#i'm still intimidated by you a little because TALENT
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mariasont · 5 months ago
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hiii! I read your last spencer one shot AND I LOVED IT! IT WAS SO SWEET AND YOU'RE SO TALENTED!! Would you write something about post prison reid and shy reader? I was thinking of her as the media liaison (in my mind she is old-fashioned in music and clothes I'd wear skirts everyday, her emotional intelligence makes her good at her job, despite her shyness). Maybe she's clumsy, especially when she gets nervous and more especially (I don't even know if that's grammatically correct) when she's around Spencer.
Thank you so much for reading this, you're doing an EXCELLENT job, your works are a masterpiece!! 💕💖💝💓💓💖💞💕💖💓
Make a Wish - S.R
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a/n: eekkkkkk post-prison spencer reid has me in a CHOKEHOLD! thank you so much for requesting, i'm so sorry for the delay! i hope i did your request justice!! I LOVE LOVE YOU!
masterlist
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pairings: post prison!spencer reid x shy!reader
wc: 0.9k
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You had been meaning to give the reports fastened in your hands to Spencer for give-or-take two hours now. Each time you gathered the courage to approach him, just one glance, one simple stupid glance from those piercing eyes set your nerves on fire and sent your brain in overdrive.
As the new media liaison from the narcotics unit, you were warned about the BAU's intimidating figures, particularly Rossi and Emily. However, no warning came regarding Spencer Reid. They mentioned his tendencies for long-winded explanations and awkward social interactions but not the aura of intensity he exuded. Whenever he entered a room, you instinctively started looking for an exit, not because of his criminal record, but because you found yourself hopelessly mesmerized by him.
He was perfect in every sense of the word—brilliant, compassionate, selfless, and an exceptional agent. At least, this is what you had observed from afar. A part of you was scared that any real interaction with him would shatter the idyllic image you had crafted in your head, and you weren't confident you were prepared for such disillusionment. However, you needed to give him these damn papers, dreading the alternative, which was getting summoned to Emily's office.
"Hi."
You did it, okay, first step complete. You opened your mouth, determined to get out the next part you had practiced a little over twenty times in your head, but the words seemed to dissipate into a misty fog in your brain.
"Um, these are for you," you said, rocking back onto the balls of your mary janes, placing the report on his desk. "It's the Henderson lie detector test transcript?"
"Is it?"
You realized you had said it like a question.
You paused, the part of your brain stuttering for a second, trying to flip over the thousands of scenarios you had rehearsed in your head for this interaction. None of them had included those words.
Just a little off script and you felt your fight or flight kick in—nails digging into your palms as you avoided eye contact.
"Yes." A little more confident this time, not by much, and it quickly deflated as you second guessed yourself, stepping closer to peer over his shoulder at the document. "At least I think."
"I'm just messing with you, it is." He said, eyes flickering down to the document, then to you. "You okay?"
"M-Me? Okay? Yeah, of course." The words were stumbling out of your mouth at a rate that was hard to keep up with. "Do I not look okay?"
"No, of course you look okay," he responded, brows knitting together as his gaze traveled down your body, no doubt dissecting your every thought. "You just seem... a bit nervous."
You opened your mouth, aiming to articulate a coherent thought, but it fell short and was quickly interrupted by Spencer.
He suddenly leaned in, his eyes narrowing. "Wait, hold still; you have an eyelash."
He was so close, you swore you feel his breath on your cheeks, instantly warming them. Your body was in overdrive, trying to recalibrate as his finger grazed the area under your right eye. You closed your eyes, almost unwillingly, relishing in the unexpected touch.
This was weird. Every nerve in your body was on high alert, and you balled your hand into a fist, attempting to mask the way you were shaking.
The sound of your name snapped you out of your daze. Your eyes followed suit, meeting Spencer's prying eyes. His finger was raised, your eyelash perched on the tip. Your face could have been a furnace, flames of heat spreading from your neck to your nose.
"Do you want to make a wish?"
He looked at you expectantly, eyes darting from your face to his raised pointer finger.
"Okay."
You closed your eyes, forming the wish in your mind before blowing on the lash. You watched it float to the ground, settling gently on the toe of Spencer's shoe. 
"What did you wish for?"
"I feel like I'm not supposed to tell you that," you say, pulling at the ends of your hair.
He was undeniably good-looking. It wasn't like you were just realizing it; you had eyes and you were only human. But up close, you could see every detail—the dark circles under his eyes, the rough stubble under his jaw.
"I think you're right."
The sudden intimacy of the moment made your heart skip a beat. You stepped back, nodding at his words and also nothing in particular.
"Anyway, yeah, those are the papers—," you began, turning to walk away. As you did, you bumped your hip into the desk beside you, hissing under your breath in response.
"Christ, are you okay?" His hand was on your hip as the words came out of his mouth.
The touch only seemed to intensify your embarrassment. You stepped out of his grip, dropping your phone as you did which you quickly bent down to pick up.
"Sorry, yeah, I'm fine, just forgot I have a meeting with Emily, so I'm just gonna—," you pointed towards her office, quickly making your escape from Spencer as you tried to catch your breath.
Once you were a distance you deemed safe enough, you allowed yourself a quick glance back at him. He was smirking, and you felt that all familiar heat rising into your chest once again.
You really hoped that wish would kick in soon.
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natewriteslol · 7 months ago
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housewardens with a reader who, despite being magicless, she is very good at robotics and after a few months she can create a robot that can use elements in combat too?
Reader is gender neutral!
Riddle:
-He honestly was highly impressed that you found a solution since you're magicless and the redhead wondered if you could possibly combine both magic and your inventions
-A little bit wary of another tech genius because of the incidents surrounding Idia but he quickly corrects himself because he shouldn't make assumptions just on the basis you two share a talent
-After seeing your inventions perform in battle he is giving you all of your kudos (and is a lil intimidated) and often tells others about your endeavors regarding your gadgets if your name pops in the conversation
-As for your robot, as much as he doesn't exactly hate it BUT is a little bit scared however M.O.R.T.O.N (Mobile Object-Oriented Technological Operator Network) has done so many useful things that he couldn't help but let him live in peace and not chew you out but please make sure you control M.O.R.T.O.N and you will have no problems
-Overall, thinks you're really cool and admires you because you are stellar at something he has no clue about :)
Leona:
-Polar opposite of Riddle and shamelessly assumes you would be like Idia because he is not at all messing around and assuming that you're harmless
-Especially after seeing how your gadgets were able to perform against magic users, he is very wary of you openly and asks Ruggie to keep an eye on you
-And I'm not gonna lie to you Y/N... once seeing M.O.R.T.O.N... he is not pleased whatsoever because he is enormous AND can control elements...you're done because that isn't something to joke with
-But eventually, he warms up to you? Kinda? Warm is more like lukewarm since he sees how you and Idia are absolutely not like one another and that you genuinely want to help others with your assets. Especially since your little doohickeys have gotten him out of a pickle or two
-Lowkey defends if you're getting flack for your hobby and is more open to robotics now
Azul:
-Another person who is wary about your contraptions because of Idia, he is NOT trying to get kidnapped and experimented on again
-However, he sees your technological prowess and begins to start cooking (never let him cook pls)
-Azul could absolutely use your tech as a way to benefit himself and his business from cooking, serving, managing and it would cut costs in half! All he had to do was to get them from you after all there was no way you would notice since you had an abundance of different gismos
-You did notice.
-So you sent M.O.R.T.O.N after the Monstro Lounge to retrieve your gadgets, which in return you got a bouquet and apology which you decided to forgive since Azul felt genuinely sorry for disrespecting you
-Which allowed you to come to a compromise of giving gadgets safe for Azul to use and a cash payment to you
Kalim:
-Number one fan honestly
-He sees virtually no problem because you're such a nice person and all of your gadgets have been helpful on their adventures and although Kalim is airheaded, he still understands people's concerns
-But he always defends you and tries to reason with them especially because M.O.R.T.O.N has done so much to defend the school which includes the haters of your inventions
-Secretly also tries to play with M.O.R.T.O.N and talk to him despite you telling him that he's not going to respond but the white haired boy SWEARS on the Great Seven the robot understands him
Vil:
-Again, another person who is wary because of the whole Idia situation (I'm sorry Y/N 😞)
-But be warms up to your helpful and kind nature quickly and realizes that you're just trying to be innovative rather than a menace to society and wanting to take over the Earth :)
-Especially when you use your sweet little bots to deliver him some gifts and other things, he finds it very endearing
-As for M.O.R.T.O.N he is both impressed and a bit spooked BUT he thinks that it's super cool that you're able to be so powerful as a non-magic user! Adapting to ones environment is one of the things Vil finds extremely admirable and a skill those who want to succeed need to possess
Idia:
-...secretly a little bit obsessed with you guys share the same hobbies because he has never met someone who is just as invested in robotics as him
-He mainly admires you from afar however that does not last for long as it was only a matter of time before you met the infamous Idia who kinda gave robot mechanics a bad rep on campus
-But genuinely you were so amazing and nice to him and even decided to ask for his advice on certain areas and he was really happy
-Eventually once you guys become close enough Idia would open up about how he was a bit intimidated by you and striking up a conversation, but your guys' shared interest really allows you to connect and open his shell a bit
-Absurdly impressed with M.O.R.T.O.N as he had always thought of the concept but never created a robot that could control elements
-You guys eventually team up to create robots that make campus life a bit easier, making you a bit of money and you two become better friends and repair some damages from...previous incidents involving robots that won't be named
Malleus:
-Doesn't really care about the judgement from other people and is a major influence into people not projecting what happened with Idia
-"The Child of Man is their own seperate person, if we judged every person who has a slight similarity to another, there would be no progress nor acceptance in this world."
-Finds your hobbies very fascinating and intently listens about your inventions from your homeworld "Earth" and how they connect to your inventions present in their universe
-A big fan of M.O.R.T.O.N and he is extremely proud of his friends' talent that could rival magic users
-Is always lending an ear to listen to your latest breakthrough or gizmo you have cooking up :)
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yestrday · 9 months ago
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: ̗̀➛ ALL OR NOTHING. yan! aventurine / gn! reader
it's a nice feeling to finally be on the winning side, feigning fairness when all the winning cards are in his hand. but it's not like you can fault him for cheating. after all, you who has nothing chose to challenge him, the one who will gain everything.
( overarching theme of sl4very, anim4l cruelty, anim4l death, bl00d, graphic description of violence, hinted obsessive behavior, im unoriginal and stole kafkas spirit whisper for reader ) + 7.5k words
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"It's just a bet," he suggests, as if this gamble won't cost you your everything. "Juuust a bet. Exactly what are you so scared of?"
He sits laid back in his plush velvet chair, twirling a cocktail as he enjoys the finest luxuries in life. He is clad head to toe in the finest clothing, dressed like a peacock waiting to impress. You, on the other hand, feel more like the peahen— dreadfully drab in your rags and no choice but to watch as the peacock flaunts his feathers. You are knelt on the ground, but your eyes show no submission.
"I'm not crazy, gambler," you bite. "I know the IPC. They are full of shit. And you, Aventurine." Your eyes set on him with hatred. "You're the smelliest of the lot."
Aventurine, the gem of lies and luck, sighs dramatically. "Pup, you know I don't like it when you're so vulgar, y'know? I'm giving you a chance at freedom, so you ought to at least treat me at least a little bit nicer. I'm not the one who shackled you, so I don't understand what the aggression is all about."
"You're the reason why I'm here in the first place!"
"No, Jade was." He presses a finger to your lip and you'd bite it if it weren't for the annoying bind you were under. "Jade came across you and thought you and your talent would make for a nice gift. You were a gift and I'm just the receiver. So don't go barking up the wrong tree, pup."
"So." He leans back into his couch and shoots you a sly grin. "Up for round one?"
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You are lost.
The meaning of Paths and their symbolisms are lost on you. You don't care for Aeons— no one on your home planet was. You were busy diving in dumpsters for a scrape of food, tricking your 'friends' into sacrificing themselves for you, and killing whatever was left of your humanity just to make it to another day. You walk on no Path but yours.
You don't even know which way you're going. So you are lost.
You think Aventurine is lost too.
He has every detail of his facade practiced. His gait is relaxed enough to not be intimidating, but not sloppy enough to be called out as bad posture. He talks in a smooth voice that eases fools and makes enemies wary, his smile is charming to sway the opponent into another gamble, his hair is fixed to frame his pretty face, and he chooses words that cannot be turned into loopholes. He is Aventurine. But he is not himself.
He does not care for the Preservation, but he rejects the Elation. He is on his own Path too, but he knows the destination he must reach— his 'End'. In that way, he is different from you, because you know not your journey or your ending. Still, he is just as lost as you.
But he makes a darn good show of not seeming that way. Right now, you watch as he throws the dice on the table, and the whole table watches with bated breath as they turn. A six and one— he lost the bet to the other's six and five. They cackle gleefully as they collect their earnings from Aventurine. They have chips upon chips on their side of the table while Aventurine's winnings are cut in half.
"I think I'll call it a day, pretty boy," the gambler cackles, greedily eyeing his earnings and possibly dreaming about the cash he's made tonight. "Even a gambler knows when to call quits, right?"
Aventurine pouts. "Aww, so soon? C'mon, the night's only begun! Who knows, play another round and you might just end up with more money than you have right now~"
The man laughs again, obviously not fooled by his pity act. "Boy, I'm not as addicted as you are. I know when to stop instead of letting you bleed me out dry." But Aventurine isn't fazed; rather, he snaps his fingers and you lower your head as you step to his side.
"Well, we can't have that, can we? [Y. Name], be a dear and persuade this gentleman into another round with me."
A glow of your eyes. Then you fix the man with an eerie gaze as you say, bright and clear, "Hey, you: Play another round with my master."
As if in a daze, the man's eyes cloud over and sit right back. Another round later Aventurine wins all his losses back and more, leaving the other gambler's side naked and bare of chips. The man is barely out of his stupor when he realizes what just happened— that he's fallen for a trick and now he's ended up with no money to even cover his lodgings— but you and Aventurine have sauntered out of the casino doors by the time he's begun cussing you out.
"Ha! That was fun." Aventurine shrugs off his jacket now that you're in the car and raises an empty champagne glass to you. "You're a good partner, [Y. Name]. Honestly, that Spirit Whisper of yours is such a nice trick. Just like that Stellaron Hunter, right?"
"... Kafka?"
"Yes, her. Enigmatic woman, isn't she? A bit ironic how those with such a powerful ability ended up as slaves. Her as Destiny's, and you as... mine." He gives your collar a little tug and you growl in warning, but you inch closer to him anyway. "So. Gambling. You up for that round?"
You scoff and grin at him with all teeth and no mirth. "You really think that a Cornerstone would bet on their slave's freedom?" Aventurine's own grin grows wider. "C'mon. Even Pteruges-V has better lies than you."
"Ah, right, your homeworld. No wonder you're so brazen all the time, even to your superiors. I forget that fear is a foreign concept to you people. Still," he raises your chin with a finger. "If you're so fearless, why not bet on a gamble? It's not like you're scared."
"There may be fools from my planet that you can trick with that taunt, peacock, but I'm not one of them. I'm fearless, not stupid. And with the way you're so eager to involve me in this bet, I'm beginning to suspect that you need this more than I do." You push him away. "So, no, master, I won't indulge you. I'll bide my time and look for an escape. Just like I've always had."
"And what?" He looks at you from behind his sunglasses. "Will you kill me to gain that freedom?"
You flash him a sharp grin, now amused. "Of course you'd think that, master."
The smile on his face is wiped clean. You really are a brazen thing, you.
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Jade has always mentioned how soft Aventurine is on you. A dog of your attitude should merit a little more disciplinary action and even the good Doctor has told him this once or twice after seeing your arrogance despite the collar around your neck. "Your dog bites more than it deserves," Ratio scoffed while you made an action of biting him behind Aventurine. He frowned in displeasure. "You ought to make it learn a lesson or two."
"Now, now, doctor," Aventurine had laughed. "Not everyone shares the same sadistic tendencies as you." An image of you collared and shaking on your knees flashes through his mind, and he finds himself gulping. Ratio looks at him like he doesn't believe him.
