#i've been so bored ALL DAY
Text
being an eng teacher is rough in the sense that since everyone Has to take eng, all class disruption things happen in eng classes. school photos? eng. spending the entire class period talking about scheduling for next semester? eng. aka, we're doing that next week and it's going to throw things off soooooo muchhhhhh
the tenth graders are doing it thursday and i have four tenth grade classes, but then the freshmen are doing it friday and i have two freshmen classes. and the thing is that we do the same stuff in ninth and tenth grade but like we do it on a rotation, so like i'll have to figure out how to change things up for each grade to make it fit and then we had a snow day today which we're making up in feb so there wasn't elearning and we also had tis past monday off, so now everything is thrown off </3
anyways it'll be fine bc i'll have some periods off to just chill like i'll be down there with them for the meetings but i could prolly bring a book i'm just complaining lol
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
I wanna have a party. It's Friday night, I'm off work soon, I'll be at home alone probably just finishing up this Attic Club smut...
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
i don't think I've ever enjoyed a birthday party with friends as much as today i am genuinely getting a bit teary eyed
#initially i wasn't planning to do anything but then i thought what the hell what if we go out to drink something#except it was all very up in the air so a good deal of folks couldn't come (which is fine that one's on me)#but the two who COULD make it are genuinely some of the funniest motherfuckers I've ever met and one of them brought his gf along#and we hit it off IMMEDIATELY and THEN we ran into another pal I hadn't seen in a while and hadn't had the chance to invite in person#who also joined in after he finished hanging out with other people and they got me a present????? 😭#i haven't had a birthday with friends in fucking . 3 years between covid and everyone i knew moving away#I'm so happy i think my heart is going to explode#which ik. hey isn't that a very boring and simple hangout YES but also not to me baby i have been in a depression isolation all my teens#i started to genuinely enjoy my day to day life like. 4 months ago ever since starting uni#it feels like turning a new leaf yknow? like. i made it. i made it out. god i could cry#sorry I'm a little drunk
93 notes
·
View notes
Text
had to stop taking the new adhd medication but the good news is i can drink coffee and iced tea again
#it's the bright side to every time a medication has failed lol#gotta set up an appointment for alt treatments#pretty sure my insurance doesn't cover counseling and i can't afford it... which is why i've been going for meds#it's one of those things where if i have enough going on in my life i can manage my adhd relatively ok but i'm severely under-stimulated rn#i have too much time on my hands so there's nothing for me to force me to do the things that aren't as interesting as say. fucking around#so the variety of stuff i do keeps narrowing and it just gets worse#so all i really need is a kickstart#which!!!!! if stimulants weren't so hard on my body! would be great!!!#i need structure in my life but setting up structure myself is boring#like yoga is something i LOVE doing but it's still hard to get on the mat even though i used to be able to do it every day#i think that more yoga would definitely help but i don't know how to get myself there#rum.txt
19 notes
·
View notes
Text
#svsss#scum villains self saving system#shang qinghua#how I be feeling these days ahdnfjgkg#I keep stressing about life in general and its seriously bumming me out hajdjg#how nice it would be to not exist#everyday I wake up and do the same things I hate#time hasn't felt real in years and it goes way before covid times#I haven't felt real in most of those years either#Look I'm lucky I'm not like depressed or whatever but frankly this derealization shit is seriously startin to get a little worrying at times#tbf I only really notice it recently so maybe its just a bias#I've been chugging along this way for years all thats changed is my perception of it#but at the same time I really want to do more too#I get I'm a very boring and unreliable person#and I know I just said its my perception of it but like I do genuinely think my social skills my general living just like me mentally ig#I'm kinda deteriorating in my stagnation ig? artistically too but more worrying in my life idbfjg#priorities sorry anyways I also think I do have adhd or something and that rejection thing dhfjgjg I really can't start things anymore#idk I really just feel so clueless in most things now and I'm too scared or too confused or both to start fixing things#like how do I even fix things? what do I even search for in this kind of thing?