#i'm unwell since letter a

[403tarot]

NSFW ALPHABET — PARK SEONGHWA

warning: description of explicit sexual content ahead

notes: heavily based on tarot and a bit of my intuition.

DISCLAIMER: this post is for entertainment purposes only. tarot is a game, this means it's supposed to have fun with it. take everything with a grain of salt.

MINORS ARE NOT ALLOWED TO INTERACT!

A — aftercare (how he is like after sex)

does not usually do a big aftercare, just cleans what is necessary. seonghwa is not very talkative after sex and usually takes this moment to not think about anything while he puts you down on top of his chest and pat your back gently then you can rest together (or get ready for the next round)

B — body part (favourite body part of him and of his partner)

his favourite part of his body is everything above the chest, like the collarbones, his neck and his profile in general, these are the parts he is most confident. seonghwa likes to take off his clothes and feel praised, hear that you need him.

about the favourite body part of his partner, he almost has no preference liking the things that stand out most about each partner's body, although he has a soft spot for a curvy body with a good breast-waist-hips ratio. no matter what catches his attention the most, seonghwa will make sure you know the part he finds most attractive about you by talking, touching and rubbing his dick on it if he gets the chance.

C — cum (anything related to cum)

his favorite place to come is in your mouth while holding your hair, but he's messy and will probably want to smear it all over your face. besides that, he will want to release inside you just to see the cum dripping out afterwards.

D — dirty secret

the proposal of a dirty, intense and rude sex is what turns him on. he wants someone who will allow him to be fully immersed, who will make him feel the adrenaline burning through his body, who is willing to take everything he has to offer and ask for more. seonghwa is thirsty and will want to consume you and be consumed back. no frills, wet sex, lots of sweat, skin dragging on skin, grunts and dirty words filling the room all night.

and if you have the best sex of your life one night and then never speak again, that's fine with him.

E — experience (how experienced is him?)

well experienced. he knows what he likes and how. knows how to pleasure. high body count.

F — favourite position

seonghwa's favorite position is standing, you in front and he behind. he likes to hold your hips tightly while thrusting and this position is also good because it gives him access to kiss your neck. another position he might like is to sit while you are riding him so he can see your boobs sway on his face.

G — goofy (is he more serious or humorous in the moment?)

he's definitely the serious and provocative type.

H — hair (how well groomed are him)

he is very careful about his hygiene. barely has hair.

I — intimacy (how he treats you)

seonghwa likes to have shameless sex. he's good at building an atmosphere so you don't feel shy and play along with him. he will run his hand all over your body and then follow the same path with his mouth. he will squeeze your breasts, your waist, pull your hair and leave you full of bite marks. all while his dick is deep inside you because he wants you to feel how thirsty he is. seonghwa will make you forget the world outside the bedroom and transform into a wild version that only he wants to have the pleasure of witnessing — he's a gatekeeper.

seonghwa is dominant but not the conventional type; in fact, he'll turn you into a cockslut so fast you'll barely have time to notice how submissive he can make you become. he's persuasive and will make you crave his touch until you dumbly beg for it. he doesn't need the title of dominant to completely control you.

J — jack off (how often he masturbates)

he doesn't masturbate often, only when he gets really excited

K — kinks (one or more of his kinks)

dry humping: seonghwa really likes to feel wanted and there's nothing better than wanting him so much you get desperate and can't help but rub up against him. he also loves to rub his dick against your ass or thighs as a form of foreplay

ménage/orgy: he is so kind he likes to share with friends. this only works if he has no feelings for you tho because in a relationship he becomes possessive and very jealous.

praise kink & lightly degradation kink: seonghwa likes to be praised. needlessly moan his name, tell him his dick is the best you've ever had or then tease him by saying the exact opposite and have him proving you wrong.

lightly deprivation sense: he can tie your wrists and prevent you from touching him and also make you wear a blindfold. the control and power it gives him drives him crazy, the idea of ​​being able to do whatever he wants to you while being helpless and completely belonging to him.

L — locations (favourite places to do the do)

the best place to do it is in the good ol' bedroom. i asked if he would risk doing it in a semi public place (like a bathroom idk) and the answer was negative.

M — motivation (what turns him on)

seonghwa is a great listener and of course he loves to hear you say directly that you want him. but other than that, the excitement of things implied can make the game very interesting for him. wear an "accidentally provocative" outfit and show off slightly for him, or otherwise play innocent and make him come to you.

carelessly run your hand over his thigh, talk about the trivial things of your day and then watch his brain struggling to decide whether to respond to your mouth or to your hand. he likes to tease and be teased but still is impatient so if you want to play this game make sure you can handle it.

N — no (something he wouldn't do)

seonghwa has a good idea of ​​things he wouldn't do, but i think it's worth highlighting things related to feeling and causing pain. simply it's not his vibe.

O — oral (if he prefers to give or receive, skills...)

seonghwa is a certified pussy eater. he sucks enthusiastically and is loud in the meantime, is not shy and likes to moan while playing with his tongue. he likes to hear you needy calling his name and pulling his hair because it feeds his ego (lol).

seonghwa is also a good receiver but prefers to be sucked when you can go until he comes so he can see your tongue smeared with his cum. he doesn't like to be teased in this moment and if you try to do so he will shove his dick down your throat.

P — pace (is he fast and rough? slow and sensual?)

definitely fast and rough until he can't do it anymore and have to slow down his pace. when he wants to tease he can try to go really slow but seonghwa prefers the adrenaline of feeling his heart beating fast and almost bursting out of his chest. thirsty!

Q — quickie (his opinion on quickies rather than proper sex, etc)

seonghwa prefers to stick it out and wait until he can have proper sex but he also likes quickies and if you offer it he won't refuse.

R — risk (is he open to experiment?)

seonghwa is a pleaser and very open to trying to satisfy his partner. he might try new things he hadn't thought of before and experience some kinks but as said before he has a very clear idea of ​​things he wouldn't do no matter what.

S — stamina (how many rounds he can go for, how long does he last..)

he has such a good stamina and can do "until his partner is satisfied" (and is proud of it), i don't see an exact amount. he necessarily needs a break between rounds. he manages to last a good time and adjust to his partner, although he prefers to release his orgasm later.

T — toys (does he own toys? does he use them in a partner or himself?)

he thinks his dick itself will be your best toy.

U — unfair (how much he likes to tease)

seonghwa is a tease and not ashamed of it. he likes to hear you beg for him as explicitly as possible. he wants to hear you ask him to suck you, to give you his dick and crying needy if he refuses to give you what you want. he can stay at it for hours.

as he sticks his fingers inside you, he'll avoid stimulating you in the places he's learned you like best, or will tie you up and stick only the tip of his dick inside you and then prevent you from moving. he's a menace and he knows it. anything he can use against you, he will.

V — volume (how loud he is, what sound he makes)

he can be pretty loud if the place allows him to do so. seonghwa likes to moan and show that he is enjoying what he is doing. depending on the dynamic between you he can become talkative and tease you with words, he is foul mouthed and likes calling you names such as his whore, his cum dumpster, etc.

W — wild card (a random headcanon with him)

i never did a reading pairing seonghwa to anyone before so this wild card is courtesy of a reading that @sailor-mist did for me with him. thank you my dear (for being my unnie and for confirming my suspicions that i'm the biggest seonghwa's slut on this site) <3

"about the sexual dynamics, I see that seonghwa would be the one to guide the situation, completely. this guy is crazy, the very ☯️ , since at the same time that he will go deep inside you, he will touch you with love. he likes to have, but he's more of a giver, and there's even a bit of romantic stuff, therapeutic sex... I don't know why but he seems to be tireless, messy, and would like to try anything with you. this guy has breeding kink, it's not possible...seems like seonghwa would be quite talkative with you as he would fluctuate between being aggressive and affectionate, so he'd want to check if you're okay"

X — x-ray (what's inside this pants, uh...)

he's on the average line of the korean estimated size.

Y — yearning (how high is his sex drive?)

it's pretty high but normal for a healthy 25 year old man. seonghwa isn't shy about going after what he wants when he's in the mood and has no problem having casual sex.

Z — zzz (how fast he sleeps after it?)

if he doesn't intend to go for a second round, he doesn't take long to sleep, since he uses a lot of energy when he has sex.

deck used: rider waite-smith tarot

let me know your thoughts about this! i love chatting, specially about ateez! my ask is always open <3

you can also request a reading with an idol of your choice. check my pinned to know more!

[miyamoratsumuu]

I REACHED 30 TAGS STOP I'M REBLOGGING THIS AGAIN TO FINISH MY YAPPING AND TO BE ABLE TO ADD THIS TO MY FAVS

(BHNA) CAN MACHINES FALL IN LOVE?

𝜗𝜚 SHOTO TODOROKI: 𝓐LSTROEMERIA.

a/n: [fem!reader] thank you so much for all the support on pt 1!!! ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡ hopefully we like the new layout huhu

shoto is for the girls who brush their hair really rough. shoto who gently works his way down the strands, through every knot and tangle till the brush comes off the ends. he uses a wooden brush, because he knows plastic ones are hard on your head. he doesn’t rush, combing through every damp section as you melt into his touch, especially from the warm shower to his warm hands. only for him to tangle his fingers through your scalp again as your face is snuggled against his chest later that night, or braid your hair the following afternoon, vividly trying to visualise the way his mother taught him while she was in the hospital on his rare days off, and by his sister who would braid baby shoto’s hair as he slept ‎(''-ࡇ-)💤

one time as a kid he had overheard his sister, fuyumi, humming a lullaby before bed. sho' as kid walks in on her brushing her hair for what seems to be a while and asks what she's been doing. when little fuyumi said she has to brush her hair 100 times before bed to become a princess, little shoto has never let go and does it with you almost every night 🥹💗

along the lines of warm showers, he loves when you come out of the bathroom not for the imagery, but for the aromatic fragrance that radiates off your body as you dry your hair (ᴗ͈ˬᴗ͈)ꕤ. when he politely and cluelessly asks if he can dry it, he is so gentle with rubbing the strands between the small towel. sometimes he gets distracted when he smells the shampoo and conditioner. he’ll say, “you smell nice” with a monotone expression, yet so many thoughts behind his crystal turquoise and steel eyes (that he just expects you to know). he loves fruity and flowery scents because they remind him of his mother (·•᷄∩•᷅ ).

shoto is for the girls that get overwhelmed or overstimulated easily. has never been a fan of pda, but there's something about the way he places his hand on top of your knee when he notices the bouncing becomes a lot faster and rougher, the way he squeezes back a bit tighter when you squeeze his palm as a plead to go home, the way that he looks at you so endearingly unknowingly when you fiddle with the hem of his shirt, or the way he lets you fidget with the silver metal on his ring finger.

when he’s out or visiting another place, he always sends you the most adorable letters. there's a wax seal, a stamp and your name in his neat cursive handwriting just the way you like it. your favourite colours, the cologne you said you like on him once suddenly became half empty because he sprayed on every letter. sometimes you’ll get a dried flower stuck with it, or a small packet of your favourite snack on the front!! sometimes he attempts to decorate the letters with stickers, but then ends up only using two, afraid of wasting it HAHA ♡

gets quietly clingy. or lowkey just in general, is always craving your touch ( ≧ᗜ≦)! will never say it though, he expects you to be able to read his telepathic thoughts that he sends through his softened eyes and dimple pout. he likes being held; he likes the way he feels like putty in your arms. his favourite is when his face is buried in the crook of your neck, listening to your hands soothe under his shirt on his bare back. he likes the way his breath hitches before slowly exhaling when he can smell the flowery scent of your dried-damp hair on your nape. a little spoon i fear your honour

loves the way necklaces look on you!! especially the dainty simple ones. doesn't mind using his dad's black card on you LMAO 😭. you defo have a collection of them all prettily displayed on a little necklace stand each on a hook, and they all have little stories behind them (some of them are just ones he bought on a whim too hehe). one has his initial, he's matching with your initial (obviously), which is one that you both wear on special occasions. one has a butterfly because he said it reminded him of your beauty, you usually wear that on dates. the ones with rhinestones or your birthstone are the ones he purchases when he's away from you and you wear them interchangeably. he loves the silver ones btw!! idk there's just something that happens to his heart whenever he sees the charm dangling off your neck when you reach over to him, or the way the chain bumps along your collarbone ♡

he reminds you of cotton candy skies, especially the ones in blue and pink hehe.. he looks at the text and sky you sent him, and he stares at the screen thinking to himself: can machines fall in love?

[merrybloomwrites]

Safe and Sound

Summary: Being an online personality on a well known Youtube channel comes with it's fair amount of attention. But when one fan starts to get too close for comfort, Spencer is there to keep you safe.

Word Count: 2.6K

CW: stalker, getting drugged

AN: Another story for Whumptober! This has been in my mind for awhile so I'm happy to share this protective Spencer story with you all! It's a bit of a heavier story again so please make sure to note the content warning and please don't read if those topics make you uncomfortable or trigger you in any way.

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You always knew that there are people on the internet that are creeps. Or are just plain weird. Getting a job as a cast member as Smosh only confirmed that fact. 

It doesn’t happen every time you're in a video, but you’ll occasionally see some odd comments about you. People who hate you, people who love you a bit too much, people who notice the tiniest, most random things about you. It’s a bit off-putting, but not enough to really concern you. They’re just randos on the internet you will never interact with in real life. 

But then you start to get this weird feeling whenever you leave your apartment. You figure you’re just being paranoid, but still, it’s uncomfortable. Almost as though you’re being watched. 

It’s disconcerting, but temporary, and by the time you arrive at work, or the grocery store, or the local bar to hang with friends, you’ve forgotten all about it. 

And then the letters start. Letters sent to your apartment with no return address. They’re typed, even your address isn’t handwritten but rather stamped on. 

As though the anonymity wasn’t bad enough, the content of the letters had your anxiety spiking. The person was clearly unwell, and obsessed with you. Sentences like, “I need to have you,” and “you will be mine” are all too common in their writing. 

You bring the letters to the police and explain what your job is to give context of how this stalker probably found you. They say they’ll look into it, but there’s not much they can do. 

Disheartened, you try to protect yourself as much as you can. You get extra locks for your doors and windows, as well as install cameras to catch anyone who may get close to your home. It’s not much, but at least you can feel a bit safer when you’re at your apartment.

You tell Ian and Anthony as well as a couple other higher ups at Smosh to make them aware of the situation. They ask if you want to take a step back from appearing in videos for the time being, but you want to continue on like usual. Whoever this person is, you refuse to let them force you to change things about your life. 

The letters continue, roughly one a week for a few months. You bring all of them to the police, trying to help get to the bottom of this, but you have nothing else to go on. 

Then one day as you leave for work, you have that feeling of being watched once again. You scan the area and notice a person sitting on a bench in the park across the street. Which wouldn’t be weird, except this man seems to be looking directly at you. It could be a coincidence, but something has you feeling like it may be something more sinister. You take out your phone and try to discreetly take a video of this person. 

You debate over sending the video to the police officer you’ve been in contact with, but since the person isn’t doing anything obviously nefarious, it would probably be a waste of everyone’s time. You do show it to Ian when you get to the office. You’re not sure why you share it, maybe you want him to validate you that it’s weird, or maybe you want him to tell you it’s totally normal and everything is fine. 

What you don’t realize is that it isn’t just you and Ian in the kitchen, but that Spencer has overheard the conversation as well. 

“Wait, what’s going on?” he says, walking over to you, a confused look on his face.

