible place for many people - first and foremost, blind and low vision people, though it can be helpful to others as well. posts with only alt text are tagged "id in alt text" and posts without any description are tagged "undescribed". descriptions I have added myself are tagged "described". i do not tag fundraising posts as undescribed even if they aren't because i believe that they need as much exposure as possible and the images they include are usually secondary to the intent of the post.

feel free to look at my carrd that I haven't updated for a few years, lol

[seidenbros]

Breaking the Ice - Chapter 9

Pairing: Wylan van Eck x Jesper Fahey

Summary: “I didn’t want to think about it,” Wylan said, but Jesper felt like there was more to it. And to be honest, it kind of stung that he worded it like that. “So it was that bad, huh? Sure didn’t seem like it.” He knew that his bruised ego was talking, but he meant it. Why else would Wylan not want to think about that moment? Jesper had certainly thought about it plenty. He’d thought about it when he’d seen Wylan, but he’d also thought about it when he’d been alone and could let his imagination run free. “That’s not…” Wylan shook his head and stepped off the ice to reach for his bag and get the water bottle out. “What? That’s not what, Wylan? You ran away, you pretended you didn’t remember anything, and now you’re telling me that you didn’t want to think about it? That’s a really fucking nice thing to hear.” “I didn’t mean it like that!” Wylan got defensive, and it showed in the way he straightened again “How did you mean it then?”

Warning/Tags: POV Jesper Fahey, POV Wylan van Eck, Alternate Universe - Hockey, Alternate Universe - Figure skating, Hockey Coach Kaz Brekker, injuries, Jan van Eck is the scum of the Earth, sexual content, implied child abuse

Read on AO3

Last night had certainly been something. Of course, Jesper had told Wylan he could call if he wanted to get out of there, but he hadn’t really expected him to take him up on that offer. He was more than glad that he had done so, because that way he’d been able to take care of him a little and watch out that he’d gotten home safe - and then there had been this David guy, who hadn’t left Wylan alone. He’d been just in time, and considering how intoxicated Wylan had been, he wasn’t sure where this might have ended. But all had been well once he’d gotten Wylan into his car and home.

Oh, but Wylan had really tempted him with everything he’d said and done. He was rather cute that way, smiling all the time, looking even softer than he usually did, and the things he’d said to Jesper… Saints, he’d nearly made him weak. Since the Gala, Jesper had been thinking about kissing him again, his eyes drawn to Wylan’s lips time and time again, but last night had been way too tempting, especially when he’d talked about a goodnight kiss. He’d done the right thing. This time, when he kissed Wylan, he wanted both of them to be sober, and he definitely didn’t want Wylan to run away again. They could talk about anything, but running away wouldn’t be an option, and now, Jesper knew where to find him.

And this was where he was headed now. He’d made some coffee at home and was taking two to-go-cups with him. On the way to Wylan’s apartment, he stopped for some croissants, because he wasn’t sure whether Wylan had eaten anything already or not. They hadn’t chosen a time for their training today, but it was just past ten now, so he hoped that Wylan would be awake - and if he wasn’t in the mood or shape to do some training, that would be alright. Mainly, Jesper wanted to make sure and see for himself that he was fine, and he had training with the team later on anyway.

With the two coffee cups and the bag of croissants - in his opinion a good choice after a night of drinks - he set foot into the building and headed straight for the elevator. Admittedly, he felt a little nervous, because he had no idea how Wylan would react, but the worst thing that could happen was that Wylan sent him away. Once at the door, he knocked three times, then tried to listen if there was any movement in the apartment. There was silence, but then he heard something and the door opened a little bit.

“Jesper? What are you doing here?” Wylan peeked at him through the gap, and he could only see half his face. His hair looked wet, but his eyes were bright which was a good sign.

“I didn’t hear from you and since we were actually supposed to train today, I thought I’d come by and see how you were doing.”

“My alarm didn’t go off this morning, so I had no idea what time it was, I’m sorry.” Wylan shook his head.

“Don’t worry. I wasn’t even sure whether you’d be able to get on the ice or not. But I wanted to check up on you, and so I brought coffee and croissants. Can I come in?” He’d just hand it to Wylan if he didn’t want to let him in, but he’d much rather stay.

“I can go on the ice. I just need a minute, because I just got out of the shower.” Wylan opened the door properly now, standing in front of Jesper only in a towel that was wrapped around his lower body, making it very difficult for Jesper not to stare at him. “Make yourself at home, I’ll just get dressed.”

“I don’t have a problem with the view you’re giving me,” Jesper said as he stepped inside and closed the door. Wylan’s back was already turned to him while he quickly walked to what Jesper supposed was the bathroom. He didn’t get a reaction, but this way, he was able to let his eyes trail over Wylan’s backside, the broad shoulders, the slim waist and… scars. He only got a short glimpse at the scars at Wylan’s lower back towards his sides, but that was something he hadn’t expected. And something that made him wonder how he’d gotten them. They weren’t your usual scars from injuries that came with the sport he was doing.

Jesper hadn’t had a lot of time to look around the night before - and it would have been highly inappropriate in his opinion - but he knew where the kitchen was, so he put the croissants and the coffee cups down so he could take off his coat and put it over the backrest of one of the chairs. Then he picked up his own coffee again and took a sip, while looking around. There were a couple of photos of Wylan and his friends, a few plants and flowers, and then there were Comet’s bowls of course. There was a mat beneath them that had a nebula as a motif on it, which made Jesper smile. That also made him realise that he hadn’t seen the cat last night. Maybe, because he’d heard a stranger’s voice, or Jesper hadn’t paid attention because he’d been so focused on Wylan.

It almost felt like he’d conjured the cat up, because he suddenly felt something press against his calf. When he looked down, there he sure enough was, demanding Jesper’s attention, that he very willingly gave him. Crouching down, Jesper held out his hand to the cat to let him sniff first and then decide what he wanted to do. When Comet butted his head against Jesper’s hand, he had to smile and carefully started scratching the top of his head, then over his backside, before he also scratched under Comet’s chin, which seemed to be his favourite.

“I’m a little surprised,” Wylan said, once he was back, making Jesper look up at him from his crouched position. His hair was still damp, showing off the curls even more at the moment, but he was dressed and he looked good in a dark green shirt and a pair of jeans. “He usually hides when there is someone he doesn’t know yet and it takes him some time to come out.”

“I didn’t see him last night, but I guess he heard my voice. Maybe that makes a change.” Carefully, Jesper pulled himself up to his full height, not taking his eyes off Wylan. “How are you feeling? Did you sleep well?”

“That might have something to do with it.” Wylan slowly nodded before he smiled once more at Jesper. “I did, thanks to you. And after the shower I feel rather good. No headache, so that’s a good thing.”

“And you remember everything?”

“Y… yeah I do.” There it was, that beautiful blush that grazed his cheeks, that Jesper really loved to see on him. “Sorry for the way I behaved.”

“No need to apologise. I’m just glad I got there before David convinced you that it would be nice to go home with him.”

