#id be like fuck u and die and go to hell

[lilacandladybugs]

starting to think the only way the feminist movement can progress is by making sure that society supports and takes care of men. guys are human beings who need to be loved and cherished, who need to have communities, who need to feel safe to express themselves and who need to be held to realistic standards. i think we should start giving girls more shit if they're being assholes to men for no reason. unsocialized, exiled, mentally ill men are dangerous. a society that supports them is safer, happier, better for everyone

[magnoliamyrrh]

.

[ironmanstan]

.

[29121996]

IF I SAY A FUCKING WORD .

[odysseys-blood]

every day my finances make me wanna kms i dont wanna do this adult shit no more

[milkneutrality]

Marble hornets not having much of a visually distinctive cast can be really frustrating, especially when ur first watching it. Then multiply that frustration 10x because of all the visual distortion/glitching. But nowadays I'm p thankful bcs wanting to make mh fanart is what pushed me to put more effort into drawing faces and making faces look distinctive from each other.

[midnightwriter21]

demon slayer hcs: the hashira men as boyfriends

characters: tengen, sanemi, giyuu, rengoku, muichiro, obanai

AN: i don’t write for gyomei srry

TENGEN

- this isn’t just a little fling

-mans doesn’t wanna be ur bf

-he wants to be your HUSBAND

- and he’s gonna make that happen ASAP

- and when y’all get married you’re not just getting a husband

- ur getting 3 wives too

- it’s a package deal

- overprotective!!

- the way he made his wives promise to prioritize their lives over the mission

- my heart was bursting

- carries u around

- when tengen is around ur feet hardly ever touch the floor

- doesn’t matter how big or tall u are

- he’s bigger and taller

-he's big all over if ykyk

-nicknames include: sweetheart, princess, baby

- and don’t think he’s saying those to be cute

- he’s absolutely mocking you

-which brings me to…

- this man teases the HELL out of you

- but with love

- he loves you just as much as he loves his wives

- in his mind ur alrdy married

- and he is NOT letting you go

- or letting any harm come to you as long as he can help it

- 4 lifer fr

- id marry him

SANEMI

-i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again

-he’d tear it UP

-and i’d let him

- loves you so much

- doesn’t show it in public

- but in private?

- clingy as fUck

- he’s like ur shadow fr

- will follow u around all day

- hands on ur waist

- arm around ur shoulder

- holding ur hand

- he will not let go of u when ur alone

- in public he’s a lot less touchy

- but he will still stand near you

- jealous af

- every slayer knows by now to stay tf away from you or face the wrath of the wind pillar

- you belong to him

- makes sure they know it

- makes sure you know it

-hickey MASTER

-no i will not elaborate

- everybody knows sanemi is a little rough around the edges

- so there are days when it’s hard for him to open up to you

- but he does try

- he’s got a reputation to keep up!

-gotta act tough

-no weaknesses!!

- except for u

-he’s so soft for u he can’t help it

- nicknames: dumbass, idiot, & feather (my personal favorite)

-like i said he is almost always physically connected to u in some way when ur alone

-ignore him? he's throwing u over his shoulder

-he's strong he can manhandle u all over the place

-sheeeeeshhhhh manhandle me however u want sir

-claims ur super light no matter ur size

-hence the nickname "feather"

-i love him

GIYUU

-ik damn well this man had EVERONE in a chokehold from the first second he showed up

-speaking of chokeholds... ;)

-put me in one pls sir

-anyways

-awkward as fuck

-but he tries for u

-terrible with physical affection

-but we all know he's SOOO touch starved

-you'll have to initiate any type of physical touch

-and make sure he's not uncomfortable

-but really there's nothing he wants more than to touch you

-takes a very long time to say "i love you"

-but can u blame him??

-every good thing the poor man has ever had has been ripped away from him :(

-because of this he's veryyyy protective

-cause he'll be damned if the last person he has that accepts him and loves him for all he is

-is hurt or killed

-100% will die for u without a second thought

-not really a nickname type of guy

-remember he's awkward as hell

-most you'll get is a "-chan" attached to ur name

-and even that is only when y'all are alone

-but still

-even if he doesn't always show it

-you are always on his mind

-he's on a mission and walking through a market?

-he's buying you a hairpin or som

-walking through a forest and sees some flowers?

-"i wonder if she'll like these"

-AND HE'S PICKING U A BOUQUET

-ugh soft for bf giyuu

RENGOKU

-sunshine boy!!!

- epitome of golden retriever boyfriend

-all smiles all the time

-follows u around like lost puppy

-shows off for u

-yk when ur around kids and they're like "watch this" and then they jump and spin a circle lmao

-thats him

-"did you see what i just did?!"

-if u didnt...

-he's doing it again

-wants to impress you so bad

-also you will never have to lift a finger in his presence

-service bf!!

-you need the dishes washed and the floor swept?

-he's on it

-you need help styling ur hair?

-welcome to rengoku's hair salon

-will attempt to dress you in the morning

-and by dress you, i mean he's tugging ur shirt over ur head

-zipping up ur pants

-and tying ur shoes

-brags about you to anyone and everyone

-the other hashira can't have a single conversation with him without him bringing you up somehow

-compliments compliments compliments!!!

