#all the god damn time i wish i could just kill myself im so sick of it | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

my-mom-named-me-duck · 1 month ago

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the edgy ramblings of a grumpy duck

so I wrote this in Google docs like 5 minutes ago and I decided since I have no one to show my edgy rant to so I decided to post it to the abyss that is my Tumblr. to the 1 person who actually ends up reading this I hope you like it :D this is effectively a vent so be warned and proceed at your own risk

Do you know what it's like to feel one of your senses slowly decay?

How it feels to know that what you are now is effectively worse than when you were born.

Do you know what it's like to count down the days till you're consumed into darkness knowing there's no escape and that you'll never get to see or do some of the things you've dreamed of.

Do you know the agony that is losing your sight at such a young age? Where no stranger believes that someone like you could ever be going blind because “only old people go blind” and “young people who are blind are blind at birth”.

Do you know what it feels like to be called a faker begging for attention?

I fucking wish i was faking it that way i could walk around in public being able to not bump into people and not having them think im just an asshole.

There's no winning.

What did I do to deserve this fate?

My life hasn't been easy so what have i done to deserve this.

I'm either a fake or a brat kid that needs to watch where they're going.

What have i done to you to deserve this slander all i did was pull my cane back so i wouldn't trip you, i did you a kindness and and all i get in return is a glare and an accusation of faking this god damn curse and when i do let people trip over my cane i'm seen as an asshole.

WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME.

I JUST WANT TO RIP OUT MY EYES SO IM NOT FORCED INTO THIS FUCKING LOOP OF TOO BLIND NOT BLIND ENOUGH.

I'm already tormented by the fact I'll never see again so why must you hurt me more.

I wish I never had sight because at least then I wouldn't be accused of being a faker and at least then I'd never know what I'm missing out on.

To those who accuse me of faking my disability i hope and pray you end up with a loved one or child cursed with the same fate i am that way you can hear them come to you crying because they are getting death threats online for faking their already miserable disability or getting bullied at school for faking it or being accused of faking their disability and being out on blast because the general public is way too stupid to realize that blind people have screen readers and they are able to use the internet.

I hope you hear that loved one talk about all of the blind jokes made to them.

I hope you hear that loved one break down because they keep hearing the same stupid joke of “well they're blind so how would they get offended by this if they cant watch it”.

Its fine the first 1000 times but when you hear it over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over it fucking breaks you.

Or that joke about the old lady who killed herself after getting her sight back and the power going out or that joke about you seeing a truck coming but the blind person didn't.

I hope you or a loved one goes through the agony I do so that you feel how much pain you put me through.

At least be creative with your bullying.

But I guess it's hard for someone in their 30's who decided to bully a disabled child to have any sort of creativity.

Go look at yourself in the mirror and see how pathetic you are instead of bullying a disabled child.

Also stop comparing me to toph and daredevil.

Yes they are strong blind characters but I'm sick of it.

At least pick a cool blind character if you're going to boil me down to the one thing i hate about myself like at least tell me i'm like the creatures from a quiet place or some shit.

sorry for writing all this I'll draw more cute things after this is you want or I'll draw more creatures its upon to the 0 people who read to this point.

have a lovely day and stay safe

#blindness #visually impaired #disability #vent #rant post #vent post #i'm sorry for this #I draw more cute things after this I promise

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herboretum · 3 months ago

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big ol text abt me being aroace so🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅ow oka🍅🍅🍅🍅y i get it i know 🍅🍅🍅🍅ow I Talk so much abt being aroace🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅 i prmise this is the last🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅 time 🍅🍅🍅🍅DAMN okay CHILL🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅read if u wanna 🍅🍅🍅ow OW!!!!!!🍅

ough man sometimes i wish i wasnt aroacespec for the sake of my own wellbeing yanno,,,,,,

its been physically paining me (since the start of the year realistically) knowing im incapable of loving another person romantically, of being unable to feel that passion for someone the way devoted partners would for their other half

it makes (and has made) me cry knowing i wont have that connection probably ever! that i just. cant love on that level! it kills me, genuinely, just not being able to have those moments where i can lean all my trust to one person, to have moments of vulnerability with someone. to be able to have lovesick days or gaze into their eyes or be able to simply reciprocate an "i love you" that they know is more than that simple statement. it fucking kills me man it makes me sick to my stomach

i dont know why. i never chose to be like this!!!! why couldnt i just be normal man!!! theres nothing wrong with me yet theres everything that could have been better! sometimes i get so jealous of people i know who are in really loving relationships. how they can just ramble on about how they love their partner to their core, that every imperfection they see is a beauty to behold. why cant i experience that? like genuinely what the fuck happened with me??

i feel like nobody ever talks about how alienating being aroace can sometimes feel. i feel like what im experiencing should not exist. im aroace not because i chose to be, but because i simply am, and i really hate that about me. theres so many people celebrating and while i can relate sometimes, i also feel like a sack of hopeless shit too!! im like a paradox man idk its wild how actually unfathomable this situation i am in. it doesnt feel real i feel like im contradicting myself 24/7

this is what i mean when i say i live vicariously through other people and my projections onto fiction. i am just that unable to not contradict myself in real fucking life. its so stupid man i fucking hate being here

anyways i digresss:3 not really. ive just been in this weird middle state for over half a year and today just kinda felt like a snapping point for literally no reason ?!?!:; i love being aroace. i really do. but god sometimes it just hurts me knowing theres a version of me enjoying a better life than i am

and lowkey if im gonna theorize, i genuinely think my issue stems from my inability to properly socialize with other people: i am just that fucking pathetic. me being scared of interactions has led me to become avoidant of others, which in turn has probably caused me to act like this im gonna aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaago fishing

#wall of text GO!!!!!!!#uhhh anyways aha yeag #thats just the aroace life for me baby!!!! cant all be unicorns and rainbows!!#specially the aegoromantic and aegosexual life. for me. ough!!!#also this has been in my drafts since june sooo happy pride to me smiles i just added that last part #also this isnt like me complaining that i dont want to be aroace. actually ok yes it is BUT specifically i dont want this to represent me #complaining about WHY being aroace sucks. being aroace is fucking goated asf i just be weird ok ❤️❤️#u cant pry me away from this label im hot glued magnetized & triple sticky tacked

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girlfictions · 1 year ago

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hari need to know your thoughts on the succession finale once you finish it 🙏

i’ve genuinely been in a state of shock since i finished the ep so i’m probably going to ramble terribly bc my brain will explode otherwise.... thoughts under the cut!!! and massive spoiler warning obviously 💪

OKAAYYY in no particular order:

greg getting whacked was beautiful i wish he'd been stomped into a pulp honestly sorry for not being able to separate the art from the artist but nicholas braun is a weasel and i hope he gets hit by a car

that being said tom and greg's interactions this ep were top tier i'm not a tomgreg enthusiast like That but i think every scene of theirs was hilarious as it was twisted

tom this whole episode... phenomenal. matthew is just a cut above in terms of acting he embodied tom's hunger and desperation and patheticisms so perfectly i really felt more and more unsettled by him every appearance

i do wish we had more stewy screentime but i also wish that for every single episode arian moayed is so freaking talented and charismatic and amazing and he ate up every second he was on screen

speaking of stewy. "you kiss guys on molly" <- BITCH.....? i actually don't know if i've mentioned this on tumblr but i'm a kenstewinator for life and frankly this was confirmation that they explored each other's bodies at college idgaf what anyone has to say about it

ohhhh my god the fucking "meal fit for a king" scene. i can't even find the words for it. seeing them all so happy and having so much fun with each other in that moment was just so heartbreaking bc i KNEW it wasn't going to last 😭 like my mum and i literally checked how much time was left in the episode after that scene and looked at each other like Wellll something terrible is going to happen isn't it.

kendall My beautiful baby boy kendall IM SORRY I WASNT YOUR MOTHERRRRRRRR . i could honestly write an essay about kendall in this episode alone i have never seen such a tragic crumbling of the self maybe ever. him sitting at logan's desk thinking he's finally won... his reaction to shiv betraying their deal... him attacking roman like i was seriously breathless my god that entire sequence was fucking crazy

and to be quite honest if i was kendall in that situation well i would have killed myself in that damn board room and changed the trajectory of all those old hags lives forever . like "i'm a cog built for one machine" And now he has nothing no father no siblings no wife no kids no company my fucking goddddddd 🤦‍♀️

i started chanting "please please please dont kill yourself" out loud in the final scene and i'm dead serious the kendall water motif HAUNTS ME and i was so freaking scared . but that final frame is honestly equally awful like kendall alone with colin in the background him basically becoming logan with none of the power this is seriously the worst possible ending for him.....

shiv doomed to repeat the pattern of being under a man's thumb is genuinely so deeply demented jesse armstrong sleep with one eye open. and i hate it so much because it makes so much SENSE like yeah she's lady macbeth she's caroline she's the wife she's the mother and she will never be anything else okay OKAYY.

like that scene w her and tom in the car where he waits for her to hold his hand was so fucking spine chilling also the ambiguity of us not knowing whether tom knows that shiv was the deciding vote in his favour is crazy <- i do think it makes sense that he would know but just shiv having that as a bargaining chip so they can sting each other over and over again like its all about the cycles i fear

roman being so resigned to it all by the end was sick like ok that comment about kendall's kids was evil but i still felt for him howeverr i do think out of the trio he will be objectively the most okay in the future... like he's free from it all in a way shiv obviously isn't and kendall literally can't be

honestly i'm struggling to articulate anything more i'm still so overwhelmed by how it came to a close.. never have i watched a show that left me so heartbroken and hollow but also absolutely satisfied narratively like succession is going down in the history books FR 😭

also they're def going to sweep the emmys and it will be so deserved i seriously think they need to invent a new rule to allow for a tie because i cannot imagine how they're going to decide between kieran and jeremy for best lead... <- i do lean a little towards jeremy bc i'm a biased kendall girl but kieran's performance esp in the first half of this season was just jawdropping so who knows

this got really long i'm so sorry but i feel like a crazed woman what a fucking show what a fucking ending i will never be the same after this SUCCESSION YOU WILL ALWAYS BE SO FAMOUS !!!!!!!!!!!!

#succession #succession spoilers

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just-a-queer-fanboy · 2 years ago

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The trailer unveiled at that one con (idk which, I wasn't there, wish I was) is making me fucking feral

Like I could make a separate post on every single clip shown because I'm just so in love with this damn show

So I'm just gonna list off my favorites.

Barbie wire is coming, she's hot asf, her voice suits her PERFECTLY, I just love her, especially her tattoos/birthmarks/scarification?

Stolas awkwardly going ".....sexy?" While someone is attempting to fucking kill him is weirdly in character for him

OH GOD HE GETS STABBED IM GONNA CRY

Moxxie gets to be the true girly pop we always knew he was

Barbie wire fight scene barbie wire fight scene barbie wire fight scene barbie wi

Andrealphus. Something about him makes me really wanna shoot myself /j

And did I mention B A R B I E W I R E

There's another shot of sick ass demon possession stolas I just love when he does that it's so cool

I'm starting to hate fizzarolli less (my love for Alex brightman is helping that)

Striker striker striker striker striker striker striker striker

FIGHT SCENES SO MANY FIGHT SCENES I LOVE

Usually I say to eat the rich but moxxies dad has too much visual appeal (no I'm not hitting on him he just has an interesting design)

My friend Caleb (met him on scratch, he's very nice) watched it and now we are both going feral over it

Vivzie is my favorite person ever like this show brings me so much joy it has literally kept me from committing die several times /gen

Anyway I have school tomorrow, I gotta go to sleep. I'm gonna be thinking about it all day hyperfixations are the best thing to ever happen to me

#helluva boss #helluva boss season 2 #helluvaboss #helluva boss s2 #helluva boss stolas #stolas #helluva stolas

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feralbeeast · 2 years ago

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I don't know what else to do so I'm gonna rant on here since so one really sees my posts anyways.

