#But at least me and the college buddies are back to our old shenanigans

[fennthetalkingdog]

Okay, so I saw a thing mentioning how you could wag your butt as if you have a tail to kinda mimic the feeling and that's so smart!! For me, unless I'm super super super happy, wagging my butt is usually just a shaking-water-off-my-fur motion T-T Like, I've been feeling a tail behind me pretty consistently for years now, and when I'm really happy it wags and the feeling gets stronger, but wagging for me is an exclusively tail motion. There's no physical signs because just it's moving (and that's part of why wearing a tail feels weird for me, cause mine will be wagging but since I don't move my butt the tail doesn't move with me T-T ). But I might try that sometime to let my friends know my tail is wagging :3

[ravelengths]

28

Life is weird.

I always find myself coming back to this blog at strange times, moments of nostalgic melancholy, periods of reflection. It is freshly a new year, so I suppose it's an appropriate time to reflect like this. There's just something odd about me coming here this time. I guess I just wanted to add another chapter to this saga. I suppose I want to share to myself what I've learned, express my thoughts as of late.

So here I am, a boy in a man's body. A boy who has navigated a great deal of confusion and pain in my time on Earth. A boy who has grown significantly, and has learned a lot, but still just feels like.. a boy. It's funny to see that I ended the last entry saying that "I have finally entered adulthood". Its funny to think that, for the first time, younger me was right about something. I pretty much hit the nail on the head.

In the time since my last entry, I have continued to work my same job, in which I have attained some pretty noteworthy credentials. I pushed myself to learn something new, pass some difficult exams, and gain some notoriety within my company. The kind of stuff I would have never imagined 5 years ago. I transferred to a location closer to home, and even got promoted to a leadership role, which pays me a wage that most people without college degrees or vocational school dream of earning. I'm so proud of myself for getting to where I am.

I'm still in the same relationship, going on 7 years now. And things couldn't be better. We bought a house together, another thing that I couldn't have dreamed of doing even a few years ago. Hell, it's still hard to believe that we were able to do it. And it's been almost a year now. And to complete the picture, we found a kitten in the car lot behind our house a few months after moving in. I was nervous to have a pet at first, but after a week we decided to get him a little brother. :) Some friends of ours found a full litter of kittens right after we found our little guy, and we wanted him to have a buddy to play with to expel all the energy he had. It's been amazing. I never knew the kind of joy simply having an animal to care for could bring. It has tremendously helped my mental health.

Along with all this, I've been a lot more active with my hobbies, at least when I'm not working (which is quite a lot). I've become a decent mechanic, I make music a lot more, and I've been getting into circuit bending and live visual art. It's been a helpful deterrent from drinking and such, as I find that I am much more focused and driven if I haven't drank in a week or more. But I'm not perfect. I've gone about a year now without smoking weed, but drinking a couple times a week is still my crutch it seems. It's much easier to go without for periods of time now, but I just can't seem to give it up completely. God knew I'd be too powerful if I wasn't an addict.

I guess I really am an adult. I work full time for the city, have a big house with my beautiful girlfriend with 4 cars in the driveway, and two sweet but demonic young cats waiting for me when I get home every day. I really have more than I could have ever wished for. Yet, I still just feel like, a kid. Maybe that's a good thing. Obviously I've made it pretty damn far in life, especially for not even being 30 years old yet. What is it that makes me feel this way? Why do I feel so weird about it? I'm doing okay, I'm not as irresponsible as I used to be, I have more than I could've dreamt of. Is it because I still have hope, and drive? I haven't just folded and accepted my fate as a boring adult? That's a good thing the way I see it. I don't know.

I guess it's just that I yearn for a time when I actually was young. For a time when I could call up my friends out of the blue and we could meet up and get into whatever shenanigans. Without the worry of having to get up early to go to work or worry about being hungover the next day. In a way I do still have friends like that, we toss aside our reasonable judgement from time to time to work on our projects together and drink and bullshit with each other. I love that. I hang onto that for dear life. I guess there are just other friends that I miss dearly.

Music is my greatest passion in life. It's always music that gets me feeling this way. It's what brought me back to this blog tonight. Specifically, the song "Zodiac Shit" by Flying Lotus came on after I put my music library on shuffle. It always brings me back to being like 16 years old, taking psychedelics with my friends, going on random adventures, doing whatever felt right at whatever given moment. I frequently long for this time of my life. Being truly free to explore life and my identity. I was definitely a troubled kid, but I lived in a beautiful delusion. It was wonderful. No matter how naïve I actually was, I really did have it all figured out. But that definitely couldn't last. And that's okay. It's not meant to last. I think the thing that sucks about adulthood, especially after the life I've lived thus far, is that things stop feeling new. It's hard to imagine having an experience that I haven't already traversed. I've lived in the underground nightlife, worked in the criminal underworld, traveled to other continents and gotten completely lost with no cell service, toured around the country in a bus with no seats to play music to hundreds or thousands of people. I've lived both as dirt poor and spoiled rotten. I've tasted all the luxuries and amenities of the elite, as an underdog degenerate kid. I've done hard, dirty laborious work with people of all colors and backgrounds. I've sipped champagne and done drugs with extremely rich people in VIP booths at clubs. I've chauffeured legendary musicians more times than I can count at this point. Even now, at what feels like the most stable and boring time of my existence, most people would still argue that I live a very interesting life. And they are right. I get to do some really fucking cool shit. Even in my professional work life, I get to do and see things that average people couldn't imagine. But why do I still look back on who I was over a decade ago with such awe?

I guess it comes down to freedom. While I am arguably at my happiest now, living an honest and modest life, I do look back fondly on the time where my body felt invincible. Where consequences weren't something that I gave much thought to. I never worried about sleep, never worried about getting in trouble, never worried about my finances. I suppose its easy to romanticize about the time when I didn't truly value my life. A time when I had no future, when I only cared for the present.

For the first time in my life, I have everything to lose. I have love, I have support, I have a home of my own, I have little kitties that depend on me. That's a beautiful thing. I am so grateful for it all. At the end of the day, I couldn't have all this if it wasn't for my past self. That dumb ass kid somehow navigated me to this exact moment. And I can't thank him enough. I'm so proud of him. I'm doing everything I can to take care of him today. I'm so glad that I've kept that child alive, instead of letting him die in the race to finding a stable life like many of the adults I've met in my life.

Maybe being a man-child isn't such a bad thing. Maybe I've still got it all figured out. I know that I am still learning every day, learning how to be a good man, a good member of society, a good friend, a good relative, a good partner. But shit, I'm doing that pretty well.

I'm doing alright.

[electronicdelusionstarlight]

In a way the whole "Izuku is the Dragonborn" fic would need to leave most of the backstory of Izuku the 4-14 years old dragon slayer on luck or Inko doing all the work while Izuku is, like, put in a position of safety (he still needs to eat dragon souls tho, same for Miraaks... How would that work even?) So I might need to move things around a bit.

Basically here's the backstory on all major shit:

Helgen: Inko and Izuku run away with Hadvar. They are not scheduled for execution because, you know, Hadvar might not go out of his way for a stranger but there is a small kid involved, younger than his cousin dammit, way younger than your usual Stormcloak Child Soldier Conscript from Dawnstar (an actual canon thing believe it or not) so he puts his foot down. In the keep Hadvar does most of the work obviously, even if Inko does, in her desperation, cut down people getting dangerously close to Izuku. She is a better lockpick than she expected, especially with her Quirk, and Izuku in his curiosity ends up pawing off the book and a strange, mysterious ring inside the Mage's cell. They then go to Riverwood with Hadvar, where they are directed to both Farengar and the College for matters regarding magical space travel, so to speak.

Riverwood: However, they are pennyless and alone in a foreign world, so Inko tries first to make money by working at the local lumber mill as she sends a courier to Whiterun for the Dragon Thing. Assume we are playing with my modded version of the game, which means Riverwood is currently the home of one Triss Merigold from the Witcher. She is also spacially displaced as of late, and is searching for Yennefer, Ciri and Geralt, with whom she jumped into this reality before getting lost from them. Dorthe and Frodnar will direct the small Izuku to her, since Dorthe is the one "babysitting" Izuku while his mother works so he's playing with the slightly older kids. Basically, they know she is a mage of some sort since she showed them some sort of light show, and Inko still needs to make money if she wants to leave with the proper equipment so they can't even go to Farengarym yet.

This allows us to 1) Set up the Triss Merigold X Midoriya Inko endgame and NO I AM NOR FUCKING STUTTERING and 2) Give Inko a competent bodyguard of sorts before she actually does get used to the unforgiving land of Skyrim and starts giving people heart attacks with her Quirk.

Of the Major Guilds:

Companions: Inko Joins as a way to make money for Izuku. With the mercenary work she manages to buy the house in Whiterun, so now Izuku can be left in a safe location, with "Aunt" Lydia as his babysitter. Whiterun Shenanigans ensue with Izuku befriending Lucia and Lars. Also Braith but, like, after lots of character development. Lucia is obviously the first to be adopted.

Inko is the one who becomes a werewolf and the Harbinger in the end, Izuku is not involved in this Storyline outside of some encounters with "Aunt" Aela and "Uncles" Vilkas and Farkas. Inko renounces her condition in the end.

College of Winterhold: They move to winterhold together since Farengar can't help them. Izuku is actually a quick study, as exemplified to that one spell book he found in helgen that thought him within seconds how to shoot lightning from his hands, much to his mother's worry. He ends up killing a bandit in self defense that way when he's barely 5. It was either do that or let them get to his mom.

Anyway, Inko is enrolled, but so is Izuku, the two now living on College Grounds. Triss is also there as an honorary lecturer. Anyway, Whe most of the adventuring is still done by Inko, is Izuku who receives the visit of the Psijic Order and, ultimately, he is the one to kill Ancano and close the eye of Magnus. Inko becomes Archmage still, even if she tries her hardest to have Toldfir step up instead.

The way Izuku kills Ancano is actually more based on guile than actual magical prowess. He is the only one not paralyzed in the boss fight, so what he does, is grab one of J'Zargo experimental Scrolls, summon a Skeleton Minion (Oblivion spell he was recently taught so to have someone protecting him in times of crisis), and then run with it against Ancano, too busy as he is being a megalomaniac, suicide bombing himself. He survives, but only thanks to the Restoration Professor quick intervention as Ancano dies and the paralysis falters.

Restoration magic did save the day in the end.

J'Zargo, who is usually aloof and snarky over his experiments, is actually horrified his rival's son almost got killed because of him, so he pledges he will do everything in his power to find a way to help them with their issue. He is a great magician after all, and his class is one of the brightest to date, they can find a way out for them.

Dragon War: Since all they can do now is wait for the College, Inko returns to Whiterun with Izuku and Triss, but on the way the watchtower is attacked, Mirmulmir is slain, and Izuku absorbs his dragon soul. This jumpstarts the events of Skyrim, with Izuku and Inko having to go on a pilgrimage to High Hrothgar to better understand what is happening to her son, who is now terrified of talking least he blew his mother apart with his voice.

A 5 years old kid makes a poor warrior, so the Greybeard offer to train him for his destiny, but Inko refuses. They don't need her son to kill dragons, just to eat their souls, so what she can do, is do the actual dragon slaying, and then have Izuku eat the souls. This still forces her to bring Izuku on her adventures, which isn't ideal, but only the dragon related ones. Izuku still learns the shouts of unrelenting force and whirlwind sprint as well as Dragonrend, but is Inko the one wielding the blade.

As a side note, Paarthurnax, for once not having to deal with a 4th era Nord, can finally give the unadulterated lore of the order rather than the imperialized, akatosh centric one, which leads Izuku to grow interested in Kyne, Warrior-Widow of Shor, for how much she reminds him of his mom.

Anyway, Inko is the one doing most of the stuff, Paarthurnax isn't killed, and Izuku gets two dragon buddies, one a wise and aging mentor war criminal, the other a brash and snarky red dragon he can call with his voice.

Izuku and Inko go both to Sovengarde. Inko meets back Kodlak, but also Ysgramor, who she now recognizes as a war criminal bastard, and she is the one dealing the killing blow on Alduin. Inko, Breath of Kyne, is the one sand in the songs now, the mother of the dragonborn who delivered them from evil.

Thieves Guild: Inko also does it all, but is the start of Izuku's involvement with Daedras. Inko takes the pledge to Nocturnal, so her soul is now bound to her realm, but is her son that catches the Prince's eye. Inko also tries to reform the guild back to its old robin hood ways, with divergent results.

Explorer Guild: This is the Legacy of the Dragonborn Mod. Inko founds the explorers guild and moves to the now bigger home in the Museum in Solitude. Proudspire manor has been bought by Yennefer, now advisor to Queen Elisif, who thanks to her influence has grown more confident. Girlboss helping Girlboss prosper and all that. She lives there with husband and daughter, and there's a reunion with Triss. Usual angst about "is she going to leave me? Are our adventures over?" But Triss stays because she cares about Inko and shit.

Anyway, inko is the one doing most of the stuff here too, but she now has a big enough home to adopt more than just Lucia.

She adopts every orphan, as well as Sissel and Britte in Rorikstead after murdering their abusive father. She then kills Grelod in Riften, so to also be able to adopt the orphans at the orphanage. To do so, she catches the attention of the Dark Brotherhood since she just stolen their contact. She of course adopts Aventus Aretino too.

Dark Brotherhood: All Inko. Unlike thieves guild, Izuku isn't even aware she's doing this, since he's back in Solitude with his new siblings.

Princes:

Izuku does Sheogorath. He's playing in the streets with his siblings and the other Solitude kids, when he finds Sheogorath abandoned follower. So he sneaks in the blue palace, gets to the forbidden wing, and meets Sheogorath, the Hero of Kvatch. Does his quest since it's a pretty easy quest even for a 5 years old kid, and then gets the Wabbajack in exchange.

Inko does Sanguine. The sham marriage is actually to Triss this time, which leads to more angst obviously.

Inko also does Vaermina (destroying the staff), Dagon (Destroying the Razor), Hircine (Gets the Ring), Malacath, Namira (Saves the priest and kills the cannibals), Molag Bal (Just... Never completes his quest and leaves the bastard hanging), Boethia (sacrifices one of the two racist dudes in Windhelm after trucking him into following her), Azura (Uncorrupted Star) and Peryte.

Izuku finds Meridia's Beacon but it's Inko who does the quest.

Izuku is the one meeting Barbas and they have "A boy and his dog" adventures together before he manages to bring him back to Clavicus Vile and convince him to take him back without needing to do his quest. He gets the Mask as a Result, but also a dog in the form of Styx, the spectral wolf, another mod.

Izuku does Mephala, pretty early on too. He befriends Baalgruf's bastard son while still living in Whiterun, who tells him about the whispering door, and after a couple of deceptions he gets the blade. He never charges it tho.

While is Inko the one getting the Ogma Infinium, she can't open it, and is Izuku the one opening it and gaining the boost in knowledge, as well as becoming Herma Mora champion.

Dawnguard and Dragonborn are also done by Inko, but is Midoriya who is sent to Apocrypha when she opens a black book. There he has a odd "Older Sibling trying to murder Younger Sibling" relationship with Miraak, and is ultimately forced to see him get killed by Herma Mora. Aunt Serana becomes a permanent fixture in the house.

Bard College is done by Inko but Izuku is also part of the college now.

Most quests are done by Inko, but the misc quests that require either speech or guile are done by Izuku, especially if they involve children. This includes stuff like paying for Erik the Slayer armor in Rorikstead, or cheering up that girl in Solitude whose uncle was executed for aiding in regicide.

Speaking of which:

Civil War: Inko does it obviously, and she sides with the empire, because 1) Hadvar, 2) Baalgruf, and 3) Elisif.

And also because she went to Windhelm one time to stop a serial killer and gods she couldn't believe how racist those fuckers were.

Modded followers are obviously Inigo, Lucien and Shirley Curry, to name a few.

Forgotten City is done by Inko, Izuku is not even in the time loop. Project AHO is done by Inko and ends with her freeing the slaves and murdering every single slaver in the settlement. Most modded quest mods are done by her honestly.

Izuku obviously keeps himself up to date with his magical studies, which means around 8-10 years old he moves back to winterhold, still waiting for a way home, so J'Zargo can study him to reverse engineer his quirk, and he can learn more spells. Most of his siblings are almost of age by now too, and his mother has started calming down in her worry, since she trusts her old coursemates and teacher to keek Izuku safe...

Ok, no, she trusts Onmund and Toldfir to keep Izuku safe, in this order, but it's still more people she would trust if he started living with any of her other guilds.

