#i'm still intimidated by you a little because TALENT | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

yestrday · 7 months ago

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: ̗̀➛ ALL OR NOTHING. yan! aventurine / gn! reader

it's a nice feeling to finally be on the winning side, feigning fairness when all the winning cards are in his hand. but it's not like you can fault him for cheating. after all, you who has nothing chose to challenge him, the one who will gain everything.

( overarching theme of sl4very, anim4l cruelty, anim4l death, bl00d, graphic description of violence, hinted obsessive behavior, im unoriginal and stole kafkas spirit whisper for reader ) + 7.5k words

"It's just a bet," he suggests, as if this gamble won't cost you your everything. "Juuust a bet. Exactly what are you so scared of?"

He sits laid back in his plush velvet chair, twirling a cocktail as he enjoys the finest luxuries in life. He is clad head to toe in the finest clothing, dressed like a peacock waiting to impress. You, on the other hand, feel more like the peahen— dreadfully drab in your rags and no choice but to watch as the peacock flaunts his feathers. You are knelt on the ground, but your eyes show no submission.

"I'm not crazy, gambler," you bite. "I know the IPC. They are full of shit. And you, Aventurine." Your eyes set on him with hatred. "You're the smelliest of the lot."

Aventurine, the gem of lies and luck, sighs dramatically. "Pup, you know I don't like it when you're so vulgar, y'know? I'm giving you a chance at freedom, so you ought to at least treat me at least a little bit nicer. I'm not the one who shackled you, so I don't understand what the aggression is all about."

"You're the reason why I'm here in the first place!"

"No, Jade was." He presses a finger to your lip and you'd bite it if it weren't for the annoying bind you were under. "Jade came across you and thought you and your talent would make for a nice gift. You were a gift and I'm just the receiver. So don't go barking up the wrong tree, pup."

"So." He leans back into his couch and shoots you a sly grin. "Up for round one?"

You are lost.

The meaning of Paths and their symbolisms are lost on you. You don't care for Aeons— no one on your home planet was. You were busy diving in dumpsters for a scrape of food, tricking your 'friends' into sacrificing themselves for you, and killing whatever was left of your humanity just to make it to another day. You walk on no Path but yours.

You don't even know which way you're going. So you are lost.

You think Aventurine is lost too.

He has every detail of his facade practiced. His gait is relaxed enough to not be intimidating, but not sloppy enough to be called out as bad posture. He talks in a smooth voice that eases fools and makes enemies wary, his smile is charming to sway the opponent into another gamble, his hair is fixed to frame his pretty face, and he chooses words that cannot be turned into loopholes. He is Aventurine. But he is not himself.

He does not care for the Preservation, but he rejects the Elation. He is on his own Path too, but he knows the destination he must reach— his 'End'. In that way, he is different from you, because you know not your journey or your ending. Still, he is just as lost as you.

But he makes a darn good show of not seeming that way. Right now, you watch as he throws the dice on the table, and the whole table watches with bated breath as they turn. A six and one— he lost the bet to the other's six and five. They cackle gleefully as they collect their earnings from Aventurine. They have chips upon chips on their side of the table while Aventurine's winnings are cut in half.

"I think I'll call it a day, pretty boy," the gambler cackles, greedily eyeing his earnings and possibly dreaming about the cash he's made tonight. "Even a gambler knows when to call quits, right?"

Aventurine pouts. "Aww, so soon? C'mon, the night's only begun! Who knows, play another round and you might just end up with more money than you have right now~"

The man laughs again, obviously not fooled by his pity act. "Boy, I'm not as addicted as you are. I know when to stop instead of letting you bleed me out dry." But Aventurine isn't fazed; rather, he snaps his fingers and you lower your head as you step to his side.

"Well, we can't have that, can we? [Y. Name], be a dear and persuade this gentleman into another round with me."

A glow of your eyes. Then you fix the man with an eerie gaze as you say, bright and clear, "Hey, you: Play another round with my master."

As if in a daze, the man's eyes cloud over and sit right back. Another round later Aventurine wins all his losses back and more, leaving the other gambler's side naked and bare of chips. The man is barely out of his stupor when he realizes what just happened— that he's fallen for a trick and now he's ended up with no money to even cover his lodgings— but you and Aventurine have sauntered out of the casino doors by the time he's begun cussing you out.

"Ha! That was fun." Aventurine shrugs off his jacket now that you're in the car and raises an empty champagne glass to you. "You're a good partner, [Y. Name]. Honestly, that Spirit Whisper of yours is such a nice trick. Just like that Stellaron Hunter, right?"

"... Kafka?"

"Yes, her. Enigmatic woman, isn't she? A bit ironic how those with such a powerful ability ended up as slaves. Her as Destiny's, and you as... mine." He gives your collar a little tug and you growl in warning, but you inch closer to him anyway. "So. Gambling. You up for that round?"

You scoff and grin at him with all teeth and no mirth. "You really think that a Cornerstone would bet on their slave's freedom?" Aventurine's own grin grows wider. "C'mon. Even Pteruges-V has better lies than you."

"Ah, right, your homeworld. No wonder you're so brazen all the time, even to your superiors. I forget that fear is a foreign concept to you people. Still," he raises your chin with a finger. "If you're so fearless, why not bet on a gamble? It's not like you're scared."

"There may be fools from my planet that you can trick with that taunt, peacock, but I'm not one of them. I'm fearless, not stupid. And with the way you're so eager to involve me in this bet, I'm beginning to suspect that you need this more than I do." You push him away. "So, no, master, I won't indulge you. I'll bide my time and look for an escape. Just like I've always had."

"And what?" He looks at you from behind his sunglasses. "Will you kill me to gain that freedom?"

You flash him a sharp grin, now amused. "Of course you'd think that, master."

The smile on his face is wiped clean. You really are a brazen thing, you.

Jade has always mentioned how soft Aventurine is on you. A dog of your attitude should merit a little more disciplinary action and even the good Doctor has told him this once or twice after seeing your arrogance despite the collar around your neck. "Your dog bites more than it deserves," Ratio scoffed while you made an action of biting him behind Aventurine. He frowned in displeasure. "You ought to make it learn a lesson or two."

"Now, now, doctor," Aventurine had laughed. "Not everyone shares the same sadistic tendencies as you." An image of you collared and shaking on your knees flashes through his mind, and he finds himself gulping. Ratio looks at him like he doesn't believe him.

It's not like he hasn't thought of it, of chaining you to the wall and starving you so that you learn that your attitude has its consequences. You shouldn't bite the hand that feeds you, not when he's been so good to you. But that... that was exactly the line of thought his old master had. That wicked man who put a brand on him and sullied his hands with his wretched man... he couldn't risk turning into a monster like... that.

Aventurine is weak. Unable to let go of past sentiments and memories, he makes it up with his grand display of bravado and high-stakes gambles. He gambles even as he spoils you, laughing at your audacity and even rewarding you for it sometimes, not knowing whether you'll leave him or if you'll stay with him. It is a gamble indeed, but you were worth every risk.

"What do you think of me, [Y. Name]?" The cityscape beyond the window is glowing with Pier Point's nightlife, and his suite provides him a good view of the world beneath him. He glances back at you, stirring his coffee for him. "Your dear master Aventurine. What do you think of me?"

"Annoying, stupid, a fool, an addict, and pathetic." You don't hesitate to badmouth your master. "You lie too well, you think that luck of yours will never run out, and you try to be someone that you can't."

"And who is that someone?"

Your eyes flash. "Someone strong. Someone confident. Someone who isn't afraid to admit his weaknesses and hope that things get better."

"I didn't peg you for an optimist, dear pet."

"Hmph. That's not optimism. I may not know what exactly fear is, but I know that what is holding you back isn't it. You do not fear things, gambler. You stake it all and bet on something so intangible as luck. That can't be fear."

"Then what is it?"

The stare you give him sets his heart off, looking straight into his eyes and giving a grin so devilish and knowing like that facade of his never mattered in the first place.

"You're a coward. A plain, old coward. Nothing more, nothing less."

That conversation had always popped up in his head in the most inconvenient of moments, especially when he was about to get some sleep. His heart beat faster every time he recalled that knowing gaze of yours, invading where he didn't want the world to see and baring his soul right before your very eyes. His facade doesn't work on you.

He could care less. You were the one person he didn't want it to work on, though he'd never admit that out loud.

This meeting with the other Ten Cornerstones could not interest him any less, and it seemed to be that way for the others too. Jade is saying something on behalf of Diamond, again, and everyone is busy doing their own thing. Only Topaz seems to be the one paying at least some attention, and even then she gets distracted by Numby from time to time. Aventurine glances at the clock.

He wonders how his pup is faring while he's away. Ecstatic, perhaps.

"— All evidence leads to an underground network that is scattered among numerous planets, though thankfully all of them are within the same galaxy. I'll be forwarding an email to you all with a detailed report on each of these. Just know that most of us will be likely deported to these countries to break up the—" In the middle of Jade's tiresome monologue, the security alarms start to blare and two officers slam through the doors with looks of urgency. One of them scans the room until his eyes land on Aventurine, and they quickly approach him.

"Sir!" They say, desperate and alarmed. "Your do— I mean, slave! They've– They've escaped!"

Surprise streaks across the faces of the Ten Cornerstones, even Aventurine's. He collects himself when he catches Jade's knowing smile and chuckles to himself.

"Well, I guess this is the master's consequence for not disciplining their pet."

Did he really think you were fucking stupid? Taking on a bet for your freedom... what a bunch of bullshit. He can proclaim about how much he loves a fair gamble, but you know that's only reserved for the people around the table. You are his slave, the one he demeaningly calls 'pet'— you don't have the chance to make your own dealings.

"Halt! In the name of Qlipoth, you better stop while we're giving you a chance." These IPC henchmen were slowpokes, the lot of them. You weave in and between salary workers, crashing trolleys full of wares and coffees and hopping between levels just to shake them off their tracks. By golly, they might be incompetent but Aeons damned they were nothing but persistent.

"Ha, the Devil Hunters were more annoying than them," you mutter to yourself, skidding around the corner only to come face-to-face with two IPC henchmen. They raise their polearms to strike, but with a chilling grin stretched across your face, you say: "Hey, you: Jump."

You don't look back to see whether they made the seven-floor drop.

This reminds you of the nights you spent back in Pteruges-V: making fools out of the prissy rich, jumping across buildings to shake of the Hunters, and using whatever you had to make things go your way. Not everyone had Spirit Whisper, but those who had made good use of it and you sure as hell wouldn't miss a single chance to use it.

Your mind runs with plans as you continue to run away. Maybe you'll find a nice ship to stow away on, hopefully, one that leads to a nice planet that isn't so stuffy and rigid. Maybe like Homberto-σ, out of sight from the IPC and where everyone minded their own business.

For what felt like forever trying to shake your followers off, you finally came to a stop when you realized that only the sound of your footsteps could be heard in this labyrinth of hallways and corridors. Finally having shaken them off, you sigh as you climb up the stairs to the rooftop. 'Just jump down and sneak off to the nearest hiding place you can find.' You tug at your collar and scowl. 'When I escape, not even this collar will matter anymore. Not when I'm somewhere they won't reach me.'

You've escaped so many life-or-death situations before. Escaping slavery is no different.

"Slave [Y.Name], subordinate of Cornerstone Aventurine, you are surrounded!" A voice blares through a megaphone the moment you step onto the roof deck. You hiss as multiple glaring lights settle on you, shielding your face from them and the helicopters' onslaught of wind. "Surrender now before we are forced to take extreme measures."

Through the gaps of your fingers, you can barely make out the men in black pointing their guns at your head, the red hot of the laser making you a point-blank target. You click your tongue. Those bastards tricked you into thinking you were safe. Fuck. You couldn't even be mad. This was all on you.

"Oh, little pup. I guess I really should have listened to them when they told me to discipline you." Aventurine's seedy voice sighs behind you, smirking as he nonchalantly strides up to you. "Did you really have to do all this instead of taking the bet? Do you really hate the thought of playing with me, hm?"

"Fuck off."

"No can do, little one, you know how much I'm obsessed with you, right?" He chuckles, catching your chin between his thumb and index and forcing you to look into his eyes. Those Sigonian eyes are covered by the cloudy purple of his glasses, but even you can tell just how much he's enjoying this mess you've put yourself in. "You know I don't have a need for your skill. I could easily persuade anyone without trying, but I still let you stick around. Pup, I can't just back away from you when you know how much I want you."

You smile darkly. "That's cuz you're a sicko who likes tugging on the chain instead of being in it."

Those pretty eyes of his darken for a moment, embittered by the snarky comment at his past, before his hands trail down to your collar, hooking it with a finger and pulling on it. "Dear, while I usually have the patience for your tirades, I'd rather not do it today. You've humiliated me enough in front of the entire Corporation. So—" Pulling once again on your collar, he starts to lead you to the door. "— Let us depart without much hassle, okay?"

Humiliation sears your nerves like a hot metal, a warning growl eliciting from your mouth as he continues to tug you away from the rooftop. Close, you were so fucking close. Here you are breathing in the fresh night wind, a jump away from freedom, but then these IPC idiots all had you fooled. You don't care how many bullets will embed themselves into your skin, all you just needed to do was get away from this grip Aventurine has on you.

You grab the wrist pulling on you, yanking him towards you. His eyes widen before narrowing again, as if not believing that you still had the energy to fight like you don't have red laser points on your forehead. "[Y. Na—"

"Hey, you: S—"

You couldn't even get another syllable out. Your collar beats a few pulses before it starts squeezing your neck, crushing your windpipes and forcing you down on your knees as you choke on your blood. It sears hot around your neck and you collapse writhing on the ground as you sob and gurgle on your screams and congealed blood.

'WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY ME—' You can only curse and scream inside your head as you painfully thrash on the cement. '— A BILLION BASTARDS IN THE WORLD AND IT HAD TO BE FUCKING ME.'

Darkness is pushing in on you and the pain is making it too hard to go on, but you've always been a fighter. Even if you think that your squirming is pathetic and futile to the onlookers, you continue to tug and pull on the collar like you have a chance. Your ears are ringing and your eyes are too fucking blurry to see with, but the fight doesn't die down.

Aventurine places a soft palm on your hair. Even through the tears stinging your eyes, you can barely make out the faint expression on his face. Damned fucking bastard, damned Signonian, hypocrite and the fucking devil—!

He even has the audacity to look sad for you, as the light slips away from your eyes.

The first round is simple. Play a round of poker with him.

Aventurine hums delightedly as he shuffles the cards with clean and practised movements, looking right at home at the dealer's table he has sitting in his suite. You blankly look at the cards, not even an inch of a reaction from your side. He chuckles as he deals your cards.

"C'mon, look alive, dear." It's almost like he genuinely wants you to cheer up. "Look, I even poured out alcohol for you. It's not everyday that you get to taste Pier Point's most exquisite wine!"

You continue to stare blankly. You haven't given up yet, of course not, but... you can barely bring yourself to move.

When Aventurine is done dealing all the cards, he leans back on his chair and studies his opponent, just like he always has in the past. If you were acting normally, this would have been an easy win. After all, you always wore your heart on your sleeve and abhorred being told to control your emotions. You acted the way you felt— you curse when you anger, you boast when you're feeling smug, and you press your lips together and blush as he praises you for another job well done.

But now. Well. Bandaids cover the seared marks on your neck as well as your head after you've slammed it against the pavement during your delirious fit on the rooftop. Your arms are littered with purples and blues, the aftermath of a disciplinary session that went on throughout the night. Despite the abuse that Aventurine has (rightfully, in his mind) dealt to you, he had made sure to tend to you afterwards.

Settling your head on his lap, combing through the strands as he placed an icepack on your bruises. He hummed you an old children's rhyme from his home planet as you lay limp across the couch. You could barely move, mind unable to process the pain and despair of having an inch of freedom being ripped away from you. He had wiped away the tear that would fall from your eyes.

You couldn't feel comforted at all.

"This will be the first round out of four. Today, we'll make this a bit simple. Five quick rounds of Indian poker. If you're confident that your card is higher than mine, you can bet as much as you like. Not confident? Fold, and that won't count as a round. Loser has the lower card." He raises his glasses to his hair and smiles at you. "Understood?"