It's not like he hasn't thought of it, of chaining you to the wall and starving you so that you learn that your attitude has its consequences. You shouldn't bite the hand that feeds you, not when he's been so good to you. But that... that was exactly the line of thought his old master had. That wicked man who put a brand on him and sullied his hands with his wretched man... he couldn't risk turning into a monster like... that.
Aventurine is weak. Unable to let go of past sentiments and memories, he makes it up with his grand display of bravado and high-stakes gambles. He gambles even as he spoils you, laughing at your audacity and even rewarding you for it sometimes, not knowing whether you'll leave him or if you'll stay with him. It is a gamble indeed, but you were worth every risk.
"What do you think of me, [Y. Name]?" The cityscape beyond the window is glowing with Pier Point's nightlife, and his suite provides him a good view of the world beneath him. He glances back at you, stirring his coffee for him. "Your dear master Aventurine. What do you think of me?"
"Annoying, stupid, a fool, an addict, and pathetic." You don't hesitate to badmouth your master. "You lie too well, you think that luck of yours will never run out, and you try to be someone that you can't."
"And who is that someone?"
Your eyes flash. "Someone strong. Someone confident. Someone who isn't afraid to admit his weaknesses and hope that things get better."
"I didn't peg you for an optimist, dear pet."
"Hmph. That's not optimism. I may not know what exactly fear is, but I know that what is holding you back isn't it. You do not fear things, gambler. You stake it all and bet on something so intangible as luck. That can't be fear."
"Then what is it?"
The stare you give him sets his heart off, looking straight into his eyes and giving a grin so devilish and knowing like that facade of his never mattered in the first place.
"You're a coward. A plain, old coward. Nothing more, nothing less."
That conversation had always popped up in his head in the most inconvenient of moments, especially when he was about to get some sleep. His heart beat faster every time he recalled that knowing gaze of yours, invading where he didn't want the world to see and baring his soul right before your very eyes. His facade doesn't work on you.
He could care less. You were the one person he didn't want it to work on, though he'd never admit that out loud.
This meeting with the other Ten Cornerstones could not interest him any less, and it seemed to be that way for the others too. Jade is saying something on behalf of Diamond, again, and everyone is busy doing their own thing. Only Topaz seems to be the one paying at least some attention, and even then she gets distracted by Numby from time to time. Aventurine glances at the clock.
He wonders how his pup is faring while he's away. Ecstatic, perhaps.
"— All evidence leads to an underground network that is scattered among numerous planets, though thankfully all of them are within the same galaxy. I'll be forwarding an email to you all with a detailed report on each of these. Just know that most of us will be likely deported to these countries to break up the—" In the middle of Jade's tiresome monologue, the security alarms start to blare and two officers slam through the doors with looks of urgency. One of them scans the room until his eyes land on Aventurine, and they quickly approach him.
"Sir!" They say, desperate and alarmed. "Your do— I mean, slave! They've– They've escaped!"
Surprise streaks across the faces of the Ten Cornerstones, even Aventurine's. He collects himself when he catches Jade's knowing smile and chuckles to himself.
"Well, I guess this is the master's consequence for not disciplining their pet."
Did he really think you were fucking stupid? Taking on a bet for your freedom... what a bunch of bullshit. He can proclaim about how much he loves a fair gamble, but you know that's only reserved for the people around the table. You are his slave, the one he demeaningly calls 'pet'— you don't have the chance to make your own dealings.
"Halt! In the name of Qlipoth, you better stop while we're giving you a chance." These IPC henchmen were slowpokes, the lot of them. You weave in and between salary workers, crashing trolleys full of wares and coffees and hopping between levels just to shake them off their tracks. By golly, they might be incompetent but Aeons damned they were nothing but persistent.
"Ha, the Devil Hunters were more annoying than them," you mutter to yourself, skidding around the corner only to come face-to-face with two IPC henchmen. They raise their polearms to strike, but with a chilling grin stretched across your face, you say: "Hey, you: Jump."
You don't look back to see whether they made the seven-floor drop.
This reminds you of the nights you spent back in Pteruges-V: making fools out of the prissy rich, jumping across buildings to shake of the Hunters, and using whatever you had to make things go your way. Not everyone had Spirit Whisper, but those who had made good use of it and you sure as hell wouldn't miss a single chance to use it.
Your mind runs with plans as you continue to run away. Maybe you'll find a nice ship to stow away on, hopefully, one that leads to a nice planet that isn't so stuffy and rigid. Maybe like Homberto-σ, out of sight from the IPC and where everyone minded their own business.
For what felt like forever trying to shake your followers off, you finally came to a stop when you realized that only the sound of your footsteps could be heard in this labyrinth of hallways and corridors. Finally having shaken them off, you sigh as you climb up the stairs to the rooftop. 'Just jump down and sneak off to the nearest hiding place you can find.' You tug at your collar and scowl. 'When I escape, not even this collar will matter anymore. Not when I'm somewhere they won't reach me.'
You've escaped so many life-or-death situations before. Escaping slavery is no different.
"Slave [Y.Name], subordinate of Cornerstone Aventurine, you are surrounded!" A voice blares through a megaphone the moment you step onto the roof deck. You hiss as multiple glaring lights settle on you, shielding your face from them and the helicopters' onslaught of wind. "Surrender now before we are forced to take extreme measures."
Through the gaps of your fingers, you can barely make out the men in black pointing their guns at your head, the red hot of the laser making you a point-blank target. You click your tongue. Those bastards tricked you into thinking you were safe. Fuck. You couldn't even be mad. This was all on you.
"Oh, little pup. I guess I really should have listened to them when they told me to discipline you." Aventurine's seedy voice sighs behind you, smirking as he nonchalantly strides up to you. "Did you really have to do all this instead of taking the bet? Do you really hate the thought of playing with me, hm?"
"Fuck off."
"No can do, little one, you know how much I'm obsessed with you, right?" He chuckles, catching your chin between his thumb and index and forcing you to look into his eyes. Those Sigonian eyes are covered by the cloudy purple of his glasses, but even you can tell just how much he's enjoying this mess you've put yourself in. "You know I don't have a need for your skill. I could easily persuade anyone without trying, but I still let you stick around. Pup, I can't just back away from you when you know how much I want you."
You smile darkly. "That's cuz you're a sicko who likes tugging on the chain instead of being in it."
Those pretty eyes of his darken for a moment, embittered by the snarky comment at his past, before his hands trail down to your collar, hooking it with a finger and pulling on it. "Dear, while I usually have the patience for your tirades, I'd rather not do it today. You've humiliated me enough in front of the entire Corporation. So—" Pulling once again on your collar, he starts to lead you to the door. "— Let us depart without much hassle, okay?"
Humiliation sears your nerves like a hot metal, a warning growl eliciting from your mouth as he continues to tug you away from the rooftop. Close, you were so fucking close. Here you are breathing in the fresh night wind, a jump away from freedom, but then these IPC idiots all had you fooled. You don't care how many bullets will embed themselves into your skin, all you just needed to do was get away from this grip Aventurine has on you.
You grab the wrist pulling on you, yanking him towards you. His eyes widen before narrowing again, as if not believing that you still had the energy to fight like you don't have red laser points on your forehead. "[Y. Na—"
"Hey, you: S—"
You couldn't even get another syllable out. Your collar beats a few pulses before it starts squeezing your neck, crushing your windpipes and forcing you down on your knees as you choke on your blood. It sears hot around your neck and you collapse writhing on the ground as you sob and gurgle on your screams and congealed blood.
'WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY ME—' You can only curse and scream inside your head as you painfully thrash on the cement. '— A BILLION BASTARDS IN THE WORLD AND IT HAD TO BE FUCKING ME.'
Darkness is pushing in on you and the pain is making it too hard to go on, but you've always been a fighter. Even if you think that your squirming is pathetic and futile to the onlookers, you continue to tug and pull on the collar like you have a chance. Your ears are ringing and your eyes are too fucking blurry to see with, but the fight doesn't die down.
Aventurine places a soft palm on your hair. Even through the tears stinging your eyes, you can barely make out the faint expression on his face. Damned fucking bastard, damned Signonian, hypocrite and the fucking devil—!
He even has the audacity to look sad for you, as the light slips away from your eyes.
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The first round is simple. Play a round of poker with him.
Aventurine hums delightedly as he shuffles the cards with clean and practised movements, looking right at home at the dealer's table he has sitting in his suite. You blankly look at the cards, not even an inch of a reaction from your side. He chuckles as he deals your cards.
"C'mon, look alive, dear." It's almost like he genuinely wants you to cheer up. "Look, I even poured out alcohol for you. It's not everyday that you get to taste Pier Point's most exquisite wine!"
You continue to stare blankly. You haven't given up yet, of course not, but... you can barely bring yourself to move.
When Aventurine is done dealing all the cards, he leans back on his chair and studies his opponent, just like he always has in the past. If you were acting normally, this would have been an easy win. After all, you always wore your heart on your sleeve and abhorred being told to control your emotions. You acted the way you felt— you curse when you anger, you boast when you're feeling smug, and you press your lips together and blush as he praises you for another job well done.
But now. Well. Bandaids cover the seared marks on your neck as well as your head after you've slammed it against the pavement during your delirious fit on the rooftop. Your arms are littered with purples and blues, the aftermath of a disciplinary session that went on throughout the night. Despite the abuse that Aventurine has (rightfully, in his mind) dealt to you, he had made sure to tend to you afterwards.
Settling your head on his lap, combing through the strands as he placed an icepack on your bruises. He hummed you an old children's rhyme from his home planet as you lay limp across the couch. You could barely move, mind unable to process the pain and despair of having an inch of freedom being ripped away from you. He had wiped away the tear that would fall from your eyes.
You couldn't feel comforted at all.
"This will be the first round out of four. Today, we'll make this a bit simple. Five quick rounds of Indian poker. If you're confident that your card is higher than mine, you can bet as much as you like. Not confident? Fold, and that won't count as a round. Loser has the lower card." He raises his glasses to his hair and smiles at you. "Understood?"
"Understood," you grunt. "I'm not a fuckin' idiot."
Aventurine only smirks. It irritates you, but you don't have much fire in you to snap at him.
The room is silent save for the clinking of chips against each other. The two of you cast a chip to the middle of the table. You raise your card to your forehead.
You cast two more chips. Aventurine casts three. You stare at the printed picture on his card and throw in another chip. He throws in another five. You frown.
"Fold."
"Ah~ You should've been more confident in yourself!" Aventurine chuckles as he begins to shuffle the deck to deal another round. You scowl at the Ace of Clubs in your hand, mocking you at your relinquished defeat. "Is a little intimidation all that's needed to make you submit? You weren't this docile before."
"Shut the fuck up and let's play again." He decides to stifle his laugh for the sake of your nerves.
"Raise." Your win, six of hearts to three of spades.
"Raise." Your win, queen of spades to jack of hearts.
"Fold." Could've been Aventurine's, ace of spades to king of spades.
"Raise." Aventurine's win, eight of clubs to six of hearts.
"Fold." Could've been yours, queen of hearts to 10 of clubs.
"Raise." Aventurine's win, nine of clubs to seven of spades.
Aventurine's practiced hands thumb through the cards as he begins to rearrange them again. His glass wine is almost empty, while yours is untouched. The man knows that you don't drink, so why would he...?
"Last round before one of us wins," Aventurine's voice lilts as he throws you your card. "How about we make it exciting? No one is allowed to fold this round." You frown at him but don't say anything. You cast another chip to the table, and he follows suit.
He has a 10 of spades pressed to his forehead, and your fingers dig deep into your skin.
'Oh please, there's other cards higher than a 10.' You remind yourself, but you gulp down your dry throat as your vision zeroes into his card. 'Jack, Queen, King, Ace. Anything. Please.' Aventurine notices your hurried breathing and smiles knowingly. You gulp whatever cowardice is rising in your throat and throw another chip.
"Raise." Fuck it. If this is the last round, then let's just ball.
He cocks his head, finding the motion unnecessary in this last round. But he sighs with a smile and plays along, casting his chips into the fray, "Then I'll raise too."
"This is the last round," you say, more so to remind yourself.
"Yep." He leans forward on the table and the fluorescent lights cast a shadow over those alluring eyes. "Nervous?"
'How could you say that? How could you taunt me like that? When you were just like me?'
You strengthen your resolve and glare up at him, the fire lighting back up in those blank eyes. "I hope you go to hell."
You throw your card to the middle, with the rest of the chips.
Jack of Clubs.
Aventurine cocks his head at you, smiling as usual.
"Congratulations, pet."
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One would expect that Pier Point was the peak embodiment of wealth and luxury, being the base of the Interastral Peace Corporation. But the brightly something shone the darker its shadows.
Aventurine just so happened to like those shadows, even shrugging off those fancy clothes of his just so that he could find solace in those sleazy bars and play rounds of poker with dead-eyed salarymen and recently fired hopefuls.
The surroundings didn't fare any better. Amongst the dying neon lights, Pier Point's worst neighborhoods featured a just as nasty environment. Drunkards lying beside dumpsters with shattered beer bottles around them, cats hissing at each other in a fight for survival, and abandoned children peeking at them around the corner as they lay in wait for an opening.
Aventurine has shedded his elaborate peacock coat in favor of a simple white button-down and slacks. Despite the simplicity, he still looked out of place amongst the rags, though it made people think of him as a fearless idiot rather than run away at the sight of the IPC's elite.
"Mmm, that robin is indeed very plump," the blonde idiot remarks out of nowhere. "Quite out of place for this kind of area."
You pay him very little attention, mindlessly kicking the broken half of a bottle with your heel. It bumps into a smelly bastard who shoots you an irritated look, but quickly cowers when you return it tenfold. "Maybe it's been feeding on the leftovers of you prissy IPC folk," you spat, taking a look at the fat robin for yourself.
He takes no notice of the slight towards his kind and instead cocks his head at the cat slinking around the corner. "Well. Its health has attracted a rather unwelcome predator." He turns to you, with a mischievous smile. "How about we make this round two? Who will die first, the cat or the robin?"
Seriously? You were betting your freedom on something as stupid as this? You consider the cat— snarling, insipid thing, balding and thin as a stick— then the robin, tweeting fearfully at its perch on the graffitied wall. "Am betting on the cat. Could eat the fat thing while you go on another gamble."
He laughs, sliding on his shades as he walks into the seedy bar. "Then I have no choice but to bet on the poor robin. Let's have some fun before we see the results of our bet."
The cat is lying on the ground, heaving its last few breaths. Its yellow eyes are barely peeking out from its eyelids, probably delirious and starving in its last moments. You poke it slightly with your foot.
It meows pitifully. You instantly feel bad.
It might just be the ugliest thing you've laid your eyes on, but even the ugliest creatures deserve some sort of companionship in their last moments. It hisses weakly when you draw your hand close, but it can't do anything but relent as you stroke its hairless head. It purrs a bit, ragged and breathy, but the heaving of its ribbed chest slows as it relaxes.
"Don't do that," you murmur. "Just... just be quiet. It's okay."
The quiet steps of leather shoes stop beside you, and Aventurine watches on in silence as you comfort the dying thing. His gaze moves from the cat to the robin, still perched on top of the wall with his fat little chest and beady eyes. It hasn't moved from its position at all, just... staring and staring.
"So—"
"I know," you murmur, focus still on the poor thing. "I know, okay?"
The fat robin chirps again, tittering with its mocking chirp, before it flies away into the sky.
Your cat closes its eyes shut, and its skinny chest finally slows to a stop.
Aventurine stays with you for a while as you find a nice spot of earth to bury it.
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No matter how much you want to believe your preconceived image of the blonde gambler— irresponsible, materialistic, money-wasting— you can't just make up lies about him in your head when all of his missions end on a win for him. Right now, he's heading for another mission in a galaxy far away again. And like always, he's dragged you along whether you like it or not.
"Come on, you like sightseeing other planets!" He laughs on the space warp going there. "Makes your blood pumping, scouting out the possible planets you can run away to."
"If I can run away," you grumble, not wanting to acknowledge him as you stare out the window and into the starry expanse of galaxies and space. This sight has always unnerved you— a reminder of how small and insignificant you are. How small and insignificant this collar hand on your life.