“Ugh don’t remind me of him.” Wylan groaned, before he picked up Comet to give him some love.

The way the cat immediately snuggled up to its owner, head pressed against Wylan’s neck, was just too cute. Jesper couldn’t resist and pulled out his phone to take a photo of the two of them. Wylan didn’t seem to mind, and that was the best part of this, so Jesper made sure to send it his way straight away, before he forgot about it.

“He was rather full of himself, wasn’t he?” Jesper asked, reaching for the bag of croissants to present it to Wylan so that he could take one out of it. “I didn’t know how you like your coffee, so it’s just black.”

“A bit of milk, no sugar.”

“Just like me,” Jesper said with a smile, hiding it a little behind the cup that he led to his lips.

Wylan took one of the croissants, before he put Comet down, who immediately protested with a meow that made Jesper chuckle. Once he’d broken off a little piece of the croissant, he put it in Comet’s bowl so that he could eat it. That made Jesper’s smile widen even more. He knew that cats weren’t supposed to eat something like that, but Comet seemed happy and healthy, so that was what counted for him.

Together, they enjoyed their coffee and the croissants, and Wylan thanked him again for all this. It seemed to be the right start to the day, and Jesper felt better knowing that Wylan was feeling good. And he even found out that Wylan remembered what he’d said and done last night. Not that he would talk about it again right now, but he hadn’t forgotten about it either.

“Do you want to hit the ice or rather do that tomorrow?”

“Maybe some light training? No speed races or anything, but at least something. Otherwise I won’t get on the ice at all, and Inej will ask questions.”

That  sounded like he didn’t want to tell her about how much he’d drunk last night, which was more than fine with Jesper. After all, it wasn’t like Wylan went out and got drunk every other night.

Twenty minutes later, Jesper stopped his car in front of the ice-rink. They still had some time left until the team would arrive for a little on ice training before the game tonight, so Jesper would already be there for that, just not dressed in his usual attire, since neither of them was getting changed this time. He wouldn’t be playing anyway, because he didn’t have the go just yet so that would be alright.

Just like the times before, Wylan put on some music, but rather quietly this time. Whether it was because he couldn’t bear it to be so loud or because of some other reason, Jesper didn’t know, but he didn’t ask either. They went back to working on Jesper’s balance for a bit, not talking all that much, but Jesper couldn’t stop thinking about last night. Not with the things Wylan had revealed to him. And then there was his curiosity about the scars he’d seen earlier, but he wouldn’t ask about them now. Still, he could ask him something else.

“Why did you tell me you didn’t remember what happened at the Gala?” Jesper was still holding Wylan’s hand as they were slowing down and skating towards the bench. Once the question was out, though, Wylan pulled his hand from Jesper’s and held onto the boards instead.

“I didn’t want to think about it,” Wylan said, but Jesper felt like there was more to it. And to be honest, it kind of stung that he worded it like that.

“So it was that bad, huh? Sure didn’t seem like it.” He knew that his bruised ego was talking, but he meant it. Why else would Wylan not want to think about that moment? Jesper had certainly thought about it plenty. He’d thought about it when he’d seen Wylan, but he’d also thought about it when he’d been alone and could let his imagination run free.

“That’s not…” Wylan shook his head and stepped off the ice to reach for his bag and get the water bottle out.

“What?” Jesper asked, following him so he didn’t risk slipping on the ice, because his focus was completely on Wylan. “That’s not what , Wylan? You ran away, you pretended you didn’t remember anything, and now you’re telling me that you didn’t want to think about it? That’s a really fucking nice thing to hear.”

“I didn’t mean it like that!” Wylan got defensive, and it showed in the way he straightened again, but he was still a little smaller than Jesper and had to look up at him. At least he wasn’t avoiding eye contact right now.

“How did you mean it then?” Jesper challenged him, closed the distance between them so that they were almost chest to chest. “Because from where I’m standing, you made the first move, and you seemed to enjoy all of it and then this? I can live with you leaving me standing there without an explanation. Then I hear that you’re asking about my well-being after I ended up in the hospital, and when I finally see you again, you pretend that you don’t remember.” Jesper counted every point on his fingers, still looking at Wylan. This was ridiculous in a way, but on the other hand, he needed to get this off his chest, needed to know what all this had been about. “If you changed your mind at the Gala, that’s perfectly fine, and I’d always understand, but there was not a single word from you.”

“You didn’t call!” Wylan spoke up, his fingers tightening around the boards, while his other hand rose up to brush through his hair. A gesture Jesper had often watched, and that always managed to distract him, because it drew his attention to Wylan’s hair, and made the wish grow bigger to run his own hands through it. Wylan had done that with him in the elevator, had gripped Jesper’s hair, and it had driven him mad with need.

“What are you talking about?” How had he been supposed to call Wylan? They’d talked for the first time that night, they had only exchanged numbers when they’d been told that they should train together. Sure, Jesper could have reached out through Instagram, but Wylan made it sound like he’d already had his phone number.

“You didn’t call. I gave you my number, but never heard from you. So forgive me, for not wanting to think about that night.” There was a fire in Wylan’s eyes that Jesper had seen before, but only on the ice. It did something to him, he couldn’t deny that.

“I didn’t have your number, what are you talking about?”

“I wrote it down and put it in your pocket!”

“You…” Jesper needed a moment to process this, retracing his steps, but he couldn’t remember finding anything with Wylan’s number on it. “You were pissed at me because I didn’t call, when I didn’t even find your number. Are you serious?”

“I… better leave, this isn’t going anywhere.” Wylan shook his head, but he didn’t move away. Instead, his eyes landed on Jesper’s lips, which was even more confusing.

“This is ridiculous. You can’t keep running from me.”

“Oh I can.” Sometimes at least, though right now, he’d have to change into his normal shoes, or he wouldn’t get that far. Or put some covers over his blades.

“But do you really want that?” He’d run away before, and Jesper wouldn’t put it past him to do that again. Right now, though, the air was heavy between them and so charged, that this could go in all kinds of directions, but with the way Wylan was looking at his lips, leaning towards him, Jesper knew where he wanted this to go, and it had nothing to do with seeing Wylan walk away. Quite the contrary.

When their eyes met again, Jesper felt something inside of him shift. He was still a little pissed off, but that was pushed aside the moment their lips met. He had no idea who initiated the kiss, but it didn’t matter. Not when Wylan’s lips felt so soft beneath his own, and he could feel Wylan’s palms against his chest, almost burning right through his hoodie, spreading heat through the rest of his body.

Jesper wrapped his left arm around Wylan’s middle to pull him against his chest and hold him tight. Maybe, there was an underlying fear that Wylan would run again and leave him standing here, but he mostly did it, because he wanted and needed Wylan this close. His right hand stroked up along Wylan’s arm, grabbing onto his shoulder for a moment, but then he let go again, because he could finally, finally bury his fingers in his hair. It was even softer than he’d thought, and he couldn’t resist grabbing it slightly. Not to hurt Wylan, but to tilt his head back a little, and the sound that came out of his mouth made him tighten his arm around him for a moment. Jesper licked into his mouth, got a proper taste of him, and this time, there wasn’t a trace of alcohol, which made it all the more alluring.

