#i'm too tired to be more coherent

[malepresentingleg]

We've always been confused about the Step by Step timeline but this episode really took the cake for me hsdlskfsfj apologies for the nitpicking but it really is because I saw SO much potential in it and I love the characters and the acting so much🥺

We FINALLY got an official explicit "2 years later", couldn't you add a few more of these? 😭

So in the first episode or so Pat mentions he's 25, then a couple of episodes ago he had his bday which I assumed was his 26th. Then this episode, 2 years later he celebrated his birthday (I assumed 28th) and on what I thought was a few days later he told Jeng's mom he's gonna "turn 26 this October" which is an odd thing to say right after your (28) birthday ksjfsfsd

The morning after the embarrassing singing Pat doesn't remember their chat in the kitchen? but they're being so normal around each other? Then how much time passes in the relationship it's so unclear!! We get both their bdays ig?

Did they have them break up just so we'll get another honeymoon phase? Because really, they could have just let them stay happy instead of doing that without showing us anything changed that would allow this relationship to work this time around,.,

The back and forth in Pat and Jeng 's relationship was jarring af but ahh well they WERE cute at the end and I did like their playfulness..

Jeng's dad's evil refusal to let him quit... yeah let's ignore that and not mention it ever again after that meaningful trash throwing : )

OH and with all the discussions about Jeng being the eldest and expectations.. are we all just ignoring their older sister??? There was a whole episode about how sweet Jeng is with his niece but I guess she stopped existing?

Put being pat's in ex who? let's involve him in all the discussions about his relationship with jeng.

Jen and Jaab???? I don't even have anything to say, except maybe I'm kinda glad we didn't get a whole arc of them this episode bc idc 😬

Ae and Chot- iconic as ever I love them, them eating the nuggets is something that can be so personal.

Pat and Jeng's outfits this episode? also iconic.

[herefortheships]

Why do you think he fell in love with Lydia? see, it's much stronger than it was for Dolores, I'm not going to ask when because it would be complicated Bj and Lydia have such opposite personalities

Love this question! And to be honest, ever since I watched BJBJ I've been wondering about this. Because, to me, at least when I first watched the movie, I got to the conclusion that he must have fallen in love with her over the years; that he never had any true romantic inclinations towards Lydia in the first movie. So I had to wonder, what changed?

This answer got long... So I'll put a little summary, Tl;Dr answer here: I think there's an in-canon reason he fell for her and a meta reason why Tim Burton and co decided to make Betelgeuse be in love with Lydia in canon. The in-canon reason: Opposites attract. She is exactly his type: a dark, mysterious beauty. Plus her calm demeanor suits his unhinged nature. Their energies play nicely off each other, completing and balancing each other in a way no one else could, whether Lydia realizes it now or not. Lydia also never seemed to mind ugly, scary, dark things, and Betelgeuse is kind of all of that. At some point he grew fond of her and started needing this sweet, dark beauty in his (after)life. The meta reason: Lydia and Betelgeuse are a favorite "Burton Couple", almost right there with Jack and Sally, at least to a LOT of people.

Now to the long answer, because I totally always write a lot (below the read more cut bc this one got pretty long):

I think to properly answer why he fell in love with her, I do need to get into the when. And this is where I might have to put a "trigger warning" just in case, since I will touch upon how he felt towards Lydia in the first movie, when she was a teenager. Anyone uncomfortable with that needs to click away now. We're going to analyze this with the context and nuance of Betelgeuse's backstory. Context and nuance tend to be overlooked a LOT when the purity factions of fandom want to impose moral superiority upon other members of the fandom, so maybe placing the "trigger warning" may not be enough, but, anyway, you've been warned about the topics of this post.

