#all my branding is centered on my renegaedz username anyway like if i switched over itd alter pretty much nothing.
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#sometimes i wonder if i should just go by maryam professionally#i feel like this would extremely lower my chances of getting outed on accident lmao.#all my branding is centered on my renegaedz username anyway like if i switched over itd alter pretty much nothing.#my dad simultaneously being so neglectful but such a fucking busybody and all my transphobic irls literal only reason id need to do this.#in theory i would not have to have literal separate art identities to keep up the facade but then i would have to play a balancing game#but then this means letting everyone i know irl into my little zone lmaooo i hate everyone .#i hate so many of my irls lol you all make me so fucking mad and make me hate being trans so fucking much sometimes.#why do i have to compromise on who i am just so i can fucking exist#'what if i compromise on how i present myself so i dont need to worry about being open about my art ventures'#all this so i can be open to people who i went through hell for over a decade to#connect to who rejected me already just because im autistic . everyday im violent.#people who would want me to fucking die and spit on my existence forever if they knew i didnt hate gay people#let alone that im fucking trans haha ? hahaha yeah so true i should suck up forever and vie for the attention of people#who hate me already and keep me around to be nice#i hate everyone so fucking much sometimes honestly. you all act like youre on some moral warfront fighting against westerners pushing queer#as if historically queerness was pushed out of muslim communities and south asia because of FUCKING COLONIZATION#i fkjhckjhk يا الله the people on this earth are in their stupidity arc#i hate u all i hate u all . acting like we must fight to protect our communities but then turn a blind eye to how u hurt ur communities.#there aint no fucking queer epidemic and even if it WAS haram you know what is worse? fucking LYING. go worry about THAT#vent#sorry i am so insane rn i have suddenly gotten so mad for no reason lmao
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