I'm never going to be enough, for anyone or anything. I'm always going to be a burden whether it be emotionally, mentally, or financially. I dont believe my loved ones when they say im not a burden because i know it isnt true, ive relied on things and people to make me "ok" my entire life. I burnt myself out before I even made it to adulthood and I don't know how to cope, prescription meds made me so fucking sick and vile I don't want and can't afford to go back to that again. The only coping mechanisms I have are isolation and weed, and neither of those are healthy but I guess it's better than self harming or just giving in. And sometimes those don't even work because of how exhausted I am in every. single. way. I'm too tired to keep living like this. I can't be responsible for myself how am i supposed to be responsible for others on top of struggling with myself. Im trying my god damned best and it will never be good enough for the people around me. That's not their fault but Jesus fuxking Christ I need something to change. No matter what happens I'm going to be fuxked, a wreck. And I can't do anything to stop that I just have to accept it and try my best to work with it. I will always hate myself and I've given up on me a very long time ago, but for those I love I will suffer until I physically can't anymore so they dont have to suffer as much. I wish people could see how much I do, how much I try, how much i care and understand.. and if the people I love do read this please don't blame yourself, this is all my fault and my burden to bare. I wish this world was kinder but this is the reality we live in and it's not changing anytime soon, in fact it's getting worse. Especially for people like me who is mentally ill, trans nonbinary, pansexual, and neurodivergent. This society was not meant for me and it never will be I have accepted that a long time ago. Maybe it's better off If I'm just gone. Everything this world has put me through should've killed me a long time ago, im jealous of the dead. I just want everything to stop so I can breathe. And I feel so fucking selfish for even thinking about killing myself but it's always there it's always the backup for me and it always will be, I've tried so fucking hard to be okay for the sake of my partner my cat and my family but im so fucking tired. Sometimes I think about how better off everyone would be if I stayed the "perfect quiet little girl" I was before I stood up for myself and left the overly abusive household I was in. I graduated high school out of spite of my family because they all thought I couldn't do it or I was gonna turn into a druggie like my parents were when they were my age. I'm so fucking jealous that my dad got to escape this world when he did and I wish he took me with him. I'm just, done. I've been living for other people my entire life not one minute of my life was spent just for me and I don't even know how to feel about that, I feel selfish for even wanting to live for me and I feel like an idiot for thinking I even possibly could. I'm going insane and there's nothing anyone can do except watch me burn. I have mourned me almost my whole life, the me you see now is not who I am. I lost myself the day I had to grow up and raise myself before I was even in school.

I wish I had somewhat a normal childhood, I wish I could've enjoyed the time I had. I will never get that time back or those people.

#vent #im sorry #trigger warning

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d4ldolly · 14 days ago

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bruv I'm so tired of being misunderstood. like i jus wish there was a second me so i could actually relate??

like for one seeing people eat makes me so sick inside i wanna tear my guts out. it's not that im disgusted that their eating its more like sadness?? no this is not that "ohh seeing that old grandpa eat is so sad" like it could be legit anybody. its especially bad 4 me in cafeterias or restaurants. idk why seeing people eat makes me sad. it's made me cry in multiple occasions.

i hate eating. i hate being full. i hate that i have to constantly consume plants and vitamins and nutrients and other organisms and carbs and fat and sugar and eeuggh gross. having an empty stomach is sm better. that numb ache in your body feels so elating compared to the uncomfy fullness you get from eating.

I wish i looked better. I'm 98.8 lb the last time I checked (like 5 hours ago) and that seems pretty light but god damn why cant i just look skinny. i hate how my thinner friends always say "oh you should eat more your so skinny!!" ... please shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up i dont wanna hear that ever again.

recently I've begun thinking how the world would react if i died. (like the people i know and how my disappearance would influence the area I'm in) i think they would notice but just kinda forget. and yk i thought of this vice versa too. if my best friend (the very very best friend) died i don't think it would bother me all that much. maybe I'm just to proud 2 admit that I'm attached to the people i know but like.... I'm so young does it really matter if one girl I've known for three years completely disappears from my life? and i want 2 be connected with people and tell them I'd miss them every time they say they wanna kill themselves but damn. i feel like I'm just lying to them. i hope this is normal and I'm not a sociopath or anything lolol

again on the topic of sh i just like hurting myself. no I'm not depressed or suicidal or have anxiety I've never been classified as one of those. anyways i rlly like the look of scars and blood on me!! I think it's so pretty. and like bruises make me look so colorful and beautiful i want them everywhere. why did blood have to be the most gorgeous red I've ever saw. like dang god you did eat w that part of our creation

#@n@#@n@ rant #@n@ rules #4nor3xia #⭐️rving #tw f4sting #d4l speaks #ed but not ed sheeran #self h@rm #cvtt!ng #cvtblr #self mutilator

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adezahnae · 4 years ago

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While We’re on a Little Trip (Part 6)

A/N: IM LATE AS FUCK WITH THIS CHAPTER BUT HERE IT IS!! DON’T KILL ME😭😭

Warnings: Smut, flashback, angst, mentions of drugs, prostitution, heartbreaking, murder, etc....

Tagged People: @ahgasearmyfan @whoreforshuaaa @avada-kedavra-bitch-187 @janedukiesworld @staynctzen127 @keeach @nanascupid @winwiniee @stormxiii05 @winkoes

Your POV

I laid there, silently crying as I replayed the event in my head. I kept feeling the slap to my cheek each time he ran his hand over my hair. I flinched away from him when I felt a small tug on my hair. “I’m sorry...” He mumbled. I sniffed and nodded my head letting him know that it was okay.

He breathed out and pulled me closer to him. I felt stiff in his arms now. The fact that he put his hands on me in such a harsh way it ruined me. I could still smell the stench of the weed he was smoking. There was so many questions running. Too many, so I want some fucking answers. “Who is she?” I asked. “Y/n-“ “I want to know, who the fuck is Alexa!?” I yelled sitting up crying.

He sat up with me and pulled me towards him. “FUCKING TELL ME! IM SICK OF YOU AVOIDING THIS!!” I yelled. He sighed in defeat. “Okay..come here.” He said. I looked at him and turned in his direction. “Alexa is, your sister....” He said. I felt my breathing stop.“What?! N-No...That’s not true...you got her pregnant with a child?! I have no sister!” I denied. “Alexa was before Mia and you.” He said.

“...H-How did you meet her?” I asked. “Okay...it was five years ago..I was at a club with my workers.” He said.

Flashback...

Jaehyun’s POV

I got out of my car and walked up to the club with my men behind me and few of my workers. The bodyguard instantly let me through with my men and smiled. “Good evening, Mr. Jung sir..” He said. I nodded in his direction and continued to walked. I got in and I smiled, watching everyone dance on one another and drink.

I walked to the VIP section and sat there, watching everyone from a distance. One of my customers came up to me. “Jae! Man...I need another hit..” He said. “What?” I asked, lighting a cigarette. “I need some more!” He said. I cocked my eyebrows and leaned forward. “I gave you two packs three days ago.” I said. He shook his head nervously laughing. “N-No you didn’t!” He said. I blew out the smoke leaning back in my chair.

“Yes I did. Where’s my money for those two packs?” I asked. He sighed. “Look, I will get your money tomorrow! I promise!” He said. I jolted up from my seat and grabbed his shirt. All of my men pulled out their guns, pointing to him. “You said yesterday. Look you junky fuck, I don’t play about my goddamn money. I want my shit now. Now where is it?” I growled. He shook in my grip, not responding. I furrowed my eyebrows and pushed him in the face.

“ANSWER ME WHEN IM TALKING DAMN IT!” I yelled. “I don’t...have the money...” He admitted. I let his shirt go and let out a chuckle. I kicked his stomach and stomped his head. He yelled out in pain as I continued to beat him. “Now you know what that means right?” I asked.

He shook his head, coughing. “Mike, take him out back. I don’t need a mess on my outfit.” I said sitting down in my chair again. The guy gasped and shook his head. I took a puff of my cigarette and watched them carry his outside the club.

I turned back around and seen a beautiful girl. I watched her as she smiled and swayed her hips to the music. I seen her look over at me with a seductive eye. I smirked and motioned her to come to me. She did so, strutting over to me. She made it to the VIP and she sat down beside me.

“Hello there, pretty..” I said. She giggled and replied. “Hey there, sexy..” I smirked. “Why don’t you come and sit down with me, hm?” I asked. She did so and scooted towards me. I gave her a glass and poured champagne in it. “Thank you.” She said sipping from it. I took a glass for myself and leaned back, putting my hand over the the back of the chair where she sat.

“Are you alone?” I asked, referring to a man. “Yeah, friends forced me out. I’m happy that came though. I met an attractive guy like you.” She said. I chuckled and drunk from my glass. “How nice of you to say..” I replied. “What’s your name?” She asked.

“Jae. And yours is?” I asked. She smiled. “Alexa.” She said. I took her hand and gave her a kiss. “Nice to meet you miss Alexa.” I said. She blushed. “You look adorable like that, I wish I could see you do it all the time.” I said, brushing my thumb over her cheek. I took the bottle of champagne. “You want another glass or do you wanna go?” I asked.

She kicked off her heels and leaned closer to me. “I think, I’m gonna want another glass. You’re too attractive to pass up.” She said holding her glass out. I poured her a glass and sat the bottle down. “I have to say, I like the way you demand power from others and how you get your respect. It’s sexy..” Alexa said.

I chuckled and took my glass, sipping the wine from it. “I have my ways, beautiful. You like bad men like me?” I joked. “I heard bad men give you a feeling you’ve never felt before..” Alexa said. “Hm,” I sat my glass down and brushed her hair behind her ear. “You wanna test that rumor, Princess?” I asked. She bit her lip as she looked at me.

- -

“Ohh fuck Jae...” Alexa moaned in my ear. I groaned and lifted her leg up, putting it over my shoulder. “Shit, you’re so wet..” I mumble. She moaned and wrapped her other leg around my waist. I smirked and lifted her from the bed, taking her to the wall of my bedroom and slammed her against it, ramming into her again.

Her hands went to my back and scratched down it, making me bit my lip. “Fuck, baby.” I whispered. She threw her head back against the wall, groaning. “Fuck yeahhh!! Oh my god, I’m gonna cum.” She moaned. I angled my hips to get a better angle.

She gasped and gripped on me hard. “Right there! Ahh shit! Yess!!” She exclaimed. Found her spot. As she clenched around me, I felt myself coming close as well. I placed my hands against the wall, ramming harder and harder into her. “Are you gonna cum, huh slut? You gonna squirt on this dick again?” I asked her with a smirk. She nodded her head.

I tsked. “I can’t fucking hear that. Say it..” I said. She groaned out. “DADDY IM CUMMING! AHHH MY GODDD!!!” She cried. I grunted as I came in the condom as well as she squirted. I brought her back to my bed and I pulled out quickly and rubbed my hand over her clit, making her squirt more. She cried out as she made a mess on my rug. I smirked and kissed her. “Good fucking girl..” I praised.

Her body calmed down and she weakly smiled. “That’s...oh my god..” She said. I smirked and lifted her up to her feet and helped her to my bathroom. I turned the shower on for her and let her get in. “Aren’t you gonna join me?” She asked. I got in the shower with her. “I guess I will..” I said.

- -

We were both in bed, sleeping. I felt her hand reach over me and go to my wallet, beside me. I furrowed my eyebrows and grabbed her hand. I heard her gasp and I opened my eyes. “You’re a hooker?” I asked her straight forward. “No...” she mumbled. I turned to her. “Then why are you going in my wallet?” I asked.

“I need the money...” She said. I cocked my eyebrow. “For..?” She bit on her lip in nervousness and rushed out my bed. I grabbed her by the arm to stop her from leaving. “No. Tell me why do you need it and maybe I’ll give it to you.” I said. A tear rolled down her face. “My boss will kill me..” She said.

“Who is your boss?” I asked sitting her down and sitting beside her. “I can’t say..” She said. “Yes you can, tell me..” I said, placing my hand on her cheek to calm her. “His name is King. He claims to be the King of all gangs. He runs me as a prostitute to take money from gang leaders. He’s also I guess my pimp or whatever he calls himself when talking to me. He told me if I didn’t get his money in two hours, I’m gonna be dead.” She explained.

I chuckled and got up from my seat beside her. I went to my closet and pulled out my sweatpants and a hoodie of mine. I threw it to her. “Put that on.” I said going to the closet. I pulled out one of my suits and began to dress. “Where are we going?” She asked from the room. I came back, buttoning up my shirt. “We’re going to your boss.” I said. “You look...good..” She said. I smirked.

“Thank you very much.” I said pulling on my jacket, finishing the suit. “HAECHAN!” I called making her jump. “Calm down.” I said. He came in the door. “Yes sir?” He asked wiping his face, trying to remove the red lipstick on his lips. I furrowed my eyebrows and looked him up and down. “Are you making out with a girl?” I asked. He nervously darted his eyes from me.

“Sorry sir..” He nervously laughed. I sighed and pinched my eyes, sighing. “Johnny!” I called. “Yes sir?” He asked. “Go and get the car ready. I have to make a trip.” I said. He nodded and walked away. “Come on.” I said to her. She followed behind me. “What are you going to do to him?” She asked. “Just gonna talk...” I said.

We made it in the car and I turned to Taeil. “Find King...who?” I asked Alexa. “King Chu.” She said. “Yes. Find his location.” I said. He typed in the name of the hacking computer. We waited for the process and it finally popped up. “He’s in a warehouse near the Seoul Hotel.” Taeil said. I patted his back. “Thank you. Keep him tracked for me.” I said. “Yes sir.” He replied.

“Jungwoo, go ahead and drive.” I said sitting back in my seat. “Yes sir.” He said starting the car.