The context and nuance: Betelgeuse, when alive, lived in the time of the bubonic plague, this means he was alive during the 1300s, presumably in Italy. At that time, marrying a 15-16 year old was socially acceptable and normal. Heck, even younger than that (as unacceptable as that seems to us today in our modern times). So it wasn't that strange as it is today. The reason is that people often didn't get to live past 30. The average, oldest age of death around the time was 60 years old. It was also common for men of the time (and where Betelgeuse lived in Italy, and Europe, as I’m reading in these articles) to marry much later than women, as in it was common for men in their 30s and 40s to marry a 14 year old (which I believe is even younger than Lydia was in that movie, not sure). All of that is in that article. That depends entirely on social ranking though; if he was lower class often people married for convenience and I'm not sure but I think age wasn't a factor to consider when people were struggling. In Europe even in the 1800s you'd see age gaps in marriages. //Edit: and America! For some reason my brain when I wrote this at midnight thought Poe was European 💀.// Edgar Allan Poe married a 13 year old when he was 27, for example (which I totally find super weird, personally, but at their time it wasn't a super weird thing as it is today, as far as I've read; it was also normal to marry a cousin around that time in the upper class and upper middle class, or so I've seen). Was Tim Burton aware? Who knows. But at least I'm putting this out there as the context why it isn't weird for Betelgeuse the character to see a teenager as someone of marrying age. We also know he didn't want to marry her in the first movie because he was in love with her; she was a means to an end, more than anything, regardless of any interest he had in her due to her looks etc.

Ok, so now that that's out of the way we can keep talking. Even though I joined the Beetlebabes fandom only after the second movie, and shipping these two characters never once crossed my mind throughout the years of me watching the first movie, after some thought and after rewatching the movie with the knowledge of where the story goes after the events of that movie, I can definitely see that Betelgeuse became interested in Lydia ever since the first movie, and also why he's head over heels for her in the present.

Even though I still think he fell in love over the years after the events of the first movie, I think he became smitten with her since the first movie. Here's why he fell for her: For starters, she is a dark and mysterious beauty, and that seems to be his type (look at Delores, also a dark beauty). We can actually see the moment he first shows interest in her in the first movie, when he saw her while in his snake form. She was the only one he did not hurt. He only stared at her, almost like he was taken aback by her. When Barbara banishes him back to the model, we have that little moment when he mentions he feels the only one he can make a deal with in that house is "Edgar Allan Poe's daughter", meaning Lydia. And we have the little horny joke, so if you wanna throw that one in there as evidence he became interested in her here, then sure you can. As this happens directly after he's seen Lydia face to face... Rember the context above before you want to call him a pdfler or something... please. He is Not.

Then later when she meets him in his real form, she doesn't seem startled or scared that she's in the presence of a demon/ghost. In fact, she just simply asks him "are you a ghost, too?" and that's when he starts making some conversation. He realizes she can see him and communicate with him. You can tell at this point he is intrigued by her. She is the only one he's shown a sort of sensitivity to in the entire movie. He asks her "why?" when she says she wants to go in to the after life (essentially, that she wants to di e). He doesn't try anything naughty with her; instead, next time he sees her when she asks for his help, he proposes the marriage.

Now, at the time I don't think he loved her or even cared much about her; at this time he just wanted out and here was an eligible woman, who was not only beautiful and available, she could also see him and needed his help, which he used as his way to try to get out of the afterlife. I think once they got rid of him, and he realized he could still connect with her over the years, his interest in her grew and he started really growing fond of her until inevitably he fell in love.

Lydia is physically his type, but there's also a calmness to her that plays against his unpredictable, unhinged personality. She's someone who can balance him, and he's someone she could hold on to; there's an energy in him that she can use. Of course Lydia doesn't yet see how she'd be compatible with someone like him, but from an outsider's perspective, they really compliment each other's personalities. She's calm and quiet; he's crazy and loud. She's reserved; he's outgoing. She's a dark cloud; he's high-energy, like sunshine. Etc. Opposites attract. 💚

Now finally, the meta reason: Lydia and Betelgeuse seem to be a favorite "Burton couple" not only to Tim Burton himself (and the cast of the movie themselves!) but also to a great number of people. There's people who grew up watching the Beetlejuice cartoon series and didn't even watch the first movie, who for years had the idea that these two characters actually adore each other. There were people who were going in to watch this movie with that context only. And there were even people who were going to watch the sequel as their introduction to Beetlejuice (like my mom's best friend, for example! She loved the sequel but has NEVER watched the first movie nor the cartoon. She also wanted Betelgeuse and Lydia to end up together after watching this one, by the way). From a meta perspective, Lydia and Betelgeuse are just a fan favorite couple and an inseparable pair. So partly the choice to make it canon that at least he is absolutely in love with her comes from this expectation that many people had for these two characters. It just feels natural; they're just an iconic Burton pair.