Wylan’s hands started moving over his chest, to his sides, slipping beneath his hoodie. Rationally, he knew that this wasn’t the right time or the right place, but he needed this. He needed Wylan’s touch, wanted so much more, and he was overjoyed that this was finally happening again. Jesper hadn’t been able to stop thinking about that moment in the elevator, but this right now was overwhelming as well.

Jesper pulled back a little, dragging his teeth over Wylan’s bottom lip, before he lowered his head again to kiss along his jaw. He had one goal in mind, because he wanted to see, hear, and feel if Wylan would react the same way he’d done the last time, and when he kissed that spot right below his ear, he got exactly that. Wylan sank more against him, the moan that fell from his lips was music to Jesper’s ears, and he wanted to get so much more out of him. More of those wonderful sounds and reactions. That was one reason why he opened his lips over that spot and started sucking on his skin. The other reason had more to do with a sudden possessiveness that found its way to the surface and made him want to put a mark on him. It was stupid in a way, because he had no idea what this between them could even turn out to be, how Wylan thought and felt about this. Still… there was one word in his head right now: Mine .

“Jesper,” Wylan said a little breathlessly, his nails digging slightly into Jesper’s skin at his back.

“Want me to stop?” Jesper murmured against Wylan’s skin, not wanting to pull back further until he told him to do so. His lips ghosted along Wylan’s neck, his tongue flicking against the delicate skin.

“No… Don’t stop.”

Wylan’s voice was low, and Jesper could feel the vibrations against his lips, while Wylan’s fingers moved slowly up his back, pushing his hoodie up in the process. Jesper would have loved to get rid of that thing, and rid Wylan of some clothes as well, but not here, not now. What he did do, though, was push his hand beneath Wylan’s shirt, wanting to feel some skin as well. The small gasp he tore from Wylan’s lips like that made him smile. His hands were a little cold due to where they were, and he could feel goosebumps break out over Wylan’s back, but his hand quickly warmed up. He loosened his grip on Wylan’s hair, cradling the back of his head in his hand, while he kissed further down along his throat until he reached his collarbone.

When they heard other people’s voices, they had to break apart. Jesper didn’t let go of Wylan immediately, because he needed a moment to process this, realise that he was really hearing them. The Ketterdam Crows. Apparently, they had both lost track of time completely - and who could blame them - because they both knew that they had training as well. Training that Jesper wanted to attend after being on the ice with Wylan. They were coming down the tunnel now, but still far away so that they weren’t seeing them when Jesper stole another kiss from Wylan’s lips, before reluctantly letting go of him. His kiss swollen lips were so inviting, and Jesper would have loved nothing more than to connect their lips again and keep going, but that wasn’t the best idea. What he was capable of doing, though, was raising his hand to make Wylan’s hair look a bit less dishevelled. The mark right beneath Wylan’s ear could be rather telling, but the players would probably not pay that any attention.

Both of them smoothed down their shirts. While Jesper couldn’t get the grin off his face, Wylan looked a little nervous. It made Jesper reach out and squeeze his hand.

“Are you alright?” Jesper asked, rubbing his thumb over the back of Wylan’s hand, who licked his lips, clearly searching for the right words.

“Yes and no,” he managed to say, squeezing Jesper’s hand back before letting go of it. “I think I should go.” Wylan cast a glance towards the tunnel where some of the players were filing onto the ice already, but then he looked back up at Jesper. “And no, this isn’t me running away this time.” Wylan couldn’t stop himself from smiling, and neither could Jesper.

“I’m glad to hear that.” It meant that something had changed. Either way, they were supposed to work together at least until they talked to their coaches, so the situation was different to three months ago. But it wasn’t just that, because Jesper really liked Wylan, enjoyed the time they spent together. On a professional level, they were helping each other as well, though that had moved a little into the background for him. For once, he wasn’t only focused on the game.

“Jesper!” Tolya called out to him, grinning as he waved  his hockey stick.

“I’ll be with you in a minute,” Jesper called back, but then turned to look at Wylan again. “I’ll text you when I’m home, alright?”

“Sounds good.” Wylan nodded. Jesper had a feeling that there was something more that Wylan wanted to say, but he sat down on the bench to swap his skates for his shoes.

“Oh, I forgot, that we came here with my car. Do you need a lift home? I’m sure it won’t be a problem if I take you home and then come back.”

“There’s no need for that, but I appreciate the offer. I’ll walk or take the bus. Get some fresh air.”

“Are you sure?” It wasn’t exactly a short walk, and Jesper had to admit that he worried a little bit.

“Yes. After last night, I think a little walk will be good. Besides, I haven’t been jogging today, and I don’t think I’ll do that today, so I’ll take the walk as my exercise today.” Wylan chuckled, making Jesper’s smile widen a little more.

Once Wylan had left, Jesper stepped on the ice to get to the rest of his team and his coach. Kaz looked him up and down, but didn’t say anything at first.

“Taking your extra training seriously?” he asked once he’d sent the others to warm up a little on the ice, his eyes now on Jesper.

“Yep. Even with a little hangover, Wylan came today. I’ll have you know that we’ve worked quite a bit on my balance.” He wasn’t sure whether Kaz was insinuating anything here, but he didn’t want to find out. Better keep it on the topic of skating for now.

“So, you realise it was a good idea to put you two together?”

Jesper felt his heart jump in his throat. He wasn’t just talking about the skating, was he? Jesper couldn’t be sure, and he tried to stay calm about this.

“Yes, we both realise that. But we’re still at the beginning I guess.”

“At least you’ll be able to show what you’ve learned in two days.” Kaz kept his eyes on the other players, specifically on their goalie when the others started. It took Jesper a moment to realise just what Kaz had said.

“Wait, are you serious? I’ll be playing?” Jesper had been to his check ups the day before, but he hadn’t heard back from anyone. Seems like they talked to Kaz, and he was giving him the good news now.

“Yes, the doc gave you the go, so you’ll be playing.”

“Yes!” Oh, this was great news, and he couldn’t wait to tell Wylan.

“But only if you get changed now to join the training.”

“Of course, coach.” Jesper was grinning from one ear to the other when he quickly moved down the ice to change into his gear, so he could join his team. One more game without him, but then he’d be able to play again.

After training, Jesper sent Wylan a message to tell him that he was allowed to play again, just not tonight. He’d be at the game, though and join the owner of the team in the sky box. He’d even invited Wylan earlier to join him, but he really wasn’t feeling up to spending time among a lot of people, not after last night, which was understandable, and Jesper had kind of expected that as well, yet he’d still wanted to extend the invitation.

In the end, he wouldn’t have had a lot of time for Wylan anyway. Once at the arena, he talked to a couple of people, and was even approached by some journalists. Kaz had warned him that this would happen, but it was okay. He was a natural with the journalists, and hence always a favourite. There were some questions about his injuries and his comeback, and Jes was overjoyed to announce that he’d be back in the Crows jersey in two days. His team had done rather well even without him, but he couldn’t wait to be on the ice with them again and do his part as well.

