#i'm told this is an autism thing which is so great

[doueverwonder]

I have a hard time getting rid of shoes because they've been through so much with me it makes me feel bad just tossing them. kinda like how I said i feel bad keeping coins because they've been so many places and I'm just stopping them from going more places.

[libraford]

Was talking with a friend about autism representation in the media and how we wish that there was more than just 'savant type' representation. And that it's getting better, but we could also be improving.

And I thought back to the conversation I had with my boss earlier, about how officially the statistic is that 1% of people have autism but it's likely much higher because that's based on diagnosis and there are a LOT of people who are not diagnosed-for a variety of reasons.

He asked me about symptoms because his exposure to autism was things like nonverbiality, lack of motor control, tantrums. I told him about the 'sundae bar' model- where it's not a scale of severity so much as a family of symptoms that often appear together in different intensities. Explained some of the symptoms- love of routine, strong moral code, not great at social cues, talks too much when on their favorite subject, etc. And he said that this describes a lot of people that we work with.

This guy has previously used autism as an insult, so I think he's rethinking his behavior and I'm glad we had the conversation. I was actually hinting that he might be autistic, but I don't think he's ready. (If you get him talking about trees, you'll see it.)

Anyways- back to the topic of media:

There are a lot more characters in media that appear autistic coded but it's not said outright. And after that conversation with my boss, I wonder how many 'coded' characters are not intentionally written this way, but the author is like: oh yes, this character is based off of a person I know- who is typically very quiet until you get them on a topic they like. Or this person- who always wants to make sure things are fair. Or this person- who gets burned out easily and has a new job every few months.

Which is why it's really easy to headcanon a lot of characters as autistic- it's possible the person they're based on IS autistic and the author only knows about autism in the context they've been shown.

Anyways, that's some thoughts I've had this week.

[illdowhatiwantthanks]

Hiya,

Do you think maybe you could write a Casey x Autistic!reader (not necessarily the same autistic reader from the previous ones) where casey snaps at reader after an interaction where reader thought everything was all fine and dandy, but things were in fact not fine and dandy (plus casey being under a lot of stress from work).

Ive had multiple social interactions where i get whiplashed because i thought i was doing all the right things and saying all the right things, but in fact wasn’t and getting scolded or teased (negative) about it…

-Ara

Hey, Ara! So glad to see a request from you! 💖 Every time you interact with any of my stuff, I'm like, "Oh, yay! Ara's here!" Ngl this one was hard to write. Mostly because I also have been in many social situations where I am trying so hard to do or say the right thing and end up messing things up for people I care about. There are a lot of things about being autistic that I've grown to enjoy and cherish, but this one... oof. This one's still hard. It's a little longer than my usual, but I hope it's what you're looking for! – illdowhatiwantthanks

They Go Low

Casey Novak x autistic!fem!reader Warnings: people being meanies, angst (resolved at the end though!), hurt/comfort-ish (?), explicit language (let me know if I've missed anything!) Word count: 3.2k

Summary: It's the annual New York County Lawyers Association gala, and you're going as Casey's date. You're terrified of messing something up, socially and, well, when the worst happens...

You exhaled heavily as you stood in front of the mirror, adjusting your tie and your pocket square. You looked good, objectively speaking. You’d gotten a haircut the day before. The suit was custom-made and fit you like a glove. And Casey had helped you put on “just a little makeup, babe.” But you weren’t worried about looking good at the New York County Lawyers Association Gala. You were worried about acting good.

Casey came up behind you and wrapped her arms around your waist. She looked so pretty it took your breath away. Full evening gown, in a deep, forest green, with a halter top, which you loved because it allowed the dress to contrast against Casey’s hair. Rich and red and glorious and one of your favorite parts of her, even if she did get self-conscious about it sometimes.

“You look so beautiful, honey,” she said, planting a light kiss on your cheek, careful not to leave any lipstick.

“Not as beautiful as you,” you told her. You knew that parties like this should be fun. What you wanted was to be a perfect partner for Casey, to be someone worth showing off at an event like this. Casey already felt like an outsider at a lot of these events because she wasn’t New York law royalty like some of the others. She didn’t come from money. She’d worked to get where she was. Hard.

You’d come a long way in accepting autism as part of yourself, even come a long way in loving yourself for it, thanks in no small part to Casey. But small talk? With strangers? It wasn’t your strong suit. You wanted so badly to make Casey proud, but you always felt like you were subpar. Like there were whole levels of conversation going on above you. You could tell they were there. You knew you were missing things, but you couldn’t tell what you were missing.

You let out another shaky breath, fidgeting, trying hard to keep your fingers quiet at your side as you stimmed, practicing for when you’d be at the gala.

“Hey,” Casey said, turning you around to look at her. You avoided her eyes, but she bent her head a bit so you had to meet them. She ruffled your hair a bit, playing with the waves, with the fluff of it at the top of your head. “You okay?”

You shrugged. “Just nervous.”

“You…” she started, straightening your suit jacket and helping you with your cufflinks. Your heart swelled; you hadn’t even asked–she just knew. “...are charming and funny and sweet. You’re so smart. You’re a great listener. You’re good with people, even if you don’t think you are.”

You nodded, drying your sweaty palms on your suit pants.

“You’re gonna be fine, honey. Alex will be there. So will Liz and Rita. If you get nervous and you can’t find me, or I’m having to talk with other people, you can always find them. They know you and they like you.”

“Okay,” you conceded, voice shaky.

In the taxi, you played with Casey’s fingers–a nervous tick that she indulged. You liked the feeling of a fresh coat of nail polish on her nails, liked to press on it, but you were careful not to press too hard and ruin it tonight.

“I like this color,” you told her, brushing the pads of your fingers along her wine-red nails.

“Me too,” she agreed. “You don’t think it looks too much like Christmas? With the dress?”

You surveyed her quickly and shook her head. “No. It looks nice. You look nice.”

Your leg started to bounce as you got closer to the venue.

“Casey, what will I even talk about? The weather!? The Bill of Rights!?” You were starting to panic a bit, even as you tried to shut it off–it was Casey’s night. You did not want her having to take care of you during the NYCLA gala.

“Well, let’s make a list, yeah?” Casey said, taking your hands and flattening them between hers to relieve the tension you held there. “You can ask about where they’re from and talk about where you’re from. That’s always a classic.”

You nodded, determined not to need help this evening.

“You could ask what type of law they practice.”

You furrowed your eyebrows. “Casey, I don’t know anything about law.”

She nudged you with her shoulder. “Sure you do! I talk about work all the time. Just talk about the lawyer-y stuff you know from me.”

“Okay.” You were talking more to yourself than her. “Okay, I can do that.”

Casey squeezed your hand as you exited the cab. You took a deep breath, offered her your arm, and walked in, determined to make Casey proud.

And for the most part, you did alright. Casey introduced you around during the cocktail reception, and you figured out what to say. Your go-to was making people laugh. If you could just find an anecdote, just latch onto a story that resonated with these people, then everything became easier. Then it was just a routine, like giving a rehearsed speech instead of improvising every conversation.

You ate dinner, spoke cordially, if quietly, with the other people at yours and Casey’s table, and laughed in all the right spots at the program. You’d even managed to keep your stimming to a minimum.

But now the night was winding down. Groups of lawyers were scattered about the room. When you returned from the restroom, Casey seemed in deep conversation with a few other people, and you didn’t want to interrupt, so you went to stand by the bar, nursing your last cocktail of the night and trying desperately not to look awkward or out-of-place.

A tall man, imposing, but with a friendly face, approached the bar, ordered a dirty martini, and stood nearby. He nodded at you, and you nodded back.

