#i went to the hospital yesterday bc of my ear

[you-will-return]

°-°

[dovesfree]

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[illicitlimerence-writes]

baby bear | c. leclerc

pairing: charles leclerc x reader word count: 1.7k words request: nope. warnings: fluff, a baby, this is really badly written bc i haven’t written an actual story in monthsssss. this was based on this tiktok i saw a few weeks ago, plsss watch it before reading if you want the context, otherwise it won't make much sense. tell me this isn't the most charles energy you've ever seen. a/n: look who remembered her tumblr password. i haven't been on here for so long... what's new? what are the new trends? how are we liking the new f1 season? how are you? perhaps posting once every three months will be my personality from now on.

my masterlist 

“look what i bought.” 

those words were not unusual to hear, especially coming from charles, especially since you found out you were pregnant. you looked up from the book you were reading, raising your eyebrows at the sight of charles’ bright eyes and him trying to bite back a grin.

“so… i was wondering around, and stumbled upon the baby store,” he started, you nodded, knowing he obviously went there on purpose, “and found the cutest, most perfect little suit for the baby,” 

“okay…” you started, placing a bookmark and closing the book as you sat up, extending your arm, asking him to get closer. “is it cute?” 

“the cutest.” he said, placing the bag on the bed and taking out the suit.

“aw, charles,” your heart immediately melted at the sight of a brown bear suit, with a small hoodie and bear ears. “it looks cozy, and big…” you noticed. 

“yeah, she’s gonna look perfect in it.” he said, leaning forward to kiss your lips. after that, he walked to the crib you’d set up in your room, to be able to reach the baby faster in the first few months of her life. in there, you’d set up the bag you would bring to the hospital when she was ready to join the world.

“what are you doing?” you said, getting up and walking to him, you wrapped an arm around him, placing your head on his shoulder.

“i want her to wear this when she comes home,” he explained, and you could tell just by the way he blurted that out a little too fast, that he meant it, and that he’d probably already imagined the sight of your beautiful new baby in his arms. you wanted to tell him that this maybe was a bit too big for her, but you didn’t want to break his bubble.

“okay, but we have to wash this first, alright?” you smiled, standing on your tiptoes to press a kiss to his cheek while he nodded, knowing you were right.

“my little bella bear.” he sighed as he caressed the soft suit.

-

five months later, your little baby girl, isabella, had already outgrown her original suit, your heart broke a little, knowing how much charles loved seeing her in it.

he was currently out of the country, but already on his way back home after a few days on the other side of the world. you were rocking your little girl to sleep when you heard your phone ring. you grabbed it and smiled as you saw charles’ face fill your screen. 

“hey,” you whispered, tilting your phone down so he could see the baby.

“hi, my baby,” he said, making you smile. “why isn’t she wearing the suit?” he asked.

“charles, she wore it yesterday,” you chuckled, remembering the way he almost screamed in delight as he saw her in it the day before. 

“yeah, and?” 

“she can’t wear it every day,” you laughed softly, not wanting to disturb her. “i’ll wash it tonight.”

“okay, i can’t wait to be back home. i want to hold you both,” 

“what time do you get here?” you smiled, having missed him after being away for almost a week. luckily, the next three races were close to home.

“i’m not sure. i’ll check and let you know. but don’t worry, lorenzo will pick me up. can i ask you a favor, though?”

“of course.”

“can you dress her in the bear suit?” he almost pleaded, pouting. 

“fine,” you laughed, “you’ll see your little bear tomorrow.”

-

charles would not, in fact, be seeing his little bear. because one cruel thing about having a baby is how quick they grow. it was bizarre, since just two days ago it still fit her perfectly, but now her legs were a little too long to fit comfortably, her head a little too big to place the hood on it.

you swore under your breath, knowing how heartbroken charles would be once he found out the news. you dressed bella in a different outfit, some white overalls that had little bears embroidered on it with a brown shirt underneath. it was the best you could do. 

but then you received a text from charles.

‘can't wait to see you and bella bear.’ followed by a white heart and a bear emoji. 

“oh, my god,” you mumbled, grabbing bella, your handbag and car keys.

you drove to the store you knew charles had bought the original bear suit from, with bella on your arm, since you didn’t have time to grab her stroller or anything, you were thinking out loud, talking to bella as you walked through the store and looked for the suit.

“the things we do for daddy, he just loves seeing you in that suit,” you said, kissing her temple as you walked through the store. “there it is.” you walked there, looking for the right size. “you know what? let’s get a few more.” you said, grabbing enough suits to hopefully fit her until at least her first birthday. bella giggled, curling her fists on the fabric of the suit. “you love the bear suit, too, don’t you?” you asked her, kissing her cheek. “my bella bear,” you often found yourself repeating the nickname charles gave her from that very first day a few weeks before she was born. 

you quickly drove home and changed her into the suit, and waited for charles to arrive.

“i’m home!” he said, about twenty minutes after you got home. 

“hey,” you walked to him, feeling his hands on your waist as he lifted you up, “i missed you.” you said as you buried your face in his neck.

“i missed you too, my love. i’m so happy i don’t have to travel too far away now.”

“i know. and maybe bella and i can join you?” you asked, having contemplated that idea while charles was gone. 

“you think she’s ready? are you?” you shrugged.

“we won’t know unless we try.” 

“okay, then… we’ll try.” he placed a kiss to your lips, one that took your breath away like it was the very first one. “where is she?” 

“napping,” you answered, slipping your fingers between his and leading him to bella’s room. she’d already upgraded from the crib in your shared room to her own. 

“my little bella bear, i missed you so much,” he said, kneeling in front of the crib and running his knuckle softly against her chubby cheek. “you look so pretty in your bear suit.” 

-

and as months passed, charles was still unaware of the change of suits. every two or three months you’d change into the next size, taking advantage of the weather changing -telling charles that it was too warm for bella to wear it as often-, and the times he had to leave home. you would rummage through the drawers in bella’s room, where you kept all the suits she had grown out of. 

it sometimes came with little slip-ups, like the time you forgot about one small rip in the original suit that you’d sewn together. as a force of habit, charles’ hand reached for that spot, just to make sure it was still there, that it wasn’t growing any bigger. but it wasn’t there. 

“huh,” he hummed out loud, catching your attention.

“what?” you asked, looking up from the puzzle you were piecing together. 

“nothing, it’s just… the rip, it feels weird.” he said, running his finger up and down the place where the rip was supposed to be. 

“oh, maybe it got messed up in the wash,” you said the first thing that came to your mind. 

“maybe,”

“hey, can you help me find this piece?” you asked, changing the subject quickly to get it out of his head. 

in the blink of an eye, her first birthday was approaching, and so did the choice to pick a theme for her birthday party.

“she’s been really into flowers lately,” you told charles one morning, as you both helped bella stand up and encouraged her to walk from parent to parent. 

“hmm… flowers and rainbows?” he said, holding bella up as she steadied herself. “you like that bella bear?” he asked her. you reached to your side holding a flower plushie you’d bought her a few days ago.

“flowers, bella?” you held it in front of you, but bella turned around, playing with charles instead. “that’s a no, i guess,” you chuckled.

“i know…” charles said, setting bella down and walking to her bed. he grabbed her teddy bear, “bears?”

“bear!” you both turned your heads at the same time, staring at bella. 

“oh my god, did she-”

“i think she did, come here,” you said, grabbing the teddy from him, “bear?”

“bear!” she repeated, and you held her in your arms as charles sat next to you.

“your first word, baby…” he murmured, and you looked up at him, heart melting at the sight of his eyes shining bright at your daughter. 

“what about a bear party?” you suggested.

“i was thinking the same thing. i’ll go to the store tomorrow to buy her a new suit, now we can add this one to the collection,” he said, putting on the little hoodie. 

“what?” you asked, completely taken aback by his comment.

“yeah, the drawer filled with the suits,” he pointed at it.

“you knew?” 

“what? that you’d been secretly switching the suits, ripping and sewing it back together so that i wouldn’t notice? yeah,” he said.

“then why- how-”

“that first suit… you really thought i wouldn’t find it weird how the rip was there, then it wasn’t, and then it magically appeared again?” 

“you just loved that suit so much, and i didn’t want to break your heart once she started to grow them out, so i got a bunch and kept them there.”

“i know. i’ve seen them,”

“oh my god,” you groaned, leaning against him as he laughed.

“i love you. it was so hard to keep this to myself.”

“how do you think i felt?” you laughed, looking down at bella. “why didn’t you tell me anything, missy?” you tickled her belly, smiling at her loud giggles. 

“come on, bella bear, we have to go find a new suit for your birthday party.”

BYE this is really bad, i'm sorry.

[intersexcat-tboy]

Happy pride story 💛💜💛

I went to pride this weekend and for the first time in my life, after attending around 10 prides, saw actual intersex flags there.

Prior, I had only seen one tiny dime sized pin saying "this is me". But last weekend, I saw one normal sized flag on the back of a truck with a bunch others, which was a huge relief as I hadn't seen it anywhere. Like at all. The progress flag was the closest I'd see. Usually I only see intersex included on online infographs that list many others (we need to bring those back bc the baby queers don't know what the bear flag is).