"It's not like you to be such a downer," he huffs. He pats the empty seat beside him. "Come, come. Drink with me. Ah, but no alcohol though. Don't want you trying to bite my entourage as soon as we get off." He's referring to the time that you had two sips of the lightest alcohol the ship had in stock before you absolutely wasted and decided that running away to the next planet was a good idea.
You grunt but sit on the floor next to his feet. He doesn't dare to correct you but only regards you with amusement before handing you a glass of sparkling water. You've always had this weird insistence of maintaining your master-slave status quo, despite abhorring your status as a slave. You followed his commands to the tee no matter how dangerous but refused to budge whenever he insisted on treating you like an equal.
"Don't get me wrong," you had snapped at him angrily one time. "As long as I'm in this stupid collar, I am not your fucking equal. So don't go around treatin' me like one, got it?!"
"You got the briefing, right? I'll be dismantling an underground operation on our next planet, so I'll be making good use of your Spirit Whisper." You sip your drink and make no reaction. "I'm sure you have no complaints about that, right?"
"Like I have a fuckin' choice."
He laughs into his cocktail. "Right. How could I forget?" Your eyes narrow into slits when he threads his thin fingers through your hair, but you don't make any move to remove them. "Unfortunately, this isn't an operation that I can just charm and gamble my way through, so you'll be doing a lot of heavy lifting. But so long as I have you, my dearest pet, I'm sure we'll be done before we know it."
You fight the urge to give into his tender touch, massaging your scalp as he combs your strands, though your eyelids are drooping now. He chuckles fondly when you rest your chin on the sofa, right next to his thigh. Adorable, how easily you succumb to the smallest of physical affection.
"Just take a nap," he hums. "We'll be there before you know it."
Aventurine's lavish outfit is a stark contrast against the nitty and gritty environment of the gambling den the two of you are staking out right now. Some of the men leer at him when he passes by, their faces painted by sweat and malice, and the promiscuous women bat their eyes at him with painted-on sweet smiles. No one bats an eye at the collared servant trailing behind him.
You try not to wince as you accidentally make eye contact with another slave, them kneeling on the ground with only rags to cover them and you have the luxury to look away as you grip the sleeves of your ironed button-down. You decide to just fix your eyes on Aventurine's back for the rest of the journey.
The next room you enter— less room to be honest, and more... coliseum-y— features a fighting ring where the crowd cheers on two dogs circling each other under the fluorescent spotlights. The other one, bigger and scarred, is baring his teeth while bearing a deep red gash across his body. The smaller one is shivering but giving the same energy back, snarling in intimidation while also sporting a noticeable limp. Despite the darkness of the room, you don't miss the way Aventurine's face contorts into disgust as he looks at the fight and surveys the crowd of spectators.
"Disgusting," he murmurs. You don't say anything back, though you doubt he could hear you amidst all this cheering. You used to bet on dogs too, back in the day. It was quick and easy money, and you had better things to worry about than the fate of some mutt.
While you're focused on the pathetic dog show in front of you, he steps to your side and nudges you with his elbow. "Willing to bet?" He asks, eyes focused on the show. "As our third round."
"From the look on your face, I thought you hated this kind of thing."
"I do, but I'm not putting money in the pot like the rest of them. This is strictly between you and me with no money involved." He turns his gaze to you. "So, what about it?"
You study the dogs. They've been circling each other for a while now, and the crowd's been growing more and more agitated by the lack of fighting. You think of the dogs you've bet on before, how the smaller ones had just an equal chance of success at winning as the bigger ones. Unconsciously, you tug at your collar. It matches perfectly with the stupid dogs down below.
"Bet," you huff. "I'm taking the smaller one."
You don't know why. It'd make sense to just bet on the bigger and badder, but maybe it's that ferocity in his eyes even if it's overshadowed by the growling menace that has you feeling for it. It's stupid, you know, betting your freedom on a hunch and emotions. But...
If it could have a chance at winning... then why can't you?
...
... Are you destined to die, just like it?
... Are you destined to die as a slave for another IPC slave?
... Will your death be just as morbid and pathetic as the mongrel, his innards spilling onto the pavement while the winner is pulled away by the collar, with no prize but another day of freedom?
This is round three out of four. You've only won one so far.
The very next round could kill you. Could completely sign away your freedom.
Shit shit shit shit shit. Why'd you have to go feeling sorry for the stupid shit? Why'd you have to empathize with its futile fight? Why'd you have to go see yourself in it? Now you could very much share its fate, dying pathetically serving for people who never cared about you in the first place.
Shit shit shit shit shit. The pressure of the bet has always been at the back of your mind, niggling at your brain. But now you can feel its heavy weight squeezing around your heart, in perfect rhythm with the phantom choking of your collar. If you don't win the next, you could very much—
Something light touches your shoulder and you lurch back like you had been stricken there. It disgusts and scares you, sending both repulsion and fear through your body like maggots wriggling into your system.
With a faltering outstretched palm, Aventurine's eyes widen behind his glasses. He sees something on your face, enough to make him bite down whatever cocky shit he has to say, and turns his back towards you.
"Let's go," he says, just barely audible above the crowd. "We still have a mission to complete.
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"This is some silly joke of yours, isn't it?" Aventurine maintains his cool facade, but even then there is disgust in his tone as he speaks to Jade. "Giving a slave to another... you must think this is hilarious."
"Amusing, maybe, but this little one is too precious to let loose in the wild." Jade strokes your head, and while you curse in warning, you don't move to attack. "A user of Spirit Whisper, a rarity even among those in Pteruges-V. Don't you think it'd be better if they served the Amber Lord rather than going back to their pretty crimes?"
"Then give them to someone else." Aventurine turns his back on you and Jade. "Since when did I need help closing a deal?"
"Well, I just thought that you were lonely."
"And you think gifting me a slave of all things would help me?"
"Oh, just give them a chance. I'm sure you'll like this one. Look." Jade raises your chin with a finger, lifting your bruised face to the light. You shoot her a glare, plotting murder in your head, but you don't try to fight back. You might have tried once, probably, and learned your lesson. "Don't you love the fire in their eyes, even after being collared and brutally beaten?"
It is sick. It is sick how Jade can just easily muse about your past abuse to his face. To him. It is sick how the IPC thinks that Aventurine would even be happy about this... gift, let alone accept it.
"I appreciate the... thought." Jade smiles at the barely held back distaste in his voice. "But I'd really rather not."
"Oh, I see..." Jade hums, tilting her head to scrutinize you. "But no one else will accept you since you're too feisty for their liking. So I guess..."
"We'll just have to kill you."
Your face pales. Aventurine has never been quick to turn around.
"Fine. I'll accept," he says with gritted teeth and narrowed eyes. "I'll accept your gift, so just..." He sighs, massaging his temples and waving Jade off. "Go away and let us be."
"Is this some sort of savior complex you have going on?" Despite being a slave, you haven't really learned how to hold that spiteful tongue of yours. Half of the fault lies with Aventurine, seeing how he's never bothered to scold you for it. He looks away from the reports in his hand and smiles at you.
"Oh, whatever do you mean, my dear pup?" Your bitter scowl is pushed down even further at his sweet tone and you scoff.
"I mean," you say, gesturing all around you. "You never scold me, you give me good food, you do all these nice things for me. You don't beat and lash at me like others do. Are you feeling sorry? As one slave to another?"
"Personally, I've never heard of a slave complain about treating this well."
"It's weird." You frown. "It's weird and creepy. All these niceties yet I can tell that you don't even mean half of 'em. Your heart isn't in it. You're just doing it for the sake of being nice. So I don't get it." You cross your arms and lean on the couch, deep in thought. "If you don't even mean it, why even bother?"
Aventurine hums, studying your silent and pondering figure before returning to his papers. You don't follow up your complaints with anything else, and the two of you are left to stew in the silence.
... Why even bother indeed?
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"Last round and you only have one win, pup." His sickly sweet voice croons, tapping his perfect nails on the table as he watches your expression. "Are you excited?"
Normally you'd bite back, but today you thickly swallow. The looming sense of doom continues to hammer into the back of your skull, spiking your nerves with every beat and shaking your senses. You can barely feel your fingers. You can barely feel except for the fear coiling around your heart.
"... Yes." You can't even barely say a syllable.
Through the rushing blood of your ears, you can barely make out the sound of your master rummaging through something. Something metallic clicks into place and he slides it to the center of the table. You will yourself to look up—
A shiny revolver lies on the table.
A surprised cry elicits from your mouth and you jolt back. The sight of a weapon is enough to startle your poor nerves now and even more so the expectant look glinting in Aventurine's eyes. He smirks and leans forward.
"How about I make an offer you can't refuse?" Not that you were in a position to do so. "Since this is the fourth round, how about we go all in?"
"Russian Roulette. Whoever wins stays alive—"
—And the other lays dead in a puddle of their own blood.
It goes unsaid, but the moment you locked eyes with Aventurine, it was clear that the both of you were thinking of the same thing. You could ponder upon why the Aventurine would stake his own life over something so trivial as your freedom, but you aren't thinking anymore. All you want is your freedom. All you want is to get away.
You don't think further as you wrap your fingers around the handle of the gun and press it to your temple. You pull the trigger. Only a clean click follows, the chamber changing cases. You slide the gun over to him.
He calmly picks it up and slots it to his temple too. "Why are you so desperate to get away from me, pup?" He cocks his head. "I would give you everything you ask for, should you just ask. I treat you with care and as a friend. Is being with me so bad you'd put your life on the line for your freedom?"
He pulls the trigger. Nothing happens. He slides it over to you.
"Even if you go back to your old life, what would be the point? You'll go back to stealing whatever you can off nobles, treating your fellow street rats like fools and pawns before dashing off to your next victim. Would that give you happiness? Fulfillment? Is that the life you prefer instead of being next to me?"
"Sh... Shut up." You sound drained, but he presses on.
"You can have it all, in the price of a collar. Does it not sound good enough to you?"
'Why... Why of all people is he...'
"Do you really hate being owned by me?"
"Why are you..." You choke on your words, grip around the handle trembling. "Why are you saying those things?"
Aventurine has never seen you cry. Not once. Not even when he had to punish you for running away. You could be weak and beaten, but you never willingly cried. But now...
He raises a hand to cover his smile.
"I thought... I thought you of all people would understand." Tears drop to your lap and your hand lowers the gun from your temple. "The pain, the humiliation of being a slave, of being owned. It doesn't matter how nice you are to me. I just want to be free. Shouldn't that be enough?"
Silence overtakes the room as Aventurine takes in the unfamiliar sight before him. Here you were, his greatest treasure, the most vulnerable than you ever were. Sobbing and weeping with a gun in hand, the pressure of the bet finally getting to you.
He moves. "... So this is it? For your pride?"
You wince, looking at him in betrayal. "You... I thought you of all people would at least understand..." You stay silent, the words forming on your tongue but too afraid to sound them out. Then your expression twists into anger, then resolute determination, before you wipe away your tears and glare at him like you always did. "I was wrong. You're scum. Just like the rest of 'em."
The moment the head of the gun points at his head, the collar clamps down and chokes you till your throat cracks and bleeds. The current of electricity crackling your nerves is just as painful and torturous as last time, but you grit your bloodied teeth and press the gun further.
Aventurine looks dazed, staring up into your bloodied face. If you weren't in such agonizing pain you would have laughed at how stupid he looks.
"[Y. Name]..."
"I hope you go to hell," you hiss through the bloody pain. "And I hope that when I get there, I'll never have to fucking see you again."
You pull the trigger to that beautiful face of his, but nothing happens once again. Fuck. It falls to the ground as the pain overwhelms you and you finally stagger. It lays among the specks of blood on the carpet, along with its empty... case...
Your eyes flick to Aventurine, still caught off guard and staring at you with wide eyes. Hesitantly, he reaches out to your convulsing body and cradles your head. "[Y. Name]..." He says, still sounding dazed. "Why would you..."
"Fuckin'... coward..." You grit out. "I was right... from the very start..."
Aventurine watches as you succumb to the pain and collapse in his arms. Despite being unconscious, the collar continues to shock and choke you, and more and more blood spouts from the side of your mouth and into the carpet. He tries to wipe it, despite it continuing like a fountain, before giving up and stroking your hair as the pain continues to intrude on you in your sleep.
"I know," he whispers, pressing a kiss to your eyelid. "You know it as well as me." He presses a kiss onto the other.
"You were never a bet I was willing to wager."
823 notes · View notes
huellitaa · 11 months ago
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girl's guide to academic success: ep 1! ⊹˚. ♡
──★ ˙ ̟🎀 this post focuses on: actively rooting for success! ♡ part 2 -> ♡
🧸𓂃 ࣪˖ 1. organisation
first off, have something to organise ur academic life with! i personally use notion (which i'll add later) but u can use anything as long as it's cute, convenient, unique and accessible to you, your life and your schedule specifically. especially as a visual learner, i like to have somewhere i can dump literally everything regarding a singular area in my life, so i do this for almost everything along with school and i highly recommend this <3
🧸𓂃 ࣪˖ 2. recognition of talents & improvements
analyse your strengths and weaknesses. think back on tests, exams, marks, and analyse which ones you got highest and lowest on. dont beat urself up for it, obviously; it's just to check which subjects you're doing good in and which ones have room for improvement. for example i love science but im not the best at it sometimes and we had an assessment recently and i didn't get as high as i'd like so i wrote down a little list on a piece of paper in my pencilcase for the topics i got the least in for me to study on my own to practise later.
🧸𓂃 ࣪˖ 3. laying out goals
set down specific goals; i like to do this week by week accustomed to my schedule that week in my school notion page along with images and vision boards based on the term/semester, but you can do it for the week, the month, the year, anything as long as its helpful to you
🧸𓂃 ࣪˖ 4. productive planning
plan accordingly based on ur time energy. when creating any to do list or productivity plan dont pile a ridiculous amount onto it that just leaves you stressed and overwhelmed because that defeats the entire point; this works the same for academic plans and goals and lists etc.
🧸𓂃 ࣪˖ 5. extra credit
put extra work in to the subjects you know will help you in the future. for example, for my personal aspirations i need to excel in english, history and textiles so i always try my absolute hardest and put my all into those lessons and do extra studying for them in my free time where i can. school is to prepare you for the future so take advantage of that
🧸𓂃 ࣪˖ 6. asking questions
please don't be shy to ask questions! that's what teachers are there for and you won't have them forever so take advantage of it while you can! you can even do it in that little window of time just after class if ur too nervous to ask in class. for example, on my last english exam i went to my teacher after class and asked about what i needed to improve on to get the marks i missed next time, and he told me i added too much detail and some other things so i wrote it down and am keeping a note of it to remind me to improve on that next time! (i got top of my class though so i didnt mind. still kind of pissed i added too much detail though)
🧸𓂃 ࣪˖ 7. participation
participate! ok im saying this as someone who still struggles with social anxiety a fair amount but if u wanna get higher marks and get on good terms w ur teacher i 100% recommend this. i don't do this in every class but i do it where i can and when i'm confident in my answer, and it's really intimidating at first but what i did is i did it first in the classes i felt most comfortable on and continued from there. it gets easier every time i swear, and nobody's judging you; they'll forget about it after five minutes. plus, what would they be judging you for? being smarter than them?
🧸𓂃 ࣪˖ 8. prioritising ur health
this is mentioned a lot in these types of posts but if you're tired or burnt out or overworked or just feel like you need to take a break then do. do the best you can and compromise like i said earlier if you need to, just make sure u are prioritising yourself over anything. <3
──★ ˙ ̟🎀inspo
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──★ ˙ ̟🎀my notion
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i also really recommend this layout by @honeytonedhottie ♡
all my love 🩷✨💬🎀💗
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navybrat817 · 1 year ago
Note
Does Stud know what Smartie is getting him or will he try to get a hint?
He doesn't know, nonnie.
Cookies and Hints
Pairing: Roommate!Bucky Barnes x Female Reader
Summary: Bucky tries to get hints about his gifts as you bake together.
Word Count: Over 1.1k
Warnings: Fluff, established relationship, teasing, implied smut, humor, slight feels (it’s me, okay), talk of celebrating Christmas, Bucky Barnes (he’s a warning, okay?).
A/N: More short and sweet for Stud and Smartie. ❤️ Not beta read and written on my phone, so any and all mistakes are my own. Divider by the talented @firefly-graphics . Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog for new fics and notifications. Comments, reblogs, feedback are loved and appreciated!