“I haven’t seen you around before,” he said.

“Yeah, I don’t attend a whole lot of lawyer events,” you replied, taking a quick sip.

The man laughed. That had been one of your best lines of the night.

He introduced himself, extending his hand. “Trevor Langan.”

“Y/N Y/L/N.” You shook his hand, flashbacks of practicing a “firm handshake” with your dad in the back of your mind.

“So what brings you to the NYCLA gala, if you’re not a lawyer?”

“Oh, um, do you know Casey Novak? She’s in the Manhattan DA’s office?”

Langan’s eyes lit up. “Oh, sure! Casey and I go way back.”

You smiled, glad to have something to talk about, something you could talk about forever–Casey. “She’s my girlfriend.”

“Ah,” Langan said, tipping his drink toward you, as if in a toast. “Lucky woman.”

“Her or me?”

He burst out laughing and you tried to laugh along, too, even though it had been a genuine question.

“Good one.” He took a sip of his martini. “In all seriousness, though, Casey knows her stuff. She doesn’t crack. Hard to believe she’s human sometimes.”

Oh, now you could hit your stride. Casey as a person. You loved getting to show off Casey’s soft side.

“She’s great at her job,” you agreed. “Not that I know a ton about being a lawyer, but… she struggles, too, you know? Some of the SVU cases can be really emotionally difficult. Like, I know she’s working on one right now that’s really taking a toll.”

He raised his eyebrows. “Oh, really? What’s the case?”

“There’s this serial rapist,” you explained. “Apparently, they’ve been trying to nail him for years. They had DNA evidence linking him to one of the rapes, but I guess the judge threw it out recently? Not really sure why… But Casey says there’s not a whole lot else to go on, so she’s been working really hard with SVU to dig up more evidence.”

“Huh,” Langan said, nodding toward Casey as she made her toward you both. “Sounds like it might be a lost cause.”

You shook your head, leaning into Casey as she placed her hand on the small of your back. “Nothing’s a lost cause with Casey. Right, honey? I was telling Trevor about that case you’re working on.”

Casey seemed to grow stiff beside you. “The serial rape case?” she asked, and you had to look at her face to confirm what you were hearing. She looked… angry? Scared? You couldn’t quite tell, but it was some flavor of upset. Maybe she was still worried about the case…

“Yeah,” you confirmed, hoping to lift her spirits with a little optimism. “You know, about how hard it is right now because the judge threw out the DNA, but that you’ve got it because you always do.”

She gripped your hand tightly, so tightly it almost hurt, and glared at Langan. “That’s fucking low, Langan. Even for you.”

“Just business, Casey,” he said, holding up his hands in defense.

You felt so deeply confused. Something had gone terribly awry in this conversation. Maybe Casey and Trevor Langan weren’t friends after all?

“You’re an asshole,” she spat at him. “She doesn’t know any better.”

Okay, so they were talking about you. Your mind raced back through the conversation, trying to figure out if you’d said something wrong.

“Yeah, honestly, Novak, I wouldn’t have put you two together,” Langan observed. “I don’t know that she’s quite in your league. You know, mentally.”

You blushed furiously. You got the jab on that one, or at least the implications of it. That you didn’t deserve Casey. Which might be true, but it still hurt for someone else, someone who barely knew you, to see it and say it.

For her part, Casey looked like she might clock Langan with a strong right hook. “Well, she’s way out of yours.”

And with that, Casey pulled you away, out into the brisk, New York spring night. You tried to catch her eye as she hailed a taxi, but she wouldn’t look at you. You were growing increasingly anxious. You’d fucked up somehow. You knew it. You could tell. And you must have fucked up badly or Casey wouldn’t be this mad.

She was quiet on the way home, fuming. And she didn’t hold your hand. She always held your hand. Your stims got more anxious, more obvious, along the ride. You wanted to ask her what was wrong. Wanted her to tell you what it was you’d done to mess everything up, but you were afraid to ask in front of the taxi driver.

You opened your mouth to ask as soon as the door to the apartment shut behind you, but Casey was faster. She was angry. Her face was red. And she was nearly crying. Casey never cried.

“Why the fuck would you tell Langan about that case, Y/N?!” she yelled, furiously kicking her heels off.

You felt your heart drop, panic run up your spine like ice. “I– I was just trying to talk about lawyer stuff.”

“Not that stuff! Case details!? Babe… this is just common sense!”

Your heart felt like it was being suffocated. Your voice was shaky and weak. “H-he said he knew you, that you went way back.”

Casey laughed and pressed her hands to her face. “Oh, yeah. We sure do. Way back.”

You were trying so hard to get what she was saying, but your brain wouldn’t quite make the connection. “I… I don’t understand, Casey.”

A tear streaked down her cheek. “Of course you don’t understand!” she railed. “You never understand!” She sat down heavily, rubbing her forehead. “He’s the fucking rapist’s defense attorney, Y/N! And now he knows we’ve got nothing!”

You felt like you’d been slapped in the face. In fact, you almost would have preferred Casey actually slap you in the face. Tears filled your eyes, and you knew you were about to lose it. Casey had been mad at you before, but not like this. And you knew you didn’t understand a lot of things. You didn’t catch social nuance. It went right over your head. But to hear it from Casey… Casey who usually made you feel like there was nothing wrong with you. You’d ruined something. You’d ruined something important tonight. You felt guilty, but more than that you felt ashamed.

Your hands twitched by your side, and your breath came in huge, desperate gulps, and you knew you were on the verge of breaking down. And that last thing you wanted tonight was for your breakdown to be another fucking thing that Casey had to deal with. Another thing for her to fix. You’d already given her enough to fix tonight.

“Be right back,” you said, because it seemed like something normal to say, and you didn’t want to just exit. You walked quickly to the bathroom and shut the door behind you, locking it.

You sat on the floor and curled yourself as tightly as you could into the corner where the wall and the shower met, pulling your feet to your chest. Suddenly, everything felt very tight, too tight, and you yanked off your tie and your suit jacket, unbuttoning your collar because you could barely fucking breathe right now. You held your head in your hands and rocked back and forth, trying and failing to regulate your breathing. You kept hearing Casey’s and Langan’s words in your head, as if they were on a constant loop, replaying in your mind’s eye: She doesn’t know any better. She’s not quite in your league. You don’t understand, you never understand!

You knew you were crying, but it wasn’t something you were in control of, just hot tears streaming down your face, just your heart beating so rapidly you didn’t know how to tell it to slow down. You’d fucked up. You’d fucked up so bad that you’d hurt Casey. Maybe you’d fucked up so bad that Casey wouldn’t even want to be with you anymore, and who could blame her? You didn’t even really want to be with you. Stupid, stupid, stupid…

You heard a soft knock on the door, but couldn’t bring yourself to acknowledge it, let alone open it.

“Y/N…” Casey called, voice muffled through the door and through your heartbeat pounding in your ears. “Will you open the door, honey?”

You couldn’t respond, didn’t want to respond, felt worse for Casey having to worry about you now. As if you hadn’t already given her enough to worry about tonight.

And your rocking back and forth, your absolute spiral, stopped only when you heard Casey’s voice crack, when you thought she might be crying. And your instinct to take care of her took over your instinct to wallow in self-loathing.

“Please, baby,” she begged. “I’m so sorry. Just let me in.”

You scrambled quickly to the door and unlocked it, then scrambled back to your corner, huddling protectively, your body literally shaking. You were scared, you realized. You didn’t like being scared of Casey. If anything, Casey should be scared of you, and how’d you’d mess things up for her. You buried your face in your hands as you heard the door creak open. You didn’t want to meet her eyes, terrified of what might be in them.