#Idk I'm just gonna go sleep ig god I'm so tired of everything#I haven't been able to draw I've really lost passion for a lot of things again and everything irritates me#I can't stand my phone sometimes but it's kinda the only thing getting me through it all ha#ngl I wish I were depressed sometimes if only so I'd actually have the balls to do smth but Ik that's just the Metnally Ail part speaking so#chug chug going along#I also have to make wushi before I die. haha#god my life is so empty#what am I even doing#I'm really so tired why can't my life end here already? modern lifespans are too long how am I supposed to keep going on like this?#so pointless and vapid and its just me ? why did it have to be me that was born? couldn't someone else have been here I hate it here so much#I strive for nothing but I have such a long life and so many people to disappoint haha maybe I should go outside more
89 notes
·
View notes
Text
all are started, not sure when each will be complete but i'm updating my works in this order
• bee 11
• necessities 5
• glass heart 2 tied in with an anon request
• another request lol
see hash tags for unhinged explanations cus i've literally been so inactive i miss yall
#i know i've been MIA but i have a lot going on lol#totaled my car & this is not the first time so my insurance is like 800 a month now plus my 500 car payment plus rent but my brothers#is picking up like all the other bills lately and still paying his half of the rent#bless his heart fr#i'm such a mess and i'm managing money horribly im a shopaholic weedaholic alcoholic#lmfaoo so ive been working more with less time to write#bare with me i love you all don't get bored and leave me HAHAHA#chipping away day by day
17 notes
·
View notes
Text
can i just be emotional on main for a sec & thank y'all again for sticking with me & supporting my weird little brand here these last few months while i've been like. worse than ever about getting any writing done? just like. hhh. all of u putting up with my shitposts & liking the hcs and whatever else i shove out onto the dash while i'm struggling with energy for replies, and everyone who still wants to plot & develop our dynamics despite me being the WORST at keeping up with dms (& being somehow even worse at being the one to actually initiate dms), and!!!! those of you who continue to indulge me by sending me asks despite the fact that you've been waiting 5 years for me to reply to our thread!!! i appreciate u guys sm, like i don't think u actually understand just how much. i mean this so sincerely: thank you
#writing & chatting with u guys and just shoving our characters together is one of the few things in my life rn that still brings me joy#so it's been really infuriating to be having such a hard time doing it#and that fear of people losing interest or getting bored or annoyed w me because of that struggle doesn't exactly help#it's something i'm working to overcome bc i KNOW those of u who matter are the ones who'll continue to stick around but ajshkfds#idk i've been wading through the existential dread these last few days trying to avoid succumbing to it again & dumb little rp things are#part of what help keep me going. so just like. yeah. thank u sm ;A;#a special shoutout to my newer mutuals too for joining me at a weird time & still sticking around to engage w me despite my slowness#i'm v excited about all of the new dynamics we're building or will eventually build ;u; ♡#anyway. i'll shut up now. sorry for all the blabbering i'm just emotional today and wanted to express my gratitude to all of u ♡♡♡#wanna try to write at some point today but idk if it'll happen or not. we'll see ;~;#━━ ˟ ⊰ ✰ ooc ⋮ don't @ me.