Over a million people and I never saw anyone else flying our colors. But I did see this one booth, oh this one beautiful booth out of over 200, this one. This one had those little stick intersex flags (pictured below). I almost started crying. It was a hospital. They had 90% carpenter flags, n the rest were the striped one. I thanked them for acknowledging us and for being the first place that I could get a flag from 🥰 They told me to take two flags, one as a back up! I thanked them again I wanted to cry I was so psyched

The next day, I went to another pride. Small, but alright! Someone at the trans mutual aid booth asked me if I had gotten my intersex flag (showing from my crutch bag) at that event, or if I brought it in. I said I had just gotten it yesterday! He said something like "dang, bc my bf's been looking for things like flags or merch, it's so hard to find ):" before the sentence was finished, I was already pulling out my second one and handed it over. I could really see the bf's expression bc he was a bit too far away but he sounded very thankful 🥳 they also complimented my intersex crop (:

I decided to actually buy a small set of 10 flags, I'm going to another large pride this weekend so I'm planning to hand them out 💖 (car ears + forearm crutches, maybe you'll see me!)

[kissyck]

hiii besties!! it’s been a hot minute since i’ve been on/posted on here and i’ve missed y’all <3 i did some cc shopping and finally opened sims yesterday for the first time in months. made this lil simmie and did a quick edit to post! i’m going to start getting caught up on reblogging and replying to asks, sorry that it’s been such a delay! (also am currently working on some new nails *wink* *wink*) love and appreciate all you lovely humans so much <33

more in depth update below the cut for those interested :)

so i genuinely have no idea how to do quality update posts, but i guess i’ll just go in order of events.

i would say july was fairly eventful. i finished my infusion treatments at the hospital, which ended up making me feel SO much better (i had severe anemia). i genuinely didn’t realize how bad the physical and mental toll that it was taking on my body. i gamed a LOT, just had lost pretty much any interest in the sims. fall guys had become my fixation, and i had started a perfection save in stardew which also became the only thing i wanted to do. i bought more squishmallows. i got another piercing in my ears, and that same day i got fitted and met with a physical therapist so i can start the painfully long process of getting a new wheelchair. i saw a rainbow while driving home from my dad’s house. i took wayyyy too many pictures of my puppy who’s literally ginormous now, and taking all the pics of my kitties!! july ended with a mini road trip to see a comedy show, and i took pictures of clouds the whole way there.

the beginning of august was bittersweet, but was followed by one of the best days i’ve had all year. august 1st i hung out with my best friend in the whole universe before she moved 13 hours away. we’ve dealt with long distance before and talk every day, but this is definitely the farthest we’ve ever been from each other. i’m soo happy for her and am so excited to see all the amazing things she’s gonna do in the future. a few days later, i went on another road trip to nashville!! another bestie of mine was having a concert that i could not miss. plus i love nashville, so i will take any excuse to go. this trip was one of the trips EVER!! i got to see a lot of my internet friends too that i never get to see and i love them all so much. the concert was SOOO good <3 ugh i wish i could go backkkk. i also bought more squishmallows in nash lmaooo. they’re addicting. the rest of august was pretty much uneventful. i played stardew and fall guys with friends, animal snuggles bc they’re all terrified of storms and we had some bad ones, and i bought myself a fancy new mechanical keyboard (the new logitech one from the aurora collection!!) it’s so beautiful, i literally cried when i first opened it.

september was eh. i started a new animal crossing island, which i spent a lot a time playing. that and any animal snuggle i could get. the end of september was a bit rough, i was in pretty low spirits. i lost a close friend of mine earlier this year and it was her birthday. i couldn’t stop thinking about her, which was also making me think of my dog that i had also lost earlier this year (both happened on the same day). there was also some other family stuff, so i didn’t love the end of september. good things did happen though! my furbaby niece came to live with us again. i missed her so much. she’s the cutest lil peanut ever. and i went to the movie theater which was fun! also prepped for my birthday trip since we were leaving the first of october!

and now we’re in october. this month so far has been good! it started with another road trip for my birthday (i turned 23 on oct 4!) this was hands down one of the most fun trips i’ve ever been on. we went to austin for a concert two nights in a row and they were both just so magical. i dressed up fun and went shopping too (yes i bought more squishmallows) honestly that trip would have to be it’s own full post bc so much happened. have just been chilling ever since. was supposed to go on another mini road trip yesterday for a concert but pneumonia went through our house (i didn’t catch it thankfully) so that kind of threw a wrench in our plans. oh and dr. ms. taylor alison swift released an album and it has such a chokehold on me it’s not even funny. i literally cannot describe how much i love her. every time i’m listening to it, my puppy runs in and comes to listen too. she’s got TASTE :) oh and omg i almost forgot, i reached perfection in stardew!!!!!!! this is the first time i’ve ever done that and it was so fun.

[theretirementstory]

5/5/2024. Greetings, not from the Gare de Lyon but from my hospital bed yet again. This date is an anniversary I would rather forget, it is a year to the date since I was “blue lighted” to the hospital at Troyes, where the following day they gave me the news that my cancer had returned. However, a year down the line, although still receiving treatment, I am continuing to write my blog.

As you can imagine (or maybe you can’t) being confined to one room, looking out onto other parts of the hospital, there could be very little to report. However, as you will also know, family and friends keep in touch and so a part of my normality returns.

One of the comforting things about this hospital is that you can choose your own meals. The dietitian came to see me on Monday, she said don’t worry if I can’t eat the hot food as long as I am eating something she is pleased. I showed her “my stash” and she was impressed with what I had brought in. She is sending me extra’s too on my food tray.

Anie, has messaged sending photos of her garden, Monique too has been working in her garden and sent me photos. We have had strong winds and rain (apparently) and I am hoping that those budding cherries have clung onto the branches. I also hope that the wind hasn’t scattered the primulas, in their pots, far and wide around my garden. My American friends are back in Bar-sur-Aube and are waiting to give me a big greeting on my return. They had been back in the states for over a year now so it must be wonderful to return to their dream house in France. I know what it was like when I had four weeks away from my home last year, I am not ashamed to say, I cried as we approached Bar-sur-Aube.

One of my friends in the UK celebrated her 60th birthday at the end of April. Of course my card had been posted off in advance.

We have had the 1st May “jour férié” and people will be looking forward to 8th May “jour ferie”, celebrating Victory in Europe back in 1945. As my son informed me May is the month of holidays here in France.

Yesterday, my granddaughter had her birthday party at her Daddy’s house. Daddy, “The Photographer”, took some photos of her reading the card I had sent and opening her birthday present. I had a video call yesterday afternoon, it was wonderful, I was pretending to be asleep and my grandson was saying cock-a-doodle-do to wake me up. I saw the presents for the birthday girl. It was amazing and at one point the nurse came in to change the drip and my conversation continued with my grandson.

“The Jetsetter” took off for London on Thursday, stayed overnight at the airport and flew to Vancouver on Friday. This was something I had been thinking about doing before I was ill. Not to stay in Vancouver but to make my way to where my Great Uncle went to live back in early 1910’s. His life is something I would love to have more information on but there is no-one now still alive who can give me the information. I do know that he signed up in Victoria BC for World War 1 and was killed in France. I have visited his final resting place.

“The Trainee Solicitor” and the “The Reconnect Navigator” have had a relaxing end to the week. It’s good to recharge your batteries and although a week by a pool may appeal, sometimes it’s just as good to be at home. Of course they went to celebrate my granddaughters birthday too, I am sure she had a smile from ear to ear when she saw her Uncle.

It’s time for the music part of the blog again, I know that a lot of this music is so old but I do throw in “more recent” records like Maroon 5 last week.

This week however, they are still oldies I suppose. The first is from 1980 it’s by Sad Cafe and is “What Am I Gonna Do?”. I actually remember buying the album, having just returned from holiday, with spending money left over. I was in Darlington and saw the album “Sad Cafe Live in Concert”, so I bought it. Loved it so much and still do.

The second song is from Melanie C from 2003 and it’s “On The Horizon”. I loved her “Northern Star”Album and also the album “Reason” from which this song is taken.

So Saturday and Sunday have been days without treatment and Monday is the day of my CAR-T cell treatment. It’s a big day but hopefully for me just a day nearer going home.

I will still be in hospital next week, but as with this week, God Willing, I will be back next week.

Have a good week until then.

[eleftherian]

15 Questions, 15 Friends

Tagged by my fave @drewsaturday 💜😘✨

1. Are you named after anyone? Not technically. Dad found my birthname in the Bible and I chose my current name after the Adriatic Sea 🌊

2. When was the last time you cried? He huh hm memory is hard & time isn’t real sooo maybe yesterday maybe four days ago, but definitely within the week!

3. Do you have kids? HA no. I don’t want any humanoid creatures of my own thanks, but I DO have a toddler niece that I would literally kill for. She’s so fricking perfect and she’s my favorite entity in this universe

4. What sports do you play/have you played? Well. Idk if you’ve heard, but I was the star basketball player on my team in the 2nd grade. (Translation: they threw the ball at me too many times so I stopped showing up)

5. Do you use sarcasm? Whaaaa

6. First thing you notice about other people? I have this habit of complimenting random strangers on things like their eyes and hair and clothes and earrings and nails etc. so the first thing I notice is anything I like that I can tell them I like

7. What is your eye color? A really deep, dark brown (the spaces between stars)

8. Scary movies or happy endings? In the hospital i randomly wanted to watch a scary movie so like yeah i enjoy a good one, by happily ever afters are where its at folks

9. Any talents? I know all the words to All Star by Smash Mouth. Oh and also I taught myself to play both the flute and the piccolo but that’s secondary really

10. Favorite music genre? (Thanks, friend!) really into indie and folksy music. Faves include Florence + the Machine, Two Door Cinema Club, Winterbourne, Hozier, and Mitski (NOT Noah Kahan bc his music makes me sad sry)

11. Any pets? Yes! We have a 90lb labradoodle named Hershey and a 7lb cat we found in a trash can named Jalapeño

12. How tall are you? 5’5”

13. Favorite subject in school? As an undergrad, I loved art history. As a high schooler, I loved Latin. But I have ALWAYS loved every English class I’ve ever taken

14. Dream job? Special collections curatorial librarian (it’s what I’m currently in school for)

15. Something went wrong bc there was only 14 so I’m coming up with another one my ownsies: favorite comfort movie? Mine is the og Ghostbusters! I like the 2016 one with the girl gang too and also the ones with the kids but the og is my fave when I’m sad.