“I, uhm, well I kind of seem to have a stalker,” you state.

“Oh my god. Are you okay? Are you safe?” he asks worriedly.

 “Yea. I mean, I think so. Mostly it’s just letters getting mailed to my house. But I’ve been having this weird feeling like I’m being watched. And there was this guy looking at me from the park this morning, but I think that’s just a coincidence.”

“Y/N, that’s-” he stands there at a loss for words. “That sounds dangerous, like bad news waiting to happen.”

“I’ve gone to the police,” you explain. “They have all the information I have. But there’s nothing they can do, at least not yet.”

“You mean not until something bad happens. I hate that.” 

“I’ve done everything I can to protect my home so I feel safe there. If I didn’t then I wouldn’t stay.”

“I’m glad to hear that. But if you ever don’t feel safe, you can come stay with me,” Spencer says.

“Or me,” Ian adds. 

“Thanks guys. I promise that if it gets worse then I’ll take one of you up on that offer.” 

It’s nice to know that they have your back, that you have places you can go if anything were to happen. Because while you try to stay positive, you can’t lie. You’re scared. You’re scared that whoever this person is will do something more serious. And as terrifying as that is, you’re less anxious knowing you have people you can turn to. 

More weeks pass, and the letters continue. You see the same man twice more at the park, taking videos each time. After the third, you do send all of them to the police, since there now seems to be a pattern. The officer you speak with assures you that they’re looking into it, trying to identify the man. She also asks you to call them if he shows up again.

The following Friday a group of your friends decide to hang at a local bar to celebrate the end of a long filming week. You have a drink, dance with some friends, and for a moment, you forget about your problems.

But the feeling of being watched comes back. This time it’s worse than ever, your skin prickling with anxiety. Scanning the room, you notice a man whose eyes are locked on you. He looks vaguely familiar, but you can’t place where you might know him from.

Brushing it off, you go up to the bar to order another drink. It’s a busy night, and the bar is crowded so it takes a few minutes for you to get served. You scan the room, trying to find that guy again but you’ve lost him amongst the sea of people. 

When you look back at the bar your cocktail is waiting for you so you place down your cash, grab your drink, and head back to your friends. You dance with them again, taking sips of your drink and just letting loose.

After a little while you start to feel a bit dizzy and figure that the cocktail must be pretty strong. You slow down, drinking less and trying to take deep breaths to combat the lightheadedness. It doesn’t seem to be helping, and you start to feel a bit nauseous, so you excuse yourself to the bathroom. 

You walk to the hallway on unsteady legs, and miraculously are able to use the restroom. You slowly wash your hands, concentrating deeply on the task. 

On your way back to your friends you get confused, taking a wrong turn and going down the wrong hallway. It’s dark back here, and if you were more coherent you’d realize that customers aren’t supposed to be here, and the only door leads to a storage room. 

Turning around you find that you’re suddenly not alone. A tall man is there smiling at you. It’s not someone you recognize but you have a vague sense that you should know him. He steps closer and you start to feel anxious, not liking the situation you’ve found yourself in. 

“Excuse me,” you try to say, but your mouth feels almost numb, and you’re not sure the words actually came out. 

“I’m glad I found you Y/N,” he says. You stare at him, trying to figure out how you know him. “It’s time to get going, sweetheart.”

He starts to lead you away and you follow, unable to come up with a reason to stay. The music gets louder, lights are flashing in your eyes, and you’re becoming more and more disoriented. 

The next thing you know, a group of your friends are frantically speaking to you, the man nowhere to be found. You desperately try to focus on any one thing, but it’s chaos all around you. Hands cup your face and you flinch before meeting the eyes of the person who placed them there so gently. 

“Spencer?” you ask, needing confirmation that your muddled mind has at least one thing correct.

“Yea, it’s Spencer,” he replies as he moves his hands off of you, relieved that he now has your attention. “Can you tell me what happened?”

You shake your head no.

“Do you know who that man is?” Spencer asks.

Again you just shake your head.

You sway on your feet and Spencer quickly steps in and helps you sit on the floor. You lean your head back against the wall, but you find that makes the dizziness worse, so you rest it on your knees instead. You’re turned to look at Spencer, needing to focus on something safe right now. 

There’s more commotion, and you watch as Spencer speaks with a couple of people in uniform. He places a calming hand on your back and tries asking you more questions, but everything is too murky for you to understand.

You’re so drowsy, and you stop fighting your heavy eyelids, letting them close as the world around you finally goes quiet.

You’re not out for long, waking up a short while later in the ambulance. Spencer is still there, now holding onto your hand. 

At the hospital a lovely doctor checks you over to make sure you’re not injured. She takes blood and gives you some IV hydration. By the time you’re discharged, the world has stopped spinning and you’re able to understand and answer the questions you’re being asked. 

Two of the police officers come to the hospital to speak with you now that you’re more coherent, and you tell them about the man. One of the officers is the woman you’d been in contact with regarding the letters and the stranger at the park and she pulls up the pictures you had taken as well as a still from the security footage from the bar.

Your blood runs cold as you realize that it is absolutely the same person. Just a moment ago you were reeling from the fact that you had been roofied. And now you find out that it wasn’t just some random guy that did it, but instead one who has been stalking you for months. You weren’t drugged on some whim. This had to have been planned, thought out for who knows how long. 

You keep it together until the police officers leave and then you turn to Spencer, eyes wide and filling with tears.

After taking a deep breath you say, “Thank you so much for finding me. I can’t imagine what he would have done if you hadn’t come looking for me.”

“I would never have been able to forgive myself if anything happened to you,” is his reply. 

You can’t think of anything to say in reply, so you choose to lean into his side instead. He wraps an arm around you, and it might be your imagination, but you think you feel him press a kiss to the top of your head. 

“C’mon. The guys dropped my car off, let’s get you home,” Spencer says. 

“No!” You quickly shout. “He knows where I live. He’ll find me there.”

“Y/N, they have him down at the police station. But I actually didn’t mean your home. I meant mine, if you’re alright with that.”

“Oh. Yes, please, I’m good with that.”

Spencer keeps his arm around your waist as he leads you out of the hospital and to his car in the nearby lot. He opens the passenger door and pulls out a sweatshirt. He helps you pull it over your head before you sit in the seat. You struggle a moment with the seatbelt, and he leans in to click it for you. It’s embarrassing, him having to do all of this because you’re still so shaky, but he doesn’t see it that way. 

He talks the whole way to his place, and you’re grateful for the random stories that fill the silence. It keeps your mind from slipping into the dark fearful thoughts that keep trying to pop up.

Once at his apartment he asks if you want to take a shower or get some sleep. 

“Shower first, if that’s okay?” you answer.

“Of course it’s okay. Whatever you need,” he replies. “I’ll get some breakfast ready as well. Anything particular you want?”

Your stomach is still unsettled so you ask if it’s possible to just have toast.

“I think I can handle toast,” he says with a smile, causing you to giggle. “I’ll make you a smoothie too, how does that sound?”

“Perfect.” 

Spencer leads you to the bathroom where he starts the shower and shows you how to change the temperature of the water. He steps out for a moment and comes back with a stack of clean clothes for you to wear.

“I’ll be right down the hall if you need anything,” he says before he leaves the room.

You shower as quickly as you can, wanting to get back to Spencer. Being alone is the last thing you want right now, but you also need to wash last night off of you so you can feel clean.

It feels amazing to slip into Spencer’s cozy sweats, his old, worn t-shirt, and soft hoodie. 

He’s in the kitchen and you watch as he butters toast and pours the smoothie into two cups. Breakfast is quiet as you focus on eating slowly so as to not upset your stomach. You finish as much as you can before the exhaustion really sets in. 

“C’mon, you need to sleep,” he says. The polite part of you wants to help clear the dishes as a thank you, but he’s right. You can barely stay upright on the way to his room. He closes the blinds and tucks you in, and you fall asleep almost immediately. 

You’re not sure how long you sleep before a nightmare has you jolting awake, screaming. 

“What’s wrong?” Spencer asks as he runs into the room. 

He sits on the bed beside you and you try to explain the dream you’d just had in which Spencer hadn’t saved the day and you’d ended up with that man. But as you go to speak nothing comes out except a shattered sob. 

Without hesitation he pulls you to him and holds you close. He gently rocks you as he tells you, “You’re safe, you got away, he can’t get you,” over and over until the message sinks in. 

You don’t say anything, but slowly your tears fade away and your eyes start to feel heavy once again. You want to lay back down and rest some more, but you don’t want Spencer to leave again.

“Stay. Please.” 

It’s all you get out before you fall back to sleep. 

You wake up hours later with Spencer still holding you, and for the first time in months, you know that you’re safe, and that everything is going to be okay.

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AN: Thank you for reading! I only have one or two more Spencer story ideas so lmk if you have any requests!

[thebenjiblackwoodexpress]

Jump then fall prt.8-The Finale

Description: Can Aeron and Y/N get their happily ever after, or will the impending Dance of the Dragons keep them apart? Dragons, a wild Benjicot, and tourney's, oh my!

Part 7

Writer's note: the final part of Jump then Fall! I had never written a fanfic before this but it's been so fun to get involved with the HOTD fandom. Thank you so much to everyone who read this series :) I'm not sure if I'll write for Aeron anymore as I'll be trying my hand at an Aemond series next. But Elizabeth will hold the fort on the Brackenwood twinks with her Benji content. This includes crossover content with The Blackwood Knight since we accidentally created what we like to call 'The Bracken Tree Multiverse.' 😏

Warnings: swearing, female reader, Canon divergent, hurt/comfort, brief angst, lot's of fluff.

As dawn broke, Aeron made his way to the border with Samwell and Edmund. They did not have to wait long for Benjicot Blackwood to appear over the top of a hill, making his way down to them alone to Aeron's surprise. He was either brazen or so in love with Aeron's cousin that he had become blind to risk. He addressed Aeron with more deference and respect than he'd expected, based on the hostility that had tinged all their previous interactions. "Ser Aeron, I was gladdened to receive your raven." Aeron tried to match his tone "Ser Benjicot, I thank you for agreeing to meet with me. I will get to the point. It is my intention to broker peace between our Houses, your relationship with my cousin has led me to believe you will be amenable to this." Benjicot looked up sharply, can he really have been surprised that his love for Aeron's cousin was the worst kept secret in the Riverlands?

Coughing slightly at the awkwardness of the situation, Benjicot straightened and assumed an air of pride. "I am indeed in love with your cousin. I hope you do not intend to take issue with this. I would prefer not to fight you for fear of upsetting my beloved, I know how she cares for you." Aeron smirked back at him. "I do not take issue with you Blackwood. But it has come to my attention you have been sneaking across the border to see the lady under cloak of darkness. I ask you to desist and to meet with her by day instead before you are married." An uncharacteristic dusting of pink tinted Benjicot's cheeks as he nodded wordlessly. Aeron continued  "I will arrange for you to meet her at the border and take her to visit Raventree Hall on the morrow should this be acceptable to you. The lady herself has already agreed to the arrangement." Benjicot's perpetually cocky smirk returned in full force "I gladly accept. Now tell me of your terms for peace."

The terms were shortly settled and Aeron turned to Edmund as soon as Benjicot was out of hearing distance. "Cousin, I am grateful for your aid today and must ask of you another favour. Can I entrust you to take a message to my Lady, requesting a meeting with her in a location of her choosing. I will not encroach upon her home in the current circumstances. In doing so I trust that you will also issue her with your most heartfelt apology." Aeron's eyebrows rose up at the last, Edmund sheepishly nodding in return. "I will see to it forthwith cousin." Aeron wished to inform Y/N of the fortunate outcome of his meeting with Benjicot in person. He felt her absence most keenly, and seeing her so distressed the previous evening had broken his resolve to stay away from her entirely.

He had just barely been able to bear it when he'd thought it was only him that was suffering so acutely, knowing that it was her wish for him to keep his distance. And he'd instead tried to be content with sending her letters each day and imagining her response to each word. But seeing Y/N look so unwell, watching her burst into tears upon seeing him, and having her practically faint in his arms, had broken his resolve. Nonetheless, he wished to approach this as respectfully and in keeping with Y/N's wishes as possible, sending Edmund with his message first and requesting that she appoint a meeting place herself.

Edmund returned to Bracken Hall before midday with his Lady's response. He let out a sigh of relief as Edmund informed him of her acquiescence to meeting him and that she awaited him presently under their tree. Aeron wasted no time, pocketing a small parcel and departing to meet her at a brisk pace. He slowed his pace as Y/N came into view, palm raised to the trunk of the Brackentree as if reliving a memory. Trying not to startle her, he endeavoured to make enough noise to make his presence known at a distance. She looked up upon hearing the tread of his boots and Aeron stopped a respectful distance away. He looked longingly into her expectant eyes, wishing he could take her hand but knowing his advances would be unwanted at present. He did not assume that because she had allowed him to hold her yesterday, she would allow him to do so today. "My Lady, I am grateful you agreed to meet with me. I hope Edmund was respectful and fittingly apologetic for his part." Y/N nodded, the corner of her mouth quirked up as if trying to contain a smile. "He was, i've never seen him do anything but preen and look obnoxious. I would say it made a welcome change if I could, but it was almost disturbing." Aeron laughed at her wit, the sound and feel of laughter almost foreign to him now, and he rejoiced that she should feel comfortable enough to jest with him. "I wished to tell you of my meeting with Benjicot Blackwood." Y/N eyes immediately perked up attentively at that, eager to hear his news as she leaned her back against the trunk of the Bracken tree. "He was amenable to my suggestions for brokering peace between our Houses and was generous in his offer to dispense with the boundary lines. You were right that my cousin had a secret love, it was Benjicot all along. He seemed willing to go to any lengths to ensure she would not be torn between our two Houses and so I could not have hoped for a better outcome."

He took some tentative steps towards Y/N, and when she did not startle or attempt to move from her position, he walked to stand directly in front of her. His voice came out soft and distant even to him as he became lost in gazing at her. He had not been able to gaze upon the woman he loved for such a painfully long period of time and drank in each detail of her appearance now, in the fear that she would not allow him to see her again. Pulling his focus back to her eyes he was startled to find that her eyes seemed to be flitting across his features in the same manner, and he felt his own heart stutter at the thought of her missing him too. "All that is left is for me to convince my uncle to agree to Benjicot's terms, and reaffirm my refusal to the marriage with Roslyn Tully." Y/N nodded but still looked to him unsure. "And you think you can convince him on both those matters?" Aeron's expression turned resolute, his gaze focused on her eyes "I am certain of it because there is no other option for me. I have only ever loved one girl my whole life and I will marry no other, whatever the consequences."

Y/N raised her hand to hold onto the sleeve of his tunic, pulling him towards her slightly, before looking back up to him with her own determined stare. "I must ask you to understand how betrayed I have felt, how much your actions hurt me, and that it is difficult for me to trust you now. But I love you, you know this already and there is no use in denying it." Aeron tentatively raised his own hand to lightly graze her ribcage with his knuckles, a barely there touch that still conveyed his affection for her. He did not try to interrupt her as she continued. "If you make me your solemn promise never to deceive me again, and to keep your word with regards to your intentions, I will endeavour to forgive you and hope that in time my trust in you can be restored to what it was."