[wizardofahz]

Saw a Criminal Minds gifset and suddenly started thinking about canon vs. fanon JJ.

TL; DR: Fanon JJ is the facade canon JJ puts on to hide trauma.

(This discusses JJ's sister, so content warning for suicide)

The obvious starting point for understanding JJ's characterization is her sister's suicide. That's a traumatic event for anyone, and even more so for an eleven year old child. So it's quite understandable that JJ decides she will do whatever she can to avoid experiencing hurt like that again.

In episode 3.17, JJ tells Will about their relationship, "I didn't want to tell anyone because the minute I do it becomes real, and when it becomes real, people get hurt, and I've always run from getting hurt. Always."

But JJ didn't only lose her sister.

In episode 14.12, JJ's mom admits, "I got so caught up in all my troubles that I forgot there was another little girl under my roof who had just lost her sister. You needed me, and I wasn't there."

At eleven years old, JJ was a traumatized child without a support system. So she learned to rely on herself. Other people were just avenues for hurt, and she decided that wasn't worth it.

All of which leads to this confession from JJ in the season 14 finale: "There are only four people I trust in this world."

My three non-negotiables are Will, Hotch, and Emily. The fourth is between Reid and Garcia, but I lean towards the former given Garcia's penchant for invading people's privacy.

Even if anyone disagrees with that list, there's not a lot of room for choice. At any given time, the BAU usually has seven members, and given the amount of turnover they've had, JJ hasn't learned to trust most of them.

Do they know that? They probably know her facade masks trauma, but I doubt they know the extent of it. There's a reason that episode starts with the team playing poker, and JJ showing Reid he doesn't know her as well as he thinks he does.

So let's talk about that facade. In contrast to Reid, who wears his trauma on his sleeve, JJ buries hers as deeply as she can. She takes care of the people around her, and while it's not disingenuous, it's part of a prettily painted reinforced fortress wall that says, "hey, look at me, such a put-together person that doesn't have problems of my own, so I can help with yours."

And it does the job because it has fandom fooled too.

[mdverse]

md's fun silly little top 10(ish) arts of 2024!*

*pretend once again that there's a fun cute doodled banner here (i forgor about it again)

been dealing with major creative burnout for like. half of this year lmao so i have not been drawing anywhere near as much as i wish i had but! perhaps that is all the more reason to look back at the hits i managed so it's time for a top 10 15 best (.... or faves.... this is subjective and i may be biased....) drawings of the year!

15: self-portrait if we're being really honest and vulnerable tonight i actually. don't really like how this drawing looks anymore. it's here purely for sentimental reasons

14: heatstroke!britt... uhhh. yknow. she just. yeah

13: tbosas!sebklaine? i don't actually love the final result tbh but. it's fine i think? bella likes it so that's the most important thing

12: primary colours furtana <3 i'm so biased towards them that i almost ranked this wayyyy higher ngl (it's at like. #8 to me personally)

11: collette jones the loml <3333 non-glee art on this blog??? isn't that wild lol (she momentarily broke me out of art block and also i am deeply in love with her so. that's why she's here)

10: elphie!santana :) i am actively chomping at the bit to make more glozverse art u have no idea it'll be so fun if that actually happens

9: good game <33 i'm actually such a slut for a vibe piece did u guys know that? putting one song on loop and then going wild with the lighting >>>>>

8: mermay brittana! arguably this should be much higher bc those wide water shots came out surprisingly good considering i haven't really drawn water in a hot minute but. i'm bad at ranking my own art lol

7: uht in suits!!! i mean. i think this is self-explanatory. u guys get it (i've seen all ur tags)

6: mistletoe kiss <3 the agony of leaving this out of the top 5... maybe it's just recency bias but i think it's sooo pretty i've missed drawing them

5: furtana my trio of all time <3 this one gets a top 5 placement for being a banger despite also being a big style experiment. i would die for those kids

4: after a long day... so. this one inexplicably became a hit post. and like i kinda get bc it's cute and whatever but also?? how did that happen lmao of all the posts to blow up i was Not expecting it to be a vb au thing (i am v grateful that it did tho. they deserve it <3) (at least one more vb au comic will appear eventually)