- -

We made it to the location. “Slowly pull up.” I said. He did so and stopped the car. I breathed out. “Johnny, Taeyong, Mark, Yuta with me. You three keep a look out for any of his men who approaches the warehouse. Take them down when you see them.” I ordered and opened the door. “Yes sir.” They said. I made my way to Alexa’s side and helped her out the car.

I walked to the door and everyone kicked the door open. Johnny and Yuta rushed over to King and grabbed him, putting him on his knees in front of me. Mark and Taeyong pointed their guns at him. “Who the fuck are you?! Hey-“ I nodded for Johnny to hit him in his head with a gun to shut him up. “Don’t even try to call anyone. They will all be dead in seconds. I have ten men in cars each, surrounding your warehouse and three by the door. And trust me, all they need is snap of a finger to blow this shit up with you in it.” I said.

He glanced at Alexa. “Why do you have her? She’s useless..” he scoffed. I landed a punch to his face, making his mouth bleed. “Belittle her again I will fucking kill you.” I growled. He laughed. “You fell in love with her after a few hours and now you’re here, beating me up like you own the damn world? Huh! How pathetic. I don’t fucking know you.” He spat. “Well how about we greet each other then. What’s you’re name?” I asked, knowing the answer. “It’s King. And how about yours you wanna be fancy thug?” He scoffed. I smirked. “It’s Jae..” I said.

His head snapped in my direction. “Fuck...” He whispered. “Surprise, surprise...” I said. “Look....I’ll give you all you want! I-I didn’t mean to disrespect you in anyway!! I just...didn’t know it was actually you standing in front of me. I-I worship you!” He ranted in fear. “To hell with all of that bullshit. You try and claim that you are the boss of all gangs, huh?” I asked. “Sir, please...” He said. I gripped his hair.

“At this rate, you’re one of my bitches.” I growled. “Sir...I mean no disrespect to you...Do you want Alexa? I-I’ll give her to you! She’s free! Take her!” He said. I grabbed Yuta’s gun from his waist and slapped him with it. “Does it look like I’m here for me to take her!?” I yelled. He whimpered in pain. “I’m sorry! I’m sorry, just let me go! I’ll give everything I own to you!” He cried. “I already own everything you have, including you! As I said, you are one of my bitches.” I spat.

“How about I run you like you run Alexa huh?” I asked. “Sir..what is your point in this?” He asked. I hit him again with the gun, making him cry out in pain more. “THE FUCKING POINT IS, WHY ARE TREATING HER LIKE A DAMN PROSTITUTE!?” I yelled. “It’s how I also get money! I’m sorry I’ll never do it again! I’ll never take your name again and I will treat her right! Just one more chance sir!!” He begged and cried. “No..One thing about me is that I don’t give second chances to fakes like you. I should fucking kill you.” I said.

He panicked. “Sir! Please! I-I’ll do anything!!” He said. “Fuck that. Tie him up.” I said, taking off my jacket. Yuta and Johnny lifted him to his feet and took the rope they had. They tied his hands up and dragged him to a pole, hanging the loose end there so he could hang. I walked over to him and took his gun and knife. I took the knife and stabbed it in his side. He screamed out in pain. “Sir please!! Stop this!” He cried. “Beg for it, bitch.” I growled.

“Sir..please! I admit my mistakes and I will never do it again!!” He cried. I took the knife and cut his face. “I don’t think that was convincing enough. I said, beg for it Bitch..” I growled grabbing his chin, forcing him to look at me. “I’m sorry sir...please! Please let me go! Sir, I’ll obey your orders only! No one else’s and not even my own! I won’t tell people how you look or anything, just pleaseeee let me go!!” He cried out. I slit his chest, legs, arms, and face again.

“I don’t think I’m pleased bitch. Do something to make me happy.” I said standing back. “I can’t...My lord, My Boss, My Master. I won’t do anything like this again!!” He said. “Master is a very intriguing name to call me...hm. Say it again.” I smirked. “Master! My Master!” He yelled. “Now who’s bitch are you?” I asked. “I’m my Master’s bitch!” He cried.

I smirked. “Good, now you have one more thing to do for me.” I said setting the knife down. “Yes?” He asked. “Take your beating like a good bitch. Boys, beat him.” I said walking away. They all rushed over and began to beat him with everything they had. I sat in his chair and watched. I looked over to Alexa watching in fear. “Come here.” I said calmly. She walked over to me hesitantly. I pulled her into a hug. “Its alright. Really.” I said. She looked in my eyes and nodded. I smiled and turned to the guys.

“Stop.�� They all pulled away from his aching body. “Alexa, do you want to say anything to him?” I asked. “No...kill him..I hate him..” She mumbled against my shirt. “Okay..Mark. Taeyong. Shoot.” I said. King began to panic and cried and scream. “No! No please! I’m sorry!” He cried. Taeyong and Mark cocked their guns back and shoot him 27 times.

They left his body hanging, dripping of blood. I grabbed my jacket and put it on. “Let’s go.” I said. Everyone followed out after me and I took Alexa by the hand. “No one is gonna hurt you anymore. You’re all safe.” I said. “But..I have no where to go! My mom kicked me out the house!” She cried. “You will live with me. We’ll take care of you. That’s honesty.” I said. She fell to her knees and hugged my legs. “Thank you! I need this!” She cried. “Of course...” I said. There was something about this girl that I love...I don’t know what it is...

Your POV

“You mean to tell me...that you are a..a gang lord?” I asked hurt. He sighed. “Yes..but that’s all behind me now..” He said moving towards me. I avoided his touch. “No...I need some time..this is...” I said getting off the bed. “Y/n..don’t leave me. I really need you..you’re the one person who changed my life for the best. I can’t live without you. You just can’t leave me. There’s not a second in my life that I don’t hope and wish that my past will come up to you and my daughter. I hate my old life. My dreams, every night...is that I get murdered or you get killed by some random thug off the street who hated me, and my daughter gets shot in her head. please...Y/n I’m at my breaking point right now..I can’t do this alone. I think I might go crazy if you leave me. D-Don’t leave me..”

He began to cry and I hesitantly went to him. I pulled him in my arms and hugged him. “It’s okay..it’s alright..I promise..” I said. He grabbed onto my body as if it was the last time he would hold me again. “Y/n, I mean it..if you leave, I will snap. I won’t be myself anymore..I feel myself breaking. The old me is trying to force its way out..” He said. I froze. Those words sent chills though my body. I felt..scared of him..he laid us down on the bed and he tugged my hair behind my ear. “Don’t leave..” He warned. I shook my head. “I won’t.” I mumbled. He kissed my lips and pulled my body close to him.

I felt his breathing even out as he fell back asleep. I still had so many questions, but one lingered the most. “What will happen if I actually left?” My body was already afraid, my mental state was ruined and I feared nothing but him. My heart was yelling for me to stay but..my mind and body said different. I just needed some time alone. I slipped out of his grip and went to the bathroom.

I looked up in the mirror to see the black eye he gave me. I seen the red bruises he left on my body and I could still see the grip marks on my neck along with hickies. I shed a tear as the moments replayed again. “BITCH!” Slap. I flinched at the memory and made my mind up of what I needed to do.

I walked back out the bathroom and grabbed my robe. I took a duffle bag and packed everything I needed in there. I threw it over my shoulder and peeked over at him to see him sound asleep. My heart ached and cried as I looked at him. Am I really about to leave the man I care for and love? I have to...

I quietly walked out of the room and to Lia’s, packing all her outfits and toys and cup. I took her bag and picked her up carefully. She mumbled in her sleep. “Mommy..” She said. “Shh...You and mommy are going somewhere..” I said. “Where are we going? Where’s Daddy?” She asked as I walked out of her bedroom with her blanket.

“Shh, daddy can’t go right now. He’s sleeping. Just go back to sleep.” I said. She hummed and fell asleep. I made it to the door and gripped the door knob. I looked back to the bedroom he was in and I closed my eyes. I breathed out and opened the door, leaving him behind...

#jaehyun smut #jaehyun x reader #jaehyun ff #jaehyun nct #nct 127 smut #nct 127 x reader #nct 127 ff #nct 127 #nct smut #nct x reader #nct ff #nct

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just-vibingfr · 3 years ago

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Ok ok I want 23 13, and i forgot the number but it said like I’m sorry I’m such a burden so yea with jj maybank im a sucker for angst

Same! Like mood 25/8 is angst, angst, angst!

WARNINGS: Mentions of rape, suicide, self harm, close friends and family thinking you are a liar, ANGST ANGST ANGST, cursing, reader will be using They/Them pronouns.

A/N: I went really angst in this one, this will be all angst with no fluff, at all, like none. Please do not read if anything mentioned will trigger you. This is going to be one of the last OBX fics for a few weeks, I’m going to finish the other four requests I have then I will be writing some Harry Potter Marauders Era stuff! Thank you all for being so patient! I love you guys ❤️ 💕 Bold will be flashbacks!

ABDUCTED

Prompts- 13:God I wish that you had thought this through before I went and fell in love with you. 23:I was kidnapped, I was r@ped! 49: I-I-I’m sorry I’m such a burden

JJ POV:

Thirteen weeks. Thirteen fucking weeks. That’s how long it’s been since they went missing. God, all I can think about is our last conversation.

“I slept with her okay?! I cheated on you and I don’t regret it. At all. You have been nothing but a pain in my ass trying to fix me. Setting me in a path to what, redemption?! Well guess what it’s never gonna fucking happen because I’m a no good, dirty, pogue! My whole family has been doomed to live here, always poor, always a bunch of dead beat losers! I cant be fixed, this is my destiny, so go fuck yourself and you pathetic hopes and dreams and morals! Because none of us liked you anyways, we were only using you to help us grieve after we lost John B. He’s back now, so we don’t fucking need you okay?! I don’t need you! I never have and I never will!”, I ranted. I’m angry at my dad, angry at myself for cheating, angry at Rafe for getting away with everything, angry at Ward for being a bastard, angry at Y/N for making me fall in love with them. I am just so angry. I didn’t mean to take it out on them, but they were there. They’ve always been there even when I treated them like shit. That’s the problem, they were there. I don’t know what to do, I’m so used to pointless hook ups, empty relationships, and abusive behavior, that when someone puts me in a freaking pedestal like I’m actually worth something I flip. I have been looking down for the past five minutes. All I know is their muffled sobs, how their eyes are probably red rimmed and bloodshot, how they’re probably pulling on their wrists like they do when they’re stressed. If I look up I might just crack. “God I wish that you had thought this the before I went and fell in love with you!”, they screamed, letting out all of their emotions. “You said I was different, you said you saw a future together! You told me you fucking loves me! You fucking piece of shit! I hope you get everything you want in the sickest sense! I hope you remember me and feel nothing but pain and guilt! I’m done with you Maybank!”,Those words cut deeper than any blade or bullet could. Being told those venomous words by the person I love most in the world hurts, but I deserve it. I hurt them more than anything, I broke them.

But, now I see truth in their words. Every time I think of them all I can feel is pain, guilt, and remorse. It was all my fault.

Y/N POV

I stumbled through woods. Safety. That’s all I can think. Safety. Safety. I kept stumbling around going anywhere, anywhere as long as it’s away from fucking Jules. That’s what they would call my kidnapper and rapist, Jules. He earned that name because he would take a piece of jewelry off of every virgin he raped. Pathetic. My lower half ached, my mind fuzzy, my wrists scarred. Thirteen weeks, that’s how long I’ve been missing. Thirteen weeks or rape and abuse. Twelve weeks of self harm. I started slitting vanes on my ankles, and the back of my knees, to feel something. Something other than the pain he caused. Self inflicted pain was a way out, a way to still have freedom and independence. Sick and twisted, I know, but it was my way of rebellion. I started to break down crying in the middle of, woods?! It these woods are familiar and I can hear the sound of the ocean. Outer Banks… Outer Banks! Thank God! I’m home. I’m safer, I’m back. I kept stumbling around, my tears making it harder to see. Up ahead I saw what looked like porch lights. “Help! Help!”, I yelled out, although the dryness of my throat mad it extremely difficult.I sped up, basically running to reach a sense of haven. Once I arrived at the house I realized where I was. The Chateau. Anywhere but here. But I needed help, and I was lucky I even found my way here. I knocked on the door, actually I pounded on the door. I was desperate. I heard shuffling and then the door opened revealing a very disheveled Pope, Kiara, Sarah, John B, and JJ.

“Y/N?! How-What-! Just- just come in!” Pope said frantically .

“What happened?!”, Kiara and Sarah said in unison. The boys nodding their heads in agreement to the question.

“I-erm- I was kidnapped, I was raped. I was held in a where house with the other girls. This bitch named Jules was the one in charge. He would take turn with the girls. It was terrifying. I thought he was going to kill me once he saw me helping one of the girls with her miscarriage. I had already had three or four myself and a few of the girls actually gave birth in that where house. The youngest to have a baby was eleven. Eleven fucking years old. I just ran out of the door one day, I got shot. It’s been a few days, maybe five or six? All I know is that I had to burn the wound to stop the bleeding. And I feel really sick right now. I think I’m going to vomit.”, I said before passing out.

