#i'm starting a new tag for when i fucking rant

[helianskies]

ugly maths.

i hate maths, right. i don't usually like numbers, and if i do like numbers it's gotta be an 8 or a 48 and nothing else.

thing is, i've recently caught myself doing maths again. ugly maths. the kind of maths that, really, i've been trying to avoid as much as possible because, well, it's ugly!

you... wanna see?

okay, fine... but don't say i didn't warn you!

ugly, see? look at all those numbers! not a 48 in sight!

huh? what's that? you don't see what i'm on about? oh... oh! hang on, lemme just—

better? yes? no? no? okay, what if i—

mmh, yes. ugly numbers. see it now? can you see why they're ugly?

here, i can make it worse.

these numbers are ugly. the maths they make me do is ugly.

now i'll level with you: the worst ones by far are the yellow numbers. the maths they make me do it the ugliest.

why ugly?

because it makes me ugly.

those numbers turn me into not only a suddenly number-obsessed fool, but a fool who also cannot understand these numbers and what they mean and why i feel like they reflect on me and my ability.

87, 75.

the thoughts are as follows:

• the orange numbers are big, so why are you being ugly about the yellow ones? you should be happy with what you have. so many nice big numbers! not everyone receives that.

• is it that there are two different audiences for these two different fics? perhaps. they are quite different works, with different appeals, and different themes. maybe you are reading too much into it.

• why are you obsessing over numbers anyway? you don't like maths! you left maths behind when you were 16, put it down!

okay, okay, fine! i'll put the maths down. right here, in fact!:

that 87 was an 83 at the start of the year. the 6161 it is attached to was a 5453.

4, 708.

ugly maths.

the 75 is a nice number. in fact, compared to 87, it is beautiful, radiant, enchanting. at the start of the year, 75 was 48. wow. now that is one sexy number!

27.

mmmm.

6161, 1061.

5100.

87, 75.

12.

mmmm.

you know, my most favourite comment left recently on a fic of mine was 2 characters long: :(

it made me :)

well, actually, it made me >:) because it was left in response, presumably, to one of the key scenes in a new chapter which left the exact impression on someone that i hoped it would.

they must be the only one who reacted like that, though.

1.

have i mentioned that that 87 and 75 include author responses?

i won't try to do more maths, there. it might not end well for me. the maths is making me tired enough as it is, and i have an early start tomorrow.

oh! but, that being said, i have another set of ugly numbers to show you, so keep 87 and 75 in mind.

ready?

838, 245.

(want a hint? the green numbers!)

838, 87. 245, 75.

9.6, 3.3.

ugly maths. it's ugly again, see? i don't like it. i'm seeing numbers within numbers within numbers, and i can't seem to stop!

the numbers make me ask new questions:

• why is it not good enough?

• people seem to engage more with one fic over the other, so shouldn't you prioritise?

• is all this maths this really good for you?

no, it isn't.

i want to avoid ugly maths. ugly maths makes me want to tear my hair out. it makes me want to start from scratch. it makes me want to grab someone and scream. it makes me want to cry and press a button that has tempted me many times before when the numbers become too ugly to bear.

ugly maths turn me into an ugly person.

ugly maths make me obsessive, paranoid, anxious, regretful, vindictive, spiteful, alone.

i hate maths. i hate numbers, just like, it feels, the numbers hate me.

[storiedhistories]

Am I still pretty much on hiatus? Yup. But right now, I need to write something to get the feelings out, SO.

Like this post for a positive paternal starter from one of the many dads I have! That would be: Adama, The Doctor, Goliath, Macbeth, Tom Dupain, Hades, Hank, Kratos, Thor, or Joel.

[sooouth]

guess who failed at drawing skeletons.

[limoneads]

some guy at work tried to explain sci fi to me and proceeded to get it fucking wrong i'm cackling i think i just got mansplained

[asiananeurysm]

🙃

[amplexadversary]

.

[chipped-chimera]

I think the large part of the reason why people get extra pedantic about those with mental illness engaging in self-destructive coping mechanisms (because that's what all of these are! Coping mechanisms! Even for those who are not 'mentally ill') is because it is loudly showing the symptom of a larger problem - that society at large has let this individual down, and badly.

Mental health attitudes have improved a lot over the recent years, but there is a certain kind of bitterness around it for me as someone who has been living with mental health issues 'officially' for 14 years (but arguably might have been my whole life) to see governments (or mine at least) finally sit up and throw more resources into mental health support services post pandemic because they KNOW it's going to have a lasting knock on effect.

Like I am glad it is happening. I am glad there is more support. But at the same time I'm wondering where was this 15 years ago when I was diagnosed with depression which would turn out to be treatment resistant over the years? Where was the care that could have gotten me out of the hole I was in and identified root issues, instead of me largely having to figure out that shit myself at 30? Where is the financial offset for the really expensive treatment I now have to get just as a last ditch effort before literal BRAIN SURGERY just so I can fucking live as someone below the poverty line? Where is recognition of the fact that every medication I have to take to keep myself stable enough to keep going is basically life support and I shouldn't have to PAY just to keep my will to live?

I know my government has launched multiple different programs over the years to try and drive down the suicide rate, but it's never put a dent in it - in fact in recent years it's getting worse. And that's because they only treat the symptom, not the problem.

Highly distressed people show up to hospitals regularly requesting to be admitted for their own safety, and if they aren't turned away (I have read some SHIT let me tell you) or abused within that system that's supposed to help them (... again, I have read some shit) once they're 'recovered' they're turfed out into the world, right back into the same situations that made them so distressed in the first place.

Neurotypical people who are 'mentally well' only get so bent out of shape over those who are highly depressed or distressed engaging in self destructive behaviour because it is in a way showing them that they have failed. They have in some way, let us down. That they did not care enough. While that distressed person is engaging in self-destructive coping mechanisms to try and self soothe or just hold on to their scrap of life by a thread - they tell us to knock it off because they can't sit with the discomfort. We're inconveniencing THEM by just trying to fucking survive.