Anyway, can't think of much else.

[thewritingstar]

Hi star,

Hi love. I’m sorry I made you cry with my angst. So because you are so nice, I’ll give you some fluff to fix the soul.

Fluffy greens because you deserve it 😘

—-

She had always thought her first kiss would be gross and clumsy....and it was. An awkward pressing of two lips from two people who knew nothing of what they were doing and definitely nothing about love.

But it was still good. She liked it. It was messy and kinda gross but she had a sense of pride when she gushed to her sisters that the boy of her dreams, Mitch of course, finally had the balls to kiss her at the age of fourteen.

Bubbles squeal was ear shattering and Blossom taped her mouth shut as she congratulated her on the experience. The red in her cheeks only died when she went to sleep.

She had thought she was doing it wrong but when she asked Mitch was he felt, the anwser was just as promising as her own.

“Good.” Simple. Short. They didn’t do romance or gushy stuff, they were fourteen and she had more bruises and scars than Bubbles had stickers....so many stickers.

She never believed the movies when the girl would gush about seeing stars and feeling light headed. The rainbows and fluffy bunnies didn’t come to mind with the press of a short kiss. Mitch was good. She was good.

And she was okay with that. And when they broke up a year later, it was fine. They weren’t weird about it, okay maybe the first month but the moment they went into high school, they had settled their differences if you can call it that and genuinely appreciated friendship more.

Throughout school she shared kisses three more times. One with a boy for four months and that was fine. Another with a guy during spin the bottle sophomore year and a behind the bleacher make out session with the best offense player on the other high school female basketball team, so it happened once but still nothing.

After four kisses from four different people she was now convinced that kissing just wasn’t her thing.

“Mm could be.” Blossom said she asked differently questions about the idea of kissing.

“It’s not like I don’t want to kiss anyone.” She rolled her eyes and hugged her knees to her chest. “It just doesn’t feel right.”

Bubbles braided her hair and patted her head. “Ya know sometimes you need the emotional connection for the spark. Not all relationships are based on physical attraction.” Of course the psychological point was being added but Buttercup listened and nodded.

“Maybe.”

And she graduated high school with a few more kisses here and there, mostly from party games and dates but the tingling feeling maybe was just from her being drunk as a minor or that she needed to pee.

In any case she didn’t despise kissing, she just, she didn’t know. In fact the only time kissing had ever been of any excitement was when she blew that RowdyRuff boy up and out of the sky before he returned and beat the living daylights out of her, just for a simple peak.

It felt weird to think about that. They had returned back in town during high school and hadn’t had much connection, other than him bothering her every fucking day in four of her classes.

They were buddies, besties, bffs as Bubbles would sing and she had never thought of him in any way other than that, at least not out loud.

“So we finally graduated.” He huffed as they sat on the roof top of the school. Everyone was getting ready for the graduation party of the century at Princess place and of course she was only invited because Bubbles had taken a liking to her....they were cute she couldn’t lie.

“Not surprised I did.” She said as she popped open a soda can. His shoulder pushed on hers.

“Fuck off.” He slightly laughed and it softened as the sun began to set.

“So college now.” She hummed and she was kinda dreading this. She was excited for the next chapter. She wanted to study sport medicine every since sophomore year and with a full ride on her basketball talents, it was becoming clearer everyday.

“Yep.” He popped the ‘P’.

“Have you decided which school?” She toyed with her shoe lace. He had three options, one was at her school and deep down she hopes he would pick that. College with the best freind? Yes please.

“Mostly leaning towards the one in Oregon, it’s full ride which is great for my part but the other ones are only half.”

Oh.

“Well that sucks.” She picked at the cement and took a sip of her drink.

“Well we still have summer to get all the shenanigans of the greens out of our system.” She laughed at this as she thought of the extend list of things they had planned and it some how made it sad.

Buttercup finished her soda before setting the empty can on the ground. “You know what’s stupid?” She asked and their shoulders were touching.

“Enlighten me.” He cooed and she shot him a glare.

“We nearly dated or talked to every single athlete in this school.”

“Yeah but we are both hotties with fine asses so I don’t see who wouldn’t want a piece.”

“Right.” Her voice trailed off. What was she doing? She could sense it in her stomach. That gut feeling tightening as she knew she wanted to do something bad. She got this way when she would steal a cookie from the jar or break one of Bubbles crayons.

Guilt? Not really. Sadness? A little.

“Well we never dated each other.” He had finished her thought and she shuttered.

Most people chimed in saying it was like they were already married. If Brick and Blossom were the old married couple and Princsss and Bubbles were the love sick fools while Boomer and Mitch were honeymoon babes then what were they?

Had he thought about them together? Did he sit on his bed awake in the night with sudden random flashes of them together? Them on dates and whispering things into her ears? No he couldn’t have right?

“Guess we haven’t.” She said and they sat staring at the sunset. Orange and pink mixing to yellow, pretty.

“Do you want too? Just to say we did?” He asked and she was already turned towards him and his eyes matched hers.

“Why the fuck not.” They both shrugged and it truly didn’t feel like a big deal.

“Aight.”

His hands pressed gently against her cheek. She had felt the blundering blow of them before and was a little surprise at how soft and delicate they were. She leaned into it and she watched as his eyes slightly narrowed. Almost like he was deep in thought.

His pupils were slightl wider and she was sure that hers were too. That warm sensation that rushed to her cheeks, blushing? Yeah that, she felt it in a flash and for a moment he looked at her in a way she had never felt anyone look her before.

The flashback of senior prom came when they jokingly shared a dance. It had turned slow at the last second and instead of turning away, he took her hand and swayed to the beat.

She had pressed her head against his chest, because her feet were killing her obviously but she listened as he softly sang the words to the song only so that she could hear.

The song was coming to an end and she had made the mistake of looking up at him because she saw the most beautiful shade of green she had ever seen. Quickly she had looked away b she wouldn’t forget the way he gazed upon her.

That look. The one where his eyes seemed brighter than normal was her favorite and it seemed like something was on the tip of his tongue. His cheeks were slightly puffed out with that small smile and the only time she had seen it was under the light of a shitty disco ball as he held her close and the idiots thought nothing of it.

But now she came back to now. Them sitting on a foot top, graduation robes and hats tossed behind them as the sunset was fading in the distant. The classic romance movie setting and she had been so blind to everything before.

“We are so stupid.” He whispered with a laugh as her lips parted and accepted his almost as of her life had depended on it.

It rivaled her other kisses. It wasn’t sloppy or messy, not strangely wet or gross. It felt...remarkable.

His lips fit to hers in a way no one hand before and she was desperate for more as she angled her head and kissed him deeper and more passionately.

Her arms went to his neck as she pulled him impossibly closer and she felt that turn of his lips into that wicked smirk she desperately loved.

Love. The sensation that makes you feel butterflies, maybe this was it.

And all those times she didn’t believe the movies and books, she needed to write an apology for all the times she doubt them.

The fireworks as his lips heated her skin. They sparkled a bright luminous green around them as if their powers blasted in the sky. The tender feeling that could only be described as a chocolate truffle melting on your tongue, weird but true.

He tasted like heaven and soda pop and she found herself hoping for the moment to never end.

He pulled away for air and she was left panting as she stared at him in a new light. Like one of those romance movies that show the halo glowing around the love of your life? Yeah she saw that oddly enough and by the enchanted look in his eye, he saw it too.

“We really are idiots.” She laughed for she was pulled into another kiss.

She owed Bubbles her savings. The emotional connection of pure trust. She never trusted someone like this and felt a connection on a deep level that ran through her veins. Everyone else was missing that spark. That dark green spark that shines brighter than a thousand suns.

She understood everything better. If everyone else was love sick puppies and star crossed lovers then they were the fools. The ones who didn’t see that the love they craved and dream of was always besides them, a pair of green eyes and a toothy grin.

“Well I think my college choice is made up.” He winked and she knew in her heart that the fireworks were just the beginning.

—-

I hope this mended your heart and was soft enough. 💕💕😊

[ddaengyoonmin]

BTS Friends to Lovers Series (Taehyung)

Pairing: Police officer!Taehyung x Badgirl/Stoner!reader

Genre: Angst, Smut, Fluff, small attempts for humor

Warnings: some slightly dark themes, drug dealer!Jungkook, swearing, lots of weed references, deep throating, cum swallowing, dom!Tae, face slapping with hands and with his cock (cleanse my souuul oops) assault on a cop, some abuse of power from a Pervy older cop. Getting arrested. (I think that’s all let me know if I missed any)

A/N: while this is a reader insert I put a lot of my own personal experience and life into this piece. It was also partially based on a dream I had about getting arrested by taehyung

Word count: 6k

Songs to listen to: ‘Free spirit’ - Manila Grey ‘Parking lot’ - Manila Grey ‘Play with Fire’ - Sam Tinnesz

“Don’t worry, I’m not going to tell my mom and dad about this. You know they’ll just go right to your parents about it.  As long as it’s the last time this happens... right?”  Taehyung turned around and cocked an eyebrow at you from the driver’s seat.

You let out a groan and rolled your eyes.  “Sure Tae, of course it’s the last time” you spoke with a hint of sarcasm in your voice.  

“I mean it y/n, you’re lucky it was me that got to you and not one of the other guys.  You’d be down at the station right now instead of sitting in my car with a milkshake” He scolded

You took a big sip on the straw of your milkshake “Yeah thanks for this by the way, I was really getting the munchies” You joked

Taehyung let out a loud sigh, taking off his police issued hat and running his fingers through his shaggy brown hair annoyed.  Then holding up the plastic bag that had the remaining weed that you hadn’t smoked yet in it.  “I’m keeping this you know that right?”

You shrugged “What for? are you gonna start smoking again Mr. Do-good?” you teased him. 

“y/n…” he spoke sternly. “Damnit, you’re so lucky we are friends.  I don’t think you realize how many times I’ve saved your ass from doing actual time over this stuff” 

“It should be legal anyways and you know it.  Besides...I knew a time when you would’ve been right there with me” you said matter of factly. 

“Well that was a long time ago y/n.  We were kids, now we are adults.  Well...I am at least” he shot you a joking glare and you pretended you didn’t see him and just took another long sip on your milkshake. 

“I’m taking you home now” he sighed and drove out of the parking lot the two of you had been sitting in. 

You had known Taehyung since the two of you were practically babies, he was a year older than you but the two of you had been best friends since as long as you can remember. 

Your mom and his mom were best friends at college and were each other's maid of honor for their weddings.  Your families were tied together like an unbreakable knot, dinners together at least twice a month and unscheduled random hangouts were just part of your life, and with it, Taehyung. 

You were there when he had his first kiss at the middle school dance, you comforted him after his first break-up with said girl that he had his first kiss with.  You both drank your first beer together, and smoked your first joint together.  Everything that you did, you had done with Taehyung.  Until he graduated highschool a few years ago, and had the grand idea that he wanted to become a police officer.  That decision put quite a damper on the shenanigans you were used to getting into with him, and you’d felt yourself grow slightly more distant from him as a result. 

But, he still looked out for you.  Times like today you were kind of grateful he had joined the police force, because he was right, if anyone else had caught you smoking a joint with a few extra grams to spare on you, sitting inside a big yellow slide on a playground thinking that no one would notice (Spoiler, they did…) They wouldn’t have just scolded you and then bought you a strawberry milkshake. 

 Taehyung pulled up to your house and walked around to open the back door of the police cruiser for you.  

“Stay out of trouble y/n.  There's only so many get out of jail free cards I can offer before someone notices you know.” he pulls you into a quick hug

You snuggle your head into his chest for the quick moment, that he hugged you. 

“Ah, Don’t make me smell” he quickly grabs your shoulders putting you arm's length from him with his nose scrunched, a disgusted look on his face. 

“Don’t act like you don’t miss that smell” you winked at him as you walked the cement path leading to your front door.  

Taehyung rolls his dark eyes and gives you a quick smile.  

He didn’t always used to be like he was now, he was the biggest stoner you knew.  Which is what always caught you off guard about his decision.  It seemed quite random, it was strange enough to you that you felt it could’ve made the news, ‘Small town Stoner Turns Good Boy Cop’  You chuckled at that thought.  

Though you missed your favorite smoke buddy. 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The next day when you got out of work you drove over to your dealer’s house to replace the Eighth that Taehyung had to confiscate from you. 

Your old beat up car had been running on its last leg for a while now, but it continued to get you where you needed to go, and you spent too much money on smoke to think about getting a new ride. 

Jungkook was lounging on his front porch smoking a cigarette, his eyes shut in a dreamlike state, his jet black hair falling slightly down over the closed lids.  The bright rays of the summer day blessing his sun kissed skin in an angelic manner. 

“Hows my favorite pot-head” you grinned as you approached him, catching him off guard and causing him to flinch at the sound of your voice.  

Realizing it was just you he grinned and extended out a hand for you to help him stand up from the step he was relaxed on in front of his house. 

He stood tall and smoked one last drag on his cigarette before putting it out and opening his front door with a welcoming gesture inviting you inside. 

The scent of weed burned into your nose instantly when walking into his house, you loved the smell, you loved everything about it.  

Taehyung used to too… 

He was the most knowledgeable stoner you’d ever met.  He could even tell the strain of the weed he was smoking after just smelling it.  You and your friends used to quiz him for fun and he’d always ace every test without fail. 

You wondered if sometimes when he’d pull someone over and arrest them for the exact thing he used to partake in, he’d catch a whiff and know the name of their bud. 

It all seemed pretty hypocritical to you, but you have to remind yourself you both have grown up, people change, though you haven't much, you can’t blame him for it. 

Jungkook went over to a drawer and pulled out a large glass jar, carrying it with two hands over to a wooden coffee table near his couch.  You, knowing the drill, doing this trip to Jungkook’s at least once a week, had sat down on the couch to wait for him. 

Jungkook pulled a long un lit joint from the front pocket of his red flannel and held it between his lips with his eyes focused on the jar in front of him.

He pulled out a few nugs from the jar and put them on a cheap gram scale he had on his table, weighing it out to the eighth he knew was your regular purchase. 

“Isn’t this a little early to be here, how fast did you go through your last bag?” Jungkook chuckled, placing the nugs into a ziploc bag carefully.  

“Ugh” you sighed.  “Taehyung again” 

Jungkook knew just what you meant by that.  Taehyung used to be close friends with him as well before he became a cop.  They had a big falling out when Taehyung joined the force, Jungkook hated cops with a passion and said some choice words to Taehyung that had severed their relationship permanently.  It hurt to think about how things used to be, the three of you laughing and smoking, riding around in your old car flying on cloud 9.  Literally, the strain that was your favorite at the time was called cloud 9. 

Jungkook shook his head and pulled out a lighter from the same pocket the joint came from, lighting the tip for a second before inhaling and letting the smoke glide down his lungs, then passing it to you. 

“I don’t know how you can stand to be around him anymore” Jungkook grumbled. 

“First of all, I really don’t have a choice, actually I think we are having dinner with our families together later tonight.  Secondly” you made eye contact with Jungkook “Hes really not that bad.  It could be worse.  All I got was a soft warning and a milkshake”  you passed the joint back to Jungkook. 

“Until he gets some pressure from his higher ups to be more of a hardass.  I think your days of getting off easy are short lived y/n.  Enjoy it while it lasts.  He’s sold his soul to ‘the man’ trust me” He spoke between coughs from the rough hit he’d just took.  Putting air quotes around ‘the man’. 

You didn’t like the idea of that and you shut up for a bit, sharing the rest of the joint and paying Jungkook for your bag.  

He gave you a hug and a smile on your way out.  “Be more careful out there y/n” he winked and bumped your shoulder with his fist playfully. 

------------------------------------------------------

You went straight from Jungkook’s to your parents home where you were to have dinner with Taehyung’s family.  You sat in your car and quickly sprayed a massively overpowering amount of perfume on yourself hoping to mask the weed smell.  Then putting in some eyedrops to help with your glassy eyed expression you’d seen in your car mirror.  You winced at the way that it burned but were thankful for the relief that it gave to your dry eyes. 

When you arrived through the door your mom instantly ran over to you and embraced you in her signature hug, that always included a large inhale. 

“You smell like Marijauna” her eyes narrowed at you. 

“Oh no, not the Marijauna” you feigned shock and put your hands to your cheeks a surprised expression looking like the boy from home alone. 

She glared at you, not amused.  You knew your parents didn’t care that much, your dad especially.  They didn’t smoke but you knew your dad was a hippie in his day so he had no room to judge.  Your mom was slightly more judgemental but she usually just let you off with some snide comments and rude glances before returning to her normal bubbly self.  