3: go for it, santana!! thank god i redid it bc the original wip really wasn't giving lol but. it ended up looking so good. put my whole mdussy into that

2: vb au brittana (wedding edition) ougfjghjf i'm actually still insane over this one.... vb au wedding save me fr... alexa blast lovelight by abba on loop pls and thanku

1: vb au brittana (but the pride month edition) <333 can we just. can we take a moment. not to suddenly gas myself up bc obviously this isn't a flawless drawing but like.... the background and all the little details and the poses?? all the lil easter eggs i snuck in there for fun? this is like. objectively my best drawing of the year. i love them so so much

[sharpsuite]

SOLITARY CONFINEMENT - SUIT OBSERVATION

While rewatching the Jack of Hearts game, I've noticed the suit a main character in a SPECIFIC ROUND often falls into one of two categories when we can see it. ( It's fairly applicable to minor characters too, but not all of them. ) Generally in the scene it is the skill actively being utilized by the player. But there is a time it changes. When a player is going to DIE it is often the suit that is OPPOSITE of what traits the player going to die has been displaying in the scene / round. I emphasize main character in a round because this isn't true if the character only has a brief moment in a round. But let's use some examples, shall we?

I'll add it as a read more because there will be lots of screenshots. And I can't study every death or suit in a round simply because some rounds have more context and interactions than others and/or we don't get to see it.

ROUND 1

the game immediately starts off with this trend because BANDA's suit is a club suit ; you wouldn't know this in the first watch through, but Banda was USING team effort as a way to drastically cut down those who might be the Jack. ( Not many people would approach me. And if you tried to kill me, you were either scheming, just a plain idiot, a psychopath, or a sociopath. To figure that out, I decided to play along and be your partner. ) . Meanwhile Urumi, who has hearts, immediately launches her long-term plan of taking people out via groups and emotional manipulation. We don't visibly see Yaba's but his is said to be a diamond and he was using intelligence to warn not to trust random people when some of the side characters started to blindly ask the nearest person without and basis of trust ( before Urumi's group formed. ) Chishiya's is a diamond too and he was displaying his usual intellect approach with Ippei in this round.

ROUND 2

this is our first example of the opposite suit signaling death. Now obviously, none of the suits are actually EXACT opposites. GENKI here is using physical force and VIOLENCE to get an answer, which is what I would put into spades given it is physical. But his suit is a diamond. And diamonds generally (Niragi being an outlier for known players) take the logical approach which is generally seen as an opposite to physical.

ROUND 3

Urami uses logic to persuade people to justify killing Akefumi, the one Banda told to lie to Genki. Akefumi however gets hearts. Now, hearts are generally the games with the most deaths. HE is trusting others, HE is playing like a clubs player in this round and victim to hearts manipulation (in this case, Urami's approach). Clubs is more likely everyone (or more people) will survive whereas hearts is more likely only ONE will survive. Hence, Hearts is the opposite of how he as a clubs attitude in this round is playing.

ROUND 4

we don't see many this round. interestingly enough, Shinobu WASN'T lied to in this round and yet the opposite death flag still raises. ( Sort of, diamonds and hearts tend to be very similar but opposites in some ways. Hearts specializing with emotions while diamonds do not, or only at a theoretical level) She was told HEARTS, which it is. But by this point, Shinobu is taking a diamonds approach of logic - Urami has gotten several people killed so Shinobu CAN'T trust her. Which is logical - and in a way made her a victim to hearts manipulation similar to Akefumi. The emotional impact is shaking her. ADDITIONALLY, the other 2 tell her clubs, as if they are a team. But she's ALONE in this round with no group (and i personally tend to put spades as a more INDIVIDUAL game in general) Hence, in a way, she bought the lie of clubs despite being in a more spades situation.

UNKNOWN ROUND + ROUND 10

Urami has hearts and she's using emotional manipulation in this round again, so once again - showcasing what she's using. But we also almost have her be told Diamonds instead, which the two are generally posed as OPPOSITES for this specific game. However in round 10 she declares it's spade when it ISN'T, because she was killed by a group effort. ( I don't believe we see it in this round - but I like to theorize it was clubs.)