Any depressed person has the potential to reach that end point, and unless we actually sit the fuck up collectively and get our shit together, address the REASONS people are depressed like discrimination, ableism, racism, poverty etc. nothing is going to change. Telling someone to 'knock it off because you're making me uncomfortable' isn't going to solve shit. It's only going to make it worse.

Because right now when someone has depression? That's sad. But when someone commits suicide? Now it's a tragedy.

Depression was ALWAYS a tragedy of society. And it shouldn't take someone hitting the point of self harm or death for it to be taken seriously.

Some people really hate the idea of mentally ill people fucking up or making choices that damage ourselves and it's so exhausting. So many people talk about how people should be able to make choices about their own body until it's mentally ill people self-harming, or doing drugs/alcohol, not taking meds, doing things generally considered "unhealthy" and then they decide no, actually, people should be able to take control of your right to make decisions about your body because people deemed "mentally ill" just can't be trusted.

Somehow we're not allowed to do things that bother other people, or hurt our bodies, even if other people do shit like that all the time. Somehow people considered "sane" can exercise to the point of making themselves ill, can drink and "occasionally" do drugs, can refuse to take medicine and even self-harm in ways but we're often not allowed to without someone threatening to violate our right to decide about our bodies. Because we don't understand consequences or we "might kill ourselves" but it's so ridiculous.

Like yes, we might kill ourselves. We might fuck ourselves up. We might destroy our entire lives. And? People do that! It happens! It's part of living. People do dangerous shit, people fuck up, people hurt themselves. It's not like we're the only ones who do that but even if we were, you can't puppet other people's lives just because they're living them differently.

Not without violating their right to make decisions about their body. Not without being involved in a violent system that destroys mental health and bodily autonomy. Not without being a part of a violent system that will try to make sure no one is ever free.

[fairlyang]

Santa tell me ⚔️

w/c: 1.3K

pairing: wade wilson x f!reader

tags: 18+ smut. wade in a santa suit, barely roleplay, wade is a freaky frog, dry humping , grinding against him, yapping your ear off, dirty talk, praise

taglist: @reader-1290

smutmas masterlist | main masterlist

wade was never one to reject roleplaying in bed, it was one of his favorite things to do. so of fucking course, once the holidays rolled in he knew he had to put on the big fat man's red suit. 

there he was in all his glory with a santa suit and his deadpool suit just because he felt like it made sense to have both on. 

you were sat on his lap, in a tight red dress matching his santa suit because he couldn't be the only one dressed up. "so what do you want for christmas, gorgeous, beautiful girl i have never seen before?" 

you bit your lip, looking at him and trying not to laugh, "honestly a handful of things santa.."

"wow now we're getting greedy on good ole saint nick huh? alright, c'mon lay 'em on me, princess." he responds, his gloved hand snaking your waist and slowly going down to your ass.

"a new car would be nice… just so i don't have to hear my odyssey die on me every other day." you say while giving him a somewhat serious look only for him to break and scoff, "well who warned you about that piece of shit dumb excuse of a vehicle..."

"santa, i'm not sure i know what you're on about…" you joke, making him clear his throat. 

“what i meant to say was… what else?” he says through gritted teeth. 

“maybe one of those stuffed animals you can microwave, just for fun…” you respond with a smile making him chuckle. 

“kind of sadistic but okay.. santa doesn’t judge.” he mumbles and you cover your mouth to stifle a laugh back. 

“oh and one more thing…. i’d like for my boyfriend to stay home more often. it’s getting tiring to only be able to see him once a week at best and when he does come home, he’s always carrying a limb and staining our floors.” you say then slowly start going on a rant.

you took a deep breath for dramatic effect, then finally speak up after a few seconds, “so, santa tell me, can you give me these things?” 

he was quiet, too quiet for your liking until he nodded and took off the fake beard, throwing it behind him. you reached over for his own mask wanting him to take that one off as well. he grabbed his santa hat, handing it to you then taking his mask off. you put the santa hat back on his head and you get off his lap, only to climb back on, straddling him, "can definitely do a few of those for you princess."

"yeah? about fucking time baby." you murmur and bring your hands to his shoulders to help you. 

you make sure you're directly on his hard on, only barely swaying your hips back and forth, watching him let out a sigh as you feel his hands on your hips. "fuck.. just like that cupcake." 

you press yourself harder against him, now grinding on him properly as he lays back into the couch, “promise i’ll try to be here more, just tryna get all the money you deserve to live lavishly, sweet pea.” he coos making you shiver and bite your lip. 

his hands gripped your hips, guiding you while you brought one hand down to lift your dress over your ass. his hands immediately dropped down to grope you, not paying any attention to the santa themed thong you were wearing, “you should always be on santa’s lap with that ass, oh my fucking god.” 

you shake your head and laugh making him grin up at you, “think you can do that for me?” 

you nod and he lifts a hand up to smack your ass, “good girl, now don’t stop baby.” 

his pants were soft and since you were already soaking through your panties it was easier to grind against him. unfortunately for him, he had two layers of pants so he wouldn't be able to feel it like he usually does. but he was too busy moaning to notice and yet again, yapping his heart out while you moved faster, "fuck this is even better than that one time i was groping you in the victoria's secret changing room, god those fucking bras will always do it for me. no fucking wonder you love those and goddd the thongs- this one's real festive baby, glad i'm not the only one playing along."  

"baby that was two days ago.." you mutter and he shrugs, "still. i loved that day and you know how much i love playing with you in public." 

"oh i know." you chuckle and lean closer to his face, your movements not at all stopping.

"remember when we fucked on the balcony of the hotel we stayed at?" he asked and you hummed, "which one?"

he groans and you feel him twitch beneath you making you clench, prompting you both to moan, "fuck!"

"w-which one baby?" you ask and he gulps, all of a sudden losing his train of thought as his hands went back to your hips. 

the small fabric of the thong was drenched and it was getting harder to grind just because it was so slippery. you stopped for a singular second, quickly bringing a hand down to move it to the side then place yourself right on his leaking cock. you went back to the same pace and his moans filled your ears, "i didn't hear you respond, cupcake." you murmur inches away from his lips and he just twitches yet again. 