-he loves you and isn't afraid to show it

-nicknames from him: my love, my beautiful girl, sweetheart

-constantly confessing his love

-also lowkey speaks poetry for u

-some shit like

-"my light in the darkness, the one who gives me strength, you set my heart ablaze just by allowing me the privilege of seeing your smile"

-ugh he's the sweetest baby

MUICHIRO

-my airheaded angel baby

-i love him sm stop

-baby boy has a terrible memory

-that we alrdy knew

-but!

-he tries so hard for you

-keeps a little journal with notes and information about you

-so if he forgets he can remind himself over and over

-when he's on missions away from you he reads it so he can think about you to pass the time

-can not and will not remember anniversaries

-unless they're written in that journal

-will pick u flowers

-hope ur not allergic cause he's not gonna remember that

-but it's the thought that counts

-the fact that he's thinking about you at all counts

-you wanna go on a date?

-your dates consist of watching the clouds and taking naps together

-maybe a picnic if ur lucky

-no nicknames from him

-he calls you by your name

-its all he can remember

-he's the cutest

OBANAI

-like sanemi, he's a lot less affectionate in public

-however, he's not afraid to express his thoughts about you

-at least not to the other hashira

-might not be glued to your side

-but he's got eyes on u at all times

-and someone is talking about you?

-the second he hears ur name leave somebodies mouth

-he's tuned in

-and they better not say anything negative either

-mans turns murderous

-they will wake up to a snake in their bed

-will prob threaten them within an inch of their life

-don't have to worry abt other people while he's around

-cause he's got everything

-and i mean EVERYTHING taken care of

-protective but not pushy

-i feel like obanai trusts you and your ability to handle yourself

-but thats not gonna stop him from watching over you

-you're not drinking enough water?

-here comes obanai with a cup and u better drink it all

-haven't had lunch yet?

-he's sharing his with you. and will force feed u if need be.

-on a mission with him?

-he's not gonna push u behind him or anything

-but nothing is gonna get the chance to bring any harm to you either

-he's got ur back

-he's pretty vanilla with the nicknames

-nothing too crazy

-especially in public

-mostly uses ur first name

-might add a "-chan" in there every once in a while

-when ur alone he'll call you "sweetie"

-acts like a hard ass

-but he's soft for u

[istherewifiinhell]

scheduled hopefully for appropriate insanity causing hours

304 cant believe everyone in gin.tama just lives like this. the. speech convictions dramatic childhood flashbacks promises lifestyle. not just for main characters i guess (is this guy the shogun.....)

yay yay yippppppe the guys. yay ayay yippeee flashbacks. DONT DIE.

kaaaaaaruga. always suspected. if i understood her more id be obsessed. Confirmed. 2 second in pulling that. i was waiting for ur weakness bullshit. BEAT UP UR OLDER BROTHER. (<- comma. gay? ) kagura born on this planet.... half a second of taka.gin grappling could sustain me for a life time (gin puts his hands on him to throw him) hey fellas i know this is the Sword Penis show but have u considered going at it meg.op. style. for me?

omg baby flashback leftest infighting. sugi ur not the most oppressed person in the world u know. well u would say that scholarship baby zura. diddddddd they shape each others ideologies like that. where they reading theory together as shitty little kids -> well prob not this show but lets indulge

oh right gin former. ghost eating thing. showing up to the school yard beef with a real sword.

HI SHOU.YOU. HI. his little pogchamps

loveeee how they do the blood in this show looks like velvet, alll dark shimmery. also the editing. wooooo.

bushido speech. this shit is cool actually. also leon.ardo the ninja turtle would love it (03)

zura giving him fooooood oh no. little. verbal redirects of kindness transparency

NOOOO SUGI beats gin for the first time clip NO NONO SUGI LAUGHING SLOW MO CLIP (already tearing up)

ahhhh the position of the school and the attitudes of the backgrounder kids actually very affecting and interesting isnt it.... shou.youuuuuuuu the man(thing) that u are....

ep. 305

theeeeee babies. the babies.... the babiest guys. so so charmedddd by them charmeddd again by how. unexpected? maybe. sugi and zura stick together.... the remainers..... kidtoki why are uuuu such a perfectly cromulent. thing. little. video game character ass look. perfect. shitty cool affect. wanna pinch his little cheeks 10/10 letting this kid be the leader of the playground gang.

shou.youuuuuu shou.youuuuuu. such a. believably. man with his complexities but hes being around children so (friendly voice) 'thats right. what do you think' sooooo. yeah immediately believes 100 thousand percent he means everything he says so truly yeah i probably would get. horrible weird trauma give the givens too

THROW THE SWORDS AWAY YAYYYYYY. flashback. ohhhhhhh sugi. i little. weird bitch (said in. desperate scrambling fondness. i love the things that are wrong with him)

gin boots are so hot...