I woke up in a hospital bed. The lights burning my eyes. The sheets clean. Someone had bathed me and changed my clothes. I felt clean, it felt good. Everyone scrambled to get up at my sudden consciousness. Looking at me with that pity in their eyes. That pitiful look that made me regret telling them. I didn’t want their fucking pity, I just wanted them to know I have new boundaries, and as my friends they deserved to know. The doctor came rushing in, asking me to explain what happened. I explained everything, the trauma bringing ugly sobs. I didn’t care. I had just been through hell and back, I was allowed to shed some god damn tears.

I was discharged later that day when they had diagnosed me with PTSD, anxiety, ADHD, and self harm. Yay. Weeks went by with my friends checking up on me, never leaving my side: I loved them all for it, but I could see the look of boredom in their eyes, the look that said as soon as I was good enough to be on my own they would leave me to my own devices. It hurt, everything did. I didn’t deserve to put them through this, watching me fall apart. I didn’t deserve this. I needed to end the pain. I had to. And I needed to do it now. I pulled out a piece of paper and a pen, went to the nearest flat surface and began writing.

“ I’m sorry I’m such a burden. But thank you for taking care of me. Thank you for supporting me. I didn’t really get to know you before John B and Sarah, I see that I really missed out on some good people. Kie, you have been nothing but amazing to me. I can’t thank you enough. Pope, you are like a workers mix of older brother, younger brother, and dad. It always amazes me how you can be protective as fuck, need protecting, and are always prepared with that mind of yours. JJ, I’m sorry. Sorry that we ended things on such terrible terms. You deserve the world and I couldn’t give that to you, I truly apologize for holding you back. But you did break me that night, I was going to end it then, but I was abducted. Ironic how I’m ending it now. I love you all and wish you the best! “

Love, Y/N ❤️

I folded the letter and set it on the island with the pen. Then I crawled into the tub, slit my wrists, and let the darkness take over, sweet, safe, darkness.

@hannahnikohl

#kiara outer banks #outer banks #pope heyward #jj maybank #john b routledge #sarah cameron #pogues for life #outer banks angst

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jaesvelvet · 3 years ago

Text

jealousy jealousy — kim junkyu

words: 1.7k words

warning: grammartical errors,idk what i write does it make sense? reader being insecure!

pairing: junkyu+fem reader

notes: i want to publish my jihoon's ff but i haven't finish it yet since my school is starting soon😭 anyway this ff inspired by olvia rodrigo's song, jealousy jealousy (remember you're beautiful just like the way you are!!!🤍)

you couldn't help but grinned as you step into the famous YG building. it feels like a dream come true. you used to be a trainee in a small company for 5 months before decided to left, you realized that you didn't have the talent to be an idol, you're just average on everything, that's all. you gasped when you saw a huge screen in front of the escalator playing blackpink's mv on the screen. YG is that rich exactly like the news said.

"y/n!"

you turn, grinning widely at junkyu, who from the convenience store with some snacks on both of his hands. you waved at him and junkyu laugh in response

"i'm sorry for being late," he said, handing some bread to you

"no it's okay i just got here," you said

you and junkyu are best friends since high school, you're the one who supported junkyu's journey to debut, and junkyu was grateful to have a friend like you, junkyu always convince you to audition at YG but you refused since you now want to focus on your studies. but after junkyu accidentally saw a book full of lyrics song at your desk, he forced you to record one of the songs in his studio and release it on soundcloud so junkyu could promote the song to his fans.

of course, you reject the offer saying you can't sing and you don't want any attention in the university. a medical science student releases a song on a soundcloud, out of the blue, and treasure junkyu promoted her music?? no way!

however junkyu being junkyu, he didn't give up and keep encouraging you to record one of your songs, you didn't need to prepare anything just bring the lyrics and yourself, and the rest, he will work on it. after weeks tried to convince the you, you finally agreed with one term; which is junkyu need to buy you food. a lot of food.

"okay so here it's my studio, um it isn't something to brag about since half of the members have their studio," he said, opening the door of his studio showing his messy studio with a big portrait of treasure on the wall.

"you should clean your studio if you want to impress a girl kyu" you joked, getting a whine from junkyu mumbling that he would never see the world again if he brings a 'girlfriend' over.

junkyu pressed something on his keyboard and bass sound came out, making you flinch, the instrument that junkyu creates is mellow and kinda strident? as soon as you heard the instrument you know which lyrics from your lyrics book would go along and make a perfect song

"i have a perfect song for this" you excited, taking out your black notebook and turn to a back page—clearly the lyrics are fresh from the oven.

"okay i'm gonna play it and you sing the lyrics okay?"

you nodded and sing a little bit of the lyrics

"i kinda wanna throw

my phone across the room

'cause all i see are girls

too good to be true"

"woah! it's perfect" junkyu gasped, amazed at how the instrument he made suits perfectly with your lyrics. you smile, you didn't suprised much since you know how much passion junkyu has in music.

"okay now you eat first, i'm gonna rearrange the lyrics to suit with the melody," he said and get a nod from you. you eat the bread that junkyu bought for you, you also eyeing the studio, it's kinda cold in here cause the space not too big and they put a big ass aircond on top of you.

junkyu notice your quiver, he rolled his eye when you only wearing a thin black shirt material, he scoffs before handing you his pink hoodie that he left in the studio yesterday.

"i won't turn off the aircond so you must wear this hoodie, it's been a week since i wash it," he said in a teasing voice, you frown yet you have no choice to wear the pink treasure hoodie or else, you're gonna die in this cold studio.

you sigh in relief when the hoodie warms your cold body, you side-eyeing junkyu who looks so serious rearrange the lyrics, you then click on the instagram icon, you felt blue as you saw haeri post on your feed— haeri is a popular rich girl in your university, you and her once assigned in a group for an assignment and she is very kind and open about her opinions, she also very serious when it comes to study/work and she is pretty, to your eyes she is like a goddess. she is so pretty, kind, and selfless, and you really lying if you didn't jealous of her. she has a perfect life and you still struggling to get a diploma.

you slowly pressed the screen twice, liking a picture of haeri; wearing a beanie and a mask in a cafe without posing too much, getting 2 thousand likes within 1 hour. you wonder how is it to be like a rich popular pretty girl in university? well, damn sure you will get all of the pretty privileges in your life. you sighed as you realized you're comparing yourself again with haeri. you always remind yourself not to compare yourself to anyone since you're beautiful enough but you can't. the funniest thing is you and haeri didn't even know each other, yet you being so jealous of her life. sometimes you just feel small, you want to be like them.

"y/n!" junkyu shakes your body making you slap his hand

"what!?"

"i called you for like thousand times! you didn't hear me?" junkyu said, stroking his hand that got slapped by you

"oh i'm sorry, im zoning out, you're done rearranging?"

junkyu nodded

"you can listen to the instrument and practice your lyric with it," he said

"okay"

an hour passed, you finally get the tempo, beat, and rhythm right, you grin excitedly as junkyu put the headphones on your head and directing the microphone to you

"you ready?" junkyu asked

"yes i am" with that, junkyu clicked on something and you could hear the instrument, you begin to sing the verse of your song choice.

i kinda wanna throw my phone across the room

'cause all i see are girls too good to be true

with paper-white teeth and perfect bodies

wish i didn't care

you stop singing and look at junkyu curiously making junkyu paused the song and look back at you with a confused look

"why?"

"doesn't singer usually stop singing for producers fix their mistakes?" you asked making junkyu giggle

"yes that's true but you didn't have any mistake, you're doing good, i will pause the music if i have something to fix" he explained, getting an 'oh' from you. you continue singing the song.

i know their beauty's not my lack

but it feels like that weight is on my back

and i can't let it go

com-comparison is killin' me slowly

i think i think too much

'bout kids who don't know me

i'm so sick of myself

i'd rather be, rather be

anyone, anyone else

my jealousy, jealousy started followin' me

started followin' me

as you singing the song that you wrote, junkyu couldn't help but wonder who is the person, you dedicated to? or how you inspired to write this song? this song is obviously about your insecurities about some girl, and you don't even know her! junkyu pout when you felt like this, he knew how insecurities could kill you, back then when he was a trainee he felt insecure with all of the trainees that beat him to debut, he felt he doesn't belong in here but with you and his members on his side, he gained confidence and prove to the world that he is himself and nothing can change that.

all your friends are so cool, you go out every night

in your daddy's nice car, yeah, you're livin' the life

got a pretty face, a pretty boyfriend, too

i wanna be you so bad and i don't even know you

all i see is what u should be

happier, prettier, jealousy, jealousy

all i see is what i should be

i'm losin' it, all i get's jealousy, jealousy

you remove the headphone as soon as the instrument stop playing, you handing the headphone without noticing junkyu's face, chaeyul grabbed the water bottle and drink, her throat felt dry after singing a whole song which you have never done in your life, making you wonder how did singer voice so stable when singing live?

"kyu—oh my god why are you looking at me like that?" you take one step back as you saw junkyu looking at you with frowns on his face, you bit her lips was your singing that terrible?

"sit down here" he ordered, you quickly took a seat beside him without saying anything

junkyu grab your hand and rubs it softly while looking at you with his brown eyes.

"what you see is all fake y/n. she living her best life is what you see what you want, but you didn't see her pain, how hard she must through a day in her life, we didn't know if she struggles behind, you also know you can't compare yourself to others right? you're beautiful" he said

"but, i don't know kyu. i couldn't help but felt all jealous of her, i feel like a total loser" you said

“no y/n, you're not a loser! hear me out, you do great, you beautiful and an amazing person, so why do you need to be insecure to a person you never know? everyone is beautiful on their own, you're an original version of yourself and no one else could be you. you are special and unique, you wouldn't know if someone is jealous of your life, a successful medical student who has a great voice. you need to love yourself more, let yourself shine in your spotlight. trust me popular life wouldn't great as you think" he said

you smile at his words

"thank you kyu, honestly, you're right.i didn't appreciate myself enough this past week, hearing you said that making me feel great about myself, i am me, there's nothing anyone could change about me"

junkyu smile and pat your head

"that's my girl"

#treasure imagines #treasure scenario #treasure yg #treasure junkyu #kim junkyu #junkyu imagines #junkyu scenarios #junkyu fluff #junkyu angst #treaure blurbs

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crowtrinkets · 4 years ago

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Your Weary Widow Marches

A Gender Neutral MCxFelix fic in which our dear barista educates their teacher and shows him some music from their home.

I’ve never really written fanfiction before but I thought Id give it a shot. The formatting looks weird on my end so if it looks weird after posting I apologize I couldn’t figure it out. Hope you enjoy!

—-

The crackling fire and pages being turned were the only sounds heard for the past few hours. Felix and I sat on either side of a couch placed in Anisa’s office silently reading our respective books. I’ve been in Astraea for nearly a week and had I known that Felix’s teaching method would be done via reading books the size of an encyclopedia I probably would have chosen Sage or Anisa instead... probably

I glance up at Felix, he’s sitting with legs crossed slouching on the arm rest of the couch, glasses on and enthralled in his book. I'm leaning with my back against the arm rest facing Felix, peering at him from behind my knees. I watch as his eyes scan the pages, partially hiding behind my book so he doesn’t notice me stare. I rub my eyes, dry from the endless reading of Astraean history. I know plenty of history and lore from this world thanks to countless hours of playing Last Legacy and stalking forums, but I don’t think I could’ve convinced Felix of that without having to explain what video games are let alone the internet. He thought if I were to learn magic I should at least know part of its history and it’s contribution to their society.

Despite spending some time with Felix I'm still amazed at the attention span he has for reading. I scan the room trying not to move too much lest I be scolded by the warden. I glance over at the high back chair across the room. The one Anisa sat me in after my jaunt through Felix’s portal and painfully onto Anisa's desk. My mind begins to wander.

I’ve only been here a short time but I feel like I’ve adjusted well. I wonder what's happening on Earth. Does time pass the same at home like how it does in this realm? World? Alternate universe? I still don’t exactly know how to explain my predicament. Has anyone noticed I'm gone yet? I wonder if I’m on the missing persons list, someone at work will have noticed I didn’t show up for my shifts. I cringe slightly at that last thought, my open book now resting on my chest. Ah damn it, I’m definitely fired aren’t I. How am I gonna pay my bills.... and my home, I miss my bed....my plants. SHIT MY PLANTS. I bring my hand to my face and cringe, my beloved house plants they’re going to wither away in my absence. Fate is such a cruel mistress.

“Bored of reading are we?” I slightly jump at Felix’s comment. I bring my hand down and look at him. Staring at me through his glasses a smirk on his lips. I flush slightly and close my book.

