#anyway . im going to Kill Myself
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trick or treat!
#my art#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#yuji itadori#fushiguro megumi#nobara kugisaki#maki zenin#yuta okkotsu#inumaki toge#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#u could argue that the spoilers r hidden by the costumes but idw take my chances#i havent posted art in a billion years i feel like a fraud and i am going to get a bad grade in tumblr dot com#so i am posting these early idc anymore#i still have probably one more halloween draws i plan on posting but im cracking i want these out of my drafts Now#these KILLED ME#i miss drawing fast i miss it so badddddd#dont get me wrong the costume design ws so fun i loved it but god did it take ages#but on the bright side. yuuji in a toga.#on another bright side. little devil nobara n cowgirl maki#on yet anotHER bright side. eldritch horror pandachu#these costumes eat if i do say so myself ghjsdfkgjf undead inuokko makes me so happy also they r so cute#not to mention megumi in his gay little hat god i made itfs so obnoxiously flirty in this#remember when i said the timeskip art ws the least heterosexual group photo i've ever drawn i take it back#theyre disgusting . save nobara episode 356325746732#anyway happy 10 days early halloween <3#i will try to not take a whole week to finish the last piece(s)
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personal happiness or what the fuck ever
bonus:
#xmen#xmen comics#cherik#charles xavier#erik lehnsherr#professor x#magneto#jeans here too but ssh#snap sketches#i havent posted anything in what feels like forever and i GUESS i have to remind people i do draw sometimes. whatever.#aka in my brain i have at LEAST a five-page doujin where this gets incredibly nsft but i dont have TIME for that these days do i#so for now we get just. these scribbles. ill be able to make something exemplary again someday i swear <- optimistic#i think im going to close my comms off for the rest of december once i get through the batch i have now#which ... doesnt sound hard since the amount i have will probably take me to the end of december anyway 💀#i just need everyone to believe me i have better visions for yaoifying issue 309 .... the opportunity is right there...#like wdym the dream sequence is gon end on a panel of erik's eyes as he reinforces the idea charles needs happiness like scott and jean's..#call up your ex. right now charles.#what got me peeved about this issue is i have no idea what color eriks outfit could be vjaeLVKEJARK its like.#is he wearing a lab coat over a suit .... i think thats the intention ... or maybe it is a trench coat....#idk shit for me to figure out if i ever get the time to explore this thing again#LIKE UGH IM SCREAMING i have Such Visions that i dont have time to execute and theyre killing me#maybe ill just write them down idfk <- trying to write fanfiction ends even worse for me than trying to draw#anyways. im gonna drive myself mad good night everyone#i have to go to a christmas party tomorrow night. later tonight. whatever.#BYE
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scared to say stuff
#i hate my girlfriend sometimes and i think that makes me a horrible person#and i will never tell her the issues i have with her because i dont want to upset her#anyway im going to kill myself
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she cut her hair 😔
#BARK BARK BARK#george russell#alex albon#formula one#f1#rule 63#2363#yeahg... theres a long sequence in my head of george showing up one day w her haircut and everyone gets whiplash#which is understandable she had the longest hair for the longest time. noone expected this scenario#and alex is like what tha flip georgie... in a way that sounds negative (it isnt. shes just surprised. galex common miscommunication trope)#and george is like oh my god you HATE it im going to KILL myself#and alex is like youre so fucking stupid jesus christ. you look awesome. etc etc kiss etc etc#ANYWAY LOL i love long ass hair georgie and pixiecut georgie just the same 🙏#random eurotruck mention sharl helps her cut her hair 😋 needa bring that diva up more often#ok goodnight. dream of george yuri tonight#my art#AND alex going wrong scissor action LOL#girl drivers
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if you struggle with mental health, one piece of advice i would genuinely give you is learn to knit.
or crochet: something repetitive to do with your hands, assuming you're capable of it. if you're like me and learnt to knit as a kid but let it lie fallow for a long time, it may be that starting a large, simple project (for me it was a cloak, but a blanket could work too) gets you back into it. or maybe doing something smaller, idk. i personally found socks really hard for a while because they felt smaller than my cloak but weren't getting Done quick enough for me. as i've sped up i find it more interesting to knit socks.