15 notes
·
View notes
Text
Hello praying people, I'm not doing well and would really appreciate your prayers right now <3
#long very boring and unnecessarily detailed tag monologue incoming‚ feel free to skip:#this is going to sound like a silly thing to be hitting rock bottom over#but i’m fairly certain i have a semi-rare skin condition known as sensitive skin syndrome#which is basically where skin gets progressively more sensitive#until it won’t tolerate the topical application of anything at all without getting irritated#usually it happens to people on the skin of their face and i have it there but i also specifically have it on my lips#(which apparently is extremely not normal; i found a dermatologist’s case study from like 2019 of one woman who had it on her lips#and according to this case study there were no other cases of people having it on their lips#in all the dermatological literature he had read)#i can’t follow the protocol which all the journal articles i’ve been able to find say is helpful for the rest of the face which is basicall#leave the area the heck alone for at least a year#because if i don’t apply anything to my lips for more than two or three days they will get so dry they crack and bleed#so it’s looking like one way or another i may be having to deal with dry burning irritated lips for the rest of my life#and i’m not dealing with the thought of that very well#i’ve already suffered so much anguish from extreme sensitivity on the rest of my face#and not being able to take proper care of the skin there#and this is just too much for me#i know God is allowing this for a reason but it’s filling me with so much frustration and panic and despair that i don’t know how to go on#but i must and i will#this isn’t a serious or a life-threatening condition but it’s looking like a pretty hopeless one and it’s hurting me badly#and i would appreciate prayers that it would just be healed or that i would know what to do#i think i will try going to my dermatologist but somehow i doubt she's even heard of sensitive skin syndrome#on a COMPLETELY unrelated note i'm just about to get my period and also for two days i've ''eaten'' nothing but vegetable smoothies#and those in pretty small amounts because they're disgusting#(do a detox my hormonal health doctor said)#(it'll be fun she said)#ok if you read this far you're so brave braver than any u.s. marine etc.#thanks for reading ily <3
14 notes
·
View notes
Text
had to cancel something I was really looking forward to tomorrow so I thought maybe I'll go to the cinema instead to make myself feel better but there's not even anything good on shall I just off myself
#I'm just really sad.#and I'm so tired. i haven't slept well in weeks and it's really taking it's toll.#and i get triggered every fucking time I'm really getting bored of this#now i can't stop crying and i just feel stupid and it's all stupid and silly.#can i feel normal for even just a day I've had enough of this.#fuck I'm sad. damn it#not that i would even have been up for the cinema for part of the reasons i can't go tomorrow but whatever#whatever I'll just go see maxxxine when it comes out idc if it's not good
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
i present to you
dmcl texts from last night
#DimiClaude#one day i had no writing motivation and was bored but wanted dmcl so this happened#i've been sitting on these for months bc i was undecided if i should post them or not bc they are cursed LOL#my favorite is still the build a bear one with mitri lol#listen i tried not to make them all bottomitri it was difficult#next time i just might... if there is a next time
34 notes
·
View notes
Text
Okay, so I saw a thing mentioning how you could wag your butt as if you have a tail to kinda mimic the feeling and that's so smart!! For me, unless I'm super super super happy, wagging my butt is usually just a shaking-water-off-my-fur motion T-T Like, I've been feeling a tail behind me pretty consistently for years now, and when I'm really happy it wags and the feeling gets stronger, but wagging for me is an exclusively tail motion. There's no physical signs because just it's moving (and that's part of why wearing a tail feels weird for me, cause mine will be wagging but since I don't move my butt the tail doesn't move with me T-T ). But I might try that sometime to let my friends know my tail is wagging :3
#wagging your tail is such a good stim until no one can see and since you're no longer stimming visibly folks don't think you're happy :')#also I've been feeling pretty doggish lately!! Normally I don't talk about it all so I guess getting to tell folks is letting it out a bit#but I just wanna run around and bare my teeth and bark at something#I've kinda figured out that I'm prolly a working dog? or at least a mix of one#but I most certainly don't listen to instructions easily XD#I'm more of a “will work for fun but will stop as soon as someone tells me to” kind of dog#Like I'm so happy to finally have classes again I would've been soooooo bored without them#But catch me in a week or so feeling upset that I have to work 😭#And two of my classes are the kind of class that you can't easily work ahead so I can't just ride off the early days' enthusiasm#So things are certainly gonna be interesting#But at least me and the college buddies are back to our old shenanigans#*wags tail* I love em so much#We're thinking about going to a beach soon hopefully none of us get stuck by a jellyfish /reference#alterhuman#nonhuman#therian#dogkin#caninekin
13 notes
·
View notes
Text
i've been hating life extra bad lately </3
#so depressed too dont feel like doing anything#wake up w a headache everyday#everything is the same and it is so incredibly boring#spend all day watching yt or a kdrama which is fun but gets so extremely repetitive#i only talk to my mom a few times a day but that gets repetitive too. we kinda dont have anything to say anymore lil#lol*#hate school bc it's uninteresting and boring and i couldnt rlly choose the classes i wanted blah blah#i hate that i've asked for help for 6-7months now w my mental health#but they still have done jack fkn shit#i hate everyone hate everything....#im so bored#im so unable to do anything too#and i havent been able to reply to messages in days now lol#idk i dont see the point in doing anything i just dont wanna exist
11 notes
·
View notes
Text
Okay I FINALLY got through (enough of) work-work.