“No I just, got to thinking about Earth, and my life, I guess I’m just a little home sick,” I mumble out those last words. I want to be honest with Felix but I don’t want him beating himself up for my situation. I mean yes he is the reason I’m stuck here but I don't hate him for it. Felix frowns and closes his own book.

“Ah... I am sorry about that, I-“ I sit up interrupting him.

“No no no, I'm not mad at you, I’m actually quite enjoying my time here. I mean I don’t have to make drinks for annoying customers everyday here,” I force a laugh but it comes out awkwardly. Felix gives me a quizzical look. I then realize, with the amount of times he calls “dear barista” I just assumed he knew what it meant. “Yknow, my job? A barista?” Felix flushes and avoids looking at me.

“I must admit.. I do not actually know what that is,” I cant help but chuckle, the great necromancer Felix, is embarrassed to not know something.

“Well my dear teacher," I emphasize the word teacher mimicking the way he calls me, "allow me to educate you on some Earth information,” I sit cross legged and scoot closer to him book in my lap. Felix adjusts to face me properly and removes his glasses. I clear my throat and smile at him. “My part time occupation of being a Barista, requires me to make drinks for customers and sell them, more often I make coffee but sometimes people order tea. We sell pastries as well,” Felix gives me yet another confused look.

“All you do is prepare drinks and flakey confectioneries?” I nod in response with a smile, I can only imagine what he assumed a Barista was. Felix chuckles and runs a hand through his hair, “All this time I thought it was something more complicated, you described your customers as being annoying? I am assuming you do not like this particular job?”

“Well, I don't hate it but the customers can get a little rude and for the dumbest reasons too. One time a woman threw her drink at me claiming I added 3 1/2 shots of espresso and rather than 3,” I laugh to my self looking back at the memory, chuckling more when I see Felix’s horrified expression.

“A woman... threw a drink at you? Because she deemed it made incorrectly? I did not except Earth customs to be so. . . Barbaric,” Felix looks at me astonished and confused but all I can do is laugh. “And why are you laughing? Are you alright did she hit your head when she assaulted you with a beverage?” Felix is now standing while I clutch my stomach in pain, the combination of the story and Felix’s confusion is too much to bare. After a minute I manage to calm down enough to speak.

“No no, she did not hit me in the head, I’m just laughing cause it was funny, well at the time it wasn’t but my co workers took pictures and I looked ridiculous. I can laugh about it now,” I wipe a stray tear from my eye as I recount the experience. Thank god her drink was iced.

“Picture?” Felix chimes in. I try to think of how to explain how photography works but I come up with an idea.

“Why don’t I show you?” I stand handing Felix my book and I jaunt over to Anisa’s desk. I let her peruse my backpack because she seemed so interested in my “Earthly items” as she called them. I walked back over and sit on the floor, patting the ground next to me so Felix can join.

“You known there is a perfectly good sofa right next to you, I don’t understand why you wish to sit on the ground like we are mere children,” but despite his protests Felix sits next to me still clutching our books. I rummage through my back tossing the other items to the side. My wallet, a flyer, a jacket, that granola bar which has definitely crumbled to pieces in its package. Until I finally find it, my phone. My first night here I instinctively tried to use it, forgetting I am now stuck in a world without wifi or cell towers. In an effort to hopefully conserve its battery I hard shut off my phone I did not think I would need it but now is an opportunity for me to educate Felix about my world rather than his and tell him a little about myself. Really I just want a reason to prolong my time from reading anymore history. I hold the power button and silently pray. Please have some battery left, please please. Felix is leaning towards me, his face inching closer to mine, I glance at him studying his expression. He looks confused, and curious at the same time, there's a slight scrunch in his brow like he’s trying to seem like he understands what I’m doing, but I know he doesn’t. In that moment his eyes meet mine, I turn my head to fully face him, a blush creeps up his face and I can feel mine begin to warm as well. “Felix-“

BING

We both jump at the sound of my phone turning on. Damn phone, well I guess I kinda asked for that. Felix sits back and clears his throat.

“Um, what, what is that?” His voice wavers slightly but I choose to ignore it to save him some dignity.

“Its my phone, on Earth nearly everyone has one of these. You can use it to communicate with other people, take pictures, look things up, and listen to music.” I begin to unlock it and open my photo album.

“You can communicate with other people? On this... this flat brick?” Felix points accusatory at my phone the scrunch in his eyebrows have intensified creating deep crevices on his forehead. I nod while I scroll through trying to find the photo.

“Yup and take pictures, such as this one,” I turn my phone to face Felix revealing the image documenting the after affects of being assaulted with coffee. He leans over to get a better look. In the picture I'm standing by the cash register, soaked through my clothes in an extra large coffee's amount of liquid. The brown liquid stains my apron and the parts on my white shirt poking out from underneath. There's smeared whipped cream going across my shoulder up my neck and partially along my jaw, and the scowl on my face could kill a man. The instant I show the picture to Felix he plants a hand over his mouth to stifle his laughter. He turns away in an attempt to hide his amusement but I know he wont last.

“Im-I must apologize I did not mean to laugh but, but the look on your face is hilarious,” Felix faces me again trying to hide his smile with the back of his hand. I start to chuckle, I turn the phone back to me and swipe to the next picture. Its a similar picture but in this one my co worker put whipped cream on top of my head, something about it “completing the look”. When I show this picture to Felix it breaks his terrible attempt of remaining poise. He laughs loudly, and it’s extremely contagious. I laugh along with him reminiscing in his beautiful laugh. Every once in a while we calm down until we look at the picture and we start up again. After a bit I’m able to calm down enough to speak.

“Don’t feel bad for laughing, at the time I was pissed but my co workers cheered me up and now I have these memories to laugh at,” I start to look through my album again as Felix calms down from his laughing high. I find more pictures to show him. Some are of me at work with my co workers, one picture of me laughing as I held a dog that jumped through the drive through window. I show him more pictures, some are of earth sunsets which Felix claimed to look like they belong in a painting. I also show him a picture of some Geese I saw while on a walk, and then a picture of said Geese chasing me. This gets Felix to laugh again but not as hard.

“You lead an interesting life on Earth, it seems similar to Sage you are also prone to provoke others into attacking you,” I roll my eyes at Felix’s joke and give him a friendly shoulder bump. Its at this moment I realize how close he’s sitting. Our books set aside and Felix is leaning on one arm politely looking over my shoulder at my phone, I can tell he doesn’t really understand how it works but it seems he’s enjoying this moment to much to ask. In an attempt to keep the sweet moment I change the subject.

“Hey do you want to listen to some Earth music?” With a nod from Felix I close the app and instinctively go to press my streaming app. Damn no Internet. I think for a second and remember I have some music I bought in times before streaming apps existed. I find the app and open it. Dear god my taste was cringey. I scroll through the songs until I stumble across a less than embarrassing song. “This is a classic where I come from, everyone has heard this song at least once. I lay back onto the floor so I can properly listen to the music. Felix looks at me and awkwardly lays down as well, I click on the song allowing it to play.

Just a small town girl

Livin' in a lonely world

She took the midnight train goin' anywhere

Just a city boy

Born and raised in South Detroit

He took the midnight train goin' anywhere

Felix gives me a puzzled look but I just shrug and look up at the ceiling. I close my eyes and take in the song as it plays. If I concentrate hard enough I can imagine my self back on Earth. Sitting in my room listening to 80s music while I do laundry or cook my dinner. I start to feel nostalgic again but I try not let my emotions take over. The song ends and I pause it before it plays the next song. I roll onto my side and rest my head on my hand.

“So what’d you think?” I beam at Felix, I genuinely want to know what he thinks of Earth music, and more specifically a song that I am quite fond of. Felix is laying flat on his back, he ankles crossed and his hands laying on his chest. He looks nervous to be laying on the ground next to me but has made no attempts to leave.

“I thought it was... interesting to say the least. It had quite a captivating story although I was confused when the subject changed multiple times, and what exactly are they trying to “not stop believing” in” Felix does air quotes and seems genuinely enthralled in the “story” of the song. I smile and start to look for another song.

“How about you choose the next one?” I tilt my phone towards him. Felix sits up at my question.

“I dont feel very well versed in Earth music though,” He mumbles. I shrug at his comment.

“Just pick one with a name that sounds interesting to you” I show Felix how to use the phone and hand it to him laying back down. I peek at Felix, he’s holding the phone in one hand and is scrolling with the other, he’s holding it like an old man. I watch his face, he’s thoroughly looking at every single song title and determining whether they are interesting or not. I find it... cute, his concentration face is cute. Oh if he caught me staring I know he would become a blubbering blushing mess, I mean I would be too. I close my eyes again as I wait for him to pick.

“This one seems interesting,” I hum in response, but when Felix says the title out-loud and panic seizes through me. I sit up and shout WAIT but I'm too late. He already pressed it. And then I hear it.

That dreaded, infamous G note. Felix turns towards me surprised and hastily hands the phone to me, I pause it before another note can play.

“Hells MC what will that song make my head explode or something??? You nearly made my heart stop.” Felix takes a deep breath with his hand on his chest.

“I'm sorry, that song its kind of embarrassing actually,” I can feel myself flushing, I look away in embarrassment at the fact that I had that song downloaded and the fact that I nearly sent my teacher into cardiac arrest.

“Embarrassing how?” Felix looks at me puzzled. I open my mouth to speak but then stop. Hold on a second, Felix doesn’t know this band, let alone what an emo phase is. Well judging by his raven skull necklace he does but not in the way I do. I guess it wouldn’t be so bad if we listened to it. I do still like their music. But god did it HAVE to be this song. I clear my throat and look back at Felix.

“Nothing, it’s nothing I was just being dramatic,” I stifle a laugh. “We can listen to it, I actually quite like this band,” Felix nods and turns to face my direction, were now both sitting cross legged and I press play on the song. I smile a little as the song plays and close my eyes again. I cant even remember the last time I listened to this song. My mind begins to wander again, to my younger years when I first heard this song.

I was such a try hard back then, wanting so badly to “be different” but also to mend the emotional pain I was going through, and this band really helped me through it. This song is a little more narrative than the last one so I hope Felix would like it. I can’t believe I freaked out like I did god he must think I'm crazy, or maybe that lady really did hit my head when she threw that drink at me. As the song plays I silently hum to it, quiet enough so that Felix might not hear. I drink in the lyrics and instruments and it feels like I'm listening to it again for the first time.

The song ends and I open my eyes again to pause the music before it plays another one.

“So what did you think of tha-“ before I can continue I'm stopped by the sight of Felix’s face. His eyes are misty and his nose is colored pink. Was he... was he crying? Felix looks at me and his eyes go wide. He quickly turns away and rubs at his face.

“There-there is quite a lot of dust on this floor, honestly you would think Annie would have any sense to clean in here every once in a while,” I cant help but smile, wow he really is a goth child.

“It’s ok Felix, this song makes me cry sometimes too,” Felix side eyes me and sniffles.

“I-I was not crying, yes I admit the song was... moving to say the least…. But, but I will not be mocked by you for my emotions,” Felix turns to face me again refusing to meet my eyes, his voice turning accusatory. I scoot closer to Felix and place a hand on his shoulder. He looks at me astonished and slightly flushed, either from the contact or the crying, I mean dust, I will never know.

“Congratulations” I say with a smile. Felix’s puzzled look twists even more.

“What ever are you talking about,” Felix questions.

“You’re emo now,”

#fictif games #fictif #fictif last legacy #last legacy fictif #last legacy #fictif felix #felix iskandar escellun #felix escellun #fictif sage #fictif anisa #crow writes

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sillyandquiteawkward · 4 years ago

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little father and bayley fic under the cut bc i forgot my ao3 password and im lazy. hope you enjoy

Food supplements and leafy greens sat on Doctor Bayley's plate, which he picked at distastefully. The Director of the Institute, Father, sat across from him, making decent headway with his own meal.

"I don't think I can ever learn to enjoy the food supplements. This flavor isn’t palatable either," Bayley curtly complained with a heavy sigh. He felt Father's lingering judgement upon him for refusing most of his meal again, without even having to look up. He poked at the slab of supplement with the tines of his fork. Even the various flavors the Institute boasted of supplements couldn't save Bayley from the pastes, powders, and bars turning his stomach. He was trying his best to find a flavor he could stand, but to Bayley, even mirelurk was easier to eat. At least the fresh vegetables were decent, if not simply boiled or baked if cooked at all. "I'd kill for some real meat on your menu."

"Come now, Doctor, we have little need to slaughter irradiated animals for food in this day and age. BioScience has developed the perfect meal dozens of times over, consisting of the exact amount of daily nutrients a man like yourself needs," Father replies coolly. Bayley glared at the older man. Of course he'd like them -- he grew up on the damn things. Well, Bayley grew up on real food!