Aeron smiled tenderly at her, her words so welcome to his ears. He pulled a small package from his tunic, unwrapping it to reveal a golden broach to her. Her eyes were immediately drawn to the golden stallion atop the clasp, the symbol of House Bracken. "I wish for you to take this small token as an assurance that I mean what I say, in my eyes you are already the future Lady Bracken, should you permit it." Y/N tentatively took the broach from him, finding herself genuinely moved by his heartfelt attempt to show her his true intentions. She looked back up at him with a gentle smile "Thank you, Aeron."

Lost in his feeling of elation at her acceptance of his small gift, he took a step closer to her as if to embrace her and she planted a hand firmly on his chest to stop him. Aeron instantly halted his movements as his head dropped and he took a step back. "Aeron, I do not wish to open my heart to any more dissapointment. I ask that you keep your distance oncemore. You may come to me only when you have your uncle's express consent to break off your betrothal to Lady Roslyn, only when you are free to marry who you wish." Aeron's expression turned pained, but he understood his Lady's reasoning. "As you wish it, my love." Y/N briefly raised her hand as if to touch him before seeming to think better of it, lowering it back down to her side. "Farewell then Aeron." Her eyes glistened slightly as she strode quickly away from him. Aeron stayed rooted to the spot, watching Y/N walk away from him until she passed over the hill that lead to her home and he could no longer see her.

Lord Amos Bracken was furious at first to learn of his nephew's meeting with Benjicot Blackwood and the pact they had made. To know that Aeron had acted on behalf of House Bracken without his consent. He refused to speak with his nephew for three days in his anger, despite Aeron's constant attempts to catch him as he left his council room or left his chambers to break his fast. By the third day, Aeron had had enough. His uncle's stalling was just extending the length of time before he could see Y/N again and so on the third day he boldly strode into his uncle's council as it was in session. "Uncle I will speak with you, should you permit it or not. I ask you now to decide whether I will do so in front of your council members or not."

His uncle gaped at Aeron's audacity before signalling for his council to depart with a wave of his hand. As soon as the room was vacated and the door shut, Aeron began before his uncle could forestall him further. "Uncle the pact Ser  Benjicot Blackwood and I have brokered will mean peace throughout the Riverlands. There will be no more cause for violence at the border, indeed we will need no border at all and can pass peacefully between Blackwood and Bracken lands. You reject it out of spite alone. Will you not see what lies before you? We assure our own destruction if you will not be swayed." Lord Amos merely glared at Aeron, saying nothing and Aeron threw his hands up in frustration before stalking from the chamber, leaving the door to swing harshly against the wall. However, Lord Amos had begun to consider Aeron's words, unbeknownst to his nephew.

The next day Aeron took a different approach and when he sought an audience with his uncle again, it was with Lady Roslyn beside him. "Uncle, I entreat you to consider the benefits of an accord between our House and House Blackwood. There is no need for us to tear the Riverlands apart for Targaryen overlords who have no care for us. I will not marry Lady Roslyn, nor does she have any desire to marry me and she has kindly accompanied me to tell you as much. It is Y/N I love and it is her alone I will pledge myself too. You can either except this absolute with or without the peace pact I have secured." Aeron was out of breath by the time he had finished his tirade but his persistence had been worth it. Lord Amos finally acceded the sagacity of a pact between Blackwoods and Brackens, particularly when the Riverlands were threatened by all out warfare and destruction by dragon fire. Together, the Houses of the Riverlands would stand strong. And at last, he consented to dissolve Aeron's betrothal to the Lady Roslyn, much to her own relief. Aeron was pleasant enough but her tastes lay elsewhere, she had already found love with her handmaiden. She laughed as Aeron ran from the hall the second they were dismissed, having no doubt of where he was headed.

Y/N was almost ashamed to find herself yet again sat in the windowsill of her father's home, that gave her a direct view of Bracken Hall. She knew that it was at her request that Aeron stayed away. She had not thought she could bear his closeness while still uncertain whether she would be able to marry him. It did not matter that he'd all but promised himself to her, not until Lord Bracken rescinded his betrothal to Roslyn Tully. The Blackwood heir's ready acceptance to peace terms had filled her with hope, but she was no fool and would not allow herself to be placed in a precarious position again as she had been when Aeron's betrothal had first been announced.

And yet she had almost convinced herself she could see Aeron walking the path that led to her home, as she had often imagined. Her heart leapt in her chest as she realised she was not imagining anything, that was Aeron making his way across the field which led to her home. He was far off in the distance but she could recognise his silhouette anywhere. Y/N knew that if he had come to her that could only mean one thing, that all her hopes were coming to fruition. She slid off the window sill, picking up her skirts and beginning to run. It was a difficult task with nerves racking her entire body, but she felt an inexplicable pull forcing her legs to move faster as she ran to meet Aeron.

He did not spot her at first, seemingly preoccupied with staring at his boots, a bouquet of baby's breath flowers swinging from one of his hands. But when he did his face lit up in a smile that was pure sunshine to Y/N, full of warmth, which only made her run that much faster. Aeron opened his arms to meet her as she practically flew into him, wrapping his arms around her and holding her to him in an embrace that lifted her feet of the ground. He held her aloft and against him for a long while, his face pressed against her hair, breathing in the smell of her perfume, before he slowly slid her back down to the ground. He kept his arms firmly encircled around her waist nonetheless, as if frightened she would dissapear, though she had no intention of leaving his arms anytime soon.

Still out of breath from her exertions, she spoke in between pants. "It is settled then? I am to be your wife?" She watched a soft emotion crossed Aeron's eyes. Removing his hands from her waist and taking a step back from her, which had Y/N inwardly panicking that she had misunderstood the situation entirely, he suddenly knelt before her on one knee. She blushed as she realised what he was doing. Taking both her hands in his, he looked up at her reverentially as if she were a goddess and he her humble worshipper. "I will make no great speeches now my love, for I hope there will be plenty of time for that in the days and years that follow. I know that I tarried too long in expressing this, my most earnest and longheld desire, that you should become my wife, so I will waste no more time. I offer myself to you as your husband, as one who loves you and wants nothing more than to cherish you for the rest of our lives."

Y/N could hardly speak through the all-consuming joy she felt but squeezed his hands and managed out a breathy "yes." Aeron was on his feet in an instant, oncemore lifting her off the ground and spinning her as they both laughed. Setting her back down, he slowly brought his hands to either side of her face, before pressing his forehead to hers and closing his eyes, as if trying to convey the love he felt for her with this touch. He brushed his lips against hers, whispering against them "I can no longer be a raven", seemingly referring to that pained period when the only connection he could have with his beloved was the daily letters he sent by raven. With that he closed the distance and captured her lips with his. Y/N pulled away from him after a few moments, fixing Aeron with a stern gaze. "Don't you ever do something so stupid again, do you understand me?" Aeron gulped down a swallow before responding "Of course my love, it was a terrible thing and I am sorry for it. I will spend a lifetime trying to make up for it." Y/N considered this and nodded, placing her head on his chest. Only a second later she abruptly pushed him away from her, seemingly not finished with scolding him for his previous misteps as she poked him in the chest with her index finger. "And don't think that you can just get away with..." Aeron quickly cut her off, pulling her back to him by her waist and crashing his lips to hers. Y/N found she did not care about his rude interruption, simply opening her palm to lay it flat against his chest and entangling her other hand in his hair. She felt him smile against her lips as she did so.

Aeron did not think he had ever been so nervous in his life as he stood at the altar of the Sept at Bracken Hall, waiting for Y/N. His feelings had clearly mapped their way onto his expression and Samwell lightly elbowed him in the ribs as he stood at his side. "Worried she's going to jilt you? Can't blame you, she was always too good for you." When Aeron shot him a look of utter panic at what he'd intended as a joke Sam relented and placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. "Stop worrying. Y/N loves you, it may be misguided philanthropy on her part but it's true nonetheless. She'll be here." Aeron nodded and faced back towards the door.

He was glad of it as within moments Y/N appeared on her father's arm. Aeron's face broke into a smile at the sight of her. She had never looked so beautiful to him than she did now in her wedding dress of cream and gold, symbolising her affinity with his House. He had to remember to keep his breathing even as she walked towards him, but his nerves disappeared altogether when she removed herself from her father's arm to take his hand instead. He could barely contain his joy as they spoke their vows, realising that he could finally call Y/N his wife.

𝕰𝖕𝖎𝖑𝖔𝖌𝖚𝖊

As the great Houses of the Riverlands came together as one to support Rhaenyra's claim, the war was quickly won in the true Queen's favour. A period of peace and prosperity was brought forth such that the Riverlands had never seen in living memory, the pact between House Blackwood and House Bracken cemented in treaties and in blood with the marriage of the Lord of Raventree, Benjicot Blackwood, to Aeron Bracken's cousin.

Aeron felt sure he'd checked everywhere for his favourite riding gloves, having turned his chambers inside out to find them. He was certain his Lady Wife would not be best pleased at the mess but he urgently needed his gloves for the tourney his uncle was holding on the morrow. He had neither the time nor the patience to restore everything back to its rightful place as he searched, leaving behind him a wake of destruction. A gentle cough behind him signalled the arrival of the very lady he'd been  thinking of and he turned to her with a sheepish smile. "I must apologise, my love. I assure you I will set everything back to rights, I just cannot seem to find my gloves anywhere." Y/N nodded, smoothing her skirts down and beginning to open up a cabinet he'd not yet checked. "I think it best we find the gloves first before we attempt to put anything back in order. I don't trust you not to mess it up again otherwise." She sent him a look that was half stern, half teasing. "Right you are of course, my darling." He smiled at her sweet nature as she joined him in looking for his missing gloves.

Opening a drawer in the bottom shelf of a dresser his hands grazed some crumpled parchment, and he pulled out a wad of letters tied together with lilac ribbon. As he continued to look at them he realised they were in fact his letters, or rather the ones he had written to Y/N in the weeks following that disastrous banquet, when she had refused to speak to him at all. He had imagined she'd thrown every letter out in her anger with him, it warmed his heart to know she'd kept them like precious treasures. They were crumpled and clearly well-read, as if she had gone back to them time and time again. Suspicious of her husband's silence, Y/N turned and her heart skipped a beat at what she saw. Quickly running over to him she made a grab for the letters but Aeron pulled them out of her reach. Her face was flushed with embarrassment but Aeron could not see why.

"You kept my letters?" Hearing the tenderness in his tone as his eyes softened, she realised he did not mean to mock her for her sentimentality.

"They were beautiful letters."

"I thought you had hated each one, though I could not find it in myself to stop writing. Those letters felt like the only thing tethering me to you at one point."

Y/N reached up to stroked Aeron's cheek. "I cannot tell you what those words meant to me. I read them over and over, they were the only thing that made me certain you did in fact love me. I cherish them and read them often even now."

Aeron took her hand from his face to place a kiss on her palm at her admission. "Perhaps I should write more love letters, then, if it would please my Lady Wife." Aeron smirked cockily at her. She swatted his chest, "Don't get too arrogant now, it doesn't suit you husband. I should be glad to receive your notes though if you deign to write them."

Aeron pulled her to him, his chin resting atop her head. "I shall dedicate hours to them each day. Nothing shall take precedence." Aeron jested. He did so love to hear his wife laugh.

As the morning of the tourney loomed, Aeron attempted with little success to put on his armour without the help of his bastardly squire, who'd gotten too deep into his cups at the opening feast the night prior. As he struggled to attach his pauldron to his breastplate he heard the shift of fabric as the flap of his tent was pulled up and his Lady Wife entered. "Husband, I can hear you clanging about with your armour from outside. Let me help you." She removed his hands from where he'd been fumbling with clasps as she deftly began to attach each piece with more patience and skill than he had done. He felt his heartbeat race, as she brushed her hands across his shoulders to survey her handy work. Though they were now married and he could barely feel her touch through the armour, she was ever able to have such an affect on him.

Handing him his gauntlet she nodded, seemingly satisfied with her work. "You are presentable, now make me proud." Aeron let out a hearty laugh, pulling his beloved wife to him with one arm wrapped around her waist as she braced her hands against his chest from the momentum. He leaned down and lightly brushed his nose against hers. "I shall win every tournament  which I compete in if it should please my Lady, and if she consent to give me her favour." Quickly pecking him on the lips Y/N affectionately patted Aeron on the cheek before pulling away. "None of that my Good Knight. You can get a kiss when you win your tournaments."

As Aeron reluctantly released her, a playful look lit her eyes and she made a grab for his sword. "You should teach me how to use this Aeron, it might come in handy when your cousin Edmund is being particularly reprehensible." Lifting it she attempted to swing it in an arch but stumbled under the weight of it, not having taken that into account. Aeron's eyes widened in concern for her safety as it swung wildly out of her grip in the direction of the tent entrance, only for Samwell to pop his head through the flap. The sword just barely missed his head as his eyes widened comically in shock. Y/N quickly covered her mouth in embarrassment and fear of what she had almost done. Seeming to recover his wits, Samwell turned his head in Aeron's direction. "I dare say my good man your Lady Wife almost decapitated me. What have you done to make her so angry she should swing your own sword at you."

Y/N took a step towards him, frantically uttering her apologies. "I'm so terribly sorry Samwell, I was being silly and messing about with it."

Samwell did not wish to embarass his friend's wife and so shrugged it off. "No worries my Lady, if I were bound to that oaf over there for the rest of my days I'd also have swung a sword at him by now." Aeron rolled his eyes at Samwell and wrapped his arm around his wife's shoulders, rubbing his hand down her arm comfortingly. "I'll not have you undermining my Lady's swordsmanship Samwell. The blow was clearly well aimed and meant for you. I'm immensely proud." Y/N's embarrassment had begun to fade as the two men continued to jest and volley insults at one another, but she resolutely decided she would in fact ask Aeron to teach her to handle a sword in future to avoid any recurrences. With a soft kiss to the crown of her head, Aeron departed for the joust and Y/N made for the stands to cheer on her husband. She positioned herself close to the balcony railings of Lord Bracken's box so Aeron would be able to see her and ask for her favour. She well knew he had kept the first lilac favour she'd ever given him tied to his swordbelt, and yet she still knew he would ask it of her. She believed that to him it was his way of expressing to her what they'd both always known since they were children, that he was her Good Knight and she his Lady.

@lovebabe18 @poppyflower-22 @ithilwen-blackwood @spinachtz @lady-callisto @twistytimesandthoughts @abookloverlawyerfan-blog @mymoonempress @alexandracgg @rvllybllply2014 @nyrasnation @shemisseshome @margoniezniez @im-gonna-love-you-forever

[violet-moonstone]

highlights from "searching for oswald...and chicken"

wow I loved this episode...I feel like I say that every time but I REALLY REALLY enjoyed this one

first of all its a Dagur episode, which automatically makes it great...most of the screenshots I took are of him. Honestly all of his dialogue is very quotable, especially since so many of the jokes they give him are thinly veiled adult humour

also the B plot with chicken was certainly something (and makes me think the writers were thinking about the end of the hidden world while writing it?)

ok so the beginning of the episode was already tugging at my heartstrings. I love seeing Dagur and Heather's sibling relationship, whether hey're arguing or getting along.

Well that's deeply upsetting! and the fact that he said "most of his life" makes me wonder how much of the confidence Dagur displayed as a teenager was a cover for whatever he was dealing with internally.

The part where Dagur hugs Heather and she looks happy but almost surprised was very bittersweet. It seems like she's still getting used to having a family, and affection catches her off guard.