You heard Casey approach you, could feel the shift in the air around you as she sat down next to you, the rustle of her dress as she adjusted it.

You were so anxious that you were gripping tufts of your hair. You weren’t going to pull it out, but it gave you something to grab, at least.

“Y/N, honey, can you look at me?” she asked, and you could tell from how thick her voice was that she’d been crying.

You shook your head, still rocking back and forth.

She exhaled deeply, then continued. “Baby, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean what I said. You do understand, okay? You understand me. You understand when it matters. You didn’t do anything wrong tonight. It was a dick move by Langan.”

You still couldn’t bring yourself to look at Casey. You were suspicious of her. Casey always made sure you were okay. You could see her lying to you to try to make you feel better. You felt her brush a bit of hair out of your face and jerked away.

“Look, if anything, it’s my fault,” she continued. “I should have been clearer about what lawyer things to talk about or not.”

Now, this you couldn’t abide by. Casey making it her fault? No. You lifted your face, blotched red with tear stains and looked at her, and the way her makeup ran–clearly she’d been crying–it broke your heart.

“You shouldn’t have to fucking explain!” you cried. “That’s not fair to you, Case! I should just know, and I don’t because I’m fucking dumb!”

“Hey,” she said, her voice sharp as she grasped your face in both hands. “You are not dumb. You’re one of the smartest people I know.”

“Stop lying to me!” you pleaded, more tears dripping down your face.

“Look at me,” Casey said, her voice rough with emotion as she held your face even tighter. “There’s nothing wrong with you. You know what is wrong? That you have to act a certain way for all those people tonight to like you. That’s dumb.”

You tried to look away, but she only gripped you harder. Her voice broke and you wanted to cry even more, cry with her and for her.

“Honey, you are so smart,” she continued between gulps of breath. “And so kind. And you have such a special way of making people feel like they can be themselves. You know you make me feel more loved than anyone ever has? You remember everything about me, everything I say. And you listen and you notice things and you… you make me feel like I’m who I’m supposed to be.”

Your sobs had quieted a little, until you were just shaking now, hiccuping with the aftermath. “You are, Casey,” you choked out. “You’re perfect.”

“See that?” she said, smiling a little and wiping your face with her hands. “You are twice the person Trevor Langan is. You build people up, you don’t bring them down.”

You let Casey slide next to you, let her wrap her arm around you and rest her chin on the top of your head.

“I’m still so sorry,” you mumbled. “I fucked up your whole case.”

She sighed and chuckled. “Honestly, it was already fucked. And Langan would have found out sooner or later.”

You let out a shaky sigh and settled into Casey, your head tucked under her neck, ear pressed to her chest so you could hear her heartbeat drawing you back down from your spiral.”

She breathed evenly, running her hands gently through the short hairs at the back of your head.

After a few minutes, Casey kissed the top of your head and pressed her hand to the side of your face, holding you close to her chest. “I love you, you know that?”

You nodded, snaking your arms around her waist and burying your face in her neck. “I love you, too.”

[qwertzze]

I don't know what I'm doing,,

Design notes under cut

Four design notes because you know I love those;

Lesser than sign (<) on his tail, I've been using it in other sketches, but it often just looks like a whimsical devil tail. Four makes a lot of issues around being lesser in value than others (in comparison to other algebraliens,) so I started adding it in the same vein as the plus (+) I give Two

As to who would have the (>), I think Ten would. I'm not sure how I'll incorporate it into his design, but I'll try. Why Ten would have this, he values himself! And he's seen as better than the others, overall a great guy.

I also realize I have a bit of an association with hosts and giving them math symbols. (Four - BFB, Two - TPOT, Ten - BFPTM10 by proxy)

Notes on other things now!

Sonas - Someone told me that if I was an object, I would be a cardboard box, and it was the first answer other than "quartz," so I took it. Clipboard is my own personal idea, I've been using it as my main objectsona. Might make a 360 ref for it bc I have an idea for how the limbs and face work

Penny & Dime! I'm trying to flesh them out more, so I've been exaggerating Dime's emotions. Also, they get hobbies now! Penny gets to sing, and Dime gets fun times w trains. Stereotypical autism thing, I know, but how he interacts with trains is working mechanics genuine trains

Ships... I like Gooring, and there isn't a lot of content for it, so Gooring bite/hug was made. Nickel and Clover may or may not be a ship. Honestly, I just wanted to draw Clover

Cameo of Gigi reading off cardboard manufacturing details! If you get that reference, lovely!!

ASAOP stuff! Several ideas I haven't sketched out before, and bee-haw

Caddy used to have Beans, as well as limbs. RIP

Got the CC design down better, which is always good, AND I get to talk about the idea of Gigi getting a bite taken out! I think Gigi can naturally regenerate gum over time, but it takes longer than the kill/recover trick.

Swiss FINALLY gets use of tools other than knife! I think switching out different tools just changes mood, which is partially inspired by Pitcher OSO(?). Swiss gets dizzy and overstimulated with too many tools out, AND she has more limbs tucked in there.

Gum x S.A.K. because I LOVE SHIPPING !!! I LIVE AND BREATHE SHIPPING !!!!!

[aroaceleovaldez]

random question but i came across a post of yours where you talked about how mark oshiro sort of erased an aspect of nico's ADHD by making a joke about how he only liked mythomagic cards because he's gay and there are hot guys on the cards, and then TSATS also seemed to really downplay the themes of neurodivergence in the series. and it made me wonder if you have any thoughts on how the show has portrayed the demigods' ADHD and dyslexia so far? i've seen some people say that the show also downplayed it a lot, and i'm inclined to agree... which feels really weird considering that rick's own son's neurodivergence was specifically a major inspiration for him writing the series. but if i recall correctly a lot of scenes showcasing that in the first book were taken out of the show.

Oh absolutely, a lot of scenes and general discussion about adhd/dyslexia were removed in the show (and some of the disability-coding in general - i appreciate the change they made with making Chiron disabled based on his mythos rather than just using a wheelchair as a disguise, but i wish they had kept Grover's crutches in a similar manner honestly) - I've made a couple of posts discussing it: here, here, and this reblog is relevant to my opinions about the matter. There's probably some other stuff in my pjo tv crit tag.

I think the main sentiment i have regarding it - which i've seen a couple of other people mention as well - is how much the show ignores or outright removes and downplays Percy's personal struggles with his disabilities to instead emphasize Sally's experiences instead, particularly in manners of her taking out her stress on Percy - which alongside being completely antithetical to Sally's role in the books, is pretty ableist and why I continually compare show!Sally to Autism Speaks Parents. Autism Speaks tends to make an emphasis on the struggles of the parents of autistic children rather than treating autistic individuals like a person experiencing their own struggles. One of the major points of Sally's character (and later Paul) in the books is that she's an incredibly accommodating parent and works hard to make sure Percy is supported when he's struggling with his disabilities, because he's not been able to find that accommodation elsewhere. That's part of why Sally is such a great mom in particular, and is intentionally supposed to directly contrast Annabeth's home life struggles with her parents having difficulty navigating how to provide that same level of accommodation to help support her (and how Annabeth finds that accommodation at CHB instead, because that's the metaphor that CHB is supposed to represent - an appropriately accommodating system they can rely on, and then exploring how that's still a flawed system and looking at how disabled kids/demigods fall through the cracks and how to change the system to better support them).