TAGGING: (btw I don’t think I know 15 people irl so this is not going to have 15 people…) @idle-dreary-days @mickletag @genderfcker @satanspersonal666 @psychicsoul97 and anyone who wants to do it! 🩵

[golbrocklovely]

What happened yesterday (if it's not too personal to ask)? Not trying to be nosy or anything, just offering a sympathetic ear - or eyes, I guess- for venting.

i'll share a little bit just bc i need to talk to someone that isn't my family (since they're the story).

and by a little i guess i mean the entire thing lol

this is sincerely, extremely long. i don't really expect you to write anything back - especially with how much shit happens in this story. but thanks for lending your ear. i honestly needed to talk this out.

my mom has chronic pain, on top of heart problems, anxiety, and needing sleeping pills. her primary doctor is out for a month or so, so they had someone else fill in. this guy is a complete and utter dickbag. first off, he doesn't "believe" in anxiety medications and argued with my mom about whether or not she even needs to take them. and then he said that he wanted to wane her off of them slowly bc he doesn't want her on them.

mind you, he is only filling in for her primary doctor.

so he was supposed to fill the scripts on tuesday. she calls, he never sent them to her pharmacy, but said "oh by friday you'll get them." mind you, she was already out of her medicine by tuesday.

my mom, for a couple months now, has been taking advil pms when shit like this happens (usually bc the pharmacy has fucked up tho bc her actual primary doctor is a really good one) bc they somewhat help her sleep (and don't really do anything for her pain, but that's not surprising). for the past couple days, she has been anxious as hell, ready to fly off the wagon at any second, and hasn't been getting much sleep.

she also is disabled, so her ability to walk is very small. she's can't walk far and usually at night falls a lot bc her balance isn't fantastic at night, especially after just waking up.

friday morning, around 4 am, i heard a loud bang come from her room. i heard her door open first and then the bang, so i thought at first maybe the dogs had to go out since they sleep in her room, and then she just accidentally fell or knocked something over.

both me and my brother found her, and she was completely out of it. she didn't know who we were, who she was, what the dogs' name were, and she was riving in pain. we thought we would have to call 911. miraculously, she snapped back to reality. or at least somewhat. we have now chalked this up to her most likely sleep walking (which is something she's never done).

but the rest of the day was not good. first off, from wednesday - friday around 12 pm, my mom had maybe slept collectively 10 hours, if that. that's being extremely generous on my end. after everything that happened at 4-5am on friday, i stayed with her until 6ish and then went back to sleep. i woke up to my brother yelling at her bc it was 12 and she had not slept. he was telling her that we needed to take her to the hospital.

and it was like that the whole day until 4 pm.

not only was she just not sleeping, we believe now that she took too many advil pms (bc of how exhausted she was) and it snapped something in her brain. that piled on top of her anxiety, her chronic pain, her breathing (which is also an issue) being bad for a couple weeks now, and about a million other things on her mind caused this break to happen. this was all keeping her awake. bc when she spoke, she wasn't making complete sense. like she could hold a conversation, she wasn't slurring her words, but she would go on tangents and loop back to certain talking points, regardless of what we were talking about.

like my mom was on oxy for a long time. didn't abuse it, but around the time of my father getting sicker, her doctors were taking her off of it after having her on such a high dose. but that was four years ago, and she was bringing it up yesterday. she kept talking about how it was an addiction and that she doesn't even believe she was actually in pain, she was just addicted to the pills. she also talked really badly about herself, which i won't get into.

now i need anyone reading this to understand: my mom is not an addict. she was prescribed pills that she never abused for 20 years. she has chronic pain, and will have chronic pain the rest of her life. i've seen her fall to the ground from pain, i've heard her cry out in the middle of the night. she's not making it up. there are way too many times i have seen her cry after going to doctors begging to not be on pills anymore bc they weren't working anymore. she doesn't want to live this way, but this is just reality. i have seen the way she has been abused by doctors that don't care, have no time for her, and just see her as an addict bc she was on oxy for so long. anytime she has mentioned about wanting something for pain, they act as if she's begging for pills bc she's a druggie. SHE PHYSICALLY CANNOT WALK FAR BUT THEY THINK SHE IS DOING THIS ALL FOR PILLS. she got discharged from a hospital years go after falling down the fucking stairs bc they saw she was taking oxy and just thought she was a druggie when in reality it was a combo of some medication that was doing it to her - which she was PRESCRIBED. she had a doctor that was giving her shots in her back (which is another thing that has been damaged in her body) that said to her "if i was you with all this pain and taking all these pills, i would have just killed myself. why do you stick around?"

but for some reason yesterday, all of her insecurities and all of the shittiest things my mom has been told over the years came to the surface and she fully believed them. it wasn't just about the pills either, it was about herself and her personal worth too.

and on top of all of that, she just wouldn't go to sleep. and she couldn't tell how much time had passed. she would lay down for not even five minutes, shoot right back up, and think hours had gone by. that's why we were ready to take her to the hospital if she couldn't sleep.

but finally at 4 pm, she went to sleep. and slept until midnight. she barely moved the whole night and we kept checking on her to make sure she was breathing. my brother fell asleep around 10ish, i woke her up at 12, and we talked for a bit. she didn't really remember what had happened friday.

which brings us into today. she's a lot more coherent. but her frame of reference is completely off. the things she did on tuesday she thinks of as a week ago. she doesn't remember talking to certain ppl on the phone that she did on wednesday, she feels like everything we tell her that happened yesterday happened in a dream. we'll ask her what she remembers, she doesn't know much, but when we tell her certain things she goes "oh yeah i remember that". she's not completely better, but she's way more coherent than yesterday.

me and my brother have no clue what happened. we don't know if it was a psychic break, psychosis, withdrawals from her medicines, taking too many advil pms without realizing it, lack of sleep, delirium, the starting signs of dementia, everything and then some - we're not sure. we're keeping an eye on her, and if anything seems worse, we're taking her to the hospital. but so far it feels like things are okay.

just bc this is something else i want to say - not too long ago they had her on xanax. which mind you, for someone her age, basically melts your fucking brain and liver. and for a while there when she was taking them, she was somewhat like this until she finally got this primary doctor who took her off of them bc she knew better than the psychologist or whoever that prescribing them to her. and also, in case anyone reading this is curious as to why we didn't just take her to the hospital: first off, she didn't want to go, and we would rather not take an ambulance which won't take her to the hospital she likes and then on top of that is $1000+ we don't really have to spend. second, we are not doing the best financially so the fewer hospital visits the better. third, we know that bc it was about to be the weekend, unless she was literally dying, all they would do is put her in a room and not do anything to help her until monday bc that's happened before.

if you're wondering how i'm feeling: i'm completely drained. i more defeated than anything else. i hate situations where i feel completely helpless in, and this was and continues to be one of them. i just want my mom back. i want her to be okay, and i'm so tired of her having to go thru shit like this with her fucking doctors. do they not realize they are taking her life in their hands when they act this way?? my brother is about ready to kill this guy, and i mean that very seriously. bc this asshole doesn't """""believe""""" in a medicine my mom takes, he almost fucking broke her brain. and i pray that this is just a fluke and not a permanent problem. bc if it is, i'm taking every single dime this man owns, and i mean it.

i just want things to go back to normal. to even 48 hours ago at this point. things were okay. or at least a certain stress level i'm used to. but the idea of losing my mom rn… i won't be able to manage it.

it really is always one step forward and 12 steps back.

[emma-radfemcanu]

Hi you’re my favourite blog on tumblr and I’m always too scared to message you but I really need a friend for a moment so I’m hoping I can borrow your ear lol

So yesterday was my 25th birthday, it’s also the 15th anniversary of me becoming a Swiftie (I got Fearless on my 10th birthday as a present, instantly fell in love), but instead of being at Taylor’s Eras Tour concert in Sydney (just a state over from where I live) I spent the night at home.

All this because the ticketing company for the Aus leg of the tour is dog shit. Im on a disability pension so I had literally spent years saving up for a chance to one day see her, I didn’t even go to see Harry Styles on tour bc I’ve never seen Taylor live (I’ve never seen Harry live either but Taylor is my priority). I spent 10 hours online trying to get tickets, I didn’t have anyone to help me so I only had one chance. I never once even made it into the online ticket lobby.

I’m actually so crushed. It’s been getting me down for ages but I was hoping that for the actual day of, I might be able to go out with a friend to take my mind off it and hopefully enjoy my birthday but all my friends managed to get tickets and so went to the concert without me. Also just to rub salt in the wound I didn’t get any birthday presents, which like I get it I’m an adult and my family is pretty poor but it still would’ve been nice to at least get a card. My Mum did cook me my favourite dinner which was nice and she and my Dad tried to cheer me up by insisting I watch the SpongeBob movie with them, I used to watch it as a kid whenever I was sick, and it used to work to cheer me up but yesterday it just reminded me of spending my childhood in a hospital and having no friends. So yeah I just feel really shit.