She ran to her room and grabbed some febreeze and started chasing you around the house with it while you laughed, tears forming in both of your eyes at how ridiculous she was being. She was mostly worried about upsetting Taehyung’s family most likely.  Not that they were the type to judge either, but it was still made for a slightly more awkward dinner if it ended up getting brought up with Taehyung’s current position in life.  No one in town really knew how to act around him.  

You thought that must be tough on him.  People that were once his peers were now all terrified of him.  No one wanted to talk to him about anything more than casual small talk, and it was always very shallow conversation.  No one wanted to open up all of their deep secrets or emotions in front of a cop.  On the surface no one would think that it bothered him much.  He was good at keeping a constant blank expression that never let anyone into what he was thinking even back in highschool.  But, knowing Taehyung the way you knew him, it must bother him.

He was the life of the party, and now he's the buzzkill who crashes the parties. 

Taehyung’s family arrived and you all sat down to eat.  Your parents asked Taehyung about his job and how it’d been going.  He said he liked it and he was actually getting close to a promotion. 

His eyes flickered your way, almost like a small apology was hidden in that look.

You knew what that meant, no more getting off easily anymore.  Jungkook was right, the idea that you had a cop friend on your side was just a fun fantasy.  Next time you got caught by him, he wouldn’t be treating you like a friend one bit.

----------------------------------------------------------------

The moment came sooner than you’d thought.  You and Jungkook had been going on a late night taco bell run, smoking a joint the whole way there, and you as usual were carrying a decent amount of smoke in your bag. 

You had stopped in the parking lot, parked in the back to hotbox and eat in the car.  Hotboxing was one of the funnest activities you used to do in highschool and you had mentioned to Jungkook that it’d been way too long, he was more than happy to oblige. 

You were giggling like a child over the way the word ‘Taco’ sounded if you said it slowly when you were startled by a tapping noise on the window. 

Not able to see through the smoke fogged glass who had knocked on your window, you squinted then glanced to Jungkook, who stared wide eyed at the colors of blue and red flashing to the side of the car. 

“Fuckkkkkkk” he groaned, hitting the steering wheel roughly with a flat palm.  “Fuck fuck fuck.  Y/n you’re carrying a bag aren’t you” 

Your eyes grew wide, “Y-yeah…are you?” 

Jungkook gave you a ‘what do you think’ look

Of course he was. 

You sighed and rolled your window down, a wave of smoke pouring out and flowing right into the face of the officer standing there.  Fuck, it wasn’t Taehyung. 

“How’s it going officer?” you asked sweetly.  He was less than pleased. 

“Both of you. Step out of the car” he ordered sternly. 

You did as he said, and now realized that another officer sat in a separate car.  Taehyung…

“Officer Kim, can you assist me here” The older policeman spoke Taehyung’s way. 

He got out of the car, his uniform fit him way too sinfully, you’d always though he looked more like the cop from an old porno , than one you’d ever have taken seriously.  But, the expression he currently held on his face gave you the chills, and not in a good way. 

He glared your way, shaking his head in disappointment.  Jungkook was throwing dagger eyes towards Taehyung as he started to approach him to pat him down. 

“Oh fuck off Mr. High and mighty” Jungkook scoffed, stepping back from Taehyung. 

“Kook” you pleaded at your friend to take hold of his temper. The older cop had started to pat you down as you held your arms out.  Upon finding the bag in your pocket he waved it in the air like he’d hit the jackpot.

“Look what we’ve got here Officer Kim.  Someone’s been a naughty girl” he playful spoke.  The way he said that made you nauseous, you didn’t like the way he had just started behaving one bit.  But, what could you do. 

He continued his pat down, his hands lingering on your breasts for too long.  You shot him a glare and tried to recoil away from his touch. 

“Ah ah, you’d be surprised how many ladies try to hide illegal items in their bra’s thinking I wouldn’t check there” he grinned evilly. Fucking pig. You thought. 

You turned to see how things were going with Jungkook just in time to see him winding up a fist and throwing it forward into Taehyung's face. 

Shit. 

The hit sounded out like he’d damn near broken Taehyung’s nose, and the other officer was immediately to Taehyung’s side.  Both of them tackling Jungkook and pinning his arms behind his back securing them with handcuffs.  The older cop holding him down with a knee on his back pressing his face into the parking lot’s asphalt. 

You stood shaking in realization that Jungkook had just gotten himself into some real trouble.  All because of his stupid grudge with Taehyung.  If anyone else had gotten in a small tuff like that with an ex best friend, it probably would’ve just ended with a couple bloody noses and both men walking away feeling like they got the better hit in.  But because Taehyung was what he was now...it’s most likely going to end with Jungkook doing some time.  Assaulting a cop was definitely not a minor crime. 

They had scooped Jungkook off of the ground and shoved him into the backseat of the older officers cruiser. Jungkook cussed and grumbled the whole time.  

“I’m gonna take this one down to the station,” the Officer pointed to Jungkook “You take our little lady here home.  Maybe teach her a lesson on picking a better choice in boyfriend” he winked Taehyung’s way.  

You were appalled but not surprised at the older man’s behavior.  Some cops felt like they could get away with that shit...cuz well...they could. 

You followed Taehyung to his car silently with your head low, only lifting it once to send one last glance Jungkook’s way, catching his eyes for a second and both exchanging looks of worry.  Possibly a goodbye for a little while. 

Once you were in Taehyung’s car the waterworks came.  You held your face in your hands and sobbed loudly, your body convulsing with the heaviness of your emotions. 

Taehyung was quiet, pulling a few tissues from his glovebox and holding them to his nose tilting his head back. 

The two of you sat there for a while, silence lingering between you like some delicate thing just waiting to break. 

“I’m sorry” Taehyung whispered. 

“For what? Getting Jungkook arrested or for your pervy boss and his grabby hands?” You spat out with some fire, still slightly fucked up on the drugs you’d been inhaling. 

“Both...All of it…” he muttered, staring straight ahead and avoiding your piercing gaze.

“Why’d you even do this Tae? This job doesn’t suit you, I just don’t get it.  We’re best friends.  And look at us.” You motioned to the way you were sitting.  Him in the front, and you behind glass separating the space between the two of you.  You noted on how much of a metaphor for that felt like for the distance he’d put between you, differences between you now… 

“Regular Catwoman and Batman huh?” he murmured. 

Goddamnit.  And there's the exact reason you could never hate him.  “You fucking nerd.” You sighed chuckling and falling back into the seat shaking your head. “Oh my god. You’re not allowed to make me laugh right now.” 

Taehyung sent an apologetic smile your way. 

As upset as you were, his joking really did shift the tone in the car and you decided to tease him back. 

You put your wrists together and held them to the glass near Taehyung’s head. 

“Aren’t you gonna cuff me officer?” you said flirtatiously, batting your eyelashes at him.  Expecting him to roll his eyes and groan at your joke. 

Instead you were met with a serious expression.  His eyes lingering on your wrists and then trailing over to your lips.  His tongue darted out and licked over his bottom lick slightly. 

“Holy shit did that actually turn you on or something?”  you gasped, lowering your hands from his view. 

He instantly snapped out of the state of mind he had gone into so suddenly.  “Of course not” he snapped “Don’t be ridiculous” 

“Oh my god.  It did! I didn’t realize how kinky you were Kim Taehyung.” you winked at him “Handcuffs get you going? No wonder you became a cop.  You’re going to turn into old pervy Officer whatshisname aren’t you? Gross Tae,” You started to laugh. 

“Shut the fuck up, I’m not like that.” he barked loudly.  Instantly catching you off guard and having you sit up straight and rigid. 

“Sorry” you mumbled. “Officer” you added with a bit a spite. 

“Damn right.  You think you can just get away with all of this, with no consequences and no worries.  One day you’re going to have to grow up y/n.” 

“Oh like you?” you raised an eyebrow “No thank you...sir” 

You heard what sounded like a low growl from Taehyung.  

In an instant he sped up and parked the car in the far corner of the parking lot where the lot lights weren’t reaching. In hindsight that was probably where you and Jungkook should’ve been parked. 

Taehyung got out of the car and stood by your door.  You wondered if he wanted you to get out and join him outside the car.  But the car doors of police cars are always locked from the inside unless you have the key.  So you waited, for what seemed like painfully long time. 

You glanced out the window to see Taehyung pacing back and forth outside of the car with a hand pressed to his forehead, he was stressed.  Probably from the fact that he’d basically just sent Jungkook, his former best friend, to jail. 

Taehyung turned and rested a hand on the door handle.  Was he finally going to let you out? He seemed to be hesitating.  After what felt like forever the door clicked open and Taehyung was climbing into the back seat with you. 

“Oh hello?” you spoke in surprise. 

Taehyung didn’t speak, he continued his hungry gaze from earlier, biting his lip slightly and staring at you with bedroom eyes. 

“Taehyung…” you started before you were cut off. 

“I wanted this job to protect people.  I care about those close to me.  The older I got the more I realized how important that was.  Everyone thinks that I just want to bust them for weed or partying and be the killjoy of our town.  But, that wasn’t it.  Remember that summer that girl got drugged at that party.  No one was able to find the guy.  I wanted to be the type of person that could look out for people.  That could maybe do something about things like that.  It sucks that I had to give up some of my habits that I don’t necessarily agree with the laws on.  But I follow it, I sacrificed that to keep this town safe.  To help keep you safe” he added at the end.  His expression sincere.

“I guess I hadn’t really thought of it that way.  Jungkook probably hasn’t either…” 

“Yeah Jungkook doesn’t give a shit about my reasonings.  Fuck the police and all that.” he rolled his eyes. 

“I get it” you shrugged.  “That's actually a pretty decent reason.  I miss getting to hangout with you other places than the back of your cruiser though” you teased, poking him in the shoulder. 

“Mmm then maybe you should start behaving little girl” he growled in a tone you’d never heard him take with you before. 

“Tae..” you looked at him with furrowed brows, your mouth hanging open slightly in confusion. 

Before you knew it Taehyung's hand was clutching you jaw lightly, one finger trailing over your lips. 

“I’d always thought…” he whispered.  “Maybe one day, you’d calm down with all of this stuff, and we could…” he trailed off. 

You blinked rapidly in realization of what he was saying.  Did Taehyung really just imply what you think he did? You felt your hands start to shake slightly.  Not that you were completely opposed to it, but you just couldn’t understand why he would feel that way.  You’d on and off had a crush on Taehyung your whole life.  He was your first crush when you were just in elementary school.  You weren’t even sure if he’d remembered, but one day when you were probably only 7 and he was 8 years old, tiny little Tae had run up to you on the playground with a bouquet of yellow dandelions clutched in his small hand.  

“Y/n.  Will you marry me?” he had squeaked out. 

You had chuckled and taken the dandelions from his hand “Taehyunnnng, we’re too young to get married.” 

He had pouted cutely, crossing his arms across his chest. “Fine.  Well one day you will.  And I’ll buy you a big house, with a puppy, and a big garden.” You had nodded and said “Fine. One day a lonnng time from now. Promise” and the two of you had continued to play during your recess and it was never spoken of again. 

You’d occasionally think back on it as a funny memory.  But now, looking at him here.  The way he looked at you…and those words.  ‘Maybe one day you will’ ‘Maybe one day you would…’

“Tae…” you stuttered out again.

“Maybe you just need to learn a lesson or two.  Maybe I need to teach you how to behave.” he growled, his hand trailing over your lips was now making its way to your neck.  His thumb slightly pressing down on your jugular as he eyed you dangerously. 

You whispered under his touch but didn’t try to pull back.  You couldn’t deny to yourself that this excites you, it probably shouldn’t but you’d always been a sucker for a little pain. 

“Is that was you need hm?” he asked authoritatively. 

Should you?

“Y-yes…” you stammered out.  

“That’s what I thought” he hissed out. “That handcuff comment was uncalled for.  Maybe you were the one who wanted me to tie you up hm?” He started to move to pull out the handcuffs he kept on him, twirling them around on his middle finger. 

Your heart started to beat rapidly, and your breathing was becoming so quickened at the sight of Taehyung, your best friend Taehyung...Police officer Taehyung, in front of you, uniform and all, about to handcuff you for mutual pleasure. 

You nodded innocently. 

A low groan rumbled in his chest as he leaned over to you, pushing you down onto the backseat so your back was flat against the cushions. He now hovered over you, his face mere inches from your own, and a look of pure lust gazing down at you. 

He started to grab your hands and cuffed you to a spot they had in the cruiser that made his task of securing you quite easy.  The metal bit into your skin slightly but you could tell he made sure not to put them on too tight.  Your arms were now held over your head, and any thoughts of backing out had been pushed away.  You wanted him, you craved him, you needed this. 

Taehyung’s lips crashed down on to yours sloppily and wet, instantly slipping his tongue into your mouth as he held your jaw roughly with one hand. 

“I’m gonna fuck that dirty mouth of yours.  I’m going to teach you how to respect authority little girl” he growled, now straddling your hips and unbuttoning the belt of his uniform and tossing it to the side. 

He didn’t continue to undress himself.  Instead his hands pulled on the bottom of your shirt, rolling it up over your breasts and letting it sit high up on your chest, not being able to fully take it off due to the way you were cuffed. 

He let out a lustful moan and bit his lip at the sight of you. 

Of course you weren’t wearing a bra, he thought.  It was so like you to be like this, always the tease.  Taehyung had loved you for as long as he could remember, and finally he had you here underneath him.  Strangely when he used to picture fucking you in the back of a cop car (because he totally had fantasized about that) he wasn’t the cop.  But, here you were, and here he was, grown up and still exactly the way he had always pictured.  Your tits looked so incredible, better in person.  He’d never told you but when you’d gotten your nudes leaked around the town at one point by an ex boyfriend he happened to get a copy sent to him.  He had deleted it right away...if right away meant after jacking off to them first and then deleting them…

He felt bad about that, but he loved you so much and your body was completely irresistible to him, he didn’t know how he’d managed to make it this long in life without having you for himself. 

He gave your tits a few squeezes and lowered his head down to them, biting now on your nipple grazing his teeth over your skin, and loving the way you squirmed under him at the sensation.  He sucked and bit at you, making sure to roll the neglected nipple in his fingers while he did.

You were absolutely loving it. 

Taehyung then pulled back releasing you with a pop. He now started to unbutton the black uniform pants and pull out his enormous cock. 

Your jaw dropped at the mouth watering sight. 

You’d always assumed he was big, you’d seen him get hard in some swim shorts once at a pool party when you’d shown up in a skimpy swimsuit, but now seeing it fully you realized you’d underestimated the length and girth of him greatly.  You licked your lips hungrily, wanting a taste. 

“ You like that huh baby? Dirty little slut, so weak for my cock right now?” he grinned stroking himself slowly. 

You nodded in response, your eyes fixed on the length in front of you. 

He moved to position himself so it was right in front of your face and he was leaning over you. 

“Hungry little slut” he whispered.  He smacked you hard against the side of your cheek with his heavy cock, you were surprised but mostly turned on at the fact that it actually hurt a bit.  

“Are you gonna behave for me?” he asked sternly, looking down at you with a fucked out expression.  

“Maybe?” you teased. 

Whack. He smacked you again with his cock, slightly harder this time. 

“Don’t be a brat now.  You are going to behave, or I’ll make you behave. Okay?”  he growled. 

“Okay” you whimpered, trying to pretend that you weren’t totally in love with how he was acting, trying to play into the game. 

“Okay what” he snapped. 

“Okay...sir?” 

“Thats right.” he nodded.  Then placed his hand back around your jaw, gripping you tightly.  “You’re gonna open up and take my dick, allll the way. Let me fuck this dirty mouth of yours” he ordered. “And maybe once you’ve sucked every last drop of cum out of me, you’ll think a little more before you go around acting out.” 

“Yes sir” you nodded, parting your lips showing him that you were ready to take him. 

“Fuck,” he whispered, breaking the stern voice he’d been maintaining for a quick moment, letting on to just how excited he was to be this intimite with you. 

He pushed his hips forward, his hand on his shaft and the tip of his cock now sitting on your lips. 

“You’re okay with this right?” he whispered.  Gentleman Taehyung making an appearance for a moment

“Yes sir” you purred with a grin. 

“Get ready to take me then baby girl” he growled, going back to his previous demeanor. 

He pushed his cock into your mouth all the way, slowly, getting you adjusted to how huge he was and getting a feel for how much you could take.  To his delight he slid all the way down until your nose was buried into his abdomen. 