SOMEONE INTIMATE TO CUT AND CURSE!!!!!!! ohhhhh babes (what could i possible say abt it that hasnt been said) well i hope they fuck themselves to death about it

fightscene styles gt vs tf <- place holder i left for myself. that will be extricated to a diff post.

gin scrambling in the blood and dirt under all the promises he has given his loved one. YES BABE. thats exactly what ur supposed to be going

ohhhhhh godddddddd the fucking beheading scene back to back from both of their perspectives oh jesus fuck oh hell. im going to. cut and curse at someone else. i guess. THANKS HIM. THANKS HIM FOR IT. (crying) cool. thats normal. i feel normal about the man (shou.you)(gin)

what the fuck. oboro real? thats fucked up. THATS WHO TAKES THE EYE? (knew this techincally) WHO THE FUCK IS OBORO. (am seeing him) why is he a grown ass man i thought he was a kicked dog of a boy.

SUGI. SUGI YOU DUMB BITCH (loves him)(loves intractable positions)(loves the emotional incommunicability of reality)(loves an emotional confliction you can never resolve and just have to die about) he did it to save u fucking losers. cause his fucking teacher dad man asked him too. and thanked him for the service. ohhhhh u miserable fucks

why did you SAVE US. say it like that. damn.

oh youd do anything. youd kill shou.you. youd kill sugi himself. just to save the student your teacher loved. okay. okay. jesus. so you are the same. so your exactly the same person. your saying things that dont even make sense youve both lost any plane of reality cause you cant separate the things youve lost from the things you have. the very people youve saved are now reflected in those youve lost and youll both kill them to keep them alive. okay. no yeah thats fine cool lol.

(i guess sugis version would technically be said in reverse, you cant separate what youve have from what youve lost and the very person you lost are reflect in the one who saved you. and to keep him alive (crying gin.toki) youd kill him)

and MOST IMPORTANTLY. because you are the same person. you see yourself in him and him in yourself and u cant figure out where you end and he begins and your diametric opposed mirror reflection goals that lead you to taking. the exact same actions. okay. lol. OKAY. lol.

WHO THE FUCK IS OBORO. GET OUT OF HERE FREAK. i was talking.

id alt. im always saying this. or even just. Why is Oboro.

ep 306

heyyyyyy kagura! hiiiiii. youre not dead yay! hi. older brother. youre still here.

squints ohhhh these are. the cops? mayo man and. is this the other canonical gay sex haver or. (only has the normalest of second hand knowledge)

'if im just gonna end up as fertilizer anyway, i dont care if my path there is paved by roses or thorns.' damn dude. get out of the fucking. whatever ur in. and go become a metal music lyricist. what the fuck

oh shin.pachi. ur in this show.

googling. cant figure it out. whoever this green zombie bitch is sounds familiar. wish he had a name or smth.

damn there really is space in this show huh. thats crazy thats crazy. planet of the big hats vs planet of. umbrellas? anyone wanna watch space military anime.....

shogun 'i will protect the country were my friends live' what kagura said abt the planet. 'and to fulfill that goal, you'll even endure the deaths of your friends here?' gestures at the shou.you trolley problem. wow. that is tidy. good job recursive gin.tama

why do you grip that broken sword. you killed your teacher. you battled your friend. - my enemy is right here. WEVE NEVER CHANGED. weve all been fighting our own selves. ill stop him. even if it means having to kill him. but im also the one who understands how he feels better than anyone else

ohhhhhh gin. tama. ohhhhh gin. toki. i love u. i love u so much for just. saying insane thesis shit. like. yeah! YEAH OKAY! yeah thats. making out sloppy style with the narrative theming <- what do i mean by that.

be it killing him or protecting him. their both my job (gets so hard i pass out)

gin: says the most homoerotic twisted identity shit ive ever heard in my life that rests solely on. how unextractable gin. and sugi both are from each other due to. their love of shou.you. and thus. reflectionally. each other. oboro: his students are burning with hatred. <- IS HE STUPID?

and second question. upon reflection, looking at this grown ass man thing. do we have a classic ninja turtles adult beefing with teenagers situation. please tell me yes i will roast this man to shit.

(sugi also say gay twisted identity shit) [impact image font] we are. we are going to beat you to death.

[ending bumper comedy thing] u cannot deny their commitment to the bittism. need this shit for my annoying nitpick continuity fandoms. yeah no it was cause he pooped his pants. he shitted and farted.

[doctorwhoisadhd]

[ID: reply from @seveneyesoup: "okay i'll bite what the hell is blaseball (i looked it up on wikipedia i have a general idea of if but it doesn't like, tell me what it was like following the game at all) /end ID]

this is such a good question that the answer gets its own entire post!!!!! im gonna try to distill it for u as best i can here goes

very much colored by what team u were a fan of if u were like me and in maincord. because a) teams had different cultures / lore / players / etc and b) they also had different stuff happen to them. however everyone did experience the same plot

it was something you could open any hour of the day :) like if i was bored at 3am i could just open blaseball (provided games were running)

you ALWAYS had questions. there were not answers for 75% of them. sometimes it was because the question was never designed to be answered in the first place. other times it was because we just LITERALLY did not know. also, out of the 25% of the questions we DID have answers for, 10 of those percents required you to make a spreadsheet to answer it, and 5 of those percents required you to seek out a specific guy who can answer it for u. the rest could mostly be answered by going into maincord and asking. but crucially the only way to determine which of these a question was was asking anyway.