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There was something sweet about baking with Bucky. The kitchen became a hub for communication and collaboration as you made something tasty together. It was a way to be fully engaged and present with each other while creating new and happy memories. You looked forward to those moments together.
Even when Stud tried to drive you crazy.
You pinched the bridge of your nose before you scooped the last of the cookie dough onto the tray. “For the twentieth time, I'm not telling you what your gifts are,” you said.
You had just finished wrapping his presents this morning since you didn't want to wait until Christmas Eve. How you managed to sneak them in without him getting a glimpse was a proud moment since he was much stealthier than you. You wanted to surprise him and he was making it more and more difficult.
Especially since he kept giving you puppy dog eyes.
“First, I did not ask you twenty times,” he said, leaning against the counter as he watched you open the oven and carefully placed the tray in. “Second, I’m not asking for you to tell me what the presents are. All I asked for was a hint.”
“See, but if I give you any hints, you’ll figure out what they are,” you told him, setting the timer on the stove. “You're a smart man.”
“I appreciate the compliment,” he smiled almost sheepishly, which made you smile in return. He deserved all the praise. If no one else would give it to him, you would. “But I really think one tiny little hint wouldn't hurt.”
He doesn't know when to quit, does he?
“You were totally that child that went looking for your presents, weren't you? Wait, did you go into my room?”
Bucky placed a hand on his chest, a wounded look in his blue eyes. “Do you really think I'd go into your room without your permission?” he asked, the corner of his lip twitching. “I could also get the cats to ‘play’ with the wrapping paper. I mean, you can't blame them if they’re curious.”
Fair.
You thrust a finger in his face as you spun toward him. “James Buchanan Stud Barnes, don't you dare trick the cats into doing your dirty work. And I am not giving you a single hint and that is final,” you stated.
Of course, your attempt at intimidation didn't deter Bucky. Not when he locked eyes with you and wrapped his lips around the tip of your finger. You sucked in a deep breath when he flicked his tongue against it, the same way he did against your clit when he went down on you.
Oh, fuck.
As if he knew your womb clenched and panties dampened when he released the digit from his sinful mouth, he smirked and winked. “You sure about that?”
Jutting your chin out, you nodded. “Yeah because I used your full name, so… There.”
There's that stellar education of mine put to good use.
“Now if you’ll excuse me,” you began, reaching over to grab the used mixing bowl with as much grace as possible when he tampered down a laugh. “I need to clean this and you need to stop distracting me.”
“You know we can clean together and you can still give a clue,” he pointed out, reaching for the bottom of his T-shirt as you walked to the sink. “And if I really want to distract you, I can take this off.”
“Keep your shirt on,” you ordered, thinking it over as you turned on the water. “For now.”
You faced the wall as you rinsed the bowl, determined to stay strong. You wouldn't break. Bucky didn't need any hints. Not a single one.
You straightened up when he came up behind you and placed a hand on each side of the sink. Why did he have to smell so good? You didn't turn around, but you felt your heart speed up as the heat rolled off his firm body.
“Come on, Smartie,” he breathed low against your neck, his nose brushing along your skin. “Just a little hint and I won't bother you for the rest of the day.”
Maybe I want you to bother me.
You closed your eyes and almost dropped the bowl when his lips followed the path. “You're not playing fair,” you whined.
He chuckled as he pushed against you, letting you feel the outline of his cock. “Neither are you,” he groaned when you moved your hips back against him.
“You started it.”
“And I'm more than happy to finish it,” he promised, gently nipping over your pulse. “As long as it's inside you.”
Fuck, fuck, fuck.
Before you allowed him to do exactly that, you managed to spin around in the cage he made so you could face him. “You really want a hint?”
His face softened as he reached behind you to shut off the water. “Only if you really want to give me one.”
“Okay. Here it is,” you said, leaning in so your mouth touched his ear and smiling when he shivered. You wanted his heart to race the same way yours did. “Your gifts were all bought or crafted with love.”
It wasn't a clue at all, but it would tell Bucky all he needed to know. That no matter what you gave him, you selected and crafted them with care. Because he was your special guy and you wanted to spoil him a little.
The way he no doubt spoiled you.
You smiled widened as you leaned your head back. You thought baking cookies together was the happy memory you would make, but seeing the happiness in his eyes as he gazed at you warmed your heart. It was a look you cherished being on the receiving end of.
“That’s all I needed to hear,” he gently admitted, his gaze drifting to your lips before he closed the gap and kissed them. “Now that I have my hint, I need to taste you before those cookies finish baking.”
Yes. Spread my legs wide open and taste how sweet I am.
“Mmm. I may need to finish cleaning,” you teased, his large hands gripping your hips as he moved you away from the sink.
“Why clean now since we’re going to make it dirty?” He questioned, lifting you and placing on an empty spot on the counter. “And after I’ve had my fill, you’re gonna let me frost your cookie.”
“Bucky, no,” you giggled as he tugged at your pants, knowing full well you’d let him fill you up.
“Bucky, yes,” he smiled.
And as the scent of the sweet and sugary cookies filled the kitchen, that was exactly what he did.
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We know he'll love his gifts. Love and thanks for reading! ❤️
Masterlist ⚓ Bucky Barnes Masterlist ⚓ Ko-Fi
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endereies · 1 month ago
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ENDEREIES' CHRISTMAS
Finally! It's fucking Christmas, cannot believe I didn't crash out just yet. To be honest, with a few more days left of the year I have all opportunity to do so. With it now being this festive holiday I thought it would be nice to give my mutuals a little bit of that festive cheer. I know not everyone celebrates Christmas so this won't be entirely Christmas themed, yet, it will be a cute little paragraph dedicated to a few of my mutuals or followed blogs. SO WITHOUT FURTHER ADO, I PRESENT ENDEREIES' CHRISTMAS!!
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@phone4pills - I am on my way to wrap a wreath and ribbon around you and Robot!Chris' dick. On a serious note, you are so fucking talented and it blows my mind every time. The amount of thought and dedication that you put into your work is so admirable. I hope your holidays aren't as drab as this UK weather but nonetheless I'll be creating Robot!Chris as soon as possible (we are sharing custody). LOVE YOU AND YOUR WORK SO MUCH
@pasteldreams - OH MY FUCK, CAN WE TALK ABOUT YOUR MOODBOARDS FOR A MOMENT. I am so impressed by them all and if you see me stalking... no you don't! The images are perfect for each colour and you bet your ass that Avery and I were going feral on them. I'm so excited to read your fics when they surface. On my way to stalk the moodboards right now. But I love your moodboards and of course, the person who created them
@strnilolover - Gabby!!! Oh fuck I have too many things to say to you. You're so talented, I know I have yapped about your au's so many times but it's because they are STUNNING. They are produced so well. Everything you write is. When I am sent your works early, I am blown away. The descriptions, the dialogue, it is perfection on my screen. But all work aside, you're such a sweet person and I love talking to you every day. Even with our time differences, we still spend hours talking. Either about tumblr, fic ideas, edits or just random shit. In your post, you said you saw me as a bigger account and were slightly intimidated to talk to me BUT THATS HOW I FELT ABOUT YOUUU. I was in AWE over your work and the way you wrote (I still am) it's crazy to me how we are mutuals BUT I LOVE YOU TO THE MOON AND BACK BABY
@hearts4werka - YOUR INBOX MESSAGES MAKE ME SMILE EVERY TIME. I know we don't interact as much as every fucking hour but when we do we have such nice conversations through our inboxes, I just wake up to a message from you and I am immediately smiling ear to ear. The first interaction was about my profile and the last was about seeing a biker look like Matt. Duality of friendship for SURE. Buying you merch bc yes.
@streamermattsgf - SAGEEEEEEEE We are fairly new mutuals and I thank Cece for showing me your account which then led to me seeing the Sturniolo Tumblr Awards. That idea was so sweet and creative and definitely brought the community together. I was even on there at one point which actually blows my mind but I digress. You're so sweet in everything you do, when there was hate about the awards you handled it in the most perfect way which I will always give credit for
@thenickgirl - MY FAVOURITE NICK ACCOUNT ON THIS APP YESSIR. Nick and Jalen are my babies, you cannot change my mind. Tumblr definitely lacks in Nick content and I will forever love yours. Everytime I'm drawing Nick or I see a tiktok, I immediately think of your account. AND YOU'RE SO KIND WHATTT ILY BBYYY I cannot wait to continue reading about Nick and Jalen as you post about them. I have to interact with you so much more than I do.
@lovesturni0l0s - ASTRIDDD I love you so so much and everything you do. We became mutuals and started talking quickly about random shit in our inboxes and they still make me giggle. They always end in appreciation too which is everything to me. I love yapping with you over random things hehehe. Your fluffmas is PERFECTION, I will always read every single one as soon as I see that it is released, just how you did on my NNN posts. You are SO supportive of everyone and it is truly so nice to see. I just want to talk with you whenever I can
@chrisweetheart - LIAAA We do NOT interact as much as I want to but whenever we do you're the kindest person everrr. Talking with you or reading your fics is always a highlight of my day. Your blog is so fucking pretty and I could admire it for hours, and I know you are the exact same. I am literally on my way with my basket of kisses.
@flouvela - My fucking bae. I've been following you for so long and when you followed me back I had a heart attack. Your writing is so cute and I love reading all of them. I still remember the one where Matt held your iced latte when it was cold outside so that you could stay warm. If she wasn't warm, my heart definitely was. You're so kind and thoughtful and definitely someone that I look up to within my writing.
@y3sterdaysproblem - Avery my baeeee I'm so so proud of what you have managed to accomplish this year. Your talent is actually so immense and anyone can see that in anything and everything that you post. Your series 'smoke and mirrors' still has me in a chokehold (I have read it 4 times). I cannot wait to see what you end up creating further along next year but just know I will support and love it all.
@chrislilcumslvt - Marls I will be forever thankful for you and your account. On anything that I post, whether it be a fic or me just yapping, I can always count on you to be one of the first people to like it. I will never get bored of your inbox messages, they are such a highlight of my week. LOVE YOU FOREVER
@issysh3ll - ISSYYYY MY AUSSIE GAL You will never fail to impress me LIKE OMGGG phases was and still is one of my favourite ever fics made in this fandom. It's so descriptive. educational which applying to the smut that this horny community love. I don't think I will ever get tired of your inbox messages, I always want to know how many wine glasses Chris can balance on his ass. If I ever have any questions I now know who to turn to
@sturnioz - CAS There are so many things about you that I could happily yap about lmao. My first introduction to you was a fic from the beginning of July, not that I even knew it then. Then your au's came along and it is safe to say I fell in love with everything you made. I am always drawn to your account and reread blurbs more times than I can count. When you followed me on your alt account I was giggling to my friends because I was stunned (I still am) I always wanna yap in your inbox but I never know what to say and lowkey I'm a little intimidated but I digress. You're so sweet whenever I am in your inbox and then I fangirl to Cece buttttt Love you and your work forever baby
@x0x0bunny - THE ONLY MUSIC ARTIST EVER, like you're talented in literally everything?? gimme some talent. And your fics are so so good. I'm so hyped to start talking about music production with you for my Producer!Chris au like it's so yummy you don't understand. I wish I interacted with you more and that shall be my new years resolution FOR SURE
@colorthecosmos444 - My big sister forever. Cece, you're literally everything to me ever. You're so kind, considerate, thoughtful and understanding at the same time. I will never get over our need for Emo!Matt, I am barking whenever he is mentioned. But I'd pick you over him any day. I love sharing my ideas with you and helping each other with everything. I WISH WE TALKED WHEN YOU WERE IN LONDON I'd rush to you in a heartbeat and show you everything. I could spend hours talking with you even if its 4am for me. Your work is perfection and no one can replace the true Emo Queen. Love you forever sis
@sturniolosiphone - AALIYAH MWAH You have the prettiest blog I ever did see and you give off the biggest Clairo vibes ever. You're work is PERFECT and no other word is fitting enough than pure perfection. Not to mention how cutsey you are when we interact with one another. You're so supportive and I will forever love talking about the triplets with you!
@missmimii - My inactive queen lol. When I first found your blog is the most heavenly thing I set my eyes on. The layout, the wording, the descriptions and such cute fics were and still are my roman empire. You are pure fucking honey and I still smile whenever your username is on my screen, it's so perfect. I will read your work so often and I will never ever get bored of it.
@55sturn - STAR one of my first mutuals on my account and I've been obsessed since day one. Your Loser!Chris x MeanGirl!Reader au is chiseled into my future gravestone so that I can read it after I die. The timeline and structure is just YES. You've been through a lot and I am forever proud of you. We may not interact a whole bunch but I love you dearly
@muwapsturniolo - PEACHESSSS It still shocks me how we are mutuals because you are the baddest bitch ever. You're like a celebrity role model to me and I'm just in awe. Not to mention how stunning your writing is, I could stare at my screen until my eyes burn just staring at your writing. LIKE I JUST LOVE YOU SO MUCH
@bernardsbendystraws - ROSEYYYFIGEDUHIJW MY DAY ONEEEEEE Baby you mean everything to me. Part of my Discord family that I cherish so much. I was honestly so intimidated by you when I met you on that server simply because of your energy. You seemed so confident and easy going which was something I could only dream of. And now we are friends and mutuals and someone I trust dearly. I will be forever proud of just how far you have come, with yourself, writing and followers. I'm forever grateful for our friendship in ways I wish I could show you. But I will always have your back in anything you do or have against you because you have done so much for me that is simply irreplaceable. We have also became so similar in how we speak which is hilarious to me as well. Love you forever and ever baby
@raysmayhem-72 - RAYYY Ugh where do I even begin. My fellow Londoner and yet we are yet to meet? That has to be fixed immediately. Talking to you is one of my favourite things ever and I love listening to you yap about books LIKE YESS LET ME SEE THOSE FICTIONAL CHARACTERS. You'll forever be my Discord family, you can't escape. Forever grateful for all the yummy conversations about everything and how willing you are to support and listen to me, it means more than you could ever know.
@pattyshome / @patscorner - PATTY CAKE You are so fucking special to me in every fucking way. Talking you is free therapy and I love you for it all. You've been through so much and every single time you still manage to have a smile on your face and continue to spread irreplaceable kindness that is too pure. Even in your current situation the efforts you make with your friends are so special. I'm so proud of you and I hope things ease up for you, I will move you to England if I have to
@bueckerrss - ARI MY EDITING PARTNER IN CRIMEEE Your edits are impeccable and your improvement is so clear to see. You've supported mine since day one and I'm so grateful for that. Even if ride or die was initially meant to be a collab with you and it wasn't, I still think of you whenever I read it again and it's now an au! Your performances are also just so satisfying to look LIKE YES POP OFF QUEEN. Another one of my day ones and I love you so fucking much.
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marsbutterfly · 1 year ago
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HELLO MARSLYN 😈
idk if you’ve done this already.. but could i have some dating headcanons for hanma? 🥹 ilysm
a/n: HELLO BITCHLYN <3 I am so sorry this has taken me so long BUT I finally finally finished this <3 I was going to make it all very sweet and fluffy then the smut came out. oh well, it is what it is hehe
Dating Shuji Hanma 𓈒∘☁︎
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warnings: fem!reader, mentions of the following - blood, knives, bruises, violence, smoking and some creepy ppl at first, some anxiety if you squint. NSFW, oral sex (m! receiving), multiple creampies, no breeding kink tho. not proof read cuz i'm depressed 🫶🏻
𓈒∘☁︎ You "first" met Hanma by accident. It was a simple summer day, you were on your way back from class when a group of men stopped you on the street. Their faces were some you had never seen before, even though you walked the same path everyday.
𓈒∘☁︎ A smile crept on the biggest one's face and you could feel the blood nearly draining from your face and yet, your heart was beating so fast. A fear you had never felt before as they take a few steps closer, nearly pressing you against the wall.
𓈒∘☁︎ You don't have time to scream for help because, before you even realize, a shadowy figure is already on top of them. A slim boy with duo color hair throws punches around in such speed you have never seen before. He laughs a deranged laugh and you notice that he is mostly using his right hand, yelling something about "punishing assholes."