"mexico, definitely mexico. or paris." he quickly responds and you nod, "both were good, great views." 

"especially from my end." he mutters, making you whine. 

"yeah you remember me fucking you from behind princess? making sure we looked at the view to get our money's worth." he coos and you nod, feeling the sensation of your orgasm building up. 

"like thinking back to it baby? lord knows i do when I'm out working and jerking my cock at night thinking of you. im fucking always thinking of you." he rambles, hands roaming up and down your back while you lean you head against his.

"fuck baby- you really know what gets my gears going huh?" you joke and he eagerly nods. 

you felt his cock twitching and his breathing was becoming heavier meanwhile your legs were almost giving up on you but you had to fight the pain in your thighs. you kiss his nose then move to the right until you got to his ear, "think we need to do that again soon." you whisper and he groans.

“oh my god stop- you’re gonna make me come and this is a rental!!” he whines, making you smirk.

"you sure? i'm so close and you are too….." you tease, pulling back and slowing down just for the sake of seeing his reaction.

“fucking shit baby- never mind. keep going cowgirl, don't fucking stop.” he moaned and you did. 

you reached up and stole his santa hat before putting it on and then finally leaning in to kiss him. he kissed back immediately, greedy and sliding his tongue inside your mouth while you both quickly came at the same time, holding each other for comfort. you stopped and felt your legs shaking crazier than usual, while you were whining and whimpering into his mouth because the pleasure was just too good. 

he held you tightly, his hands running up and down your back to help soothe you while you buried your face to his chest and hands rubbing his chest and shoulders. you were both trying to catch your breath when his hand stayed on your head, gently stroking it then began to whisper, "promise i'll be here more often."

"with all your limbs intact?" you whispered back making him chuckle and nod, "yeah we'll have to see about that one sweet pea…" 

[rizsu]

"suguru, shoko... it's been nice knowing you guys. i always loved you both. please, tell y/n i loved her too, yeah?"

it's a tense moment. after satoru received your social medias, he did some snooping around and found the harsh truth — or so he calls it. comparing himself to what he found did nothing but install a depressing, hallow sadness into his system.

"satoru, get the fuck down from that chair," shoko's having none of it. the moment she glimpsed group-chat's notification she practically teleported to satoru's. her heart dropped, palms got sweaty, throat dry at the thought of satoru ending his life. when she arrived, suguru was already there, weeping for his dear friend's life.

it must've been serious, right? it wasn't.

what came into her vision was a grown, silver-headed man standing on his desk chair. around his neck held one of his ties. now, this is where it got unserious. everything seemed true until shoko's eyes traveled to satoru's neck. his tie was wrapped around it with his very own hand holding the longer piece of the tie.

in short, he's fucking dramatic. suguru doesn't fall far, too. it must be hard on shoko for being the only one with a decent brain... kind of.

"shoko, how can you be so... so mean?! he's dying over there! your own friend!" suguru wipes his tears, furious at his other friend's own indifference to such a sight.

"don't," she begins, walking to satoru's position to kick him off the chair. "don't piss me off."

satoru's now on the floor; laying on his back, body straight, arms clasped on top his stomach. this must signal his final moments. it's peaceful in his mind.

"satoru, i swear to god. get the fuck off that floor." she nudges his body with the front of her shoes, eyes twitching at the foolishness.

it takes a mere minute before satoru's tired of ignoring the obnoxious foot harming his body. so he sits up, hanging his head low.

"i just can't, y'know? it hurts," his voice cracks, radiating sadness throughout the room. his words receive two varying responses.

from suguru: "it's okay, satoru. there are many other fishes in the sea."

from shoko: "this is why you mind your business sometimes."

at shoko's response, he sighs loudly, "it won't kill you to be nice, shoko ieiri."

she sits on his bed, placing a pillow on her lap, fixing her posture, and re-positioning her imaginary glasses. "well then, satoru. tell me what you felt, what you saw, and what you think. you can let it all out to doctor shoko."

suguru stifles a laugh, eyes switching between shoko's new persona and satoru's defeated expression.

"okay, doctor shoko. i felt horrible — no, nauseous. i went through her followings and saw that she follows other men. she knows other men. i'm sick to my stomach," his rant begins. it all started when he decided to go through your profile. this meant snooping through followers, followings, tagged photos, and even comments. you both are in — what the youngsters call it — a talking stage.

there are no labels within this relationship, nor are there any confirmed feelings but this? this betrayal? what do you mean he's not the first man on your profile? this is devilish. all went well until he saw one specific comment that said: "baby you're so sexy ily," to which you replied: "i love you more."

the fiend ( as he calls them ) had the profile photo of a man. when he did the internal math, the unbearable truth was found. he is not the only one you're talking to. he feels hurt.

suguru, too, shares his friend's pain. shoko, however, doesn't. why? it's because the commenter was in fact not a man. had satoru did deeper research, he'd have known that the profile photo is the famous singer the weeknd, and the profile belongs to one of your girls who's a diehard fan of him. well, who's shoko to tell the truth? she'll wait for satoru to come to a realization.

[average-hyperfixator]

This is probably the weirdest way to show that I'm in the Mouthwashing fandom, and like nobody is going to see this BUT

If I see ONE MORE person compare Ted to Jimmy I'm going to LOSE MY FUCKING MIND. Is this another testament to people not understanding Ted's overall role in the story and his character arc? YES, YES IT IS. RE READ THE BOOK. RE LISTEN TO THE RADIO DRAMA. GAME IS IT'S OWN CONVERSATION THAT WILL TAKE TOO LONG FOR ME TO DISECT + IT HAS IT'S OWN STORY AND THUS WILL NOT BE INCLUDED HERE.