"Understood," you grunt. "I'm not a fuckin' idiot."

Aventurine only smirks. It irritates you, but you don't have much fire in you to snap at him.

The room is silent save for the clinking of chips against each other. The two of you cast a chip to the middle of the table. You raise your card to your forehead.

You cast two more chips. Aventurine casts three. You stare at the printed picture on his card and throw in another chip. He throws in another five. You frown.

"Fold."

"Ah~ You should've been more confident in yourself!" Aventurine chuckles as he begins to shuffle the deck to deal another round. You scowl at the Ace of Clubs in your hand, mocking you at your relinquished defeat. "Is a little intimidation all that's needed to make you submit? You weren't this docile before."

"Shut the fuck up and let's play again." He decides to stifle his laugh for the sake of your nerves.

"Raise." Your win, six of hearts to three of spades.

"Raise." Your win, queen of spades to jack of hearts.

"Fold." Could've been Aventurine's, ace of spades to king of spades.

"Raise." Aventurine's win, eight of clubs to six of hearts.

"Fold." Could've been yours, queen of hearts to 10 of clubs.

"Raise." Aventurine's win, nine of clubs to seven of spades.

Aventurine's practiced hands thumb through the cards as he begins to rearrange them again. His glass wine is almost empty, while yours is untouched. The man knows that you don't drink, so why would he...?

"Last round before one of us wins," Aventurine's voice lilts as he throws you your card. "How about we make it exciting? No one is allowed to fold this round." You frown at him but don't say anything. You cast another chip to the table, and he follows suit.

He has a 10 of spades pressed to his forehead, and your fingers dig deep into your skin.

'Oh please, there's other cards higher than a 10.' You remind yourself, but you gulp down your dry throat as your vision zeroes into his card. 'Jack, Queen, King, Ace. Anything. Please.' Aventurine notices your hurried breathing and smiles knowingly. You gulp whatever cowardice is rising in your throat and throw another chip.

"Raise." Fuck it. If this is the last round, then let's just ball.

He cocks his head, finding the motion unnecessary in this last round. But he sighs with a smile and plays along, casting his chips into the fray, "Then I'll raise too."

"This is the last round," you say, more so to remind yourself.

"Yep." He leans forward on the table and the fluorescent lights cast a shadow over those alluring eyes. "Nervous?"

'How could you say that? How could you taunt me like that? When you were just like me?'

You strengthen your resolve and glare up at him, the fire lighting back up in those blank eyes. "I hope you go to hell."

You throw your card to the middle, with the rest of the chips.

Jack of Clubs.

Aventurine cocks his head at you, smiling as usual.

"Congratulations, pet."

One would expect that Pier Point was the peak embodiment of wealth and luxury, being the base of the Interastral Peace Corporation. But the brightly something shone the darker its shadows.

Aventurine just so happened to like those shadows, even shrugging off those fancy clothes of his just so that he could find solace in those sleazy bars and play rounds of poker with dead-eyed salarymen and recently fired hopefuls.

The surroundings didn't fare any better. Amongst the dying neon lights, Pier Point's worst neighborhoods featured a just as nasty environment. Drunkards lying beside dumpsters with shattered beer bottles around them, cats hissing at each other in a fight for survival, and abandoned children peeking at them around the corner as they lay in wait for an opening.

Aventurine has shedded his elaborate peacock coat in favor of a simple white button-down and slacks. Despite the simplicity, he still looked out of place amongst the rags, though it made people think of him as a fearless idiot rather than run away at the sight of the IPC's elite.

"Mmm, that robin is indeed very plump," the blonde idiot remarks out of nowhere. "Quite out of place for this kind of area."

You pay him very little attention, mindlessly kicking the broken half of a bottle with your heel. It bumps into a smelly bastard who shoots you an irritated look, but quickly cowers when you return it tenfold. "Maybe it's been feeding on the leftovers of you prissy IPC folk," you spat, taking a look at the fat robin for yourself.

He takes no notice of the slight towards his kind and instead cocks his head at the cat slinking around the corner. "Well. Its health has attracted a rather unwelcome predator." He turns to you, with a mischievous smile. "How about we make this round two? Who will die first, the cat or the robin?"

Seriously? You were betting your freedom on something as stupid as this? You consider the cat— snarling, insipid thing, balding and thin as a stick— then the robin, tweeting fearfully at its perch on the graffitied wall. "Am betting on the cat. Could eat the fat thing while you go on another gamble."

He laughs, sliding on his shades as he walks into the seedy bar. "Then I have no choice but to bet on the poor robin. Let's have some fun before we see the results of our bet."

The cat is lying on the ground, heaving its last few breaths. Its yellow eyes are barely peeking out from its eyelids, probably delirious and starving in its last moments. You poke it slightly with your foot.

It meows pitifully. You instantly feel bad.

It might just be the ugliest thing you've laid your eyes on, but even the ugliest creatures deserve some sort of companionship in their last moments. It hisses weakly when you draw your hand close, but it can't do anything but relent as you stroke its hairless head. It purrs a bit, ragged and breathy, but the heaving of its ribbed chest slows as it relaxes.

"Don't do that," you murmur. "Just... just be quiet. It's okay."

The quiet steps of leather shoes stop beside you, and Aventurine watches on in silence as you comfort the dying thing. His gaze moves from the cat to the robin, still perched on top of the wall with his fat little chest and beady eyes. It hasn't moved from its position at all, just... staring and staring.

"So—"

"I know," you murmur, focus still on the poor thing. "I know, okay?"

The fat robin chirps again, tittering with its mocking chirp, before it flies away into the sky.

Your cat closes its eyes shut, and its skinny chest finally slows to a stop.

Aventurine stays with you for a while as you find a nice spot of earth to bury it.

No matter how much you want to believe your preconceived image of the blonde gambler— irresponsible, materialistic, money-wasting— you can't just make up lies about him in your head when all of his missions end on a win for him. Right now, he's heading for another mission in a galaxy far away again. And like always, he's dragged you along whether you like it or not.

"Come on, you like sightseeing other planets!" He laughs on the space warp going there. "Makes your blood pumping, scouting out the possible planets you can run away to."

"If I can run away," you grumble, not wanting to acknowledge him as you stare out the window and into the starry expanse of galaxies and space. This sight has always unnerved you— a reminder of how small and insignificant you are. How small and insignificant this collar hand on your life.

"It's not like you to be such a downer," he huffs. He pats the empty seat beside him. "Come, come. Drink with me. Ah, but no alcohol though. Don't want you trying to bite my entourage as soon as we get off." He's referring to the time that you had two sips of the lightest alcohol the ship had in stock before you absolutely wasted and decided that running away to the next planet was a good idea.

You grunt but sit on the floor next to his feet. He doesn't dare to correct you but only regards you with amusement before handing you a glass of sparkling water. You've always had this weird insistence of maintaining your master-slave status quo, despite abhorring your status as a slave. You followed his commands to the tee no matter how dangerous but refused to budge whenever he insisted on treating you like an equal.

"Don't get me wrong," you had snapped at him angrily one time. "As long as I'm in this stupid collar, I am not your fucking equal. So don't go around treatin' me like one, got it?!"

"You got the briefing, right? I'll be dismantling an underground operation on our next planet, so I'll be making good use of your Spirit Whisper." You sip your drink and make no reaction. "I'm sure you have no complaints about that, right?"

"Like I have a fuckin' choice."

He laughs into his cocktail. "Right. How could I forget?" Your eyes narrow into slits when he threads his thin fingers through your hair, but you don't make any move to remove them. "Unfortunately, this isn't an operation that I can just charm and gamble my way through, so you'll be doing a lot of heavy lifting. But so long as I have you, my dearest pet, I'm sure we'll be done before we know it."

You fight the urge to give into his tender touch, massaging your scalp as he combs your strands, though your eyelids are drooping now. He chuckles fondly when you rest your chin on the sofa, right next to his thigh. Adorable, how easily you succumb to the smallest of physical affection.

"Just take a nap," he hums. "We'll be there before you know it."

Aventurine's lavish outfit is a stark contrast against the nitty and gritty environment of the gambling den the two of you are staking out right now. Some of the men leer at him when he passes by, their faces painted by sweat and malice, and the promiscuous women bat their eyes at him with painted-on sweet smiles. No one bats an eye at the collared servant trailing behind him.

You try not to wince as you accidentally make eye contact with another slave, them kneeling on the ground with only rags to cover them and you have the luxury to look away as you grip the sleeves of your ironed button-down. You decide to just fix your eyes on Aventurine's back for the rest of the journey.

The next room you enter— less room to be honest, and more... coliseum-y— features a fighting ring where the crowd cheers on two dogs circling each other under the fluorescent spotlights. The other one, bigger and scarred, is baring his teeth while bearing a deep red gash across his body. The smaller one is shivering but giving the same energy back, snarling in intimidation while also sporting a noticeable limp. Despite the darkness of the room, you don't miss the way Aventurine's face contorts into disgust as he looks at the fight and surveys the crowd of spectators.

"Disgusting," he murmurs. You don't say anything back, though you doubt he could hear you amidst all this cheering. You used to bet on dogs too, back in the day. It was quick and easy money, and you had better things to worry about than the fate of some mutt.

While you're focused on the pathetic dog show in front of you, he steps to your side and nudges you with his elbow. "Willing to bet?" He asks, eyes focused on the show. "As our third round."

"From the look on your face, I thought you hated this kind of thing."

"I do, but I'm not putting money in the pot like the rest of them. This is strictly between you and me with no money involved." He turns his gaze to you. "So, what about it?"

You study the dogs. They've been circling each other for a while now, and the crowd's been growing more and more agitated by the lack of fighting. You think of the dogs you've bet on before, how the smaller ones had just an equal chance of success at winning as the bigger ones. Unconsciously, you tug at your collar. It matches perfectly with the stupid dogs down below.

"Bet," you huff. "I'm taking the smaller one."

You don't know why. It'd make sense to just bet on the bigger and badder, but maybe it's that ferocity in his eyes even if it's overshadowed by the growling menace that has you feeling for it. It's stupid, you know, betting your freedom on a hunch and emotions. But...

If it could have a chance at winning... then why can't you?

...

... Are you destined to die, just like it?

... Are you destined to die as a slave for another IPC slave?

... Will your death be just as morbid and pathetic as the mongrel, his innards spilling onto the pavement while the winner is pulled away by the collar, with no prize but another day of freedom?

This is round three out of four. You've only won one so far.

The very next round could kill you. Could completely sign away your freedom.

Shit shit shit shit shit. Why'd you have to go feeling sorry for the stupid shit? Why'd you have to empathize with its futile fight? Why'd you have to go see yourself in it? Now you could very much share its fate, dying pathetically serving for people who never cared about you in the first place.

Shit shit shit shit shit. The pressure of the bet has always been at the back of your mind, niggling at your brain. But now you can feel its heavy weight squeezing around your heart, in perfect rhythm with the phantom choking of your collar. If you don't win the next, you could very much—

Something light touches your shoulder and you lurch back like you had been stricken there. It disgusts and scares you, sending both repulsion and fear through your body like maggots wriggling into your system.

With a faltering outstretched palm, Aventurine's eyes widen behind his glasses. He sees something on your face, enough to make him bite down whatever cocky shit he has to say, and turns his back towards you.

"Let's go," he says, just barely audible above the crowd. "We still have a mission to complete.

"This is some silly joke of yours, isn't it?" Aventurine maintains his cool facade, but even then there is disgust in his tone as he speaks to Jade. "Giving a slave to another... you must think this is hilarious."

"Amusing, maybe, but this little one is too precious to let loose in the wild." Jade strokes your head, and while you curse in warning, you don't move to attack. "A user of Spirit Whisper, a rarity even among those in Pteruges-V. Don't you think it'd be better if they served the Amber Lord rather than going back to their pretty crimes?"

"Then give them to someone else." Aventurine turns his back on you and Jade. "Since when did I need help closing a deal?"

"Well, I just thought that you were lonely."

"And you think gifting me a slave of all things would help me?"

"Oh, just give them a chance. I'm sure you'll like this one. Look." Jade raises your chin with a finger, lifting your bruised face to the light. You shoot her a glare, plotting murder in your head, but you don't try to fight back. You might have tried once, probably, and learned your lesson. "Don't you love the fire in their eyes, even after being collared and brutally beaten?"

It is sick. It is sick how Jade can just easily muse about your past abuse to his face. To him. It is sick how the IPC thinks that Aventurine would even be happy about this... gift, let alone accept it.

"I appreciate the... thought." Jade smiles at the barely held back distaste in his voice. "But I'd really rather not."

"Oh, I see..." Jade hums, tilting her head to scrutinize you. "But no one else will accept you since you're too feisty for their liking. So I guess..."

"We'll just have to kill you."

Your face pales. Aventurine has never been quick to turn around.

"Fine. I'll accept," he says with gritted teeth and narrowed eyes. "I'll accept your gift, so just..." He sighs, massaging his temples and waving Jade off. "Go away and let us be."

"Is this some sort of savior complex you have going on?" Despite being a slave, you haven't really learned how to hold that spiteful tongue of yours. Half of the fault lies with Aventurine, seeing how he's never bothered to scold you for it. He looks away from the reports in his hand and smiles at you.

"Oh, whatever do you mean, my dear pup?" Your bitter scowl is pushed down even further at his sweet tone and you scoff.

"I mean," you say, gesturing all around you. "You never scold me, you give me good food, you do all these nice things for me. You don't beat and lash at me like others do. Are you feeling sorry? As one slave to another?"

"Personally, I've never heard of a slave complain about treating this well."

"It's weird." You frown. "It's weird and creepy. All these niceties yet I can tell that you don't even mean half of 'em. Your heart isn't in it. You're just doing it for the sake of being nice. So I don't get it." You cross your arms and lean on the couch, deep in thought. "If you don't even mean it, why even bother?"

Aventurine hums, studying your silent and pondering figure before returning to his papers. You don't follow up your complaints with anything else, and the two of you are left to stew in the silence.

... Why even bother indeed?

"Last round and you only have one win, pup." His sickly sweet voice croons, tapping his perfect nails on the table as he watches your expression. "Are you excited?"

Normally you'd bite back, but today you thickly swallow. The looming sense of doom continues to hammer into the back of your skull, spiking your nerves with every beat and shaking your senses. You can barely feel your fingers. You can barely feel except for the fear coiling around your heart.

"... Yes." You can't even barely say a syllable.

Through the rushing blood of your ears, you can barely make out the sound of your master rummaging through something. Something metallic clicks into place and he slides it to the center of the table. You will yourself to look up—

A shiny revolver lies on the table.

A surprised cry elicits from your mouth and you jolt back. The sight of a weapon is enough to startle your poor nerves now and even more so the expectant look glinting in Aventurine's eyes. He smirks and leans forward.

"How about I make an offer you can't refuse?" Not that you were in a position to do so. "Since this is the fourth round, how about we go all in?"

"Russian Roulette. Whoever wins stays alive—"

—And the other lays dead in a puddle of their own blood.

It goes unsaid, but the moment you locked eyes with Aventurine, it was clear that the both of you were thinking of the same thing. You could ponder upon why the Aventurine would stake his own life over something so trivial as your freedom, but you aren't thinking anymore. All you want is your freedom. All you want is to get away.

You don't think further as you wrap your fingers around the handle of the gun and press it to your temple. You pull the trigger. Only a clean click follows, the chamber changing cases. You slide the gun over to him.

He calmly picks it up and slots it to his temple too. "Why are you so desperate to get away from me, pup?" He cocks his head. "I would give you everything you ask for, should you just ask. I treat you with care and as a friend. Is being with me so bad you'd put your life on the line for your freedom?"

He pulls the trigger. Nothing happens. He slides it over to you.

"Even if you go back to your old life, what would be the point? You'll go back to stealing whatever you can off nobles, treating your fellow street rats like fools and pawns before dashing off to your next victim. Would that give you happiness? Fulfillment? Is that the life you prefer instead of being next to me?"

"Sh... Shut up." You sound drained, but he presses on.

"You can have it all, in the price of a collar. Does it not sound good enough to you?"

'Why... Why of all people is he...'

"Do you really hate being owned by me?"

"Why are you..." You choke on your words, grip around the handle trembling. "Why are you saying those things?"