Even in the sky box and during the game, he was approached by members of the staff, by the owner, and whoever else was there. It was usually reserved for former players, friends and family, and occasionally, Jan van Eck was to be found here as well. Luckily, he wasn’t showing his face tonight, so Jesper was safe.

When he got home, Jesper collapsed on the sofa and stretched out his limbs. He used his feet to get his shoes off and just let them drop to the floor. He hadn’t had time to check his phone again until now. When he saw Wylan’s name - and the picture of him with Comet that he’d attached to his contact information - he couldn’t suppress a smile even if he wanted to.

That’s wonderful news Jesper!

He’d thought the same, but he had to admit to himself that he was a little nervous. Most of the time, he was able to overplay these things, to make people believe that he was cool, calm and collected, but some people were able to see right through this layer of confidence. Some people broke down these walls around him, and Wylan kind of did that without even realising it.

You’ll be at the game, right?

Asking Wylan this made him feel vulnerable, but he had to know. He could have been flirty about this, could have made a joke, but he didn’t. Maybe, because he was too tired, or maybe because it would mean so much to him.

If you want me there, I’ll be there.

Jesper may have squealed, though he’d never admit that out loud.

I really do. I’m kind of nervous to go on the ice again to be honest, and I think having you there will be good.

It was too honest, wasn’t it? Jesper feared that it was, especially because they hadn’t talked about what this between them was, what they wanted. But did they really need to know that? Right now? His thoughts were interrupted when Wylan texted back, making Jesper’s heart kick against his chest.

I understand you. I really do. I was so scared to do my first routine after my injury, but it worked out, didn’t it? Besides, you have your whole team supporting you and a lot of other people. And you’re playing at home, so the fans will do their part as well. And then you have me.

That last bit really got him and reminded him of what he’d thought earlier, that want and need to put a mark on Wylan, the possessiveness showing that way, though he had no right to call him his. Still, it had been there, and Wylan’s words played right into that as well.

You really know how to lift my spirits! It’s late, so you should get some sleep. I definitely need it now. Good night Wy xx

With a groan, Jesper got up from the sofa and stretched, before he moved to the kitchen to grab a bottle of water. He got ready for bed, all the while wearing a smile on his lips. Wylan’s message was the last thing he read before he fell into bed.

I’m glad to hear that. Sleep sounds like a good idea. Good night Jes xx

[hoffstrap-yuri]

Passing Through

ao3 // masterlist

*Summary: “Sir… I’m afraid we’re going to have to ask you to turn around, and drop your pants.” Hoffman didn't think this situation could get any worse. (Saw AU for the Mule 2014)

*Rating: M for Mature Audiences

*Content/Tags: Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, AU, Alternate Universe, Drugs, Drug Trafficking, Crime

*Status: Chapter 1 of 3/COMPLETE. Chapter 2 can be found here. Chapter 3 can be found here.

Author's Note: So uhhh this won't be as graphic as The Mule 2014 but it's still an AU based on the movie. This is still a fucking nasty idea that my friend @cubestrahm wanted to see come to fruition so badly and I'd do anything for her <3

“Sir… I’m afraid we’re going to have to ask you to turn around, and drop your pants.” A security agent cleared his throat. The man sighed as he was stripped of any sense of shame and stripped for the two agents. The agents behind him silently pantomimed ‘rock, paper, scissors’ over who was going to examine the man’s ass and see if in fact he was being used as a mule. The man clearly lost and moved closer to their detainee. He grabbed a glove and started to probe the other man. “Nothing.”

“Right. So can I go?” The man finally said, pulling his pants back up.

“Well… no.” The agent replied, “Wait here with Officer Martinez.”

“Fine.” He sighed in response. The female officer stood across from him in the holding room as he crossed his arms in front of his chest. John was going to kill him if this took any longer. The brand new clock hanging just over the door frame told him it was 3:23. He and Amanda were supposed to meet John’s driver at the airport at 3:09. He ran his hand through his hair as he waited in silence with this worker. The door opened and rather than letting him go free, there were two more serious looking agents. Another woman and man duo. The woman approached him and said sternly,

“Mark Hoffman, you’re under arrest for the transportation of illegal substances into the United States.” She slapped his wrist with handcuffs and pulled him out to a separate interrogation room. This was definitely going to take longer than a few minutes.

---

Mark Hoffman hadn’t wanted to do this. He didn’t just wake up one day and had an urge to fill his stomach up with a crap ton of cocaine filled condoms just for shits and giggles. The real reason he was doing it was simple. He’d gotten involved with one of John Kramer’s little sidekicks, Amanda. The girl had a mouth on her and an attitude to match. When Mark was about to pick her up she spat in his face and tried leaving a size seven boot mark on the beat cop’s face. He was able to restrain her, but the girl screamed, kicked and bit at Mark’s direction like a feral animal afraid to be put down. He kept a foot firm on the back of her neck as he managed to wrestle away a wallet from her pocket that had her real id on her. She wasn’t even thirty. Just a couple of months younger than his own sister, Angelina. He knew that he should book her. Hell some people in his department might add on a resisting arrest and assault of a police officer just to really stick it to the woman. He pulled her back up onto her feet, only for her to charge him blindly. The wind got knocked out of him as his back made contact with a brick wall. He took his hands and placed them firmly on her shoulders.

“Stop. I’m not going to arrest you. If you just fucking calm down…” He told her as she tried to fight free from his hands. She stopped long enough to hear the morally dubious cop out.

“What the hell do you want from me then, huh? You want me to jerk you off?” She snarled at him

“No. Just promise me you’ll go to rehab.”

“It can’t be that easy.” She rolled her eyes and laughed at him

“It’s that easy. I’ll take you right now to a clinic.”

“Fine.” She huffed as Hoffman pulled her into his squad car. He pulled up to a clinic he was familiar with and opened the door for her. She crawled out from the back and waited outside for a second while he got back into his car. With a heavy sigh, she trudged towards the door and that was the last that Hoffman thought he’d ever see of her. Clearly the lesson didn’t stick.

---

“Mark Hoffman. Police…”

“Detective.” Mark piped up

“… Detective.” The man corrected himself. He couldn’t hide the rolling of his eyes as the ‘detective’ insisted upon the distinction between his role and that of a beat cop. “Anyway, I’m Agent Peter Strahm, and this is my partner Lindsey Perez. We’ve got your file here. Graduated from police academy at 20… been at your precinct your whole career. Why the hell would you risk all that just to smuggle some fucking drugs into the country?”

“You’re operating on the assumption that I’m carrying drugs on me.”

“Well we’ve already searched your luggage, and there wasn’t anything there…” The female agent started. While her partner stayed seated across from Hoffman, she paced the room behind him like a shark circling its kill. Hoffman was all too familiar with the tactic as an officer of the law.

“Again. You’re operating under the assumption that I am acting as a drug mule. The only problem with your assumption is… that you’re entirely wrong.” Hoffman shrugged. He saw the blood veins starting to pop out of the male agent’s forehead before he took a deep breath.