Jimmy is a jealous man, who assaults (and unfortunately impregnates) Anya, and then tries to crash the ship so he doesn't have to deal with the consequences, and when everyone lives, they live in misery BECAUSE OF HIM. He is the co-pilot, he has more power and authority over the others, and he ACTIVELY makes things worse, and is at fault for the crash and the subsequent fallout. (this section is shorter, simply because I've been in the IHNMAIMS fandom much longer and have way more thoughts on Ted) Ted, on the other hand, is not at fault for the world ending. He is just as trapped as the other five, he's more prone to mental manipulation and THINKING he's better off, but he really isn't. He doesn't have more power of the others because he's also a victim. He is by no means a great guy, or even a good guy; They key difference is that at the end of his story, the book, he actually fucking HELPS. Rather than make his friends continue to live in misery, he puts them out of it, and rather than end his own suffering, he spends those precious few seconds he could be ramming an icicle into himself, comforting Ellen as she dies. It doesn't make up for what he's thought and said, BUT, it's something at least. It's remorse, it's letting her finally be content, it's trying to give her the empathy she showed him time and time again. And he gets turned into a horrid slug creature after, he actively suffers more than everyone else for the rest of time- he self sacrifices so his friends could be at peace. TLDR: Jimmy is objectively selfish and doesn't change much throughout the game, save for MAYBE the very end (ig putting Curly in the pod is one brownie point for him) however Ted actually shows growth by the end of the story, and makes a point to end the suffering of his friends, while ultimately sacrificing himself in the process. If I catch another person equating these two I'm just gonna start throwing hammers at them I DON'T CARE. I am THE Ted defender, and I WILL stand my ground that, while he is no where near perfect, he DOES become a better person by the end of the story and deserves to have that acknowledged. anyway this has been sick rants with me, feel free to add on in reblogs or perchance spark a FRIENDLY debate. I apologize if I come off rude here, Ted and IHNMAIMS have been a hyperfixation of mine for months and I am very easily riled up about the story and characters. adding new tag ; Jace rants 🗯️ ! For all my ranting escapades from now on.

[sanjisboyfie]

one piece smau: dating eustass kid edition

-> male reader <333 + kid is so unhinged but this is how i truly believe he'd act on social media to be really real + also him being the definition of "i'm mean to everyone but u"

-> nsfw (mentioned and implied)

liked by dr.law, k1ller, and 7k others

iloveeustass: this is crazy he's actually doing the work instead of trying to kill a random passerby

tagged: [name]s.man

[name]s.man: if it's not you, i could honeslty care less on how i treat other people

-> k1ller: this is definitely not how u shd be living life

-> h34ttt_: and u wonder why no one outside of our friendgroup likes u

-> [name]s.man: i've never wondered this, i don't need other ppl to like me when i already have a wonderful boyfriend to call mine who very much likes me.

uso_pp: how a sweetheart like [name] is compatible with an ASSHOLE REPULSIVE AND RUDE man is beyond me. but as long as he's happy !!!

-> iloveeustass: he's not as bad as everyone says i swearrrrr

-> uso_pp: that's only cuz u don't have to suffer like the rest of us [name]. ur mans is fuckinhg terrifying to be around

[liked by dni_nami, bonneys.jewels, and 120 others]

liked by h34ttt_, k1ller, iloveeustass, and 10k others

[name]s.man: i lovveeeee my possessive boyfriend

tagged: iloveeustass

iloveeustass: you're the exact same way pls what is this post

-> [name]s.man: match made in heaven

dr.law: do u have to constantly post abt ur relationship eustass?

-> [name]s.man: someone here is just jealousssss

dni_nami: thankful everyday that we don't see each other at school i think id rather kms than see ur nasty ass (not [name] though, pls tell him we all miss him <3)

[liked by roro.zoro, uso_pp, and 40 others]

-> [name]s.man: WHAT TH FUCK IS THIS

-> iloveeustass: aww i miss u guys too nami hopefully we can hang soon

-> dni_nami: ofc! jus dont bring ur stinky boyfriend

-> [name]s.man: DONT IGNORE ME UNDER MY OWN POST

liked by iloveeustass, bonneys.jewels, and 11k others

k1ller: someone save me they're gonna start eating each other

tagged: iloveeustass and [name]s.man

bonneys.jewels: i ran away from them the moment i saw kid's lipstick on his face

-> [name]s.man: u guys are acting like we fucked on the couch and made everyone watch

-> bonneys.jewels: that's not what u guys were doing? i could've sworn ur pants were off or smth

-> [name]s.man: u fucking liar wtfff

h34ttt_: a business meeting and they couldn't be serious for a second of it.

-> iloveeustass: wym me and kid were very serious???

-> h34ttt_: serious in trying to suck each other off in front of everyone??? yeah. u two were very serious

dr.law: knew i made the right decision in staying home

[liked by k1ller, bonneys.jewels, and 90 others]

liked by dr.law, iloveeustass, dni_nami, and 11k others

bonneys.jewels: thank god [name] and kid started dating because kid's outfits have gotten monumentally better

tagged: [name]s.man and iloveeustass

iloveeustass: those leopard print pants he owned....

-> bonneys.jewels: tell me u burned them

-> iloveeustass: burned them and threw their ashes in the ocean

[name]s.man: i'll excuse u posting these photos of us without my permissions solely because he looks so good in these wowowwww

-> k1ller: [name] existing saving us from hearing kid rant for hours on end about smth unimportant <3 thank god

godfatherbege: eustass' fashion was always questionable to me, i assumed all kids your age dressed purposely terrible

[liked by hawk_ins, dr.law, and 100 others]

-> iloveeustass: LMDOOAOD BEGE IM DEAD

-> [name]s.man: don't show your face to me ever again bege or i'll kill you

liked by freeluffy, [name]s.man, and 12k others

iloveeustass: his new haircut is so sexy oh my god

tagged: [name]s.man

[name]s.man: i'm gonna have sex with you in front of everyone

-> k1ller: no fucking thank u

-> h34ttt_: OH MY GOOOOOODDDD a day of peace woujld be great thanks

freeluffy: OOOOO was the food yummy guys???