Sorry to dump all this on you but i can’t really talk to any of my irl friends about it bc for some bizarre reason they just say I’m being ungrateful (I don’t get why but that’s just how my friends are lol). I just had to get it out of my system you know? I hope it doesn’t bum you out too much. I spent some time scrolling on your blog and as always it’s cheered me up a great deal so thank you💖

Ok anyway if you read this thank you you’re the best, I’m gonna cry in the shower now lol (btw we have the same name which I think is really cool🥰)

Another rad Emma xxx

Hello! (I am v excited that I can finally answer asks again- I meant to contact tumblr support so many times but was afraid of getting termed, but I saw the beginning of this and it made me finally do it)

I'm sorry that you didn't have a nice birthday :( it sucks when you really look forward to something and then it doesn't work out. It is what it is but you shouldn't feel bad for feeling disappointed- even if your parents did make an effort I get why you would feel sad about it

And unfortunately you definitely weren't the only one who had this experience with Eras tickets- the sales were enough of a shitshow as it was lol, I can only imagine how difficult and frustrating it must be trying to get accessibility tickets. And it was especially crappy timing for you with it being your birthday. I really hope that you'll get to see Taylor (and Harry) someday even if it wasn't to be this time

It was very sweet of you to say that you love my blog 💕 and I am always happy for people to send me stuff so please do if you want to talk!

(although just for clarification my name is not actually Emma haha, my url is a tennis pun)

[uwuwriting]

What did I miss? w/ Hawks and Dabi

Request: Okay so hear me out: Hawks’ and Dabi’s s/o (as separate headcanons, or you can just choose one) is also a pro hero/villain and the lads think she died or something and they just become enraged and they’re so distressed (and the ending is soft because she’s okay and maybe they cry) I love your writing, I hope you have a nice day! -🐍

Lol I had a similar request some time ago for our younger boys which I never got around to doing because I’m bad at fulfilling requests and following orders lol. This will be both hilarious and angsty. Well hilarious if you have my sense of humour otherwise I’ll have to add cricket sounds. Okay maybe its not that funny but oh well, it didn’t make me cry at least. Love ya. 💖💖💖

masterlist

rules

warnings: angst and fluff, mentions of injury and death, swearing. 

Hawks/ Keigo Takami 

-Having two winged heroes on patrol always kinda led to disaster. 

-You both would race each other to your randevouz points or you would mock each other about your wing span. 

- “You know what they say about your wing span? The bigger the wings well....the bigger the assets.” 

-You had bigger wings then him just for a few centimeters but you rubbed it in his face all the time. 

- “Why am I in love with you again?” 

-It really bothers him bc you keep saying he has a smaller dick than you....and you don’t have a dick so.....yeah....anyways. 

-You were on patrol once again, goofing around on a rooftop.

 -It was late at night and you could be a little more handsy since there were’t many possibilities someone could walk in on you. 

-Keeping your relationship a secret is hard and baby can keep his hands to himself for so long until he breaks. 

-Suddenly out of nowhere you started hearing screams and cries for help. 

-Keigo didn’t even get a chance to say anything before you were flying towards the building that was on FIRE. 

-Dashing right after you he entered the building nad he was half expecting to see you there in the entrance, but he saw no one, only a large chunk of flaming wood etched into the mahogony floor. 

-His mind immediately went to the worst scenario possible; it was like he couldn’t control his own thoughts.

-But right then, when his panic was beginning to surface, he heard you calling out for him. 

-The rescue of the residents took around half an hour and it got harder and harder as time went on. 

-The fire was getting out of control and was getting harder to locate everyone.

 -One apartment was left in the end and you could here crying coming from inside. 

-The fire was basically licking at your boots at this point but you weren’t about to let someone burn. 

- “Get those last two outside and I’ll meet you at the rooftop across the street.” 

- “Y/N-”

- “Keigo GO! I promise I’ll meet you outside.” 

-And that was the last thing he heard from you that night. 

-He did as he was told, he got the last two people out of the building and soon after them a toddler was carried out of the building. 

-He waited for you to come out next but you never came. 

-The flames licked at the sky, their tips seeming to be touching the moon. 

-The roof collapsed in on itself making the rescue teams to back away as they looked in horror as the whole flat came crumbling down. 

- “SHE’S IN THERE!” 

-HE doesn’t remember much from that night. 

-He knows he went back inside or at least tried to get past the debris. 

-He remembers seeing the color of your wings, that beautiful white, peeking out from under a fallen beam. 

-He remembers the upper floor almost crashing him as he tried to get you out and then nothing. 

-He woke up in a hospital bed, dressed in one of those white robes his whole body screaming at him not to move. 

-If he was being honest he forgot for a moment the events of the previous night and he was expecting to find you sleeping on the chair next to his bed, your hand in his just like you had done so many times before. 

-But you weren’t there and then everything came pouring in. 

-Frantically he got up and he reached for the door, yanking it open and coming face to face with a doctor. 

- “Where is she?” 

- “Sir you should be in bed, you injuries-” 

- “goddammit WHERE IS SHE?”

-His outburst had attracted some of the nurses but he couldn’t care less about his image right now. 

-Where you gone? But he remembers getting you out from under those fallen stairs. Maybe you were already dead when he reached you. 

-No no no you had promised ot find him outside, you had told him so. That’s why he left, that’s why he did as you said. What was he supposed to do now? Without you here what is he supposed to do?

-Everything was muffled out, the ringing in his ears being to loud to allow him to focus on anything else. 

-His breaths came out shallow as his head swam with thoughts. 

-You couldn’t be gone you just couldn’t he had so much he wanted to do with you, so many things planned you couldn’t-

- “Keigo?”

-He turned around slowly. 

-At first he thought he was dreaming, your voice always seemed to soothe him when he was destressed. 

-But then his eyes landed on you all bandaged up and sporting crutches. 

-You were hurt but you were alive, you were here, you were alright.

- “What did I miss birdbrain?”

-He launched himself at you bringing you flush to his chest as he silently cried. 

-He let a few I love yous slip past his lips before you both entered the privacy of his hospital room. 

-Neither of you spoke for a long time. 

-You just held each other as tightly as your stitches would allow before letting all the tears fall. 

- “I’m here, we’re alright.”

Dabi

-You had been sent out on a mission on your own. 

-Dabi had tried to convince Shiggy to let him go with you but he refused. 

- “I’m not sending you on this one with her. She is the best suited for this job and I’m not letting you mess it up just for your fuck buddy.”

-Shiggy really knows how to push Dabis’ buttons and if you ask me Dabi makes it easy at times. 

-They were a pain in the ass. 

-I mean you are going out on a mission let a girl get prepared in peace.

-Before they could set each other on fire and then dissolve into dust you dragged Dabi away telling Shiggy that you would be going soon. 

- “Really Dabi at times I doubt if you trust me at all.” 

- “It’s not that I don’t trust you dumbass. I just dontwantyoutogethurt.”

-Legit you didn’t hear anything he said but you had an inkling.

- “Oh what was that?”

- “I’m not saying it again.”

- “Here I am going out on a dangerous mission and you won’t even grant me one wish...how cruel.”

-He ended up saying it again but really really begrudgingly. 

- “I’ll be back before you know it, okay?” 

-You kissed his nose then his lips and let out a small I love you before heading down to the bar and getting the last info from Kurogiri. 

-Now Dabi likes to see himself as a very heartless and stone cold individual. 

-But you always were the exception to his behaviors so he couldn’t help but admit that he was worried. 

-The mission was supposed to take three days plus one for you to return. 

-It was still day two and he was ready to pull his hair out. 

-But he promised you that he wouldn’t go out to search for you unless you have been gone for a week or more. 

-So he just waited in agony.

-The moment though that you weren’t back in a week as you said you would be he went into a silent panic. 

-He wanted to be nonchalant about it at first, just casually bringing up your whereabouts in convos with the league or asking Kurogiri of any mission reports from your end. 

-Always came up with nothing. 

-They had lost track of you two days ago and your last contact was yesterday. 

-Now he was sure going to come after you. 

-And no one could stop him. 

-He knew you were strong and that you could handle yourself better than anyone in the league but he couldn’t stop himself from going after you. 

-He had learned from Shiggy that the group you had targeted had a soft spot for torture if they caught someone in their territory.

-His mind of course went first to the worst case scenario, his pessimistc nature getting the better of him as flashes of you hurt on the floor of some basement ran throough his head.  

-It didn’t take him long to reach your randevouz spot, mainly bc he was driving around Tokyo like a maniac. 

-He entered the small house that was marked as you target and the first thing he was met with was blood. 

-It was on the walls and on the floor and he couldn’t tell if this was yours or it was someone elses. 

-Then he heard suffling from a closet nearby. 

-It was a low scratching noise coming from the closet in the far back. 

-He slowly approached it, his left arm letting small blue flames lick his fingertips as he opened the door. 

-And then his heart dropped. 

-Tumbling out of the closets’ interior was you, bloddied and bruised your arms barely keeping you propped up as you landed on the floor. 

-He didn’t miss a beat. 

-He scooped you up, moving stray hairs from your eyes as you barely kept them open.

-Your lip was split and you had a huge bruise right under your left eye. 

- “Hey there baby.”

- “What the fuck happened Y/N?”

-You cringed as he moved his arms under your back, the pain being too much even for you. 

- “They were waiting for me. I sent a message to Shiggy saying that I was coming back but he insisted I finish this. I managed to kill the leader but some of his rookies got to me.”

-He didn’t take you to the hideout. 

-Oh no.

-If he had done that then there would be no Shiggy to lead them and there would’ve been a large fire in that area. 

-He rented a room in a nearby motel. 

-He let you rest while he went out and got you some disinfectants and bandages. 