ROUND 12

Poor Ippei is having an emotional breakdown - and yet he has DIAMOND for this round. Like I said above, while fairly similar, diamonds and hearts are generally opposite for the sake of this game. And you could take emotional intelligence (hearts) vs logical-mathematical intelligence (diamonds). Chishiya however has hearts. We all know this man isn't great with emotions - but it is rather embodying of Chishiya's habit to gravitate towards people like Arisu and Ippei and use them. He does ACKNOWLEDGE Ippei's at a breaking point by saying he's had a blessed life to believe people are good and telling him to just hang in there a bit longer. While true because it also helps him, it does go well with Chishiya's comment post-shootout scene of saying he uses good & kind people for his gain. This right here is that. Ippei is a sunshine puppy who immediately clung to Chishiya and Chishiya....well, he's Chishiya.

ROUND 13

At this point the suits don't matter as much since only Shiga dies. She has HEART but is trying to play clubs using both Yaba and Enji ( This time we have a LITERAL example of what happened with Akefumi in round 3 ) We see Enji has spades because he's become more individualistic now that it's down to the finale ; his teaming up is at its end. Yaba has clubs because he's already established a new truce with Banda. Banda has hearts because he's messing with Enji at this point, Enji believes he has Banda trapped when really its HIM being played for the fool thanks to Banda's acting. And Chishiya is a diamond, back to using cold logic throughout the round when he's approaching people, giving hard facts ( Banda being a murderer, Yaba being a con artist, etc. etc. ) as well as being able to narrow down his options for what the suit might be ( he knows it can't be a heart because he was a heart the previous round so he know Enji lied, Shiga hesitated and avoided answering hence no clubs, so down to spades and diamonds and instinct. but i don't doubt there was likely math & there's plenty of explainations for how Chishiya managed this. )

Anyways....I just thought this was a super interesting observation that sometimes applies to the side characters in rounds but seemed FAIRLY consistent in the game. Maybe a stretch or two but it was a fun little observation and I hope you all enjoyed it!

[star--anon]

Minho and Thomas chatting about future plans for Paradise. Minho sitting on the edge of Thomas' bed as Thomas prepares for the night, drying out his hair, slipping into pajamas (AKA less dirty clothes), etc.

He takes his shirt off at some point, and Minho doesn't bother pretending not to stare.

Minho gets a little more awkward as the conversation continues, which Thomas notices but decides not to mention. He chalks it up to the fact that his only clean trousers are juuuust a little short.

The truth becomes clear when Thomas gets into bed and Minho doesn't leave. Just kind of stares awkwardly. Keeps trying to talk about fortification measures, but in the least casual tone possible.

Thomas finally guesses that Minho wants to spend the night (after fifteen minutes of asking "What are you doing?" and Minho going "I dunno what you're talking about") and lifts up the blankets.

Minho mutters something about "If you insist, I guess I can sleep with you tonight" and Thomas just scoffs.

[lovinglin]

The

[ourceliumnetwork]

apparently we're not out of the woods on holiday trauma responses just yet - i'm hoping we're on the tail end of it but like. good lord.

[disillusionedjudge]

((something something, nature vs nurture with Gylfie acting more like Takrin than Theodric

[syn4k]

i know being a human being takes recharge time but im so out of practice with being gentle to myself!!!!! i want to live and move and laugh so loud and live up to my name and remind people of the sun!!!!!!!!! i want so desperately to be filled with color and light and love!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! but instead when i get home i have to crash in bed and im too tired to do the things i love and im still grumpy and i keep forgetting to be nice to myself and its just so hard. i want to be poetry. i want to reduce my entire life to one of those sunswept june evenings where the wind smells like your soul and stay there forever. but its so much harder to romanticize the tired sighs and the ink stained fingers and the messy room and the head down headphones on isnt it? theres beauty in the mundane somewhere but my vision is stuck in an exhausted blurry greyscale

[byanyan]

endearing myself to my own oc tonight thinking about lil baby 13 y/o byan who's finally switched to using only they/them pronouns and finally able to experiment more with feminine clothing and makeup, and they're really excited about it but don't really know what they're doing yet? they're learning most if not all of this stuff on their own with no real guidance, so they're clumsy and they stumble a lot while they're trying to get the hang of it all - there are a lot of poorly blended makeup looks done with an unpracticed, heavy hand, a lot of messy attempts at hairstyles as their hair grows out for the first time ever, and a lot of outfits that are too much or the colours clash or the styles just don't quite mesh... they look pretty messy a lot of the time, but they're having so much fun.