Excuse me while I go cry

Call me deranged but I think Dagur slamming Snotlout against a cage was hot

As always, Hiccup is adorable. Literally looks like a cat

This is funny but also very upsetting! Snotlout and Dagur really make a habit of using humourous line delivery to cope with being deeply unwell:

*clears throat* uh yeah Dagur, I'm sure you do love a good "fruit bath," from time to time if you know what I mean...

Come on, the writers, animators and voice actor HAVE to have known that line came across as suggestive. Like the way he sounds? His facial expression? They may not have intended it to specifically imply he was talking about getting in a sauna with some twinks, but it certainly sounded like something sensual was going on.

Also I didn't get a shot of this but when Dagur starts listing adjectives to describe Heather's reckless behaviour, Hiccup says "Sentinel" while looking at Oswald's journal. Dagur says something like "that's not quite the word I'd use," which makes me think Dagur was going to call her a not so PG word...

Snotlout staring directly at the camera while narrating Tuffnut's emotional breakdown in the style of a pun-loving mystery novelist:

What an asshole (I love him). there's something really funny about Tuff leaning against the tree with a hand on his hip. Poor guy. Astrid and Stormfly were clearly less amused than I was.

Ok let's talk about Hiccup motivating Dagur to open the door to Oswald's shelter. My little Dagcup heart was really soaring here. And look at the lighting!

LOOK AT HIM! LOOK AT HIS FACE!

Oooohh man, Dagur expressing guilt about his past and Hiccup trying to help him through it also really got to me.

Dagur: I was a villain!

Hiccup: No, you were a kid

Me: *crying*

Because yeah, Dagur in Riders of Berk/Defenders of Berk did horrible things, but he was also enabled by all the adults in his life who could have stepped up after Oswald left. I've already written (both in posts and in one of my Dagcup fics) about how being thrown into a dungeon as a kid only made Dagur a worse person (no one in the show talks about the scars on his face that weren't there before...). And There is clearly an opportunity for restorative justice when it comes to characters like Alvin and Eret that wasn't extended to Dagur despite the fact that they had already overpowered him and could have at least given him a choice between punishment and trying to make up for his actions. Anyway...let me not rant about that anymore.

Ok what's next...oh yeah! Astrid doing this:

Hilarious.

Um...ok so...I needed to screenshot this for uh...reasons. It's the um...the composition and the...the lighting and...yeah. All that stuff.

THE DRAWING OSWALD DID OF DAGUR AND HEATHER AS KIDS

oooooohhh my heart!

Look. At. My. Boy. He looks so happy and at peace after reading his father's letter.

Ok so again...the writers making very interesting decisions for Dagur's lines.

Dagur being funny and a little concerning again

I liked the colour scheme for this Gronckle

More Dagur appreciation.

Before the episode where Fishlegs helps Dagur fly Shattermaster, I would have assumed Dagur would make fun of Fishlegs for being a nerd -- but instead he appreciates it. I think their friendship is super adorable, and I wish we got to see more of it.

Fishie! He calls him Fishie! (I ship them a little sometimes tbh) I can see Dagur having a thing for nerds.

hehehe

and uh, let's close off with hiccup being hot and windswept

[dudadragneel]

And I'm back!

I hope you'll enjoy it!

This fic is based on a TikTok I saw!

THE ONLY HYUNG

Idols tend to receive tons of gifts from fans to the point where the companies issue a statement that they won't be accepting any more. But that also has to do with their safety, you never know what a sasaeng can do.

One day, Chan and Lee Know decided to go live to open some of the gifts they had recently received.

They had managed to get the staff away so they could be a little more carefree during the live, but still paying attention to what they said.

They enjoyed opening up all the presents and fan letters, some even made them tear up.

It was all going well until things unexpectedly took a turn for the worse. Before going live they had lunch and since eating Lee Know was feeling bloated, as if he ate a serving for three people.

As they went on he kept on taking his hand to his stomach and rubbing it in useless attempts to calm it down. But he kept his composure, as much as he could, the last thing he wanted was to get sick live.

Chan had picked up on Lee Know's obvious discomfort and placed a hand on his thighs, trying to comfort him without saying anything.

Lee Know tried his best to focus on his hyung's touch and the presents, but eventually, it got too much. His stomach was churning and his head started to hurt as well.

Before he even noticed he had lowered his head so it was now resting on his hand and Chan immediately stopped everything he was doing and turned his attention to Lee Know.

- hyung...I feel sick...

Chan got closer to him and started massaging his nape. He knew that if Lee Know admitted to feeling unwell, it meant it was really bad.

The staff that was monitoring the live from another room, had gone to the room where they were but before they could get in, Chan glared at them, and a single nod made them leave. He knew Lee Know wouldn't want attention right now.

- Do you want some water?

- No...I feel nauseous...

He said, bringing his hand to his stomach one more time and letting out a sigh. Chan grabbed Lee Know's hand and started rubbing it with his thumb.

- Do you wanna go to the bathroom?

- hm...I want to throw up...

- Let's go. Hyung will help you.

Chan placed his arms under Lee Know's and helped him up, being in a standing position was not something his stomach had agreed to so he lurched forward suppressing a gag with his hand.

- Hang on just a little more, okay?

He embraced his dongsaeng and guided him to the bathroom and into one of the stalls, locking the door behind them.

Usually, Lee Know would rather deal with this on his own but he acted like a dongsaeng when he was with Chan. The difference in how he acts is huge.

Lee Know bent over, hands on the edges for support, and started gagging unproductively.

He kept on rocking back and forth, spitting out saliva and retching, but whatever it was that made him feel like that was not coming up.

Chan was rubbing his back up and down, with the softest expression on his face.

- hyung...

Lee Know whined.

- I know it hurts... it'll be over soon.

Lee Know squeezed his eyes when his stomach cramped badly making him gag unproductively again.

Chan took his chance to help his dongsaeng by gently rubbing his abdomen in a circular motion.

Lee Know retched a few times before a wet burp triggered his sensitive stomach, bringing up partially digested food. Chan could swear he saw chunks of what was Lee Know's lunch from earlier and grimaced at the gross sight.

His stomach did not give him a break and before he could even breathe, it sent up a thicker stream of putrid vomit immediately followed by another making the poor boy go red from the effort and sway forward.

Chan tightened his hold on Lee Know so that the boy wouldn't fall and used his other hand to rub Lee Know's chest, trying to comfort the sick boy.

- Agh...

Lee Know groaned at the discomfort he was feeling before another bout of vomit gushed out with a wet burp, arching his back.

- You're doing good. Get everything out. It must have been the lunch. You'll feel better when it's all out of your system.

Lee Know spat out thick saliva and then his stomach gave him a break. But now his head was throbbing from the ordeal and he felt a little dizzy, like someone was squeezing his head.

- Minho-ah? Do you think you're done?

- Hyung...I need to sit down...

- Are you feeling dizzy?

- hm...

Lee Know just nodded swallowing hard. Chan carefully guided him so he was now sitting down on the floor. Thank God for the ridiculously clean bathrooms of the company.

The younger boy was kind of in a daze with how things went south in a matter of minutes, so Chan stepped up to keep on helping him, getting some toilet paper to wipe Lee Know's mouth.

- Thanks hyung...

- How are you feeling?

Chan asked sitting beside Lee Know who was resting his head on his hand again and kept on rubbing his back reassuringly.

- Sick...my stomach is churning and now my head hurts...

- Do you want to move to the studio?

- No... I feel like I'll throw up again...

- Okay. We'll stay here then. I'll be right here with you.

Chan reassured, grabbing Lee Know's hand and squeezing it.

- Agh..

Lee Know winced again...

- What is it?

- My head is throbbing....Hyung...can I rest my head on your hand?

- Of course.

Chan couldn't deny that he was taken aback by the sudden request, Lee Know being this vulnerable was a rare sight, one that was mostly only shown to Chan.

Lee Know rested his head on his hyung's hand, allowing the whole weight to be held by Chan. The pressure against his forehead miraculously helped with the throbbing pain.

Even so, Chan kept rubbing Lee Know's back, and for a while, the young boy seemed to have calmed down.

- Minho-ah, were you feeling like this before?

- Only after lunch...my stomach felt too full...

- I think it might've been the lunch.

The young boy was still resting his head on his hyung's hand when he started shivering a bit. Chan could feel Lee Know's forehead was starting to feel hot and that was an indicator that this wasn't a case of food not sitting well, it was most likely food poisoning.

- It's cold in here...

- I think you're starting to run a fever, Minho-ah. I'm pretty sure this is food poisoning.

- Great.

Lee Know said, clearly getting mad at the situation. He hated feeling sick, weak, and vulnerable but he felt safe to feel like this when he was with Chan.

The chills just wouldn't stop and his stomach was determined to get everything out.

It cramped badly again making him gag, startling Chan a bit, who was still holding the boy's head.

- Hyung...I'm gonna be sick...

He said weakly gagging again on his hand and failing to contain a bit of liquid that escaped his mouth but thankfully hit the floor and didn't get on his clothes. He already felt too weak so Chan had to help him to the toilet, holding his forehead and keeping the boy's hair away from his eyes.

Lee Know didn't even have time to think before his stomach contracted making more vomit rush up his throat. The thick wave that came out still had chunks of food, given that he had just eaten, and it triggered another wave that was followed by another one leaving him breathless.

- You're really not okay.

Chan said, somewhat impressed by how quickly his symptoms worsened, which meant that Lee Know's immune system was not in good condition.

The older boy kept on rubbing Lee Know's back and then moved to his chest when he choked, the bout that followed made food come out of his nose as well.

Fuck. He cursed inside, today just wasn't his day, and if it was really food poisoning, then this suffering would last a few days.

He straightened his back and took a deep breath in, trying to control his body, but gagged a few times before he was over the toilet one more time retching up what felt like it was yesterday's dinner.

After this bout he was dry heaving, just barely bringing up thick saliva and bile. Chan decided to flush the toilet before the stench and sight triggered Lee Know's stomach again.

- Grab my hand.

Chan offered but he didn't even need to, as Lee Know did that immediately, trying to take deep breaths to control the nausea that persisted.

- Come on, breathe with me, just like what we did that day.

Lee Know was still squeezing Chan's hand as he was guided through the breathing exercise. A few minutes after, he was more calm.

- Better?

- Yeah...

- Do you feel like you're gonna puke again?

- No...not now at least.

- Do you wanna move to the studio?

- Yeah...hyung, can you help me up? I feel dizzy...

- Sure, come on.

Chan placed his arms under Lee Know's again and lifted him, most of the boy's weight being held by his hyung.

- Let's rinse your mouth first.

While Lee Know did that, Chan wiped the sweat off his damp forehead and only then noticed that Lee Know's face was already pretty flushed because of the fever.

And the dancer couldn't deny, his whole body ached because of the fever, even Chan's hold on him hurt.

The oldest carefully guided Lee Know to his studio and lay him on the couch, covering his shivering body with a blanket and leaving a bin nearby.

- Minho-ah, hyung will go tell the manager what happened and see what we'll do okay?

- Yes...

When Chan got to the practice room, he was met with worried eyes, that were clearly asking what happened without saying a word.

- Chan-hyung, where were you?

- You were doing a live with Lee Know hyung, right?

- Yeah. Kids, gather here. Lee Know got sick, he probably has food poisoning. He threw up a couple of times and he's running a fever.

- Where is he?

- I took him to my studio, that's the place where he'd get more privacy.

At that time, their manager came into the room and upon noticing one member missing went straight to the gathered group.

- What happened? Where Lee Know-ssi?

- He got sick during the live. He threw up a few times and he's running a fever. I'm guessing it's food poisoning. Should we take him to the hospital?

- Going to the hospital can be a hassle, especially because of the possibility of encountering fans and god forbid, saesengs. Let's take him home and see if we can make him stay hydrated and fed, if in two days he doesn't manage to keep anything down, well take him.

- Okay.

- Since you have no official schedules, if you want to you can go home as well kids.

- I think Lee Know-hyung would want to keep his privacy for a while. We'll go have lunch and go back home later.

- Okay then.

The manager said, leaving the room to inform the other staff about the situation.

- Kids, can you gather Lee Know's thing for me? I'll go check on him.

- Yes, hyung.

Chan promptly left the room, worried about the sick dongsaeng in his studio. Opening the door, he found Lee Knows hunched over the couch spilling more of his stomach's content into the bin.

He went to his side, sitting on the edge of the couch, repeating the same process from earlier, holding his forehead and rubbing his back, and noticing that the fever had worsened, he could feel the heat through Lee Know's clothes.

- Hyung...it hurts...

- I know... we'll take you home in a few minutes okay?

- Okay.

- Can I dispose of this? Or are you gonna vomit again?

- I feel empty...but the nausea is still here...

- Okay.

Chan went to the bathroom and quickly returned.

- The boys gathered your things, the managed will take us home.

Lee Know stood out his arms so Chan could help him sit up and then waited a few seconds to see if he would throw up again.

- You good?

- Yeah...

- Want me to carry you?

Lee Know's face which was already red due to the fever had gotten even more red.

- Uhm...

He hummed in agreement, head down a little embarrassed. Chan just smiled fondly, even though Lee Know couldn't see.

The leader positioned himself kneeling in front of Lee Know so he could climb on his back, wrapping his arms around his hyun and burying his face.

Chan walked out of his studio and was greeted by their manager holding Lee Know's bag and a big coat which he used to cover Lee Know who was still shivering.

Thankfully their van was parked in the garage so no chance of paparazzi.

Chan settled Minho inside the car and sat beside him, pulling his head so it was resting on his shoulder.

- Manager-nim, do we have a plastic bag?

- I think we do, hold on.

The manager looked inside the glove box and found a plastic bag from one of the many grocery shopping he did with the kids, and handed it to Chan.

- If you feel sick, just let me know okay?

- hmm...

Lee Know just hummed, his fever making him sleepy and dizzy. Chan offered his hand for the sick boy to hold and he did it without hesitation. And again Chan was surprised by how hot he felt, it was high enough to mess with his breathing, and they didn't have a thermometer in the studio so he had no idea how high it was.

A few minutes into the ride home, Lee Know felt increasingly nauseous, burping wetly from time to time. Then he felt something creeping up his chest, a foul taste in his mouth.

He squeezed Chan's hand as he began to swallow convulsively, not wanting to throw up in front of their manager.

- Are you feeling nauseous again?

Lee Know just nodded, swallowing hard and then suppressing a gag, his stomach clearly mad at him for trying to swallow it down.

- Don't hold it in, Minho-ah. He's seen us sick before.

Chan reassured, not letting go of Lee Know's hand and putting the bag under his chin.

The boy helplessly ducked his head closer to the bag just in time for a wet burp to bring up a wave of putrid liquid hitting the bag. Lee Know kept squeezing Chan's hand, that was the only thing keeping him sane and grounded at the moment. Another queasy burp brought up another mouthful of vomit, and by now both he and Chan were thinking he was vomiting everything he ate during the week.

- We're almost there Lee Know-ssi.

Lee Know Just spat out some thick saliva and then just leaned his whole weight on Chan, who was holding the dirty bag, wanting to get rid of it as soon as possible, before the stench filled the car.

When they arrived at the dorms, the manager quickly got out of the car and went to Chan's side to get the bag and dispose of it.

- Minho-ah. We're home.

Chan said softly, caressing the sick boy's arm in an attempt to wake him up. Lee Know was barely conscious but he managed to move so he was sitting on the edge of the car's seat for Chan to pick him up.

- Here we go. Are you okay? Do you feel nauseous?

- No...

- Okay, I'll start moving then.