The show also almost completely ignores Percy's ADHD/dyslexia experiences in general after the first episode. I was honestly really happy with, in the first episode, how clearly Percy's poor experiences in the American education system, particularly relating to his neurodivergence, have informed his reaction to situations such as people trying to tell him he's a demigod in coded language. It was essentially the perfect update to something i've discussed in the past here, about how the original "all demigods have adhd/dyslexia because it's secretly SUPERPOWERS" thing was presented as the basis for the series and why that teaching/parenting style fell out of favor. We see Percy in e1 acknowledge how dismissive of his struggles it is to constantly just be told he's "special" - and we even get explicit acknowledgement of how that description is used aggressively and for ostracization (from Nancy), which is extremely true to the experiences of kids who grew up with that teaching/parenting structure. But then we get to episode 2 and... all the acknowledgement of ADHD/dyslexia/etc is gone. We get at most a one-off acknowledgement from Luke that demigods are all neurodivergent and that's it. Pretty much nothing else for the entire rest of the season, save for flashback scenes that only emphasize Sally's experiences, not acknowledge Percy's. No further acknowledgement of Percy's dyslexia, or Annabeth's, or anything about their ADHD, or even Percy's completely removed PTSD (which we know for sure because of both writer commentary [see: that second post i linked about the LA Times article] and Percy's total lack of reaction to Mr. D). Nothing.

It was extremely disheartening to say the least, having such a strong start and it evaporating completely, and I fully agree with you.

[cy-cyborg]

I assume this is an autism thing, but why is it so hard for people to understand pain is not the biggest problem for me when medical issues come up, sensation and sensory overwhelm is.

Possibly tmi but im at the point where i dont really care anymore lol, right now I'm dealing with a really bad, chronic uti that just will not go away, no matter what anyone does, and this thing has been making my life a living hell for the last month or so. It's not painful, or well, it is, but that's not the most unpleasant effect I need help with. It's the sensations it brings. The tactile sensation of being incontinent, of feeling like I'm busting 24/7 - so much so it's stopping me from being able to sleep most nights - the fact that both these things are so ever-present that I can't concentrate on anything else. I can't do the things I enjoy like writing and drawing because my brain can not filter it out enough to focus, and it's my body, so I can't escape it like I could with an unpleasant sound or smell.

But everyone I've spoken to about it is under the impression that the pain is what needs managing, the pain is whats causing me to be so upset and not be able to concentrate or sleep, even when i say, point-blank, thats not the case. My doctor, the emergency staff who first diagnosed it (i was instructed to go there due to concerns about my kidneys), my mum and dad, my sister, even my partner, initially, though he understands now. But I've told every single one of these people that it's not pain, it's the sensory overload thats causing the problems, and they just... don't get it. Ive tried being as blunt as I can (and considering i have no energy to mask, ive been very blunt), and it just, doesn't seem to compute with anyone. My doctor is trying to help, but his only solution is pain meds until the antibiotics runs their course, which don't help because it's not pain (and yes, i tried it anyway). The emergency doctors did the same. My mum and dad keep suggesting pain management skills they were taught when I was a kid, mum is also suggesting things that make things like the burning part of UTIs less painful, my sister doesn't really have any advice but she keeps asking me about my pain too when she checks in. I appreciate the attempts and all

But it's not pain.

The only one who did get it right away was my psychologist, but she's not the kind of doctor that can really help with this, outside of giving me suggestions for coping mechanisms and how to redirect stimming/meltdowns to be less destructive or harmful. Which is great and I did need that, but I'd really like to not be having the meltdowns in the first place.

This isn't the first time this has been an issue either, but it has been the worst/longest time. I just don't know how to get it across to people that the pain is not my main problem. I know how to manage pain and make it less intense/more bearable (my whole lower body is covered in skin grafts and I've had several amputations, I have a lot of experience with it), but just because it's not pain doesn't mean its not debilitating and seriously impacting my quality of life. And because it just won't go away (i highly suspect it has become antibiotic resistant), I have no idea when this will all end, which makes it all the more worse.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Am I the asshole for not noticing I hurt my friend's feelings?

I (24F) had a somewhat close friend (24F) whom I've known since highschool but only got closer to recently. I've had a friend crush on her forever and apparently she did too. We share a lot of interests and we're both neurodivergent (I'm diagnosed with adhd, and we're almost certain she has autism). We also sort of bonded over a shared trauma -- basically we got two-timed several years ago by a really abusive asshole.

Anyway something happened a couple of months ago and I feel our friendship has gone downhill since then. It was multiple occasions really: what would happen is that I would say something impulsively, and she would misinterpret it and get sensitive about it, we talk it out, I apologize, and we move on. But one time it was a bit too much that i burst into tears while texting her because I felt I really hurt her and I felt that all my friendships will go downhill because whenever I get comfortable with someone I just completely lose my filter and end up hurting them. What happened that day was that we were hanging out and a guy apparently told her something sexist but I didn't hear him. She came to me to complain and I sort of brushed it off because from the way she said it happened it just seemed he was vaguely pointing out something but I later understood that I was just wrong. Then her dress had a tiny hole which I pointed out to her in front of my boyfriend rather impulsively and she got really upset about that. Later on I was telling her about a book I'd read that had great autism representation that didn't have the character just be -- and here I did the dinosaur arms thing (no offense whatsoever to people who do that; I know full well it's a common thing, I was just saying the character had more to him than just that). The problem is that she didn't hear the part where I was talking about a book character because we were changing tables in a crowded cafe and I was just talking non-stop because that's what I do and she thought I just did the dinosaur arms out of nowhere and got offended but didn't say so except over text later and just looked unwell for the rest of the next half hour before she suddenly excused herself and left. That day she texted me about all of these things and we talked it out and I pretended that I was not literally having a meltdown all while apologizing (but not before I tried to plead my case a bit). This all happened on the same day, but before that there were other occasions too. One time she would be talking about something, then I change the subject, then she'd say I know you didn't mean to but I wanted you to give a reply to what I just said. Another time we had a particularly bad exam which I did okay on, but she was telling about how she botched it. I couldn't tell from her face how serious it was and I gave her what i thought was a sympathetic smile (which she later told me was a weird smile) because I really didn't know what to say and then turned away to look for my boyfriend to check on him as well. She told me that day that she felt that I brushed her off when she was having a difficult time and didn't console her enough.

It's just multiple things that made me feel that I need to be more on guard around her for her sake. She moved to another city recently and even before that we were texting less and less. I even asked her if she was upset about the cafe day and she said no since I apologized and we talked it out, but I could feel something in our relationship changed. It just felt like such a shame because I felt a great connection between us and I have massive difficulties when it comes to making friends. She was sort of my last friend that I felt close to aside from my boyfriend, and now I can't help thinking that the problem has always been me.

Sorry if the post was too long and sorry for the sob story lol

[nczaversnick]

Writblr/Artblr/Bookblr Intro

Hi! This blog is a lot of things I know but it’s fun I promise

Anyway

I'm N.C. Zaversnick, which lets be real is a pen name.

If you're wondering how I came up with it it's a combination of my and my writing partner's name.

Anyway I'm the one y'all will be interacting with so this will focus mostly on me. You can, however, follow Rachelle on Instagram @panda.panduh.

I'm 22, disabled and queer as hell. I also have ADHD and autism. I use he/they pronouns and I've been writing and drawing since I was 8. I also read a great deal, mostly fantasy though I started reading more dystopians when I started seriously working on Project Gemini.

My favorite book is The False Prince by Jennifer A. Nielsen.

I'm currently reading The Toll by Neal Shuesterman

I'm currently playing Wizard101 (Y’all I’m so done with Wallaru)

I'm currently watching Scrubs

To join my tag lists, click here and comment which list(s) yoou want to be added to

COMISSION INFORMATION

WIPs

First off: Project Gemini

Project Gemini is the name for my book series that I do intend to publish some day. We're still working on book one but currently we're planning four books total for this series.