[mozart-the-meerkitten]

So someday I’ll have brainpower and be able to make the masterpost I want of the similarities between my boys but for now I’m exhausted and braindead and I’m here to tell you how similar Hector from Coco and Dustfinger from Inkheart/Spell are

- Traveling performer, left their families and never came back through no fault of their own

- Unwillingly transported to another world (death counts as being transported unwillingly I feel)

- Left their wife and small daughter(s) alone, accidentally abandoning them

- Not a similarity, but it’s really funny that Roxanne got over Dustfinger coming back REALLY quickly but his daughter Brianna was furious at him, and while Imelda was furious for Hector never coming back Coco apparently loved and remembered him anyway.

- Increasingly desperate shenanigans to get home, including, but not limited to, using a 12-year-old to help them

- Really nice and good with kids in general

- Sad trash hobos

- Accidentally get REALLY ATTACHED to the kid they’re trying to use to get home

- Again, not a similarity, but it is ironic that Dustfinger has so many people who would like to kill him and keeps avoiding death (even at the hands of the author of his own book!) and Hector had no enemies trying to kill him but still couldn’t avoid death it just came to him at the hands of his best friend. Also Hector should have lived a long life and died young and Dustfinger was supposed to die young (in his book) but didn’t because he got stolen out of the story.

- Has a good heart really, it’s just buried under trauma

- Really, really good at the one thing they perform- Hector with guitar/singing and Dustfinger with firedancing.

- Unfairly missed their kid’s lives

- End up trying to teach a kid their special skill and whoops turns out the kid’s a natural (Farid at firedancing, Miguel at performing)

- Can’t catch a break

- Doing their best

- Love their wife and daughter(s) SO MUCH

- They just want to go home and see their families! Let! Them! Go! Home!

Also now I really, really want an AU where when Dustfinger gets yanked into our world he meets recently ’abandoned’ Imelda and Coco and befriends them, and Hector finds Rosanna (Dustfinger’s daughter who died while he was gone) in the Land of the Dead somehow and since she’s the same age Coco was when he left he just adopts her. You’d have to either set Inkheart in the past or Coco in the future but I love the idea so much I think it’d be worth the shenanigans.

[you-will-return]

°-°

[sl33py-g4m3r]

long rant thing before sleeping.....

pointless question before sleep but it's something I've been currently thinking about and its bugging me a bit.

apparently other vegetarians (outside the US) I think use dairy but don't eat eggs...

I've watched "Blondie In China"'s videos on youtube about being vegetarian and vegan in china, and she says that in the end of her "vegan in china" video that vegetarians outside the US (india i think and other middle eastern and eastern countries but I could be horribly incorrect) don't eat eggs.

This has made me wonder about whether I should keep eating eggs or not.... I don't eat them often, but I do. Especially as they are in a majority of baked goods like cookies and the like.

But is taking eggs and using them justifiable?

or do other vegetarians abstain from dairy as well?

I thought that in some places; as well as in the past when that word was first initially used, vegetarian meant what we'd call vegan today.

throwing further arguments into question....

I've been vegetarian for well over 100 days since the new year (but only 15 or so currently recorded because I changed tracking apps cause the one I was using you need a subscription for and the current one does everything (except export data) the other does for free... eg it shows you animals saved, how long you've been vegetarian or vegan for, gives you co2 and water saving amounts and lets you track what animal foods you eat per gram (not just meat)... it even has recipes and a guide if you need help... all free to download and use without a subscription. but that's a rant I didn't need to go on. oops.

but ye tldr of this "i'm tired and should go to bed" post is; should I continue to eat eggs or is it unjustifiable?

what about use of caffeine? Is this bad too or ok if you only drink 2 cups of coffee a day? Was planning on stopping drinking coffee as well and just drinking decaf/herbal teas instead. but I also have a lot of coffee to burn through before I run out to begin with...

probably an outlier cause I'm the odd one in society so I shouldn't be complaining about this I guess; but I hate how eating meat and meat based food is so prevalent and everywhere... It's like we can't escape it.

and if vegetarians or vegans try to advocate for less meat consumption = less unnecessary death; we're subject to violence, hate and anger even if we're being peaceful about it.