-> [name]s.man: fuck off my boyfriend's instagram bastard

-> iloveeustass: it was rlly good luffy <333 i know you would've love their steak, i highly reccommend!!!

xxxdrake: i bet kid didn't even pay for half off of the bill, his broke ass

-> [name]s.man: I PAID FOR THE ENTIRE MEAL??? WAT IS UR ISSUE DO U WNAT TO FIGHT OR SMETHING

-> uso_pp: FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT [liked by dni_nami, robinkills, and 90 others]

liked by freeluffy, iloveeustass, and 13k others

dr.law: all these two do is sit in a corner and bully ppl on their phone

tagged: [name]s.man and iloveeustass

iloveeustass: it's only kid that makes fun of ppl i'm the one telling him to stop

-> dr.law: fine i'll give u that one

[name]s.man: all i'm saying is - if you're not [name] why on earth should i b nice to u

-> dni_nami: a somewhat respectable trait to have

-> princesanji: NAMMIIII I WOULD DEFAME ANY PERSON YOU WNATED ME TO IF IT MEANS I COULD WIN YOUR FAVOORRR

freeluffy: not true traofoyyy ! me and [name] played supermario kart :)

-> iloveeustass: and i won all of the races >:)

-> freeluffy: NEXT TIME I'LL BEAT U [NAMEEEE]

-> [name]s.man: why is he flirting with my boyfriend right in front of me

iloveeustass' story:

stole his lipstick just for this pic

[name]s.man replied to your story: we should both wear my lipstick the next time we have sex it'll b like a painting

[amiizuki]

it will be forever funny to me how the flashback portraits of Wittebrothers made Caleb seem like he's had packing peanuts for a brain

(this post ended up becoming quite lengthy, and so did the tags somehow, because I kinda devolved into a rant closer to the end of writing this whole thing, so bear with me here)

so we know that Philip and Caleb became orphans when both of them were still kids. after that, they ended up in Gravesfield and, to fit in with everyone else who lived there, picked up witch hunting and started thinking that witches are pure evil. Caleb knew perfectly well that he's the only family Philip's had left and that he even may be his his only friend, since, judging by the portraits, they've only ever hung out with each other and we don't know if those two ever made any other actual friends.

until one day, during a witch hunt he and Philip were both a part in (something Caleb seemed happy to do, judging by his smirk there), he met a witch – Evelyn – someone he's been taught to hate and want dead by the townsfolk. someone who, again, in his mind, should be evil.

but he just suddenly does a 180 and goes "damn, you can make fire with your hands, you're actually pretty cool"

and then a few days (?) of talking to her later, he's running off to live with her in the Demon Realm, while simultaneously not giving a single fuck about the brother he's abandoning.

(he even runs off with a smile, with a literal :D face, I fucking can't lmao)

Philip ends up seeing Caleb get dragged off through a weird portal and later follows along, thinking something like "no, my brother wouldn't just up and abandon me without saying anything. he probably got captured by that witch we saw together that one time! she probably used some demon magic to bewitch Caleb and took him through that portal to kill him or worse! I gotta go save him!". and, after spending god knows how long in that realm, searching endlessly for his missing older brother, he eventually finds him. but he also finds that Caleb is not only perfectly okay and not hurt in the slightest, he's also peacefully walking together with the same witch who "captured" him, even holding hands with her.

and when enraged Philip tries to attack Evelyn, to protect Caleb from the witch who took him from his home, from his brother, still thinking that Caleb's under her control, Caleb just... gives him a hug and goes on to introduce the witch as his new wife to him (I'm assuming that portrait is the same day as the other three, if not the same scene), also adding on top of that that they're having a child. all as if nothing happened. treating the whole thing like everything's perfectly okay and just another normal day, fully ignoring the fact that he threw his brother away with no care or thought, leaving him completely alone, a full orphan, now with zero actual family left (in TTT, during their backstory, it's said that "Caleb did his best to take care of his younger brother", meaning that either they never got adopted in Gravesfield, or whoever adopted them didn't give a shit about the two, so they still mostly had to fend for themselves), all to go smash some random 5 out of 10 witchussy he talked to, like, 3 times. no fucking wonder Philip killed him!

(btw, jokes aside, it didn't seem like he intended to kill Caleb, because in that portrait where he's ready to kill with a knife in his hand, he's facing forward, while Caleb is actually to his left. so it just looks to me like Philip was gonna try to kill Evelyn again, and Caleb either jumped in front of her to protect her and got accidentally stabbed or he attacked Philip back, to, again, protect Evelyn, and Philip ended up winning that fight. but that's just my theory)

my brother in literal christ and literal titan – why in the FUCK are you just hugging it out with a smile on your face??? you ran off while giving absolutely no warning to anyone, especially your younger brother! why do you think he's here and actively trying to attack you and your new wife? you're not even trying to address the fact that you left him! at least when Luz ran off to a different realm without warning, she had a "I'm still at the camp" cover, so Camila wouldn't worry that much about where her daughter is, and even then she still felt bad for leaving her mother and planned to go back home once summer was over. this chucklefuck, on the other hand, just permanently portaled away to the Boiling Isles, knocked up a witch and fully settled down there, walking around with a big ol' smile and no care in the world. "Philip who? never heard of him"

the only thing that would sorta make this situation seem better (as in, not make Caleb seem like an overly naive ignorant brick), in my opinion, is if they added one more portrait – after the one where he meets the witch, but before the one where he leaves. in that portrait, Caleb would look like he's trying his best to convince Philip that witches aren't actually evil, and perhaps even try to get him to go live with them in the Demon Realm, all the while Philip's looking at him with either disagreement/disappointment/disgust or just rolling his eyes and full on ignoring him, while sharpening his witch hunt tools or something. then it would look like Caleb at least tried to make his brother change his mind, like he tried to offer him a chance to go with them. but no. with the way the portraits look in the final version it just seems like Caleb was fully on-board with killing witches since he was young, even pulling his younger brother along to think the same way, Philip also thought that Caleb was perfectly fine with killing witches, but once he actually meets a real witch (assuming they've never met one before) he instantly pulls an uno reverse card and just runs off with her, without so much as telling his brother beforehand.