This is a link to the Master Post, where you will find more links to specific Project Gemini information

In a very general sense, this is a YA dystopian series with queer characters of an appropriate age (about mid 20s)

I can only describe it as what you'd get if you crossed X-men with Avatar. Some members of humanity evolved to have fire/water/earth/air powers. So naturally the government oppressed them. This leads to the creation of a rebel group determined to fight for their rights or overthrow the government whichever comes first. The story follows Caspian, a water elemental guy, and his experience when he meets this group and joins their cause.

Fandomverse

So this is why I don't have 5 bajillion WIPs. I take literally every idea I've ever had and mush them all together into this story. Anything I can't fit becomes an AU using OCs from this universe.

This one is a two year long text chain between me and a friend from middle school. It is a mix of original characters and world building and whatever random fandom shit we want.

It came to be while I was deep in my Doctor Who phase and I created my very own Time Lord/The Doctor. (Canonically speaking, he is the Doctor and the TV show Doctor Who still exists but everything in the TV show is based on stories my time lord told some BBC writers while drunk). My friend had a good deal of her own universe by then and so we just mushed the two together.

The basics are what would happen if a Time Lord and a couple of reapers fell in love and had many paranormal adventures but also were parents trying to raise their kids to be knowledgeable in both the human world and the paranormal world.

For the most part, this is the universe for most of the art I share, nnot so much for writing

AUs for Fandomverse

I will eventually put links here but for now it's just a list

Arc of a Scythe

Percy Jackson

Harry Potter

[serial-unaliver]

[I am not American idk anything about your gifted program] However, it is true that giftedness is a type of "distorted development" (sorry if this isn't politically correct, this is a direct translation since English isn't my native language). It is a neurodivergency because it means that while one area of development is ahead of their years, the others are lagging behind (especially social development). But this is referring to things like musical/artistic/creative giftedness, or sport giftedness, or getting into university at 12 y/o, etc. I'm not sure how all your schools are having "gifted classes" since it is a pretty rare phenomenon.

so I know what you're talking about, it's something that can occur in autism, but the gifted program in the US is not geared towards any neurodivergence and has a racist history.

that being said, I don't think every single person talking about "gifted kid burnout" was actually in a gifted program, it's kind of branched out online to refer to someone who used to be successful academically and then 'burnt out' which can occur for a variety of reasons.

i'm autistic tested as "above average intelligence" but absolutely FAILED at school, like I was such a sped kid when I was little the school couldn't even help me in the sped program and told my parents to homeschool me (they didn't, just moved me around to different schools that also didn't want to deal with me). i'm great at any task involving organizing, but approaching some other things it's like I have the capability of a 5 year old just learning...

programs aside I think the entire idea of intelligence, IQ, and giftedness is kind of nonsense, and the elitist attitude some people have with it especially in relation to autism is ridiculous as "giftedness" in autism is accompanied by deficits in other areas of functioning that make a school environment hard to succeed in.

anyway overall I think it's important to for people to 1. know how these things actually work and 2. know the history of the "gifted" program in the US because it's not something that exists for good reasons.

[crimeronan]

Bruh, what would happen if Hunter were to show up and find Luz without any memories of him? If Amity, Lilith, or Raine, or any functional adult are with him and Belos didn’t remove them, then Luz wouldn’t think she’s really gone crazy.

i'm imagining that things in this timeline progress the same way they do normally, which means that after luz has been living with camila for a couple months, hunter knocks at the door. and when camila opens it, he very politely very non-anxiously very normally asks to speak with luz.

in the OG timeline, luz hears his voice and immediately has a Full Meltdown and comes running over to tackle him. in This One, i think luz would hear his voice and immediately get a splitting headache. and she's like. i should know that voice.... i think.... or should i.....?

you know when you recognize an actor in something but you can't quite place their face?? it's like that. but significantly more intense and confusing

luz goes to see who's at the door and peers over camila's shoulder autism creature style. hunter calls her name and tries to push past camila to get to her. luz flinches back with surprise. camila goes NOPE. ABSOLUTELY NOT. I'VE HAD ENOUGH REPORTERS WHO CAN'T MIND THEIR BUSINESS HERE FOR A LIFETIME. OUT.

and kicks hunter out. and threatens to call the cops when he won't leave the porch.

hunter goes back to the demon realm like "hiiiii amity and/or raine and/or darius. the humans did something nefarious to luz. pls come halp."

PROBABLY amity is the one he'd bring, since she's the least involved in running the empire. which is unfortunate for them because amity is Absolutely not equipped for this. great for me, though!!

so hunter comes back to the house with amity. and THIS time when luz sees them, her face Lights Up. and she's like "oh!! amity!! hi!! :DDD" like. she's just So Fucking Relieved to have someone here that she 100% recognizes in a way that does NOT give her a headache. nothing fuzzy or confusing about amity!! maybe she can help luz sort out which of her memories are real!!

and then she turns to hunter and is like "you should have just TOLD me you know amity!! i would have let you in before!!"

and he's like.

hello.

What.

[ominous-feychild]

Guys I literally JUST realized a thing about my autism/masking/alexithymia. I noticed there was an alexithymia tag here on tumblr and when I investigated, there was this one post listing these symptoms:

and I just--

I've had these exact, MAJOR struggles through my whole life for one.

But for two, and what's really interesting in my opinion...

Yesterday, I was having a video call with my mom. I've been off of some medications that I'm supposed to be taking because of financial issues, so my mental is NOT in a great place and I've had NO spoons for the past month. But while on call with her, she seriously, unironically, asked me if I thought I really needed the meds. Because, apparently, I "wasn't acting like I needed them" or something like that. And I'm sure I don't need to explain why that pissed me tf off.

But, like... at the time, the closest thing I could come up with for an answer was that "I have no spoons and no energy to do anything"; "I lived 17 years without meds, I kind-of know how to fake it"; and "I haven't had much socializing lately, so I have enough Social Energy™ to fake being okay right now."

Now that I'm not being put on the spot and after reading that post, I'm slowly figuring out that I've always done this. I mean, I've obviously always struggled to describe my own emotions and need to analyze my physical reactions to figure them out, but like. I'm just now starting to realize that I've really struggled to describe exactly how I'm "feeling bad" or, in fact, that I am feeling bad at all.

I mean, again, considering the alexithymia, that last part is a given. But it's kinda putting into perspective exactly how I've always had to understand "I don't have the energy to do anything" or "it's incredibly difficult to do anything" or "something deep inside of me feels Wrong™ and I can neither address nor identify it". I'd just passively have those "feelings" and struggle to continue life despite them.

It brings back thoughts of my struggles with masking, and how I was never diagnosed with autism as a child. Looking back, it should've been incredibly obvious. I had SO many of the tell-tale signs. But I guess it wasn't today, and there wasn't anywhere near as much awareness of what those signs were... but really. Textbook.

I'm sure my masking made it more difficult to recognize the signs as I got older. Hell, I even read over different "autism diagnosis checklist"s countless times, thinking to myself "oh wow it's a lot like me!... exceeeeeptttt--" and moved on from there.

I keep digressing. My point is, since discovering my autism and how it was hidden by masking, I've always wondered where my mask ends and where I begin. Most of the time, I feel like I feel nothing, even when I'm not depressed. I've been told I don't show my emotions, like when I'm happy (aka my chest is light and I feel free). That, or people can't tell when I like/dislike them (though that's partially a trauma thing). Other times, I've been told I'm smiling when I didn't even realize I was happy, much less that I was actually smiling. Some people have told me I'm incredibly easy to read, that my emotions show very clearly. But how can they when I feel like I feel nothing?