“Fuckkkk” he hissed out. “Such a Good girl for such a bad girl.”

He quickly pulled out and repeated slowly fucking his cock all the way into your mouth and quickly pulling out again.  

“Get ready baby” he moaned.  Then started to speed up his pace, his hips rolling into your mouth quickly, causing you to gag lewdly a few times as he did which only seemed to turn him on more, causing a pleasured hiss each time. 

“I fucking love this mouth baby.  You take me so well.” Taehyung was biting at his lip and staring down at you in awe. 

You moaned around his cock, the vibrations making him stutter and throwing him off his pace for a moment. 

“So good” he whispered.  You felt like that one wasn’t meant for you to hear, but you loved knowing how good you were making him feel so your heart skipped a bit at his praise. 

Taehyung gripped your hair, steadying your head and pumping himself into your at a fast pace.  

“Thats fucking it y/n.” He panted out “Fucking. Learn. How. To. Behave.” he growled and smacked a hand to the side of your face.  

Your eyes were watering and you felt a warm pool of wet growing between your legs.  You could get used to this Taehyung. 

“I’m gonna cum in your mouth and you’re going to swallow every. Last. fucking. Drop.” he pounded into you in sync with each of those last words. 

You stared up at him with flirtatious eyes and smiled slightly. 

“Damn those eyes are dangerous” he groaned and with that you felt him tense up and his pace grow uneven.  

“Shit. Fuck. Y/n. Oh my god” he screamed out while emptying himself into your mouth.  His cock twitching wildly as he fucked into you.  You closed your lips around him as he pulled out, sucking slightly to get every last drop as he’d ordered. 

He looked down at you with pure joy as you stick out your tongue to show him his cum pooled up and gathered in your mouth before rolling it back into your mouth and swallowing with a loud gulp. 

“Wow.” he stared wide eyed at you.  “So fucking hot”  gasped out

He now went to the cuffs and pulled his key out, releasing you from your restraints. 

Taehyung rested down on top of you where you still laid.  His head on your chest. 

“You alright man?” you chuckled running your fingers through his sweat drenched hair.

“Mhm” he smiled widely with his eyes closed “That was amazing” 

This cute Taehyung that cuddled up next to you now was a Taehyung you thought you’d lost long ago.  Your heart felt full and warm seeing him this way. 

“Soooo are we returning the favor or?” you joked

His head snapped up he hovered over your face and looked at you with a playful expression.  “Nope. that’s your punishment for getting caught.” 

“For getting caught huh?”

“Well yeah.  You don’t have to stop doing what you love y/n.  For God sake, if you’re going to date a cop you can’t be that reckless with it thought.  Keep it in the house and where you’re for sure safe from anyone catching you or calling me to come check out the situation” he rolled his eyes. 

You sighed. “I guess I can manage that.  Wait...date? A cop? Wait…” you started to stutter realizing what he’d said. 

“Well you promised you’d marry me one day remember? but, I figured dating is a good place to start” he grinned with a wink. 

You felt butterflies in your stomach at his recollection of that day so long ago. 

“What an odd pair we’ll be” you chuckled. 

“Yeah… oh also I’m gonna get things with Jungkook figured out okay.  I feel like shit about it, and I’m going to make sure everyone at the station knows he didn’t mean it, and I barely got a scratch on me.” he let you know. 

You nodded, almost forgetting about Jungkook. 

“I think that’d be a good idea Tae, I think he honestly misses you, you know?” 

“Yeah I miss him too…”

You planted a small peck on Taehyung’s lips.  “You’ll get it figured out.  I know you will.” 

Taehyung smiled down at you and returned your quick peck. 

“How are you so bad and so good all at the same time” he shook his head. 

“I guess that's just what you like in a future wife” you teased. 

“I suppose so,” he replied.  Except he knew, that he meant every word.

  Love is such a funny thing.

[obediencegolden15]

The Story of Us

In memory of Maddie ~ 1/22/2004 - 1/1/2020

“If there ever comes a day where we can’t be together, keep me in your heart, I’ll stay there forever.” -Winnie The Pooh

Sixteen years. Well, if you want to get technical, it was actually 15 years, 11 months, and one week.

To some that seems like a blip on the radar and in all reality, it is a short amount of time, but there were a ton of memories packed into that time. Time is a funny thing, you see, we keep track of seconds, minutes, and hours--but our dogs have no concept of time. They’re more present than we’ll ever be as humans. 

They say that diamonds are a girl's best friend, but I’ve never really been about diamonds. All you had to do was look at who was next to me and know that Maddie was my best friend. A confidant. Teacher. But most importantly, a cherished member of the family. I don’t know of any being on this planet that knows every tear and every secret there ever was to know, than Maddie. Before I continue, I think we should start at the beginning of our story. 

When I was 11 years old, we had finally gotten our first dog as a family. It was something I had always wanted growing up. My sister and I had our Mom convinced, but we had to get our Dad on board. Finally, he agreed.

During that time, I was in 4-H and knew I wanted to train Maddie and show at the county fair. Not only did we do that, but we did so much more. At that time, I had no idea that God had given me the passion to train and form a connection with a different species. The world of training and competing at local, regional, and national dog show events was opened to me after some of my mentors noticed my love of training and working with Maddie.

Once I learned about dog competitions, I was hooked. While an entire book could be written about our experiences and travels to dog shows, those memories will always be locked away deep in my heart. While the competitions were a blast, the titles, ribbons, and accomplishments mean so little in the grand scheme of things. I would love to write about those experiences, but as I’ve gotten older, it has made me realize what’s important in life. The ribbons, trophies, and prizes will always be visible, but a special dog will not always be here forever. The miles driven, the hours training, the early mornings at the show, and the laughter with friends are the greatest parts about dog shows. 

I often wonder if God knew I needed an Earthly companion such as Maddie to get me through those teenage years when I was bullied in school. There would be times after school where I would come home and sit and cry with Maddie. She had no judgement, all she had was her love. Sometimes I wonder if He hand-picked her to be in my life for over half of my 27 years thus far, knowing that we’d go on so many adventures, meet an abundance of people whom I call my dear friends to this day, and open so many doors for me. While it might be crazy to think a dog could do this for one person, but I believe God has done all of this for me. I might have had some basketball dreams that went unfulfilled, but now I can see why those dreams didn’t happen. Because this was supposed to happen. Maddie was supposed to happen. The people, places, and faces were supposed to happen. 

At times I wonder where my life would be today if it wasn’t for Maddie being placed in my life. Would I even have dogs? Would I have went to the University I went to? Would I work where I work now? What type of hobbies would I have if I had never learned about dog shows? A lot of these questions can’t be answered and may never be answered. But one day they will be.

To know Maddie was to love Maddie. I don’t think I ever remember a day where she wasn’t joyous about life or full of zest to see new people. Whether it was basking in the sun in the dining room of our childhood home, laying in the grass in the sun soaking in the rays, or finding a spot of grass or snow to roll in and then lay there afterwards being fully present. Maddie was a very social dog and could walk up to anyone and greet them with a hello and a friendly wag of her tail. I fully believe she came into my life with a purpose to teach me several lessons that I wouldn’t have learned elsewhere. 

My first two years at college went by in a blur, but I had always missed Maddie. To me, she was a constant in my life, even when times were difficult and it felt like the rest of the world walked out on me. Luckily, my last two years Maddie was able to come to college with me and was the 6th roommate to the girls I had lived with during that time. I think she provided comfort for all of them when classes were stressful. Even in school, we went and trained every week at a local training school, which brought more people into our life. This became a very important outlet for me to not focus on the stress of school so much, but be able to tune it out for a bit and focus on something I loved. During my second semester of my Junior year, I experienced some health issues for several months, not knowing the true cause, but Maddie was there for me again. She was the reason I got up, got outside, and still trained with her, even if I wasn’t feeling good. Sometimes she was even a study buddy who would curl up next to me on the floor and fall asleep while I studied for exams and wrote papers. 

After I graduated college, Maddie and I moved to Green Bay (she actually was born in Green Bay), where I would begin my career. The best part of the job I started was that I was able to bring her to work with me, where she received lots of petting and snacks. I think this was the highlight of her day! From here we started a different and new life adventure together. Every transition I faced, we faced it together. You were such a trooper and for that I’m thankful. 

So Maddie, thank you for being the very best teacher a girl could ask for. Thank you for teaching me how to love. Some days I had to put your needs above my own, but it was all out of love. Love is always a choice we make every day, but with her she never had to choose, she just did. Thank you for teaching me how to be selfless, especially in your older years. Thank you for being that constant in my life and my best friend. No matter how many storms we weathered, we weathered them together. Thank you for your goofy ‘happy dances’, sun bathing, nose nudges, hiking buddy, the paw you’d give while someone was petting you, the special quiet moments we shared, and so much more. 

Saying goodbye was the hardest thing I ever had to decide for you and while I wasn’t ready to say goodbye, I felt I had to honor you in the best way possible. You had been there for me through everything and I didn’t think it was fair for you to be suffering. I hope you know that my choice was only out of love and it was the least I could do after all of the things you have done for me. While my life will never be the same without you in it, it will be different, a new different. The house certainly isn’t the same without you and it will take me a bit of time to get used to the new normal, but please know I miss you every single day and would give anything to have you back. Your presence is sorely missed, as are your shenanigans. The hole in my heart will eventually heal, but I know that one day we will see each other again -- filled with no pain or sorrow. Please know that I will always love you and you forever hold a very special place in my heart. You can never be replaced or forgotten. You may be gone from my life, but the memories and the journey we shared was special. Thank you doesn’t seem like it’s enough for your unconditional love and while I’m only human and made mistakes, you still forgave me. I thank God everyday for you and to Him all the glory!

Life may be different and take some time to adjust, I know that Maddie is with me wherever I go. I will always love each and every dog I own, but Maddie will always hold a special place in my heart. She has been there through every major life transition. From growing up, graduating high school, spending two years with my roommates and I at college, to starting my first real job in a new city, and also my first home. When you look at all of that, it’s a lot. Way more than most people can ever expect to have with their dogs. For that I am so grateful. As they say in obedience competitions, exercise finished, Maddie dog, exercise finished. 

[hollow-of-falling-stars]

Who Killed Markiplier?

Chapter One: The Invitation You’re sitting in your office, in your hands you hold an envelope addressed to you. And Mark was the one who sent it. It had been a few months since you had last heard from Mark, and that was only because he had managed to get himself into trouble and he needed a good lawyer. You’ve represented Mark in court before, but you truly wish that your friend would stop relying on you all the time and started owning up to his own actions for once. That wasn’t to say that you were on bad terms with Mark, no sir. You had met him and Damien in college and had stuck together since. You all thought it was hilarious how similar you all looked, and this often caused..... Problems for the university with the shenanigans you would help them pull off. With a sigh, you reached for your letter opener and carefully removed the wax seal, Every damn time, enough with the dramatics Mark..., and read through the letter. It wasn’t much of a letter, it was an invitation to a party. Apparently, Mark was feeling nostalgic and he wanted to invite all of his close friends to a poker night of sorts. After sending a quick message to Damien, you confirmed he had received the same invitation. It was scheduled for tonight though, and it's a long drive out to Mark’s place....Well, if the Mayor was going, then so should you.... Who know’s what could happen?

You step out of the taxi in front of Mark’s Manor, taking in forest surrounding it. As you check your watch, you note that you barely made it in time. The party is supposed to start at 8pm, and it’s already 7:55pm. As you hurry to the door, you’re greeted by a man who appears to be dressed as a... Hunter of sorts? “Oh, bully!” The man laughs as he turns to greet you, “And here I thought that I was gonna be the last to arrive, my friends call me the Colonel. You’re welcome to do the same, should it please you. But, uh... After you.” The Colonel gestured for you to step through the doors first, it appears that the butler had been waiting for one of you to approach the door, as he pulled it open when you reached for the handle. “Bonjour! Welcome to Markiplier Manor. Your invitation please.” The Butler said, holding out his hand expectantly. You hand over your invitation and he walks you through the foyer. “Very good, very good. Right this way, good luck at the table tonight, I shall fetch you a drink forthwith.” Almost immediately, Damien halts his conversation with the man in the detective outfit and smiles at you. “Oh! There you are, old friend. How are you settling into your new office? Now I know it’ll take some getting used to, but there’s no one I’d rather have alongside me to protect this great city of ours.”  You nod and laugh, -Again, with the dramatics guys, geez...- you think as Damien continues talking. -Are you auditioning for a Shakespearean play or something?- “Now, I’ll see you at the table soon, but try not to rob me blind again. We’ll catch up.” Damien laughs as he walks away, heading for the man who introduced himself as the Colonel. The manor is a strange place, and you try to ignore the fact that the piano is playing by itself. You turn the corner and you see the chef holding a pan and a ladle. Before you have a chance to speak, he snarls at you  “If you’re looking for hors de’voures, I’ll get ‘em when I’m good and ready!” He walks away from you, heading back to the kitchen. You follow, and try to offer to help, it’s the least you can do after all. “And stay outta my kitchen!” He shouts. Well, looks like you won’t be helping after all. “Now, now. Let’s not be rude to our guest.” The butler says, he apologizes on behalf of the chef and hands you your champagne. “Enjoy your evening!” He says as he walks away. Mark comes down the stairs just after that, wearing a red silk robe and a pair of loafers. “Welcome, welcome. One and all.” Mark announces as he reaches the landing. “My name is Markiplier. Thank you all for joining me on this auspicious evening. So good to be surrounded by such close and trusted friends.” -Because that doesn’t sound suspicious at all,- you think to yourself. Mark goes on to talk about everything and nothing, and tells everyone to drink and be merry. He also said something about being dead tomorrow, but Mark’s known for his theatrics so you don’t take much notice of what he says. Now he’s laughing like a crazy person, you’d better just drink your champagne. Within the hour, you’re feeling pretty woozy. Something tells you that the butler put more than just champagne into those glasses... You’re suspicions are pretty much confirmed when you see Damien attempt a keg stand. Poker night continues as planned, the butler always nearby, ready to refill anyone’s glass. How many had you drank by now? Five? Or was it seven..... “YER CHEATIN, I CAN TELL” The man (who you later found was called Abe) yelled at you. Obviously this man had had too much to drink if he was accusing you of cheating. “Me? I wasn’t the one cheating mister, it was you. And I still won, so you can either bugger off or hand over my winnings” You replied haughtily. “What do ya mean I was cheatin?!” He yelled back, getting uncomfortably close to your face. You get out of your chair and shove him backwards. “It means that I saw all five of your aces in one hand you jackass.” “I AM THE LAW HERE BUDDY, I’VE GOT A -hic- BADGE TO PROVE IT” He pulls a napkin out of his pocket and throws it at your face. “Yeah uh... This is a napkin? And I’m the law technically, I’m a DA and you’re the clown dressed like a detective. I thought this was poker night, not a Halloween party.” That was probably the wrong thing to say, but everyone’s tongues are pretty loose right now. God knows how much everyone’s been drinking. -Oh, looks like his arm was loose too- You think as you fall to the ground. -Did he really just punch me in the jaw?- You struggle to keep your eyes open, your head hurts and you really just want to sleep right now. But Damien keeps patting your cheek and trying to talk to you, something about staying awake until hecangetsomethingorother...... Suddenly you’re sitting on a couch and Damien is pinching your arm, you try and push him away but you end up falling over instead. “Let’s get you to bed, alright Y/N? I don’t think you have a concussion, you should probably just sleep off your headache.” You giggle as he helps you up, he calls the butler over to help him get you to your room. Damien tucks you in and pats you on the head. “Sleep well, friend. I’ll see you in the morning.” He leaves and the butler turns out the light, as he closes the door, you hear him say “I know I won’t envy them in the morning.”

WOW THAT TOOK FOR EVER I seriously have so much respect for everyone who’s ever tried writing out a script, this shit is hard and it was technically already pre-written. I’l start working on the next chapter tomorrow! @the-septic-theory-squad @ego-protection-squad @egoimagines

[multi-fan-dom-madness]

JaxCon 2017

Wow. Just wow. I’ve not stopped internally screaming since I stepped foot in the hotel where the convention was being held. That feat becomes much more ridiculous the further away from JaxCon we get, but then again, I’m always screaming about something. So, without further ado, here’s how JaxCon 2017 went down in the eyes of a first-time conventioner. (Sidenote: what even is the term for a person who attends a convention? Is there a term? Because there should be if there isn’t already.) (Another sidenote: I have literally 13 other videos, one of which is Matt and Rob doing imitations, which is always hilarious, so if you want those just lemme know. Now keep reading :P )

THURSDAY

I went to this convention with my mom. It had been a high school graduation present for me last June, so for months and months I’d been dreaming about what it would be like, what would happen, who I’d meet, what I’d say. I can confidently say that no amount of daydreaming (or even dreaming in general) can prepare one for the atmosphere and the pace of a convention. We rolled into Jacksonville around 8 o’clock, but by some cruel twist of fate, we did not end up eating dinner until after midnight. Thank Chuck god for early registration. I went to bed after reading a mind-numbing 30+ pages of my Colonial America history textbook. Yay me.