The manager carried their stuff while Chan carried a flushed face Lee Know, who also looked a little pale.

Entering the dorm, Chan sat Lee Know on the couch and the manager put their things in their bedrooms.

- Call me if you need anything, okay? I'll leave you two alone. Get better soon, Lee Know-ssi.

- Thanks, hyung.

Lee Know said before ducking his head and looking between his knees, he brought a hand to his stomach and sighed. Chan had gone to the bedroom to get Lee Know a fresh set of clothes and a thermometer.

- Let me take your temperature and then I'll help you take a bath, okay?

- yes...

Just as Chan suspected, the fever was really high 38.8°C.

- Minho-ah, we need to cool you down and we need to try to take some medicine, okay?

Just the thought of having to take a pill and most likely taste it was enough to trigger his stomach.

- hyung...

Lee Know called grabbing Chan's arm for dear life.

- bathroom...

He already felt something coming up his throat so he didn't manage to say a proper sentence.

- Come on.

Chan promptly helped his dongsaeng up, grabbed the change of clothes, and rushed to the bathroom with him.

Lee Know went straight to the toilet, vomit spewing out without much control and getting on the edges and the floor.

- Don't worry about that, hyung will clean it up.

Chan reassured placing the clothes on the sink and then going to Lee Know's side to rub his back and his chest for the nth time that day. Chan was scared at how much content was still coming out after the few rounds from earlier, he was getting afraid they'd have to take him to the hospital. As the oldest hyung, he just wanted his dongsaeng's well-being but avoiding the hospital is something everyone wanted.

As Lee Know continued to puke his guts out, Chan prepared his bath.

When he was done, Chan helped him out of his sweaty clothes and helped him into the shower, thankfully they had a bathtub because Lee Know was in no state to keep standing.

- Minho-ah, do you want hyung to wash your hair?

- please...

All this cuteness and vulnerability just showed how awful he was feeling. Chan carefully washed his hair and hoped the bath would help reduce his fever.

- Thanks, hyung

- Don't mention it. I'll let you take your bath now but I'll stay here just in case.

Lee Know slowly washed himself, the water hitting his skin making him wince from how much it stung. What usually would be a means to relax, today was almost a torture session.

When he was done, he surprisingly asked Chan for help getting dressed, and so his hyung did. He was now clean, wearing comfortable clothes and completely drained of his batteries.

- Come on, let's get you to bed. Do you feel like you're vomit again?

- No...not now...I'm tired...

- I know, let's go.

Chan cooed, wrapping his arms around Lee Know and guiding him to his bedroom. Since Lee Know shared a bedroom with another member, Chan thought it would be better for the young boy to sleep in his bedroom. That way he could keep an eye on him, and Lee Know could be more comfortable since he didn't like to show this side to the others.

Lee Know lay down on his hyung's bed and was promptly covered with a blanket by him.

- I will get you an antiemetic first and see how you'll hold up, okay? You need to put something in your stomach, water, a sports drink, soup. I'll be right back.

The poor boy's fever was so high, it was tearing up his eyes, and his head was still throbbing. He just sunk into the pillow and closed his eyes to ease some of the pain until Chan came back.

- Minho-ah. Here take these and let's wait.

- Hyung...my head is still throbbing...

- I'll sim the lights for you. let's see if the antiemetics work, then you'll try to eat something so I can give you painkillers, okay?

- Yes...

Chan stayed with Lee Know in the bedroom and within a few minutes the medication seemed to have worked.

- Do you think you can stomach some soup? Or bread? It might help better than soup actually.

- Bread...

He answered weakly, eyes half open.

Chan came back with a few slices of bread and gave them to Lee Know, who hesitantly took it.

- Just a few bites okay?

The older boy helped Lee Know to sit up on the bed, he was wearing a black hoodie and was half-covered with a blanket. Lee Know was fairly muscular but to Chan, at that moment, he looked so tiny.

He sat at the edge of the bed and stayed with Lee Know while the poor boy took small bites and slowly ate the slices.

- How do you feel? Nauseous?

- No...feels settled...for now.

- That's good.

Chan set the tray aside and placed his hand on Lee Know's forehead.

- It's still high. Let me check it.

The thermometer showed almost the same temperature from earlier, 38.5°C.

- it's still pretty high. Do you think you can stomach some pills?

- Yes...

- Take them with a sports drink, that way you won't feel the taste.

Chan quickly left and came back with the medication and the drinks. Lee Know took them and gagged but managed to swallow it. They waited a few seconds to see if he'd vomit but it didn't happen.

Lee Know was falling asleep even while sitting, so Chan carefully laid him down on the bed, placed an ice pack on his forehead, and covered him before leaving the room to eat something and get a mattress.

Then he was met with the rest of the kids who had just returned home.

- Hyung! How's Lee Know-hyung?

- He threw up again but after taking some medication, he managed to eat something. He was pretty tired so he's asleep now. He'll stay in my room for the time being, okay?

- Okay hyung.

- Let's just keep quiet. I don't want to wake him up.

They all had dinner, took a shower, and then went to do their own stuff but before telling Chan to tell Lee Know they wished he gets better soon.

Chan entered the bedroom and found Lee Know still asleep, his breathing was a bit off but it was due to the fever. He hoped the sick boy would sleep well through the night, but those prayers were not heard.

Chan checked on Lee Know one more time before going to bed himself but was woken up after 1h or so.

Lee Know was sleeping rather peacefully when his stomach decided to remind him he was going through a food poisoning process.

It started churning again, in complete turmoil making Lee Know toss and turn on the bed but no position was comfortable enough. He lay on his back and squeezed his hands in an attempt to control the urge to vomit.

It didn't work, he turned to his side and that must've been the worst decision he made that day. As soon as he turned his stomach jumped shooting up its contents way too fast, Lee Know rushed out of the room, hand covering his mouth so he wouldn't make a mess on the floor, that would be too humiliating.

He got to the bathroom, hurriedly closing the door behind him and bending over the toilet as a stream of bread mixed with stomach juice gushed out, immediately followed by another bout.

The motion of getting up so quickly and being bent over made him feel really dizzy, so before he could actually fall, he managed to sit down next to the toilet. His stomach was cramping badly, sending queasy burps repeatedly but not actually making him vomit, even though he felt like there were still things to come out.

He was starting to feel even more miserable than before, and he was sure his fever spiked again, even his clothes were hurting his skin.

He sat for a few seconds on the floor not sure of what to do, then he noticed his phone inside his hoodie pocket.

- Hyung. Can you come to the bathroom? Just need to know you're here.

Chan was already half awake when he got the message.

- Be right there.

He got up and made his way to the bathroom, but he didn't go in. He respected Lee Know's request of just being close, if the sick boy needed him inside with him, he'd say.

He sat by the door and gently ordered one of the members who had woken up to use the other bathroom, wanting to secure Lee Know's privacy as much as he could.

Chan kept hearing Lee Know retching over the toilet but never heard anything splashing in the water and he thought that maybe Lee Know had nothing else in his stomach.

But a few minutes later, he got another message.

- Hyung...come in, please...

Chan got up and politely knocked on the door, letting Lee Know know he was coming in.

Chan's heart dropped to his stomach when he saw Lee Know's state. His face was bright red from the fever that was obviously higher than before, he was sitting next to the toilet holding his stomach and with a pained expression on his face.

The leader locked the door behind him and walked up to Lee Know, grabbing his hand and feeling the heat of his skin.

- Minho-ah...

- hyung...it hurts...

Lee Know said, tears swelling up in his eyes. Chan immediately pulled him into an embrace, allowing him to break down if he needed to. It was a rare occurrence to see Lee Know cry, so whenever he needed to, Chan was always there to provide him the safe space he so much needed.

Lee Know broke down into sobs from frustration, pain, and embarrassment. Chan tightened his grip around him, gently rocking him from side to side, rubbing his back.

- It's okay. Hyung's got you.

When Lee Know finally calmed down, he kept looking down, still embarrassed by everything that was happening.

- hyung...I've been trying...but nothing's coming up...and it hurts so bad...

- Do you want hyung to help you?

- hmm.

Lee Know nodded shyly, hating to admit he was desperate for a comforting touch.

He leaned over the toilet, his stomach still cramping but only making him dry-heave and nothing came up.

Chan was by his side and rested his hand on Lee Know's abdomen and it felt heavenly for the sick boy. Because of his scar, Lee Know wasn't too comfortable with people touching his abdomen, but right now he really needed that.

- Can I press on it a bit? I think it'll help bring something up.

- please...

Lee Know pleaded, clearly done with how awful he felt, he was accepting every and any help.

Chan first started rubbing circles to soothe some of the pain and gently pressed the middle, earning a wince from Lee Know.

- I'm sorry...but it'll be over soon.

The motion seemed to be working as Lee Know started burping wetly and for a while, gagging unproductively.

Chan proceeded to press on his stomach until Lee Know retched wetly and a thick stream of putrid pale brown liquid hit the toilet water with a sickening sound, followed by another harsher one, leaving Lee Know breathless.

He coughed a few times because something got stuck in his throat, and Chan changed his approach to run his chest again as well as his back providing some comfort in the middle of the ordeal.

Another wet cough brought up small chunks of food mixing with the mess inside the bowl.

Lee Know scooted away from the toilet for a while, allowing Chan to flush it and get rid of the unsettling sight. He grabbed a few napkins to clean Lee Know's mouth and pulled the poor sick boy into his embrace so he could try to relax for a bit.

- I'm sorry hyung...

- You don't need to apologize.

- But I took over your room and now I can't even let you sleep...

- It's not your fault, Minho-yah. You had no idea you'd get food poisoning.

- What about the others?

- I made sure they'd stay away from the bathroom and my room, at least for now. I know you don't like much attention when you're sick.

- Thanks...I feel dizzy...

- It's because of the fever. Let me check your temperature again.

Chan took the thermometer from the cabinet and put it under Lee Know's arm.

- 39.1°C. It spiked.

It was obvious his fever got higher, he was looking red as a tomato, even his breathing felt hot, and despite wearing sweatpants and a hoodie he couldn't stop shivering.

- Minho-yah. Do you wanna take another shower? Or do you think you can stomach a fever reducer? If we don't get your temperature down, we'll have to go to the hospital.

As if on cue, Lee Know's stomach shot up what felt like it was the last of its contents barely giving him time to reach the toilet bowl, thankfully Chan helped him, otherwise he'd soil his clothes. The older boy gave him a glass of water so he could rinse his mouth and helped him brush his teeth.

- Thanks hyung...

- So, what do you wanna do?

- I don't wanna take another shower...my skin hurts every time something touches me.

- Then we'll try the pill again. Let's go back to the bedroom.

Chan offered a hand but Lee Know was far too exhausted to get up on his own, let alone walk.

- Come here, hyung will help you.

He put his arms under Lee Know's and carefully helped him to his feet but his legs almost instantly gave up on him.

- I'll carry you, okay?

- hmm.

Lee Know was in no state to protest, and honestly, he didn't want to. His hyung's presence and touch helped him more than Chan could imagine.

Chan hugged Lee Know and gently lifted him, one arm around his waist and the other around his legs. The image of a father carrying a son, that's how one would describe it.

He walked slowly to the bedroom, being extremely careful to not upset Lee Know's stomach, which seemed to have calmed down for a while.

He settled Lee Know on the bed and looked for a clean shirt and hoodie.

- Let's get you changed up. You sweat too much, your clothes are soaked.

Chan helped Lee know out of his hoodie and shirt and before putting on the clean ones, he wiped Lee Know's upper body, then helped him put on the new set.

- Can we take the medication now?

- Hmm

- Here, take one antiemetic and wait for a bit. Then take the fever reducer and another antiemetic.

Lee Know hesitantly took the pills from Chan's hand and contemplated for a bit, clearly afraid of vomiting again. He didn't want that, his whole body hurt because of the strain and the fever, and his throat was hurting as well, to the point his voice was raspy.

- Trust hyung, okay? You can keep it down, I know you can.

Chan reassured grabbing Lee Know's hand and started rubbing circular patterns.

Just like before, the first sip of water with the pill made him gag, but he managed to take everything.

Both he and Chan stayed sitting on the bed, waiting until Lee Know felt safe enough to lie down.

- How are you feeling? Still nauseous?

- just a bit...

- Do you wanna lay down?

- Yeah.

He lay down and Chan covered him, then lay down on the mattress next to the bed.

- Hyung...

He heard a soft whiny voice coming from above, it was Lee Know standing out his hand, after moving to the edge of the bed.

- What is it?

- Can you hold my hand?

- Of course.

Chan grabbed Lee Know's hand and just held it until he fell asleep. But he didn't let go, he knew Lee Know needed that, so he found a way of sleeping while holding his hand.

Thankfully, the medication seemed to have worked, at least for the night, because Lee Know slept until morning without any other incidents during the night.

When Chan woke up the first thing he did was check Lee Know's temperature.

- 38°C. It went down a bit, thank god.

He said quietly. Since Lee Know was in deep sleep, Chan quietly left the room to get breakfast and see the other kids.

- Good morning, hyung.

- Good morning kinds.

- How's Lee Know-hyung?

- He's still asleep. He managed to keep a few pills down yesterday, so his fever went down a bit, but it's still high.

- And you, hyung? How are you doing?

- I'm okay. He's got food poisoning, so I think we are all in the clear.

- Aren't you tired? We know you. We know you didn't get enough sleep.

- I'm doing good, kids. Don't worry about me. My concern now is getting Lee Know better.

Chan said walking to the kitchen to prepare something for him and a soup or some toast for Lee Know.

When he got back to the bedroom he found Lee Know sitting on the bed but still covered with the blanket, eyes puffy and face still red.

- Good morning.

- Good morning hyung...

Lee Know answered, voice raspy and weak, signs of a rough night.

- How are you feeling?

- Tired...

- And your stomach?

- A little nauseous but not that much...and a bit hungry.

- I made you some food. Wanna give it a try? There's soup and some toast.

- Can I try both?

- Sure, but don't force it. Take as long as you need. Want me to turn on the TV?

- Yeah.

Just like the previous night, Chan stayed in the bedroom with Lee Know as the boy slowly ate his meal. He then took the medications again and sunk into the bed, falling asleep almost immediately.

Chan left the room one more time and was met with six kids demanding him to rest. They knew Chan always took care of them, no matter what and he wouldn't say anything even if he was too tired.

- Hyung. You need to rest as well. We'll take turns.

- Thanks kids.

Chan said opening his arms to give all of them a big hug.

With that settled, Jisung was the first one to stay with Lee Know, the sick boy accepted cuddles from him and they helped him stay calm and asleep.

And just like they said, everyone took turns to stay with Lee Know and help him whenever he got sick the following days. They were some tiring 5 days for all of them, with Lee Know vomiting a few times during the day and night and his fever refusing to go lower than 37.5°C.

When the ordeal was over, they were all tired but relieved to see their dancer back to full health. Lee Know being one to not show his weak side to many, had to let go of his pride in order to get better, and deep inside he was grateful to all of them, especially his only hyung.

[fibromyalgicaf]

Journal prompts for people living with chronic illness(es)

What brings me joy and how can I incorporate more of it into my life?

One thing I should completely remove from my life is...

5 emotions I feel about my illness/disability

What could I ask for more help with?

5 things I CAN do

If I could go back to when I first got unwell/diagnosed, what advice would I give myself?

3 things that drain my energy, and how to avoid them in the future

5 things I'm proud of myself for

The moment a stranger changed my life

What I can let go of this week that no longer serves me

A societal expectation that I'm rejecting is...