Which leads me back to what I said earlier, my conversation with my mother. How she asked if I actually need my meds because "I don't seem like I do". I guess I kind-of understand now, why she might've seen it that way. Do most people always show signs of how they actually feel? And how does the fact that I "don't feel" effect what I show?

I've wondered about that for a while. How much of how I act is because I was trained to, one way or another? How much of the emotion I show is because I learned to? Do I even show the emotions I feel? I really can't know because the people I know irl, who would better be able to tell me how I act, aren't understanding of any of these things. My older sister is lowkey ableist and thinks she sees the grand plan of the universe, my mother is too "pull yourself up by the bootstraps!!!" to accept Spoon Theory or mental health struggles, and just about everyone else in my life comes and goes as quickly as the wind.

Anyhow, this was a long rant that I've kinda had half-formed thoughts about for a while. Thanks for reading, hopefully this can help or entertain whoever stumbles upon this?

[libraford]

I am giving the kitchen a good solid clean today and remembering bitterly the time that one of the roommates poked her head into our shared office and said, clearly on behalf of her partner:

"I've got a great idea! What about we all deep clean the house today?"

Roommate had trauma about other people cleaning around her because it made her feel like she was being called dirty, and often cleaned in a way that was sending that message to us. As in- loudly sighing when she saw dirty dishes (mostly hers) or becoming cagey when a pan was left on the stovetop after use, or if there was something not pristine about the kitchen. And she was always ranting that we didn't do enough to keep the house clean and that she was always doing all the work. (Well. You see. I worked a 40 hour week and still had to come home and make dinner enough for 6, so you might see why I might not have it in me to clean after being on my feet all day- and she was unemployed.)

And I also have trauma about being told that I'm not clean enough- my mom used to refer to my room as 'the pigsty.' Which isn't fair to someone who is young and dealing with a lot of mental stress, but none of us were clear on ADHD/autism diagnoses.

Now that they're gone, I'm having to re-learn how to clean without someone over my shoulder during the process.

I decided on Tuesday that since I'm off today that today would be the day that I work on the kitchen a little, and I'm finding it easier to pick a corner and work my way out instead of trying to focus on the whole mess. Yes, that means its not sparkling clean and sometimes the mess creeps up again before the whole place is clean. But it does mean that the grime doesn't build up so much.

Last night I gave the dishwasher components a good soak and washed the thing out. Right now, I'm disinfecting the spot where our kitchen compost bin sits. Later today, I do the stove top. Tomorrow I do my workspace.

Which I think was my problem. Everyone has always looked at the whole mess of me instead of the parts that I work on. People aren't whole pictures. They're parts in cycles.

[olderthannetfic]

Re: not wanting birth defects = ableism

Yes, there are assholes who don't want to have a kid with any issue, but there are a lot of people who are trying to avoid birth defects because they're simply against kids suffering. My partner and I both have a high chance of having a child with a very specific birth defect due to being carriers of the gene to cause it. We have decided to foster and adopt instead. That's not because we're ableist or hate people with disabilities. It's because if you do something you know can lower your child's quality of life, you've fucked up as a parent, and bringing a kid into the world who's likely to die by the time they're 10, as would be the case if my partner and I had a kid? That's fucking up as a parent. That's condemning a child to a decade of pain and dying before they can realize their dreams just because we, the parents, wanted to have someone related to us biologically so badly we decided risking that person's life was completely acceptable in the process.

I would never tell anyone else to have/not have kids or to have/not have biological kids. That decision is extremely personal and complex. However, the statement anon made that not wanting your child to have birth defects is ableist has a major flaw in it, which is that birth defect is a term that ranges wildly in its' implications. Yes, it is shitty to be, say, one of those Autism Speaks supporters who's terrified of having an autistic child and hopes that one day we can prevent autistic people from being born, to name an example I've met in real life. No, it is not shitty to not want your child to be in constant pain and likely not live to see double digits, to use another real life example.

When using umbrella terms like birth defect, there's going to be a lot of nuances in the answers because the umbrella covers so much. I'm sure anon was thinking of people who have actual ableism towards disabled children and was uncomfortable with that. A friend of mine was once told, "It's too bad you couldn't have known [daughter's name] would be deaf before you gave birth, or you could've just had an abortion and had a normal baby. Maybe your next one will be normal." It's why she doesn't speak to her mother-in-law anymore. Anon has probably met that kind of jackass and was horrified to see what they thought were other people thinking along those lines.

However, I've been lurking around this blog for over a year now, and happily I don't think any of us who interact with OTNF (or OTNF personally) have any thoughts like that about disabled people. We're fine with autistic and deaf people being born and a bunch of other disabilities, too. We're not fine with things that destroy quality of life to the point of cutting it short or in some cases causing the baby to die shortly after birth.

Good on anon for being anti-ableism. Wish I saw more of that in the world. I just think the scope of the umbrella term 'birth defect' was lost on them.

--

There are some things, like Tay–Sachs, that we just never want to see again, and if genetic counseling or IVF could weed those genes out of the population entirely without preventing carriers from having kids, that would be great. It's a broad range, as you say.

[do-you-know-this-adhd-character]

Do you know this (noncanon) ADHD character?

SPECIFICALLY THE VERSION FROM DUCKTALES (2017)

Evidence below the cut!

There were two submissions for this one!

Submission 1: honestly i'm surprised dewey hasn't been submitted yet bc he's like. "classic adhd personality type". he's hyperactive, impulsive, easily distracted, and HATES being bored. the official character bio describes him as "quick to throw himself into dangerous situations without thinking" and in the pilot episode gets distracted mid-conversation ("stop! scrooge was trying to keep me out of trouble, but i was so caught up in- why is there a lamp on the floor?") what REALLY sealed the deal for this headcanon, however, was the rsd he displays, bc this kid desperately wants to be loved by everyone and is absolutely crushed when that doesn't happen. his dream world is a high school musical-type high school where he's the mascot and star (nightmare on killmotor street); he had a panic attack because he tried playing a heel in a wrestling match and the crowd kept booing him (rumble for ragnarok); and in one episode started crying bc he thought he disappointed his mom (raiders of the doomsday vault). (speaking of his mom, there's loosely enough evidence to point to her being adhd too, and you know what they say about it running in families.)

Submission 2:

i could go on for AGESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS about dewey and the adhd headcanon. i am going to write a bunch of stuff, but it probably won't turn out very well (i write worse when i'm passionate about something lmao) why i see him as adhd: he has EXTREME rejection sensetivity dysphoria, which to me is most apparent in the money tree and boxing episodes (which i have inconveniently forgotten the names of). he requires attention and love to feel fulfilled, and will go to great lengths to be praised. he hates failure and the idea of being a dissapointment, so he goes to great lengths to prove his worth. he tends to be stupidly stubborn, not backing out of something even if it would put him in serious danger. he's also very impulsive -- jumps into dangerous situations without thinking about the consequence, all that matters is that it's exciting! he's SUPER energetic, and a small detail i noticed is that he doesn't seem to fall asleep easily? he's very chatty, there's an entire episode where he gets involved in a gang of sky pirates because he really, really wanted to talk about a hat he found. a lot of his decisions are irrational or generally just based on strong emotions?? he's definetly more of a thinker than a feeler. ("stop assuming i know things, ok? baseline, assume i know NOTHING!") he exaggerates his emotions or the severity of situations a lot. very easily distracted (or at least pays attention to the wrong thing? like, when they're offered to test out godhood, when they're told they're going to do "god auditions", dewey seems to miss out the "god" part and just does a dance routine (his reaction to realising he messed up is too funny to me, and his dance was actually really good imo) he's constantly breaking into song, uses his name as a pun almost constantly, and has a catchphrase he uses regularly. it's his 'character trait' (i'm not entirely sure how this relates to adhd but like. it makes sense to me) WAY too curious for his own good. generally just really hyperactive? goofs off when it's not really appropriate. i feel like there has been moments where he's been shown stimming before. (ik huey has for sure i'm not totally certain about dewey tho) also he's voiced by BEN SCHWARTZ. that guy seems to want to voice adhd-hi characters that are represented with the colour blue. ICONIC anyways that's all for my silly rambling. dewey and huey are the ultimate adhd autism solidarity duo btw