FRIDAY

We were up early, on account of my need to take care of some homework before the weekend’s shenanigans got underway. But as soon as work was finished, we were ready to roll and boy, did things roll. After a quick exploration of the vendor hall, I made the spur-of-the-moment decision to buy photo ops with Rob and Richard (separate). My mom looked surprised, I guess because after all my antics about how much I love Lucifer, I went with God. Anyways.

As much as I love J2, I can proudly say that Rob and Richard made my top 5 favorite things of the con. Aside from being utterly adorable awesome, the men are geniuses. I mean, who else stands in front of a full convention hall and declares, “We love KoC!” (And if you don’t know how to pronounce it for whatever reason, it sounds exactly the way it looks.) Friday would also begin the weekend-long trend of referencing “lumbersexuality,” as well as the entire cast’s undivided support and admiration of the Women’s Marches occurring all over the country.

First panel of the day was the lovely Alaina Huffman (Abaddon). She’s so pretty!!! And funny!!! And amazing!!! Unfortunately, none of my photos of her came out any kind of decent, which really sucks, because she is really beautiful. She talked about her background in modeling and how she became an actress. But by far my favorite quote from her was:

“You guys write porn about us. It’s weird.”

Apparently she had either been sent or had found (I forget which) a fic in which Abaddon was with Dean, who was wearing a very nice pair of pink panties. Props to whoever wrote that.

Next up was Death himself, Julian Richings. Apparently none of my photos of him turned out decent, either. Regardless, I think the best part about his panel was his uncanny ability to sound like either Ron or Harry from Potter Puppet Pals depending on how he was talking. In his “I’m from England and this American stuff is all new to me!” bit, he sounds like Ron. When discussing why he gets cast as the “bad guy” in certain productions, he is able to imitate Harry as he lists the two things necessary for a villain: cheekbones and an accent.

He also told his concussion story, which apparently had kept Rich up the night before. I don’t have video of it, but if you can find it, it’s pretty hilarious. Long story short, he was running to catch a bus/trolley/some form of public transportation when he ran headfirst into one of those clear bus stop walls, knocking him over backwards. Forehead bleeding, concussed, a knot the size of an egg where he hit the glass. He’s a crazy old guy, but he’s got great energy. I admire that.

Jason Manns. Unf. What can I say about Jason Manns other than he was unexpectedly and wholly attractive and so sweet. He’s honestly such a nice guy. He told us how he tried using his Apple Watch to scan his airplane tickets. Someone said he was being hipster. He replied, “It would be hipster if I did it right. It was much more dad the way I did it.” Basically, he was trying to scan a ticket at the wrong gate, holding up a line of people, and only after about five minutes of confusion the airport people realized what was going on.

Someone asked him something about how he gets his lyrics/writing to be the way he wants them. The two things he said that stood out to me were:

“Art is not perfect.”

&

“Not trying to be perfect is the way to get it closest to perfect.”

Simple advice, really. Hard to put into practice, though.

He sang “Stand by Me” and then the question right after that was about what song he thought fit his life, and he said, “I wish you would’ve asked that before I played that song, but um, I’d like to think that Stand by Me would be that song for me.”

I got to ask him a question!!! Excitement!!! Here’s the gist of what happened: I asked what it was like working with Jared and Misha on the Christmas album a few years back. Jason explains that he enjoys collaborating with a lot of people and makes the point that those two are some of the busiest guys you’ll ever meet, so he had about two hours to record their songs. Ends with, “Somewhere in that long rambling attempt, did I answer your question?” Cutie. (I’d embed the video but Tumblr only allows for 5 videos. Sigh.)

He also sang two songs with Rob, but for whatever reason only one of the videos actually works, and it’s the better of the two songs anyways (in my opinion, at least), so enjoy that:

Oh, and as a follow-up type question to mine, someone else asked about the Christmas album as well. They wanted to know why he chose to switch the traditional gender roles in “Baby, It’s Cold Outside.” His answer?

“I think we can all agree it’s kind of a rape-y song.”

He also wanted to recreate the original scene that that song was choreographed to, but it never happened. There’s always hope, though!

Last came Gabe Tigerman, who was filling the space that Emily Swallow was supposed to be in. (Kinda bummed she didn’t get to make it, but hey, Gabe was hilarious so I guess it worked out alright.) He got asked if he would ever go on a ghost hunt with Chad Lindberg. He rejected the idea right away, because Chad is always talking about how he got scratched by like, a demon, “but it’s fun! You should come!” or how something followed Chad home, “but you should come!” Gabe was like, 

“I don’t like ghosts, and maybe that’s close-minded of me.”

On the subject of Chad - someone asked Gabe what he thought his character Andy’s personal heaven would be like. He started out describing a very Scooby-Doo-esque scenario in which Ash and Andy would just drive around heaven, and then it turned into a discussion of a fanfic he’d seen involving Ash and Andy (or Chad and Gabe, I don’t remember which to be honest). After about five minutes of recounting this fanfic experience, he stops and goes, “I just learned a lot about myself, wow.”

He also recounted his college road trip for us, which was one of the funniest stories I’ve heard in a while. If you haven’t heard it, go look it up. It’s about the world’s largest groundhog (which turned out to be the world’s largest groundhog statue) and the world’s only 5- and 6-legged cows. Seriously. Just YouTube it. I’m cracking up writing about it.

And that was it for Friday’s panels. But there were autograph signings by Richard, Gabe, Alaina, and Julian and we did those. Since they were pretty much on schedule that day, we got to have our autographs personalized. My name is kind of a weird one - Rhiannon - and at first I was only going to have them put “Rhi” simply because it’s easier to write, easier to spell, etc. But I changed my mind and put my full name.

Richard looked at it, started writing it, and when he got to the second “n” he freezes and goes, “Wait. Did I do that right? That’s a lot of n’s.” 

PSA: If you have not yet noticed, Rich has some of the most beautiful eyes I’ve ever seen, and that’s saying something because I’ve also seen Jensen’s eyes up close. Fuck, man. Sunlight through whiskey, indeed.

Anyways. Gabe looked at my name and held up a finger as he spelled it out. “R-H-I-A-N-N-O-N. Is that right?” The volunteer at the table asked my mom, who was behind me, where she wanted him to sign her thing. She said he could sign it wherever - hell, he could draw a flower for all she cared. He looked up and grinned and said, “Oh, you’re getting a flower.” And he drew one for her. 

Alaina didn’t even blink at my name, just wrote it out like she did it every day. She told us that her kids all have unique names, and that it was because of her ex-husband, but she was like, “Really, you want to give our kids weird names? Okay, John.” She’s so cute, I love her.

Julian looked at it and asked, “Is it Welsh?” My mom and I both answered that it was and he asked what it meant. My mom said something about how it means goddess, water nymph, witch - and that I embody every single one of those. (I’m flipping my hair right now. Bow before me, peasants, I am your goddess.)

After that we had a bit of a break, so we ate dinner and then sat around for like an hour and a half before the karaoke party started. Once it started, it was great. We had Matt Cohen and Rich dressed up quite hilariously-

And if you haven’t heard about it yet, this is where Matt’s moose knuckle comes into play.

His mustache kept falling off and he had glue running into his mouth, poor dude. He and Rich were great, though. They made all the karaoke participants run in front of the stage whenever there was an instrumental break in their song. They were joined by all the people who had panels that day, as well as Rob, Jason Manns, and his college buddy Hayden Lee. Look at these precious friends.

Somewhere in the midst of practically screaming the words to all the songs, I realized I had a much bigger crush on Rob than I originally thought. It was one of those odd moments where you can feel yourself slipping down the slope of “oh god they’re really great I love them” and I’m still sliding down that incline. I’ve had like five Louden Swain songs stuck in my head for the past couple days, send help.

Anyways. Somehow the people singing karaoke went from nice classic rock to Toxic and Hollaback Girl and shit like that. It was weird. But a good time.

SATURDAY

Explored the vendor hall some more after we had breakfast. I found this shirt-

which I thought was great. Should’ve got it - I was a Friday person - but I didn’t. Oh well. Next time. After the vendor hall we had to go sit in the ballroom for the opening bit by Rob and Rich. They talked a little about the Women’s Marches going on all across the country, but veered off course when Rich missed the second “r” in Rob’s name, calling him “Robbit.” (Rob replied by calling Rich “Richad.”) One of them mentioned the similarity to The Hobbit. They called the Shire “the Squire” and “Hobbitville” and said,

“We’re not the tallest guys but we are the tallest Hobbits.”

One of them (I think Rob? Correct me if I���m wrong) spoke as a Hobbit in a high voice. Rich was like, 

“In the new Trump America, Hobbits have high voices.”

They talked about deporting all the Hobbits in the country, building a wall around the Squire, etc. And then somehow the topic moved onto Rich’s ice cream van. If you can find a video of this, please please PLEASE watch it. Funny shit. My favorite interaction to come out of it, though, was:

Rich: I do have a van.

Rob: Don’t...don’t get in Richard’s van.

Rich continued the trend of calling Rob “Bobbo” which I will never ever let go of. If I ever get around to writing all the Rob fic ideas I have now, he’s being called “Bobbo” at least once in all of them. Sorry not sorry.

I don’t really remember much else from their introduction on Saturday except Rich proclaiming,

“We are all parishioners in the High Church of the Holy Dick!”

To which I had to “woot!” in agreement because, I mean, c’mon. I’m totally a part of that now.

Jim Beaver was the first panel of Saturday morning. According to him, the elixir of life is Dr. Pepper, which I wholeheartedly second. Early on, he was asked a question pertaining to what he was recognized most for, Bobby or some other character. He said,

“A lot of people recognize me from prison.”

And when everyone laughed:

“I used to do outreach programs, what did you think I meant?”

He was asked how he prepared for the scene where Bobby dies, and he said, “I just...pretended I was dying.” He also said that during that entire scene, Jared was twisting his toes so it was a bit difficult to act like he was dying when that was happening. Towards the end of his panel, someone asked him what he would rename vampires. His answer:

“What’s wrong with callin’ them vampires? ... Toothy fang buddies.”

So now that we have a new name for vampires, I expect you all to adjust your lives accordingly. Petition for Twilight to be remade specifically for the purpose of replacing every instance of the word “vampire” with “toothy fang buddy.” (I’m laughing at my own idea, but just imagine: “Say it. Out loud.” “A toothy fang buddy.” Dear god I crack myself up.)

After Jim, it was Mark Pellegrino. Though his entire panel was extremely entertaining, the only things I wrote down had to do with what Lucifer did in the cage with Sam, Adam, and Michael as well as pre-release. To the first one, Mark said that the last time he answered that question, he’d been attacked on Twitter for merely suggesting that they were all getting it on, basically. So he changed his answer to, “A perennial game of strip poker.” (Someone write the fic.) In answer to what Lucifer did before he was freed from the cage, he said,

“Whatever he was doing with the others, he did with himself. Take that however you want.”

Somewhere in the panel, someone asked him how they could go about showing that they were a Supernatural fan without looking like a Satanist. Mark basically told the person to think about what other people think and say, “Fuck ’em.” Middle fingers all the way. Who cares what they think? Solid advice.

After Mark went off-stage, there was a bit of a break during which Rob was signing some things and the Misha photo op was going on. I had that photo op, and it was my first one, and I honestly don’t remember much about it, but here’s what I do remember.

I remember going upstairs to the room where they had the photos set up. As soon as I saw Misha, that was it, I started freaking out almost as bad as the girl in front of me. But the closer I got, the more I calmed down, mostly because he’s really tall and I was so focused on that I forgot why I was nervous. Like, I’ve seen posts about how he’s actually a normal-sized human being but damn, you don’t realize just how tall he really is until you’re about 10 feet away from him, starstruck.

When it was my turn, I just kinda forced the words out past the residual nerves and asked, “Can we do back-to-back with our arms crossed?” He gave a little nod and that was that. I looked up at him right after and thanked him. (My internal monologue at this point was something like: “holy shit this is Misha Collins his eyes are sO BLUE WHAT THE FUCK.”) As soon as I walked away I started crying, but I calmed down pretty quickly. Here’s how that op turned out:

Right after that, we had to go back downstairs for Mark Sheppard’s panel. I knew going into it that he has the tendency to make fun of the people asking the questions, but my mom did not know and so the first person he messed with she looked at me like, “What the hell???” But Crowley is one of her favorites and she soon was in tears laughing so hard. Just some quick interactions:

Fan: What’s it like being the King of Hell? Mark: I don’t know, I’m an actor who plays him.

A fan in the crowd hands him a rose. Mark: *to the fan asking a question* Yeah, I got a rose, you can go home now.

A fan dressed as Castiel is asking a question. Mark interrupts to ask who they’re dressed as.  "Um ... Castiel?” “Who’s she?”

A fan has their question written on their phone. Mark looks at it and says, “Will Crowley ever be the King of Hell aga- go away.”

After a fan calls him pretty: “I haven’t been called pretty in a long time. But it’s nice, and I appreciate it.”

He also stopped to play with probably every baby in the room. He’s such a dad, it’s so cute. 

After that was another break, so we were going to eat lunch, but as we were walking through the vendor hall, Louden Swain came out to their table to do a quick acoustic performance. Jason Manns and Hayden Lee joined them. We got lucky; we were able to be at the front of the crowd, close to the table, so that was super cool. In order, the songs are called “Night Light,” “Revolution,” and “Stowaway.” Here’s the full performance:

Afterwards we were also lucky enough to catch Jason and he was kind enough to take a quick photo. Like I said, real sweet guy. Also very big and I mean that in the best way because he made me feel small and I could get used to that. I did get used to that, actually, by the end of the con. I’m 5′2″, I can’t really feel anything but small. But anyways, Jason was great and he’s adorable. 

Not long after that was my photo op with Rob. He’s such a cutie oh my dear lord. I was one of the first maybe 20 or 30 to take a photo with him. When it was my turn, I asked, “Can you hug me from behind?” He was like, “Yeah!” (So cute, ugh.) After, I turned and thanked him and he said, “Thank you.” Maybe had a hand on my back/shoulder? I don’t remember. I was freaking out too much. He’s seriously attractive and I still can’t handle it.

Next was the panel with Rob, Rich, and Matt. Very first question was about the train story, so we got a super abridged version of that. Someone else asked if they could do their impressions of each other.

My favorite part of their panel was when Rob was asked what he would do to Rich and Matt if he had God’s powers for a day. Someone suggested making them make-out. Rob laughed and then gave his answer. I didn’t get the full quote, but this is basically the gist of it:

“I’d make Rich my go-get-me guy. You know, like, I left my bag in my room, go get me it. ... And Matt, Matt would be my body guard. ... And then I’d make them make-out.”

Rob was also asked how God would come back to the show. He said, “Sam or Dean would be praying, and I’d just walk around the corner, eating a bowl of cereal in my boxer shorts. ‘You called?’”

Look at these cuties.

Misha was the last panel on Saturday.

I didn’t realize until making this post that Misha’s feet are off the ground. Dorks. Anyways, the four big things I remember from him are:

House lights come up. Misha looks out at the audience and says, “Wow, this is almost as many people as were at Trump’s inauguration.”

A man asked a question but started with, “She said she’d hit me if I didn’t come ask you this.” Misha went on to interrogate the man about his marriage to this “she” only to find out that the woman in question was the man’s daughter. Misha’s face was priceless.

He was asked which bad habit of his he didn’t want his kids to inherit. He went on a rant about technology, and as soon as he finished, his phone rang. It was his mother-in-law, but when he called her back she said she hadn’t tried to call. She was so cute to listen to.

Someone asked about his internship at the White House. He said he expected it to be much more political, but they had him licking stamps all day. He told us, “I remember thinking, ‘This isn’t fun, I don’t like licking stamps’ - which is not entirely true. They’re kinda tasty.”

Me too, Misha, me too.

After that was my photo op with Rich. I was a little less nervous for this one than the previous two, but I mean it’s Richard Speight, Jr. of course I was excited. I got up to him and said, “Hi!” He said, “Hi, how ya doing?” to which I replied, “Good! Can you hug me from behind?” (I’m so original, I know.) He was like, “I sure can!” And like the other two, I thanked him afterward and he said thank you as well, one hand on my back. Squee!