Aventurine has never seen you cry. Not once. Not even when he had to punish you for running away. You could be weak and beaten, but you never willingly cried. But now...

He raises a hand to cover his smile.

"I thought... I thought you of all people would understand." Tears drop to your lap and your hand lowers the gun from your temple. "The pain, the humiliation of being a slave, of being owned. It doesn't matter how nice you are to me. I just want to be free. Shouldn't that be enough?"

Silence overtakes the room as Aventurine takes in the unfamiliar sight before him. Here you were, his greatest treasure, the most vulnerable than you ever were. Sobbing and weeping with a gun in hand, the pressure of the bet finally getting to you.

He moves. "... So this is it? For your pride?"

You wince, looking at him in betrayal. "You... I thought you of all people would at least understand..." You stay silent, the words forming on your tongue but too afraid to sound them out. Then your expression twists into anger, then resolute determination, before you wipe away your tears and glare at him like you always did. "I was wrong. You're scum. Just like the rest of 'em."

The moment the head of the gun points at his head, the collar clamps down and chokes you till your throat cracks and bleeds. The current of electricity crackling your nerves is just as painful and torturous as last time, but you grit your bloodied teeth and press the gun further.

Aventurine looks dazed, staring up into your bloodied face. If you weren't in such agonizing pain you would have laughed at how stupid he looks.

"[Y. Name]..."

"I hope you go to hell," you hiss through the bloody pain. "And I hope that when I get there, I'll never have to fucking see you again."

You pull the trigger to that beautiful face of his, but nothing happens once again. Fuck. It falls to the ground as the pain overwhelms you and you finally stagger. It lays among the specks of blood on the carpet, along with its empty... case...

Your eyes flick to Aventurine, still caught off guard and staring at you with wide eyes. Hesitantly, he reaches out to your convulsing body and cradles your head. "[Y. Name]..." He says, still sounding dazed. "Why would you..."

"Fuckin'... coward..." You grit out. "I was right... from the very start..."

Aventurine watches as you succumb to the pain and collapse in his arms. Despite being unconscious, the collar continues to shock and choke you, and more and more blood spouts from the side of your mouth and into the carpet. He tries to wipe it, despite it continuing like a fountain, before giving up and stroking your hair as the pain continues to intrude on you in your sleep.

"I know," he whispers, pressing a kiss to your eyelid. "You know it as well as me." He presses a kiss onto the other.

"You were never a bet I was willing to wager."

#yandere honkai star rail #yandere aventurine #yandere hsr #honkai star rail #honkai star rail x reader #hsr aventurine #yandere x reader #yester.writes

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huellitaa · 8 months ago

Text

girl's guide to academic success: ep 1! ⊹˚. ♡

──★ ˙ ̟🎀 this post focuses on: actively rooting for success! ♡ part 2 -> ♡

🧸𓂃 ࣪˖ 1. organisation

first off, have something to organise ur academic life with! i personally use notion (which i'll add later) but u can use anything as long as it's cute, convenient, unique and accessible to you, your life and your schedule specifically. especially as a visual learner, i like to have somewhere i can dump literally everything regarding a singular area in my life, so i do this for almost everything along with school and i highly recommend this <3

🧸𓂃 ࣪˖ 2. recognition of talents & improvements

analyse your strengths and weaknesses. think back on tests, exams, marks, and analyse which ones you got highest and lowest on. dont beat urself up for it, obviously; it's just to check which subjects you're doing good in and which ones have room for improvement. for example i love science but im not the best at it sometimes and we had an assessment recently and i didn't get as high as i'd like so i wrote down a little list on a piece of paper in my pencilcase for the topics i got the least in for me to study on my own to practise later.

🧸𓂃 ࣪˖ 3. laying out goals

set down specific goals; i like to do this week by week accustomed to my schedule that week in my school notion page along with images and vision boards based on the term/semester, but you can do it for the week, the month, the year, anything as long as its helpful to you

🧸𓂃 ࣪˖ 4. productive planning

plan accordingly based on ur time energy. when creating any to do list or productivity plan dont pile a ridiculous amount onto it that just leaves you stressed and overwhelmed because that defeats the entire point; this works the same for academic plans and goals and lists etc.

🧸𓂃 ࣪˖ 5. extra credit

put extra work in to the subjects you know will help you in the future. for example, for my personal aspirations i need to excel in english, history and textiles so i always try my absolute hardest and put my all into those lessons and do extra studying for them in my free time where i can. school is to prepare you for the future so take advantage of that

🧸𓂃 ࣪˖ 6. asking questions

please don't be shy to ask questions! that's what teachers are there for and you won't have them forever so take advantage of it while you can! you can even do it in that little window of time just after class if ur too nervous to ask in class. for example, on my last english exam i went to my teacher after class and asked about what i needed to improve on to get the marks i missed next time, and he told me i added too much detail and some other things so i wrote it down and am keeping a note of it to remind me to improve on that next time! (i got top of my class though so i didnt mind. still kind of pissed i added too much detail though)

🧸𓂃 ࣪˖ 7. participation

participate! ok im saying this as someone who still struggles with social anxiety a fair amount but if u wanna get higher marks and get on good terms w ur teacher i 100% recommend this. i don't do this in every class but i do it where i can and when i'm confident in my answer, and it's really intimidating at first but what i did is i did it first in the classes i felt most comfortable on and continued from there. it gets easier every time i swear, and nobody's judging you; they'll forget about it after five minutes. plus, what would they be judging you for? being smarter than them?

🧸𓂃 ࣪˖ 8. prioritising ur health

this is mentioned a lot in these types of posts but if you're tired or burnt out or overworked or just feel like you need to take a break then do. do the best you can and compromise like i said earlier if you need to, just make sure u are prioritising yourself over anything. <3

──★ ˙ ̟🎀inspo

──★ ˙ ̟🎀my notion

i also really recommend this layout by @honeytonedhottie ♡

all my love 🩷✨💬🎀💗

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navybrat817 · 11 months ago

Note

Does Stud know what Smartie is getting him or will he try to get a hint?

He doesn't know, nonnie.

Cookies and Hints

Pairing: Roommate!Bucky Barnes x Female Reader

Summary: Bucky tries to get hints about his gifts as you bake together.

Word Count: Over 1.1k

Warnings: Fluff, established relationship, teasing, implied smut, humor, slight feels (it’s me, okay), talk of celebrating Christmas, Bucky Barnes (he’s a warning, okay?).

A/N: More short and sweet for Stud and Smartie. ❤️ Not beta read and written on my phone, so any and all mistakes are my own. Divider by the talented @firefly-graphics . Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog for new fics and notifications. Comments, reblogs, feedback are loved and appreciated!

There was something sweet about baking with Bucky. The kitchen became a hub for communication and collaboration as you made something tasty together. It was a way to be fully engaged and present with each other while creating new and happy memories. You looked forward to those moments together.

Even when Stud tried to drive you crazy.

You pinched the bridge of your nose before you scooped the last of the cookie dough onto the tray. “For the twentieth time, I'm not telling you what your gifts are,” you said.

You had just finished wrapping his presents this morning since you didn't want to wait until Christmas Eve. How you managed to sneak them in without him getting a glimpse was a proud moment since he was much stealthier than you. You wanted to surprise him and he was making it more and more difficult.

Especially since he kept giving you puppy dog eyes.

“First, I did not ask you twenty times,” he said, leaning against the counter as he watched you open the oven and carefully placed the tray in. “Second, I’m not asking for you to tell me what the presents are. All I asked for was a hint.”

“See, but if I give you any hints, you’ll figure out what they are,” you told him, setting the timer on the stove. “You're a smart man.”

“I appreciate the compliment,” he smiled almost sheepishly, which made you smile in return. He deserved all the praise. If no one else would give it to him, you would. “But I really think one tiny little hint wouldn't hurt.”

He doesn't know when to quit, does he?

“You were totally that child that went looking for your presents, weren't you? Wait, did you go into my room?”

Bucky placed a hand on his chest, a wounded look in his blue eyes. “Do you really think I'd go into your room without your permission?” he asked, the corner of his lip twitching. “I could also get the cats to ‘play’ with the wrapping paper. I mean, you can't blame them if they’re curious.”

Fair.

You thrust a finger in his face as you spun toward him. “James Buchanan Stud Barnes, don't you dare trick the cats into doing your dirty work. And I am not giving you a single hint and that is final,” you stated.

Of course, your attempt at intimidation didn't deter Bucky. Not when he locked eyes with you and wrapped his lips around the tip of your finger. You sucked in a deep breath when he flicked his tongue against it, the same way he did against your clit when he went down on you.

Oh, fuck.

As if he knew your womb clenched and panties dampened when he released the digit from his sinful mouth, he smirked and winked. “You sure about that?”

Jutting your chin out, you nodded. “Yeah because I used your full name, so… There.”

There's that stellar education of mine put to good use.

“Now if you’ll excuse me,” you began, reaching over to grab the used mixing bowl with as much grace as possible when he tampered down a laugh. “I need to clean this and you need to stop distracting me.”

“You know we can clean together and you can still give a clue,” he pointed out, reaching for the bottom of his T-shirt as you walked to the sink. “And if I really want to distract you, I can take this off.”

“Keep your shirt on,” you ordered, thinking it over as you turned on the water. “For now.”

You faced the wall as you rinsed the bowl, determined to stay strong. You wouldn't break. Bucky didn't need any hints. Not a single one.

You straightened up when he came up behind you and placed a hand on each side of the sink. Why did he have to smell so good? You didn't turn around, but you felt your heart speed up as the heat rolled off his firm body.

“Come on, Smartie,” he breathed low against your neck, his nose brushing along your skin. “Just a little hint and I won't bother you for the rest of the day.”

Maybe I want you to bother me.

You closed your eyes and almost dropped the bowl when his lips followed the path. “You're not playing fair,” you whined.

He chuckled as he pushed against you, letting you feel the outline of his cock. “Neither are you,” he groaned when you moved your hips back against him.

“You started it.”

“And I'm more than happy to finish it,” he promised, gently nipping over your pulse. “As long as it's inside you.”

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

Before you allowed him to do exactly that, you managed to spin around in the cage he made so you could face him. “You really want a hint?”

His face softened as he reached behind you to shut off the water. “Only if you really want to give me one.”

“Okay. Here it is,” you said, leaning in so your mouth touched his ear and smiling when he shivered. You wanted his heart to race the same way yours did. “Your gifts were all bought or crafted with love.”

It wasn't a clue at all, but it would tell Bucky all he needed to know. That no matter what you gave him, you selected and crafted them with care. Because he was your special guy and you wanted to spoil him a little.

The way he no doubt spoiled you.

You smiled widened as you leaned your head back. You thought baking cookies together was the happy memory you would make, but seeing the happiness in his eyes as he gazed at you warmed your heart. It was a look you cherished being on the receiving end of.

“That’s all I needed to hear,” he gently admitted, his gaze drifting to your lips before he closed the gap and kissed them. “Now that I have my hint, I need to taste you before those cookies finish baking.”

Yes. Spread my legs wide open and taste how sweet I am.

“Mmm. I may need to finish cleaning,” you teased, his large hands gripping your hips as he moved you away from the sink.

“Why clean now since we’re going to make it dirty?” He questioned, lifting you and placing on an empty spot on the counter. “And after I’ve had my fill, you’re gonna let me frost your cookie.”

“Bucky, no,” you giggled as he tugged at your pants, knowing full well you’d let him fill you up.

“Bucky, yes,” he smiled.

And as the scent of the sweet and sugary cookies filled the kitchen, that was exactly what he did.

We know he'll love his gifts. Love and thanks for reading! ❤️

Masterlist ⚓ Bucky Barnes Masterlist ⚓ Ko-Fi

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ryescapades · 3 months ago

Note

Hiii!! I was recently reading some of your writings which absolutely slap ‼️

A scenario came to mind after recently reading a webtoon named Pure Villain(which I defo recommend) and I was wondering if i would be able to request a Narumi Gen x Mitsuri!Reader where the reader is a new officer added into the first division and is somehow on par or even stronger than Narumi himself??

And similarly to Mitsuri i was hoping she would have joined the KDF to help find a man and due to her being so strong and what’s better than fining a man who’s part of the KDF!? And for a little prompt if needed then maybe add a moment where Narumi needs support or in trouble with a Kaiju she’s there to help!!

wild heart | kaiju no.8

— sure, you've thought about giving up on love sometimes, but that doesn't mean you had completely lost hope. luckily, narumi is there to burn that hope back aflame.

genre/warning: narumi gen x fem mitsuri!reader, fluff, reader's former division is not mentioned, set in pre-canon timeline (around b-side era probably??)

a/n: sorry for the delay and thank you for the request anon!! hope i got everything down as per your req :> i read a few chapters of pure villain too!! wanted to understand the plotline so that i could write this better. maybe i'll read the rest of it once i'm through w all my other work TT

1.97k wc

"you're amazing and all, y/n-san. but i'm sorry, you're just not my type,"

it's been... what? three times? four? five??? you don't even know. you don't bother keeping track anymore. it's always the same reason in the end. confessing to boys you've had a crush on throughout your adolescent years had become something you would dread every time.

you confessed, they acknowledged your immense strength, how clever you were, and then ended up rejecting you, saying you're not their type. which was utter crap in your opinion. those were definitely backhanded compliments.

you've never pointed that out to them, obviously. you were too nice for that.

regardless still, were they intimidated? did they refuse because you were too strong for them? too strategically intelligent for your age? did they just want a sweet, pretty book smart girl as a partner instead?

or maybe it's just the boys from your old high school who were like that. or the ones from the neutralization college that you used to attend. who the heck knows?

hence growing up, you've learned not to easily be swayed by and get attached to those who were too sweet and too friendly, locking away your fragile heart. if you were to settle down, you'd decided it would be with someone who is as strong, as capable and as brilliant as you are. an equal, if not more.

"starting today, all of you here will officially be appointed as defense force officers,"

and where else can you find such a capable partner if not the jakdf?

assigned as the representative of your batch after scoring the highest in most categories, everyone in the division admired you. you were sweet, kind and passionate in your job. not once have you gone a day without expressing your compassion and honest praises to others.

even your superiors admitted you were one of a kind, a talent so outstanding they almost offered you a high-ranked position if not for your current lack of experience in the field at that time.

as you progressed further in the division, you'd become close to your fellow officers. fighting and training alongside them, getting to know them better as you worked together during missions to neutralize kaiju. but alas, none of those you've met in the defense force ever caught your eye. they were astoundingly strong, sure. but no one has been it for you.

along the way, you'd almost gave up in believing that love was ever meant for you, now only focusing on honing your own talents and relishing the satisfaction of getting to save people from the monsters using said skills. it was only until one day you were conveyed a message to meet with your captain, though you were initially not informed of what business you were called for.

“you wanted to see me, captain?” you greet just as you enter the office, the usual shy and sweet smile plastered on your face.

"i received a letter from the headquarters. it's addressed to you," your captain says, handing over a piece of parchment paper.

you eyes rove over the lines of formal sentences as soon as you have the letter in your hands, eventually they widen upon registering the words in your head. "a transfer offer to the first division?" you ponder, fingers idly tracing the ink swirls.

your captain eyes you for a quick moment before speaking, "you should accept it. it's not often that the higher-ups themselves offer a place in the first division. it's a place for the elites, after all. not to mention they'd freshly appointed a new captain there," the almost-grimace in their expression at that last sentence does not go unnoticed by you.

your eyebrows raise in bewilderment, "must be someone extra, extra capable to be replacing captain shinomiya,"

"oh, he's capable, alright..." you hear your soon-to-be former captain mutter quietly, causing you to wonder just what kind of person the first division's new captain is.

˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

you don't even get to meet your new captain.

hell, you don't even get to introduce yourself to any of the first division members because as soon as you had arrived in koto ward which houses the ariake maritime base, there's already a kaiju attack happening.

you're about ten minutes drive away from the base when you were notified to engage in battle, quickly suiting up and your rifle at the ready as the vehicle you're in immediately changes direction to head towards the location of the attack.

an unfamiliar voice pings in your earpiece. "officer y/n? i'm hasegawa eiji, vice-captain of the first division. firstly, i'd have to apologize that you're not exactly receiving the best welcome to the base right now but we clearly have more pressing matters here,"

your head perks up at that. "no, vice-captain. i'm perfectly fine with it. if anything, i could maybe see how my skills can stack up with the best of the best there is," you say with a giddy smile growing on your face, barely holding in a squeal out of pure excitement..

there's a small chuckle before your new superior continues, "i hope you won't end up disappointed then. feel free to take down any yoju you see on the way here. i wish you luck, officer."

˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

on the other side of the battlefield, narumi frowns as he stands perched on the edge of the bridge, looking over the kaiju in the distance.

the yoju is easy enough to handle. shoot the core, bam, dead. the honju, however, is quite a hassle to deal with. it's fast, incredibly fast. sure, narumi's RT-0001 is able to detect synaptic impulses and produce foresight, but that doesn't mean it's any easier when there's two of the same speedy type of kaiju raging around in the area.

it's even more of a hassle when those two looming honjus response almost similarly to the other, as if their minds are one and the same. what are they, freak twins or something? narumi scoffs, running a hand through his bicolored hair and shaking off the dust from his combat suit where he nearly got crushed twice consecutively between two humongous fists, one from each of the twin kaiju.

well, nothing his ridiculously immense power couldn't beat, actually. but still, it'd have been nice if there's something...— his thoughts are interrupted by a loud gunshot to his right, his head quickly snapping to the side in search of a potential threat.

narumi's expression switches to a mix of a surprise and a little confusion, staring at what seems to be an officer who has her hand holding a... winch cable? he glances at the tow truck nearby, taking note of the slight burnt mark at the spot where the winch cable is supposed to be attached to the crane.

what the heck is that person doing? he thinks incredulously.

when you first shot the pulley that once held the cable in place, you didn't think your plan would work. it's kind of impulsive and a bit suicidal if you were to carry it out alone, you'd thought. but there's nothing else you can come up with, so you end up proceeding with it.

grabbing a dagger strapped on the side of your thigh, you manage to tie several overhand knots with the cable around the hilt before straightening up, bracing yourself for your next action.

"i really shouldn't be doing this... i don't have a death wish. i don't! i'm not even married yet. i can't die now!" you rant to yourself, taking a deep breath. you don't notice that a certain captain is staring at you clumsily fussing to yourself from afar, he himself jolting in shock when you land a harsh slap on your own puffed cheeks, as if sensing the pain himself.

you let out one last exhale before swiftly making your move, dashing forwards with the cable-tied dagger in your hand. your plan consists of only two moves; stab and wrap. stab the dagger into the leg of one of the kaiju, and then with your agility, wrap the cable around both its legs to hinder its movement.

you succeed in doing those two steps, of course. now who's going to get the second honju while you kill the first one? the cable isn't long enough to cover both giants. you could only pray that there's someone around strong enough to do that...

and pray you did.

because as soon as one of the honju had fallen down from having both its legs trapped together, you almost didn't notice the figure rushing forwards beside you, taking the same stance as you ready your rifle, pulling the trigger to finally finish off the first fallen honju at the same time the person next to you pulls his, two explosive gunshots ringing at the same time throughout the area.

the twin monsters fall dead simultaneously, blood pouring out of the large gaping holes as you stagger slightly, not aware of the overuse of your high combat power. a sudden but warm hand immediately grip your bicep, startling you from your exhaustion.

"how did you—?" narumi's astonished. you're so... powerful. you're also flexible and quick on your feet, maneuvering yourself around the stomping feet of the twin kaiju with so much ease. that blow you delivered with your measly rifle was almost as lethal as his own bayonet. probably the same type as ashiro, he wonders.

he stops for a second when he gets a good look on your face. "you're the newbie, aren't you?" he realizes as you too, survey him and his appearance with curious eyes. one thought comes to your mind almost right off the the bat when your sparkling eyes land on him.

"pretty..."

"... what?"

"what?"

the two of you stare at each other, dumbstruck for a moment. the man's cheeks flare, heat creeping up his neck that has your pupils zeroing on them out of pure fascination. "you just said i'm— i..." he sputters, causing you to finally grasp what you had just said. "oh my! sorry, i didn't mean to say that out loud," your own cheeks flush slightly, though your apology doesn't really sound like you mean it at all.

"you— you know what, nevermind! if i wasn't such a nice captain, i would've questioned you for your lack of respect! now report yourself to me, officer!" he fumes, still feeling the abnormal heat under his skin.

your mouth gapes at his statement, your mind backtracking to the fight earlier and remembering how he had quickly yet silently arrived to your aid when you most needed it, how eruptive his killing shot had been, how big and strong his hand felt when he steadied you. of course he's a captain, out of all things.

the sound of heavy footsteps approaching you interrupts both of your predicament. "ah, i see you've met the latest addition to our squad. narumi, allow me to introduce you to your new division member, officer y/n," the burly older man who you assume to be hasegawa states, sending a respectful nod towards your direction.

you've only heard of the name in passing, never seen the person himself as you were constantly stuck in your old division, never really had the chance to venture out on faraway missions and he was barely an icon only until recently. the most naturally talented soldier, on his way to become the strongest combatant of japan's defense force.

and he's your captain.

you don't bother looking at the second-in-command, too engrossed in observing the utterly gorgeous specimen of a man that is narumi gen. your heart thunders against your ribcage, the vibration steady yet tumultuous as if it's trying to free the organ from the chains binding around it.

he's it. he's the one for you. you just know it.

not a narumi fic of mine if it doesn't consist of at least one(1) blushing narumi lol /hj

©🅁🅈🄴🅂🄲🄰🄿🄰🄳🄴🅂. do not steal, translate or repost my work anywhere else !

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marsbutterfly · 1 year ago

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HELLO MARSLYN 😈

idk if you’ve done this already.. but could i have some dating headcanons for hanma? 🥹 ilysm

a/n: HELLO BITCHLYN <3 I am so sorry this has taken me so long BUT I finally finally finished this <3 I was going to make it all very sweet and fluffy then the smut came out. oh well, it is what it is hehe

Dating Shuji Hanma 𓈒∘☁︎

warnings: fem!reader, mentions of the following - blood, knives, bruises, violence, smoking and some creepy ppl at first, some anxiety if you squint. NSFW, oral sex (m! receiving), multiple creampies, no breeding kink tho. not proof read cuz i'm depressed 🫶🏻

𓈒∘☁︎ You "first" met Hanma by accident. It was a simple summer day, you were on your way back from class when a group of men stopped you on the street. Their faces were some you had never seen before, even though you walked the same path everyday.

𓈒∘☁︎ A smile crept on the biggest one's face and you could feel the blood nearly draining from your face and yet, your heart was beating so fast. A fear you had never felt before as they take a few steps closer, nearly pressing you against the wall.

𓈒∘☁︎ You don't have time to scream for help because, before you even realize, a shadowy figure is already on top of them. A slim boy with duo color hair throws punches around in such speed you have never seen before. He laughs a deranged laugh and you notice that he is mostly using his right hand, yelling something about "punishing assholes."

𓈒∘☁︎ Once all the creeps who cornered you are on the ground, a mess between bloody noses, swollen eyes and missing teeth, the boy turns to look at you. Splatters of red across his face as he walks closer, his left fingers rubbing his right knuckles.

𓈒∘☁︎ "Are you alright?" He asks, a blank expression on his face while his eyes give you a puzzling look that you can't quite decipher.

𓈒∘☁︎ "I think so," your voice cracks, hands shaking lightly as he walks closer. After a few seconds of examining his face, you realize you have met him before. In fact, it was a face you were maybe too familiar with, "Shuji?"

𓈒∘☁︎ The right side of his lip curls into a smirk and he raises an eyebrow, "I go by Hanma now, it's more intimidating!"

𓈒∘☁︎ After that, the two of you began spending more time together. While you weren't thrilled with his ways of getting what he wanted, you still accompanied him wherever he went. The gas station on the corner where he would threaten to beat the owner if he didn't give him a pack of cigarettes (of course you would pay the poor man behind his back)

𓈒∘☁︎ Or when he would bring you to the gang's hideout and listen for hours as he instigated the boys to punch each other (it became common for you to mend battered knuckles and accessing injuries)

𓈒∘☁︎ However, he could also be very romantic when he wanted to be. Like when he would take you out to dinner, though not typically to restaurants since he was banned from most of them, he would insist on taking you out for a night bike ride, the smell of the ocean mixing with the smell of whatever takeout food you ordered.

𓈒∘☁︎ You would spend hours sitting by the sea, the sand getting in between your toes after he splashed some water onto your feet. The cold breeze against your face and the sweetness of his lips against yours after eating dessert.

𓈒∘☁︎ He will bring out a deck of cars and insist on playing for a chance to see your boobies, he cheats and wins every time of course but he will deny it like his life depends on it if you call him out.

𓈒∘☁︎ I think he is caring in his own personal way. Even though he might sometimes get himself busted up pretty badly, he would never, EVER put your life in danger, willingly or not.

𓈒∘☁︎ I feel like he might also have a "special talent" though I'm not sure what it would be. Maybe he is really good at doing your makeup since his eyeliner is so on point.

𓈒∘☁︎ Or maybe he is really good at drawing and keeps leaving silly, little pictures around your house for you to find when you are away from him. Some are drawings of hearts, some are gory as fuck. Who knows what you'll find next time?

𓈒∘☁︎ He is very protective of you. Like, any man who gets too close or even looks in your direction, gets a stern look or maybe even a knife to the throat when you look away.

𓈒∘☁︎ The idea of having you all to himself makes him go crazy. He gets hard with the slightest of touches, and when he feels your mouth around his cock? He feels like he could bust a nut with the simply breeze of your warm breath.

𓈒∘☁︎ He loves it when you have your "bad girl moments", when you push his against his back and get on your knees, moving your hair out of your face to give yourself better access to his already throbbing cock.

𓈒∘☁︎ Oh, and he is obsessed with your pussy. The way he fills you up, the way you move your hips against him, the way he fucks you so hard his balls actually come in contact with your clit.

𓈒∘☁︎ He gets easily drunk on the scent of your sweaty skin mixed with his, the pool of your juices sliding down your legs towards the ground. Oh, how he loves the sounds you make.

𓈒∘☁︎ Also his pull out game is immaculate. The man has never worn a condom in his life, but every so often he will give into the temptation and release all of his cum inside of you. He will do it until you are dripping.

𓈒∘☁︎ Then he immediately goes out and buys like, three boxes of plan B. idk, the man knows the consequences to his actions.

𓈒∘☁︎ Oh and to finish this off, did I mention that he definitely asked you out by beating a bunch of guys up and either using their blood or displaying their bodies to form up the words: be my gf? because he did.

#hanma shuji #hanma shuji x you #hanma shuji x reader #hanma shuji x y/n #hanma headcanons #tokyo revengers #hanma shuji smut #tokyo revengers smut #tokyo rev smut #tokyo rev #jfbl #hanma shuji x reader smut #hanma shuji headcanons #tokyo revengers headcanons #tokyo revengers x reader smut #sleepysnk!

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casual-tarot · 2 years ago

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Pick a Pile: People's First Impression of you

NOTE: These are from other people's perspective, not necessarily what you think of yourself. ALSO, these are mostly just quick thoughts, impressions, not a full fledged reading.

Pile 1

You come off as very ambitious, probably a very work oriented person. They think you're hardworking and probably assume you're financially well off. They also assume you help your coworkers out a lot

Intimidating.

Someone who looks like they can have a good time. Someone who, from across the room, is always smiling or making other people laugh.

Outgoing.

Fiercely kind, someone who isn't afraid to speak up when something is wrong but usually never in an aggressive way.

People may look at you as a motherly figure(regardless of gender) in that you will guide others and lend a shoulder when you can.

Leader type, especially when it comes to work and your career.

Inspirational at times, someone who can get those around you motivated for anything. Work keeps coming to mind so this likely has to do with your career, but that's not the case for everyone.

A go getter, someone who just goes for what they want to achieve, little to no hesitation.

A planner, you may seem like someone who will just go for things but they don't see you as incompetent or foolish. People clock you as someone who doesn't hesitate to get what you want, but always has a plan for it, even if you never speak that plan out loud.

Very just and fair, unlikely to have bias or to let bias get in the way of any matter

Someone who can see right through people

I'm getting the vibe that some people may see you as manipulative, like your ability to clock people is used for evil lol, these impressions likely come from negative/jealous people so pay them no mind

Someone bright and sunny, kind

I think people think you're especially soft with your lover(s), maybe they see you with friends/partners/family from afar and see how gentle and kind you are to them, and assume it means that you are a very loving and thoughtful partner. I'm hearing/seeing Hand cupping/caressing cheek.

I think some people daydream about being your partner, they see your gentle touch from afar and wish it was them you were touching.

Someone who is very romantic. Like, rose petals on the bed or fancy dinner romantic. Some people just assume you're gentle nature translates to a super stereotypically romantic partner.

Someone who doesn't really care about or notice anyone's opinions about you, they think you go with the flow and don't let others thoughts bug you.

(Note: I hope that last part is true for you Pile 1, cause I get that vibe too! lol)

Pile 2

Immediately I get the vibe that people see you as incredibly kind at first glance. Maybe a bit Motherly? Even if you don't identify as a female. Someone who understands your emotional state well

Someone who is very in tune with their intuition and subconscious. People probably see you as wise when they first see/meet you. You've got that airy peaceful look on your face.

Some people see you as stressed, someone who struggles because you put to much on your plate. Maybe from a distance, they see you take on task after task, favor after favor, and imagine that it must be stressful to have that all on your shoulders. I'm also seeing "commissions" so maybe you're an artist of some sort. This may or not be true, but others see it that way.

Despite the above point, I do think people see you as content. Someone happy with their life, who sees the positives in everything and rarely complains.

People see you as very creative and passionate. Maybe some of you create and sell things as your job, like an etsy shop for example. They see this and imagine you are incredibly talented and ambitious, willing to start a business all on your own. For those that don't have a career like that, they still see you as ambitious, a go getter of sorts.

A good work life balance. Maybe others see that, despite being a hard worker, you always make time for yourself and loved ones.

You have a keen eye, people think you can see things that others would normally pass by. They also think you're a great judge of character, that can see through someone in and instant. I'm imagining you meeting someone for the first time and clocking their intentions right away, and closing yourself off to them, only offering a polite smile and conversation. And then likely talking to them as little as possible. There are people that hate this because they know they can't manipulate you as easily.

I think you mirror others in a sense? Like, if someone is a bad person, you make them see that without ever having to say anything. They realize they're being cruel to you because you don't submit to them all while smiling kindly at them. It makes them understand that their actions are wrong. Some people see and hate this and will actively avoid you.

People assume you are at peace with yourself and your life.

People see you as successful, incredibly so. Whatever you've got going on for your career and in your life, people see and think you have it good. You come across as someone who is well put together in life. I'm thinking white picket fence, even if that's not necessarily the life you have. They see you as someone who imbodies that term. I'm seeing someone who gets out of their car with a bag of groceries, someone who seems to have that stress free and successful life others want.

A lot of people look up to you because of the above reason, you inspire them to believe in themselves and get to the point you have gotten too.

(A note for this Pile that I keep hearing, you're doing good! Your doing so well! Keep it up!)

Pile 3

Immediately hearing "a romantic" so maybe you're a romantic at heart or a hopeless romantic. People see you as someone who dreams of meeting "the one" and loves love.

People see you as very passionate, both in the 18+ sense AND the ambitious sense.

On the note of 18+ people see you and think you're extremely attractive, they see you as someone "hot" with a "rocking bod" lol. I think people are intimidated by this sometimes. You seem like a very sensual person to others.

People also find your ambition incredibly attractive, it doesnt have to be in the romantic sense either. Some people see your ambition and passion and just deeply admire it.

Ambitious and goal oriented, people assume you take great pride in your job/creative work and assume you have a sort of plan of action.

Despite that, people don't think you're necessarily in it for the money, they assume it's just a bonus for you lol. You may come across as very humble.

A jack of all trades

A ray of light, a beckon of hope. Maybe you're an optimist or you just come off that way, but people tend to look to you for positivity, mostly in a work environment. They assume you'll be kind in anything you have to say, even if it's bad news.

I think some people assume that, secretly, you must be struggling. "You hide it well but, I know you well." Is what I'm hearing. Not they necessarily think they know you, just that they get the vibe that no one can be that successful/happy without some sort of tragic background.