it was basically like if fantasy football was both. an arg and massively multiplayer and also fucking insane. we were making choices having no idea what anything did and i cannot tell you how many monkeys paw situations there were. we were straight guessing up in that bitch

bits were everything in the discord. goku got incinerated once. there was a bee wedding. my team (the fridays) suckered the mods into giving us a second emoji once. bits got beaten like winnie hess after season 24 day 3 (a dead horse). it was incredible

so many fucking spreadsheets. awesome

THE FAN MUSIC SCENE WAS THE BEST THING EVER. like i think blaseball was probably the SINGLE best fan culture in terms of fan music ever created. it was really, really, really absurdly popular, moreso i would say than fanfic

loring players was so fun everyones ideas were so different and cool. most players were queer it was super fun. VERY VERY queer space and very awesome. it was fantastic in that regard

anything you could imagine probably happened in blaseball.

when in doubt, its a pun. or some kind of wordplay (chances were if u were theorizing, if it was a pun then you were at least close)

the discourse was so bad sometimes though (like. necromancy discourse sucked so bad. like please stop taking it so seriously necromancy is inherently funny!!! also oh GOD yorkcourse that was the WORST. basically ppl were mad that the fridays lored our favorite player as an 8 year old boy considering players die in this game)

[truly-a-snitch]

May i request headcanons with ranpo and dazai with a s/o who has heterochromia and is insecure about it? Could be hurt/comfort or just straight up fluff :)

-🧛

ofc ofc !!! ty for the request ^_^

WARNINGS: none :3 this is straight up fluff ! i do hc these two as nd (dazai is autistic, ranpo is audhd) !!

---

dazai and ranpo with an s/o who has heterochromia and is insecure about it

dazai

dazai to me has always seemed like the type to not really care about appearances if he's looking for an actual relationship

like i know he's always like "i want to die with a beautiful woman" but if he's planning to LIVE with/for someone, the thing that gets him is their brain, so having heterochromia doesn't matter to him

(however comma he actually thinks its really pretty and makes sure to tell you at EVERY possible moment even if ur not feeling too bad abt it at the moment)

he definitely does some sappy ass bullshit like staring into your eyes whenever he can

i hc him as autistic but like the type that makes way too much eye contact so he sees your eyes a LOT

once he finds out that youre insecure about it he amps up how often he compliments your eyes like. tenfold

like to the point you would think he's making fun of you if he wasn't so genuinely sincere about it

"the way the light catches your eyes is simply gorgeous, darling" or some bullshit like that. homeboy is so silly

if you two live together, he makes so many passing comments about how happy he is that your eyes are the first thing he sees when he wakes up

(look at you, seducing him into healthier sleeping patterns with your eyes)

at the end of the day, dazai doesnt care about your appearance (though the fact that he thinks you are the most graceful creature to ever walk this earth certainly helped when he asked you out)

he makes sure to remind you at every opportunity that the things you perceive as 'flaws'- your eyes, notably- are beautiful to him ^_^

a pretty solid experience all in all ! this man is such a hopeless romantic emphasis on hopeless he will bust out the sappy poetry to make u laugh and cheer u up

ranpo

again, a man who i don't think cares about appearance all that much if only because he can read everybody so easily that appearances sort of become obsolete

i hc him as the kind of audhd that hates eye contact with a burning passion so he isnt into the whole 'staring into your eyes' thing the way dazai is

however comma he likes to hold stuff up to your face and compare it to your eyes if its the same color

(if you have blue in your eyes he holds up his ramune marbles but he makes do regardless of color)

i also hc him as having heterochromia (one eye green one eye brown) so if u have complete heterochromia hes like omg we match !!

he isnt insecure about his appearance because he isnt big about appearances i mean he walks around with that tie that clashes with his ENTIRE outfit he truly does not care. no fucks given. we love u king. anyway the point is hanging out with him and dating him is going to lead to a confidence spike on ur part bc hes so casual abt his own heterochromia

if he notices youre having a bad day- which he will lets be honest- he makes a passing comment about how pretty your eyes look to cheer you up and then goes back to his psp. might let u beat him at whatever hes playing to make u feel better too

since appearances arent super important to him he doesnt really comment on it that much unless he knows ur feeling particularly upset about it

when u feel down abt it tho he is lowk ur BIGGEST hype man like "look how cool my s/o is u guys"

bro even shares his snacks with you if youre feeling insecure (about anything tbh but especially abt ur appearance bc ur literally so cool ??)

if you have sectoral heterochromia he says u and atsushi r twinning frfr (forget armed detective agency this is the fucking. heterochromia detective agency) and if u have central heterochromia hes like oh hell yea we collected the whole set

all in all id say since i hc him as having heterochromia its a solid experience !! vvv supportive

[hubristicassholefight]

Swordswoman Showdown Round 2 Part 2

Brienne of Tarth (A Song Of Ice and Fire) vs Urbosa (The Legend of Zelda)

(Better here in a "preferred character" sense, not "who would win in a fight")

Propaganda below cut

Brienne

gets gifted a sword made with the rarest metal ever because she’s THAT good; she’s simply the best

Brienne is one of the top sword users alive in her day. She's descended from a man who's catchphrase was "I'm better with a sword." Better than what? You. Jaime Lannister. Loras Tyrell. Any five given guys at once. She has a fantastic sword that might be magic or cursed and is named Oathkeeper because that's what she does; I love her

Beat like 20 guys in a tournament when she was 19. Was given a magic sword. Won a sword fight against the premier swordsman in the realm. Very swordly; Very tall and strong. Holds her sword in high esteem. Accomplished with other weapons as well!