regardless, a repetitive task is great for emotional regulation (also see: autistic stimming), and something that you can look at and go hey i've done something, unlike simply using a fidget toy, can also help to pick your mood up when the brain is being cruel.
it's also useful as a conversation starter or distracter if you don't know what to talk about. if you're wanting to talk to older people also you're more likely to reel them in with knitting (i work better with older people, and 99% of people who ask what i'm knitting are older than me). it also gives you the opportunity to not make eye contact because you're busy knitting, even if you're still carrying on a conversation. if you're absolutely stuck for conversation you can count your stitches and people might stop bothering you.
if you have trouble focusing without doing something with your hands, you can knit! i knit a lot in church, and it helps me to focus on what's being said.
i probably have more reasons you should pick up knitting, but i can't recall them right now, so yeah.
#knitting#catkin knits#i remember one specific time back in october where i was sitting in Bible class utterly unable to stop the most horrible thoughts going#through my head. i was knitting as fast as i've ever knitted. no exaggeration to say i was knitting to stop myself from attempting to die.#and afterwards i sat there in the corner knitting for all i was worth. just repeating to myself 'not now. i am not killing myself now.'#and someone saw me in the corner frantically knitting and came to ask if i was ok. and asked how my mental health was.#must've been end of oct bc it was the first wednesday after i was out of psych ward. and i was having lots of thoughts about the method#i'd used for what is still my most recent suicide attempt. which was in october. and i had the means with me.#it would have been a horrible thing to do. to kill oneself at Bible class. with children around. but i wasn't in a particularly hinged stat#of mind at the time. that's approximately the only clear memory i have of that time in fact.#anyway idk why im thinking of that rn when im fine
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I think that the party's communication issues can be summed up as "man, is it awkward to tell someone that you want to spend the rest of your life with them if you've only know them for a few months? Probably."
#isat#isat spoilers#in stars and time#listen they will kill for each other but also its such a short time???? like??? thats part of the tragedy tbh#like!!! yeah theyll go back to their previous lives bc who in their right minds throw out everything they were doing before for people youv#only known for a few months and it turns out all of them do bc theyre insane for each other but!!!! like!!!! thats still a big ask!!!!!#yeah lets throw out everything we've ever know to be together lets fucking go and then they do in the end!!!! but!!!#thats because theyre all are ride or die to the extreme for each other!!!!!! far more than siffrin thinks anyone will ever be for him!!!!#anyway I have a lot of feelings about the party and just how bonkers (affectionate) they are#yeah no siffrin I too would not expect people to put aside their previous lives especially if its clear they have other plans#'yeah im gonna invite myself over to your house to live here lol' yeah no I would not assume that!!!!!!!#the issue is more that issue doesnt communicate what he really wants because if they do and his family says no then... being together truly#will end so he doesnt ask so they never will get a no so it never has to end (and has his reason to keep going)#this is turning into an essay in the tags but like. God its a wild set of circumstances so#tbh Siffrin not thinking the party wants to travel together is not wild to me neither is family not communicating#them wanting to be together ALL OF THEM wanting it is... unbelivable in these circumstances#but they do bc theyre all insane and ride or die but the extent of which is a mystery to all of them#anyway thats my essay in the tags#just read the no loops fic where the adults minus siffrin all offer to bring bonnie to bambouche and had FEELINGS about it#my posts
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rip to bruce but if i fumbled her i would literally kill myself
#wrote this caption before trying to figure out if the artist intended for this to be a qipao or not#settled on the fact that he did (the mandarin collar sealed it) and spent 2 hour reading a brief history of them#and terminology to try and make an accurate ID but my 'ohmygof she's so fucking hot' got QUICKLY replaced with anger#like in 1930 Shanghai there were so many designs that did feature more form fitting fabric & high side slits#theres so many general gorgeous designs with the elaborate pankous and embroidery and beading that you could of taken inspiration from#and you make it more or less a unitard. you go hm close enough just to sexualize her further#like yeah she's gorgeous my caption stands but the disrespect and disregard is so... you know.#anyways. messy little ramble over. if im bruce wayne im killing myself and also thepankou(.)com has really beginner friendly posts talking#about the history of them & different (general) region styles & the use of qipaos in different media and exhibits. also a GORGEOUS wardrobe#crypt's panels#talia al ghul
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please help me by reblogging ‼️
hello im dylan. i make what money i can through doordashing but that barely covers even half of my bills and nowhere else will hire me rn (slow season in a tourist town). my car payment and car insurance are both scheduled to come out of my bank acct today and i barely have enough to cover the $135 in my checking account leaving me to have to use my credit card for my $150 car insurance. i also really need to buy groceries and get gas which i desperately need to keep working.
i currently am over $1000 in debt on my credit card and i really can’t afford to keep piling up the bills on it. the monthly fee ($99) for my HRT service just came out as well so i really need at least $400.