It is past 7 AM. I worked all frickin' night.
I have a meeting in less than 4 hours. Do I try to sleep, or do I know I'm only gonna get like 2 hours of sleep and need an afternoon nap anyway, so I should just stay up and try to finish Ahsoka art...
#YukiPri rambles#this is largely why i've been creating so little lmao#i work and then i don't sleep and then i'm exhausted and brain fog all day and then i take a lil nap but it's never enough#i can't write or draw anything but the most boring basic crap when my mind is utterly weighted by exhaustion and misery
30 notes
·
View notes
Text
i hate that this website has location based ads now like it's one thing to promote the local grocery store chain to me but i am seeing ads for my workplace now :/
#stop it......#i don't want to go back but this is the last sick day i can reasonably take#i probably should've gone back today but i told them when i was still feeling worse that i wasn't coming in.......#ohhhh i dread going in tomorrow so much. i don't even dislike this job i just hate being somewhere everyday#each day feeling its meaninglessness...... my meaninglessness in the space.......... the repetition and redundancy#selling people who don't need to be there things that they don't need#standing all day long just fucking bored#hoping that enough has happened since i've been gone that people can fill me in#ugggh because it's soooo boring but stressful to have to generate conversation with the same people every day#when nothing new ever happens#and i get sick of everybody even the people that i like and i don't really think anybody likes me that much either#i guess i felt this when i worked there part time but because i only had to be there part time it wasn't this constant gnawing feeling#and they didn't have me in the shop all the time....... this schedule is fucking killing me#i walk there i stand all day and i walk home#that's one of the reasons i haven't come back in yet - i was so dizzy and nauseous that the idea of standing all day was like.#i obviously can't fucking do that even if i would otherwise feel well enough to come in#if i had a sitting job then it wouldn't matter if i was a little dizzy#but getting back and forth to work and then standing for 8 hours. even when i'm feeling well it's kind of a lot#idk i guess i'm pretty unhappy with this job and where i am in life etc but i can't quit rn because what else would i do#there's literally job of this type that is going to pay as well and have good benefits#and i'm not qualified yet for the type of work i hope to do in the future#so i just gotta wait it out but it feels like. endless.#sigh anyway i'm just lazy lol#all this is to say. stop putting ads for my workplace on my dash lol i don't need to see all that
11 notes
·
View notes
Text
So I hit my 700th edit for the WHA wiki today, because I am a totally normal person
#For the record I have been there for. 27 days.#That makes an average of 26 edits a day which is even more terrifying because I definitely was not updating every day#Also this is for the Telepedia Wiki not the Fandom one#Anyway you should check it out!#In maybe a week because the website cache is super slow for some reason when you're not logged in#But I'm having fun#The nice thing about working on a wiki where there's actually other people doing stuff#Is that they can do the boring stuff like character bios and etc while I run around doing the fun stuff like pages on animals and plants#Anyway I was working on the Eldroxen page which are the big fluffy ox from the Silver Eve Procession#And it was so funny collecting info on them from the main series and then checking Kitchen real quick and SURPRISE! THEY'RE EATING IT!#I mean I should have expected this after having watched Dungeon Meshi and yet~~~#Also funny was that I copy+pasted the page coding for one the (food) animals as a template for this giant Mole-worm beast page but#forgot to remove the line about it being for food and afterwards had a laugh and then removed it#But now I'm like. They probably WOULD eat that sucker. Giant mole worm/snake/dragon thing? That'd feed a whole town!