“Listen.” He said, with one last appeal at Hoffman’s sense of justice. “Just tell us now, you might get slapped on the wrist. Five to ten years if you rat out the person you’re carrying for.”

“I would, if I had an inkling what you were talking about.” Hoffman replied. Strahm threw his hands up in the air and stepped out into the hallway, probably to call his and Perez’s supervisor. Perez leaned in against the table as her partner stood on the other side of the wall. Not a word was exchanged between the two of them until Strahm stepped back into the room.

“Legal precedence says we’re allowed to detain you for up to 4 days or until you’ve emptied your bowels twice. Or you could just submit to an x-ray scan.”

“And my answer will be the same as it was in security, I don’t want a scan.”

“Fine. Then you’ll be joining us in a nice little hotel room.” Strahm slapped the cuffs back onto Hoffman’s wrists and walked around the table to pull the suspect up onto his feet.

“Kinky.” Mark muttered under his breath. The two detectives looked at him, but neither managed to pick up what he had said. They paraded him out of the airport proper and shoved him into a shitty Chevy caprice, Agent Strahm’s if Mark had to take a wild stab in the dark. He watched out the window as five different lanes of traffic merged down into three then two to get them out of the airport. They drove approximately five miles from the airport and pulled into a second-rate hotel’s parking lot. Lindsey tucked Hoffman’s head under the door frame as she pulled him out and the agents dragged him up to a room somewhere in the middle of the hotel. From a glance, Hoffman saw no one but federal agents in the hallways, they probably bought out this floor to keep him from escaping in the dead of night. Strahm opened the door for Hoffman before shoving the bulkier man into the room. It was bare-bones. A bed, a bathroom, and a TV. Everything a businessman could need between flights out of town. Lindsey manhandled him in a similar fashion when a third agent showed up behind the two of them and sat down in the chair across from Mark’s bed.

“Here’s the rules. Either you stay here for four days straight under constant surveillance by either Perez, Agent Erickson, or myself or you submit to an x-ray exam. Whichever one comes first.” Strahm explained. “Get comfortable. You’re going to lose your mind if you don’t find someway to occupy your time here.”

“Thanks for the tip, counselor.” Hoffman rolled his eyes at the special agent’s fake pleasantries.

“If you need to use the bathroom, you tell Agent Erickson. If you need food, Erickson.” Peter continued. Hoffman opened his mouth to say something sarcastic, but kept it shut when he realized it probably wouldn’t look good in a court case if he had mouthed off to the agent more than he had already had. He honestly thought, ‘and if I need a hand job, Erickson’ was pretty funny in his head. If only Strahm had any sense of humor. He slid back onto the bed and stared up at the ceiling of his room. So this would be his cell for the next half a week. He only hope he could hold in the drugs long enough to get through these next four days.

---

“I’m home.” Hoffman kicked his shoes off by the door, yelling into the house. His calls go unanswered for a moment, but then his sister shouted something. “I can’t hear you, Ang.”

“I said I’m in here!” She yelled back. He followed her voice and found her in the process of cleaning her room. “Hi Mark.”

“Hi Ang.” He leaned against the door frame before asking her, “What are you up to?”

“Just reorganizing my closet.” A sweater flew past his face for emphasis on his sister’s point.

“I see. What do you want for dinner?”

“Anything’s fine.” She hummed to a tune rotating through her mental library. “Oh by the way…”

“Yeah?”

“Some guy stopped by earlier. Said you knew someone named Amanda and that she had work for you?”

“I don’t know an ‘Amanda’.” He played coy, even though he vividly remembered the addict he’d put into rehab. Or so he thought. What kind of ‘work’ did she have for him? “Thanks for taking that.”

“You’re welcome. He left a tape player, it should be on the kitchen table.”

“I’ll check it out.” He turned on his heels back to the kitchen and grabbed the player off the table to listen.

“Hello Detective.” A low voice started. Even in her deepest imitation of a man’s voice, Amanda couldn’t have recorded this. “You don’t know me, but I am the man who Amanda works for. I’m sure you and your co-workers have been eager to put a stop to my empire. You took pity on Amanda and for that I thank you, however ‘thanks’ doesn’t run a business. Meet with her tomorrow at 2 at the bar around the corner from your precinct to discuss the work you’ll be doing for me. You might ask yourself ‘Why would I work for a criminal when I’m a man of the law?’ and I will tell you right now. It’s your love for you sister. The only tether you have to this world. I will break said tether if you decide that you think you’re better than me and try to avoid my job I’ve given to you.” Like that the tape stopped. Mark flipped it over just to make sure there wasn’t anything else recorded on the opposite side of the tape. Something that could pinpoint where this asshole was and take him in before the meeting was supposed to take place but he listened in vain. He slide the player away from him and paced the kitchen. He tried to think of something he could do that would prevent Angie from being a causality in his lapse in judgment, now coming back to bite him in the ass. He ran his fingers through his hair before Angie interrupted his thoughts in person this time,

“It can’t be that hard to figure out what pizza shop you want to order from tonight.” She smiled at him

“Pick whichever one you want.” He sighed

“You okay?”

“Yeah. Rough day at work.” He lied to her. The less she knew about this whole deal the better.

“Okay. I’ll call in the order, but you’re driving to get it.” She laughed

“That’s fine.” He shrugged, trying to bask in the warmth of her presence and calm himself down. The rest of the night was uneventful, but Mark didn’t get a bit of sleep. As he was told, he showed up to the bar. There was no one in the bar except Amanda. She looked oddly calm.

“Detective.” Her expression was blank… he didn’t know if that was an improvement over the feral animal he ‘saved’ that day or if this was just some lobotomized version of the woman.

“Just get to the point. What does your guy need from me?”

“John. His name is John.” She spit at him. The pieces started falling into place in Hoffman’s mind. Her boss was John Fucking Kramer. His body went frigid. His whole department had been searching for the man for at least five years, and now this man had Hoffman in his sights. Worst than that, Angie was in the crossfire because of him and his compassion for someone that reminded him a bit too much of his sister.

“Fucking hell” were the only words that he was able to sputter out.

“Yeah.” Her expression turned into a crooked smile as she saw the wheels spinning in the detective’s head.

“What does John want from me?”

“Simple. You’re coming with me to Thailand and we’re bringing back drugs for John.” She told him like it was a trip to the corner store.

“Are you two fucking insane? I don’t even have a passport…”

“Already taken care of.” She slipped a royal blue document from her pants pocket and shoved it into Mark’s hand

“How did you get my info to forge this?”

“It’s amazing what you can find out with just a badge number, Detective.” She started to walk away from him

“Wait.” He turned towards her. She stopped and faced him once more, crossing her arms in front of her. “When are we going?”

“Next week. Meet me here.”