She's defeated multiple of the top knights in the series in duels. One such knight gifts her the fabergé egg of swords and she uses it to defend orphans and stuff. Got out of a bad betrothal by dueling him and beating his ass so bad she broke multiple bones. Honestly there's so much more she is the swordswoman of all time. to me; She's buff and ugly and 6' 5" and so honorable and kind that she inspires the guy who fucks his sister to yknow. stop doing that. literally gets mauled for the sake of protecting a bunch of orphans (with her sword). also she's 20 she should be at the club ‼️

One of the best sword wielders in Westeros, the author says he would pick her to defend him. Has a cool sword called Oathkeeper. Manages to go up against 7 fighters and take out most of them,. The only true knight; First off, talking about book brienne, they massacred show brienne, the show runners simply didn’t understand what she’s about.“ She had no chance against seven, she knew. No chance, and no choice” brienne had plenty of choice but she couldn’t leave people to die. The chivalric paradigm is rotten and corrupted, but here is Brienne, the one true knight, who isn’t even a actual knight! “knights are for killing”, but here is a knight who risks her life again and again to protect innocents! Bri IS hope, she is the light in the dark that shows that things can be better, things must be better. Fundamentally an idealist: “Winter will never come for the likes of us. Should we die in battle, they will surely sing of us, and it's always summer in the songs. In the songs all knights are gallant, all maids are beautiful, and the sun is always shining”

Urbosa

She has a scimitar known as Scimitar of the Seven

Her signature weapon is the Scimitar of the Seven, a sword wielded by Gerudo heroes.She uses both it and lighting powers which fucks pretty hard

She’s pretty cool

#oooooh this one's hard#just tp zelda? we never get to see her fight with her sword (unpossessed)#however. in skyward sword. she's a student at the knight academy (almost certainly uses a sword)#and the reincarnation of a goddess who DEFINITELY used one (literally shown with it in the opening)#and her main weapon in hyrule warriors (non canon game like aoc) is a sword#impa is more of.... idk. knifeswoman? she never uses an actual sword i dont think#id say that urbosa is the best.#we actually see her use her sword and she's significantly older than any zelda and this specific version of impa#so yeah going STRICTLY off of 'who is the best' then that would be urbosa#im still voting for zelda though

#my psionic warriors!#vote urobosa#zelda might use a sword sometimes but face it when u imagine her she's either using light arrows...#...or magic in general#these are cool as hell but zelda isn't known for her sword#not like urobosa#and like others say impa is more of a knife lady

[satancopilotsmytardis]

Can u give us again a WIP from your next shigadabi work? if u want to obviously

no context for this one y'all

He doesn't really start working, but occasionally when Compress has a lot of legal papers to sort through, he takes on a handful of the files. Has been studying law since he was a child so that he knew every form of villainy and how to get away with things that should probably be illegal but managed to slip under the radar. If this is as much public unrest as they can create without breaking their parole and ending up back in Tartarus, then he's happy to lend a hand. 

He's going through one of those files when his phone starts buzzing. It's already past two, which means that he's lost five hours to the papers without noticing, but he doesn't have anywhere he's supposed to be today, so it doesn't really matter. He is confused then, when he finds it's Midoriya's name popping up on his caller ID. Not supposed to have a check-in until tomorrow. 

"What do you want?" He asks in loo of greeting. 

Midoriya's voice comes back, the sounds of sirens and commotion in the background. "Oh, uh, have you seen the news today?" 

"No," but as soon as the hero asks, he's reaching for the remote and turning the TV on. He clicks over to the news and sees that a recap of Endeavor's, and by extension Midoriya, Bakugo, and Shoto's, most recent fight looked like. A villain with some sort of quirk that causes intense vibrations got backed into a corner and set off a big blast of them in an office district. Four buildings collapsed. "Why are you calling me, hero?" He still barely tolerates Midoriya and All Might. Only bothers to be passively civil to the former because for some reason Dabi and Toga really like Bakugo and Midoriya is important to the angry blond for some reason. He thinks that maybe the sidekicks are dating, but he's never cared to get clarification on the point. 

"Uravity is in Jaku and can't get here to help us shift some of this rubble, and Shoto's ice can't hold it up forever without risking killing the people trapped inside. Would you be able to--" 

"No." 

"Please, Shigaraki, a lot of innocent people will die if--" 

"It doesn't matter, the answer is 'no'." He's not a hero, he's not a tool for the heroes to use when they want something. Midoriya is lucky that Spinner really wants him to come to his next tournament or he would decay the brat just for suggesting it. 

"Gimme the phone, Deku!" 

"Kacc--" There's some shuffling and then Bakugo's voice comes through a lot more clearly. 