Small things that make me happy

What I've achieved since my diagnosis that I didn't think I would

My ideal safe space would look like...

Negative beliefs about myself that I need to let go (and where those beliefs came from)

Small things in the world that are beautiful

A letter to my illness/disability

If I could jump through a portal into a fictional universe, I'd go to...

Things I'm learning to accept

My values are... / What qualities do I think are important and make for the best people?

Self-care practices that make me feel better, even on difficult days

A kind thing I can say to myself when I’m feeling low is...

If my pet could give me life advice, they would say...

Please add yours below or send me a message and I'll add it ✌️

[fairystar111]

fairystar111 Fic/AU Master List:

Hey guys I realized my blog is a little bit of a mess to scroll through so I made a master list of all my current works for my tumblr readers. This will be updated regularly with any new works. Also if you want to see new posts quickest follow me on Ao3 at fairystar111. I usually post things on there first since tumblr is a lot of formatting work tbh.

Series Title: The New Days

Fandom: Boku no Hero Academia

AU Summary: This is a dark platonic yandere Villains Win AU. In this AU the war broke out right after the stain arc and took everyone by surprise. The villains quickly won the battle and decided to take their spoils of war in the form of the students. Each part focuses on a different child and their new life with their captor. I'm not going to lie some of these are a little heavy(*cough*#6 *cough*) so make sure to read all tags please.

Status: Ongoing

Parts:

Dark New World : Prologue

Dead Man's Wish: Yandere Big Brother!Shigaraki takes Izuku after he receives a letter from Afo's confirming him as his son.

Heirs of Yesterday : Yandere!Dabi taking back what is his (Shouto) and forcing him to be the weak baby brother he left behind all those years ago.

Birds of a Feather: Yandere Villain Papa!Hawks takes his intern Tokoyami as his fledgling and uses his avian instincts against him to force him to submit.

Chain the Past: This one involves the entire Yandere!League of Villains taking other members of class 1A and forcing them to be guard dogs for their children.

Trapped in Heaven: Yandere Dad!Twice and Yandere Big Sister!Toga take Ochaco after she saves Toga and Himiko becomes infatuated(platonically) with saving her in return. Though their methods are unconventional and end up hurting Ochaco mentally.

Two of a Kind: Big Brother!Spinner takes Asui in a moment of weakness/loneliness looking for companionship and ends up regretting his decision. He tries to correct his mistakes but the rest of the Yandere!League of Villains are not so quick to let go.

Series Title: Meant to be

Fandom: Boku no Hero Academia

AU Summary: This is a dark platonic yandere Omega-Verse AU. That focuses on Omega pup!Katsuki Bakugo being kidnapped by the League of Villains and forced to be their pup. Specifically Yandere!Alpha!Shigaraki and Yandere!Omega!Dabi's child. The rest of the league view him as a pack pup with Toga seeing him as her little brother.

Status: Ongoing

Parts:

Meant to be Ours: This story focuses on Bakugo's struggles with his omega classification along with his fight against both Stockholm Syndrome and his own underused suppressed instincts.

Meant to Be AU Omega-verse Guidebook!: A guide to understanding the fundamentals of the Meant to be AU

Series Title: Baby Blues

Fandom: Boku no Hero Academia

AU Summary: This is a dark Post-War AU focusing around the Todoroki family. In this AU Yandere!Endeavor is not too hurt during the war and still the Number One Hero after it. He becomes mentally unstable after seeing two of his son's almost die in war that he decides to take Shouto out of UA.

Status: Ongoing

Parts:

Oh Baby Blue don't you know I love you?: Enji is trying to be a good father in his own deranged way by locking Shouto away at home and keeping him away from hero work for his own safety. He convinces everyone that Shouto is mentally unwell that that is why he is gone. He forcibly cares for Shouto drugging him to keep him weak and treating him like a child, doing the things he never did the first time around.

[angstymdzsthoughts]

I just seeen this post:(https://angstymdzsthoughts.tumblr.com/post/695113850639499264/i-just-saw-a-post-about-nhs-going-to-lqr-for-help)

And i want to add more!

During his time in seclusion, Xichen is really not well. He has been betrayed in the worst way, his trust and kindness have been abused for years by A-Yao.

When he was suffering of his uncle's rejection (that he didn't understand. He didn't understand what he did bad, why his uncle seemed to not like him anymore so suddenly), A-Yao was always there to recomfort him, telling him it was a misunderstanding.

Except it wasn't a misunderstanding…His uncle thought he was A-Yao's accomplice. The only present parental figure he had all his life seen him as capable of so horrible acts. It hurted so much. Maybe that's why he stopped to be so patient and gentle to only give him lectures and judgments. For years he suffered of his rejection that he didn't understand, for years he craved the affection who had vanished. Affection that his uncle gave Wangji, but not him.

And now he was alone.

Mingjue was dead. A-Yao had never really cared about him, had used him, had betrayed him, had the audacity to say he had never wanted to hurt him. Wangji was busy living the love story he always wanted. The elders didn't care. His uncle didn't love him anymore.

He stops eating, he hopes (a tiny and desperate hope) that his uncle will get worried over it, that he'll come to see him. He just wants that someone shows him that he's loved, that someone sincerely care about him. That someone cares over him and loves him without wanting anything in return.

But nobody came.

After a conference, Wangjj returns to Cloud Recess with Wei Wuxian and decides to visit his brother, because he never answered at his letters (because Qiren and the elders didn't give the letters to Xichen, as punishment). Lan Qiren tries to distract him, saying that seclusion means isolement, but Wangji is subborn. He's horrified to see his brother so pale, so thin and so depressed.

"Why are you caring?" "You"re my brother, of course i care!" "Don't lie, you think too i'm guilty. that i helped HIM. You wish i was dead in the temple too"

It doesn't take long to Wangji to understand. His uncle really thougth that his brother helped to kill Mingjue, when it was obvious that he was in love with him? That he didn't care that Jin Rusong dies, when he adored this child? That his brother who had always fought for justice authorizes Jin Guangyao's horrible actions? He remembers how much his brothers are broken, horrified, angry in the temple. How was so broken that he almost considerate to die with Jin Guangyao, because he couldn't forgive himself to have been so blind.

He also remember how his uncle has suddenly stopped his kind advices toward Xichen, to become stern and cold, like if Xichen had done something bad. How he refused to give him even a bit of affection. How Xichen had, little to little, stopped to ask for advices since he had only lectures and judgement when he asked for help. He remembers to have see the sadness in his brother's eyes when Wangji had the right to have affection but that him was rejected without reason. How Xichen must have felt so alone and abandonned. And him didn't see that before, or rather he didn't understand.

He felt angry. How his uncle could believe that Xichen had helped Jin Guangyao to kill the man he loved? How could he think that his brother could be so horrible? It was obvious that he was manipulated and emotionally abused.

And now he re-think how his uncle and the elders seems to think that he should take the post of Sect Leader at his brother's place. He felt really angry: since how much time his uncle planned that? How he tried to stop him to visit his brother.

"Brother, come" "I'm in seclusion, i can't" "You're sick, you need help"

He bring back his brother in his home and they speak, a lot.

When Lan Qiren comes to the house, learning that Xichen is really unwell, Wei Wuxian blocks the door "ho? now you care about your nephew? You realize he's a victim of Jin Guangyao, who was a master of manipulation and only showed his helpless side to your nephew!

"it's not your business"

"It is if it hurt Lan Zhan. And i'm pretty sure that Nie Huaisang didn't ask your to emotionally abuse Xichen-ge"

" I didn't..."

Wangji comes and asks his husband to watch his brother while he speaks with his uncle.

"You treated him so badly fore 10 years uncle" "I thought he was helping…." "That he had helped to kill the man he loved with all his heart?" snaps Wangji "that he was so horrible that he let a man marry his own sister and kill his son? that he would have let Jin Guangyao kill so much people?" "Wangji" "NO! You WEREN'T here in the temple. You DIDN'T see his face when he learned everything, when he sees Nie Mingjue's body, when Jin Guangyao admitted his sins. He has been manipulated, used, his trust and kindness have been abused for years!" He takes a deep breath. "and all those years, i thought you felt bad about my punishment but you just thought my brother was a traitor and tried to tear us apart, to make me sect leader at the end. To win my trust so i would reject him too. But hear me, i will NOT become the sect leader, my brother is the leader and i'll never take his place! I just replace him while he's sick. The ones who will try to hurt him again will be banished from the sect!"

"Wangji!"

"Between you and him, i choose him."

"Wangji"

"I'll forgive you the day where my brother will forgive you for the unfair and cruel way you treated him"

"I told you, i thought he helped..."

"Except he wasn't uncle"

And then Wangji looks at Qiren with a disgusted look, turn his back to him, and close the door of his house behind him.

The Post that this is from

[levis-coffeecup]

chapter 22| Lovesick

WC-3.9k

Summary

The underground is filthy and dark. Dim lights, dull alleys, and desperate hearts. A place Levi knows as well as the back of his hand, and a place he would do anything to get out of.

Chapters of life roll by and with the turn of a page, things drastically change. In front of him is the opportunity to live on the surface. And the flimsy bridge that he has to cross. From an uncivil criminal to a disciplined soldier.

But life on the surface seems tougher amidst all the mockery, civilities, and the gaping hole left in his heart, after the demise of his dear friends Isabel and Farlan.

Content/Warnings

canon- compliant, canon-typical violence, spoilers for No Regrets OVA, descriptions of PTSD, grief, depression, heavy angst and themes, strong language, self-hate, physical assault.

Author’s Note

Hi guysss!!!

I'm sorry it's been soo long. But the next chapter is finally out!!

It's similar to the Trost fair chapter, if anyone remembers... but the scene is rewritten. And scene 2 and 3 are completely different! Also, if you find any grammatical errors please comment about it to let me know!

Song for this chapter is Seneca by Novo Amor.

Chapters

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22

Masterlist | Playlist | Other Works

SEPT 847

The streets are muddy, the clouds are gray, and Levi shakes off the muck from his boots as he stands in front of Mae's door.It's been a minute since he's been knocking on her door, and still there's been no answer.

His lips pull into a frown. As much as he hates to admit this, he likes to be welcomed by her jumping into his arms.

His fingers slide down to his pocket, bringing out the spare keys to her home that he always keeps. And he opens the door.

The walls have been repainted yellow. She's knitted colorful pillow covers to keep on the settee. His favorite books are all stacked on the shelf. And the kitchen is always stocked with all kinds of tea.

His gaze turns soft as he takes it all in. Mae has taken her sweet time to make her house theirs.

He climbs up the stairs, making his way to the bedroom.

The curtains are drawn close. And Mae sits on the bed, huddled in a thick blanket. Her face is almost red, and her eyes are dull, clearly unwell. The sight makes Levi freeze at the door frame.

"I knew it was you...," Mae beams with pride, her voice scratchy. "I could tell by your footsteps."

Her forehead is burning up, and it hurts to smile through the pain. But she's so ecstatic to see Levi, she can't help herself. "I want a kiss." Her lips shift into a cheeky grin, and she stretches her arms forward, towards him.

And Levi leans on the doorframe, meters away from her. Unsure of what to feel.

They've only kissed a few times before. But the thought still knocks the wind right out of his lungs.

"N-no, you are sick. Stay away from me." He somehow manages.

"Humanity's strongest can handle a little fever, can't he?" She teases.

"Tch.. y-you're so gross." He pivots and walks away. Only to come around a minute later. With his hands cleaned, and his clothes fresh.

"You're burning up." He scolds as he keeps her hand on her forehead. "How the hell did you end up like this?"

"The weather change-" she coughs.

"Ssh," he silences her off. "Don't talk, your voice is almost gone."

He goes back down again and comes up with some water in a bowl and a clean napkin. "How many times have I told you to not be so careless," His voice is almost angry, but Mae doesn't miss the concern woven in it. "And why didn't you write to me and let me know that you were unwell?"

The tray is set down on the nightstand. And he drags the chair from her work desk, to sit next to her.

"It's just been two days, and a letter takes a week to reach... I'm sure I would have been fine by then."

"Tch," Levi frowns. He dips the napkin into the bowl of water. Squeezing it out and putting it on her forehead. It's cooling, and Mae shuts her eyes close. Warmed by his love.

"Should I call a doctor?" He suggests, a few minutes later.

"Levi! I am a doctor..." she retorts.

"Well congratulations then Ms. Doctor, for falling ill." He grumbles, pissed. The space between his brows is crinkled, and he seems incredibly focused keeping a wet cloth on her forehead.

The relentlessness in his actions gives away his stress.

And Mae doesn't understand why he's getting so paranoid over this. It's a simple fever, that's all, nothing she hasn't had before.

It takes her a minute to realize that his mother died of sickness, too. And perhaps what is making him act this way are the wounds that have been left long forgotten.

Her face softens, and she places her hand over his lap.

"Take a breath Levi. I'm not going anywhere, anytime soon." Her hand lands on his, she gently squeezes it in reassurance.

And Levi's icy blue eyes widen for a millisecond, before he catches himself. Then he grunts, pressing his lips into an unamused line.

"Try to sleep, instead of staring at me," grumbles. He grabs her shoulders as he helps her lay on her back. Then he tucks her in the blanket, for good measure

"You're not mad that I'm unwell, right? I know you're here to take a break... but I don't have anything prepared as I was sick yesterday too..."

"No shithead, why would I be?" he questions, as he blinks at her. There are words buried in his lips that are hesitant to come out. But somewhere down the line, he knows they'll make her feel better.

"I," his voice trails off. "I-I'm glad t-that I'm here and you're not alone, having to take care of yourself."

And Mae's eyes light up. She's blessed indeed, to have someone as wonderful as him next to her.

Her fingers interlock with his, as he sits on the bed, next to her.

"Baby," she sighs. Tempted to bring his hand to her lips and peck it.

"Tch, is that your way of calling me short," Levi's face turns serious all of a sudden, and he raises a brow.

"What noo!" she exclaims, "Raz found herself a guy, and he calls her baby."

"That's such an uncommon thing to call your partner, is he a pedophile or something?"

Laughter escapes past Mae's throat at that. Trust Levi to make the cutest things dark. And then she starts coughing.

He turns her to the side, and starts rubbing her back.

"But isn't it cute." she pouts.

"Tch," Levi clicks his tongue in disdain.

"But Leviii, " Mae huffs, her brown eyes sparkle playfully. " I don't want to be 'brat' anymore, I want to be 'baby'."

"Well unfortunately for me you are a brat and a whiny baby as well." Levi smirks.

"I knew you weren't going to give in to this, which is why I'll find cute nicknames for you instead!"

She ponders for a minute.

"Sweet cake?"

He frowns.

"Okay Mr.Frown Face, how about buttercup then?"

"You're horrible at this" he blinks.

Thunder cackles and raindrops run down the window like tiny rivers. The overcast sky dims the room further. The sound of rain fills up the space, but the dreary weather doesn't dull the mood.

And when Levi places the napkin on Mae's forehead again, her heart races.

"Cupcake?"

"Ew."

"Pudding?"

"Not at all."

"Sugar Plum."

"Mae," Levi sighs, exasperated and partially embarrassed. "I'm an army officer who has killed hundreds of titans with ease. I'm Humanity's Strongest for god sake!"

And Mae sports a toothy, teasing smile. Fully knowing she's the only one who can get away with this. "But... but you were Humanity's Cutest before you were Humanity's Strongest."