$155 (insurance) + $99 (hrt) + $60 (gas) + $100 (groceries) to at least get my credit card back down to only owing $1000. ideally i want to pay that all off but i know there’s no way i’m crowdfunding 1400. thank you guys this isnt terribly urgent but the sooner i can pay it off the better. ❤️
$60 / $400
#im so mad. my fucking car insurance price keeps going up and i dont know why. i dont get tickets i drive safely and make my car payments on#time. but nooo geico says kill yourself fagggot#anyway. of course no pressure to donate as always but sharing would be much appreciated#gonna queue this a bunch sorry in advance#thought i was over this!!! but nope. doordash doesnt pay jack shit either#if i cant figure something out ill have to move in w my mom across the country and id probably just kill myself there so! not ideal
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Still very wild to me when people try to gotcha Jason with the whole "if you can kill other people for being evil why can't they kill you" when jason is like. One of the most passively suicidal characters I've ever seen. What if man
#augh i dont want to cw this because im just talking about The Character and i feel bad when i do it for characters but i probably should#suicide mention#ask to tag#while im here i do absolutely believe hes been suicidal since jaybin times. maybe even before just in different ways. but like#going into that building with shelia? yeah#now. i DONT think he was aware of it and if youd ask him hed say no fully believing thats the truth#but like if a ghost jaybin had some introspection time i think he'd maybe eventually be like yeah#his outcomes to him were have a loving parent or die and hes a very big fan of ultimatums like that.#but he doesn't fully see it like that as jaybin because oh hes a hero and saving others when no one else can is what heros do :)#ramble. ivee been feeling it lately yknow how it is#ive once saw a post saying jason was planning to die after the joker was dead in utrh and yeagh i can see that#he puts A BOMB in his HELMET#suicidal characters in the context of hero stories are so fascinating to me. the self sacrifice.#the not caring about your own safety as long as you save someone else. the pushing yourself#the way itd be so easy to make it look like they just fell in battle. to be considered a hero in the end#anyway ive been glancing at suicidal jason todd fics. how bad is it that im still getting mad about characterization#because theyre not killing him right#AND ANOTHER THING. since im here and i try to avoid making posts about The Character like this so might as welk get it all out#think about suicidal jaybin as well as the fact 80s bruce very much considered suicidal people/people attempting like#weak and lazy? yells at them? i think thats about it. Very Much. je seems to straight up just hate them#again very much feel free to ask me to tag this one ^-^'#and i hope no one thinks im being callous here im very worried about that. i just its a very important part of his character to think about#and its fun to explore as someone who is passively suicidal myself#jason todd analysis#anyway no one look at me i am in my corner just rotating him#WAIT to clarify i dont think jaybin fully realized Just becauceof the heros sacrifice thing. i made it sound like that i believe#anyway. if you read him as suicidal since jaybin times and go to ditf with that lens like i did. well. the post death victim blaming..