“Fine.” He grumbled and went back to work like that whole exchange hadn’t happened

---

The trip was uneventful. Many people in his life had told Mark that he should visit Thailand one day. He’d love the beaches, the food, the culture… and he got none of that. Amanda dragged his ass at butt o’clock in the morning to the supplier, making him wait for what felt like hours in five minutes as she grabbed a duffel bag’s worth of cocaine. She took him back to the hotel and explained how he was going to smuggle the cocaine back into the States. She spent nearly 3 hours tying up condoms full of the drugs and placed it before Mark. He only half-listened to the woman before her hand was on his thick throat and the other was forcing down the first balloon through his mouth. He nearly choked on the foreign intrusion before mouthing off to her.

“You could have warned me first.”

“Call it a right of passage. Open back up.” Her grip stayed firm on his neck. He begrudgingly opened his lips up for her and she took a handful this time and pushed it into his mouth. His throat had never hurt so badly. Tears escaped from the corners of his eyes until it was finally over. He ran a hand over his stomach, it didn’t feel like there was anything inside of him. Would they all just burst out of him at once like a chest buster with one wrong breath? “And this….” Amanda shook a nondescript bottle at him before taking out four pills. Rather than fight it again he swallowed them. “That should block you up for long enough… but just in case your fat ass goes through it faster…” Another four pills went down the hatch. He barely had time to recover before the woman shoved his passport into his hand and threw his bags at him. They got onto the plane without a word spoken between them, and Amanda all but abandoned him during security. They had a set timeline that they needed to get to John’s car by. When his bag didn’t show up and he looked at his watch. He didn’t have time to wait, so he booked it through security. Just as he thought he was in the clear was when the illusion all came crashing down. And that was why he was here now.

[artsyaech]

[image ID: a flag with five vertical stripes. the colors are from left to right: dark purple, violet, sky blue, cyan and mint green. in the middle of the flag is a mint green circle with a dark purple scalloped outline. around it is a dark purple circular outline. end ID]

concreconceptum

[PT: concreconceptum]

attraction to concrete concepts. basically being attracted to the concept of a tangible object, rather than the object itself.

for example: being attracted to the concept of balloons, rather than balloons thenselves.

alternatively, this term can be used to describe being attracted to a concept related to an object.

for example: being attracted to piano music, rather than pianos themselves.

term and flag by me

tagging: @object-concept-archive

[image ID: a banner with the sonneflorian flag as a background. It is an eleven-striped flag, with the colors, from top to bottom, being blue, pastel blue, pale blue, golden, orange, black, orange, golden, pale mint green, teal, and evergreen. the banner reads, in pastel blue lowercased block text, "read my dni before interacting". there is a symbol of a small bunch of sunflowers on the left side of the banner. END ID.]

[coconutcows]

Hello fellow fans and collectors, I have a question!!!

Is there a site or something similar for identifying Monster High accessories, clothes, shoes, etc????

If there isn’t (that anyone knows of) I’d like to make one, a database of sorts, so anyone who wants to identify doll pieces can go to that instead of posting somewhere and hoping someone will be able to ID it.

My thoughts right now are to start it as a tumblr sideblog because I can’t afford a website and don’t have much tech know how on programming and things. My biggest issue with using Tumblr for this is that it’s search function is pretty Shit so if anyone knows any alternatives please let me know (or a tumblr theme that lets you have links to other pages, then I could make separate pages for characters or accessories for people to go through rather than relying on search).

My plan is to take pictures solely of different pieces and face ups with a description underneath as well to be accessible. Each image would be tagged with the Character, specific doll, and type of accessory so for example “Draculaura, Original Signature Draculaura, MH Earrings” for Dracs safety pin earrings.

I have a sizeable collection myself for getting decent images of everything, but I don’t have everything. One of the reasons I’m thinking of Tumblr is to get some help from the community on pieces and dolls I don’t have, I suppose I could make a google doc to simplify things if anyone wants to help? That may be the easiest way for people to submit pictures easily if they wanted to help (I’d give photo credit too). And if anyone wanted a specific item ID’d they could send it in an ask. I also have ample time to go through stock images myself to ID things, so I can do most of the IDing myself

Anyways, if you read all this thank you!! Please please please respond if you have any thoughts or opinions this is something I’d really like to do if it’s not already out there. The focus would be MH for now

[fantasy-store]

Crepuscule Birose

An addition to the skyset pride series, my take on the birose flag and an alternative to use rather than a replacement.

Those who are bisexual and biromantic may call themselves birose, those who use this label are welcome to use additional labels. be it lesbian, gay, aro, ace, youre still allowed to call yourself bi. this orientation includes both sexual and romantic attraction to two or more genders but does not strictly have to be attraction to boys and girls, or girls and nonbinary folk or boys and nonbinary folk.

Dusk Bisexual

An addition to the skyset pride series, my take on the bisexual flag and an alternative to use rather than a replacement.

this label is inclusive of anyone who may be aspec or use some other queer labels in addition to being bisexual. this sexuality includes attraction to two or more genders but does not strictly have to be attraction to boys and girls, or girls and nonbinary folk or boys and nonbinary folk etc. no matter what other label you use in addition to bisexual, you are still valid and welcome to use the label.

Dawn Biromantic

An addition to the skyset pride series, my take on the biromantic flag and an alternative to use rather than a replacement.

this label is inclusive to all aspec and/or mspec folk who may also identify as biromantic. similar to bisexual, one might be romantically attracted in some way/extent to two or more genders no mater the combo of or preference one may or may not have towards genders theyre attracted to.

tagging for reach/notes: feel free to be asked to be removed from or added to the taglist

@archival-arrival, @acetrappolaswife, @iloveleeks2, @queersrus, @kitti-coining, @polyfragmentedchaos, @zelle-exe, @bi-lesbian, @gender-mailman, @delightfulweepingwillows

[id: a green to white gradient box with a gif of candles and witchcraft tools on a shelf in the background and dark green text on top of the image reading "dni if transx/transid, radqueer, terf. more in pinned post. free to use/identify so long as you respect my boundaries. exclusive terms/flags are non-debatable". :end id]

[shvkespearc]

fun facts about da blogger

Tagged by @elizabeth-karenina for ANOTHER ASK POST <3

1. why did you choose your url?

special interest williyum shakespeare...simply. i have had many urls. many many. someone out there may recall: kit1564, daarcy, kitmaarlowe, darcy-alexander, lavender--lover, adraelian, king-of-irises, old-ass-gandalf (favorite) and several others.... OH MY GOD alexander-hamiltons-gr8-butt. alternative design: alexander-hamiltons-spooky-butt. god take me out back and shoot me

2. any sideblogs? if you have them name them and why you have them.week.

@lordbyron666 is my kind of miscellaneous fandom memes etc. blog where i reblog things i dont particularly want to reblog to main. i started it in like 2017(?) when i became more of an aesthetic blog but QUITE HONESTLY i find myself using it less these days. i fink ive stopped giving a fuck

@1seafoam cottagecore ISH side blog, mostly for comfort pleasant images. soothing space for my panic disorder having ass.

@vnge11 art blog i DONT REALLY USE. though i do stay drawing. i just dont post much. i once had an art blog in 2014/5(?) , which actually became the lordbyron666 blog.