𓈒∘☁︎ Once all the creeps who cornered you are on the ground, a mess between bloody noses, swollen eyes and missing teeth, the boy turns to look at you. Splatters of red across his face as he walks closer, his left fingers rubbing his right knuckles.
𓈒∘☁︎ "Are you alright?" He asks, a blank expression on his face while his eyes give you a puzzling look that you can't quite decipher.
𓈒∘☁︎ "I think so," your voice cracks, hands shaking lightly as he walks closer. After a few seconds of examining his face, you realize you have met him before. In fact, it was a face you were maybe too familiar with, "Shuji?"
𓈒∘☁︎ The right side of his lip curls into a smirk and he raises an eyebrow, "I go by Hanma now, it's more intimidating!"
𓈒∘☁︎ After that, the two of you began spending more time together. While you weren't thrilled with his ways of getting what he wanted, you still accompanied him wherever he went. The gas station on the corner where he would threaten to beat the owner if he didn't give him a pack of cigarettes (of course you would pay the poor man behind his back)
𓈒∘☁︎ Or when he would bring you to the gang's hideout and listen for hours as he instigated the boys to punch each other (it became common for you to mend battered knuckles and accessing injuries)
𓈒∘☁︎ However, he could also be very romantic when he wanted to be. Like when he would take you out to dinner, though not typically to restaurants since he was banned from most of them, he would insist on taking you out for a night bike ride, the smell of the ocean mixing with the smell of whatever takeout food you ordered.
𓈒∘☁︎ You would spend hours sitting by the sea, the sand getting in between your toes after he splashed some water onto your feet. The cold breeze against your face and the sweetness of his lips against yours after eating dessert.
𓈒∘☁︎ He will bring out a deck of cars and insist on playing for a chance to see your boobies, he cheats and wins every time of course but he will deny it like his life depends on it if you call him out.
𓈒∘☁︎ I think he is caring in his own personal way. Even though he might sometimes get himself busted up pretty badly, he would never, EVER put your life in danger, willingly or not.
𓈒∘☁︎ I feel like he might also have a "special talent" though I'm not sure what it would be. Maybe he is really good at doing your makeup since his eyeliner is so on point.
𓈒∘☁︎ Or maybe he is really good at drawing and keeps leaving silly, little pictures around your house for you to find when you are away from him. Some are drawings of hearts, some are gory as fuck. Who knows what you'll find next time?
𓈒∘☁︎ He is very protective of you. Like, any man who gets too close or even looks in your direction, gets a stern look or maybe even a knife to the throat when you look away.
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𓈒∘☁︎ The idea of having you all to himself makes him go crazy. He gets hard with the slightest of touches, and when he feels your mouth around his cock? He feels like he could bust a nut with the simply breeze of your warm breath.
𓈒∘☁︎ He loves it when you have your "bad girl moments", when you push his against his back and get on your knees, moving your hair out of your face to give yourself better access to his already throbbing cock.
𓈒∘☁︎ Oh, and he is obsessed with your pussy. The way he fills you up, the way you move your hips against him, the way he fucks you so hard his balls actually come in contact with your clit.
𓈒∘☁︎ He gets easily drunk on the scent of your sweaty skin mixed with his, the pool of your juices sliding down your legs towards the ground. Oh, how he loves the sounds you make.
𓈒∘☁︎ Also his pull out game is immaculate. The man has never worn a condom in his life, but every so often he will give into the temptation and release all of his cum inside of you. He will do it until you are dripping.
𓈒∘☁︎ Then he immediately goes out and buys like, three boxes of plan B. idk, the man knows the consequences to his actions.
𓈒∘☁︎ Oh and to finish this off, did I mention that he definitely asked you out by beating a bunch of guys up and either using their blood or displaying their bodies to form up the words: be my gf? because he did.
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casual-tarot · 2 years ago
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Pick a Pile: People's First Impression of you
NOTE: These are from other people's perspective, not necessarily what you think of yourself. ALSO, these are mostly just quick thoughts, impressions, not a full fledged reading.
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Pile 1
You come off as very ambitious, probably a very work oriented person. They think you're hardworking and probably assume you're financially well off. They also assume you help your coworkers out a lot
Intimidating.
Someone who looks like they can have a good time. Someone who, from across the room, is always smiling or making other people laugh.
Outgoing.
Fiercely kind, someone who isn't afraid to speak up when something is wrong but usually never in an aggressive way.
People may look at you as a motherly figure(regardless of gender) in that you will guide others and lend a shoulder when you can.
Leader type, especially when it comes to work and your career.
Inspirational at times, someone who can get those around you motivated for anything. Work keeps coming to mind so this likely has to do with your career, but that's not the case for everyone.
A go getter, someone who just goes for what they want to achieve, little to no hesitation.
A planner, you may seem like someone who will just go for things but they don't see you as incompetent or foolish. People clock you as someone who doesn't hesitate to get what you want, but always has a plan for it, even if you never speak that plan out loud.
Very just and fair, unlikely to have bias or to let bias get in the way of any matter
Someone who can see right through people
I'm getting the vibe that some people may see you as manipulative, like your ability to clock people is used for evil lol, these impressions likely come from negative/jealous people so pay them no mind
Someone bright and sunny, kind
I think people think you're especially soft with your lover(s), maybe they see you with friends/partners/family from afar and see how gentle and kind you are to them, and assume it means that you are a very loving and thoughtful partner. I'm hearing/seeing Hand cupping/caressing cheek.
I think some people daydream about being your partner, they see your gentle touch from afar and wish it was them you were touching.
Someone who is very romantic. Like, rose petals on the bed or fancy dinner romantic. Some people just assume you're gentle nature translates to a super stereotypically romantic partner.
Someone who doesn't really care about or notice anyone's opinions about you, they think you go with the flow and don't let others thoughts bug you.
(Note: I hope that last part is true for you Pile 1, cause I get that vibe too! lol)
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Pile 2
Immediately I get the vibe that people see you as incredibly kind at first glance. Maybe a bit Motherly? Even if you don't identify as a female. Someone who understands your emotional state well
Someone who is very in tune with their intuition and subconscious. People probably see you as wise when they first see/meet you. You've got that airy peaceful look on your face.
Some people see you as stressed, someone who struggles because you put to much on your plate. Maybe from a distance, they see you take on task after task, favor after favor, and imagine that it must be stressful to have that all on your shoulders. I'm also seeing "commissions" so maybe you're an artist of some sort. This may or not be true, but others see it that way.
Despite the above point, I do think people see you as content. Someone happy with their life, who sees the positives in everything and rarely complains.
People see you as very creative and passionate. Maybe some of you create and sell things as your job, like an etsy shop for example. They see this and imagine you are incredibly talented and ambitious, willing to start a business all on your own. For those that don't have a career like that, they still see you as ambitious, a go getter of sorts.
A good work life balance. Maybe others see that, despite being a hard worker, you always make time for yourself and loved ones.
You have a keen eye, people think you can see things that others would normally pass by. They also think you're a great judge of character, that can see through someone in and instant. I'm imagining you meeting someone for the first time and clocking their intentions right away, and closing yourself off to them, only offering a polite smile and conversation. And then likely talking to them as little as possible. There are people that hate this because they know they can't manipulate you as easily.
I think you mirror others in a sense? Like, if someone is a bad person, you make them see that without ever having to say anything. They realize they're being cruel to you because you don't submit to them all while smiling kindly at them. It makes them understand that their actions are wrong. Some people see and hate this and will actively avoid you.
People assume you are at peace with yourself and your life.
People see you as successful, incredibly so. Whatever you've got going on for your career and in your life, people see and think you have it good. You come across as someone who is well put together in life. I'm thinking white picket fence, even if that's not necessarily the life you have. They see you as someone who imbodies that term. I'm seeing someone who gets out of their car with a bag of groceries, someone who seems to have that stress free and successful life others want.
A lot of people look up to you because of the above reason, you inspire them to believe in themselves and get to the point you have gotten too.
(A note for this Pile that I keep hearing, you're doing good! Your doing so well! Keep it up!)
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Pile 3
Immediately hearing "a romantic" so maybe you're a romantic at heart or a hopeless romantic. People see you as someone who dreams of meeting "the one" and loves love.
People see you as very passionate, both in the 18+ sense AND the ambitious sense.
On the note of 18+ people see you and think you're extremely attractive, they see you as someone "hot" with a "rocking bod" lol. I think people are intimidated by this sometimes. You seem like a very sensual person to others.
People also find your ambition incredibly attractive, it doesnt have to be in the romantic sense either. Some people see your ambition and passion and just deeply admire it.
Ambitious and goal oriented, people assume you take great pride in your job/creative work and assume you have a sort of plan of action.
Despite that, people don't think you're necessarily in it for the money, they assume it's just a bonus for you lol. You may come across as very humble.
A jack of all trades
A ray of light, a beckon of hope. Maybe you're an optimist or you just come off that way, but people tend to look to you for positivity, mostly in a work environment. They assume you'll be kind in anything you have to say, even if it's bad news.
I think some people assume that, secretly, you must be struggling. "You hide it well but, I know you well." Is what I'm hearing. Not they necessarily think they know you, just that they get the vibe that no one can be that successful/happy without some sort of tragic background.
I'm getting the vibe that some of the more negative/jealous types might feel that your positivity is all an act.
Leader type.
Very zen, some people assume you do yoga or something lol
I think some people might assume you do prayers? Not necessarily to the Christian God(though maybe you do) but maybe towards other deities. You may come off as a bit witchy lol.
A hard worker.
Someone who stays late in the office, or who works on a project late into the night. They assume you'll work day and night to finish your assignments.
There are some people that assume you're greedy. People get a general vibe of success off of you. Some of them assume that you must have a lot of money and that wanting to keep that close to your chest is just a part of that. It's a 50/50 on if they think this is a negative trait or not, depends on the person lol.
You probably have money put away for a rainy day.
"The world is at your fingertips."
Tranquil.
Kind and friendly.
Vain. Some people see your success and assume you're cocky and full of yourself.
Confident. I think that's the overall vibe I get, someone who is confident in themselves and their work. Someone that doesn't care what other people think, and a lot of people admire this, though it definitely makes other jealous.
(A note for this Pile that I'm hearing: you do you! Don't listen to what other people say, don't worry about their first and lasting impressions. Live for yourself and keep doing what you're doing!)
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sideprince · 6 months ago
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Do you have any thoughts on how Snape would have acted if Harry had been sorted into Slytherin? While I can’t help but feel that there would be a part of him who would want to joyously gloat about James Potter’s son ending up in Slytherin, I can’t help but wonder if he wouldn’t still hold a mountain of resentment that would be incorrectly targeted towards Harry? Do you have any thoughts on this? Thanks!
I think one of the key aspects of Snape and Harry's relationship is that they don't really know each other and don't get a chance to. If you look at how the rest of the staff treat Snape, there seems to be respect for him and while I'm not sure how many of his colleagues actively like him, they certainly don't dislike him. We see this in how the rest of the staff treat teachers they don't like, such as Lockhart and Umbridge:
...Dumbledore announcing that, unfortunately, Professor Lockhart would be unable to return next year, owing to the fact that he needed to go away and get his memory back. Quite a few of the teachers joined in the cheering that greeted this news.
-Chamber of Secrets, Ch. 18
The upshot of it all was that Professor Umbridge spent her first afternoon as headmistress running all over the school answering the summonses of the other teachers, none of whom seemed able to rid their rooms of the fireworks without her. When the final bell rang and the students were heading back to Gryffindor Tower with their bags, Harry saw, with immense satisfaction, a disheveled and soot- blackened Umbridge tottering sweaty-faced from Professor Flitwick’s classroom.  “Thank you so much, Professor!” said Professor Flitwick in his squeaky little voice. “I could have got rid of the sparklers myself, of course, but I wasn’t sure whether I had the authority...”  Beaming, he closed his classroom door in her snarling face.
Order of the Phoenix, Ch. 28
This leads me to think that since the staff have had some opportunity to get to know Snape, even if it's superficially (given how guarded he is), their treatment of him indicates that he's not as terrible and repugnant as characters like Harry make him out to be. And while it's possible that they were deferential to him because he can be intimidating, I don't really see a bunch of talented, established Hogwarts professors cowering. After all, Umbridge had more authority than Dumbledore and even fired a staff member, but the rest of the teachers didn't seem to be affected by whether or not they were intimidated by her. They also literally took on Voldemort and his army to protect the school.
The reason Snape is able to project so much of James onto Harry is because they don't know each other outside of the classroom. This is the same reason why Harry is able to resent Snape so much. We see a chink in both their armors during Occlumency lessons in OoTP, as Harry shows curiosity and Snape encourages it, but before they can start to get a fuller picture of one another as people, Harry wrecks it by invading Snape's privacy when he goes into the pensieve. It's integral to the plot - and the big reveal at the end of DH - that these two characters maintain a resentful distance.
If Harry had been sorted into Slytherin, they would have had more of a chance to get to know each other. The same way Harry was told by other Gryffindors as soon as he started school that Snape was strict, mean, and played favorites, if he'd been sorted in Slytherin he would have been influenced by their bias in the other direction, ie. in favor of Snape (and potentially against McGonagall given the rivalry with Gryffindor). Whatever resentment Snape had against James would have had an opportunity to soften over time as he inevitably got to know Harry better.
By his fifth year Harry would have been sitting down with Snape, not McGonagall, to discuss his career ambitions, and as his head of house Snape would have known Harry enough to advise him. We see throughout the books that heads of house like McGonagall pay attention to students even if they don't interact with them all that much directly. Had Snape had the opportunity to do so with Harry, and had he been motivated by his role as his head of house to defend him where necessary, he would have gotten to know Harry as an individual enough that whatever of James that rested in Harry's facial features would have fallen by the wayside.
That's only one part of how Snape relates to Harry, though. He's vocal about James, his friends, and his hatred of them, but he never mentions Lily once. We know Snape is a guarded man who frowns on wearing your heart on your sleeve:
‘I told you to empty yourself of emotion!’ ‘Yeah? Well, I’m finding that hard at the moment,’ Harry snarled. ‘Then you will find yourself easy prey for the Dark Lord!’ said Snape savagely. ‘Fools who wear their hearts proudly on their sleeves, who cannot control their emotions, who wallow in sad memories and allow themselves to be provoked so easily - weak people, in other words - they stand no chance against his powers! He will penetrate your mind with absurd ease, Potter!’ ‘I am not weak,’ said Harry in a low voice, fury now pumping through him so that he thought he might attack Snape in a moment. ‘Then prove it! Master yourself!’ spat Snape.
-Order of the Phoenix, Ch. 24
So it's no surprise that he doesn't mention Lily. He protected Harry at risk to his own life for the sake of honoring Lily's sacrifice. Clearly their friendship meant the world to him and left an impact, and because it's so tied up in emotion for him, Snape never talks about it. He isn't the kind of man to show emotion willingly, as we know. He smirks, he speaks softly when angry, he hisses, and he only loses the tight grip he has on expressing his feelings when he's triggered. There's a fair bit of information on the page about his relationship with James and how he feels about it, and how much of it he projects onto Harry (though I think that diminishes significantly from OotP on, especially after Sirius' death), but nothing at all about Lily except in his very private moments with Dumbledore.
What's even less straightforward is how much of Lily he sees in Harry. I wonder whether this was intentional on the author's part, but I'm curious whether Snape might get angry when Harry sasses him and talks back because his personality is so much like his mother's. So while there isn't much to go on, I think it's interesting to consider whether if Harry had been sorted into Slytherin, Snape might not have seen more of Lily in him given the opportunity to get to know each other a bit, and whether he might not have appreciated that about him.
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echoingbirdsofprey · 2 months ago
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Delicate (Jake's Version)
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18 - I'll Use You As A Focal Point
Pairing: Jake 'Hangman' Seresin x OFC Samantha Kazansky
Rating: Explicit (MDNI!)
Warnings: EMOTIONAL DAMAGE! crappy medical crap sorry, sad!Jake, rude!Bradley, protective measures as applied by Rocco (i'm not kidding wait until you read it), also Jake has A LOT of feelings towards a lot of things.
A/N: THIS IS SO LONG LOL. Not really but there's a lot of detail in here. The Twisters fic and this are almost at the point that they'll actually intersect. Also Bradley is about to get his ass kicked. The emotional weight in this one sneaks up on you, sorry. As always, reblogs, likes, and comments are appreciated! I enjoyed writing this one a hell of a lot!