"Listen here you shriveled, scaly-necked motherfucker, get your ass over here and make us a fucking door!"  Before he can say no or hang up, Bakugo keeps going. "Not because you care about innocent people," says the last part like a pointed jab at Midoriya. "But because if you don't, heroes who have incidents that cause mass casualties have to go on a mandatory two week leave of duty. Which means Endeavor will be home for two weeks and you and Staples won't get a moment of peace to be fucking gross." 

Tomura pauses. Dabi being trapped in the house with Endeavor for two weeks will be hell for his firefly. "Are you sure you don't want to be a villain?" He grumbles, getting up to grab his coat and shoes. 

He can hear the vicious smile in the blond's voice when he says. "Fuck that, let's see how you pass as a hero, mop head." And hangs up. 

[magnuscomedybracket]

Round 2 Match 11

131 Flesh vs. 075 A Long Way Down

Propaganda under the cut!

131 Flesh

so the episode starts with jonathan IDIOT sims of the FUCKERY INSTITUTE deciding you know... to get into the torture coffin i need to have a connection up here on the surface so i can find my way out... so, obviously, youre like awwwhh is this the moment he realizes he needs martin and saves him from the lonelt❤️❤️❤️ does he have a heartwarming connection w his coworkers and realize he needs his friends and cant just do everything alone❤️❤️❤️ and then that fool, that absolute bastard, that CIRCUS of a MAN goes. i nees physical pain AND THEN TRIES TO CHOP HIS FINGER OFF FOR FIVE MINUTES WHILE THE EYES GOIN hey ! hey stop ! hey ahahhaha stop what are you doing hey ahahah you need your finger hey stop doing that !! and regeneratjng his finger and then goes damn this wont work... IM GOING TO REMOVE ONE OF MY RIBS ! :D and then he goes to find JARED BONETURNER HOPWORTJ who yk has KILLED PEOPLE which helen just had IN HER DOORS, YK, FOR FUNZIEZ !! ands like heeey can u remove my rib bbggg hahahahaha ;] and even JAREDS like what the Fuck. then sure ! if u let me out of the DOORS ! then jons like hey btw :3 can i have ur statement :3 and jareds like yah sure if u give me another rib, and jon, jonathan fucking sims. AGREES ! that is like the equivalent of tradinf a rib for a burrito. so jared gives jon his statement and. SURPRISE ! its shit and unhelpful. and now jon has two less ribs, THEN jareds likd yoooo ur rib feels weird as hell and then helen promptly dumps jared into the nearest river. and rhe entire timd tou cannot make out SHIT of what jareds saying i wouldnt be surprised if you told me that guy was speaking in TONGUES. but oh wait ! it gets better ! elias fuckdd up and thd apocalypse wouldve at LEAST been delayed if jon DIDNT take his ribs out. BUT OH WAIT ! IT GETS EVEN BETTER ! later in the gardner jareds like hey ur ribs weird take it back i dont want if anymore it feels weird and then jon fucking smitss him [why the fuck does his rib feel weird btw..does hd have rib eyes? would that mean hd has eyes on all his bones? organs too??? id likd to think so.] *bows* thank you ! thank you !

075 A Long Way Down

dude happens to see the same guy in a couple of bad instances and decides he must die? it's so silly like he's only going off the feeling that mike had something to do with his brother (he did, he's right of course, but it's SO silly like "you'll die for staring at me")

[windupaidoneus]

first you're not horrible and in fact I care about you deeply and dearly, second!! Tell me about that furry modern AU i've seen you post a bit about I think? the one where they work office jobs. If you have anything you wanna say about that :] or um. Tell me hilde and emet's favourite date activities !

green. sneef. i hold ur kind words so close to my heart. always. even when i feel bad!! which is saying!! u know how it is with brain bad...

& of course i can tell u about my Epic Furry Modern AU where they work office jobs!!!!! it's one i haven't actually pondered TOO much yet but the beautiful thing abt thinking is that it's something u can do & then u have thoughts. isnt it beautiful

it would be separate from my Regular Modern AU which has its own lore. in this one they are really. coworkers. to start with. this one actually started off bc i was designing a fursona for hilde & the image came to me of him.. well hold on. this

^ this is him looking up over his shoulders while Handsome Kind of standoffish Smells good fuckkkk he smells GOOD coworker (though the way i see it it's more similar to like, when two companies work together? & they're from diff. companies basically. yeah) reaches over his head to grab something from the shelf he was sorting. & well emet is an Owl so he has Big Feathery Arms kind of like a cape... so in that scenario hilde is kind offf getting enveloped in that. not really bc emet isnt touching him but. yeah. if this hapepend to me id just die homosexual style i can promise you this

i think magic exists in this universe however we still need desk workers yk. magic doesnt, err, magically erase bureaucracy. Sad! theyre both full of magical potential but yknow when ppl either have a lot of skill but cant get hired for anything relevant to them so they settle for some nothing job OR the thing theyre really good at doesnt pay well so they go for smth that doesnt align w their preferences for the sake of living comfortably financially even if it means work is hell on their mind? them. hilde is the one who cant get hired for smth he likes & emet is the one going for a job that pays good rather than a job that suits what he likes doing. though of course he does get really really into the managing & organising aspect of Office Worker due to le autism. no way he isnt a manager of some sort he is NOT at the bottom of the ladder in any universe. i wouldnt say hilde is at the bottom of the ladder either bc he DOES have good skills & is generally a very applied worker (also idk im really not gunning for them having an unbalanced dynamic as coworkers, same company or not) but he definitely brushes his job off as not that important if asked what he does