I'm getting the vibe that some of the more negative/jealous types might feel that your positivity is all an act.

Leader type.

Very zen, some people assume you do yoga or something lol

I think some people might assume you do prayers? Not necessarily to the Christian God(though maybe you do) but maybe towards other deities. You may come off as a bit witchy lol.

A hard worker.

Someone who stays late in the office, or who works on a project late into the night. They assume you'll work day and night to finish your assignments.

There are some people that assume you're greedy. People get a general vibe of success off of you. Some of them assume that you must have a lot of money and that wanting to keep that close to your chest is just a part of that. It's a 50/50 on if they think this is a negative trait or not, depends on the person lol.

You probably have money put away for a rainy day.

"The world is at your fingertips."

Tranquil.

Kind and friendly.

Vain. Some people see your success and assume you're cocky and full of yourself.

Confident. I think that's the overall vibe I get, someone who is confident in themselves and their work. Someone that doesn't care what other people think, and a lot of people admire this, though it definitely makes other jealous.

(A note for this Pile that I'm hearing: you do you! Don't listen to what other people say, don't worry about their first and lasting impressions. Live for yourself and keep doing what you're doing!)

#pick a card #pick a pile #tarot #tarot reading #witchblr #free tarot #free tarot readings #pac #pick a photo #intuition #tarot cards #tarot community #tarot related #casual tarot reading #tarot pac

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sideprince · 3 months ago

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Do you have any thoughts on how Snape would have acted if Harry had been sorted into Slytherin? While I can’t help but feel that there would be a part of him who would want to joyously gloat about James Potter’s son ending up in Slytherin, I can’t help but wonder if he wouldn’t still hold a mountain of resentment that would be incorrectly targeted towards Harry? Do you have any thoughts on this? Thanks!

I think one of the key aspects of Snape and Harry's relationship is that they don't really know each other and don't get a chance to. If you look at how the rest of the staff treat Snape, there seems to be respect for him and while I'm not sure how many of his colleagues actively like him, they certainly don't dislike him. We see this in how the rest of the staff treat teachers they don't like, such as Lockhart and Umbridge:

...Dumbledore announcing that, unfortunately, Professor Lockhart would be unable to return next year, owing to the fact that he needed to go away and get his memory back. Quite a few of the teachers joined in the cheering that greeted this news.

-Chamber of Secrets, Ch. 18

The upshot of it all was that Professor Umbridge spent her first afternoon as headmistress running all over the school answering the summonses of the other teachers, none of whom seemed able to rid their rooms of the fireworks without her. When the final bell rang and the students were heading back to Gryffindor Tower with their bags, Harry saw, with immense satisfaction, a disheveled and soot- blackened Umbridge tottering sweaty-faced from Professor Flitwick’s classroom. “Thank you so much, Professor!” said Professor Flitwick in his squeaky little voice. “I could have got rid of the sparklers myself, of course, but I wasn’t sure whether I had the authority...” Beaming, he closed his classroom door in her snarling face.

Order of the Phoenix, Ch. 28

This leads me to think that since the staff have had some opportunity to get to know Snape, even if it's superficially (given how guarded he is), their treatment of him indicates that he's not as terrible and repugnant as characters like Harry make him out to be. And while it's possible that they were deferential to him because he can be intimidating, I don't really see a bunch of talented, established Hogwarts professors cowering. After all, Umbridge had more authority than Dumbledore and even fired a staff member, but the rest of the teachers didn't seem to be affected by whether or not they were intimidated by her. They also literally took on Voldemort and his army to protect the school.

The reason Snape is able to project so much of James onto Harry is because they don't know each other outside of the classroom. This is the same reason why Harry is able to resent Snape so much. We see a chink in both their armors during Occlumency lessons in OoTP, as Harry shows curiosity and Snape encourages it, but before they can start to get a fuller picture of one another as people, Harry wrecks it by invading Snape's privacy when he goes into the pensieve. It's integral to the plot - and the big reveal at the end of DH - that these two characters maintain a resentful distance.

If Harry had been sorted into Slytherin, they would have had more of a chance to get to know each other. The same way Harry was told by other Gryffindors as soon as he started school that Snape was strict, mean, and played favorites, if he'd been sorted in Slytherin he would have been influenced by their bias in the other direction, ie. in favor of Snape (and potentially against McGonagall given the rivalry with Gryffindor). Whatever resentment Snape had against James would have had an opportunity to soften over time as he inevitably got to know Harry better.

By his fifth year Harry would have been sitting down with Snape, not McGonagall, to discuss his career ambitions, and as his head of house Snape would have known Harry enough to advise him. We see throughout the books that heads of house like McGonagall pay attention to students even if they don't interact with them all that much directly. Had Snape had the opportunity to do so with Harry, and had he been motivated by his role as his head of house to defend him where necessary, he would have gotten to know Harry as an individual enough that whatever of James that rested in Harry's facial features would have fallen by the wayside.

That's only one part of how Snape relates to Harry, though. He's vocal about James, his friends, and his hatred of them, but he never mentions Lily once. We know Snape is a guarded man who frowns on wearing your heart on your sleeve:

‘I told you to empty yourself of emotion!’ ‘Yeah? Well, I’m finding that hard at the moment,’ Harry snarled. ‘Then you will find yourself easy prey for the Dark Lord!’ said Snape savagely. ‘Fools who wear their hearts proudly on their sleeves, who cannot control their emotions, who wallow in sad memories and allow themselves to be provoked so easily - weak people, in other words - they stand no chance against his powers! He will penetrate your mind with absurd ease, Potter!’ ‘I am not weak,’ said Harry in a low voice, fury now pumping through him so that he thought he might attack Snape in a moment. ‘Then prove it! Master yourself!’ spat Snape.

-Order of the Phoenix, Ch. 24

So it's no surprise that he doesn't mention Lily. He protected Harry at risk to his own life for the sake of honoring Lily's sacrifice. Clearly their friendship meant the world to him and left an impact, and because it's so tied up in emotion for him, Snape never talks about it. He isn't the kind of man to show emotion willingly, as we know. He smirks, he speaks softly when angry, he hisses, and he only loses the tight grip he has on expressing his feelings when he's triggered. There's a fair bit of information on the page about his relationship with James and how he feels about it, and how much of it he projects onto Harry (though I think that diminishes significantly from OotP on, especially after Sirius' death), but nothing at all about Lily except in his very private moments with Dumbledore.

What's even less straightforward is how much of Lily he sees in Harry. I wonder whether this was intentional on the author's part, but I'm curious whether Snape might get angry when Harry sasses him and talks back because his personality is so much like his mother's. So while there isn't much to go on, I think it's interesting to consider whether if Harry had been sorted into Slytherin, Snape might not have seen more of Lily in him given the opportunity to get to know each other a bit, and whether he might not have appreciated that about him.

#asks #meta #greysleipnir

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adelarsims · 1 month ago

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Embers Academy Spellcasting Tournament: Potions (Group 3)

potion challenge group 1, group 2

rules:

everyone’s needs are locked. i don’t want anyone to be at a disadvantage because they got stuck in simulation lag or spent all their time in bathroom line with other 31 people

they have 12 hours to learn 3 potions through practice. for each potion learned they get 24 points, plus 1 point for each full half an hour left after the last learned potion

autonomy is off, but if someone decides to leave their cauldron for whatever reason, i let them finish that action that distracted them before returning them to the task. their fault if they’re easily distracted, a spellcaster must have patience and grit

the third group: Belial Rose, Yolanda Bazin, Zinnia Rosier, Rochelle Weaver, Tiger Rain, Minerva Mystic, Constance Gravemore, Natalia Keraloms

everyone already started, but tiger decided to contemplate an empty cauldron for another hour. she still caught up and did very good in the end with the help of her emotional support dragon

baby belial was the first in her class to score points, she learned two potions back to back on the first hour, and then it took her 11 long hours to learn the third one. she even went to play some ping pong too, but got a grip after that and learned the last potion on the last minute

that's our little stress corner. constance and minerva side by side (or, rather, butt by butt) doing their best and thinking that they're not doing enough

meanwhile yolanda is mad at her potion and thinks that she can intimidate it into learning itself by staring at it angrily

and this is our no stress corner. zinnia is smiling and looking so innocent; smile all you want zinnia, i remember your shady schemes from the previous post!

rochelle is relaxed, not bothered by the grades at all, just doing what she can without beating herself up over it, and maybe even hums some melody under her breath

natalia got put back in her student phase with no magic rank and no perks. nooo, not a few more years of university again! she's still incredible in potions though. you can take all perks from the talented alchemist, but you can't take their love for potions

results:

belial, natalia and tiger - learned three potions each. great work, girls! so proud of belial who pulled herself together after 11 hours plateau, i know how hard it is.

minerva, constance, zinnia, rochelle, and yolanda - learned two potions each, some through stress, some by working at their comfortable pace (and a comfortable thought that if the magic thing won't work out, they also have a shady business, i'm not pointing a finger at anyone specific)

no one learned only one potion or nothing at all! as a whole, this group is the most accomplished :)

---

@rainmustfallts4 @lessathxhi @honeysylvan @vampirictrait @piupiowa @eldritch-simmer @merofthefae @mokoszkokosz

#morgyn’s spellcasting tournament #the sims 4 #ts4 #simblr

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kairismess · 10 months ago

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you're good enough.

🌻 characters: atsumu miya and tooru oikawa 🍰 genre: slight angst, but also fluff ! ✒️ word count: 745 💭 summary: he's been wanting to meet your family for a while now, but you've always put it off because you fear your mother'll say something unpleasant to your, and his face this time, again. he knows just how much you fear your mother, and instead of letting her degrading and humiliating words get to you... he showers you with all the love he can give and knows you deserve. 🍥 author's note: hey anon !! hoping this is how you wanted the fic :DD i'm sorry if it wasn't that focused on the angsty parts, i really hope this provided you comfort somehow, and to all those who struggle with parental issues like me, you're completely valid; who other people claim you are is not who you totally are and will be as a person. stay strong loves, and enjoy 💗

sensing the fear in your your voice and watching your eyes darken, he knows something unpleasant came from his words, or at least, the idea and intent behind them. the one thing he never wants to do is hurt you, or in this case, to make you feel helpless and scared. "hey... what's wrong? are you okay, dear?" he asks you, brushing away a stray lock of your hair and gently cupping your face with his larger, calloused yet gentle, palms. your cheeks felt cold against his warm hands, probably because of how anxious and intimidating the thought of him meeting your mother was to you.

nothing good ever came of you bringing close friends or people you fancied home to meet your mother, even if the rest of your family were okay with them, it was your mother specifically that always had a problem with every person you brought to your home; and in a way... with just, you. you never could figure out why your mother was so hard on you often times, she'd make little comments about you that'd sting, be direct about whether or not she liked something you were passionate about, and... would often pressure you, but would always tell you, "it's for your own good."

you didn't know anymore what 'your own good' was, and it made you feel angry about yourself, but you never thought of yourself usually, unless it came to him. he seemed so perfect, so charming, so put together and talented; everything your mother made you feel like you weren't.

you nodded your head hastily, forcing the corners of your lips to curl up into a smile. "...you sure?" he asks you, doubting the credibility of your smile. he's seen you smile many times, but only on a handful of occasions has he ever seen you give him a real smile. he notices the brightness of your smile was barely even there, the way your eyes crinkled up and how your cheeks raised didn't feel natural; he was very keen about the details of your face like that.

your smile soon faltered, and he immediately flashed you a gentle smile of his own, his face softening as his hands dropped down to clasp your hands in his own. "is it about me wanting to meet your mom?" you nod at his question after nearly a minute of silence. he nods in return, there must've been something that made you uncomfortable about that notion.

"well... i know your mom isn't... the nicest, nor the most supportive person in your life, but... if you don't feel brave enough, it's okay. we don't need to go," he reassures you, squeezing your hand in his. "but don't feel like you're an idiot for rejecting the idea, you aren't stupid, not like she says... you're a very understanding person, very loving, so loving that even if she drives you crazy, or if i drive you up a wall and smother you with all my love—you still consider other people's feelings," he told you with a beaming grin, moving his face closer to yours.

his nose brushed against yours as he rubbed the back of your hand with the pads of his fingers, chuckling under his breath. "for every bad thing you're mom, or anyone for that matter, has ever said or done to you... i'll give you every sweet thing you deserve from me, whatever you want, i'll give it; whatever you need... i'll make sure you have it. and of course... i'll keep reminding you of the truth," he tells you as he tilts your chin up with his thumb and looks you in the eye.

"you're beautiful, smart, caring, talented, unique, and worth loving. that's why i pursued you as the only one i'd ever want, sure, we're just teenagers for now, but... i want to reassure you like this not just a day, a week, nor a month from now; but forever, if you'll let me. i can't fully undo some of the damage you might have gotten from her or others, but... i'll help plant good memories in that beautiful garden of your mind, i promise," he murmurs, gently kissing your forehead as you feel the hot tears roll down your cheeks and stain your shirt.

he immediately dotes on you and kisses the corners of your eyes after wiping your tears away. "that's my girl, my beautiful, strong girl, who i'll love for eternity."

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the-cat-and-the-birdie · 1 year ago

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Never mentioned this and this might sound insane but I'm starting to think this so let me know:

I believe that Miguel didn't mean THIS as an offensive move.

I think THIS happens with every Spider-person intro.

Spider Society is Cultish - but not in the way you may think.

[A MEDIUM HYPOTHESIS post about what the fuck was up with that huge mob that no one reacted to at all.]

So a lot of people have mentioned in the past about these hundreds of people surrounding Miles.

Miguel gives Miles the standard intro - explaining the multiverse and it's connections.

He asks Lyla to do 'the thing' - and none of the information is tailored to Miles. So we know this presentation is a routine thing. The 'explainy' thing Miguel shows to recruits in general.

Then at the end, suddenly 100s of Spider-people come from seemingly nowhere, surrounding Miles. They don't move or speak. But for some reason they're all there and they came from nowhere.

Originally I believed this was to intimidate or trap Miles. But then I realized

Hobie isn't reacting.

To me, Hobie is more reliable, knowledgeable, and trustworthy character in the scene.

We can assume he wasn't in the conversation with Peter and Gwen - so if this was a planned, sudden, offensive move, he wouldn't know about it.

If Miguel suddenly had people surround Miles without explanation, as an offensive move,

I feel like Hobie would have reacted.

At this point we've established in this moment, Hobie's #1 goal is keeping Miles safe. No matter what.

So 100s of Spider-people surround them in a group - but when we look at him, he's not surprised. He's still relaxed, his focus still on Miguel and not the new additions in the room.

He doesn't even really look at the other people. He doesn't wonder where they've come from and he isn't confronting Miguel for summoning them.

But instead, he doesn't. Nobody reacts. He lets the scene play out.

If this was actually an offensive move:

Then why is Hobie not reacting? Why is Gwen not surprised or nervous?

From what we know of his character, I feel like if this were a sudden offensive move, Hobie would NOT have let Miles handle the situation himself.

Hobie is down for fighting hundreds of people - if anything he's the only Spiderman talented at taking down large battalions of armed people (hoards of cops).

But instead he hangs back, letting Miles handle the situation, because he doesn't consider the hundreds of people a threat (until after Miles breaks out).

So why are they here? And why isn't Hobie reacting/alarmed/angry?

Why is everyone so calm about this mob?

Because I think they're supposed to be there. I think it's apart of the intro speech.

I know that may sound a little stupid. But.. in the context of what Miguel is trying to actually do, I believe it. And arguably it makes the whole thing worse.

I believe the reason Hobie didn't react is because - it happened to him. That's what they do.

They give you the speech about the multiverse, they show you all the nodes, and the corresponding tragedies -

And then they bring a group of Spider-people to surround and comfort you.

That's fucking creepy.

As a new recruit it would be an effective tool at assimilation.

To have everything explained to you, to be shown your own tragedies and trauma, to be shown others tragedies and trauma -

And then have those people come from the wings at the very end. To hug you and say 'We understand you! You're one of us now!'

Like an initiation. To bring you to your most vulnerable emotionally - and then present you with people who can 'understand'.

Is it bizarre? Yes. But it's it what cults do.... Yeah.