As soon as that was done, we headed back downstairs for the next round of autographs: Mark Sheppard, Matt, Misha, and Mark Pellegrino. These went quick, because they were running a little behind schedule, so no personalization on these, sadly., except from Pellegrino Mark Sheppard asked me if I was having fun, to which I replied, “Yes! Very much fun.” There’s that wonderful English I was talking about earlier. Matt said he was going to take his two year-old to Disney Land in Cali. Misha didn’t say anything. Straight faced the entire time. Was a little unsettling. But I suppose that’s Misha. Mark Pellegrino was super nice. The woman in front of me shared a name with his mother, and my mom was like, “I bet no one in your family has her name” (”her” meaning mine). He kinda laughed and said, “Nope.” He wrote “Love you!” on it but at first I thought it was “fuck you!” and honestly I would’ve been happy either way.

We finally ate dinner. And then it was the Saturday Night Special with Louden Swain. We all got kazoos and glow sticks! We also raised over $5,000 just in the ballroom alone, for a total of more than $70,000 overall. It was nuts. When Misha announced it towards the end of the show, he got quiet and went, “Holy shit.” The show itself was amazing. I’m just going to put a few of the videos, but know that they also sang “No Time Like the Present,” “Whipping Post,” “Fare Thee Well,” “Wagon Wheel,” “Juliet,” “Amazing,” and some others (not in that order but you get the idea). The only thing I will say is that between songs, someone yelled that Rob gives good hugs. He asked, “What was the question? Free hugs?” The fan repeated their statement and Rob grinned really big and said, “Oh! Thank you. I- I like to give hugs.” Could he be any friggin’ cuter? (The answer is yes. So much yes.)

Superman - Rob and Rich

She Waits - such raw emotion from Rob. He’s a beautiful singer. Fuck. (Sidenote: after this song he got really quiet and got that 50-yard stare and I just. I love him. Precious man.)

Medicated - ft. the best kazoo solo ever (please listen to all the comments Rob makes because they’re hilarious. And so are Rich and Pellegrino trying to smoke their kazoos. This is also where the “Goddammit I love you” comes from.)

And that was the end of our Saturday night! Well, sort of. I'm pretty sure when we got back to our room I went and read some fanfiction, and my mom was like, “What are you reading?” After a long pause, I answered, “Fanfiction.” I read a bit more and then my mom told me to go to bed and said something about it being weird that I was reading porn in the same room as her. I believe her exact words were, “That’s kind of fucked up.” In my defense, only one of the five quick fics I read were porn, as she put it.

SUNDAY

First thing Sunday morning was the J2 Gold Panel. And yes this is when Jensen was asked the Destiel question, I don’t wanna talk about it, don’t ask me about it, just stop with it. It happened, now move on.

Jensen said that on set, whenever Jared doesn’t want to laugh out loud, he just hums. Straight up hums.

Someone asked them what Jared and Jensen would tell Sam and Dean and what Sam and Dean would tell Jared and Jensen. Jared replied, “As Jared, I’d tell Sam that there’s probably some demons in Hawaii. And as Sam, I’d tell Jared to watch out for Ruby.” Jensen answered, “As Dean, I’d tell Jensen to enjoy his blissful domestic life. As Jensen, I’d tell Dean to oil the freakin’ hinges on the car doors.”

I think after that was the Jensen photo op. I was shaking before I even got in line for it. As soon as I got in the room and saw him I started to tear up, but I held it together. About 60 seconds before it was my turn I decided I was just going to hug him - and I planned to say that - but once I stepped up next to him all I managed was, “Hi!” Damn his hair. Damn his height. Damn his eyes which were more hazel than green thanks to the shirt he wore. Just damn him. I don’t remember much except he was warm. I don’t even remember if I said thank you. As soon as I walked away, that was it, I started sobbing. Full on sobbing, with big fat tears and everything. Cried for probably half an hour, not gonna lie. He’s a beautiful human being.

lOOK AT HIS TONGUE THOUGH OMG.

Once I calmed down, I redid my make-up and then we walked the vendor hall one more time so I could get a Louden Swain t-shirt (and also bought their new album, No Time Like the Present - go listen to it, it’s great). Not long after that was my photo op with Jared. I was less nervous for this one - must have gotten it out of my system after Jensen. Jared was so cute. And so, so, so very tall. When it was my turn I asked him, “Can you use me as an armrest, for the height difference?” He was like, “Yeah!” I managed to sneak in a quick hug right after and good GOD his back muscles, you guys. So firm, so defined. Anywho, this was my favorite op of the weekend.

He’s so tall that his knee is bent even with his arm on my head. Amazing.

Right after that we ran back downstairs for the Louden Swain autograph signing and I talked to Rob!!! He’s so cute!!! No hesitation, I said, “I’m writing a story about you for my creative writing class.” He said, “Oh really?” and I was like, “Well, not you, more like God, but same difference, right?” My mom jumped in with, “She’s meeting you in an elevator.” I stepped to the side at this point as he had passed along the CD they were all signing, didn’t catch what he said (or even realize he said something until I noticed he was still looking at me). “Pardon?” I asked. He said, “That’s a good idea. Good luck!” and wINKED and I still haven’t come back to life from that yet. I’m a ghost now. He’s so goddamn pretty. Such blue eyes and a cute smile and I just. *buries face in hands*

Anyways. Jim Beaver had a Sunday panel. Here’s some of what stuck with me:

“I write pretty well when I get around to writing.”

(on kissing Mark Sheppard) “...it was like kissing a dirt sandwich with stubble. No, it was the most romantic day of my life. ... I don’t lose as much sleep over it as Mark Sheppard does. I’m not as needy as he is.”

“You’re asking me to be creative up here, which is more than I’m willing to do.”

(after answering about a Bobby and Rufus spin-off) “You guys would be there for an episode about a can of corn that was in an episode.”

“I really hate to disagree with the current administration, but there is actually a thing such as facts.”

After Jim, it was Jared and Jensen’s main panel. 

Honestly the main things that stuck with me from this were that “Pudding!” was written as Sam's line, and that the grenade launcher scene wasn’t scripted. 

Oh, and we sang Happy Birthday to Clif after the last question.

Mark Sheppard’s Sunday panel was the last thing before autograph signings. I was working on homework for most of this panel (and by homework I mean my God story), so the only things I caught were:

“Lumbersexual? Sounds like a back issue.”

&

“Word of the Day: Lumbersexual.”

After that Rob and Stephen sent us home and then the only thing left was the J2 autograph signings.

Oh, boy. We got Jensen first, and now that I had a little more time (because they really do rush you through the photo ops) it really hit me just how goddamn pretty he is. Obviously he’s an attractive guy, but in person? With the hair and the jawline and the lips and the eyes? Some lucky person ahead of us in line got the full force of the lip bite. Oh, to be that fortunate. Sigh.

Anyways. We get up there, in front of him, and after he asked how we were doing, my mom said something along the lines of, “I just wanted to thank you, because this show is the reason she is who she is, and her dad hasn’t always been the best dad, but you guys have kind of been like stand-in fathers for her.” She was tearing up and I just nodded in agreement and Jensen was smiling so soft at both of us - smile lines in full effect (did I mention he’s pretty?). I jumped in here and gestured to her crying and said, “She wouldn’t stop making fun of me earlier for not being able to say anything but ‘hi’ at the photo op.” That made him laugh and he looked at my photo and was like, “Look at that smile though!” Then he looked back up and grabbed my hand (*internal screaming intensifies*) then my mom’s and said that he loves hearing stories like that from fans. And that was that.

When we finally got up to Jared my mom had calmed down - like me, she got it out of her system. I had two things I wanted Jared to sign: my photo op with him, and this:

It was a chalk piece I did at a local street painting festival in February 2016, and I got so many compliments on it just for the quote alone. So I stepped up to the table and the first thing Jared said was, “I like your shirt.” I handed the AKF photo to him to sign and he got this big grin on his face and asked, “What’s that?” My mom and I both were like, “That’s you!” He said, “I know that, but what is it?” I explained what it was, then gave him a smaller version of it, saying, “That one’s for you to keep.” He looked at it, looked at me, and said, “Wow. This is amazing. You’re amazing.” Gave me a high five (his hands are so huge, damn). My mom said, “You’re amazing” and Jared replied with, “Well, that’s only because I get to be around amazing people all day.” He put his copy of the photo in a little box with other things people had given him, then when he turned back around he grinned again and said, “Fuck that’s cool.”

So he signed the AKF one, then my mom again explained the impact both he and Jensen have had on me and how “she fell in love with the show and the characters and then with you as people and as fathers, because her father isn’t always around.” Jared said, “Well thank you for being part of the family.” I was like, “No thank you.” Because seriously, without them, none of this would be possible as a fandom. Then he went to sign my photo op and said, “Now I feel bad for putting my arm on your head.” We laughed and said it was perfectly fine.

My mom asked real quick if he could write out “always keep fighting” for the tattoo I’m going to be getting, and the people at the table were like, “You only had two autographs” or whatever but Jared immediately said, “No I’ll write it. My handwriting is horrible, though.”

And that was it. I’m still overwhelmed by it all. Meeting them has been my dream for years. It doesn’t really feel real. But hey, Jared said I’m amazing and Jensen held my hand and Rob winked at me (and liked my tweet!!!), so I’m happy. Can’t wait to see what surprises the next go-round brings. But until then, stay lovely.

(If you’ve made it this far, congrats! I apologize for the ridiculous length. But while I have you here, if you have any fic ideas/requests, my inbox is always open.)

[survivor-all-stars-blog]

Rites of Passage

For the past 58 days you have been battling it out with other All-Stars to earn the title of Sole Survivor. It has not always been easy and it has not always been fun but the four of you made it here and 21 other players did not. No matter what method you used to get here, getting here is an accomplishment and we commend you all on that.

But right now is not about you, right now is about the 21 people who started this journey with you but had it cut short. Let us take this time to reflect on the players who did not make it to this point.

Wes: I hope everything is alright with you man.  You were fun to host in the past so I was hoping to play with you but the stars didn't align I guess. :/

Jimmy: Being my first fellow Aussie that I got to play with, already a ripper of a bloke in my books. It was good to be able to chuck out some banter about Melbourne and bogans to each other because we don’t normally get the chance to do that around these parts. It's mega shame you had some things going on in real life because it would have been awesome to have you round for a wee bit longer!

Jack: From the moment we talked I thought we were going to be best friends. Shame that you sort of “disappeared” because I had heard many good things about you and your game style!

MJ: I hope you had fun at summer camp!

Well. So, ah...huh. Apparently, these all stars? Not as, ah...not as greedy as I thought. So, uh, yeah.  That's, well.

Wes: Your gamble with taking the idol clue showed that you were here to go balls to the wall from the get go and I can respect that. 

Jimmy: Really enjoyed chatting to you early on even though it was brief. You were a real chill dude and I found it super easy to carry on a conversation with you. It was a bummer you made an early that cost you your game, but I was pulling for you to scrape through at the time. Fun fact, I've picked up a trivia hosting gig myself and will be hitting you up for some pro tips 

Jack: We only had one conversation but you were really nice!

MJ: He was a fighter.

Tumblr survivor doesn't work for me guess I'm only a one hit wonder

Wes: I was sad when you got voted out, considering you were the winner of the first season I ever hosted. I wish you had been able to make it further and have some more fun this season.

Jimmy: My lovely friend Emma! I told you this but one of the most exciting things about the reveal was watching your video and hearing that adorable accent of yours. I’m glad we were able to come in as Easter mates, but it's a darn bugger you got double-whacked early on, would have loved to have you round more. It's was awesome to catch up and it definitely makes me want to hit yourself and the whole Easter squad up a bit more so thanks for that!

Jack: You leaving the game was an unfortunate result of Andaman just outright sucking at tiebreakers and it honestly sucks that it had to happen. 

MJ: Ugh. You were supposed to be the only two time u'annimous winner. :(

I think y'all are the best tumblr hosts and this was a great game... I was going through personal things in life and I was very overwhelmed with everything. No disrespect to the game at all. I'm still never been voted out :)

Wes: I don’t really have anything nice to say about you.  

Jimmy: We played together in my very first game and we didn't get along particularly well over there. That clearly translated over to here because you were the only one not to hit me up this game. Congrats on keeping your 'not voted out' record I guess, although I don’t particularly think quitting is truly victorious way of keeping it.

Jack: I mean if you didn’t quit maybe you would have made it far, I don’t know. 

MJ: I'm glad we got to talk before you quit... It would've really been nice to actually work with you though!

Well it was an absolute honor to get chosen to play in allstars, I wish I lasted longer but there are some TRIFLING BITCHES IN THE WORLD!! It's okay though, I made sure to curse all of them now there's just one left x Good luck everyone <3 also jack can I get ur abi maria url?

Wes: You’re one of the few people in this season that I don’t really know.  I hope, if you want to, you get another shot at returning so you can make it further.

Jimmy: Somewhat of an enigma to me in this game. We chatted a fair bit at the start which I really liked, but once the game moved along you disappeared and I wouldn't hear from you for ages. My favourite memory of you will be in one of the many many tie-breakers we needed you to come on and confirm our choice and you just weren't on. The whole tribe was messaging the tribe chat "JC!", "JCCCCCCC" which reminded me of the absolutely hilarious moment in Gabon when GC went missing on the boat. Other than that, I can’t say we shared to many moments.

Jack: I am glad you brought back the story of me picking you in the Uncharted draft because your avatar was Abi-Maria and I like Abi-Maria. We didn’t talk much after but I appreciate that one moment!

MJ: You deserved better... Wish we didn't have to boot you when we did.

I don't really have anything to say except that I'm playing my ashy idol

Wes: I’ll never know if you actually wanted to work with me or not, but the things you would tell me compared to what I heard from you via other people proved that I couldn’t trust you very much.

Jimmy: mad respect for you Jessy! You were an absolute legend, reading back over our convos was a blast relieving some the most food-related chats going around. You were also a bloody fighter as well and sure didn't make life easy when you were chucked in a shit stick position. Many people were sad to see you go, and while I understood those feelings I'm glad it was a short time I had to deal with your valiant shenanigans! 

Jack: I’m sad Triple J 2.0 couldn’t have a solid reunion but I remember why I still love talking to Jessy! You’ve been a solid player/person since the BBTC days (throwback right?) and I’m sorry the cards didn’t play out in a way where I could continue to work with you! 

MJ: Ugh......... I love you so much... I literally had so much fun with you the round you left. I wish everything would've worked out, but I'm glad you at least had fun playing that last day.

I had to think if it was really worth it, but after that I remembered, this is AllStars. I might be a trainwreck, and i might be a bit of a clueless mess, but so was I in UI and Sicily, and i almost won one of those and sicily, even tho there were much better people, i think i did pretty great. There's always a chance to turn shit around, and i just hope i can actually do it. Wish me luck at the challenge, because i refuse to go down without a fight

Wes: You weren’t afraid to take a stand against your opponents and I majorly respect that.

Jimmy: Yeah we never particularly clicked either. It took a while to get chatting and even then, you weren't around too much. Was cool to meet someone from Venezuela but other than that I don't think we had too much going.

Jack: Thank you for being a very honest person to me. I appreciated every conversation that we shared throughout this game!

MJ: He was a fighter.

I had a lot of fun in this game and while I wish I could have gone further I did really enjoy my time here! Congrats to the final 4 and thank you to the hosts for casting me and putting together a great game

Wes: Samantha McCanada told me you were awesome, but I never got to really meet you in game!

Jimmy: just from talking to you a bunch this game I learned you're definitely someone with a real big heart, particularly for animals. One thing that really stood out for me while chatting away with you is that even though we rarely shared an interest we were still able to go on and on about any old thing. You're a really sweet person and I'm glad I was one of the ones you talked to the most ☺

Jack: My KPOP Buddy!! I’m glad I had someone to talk about KPOP with, even if it wasn’t something we did all the time. Thank you for telling me that some boy groups/songs are okay and trust me I have realized (Spring Day? Shook!)

MJ: She was a fighter.

I'm proud of how I played in all stars, hell I'm still surprised I got cast. Good luck to the meninist final 4!

Wes: I only know you by reputation, but I suspect you would have been a serious threat down the line.