-Really when he was cleaning you up, if his tear ducts worked properly he would’ve cried. 

-You woke up at some point while he was finishing up and you could feel his trembling and his silent sobs. 

-You wrapped him in a hug, squeezing him as much as you could as you let your tears wet his t-shirt. 

-His hands went up and down your sides and back, pulling you into his lap as he buried his face in the crook of your neck. 

- “I’m alright, see? That’s my heart beat.” 

-You placed one of his palms over your heart in hopes that the subtle thud would calm him down. 

-He really loves you and he won’t let anything happen to you ever again. 

-Even if it kills him. 

TAG TEAM AY: 

@iwaqchan​ @the-arcana-fan-fic​ @angelwritings​ @axerrri​ @reinyrei​ @dnarez​ @bemorefiction​

[tao-lay]

i went to the hospital yesterday and the ent who saw me was giving me taika waititi vibes so that was fun,, but the going to the hospital part bc i cannot hear from my right ear, not so much

[puppy-phum]

some heihua for the soul

so the update for Binding isn’t happening today bc my brain is complete mush after trying to aggressively finish my thesis yesterday and i decided to give my brain two days off bc of that. also, i promised @ashenwren some time to beta read the ending part (which they already did but! now i need some time with it myself) so i am leaving everybody to wait until saturday. 

meanwhile, i am offering yall a sneak peek/first look at my heihua fic which is very loosely tied to my pingxie. basically, this is just me playing around with hei xiazi as a character and his and xiao hua’s dynamic’s more... tender side. 

i know that @jockvillagersonly and ashen have already read this which has been amazing so thank you for your love ♥ but take this again ^^ also thanks to @cross-d-a for listening to me ramble about heihua and sharing this idea with me. and thank you to @i-am-just-a-kiddo​ who i’m doing all of this for ♥ you are the best parent-in-law for these two and this fandom!

It’s a bad week for him. 

First, it’s the girl he finds while raiding a warehouse full of smuggled weapons and possibly, most likely, drugs. She’s maybe twelve, eyes wide and hair messy, bones poking her skin where Hei Xiazi can see her elbows flashing under her short sleeves. There are bruises around her wrists and burn marks on the inside of her arms. She doesn’t speak but she doesn’t have to, all of her screaming of experiences worthy of a hundred years instead of a dozen. 

She presses her face into her hands when Hei Xiazi fires his gun, and he feels something come loose inside of him at the broken, aborted noise she makes that rings louder than the shot itself. 

Hei Xiazi carries her kicking and screaming out of the warehouse, leaving behind the slowly ending gun fight and the smell of gasoline. She only goes silent once Hei Xiazi puts her down, flinching bodily away from him but not going far. She hovers, fingers slowly curling around the hem of his long jacket while they wait, shoulders hunching against the cold. Hei Xiazi offers her his jacket with a smile, buys her a sandwich which she then throws up, and helps her into a hospital once they’re safe to leave. 

No one else stays behind with her. All the other people they found from that warehouse scattered as soon as the fight began and only she remained, lost in the thought of having to leave the premises that had become her world. She has no family, no house, no money. Hei Xiazi watches her leave with the social workers, bones of her wrists like twigs threatening to snap even after some proper meals and eyes so big they seem to swallow the light around her. She still hasn’t said a word. Hei Xiazi doubts she ever will. 

Her pale face looks like a ghost as she turns to give Hei Xiazi one last glance over her shoulder, and that’s what she becomes to him once he goes home and puts that warehouse out of his mind. It’s hard and he feels himself haunted, and whatever it was that got loose in his chest rattles like the tail of a snake. 

Then, he hears about Su Wan. Hears about the mission that went south with the three youngsters. Hears about Su Wan getting hurt. 

It isn’t anything new in their line of business to get hurt, to even die. When he first met the boy in the desert, he predicted he would find him six feet under after only a day. There was too much softness in Su Wan, too much trust, too much naivete. He had a big brain and clever ideas but his core was gooey, leaking out in way too telling bursts, leaving nothing hidden. 

Su Wan had reminded Hei Xiazi of young Wu Xie. Even his floundering with his knife had reminded him of Wu Xie. Even his adaptability had been annoyingly similar to Wu Xie’s, and Hei Xiazi had questioned his taste in students. At least the boy had paid better. At least the boy hadn’t been wishing to die. 

He had not expected, after knowing all of that, to experience such fear when he first heard that Su Wan had gotten himself stabbed and had almost bled out in a cave, with only Li Cu and Yang Hao to look after himself and a saving bed of a hospital hours away. His hands had shook, making it impossible to hold anything while trying to breathe, and he had quickly been reminded of the little girl, torn open and going a bit feral just because she didn’t know what to do.

It was a surprisingly new thing to care. As surprising as the fact that he still knew of such things.

“I thought I had taught you better, kid,” he says as he goes to the hospital, in the middle of the night of all things, having to cover Su Wan’s mouth so that he doesn’t scream and wake up the better half of the city. The boy’s eyes are wide and heartbeat rapid under his fingers where he can feel it pulsing against Su Wan’s jaw. Then the boy is scrambling at his fingers to speak from between them. He pulls his hand away. 

“Hei-ye!” the boy whispers fervently, like an anchor casted in water. “I thought you were out of the country!”  

“I was until yesterday when I heard that you got stabbed,” he explains, voice leaning more towards mockery than any actual care. Su Wan knows what that means. The boy knows more than anyone else has ever known about a person like Hei Xiazi. It’s a strange thing but Hei Xiazi has come to almost like it. 

“I’m fine!” the boy chirps, lighting up like a lightbulb. Hei Xiazi helps him sit in his bed, snatching a chair for himself from the corner, and then evaluates the damage. Su Wan is smiling while a thick roll of bandages circle his stomach. There are at least thirty stitches there, curving along his side. Some more adorn his bicep where he tried to evade another blade. A darkening bruise is making his cheek swell, casting an extra shadow under his chin. 

Hei Xiazi sighs and closes his eyes when Su Wan starts to tell the story, his voice a soft whisper made even softer with lingering sleep. The beep of the machines tell Hei Xiazi the boy is alive. The painful thrum of his own heart tells him he’s alive too. 

Su Wan falls asleep holding onto Hei Xiazi’s sleeve. He cannot remember how the boy got the leather between his fingers but prying his hold away is like bending steel. It feels impossible and burns equal amounts. 

Finally, he slips back into the cold night. 

He doesn’t go to his apartment, the one he’s currently occupying, his few belongings strewn across the floor and nothing making the place feel like his. Even after years and years and years, some part of him still feels sick at the thought of emptiness. He’s tried his hardest to carve his bones empty and chest clean but after each year spent alone or with someone or wanting, he realizes it’s a battle he cannot win. There’s something terribly strong under his ribs. It refuses to die even before his curse of immortality and the knowledge that goes beyond his comprehension. It refuses to die even when facing the cold, cruel world. 

The walls surrounding the Xie Manor are high but not high enough to keep him at bay. If they were, he would’ve never come here. He would’ve never returned, not after he once left. 

Climbing up the wall of the manor to the third floor makes his lungs burn, but then he’s pushing the window open already, stepping silently onto the polished floor. 

“Xiazi,” a familiar voice says, not even pretending to sound sleepy. “It’s three in the morning. Is it really a suitable time to be visiting the head of Xie family?”

Hei Xiazi smiles, shrugging off his leather jacket and placing it onto the back of a chair beside him. The air in the room feels chilly with the window open but he likes to hear the noises from outside and he likes the line of silver painted onto the floor and across the luxurious double bed. He likes that he can pretend his vision is so clear just because of the moon. 

“Hua’er-ye,” he says back, voice like honey because he loves to tease this man and loves how the tone makes his perfect eyebrows pinch. “Are you sure this isn’t a dream?”

“I would dream you naked at least, not dripping mud all over my floors.”

“As you wish,” he says and reaches for his own belt before moving closer to the bed, toeing his shoes off on the first two steps.

Xie Yuchen is warm but firm when Hei Xiazi meets his body, crashing into his lips and then slipping hands down his silk covered spine. He hums, hiding his laugh. He’s always loved the absolute brilliance and practicality and strength of this man but under all that, Xie Yuchen is a little spoiled. A rich family head. A powerful man with more money than Hei Xiazi could possibly imagine. He’s never tried, not really caring. For all his acting, he’s never gone for Xie Yuchen for his money. 

He takes care of helping Xie Yuchen out of his expensive pajamas, kissing him wet and shivering after each uncovered piece of skin. There is something beautiful about Xie Yuchen in the stark light of the moon, eyes burning bright and the line of his throat like an invitation. Hei Xiazi wishes he could tell him that, sometimes, but he’s preferred to seal his lips. His poetry would not suit the ears of Xie Yuchen. 

He’s never been one for pretty words, crude and almost barbaric instead, tongue made out of barbwire and mind of a strategic plan. Between them, all those edges exist in harmony, and so he’s never felt the need for anything more, enjoying the simplicity of just being. 

Ironically, as the sun is already rising, coloring the horizon with its colorless light, he still descends into words. It’s like something is pulling them out of his chest, and when there’s a force outside of his control beneath his ribs, he cannot do anything but unravel upon Xie Yuchen’s white satin sheets.

“There was this girl,” he says, looking into the still remaining dark – or as dark as anything can be for his eyes, that comfort taken from him ages ago. “I saved her from a warehouse a couple of days ago. She didn’t speak, couldn’t eat because she’d been kept hungry for so long. There were burn marks on her arms, probably from cigarettes or a lighter. They told me she was thirteen. She didn’t look like she was thirteen.”