emet probably has a sort of Reputation that makes him sound unapproachable but in the few interactions theyve had hes been a very reliable person to work with so hilde isnt particularly deterred from maybe trying to make friends for that reason. hes just.. socially awkward & anxious to start with. the moment their other coworkers (who hilde is actually like, decently friends with, likely one of the scions who mightve even been his friend before he started working there too. hell, could be a zero! or two even) catch that hes trying to befriend the guy with the Reputation theyyy try to orchestrate ways for them to work alongside each other more lmao. or like ohhh shucks i left xyz in the office over there can you go get it for me since youre nearby </3 which is entertaining for everyone in the know to watch.

they do get to work more as time goes on bc i feel like hilde would be doing like... communications stuff. great for the social anxiety lmao. & so relaying info & working out how the companies can better work w each other would be at least partly on him. he'd be involved in that i thinks. & ofc that would also involve the ppl in higher positions. fuck iahve so amny more ideas but im actually falling asleep in my seat remind me to rb with more tomorrow + the date activities ahhh

[trashedump]

keep fighting blooper reel

so for context, while i was working on my fic keep fighting, i had a separate document where i would write things as shittily as possible whenever i got stuck. so some of these quotes are from that document, others are things i wrote in the actual fic document whenever i got bored.

enjoy this series of outtakes, ordered by the chapter they occurred in! also warning for spoilers for my fic in case you care about that

chapter 1:

“i got dis” he [sylvain] sed. dis waz his fite 2 mak up 4 being dum

“r u stupd????” fliz yielded. “i wana fite 2 :((((”

“get every1 ot od her” slyman sed. “itz only 2 il be fin”

“k” flix sed al sad n wroeid nd shit. “u betr nut do sumthin stupd”

SYLVer the hedgehogAIN kisd him on da hed. “i wont. now g0”

chapter 2:

dmiarko waz taking 2 ingird

“r u alrite ignatz:

“she mey b sumwher in abys” billie eyleth [misspelling of byleth] sed.

chapter 4:

flix knu he had 2 finf a way 2 nut fitr 2 (DUNBAAAAAAN (HA HA HA HA HA NUMBERS)) gise @ once so he retreted but nut bcoz he had ben defeted. he snt 3 da ofer sid of da rum nd glen cam @ him bcoz rodric waz stil realing. felix navidaf blikd hiz sord agen nd kickd hkn in da bals lol. den he wnt 2 rodrig

fergalicious definition [abhorrent misspelling of felix] mad him go loco den bc he did rath strik ns da crest fargmnt aktivated.

he [felix] slamd da puml of da sord in glands [glenn's] fac nd glue gun [glenn] fel so den he stabf thru rodricks [rodrigue's] chest. dorime [rodrigue???] fel nd puld da sowrd ot of felony [felix] wich hurt a lot agen but he stortd 2 die on da grond.

"Sasuke— I mean Felix—"

"What the fuck did you just call me"

"Uhhhh nothing lol what are you talking about—"

"shurt the hell up I'm leaving you"

the bad ending

chapter 5:

“its alrite” dimi laffd  in a gofik way. dedu aslo noded behing him. “jst cum bak wen ur rechardgd. da rest of us wil kep tings runing wil ur away (hehe im forshadowing da mening of kep fiting her im so smrt im so intelelgint)”

haoi (THE LONG AWAITED SEQUEL TO YAOI WTF WTFFFFF)

insted of relying on demselvs evry2 had each oders bak. so dat wen dey had a momt of wekness dey cud stil surviv (an im so smart im so smart heheehehehheeheh).

“i hav a hrd tim beliving dats da cas” he refusd 2 bak don. “i cant help but fel im at falt, bcos i sed id talk 3 u mor aftr da war but den left u in da dust evry single day (the DUST? the DUST)”

"Wait, Didi."

"Yes?" He turned around. "What is it?"

"I should tell you...part of what I've been researching all this time." She started to hesitate, fidgeting with a string tied around her wrist. "It could be important, or...something."

Dimitri was listening intently. Hapi realized she actually wasn't sure why she thought this was important. It was almost as if the author was trying to foreshadow a future plot point.

"What was that?" the warlock called out. His voice was growing louder as he approached Felix's hiding place. "Is...is someone there? .....Must've been the wind."

"we're underground you dumb fuck"

"oh fuck you're right wait how do you know that"

"uhhhhhh shit"

*world explodes from fourth wall break*

i hate describing doors theres so many doors why are there so many doors why did i DO THIS

Felix looked. On the ceiling was a metal grate, most likely an air vent.

"Just like in among us"

flix nd sylvSONIC The Hedgehogain wr switchng it up a bit

chapter 6:

so day had escapd da untetical sience lab yey!!! but dey rwr in a cav. :(

fuor dase had pasd. dey wr stil stuk in da fuking cav.