Tags: @mrsevans90 @djs8891 @gpsmississippihippie
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“I’m sorry.” Bradley said as he stood in the doorway of Jake’s room. He was watching Sam grab a few articles of clothing for Jake so that he could be dressed in his own things. The week had been smooth for Jake and he was feeling much better, still sore, but less tired. Obviously still with broken bones and a somewhat fucked up brain but those would take time to heal. What had not been so smooth was Rooster and Sam's relationship. It seemed like he was only becoming more jealous as the days went by. He would make a comment here or there about Jake and Sam would lose her shit or blow up at him and then he'd be apologizing and trying to make up for it. He just couldn't keep his damn mouth shut.
“No you���re fucking not.” She said and Bradley remembered then exactly why most guys shied away from her. When she was mad or she didn’t want something, she had a nasty temper. “Roos, you’re going to help me like you said and you’re not going to stick around, because if you do, I will kill you. Jake will probably try.” 
“How, he’s crippled.” He said, tracing a finger on the doorway as Sam brushed past him with Jake’s clothes.
“He is not!” Sam’s voice turned over into a somewhat panicked sounding cry that made Bradley whip around.
“Sam, why are you so upset? Is it because he’s not the same? He’s not big, strong, handsome Hangman right now? He’s got his tail tucked and he’s showing his belly to the world..” Bradley said, a harsh edge to his voice that made Sam want to punch him.
“Why are you so intimidated by him, Roos? Is it because he’s everything you aren’t and has everything you want? The talent, the rank, the girl, the future?” She said as she continued walking away and down the stairs. He caught her wrist as she reached the bottom of the stairs. She whirled around, seriously considering rearranging his face.
“Ooh, you know exactly what to say to fucking cut the deepest. I hate that about you Sam. You’re brutal.” Bradley said, a hard stare plastered to his face. 
“If Jake was here right now...” Sam said, trying to pull away but he grabbed her other hand, making her drop the clothing. 
“He’d what? Fight me?” He growled as he got closer into her space. And that was when Rocco had enough. The little red dog came bolting from the kitchen, seeing and hearing that Sam was uncomfortable, launched off the ground and landed a hard bite at Bradley’s knee. He didn’t break the skin, but pinched him enough for him to break the hold he had on Sam. Bradley backed up toward the door as the little dog snarled at him, bouncing and barking ferociously. The hackles on his back stood straight ul making him look bigger than he really was. Sam grabbed him by the collar and picked him up, helping to settle him slightly. He still growled as Bradley kept an eye on him and then glanced at Sam.
“That dog is...” He started and without thinking Sam yelled back at him.
“ALWAYS RIGHT. HE NEVER LIES, BRADLEY. NEVER.” Her face was red and now the puppies had bounded into the entryway, flanking Sam, as if they already knew their jobs. Bradley backed out the door then and Sam swore he had tears in his eyes.
Her heart was pounding and Rocco licked the side of Sam’s face as she hugged him. “Thank you, Roc. You’re a saint.” She said and then placed him down at her feet. He whined, trotted in a small circle and then sat at her feet. Muster, the female puppy, picked up the sweatpants that Sam had dropped and dragged them over to her feet. Sam collapsed onto the floor and put her head in her hands, which prompted all three dogs to converge and offer her affection. She sat there for a few moments before composing herself, wiping tears on her sleeve and picking up Jake’s clothes. Sam led the puppies and Rocco back to the couch and gave them each a treat before heading out of the house.
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“He's going to need to stay in the sling for another few weeks. He should continue taking ibuprofen and we are giving him a lower dose of the antidepressant so that he can be weaned off it. He's mentioned his goal is to be back flying and he cannot be on any daily medication while serving in the Navy. He should keep a journal of when he takes his meds, his heart rate and temp should be taken twice a day, and he will need help bathing with the sling and a little bit after it comes off too, until he gets full range of motion back. I’m recommending he see a Navy assigned therapist once a week and attend a support group, or speak with a veteran once to twice a week.” The doctor explained as Kelsey and Connie prepared Jake to go home. 
They were careful removing his lines after giving him one more dose of each medication. They helped him with his shirt but he begged them to leave him alone so that he could do his own pants. He needed to know he could do something for himself. Sam had made it easy on him by bringing sweatpants. He was sure he wouldn’t be able to get jeans on at the moment. Once he was all set, he walked out of the bathroom and placed his sunglasses on. Sam was emailed instructions and guides on his medications and a timeline that Jake was expected to follow in order to be back up in a jet as soon as possible. They wheeled him through the halls, down the elevator and out to the foyer. 
Sam had parked her truck right out front. The nurses helped her get him in and situated. She glanced back as she hopped in the driver side, waving and thanking them. Jake was quiet as the truck rumbled along. He was trying to focus on his arm and ribs not hitting anything. He glanced over at Sam a few times, noticing she was quiet too. He thought she'd be more talkative. He wanted to talk to her but he didn’t even know where to begin. 
The drive to the house was short and there was no one home. Javy and Maisy had gone out, celebrating the detachment coming home mostly safely. Sam hopped out and didn't give Jake a chance to even open the door. He smirked at her as she helped him down, but before they headed into the house, he stopped her.
“Hey...talk to me..somethings botherin’ you.” He said softly, reaching up to cup her cheek with his free hand. She shook her head and took his hand and led him to the house.
“After you're settled. I have a surprise for you.” She said as they headed through the front door. Rocco and the puppies bounded over and Jake's eyes widened and his smile went all the way up to his eyes. Rocco jumped up, his tail like a helicopter propeller as he stretched and whined, extremely happy to see Jake. Jake bent down and scratched the little dog’s back and then Rocco sneezed and trotted away, stopping at Sam to wag his tail and give her a lick. 
“You bought puppies?” Jake asked as the male, Ballast, pushed his way between Jake and the female puppy. 
“Nope. They were given to us. I have a friend who works with military and police dogs and they donate a dog to a family every year who needs one or would benefit from having one. I was telling her about what happened with you and she and her husband wanted to give us two. One for me, one for you.” Sam explained and Jake picked up the male puppy in his one arm. 
“They’re such pretty little puppies. They have names yet?” He asked as he looked into the puppy’s amber eyes. 
“The one you have is Ballast and the little girl is Muster.” Sam had grabbed the dainty girl puppy, who was quiet and comfortable in her arms.
“What were the rest of their litter mates' names? Jet? Keel? Avast?” Jake chuckled as Ballast reached up and nipped at his chin. “Are they Malinois?”
“You’re so funny, you know that.” Sam said sarcastically. “Yes. They’re very well bred, they just came out the wrong color so they can’t be registered. I said I didn’t care about that. I only care that they’re good dogs and they’ll be loyal and protective.” 
“So...gonna tell me what’s bothering you now?” Jake asked as he bent down to put Ballast down. The puppy pawed at his leg briefly, dug at his boot, and then ran off toward where Rocco and Muster were.
“Rooster...” Sam began and Jake put a hand up.
“I fuckin’ knew somethin’ had you rattled. You look...you look like you’re shut down, honeybun. Like you’ve tapped out...and if I’m responsible for that...” Jake leaned in closer, wrapping his arm around her waist and pulling her in. She gazed up at him with adoration then.
“You’re absolutely not. It’s not you. It’s everything else but you. It’s especially Rooster...he’s been so fucking rude this week. And he tried to...” She said and her sweet smile turned into a heavy frown. Jake reached up and cupped her cheek with his hand.
“Don’t. I don’t want to know. I’ll fucking kill him if you tell me. Just promise me you told him off.” His voice was softer than she expected and it surprised her, making her smile again. Aggression wasn’t what she needed right now, it was comfort. It was reassurance that everything was going to be okay. Just him being there did that for her. 
“Actually...Rocco did. He came running out of nowhere when he heard I was upset and grabbed him. I should learn to listen to that little guy because he’s never liked Rooster.” Sam said and Jake chuckled as he pressed his forehead to hers. His words were slow, and his voice wavered as he spoke, emotions coming to the surface that he didn’t realize were right there until he was expressing them.
“The sad part is...Rooster and I make a good team up there. He just holds onto shit. When I’m up there, I don’t. I’m focused on the mission. And when I’m with you, I’m only thinking about you...Rooster...he’s still thinkin’ about himself. That’s where he went wrong. That’s where every other guy you’ve been with went wrong. Sure, at first, I was out for myself, but now...fuck...now...I just wanna give you everything. You...are everything...to me...You’re all I thought about...You’re the only reason I’m still alive...because I refused to fucking die without seein’ you again. I would die for you, Sam. But I know now, I want to live for you . I need to. You’re the only thing I’ve ever needed. I feel like you’re the other half of my soul that’s been missing and now I’m complete . ”
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“I’ll go talk to your friend, but I ain’t doin’ a fuckin’ group therapy support fuckin’ thing.” Jake said, making Sam’s eyes widen and her lips turn up in a smirk at the fall back to his natural accent. Ballast laid across his lap while he had his head back on the back of the couch. For a puppy, he was surprisingly gentle with Jake. It was as if the puppies and Rocco knew that he was hurting. Then again, they did get enough exercise and play to be able to shut their brains off and relax. Rocco was lying in between Sam and Jake and Muster was cuddled on Sam’s lap.
“I’m not saying you have to. The doctor wanted you to. I think you should do whatever is going to help you the most. Only you know that. Oh...by the way...I spoke to your brother. He suggested we go down there for a while. I didn’t know if that was something you would want to do.” Sam asked and Jake nodded quickly.
“I would really like to do that, yeah. It’d be a nice vacation and you could meet my parents and all that. We are gonna get married after all.” He said with a wide smile. Sam shot a text to Tyler then, asking if they could chat at some point about the logistics of moving Jake down there for a bit. 
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Jake was actually somewhat intimidated. The man walked with a confidence that, at the moment Jake wished he still had, but it was hard to be confident, bark and bite so to speak, with one arm. He could beat someone’s ass if he needed to, but he wasn’t gunning for a fight any time soon. The man’s wife, Margie, was one of Sam’s friends. The one that Sam had acquired the puppies from. Jake was required on his medical leave, that he talk to a veteran at least once a week, to discuss how he was feeling, both mentally and physically, and if there was anything combat related that he wanted to talk about. He also had to see a regular therapist and he was fucking dreading that. 
Ryker shook Jake’s hand and he motioned for Jake to follow him up onto their back deck. Sam and Margie stayed in the yard with Ballast and Muster. As they headed up onto the patio, a well muscled black Malinois stepped toward Ryker, shifted so he was beside him and laid at Ryker’s feet as he sat down. It looked like a well rehearsed dance. He offered Jake a chair diagonally across but close to him. No table in between, just space, so that Jake couldn't hide his body language. Jake glanced at the dog, who had brilliant amber eyes that looked as if they could pierce his soul with that single glance.
“This is your male pup’s dad. Maddox. He’s a good old boy. His mom is my wife’s dog, Canela. She’s her personal protection dog. Never goes anywhere by herself without Canela or one of the boys. Your girl pup is by my retired military dog, Slayer, and out of our other girl, Hanna. Those puppies are pretty special.” Ryker explained and Maddox rolled to the side and yawned, but his eyes never left Jake.
“We really appreciate being able to take them...you sure you don���t want anything for them? Jake asked, leaning forward. As if he was trying to see how Ballast might look when he was all grown up, he examined his dog’s sire. Maddox stared back pointedly, almost bored. He could see right through Jake, just like Sam could.
“Nah. Just bring them with you when you come and chat every week. Part of your healing is gonna be getting those pups trained yourself. Trust me, it helps. You ever work with animals?” Ryker said, adjusting in his seat. Maddox flicked an ear toward him but did not rise. 
“Yeah, when I was a kid, up until I started at the Naval Academy. We had a ranch growing up. My brother rode bulls and roped. I roped and really sucked at working cows.” Jake shook his head and glanced away from them to focus on Sam. She and Margie were playing with the puppies. They had brought Rocco and he was relaxing quietly at the bottom of the deck stairs, watching Sam. Every once in a while he would glance up, looking for Jake.
“Well, cows are pretty unpredictable so don’t beat yourself up. Is Sam gonna come with you every week? I think it’d help if she comes sometimes, but if you don’t want her to, that's okay too.” Ryker asked and Jake nodded.
“I do want her to be involved. I really love her a lot. I feel horrible that I came back as damaged goods...” Jake glanced down at his lap. He fiddled with his Naval Academy ring, twirling it around his finger. Ryker cleared his throat and leaned forward in his seat.
“You're not damaged goods, Jake. You’re brave and you fought for your country. You fought to come home.” He said, folding his hands across his stomach. 
“Doesn’t feel like that...” Jake murmured, leaning back against the chair and wincing. He kept forgetting he had broken ribs.
“Unpack that for me...why?” Ryker’s voice became more gentle then and it made Jake look up at him, raising a brow. He sucked in a breath and for whatever reason, felt one hundred times more comfortable talking about this with Ryker than he did with the therapist.
“I’m just...I don’t feel like myself...” Jake swallowed hard then, and Ryker reached down to brush his fingers against the top of Maddox’s head. 
“Well your confidence and mental health took a big hit. That’s what they do to POWs. I was a POW.” Ryker admitted and then Jake realized why he felt so comfortable with him. Until Jake was home, the pain had clouded his thoughts, but now that everyone wanted him to talk about what happened, he realized he didn’t have the mental fortuity to put it all into words.
“You were?” Jake asked.
“Yup. Afghanistan.” Ryker nodded. Jake examined the man’s face, looking for any sign that talking about it affected him. It didn’t seem to.
“Fuck...” Jake murmured and his brows furrowed in sorrow.
“Fucked me up for a long time...but you know what helped me get through it?” Ryker asked.
“What?” Jake felt like he was about to be on the edge of seat. He hadn’t realized he’d straightened up in his seat. 
“That beautiful women there, and her dogs. My need to protect her overtook everything else. I needed to get better for her.” Ryker pointed to Margie and then he rubbed Maddox’s head a little harder. The dog seemed to enjoy that, pushing back into the man’s hand.
“That’s how I feel. I wanna get better, for Sam.” Jake admitted and Ryker smiled at that. 
“Well then you’re already off to a good start. So...let’s talk about something else for a minute. Tell me why you joined the Navy?” Ryker asked.
“Well...we lost my dad when we were four or five...” Jake sighed heavily.
“We?” Ryker questioned, sitting back in his seat and placing his arms on the armrests of the chair.
“My brother, Tyler and I. And momma obviously.” Jake said, feeling a little sheepish he hadn’t mentioned his mother. 
“Ah, okay. You love your brother a lot. You mentioned him before your mom.” Ryker clocked that immediately. It wasn’t that Jake didn’t love her. He did. But she had a different relationship with him than Tyler did. They were just never as close as he had been with Kenny.
“Yeah. I mean I love my momma but Tyler...He’s...he’s always there when I need him. And I do the same for him.” Jake said and Ryker smiled and nodded for Jake to continue. Ryker tapped Maddox on his shoulders which sent the dog towards Jake. He placed his head on Jake’s knee softly and glanced up with his amber eyes, which had become soft now, less piercing.
“So, my mom remarried. He was a Navy pilot. He was still on active duty for a year or two while we were in middle school and then his jet had a mechanical malfunction on a training exercise...broke his back...so he was discharged and then it was like open season for us. Kenny took us fuckin’ everywhere. He took us to the base, took us to see his friend who worked on freight trains, took us on boats, took us up in his friend’s helicopter, I mean...we just did everything with Kenny...I love Kenny as if he was my actual dad. I know Ty does too, but I think sometimes Ty still misses dad. Not that dad was a bad guy or anything...I just don’t remember much of him. Just kinda feels like Kenny has always been there...so...anyway, sorry...I’m talkin’ too much...” Jake hadn’t realized Maddox had pressed his nose underneath Jake’s free hand. His eyes met the dog’s and he blinked and whined softly as if expressing compassion and interest towards Jake’s story. 
“No, no it’s fine keep on keepin’ on, it’s okay to talk, Jake.” Ryker said, seeing tension fill Jake’s shoulders. Jake took in a deep breath and let it out before continuing. 