[liam-an-siorc]

My essay on my Fanny button might be autistic

Note: I have been thinking about this so much and now want to share it because I 1) seen others say the same thing 2) seen that the bbc ghosts fans won’t get mad over headcanons about autism and have a lot of them so that’s cool I will say now

Why Fanny button might be autistic 

In this essay I will tell you why I think Fanny button from ghosts is autistic and I think she’s a high masking autistic. It won't be a great essay but hopefully will get my point across. I researched high masking in women for this because that’s a specific thing and I really think it’s her I think it really explains a lot of her because Fanny can sometimes be misunderstood by other characters In the show and people who watch the show and there is a reason for this, fanny puts up such a character sort of like she acts so intense all the time and then it’s hard for people to really see past this but what I think happened to make her like this was that when she married George she started masking a lot more because we see in the Christmas special “he came” she was very different before she is very talented at math autistic people can be very talented in something and love it a lot a special interest perhaps* but she was told she can’t do this it’s for men now when I’m thinking about this I’m thinking a lot of this was impacted by the time she was in and being a woman in this time which is why I researched autism in women specifically masking is alot more common in AFAB people because of society alot so it can still apply here it’s just worth noteing the context and differences in society speaking of the time she was in an how society was then okay a common thing alot of autistic people say or feel is “its like everyone was given a book on how to be human at birth and mine was lost” that didn't attuly happen but that's just what if feels like and this is mainly referring to socialy but fanny did attuly get this book there where rules told to everyone then about how to act how to communicate and act around people how your ment to seem etc so when she married George and he did not love her she thought “I need to follow there rules better if I follow them completely he will love me” and she did she learnt these rules and followed them masking. What makes alot of people who may think Fanny is autistic think this is how hard she finds it to accept change now I have looked at the criteria for getting an autism diagnosis and she dose fit it the only thing is that traits had to have been there since you where a child and we can't know that because we never see her as a child for the sake of this we will assume she did so this here is the first part which is social.

A. Need to have persistent deficits in social communication and social interaction across multiple contexts, as manifested by the following, currently or by history

Deficits in social-emotional reciprocity, ranging, for example, from abnormal social approach and failure of normal back-and-forth conversation; to reduced sharing of interests, emotions, or affect; to failure to initiate or respond to social interactions

Deficits in nonverbal communicative behaviors used for social interaction, ranging, for example, from poorly integrated verbal and nonverbal communication; to abnormalities in eye contact and body language or deficits in understanding and use of gestures; to a total lack of facial expressions and nonverbal communication.

Deficits in developing, maintaining, and understanding relationships, ranging, for example, from difficulties adjusting behavior to suit various social contexts; to difficulties in sharing imaginative play or in making friends; to absence of interest in peers.

So to fit the first part of the autism criteria you need to have or have had persistent struggles I'm each of those areas as it says above so I will go through them now 

On this one I want to go back to thing thing about “it feels like everyone was giving a book at birth on how to be human and mine got lost” referring to social interactions but Fanny did literally have this book there where rules for social interactions and if you followed them then your doing good which is why I think she used these rules to mask but even if someone who is autistic is following all these rules sometimes and I dont actually know how i just heard that people who aren't autistic can still just tell that there is something different there is no way we can see this unfortunately because we only have bits of her life but we know she did have friends who she would mainly talk gossip with but moving on to her death which we have of course much more to go off she dose say very out of pocket things one example which I think alot of people think she was purposely trying to insult Alison but I think she was not really trying to do that she was saying amd making a point of how Alison seemed and that she was not lady like and following the rules whatever but i don't think Fanny saw an attualy problem with what she was saying and this is the “when you first arrived here I though you where a prostitute” she doesn’t really see how this could upset or offende someone she just speaking her mind with no filter she dose not have a filter even when following the rules she was given she still says things which she didn't realise she could not or would not be appropriate so I still think yes to this she dose communication in a strange way with the other characters she can be quite blunt and rude not knowing she is being because it fits within her rules that she knows. Another thing worth noting here is that fanny is closest with the captain who is also quite obviously autistic I think*2 and neurodivergent*3 people tend to become friends with eachother like that.

The main thing I can think of for this is In fanny's body language she always has the same pose same face on she dose notice others body language because she does give out to Alison from doing things not like a lady but again that is most likely learnt she learnt this is how a lady is meant to have her body language and she learnt exactly what to do and look out for when they did the panto for Alison she could not do a different character for fairy God mother and evil step mother the tone the body language was exactly the same despite them being obviously very different characters.

Fanny shows little interest in forming friendships with her fellow ghost, Martha Howe Douglas even says on the podcast that she doesn't like any of them I don't think this Is fully true but it is worth noting also note that many things said on that podcast where also not fully correct I think so it is to be taken with a grain of salt, Fanny definition of friends is “peers and intellectual equals” but a better definition is “a person with whom one has a bond of mutual affection” so she dose not understand friendships fully, I also think she tends to misinterpret others relationships for example when you read the book you can see how obvious George's affair with the butler and gardner was she also panicked a lot when she was briefly attracted to Mike she made it alot more dramatic than it really was it took her a while to catch on to the fact that she was being just as bad as Betty in the final and she did not notice the captain being gay either most of the ghosts noticed this. She again dose not fully know when she's being rude I don't think she doesn’t know what is and isn't appropriate to say to Alison and the other ghosts, she also viewed Alison as her own daughter which I did notice that but some people did not it was not the most clear on account of how rude she was to Alison so alot of people did not notice she dose not know why this matters and maybe thinks she's being A lot more obvious as a mother then she really is. Said before but diffrent context when they where doing the panto she could not do a difference between he fairy God mother and evil step mother very different character.

As well as that you also need to have three of the four traits I will put next 

B. Restricted, repetitive patterns of behavior, interests, or activities, as manifested by at least two of the following, currently or by history 

Stereotyped or repetitive motor movements, use of objects, or speech (e.g., simple motor stereotypes, lining up toys or flipping objects, echolalia, idiosyncratic phrases).

Insistence on sameness, inflexible adherence to routines, or ritualized patterns of verbal or nonverbal behavior (e.g., extreme distress at small changes, difficulties with transitions, rigid thinking patterns, greeting rituals, need to take same route or eat same food every day).

Highly restricted, fixated interests that are abnormal in intensity or focus (e.g., strong attachment to or preoccupation with unusual objects, excessively circumscribed or perseverative interests).

Hyper- or hyporeactivity to sensory input or unusual interest in sensory aspects of the environment (e.g. apparent indifference to pain/temperature, adverse response to specific sounds or textures, excessive smelling or touching of objects, visual fascination with lights or movement).