I'm not trying to say that "Belos should've been redeemed, because he's the victim here and Caleb is bad and it's all his fault". he still murdered his brother and went on to manipulate everyone on Boiling Isles for centuries, with his end goal being the death of all witches, while simultaneously being stuck in the loop of "denial" and "bargaining" stages of grief – repeatedly trying and failing to recreate a perfect copy of Caleb, but also killing each one that came out wrong or went against him. Belos not being redeemed in the end was the right choice (ignoring the "Belos was always le bad" from King's dad), I agree with that. frankly, if he actually got redeemed in the end, I'd probably be seething for the next 3 to 5 years, like how I did after the Diamonds' "redemptions" in SU (yes I'm still pissed about that lol). I'm just saying that, from what was shown to us, Caleb didn't seem like that good of a person either, not as bad as Belos ended up being, but still not that great. and, once again, seemingly had a raisin for a brain.

(off topic, but during Masha's retelling of Wittebane's backstory, their "sounds like big bro got a hot witch girlfriend and little bro got upset" line was so fucking cringe, it gave me a fever for 3 days the first time I watched the episode)

k, rant over, I dunno what else to add

TL;DR: I think Caleb was dumb as a brick, because, from what was shown to us in their backstory, he seemed to have run off to Demon Realm and abandon Philip without telling him anything beforehand. when Philip came to BI to look for his brother, who he assumed was under control of the witch who "took" him, since he thought his last living family member wouldn't just abandon him, and when he eventually found him, and it turned out he wasn't in any danger at all, Caleb just brushed the whole "I left you for witchussy" thing under the rug and pretended everything was and is perfectly fine, even though it clearly isn't. rip bozo

[thisapplepielife]

Written for the @corrodedcoffinfest May warm-up round.

These Keys?

Prompt: Get a Job | Word Count: 1000 | Rating: T | CW: Language, Off-Screen Recreational Weed Use | POV: Gareth | Pairing: Steddie | Tags: AU, Gareth Fakes It Until He Can Make It, Car Dealership, Gareth & Steve, Meet Ugly, Eddie Only Tortures Those He Loves Most

Gareth is dozing at his desk, when a knock on his office door startles him awake, "Your two o'clock is here." 

Gareth didn't remember having a two o'clock, but he stands up and tries to smooth out his suit. It's two sizes too big, and something Eddie found for him at a thrift store. It's ugly, but works, for now. He's just working this job selling cars, saving some goddamn money, until the band can start playing full-time. Hopefully. That's the dream, anyway.

He's not very good at it, not like Eddie would be, but Eddie was a no-go with his hair that he refused to cut to be a corporate shill, or whatever he ranted about.

There's a guy standing in the showroom, waiting. Preppy and coiffed within an inch of his life. Great. 

But Gareth approaches him, because he looks like he has money. And money means the chance at a commission. So, Gareth tries to shake the cobwebs out of his brain.

"I'm Steve. We talked on the phone earlier," this guy says, and Gareth reaches out to shake his hand. He has no memory of this alleged conversation. Maybe he shouldn't have gotten so stoned with Eddie during his lunch break.

Rolling out of the van loose and faded after lunch, probably wasn't the best idea he's ever had. 

But he hates this job. He can't sell cars. He knows nothing about them. 

"What can I help you with, Steve?" Gareth asks, and Steve's just staring at him, definitely annoyed. What's his damn problem?

"As I said on the phone, my lease is up. I need to find out how much it will be to buy mine out, or lease something new."

"Cool. Cool. Totally, man. We can do that."

"How about this one?" Gareth asks, looking at a BMW he's never seen on the lot before. It's shiny. Really, really shiny. He runs his hand over the roof. "Pretty, right?"

"Uh, yeah," Steve says, but sounds less than enthused, crossing his arms over his chest, and it looks a little aggressive, "Well, how much? What's the mileage?"

Man, he's bitchy.

There's no sticker, but Gareth can find out how much they're asking. He'll just bullshit until then. 

"It's new on the lot," Gareth says, and tries to pull up on the handle, but it doesn't budge.

"Locked, huh?" Steve asks. "Maybe you need the keys?"

Gareth presses his face to the window, to see if he can see the odometer from here, but can't.

"Yeah, I'll get the keys. I'll be right back. Wait here."

"Sure, okay. I'll be waiting," Steve snaps, and Gareth strides off towards the dealership. 

When he comes back, with no keys, Steve is talking to Keith. Goddamnit. 

"Do you know where the keys to this car are?" Gareth asks Keith, interrupting.

Steve pulls a set of keys out of his pocket, "These keys?"

"Where'd you get those?" Gareth asks.

"It's my car, Gareth. This is the car I drove here. The one I've been leasing from you guys for the past two years. The one I told you about, on the phone."

Keith shakes his head, disappointed, and points Gareth back towards the showroom.

He's been dismissed, and his potential commission, gone. Probably his job. A lease would have made sure they wouldn't fire him. Fuck. He didn't know that was Steve's car. How could he have known? Steve could have said something, for fuck's sake. Prick.

And now Gareth just has to stand by watching as Steve goes over the paperwork on his new car. The one Gareth definitely isn't going to sell him. Keith made sure of it. 

Today's not his day. 

At least it's winding to a close, and when Eddie pulls up in the van, Gareth walks toward it, relieved to be done with Keith, Steve, and this job for another day.

But then he notices that Steve is following him. Which, weird. Surely he's not gonna kick his ass over a dumb mistake. He was just a little baked. That's all. 

Gareth pauses. And so does Steve. 

"What?" Gareth asks. 

"What, what?" Steve repeats. 

"Why are you following me?" Gareth asks.

"I'm not following you," Steve says, clearly following him.

"You are." 

"I'm not."