"Designed a food that doesn't even fill your stomach," he mumbled behind his mug as he took a sip. Now to their credit, this was something Bayley actually liked. The coffee wasn't stale 200 year old beans and grounds. My god, they perfected the damn synthetic coffee and Bayley couldn't imagine going back.

Father confidently smirked, passing smoothly over Bayley's remark with a gentle shake of his head. "You poor surface dwellers, eating any and all the food you can scrounge to stave off hunger. I'm glad we were able to save you from that life. Give it time, Doctor. Your stomach will re-adjust to your new diet."

Bayley scoffed dismissively and set his fork down to keep nursing his coffee. Father took his own sip of tea. The pair fell into a dip of silence, accompanied by the gentle clink of silverware against plate as Father continued to finish off his lunch. Behind them a few tables over, there was a slight chatter from another pair of scientists in the cafeteria. Licking a crumb of food supplement left on the edge of his mug with a grimace, Bayley listened to their distant hushed conversation. Sounded like gossip about another scientist’s love affair... Hard to believe that even the “perfect” Institute could be filled with, what was ultimately, humans.

Father spoke up after a minute of Bayley straining to eavesdrop, "Why don't you tell me about yourself, Doctor?"

"...Why?" Bayley eyed Father suspiciously. "Don't you already know all about me? Isn't that why I'm here?"

Father took a warm sip of his mug before continuing. "I know about your reputation, or lack thereof." Bayley all but growled at the dig. "And I know you care deeply for the progress of humanity, as do I, albeit a tad misguided. You’re a highly intelligent man, Doctor, but I'm afraid I don't know about you, personally. I'd like to remedy that."

What could Bayley tell Father about? Why should he? Oh, but he loved to talk about himself... Bayley leaned back in his chair with folded hands in his lap, food left forgotten on his plate. "What is there to say? I'm a man married to his work, who likes breathing fresh air. On the surface."

“What got you into studying radiation?” Bayley noticed Father missed his complaint, or at least was ignoring it. “Surely you didn’t set out from the start on such a dangerous fascination.” Father had a look of curiosity on his face that seemed genuine to Bayley, although he still had suspicions this had ulterior motives.

“It was almost from the beginning actually. As I studied medicine in my youth, traveling along the Wasteland, I have to admit,” Bayley paused to consider his wording. “I had a distinct admiration of the ghoul’s ability to utilize radiation to build themself anew. The destructive power of radiation makes using it dangerous and even deadly, true, but I imagined a world where we could manipulate the human body to replicate how a ghoul’s body uses the gamma particles destructive properties to heal themselves, sans the ghoulification process of course.” Okay, so maybe he planned to be cagey, but Father just had to ask him about the thing he’s devoted his entire life to. Sorry, he’s gonna get excited. “I’d seen first hand ghouls reattach long lost limbs to themselves and remain functional, ferals even being brought back to life by glowing ones’ radiation bursts, and the stories of people growing functional limbs from radiation exposure caught my particular attention at a young age.”

“Fascinating things ghouls are, although their rotten brains and appearance are less than desirable. If anything their longevity is what catches my attention. Living over hundreds of years...” Father drifts off, looking past Bayley. “Imagine what one could achieve with that extra time.”

“Living forever doesn’t matter if you aren’t healthy,” Bayley corrected. “What’s the point of living if you are just suffering every day. I’m focusing myself to helping people in this day and age, instead of chasing functional immortality.”

“Maybe that’s the difference between us,” Father sighs. “Everything I do is for tomorrow, and tomorrow’s tomorrow. Humanity's future lies in our successor’s hands. It’s a shame we cannot directly work with our future generations to combine our knowledge. All we can do is help prepare them for when we are gone.”

“Eventually people in charge need to step down and let the fresh ideas in, otherwise we’ll collectively stagnate. We are stubborn creatures who hate change, snuffing out ideas that contradict our own. If someone like you lived forever, he’d never give up the reins.”

“I suppose you’d do the same,” Father states blandly, eyes half-lidded. “As you said, we are stubborn creatures.”

Bayley sputters, sitting back up in his chair. “No, I am the innovator in this scenario! I’ve been ostracized for my ideas, kicked out and shunned. No one sees my potential to change the world!”

“And in your age, have you begun to prepare an heir to your scientific knowledge, Doctor? Or do you think you can finish this chronicle yourself, with the few years left in your life?”

“I-I have to prove myself first! No one trusts my work because they don’t see the proof -- which I was working on when you so kindly stole me away from my clinic and subjects!” Bayley hissed, gripping the edge of the table.

Unphased, Father folded his hands on the table. “I trust your work, Doctor Bayley. I’ve seen your studies, seen what you can do when you are truly devoted to a cause. This is why I wanted you with us at the Institute. I want you to share your knowledge to us, so that we may pass it to the future with us. Let us help you ensure your legacy. We have the same goals, and we even have similar methods if you can believe it. Imagine what we can do together when we combine our knowledge, for humanity’s sake.”

Bayley raised an eyebrow at that. “Similar goals perhaps, but I wont be a part of the kidnapping and killing of Commonwealth citizens. You Institute folk are outrageously barbaric for all your self-righteousness.”

“We simply know how to weigh the importance of breaking a few eggs for the omelette. You too understand this principle closely, don’t you?”

Bayley grimaced flatly. “You truly know how to charm a man to your side.” This conversation was over if Bayley had anything to say about it, which he did. He gulped from his mug, keeping it up to his mouth as he turned physically away from Father. He’ll finish this and go back to his room. Trapped in the Institute with these madmen, forced to go along with things else suffer the same fate as the hundreds of others taken to the Institute. And Father had the gall to act like they were the same, that Bayley could excuse innocents murdered for “science.” He slammed the mug back onto the table.

“I hope you’ll understand one day soon, Doctor. I really do.” Father sighed, closing his eyes in defeat as Bayley stood up.

“I don’t want to understand,” Bayley said as he stormed past Father back to the concourse.

It was too much to think about, if Bayley was being honest with himself. He grit his teeth climbing the stairs, tense. A scientist descending the stairs stood to the side as Bayley passed, clearly wanting to give the angry man some space and avoid any conflict. Good. If he was to stay here, people should give way for him. Now if only Father was like that. He passed a pair of expressionless generation two synth guards eyeing their laser weapons as he ascended the next flight.

God, he was annoyed. Of course Father had to go ruin another meal together talking nonsense of Bayley hurting others. He tried his best not to hurt his subjects -- everyone was willing and importantly, no one had died under his care! Sick perhaps in the early days... but it wasn’t death! Bayley couldn’t stand the idea his great idea could possibly kill others when it was supposed to be helping them. If he was ever responsible for someone’s death...

Bayley slid open the automatic door to his small, barren room. It was just a simple bed and desk, which was plenty for Bayley, but he wished he had his trinkets and such if he was going to be living here until the day he dies. He collapsed onto the stiff bed, face pressing against the cool pillow. He missed his couch. He missed his clinic. Bayley even considered he missed being annoyed by Jonathan and Jay’s antics. Jay would try his best to cheer him out of this spiraling train of thought, and Jon would know plenty of things to distract him with.

If he was ever responsible for their deaths, Bayley considered he’d quit on the spot. He’d probably become deeply depressed until he really did just curl up and die, however fast it came after. All his life’s work to save humanity, and he’d killed the only people who trusted him most to do so.

But the truly terrible part of him hidden away deep in his heart wondered that if someone was to die as a result of his work, perhaps even if he wasn’t working willingly with the Institute, that he'd simply wouldn’t care.

#doc bayley #father #shaun #silly art tag

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insomnihan · 4 years ago

Text

han’s Entire Thoughts and Feelings on Dreamcatcher’s “Boca”

youtube

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

there are no read mores here so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

ALRIGHT SO-

THE SONG HAD THE F UCKING NERVE THE AUDACITY THE GUMPTION AND THE GALL TO BE AS BOMB AS IT IS literally the moment i heard that rain and thunder i was f cukity F CIKED the way that they just know how to work with more gentle verse parts and theN PUNCH YOU IN THE FACE WITH THE CHORUS ITSELF SPEAKING OF THE CHORUS ITS F UCKING CRAZY??????????? THAT????????? GODDAMN GUITAR????????????? OWNS MY ASS??????????? OH MY F UCKING GOD JUST THE WAY GAHYEON STARTS IT OFF TO EASE US INTO IT HMMMMMMMMMM- THE ABSOLUTE POWER IN DAMIS FIRST RAP........... SHES SICK™ FOR THAT!!!!!! ‘HOLD UP’ YEAH HOLD UP I WASNT READY DAMN IT!!!!!!!!!!!! THEN DAMIS AND GAHYEONS RAPS IN THE SECOND VERSE YOU CANT EXPECT TO BE OKAY AFTER THAT™ ARE YOU SERIOUS- just all of their voices............ the way theyre just so powerful and emotional and you can tell............. siyeon pls your high notes holy f uck-

WHAT IM SAYING Is this song was such a good follow up to scream like F UCK i literally ask after every comeback ‘will they top this’ and tHEN THEY DO

i was so boo boo the fool like i really thought since diamond and breaking out fell into the same genre that it wouldnt be intense like This im 🤡

SO I WILL BE USING THE COMEBACK SHOWCASE TO TALK ABOUT THE DANCE BC OH MY GOD- so they all said that this song was their hardest dance yet................. queens of dance I F UCJUNG SWEAR

FIRST OF ALL THE BEGINNING POSE IS EVERYTHING™

THE PART AFTER THAT WITH DAMI PULLING YOOHYEON INTO HER SINGING PART....................... i just like it a lot

HONESTLY DAMIS ENTIRE PART

YOOHYEONS PART BEFORE THE CHORUS

THE ACTUAL CHORUS

both the upside down triangle hand symbol AND then for ‘boca’ where they make their hands like a mouth................... Iconic™

GAHYEON WITH THE FLAGS?????????? HELLO????????

and then dami................................. i-

the flags............... sua and jiu and yoohyeon.......... Thinking A Lot™

this part with jius bridge lives rent free in my brain

sua sitting on the dancers shoulders and singing the most hard hitting lyrics in the song thats it thats the bullet point

just................. the WHOLE ENDING

shouldve really just put the entire damn video here but i already wrote it out

THEY NEVER PLAY AROUND WITH THE VISUALS EVER!!!!!!!!!!! THE COLORS ARE ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS AND VIBRANT THE SETS ARE SO DREAMLIKE???????? I WISH I CAN FULLY EXPLAIN IT BUT ALL I COULD REALLY DO IS DESCRIBE THEM AS THEY ARE- THE PINK SET THEY DANCE IN IS SO COOL TO ME THE PLACE WITH THE TREES AND GRASS AND THEYRE DANCING IN THE F UCKING WATER AND WHERE GAHYEON HURTED US WITH HER RAP AND WHEN THEYRE ALL JUST STANDING AROUND LIKE BEAUTIFUL PRINCESSES AND WHERE YOOHYEON SAT AMAZINGLY- AND WHERE SIYEON STANDS WITH ALL THE BUSTS WITH TAPE OVER THEIR MOUTHS THE SYMBOLISM™!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THEN WHEREVER DAMI WAS IN GENERAL.................. [REST]

TIME TO SHOW WHICH SCENES I LIKED

youtube

THE WHOLE F UCKING THING MOVING ON-

T H E M

okay................................ everyone who follows me KNOWS that im just so whipped for all these women if i was a Brave Bicth™ id tell them they were all beautiful every day to their faces but if this is your first time seeing this CHAOTIC AS F UCK series of posts then-

LOOKATTHEMBEINGBEAUTIFULANDETHEREALPRINCESSESINONESCENETHENBADBITCHESINTHENEXTAREYOUKIDDINGMEICANTBELIEVETHEYREALLYOUTHERELOOKINGLIKETHIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

JIU

BELLE????????????? BELLE IS THAT YOU???????????? why does Miss JiU over here just got to be one of the most beautiful women in the GODDAMN UNIVERSE I CANT STAND THIS LOOK AT THIS PICTURE!!!!!! i wont lie to yall but it was gonna be this one or the one kinda at the beginning where shes wearing red..................... and....................... her neck- THE RED IS FIRE BY THE WAY AND THE SAME OUTFIT BUT IN LIKE R.o.S.E BLUE WITH THE CHAIN STEP ON ME- and the black one that we dont really see a lot of.................. the sheer of it............ bicth-

SUA

yes it was absolutely necessary for me to use this shot

OFC MY BICTH ASS NEARLY FELL OFF HIS F CUKING BED WHEN SHE SHOWED UP IN THE TEASER JUST COVERED IN WATER I SWEAR I COULDNT BREATHE FOR LIKE TEN MINUTES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! first of all the red and blue ones just one sleeve and those shorts and all those belts I DUNNO JUST THIS WOMAN AND CROP TOPS OKAY IM LOSING IT IM THIS 👌 CLOSE and then the white dress i cant stand her i really cant-