Xie Yuchen’s hands are on his back, brushing lightly against his shoulder blades, drawing something there. His heartbeat is steady under Hei Xiazi’s cheek and his skin burns, burns, burns. He remembers how he had looked at that girl in the eyes and seen himself there. 

“I remember,” he says quietly, closing his eyes, “feeling the same burn on my skin. I have no memories of when or why but I know there were cigarettes. I know her pain. I know the scars.”

“Were you a child back then?” Xie Yuchen asks, his body a strong, sturdy thing against him. A rock. A mountain. He never thought he would feel lost in this world but there is something about himself in every child he’s ever saved, in all of their wide, fearful eyes, in all of their screams, their desperate fight, their bared teeth and messy heads of hair. There’s something about him in all of their thrumming, wild panic, like a bird under their skin; in their desperation to get away, to find a place to belong, to find safety and food and trust. To heal a body that has not been their own or has felt like an enemy or a liability or a curse. 

He cannot remember the time he was a child, cannot remember the time before he went blind and began to see too much, cannot remember being anything but this eternal man on the outskirts of the world. He cannot remember ever having a family or feeling the absence of it. 

But then, there’s this echo in his mind. It rings back from the eyes of every child he’s ever tried to help. He thinks, maybe, he still knows how he lost. 

“I only remember being burned,” he says. “I only remember the pain and being afraid. And isn’t that a stupid thing to remember when it could be so many things?” He laughs, as much as it can be a laugh when something twists inside of his chest, bringing tightly together that something that was let loose. He chokes on it, feeling his voice die down. Xie Yuchen turns beside him so that they both lie on their sides, looking at each other. The line of the moon falls over Xie Yuchen’s hips and almost lands on Hei Xiazi’s waiting hand. 

“Bad things linger,” Xie Yuchen says with a certainty of a man who knows this to be true. During the years, Hei Xiazi has learned a couple of the bad things that happened to this proud man. “But you are turning them into something good.”

“And how much does it change to save a couple of children?” he huffs, tired of the heart that cannot leave him at peace.  

“For them, everything.”

[stevesharrlngtons]

what i want.

roman godfrey x reader

summary: takes place in s1 of hemlock grove just after roman’s coma and the aftermath.  

word count: 3.1k

a/n: yeaaahhhh so i know this is st related but it felt more right to post this here over my marvel account? anyways, i just really really wanted to write for roman and this poured out of me yesterday (which is surprising bc i can’t remember the last time i wrote a fic all in one day) but even though i already know this is gonna flop, i wanted to post it anyway just for fun (: i hope you enjoy and if you do read, please let me know that you think!!!!

With an ear pressed to his chest and a hand cradling his neck, you counted the rhythmic beats of his frail heart.

He looked the same, felt the same, smelt the same; but the man we lay still below you wasn’t Roman. Not in the metaphorical sense at least. This man who’s lashes lay gently against the apples of his cheeks obscuring his large doe eyes, wasn’t your love. He was still and quiet and lacked the emotion of your Roman. Your Roman who could never hide how he really felt, who wore every feeling on his sleeve, unable to mask his emotion.

At least, always around you.

A soft french ballad played in the background as you hunched over his hospital bed in the attic of the Godfrey home. You could hear the faint scratch of the needle against the vinyl, more so when there was a lull between songs.

Heavy footsteps entered from your right and you knew before they reached you that it was Shelly to fetch you for school.

“I know, Shell.” You said quietly, like you might wake Roman from his restless sleep if you spoke any louder, “I just need a few more minutes with him.”

The tall girl loomed over you both, watching you stroke Roman’s cheek lovingly with your thumb, the rest of your nimble fingers still holding his thin neck.

She had never experienced the kind of unequivocal and palpable love that she did when she observed you and Roman together. She often wondered if all the tales of true love and soulmates that were regaled in some of her favorite novels were actually true? Because the way you looked at Roman, and the way Roman looked at you, could not be fabricated or faked.

After a long beat of silence, Shelly gripped her phone and typed out a simple message to you.

“I miss him, too.”

She could see tears forming in your eyes once more. Your eyes that seemed to have not ceased their perpetual filming for the last two weeks Roman had been under.

All you could was nod in response. When Shelly placed a dense hand on your shoulder, you silently wept.

It all felt so surreal. But Roman was always larger than life, you probably should have prepared for something like this. You were just so scared.

That night two weeks before, when he had come to you in the pouring rain, drenched to the bone, you had been scared then, too. Roman was dramatic, yes. But never anything like this. He trembled fiercely and his fingers twitched and his muscles rippled with fear.

He didn’t seem himself as you wrapped him in blankets and placed him in your bed to warm his icy bones. You had wound your arms around him as he cried into your neck, tears and snot streaking your skin as you soothed him the best you could.

“I’m ugly, I’m a monster, I am unlovable and disgusting.” He chanted between hiccups and deep intakes of breath, like he was under a spell.

“Please stop, please don’t say that. You’re not, you’re not, you’re not. I love you, I always will.” You whispered sincerely to him, beginning to shutter yourself at the uncharatieric behavior he was displaying.

He startled you even more when he grasped your wrists together with one hand and flipped you onto your back, meeting you with a fierce kiss before you could comprehend his actions.

It was all teeth and tongue and labored breathing as Roman pulled your strings in only the way that he could. Once he was inside you, he only became more brutal. It was more pain than pleasure as he looked at you with soulless eyes and his mouth agape. But everything Roman was, was good. Even now he felt like heaven.

When he had finished and pulled two orgasms from your body, he collapsed on top of you. You cocooned him with your limbs, whispering loving words and frightened questions as his body seemed to pass out from sheer emotional exhaustion, anchoring you beneath him.

The next morning, you were dressed in nothing but Roman’s cardigan and tucked underneath your duvet with no knowledge of his departure the night before.

It was only minutes after you woke that Olivia called to curtly inform you of Roman’s condition.

You placed your own hand, the one not holding Roman, over Shelly’s and squeezed it.

“He is so lucky to have you.” You said, swallowing thickly to look up and give Shelly a smile, “He loves you so much, I know he’ll wake just for you.”

Shelly knew you were trying to soothe her as well, something you had a knack for since you came into the two Godfrey’s lives. She appreciated it greatly, but wished you would let yourself swim and stop trying to make sure she stayed afloat.

“You, as well. He will wake for us.” Shelly typed and you squeezed her hand in a tight pulse.

“We can only hope.”

You dropped Shelly’s hand as she went to turn the music off while you kissed Roman goodbye.

“Where, today?” Came Shelly’s mechanical voice as the music ceased.

“His left eyelid.” You replied, standing up and stroking Roman’s porecelain cheek.

You had taken to kissing a new part of Roman each day as you left him. To cherish him even while his mind was missing. You were saving his lips for when he woke, hoping his subconscious would crave your mouth on his enough to jar him from his slumber. Roman was never quiet about his appreciation for your lips.  

“And tomorrow?” She asked.

“The other.”

As you sat in english class, you couldn’t help but feel Peter’s absence in the seat next to yours. With neither him nor Roman around, you felt off kilter. The boys had been going through a rough patch lately, but Peter was still your friend when Roman wasn’t looking. Giving you winks that would reply with an eye roll, and chatting between classes. You believed you could mend the fence between the two men by simply being Switzerland, but after the police incident, Peter wasn’t so sure.

But you and Roman were alike in many ways, you told Peter as much.

“You two will work this out. Even if it gets hard.” You say flippantly one day as you rummaged through your purse for a tube of lipgloss.

“Yeah? And how do you know? Are you an oracle and just haven’t told me?” Peter jokes as you take the cosmetic from your bag.

You remove the fuzzy doe-foot applicator from the pink make up with a loud squelch and smirk at him.

“Because not only do I know everything,” a swipe of the goods on your lips, “But, I always get what I want.”

Now, his absence along with Roman’s seemed to be significant. Connected.

And then you got a call.

And the ID almost gave you a heart attack.

You fled the classroom without the formality of an excuse. It wasn’t any secret that you and Roman were a couple, so some teachers had been far more lenient with you since he had fallen under. Thankfully, Ms. Day was one of them.

You ran from the class and around the corner for the veil of privacy before you picked up the call.

“Roman?”

“God, how I’ve missed your voice.” He said, punctuated with his melodic laugh.

You burst into tears, clenching your phone tightly in your sweating palm as Roman cooed to you.

“Hey, hey, no. No tears, baby. Too fucking hot to be sad, you know that?”

“I’m not sad, God no! These are tears of joy, of fucking relief.” You felt suddenly very fatigued from the worry and dread escaping your body at the sound of Roman’s voice, and slid down the wall to the grey linoleum below.

“Good, hate to think you’d forget about me after two weeks out of commission.” You could see his smile in your minds eye and your stomach twinge with love.

“You know I could never forget about you.” You replied, whipping your damp cheeks on the back of your hand.

“I’m glad. I was counting on it.” You can see his smirk now.

“Dick.” You laughed and he did as well.

“Eh, you love me.”

“Yeah, yeah I do.”

There was a silence and you wished so helplessly that he was in your arms. Your Roman. Not the still and sterile one. The one with a wicked tongue and a beautiful smile that he offered to you so freely.

It was in this silence though, that you heard the purr of an engine.

“Baby, are you in a car? Are you with Olivia?”

“Uh, no. Not exactly.” And the bubble of joy popped just as it had formed.

“Roman, where are you? Why are you in a car?”

“It’s nothing for you to worry about, my love.” He hummed quietly his adoration and immediately you knew what was happening.

“Put Peter on the phone.”