Tho I'm too nice and meek to even speak out about it at all.... and wouldn't know what I'd do if confrontation did happen.... rip any advocacy at all.... ever..... cause I'm afraid of how people react..... yay anxiety.....

I have a feeling there's no point to this dumpster fire of a post...... hope it's coherent at least.... and some of these posts are just me trying to make up my mind about something tbh......

cause I genuinely just

idk

[tvrningon]

" you're so cute when you can't speak " is such a cyrillo thing to say and i'm : ) dude is gonna compliment you and sing your praises while doing the meanest things to you honestly. like oh?? it's so good that you're too overwhelmed to form words?? baby you're so cute, so pretty <3 stop?? no bc i know you can take it <3

[aliteralsemicolon]

Thinking about how Spencer takes care of you when you're too exhausted to take care of yourself.

He walks into your bedroom to find you on the brink of sleep, carelessly curled up on your end of the bed and his brows raise in slight concern as he scans you. You couldn't even be bothered to change out of your day clothes. He chuckles lightly at the sight, as he makes his way to you.

"Baby?" He gently calls to you, rubbing your calf with his hand as he takes a seat next to your legs. You're unable to respond to the sound of his voice despite hearing it. He tries again, this time kneeling on the floor next to your head.

"Angel?" His fingers lightly brush through your hair as he whispers near your ear.

"Hmm?" You reply hazily.

You wait for him to speak so you can go back to sleep but all that follows is silence. He resumes his motions in your hair and it keeps you aware of his presence. He's waiting for you to gain some more consciousness. You rub your eyes, fluttering them open and Spencer's quick to guide your hand away from your face.

Right. Your makeup.

"What's up?" You mumble, stifling a yawn.

"I know you're tired, and I'm sorry for having to wake you up," he tucks a loose strand of hair behind your ear. "but you do know why it's bad for you to fall asleep like this?"

This is a topic the two of you have discussed before. You're usually quite meticulous about removing your makeup before bed, but you're also no stranger to nights when you can't find any energy to do so.

"Mhm. Clogged pores, risk of infections, bacteria spread, discomfort…" You trail off, summarising his extensive research.

Getting you up and off this bed is a losing battle tonight and Spencer graciously accepts defeat, sporting an endeared grin.

"Can I at least help you get comfortable? Would it be alright if I took these off for you?" He tugs at your top and waits for your response. You nod, letting out a barely audible hum.

Spencer moves off the floor and begins to remove your clothing. "You're gonna have to help me just a little bit, Angel. Lift your hips for me."

You blindly follow his commands, wanting to get it over with so that he can relax and you can go back to sleep. He doesn't relax, though. As he rids you of the last of your clothing, he mentally fights himself on letting you sleep with your make-up. There are so many risks involved, but hygiene aside, Spencer knows that if you wake up with your pillow stained– or God forbid…a pimple– you're going to be beyond pissed with yourself.

The sudden dip in the mattress slightly startles you, as a cool feeling drags against your cheek and you whine.

"Shhhh, sorry, it's just me." Spencer coos.

"What're you doing?" You groan, squeezing your eyes shut, still in a sleepy haze.

"Just wiping off your makeup, sweet girl. You're going to thank me tomorrow." His finger hooks under your chin and he soothingly rubs his thumb just under your lips.

"Spence…" You begin whining but you're unable to pronounce anything else coherently.

He can tell you're slightly irritated, but he doesn't mind. He knows that it's the exhaustion talking.

"I know, I know." He sympathises with his continually gentle tone. "I'm almost done. You're being so good for me right now."

Your lips pout, but you don't complain any further, his words calming you. By the time he's finished ridding your face of cosmetic residue, you're knocked out again. Light snores can be heard from you. He chuckles to himself at the sight of you. So peaceful. So adorable. He leans in closer and plants a firm, lingering kiss on your forehead before he disappears to get ready for bed himself.

"Spence?"

He turns around at your groggy voice, still half asleep. "Yes?"

"Thank you."

"Anytime, my pretty girl."