One of the mainstays and foundations of cults are rituals - initiations, welcomings, and inductions.

And closeness between members, a sense of community and vulnerability is one of the first things cults seek to sow within new recruits.

I think Hobie isn't reacting, because it's happened to him before.

I believed that like Miles, Hobie was shown the explainy' thingy, Miguel explained 'Everything' to him, and then at the end, Miguel brought in dozens of people to offer comfort - or to share their stories.

Hobie, Gwen, and Peter were only there because they know Miles/were already with him.

But for someone like Gwen, or a reason recruit, they'd be given this explainer alone most likely. Just them, Miguel, Lyla, and maybe Jess.

So it kinda makes sense that Miguel would have other people come in at the end to vouch for him/share their experiences.

Now, we know Hobie. When Miguel is showing Hobie's past events, Hobie minimizes it and tries to brush it off. Hobie would probably see these people his time around and be like 'pisss offffffff'

But!! I will say, this crowd could also be used for a double purpose - which I think Miguel would know. But from his reaction, no one has tried running before. He seemed genuinely surprised. So I think it's primary function is comfort/initiation ritual.

Do I think Miguel is purposely doing this to manipulate recruits?

Nah.

I don't think he's doing it with the intention of brainwashing. Miguel believes he's being completely reasonable, so brainwashing wouldn't be necessary in his eyes.

Miguel thinks if he can explain it enough, they'll understand (that is, until he accidentally let it slip about the two days thing and even then he continues trying to explain it further).

I think he does this with the intention of building comradery in a fast way, not understanding that just because HE is fine sharing his trauma and showing it to other people over and over again, doesn't mean everyone else does.

He show people a hologram of his daughter dying in his arms then looks at you like

UMMM SIR???? I JUST GOT HERE. IDEK YOU. IMAGINE HOBIE REACTING TO THAT

Miguel genuinely doesn't understand that's not how you get over shit.

He doesn't understand that because HE likes to overshare and show you his daughter dying (even though reliving said trauma takes a visible toll on him)

- doesn't mean everyone wants to see that, or talk about that, then hug all Kumbaya.

[Miguel be like ayo u mind if I experienced a deep sense of derealization as I relive one of the worst moments in my entire life in 3rd person then continue like everything is okay iight cool]

I don't think he's doing it maliciously. I think as a traumatized person himself he doesn't understand that... What he's doing isn't therapeutic as he thinks it is.

But because in his eyes, doing this would help the recruit understand and bring people together, he'd do it.

(In my eyes).

But that's still cultish. VERY CULTISH.

Having 100s of strangers surround a teen to intimidate them is weird.

Having 100s of strangers surround a teen to offer them comfort at their most vunerable in an attempt to get them to sympathize with your cause and willfully give up their own free choice is WEIRDER.

THAT'S WEIRD AS FUCK. AND CULTS DO THAT.

that makes me MAD UNCOMFORTABLE thinking about it.

'Sorry ur dad is gonna die. Group hug?'

Miguel..... Stop employing teenagers. Matter of fact stop talking to teens. Stop talking to other people's kids all together wtf really wtf

But that's just a hypothesis. And this is one I'm very curious and still thinking about really.

But I always questioned the same things - Where did they come from? Why is no one reacting? Why is HOBIE not reacting? How did they know to be there? What was Miguel trying to do?

I feel like the answer 'They're there to scare Miles,' left me with more questions like

'Why is no one reacting? Why is HOBIE in specific, not reacting? Or rather, why is he not visibly surprised?'

But my hypothesis is that

They were there since he started the explainer thingy. There's a door for them to get in, because this is routine. They probably get paged every time he does the intro.

No one is reacting because this is routine. Gwen and Hobie have both had this happen to them, and the crowd is there for a purpose of some sort. Either crowd control, comfort, initiation, or all three.

But what do you think? I'm still baking this one in the dome so to speak.

Why do you think Hobie and Gwen didn't react? What do you think the crowd is there for/how did they get in?

Is this copium, or are you picking up what I'm putting down cause I am SO CURIOUS about this I've ALWAYS QUESTIONED WHY THE HELL WHERE THEY THERE AND IF THIS IS A THREAT WHY ISN'T HOBIE KICKING MIGUEL'S ASS

#spiderman #atsv #marvel #no proofread ever normalize not listening to yourself #spider man #hobie brown #across the spiderverse #spider punk #peter parker #Gwen Stacy #peter b. parker #peter b #Miles morales #spiderpunk #miguel o'hara #miguel ohara #spiderman2099 #spiderman 2099

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circyexistforcontent · 2 years ago

Note

Sagau with a mitsuri like god?

SAGAU: WITH A LOVING GOD READER

❀ synopsis: the god of teyvat is finally looking for a consort, and Zhongli just so happens to be the chosen candidate. What will be Xiao's response to this epiphany?

❀ notes: I wanna make headcanons about demon slayer soon, probably once I am done watching the swordsmith village arc. Also this is a bit rushed because I just want to post something before I study for days on end with exams coming by. pls, this is Xiao and Zhongli centered because I'm making my way to Liyue BABY-

❀ pronouns: they/them

Stories about your strength and benevolence have been shared all around Teyvat. How you have fought countless outer gods and purified multiple worlds from corruption were shared with kids and studied by historians to understand more about your past. But of course, you acolytes are the ones who know just how deep your love runs for your people.

One of them was Xiao. Xiao was one of your followers who got to know you personally, ever since you manage to defeat the tyrant who took control of him. He swore loyalty to you and stood by your side ever since. Small talk was common, and though you have to initiate and carry out the conversation, it was still pleasant.

He makes sure to check that the food you were consuming was safe and not poisoned (as if poison would affect you in any way), and he pressures the cooks to ensure you are only served the best gourmet food. Most of your acolytes know how protective Xiao can be for you so they stay out of your way as much as possible, only communicating with you through gifts and letters that are present in your shrine.

Only a selected few acolytes that can talk to you are the archons. Mostly because Xiao knows he can't defeat them even if he tried, and he wouldn't be a fool to try and intimidate them. He respects the Geo Archon, he can tell he was a very devoted follower of yours and he respects his values. His least favored archon was the Anemo God, though it's more of indifference than dislike.

While he does enjoy the bard's musical talent, all he has ever done is push you away from your work and distract you with little escapades. He has confronted Venti about it multiple times and all he did was shrug off the commotion and skip away.

May Celestia help anyone daring to approach you after you made an announcement that you are finding a consort. They have to go past Xiao first if they want to go to you. He would be supportive of Zhongli being your consort, but something felt off when he proposed the idea to Xiao. He isn't very educated in the ways of feelings, but he can sometimes tell when the emotions are good or bad.

He knows Zhongli is more than worthy to be standing beside you. He should be proud that his Master has found someone like Zhongli, but...why does his heart tell him otherwise? He does his best to shove it down when he watches him hand you a bouquet of qingxins, every time you hold his hand and kiss his face, every time you feed each other Xiangling's latest dish. He doesn't understand, why isn't he happy for the both of you?

Is the problem in him? Why is he like this? He projects his anger towards hilichurl camps before he is left alone to reflect on his feelings. He usually feels like this when he senses something bad is going to happen...is it because the Geo Archon is hiding something? Was something going to happen on the day of the wedding?

Yes, that must be it. The wedding is going to be sabotaged. Or! Or! The wedding must be a scheme to put you in danger. He needs to find a way to postpone the wedding date to find out whats causing him to feel uneasy.

So now it's mostly just him trying to convince you that you don't need to rush the wedding process, while you just sit there for hours straight waiting for him to finish.

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ot7stan4life · 2 months ago

Text

I Missed You

Handong (Dreamcatcher) x Female Reader

(1 part - completed ✅)

Word Count: 2500

Summary: With you and Handong both being members of different girl groups, you find it hard to make time for each other. After lengthy international schedules, you’re finally able to reunite and, in a moment of vulnerability, you begin to truly understand the full extent of your feelings for each other.

Warnings: no warnings

Idol cameo: Rosé from Blackpink

"Are you sure it sounds good?" the younger blonde member asked, still unsure of the final product of her solo bside even after the endless reassuring compliments I’d given her in just the past few minutes. "I feel like it's missing something,” she stated and turned in her chair to mess with the sound board. "Maybe I should add-"

"Rosie,” I exclaimed with a laugh. "You're gonna be adding stuff all day if you keep overthinking."

Her hands slowly retreated from the massive panel of buttons and she looked up at me, pouting.

"I promise you it sounds perfect. There’s no need to worry.” I sent her an encouraging smile. “Now is the part of the process where you sit back and appreciate it."

She just nodded with a sigh of resignation and stood up.

"You're right, unnie."

Her feet lead her towards me and she outstretched her arms for a hug.

"Thank you for helping,” she mumbled into my shoulder.

I smiled when she backed away and looked into her eyes to see nothing but sincereity.

"Seriously, I couldn't have finished it without you."

Rolling my eyes, I playfully shoved my best friend. "Now you're just getting all sappy. I did nothing."

The Aussie giggled cutely and grabbed hold of my hands so she didn't stumble backwards.

"Whatever, you know I suck at producing on my own,” she stated a little too easily and I frowned at her degrading comment.

"I'm gonna let that slide because we both know it's not true, but next time I hear you talk about yourself like you're not the most ridiculously talented human being ever, I will beat you up."

My eyes squinted threateningly but she only laughed again.

"Right, like you would hurt a single living thing in your life... you big teddy bear,” she mocked, jabbing her fingers into my stomach.

I swatted her hand away which prompted another laugh from her and I grumbled, "I don't know who's worse... you or Dongie."

The mention of my girlfriend seemed to jog her memory because she suddenly exclaimed, "Oh! Are you going to see her tonight?"

She now had her phone in her hands, busy looking something up.

I took a step closer and replied, "Yeah, why?"

"If you see Yoohyeon, will you tell her to respond to my texts?" Her eyes moved from the nearly empty text thread on the screen of her phone back up to my face. A hint of a frown pulled down the corners of her lips at the mention of the Dreamcatcher member she had been making an effort to befriend.

"You know she's terrified of you, right?" I chucked a little.

“Why?” she exclaimed, seemingly both confused and upset all at once while I continued laughing at her dilemma. "I'm like the least intimidating person alive!"

My laughter grew in volume at that and I had to bite back a remark about how true that statement was.

"Because you're an attractive woman, that’s why,” I smirked, remembering how shy the tallest member of my girlfriend's group was around me when I first started hanging out with them.

Handong had warned me about how panicky Yoohyeon got over pretty girls and said that's likely why she hadn't texted Rosé back, too afraid she would say the wrong thing and make a bad impression.

Rosé just sighed in defeat, probably relating to the girl she wanted to get close to. Really, Yoohyeon reminded me a lot of my best friend. They had tons of similarities, so much so that they could very well be the same person in a different body. I mean, they were even born in the same year... that couldn't be a coincidence.

"I'll tell her you don't bite,” I reassured her, only slightly joking. Still, it seemed to make Rosé happy.

"Good,” she smiled. "Now go have fun with your girlfriend. I know you've been dying to see her."

My smile mirrored hers thinking about how much I've been missing Handong since we've both been overseas and I leaned down to hug my best friend once again.

"Tell her I said hi."

My heart warmed at how supportive she was of my relationship and how she went out of her way to even befriend Dongie. Although Rosé was Korean unlike Handong and I, she was still a foreigner having lived in Australia for most of her life and could relate to us in that sense. Plus Rosie was a friendly person by nature so the friendship between her and Handong grew quickly and smoothly.

"I will."

When the hug was over I gave her one last stern glance.

"You better not spend all night working on that song of yours, you hear me?" I pointed my finger at her to emphasize my words.

"Yeah, yeah." She slowly shook her head with a smile. "And you better not have too much fun with that girlfriend of yours,” she gave her best mom voice.

I saluted her, making her wave me off with a laugh.

"Bye. I'll be back later tonight,” I waved, walking to the door of the studio.

"Alright, byeee-” she dragged out, waving back.

"... as long as I don't get kidnapped,” I added just as I slipped through the door.

I could just faintly hear a 'that's not funny' from the younger girl before I was out of earshot. The reply made me chuckle to myself, thinking about how much she worried over me even when it wasn't necessary.

Once I left the company, I went back to my apartment to get dressed. The outfit I chose was nice but not too flashy with the addition of a ball cap, face mask, and sunglasses. Being a member of the most well known girl group in the world came with its perks, but also its downfalls: one of those being the inability to go out in public without getting recognized. Even with the 'disguise,’ it was likely that someone would still notice me. I wouldn't mind it so much if I wasn't afraid of how people would react to me having one on one dinners with Handong.

At this point the general public assumed we were just good friends that bonded over our shared home country and the struggles that came with leaving home and adapting to Korean culture. But I feared the longer we saw each other the more people would start to suspect something deeper between us.

The idea itself didn't bother me, but the inevitable hate that my so called 'fans' would throw at Handong and her members just over the potential rumors was really what worried me. It was something we talked about early on in our friendship, yet Handong always reassured me that she could handle it and that I was worth it. As much as I wanted to argue with her, her clear dedication to our relationship warmed my heart. Plus, maybe I was a little selfish and wanted to keep her in spite of the risks. Either way I'd stand up to my fans and stick up for her if it came down to that and I knew she would do the same for me.

That in mind, I started my drive to Dreamcatcher's dorm, feeling excited about seeing Handong after the month we had been apart. When I arrived, I quickly made my way inside and up to the right level.

After knocking, Minji was the first to greet me with a friendly smile. She asked how I was doing and offered to get me anything from the kitchen, but I politely refused after responding to her greeting.

A couple other members came to see what the commotion was about and Minji left me with them to go fetch Handong.

Yoohyeon had excitedly bounded towards me when she realized it was me (having previously removed my sunglasses and mask) and gave me a hug, telling me how much she missed me.

"I missed you, too," I replied honestly before asking, "Have you been well? How was the tour?" My question was also directed to the maknae who had appeared at Yoohyeon's side to greet me as well.

They both briefly said how much they enjoyed it but how tiring it was before pelting me with compliments about my group's comeback and our VMA performance, saying how cool it was that we got to perform at an American award show and asking about the celebrities we met.

I was overwhelmed by how kind the two were and did my best to answer their questions as I waited for Handong.

As the topic started to shift, I took my opportunity to fulfill my best friend's request.

"You know, Rosé met Taylor Swift while we were there. You should ask her about it some time, Yoohyeon.” I nudged her shoulder with my elbow, raising my eyebrows at her.

She seemed to get what I was hinting at and blushed. "Oh okay- yeah. M-maybe I will." The idea of my member clearly made her flustered and I smiled.

"You should. She's been dying to talk to you," I winked at her which only made the panic worsen.

Just then a familiar voice that made my heart flutter spoke from the distance, "Sorry I kept you waiting, we got finished with practice later than I anticipated."

My eyes finally met those kind, soft brown ones and I felt my cheeks heat up at her appearance. She somehow always looked so elegant and expensive and the black blazer she had on with the necklace I bought her for her birthday earlier this year only further proved that. Her hair was also different than the last time I saw her, now cut into a black shoulder-length two-tone bob with blonde underneath. It somehow made her look older and more mature and I felt my heart rate rise through the roof as I stared at her.

Realizing I probably looked ridiculous in that moment, I closed my mouth and replied, "No, no it's fine. I wasn't waiting that long." My mouth shut with a smile that grew when she looked at me skeptically and chuckled.

"Acting so formal because my members are around," she questioned, "or has it really been that long since we've talked in person?" Her expression was still amused but I could sense that she was also saddened by the last part as much as I was.

"No, I think my brain couldn't believe that the beautiful woman standing in front of me was somehow also my girlfriend,” I said in total honestly, not even trying to be flirtatious.

My words made Yoohyeon squeal beside me even though they weren't directed at her and Gahyun mumbled some exclamation about how she ‘can never seem to get away from it.’

Handong had a different yet predictable reaction, shoving my shoulder and scrunching her nose in mock disgust, yet I could see the pink seep into her cheeks. She liked to pretend that she hated when I said cheesy stuff like that, but I knew she loved it. It always got to her anyways.

"Okay, let's get out of here and away from these pabos." Handong leaned into me but said the last part loud enough to elicit annoyed responses from the two younger members.