Jimmy: my good mate Gage! I hope you received your thumb in good nick lol. Definitely one of best lads going around this game - loved chucking around banter, always a good time and not backing away from taking chat down a weird road! Your exit was a shit time, amplified by me very deep into Australia Day celebrations, and my last drunken proclamations summed it up pretty well lol! Would have absolutely loved if you were able to stick around longer but I’m keen to kick back and have a chat soon ☺

Jack: You were very easy to talk to and I enjoyed having your company!

MJ: He was a fighter.

The so-called HOSTING STAFF has been slandering me for YEARS. Their twists and tribe swaps were planted to make me look bad! Sad! You know, I’ve talked to fans, and I have many fans, and they’ve all said I’m the bigliest All-Star to ever play. Blame the CROOKED media and their alternative facts for my poor placement!

Wes: Speaking of reputation.  I’ve never seen a group of people so fiercely want someone voted out before.  You’re the epitome of a wild card in this game and I feel like a lot of people felt seriously threatened by that.

Jimmy: Mr Summers, the biggest tragedy of this game is that we couldn't get ourselves together and get a twinsie pick of our Superman onesies *cue tear*. It was real cool to finally be in a game with my pal Matt even though our game time was fairly limited to a couple of tribals. Keep hitting us up on Snapchat and chucking banter at me for being straight.

Jack: I’m really mad we were never on a tribe together because I never got to experience what it is like to play with MATT FUCKING SUMMERS. I hope you’re having a good time at college and we gotta update each other on our boy endeavors!

MJ: Our games never really aligned and probably never would have. Sucks that such a massive force like yourself had to go sort-of early, but it was definitely best for my game.

This was something else, huh. At the end of the day I'm glad I got to be a part of it, even if it wasn't for as long as I'd liked. I hope everyone remembers that it's just a game! Thanks for a kind of fun time.

Wes: You have a massive reputation and you always seem to do extremely well in the games you play.  You would have been a massive threat if you were allowed to make it into the late game.

Jimmy: I'd like to say that you definitely were a real intimidating player. You seemed to be popping up in conversations about organising votes and were a real top notch guy with a bunch of connections. Going against you is the first real move I've made in any game I've played, and even then, it took a couple of go's to get the final blow. So you've got a lot of my respect for being a bit of a beast and props for being just a real good dude (despite the fact you got 0 of my sport references, but at least you gave it a go) 

Jack: We talked a total of two times in this game so I apologize for a lack of effort on my part. I hope you’re doing well! 

MJ:

I can't believe I got booted without making a confessional, what a tragedy. C'est la vie, I guess. Anyways, everyone left is gay now because they're on the rainbow tribe. I don't make the rules.

Wes: You are honestly one of the best people ever and I can see why people would have wanted you out from a game perspective but it didn’t make it any less sad seeing you get voted out. :(

Jimmy: Easily the best attitude towards playing this game and our stalemate call at the tie was probably one of the funniest moments I've had this game. You were a joy meeting and I feel I've learned from you this game just about being a more cheery and considerate dude. A big ole beacon of fun times you were! It’s bummer you got done because I would have really enjoyed getting the chance to have a go at merge with you there.

Jack: Probably one of my biggest pre merge regrets is not talking to you more. Thank you for telling me to go to bed for a couple of nights in the game! I never listened, but it's the thought that counts. 

MJ: I would have really loved to work with you long-term, but my hand was forced the round you went. I'm glad we at least got to be on the same page for a couple of tribals though! The Logi-Wan Kenobi gif might be one of the best products of this season as well.

Survivor All Stars was full of fun surprises! My goal was to not be the first boot and making jury was the icing of the cake! I'm proud of the game I played and I've loved every moment this season. Good luck to the ones that made it to the end!

Wes: The first victim of this game’s stupid Fiji-ish twist.  I didn’t see a situation where we were going to reconcile after you took out one of my lives in the premerge, and we never really talked about it afterwards.  It was kind of the elephant in the room and we ended up voting for each other again here. You had the willpower to earn yourself four lives in this game and I guarantee if you had made the end you would have had an amazing story to tell.

Jimmy: - If Logan easily has the best attitude, then Ruthie easily is the kindest soul. At first I didn't really know what you were about - we didn't talk too much, I just thought you were an extremely nice lady that was up super early and up for a chat. It wasn't until I got the sweetest out-of-the-blue message about ignoring people if they were salty about nabbing the advantage because at least I was honest with it. At 4am that was exactly what I needed to hear and from that moment on I was a mega Ruthie fan! I couldn't have been more stoked when you won your way back into both games like a boss and awesomely grabbed a jury spot! You're a legend in my books and all the props to you!

Jack: The girl with 4 lives! Definitely the sweetest person on this cast. Even if our conversations weren’t consistent, they were fluid and we could keep up the same conversations for like a week over the course of many hours. Mad respect for winning the double comeback challenge, you really proved that you dedicated yourself to this game and I loved that. 

MJ: I wish you hadn't gone at the tribal that you did, but I didn't want to get too involved with business that wasn't really mine. We had some nice chats along the way though, and since I made it this far, I guess I'll let you have Darren Criss.

Worth a shot, eh? :P I'm so grateful I got to play! Really wish I got back in to stir something up! It was quite the shituation but that's life, you gotta dig through a lot of shit before you find something good.

Wes: Voting you out felt really shitty.  I can understand if you feel betrayed and upset by me.  The only thing I can offer you is that I feel like we both really wanted to survive that garbage twist and I did what I needed to do to overcome it.  I hope you can believe me when I say I would have not wanted to vote you out if two-thirds of the people that made merge weren’t all immune.

Jimmy: Stevo, my saviour from Easter! Super surprised to see you giving this game a crack, just didn't expect to see you in same game as me again. But I was bloody stoked that I'd be able to check in and see what you've been up to over the past year. Like I told you in the game, I owe all success and good times I've had in Tumblr Survivor post-Easter due to you being a top-notch dude and giving me the chance to play, so I was more than ecstatic that I'd be able to repay the favour along the line. Your last ditech attempts in this game were confusing, but way to go out in glory. Very much look forward to St Paddy's Day to hear from another gloriously trashed Stevo! 

Jack: Not gonna lie, you kinda scared me for a moment when you lied about your idol. I was thoroughly convinced that it was a real thing. It is probably the one lie in this game I can say I completely fell for, no joke. It’s a shame it didn’t work out but you played it very well and I think if the circumstances were different, it could have worked out! 

MJ: He was a fighter.

thanks for letting me play hosties (heart) btw, jessy and jake were robbed! (buy green light on iTunes)

Wes: I didn’t get to know you super well, and I think a lot of people didn’t know what to make of you and felt threatened by your unpredictable disposition, myself included.

Jimmy: I found you to be really hard to talk to this game. Not sure if it was an age thing or not, but yeah, constantly found us not finding things in common or talking about how bored you are with school. Even found a streak of a week where you didn't reply so can't say we had too much of a connection. You seem like a cool cat and it's a bummer we weren't able to hit it off. Credit to give where credit is due though – a great effort for making it to merge with two lives, because we all know that wasn’t easy. 

Jack: The keyboard smash king! You never really spoke to me in sentences that had more than 4 words but I kind of enjoyed the change of pace compared to everyone else so thank you for that!

MJ: I still feel sort-of bad about how your tribal went down. It sucked having to lie to you and act like I didn't know what was going on. I feel like we did grow close during our time together though and I had a blast talking to you everyday. You should be proud of your game, and I think had you not gone when you did, you could've slid all the way to the end and been part of some really crucial votes along the way. Hopefully we can be friends after the game!

i had a blast. i made it 28 days. i made it past the merge um im happy. i am content and i went out with a great win and i went out as team captain for my team today and… y’know… im just… im really happy im content im in a pleasant place and i have absolutely no regrets.i feel like i owe nobody an apology, not even mySELF. im PROUD. um.. in saying that i apologize for something means that i have regrets and i have no regrets whatsoever. i made it far. i made it 28 days and i didn’t even think that i was gonna make it THAT far.. soo… to say that i did that is a hell of an accomplishment for me.. and… im just…. im happy to say that.. that i was ON survivor.. and that i went to nicaragua.. and… it’s truly a blessing!

Wes: On a purely game-related leveI think we were always going opposed to each other.  I’m not sure if you felt the same way, but I felt that we just wouldn’t have room for each other in our plans.  I respect your gameplay immensely though, and it’s been really cool to see just how great of a player you have become since your days in season 5, Redemption Island.

Jimmy: Gees we had a weird run, at the start it was all cool and we ended up getting chucked on the same tribe which was awesome. Then things got weird after the whole Jessy fiasco and we both sort of just left each alone until merge where I thought we better get our shit together. I appreciated we didn't end on a shitty note because I thought you were awesome guy! Still stoked I received the out-of-the-blue half selfie on one of your drunken adventures lol 

Jack: I hope you believe that when you went home, I was really REALLY trying to save you. Genuinely I wanted to repay you for screwing you over multiple time throughout the course of this game. I was drawing out football plays on my whiteboard just trying to get people to listen but it was to no avail. Just know what I tried to do for you changed the duration of how the game was played out and you were a very important player. I hope you don’t hate me even though I’m a snake and I hope we can be friends. 

MJ: Bich........... I cannot even put into words how much fun I had with you this time around. I'm so glad this season sucked so much for you that you had to work with ME of all people <3. Turns out you leaving at final 10 was a mistake for everyone, though, so i think you should have some pride in that! But seriously, I had a blast legitimately working with you this time around, and I wish we could've gone all the way together.

Throughout this game, I wasn't me. I was a still-life trapped in eternity. I was a focal point, out of focus, out of ink. But it had some fun moments.

Wes: Goddammit Pat.  Playing this game with you was a blast and you’re one of the best allies I’ve ever had.  I don’t really know what happened but I felt like you sort of drifted away, or you ended up thinking a different way forward was better for you, but I can’t help but feel like you kind of fell of your own sword at the end, from my perspective at least.  I’m looking forward to talking to you more after this game is over.

Jimmy: Pat is just a downright dude. We regularly just had good chats, like you'd easily fit in with the fellas I hang out with while drinking a beer. Had some of the best convos with you over the last two months. Game wise, you sprung up as a bit of a powerhouse, had your fingers in a lot of pies and you were doing it really well. You played a killer game man and I'm pretty glad you're not still around for that reason. Looking forward to one day being able to sit down and share some blokey tales over a couple of pints! 

Jack: Your vote out honestly shaped how the rest of the game turned out. I loved every call that we had together, ever since the original Andaman tribe. While you never joined the opening tribe call I made sure that I became friends with you because my mom always said good things about you!. Through Survivor Maryland and how Andaman played out, I knew you and I were going to be close. Although my schedule at times made it difficult to keep up with the viewings just know that I wish I could have kept up with them. I hope we can finish Maryland Outback after this game is over and continue being friends! 

MJ: Blindsiding you the first time was fun, but the second time was so, so much better. ;) In all seriousness, I really, really wish we started this game on the same tribe, because I feel like lots of things would've gone differently this season. We were definitely like two ships in the night that just, sailed past each other. As always though, you should be incredibly proud of yourself and the game that you played. There's a reason you're always considered one of the biggest threats.

When I came into this season I didn’t feel like I belonged amongst all these big names, and I still don’t, it was exhausting to even attempt to keep up with them….but I still tried and to be fair, I surprised myself that I made it this far like, whoda thunk it seeing me get voted out in episode 4 but still making it well into merge, only to get double idoled out, like what a freaking journey, now all I hope is that I made my friends proud and thanks hosts for giving this flop a chance <3 Thanks for the Golden Apple btw and Love to my Aeolian and Myanmar fam I did this for you <3

Wes: Steffen, you’re a really awesome person and I love that we were able to move past the stuff that happened premerge (like that one time you voted me out) and become friends.  I still laugh about some of the conversations we had and how over-the-top awkward they were sometimes, and being able to end up working together despite it.  I was hoping you’d go far in this game too, but people saw that you were a threat to win, no doubt about it.

Jimmy: One of the reasons I keep putting myself through these games is because I meet champion people, and Steffen is no exception, but rather a shining example. Immediately off the bat we hit it off and I’m stoked to be able to make a mate out of this. We had the best convos that would last for ages and you'd hang around late just for a chat which I really came to appreciate most. It took ages for us to finally be in the same vote and even then, we only just stumbled our way to achieving working together at least once. Definitely stoked we met this game and I'm keen to make it on your Tumblr Survivor wall soon as you pop on over for a visit! 

Jack: Steffen, you know there are a million reasons why you’re very important to me (Am I going to announce them publicly? Nah…but you know!) Just know that your constant paranoia and your quirky charm really sparked the fun back into the game for me when I was hitting that rough patch in my life. Thank you so much for that and I’ll talk to you soon!

MJ: I had so much fun w you this season faking a showmance in the main chat. Good times. I wish we could've actually had our movie date, but if ur still open to it, we can after the season ;) Also, congrats on going out at the craziest tribal council this season. Wear that badge with pride.

It's bad karma to give someone the same placement twice, now matter how iconic it is, so just let that fester for a second. That being said, the real tragedy of this season was there not being a 'most fake' category during Touchy Subjects. Good game, good luck, good night Tumblr Survivor.

Wes: There were a bunch of people that told me how happy they would be to vote for you to win if you were able to make it to the finals.  I always felt that you were silently waiting for the perfect time to strike with a huge power move.  Though, I couldn’t help but feel like you didn’t like me very much, and didn’t want to talk to me the (admittedly few) times I tried to.  I hope I’m wrong, at least on a personal level?  Anyhow, we were both on opposing sides of the field and we both were loyal to the people that helped us get to where we were, and I deeply respect that about you.

Jimmy: It's not true what they say about Jenn being a pile of shit, she's not that bad - just a piece of shit. Na Jenn's a downright legend and there's no doubt about it. Had absolutely no clue you were going to be playing this and I was mixture of shocked, surprised and stoked when you popped up in the reveal. Having you around definitely made me feel more comfortable kicking back into Survivor-mode after a bunch of time off, and trying to do new things. Who else was going to be my ranting buddy? You've been the best ally and my best friend around here, more than what I would have thought was possible to gain in playing these online games. Extremely happy to have a last hurrah together! Come your Australia trip it's going to be a riot and very much look forward to the day when I can give you a big ole bear hug to thanks for it all <3

Jack: Jenn! One of the nicest people I think I have ever played a game with, and I mean that genuinely. When we were working together, I had a blast. All of our calls were something I was looking forward too and unfortunately, it came down to the point where you were a serious threat in this game, and I could no longer ride it out with Triple J 3.0. I am glad that I was on call with you when it happened because that was probably some of the best sportsmanship I have seen in a game ever!

MJ: I truly had a great time playing with you this season. You were loyal, yet always ready to make a move against those you weren't closest to. You're by far one of the most skilled players I've ever played with, so I'm glad I got the chance to play with you, and at times, against you. My favorite round this season was the one Pat left, because despite you wanting me out, and me wanting Kait out the previous round, we managed to pull ourselves back together and make a huge move just a couple of days later. A player like yourself really enhances the experience of a season like this. I really do feel like we were able to grow at least somewhat closer to each other throughout this experience, and I hope you feel the same way.

this was fun, then it wasn't. remember not to be a piece of shit to your friends and always look cute. regardless, another sixth place isn't that cute of a look but it is what it is. hello "retirement" i'm poppin bottles now!!!!!!

Wes: Holy shit. You are a frightening player to go up against.  You’re definitely one of the best players in the community, and you were able to keep extremely loyal allies very deep into this game despite how huge of a player you were.  I did enjoy talking to you when we did, even though it awkwardly never turned into much about game strategy.  I definitely knew I had no place in your game plans and you probably felt the same way about me.  

Jimmy:   Kait mate, finally after a year we could actually have each other's back in a game. I meant it when I told you that the most promising and exciting aspect of this game was getting to Dream Team with yourself and Jenn. I was getting to trio up with a pair of the most amazing women around these parts and I was given a crack at lifting myself up to your standards. And while undoubtedly we had ups and downs between us with a couple of fights and disagreements occurring, it was still a blast being in the #MalaysiaCult gg Jenn/Jimmy/Kait! Look very much forward to the time we finally get our shit together and get smashed on call for a Family Drinking Night <3

Jack: Kait, Kait, Kait. You are probably one of the smartest people in this game, mostly because you can sense my bullshit from the minute I open my mouth and you made it really tough for me to maneuver through this game! I have no ill feelings towards you and I hope we can reunite Malaysia after the game!