“How did you-”

“Just fucking do it, Roman.”

You could hear him curse, then the shuffle of the phone being passed between hands.

“Hey, (Y/N/N), how’ya doin’?” Peter asked, faking a calm tone.

“Let’s forget the goddamn pleasantries, Peter. What in the living fuck are you doing trying to track this wolf when Roman just rose from the dead?”

“Rose from the dead sounds a bit dramatic, don’t you think?”

“Does it sound like I give a shit?”

“Frankly, no. It doesn’t.”

“And what does it sound like I give a shit about?”

“Probably Roman not doing this right now.”

“Bingo, Fiddo. Now you either take him back to his house or I am coming to find you two and I promise you, I can be scarier than Olivia.” You hissed into the receiver, looking around to make sure no rouge students in the halls were hearing your conversation.

“Oh I don’t doubt it. But this was his choice, (Y/N). Nothing neither of us can do anything to change his mind.”

“Peter, I swear to-” This time, you were the one cut short.

“Baby, listen,” Roman said after commandeering his phone back.

“No, Roman, you listen! I know you have some attachment to helping kill this thing, but now isn’t the time.”

“But it is. It’s complicated, but you just have to trust me on this.”

“I do trust you, Ro. I do. But I don’t trust whatever this thing is.” You sighed, leaning your head back against the wall, “Unfortunately I do trust what it is capable of. Which is a fuck tone pain.”

“I’ll be safe. I have Peter, Peter’s got me. I got this. We know what we’re doing.”

“Wish I could believe that.”

“Baby, I promise. I swear, even. We are gonna find some answers and then I’ll be home to you in one piece.”

You pause and Roman calls your name from the phone, his voice vulnerable.

“It’s funny. This morning you were in a coma and you were more safe then than you are right now.”

“I love you.” Roman says firmly.

“I know.”

Another pause and you know you can’t scold your way out of this one.

“Just… please call me when you get back. I don’t think I can take another minute of being away from you.” Your tears were beginning again.

“Me too. You’re all I can think about,” Roman sniffles, “I need you, I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

You both sit in silence on the line before Roman tells you he needs to go.

“Ok… but hey, Turner?”

“Yeah?”

“Tell Hooch to be careful. Both of you just… be careful.”

“Always.”

And the line goes dead.

After school you debated going straight to the Godfrey residence to wait for Roman to return, but decided against it. You weren’t sure exactly what Olivia knew and didn’t know, and didn’t feel like being alone with her while you figured it out.

So, you waited anxiously in your bedroom, doing everything possible to quell your shaking nerves. You had a perpetual tremor in your body as fiddled with your phone to try and distract yourself. Which was partly true, the other reason your phone was glued to your palm was so you would know the second Roman contacted you.

Though, as the sun descended in the sky and the night sky spanned for hours, you were becoming more restless. Whatever Peter and Roman were doing was no doubt dangerous and time sensitive, and it made you sick that it was nearing midnight without any word from either boy.

As the night continued to wear on and your mind ran away from rationality into an amalgamation of pure fear and absurdity, you decided you couldn’t sit around anymore. You weren’t going to wait for Roman to call and tell you he was home safe. You were going to drive to his house and wait for him there, and if he wasn’t back in an hour, you’d go out looking for him yourself.

As you put on a pair of house slippers and a sweatshirt over your nightgown, your phone vibrated on your vanity. Your heart began to speed up in your chest as you rushed over to the table and picked up your buzzing phone. On the screen was a text alert from Roman, with only one word present:

Come.

And you didn’t need to be told twice.

When you arrived at the Godfrey’s, you fled your car so quickly you almost forget the keys in the ignition. You ran up the front steps and banged both fists on the door needing to use your excess anxiety and adrenaline for something. And while you didn’t want to face Olivia’s wrath, your judgment was clouded by the chance of seeing Roman, alive and well.

When Roman finally opened the door, you wasted no time throwing yourself into his arms. He stumbled at the impact of your embrace, but was quick to remedy his shock by wrapping his arms around you. The feeling of this made your throat constrict.

“Jesus fucking Christ I missed you.” Roman all but growled as he firmly smoothed flyaways from your hair and placed his strong hand on the back of your neck.

“You have no idea how much I missed you, Ro.” You said, voice thick with tears as you began to pepper kisses anywhere you could reach.

Neck, jaw, ear, temple, cheek, shoulder, trap, clavicle, repeat.

Roman groaned appreciatively in your ear as you covered him in your lips.

“You scared me half to death you know?” You said between kisses.

“I know, I’m sorry. Things have been… odd. I still can’t remember it all.” Roman says, his tone confused.

“Well, Olivia said-”

“I know what she said. I just don’t know if I believe it.”

You furrowed your brows and tried to wiggle in his hold, silently signaling for Roman to place you back on your feet, but he only gripped you tighter.

“Not yet. Just, stay a while.” His voice wavered.

You finally pulled back to look at him, his eyes red from tears and shadowed. Sometimes it was difficult to look at him, his beauty and pain were just too much.

“I’m staying, Roman. You couldn’t get me to leave if you wanted to.” You reply.

A wash of emotion washes over his features as his lip quivers and his eyes attempt to blink back tears. You opened your mouth to try and alleviate him of whatever he was feeling when his mouth crashed to yours.

You forgot how good his lips felt against yours as your mouths meshed together. The velvet of his tongue and the mint and smoke on his breath. His hands gripping you everywhere as he pressed you impossibly close, moaning into you with deep primal noises sounding from his chest.

“Roman, baby,” You pulled away for air and Roman promptly moved his attention to your neck and clavicle. “I need you. Take me upstairs, I can’t wait any longer.”

Roman groaned and bit you hard on the shoulder before hitching your legs higher on his hips and running you both up the winding staircase behind him.

Bruises, at the behest of his mouth and fingers, littered your body as you lay on Roman’s chest as you both still reeled in the blissful aftermath of your climaxes. Roman’s fingers idled along and spine while his unoccupied hand rested behind his head.

He had begun to tell the tale of his night, of Peter and the turn and Chasseur and his mother. He told you Peter was upstairs unconscious and that he was unsure what was going to happen when he woke.

“So, after all this, everything’s still shitty? Is that what you’re saying?” You muttered.

“Essentially. But I have hope… we’re going to figure this out. I know it.” Roman nodded, like he is reassuring himself more than you.

“Me too. You two are smart,”

“You flatter me.” Roman chuckles and looks down at you.

“Just trying to butter you up to get into your pants.” He laughs again and slaps your ass.

“Clearly it’s working.” He replies.

“Well that, and I always get what I want.” You say with a content smile.

Roman hums, “Don’t I know it.”

“You enable it.”

“Again, I know.” He kisses your forehead and you burrow closer to him.

You two lay in silence a bit longer before he sighs.

“I think we should move to sleep in the attic. Just in case something happens with Peter and he needs us.”

We. Us.

The small implication in his word choice makes you smile and once again fall under a wave of emotion, just so happy that your Roman was back to you.

You don’t know what you had done if there was no we or us with Roman any longer. But you choose to not fixate on the past.

You just nod and kiss the underside of his chin. Roman gives you a small grin and begins to get up. As you do the same, Roman throws you one of his white button downs, giving you a stern look as you raise an eyebrow in question.

“Just put it on. I got two weeks to make up for, baby. It started with reuniting, then fucking, and now you in my shirt.”

You try to hold off the wide smile that was threatening to take over your face and put on the shirt, buttoning it to just above your cleavage.

“Yeah? And what’s next?” You ask, watching Roman round the bed toward you.

“Sleep.”

Now in a pair of threadbare silk pajama pants and nothing more, Roman extends his hand to you.

“Shall we?”

“We shall.” You reply, taking his hand, weaving your fingers as he led you to the attic.

i hope you enjoyed even though it was for a different show!! and if you did, pls i’d love some feedback (:::: also let me know if you would possibly want another roman fic bc i have other ideas lol

[adhdvane]

so i went to the er yesterday morning (?? it was like 5 am yesterday so i guess it counts as yesterday and not 2 days ago). i was in extreme pain on the left side of my face around my jaw and ear and stuff. honestly the first time i’ve ever been in such excruciating pain that i was sobbing holding back screaming (it started around 2:30 am). :) was diagnosed with trigeminal neuralgia and given seizure medication bc that’s what they treat it with to help nerve pain. now i need to make an appointment with a neurologist. (i did get a ct scan at the hospital to make sure they could rule out something wrong with my sinuses or an abscess in my gums, which my mom was worried about, but the doctor doubted because if that was the problem it shouldn’t be causes pain on both the upper and lower jaw, and it was very unlikely that i suddenly had two of them pop up at the same time and cause pain in both places, thankfully the ct scan showed there wasn’t any.) it’s apparently uncommon for someone as young as me to experience this :) so far it’s mostly working (the pain that started at 2:30 finally subsided around 9 am yesterday). though it hurt like hell last night for a while (before sort of subsiding and i passed out some time around 3 or something idk i know i took stuff at 5 am and passed out again but woke up in pain again at 7 am and took stuff pain killers (bc i was told to take those too) and passed out again and woke up around 11 am not in pain?? and im okay now. i mean at least i was able to sleep and took the meds and pain killers at 1 bc im supposed to do it every 8 hours. it was weird but like previously i hadn’t slept all night to i passed out that day at like 9 am and slept til 4 so my sleep was messed up.). i can’t lay on my left side at all. i didn’t take my adhd meds yesterday so i could sleep bc i got zero sleep the night before because of the pain. so i’m back on them today so i feel a little weird. i just need to get this shit under control so i can go back to work.