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this scene is so funny to me for no reason. hes so serious just to get puked on
#my art#doodle#fanart#resident evil 8#resident evil village#ethan winters#salvatore moreau#cw vomit#cw puke#soakin wet in the freezin cold AND covered in puke i would kill myself.#ive missed him so so bad i always feel like i cant work on anything else when im doin a big drawin cause what if i get distracted n get too#into a new drawing and then i do all that and when i try to go back to the first drawing ive GROWN just like ever so slightly !!#it has happened to me before i never underestimate how much i can change in just one single drawin#also its unfathomable to me that the first lord i draw is MOREAU. yea it WOULD be the fish. i know what i am. no matter how gross im always#with them freakin fishes.#anyways thats the post sorry for puttin fish vomit in the ew tag
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Valentino Rossi & Marc Márquez
it only took me like. way longer than i said it would.. red bull couldn't save me sorry gang
- 🏁
#am i late to this trend#idk maybe#this took so fucking long dont even#like seriously do i actually do this for fun? is this what fun is???#istg if i dont go to my state comp and this is all i have to show for my graphic design skills im killing myself live at laguna seca#anyway real tags now ig#motogp#valentino rossi#marc marquez#marc márquez#vr46#mm93#rossi#rosquez#rosquez edit#valentino rossi edit#marc marquez edit#marc márquez edit#vr46 edit#mm93 edit#motogp edit#poster#my edit#rossi edit#lukes edits
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when are u gonna show me my children you’ve been teasing me for like a week 😞😞😢😢
singular (child) actually....i couldn't figure out how to draw vals hair bc im dumb as rocks,,,,,,,anyway take sam for now he's my beloved son as well my angel
#youre SOOOOO lucky you have gf privileges#............i normally dont draw for anyone😒😒#HE IS SO FUCKING PRETTY PRINCESS. AND I WILL GIVE HIM THE BABYGIRLIFICATION THAT ONLY MY STYLE CAN ACHIEVE.#DONT WORRY SUMI. YOUR BOYS ARE SAFE IN MY HANDS (i will forcibly feminize them dont leave them in my care)#anyway i had so much fun doing this#happy graduation this is your going away present🫶🏼#please never come back♥️♥️♥️♥️#lotus’s asks#lotus draws#retrograde#(?) am i allowed to use that tag#LMAO#EDIT WAIT I FUCKING FORGOT HIS GLASSES JM HONNA FUCKING KILL MYSELF#GLASSES WEARERS ERASURE...................💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔#IM SORRY SAM
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idk much abt thanksgiving but ik charles was very stoked abt being stuffed!
ANON.
#nsft#snap chats#QUITE LITERALLY in front of my salad ?????? and vegan chicken tenders ???#my friends wanted to try my vegan chicken tenders last night and made a big fuss of it like grow UP it wont kill you#AND THEY LIKED IT SO YWAH SHUT UP tryna hate me for my not-chicken chicken …..#anyway real#wait stop i just reminded myself of the cjristmas episode of 92#and how gambit was cooking and now im reminded of the cajun turkey popeyes is giving out or w/e……#idk where im going with this. turkey dry as hell i dont like thanksgiving turkey
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the reference
tbf i feel like he looks a little scaryy
#IGNORE THE FACT THAT IT HAS BEEN MONTHS SINDE IVE POSTES#im going through it#but its break!! exam season killed me more than regular school did#ive been busy and its been messing with my art :')#maybe ill finish stuff and post it but dont get ur hopes up!!!#anyway ty to my bestie best best friend of all time for showing me this image#my art#bsd#bungou stray dogs#nikolai gogol bsd#bsd nikolai#sillyyy :3#months since ive PROPERLY posted this is a shitpost this is not a frfr piece#yes i am disappointed in myself
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so with echoes of wisdom .. i havent watched any of the trailers beyond the very first one and the thumbnails/screenshots and what others have said about it-
but with the world inside the rift being called "Welt des Nichts" aka "world of nothing/void" in german ('still' in english, for some reason) and demises title in french being "avatar of nothing" ... yeah my anxiety is shooting through the roof again
(hopefully you can be a little more forgiving for me being anxious/weird about it bc demise is my blorbo)
i had similar worries with totk, that werent proven true thankfully, but the darn book is making it all worse again with all those weird lore things the game doesnt even so much as hint at AND potential retcons- im in for a really rough time huh, not just stress in real life (more in tags.. its alot) but now about my specific hyperfixation from two things even (AND artblock still..)