3. how long have you been on tumblr?

i made my blog in july 2012 and started as a black and white grunge blogger + memes. me now quite honestly like the vibe is still there. my best friend at the time (RIP) made me make one. i remember i had a music player and she said that it was "good, just not really tumblr"... i remember having like a galaxy background at one point when i started to get into it.... then over the years i had like a VERY CUSTOMIZED INSANE BLOG like with gifs and transparent things and pixel buddies AND MUSIC PLAYER. my friends would say they couldnt load my blog but i never had a problem 😤

4. do you have a queue tag?

i BELIEVE it's 'q' but i don't use the queue feature.

5. why did you start your blog in the first place?

re: my friend made me make one, but i think i really enjoyed it being a place where i could collect moody feelings (and laffs). then i joined a few fandoms (polite way of saying homestuck) and it felt more and more like a community and fun.

6. why did you choose your icon/pfp?

ethel cain w a shotgun. not much else to be said

7. why did you choose your header?

bjork writhing around on the floor kind of a no brainer to me. absolute vibe absolute mood.

8. what’s your post with the most notes?

OOUAAGHH i think it's either my vampire uquiz orrrrrr ugh idk there is like a handful of random ass posts that have blown up. it's all fun and games until people are weird in the replies and you see yourself screenshotted on imgur. ALSO i think i just don't like when they resurface years later and i'm like STOP SPREADING IT AROUND IM NOT THAT PERSON ANYMORE ID NEVER SAY THAT!!!!

9. how many mutuals do you have?

i dont know! i dont know!!! i just recognize people on my dash or in my notes but whether or not we follow each other and specifically enjoy one anothers content. I DONT KNOW

10. how many followers do you have?

in da 4-digits. enough that i get not 0 notes but about 2 notes per post.

11. how many people do you follow?

700-something. i like to follow more rather than less people cause following many blogs is the key to a healthy dashboard ecosystem.

12. have you ever made a shitpost?

every day of my life

13. how often do you use tumblr each day?

i look at my activity daily but i dont ALWAYS scroll every day anymore. but usually every day ish at least for a minute

14. did you have a fight/argument with another blog once?

i am sure... now the idea of "fighting" on tumblr.com is so hilarious to me. bro this is website. clown on clown violence

15. how do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this’ posts

i do not do it... but those "REBLOG IF YOU ARE NOT A HOMOPHONE" posts really hit in 2013

16. do you like tag games?

YA. however sometimes i get too overwhelmed and say i will do it and then never do <3

17. do you like ask games?

YA. however sometimes i g-

18. which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

WHICH OF YOU SHOULDERS THE GREATEST BURDEN? IE: FOLLOWER COUNT? it is unknown to me... i just work here

19. do you have a crush on a mutual?

no...but i am not immune to getting attention on the internet from a Cool Profile disease

20. tags

👉👈 do it if you wana

[gayphob1a]

I'm in Love with the Way You Always Come Around

Chapter relevant tags: angst, hurt/comfort, miscommunication, brief mention of needles, masturbation, flagging

Part 1 - Summer of '86

If you had asked three years ago, Steve Harrington would have said Hawkins, Indiana summer was absolutely lovely. Most summers his parents were gone on frequent business trips and almost never set foot in their small-town mansion. It was the perfect setting for parties, getting shit-faced with his friends off of 30 year old scotch from his dad’s reserve. Summer was when he didn’t have to worry about grades or sports or prom royalty, he could just live. And maybe his friends were grade-A assholes, and maybe he was too, but summer was when he could slip away from them and try to appreciate the world around him. He would have told you the forests offered a cool shade, and hiking trails to scenic outcroppings in the hills to watch the rich sunsets. He would have told you the place was safe and normal. Maybe even boring at times, that sun beams shone down upon the town like a beacon from heaven, basking them in golden light and heat enough to warm the quarry to the perfect swimming temperature.

Steve loved the quarry. 

Used to love the quarry.

When Will Byers’ body was pulled out of the water, everything changed. Steve learned that there were much bigger things to worry about than parties and popularity. Namely alternate-dimension, flesh eating monsters. He learned that being an asshole was a waste of time because people were literally dying. He learned that Hawkins was most definitely not safe or normal, but definitely boring. Especially now that the quarry was shroud in mystery, newspaper’s filling the stands with titles like: “Missing Boy Found Dead in Quarry” and “Will Byers Returns, Identity of Found Body Unknown”. The forests were dull, trails stomped over and erased by search parties, no couples running to greet a new day in each other’s arms. 

To cope with the crippling boredom, fear, insomnia, Steve started taking little trips as soon as he turned 18 and got his first fake ID. In the neighboring city were a couple clubs he’d heard got pretty lively. He wasn’t sure if that was by Hawkins standards or what, but it sounded interesting, so he checked it out. What he wasn’t expecting were the crowds of couples, sweaty and grinding and so unabashedly themselves. And then he realized these couples, most of them anyway, were men and women. But not like, men and women- men, and women. 

Holy shit this is a gay club. 

It didn’t bother him. Rather, he felt his whole chest get lighter and fill with excitement. He was safe here. Safe to be an open bisexual disaster and take a cute boy away to a cheap motel nearby.

He learned a lot on his frequent trips to the club, about the culture and community being bi offered, about sex and the entire world he had been missing out on in Hawkins, about flagging and bdsm and Eddie. 

Steve noticed Eddie. He always did. From the first year Eddie showed up in Hawkins, Steve was fascinated with the boy. He was loud, unapologetically so, and Steve didn’t know how someone could be so openly themself. When he was in highschool, he found himself staring when Eddie would make a scene on the lunch tables or talk back to a teacher, making a spectacle of his detention sentence. He thought he might be in love with the man from years of just observing Eddie and his devil-may-care attitude, he wondered sometimes how long it would take him to break it. But after the club, he noticed Eddie’s bandana. In the left pocket. Dominant. He’d thought about getting one himself, sending Eddie some kind of sign from afar, but that left pocket warded him off. After that, he distanced himself from Eddie, made sure to avoid places he knew Eddie would be. He couldn’t let himself be hopelessly in love with the man when all he wanted to do was hold him down and make him beg, when he knew what it was like to have a preference, and he knew what it was like when you were forced into a role that didn’t quite fit, so distance was his solution.

Spring break kind of ruined that when Dustin came crashing through the doors of Family Video, ready to start a full search party for Eddie. Steve acted aloof, standoffish, tried to actually believe he felt that way, but he was scared shitless. Eddie couldn’t get dragged into this.

But he did, and Steve fell all over again. That funny flicker in his stomach turned into an all out raging flame when Eddie pinned him down to the boathouse wall, and Steve wasn’t much of a bottom, but in that moment he thought he might be for Eddie. A fleeting thought, but it happened nonetheless.

When Eddie nearly died in Steve’s arms, a part of Steve did too. The sounds of Dustin’s cries for help rang in his ears the entire time he was crying over Eddie’s body in his arms, overexerted physically and emotionally as he carefully pulled himself through the rift, face first with Eddie strapped to his back. Even more of him decayed as he held Eddie down and washed out his open wounds, making the man his heart was devoted to scream in agony. Sadly, it was that moment that he realized his heart was only Eddie’s. Hearing the way he sacrificed himself for Dustin… well, Dustin was Steve’s entire world, Eddie hung the moon and the stars when he saved him.