They're still arguing, this childish back and forth, when Eddie gets out and leans against the van. 

"Soooo, I see you've met," Eddie says.

And they both turn to look in his direction. 

"You know him?!" they both yell, in unison. 

And Eddie just cackles. 

"You set me up!" Gareth accuses, pointing at Eddie.

"Well, maybe. A little. But it was mainly Steve I was harassing." 

And then Gareth gets it. 

"This is your Steve?" Gareth asks, pointing at the preppy-looking motherfucker standing next to him.

Eddie nods, pleased with himself, clearly. 

"Eddie! You lost me my commission!"

Steve is rubbing his eyebrow, "Gareth. Shoulda realized. How common could that name be?"

He's muttering quietly and Gareth is scared they've broken him. 

Eddie must be pretty sure about this one, if he's already picking on him this goddamn hard. 

Steve snaps out of it, suddenly striding over towards Keith.

Gareth follows.

"Hey, Gareth was helping me first. He's the one I had the appointment with, so I'd like to finish this up with him. See it through."

"But, are you, I…" Keith splutters, not wanting to let this one go, obviously, and Gareth just grins and holds out his hand for the halfway filled-out lease. 

Keith hands it over, and Gareth leads Steve and Eddie back to his office.

Steve signs on the dotted line, and Gareth will be able to pay his rent for another month. And he hit his monthly bonus, right at the end of the month. Hot damn.

"Thanks, Steve," Gareth says, "Sorry we got off on the wrong foot."

Steve just lulls his head towards Eddie, "Now, we had a little help with that, didn't we?"

And Eddie just cackles, like the shitty troll he is.

If you want to write your own, or see more entries for this challenge, pop on over to @corrodedcoffinfest and follow along with the fun! 🦇

Notes: Inspiration for this one, was I saw this video a couple months ago, and had to track down the original on TikTok to share it here. But: Graham, Gareth. It made sense. (And I found there were updates to the Graham debacle!!)

[midwestemoismid]

Do you ever love a character so much you sorta steal your entire personality from them,,

<autism rant>

Cuz like I'm obsessed with Nicole from class of '09, if sorta stolen my whole humor from her, Which isn't really a good thing because shes kinda a piece of shit, the game revolves around her being a horrible person or trying to kill herself or something like that, I'm not like as mentally ill as her, but my humor has evolved to be similar to Nicole and ive sorta had this not care attitude. I've also been really jokingly mean to one of my best friends (he knows its a joke, thats our humor) but I accidentally did that to my little brother and felt SO bad lmao,, (he said something very obviously and I loudly go "yeah no fucking shit bitch" then started apologizing profusely) This other time I was playing blooket w/ that same friend and I did something that made him eat a fake burger and I went really loud "have this fucking burger you fat ass bitch" and hje just stared at me like wtf,, and the other person on the call (who I just met) was SHOCKED.

i'm not a bad person,, hes okay with me making those jokes btw

well im sorta a bad person but i'm working on that

i sorta hate having obsessions over character because i want to BE THEM. and it sucks even more when theyre a horrible person--and when theyre a girl,, cuz like i want to de-transition and become a terrible person and chane my name to Nicole WHAT THE FUCK WHY I DONT KNOW and like i had an alt acc on tiktok where i used she/her and named myself nicole and it was like a class of 09 fanpage sorta. and like i dont wanna be a bad person nor do i wanna hurt people feelings or be addicted to drugs AT ALL but like NICOLE🙏🙏🙏

this always happens when i have some sort of obsession. i dont typically have favorites but when i do its like an obsession

and like one other problem with being obsessed with nicole is i accidentally obsess over mental illness and (stuff i shouldnt obsess over), wich is really bad and unhealthy.

I gain little obsessions over certain things, like right now im REALLY obsessed with a game called "bad parenting" and it's a really really sad game. I wont spoil it but its genuinelly depressing and made me cry. after i saw it i wanted to hug my dad and tell him i loved him for being a good dad. ive been listening to the backround song on repeat for a bit, i might even draw fanart of it idk,, but i feel like i shouldnt be hyper obsessed with it

as a kid i also was really obsessed with "salad fingers" wich had a sadish theme to it, i kinda forget the plot but i thought it was interesting and how the main charecter was kinda messed up.

I also really like "little miss fortune" wich was also really sad. again i dont remember the plot my childhood is sorta a blur and i dont remember it well

"Sally face" is another sad game i liked. not gonna spoilt it but i loved the supernatural bit and there was a lot of death.

I also really love horror movies, ESPECIALLY horror movies that go into psychology. Like for example, saw is pretty interesting because its cool to see if people would rather cut of an arm or die. I know it's fake but it's still really cool.

Theres a lot i find interesting but i dont wanna sound like im actually insane lol

This ran went in so many placed i forgot what the original post was about😭 took me abt 2 and 1/2 class period to wright

If you read this all, thanks! If you relate reblog or comment (or make a new post and tag me) and tell me what charecter you relate to/obsess over

[lovemyromance]

ACOTAR FANDOM RANT incoming:

Y'all will never see me commenting on a properly tagged anti-Elriel post just to start a fight or even point out something the OP misconstrued or concluded (however incorrectly).

Ok I've done it maybe like three times, and it was probably back from when I was brand spankin new to this fandom's insanity and didn't understand the rules (learned Very quickly as a result of a bad encounter with the you know who's), or because someone copy pasted my post to "prove me wrong" (they didn't)

I've only been active in this fandom since like February 2024, and I have yet to block anyone, block any tags, or even follow any tags.

I see just as many anti-Elriel posts as I see Elriel posts.

Let that sink in.

I don't "go looking" through the anti-elriel tags, but when you don't follow anything - you get a whole lot of everything in your "for you" page.

I see so many flat out wrong interpretations of canon text or people posting about how during "Gwyn & Azriel's dagger lesson, he let her use Truthteller" or "Elain is secretly so in love with Lucien that she self harms instead of using his gifts"

and you know what I do? I exercise my self-control, and scroll. None of my business.