SIYEON

HOOOOOOOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO MISS LEE SIYEON OUT FOR MY NECK I SEE- i just wanna point out first that i love her love for pants like the rest of the outfits are gonna be worn for performing and they all have those baggy pants she loves so much pls shes everything im 🥺🥺🥺 tho the braids and the high ponytail without and yknow what WITH BANGS TOO im........................ i cant stop staring at this picture-

YOOHYEON

SHE IS NOW A LARGE AND SCARY DOG-

this specific hairstyle in the screenshot........ the braids the safety pins with the brown and pink or whatever it was like three different colors just the Serve™ she is serving in that with that outfit and the back of her skirt is long than the front im weak in the knees for you maam- oH THAT F UCKING RED ONE GRABBED MY NECK NAILS INTO MY SKIN AND ALL AND ENDED ME HONESTLY and that chain necklace.......................... keeping words to myself-

DAMI

SHES SO HOT AND FOR WHAT my god this blue hair she is WORKING IT- i had such a difficult time even finding a good screenshot of her and i know the moment i just decided with this one that i was just gonna keep getting distracted by it and i am rn as i type this GOD- the all black outfit she shows up in the very first time in the mv..................... [REST] the blue one with the thing on her thigh with the low ponytail................. [REST x2] herself....................... [D*AD]

GAHYEON

POPULAR OPINION: THIS IS HER ERA

THE MOMENT SHE JUST SHOWS UP RIGHT AT THE START SHE GRABBED US BY THE NECKS AND LET US KNOW SHES KILLING IT LIKE THIS this pink hair is doing her like two million favors like the space bun look right here???????? STUNNING just left long and straight??????? BEAUTIFUL the fit with the beige(?) sweater and skirt and that black outfit during her rap verse the pink dress iM D*AD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BONUS TIME: B-SIDE TRACKS (short thoughts and parts i liked)

Intro

A SLAPPER WE LOVE TO HEAR IT-

Break the Wall

oH BICTH the way this song took me back to my edgy middle school years listening to music like this MY GOD THEIR VOICES SOUND SO COOL ON IT like they were using megaphones and s hit THE CHORUS IS SO GOOD IM GOING FERAL™ I FEEL LIKE I CAN CONQUER THE WORLD WITH THIS-

Can’t Get You Out Of My Mind

ALL ENGLISH SONG BICTH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! its all about the yearning its so catchy and good i was literally already singing it randomly right after the highlight medley like honestly this and break the wall are so nostalgic highkey- their pronunciation is so so SO good!!!!

Dear

JIUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 😭😭😭 IM SO SOFT DONT LOOK AT ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! she wrote this herself and its just so full of love and thankfulness and gratefulness and appreciation for insomnias SOMEONE PROTECT HER- and then the rest of the members singing so gently and beautifully there are real tears in my eyes...............

LIKE im just gonna say it every comeback now i guess THEY👏NEVER👏DISAPPOINT👏EVER👏 i love being an insomnia so much yknow??? love them as people love them for always providing content and always showing that they love and appreciate their fans and how they always make me laugh and feel better and most importantly of all is THEIR MUSIC not implying anything with capitalizing and bolding that............... unless they are so incredibly talented and show how versatile they are in so many different genres AND THEYVE GROWN SO MUCH IN POPULARITY THIS YEAR AND ARE NOW BEATING THEIR OWN GOALS im so happy to be their fan 😊😊😊 this just became a paragraph of me and how much i love them ANYWAY-

IN CONCLUSION: WHERE IS THE LOVE?????????? ITS BEING DIRECTED AT THIS ALBUM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and AS TRADITION:

#time to listen to this and the album until i cant hear s hit no more <3<3<3 #all i wanna do is watch the video but i must get Thoughts™ out #dreamcatcher #han.txt #han's mv afterthoughts

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one-spidey-boii · 5 years ago

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BUMMER SUMMER || peter parker; ch ten

read ch nine here

masterlist

an; i’ve tried to post this chapter three different times and have had to make a new post all three times, im losing my mind. anyways thank you for your support, have a good day and enjoy :)))

*italics at beginning indicate itty bitty flashback*

warnings; mentions of battle wounds (i.e. blood/scars/etc), future smut, mature language, fluff, angst, both peter and oc are 18+!!

word count; 3.1k+

peter's pov

long story short- i couldn't throw the knife. or any knife for that matter. i either let go too soon or too late, my footing was wrong, my hips were angled incorrectly, blah blah blah. i knew edie was trying to make me feel better by blaming all those other factors, but it was just me. i'm not made for the knife throwing trade and that's okay.

what wasn't okay was that when i threw my first knife—the obsidian one—i missed horribly and ended up shattering the tip.

edie and i both run for the fallen object and she got to it first, cradling the shards in her hands. i look at her with innocent eyes and a coy smile, "im sorry?" i try to play if off, despite how horrible i felt in the pit of my stomach.

she wipes away her irritated grimace, "nobody's perfect?" she says, more of a question, still a little irked at the broken blade.

i spent the rest of the early morning throwing only steel, but still- i missed every time.

now late afternoon, edie and i are laying on the couch with our heads in the middle and our feet dangling over each armrest. we've been taking turns showing each other videos we saved on instagram, laughing immaturely at the childish jokes. her wavy hair falls into my eyes every time she adjusts her head on the cushion, which is a lot, but i don't mind. i enjoy the feeling of her next to me.

"here, here. look at this one!" she chirps as she pulled up a photo of a chubby cat trying to jump up onto the bed. he misses every time. "it kind of reminds of someone i know..." she trails off, poking fun at my failed attempts earlier in the day. i reach my hand over and flick her nose and my eyes light up at the way she scrunches it up.

"oh god, don't do that peter!" she squeaks out before she sits up and grabs desperately for a tissue to sneeze into. i roll my head back, stretching my neck all the way and look at her upside down, laughing at her reaction to the nose boop i gave her. she turns around after wiping her nose and tosses the used tissue at me. it's my turn to squeak as i shuffle away from the balled up paper.

"yuck! girl cooties!" i tease at her and kick the tissue off the couch with my foot. edie rolls her eyes at me as she bends down to grab it and throw it away in the nearby waste bin. when she straightens back up, a wild spark twinkles in her eyes. i perk a brow up at her.

"whaaaat do you think you're doing?" i ask, eyeing her change in behavior. without a word she pounces on top of me, pinning me down to the couch. i squirm beneath her strong hold, but she has my hands trapped against my legs with her thighs that rest on either side of my hips. i'm shocked at how quickly she was able to pin me down, her movements so sharp and unpredictable.

"cooties, huh?" she whispers and lowers her face to level with mine. i hum a 'mhm' and swallow thickly at her close proximity. we haven't been in this position since we shared our first kiss, both of us choosing to just tease each other since then to see who would break first.

her eyelids drop low and she looks at me through her thick lashes. they're so dark against her cool skin. i find myself wanting to run my fingers around the edges of them, to feel them flutter at my touch. but no, i'm not the one in charge here.

edie brings her hand up to my lips, tracing over them with two delicate fingers. she tugs on my bottom lip gently, her eyes never leaving mine. we stay there for a moment, our breaths mingling and matching as we fall into pace with each other. i tense up as her fingers slide from my lips to my check, and down to my jaw to gently caress it. she leans in impossibly closer.

"do you wanna kiss?" she whispers, her plump lips barely grazing mine. almost drawn by a magnetic force, my hips lift to get some kind of relief from the contact, or lack thereof. she tightens her steel grip on my limbs and connects our hips roughly, challenging my actions with a face that lets me know she isn't afraid to play along with my games.

i respond lamely, with a stuttering, "o-okay." edie smiles, i shiver.

"close your eyes." she demands.

of course if i do it without question, pushing away the thoughts of just how smitten i am with her.

i can feel her lips graze mine, so so soft it makes me sick. i move to close the gap, but every time i try she pulls away, avoiding the embrace with a cheeky chuckle. i sigh, but kept my eyes closed, wanting to prove that i'll do what she asks for her lips on mine. her lips do come, but they leave small pecks everywhere but on my own. my throat lets out a sound that makes my cheeks flush and her teasing gets worse.

the thumping of my heart in my ears clouds my senses until finally, my lips are met with something sweet. it's sickening and soft and...chocolatey?

edie rises up and out of my lap in a second, her body erupting into fits of laughter as she watches me open my eyes and chew the chocolate kiss with a shocked and bemused smile. she falls onto the couch next me, keeping her distance as i swallow in disbelief.

"hmm, very clever." i mumble. i will admit the chocolate is a nice touch, but i want what i was promised.

both of my hands grip each of her wrists, too fast for her to slip out of reach. i join both of her hands in one of my own as i pull her to me and push her back into the couch cushions. she sinks into them with a small 'o' across her lips and her eyes are wide and curious. i lean down and capture her lips in mine, the kiss is firm, but filled with warm emotions that float between us.

i keep her wrists together and stretch them above her head. edie's back arches into my chest and i can't help but smirk into the kiss. my mind races through all the moments i wished i could have pulled her to me and shut her up with my lips. now that we're here in this miracle of a moment, my brain can't wrap around how it came to be.

i bite her bottom lip and tug ever so slightly, but it's enough to pull a soft moan out of her. edie begins to tug against the restraints of my hand. i simply tighten my grip and move to kiss more of her body, trailing down her neck and collar bones. she shudders.

"peter, please. i wanna touch you." she breathily whispers in my ear, her lips barely grazing the shell.

i pull away at her words and look at her face. it's red and flustered, her eyes are half-lidded and filled with lust. she showcases a small, lazy smile across her swollen lips. i raise my other hand that had been resting on her hip up to her lips. they're soft and wet and soon my pointer and middle finger slip in between them.

she takes them gracefully, her tongue swirling around my fingers as she sucks on them with a grin. i scoff in disbelief at the girl beneath me. just days ago i was afraid to touch her, to see her, and now she's here doing things with me—to me—that i could only ever indulge in my head. and now all i can think is mine. she is mine.

as i slide my finger out from her mouth, i rest my hand on her cheek and pull in close once more, "you're amazing." i whisper against her lips. she just smiles.

with my moment of weakness, she turns the tables on me in the blink of an eye. edie releases her hands from my grip and rolls me off of her and onto the floor. i groan at the sudden impact and hold my hands over my stomach in shock. once again she rests on top of me.

"how is it that we always end up here?" i laugh, gesturing to our current position. she shrugs.

"don't you like me here?" she teases.

BZZZT BZZZT BZZZT BZZZT

both of our hearts jump out of our chests at the sudden interruption, but instead of scrambling away, edie sits herself down completely in my lap and reaches for her phone that's face up on the arm of the couch. she swipes a button and holds it up to her ear.

"mr. stark? hello, sir." she chirps, seeming to have regained her composure without a hitch. i, however, am beginning to squirm underneath her. i mean, come on, she's sitting on my crotch.

i move to sit up, but edie places a firm hand on my chest and slams me back down on the floor with a small thud.

"hmm? oh yeah, peter's around." my eyes bug out of my skull and i shake my head furiously. there's no way i'm talking to mr. stark while she's on top of me. that man knows practically everything, and if he doesn't know something now, he'll find out soon enough. i squirm underneath her and try to shimmy away, but she stays put and won't let me move.

"sure, you can talk to him. i just gotta go find him." she's talking as if nothing bad could happen right now, while as my mind was flying through all the ways mr. stark could kill me and no one would ever know. suddenly, the hand on my chest slips down to the waistline of my sweatpants. i give edie a serious glare, pleading her not to go any farther. i'm already painfully hard from our activities a few minutes ago, and surely this teasing isn't helping my case.

"peter? where are you?" edie holds the phone away from her face and calls out into the otherwise empty room. as she does this, her hand finally comes to rest fully on my crotch and she begins palming me through my pants, "oh, there you are." she says into the phone sweetly, while i stifle a groan.

"here he is, mr. stark." edie brings the phone to my ear and holds it there, halting my silent pleas for her to stop.

"peter? are you there? why can’t you answer your own damn phone? i gave it to you for that specific reas-" tony's voice booms through the phone and my body stiffens. edie is still touching me and i feel like i'm on fire.

"m-mr. stark, hi! yep, it's me peter." i choke into the phone. edie lets go of the phone and i adjust myself to hold it between my ear and my shoulder. i move my hands to grab her hips hard, hoping she'll pick up on my warning.

"yes. yes, i got that. anyway, peter, i'm gonna ask you something and you need to be honest with me. is edie okay? i mean, does she seem like she's getting better?" his concerned voice only distracts me for a second before edie begins lowering herself down my body so that she rests between my legs.

"o-oh god. edie!" i says her name through clenched teeth. she stares back at me with doe eyes and lifts my shirt up to expose my stomach. her hands dance down my sides and she only breaks eye contact to leave a soft kiss right above my pant line.