MJ: Don't really know what to say here considering you removed me as a contact on Skype, so I don't really think you'd even want a Rites of Passage from me. But at any rate, playing with you is fun, and at times frustrating, but overall you're one of the main reasons why I've enjoyed this experience so much. I'd really hope that you understand that this entire time, I've been doing what was best for me and gives me the best shot at getting to the end with a case for myself. I would have loved to go to the end with you, but I never imagined a scenario where a jury would reward my gameplay or approach to the game over yours. Thanks for playing your idol on me, standing up for me, and valuing me as an ally. And although I ultimately turned my back on you, you were easily the second most valuable person to my game. If you feel like I crossed the line in this game and choose not to be my friend when this is all over, that's fine and I completely understand, but I really hope that that's not the case, and I would hope that the friendship we have transcends the decisions that either of us made in this game.

I mean..... lol I tried? I had a lot of fun this game even until the very last few seconds. While I can say I think I made more mistakes than anyone, I got a chance to play a completely different way than I ever have before. Playing from the bottom up is...an experience and I learned a lot. All of us earned the title of All Star and proved that these last few months, we should all be proud. I think the hosts all did an amazing job hosting two seasons at once and torturing us all juuuust the right amount, so I want to make sure I thank them.

Wes: Is there even such thing as a more iconic dynamic duo?  If you would have told me we would have become close allies with you again I would have laughed, but I loved being able to play with you again.  I loved our strategy calls where we would call each other idiots for some of the ideas we had or things we did.  I loved playing Slither.io even after we didn’t have to for immunity anymore.  I loved when we all came together on Thotse and came up with a way to get through that tribal without actually turning against each other.  I loved getting you to fucking waste an idol on me even after how I royally betrayed you in our first game together.  I loved being able to give away individual immunity a second time to save you this time instead of screwing you over.  My only regret is that I couldn’t do more for you.  This game would have been a lot less fun without you. Thanks.

Jimmy: I think you got the roughest deal of them when it came to being my mate. As it was with Steffen, I'm really happy to have met you this game and you're very much a legend to me! I really enjoyed our calls where we could slip in and out of important stuff while chucking in banter and smack talk at each other on the reg. I think you did an amazing job this game - you regularly got the rough end of the stick (regularly with me playing part) but you still managed to tough it out to gain an extremely respectable 5th place. And even more so, even though we kept not helping each other, I loved that we could have some fun. Happy to have picked up another mate during this shambles of a game ☺

Jack: This vote probably hurt me the most, but it was something that had to be done for my game. I think over the course of this game, our friendship has strengthened. We were together since Denali, and when that rough patch hit, I really hoped we would somehow rekindle our relationship and we did! I loved talking to you and I loved calling you. Through the 100, you recommending Heath Ledger movies for my dates, talking about my boy “problems”, and finally realizing we both love Dance Academy, I think we definitely have become really close friends. I hope after this game you and I can continue being friends because I appreciated every moment I had with you.

MJ: Ahhhh… We truly had a roller coaster of a relationship and strategic partnership in this game. I'm glad we managed to put everything aside at the end of the day and make a couple of more moves together at the end. I thoroughly enjoyed my time in the game with you and all the calls we had. You were such a good sport about your tribal, and I think that really shows your appreciation for this game, and your skill/maturity as a player in it. You had a really tough go this season, definitely more than your two other runs, but you should be proud of the game you played nonetheless. I'm so happy that we were able to create and develop our friendship throughout this season. Using this game as a tool to create or repair a relationship is one the best aspects of it, so I'm glad we did that, and I hope we can be friends after the game!

[letterniece8-blog]

The 21 Worst People On The New York City Subway

For being a bunch of rule-breakers, New Yorkers are surprisingly strict about underground etiquette. We love that our city is a massive melting pot of crazy-ass people…

…until one of those crazy-ass people makes our subway ride anything less than a first-class transportation experience, then all bets are off.

These terrible straphangers are the not-so-fine folks making your commute even worse than it already is.

1. The d-bag who insists on squeezing into a packed train.

Image: Elite Daily

You just had to do it, didn’t you? Listen, we can barely breathe as it is. If we wanted to be slowly suffocated and uncomfortably touched by a bunch of disgusting strangers, we would hit up Pacha on a night Pauly D is behind the decks.

2. The person who tries to make you let go of the pole before the train stops.

Image: Ben Woosley

When we fall and get a concussion because you had to save yourself a couple of extra seconds on your way out the door, are you going to foot the bill for our trip to the emergency room? Didn’t think so. Now sit back down and stop giving us those dirty looks.

3. The “kids” selling candy.

Image: WeHeartIt

Look, we have no problem with actual children selling candy on the subway (and frankly, we’d love it if the Girl Scouts adopted that business model), but what about those “kids” who don’t even look close to raising-money-for-my-basketball-team age? You’re not fooling anyone, suspiciously old candy dudes.

4. The tourists who rope you into being their free guide to the subway system.

Image: Bob Jagendorf

You asked us if this train was going to Times Square. We said yes. Now we’re stuck assuring you that each station we stop at in between isn’t yours and answering all your inane questions about the city for the rest of the ride. It is not our job to babysit you (unless plan to pay us, that is, in which case carry on because our rent is insanely expensive).

5. The bumrushers.

Image: Sean Doyle

What is it about the on/off process that is so baffling to you? People get off; you get on. We repeat: people get off, then – and only then – you get on. The rest of us managed to figure it out like civilized human beings, so why do you still seem confused about the concept?

6. The person who stops at the top of the stairs.

Image: Jason Kuffer

We don’t care how important that phone call is. If there’s a heaven, you’re not getting in.

7. The aspiring rapper.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YMIw82pX4mA

A subway car is not your launchpad to superstardom. Trust us, there are no big-name label execs slumming it in the underground public transportation system with the rest of us plebs, waiting to hand out a record deal to a promising unknown.

8. Anyone selling, panhandling, evangelizing, or otherwise demanding your attention and/or hard-earned cash.

Image: Russell Petcoff

These people either want to take your money or your will to live.

9. The “It’s showtime!” guys.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EEEn1FEr9Xo

Who wants to spend their commute with blaring speakers and feet flying six inches from their face? No one, that’s who. Two feet on the ground at all times, please. You are not starring in a special subway edition of Cirque du Soleil.

10. The “Are they dead or just drunk?” person.

Image: Timothy Krause

No one is brave enough to check, so you’ll never know.

11. The screamer.

Image: Someecards

Why are they yelling? Are they yelling at you? Did no one explain the concept of an indoor voice to them as a child? Are they a performance artist who thinks they’re acting in a game-changing piece of public theatre? Are they actually crazy? Your best bet is to pop those earbuds in, carefully avoid eye contact, and slink off to the next subway car as soon as possible.

12. The person who treats claiming an open seat like a professional sport.

Image: Wikimedia Commons

The Olympics are over, buddy. And we don’t remember that being an event.

13. The a cappella group.

Image: Nazareth College

This is neither an episode of Glee nor the sequel to Pitch Perfect. Can it. (Unless you’re that awesome old-school barbershop quartet, in which case you and your retro charm can stay.)

14. The person who acts like they’re the only one getting off at a major stop.

Image: Wikimedia Commons

EXCUSE ME! COMING THROUGH! GETTING OFF! EXCUSE ME! This is Grand Central/Penn Station/Union Square/Columbus Circle/etc, jerk-off. Who isn’t getting off?

15. The pole hugger.

Image: College Humor

Unless you’re about to drop trou and perform a routine on it, step away from the pole. Didn’t anyone teach you about sharing in kindergarten?

16. The person who leans in way too close while reading the map.

Image: folkz-r-confuzing.blogspot.com

No seated passenger needs your cleavage or chest hair (or maybe both) that close to their face. Download a subway app to your smartphone like every other decent New Yorker if you haven’t yet committed the map to memory and spare us your egregious violations of personal space.

17. The way-too-into-it PDA couple.

Image: Wallpoper

There’s gotta be a better place to get it on. Like, literally anywhere else. At least save those shenanigans for the back seat of a cab.

18. The person who exits through the emergency gate for no reason.

Image: MTA

Because of your general lack of concern for your fellow man, everyone else in the station is now being treated to the melodic sounds of a blaring alarm system. Thanks, asshat.

19. The girl in the mini skirt so short there’s direct butt-to-seat contact.

Image: Agora Magazine

If you aren’t concerned for your own health and safety, at least spare a thought for everyone else’s. Are you even wearing underwear?

20. Whoever left that bottle in here.

Image: tamasrepus

Thanks to you, it’s going to be rolling around this car for the rest of eternity. Because you know no one else will be bothered pick it up, no matter how many times it makes the trip from the Bronx to Brooklyn and back again.

21. These guys.

Image: Annie Mole 

Honorable Mention: People who eat anything more pungent than a candy bar, people who take up triple the appropriate amount of space by spreading their legs, people who put bags or wet umbrellas on empty seats, people who forcibly exit through the turnstile when you’ve already swiped to enter, tourists who can’t figure out how to dip their credit cards, the dude holding the doors open, the cougher, the starer, the lady applying makeup, the fingernail clippers.

Honorable Awesomeness Mention: You are an expert level subway rider if you frost a cake and feed your fellow passengers. We salute you, cake lady. You are a beacon of light in an otherwise dark, rat-infested world.

Are you guilty of any of these commuter crimes? What’s the worst thing you’ve seen on the NYC subway?

Source: http://www.upout.com/blog/new-york-city/the-21-worst-people-on-the-new-york-city-subway

[survivor-all-stars-blog]

EP 2: “That Was a Little Coo-Coo Crazy for Me” - Jack [ PART I ]

ALEX’S EXIT INTERVIEW

So, now I'm all alone in a game where everyone else knows one another and both people from the only season I've played were the first two to be voted out?  FUCK.  I think I'm screwed but I'm not going to give up all hope yet.  

Alex failed the idiot test by taking things in the challenge, and then he played himself out of the game. Good job, bro.

Well that worked out quite nicely huh? I feel bad for Nick, that real life got in the way for him and hope he's okay. From a game standpoint, there aren't any repercussions from that vote since Alex left. It does feel nice to get down to 23 people, or rather, 48. It leaves Ruthie, although a social butterfly I am sure, without any connections to her previous game. I didn't think Nick and Alex would work together anyways because of Alex believing that Nick's catfish was the reason he was voted out in Arabia, but, I'll take it anyways. It also means that people like Pat, JC, MJ and even Jack and Jessy to some extent, survived, which from a friend standpoint I'm happy. 

Owen was being weird yesterday with suddenly trying to get Emma out, but that was squashed pretty quickly. Pat told Logan that Nick was definitely going, and I'd already had Matt and Kait tell me that Alex was going in Game A, so it was easy to convince him to stick to the easy route and take out Alex. Logan suggested that Emma and Owen have some issues from a previous game? I don't know. I like my alliance with them though, it's not always about the game which is less stressful for me? Again, I don't know but here's an example:

Now in Game A, someone on my tribe needs to sit out. I think I can do this challenge, it's not a flash game, but if you sit out, you can't be blamed for a loss and still get to go to Adventureland if your tribe wins. Choices bro, they're killer. 

whew i dont know if ill make it far. I aligned with pat on my first tribe but will he probably not vote me off???? idk and right now i think logan trusts me. I feel like im gonna go early i wanna dont want to go early atleast higher than 22nd... Thinking about 22nd makes me think of olympics like ew! 

Man, that sucked. I hate that we went to tribal after all doing the right things. I suppose it couldn't be helped, since that tiebreaker was part logic but even bigger part luck. And the cards weren't on our side.

Regardless, I think this provided a great opportunity for Andaman to come together in uniting against Nick. I wish it hadn't gone that way. He didn't deserve that. He had no control over what was going on in his personal life. And I really hope things turn out okay for him. Unfortunately, the reality of it is that we're all self-interested players. And someone who isn't in a position to respond – for whatever reason – is out of necessity someone you can't include in your plans.

So, we've got our first two boots – a super kind and fun player who was the victim of bad circumstances, and a complete mess who screwed himself over then couldn't even fight for himself. AND HE VOTED LOGAN. Um, bye Felicia.

I THINK Andaman is pretty much on lock until a swap. Jack and I established a pretty solid pair from day one. We swapped info like we'd been doing it our whole lives yesterday. It was beautiful. I spoke a good amount with Abbey too, and as I suspected she's totally chill. And Emma and I formed an alliance, although in classic messy Pat style I don't have any intention of honouring it if we hit tribal again. Sorry, Emma.

During that last tribal, Abbey and I agreed we'd have each other's backs. And since Abbey had no problem cutting Emma last round except for Nick's inactivity, Jack and I pulled her into a three-person alliance. I think we might hit one more tribal before a swap, so in that case we'll be alright with Emma as a shield. If it goes any further than that, I'll have a decision to make. Right now, I'm keeping Jack... but anything can happen, right?

That's the latest haps on Andaman. Switching gears over to Kabru, I've got a bad feeling about hitting tribal there this round. I think I'm protected ish. Kait and I still have each other's backs and I think the same holds true with Wes and I. So that's three right there... but of course, no way it's that easy.

Wes made a mistake in the early going of this comp, which sucks. It's a very exponential comp, meaning we're far better off to take our time than rush at the expense of a quick drop. But hey., I understand. I've been there. That kind of mistake was a big contributor in my losing HvVII's final immunity comp. So I'm sure he's beating himself up more than any of us could.

And he provided a list of steps that he programmed, which is awesome. Makes the whole job that much easier. Just gotta do what we can to keep the pace consistent. I also decided not to share it with Andaman because that's the kind of thing that gets around. And when it benefits everyone, it really benefits no one. Not to mention that someone from Kabru would inevitably see it and call shenanigans. So if we can keep an advantage on Kabru, we're better off for it.

Here's where my dilemma comes into play: this comp is due by 10PM tonight. I'm spending some time with an old college buddy I haven't seen in a while tonight after work. I don't know if we'll be done before 10. So unfortunately for me, I'll need to do this at work. And the whole thing will fall apart if I get urgent work, a phone call or a coworker who needs me for anything. This is risky, but the alternative is not submitting, dooming my tribes and presumably killing any advantages offered by having good alliances. It's too early to be able to escape that kind of target.

Excuses don't mean anything in here, though. The stakes are clear – I just have to Step It Up.

did you see what i did up there seriously i thought it was pretty clever

guess who is a literal idiot and only got two points on the challenge lmao this guy. but its ok bc pat jack and i have a baby alliance so i should be safe if we go to tribal again so its whatever.  i told them i cant spell or read or count before we started so they cant be mad at me 

"Your score is 6"

FADSKSJHASKJFHDSKJHFDSKJHFKJHSDKJFHFDSKJAFHDSKJFHKDSJAHFKJDSHGFJGSDHFDGSHGDSFDSHGFHJDGSHJDGSDGSHSHDHSDDSHSH I LITERALLY CANNOT BELIEVE HOW SCREWED I JUST MADE MY SELF HOLY FUCKING SHIT PLEASE JAKEY PULL THRU BECAUSE I JUST FUCKED EVERYTHINNG UP FOR MYSELF AND I'M GONNA DIE AND BE VOTED OUT OF BOTH TRIBES I CANNOT BELIEVE I MESSED UP THIS BAD I WAS BEING SO CAREFUL WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED SADKFJHSDKJHKSDF KILL ME

i

i literally

i literally am gonna lose i i i i i i

my game just ended in four minutes fkjashds well it was fun while it lasted and there goes my chances of anythign GOOD IN THE WORLD now we won't get the idol and also i'm fucking DEAD GOD DAMN IT FSKDJFDSKFHJ

at least alex gave me the idol clue before he left so that's fun and two people lef tthem game but hust wow i'm gonna go cry now bye

That endurance challenge was satanic and gave my fingers arthritis I hate. 

Im so sad i know i am probably gonna go im so mad fuck... Well im not going down with out a fight.

YES!  I won't be seeing Tribal Council AGAIN.  I am so hyped about it too!  Also I'm waiting to go on my adventure and I can't wait to use the clue Alex left for me, unless someone gets there before me!  I still can't believe that I'm doing this all alone this time but I don't think I'll find someone like Alex that I can actually trust in this game.  I don't know... maybe?  But I highly doubt it.  I like that I'm playing for me this time though, I'm going to be a lot more careful and see how far I can make it without having to worry about anyone else! <3 

I am also tired of luck trying to punch my tribes in the face like go to hell i have a flight at 4:30am!! If i do go out well this was a good ts game and its a mockery at myself that i go lower then 22nd... Like down with emma why was her ass casted

ONLY I CAN FUCK UP IN AN ADVENTURE WHEN I HAVE AN IDOL CLUE UGH!!!!!!!!!!  I just hope everyone else has sucky luck too. 

Jules is making me learn an American accent y'all