They were in a highly restricted, Upside Down clearance level hospital together for three months after that. Steve really only needed to be there for a week or two while they made sure the infection in his bites didn’t turn septic or… worse. But Eddie was much worse off, so Steve stayed in the bed next to him the entire time.

 Eddie’s sides were bitten so deeply that both of his kidneys were ruined. He was hooked up to machines doing his body's job for him while they waited for a transplant. Steve tried to donate one of his, but the chances they were a match were slim. He still insisted they do the tests, but as expected Eddie was going to have to wait. At least he was on a special priority list due to some government meddling.

They comforted each other a lot in those months. Steve’s nightmares were getting worse every night, and Eddie had the nurses move everything to one side of his bed so Steve’s could be moved closer to him. Eddie was in constant pain and refused to admit it, and Steve found himself noticing the signals of his different types of pain, calling nurses to administer more meds, taming Eddie when he turned into a needle weenie brat.

Actually, Eddie was a brat around Steve most of the time, and he goddamn loved it. Up until the day Eddie was released and the staff gave him the clothes he arrived in, Hellfire shirt hand mended. Eddie put them on instead of the hospital gown they’d both been accustomed to seeing and Steve was reminded oh yeah, he wears it in the left pocket. It crashed around him like pieces of a shattered bottle as the early signs of Hawkins summer started to roll in and they made their way to separate homes. No more closeness… or so they thought. 

Turns out Dr. Owens wasn’t able to ‘make everything disappear,’ as he claimed so highly, several times. So, Eddie still had a warrant out and there was a goddamn reward on his head. Why they were still stuck with Owens and his useless underlings baffled the group, Hopper especially after hearing what he’d done to El while he was held prisoner in Russia, but what was one more blow to their already fragile souls, right? With the trailer destroyed, Wayne gone, and flyers of his face everywhere, Eddie was forced to go into hiding in Hopper’s old cabin. It had been hidden and trapped enough to keep El secret, so it had to be safe. They planned to take turns- Hopper, Nancy, Joyce, Steve, always one at a time, always on backroads and covered by darkness- bringing Eddie food and supplies once a week, diligently scheduled when there would be no one on the roads. They planned it that way, so Eddie never had to feel his heart in his throat at footsteps in the leaves again or need to defend himself with a broken bottle.

Yet curiously, Steve let it happen to him again.. 

The late June air was just starting to get warmer. Summer was setting in, and Steve wanted to be excited, but what was there to be excited about anymore? He’d just woken up from his recurring nightmare of the night Eddie almost died, except his efforts to save Eddie only made things worse. He knows he did the right thing – the doctors told him Eddie wouldn’t have made it to the hospital if it weren’t for Steve’s field work, but waking up from that dream made him cling to Eddie’s side sobbing every time. Now there’s no Eddie to hold on to. Instead, he holds onto his shirt, fist twisting the sweaty fabric while he heaves labored breaths. Alone in his room, with no physical proof of Eddie’s warm body, it’s easy to convince himself the dream wasn’t just a dream.

Steve needed Eddie. He needed to know he was alive and recovering and warm. The feeling of Eddie’s cold body was so haunting. He didn’t really know what he was doing when he threw some sweatpants and sneakers on, grabbing his keys on his way out the door. He didn’t really know what he was doing when he drove to the backroads leading to Hopper’s cabin. He didn’t really know much except that he needed to see Eddie.

Continue reading on ao3

[neopronouns]

flag id: a flag with 5 stripes, which are dark red, medium dark red, bright pinkish-red, medium dark red-pink, and dark pink. end id.

banner id: a 1500x150 teal banner with the words ‘please read my dni before interacting’ in large white text in the center. end id.

an alternate rubian flag for anon!

colors are taken from images of rubies — my intention was to make a flag that was less eyestrain-y than the original and included more shades of red and pink rather than just pure reds, since rubies can vary in shade.

tags: @radiomogai, @liom-archive, @orientation-archive, @narcette, @genderstarbucks, @sugar-and-vice-mogai | dni link

[wipbigbang]

This is Round Two of the Artist Claims for the 2023 round of WIPBB. You may claim up to three fics this round. If you want only one fic, please fill out the form once with your top choices. If you want two fics, fill out the form twice with your first choice in the first form submission with one unique ID and the second choice in another submission with a different unique ID.

The synopses are located at https://wipbigbang.dreamwidth.org/172201.html

The form is located at https://forms.gle/ES2D3d2mTG1nU4Pk6.

Round two of the art claims will go on until July 1st.

Generation Kill (TV)

#043

Title: Bradley the Damned

Pairing/Characters: Bradley Colbert/Nathaniel Fick, Ray Person/Walt Hasser

Rating Explicit | E

Warnings/Tags: Graphic Violence, Murder-mystery, supernatural creature/elements

Alternative Universe/History, vaguely set around 1900, incorrect Egyptian archeology/lore, Viking lore.

Summary: Returning to England upon the death of the only father he’s ever known, Lord Nathaniel Fick has braced himself for a return to a society that he never really has felt a member of. He’d much rather be off on one of his Uncle’s archeological adventures than running the family business.

Luckily, it seems that adventure has followed his Uncle to England.

[ymfingsteadilyon]

Image description 1:

Tumblr tags from theThingyThing reading: #plants #oh god I tried looking this up and from what I can tell the pollen is a gametophyte? #if I'm understanding that correctly then does that mean the pollen is like... the offspring of the plant it came from #and then whatever seeds come from the pollen fertilising the female structures are the next generation after that??? #like if a plant produces seeds are they technically its grandchildren rather than its children or am I just extremely confused? #what the fuck is going on with plant reproduction /End ID] (Thank you @kariachi)

Image 2:

#shoutout to the time we were learning about alternation of generation in moss in high school bio #and i – worldbuilding a homebrew D&D setting at the time – came up with the BRILLIANT idea to have a dragon that alternated generations #basically there's this huge dragon that lives in like super cloudy regions that don't see a lot of sun right #and it's like this reddish-scarlet color and has these patches on its body that bioluminesce blue #and then when the dragon mates and lays an egg the egg sinks into the ground and sprouts roots because it's actually a seed right #and then the seed grows into a plant that actually looks a lot like the dragon #this is so it can photosynthesize off the blue light the dragon generation emits okay #THEN when the plant flowers and self-fertilizes and grows a seed #the seed actually grows into an egg that then hatches into a dragon #so it alternates generation between being a flower and a dragon. what kingdom of life is this thing? #a protist probably

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Nothing like inhaling massive amounts of plant semen all summer

*grabs you by the shoulders* listen don’t get it twisted you CANNOT get it twisted. those are plant penises, NOT the sperm. once the pollen lands on the female structure in question, THEN it germinates and makes the sperm. do you know how many college biology students are threatened by this misinformation each year?? how many fall victim to the classic blunder??