And Levi looks back at her. Turning pink and ridden speechless.

"Okay how about pumpkin pie then?"

"I'm not the menu card of the bakery you dream of opening in the future."

"But all my desserts will be inspired by you and you only."

And Levi tries his best to act annoyed. But she has flustered him too much now, much against his own wishes.

He decides that someday if they ever end up having kids, he'll never let Mae name them.

━━━━━━━━━━━━

Sunlight slips past the narrow gaps in the curtains, making the dim room a tad bit bright. The morning sun rises past the trees, making the world get up from its slumber.

And the first thing Mae sees when her eyes open is Levi.

He's on the chair next to her, fanning her body.

Sitting exactly where he was, before she drifted to sleep.

And slowly the clogs in her brain start spinning.

"Levi," she gasps, almost horrified. "Did you not sleep at all?"

"I'm alright..." he mutters, but there's a softness in his gaze. "You're doing so much better now, I guess the wet cloth helped."

Surprisingly, he's not grumpy after not sleeping the entire night. Instead there's a tiny smile playing on his lips. He's happy she's gotten better.

"If you're feeling good, I'll do the other chores then." He says after a few minutes.

And Mae sits up at that, propping herself on her elbows. "I'll help too, my fever is almost gone-"

"No, you rest," he shushes her off by keeping his hand on her forehead. "Take it easy today."

And truly, Levi doesn't let her lift a finger.

He mops the floor. Cleans the cobwebs on the ceilings. Dusts the shelves.

And Mae watches, stuck to her bed.

Now he's sitting on the carpet, with his back to her. Folding all the freshly laundered clothes.

Guilt gnaws at the bottom of her stomach. He's stepping out for a mission the day after tomorrow. And yet she's making him work so much.

It's him who deserves rest, not her.

"I'm sorry for making you do all of this." her voice comes out timid. Still hoarse from the cough that has accumulated in her throat .

His actions pause, and he thinks for a moment, before answering. "Actually I like it... Makes me think of the type of life we would have if the titans didn't exist...Just the two of us, living together."

And Mae doesn't see the smile on his face as he stares down at the pile of clothes. She thinks it lies he's spouting to make her feel better. After all, who likes doing household chores... she hates them for sure.

And so she gets up from her bed, determined to help. But the mirror attached to the adjacent wall makes her stop in her tracks.

A frown forms as she catches her reflection in the mirror.

Her hair is oily and matted against her scalp. And she's not as toned as Levi in any way. Her thighs touch and her belly is not flat. Insecurities crawl underneath her skin.

"Why don't you date someone like Petra?" She asks, thinking out loud.

"Mae." Levi swivels around to see her. "She's not even an adult. How could you think something like that?" He speaks distastefully.

"But she'll grow up, you know... She's pretty, she's strong, and she's got a good body for sure."

Moisture wells up in her eyes. It's not just the guilt of him doing all the chores, it's something that has been troubling her for long.

And Levi sits baffled. He has no idea where this is coming from.

"It's so hard Levi... dating long distance," she sniffs. Her gaze still doesn't come off from the mirror in front of her. As she stands, so obsessed with finding faults in her. "You would be better off dating someone who's in the Corps. That way they'll at least be there for you when you need them, they can help you with all your work, and every message won't take a week to get delivered."

And Levi is on his feet in an instant. His arms reach out to her, and he pulls her into a hug

"Is it becoming too hard for you? Do you want to end it?" he whispers, masking his own heartbreak at the thought.

"It's hard," she ruminates. "But that's not the problem... The problem is that you deserve better." Her voice breaks, and another tear slips past her eye.

Because she sees all the women in town gawk about Humanity's Strongest and how attractive he must be. And she sees all the children that find their hero in him. She's nothing in comparison.

And one day she does hope to be slightly successful. With her own clinic, and a few regular patients. But for now she's just some doctor at a hospital in town. And her dreams seem so far-fetched.

"Look at me Levi... I'm not the best doctor, I'm not the smartest, and I'm not the prettiest... And you're Humanity's Strongest... Don't you see it? You can do so much better than me."

Their gaze meets in the mirror. And Levi stands stumped as he sees how moist her have turned moist.

He's never compared her with any other person he's met.

"But don't you see it?" He questions as if he's stating out the obvious. "You're the closest thing I have to normalcy." And normal sounds so wonderful to him. She doesn't have to be any more capable, or beautiful, she just has to be.

Of course there must be people who are better than her in many ways. But comfort, warmth, home, these are all words he only attaches to her.

His finger reaches below her chin, and he turns her face away from the mirror. Making her look at him. "You're more than your looks Mae, and you're more than your career... I hope you know that."

And she closes her eyes, as he presses a kiss on the top of her head.

"C-can I sit next to you while you fold those clothes?"

"Yes."

"I-I thought y-you were mad at me":

"Why would I be mad, silly?" He says as he ruffles her hair, making it a bigger mess.

"Don't let such crappy thoughts stuff up your head." He flicks her forehead. The next morning Mae wakes up feeling much better. Her throat still feels sore, and a mild headache still troubles . But there is peace in her heart and Levi in her arms.

That's all that matters.

━━━━━━━━━━━━

The night is young, and Mae and Levi have returned back home from their impromptu dinner date.

The curtains are drawn shut. The hearth is warm, cackling with fire. And Mae sits on the bed, changed into something more comfortable.

She was feeling better, and she really wanted to treat Levi to a good meal, before he leaves tomorrow morning.

Next to her bed is the sketch of her and Levi that she got at the Trost Fair. With her smile so big, it makes her eyes squint. Levi obviously sits with his poker face, and his arms crossed in front of him. But Mae loves the way the painter has colored his cheeks and the tips of his ear, slightly red.

A few minutes pass by, and the gears of the bathroom door shift into place.

The door is nudged open, and Levi slips inside. Fresh from his bath. With his inky wet hair clinging on to his face, and pearls of water still dripping down them.

Mae places the sketch in her hands, on the nightstand and withdraws a bottle of essential oil from the drawer. She raises a brow, slightly shaking the bottle as she gestures to levi.

And Levi feigns a sigh as he ambles over to her, and sits in front of her. With his back to her chest, and his butt positioned in between her legs.

She takes the towel that rests on his shoulder, and gently rubs it on his head. To dry his hair that is still dripping wet.

Mae likes to do all these small things for him, from buttoning the shirt he wears to tying the cravat around his neck. It makes her happy. Like she's being of some help to him.

"Are you using all the oils and seasonings I gave you?" She asks as she tosses the towel aside, and picks up the bottle of oil kept on her nightstand.

She pours some of the essential oil onto her palms Then she slides her oil-slathered fingers through his hair strands

"I try to," Levi mumbles, and his eyes flutter close, as he feels her fingers work their way through his scalp. "Tch, my hair is greasy again now... I hate this so much."

"Levi this is expensive, and Lavender really helps in aiding sleep, so you better shut up and follow the routine I have set for you." She speaks with seriousness. "And you take a shower like 5 times a day anyways."

And Levi knows the only say he has in this matter, is to complain, and then comply. So he closes his eyes, and enjoys the sensation of her fingers running through his hair.

And Mae feels sentimental too. She wants to make time pause.

Because when the sun rises tomorrow morning, Levi will be far away from her. Outside the walls. It's a feeling that she's still not used to. Of not knowing whether this moment she's spending with him will be their last together.

"Levi..." she calls out. "You remember the day when you became Humanity's Strongest... back when I was working in the Survey Corps? ... You came back injured and I was treating you."

Levi hums, in correspondence.

"That day Petra told me, that you fight as if you have nothing to lose.... But now that we're together. Does that change anything? Does that mean that you have something you are scared to lose?"

The question renders Levi quiet for some minutes. Or maybe it's that he knows the answer fully well, but he is just hesitant.

He drums his fingers on to his chin, and after some serious contemplation, he finally answers."You are i-important to me Mae, but you aren't more important than humanity... And I do have something to lose now, but I can't let that change the way I fight.. Because if I start fighting like a person who is scared to lose what he has, then humanity might lose as well, and that is something that everyone fears."

It's the bitter truth, the pill that's hard to swallow. She's fallen in love with a man, who will always keep his duties first.

She slides her arms around his chest, and pulls him closer. His back presses her chest, and she rests her chin on his shoulder. "That's the right decision. After all, I'm just a person."

Her fingers graze across his bare chest, caressing all the scars his battles have given him. The moment is delicate yet heavy with emotions.

And Mae decides that it's time to release the feelings that have consumed her heart since forever.

"I love you Levi." The words are tender, like a kiss on his nape.

He doesn't have to say it back.

He doesn't even have to turn his head and look at her.

Because love is the softness in his eyes when he looks at her. And the sweetness in his emotions when he comes home to her.

And Levi closes his eyes as he relishes the moment. It feels safe here in her arms, like no force in this world can harm him. And for once he doesn't hide the red that settles on his cheek.

"Thank you..." he speaks with a certain heaviness.And a sigh escapes his mouth, as he realizes that his weekend getaway is close to an end. Just a few hours from now he'll be outside the walls

Sometimes he fantasizes about what it would be like if he wasn't in the Survey Corps. Just him and her, living their life as a simple couple.

To divide all the household chores, and cook meals together. To go on dates on the weekend, and to bicker like a couple. Marry her, after a few years and maybe have little versions of him and her run around the house.

It's a far fetched dream, but Levi can't help but indulge in the thought for a couple of minutes.

The Survey Corps, the title of Humanity's Strongest, and the titans outside the walls. He wants to run away from it all. He's strong and no one would be able to track him down.

But the guilt in his mind would haunt him forever.

And it's indeed a curse that such exceptional strength and skill lands on his shoulders. And he wields the responsibilities as Humanity's Strongest soldier. He can't let all the people that look up to him down.

━━━━━━━━━━━━

The weather is dreary today. Heavy gray clouds loom over the sky, like a blanket. And occasional drops of rain fall to the ground. In a light drizzle.

Not many people line the streets, but there's still a small crowd. And they watch wide eyed, as the Survey Corps trot with their horses. Dawned in their olive capes.

Mae stands in the crowd as well, lost . Her height doesn't help much at all. And she tries balancing on her toes, tipping left and right, in the push of the crowd.

"ERWIN DANCHOU, WIN BACK WHAT HUMANITY HAS LOST." Loud cheers erupt.

"LEVI HEICHOU KILL ALL THE TITANS FOR US." The crowd raves, and Mae stands on the sidelines.

Moisture settles in the corner of her eyes as she looks at him longingly.

How can she ask him to not go when everyone is counting on him?

How can she ask him to stop, when he is leaving to serve all of humanity?

She thought this would get easier as the time passed by, but nope.

It's a feeling she still hasn't gotten used to.

Fleetingly, his eyes meet hers. He sees the way they glow, heavy with tears and the way her lips tremble. His gaze softens, almost caressing her with the way he's looking.

He flashes her a small smile, his gaze flickering to the gate and then back to her. To anyone, the action is hardly noticeable, but Mae gets his message loud and clear.

Let me go, will you? He says to her.

The tear caged in her eye falls freely. Her hand flies up and she bears a shaky smile as she waves at him.

The moment is short-lived but etched forever in his heart.

This chapter may feel like a filler chapter, but I just wanted to talk about how Levi and Mae's relationship is now that they are long distance. And how they are in a relationship as well (before I start getting to the actual AOT plot lol)

It's been a few months now, so Levi is more comfortable initiating physical touch.

I hope their character growth is noticeable, because it isn;t really obvious.

Mae says I love you but doesn't expect it back, and Levi doesn't say it back. That's something that would have crushed Chapter 18 Mae. But now Mae feels secure.

Its kind of rushed but Levi and Mae have grown, understanding each others imperfections better. Mae is more secure, she doesn't need Levi reminding her that he needs her again and again, because she sees his effort

And Levi too is trying to communicate his feelings even though they make him feel weak and vulnerable. (Him saying he's glad he's here). And he's trying to be sweeter when Mae needs sweetness (telling Mae that she's more than her looks and her career).

Let me know your views on the chapter!

As always constructive criticism is also welcomed!

To all the people who keep up with this fic despite all the irregular and late uploads, I am very very grateful to have you! &lt;3

I will see you again with the next chapter! And HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Taglist: @keijikunn @evas-leslas @leviackermanmyhero245 (message me if you want to be added)

[vickyvicarious]

Who’s Read What in Dracula? - Lucy Westenra

A spoiler-free breakdown of what documents Lucy has read, and when. I will add a new entry whenever she gains access to, creates, or finishes a document.

Links to other characters’ posts, explanation of the color-coding I’ve used, and all other notes/explanations relating to how I am sorting/tracking this can be found in my WRWD Masterpost.

Tracking begins below the cut.

May 11

Letter to Lucy

Letter to Mina

Lucy receives Mina's letter, probably either on the tenth or eleventh. Given the information she seems eager to tell Mina, I'm assuming that she writes back right away here, hence placing them on the same day. However, Lucy's letter isn't dated, so it is possible that it was sent a few days later.

May 17?

Letter to Lucy

Lucy gets another letter from Mina, in response to her first letter. I'm placing this roughly in between the two letters from Lucy, but any exact dating is speculative as we never get to read this particular letter.

Total documents: Letters to Lucy, Letter to Mina

May 24

Letter to Mina

Lucy writes a second letter to Mina, describing the three proposals she has received in one day.

Total documents: Letters to Lucy, Letters to Mina

27 July

Message to Lucy

Mina mentions on the 26th that Arthur is expected in Whitby shortly, then on the 27th says that he's suddenly been called to visit his father who has fallen ill. It's possible that he had other communication with Lucy before now (or maybe the date was set before they parted, and Mina only mentioned it when the time was almost at hand), but at least it seems that he sent a letter or telegram to let the Westenras know his arrival in Whitby would be postponed.

Total documents: Letters to Lucy, Letters to Mina, Message to Lucy

August 24

London Diary

Lucy begins keeping a diary in an effort to emulate Mina. She's feeling unwell just like she did in Whitby.

Total documents: Letters to Lucy, Letters to Mina, Message to Lucy, London Diary

August 29?

Post-Whitby Letter to Lucy

Some time between the 24th-30th, Lucy receives Mina's letter about her wedding. I'm placing it here tentatively as I don't think she would wait very long after getting it to respond, but in the past Mina sometimes implied she was expecting letters from Jonathan later in the day.

Total documents: Letters to Lucy, Letters to Mina, Message to Lucy, London Diary, Post-Whitby Letter to Lucy

August 30

Whitby Letter

Lucy writes a reply to Mina's letter about her wedding. Stoker seems to have messed up his timeline here, because this letter is postmarked Whitby and shows Lucy doing well, while her London diary begins 6 days before and is decidedly less cheerful. (If she were lying, the postmark would be difficult to explain; at the same time, moving this earlier in the narrative would require changing several other dates so I'm not going to try and do that here).

Total documents: Letters to Lucy, Letters to Mina, Message to Lucy, London Diary, Post-Whitby Letter to Lucy, Whitby Letter

September 17

Lucy's Memorandum

Lucy has a harrowing, horror-filled night in which a wolf breaks into her window, her mother dies on her lap, her maids are drugged, and she is preyed upon by Dracula. She writes a memorandum detailing everything she can recall. (Technically, this was probably written during the early hours of the 18th. It appears that the wolf's escape from the zoo was discovered at midnight, and Lucy talks about being up late into the night. Still, since we have no hard confirmation either way, I'm sticking with the date we're given.) This was also the date of Lucy's final diary entry.