On the fifth day, things changed. Shit hit fthe fuckign fan oh gsod

IT'S TIME FOR THE FUCKIN SCEEEEEEENE

"There is," he [Felix] said.

The revelation hit Sylvain like a medieval truck.

"I was gonna propose to you," he [Sylvain] said.

The words hit Felix like a medieval train.

chapter 7:

“abt da searc?” dey [byleth] sed nd dimi noded. dey cod always tel watz on his mind or maby dey j chos da rite dialog opton

“but aslo speking as a mrecenari” buyleth sed “i kno how tings can torn arond in an instnat. batls u tink r a lost cas switch in ur favor in da blink-182 of an eye. ppl uve logn snic had 2 left 4 ded hold on despit it al. so itx nut ovr until we kno it si. wer so fuking back”

“rite” dimi sed whil sheding a singl ter “wer so fuking bak”

“oh shti dat is prmosing” dimi sed “any sine of da duck nd marmalade” [duke and margrave]

dimiarko [dimitri] torned 2 bananapeel [byleth]

They were almost out of food. Every so often, that realization hit Felix like a medieval airplane.

"Okay," Sylvain conceded damn we out here conceding in this bitch

Felix hadn't said anything in a while—and, to be fair, neither had Sylvain, but it was his distant expression that worried Sylvain. He looked lost in thoughts all alone yoooooou are the oooooceans gray waaaaves destined to seek life beyond the shoooore just out of reeaaach yeeeet the watereeeerrs ever chaaaange flowing like time the path is yours to cliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiimb

"Clearly," Lysithea grumbled. "I didn't expect the same for you."

"Yes, well, I couldn't rest now," Linhardt said. "There are monsters nearby."

chapter 8:

ok so dery etin gdiner nd itz rtlly harty bef stew lik harty stew in botw i tink dats a recispe in dat gaem

syl stripd don 2 naked nd tok of AL his cloths nd he had a rely long no we’re not going there. he tornd on da watr nd thot abt fliz but nut lik dat u prev. he had a flashbak 2 post rodrick [rodrigue] deth but forst he dint tink abt it yet he gut da sop nd began 2 wash al his skin

But maybe he’ll never be ready, a thought tugged at the back of his mind. Maybe he wants nothing to do with me. After all…I’m the one who did this to him.

The memories hit Sylvain like a medieval blimp.

chapter 9:

dimi codnt hodl bak as he stepd in2 da dorfram nd hugd him as tight as he cud. and den da crest of blaiddyd aktivatd nd he snapd sylvens fuking spine in half. just kiding dat dint hapen lol can u imagin

chapter 10:

“But I promise—for the rest of our days, I’ll do everything in my power to be the man you see in me. To fight by your side, no matter what.”

"Wow that was sappy as fuck lmao"

[raisinchallah]

oh my god the greater good the greater good actually the perfect pairing with a friend in need its actually insane how much it really is the blueprint for themes they play with for like the rest of the fucking show... she literally starts the episode wearing the role of xena like an ill fitting costume and by a friend in need the role of xena fits her like a glove and she truly knows everything xena knows... take me with you teach me everything you know!!!!! i want so much to be like you and thats something gabrielle struggles with the whole goddamn show is like how much can she be like xena before something breaks inside her but again my god my god every single thread in the greater good that it sets up like gabrielle losing it when xena dies very much how she reacts in return of callisto that losing people she loves unlocks a desperation and bloodlust something that is continued of course in the quest and ides of march like gabrielle fights off a horde of soldiers just for a chance to bury xenas body as she wants she did that first in the greater good!!!! literally repeated again in the quest and ides of march its such a load bearing episode but also you can see like the way things change each time that shes so lost and so afraid in the greater good she is afraid she wont know what to do lost having just had a taste of adventure she cant go back to the life she once knew but she also knows shes not yet strong enough to travel on her own she cant possibly cope with that one foot in each world and each subsequent time shes faced with xenas death after it echoes her actions in the greater good but shows how she has changed she travels mountains across huge swaths of land to try and enact xenas dying wish in the quest goes thru hell and back to bring her back to life to uphold her promise... in ides of march she fights off the soldiers so they can just have the chance to die together so she can hold xena one last time she wont let her die alone again... and finally by a friend in need she is secure enough in her own ability she does know everything xena knows she can stand on her own feet and again keep to xenas dying wish and keeps her ashes with her since xena is now a part of her and they are family forever.... and i mean u can even see echoes of the side of the mouth kiss their last interaction before xena comes back to life almost like the many subsequent kisses of life in the show a recurring motif for them its tentative and tragic like the wedding kiss in return of callisto all very closeted dramatic classic the feelings you hide cannot get out and such and like anyways thinking about how the original plan in the quest was for gabrielle to have ambrosia in her mouth and kiss xena back to life like it just keeps going lao ma and the kiss of life xena bringing gabrielle back from her sleep in the ring trilogy to finally gabrielle giving xena the kiss of life kind of as always planned from the quest in a friend in need... its insane how much their relationship grows and changes from xena being so stoic and secretive trying to protect gabrielle but often hurting her more in the process so shes left so afraid and unprepared in the greater good to their open sharing total trust and shared knowledge to the point few secrets remain by the end of the show its so so fucking good...