“Uh...so...I just wanted to make Kenny proud...and I know I have. But I mean I just wanted to be Kenny when I was a kid...he tells me all the time, you’re better than I ever coulda been kid!” Jake said with a chuckle. 
“Was he a Top Gun pilot?” Ryker asked.
“No, no. He flew everything. Loved the jets, but his favorite was the C-2A Greyhound.” Jake’s smile widened significantly and Ryker saw light come back to the blond that hadn’t been there when they started chatting.
“Cargo man.” Ryker said and Jake nodded happily.
“Yeah, his call sign was ‘Dropper’. Figure that one out.” Jake smiled and Ryker laughed with him.
“Jake, it sounds like you have a great support system.” Ryker affirmed and Jake agreed.
“Yeah...yeah...I do...especially Sam.” Jake’s expression softened and his gaze turned to her. He had been absentmindedly rubbing Maddox’s head and the dog pushed his nose further toward Jake as if he was a friend nudging him and smirking at him for checking out a pretty girl at the bar.
“When did you and Sam meet?” Ryker asked, his voice startling Jake slightly. Jake had been locked on Sam for the moment.
“It’s been less than six months, I know that, but the exact time, I’m tryin’ not to count it.” Jake smirked.
“And you proposed?” Ryker asked.
“Yeah, fast I know, but when I see something I want, I go for it...and like her father said....when you know, you know.” Jake grinned wide. His hand stilled on Maddox’s head as Ryker stood and clapped his hands together.
“Amen to that. Alright Jake...so...one big thing I’d like to put out there before we start doing some stuff with the pups...training these dogs is gonna bring out your emotions...that dog is gonna mirror you...and sometimes, you might not like what you see in the mirror, so be aware of that. Emotions are fine, they’re good, but be cognizant of them and if you need to stop and talk or take a break, we do that as much or as little as you need.” Ryker said and Maddox glanced at him, waiting for a cue. Ryker didn’t give one.
“Yeah, I’m starting to understand why they suggested I talk to someone like you.” Jake confirmed and Maddox put his front paws across Jake’s lap and snuck his head under Jake’s arm. The dog’s amber eyes became more purposeful, as if he could imbue Jake with the confidence he needed to overcome all of this.
“Good. So let’s get started.” Ryker said, giving Maddox a hand signal to come back to him. Jake nodded and stood with a slightly renewed sense of self-assuredness.
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everlastingday · 6 days ago
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favourite fandom memories
thank you @thisbuildinghasfeelings for creating this tag game and for tagging me! 💜
favourite fandom memories tag game post
1 - how tarlos and lone star brought me back to tumblr and fandom after almost a decade
i still kind of feel like a bit of an imposter/outsider since i've only really been on here since late october, i think? i posted my first tarlos fic to ao3 after 5x05 aired, and then shortly after revived this tumblr account from the dead (my last post before then was literally in 2015 lol) because i was just itching for more tarlos and lone star content. rediscovering the joy of being part of a fandom has been such a highlight of the last year for me. it's a little intimidating to join a fandom that seems so tight-knit and already fully formed, but i want to thank anyone who's ever tagged me in anything and made me feel like i was also welcome to join in on the fun and not just lurk from the outside 💜
2 - liveblogging and post-episode analysis
i am a yapper and a rambler at heart and i've loved being able to liveblog the last few episodes and just sit with my feelings and write up my silly little thoughts. something about putting those thoughts into words and throwing them out into the void, even if nobody sees it, makes it such a different experience than just watching the episodes alone. my first post-episode word vomit about the tarlos loft fight will always remain my favourite because it's about them and love and family.
3 - fanfic, obviously
there are SO many talented fic writers in this fandom, i truly feel so blessed. my to-read list continues to grow by the day, and i hope that never stops being the case. i also want to shout out love game by @welcometololaland, which holds a special place in my heart because while it was not my first tarlos fic, it was my first foray into reading tarlos au fics, and the one that made me realize i actually really love au fics in general. i read it for the first time around this time last year, and have reread it so many times since then (and i definitely owe you all the comments lola, i'm so sorry! i promise one of those guest kudos is from me tho 🥲)
anyway let me stop being all in my feels and just say that despite being sad about the show ending soon, i'm so glad i'm not sad about it alone 💜
open tag & no-pressure tagging a few people under the cut!
@heartstringsduet @whatsintheboxmh @nancys-braids @reyesstrand @captain-gillian @lemonlyman-dotcom @bonheur-cafe @carlossreaders @lightningboltreader @eclectic-sassycoweyes @firstprince-history-huh @carlos-in-glasses @nisbanisba @henrygrass @emsprovisions @paperstorm @futures-tense
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adelarsims · 4 months ago
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Embers Academy Spellcasting Tournament: Potions (Group 3)
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potion challenge group 1, group 2
rules:
everyone’s needs are locked. i don’t want anyone to be at a disadvantage because they got stuck in simulation lag or spent all their time in bathroom line with other 31 people
they have 12 hours to learn 3 potions through practice. for each potion learned they get 24 points, plus 1 point for each full half an hour left after the last learned potion
autonomy is off, but if someone decides to leave their cauldron for whatever reason, i let them finish that action that distracted them before returning them to the task. their fault if they’re easily distracted, a spellcaster must have patience and grit
the third group: Belial Rose, Yolanda Bazin, Zinnia Rosier, Rochelle Weaver, Tiger Rain, Minerva Mystic, Constance Gravemore, Natalia Keraloms
everyone already started, but tiger decided to contemplate an empty cauldron for another hour. she still caught up and did very good in the end with the help of her emotional support dragon
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baby belial was the first in her class to score points, she learned two potions back to back on the first hour, and then it took her 11 long hours to learn the third one. she even went to play some ping pong too, but got a grip after that and learned the last potion on the last minute
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that's our little stress corner. constance and minerva side by side (or, rather, butt by butt) doing their best and thinking that they're not doing enough
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meanwhile yolanda is mad at her potion and thinks that she can intimidate it into learning itself by staring at it angrily
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and this is our no stress corner. zinnia is smiling and looking so innocent; smile all you want zinnia, i remember your shady schemes from the previous post!
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rochelle is relaxed, not bothered by the grades at all, just doing what she can without beating herself up over it, and maybe even hums some melody under her breath
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natalia got put back in her student phase with no magic rank and no perks. nooo, not a few more years of university again! she's still incredible in potions though. you can take all perks from the talented alchemist, but you can't take their love for potions
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results:
belial, natalia and tiger - learned three potions each. great work, girls! so proud of belial who pulled herself together after 11 hours plateau, i know how hard it is.
minerva, constance, zinnia, rochelle, and yolanda - learned two potions each, some through stress, some by working at their comfortable pace (and a comfortable thought that if the magic thing won't work out, they also have a shady business, i'm not pointing a finger at anyone specific)
no one learned only one potion or nothing at all! as a whole, this group is the most accomplished :)
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@rainmustfallts4 @lessathxhi @honeysylvan @vampirictrait @piupiowa @eldritch-simmer @merofthefae @mokoszkokosz
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kairismess · 1 year ago
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you're good enough.
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🌻 characters: atsumu miya and tooru oikawa 🍰 genre: slight angst, but also fluff ! ✒️ word count: 745 💭 summary: he's been wanting to meet your family for a while now, but you've always put it off because you fear your mother'll say something unpleasant to your, and his face this time, again. he knows just how much you fear your mother, and instead of letting her degrading and humiliating words get to you... he showers you with all the love he can give and knows you deserve. 🍥 author's note: hey anon !! hoping this is how you wanted the fic :DD i'm sorry if it wasn't that focused on the angsty parts, i really hope this provided you comfort somehow, and to all those who struggle with parental issues like me, you're completely valid; who other people claim you are is not who you totally are and will be as a person. stay strong loves, and enjoy 💗
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sensing the fear in your your voice and watching your eyes darken, he knows something unpleasant came from his words, or at least, the idea and intent behind them. the one thing he never wants to do is hurt you, or in this case, to make you feel helpless and scared. "hey... what's wrong? are you okay, dear?" he asks you, brushing away a stray lock of your hair and gently cupping your face with his larger, calloused yet gentle, palms. your cheeks felt cold against his warm hands, probably because of how anxious and intimidating the thought of him meeting your mother was to you.
nothing good ever came of you bringing close friends or people you fancied home to meet your mother, even if the rest of your family were okay with them, it was your mother specifically that always had a problem with every person you brought to your home; and in a way... with just, you. you never could figure out why your mother was so hard on you often times, she'd make little comments about you that'd sting, be direct about whether or not she liked something you were passionate about, and... would often pressure you, but would always tell you, "it's for your own good."
you didn't know anymore what 'your own good' was, and it made you feel angry about yourself, but you never thought of yourself usually, unless it came to him. he seemed so perfect, so charming, so put together and talented; everything your mother made you feel like you weren't.
you nodded your head hastily, forcing the corners of your lips to curl up into a smile. "...you sure?" he asks you, doubting the credibility of your smile. he's seen you smile many times, but only on a handful of occasions has he ever seen you give him a real smile. he notices the brightness of your smile was barely even there, the way your eyes crinkled up and how your cheeks raised didn't feel natural; he was very keen about the details of your face like that.
your smile soon faltered, and he immediately flashed you a gentle smile of his own, his face softening as his hands dropped down to clasp your hands in his own. "is it about me wanting to meet your mom?" you nod at his question after nearly a minute of silence. he nods in return, there must've been something that made you uncomfortable about that notion.
"well... i know your mom isn't... the nicest, nor the most supportive person in your life, but... if you don't feel brave enough, it's okay. we don't need to go," he reassures you, squeezing your hand in his. "but don't feel like you're an idiot for rejecting the idea, you aren't stupid, not like she says... you're a very understanding person, very loving, so loving that even if she drives you crazy, or if i drive you up a wall and smother you with all my love—you still consider other people's feelings," he told you with a beaming grin, moving his face closer to yours.
his nose brushed against yours as he rubbed the back of your hand with the pads of his fingers, chuckling under his breath. "for every bad thing you're mom, or anyone for that matter, has ever said or done to you... i'll give you every sweet thing you deserve from me, whatever you want, i'll give it; whatever you need... i'll make sure you have it. and of course... i'll keep reminding you of the truth," he tells you as he tilts your chin up with his thumb and looks you in the eye.
"you're beautiful, smart, caring, talented, unique, and worth loving. that's why i pursued you as the only one i'd ever want, sure, we're just teenagers for now, but... i want to reassure you like this not just a day, a week, nor a month from now; but forever, if you'll let me. i can't fully undo some of the damage you might have gotten from her or others, but... i'll help plant good memories in that beautiful garden of your mind, i promise," he murmurs, gently kissing your forehead as you feel the hot tears roll down your cheeks and stain your shirt.
he immediately dotes on you and kisses the corners of your eyes after wiping your tears away. "that's my girl, my beautiful, strong girl, who i'll love for eternity."
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the-cat-and-the-birdie · 1 year ago
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Never mentioned this and this might sound insane but I'm starting to think this so let me know:
I believe that Miguel didn't mean THIS as an offensive move.
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I think THIS happens with every Spider-person intro.
Spider Society is Cultish - but not in the way you may think.
[A MEDIUM HYPOTHESIS post about what the fuck was up with that huge mob that no one reacted to at all.]
So a lot of people have mentioned in the past about these hundreds of people surrounding Miles.
Miguel gives Miles the standard intro - explaining the multiverse and it's connections.
He asks Lyla to do 'the thing' - and none of the information is tailored to Miles. So we know this presentation is a routine thing. The 'explainy' thing Miguel shows to recruits in general.
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Then at the end, suddenly 100s of Spider-people come from seemingly nowhere, surrounding Miles. They don't move or speak. But for some reason they're all there and they came from nowhere.
Originally I believed this was to intimidate or trap Miles. But then I realized
Hobie isn't reacting.
To me, Hobie is more reliable, knowledgeable, and trustworthy character in the scene.
We can assume he wasn't in the conversation with Peter and Gwen - so if this was a planned, sudden, offensive move, he wouldn't know about it.
If Miguel suddenly had people surround Miles without explanation, as an offensive move,
I feel like Hobie would have reacted.
At this point we've established in this moment, Hobie's #1 goal is keeping Miles safe. No matter what.
So 100s of Spider-people surround them in a group - but when we look at him, he's not surprised. He's still relaxed, his focus still on Miguel and not the new additions in the room.
He doesn't even really look at the other people. He doesn't wonder where they've come from and he isn't confronting Miguel for summoning them.
But instead, he doesn't. Nobody reacts. He lets the scene play out.
If this was actually an offensive move:
Then why is Hobie not reacting? Why is Gwen not surprised or nervous?
From what we know of his character, I feel like if this were a sudden offensive move, Hobie would NOT have let Miles handle the situation himself.
Hobie is down for fighting hundreds of people - if anything he's the only Spiderman talented at taking down large battalions of armed people (hoards of cops).
But instead he hangs back, letting Miles handle the situation, because he doesn't consider the hundreds of people a threat (until after Miles breaks out).
So why are they here? And why isn't Hobie reacting/alarmed/angry?
Why is everyone so calm about this mob?
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Because I think they're supposed to be there. I think it's apart of the intro speech.
I know that may sound a little stupid. But.. in the context of what Miguel is trying to actually do, I believe it. And arguably it makes the whole thing worse.
I believe the reason Hobie didn't react is because - it happened to him. That's what they do.
They give you the speech about the multiverse, they show you all the nodes, and the corresponding tragedies -
And then they bring a group of Spider-people to surround and comfort you.
That's fucking creepy.
As a new recruit it would be an effective tool at assimilation.
To have everything explained to you, to be shown your own tragedies and trauma, to be shown others tragedies and trauma -
And then have those people come from the wings at the very end. To hug you and say 'We understand you! You're one of us now!'
Like an initiation. To bring you to your most vulnerable emotionally - and then present you with people who can 'understand'.
Is it bizarre? Yes. But it's it what cults do.... Yeah.
One of the mainstays and foundations of cults are rituals - initiations, welcomings, and inductions.
And closeness between members, a sense of community and vulnerability is one of the first things cults seek to sow within new recruits.
I think Hobie isn't reacting, because it's happened to him before.
I believed that like Miles, Hobie was shown the explainy' thingy, Miguel explained 'Everything' to him, and then at the end, Miguel brought in dozens of people to offer comfort - or to share their stories.
Hobie, Gwen, and Peter were only there because they know Miles/were already with him.
But for someone like Gwen, or a reason recruit, they'd be given this explainer alone most likely. Just them, Miguel, Lyla, and maybe Jess.
So it kinda makes sense that Miguel would have other people come in at the end to vouch for him/share their experiences.
Now, we know Hobie. When Miguel is showing Hobie's past events, Hobie minimizes it and tries to brush it off. Hobie would probably see these people his time around and be like 'pisss offffffff'
But!! I will say, this crowd could also be used for a double purpose - which I think Miguel would know. But from his reaction, no one has tried running before. He seemed genuinely surprised. So I think it's primary function is comfort/initiation ritual.
Do I think Miguel is purposely doing this to manipulate recruits?
Nah.
I don't think he's doing it with the intention of brainwashing. Miguel believes he's being completely reasonable, so brainwashing wouldn't be necessary in his eyes.
Miguel thinks if he can explain it enough, they'll understand (that is, until he accidentally let it slip about the two days thing and even then he continues trying to explain it further).
I think he does this with the intention of building comradery in a fast way, not understanding that just because HE is fine sharing his trauma and showing it to other people over and over again, doesn't mean everyone else does.
He show people a hologram of his daughter dying in his arms then looks at you like
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UMMM SIR???? I JUST GOT HERE. IDEK YOU. IMAGINE HOBIE REACTING TO THAT
Miguel genuinely doesn't understand that's not how you get over shit.
He doesn't understand that because HE likes to overshare and show you his daughter dying (even though reliving said trauma takes a visible toll on him)
- doesn't mean everyone wants to see that, or talk about that, then hug all Kumbaya.
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[Miguel be like ayo u mind if I experienced a deep sense of derealization as I relive one of the worst moments in my entire life in 3rd person then continue like everything is okay iight cool]
I don't think he's doing it maliciously. I think as a traumatized person himself he doesn't understand that... What he's doing isn't therapeutic as he thinks it is.