I giggled at how their playful behavior resembled the way my members and I joked with one another before bidding them a final farewell. Linking my hand with Handong's, I let her pull me through the doorway and out of their dorm.

When we got into the hallway, she led me to the elevators and pressed the button.

As we waited, she turned to me and put her arms around my neck.

"I missed you,” she finally admitted now that we were alone and looked into my eyes sadly.

My heart sped up and I grabbed her waist to pull her closer.

"I missed you, too." I frowned at her voice and impatiently tilted my head so that my hat didn't hit her forehead before kissing her.

When our lips met, I sighed in relief: her kiss like the first drink of water after a month-long drought. Promotions were especially tiring this time around, but knowing that I would be going back to Handong at the end was the only thing that got me through it.

She started to pull back, but I kissed her again, showing her how much I had really missed her. Her hands grabbed the back of my neck gently and the exhale she let out against my cheek was slightly staggered. Something wet landed on my shirt and it was only then that I realized she was crying.

Alarmed, I pulled back suddenly and examined her face to see fresh tears sliding down her cheeks. By now the elevator had arrived, but I didn't pay it any mind, more concerned about the woman in front of me.

"What's wrong, DongDong?" I asked lightly, but the nickname seemed to make it worse when she whimpered and buried her head in my neck. I held her tighter around her waist and rubbed her back soothingly.

"I'm sorry,” she mumbled into my neck and my heart broke.

"You don't need to apologize, jagi," I whispered and turned to kiss the side of her head.

"I don't mean to cry,” she sniffled, clutching the back of my shirt. "I guess I just didn't realize how much I really missed you."

I felt my own tears starting to form and could only let out a small laugh in response, thinking about how ridiculous we probably looked hugging each other while sobbing in the middle of an empty hallway.

Still, I sucked the tears back in, trying my best to stay strong and comfort her instead.

"Being away from home is never easy either... if you can even really call this home,” I said softly.

She sniffled again and leaned back.

I instantly used my sleeves to wipe the fresh tear stains off her face and she just watched me with a pitiful smile. Once I rid all the stray tears from underneath her chin, she pulled me forward and gently slid my hat off to rest her forehead on mine.

"You are my home,” she told me simply, yet nothing about that statement was simple.

Nothing in the meaning or the way it made me feel. It was better than 'I love you,’ because it meant I was the one she felt safe and comfortable with. Even more than her family back in China. It meant that I was her forever. And that made me feel the most love I had ever felt in my life. From her and for her. Because I knew she was mine too. She was the only one I ever wanted to go back to. The one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.

So, I said the same back to her and I kissed her knowing that, though it was the first after a long time, it certainly would not be the last.

**This imagine was transferred over from my Wattpad acc OT5Stan4Life**

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c0wgurlz · 2 years ago

Text

Trouble On My Left, Trouble On My Right

Chapter 1: Sweet Caroline

Kayce Dutton x Reader/OC - Friends to Lovers

He grabs ahold of the belt loops on either side of my hips. “I just-” he shakes me, “I’m tired of people treating me like some wounded animal or-or like some bomb just waiting to go off. You’re the one person who-,” he licks his lips, “you’re my person. Please don’t do that to me.”

----------------------------------------------------------------

UPDATE: CHAPTER 2

I'm a long-time fic writer and an even longer reader, but this is my first attempt at writing for Yellowstone. If ya'll have any notes on characterization or just anything in general, I'd love to hear your thoughts. Thank you for reading xx.

As always: I do not own Yellowstone (2018) or any of its characters. This work is not monetized.

THIS FIC IS CROSSPOSTED TO AO3. It is not posted to any other site. I am lookingcold on AO3 and that is all. I do not give permission for my work to be posted by others to any other platform.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

I was no stranger to the Yellowstone Ranch, but bumping my way along its seemingly never-ending dirt drive, I still couldn’t help but feel out of my depth - like a little kid made to ride a bike with no training wheels. Its sprawling pastures surrounded by the towering mountains, standing at attention like century guards, intimidated me, and I had spent nearly every day of my childhood gallivanting around the property. I can only imagine how outsiders feel the first time they dare to mosey onto the ranch. Now, all this isn’t to say that I wasn’t looking forward to returning to Yellowstone, I undoubtedly was, but being there at the (somewhat) wisened age of twenty-seven felt significantly riskier than it had at the naive age of seventeen. The Yellowstone was trouble, and I had spent the last ten years of my life trying to stay out of it. Putting myself right back into its clutches went against every instinct I have.

Still, I was excited to see the people I had come to know as family. When my daddy died when I was only twelve, Mr. John treated me like one of his own, and when my momma remarried a man who was known for his fiery temper and love of the drink, he took me in as his own. My daddy and Mr. John had been best friends, so truly I think he felt as though it was his duty to care for me, but I like to believe he loved me all the same. And I loved him back. He taught me everything I could ever need to know - plus some. Helped put me through college. Even supported me when I wanted to take on the pageant circuit - although I don’t believe he minded the extra bit of shine my winning of Rodeo Queen added to his reputation. Hell, I even loved his ragtag group of kids, Jamie included if you can believe it. They were my family, and I wouldn’t have traded them for the world. Except I did, because Yellowstone was trouble, and I couldn’t let myself get caught up in that. And neither could Mr. John.

Sneaking up on Rip was somewhat of a talent I had cultivated over my long years spent on the ranch. I’m proud to say that I’m still the only son of a bitch who can do it. And that’s why I park my truck a good half mile down the road from the corrals. There’s a small hill in the dirt drive that obscures the shoulder of the road as you approach the house, one that Kayce and I used to hide away in, smoking or drinking, trying to stay out of trouble while getting into it. I park my truck on that hidden shoulder, closing my door as quietly as I can before approaching the road. As I walk, I stick as close to the fence line as possible, relying on the looming fence posts to provide me with cover. I know that if I can make it past the corrals unseen and circle around the back of the barn I’ll have Rip jumping a foot in the air before he can even catch a whiff of me. Lucky for me he’s locked in on what I can only describe as clownery, supervising some gangly kid as he works to stay on a bronco. Taking my golden opportunity, I creep through the barn, hushing whinnying mares as I go, before sidling right up to Rip’s left side.

“Now that kid has got balls of steel,” I comment, hands splayed across my hips, head nodding in appreciation.

I wish I had the words to appropriately describe Rip’s reaction. With a little hop and shout, Rip whirls on me, hand splayed across his chest, breath thundering in shock. “Jesus, what in the fuck do you think-” And that’s when he realizes who exactly he’s about to chew out. His eyes go wide and a grin starts to stretch across his weathered face. “Well as I live and breathe, if it isn’t sweet Caroline herself, gracing us with her beauty.” He takes a step towards me. “Come ere ya little menace!”

Before I know it I’m wrapped up in the warmest, most comforting bear hug on earth. If Mr. John had been like a father to me, then Rip had been like a big brother. My protector and confidant - and the target of my and Kayce’s many pranks.

“Where have ya been?” He jostles me around. “Haven’t heard from you in over a year, and haven’t seen you in well over that. Too busy for us old cowpokes?”

I hold onto his hands, squeezing them. “Well I haven’t been ignoring ya’ll on purpose, I’ve just been a bit busy. I -” And that’s when Mr. John comes ambling down the lodge steps, casual and collected as ever.

“She’s been in Oklahoma, working PR for the rodeo circuit. And based on what I hear, she’s pretty damn good at it.” Before I know it I’m embraced in a fierce hug, and if I didn’t know better I’d say I heard Mr. John sniffle. “It’s good to see you, honey. Welcome home.”

Rip looks between myself and Mr. John, confused. “You mean Caroline’s back working the ranch? We ain’t got any beds left in the bunkhouse.” At this, he turns to me, “Not that I’d expect you to sleep there but I know how stubborn you can be about doing what’s right.”

Mr. John cuts him off. “No.” He responds gruffly. “She’s not here as a ranch hand, she’s here as my PR specialist.” Casting Rip a pointed look, he murmurs, “Ya know with all the problems we’ve encountered lately I thought we should call in an expert to help with damage control, and who better than family.”

Rip nods gravely, a closed expression covering his face that I don’t particularly like the looks of. “Well if that’s what she’s here for then I’ll leave you two to talk privately. I’ve got wranglers to wrangle and supper to check on.” He turns to walk away, but pauses, angling his body towards me. “If you need me, Caroline, for anything, don’t hesitate to shout.”

He looks so serious, so grim, I feel the small, unsure age of eleven all over again. “Ok.” I nod, my voice coming out thin and reedy. “I will.”

“I mean it.” He’s firm. “Anything.”

“I know Rip.”

With that, he gives a final tip of his head to Mr. John and I, stalking off to holler at the gangly kid - Jimmy.

“What was that all about?” I turn to Mr. John, big-eyed and pale.

Looking resigned he says, “You know Rip, he’s just protective of you is all, and he knows I’m about to ask a lot of you, get you involved in stuff we normally would try to keep you out of.” He shakes his head, knocks one of his boots against the other. “But you’re my last resort honey, you have to know that. I wouldn’t drag you into trouble if I thought I could help it. Honest.” His voice is so sincere, soft in a way it rarely is. I would have believed him anyways, but now there’s no doubt in my mind. I have to do right by Yellowstone, by the Dutton family, by my family. I have to stay, wade through the trouble, and bring everyone out on the other side.

“Tell me everything I need to know.” It comes out harder than I expected, harder than I’ve ever heard my own voice. It makes Mr. John look up. His features turn steely, matching mine. We’re in this together now.

“Walk with me, let me show you where you’ll be lodging. I’ll fill you in.”

Ten years of keeping clear of trouble down the drain, but I owed Mr. John, owed Yellowstone, a debt, and I wasn’t about to not repay it.

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To say that what Mr. John had shared with me was shocking would be an understatement. Land and cattle disputes I had expected, helping Jamie and Beth campaign - sure, I figured (well maybe not Beth), but murder? Can’t say that was anywhere on my radar, or anywhere in my wheelhouse. If I’m being honest with God and myself, if it weren’t for my love for Mr. John and the Dutton family, I would’ve turned the job down. Any PR specialist with a brain would because what the Duttons needed was a criminal defense lawyer, not some cowgirl who’s good at turning nasty scandals into marketable flattery. But I do love the Duttons, and I love Yellowstone, so from the looks of it, if this ship goes down, I’m going with it.

Mr. John must think it wise to give me time to mull over the absolute bomb he’s just dropped on me, because after he breaks the news and confirms that I’m still willing to stick around, he goes silent, his face settling into a contemplative furrow, the same as mine. It isn’t until the foreman’s house comes into view that I break the silence, slightly bewildered.

“We making a pit stop or something?” I gesture to the house in the distance, halting my gait.

Mr. John breezes past me, only turning his head back to answer my seemingly stupid question. “No darling, I’m showing you to your lodging, like I said I would.” Darling is reserved for when I’m being a moron, honey as a term of endearment, and cowgirl for when I’m about to get what’s coming to me. I’ve not even been back an hour and I’ve managed to collect two of the three, and I’m not too keen on collecting the third.

I wait until he looks away before rolling my eyes. That would’ve earned me a ‘cowgirl’ for sure. “Well, who died and made me foreman because I sure as hell don’t have the beard or buckle to pull it off.” I hustle to catch back up with him, bumping his shoulder against my own, knowing I’m toeing the line between a chuckle and a swat. Thankfully I’m gifted with the chuckle.

“You know I keep waiting for your beard to come in, but I remain disappointed.” He shoots me a wink. “But no, I don’t want you as my foreman as much as you don’t want to be my foreman. No worries there.” He side-eyes me. “Kayce’s taken over from Rip, so this is his place now. I just thought you’d want to be out here with your partner in crime rather than cooped up in the lodge with an old fart like me.” I know he’s aiming for casual as he explains my living situation to me, but if my many years spent living at Yellowstone had taught me anything, it was how to read John Dutton. And right now, I can tell he’s up to no good - more so than usual.

“Right, because living in that big snazzy house would be so terrible. I think you’re just trying to keep me and Beth apart. Too scared to live under the same roof with us both. Can’t say I blame you.” And while I really wouldn’t blame him for not wanting to live with me and Beth - if she’s a terror alone, with me she’s a terror and a half - I have a sneaking suspicion Beth and I’s potential reign of terror isn’t the true cause of his decision. But I sure as hell can’t let him know I’m onto him.

He chuckles again, in an almost relieved sort of way. “You’ve got me there. I’d rather keep my sanity, thank you kindly. So no, I quite frankly don’t want to live with you and Beth at the same time. And truly, I just thought you’d be more comfortable out here.” He sighs. “You’ll be wrapped up in our mess during all your waking hours, I don’t want to take away the little bit of peace you’ll get during your sleeping ones too.”

I frown. “Mr. John, I-” I begin to protest.

“No, I don’t want to hear it. You’re in the foreman’s and that’s final.” Mr. John’s swinging the door open now, and the house is everything I thought it would be growing up.

High ceilings reveal exposed wood, and the humble home is lined with windows, letting in ample natural light. In a way I feel like I haven’t left the outdoors at all, the house is simply an extension of the forest that looms behind it. As kids, one of the few places Kayce and I weren’t allowed to wreak havoc was the foreman’s house. Mr. John always berated us whenever we’d beg to go inside, saying, “A hard-working man deserves some privacy, some peace and quiet. You better leave him and his home well enough alone or I’ll skin both of your hides.” For once we listened, neither of us too keen on getting our butts busted.

“Plus, I imagine Kayce will be mighty happy to learn he’s got his best friend back. It always was ya’ll’s dream to set up camp in here. Now you get to live it.” His statement breaks me out of my reverie.

“I’m sorry, you ‘imagine’ Kayce will be happy? He doesn’t know I’m here?” And so the other shoe drops. Mr. John always did hold out hope that Kayce and I would end up together. Said we’d be a power couple. Combine my business sense and charming small talk with Kayce’s grit and knowledge of the ranch and we’d be unstoppable. Let’s just say he was never too shy about his meddling. And while I did have a small crush on Kayce growing up, and I’d like to think he had one on me too, we were always both too awkward to entertain anything other than a close friendship. Naturally, we experimented the way kids do, having had a drunk kiss or two and having done our fair share of skinny dipping, but by the time we were in our late teens all romantic feelings had fizzled. That doesn’t mean we weren’t closer than we’d ever been though, thicker than thieves and troublemakers to boot. We practically lived in each others’ pockets. You wouldn’t find one of us without the other. I was crazy about Kayce and he adored me, but it was never anything other than platonic.

“Mr. John, I can’t live here if Kayce doesn’t know about it. You said so yourself, the foreman’s house is his getaway, a place for peace and quiet. I’m not taking that from him.” Hands planted firmly on my hips and lips pursed, I shake my head adamantly. “I’ll find myself a place in town or-”

“Caroline, no, you’re staying-”

“Or I’ll see if my cousin Amy has a spare room, we were always close and-”

“Caroline.” His voice is firm, if not a little irritated. “I said no. Kayce needs you here, you hear me? You’re staying here and that’s final.” This last part is spoken a bit softer, but firmly all the same.

Now Mr. John might not be my real daddy, but I’ve spent my whole life obeying him all the same, and this time is no different, but that doesn’t mean I’m not going to plead my case. “Mr. John, I’ve missed Kayce too and I know he’s going through a lot right now, but he doesn’t need me.” I sigh. “And I couldn’t possibly put out his family. I mean, this place is small enough as it is. And Tate’s what, nearing eight now? He needs room to play and run around, I’ll only be taking up already limited space.” Giving a half-hearted shrug, I turn to head back toward the door, but Mr. John’s heavy sigh has me doubling back.