Clearly, I am not someone who is interested or even out lurking in anti Elriel posts for a fight. And yet, I have so many antis commenting on my posts - getting mad - then blocking ME.

Does that make sense? They came onto my page, to tell me I was wrong, and then got mad when I very logically pointed out the flaws in their logic, and then blocked me.

Facts:

I don't go out and start fights on anti-Elriel posts.

When someone comes to my posts, and starts a fight, I am very respectful of that person. You'll see me calling their interpretation wrong - but you won't see me saying anything about them personally, or calling them names or slurs or anything of that nature.

I do not belittle others

I do not dismiss anyone's trauma

I do not diminish anyone's accomplishments

I am respectful of real people's boundaries

I have never brought up tasteless and crude arguments just to "win a fight"

And if anyone thinks otherwise, then go ahead, feel free to prove me wrong. Receipts are all up there. To this day, I haven't deleted a comment, post, or reblog. I have like 80 posts a day, surely if I have behaved poorly in any way, I would've slipped up by now and you'd be able to find it.

But I know I haven't.

Even when people didn't read my post or understand anything I was saying before coming into my comments to fight with me. Even when someone said my trauma doesn't matter. Even when someone said I was "anti SA victims" (which is really funny, because that was after I reluctantly pointed out that I was unfortunately ALSO an SA victim)

I have never, ever, said anything like that to anyone in this fandom. That's just not who I am.

So then why - WHY - do people think it's okay to send me anons that threaten to find me and get me to "stfu about elriel you fucking c*nt" and tell me to go off myself and if I ship Elriel I'm an abuser?

Genuinely - why is that necessary? Why does someone feel the need to type that out, read it back, nod to themselves like "oh yeah that's good". And then send it to a real person??

What do they think I'm going to do? What purpose does that serve? It's very clearly a troll or some Elucien/Gwynriel that doesn't like what I have to say - but why is this the reaction?

Having a preference for a fictional ship does not make you a bad person. I have not once engaged with ANY EL/GA and called them "anti - SA" or "pro - r*pe culture" if they were fighting with me on my post. I think they're crazy sometimes - don't get me wrong - but I'm not out here thinking someone who ships Elucien is anti-women.

That is crazy. If you think having any preference for a ship makes some a "BAD PERSON", respectfully please log off. Get out of this fandom because you are part of the reason it's gotten so bad.

Stop attacking real people over fucking fictional characters. It's not okay, in any context. And I'm tired of it.

Turning off my anons for at least a little bit, sorry to the ones I haven't gotten around to.

[bidisasterevankinard]

Tease tidbit Tuesday

tagged by @jesuisici33 @daffi-990 new words for enemies to lovers singers au (context Ian cheated on buck and then outed him to the word without Buck's context and Eddie now help Buck to make a hate song)

“Penny for your thoughts?” the voice takes Buck out of his memories.

“He was my first love,” Buck smiles sadly, not turning to face Eddie, not wanting to see the pity on the face of his not an enemy anymore, but still not a friend, who is even hard to call a colleague either. 

Deep inside his mind Buck believes tomorrow his hangover after whiskey mind will regret being so vulnerable with the man, but today he’s too drunk to stay quiet.

“Ian?”

“Yeah, before him I had some people I dated and messed around with, but he ... he felt so different. He was different from others. He looked at me differently, not at my body, or at least made me believe it,” Buck throws his head on back of the couch, looking at the ceiling and remembers all the evenings he spent in Ian's arms, looking at what seemed to him a warm sunny summer day, drowning in the magnificent greenery of his eyes. He thought he saw the same love that he felt for Ian. Maybe it was there at the beginning, but then it disappeared. Like for all people in his life. 

Buck is temporary. He’s not permanent. 

“He listened to my rants about everything, especially about my parents. He made me smile  and I fall for him so easy and fast, only to one day came home to him fucking his best friend two weeks before our two years anniversary. I felt so betrayed.”

He knows that to Ian he was just a toy. And he played with Buck's feelings perfectly, leaving him with his heart broken in such little pieces Buck wasn’t sure he could put into the same working organ again. He needed six months to even start to look at other people, but only for sex. He was scared to let someone in again.

“And then when I fell again, with Abby this time, she just left me like I'm nothing,” Buck sighs, remembering how he was looking at the woman he loved when she just said she wasn’t going to come back and he should move on. 

Like it’s easy to stop loving someone. Like it’s easy to stop caring. 

For her it was, and Buck needed a lot of time to understand it was because she never cared about him at all.

“I-I wanna fall in love again, I don't want to be alone, but I'm not sure to give someone a knife in their hands and not to be too scared to be stabbed again.”

He almost whispers it because he never lets anyone see this part of him, the part that just wants to be loved anyway. The part that wants to love someone anyway. 

To be allowed to love how he always does: too much.

He’s sure he will regret this conversation tomorrow.

“You will find the person who would never do it, Buck. I know it,” kind voice, the one he never heard from Eddie makes him turn his head, still not taking it from the couch to see big brown eyes.  The look at them makes him believe Eddie wouldn’t use any information Buck shared today. It also seems like Eddie believes that Buck can be loved by someone. Like Diaz believes Buck is not the lost cause.

tagging @wikiangela @wildlife4life @watchyourbuck @exhuastedpigeon @elvensorceress @eddiebabygirldiaz @rogerzsteven @thewolvesof1998 @theotherbuckley @underwater-ninja-13 @icecreampotluck @puppyboybuckley @pirrusstuff @anakinfallen @aspecbuddie @spaceprincessem @spotsandsocks @spagheddiediaz @devirnis @sherlockcrossing @fortheloveofbuddie @giddyupbuck @heartshapedvows @honestlydarkprincess @hoodie-buck @housewifebuck @hippolotamus @jeeyuns @diazsdimples @loserdiaz @cal-daisies-and-briars @bigfootsmom @bekkachaos @buddierights @mandzuking17 @monsterrae1 @malewifediaz @steadfastsaturnsrings