weird as it may sound, i dont want demise to get more lore, partly bc i dont believe theyd do anything with him that i would like (given their track record) but much more importantly- the fact that he has this little lore about him is precisely one of the reasons why i fell in love with him, i tend to like characters that are neglected by the narrative, and his story being both so flat and already done meant i can be very creative with what i come up with for him without necessarily contradicting anything in canon (which is ... or was a big point of how i wrote destiny's story and lore, working with canon in a way that reframes it all without straight up ignoring it ... but i suppose i urgently need to let go of that and accept i spend alot of time working things that will go to waste :( ) AND not having to worry that there will be more stuff with him that would massively change not only what im writing but also potentially how i feel about him since the game he was briefly in was the oldest chronologically and ended with his death- i didnt expect them to mess with anything that far back and thought theyd just go forward and leave the timeline behind and wouldnt mess with it again, given how botw seemed to be a sort of 'fresh start' that seemingly regarded the past as the past that needs to rest and that the timeline was finally no longer a discussion if everythings unified through botw and one thing going forward
but i suppose i was very wrong with that .__.
right now the only thing that motivates me still is the left over determination and spite to work on my zelda comic, since i have never gotten this far and really want to get something done for once, but i cant lie that im feeling like i should pause all work on it too to wait and see waht the book and the new game will do .. either to determine if i still have the will to keep working on it after those things are out (my love for tloz has been taking alot of hits lately ..) or if i have to change stuff (mostly bc of my lore problem trying to not ignore it ..)
#ganondoodles talks#zelda#ganondoodles rants#sorta#suicide attempt mention in the IRL stuff im talking about in the following tags btw#theres some construction stuff on our house going on#and my father is extremely stressed about it#he used to be very explosive- being silent and then exploding out of nowhere .. probably left me with lasting damage yippie-#but now he much more lets it eat at himself bc hes old and feels bad for the past stuff so now it makes him irritated and depressed#my older brother is the most normal cis straight guy you can imagine and incredibly impatient and bossy (you CANNOT talk with him)#(brother doesnt live in our house)#and while hes helping out hes doing it exactly how my father doesnt like and since you cant talk to the guy (explosive +200) it stresses hi#to the point of my father yesterday saying that “it would have been better if i had just died back in the day”#likely referring to the time when he was drafted for the military against his will and tried to kill himself#which i learned only like .. a year ago- theres so little my parents tell me ....#its like my mother telling me- while my father was in hospital for heart surgery- that she not only almost died back when i was a young tee#and only survived bc of some incredibly unebelievable lucky coincidences (medics on a travel being there that knew what she had-#-while our local doctors said welp- nothing we can do lady AND them beign there with a helicopter and emergency transferring her#to antoher bigger hospital while giving her immediate treatment our local one didnt do- AND at the big one just so happened to have-#-an expert on that illness in the facility when she arrived who was able to narrrowly save her life#BUT ALSO while she was recovering and weak and frail as a dust bunny witnessing someone stealing hospital surplies-#not noticing she was in the room at first (which .. the nurses left her in the nurse room while going on break ... which uhm .. yeah cool)#and if my mother hadnt acted in time like she was fully asleep and the lady stealing stuff beign in hurry- she might have killed her#without my mother being able to fight back bc she could barely even talk (the nurses didnt want to believe her when they got back either)#ANYWAY that comment from my father brough me to tears#and my mom is trying out more ... other medication shes not prescribed in hopes of it helping agaisnt her many pains#but i worry it will interact with the other stuff shes on ...#and i worry so much about both of their mental and physical well being#always trying to be the one to calm them down or help with communication bc that is a big problem in this houesehold#but i myself am also a very much not normal and not medicated shut in who has trouble dealing even with my own feelings
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Historia Augusta, Geta
Cassius Dio, 78.1
Cassius Dio, 78.4
Mutiliation and Transformation: Damnatio Memoriae and the Roman Imperial Portraiture, Eric R. Varner
this is. well! it's probably fine.
#ANYWAY. bringing back my old comparatives tag so that i can bookmark this for myself bc i know im going to forget abt the sources#i need. like. a cork board i can pin stuff to for this comic lmao#ngl. in many ways. whatever happened here is worse than some of the other fratricide-sacrifices that happened in rome. tbqh#truly i think that when something like this happens (bc caracalla had symbolically killed his brother in their youth) you should like#dismantle the whole house. literally. you need to board up the windows and doors and cover all the mirrors otherwise something#is going to follow you back across the threshold and lurk under your bed or something#do you hear the tapping in the wall caracalla? that's your brother!!!! also twenty thousand other people#comparatives tag#shdhshsh im going through dio and assembling another post using screen caps from the trailer we really are in our brother emperors era
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