“Caroline honey, I wasn’t going to tell you this because I don’t feel like it’s my place, but when I say Kayce needs you I mean it. He and Monica split a few weeks ago, and with everything else going on he’s in real bad-”

Back turned to the door, I hear Kayce before I see him. “Dad, for the last time I’m not interested in meeting who you’ve got running for AG, so if you could kindly show her out I’d greatly-”

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I know I said Kayce and I had never been anything other than platonic, but you’d have to be blind not to see what a looker the boy is. God damn is he beautiful. I mean he always has been, but the years have been more than kind to him. Seeing him now damn near takes my breath away. The last time I laid eyes on Kayce he had just returned from the navy, eyes weary and hair cropped close. He had looked exhausted, almost dead in the eyes. Now though, he looks like a field set ablaze by the setting sun, all bright and aglow with something unnameable. Almost dangerous in his beauty. He must get over seeing me for the first time in five years before I get over seeing him because before it feels like I can even blink he’s across the room and I’m a foot off the ground, wrapped tight in his arms. I never knew I was missing part of myself until this very moment, with Kayce’s face pressed into the crook of my neck and my hand fisted in his hair. I swear I feel more settled in myself than I have in years, like I’m sinking into my bed after a long day, or eating a warm meal after I’ve spent all day working out in the cold.

“Caroline.” It’s a soft whisper in my ear. It almost sounds reverent, like a prayer.

“Kayce,” I murmur back, something private only he can hear.

I suppose he remembers we aren’t alone because before I know it my feet are planted firmly on the ground once more and I’m no longer wrapped in his embrace. Instead, he lets one gentle hand linger on the small of my back, almost hesitant and unnatural in its hovering. Grinning, he turns to Mr. John. “Dad what is-” his gaze shifts to find mine. “Caroline, what are you doing here?”

My lips part preparing to answer, but no sound comes out, just a whisper of an inhale followed by a beaming smile. I think it’s important to say once again that my feelings for Kayce are strictly platonic, but my God if a woman can’t get lost in his whiskey-brown eyes.

I’m broken out of my trance by an awkward cough. Both Kayce and I turn to face Mr. John, who looks a bit too pleased for my liking. Smiling wryly he drawls, “Well I think I’ll leave you two to catch up. Caroline, I’ll have one of the boys bring your truck up. No sense in you hauling yourself all around sundry.” Making his way outside, he pauses on the porch. “I expect to see both of ya’ll at supper. Don’t be late.” He saunters down the porch and down the path, not looking back when he hollers, “And Kayce, wash up! You smell like shit.”

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“So, you’re here to clean up the fucking mess I made then.” Kayce looks the most dejected I’ve seen him in years. Like a puppy dog that’s been kicked and put out in the cold. “Dad dragged you back to this godforsaken place because of me.” His fists shake where they’re clenched atop his knees. He tosses his hat onto the coffee table and rakes his hands through his sweat-dampened hair. “You know, I was so relieved when you got out of here. I was so scared this place would ruin everything good about you, set you up in flames like it does everything else.” His calloused hand clasps mine. “Why would you come back here? After everything that happened, after-” He takes a moment to collect himself, teeth gritted together, shoulders tensed. “After what Caleb- after what he did-”

“Kayce don’t.” I know what he’s trying to get at, and I won’t have it talked about. Not on my first day back. When I said I loved Yellowstone, that I was happy to be back, I meant it. But there are memories that this place carries that I’d rather forget, and I’m not about to let my reunion with my best friend turn sinister over one of those memories - over the mention of some asshole cowboy that belongs to the past. I want that memory to die with him. Placing a comforting hand on his back, I try to console him. “I’m a big girl. Believe it or not, I’ve grown into my britches and I know what I can handle. Plus,” I give his back a hard pat, “you really think I would let this place ruin me? I’d like to see it try.”

“Caroline..” He shakes his head, eyes glassy. “You-”

I cut him off with a quick rap of my knuckles against the coffee table, rising off the couch with an air of finality. “As for why I came back, well that’s simple. I love you Kace.” I lick my chapped lips, find a spot on the wall to focus on. “And I’m- I’m never going to abandon you when you need me.” I extend my pinky in the form of a promise, a relic left over from our childhood. “Come hell or high water remember?”

He straightens up, gaze ungluing itself from the floor only to meet mine. Kayce was always taller than me, but I don’t remember having to crane my neck up to meet his eyes the way I do now. His pinky wrapping around mine is a distant sensation in the back of my mind. “Come hell or high water.” He steps back, scratching his temple awkwardly. From a man to a boy with one simple gesture. “Uh, there’s only one bathroom so we’ll have to take turns. I don’t know if you need to shower, but you can go first, everything you need is in there, but I mean- you probably brought your own stuff so never mind.” He mutters below his breath, “God Kace,” and picks invisible lint off his shirt.

I laugh, bright and airy. Growing up Kayce was known for his ruthless pranks, and when I wasn’t his accomplice I was his primary victim. So to miss such a golden and rare opportunity to make fun of him would be a crime, his emotional turmoil aside. “No need to take turns bud, I don’t need to shower. Just got to freshen up a bit, throw on some makeup, brush my hair.” I start a slow saunter down the hall, sporting a feline grin. Kayce follows close behind- my shadow. Turning to walk backward, I poke him sharp in the chest. “How about you, Manure Man, hop in the shower while I do my makeup. We can keep each other company, catch up on each other's lives.” My back hits what I assume to be the bathroom door. I sigh. “After all, we don’t want to keep your daddy waiting. I for one don’t want a smack upside the head and I reckon you don’t either.” Angling my body so it faces the door, I reach for the nob and look at Kayce imploringly, my eyebrows raised, daring him to chicken out.

He suppresses a grin, tongue poking at his cheek. “Now you know that’s not exactly proper and I know that you’re trying to embarrass me, so you can go ahead and drop the act Miss Caroline.” Calling me on my shit, he leans into the door frame, his arms boxing me in on both sides.

Of course he knows I’m trying to embarrass him, anybody with eyes could see that. What he hasn’t caught onto is that I’m appealing to his competitive nature. If I keep poking at him long enough, there’s no way he won’t cave. If I know Kayce, he’ll take being excruciatingly embarrassed over losing against me any day. “Not proper? Sweetheart, I’ve seen you in your birthday suit more times than I care to think about, I don’t think standing in the same room as you while you shower will be the thing that sends me to hell.” I duck under his arm, grab my makeup bag from where I’d left it in the living room, and duck back under, swinging the bathroom door open as I go. Throwing my hair into a ponytail, I lock eyes with him in the mirror. His skin is flushed pink all the way down to his chest and he gnaws at his lip. Like I said, from a man to a boy with one small gesture. “Unless you’re too much of a chicken.” I shrug. “Then I guess we can take turns.” I aim for nonchalant, fingers crossed that he’s not catching on to my instigating.

Kayce’s eyes immediately narrow. Good, he’s taken the bait. “I know you’re not calling me a chicken.” His arms drop and he closes the door behind him.

Snickering, I breathe, “I’d only call you a chicken if you were acting like one, so tell me Kayce - are you being a chicken?”

He turns the shower on in lieu of an answer, eyes never leaving mine in the mirror. “I wouldn’t even know what a chicken acts like Caroline, having never been one, so no I don’t reckon I am.” At this, he flings his shirt off, and I hear his belt buckle clink shortly after, and then a thud as his pants hit the floor. The only thing that remains are his underwear and I hold his gaze steady, daring him to lose our little game. I can’t hear his underwear hit the floor, but I see the hunch his shoulders form as he bends to take them off. When he stands back up straight, he must see the devious gleam in my eye because he drawls out a suspicious, “What?”

“Nothing.” I shake my head, pressing my lips together. I fiddle with the hem of my blouse. It’s a frilly white thing with thin straps and a gathered waist. One of my favorites truly. Too pretty to risk getting makeup on. I pull the shirt gingerly over my head, not worried about appearing sexy, knowing my plain bra isn’t much to look at. I begin to sort out my makeup, lining products up along the counter. “I was just thinking about how I don’t want to get makeup on my blouse. That’s all.”

The rustle of the shower curtain opening and closing is Kayce’s only reply. Check and mate Dutton.

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Despite my reasoning for us sharing, Kayce and I don’t catch up with each other in the bathroom, in fact, he doesn’t speak a word to me until I’ve completed my makeup and he’s finished his shower.

Brushing my hair slowly and methodically, lost in my own thoughts, I almost miss the sound of the shower turning off and the rasp of the curtain as Kayce steps out. He’s wrapped in a comically large towel, but his hair still drips steadily onto the bathmat, saturated with water. The embarrassment has leached from his face and his downtrodden expression from earlier has returned. “So dad told you about me and Monica?” He perches on the closed toilet, sagging into himself, sniffs. “Old bastard.”

“What makes you think that?” Laying my hairbrush down, I turn to prop my hip against the counter and cross my arms, face as neutral as I can make it.

Kayce looks at me from under long, damp lashes, his jaw set. “Caroline, we’ve pushed a boundary or two in our decades of friendship, but I know that if you thought for one second that you’d be stepping on any toes or be disrespecting my marriage in any way, you wouldn’t have started whatever all of this,” he gestures around the bathroom, “little game was. So what did he tell you?” His hands are shaking again, but rather than clenched shut, this time they lay open, palms up, almost pleading.

“Kayce.” I kneel down, encasing one of his weathered hands with both of mine. “All he told me was that you and Monica had split not too long ago, nothing more. And he didn’t even really want to tell me that, I kind of forced his hand. I promise you.” I stand back up and ruffle his still-damp hair, trying to bring some levity back to the situation. “Although I really don’t understand all the secrecy bud, you had to hear all about my messy divorce- and over facetime of all ways. I’m not- I would never judge you Kace.”

Rising to his full height, Kayce fidgets with one of my belt loops. “I know you’d never judge me, Caroline, it’s not your judgment I’m worried about.”

“Then what are you worried about,” I murmur.

“Oh Kayce, you really think-,” I laugh, “I just gave you shit in the most ridiculous way, knowing well and good you’ve been put through the wringer, and you think I would treat you like some wounded thing.” I bend down to retrieve my shirt, toss it onto the counter behind me. “I realize I have a bad habit of babying you, and I don’t plan to stop any time soon, but if you think for one second that I won’t give you hell any and every time you need it, well then you’re mistaken sweetheart.” Propping his hands on his hips, Kayce looks down, kicks his bare foot against my booted one.

“Now, nobody said anything about me wanting you to stop babying me.” He grins shyly at me. “Every good cowboy needs a pretty lady to soften him up a bit, ya know.”

I feel my breath hitch as his fingers wrap loosely around mine, I’m suddenly hyper-aware of the damp towel that seems to slide lower down his hips by the second. Have I mentioned how beautiful this man is? Have time and space away from him turned my brain into scrambled eggs? Why in the hell do I feel a flush creeping down my neck? Dear God, and I have to live with this man.

I smack his chest, like any sane woman who suddenly finds herself attracted to her best friend would do, and try to hide my nerves behind a too-loud laugh. “Well as long as you don’t expect this pretty lady to harden you up too, I think I can manage that.” Slipping my hand out of his hold, I grab my blouse and make to leave, but not before I catch sight of the scarlet blush that paints his face and ears. One foot in the hallway, I call back, “Now hurry up and get dressed cowboy, wouldn’t want to keep daddy waiting.” Closing the door all I hear is a muttered, “Jesus,” in response.

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I wait out on the porch while Kayce gets ready, slouched down on one of the steps, elbows resting on my knees. The absolute quiet that surrounds me, save for the chirp of a bird or the rustle of leaves as the breeze blows, feels like a balm on my soul. I’d forgotten what it was like to feel this way. Content, at peace, like the whole world could be falling down around me but I’d still be alright, because this place, this land, will cradle me, protect me, like a momma does for her baby. I spent so long, years of my young life, running from one thing or another. Running into the arms of the wrong people, the wrong places. Yellowstone wasn’t the only place I found trouble, and while I was able to make a name for myself, to come out on top, the years I spent fighting for myself, fighting myself, have taken a toll on me. Never really thought the ranch would be my respite, but fighting for the Duttons feels like a goddamn breath of fresh air compared to what I’ve had to claw my way through in the last decade. This is my home, trouble or not.

The door creaks open, then shut, and I crane my head back to greet Kayce. “Took ya long enough, beauty queen.”

Unphased Kayce shoves his hands into his pockets. “Your face looks goofy upside down. And I can see into your nose.” He swaggers past me, down the steps, and onto the path. “Might want to invest in a nose trimmer.. beauty queen.” Fantastic. We’re back in familiar territory. No more warm damp skin, or slouchy towels, and thank god no more tugging at my belt loops or crowding me against the counter.. abs on display, broad shoulders at eye level… Yeah no, childish insults are great! Much more comfortable, way less confusing. I’m more than happy to engage in some lighthearted bullying with my completely platonic, non-romantic, best friend.

I must take too long to respond because Kayce doubles back, coming to stand at the base of the stairs below my feet. Looking at me funny, eyebrows scrunched and lips upturned, he asks, “You good? Wasn’t even that good of a burn to be honest. You’ve taken worse.” Actual concern begins to creep into his features, so before he can get himself worked up into a spiral of guilt I hop up from the stairs, dust off my backside, and punch him square in the gut.

“Oh don’t you worry ‘bout me, I’m fine. I was actually just thinking that I probably should buy a trimmer, keep things ship shape. And you know,” I glance back at him deviously, “now that we’re living together, there’s bound to be quite a few spa nights in your future. I could use it on you as well, really get my money’s worth.” As he falls in step with me, I expect him to protest immediately. When we were kids, I asked to pretty him up practically every day, told him I did boy activities with him so it was only fair he did girly things with me. In all our years of friendship he only caved once, the night I got my first period, told me I shouldn’t have to become a woman alone. He let me put a full face of makeup on him, paint his nails, and even braid his hair. No complaints, no making fun, just supported me in the only way he knew how.

So he surprises me when he inquires, “What exactly would a spa night include? Like what are we talking here? Fancy robes, overpriced lotion, cucumbers on our eyes?” His face is entirely serious, sincere in its curiosity. Man, it's easy to forget how much growing up changes a person.. how much marriage changes a person.

I stutter. “I- I mean, it can really include whatever you want it to? I normally take a bubble bath, shave my whole body- not that you’d want to do that, and then I go ham with some lotion, put on a face mask and hair mask, maybe whiten my teeth or trim my nails. Just depends.” I shrug. Kayce and I have talked about everything under the sun, but I never thought in a million years we’d be discussing my self-care routine.

He looks at me, eyebrows furrowed, contemplating. He kicks at the dirt a bit, tips his head to either side and then with an unexpected air of finality says, “Okay. I think I’d like to try all of that. I’ve never done masks or whitened my teeth before.” He stops, looking suddenly reluctant. “Wait, none of this hurts right? Like it’s relaxing?”

I place my hand on his back, half to prompt him to keep walking, half to comfort him. An easy laugh escapes me. “No, none of it hurts. And it is very relaxing, especially when you have a good bottle of wine on hand.” I wink, trying still to reassure him.

Worries assuaged, he winks back. “Well if there’s good wine involved, I’m in. Do you have the stuff with you already? Could we do it tonight?”

This time I stop in my tracks. If I was shocked before, now I’m flabbergasted. “You really want to do all that tonight?” He starts to look self-conscious so I clarify myself. “I mean, I’m more than happy to host a spa night, don’t get me wrong, but I just figured you’d need to warm up to the idea.”

Kayce walks a half step in front of me, avoids making eye contact. “In all honesty, tomorrow’s going to be a rough day. I don’t know if dad told you, but we’ve got to negotiate with the rez, the governor, and the sheriff tomorrow. Try to find some way to sweep everything under the rug, not let my fuck-ups tarnish the ranch’s reputation.” He removes his hat, runs his hand haphazardly through his hair. I know he asked me not to treat him like some wounded thing, and I won’t, but boy does he look it. “So, yeah, I just need something to take my mind off of the impending shitstorm I’m about to deal with. And I know you’re dying to gussy me up.” He flashes me a smile. “And if you’re happy, I’m happy, so a spa night it is.”

I sigh, feeling out of my depth. In all our years of friendship, I so rarely had to be the strong one. That was always Kayce. And while I’ve certainly toughened up in the time we’ve spent apart, I still feel so unprepared to tackle all of this. I’m scared I’ll say the wrong thing, do the wrong thing, misstep in an unfixable way. More than anything, I’m scared I’ll let Kayce down. “Your uh- Mr. John did tell me all that actually, but I hadn’t thought about how emotionally draining it’ll be. A spa night sounds good Kace. And we can even put on a horror movie, even it out.” I shrug, still feeling out of my depth.

Kayce doesn’t reply, but he does show me the barest hint of a smile, just the slight upturn of the corners of his lips. His smile says, “we’ll make it through this, we have to.”

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