"yes, peter. edie. what the hell is going on with you?" tony asks, suspicion lacing through his words.

my hands are now in edie's hair, grabbing fistfuls of it as she slips her fingers underneath the waistband. my breath hitches in my throat at her actions. why the hell is she choosing now of all times to do something like this?

"edie is good. she's really good. really really good." i mumble, no longer aware of how my words were meddling together. edie slides my sweatpants down my hips and i naturally lift them up to assist her in taking the article of clothing off. god i'm so hard. it's beginning to get uncomfortable.

"okay...good. can i talk to her now?" mr. stark's tone is unnerving. i know he knows something is up.

i can feel edie's fingers hook under the band of my boxers. at that moment, everything went out the window as i let out the most awful, embarrassingly obvious moan. mr. stark clears his throat on the other end of the phone and i want to throw the device across the room.

edie pulls away from me and has the evilest smile on her lips, confirming that she had done this to get that particular reaction out of me. i look at her in defeat, feeling silly and exposed. she crawls back up my body and kisses the corner of my lips, lingering there just enough to make me want more, and she takes the phone from my ear.

"hey, mr. stark, i'm back." she speaks into the phone with ease and shoots up onto her feet, letting them take her to another room.

i stare at the ceiling, wide-eyed and almost in pain from my situation downstairs. i blindly reach for a pillow on the couch and bring it to my face so i can scream as loud as i can into nothingness.

my suit feels tighter than usual, more constricting as i crouch on a random roof top in the middle of new york city. i snuck out of the compound shortly after edie left to finish her phone call and i got to it straight away.

from what i remember of edie's story from that night, she was attacked by two people- a man and a woman. my mind reels at just how many people live in new york (8.623 million and climbing). my only hope for finding these people is to patrol, all night, for as long as possible.

i haven't slept since yesterday. i was too busy throwing knives and oogling edie to even get a lick of sleep in. not that i mind, but i know i can only stay out so long tonight before i become drunk from lack of rest. i can already feel it coming, the sensation of my brain swishing around my head and settling at the bottom.

i snap myself out of it, determined to go through as much of the city as i can. i thought i had them a few buildings back, but it turned out to be an older couple making out in the alleyway, yikes. i got outta their way real quick.

i shoot a web at the next building and hoist myself over the edge, letting my weight swing me through the air before shooting another one with my other arm. i love swinging. its something only i can do, and i take pride in that. my head clears and my senses get kicked up to eleven, allowing me to do my job the way it should be done.

i fling myself through the streets, stretching my arms high above my head to aim at anything and everything. i think back to when i was first teaching myself to swing, the constant misses and face-plants make me scrunch my face up. gosh, how embarrassing. nevertheless, i smile at how far i've come.

i come to a stop on another random building a few blocks from where i started. the air bites at my skin, making goosebumps appear underneath my suit. i rub my hands up and down my arms and take in my new surroundings. the building i landed on is shorter than those around it, i'm no more than ten stories up.

my ears start to prickle at a nearby noise and i turn my attention to the sound. down in the alleyway, a group of people stand in a circle around something on the ground. i lean forward to try and get a closer look, but i'm too far away to make anything out completely. i hop over the edge of the building and begin to crawl down the side of it until i can see clearly.

i gasp when i see what they're standing around. a small grey kitten mewls from the center of the circle. it's body is unbelievably tiny and frail and it's just staring at them. the people begin to talk to each other, starting to argue and raise their voices. i pick up a few words like 'kick' and 'burn' and 'eat' and my stomach drops.

without a second thought, i'm letting go of the wall and dropping down in the middle of the circle, careful not to step on the small creature between my feet. i look around at the people and notice how disheveled they are. none of their clothes match and they all have ratty hair and bad breath. i puff out my chest.

"i have to ask you lot to leave the area immediately," i pause and take in their bored expressions, "now...scram!" i finish and cringe to myself when they don't move. one man steps forward and offers a grimy smile, he doesn't have very many teeth left.

"who gave you the right?" the man sputters out and points a crooked finger in my face.

"look guys i don't know what you were planning to do here, but it's over now." i say and lean down to gently pick up the kitten. it meows and nuzzles it's head into the crook of my arm. the group of people begin to back away and scurry off whilst leaving some choice words behind for me. i ignore them and use my free arm to shoot a web and land back on top of the building. i lower my chin to get a good look at the tiny kitten.

"hey there, little one. what am i gonna do with you now?" i whisper and chuckle when she stretches her limbs and yawns. she peers back up at me with big eyes that look like two perfectly polished gold coins, "i guess there's really only one option," i coo at her and scratch her softly under her chin, "i hope edie likes cats."

|| taglist; @my-patronus-is-mabel-pines @whycantileaveyou @lovewolfspirit @kitykatnumber @franksholland @goddamnit5sos @thehugslut @fandom-phaser

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aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaoldretired · 5 years ago

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some p!g-drv3 theories (spoilers obvi)

First of all I think people demonize the pg versions wayyy too much because its a good way to be le sexy in like fanfictions. And i get it, villains are hot or whatever. and also hs is a horny age to be. But even the edgiest and horniest of teens aren’t like. that sexual/monstrous. its kind of insane the portrayals people are placing

maybe this could also be like me being older bc when i was early hs i was like yea its fair to place these super mature portrayals on a 18-22 year old they are like adults but young and now im that age and im like woah there pardner. might be an age/maturity thing.

also like its normal for people to relate to and portray characters their same age in a similar fashion, but when adults write more sexual content about the dg kids i get hella fucking sus

idk where i was going with that first comment i guess its like a preface and in the end i think its important when characters especially teenage characters are morally grey not because they’re mature and dark/brooding but because they are still young and learning. fuck im older than like most of them, but im still young and learning. its good to be in turmoil and confused, especially the drv3 cast. they are more confused than anything.

which i think is a reason why people would join dr because if you are completely loss and in turmoil, it is appealing to be given a purpose in life and amazing talents/abilities. despite the morals of danganronpa, it is a simple reality to be told who you are and what to do

OK ONTO HEADCANONS (not doing all bc i dont have thoughts about all)

first of all i understand changing stories but i think, deep down, you can’t change fundamental personalities/values. so while the backstories might be different i think, in the end, a baseline is always the same

SHUICHI being a Bad Boy is like canon obviously but i dont think he’s as manipulative as people make him out to be. i think he falls in the more the bully role that like. mae borowski or tf2′s scout filled before they grew up. rough background, bad anger issues, lots of emotional turmoil, and the only way he knows how to deal with shit is by committing crimes and beating the shit out of people. and, similar to those characters, drv3 represents an older, more emotionally sober yet equally confused version of himself. the urges are still there as foreshadowed in the dialogue. i think he struggles with guilt, mostly survivors, but there is still a lasting impact of guilt of what he did in his past, even if he can’t remember.

KOKICHI is a child. a piece of shit motherfucker child but a child. I really do think he’s like one of the youngest people in the cast. he reminds me a lot of when my brother doesn’t take his adhd medicine and takes jokes way too far and does mean and cruel things because he thinks its funny and that its just a fun joke, but is hurting people. he desperately wants approval, which is why his leader role is so interesting because in the dr narrative he has the approval he craves and so he is satisfied. still, he does try to impress characters like rantaro and values his opinions a lot, even developing a brotherly relationship in the time they knew each other. this being said, its established kokichi was bullied before, but i dont think he’s like. the wimp people make him out to be. i think he’s more of like the class clown who desperately uses humor to make people like him, and ends up resorting to be the butt of most of his jokes. you don’t just develop a good sense of humor out of a brainwash, and that’s not something you can program in. i think that was a remnant of before, and he’s so good at bullying people and coming up with roasts - i just think that in p!g the roasts were about him.

KAEDE is baby but her p!g personality seriously reminds me of any ~quirky/edgy~ girl in a teen coming of age story who tries to be edgy and cool and act like she doesn’t care but deep down, she really does. if she didn’t have an empathetic personality, she wouldn’t want to end the game. i also think she has that self-identifying QuIrKy personality because its like she lives in her own narrative, practically announcing this story is about her and she is the protagonist. i know i used to self narrate like that and distinguish how i was different when i was like. 15-16. she has a tumblr.

I really like the theory where KAITO is a make-a-wish kid who was better when he was younger but relapses later in teens. he never used his wish before, so he decides to use it now to be on danganronpa and become the hero he always wanted to be. i also think he might have joined as a way to raise awareness about adolescent healthcare. definitely the type who puts on a “heroic” character to make everyone else feel better about the fact he is literally dying of a terminal illness, and keeps that act up till the end.

i think KOREKIYO is still a serial killer. i think honestly a reason why he mightve auditioned for danganronpa is because he is a serial killer. maybe his sister found out and he felt so much shame that’s why he auditioned. he probably mentioned why in his interview because duh, tell them im a serial killer and then only reason im coming clean is my sister found out and im ashamed, that is like a guarantee to get on the show. i LOVE the theory that his sister is still alive, however, and has to watch her brother go insane because they wrote her into the story as the villain. because technically, she brought on this guilt, and is the reason why he auditioned - as a way to cause despair, twist it around so she’s the one to blame for his insanity. also, because its pretty accepted DR members become celebrities, kork’s sister is totally bombarded with paparazzi and is demonized in the media. she might end up writing a tell-all memoir about kork’s actual childhood and personality. quiet kid, thoughtful, interested in anthropology, she never thought he’d hurt a fly. watching her brother go insane probably destroyed her.

I also think, timeline wise, kork is probably one of the oldest members along with rantaro. tbh i think kork actually graduated hs and went on a gap year doing the whole “hitchhike around the world to discover myself thing” which is where he began killing people. he was getting ready to go to college when his sister found out about what he did. this is when he decided to go on danganronpa instead of university. this would help explain why he knows so much about other cultures/travel/been so many places with so many memories/killed/is knowledgable on a level most other students are not. this would place him at like, 20-21, where everyone else is like 15-18.

ok so there’s two p!g RANTARO, p!g before 53 and p!p!g before 52. i’d like to establish now i think rantaro is the oldest of the characters, seeing as though he was already pretty old to begin with in 52, it takes time between television seasons, and he was in another game. so im placing him like 21-23, similar to yasuhiro in d1 being so much older than everyone else. i do think, in all iterations, rantaro was pretty much raising his sisters, though i don’t think he had twelve like the story (i think that’s an exaggeration, his sisters mean a lot to him, lets make him have a TON and then lose them all and feel GUILTY) rantaro joined the first game, partially to get money for his family and hopefully establish them as celebrities and let them have a comfy lifestyle, even if he doesn’t live...and also to finally ahve some sort of experience without his siblings tagging along. if he’s been raising his sisters all his life, he’s never had like something that’s JUST his. that’s his adventure. 52 is his ULTIMATE adventure. ahaha. mostly for money, kind of dreading it, still a tiny bit excited

ok p!g rantaro between 52 and 53 probably came back broken. he did the signings and appearances, but mostly wanted to spend time with his family and make sure they were set up. i think he knew the whole like few months between seasons he had to go on another show, but he did’t tell his sisters. his family found out when they saw a billboard with his face plastered on it hyping up the return of a fan favorite. yikes!

ok i get it a lot of people hate HIMIKO but i think she’s not nearly as similar as other “useless” characters in other games. its like, pretty clear she’s depressed, and the only thing she’s holding onto with dear life is magic. lack of hygiene, lack of personal care, constantly tired, social interaction exhausts - she has depression, but she’s not an UWU depressed character. so people find her depressive traits (which are some of the most realistic portrayals of mental health in the series) SUPER annoygin. she joined dr because she was completely lost and needed some sort of direction in her life, even if she’ll die for it. the thing is, even with direction, her mental state didn’t change because she wasn’t getting legitimate help. it’s like that one SNL skit that’s like. same sad you from before but in a new place. i also think she knows the magic is not real, because how could she not. i think she’s so adamant that it IS real, less as a way to convince others, and more of a way to convince herself. it’s like really super cruel that team danganronpa took a girl who is desperate for meaning and gave her literally a meaningless, fake talent.

i also kin himiko and find her a comfort character because i feel seen by her, replacing her useless talent of magic with mine of like shitty film making and comedy. i am seen.

related i don’t think she’s nearly as ugly as everyone says she is, i think she’s probably just depressed and takes absolutely no care of her hygiene and sleep and looks like sick and greasy all the time. same queen.

honest to god i think RYOMA’s backstory, tennis and all, is like 100% real and he’s the only one who keeps all of his memories except for the fact this is a tv show. i think he rolled up, a hot fucking mess, and the danganronpa team were like damn. we cannot improve upon this.

#ryoma hoshi #himiko yumeno #rantaro amami #korekiyo shinguji #kaito momota #kaede akamatsu #shuichi saihara #kokichi ouma #drv3 #killing harmony #pg dr #pre!game danganronpa #danganronpa #theories #danganronpa spoilers

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