[ybcpatrick]

Favourite fall out boy songs lyrics?

i'm sorry i've sat on this for a minute!! i've got a BUNCH, at least one for each album, and multiple for save rock and roll. i'll pop them under the cut bc this will be a LONG post:

i hate the way you say my name / like it's something secret / my pen is the barrel of a gun / remind me which side you should be on

the pros and cons of breathing

your remorse hasn't fallen on deaf ears / rather ones that just don't care / 'cause i know that you're in between arms somewhere / next to heartbeats where you shouldn't dare sleep

my heart is the worst kind of weapon

we're the lifers / here to the bitter end /condemned from the start / ashamed of the way the songs and the words own the beating of our hearts

sophomore slump or comeback of the year

i loved you in the same way there's a chapel in a hospital

hum hallelujah

they say the captain goes down with the ship / so when the world ends, will god go down with it?

what a catch, donnie

composer but never composed / singing the symphonies of the overdosed

from now on, we are enemies

i want to teach you a lesson in the worst kind of way / still i'd trade all my tomorrows for just one yesterday

just one yesterday

i would sing to you every day / if it would take the pain away / oh, and i've heard you've got it, got it so bad / 'cause i am the best you'll never have

sometimes before it gets better / the darkness gets bigger / the person that you'd take the bullet for is behind the trigger

miss missing you

as alone in a little white church in the middle of the desert getting burned / and i'll take / your heart served up two ways / i sing a bitter song / i'm the lonelier version of you / i just don't know where it went wrong

rat a tat

and it's our time now / if you want it to be / maul the world like the carnival bear set free / and your love is anemic / and i can't believe / that you couldn't see it comin' from me

i'm yours / when it rains it pours / stay thirsty like before

the kids aren't alright

i'm sifting through the sand, sand, sand, sand / looking for pieces of broken hourglass / tryin' to get it all back / put it back together / as if the time had never passed / i know i should walk away / know i should walk away / but i just want to let you break my brain / and i can't seem to get a grip / no matter how i live with it

bishops knife trick

sometimes the only way out is through

bob dylan

[jougogo]

tsukki, iwa, daichi, kuroo, sakusa, akaashi, and shibayam with an s/o who’s afraid of needles getting a flu shot

a/n: wrote this in honor of me getting of me getting my flu shot yesterday and NOT CRYING FOR THE FIRST TIME WOW WE LOVE GROWTH

characters: tsukishima kei, hajime iwaizumi, sawamura daichi, kuroo tetsuro, sakusa kiyoomi, akaashi keiji, shibayama yuuki

tw: mentions of needles

tsukishima

"kei, i don't like needles," you whined

"well, you still have to get them. are you really this weak? i thought you were stronger," he responded nonchalantly

ok that pissed you off

"HMPHH I'LL PROVE IT TO YOU" 

but once you were on the seat with the shiny syringe right in front of you?

all that confidence was g o n e 

"remember, you said you'd prove it to me." he smirked

you gulped and shut your eyes tightly

you could've sworn you felt his hand rest on your thigh as the shot was administered

you don't know what you were expecting, but the sting was only momentary and within a couple seconds, you were finished.

"ouch." you quietly yelped.

"see, you were just being a dramatic. tsk, weakling," he flicked your forehead

nurse looked kinda concerned ngl

but afterwards he'll carry your bags for you and open the doors bc he's proud

"good job, my weakling,"

"tsukki istg"

iwaizumi

iwa knew about your fear of needles

he found out when he noticed you grip the pushpin tightly between your fingers everytime you have to pin sticky notes to the corkboard you had above your desk

so when it was flu shot season, he'll def volunteer to get it done together w you

iwa bby being such a gentlemen gahh i cant

i can see oikawa as someone who was prob also afraid of needles, so iwa knew how to handle situations like this

"iwa-chan but they're pricking my arm and i'm gonna be numb how am i going to practice volley-"

 b o n k 

"get over it brattykawa"

jkjk he'll be so gentle and patient with you

"hey hey it's okay, dont look at the needle. look at me" he turned your face towards his, cupping your cheek to prevent you from seeing the syringe from your peripheral vision

you gazed into his pretty green eyes. 

oh, how they resembled a lush rainforest, full of tropical plants and-

before you could even realize it, the needle jabbed into your tender arm

"ouch," you groaned, leaning your head against his muscled chest.

"see, you did it!" he congratulated you, his lips curving into a small smile as he patted your head

he rolled up the sleevs of his t-shirt to reveal gloriously toned beefy biceps as the nurse administered his flu shot

ok this view is def worth the pain

as expected, he took it like a champ. manz didn't even tense up

afterwards he'll take you out for ice cream hehe

daichi 

when you confessed to daichi about your fear, he was so confused

"but i see you sewing stuff all the time?"

"dai that's different im not sticking the needle in my body bro"

ohhh ok ok now he gets it

he'll be so supportive the entire time!

"hey, i know you'll do great, okay? you're the bravest person i've ever met. you dont think a little thin piece of metal will get to you, do you baby?" he whispered reassuring words into your ear and brushing a stray piece of hair away from your face

when it was time for the nurse to give you the shot, you curled your body towards him ever-so-slightly

but he noticed and he thought it was the cutest thing

"hey, i'll protect you, don't worr-" he was cut off

you were gripped his shirt tightly in your fist and wincing at the pain

"ow ow ow" you mumbled into his shoulders as you felt the sting

"you're doing so good, sweetheart," he ran his hand up and down your back, attempting to sooth you

when it's all finally over he'll drive you over to his place so he can cuddle and "protect" you from the scary movie he very conveniently insisted on playing.

kuroo

"babe, you know you have to get your flu shot. what if you accidentally pass a deadly flu to my grandpa? you'd have to stop coming over to my house,"

your loving boyfriend kuroo was currently trying to get you to release your tight grip from the front door of your house

"i don't want to get your grandpa sick, but i don't want to have a needle poke me," you wailed, tears flowing down your cheek

he got tired and just carried you in his strong arms to the car and drove to the hospital, despite your protests

"THIS IS KIDNAPPING TETSU, YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME," you screamed

he just whistled and rolled down the windows so everyone can hear

ofc, you shut up right then and there

"i'll get you back for this," you hissed

once you got to the hospital, you had no other choice but to oblige to kuroo as he dragged you through the halls to the vaccination rooms

the nurse was kind, but your heart was pounding

"te-tetsu, will you hold my hand" you whimpered when the nurse went to retrieve the tray

"of course, babygirl", he replied, putting his hands on top of your trembling ones

his large hands completely enveloped yours

when the nurse pricked the syringe into your arm, he squeezed your hands

"see, that wasn't too bad, right?"

"yeah, whatever" *sniffle sniffle*

also the type to take you for ice cream afterwards.

sakusa

"you may not come near me until you have received your flu shot," your beloved boyfriend declared

"omi omi but i need you. and also we were just cuddling this morning bruh" you pouted. "please please please will you come with me" *cue the puppy eyes*

"fine" he grunted. 

at the hospital he refuses to sit next to you, insisting that he stands def not bc he's concerned abt the germs on the seat

when you froze upon seeing the needle, he put one of his big hands on your shoulder

"you can hold my hand," 

"really?"

"don't make me take it back"

"okie"

you put your other hand on top of his, your arm draping across your body

his fingers intertwined around yours and clasped it when you winced at the pain

he'll draw you a bath when you get home and wash your body for you!!

so sweet and loving 10/10 experience

akaashi

you were currently hiding under a desk

specifically, the doctor's desk

"my love. it's no use if you hide, we're already here," akaashi sighed

he spent the last 2 hours dragging you to the nearest clinic for a flu shot

"you need to protect yourself so you don't get hurt," he had explained calmly

only for you, his sassy s/o to retort

"so why are you dragging me to a clinic just so i can get punctured by a needle? isn't that like, pain? which im supposed to protect myself from?"

someone help this poor bby boy

but somehow he had managed to lure you into the clinic

"alright. this is the last level i have to conquer. and then everything should be fine again" he thought to himself.

just the shot. just a lil pinch. right?

w r o n g

you were hysterical and sobbing

frankly, he felt really bad. but this had to happen at some point, right? after all, your fear of needles had started since you were a child. he was bound to have experienced something like this, as your dutiful boyfriend

he actually felt really bad

so he turned to the method that has worked for him time and time again to sooth his anxiety

"here, play with my fingers, it'll distract you" he reached out his hand to you and helped you out from under the desk

it worked!!

when the nurse came back, he rubbed the back of your hand,  a silent "im here for you"

definitely lots of comfort and cuddles afterward!

"see, that wasn't so bad, was it?"

shibayama

the syringe was right in front of you and the nurse was currently disinfecting your arm with the alcohol wipe.

when he saw you tense up at the touch, he'll whisper lots of reassuring words into your ears 

"hey. you got this, i promise! it'll just be a little sting, and the pain is only temporary."

when he saw tears welling up in your eyes, he'll swipe them away with his thumb, caressing your cheeks.

"make me proud," 

how could you say no to his puppy eyes?? 

"i'll try, yuuki," you sniffled

he put his hand on your shoulder, gently drumming his fingers to the tune of your favorite song to help distract you

his other hand rubbing your palm

after everything's done, he'll give the bandaid little kisses!! 

awwww he's trying to kiss ur pain away my sweet baby

he wants you to know that even through pain, he'll be there by your side.

will take you out for ice cream pt.3

tags!!: @aka-a-shii (anna thank you for getting me into writing i hope i did akaashi justice), @toshisgarden (ily big sis mwah) @gigis-galaxy(bc ILY GIGI)