I will now go through if and when I think she shows these behaviors

So a lot of the ghosts do things like this more obvious ones would be the Captain, Mary and Robin I am being honest I don't notice these as much in Fanny but let's go through it, one of the main things people notice is in the captain and all the noises he makes mary pat and fanny do this also (+Robin echolalia) Mary more than Pat but Fanny does this also!! Listen to her there's a video somewhere on YouTube titled the sound of fanny or something she does the same sort of stimming noises that they do another thing this is a bit of overthinking perhaps but the way fanny stand her posture the way she holds herself if you look at it she does almost the same one all the time and it's like she holds her own hands and has then on front of her and she sort of moves around the hands now if you copy this posture and you hold your hands tight and you sort of move around the hands it's like hers so I think she's holding her hands tight she's trying to keep still but still moving around that suppressing stims??? Maybe I think so she also if you look close at her hands her thumb moves every so often and sort of very small strokes her hands this could be the stim that got out of her trying to suppress it if you look at her and if you look at the captain in that scene where havers gives him the letter about France surrendering and he runs to the window he is quite obviously If you watch it then you watch him as a ghost, suppressing stims the feel of that scene is very similar to the feel of fanny's scenes. Also when she was combing robins hair could also be a stim thing feeling textures can be a stim.

 This is why people usually if they do think Fanny is autistic think it, she can not handle change like at all it can not affect her ons bit and she can't deal with it she get really stressed and really annoyed about it she can not handle it, she does come around to change eventually for example the land being sold she gets very upset about it then she goes off she calms down she talks about it to Thomas and then she is okay she has a big reaction is very upset by it and then she regulates and eventually accepts it. I also think her insisting Alison follows all her rules to be a lady could be part of this. It is common in autism to care a lot about rules and get stressed if they are not followed but not everyone is like this. I definitely think that's part of this as well as other things. When mary got sucked off she panicked alot she first did not process it which delayed processing can also be a thing with autism I do think she shows this sometimes for example when Alison got pushed it took her a bit and then she got mad but that was also her thinking alot and being lost in thought, she doesn't really process it until Mary's moving on starts bringing up change in her life and now she realize something is missing this is going to be different and her friend is gone she has no idea what to do with herself after realizing this she just panics.

Fanny most definitely has fixations I think one of them was murder she wrote which she was very fixated on for a while so much that she brang it into her own life (death) if it weren't for that they would not have known about Lucy I do this also I try bring whatever I'm currently fixated on into every aspect of my life every project I do I learn new things because of it it really makes its way into your life, I also with Dante Dante the stuffed dog I'm not sure is that an object because it was a dog but now is it still a dog or an object dog or and object/dog? But yes, saying you love a stuffed dog more than anything In the world I think is an unusually strong attachment to a thing. Another note is that she is very good with animals. She had a lot and I think I heard that that is common with autistic people but I'm not sure.

Now this one is a bit harder because she is dead but I said before but combing robins hair sensory seeking feeling textures she very much did not like it when she had to go I'm the basement because she did not like the plague ghosts or the environment for sensory reasons could be both this one is more hard because they don't feel everything In death so I do not know.

So Fanny Button dose fit the autism criteria the best I can try prove that I am not a doctor I just really love ghosts and i think this explains a lot about her character 

In conclusion I believe fanny button is autistic I believe she fits the criteria for autism and I think she is specifically a high masking autistic I think without that detail it doesn't make sense but I love this theory because it makes her make sense and it helps you to think about her character better.

Goodbye 

Notes 2

*the maths thing was never mentioned after that though but you can have multiple special interests so I could be that and something else like maybe all her ladylike rules or her pets gossip don't know

*2 I also think mary is autistic specifically they all have traits lots of them and I'd say I could do this for most of them but it is worth noting, noting that's all we can completely ignore it after this but in TV shows the characters they are people but they are different then people so it's much easier to see autistic traits and traits of anything like for example personality disorders that maybe if they were a real person it would not be the same but that's it I love all the theory's regarding this and they all fit and make sense 

*3 yeah they are all neurodivergent probably also I think Fanny and the captain are very similar and show a lot of there autistic traits in the same way or similar 

hopefully all this information is correct thank you for reading if you have anything to add I would love to hear it

[wenevergotusedtoegypt]

Being a parent is so hard in ways you can never predict beforehand (because every kid is so different).

5yo is still not fully potty trained. He has a para to assist with toileting at school but we have been told he will not be allowed to advance to the next grade there if he's still not potty trained by next year, which first of all, wtf, you're holding back a child who is academically completely up to scratch because of a physical issue that he has an accommodation for?? and we don't want him to stay at this school anyway, I never wanted him there in the first place, but it was the only place we were able to get in this year. I feel like we JUST got him in here and it's already time to start trying to get another school to accept him for next year. I feel like I shouldn't have to convince a school to take my awesome and smart and funny and kind kid. The school that happily takes the kids with autism and ADHD and dyslexia and other learning challenges and works with their needs told me for this year that they simply would not know what to do with a child in a diaper because they have never had a child in a diaper. They also didn't feel he was mature enough yet for their youngest class but the diaper was the really insurmountable issue. It doesn't matter that he's great and sweet and well-behaved and loves school. The diaper.

I paid $100 to speak to a (recommended by someone I trust) potty training consultant last week and now 5yo has been home from school this entire week and I'm so introvert-burned-out and I feel like we have accomplished exactly nothing. He is back in underwear (after his morah last year requested he switch back to pull-ups because it was too much for them to deal with the dirty underwear) and he's consistently peeing in the potty without issue, but we already knew he was capable of that, he's been capable of that for a year and a half, he just usually chose not to when he knew he was wearing a pull-up because why bother. I've worked so hard to implement the consultant's recommendations for a low-pressure, positive plan to get him pooping on the potty, and I've checked back in with her by email repeatedly, I've documented everything that happens for her review painstakingly in my "free" time after the kids are in bed. But we're on day 4 out of 5 and he has "pooped on the potty" a whole whopping once, which honestly barely counted because he didn't even try to push it out, he just sat there and a little came out. I spent $50+ on 20+ prizes and he has only earned one and he told me that it's the "funnest ever" so he doesn't feel like earning more by pooping on the potty again. He doesn't care about pooping in his underwear. He doesn't care about sitting in poop or being smelly. He doesn't feel like earning more prizes no matter how much I hype them up (he doesn't know what they are, per the consultant's program). So he has no motivation to use the potty.

He also does have some fecal incontinence due to hypotonia (which he sometimes feels and sometimes doesn't) but that wouldn't matter that much if he actually wanted to be potty trained. If he were motivated we would focus on teaching him to wipe himself and he would just handle it and hopefully wouldn't need his para by next year and no one at school would even need to know anything.

I don't know how to get him to care. He's stubborn. He knows what he wants and what he doesn't want and he stands his ground. Giving him a haircut used to be a miserable full-day affair full of bribes and crying and whining. One day he just decided he was fine with it and now it's easy. We didn't actually do anything. Going to the dentist used to be an absolutely nightmare, he once bit my husband hard enough to draw blood. But one day he just decided he was fine with it and now it's easy. We didn't do anything to make it happen. Doctors appointments suddenly got easier, too. I know he can figure this one out too but I don't know how to get him there, not when every other thing has come from within for him and never been budged from without.

And I just feel completely lost and stuck. I want to give up but I can't because I have to convince a school to take him for next year. I want to give up but even his BFF is asking why he's still wearing pull-ups in that innocent-but-still-cruel way little kids have, and there are kids out there who are ready to be a lot less kind about something like this than his loudly curious BFF. I want to give up but when you're a parent you can't give up even when you feel like you've tried everything and spoken to everyone and no one quite seems to get it and no one seems to be going through quite the same thing and you have no idea what else to do.