But because in his eyes, doing this would help the recruit understand and bring people together, he'd do it.
(In my eyes).
But that's still cultish. VERY CULTISH.
Having 100s of strangers surround a teen to intimidate them is weird.
Having 100s of strangers surround a teen to offer them comfort at their most vunerable in an attempt to get them to sympathize with your cause and willfully give up their own free choice is WEIRDER.
THAT'S WEIRD AS FUCK. AND CULTS DO THAT.
that makes me MAD UNCOMFORTABLE thinking about it.
'Sorry ur dad is gonna die. Group hug?'
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Miguel..... Stop employing teenagers. Matter of fact stop talking to teens. Stop talking to other people's kids all together wtf really wtf
But that's just a hypothesis. And this is one I'm very curious and still thinking about really.
But I always questioned the same things - Where did they come from? Why is no one reacting? Why is HOBIE not reacting? How did they know to be there? What was Miguel trying to do?
I feel like the answer 'They're there to scare Miles,' left me with more questions like
'Why is no one reacting? Why is HOBIE in specific, not reacting? Or rather, why is he not visibly surprised?'
But my hypothesis is that
They were there since he started the explainer thingy. There's a door for them to get in, because this is routine. They probably get paged every time he does the intro.
No one is reacting because this is routine. Gwen and Hobie have both had this happen to them, and the crowd is there for a purpose of some sort. Either crowd control, comfort, initiation, or all three.
But what do you think? I'm still baking this one in the dome so to speak.
Why do you think Hobie and Gwen didn't react? What do you think the crowd is there for/how did they get in?
Is this copium, or are you picking up what I'm putting down cause I am SO CURIOUS about this I've ALWAYS QUESTIONED WHY THE HELL WHERE THEY THERE AND IF THIS IS A THREAT WHY ISN'T HOBIE KICKING MIGUEL'S ASS
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circyexistforcontent · 2 years ago
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Sagau with a mitsuri like god?
SAGAU: WITH A LOVING GOD READER
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❀ synopsis: the god of teyvat is finally looking for a consort, and Zhongli just so happens to be the chosen candidate. What will be Xiao's response to this epiphany?
❀ notes: I wanna make headcanons about demon slayer soon, probably once I am done watching the swordsmith village arc. Also this is a bit rushed because I just want to post something before I study for days on end with exams coming by. pls, this is Xiao and Zhongli centered because I'm making my way to Liyue BABY-
❀ pronouns: they/them
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Stories about your strength and benevolence have been shared all around Teyvat. How you have fought countless outer gods and purified multiple worlds from corruption were shared with kids and studied by historians to understand more about your past. But of course, you acolytes are the ones who know just how deep your love runs for your people.
One of them was Xiao. Xiao was one of your followers who got to know you personally, ever since you manage to defeat the tyrant who took control of him. He swore loyalty to you and stood by your side ever since. Small talk was common, and though you have to initiate and carry out the conversation, it was still pleasant.
He makes sure to check that the food you were consuming was safe and not poisoned (as if poison would affect you in any way), and he pressures the cooks to ensure you are only served the best gourmet food. Most of your acolytes know how protective Xiao can be for you so they stay out of your way as much as possible, only communicating with you through gifts and letters that are present in your shrine.
Only a selected few acolytes that can talk to you are the archons. Mostly because Xiao knows he can't defeat them even if he tried, and he wouldn't be a fool to try and intimidate them. He respects the Geo Archon, he can tell he was a very devoted follower of yours and he respects his values. His least favored archon was the Anemo God, though it's more of indifference than dislike.
While he does enjoy the bard's musical talent, all he has ever done is push you away from your work and distract you with little escapades. He has confronted Venti about it multiple times and all he did was shrug off the commotion and skip away.
May Celestia help anyone daring to approach you after you made an announcement that you are finding a consort. They have to go past Xiao first if they want to go to you. He would be supportive of Zhongli being your consort, but something felt off when he proposed the idea to Xiao. He isn't very educated in the ways of feelings, but he can sometimes tell when the emotions are good or bad.
He knows Zhongli is more than worthy to be standing beside you. He should be proud that his Master has found someone like Zhongli, but...why does his heart tell him otherwise? He does his best to shove it down when he watches him hand you a bouquet of qingxins, every time you hold his hand and kiss his face, every time you feed each other Xiangling's latest dish. He doesn't understand, why isn't he happy for the both of you?
Is the problem in him? Why is he like this? He projects his anger towards hilichurl camps before he is left alone to reflect on his feelings. He usually feels like this when he senses something bad is going to happen...is it because the Geo Archon is hiding something? Was something going to happen on the day of the wedding?
Yes, that must be it. The wedding is going to be sabotaged. Or! Or! The wedding must be a scheme to put you in danger. He needs to find a way to postpone the wedding date to find out whats causing him to feel uneasy.
So now it's mostly just him trying to convince you that you don't need to rush the wedding process, while you just sit there for hours straight waiting for him to finish.
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ot7stan4life · 5 months ago
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I Missed You
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Handong (Dreamcatcher) x Female Reader
(1 part - completed ✅)
Word Count: 2500
Summary: With you and Handong both being members of different girl groups, you find it hard to make time for each other. After lengthy international schedules, you’re finally able to reunite and, in a moment of vulnerability, you begin to truly understand the full extent of your feelings for each other.
Warnings: no warnings
Idol cameo: Rosé from Blackpink
"Are you sure it sounds good?" the younger blonde member asked, still unsure of the final product of her solo bside even after the endless reassuring compliments I’d given her in just the past few minutes. "I feel like it's missing something,” she stated and turned in her chair to mess with the sound board. "Maybe I should add-"
"Rosie,” I exclaimed with a laugh. "You're gonna be adding stuff all day if you keep overthinking."
Her hands slowly retreated from the massive panel of buttons and she looked up at me, pouting.
"I promise you it sounds perfect. There’s no need to worry.” I sent her an encouraging smile. “Now is the part of the process where you sit back and appreciate it."
She just nodded with a sigh of resignation and stood up.
"You're right, unnie."
Her feet lead her towards me and she outstretched her arms for a hug.
"Thank you for helping,” she mumbled into my shoulder.
I smiled when she backed away and looked into her eyes to see nothing but sincereity.
"Seriously, I couldn't have finished it without you."
Rolling my eyes, I playfully shoved my best friend. "Now you're just getting all sappy. I did nothing."
The Aussie giggled cutely and grabbed hold of my hands so she didn't stumble backwards.
"Whatever, you know I suck at producing on my own,” she stated a little too easily and I frowned at her degrading comment.
"I'm gonna let that slide because we both know it's not true, but next time I hear you talk about yourself like you're not the most ridiculously talented human being ever, I will beat you up."
My eyes squinted threateningly but she only laughed again.
"Right, like you would hurt a single living thing in your life... you big teddy bear,” she mocked, jabbing her fingers into my stomach.
I swatted her hand away which prompted another laugh from her and I grumbled, "I don't know who's worse... you or Dongie."
The mention of my girlfriend seemed to jog her memory because she suddenly exclaimed, "Oh! Are you going to see her tonight?"
She now had her phone in her hands, busy looking something up.
I took a step closer and replied, "Yeah, why?"
"If you see Yoohyeon, will you tell her to respond to my texts?" Her eyes moved from the nearly empty text thread on the screen of her phone back up to my face. A hint of a frown pulled down the corners of her lips at the mention of the Dreamcatcher member she had been making an effort to befriend.
"You know she's terrified of you, right?" I chucked a little.
“Why?” she exclaimed, seemingly both confused and upset all at once while I continued laughing at her dilemma. "I'm like the least intimidating person alive!"
My laughter grew in volume at that and I had to bite back a remark about how true that statement was.
"Because you're an attractive woman, that’s why,” I smirked, remembering how shy the tallest member of my girlfriend's group was around me when I first started hanging out with them.
Handong had warned me about how panicky Yoohyeon got over pretty girls and said that's likely why she hadn't texted Rosé back, too afraid she would say the wrong thing and make a bad impression.
Rosé just sighed in defeat, probably relating to the girl she wanted to get close to. Really, Yoohyeon reminded me a lot of my best friend. They had tons of similarities, so much so that they could very well be the same person in a different body. I mean, they were even born in the same year... that couldn't be a coincidence.
"I'll tell her you don't bite,” I reassured her, only slightly joking. Still, it seemed to make Rosé happy.
"Good,” she smiled. "Now go have fun with your girlfriend. I know you've been dying to see her."
My smile mirrored hers thinking about how much I've been missing Handong since we've both been overseas and I leaned down to hug my best friend once again.
"Tell her I said hi."
My heart warmed at how supportive she was of my relationship and how she went out of her way to even befriend Dongie. Although Rosé was Korean unlike Handong and I, she was still a foreigner having lived in Australia for most of her life and could relate to us in that sense. Plus Rosie was a friendly person by nature so the friendship between her and Handong grew quickly and smoothly.
"I will."
When the hug was over I gave her one last stern glance.
"You better not spend all night working on that song of yours, you hear me?" I pointed my finger at her to emphasize my words.
"Yeah, yeah." She slowly shook her head with a smile. "And you better not have too much fun with that girlfriend of yours,” she gave her best mom voice.
I saluted her, making her wave me off with a laugh.
"Bye. I'll be back later tonight,” I waved, walking to the door of the studio.
"Alright, byeee-” she dragged out, waving back.
"... as long as I don't get kidnapped,” I added just as I slipped through the door.
I could just faintly hear a 'that's not funny' from the younger girl before I was out of earshot. The reply made me chuckle to myself, thinking about how much she worried over me even when it wasn't necessary.
-
Once I left the company, I went back to my apartment to get dressed. The outfit I chose was nice but not too flashy with the addition of a ball cap, face mask, and sunglasses. Being a member of the most well known girl group in the world came with its perks, but also its downfalls: one of those being the inability to go out in public without getting recognized. Even with the 'disguise,’ it was likely that someone would still notice me. I wouldn't mind it so much if I wasn't afraid of how people would react to me having one on one dinners with Handong.
At this point the general public assumed we were just good friends that bonded over our shared home country and the struggles that came with leaving home and adapting to Korean culture. But I feared the longer we saw each other the more people would start to suspect something deeper between us.
The idea itself didn't bother me, but the inevitable hate that my so called 'fans' would throw at Handong and her members just over the potential rumors was really what worried me. It was something we talked about early on in our friendship, yet Handong always reassured me that she could handle it and that I was worth it. As much as I wanted to argue with her, her clear dedication to our relationship warmed my heart. Plus, maybe I was a little selfish and wanted to keep her in spite of the risks. Either way I'd stand up to my fans and stick up for her if it came down to that and I knew she would do the same for me.
That in mind, I started my drive to Dreamcatcher's dorm, feeling excited about seeing Handong after the month we had been apart. When I arrived, I quickly made my way inside and up to the right level.
After knocking, Minji was the first to greet me with a friendly smile. She asked how I was doing and offered to get me anything from the kitchen, but I politely refused after responding to her greeting.
A couple other members came to see what the commotion was about and Minji left me with them to go fetch Handong.
Yoohyeon had excitedly bounded towards me when she realized it was me (having previously removed my sunglasses and mask) and gave me a hug, telling me how much she missed me.
"I missed you, too," I replied honestly before asking, "Have you been well? How was the tour?" My question was also directed to the maknae who had appeared at Yoohyeon's side to greet me as well.
They both briefly said how much they enjoyed it but how tiring it was before pelting me with compliments about my group's comeback and our VMA performance, saying how cool it was that we got to perform at an American award show and asking about the celebrities we met.
I was overwhelmed by how kind the two were and did my best to answer their questions as I waited for Handong.
As the topic started to shift, I took my opportunity to fulfill my best friend's request.
"You know, Rosé met Taylor Swift while we were there. You should ask her about it some time, Yoohyeon.” I nudged her shoulder with my elbow, raising my eyebrows at her.
She seemed to get what I was hinting at and blushed. "Oh okay- yeah. M-maybe I will." The idea of my member clearly made her flustered and I smiled.
"You should. She's been dying to talk to you," I winked at her which only made the panic worsen.
Just then a familiar voice that made my heart flutter spoke from the distance, "Sorry I kept you waiting, we got finished with practice later than I anticipated."
My eyes finally met those kind, soft brown ones and I felt my cheeks heat up at her appearance. She somehow always looked so elegant and expensive and the black blazer she had on with the necklace I bought her for her birthday earlier this year only further proved that. Her hair was also different than the last time I saw her, now cut into a black shoulder-length two-tone bob with blonde underneath. It somehow made her look older and more mature and I felt my heart rate rise through the roof as I stared at her.
Realizing I probably looked ridiculous in that moment, I closed my mouth and replied, "No, no it's fine. I wasn't waiting that long." My mouth shut with a smile that grew when she looked at me skeptically and chuckled.
"Acting so formal because my members are around," she questioned, "or has it really been that long since we've talked in person?" Her expression was still amused but I could sense that she was also saddened by the last part as much as I was.
"No, I think my brain couldn't believe that the beautiful woman standing in front of me was somehow also my girlfriend,” I said in total honestly, not even trying to be flirtatious.
My words made Yoohyeon squeal beside me even though they weren't directed at her and Gahyun mumbled some exclamation about how she ‘can never seem to get away from it.’
Handong had a different yet predictable reaction, shoving my shoulder and scrunching her nose in mock disgust, yet I could see the pink seep into her cheeks. She liked to pretend that she hated when I said cheesy stuff like that, but I knew she loved it. It always got to her anyways.
"Okay, let's get out of here and away from these pabos." Handong leaned into me but said the last part loud enough to elicit annoyed responses from the two younger members.
I giggled at how their playful behavior resembled the way my members and I joked with one another before bidding them a final farewell. Linking my hand with Handong's, I let her pull me through the doorway and out of their dorm.
When we got into the hallway, she led me to the elevators and pressed the button.
As we waited, she turned to me and put her arms around my neck.
"I missed you,” she finally admitted now that we were alone and looked into my eyes sadly.
My heart sped up and I grabbed her waist to pull her closer.
"I missed you, too." I frowned at her voice and impatiently tilted my head so that my hat didn't hit her forehead before kissing her.
When our lips met, I sighed in relief: her kiss like the first drink of water after a month-long drought. Promotions were especially tiring this time around, but knowing that I would be going back to Handong at the end was the only thing that got me through it.
She started to pull back, but I kissed her again, showing her how much I had really missed her. Her hands grabbed the back of my neck gently and the exhale she let out against my cheek was slightly staggered. Something wet landed on my shirt and it was only then that I realized she was crying.
Alarmed, I pulled back suddenly and examined her face to see fresh tears sliding down her cheeks. By now the elevator had arrived, but I didn't pay it any mind, more concerned about the woman in front of me.
"What's wrong, DongDong?" I asked lightly, but the nickname seemed to make it worse when she whimpered and buried her head in my neck. I held her tighter around her waist and rubbed her back soothingly.
"I'm sorry,” she mumbled into my neck and my heart broke.
"You don't need to apologize, jagi," I whispered and turned to kiss the side of her head.
"I don't mean to cry,” she sniffled, clutching the back of my shirt. "I guess I just didn't realize how much I really missed you."
I felt my own tears starting to form and could only let out a small laugh in response, thinking about how ridiculous we probably looked hugging each other while sobbing in the middle of an empty hallway.
Still, I sucked the tears back in, trying my best to stay strong and comfort her instead.
"Being away from home is never easy either... if you can even really call this home,” I said softly.
She sniffled again and leaned back.
I instantly used my sleeves to wipe the fresh tear stains off her face and she just watched me with a pitiful smile. Once I rid all the stray tears from underneath her chin, she pulled me forward and gently slid my hat off to rest her forehead on mine.
"You are my home,” she told me simply, yet nothing about that statement was simple.
Nothing in the meaning or the way it made me feel. It was better than 'I love you,’ because it meant I was the one she felt safe and comfortable with. Even more than her family back in China. It meant that I was her forever. And that made me feel the most love I had ever felt in my life. From her and for her. Because I knew she was mine too. She was the only one I ever wanted to go back to. The one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.
So, I said the same back to her and I kissed her knowing that, though it was the first after a long time, it certainly would not be the last.
**This imagine was transferred over from my Wattpad acc OT5Stan4Life**
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