#Qifrey could have an entire audience watching how he'd prepare and season it#Anyway if you've been wondering where I've been that's it#Also funny story: during the Covid pandemic I stayed employed when my coworkers got let go because they needed me to catalogue an entire#new set of guided reading books; and have these sets have a digital checkout instead of the old-school card catalog we were literally still#using in 2020. Anyway I went all out with the organization of the books and the boxes and even made a reference binder for the books#via subject so teachers/tutors could find specific subjects and reading levels etc#(I'd have done a digital way to search for results but honestly half the teachers couldn't figure out how to sign in to the laptop. So.)#Anyway. Only a handful of teachers actually used these books and two years later the school switched to a new reading program#that came with its own set of books and lessons so this 10k reading set was essentially unneeded (and my dear coworkers never got rehired)#Anyway I learned last week that they're clearing out that room and all of those barely-used books are getting thrown out 🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃#Isn't that funny#Literally everything is just sandcastles built in the surf#I'm so glad I already accepted this during my pumpkin carving years because otherwise I think I'd be upset#Anyway I'm gonna go play my spooky fishing game
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
fanfic rambling in the tags, nothing interesting really, just me talking to myself lol, okay to ignore or read as you please ✨
#so i've found the perfect prompt list for an olli/allu fic advent calendar sorta thing#but i'm too intimidated by my own expectations and ridiculously high standards to even start writing any of them 😭#honestly these prompts are so insanely cute and fit olli/allu PERFECTLY#like. i'm actually having trouble deciding which ones to use because i want to write them all 🥺💞#but i'm so so scared that i'll just end up writing the same (boring) story over again for 24 times 😔#i wish i could just write without thinking and trying so hard to write a literary masterpiece#when i KNOW it's alright if it's just a silly little story about my blorbos#that's perfectly enough and i know this but my brain's just not having it 😩#also if i were to write 24 independent fics i'd have to keep them short and simple but. that's not how i do fics. unfortunately (for me)#to overcome this i guess one option would be to write just one longer piece with 24 chapters#and somehow try to include the prompt of the day in each chapter 🤔#but i don't want to make this even more complicated to myself lol especially because i'm planning to write AUs for a couple of the prompts#i REALLY want to do prompts (of any kind!!) but i'm just so scared of stressing myself out to another months-long writer's block 😭#fair enough the last time that happened (last winter/spring) i was in a shitty place mentally anyway#and so far i've been happy to be writing on random bursts of inspiration. that's how it's the easiest for me. the words just...flow out#i'm so insanely jealous of anyone who can just create stuff when given any prompt 😭#y'all are super humans to me how do you do it pls spill your secrets#and anyone tempted to comfort me by saying i shouldn't stress myself over this and that i don't have to write anything i don't wanna write:#i knoooooowwww and i appreactiate the sentiment but the thing is i actually DO want to write these prompts 😭#in theory at least. because they really are cute as fuck wth 🥺#the problem is that i can't /force/ myself to write something at the snap of my fingers without a clear idea besides the prompt#and also because i know it can take me days to finish even one story let alone 24 💀#so to even START on this project is a little intimidating 🫣#i just fear i won't have the patience :(#and when i realise i won't be able to finish the project i'll become frustrated with myself#if only i knew how to write shorter one-scenes in order to not tire myself out#but often i find those kind of fics somehow...unsatisfying :(#i'm just a sucker for crafting the context/background for stories. a little flesh around the bones if you will ����#okay that's all now i'm gonna go stare at a wall while doing nothing useful for the rest of the weekend byeeee#if you read this far i hope you're having a nice saturday
13 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
you-got-the-touch
Transformers Garbage
eduardodegodoy
Eduardo DeGodoy
spectraeyehospital
Untitled
manifestation-miracle-pdf-book
Manifestation Miracle Review. How To Manifest What You Want Quic
coastalcove5
Coastal Coves