Total documents: Letters to Lucy, Letters to Mina, Message to Lucy, London Diary, Post-Whitby Letter to Lucy, Whitby Letter, Lucy's Memorandum

[welcometololaland]

I’m sorry if you’ve answered this already but are you planning to post ATLA? and do you have an ETA on that if you are (no pressure, I love your writing and the story seemed really interesting)

OKAY I ACTUALLY HAVE AN UPDATE ON THIS LISTEN UP EVERYONE (AKA. THE THREE PEOPLE WHO WANT TO KNOW):

ALTA has been a liiiiittle bit of a saga (would you believe me if I said I finished it in APRIL 😭🔪 ) but there have been major, major changes made to it since (I had to swap two characters and add more scenes and do a whole lot of clarifying shit and fill plot holes and I feel like I'm writing an actual book at this point).

That being said, I've scheduled a drop dead date on it for in October 2023, so...whatever state it is in on that date, chapter 1 is going out 💀

Thank you so much for the ask. I feel like I had to commit to a date, and now I have.

To be honest, I have become so disillusioned with this fic over time because of my fluctuating feelings towards writing and fandom and the mental health roller-coaster I've been on pretty much all year (I have been UNWELL I'm just gonna say it, and there have been some changes to the therapy I'm receiving that have impacted my creativity, but I think I'm coming out of my deep dark hole finally!!) also I've sort of carved out some really amazing group chats and one on one convos with other people that have sustained me. I've really enjoyed getting to know people better, and I don't even think they necessarily know how important they are to me and my happiness, but they are 💜

anyway, that was a question about alta, and I made it into a love letter to my people, but you know... the people get me through!

and also I love talking to new people so if you ever want to shoot me a dm PLEASE DO I love making friends!

[maleficore]

I really don't think I'll ever get to actually writing it this decade because I have just That Many other wips and this story is Long, but my god I keep rolling that RDR2 Modern AU of mine in my head like a pretty pebble and I have Many Thoughts. Looong ramble under the cut.

The general gist of it that it's supposed to be a "happy ending" to a true crime story, but it isn't. Not for a long while, at least. Like imagine watching a 45 minute documentary on a missing person's case, the credits roll and you're like "Wow so happy that they turned up in the end" but on the other side of the country that person has been having the worst fucking time for the past year and would've probably been better off missing.

Let me explain.

Up until May 1999 the story plays out like your run of the mill Modern AU that is kept as close to canon as I can make it. Of course some things are different in the way that comes from throwing everything a 100 years into the future like how Eliza and Isaac died in a car accident, not a home robbery. People have jobs that are different, some backstories needed to be adjusted. Arthur's last name is Matthews and not Morgan, having been adopted by Hosea and Bessie when he was around 8 or so. Him and Mary have actually been married, but it still didn't work out. Small divergences, seemingly inconsequential.

Then on May 18th Arthur Matthews goes missing. Leaves no clues as to what might've caused him to leave and where, had showed no signs anything could be wrong before he disappeared. A proper mystery. Of course it's a big thing for a while, Hosea being a pretty well known crook defence lawyer makes it interesting for the news, but after 6 months of nothing even the nastiest vultures get bored and everyone pretty much assumes Arthur to have died. Especially since he's well known to be a recovering alcoholic with multiple relapses under his belt. Probably fell off the wagon again, tripped into a ditch, hit his head. Dead.

That's when Arthur Morgan shows up.

It's up to the reader to decide if this is some universe warping time travel shenanigans or if he's the same person that went missing, just having an episode of some sorts. To everyone in the story Arthur "I'm telling you, I jumped off a sinking boat in 1899 and then showed up here" Morgan comes off as Mentally Unwell, so it doesn't really matter since it is not told from his perspective anyway and there's no way of really knowing.

(It's John's POV by the way. Forgot to mention that, whoopsie.)

And the entire story is basically a whumpy hate letter to all time travel AUs where Arthur gets yeeted into our times and pretty much shrugs it off with minor discomfort (/lh I don't actually hate those, they're silly fun, but they're not realistic?? And I am a realism nerd). Here, he gets majorly fucked up by it. Because how could he not be? First off, Hosea, who he just watched die maybe days prior, is alive and well. So is Sean and so is Lenny. He may be happy, but all that only makes everything feel even less real, pushes him further into believing that the reality he's in is some sort of a mirage or a dream. People talk about all these things that have not happened to him, there are pictures of a stranger with his face in places he's never been to. It's distressing and Arthur might be a guy that handles pressure well, but I doubt there's a single person on earth that wouldn't break under the weight of that. He's no different.

He keeps getting really distressed whenever that kind of stuff gets brought up too often. Starts having regular panic attacks, gets put on medication, sent to therapy. The "gang" are there to help him through it, but the situation takes a lot out John in particular once he realises that whatever has happened to Arthur seems unlikely to be reversed. Just as much as the person in every single family picture is a stranger to Arthur, this Arthur is a stranger to John. It's like he really died in a way. So the plot is just as much Arthur learning to cope and maybe eventually accepting that all of this is real and he's just "crazy", as John watching him go through it while simultaneously grieving the person he no longer is.

Basically an essay pondering the question "What makes us who we are, our memories or personality?" disguised as a fanfic because I like getting philosophical sometimes lol And I genuinely love it. This AU is my baby and really want to work on it, but it would have to straight up be a novel-length story. I don't have that in me 😭😭

[syntia13treeman]

Case files 14.01

CAT1RB4426-01081995-15032024

what I think happened in:

Case 14.01, the case of "Snake Shack" or "Squirrels aren't rats (the snakes don't care)."

In the nineties The Magnus Institute, Manchester, has been offering some kind of 'enrichment program' for 'gifted kids'. They would conduct a series of test to see if the kids qualified for the program or not. Some kids were rejected.

About 50 km south of Manchester, a bunch of their rejection letters had been stabbed pinned to the wall with a knife. Location: security/storage room of the loftily named Resounding Reptile Emporium in Newcastle-Under-Lyme. This is not the most interesting thing about this humble pet shop.

On first of August 1995 its proprietor, Anthony Walker, called a pest control company -Elima Pest Ltd., claiming that he'd seen a rat in the break room.

Elima's employee, Alyssa Beck, upon arriving only found evidence of a squirrel (droppings and the squirrel itself – alive, but either injured or poisoned).

It is unclear if there ever was a live rat there, or if Anthony couldn't tell rodents apart. The second option is more likely, especially since Anthony was… let's say, unwell.

For some time now he'd been constantly hungry, but unable to finish any regular meal (most of them ended in the trash). He tried to make do with sweets and snacks, and he might have eaten a pack of frozen mice, normally reserved for the reptiles.

He also developed some kind of rash on his neck, irritated from scratching. His overall mental state wasn't great either. When instructed to temporarily close the shop, he became agitated and tried to explain about his burden, grabbing Alyssa's sleeve to get her to listen. This resulted with a small accidental (?) scratch on Alyssa's arm.

When after cursory inspection Alyssa let him re-open the shop and retreated to the back rooms, Anthony tried, very insistently, to sell a snake to a pair of customers – a man and his daughter (and her cute goose plush). Maybe it was his pushy attitude that made the girl cry. It was definitely his random attack* on the father that made both of them run out the door (good for them).

Two things happened during Anthony's clumsy attack:

he broke the glass cabinet with lizard food, releasing disproportionally large amount of crickets.

he fell over and vomited REALLY excessive number of snakes. We can only hope he was already dead at this point.

Alyssa, who watched the incident on a CCTV screen in the back room, managed to call the police. She also tried to call her dad, who didn't pick up the phone. She left him a heartfelt goodbye message on company's dictaphone. She started feeling swelling and itching in her throat just before the snakes found a way into the room she was hiding in. That was the last anyone ever heard from her. No body was recovered.

There are two separate trails to follow here:

1) Anthony, Magnus Institute and ‘gifted’ kids:

*to start with, I’m not entirely sure if Anthony was really attacking his customers. His ‘lunge’ over the counter might have been an attempt to grab the man’s sleeve (like he earlier did to Alyssa), which he overshot, loosing his balance, because he was already dying; or he was thrashing around uncontrollably, reaching out for help, because he was already dying.

Another question is how conscious he was during that episode, and why was he so desperate to make a sale? Was it a) an instinctive behaviour of a man turned into a snake incubator, who might not even understand what he was doing or why, or b) desperate last act of man who'd been given an ultimatum: do this thing, or something horrible happens to you. I'm leaning towards option 1 for now.

Now, Magnus Institute (ARG data): After comparing the kids' birth dates and their approximate age when they were tested, I believe that MI started their ‘program’ around 1994/95 and ended it in 1998.

There were two young Walkers on MI's list: Ruby and Aaron. At the time of the incident Ruby was just 14 days short of being 8, and Aaron was a 15 days old baby. They might be unrelated, but I don't believe in coincidences in TMA universe. (Michaels don't count).

Anthony had a whole 'bunch of rejection letters' from them. My guess is that he was Ruby's and Aaron's father. He wanted to get Ruby in on the program and brought her in for testing several times, and that was where he came in contact with whatever it was that turned him into a snake-man. The fact that he was angry about Ruby being constantly rejected (you don't normally stab a letter if you're calm about it) might have contributed to his reptile problem. (I'm so furious I'm gonna explode! Into snakes!)

For some unfathomable reason, somebody, possibly the kids' mother, brought Aaron to the Institute to be tested after Anthony's death. Lady, your man dies in highly strange and mysterious circumstances, and you take your kid to a place known for dabbling in strange mysteries? The heck? Ah well. Maybe she just went, 'oh, it meant so much for Anthony to get Ruby accepted there, this is what he would have wanted.' Hopefully little Aaron didn't catch anything deadly when there.

2) Alyssa and her dad:

Is Alyssa's dad a supernatural expert or survivor? She said that he taught her and told her about things that made her certain that he not only would believe her, but he might have saved her if only they could talk before the snakes got her. She told him not to blame himself. What is it that he knew or could do that might cause him to feel guilty about not picking up the phone at the crucial moment? Who are you, Mr. Beck Senior?

one very minor gripe: did Alyssa call the police, hang up, try to call her dad, then call the police again? We know she called the police immediately after Anthony first 'attacked' and unleashed the crickets. Then, presumably after she saw the snake vomit, she called her dad. And then, when he failed to answer, she started recording her final message, and she started it with 'I can still hear the police operator on the phone'. I guess maybe she wanted to update her first call. Something on the lines of 'hey, I just called about a violent shopkeeper and crickets? Well, it got so much worse now, guys!'. RIP, Alyssa. You did your best.

What happened to Alyssa? Anthony is almost certainly dead, but she wasn't found on the scene. She had already been infected (the scratch) and feeling effects of it (swelling/itching in her throat). She might have been gobbled up, or she might have been carried away into the nearby marshy nature reserve on the backs of the snakes, or she might have fled there on her own after undergoing some kind of transformation. (My moneys on nr 3).

People to look out for in future episodes: Snakes Alyssa, little gosling girl (all grown up) and Beck Senior on a revenge quest.

[safestsephiroth]

FFXIVWrite 2024 #5: Stamp (Tabatha "Tombclutch")

@fair-fae

-

Far too long in isolation, this time.

With a spring in her step, the infamous explorer, self-stylized archaeologist and generalized "ruin-thief" known in the Ul'dahn papers only by the moniker "Tombclutch" for her heretical willingness to explore ancient ruins without so much as a word of permission from the proper authorities practically skipped through the streets of Ul'dah.

She was resolved to start a new era, now that the world no longer was on the brink of destruction. The papers thought she might be dead - no activity from the infamous "thief" led to quiet relief among many. But how wrong they were! No, no, she was simply unwell for a time - being treated by a charming Miqo'te who competed with her for being among the very shortest Keepers of the Moon in Ul'dah, though Tabby suspected in the case of her friend it was more malnourishment than anything. In the time she'd stayed there, even though there she had chunks of memory missing (which really should have concerned her more than it did) she never once recalled seeing Misha eat. Poor girl must've been worried sick.

And speaking of friends, it had been far too long - just this morning, she saw the scrabbled-together Allagan gunblade hanging on her wall and remembered her adventure with C'therin.

So now, with a heart full of joy and a head lacking sense, she strode right up to the postmoogle and handed him the letter, with such fancy paper and a giant gaudy stamp that looked completely wrong for something made by someone as disheveled and dirt-covered as if they'd just dug themselves out of a grave.

Oops.

She hadn't considered how she looked, but that didn't matter! What mattered was that the letter find its way to a friend she had failed, miserably, to keep in touch with.

-

Hey, C'therin!

Wow, it's been so long since we last did that job. Remember that? The Allagan place, with that weirdo mage and all the crazy traps?

It was tons of fun. I still have my mementos. Did you end up keeping yours? It's fine if not - I'd bet everything from that place is REALLY valuable, especially after it uh. Well. I mean, it's not like I would expect anyone to find the place again any time soon, is all I'm saying.

I heard that travel's opening up to the New World more lately, and I'm keen on getting out there. I bet there's a TON of treasure just waiting to be nabbed. I even heard tell there's an entire city of gold out there! Can you believe it? It's probably an exaggeration, or a metaphor or something - I mean, wouldn't a city of gold buildings be awful heavy, and terrible at keeping a solid temperature? I don't know about you, but I'd rather my house be made of something hard enough that a random sledgehammer isn't going to just collapse the whole thing in a swing or two.

But hey! I was just thinking about you, and wondering how you've been. Hope things are going great for you, and you survived the almost-end of the world and all that. Personally, I kind of didn't notice it was happening.

See you around either way!

Your friend,

-Tombclutch

[mycptsdstory]

So I've just spoken to my therapist that I haven't seen in months, and she thinks I'm doing okay.

Like when I get a flashback or an emotional flashback, I know what to do and how to handle it.

For example; I've been having these crazy old emotions of suicide. Even tho I don't want to commit suicide and I'm happy now, I've been getting those old emotions. I told her "I'm pretty sure it's an emotional flashback. Because I don't want to do it, I'm happy now but I want to commit suicide. These feelings of, writing a letter on social media, talking about my life and how living with my mother is hell. Going to actually commit suicide... but I don't want to? It's odd".

She said how, when I was living with my mother, it was the only logical way out for me. Since, I was around really toxic people who, let's face it, didn't care about me. They didn't care about my well being and just believed my family that I'm this "demon, devil spawn and I'm delusional who's a freak". So the only way out, is suicide back then. Now I'm in a happy place, not surrounded by that, I don't feel that anymore. I know it's an emotional flashback.

She's proud of me too, which is amazing. Like, I'm starting to recognise my own thoughts and feelings and I'm getting there!! I never thought I would be in such a stage in my life, where I'm getting better. I really thought I wasn't, I really thought I was gonna be this mentally unwell person for the rest of my life.

I told her the memes I've been making and mocking my family and THAT SEEMS TO BE WORKING!!!! Like wtf, me mocking my family and their belief system, is working. Wtf. So anything they say to people, I'm just gonna make memes and openly mock people. Idc anymore.

I'm happy I'm at a stage in my life where I'm finally moving on. Barley anything triggers me anymore. Especially when I saw my family, when I got my neck tattoo and they were like "let's beat her up. Let's kill her, she's un-pure for having a tattoo. Her skin isn't pure anymore" and people thought they were so weird. Like, no normal person acts like that. For the first time, I didn't let it bother me.

So yeahh, I'm really happy for the progress I made. I'm sooooo happy.