#i'm so tired today holy crap

[koushuwu]

also fixed my masterlist and fixed the bio text color on mobile.

[idkfitememate]

WAIT WAIT ITS NEUVILLETTES BRITHDAYYYYYYY I JUST FOUND OUT TODAY WHAT THE HECK?????? I HAVE A IDEA TO CELEBRET THIS WONDERFULL DAY!!!! WHAT IF WHAT IF OTTER SPEND THEIR WHOLE DAY WITH NEUVILLETTE??? AND THEIR FIRST TIME TASTING WATERS FROM EACH NATIONS!!!!!(since he drinks diffirents waters from each nation right?) The otter be like when tasting the Inozuma water

Otter - sipppssss

Otter - OoO!

Otter - 'holy crap, what is it fizzy???'

sorry sorry I just eaten sugar and I'm on a sugar rush

Otter anon🦦

Happy Birthday Neuvillette!!

૮꒰˶ᵔ ᗜ ᵔ˶꒱ა Pairings : GN! Otter Reader x Neuvillette

૮꒰ྀི∩´ ᵕ `∩꒱ྀིა W.K. : 226

໒꒰ྀིᵔ ᵕ ᵔ ꒱ྀི১ Tags/CW&TW : fluff, happy birthday Neuvi!!! Little guy!!!!

໒꒰ྀི˶˙Ⱉ˙˶꒱ྀིა Author’s note : Yay! Happy birthday to our dear Hydro Dragon Sovereign! I’m a bit tired so I’m sorry if it’s not what you wanted!☆૮꒰ˊᗜˋ* ꒱ა Finals are kicking my ass ૮꒰ ˶꒦ິ꒳꒦ິ˶꒱ა♡

Neuvillette hadn’t celebrated his birthday in years. He saw no need in it. He had a nation to help run, after all.

After a day of paperwork, a trial that took far to long, and watching Furina, he was more than ready to collapse into his large plush bed and cuddle with his darling Otter.

Though, when he opened the door, he wasn’t expecting to see his dear surrounded by large jugs of water, each labeled with the name of a well known lake and/or sea from every nation.

He simply stared at you as you chittered loudly, almost in a tune (he was entirely sure it was ‘Happy Birthday’), waving your arms about.

He simply gave you a smile as he sat down at the small table surrounded by water jugs. Using your manipulation of water skills, you swiftly poured you both a glass. Picking it up with both paws, you rose it to him, and he did the same with his, clinking the two.

“Thank you my dear.” He mused. You both took a sip.

Then you spit it out in shock.

“Yes,” he chuckled, “Inazumian waters are known to have quite the kick. Or should I say… zap?” His grin widened slightly before a he sighed, picking up a napkin, he dabbed at your face.

Perhaps… Neuvillette should celebrate his birthday more often…

໒꒰ྀི˶˙Ⱉ˙˶꒱ྀིა Author’s note : Hehe. He’s just a big ole softy. Our big ole softy ໒꒰ྀི´ ˘ ` ꒱ྀིა

[dino-boyo-agere]

Not On Valentine's Day

╰→ Steddie AgeRe fanfic

[Word count: 1748] holy crap, that's a big boi!

.･｡ﾟ×ﾟ☆ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ×ﾟ｡･*.ﾟ.✧.ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ×ﾟ｡･*.ﾟ☆ﾟ×ﾟ｡･.

Character info:

Steve - Age Regressor (lil age 3-ish)

Eddie  - caregiver ("Poppa")

Plot:

Steve deals with immense pressure, caused by him planning a elaborate Valentine's Date for Eddie, while desperately trying not to slip into little space.

Tw! Angst, Hurt & comfort, mention of: impure regression, mental health, self loathing, anxiety & intimacy.

╰→ It's all kept SFW!!

! Age Regression is not a k*nk !

.･｡ﾟ×ﾟ☆ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ×ﾟ｡･*.ﾟ.✧.ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ×ﾟ｡･*.ﾟ☆ﾟ×ﾟ｡･.

Steve felt like he was going to burst under all this pressure, it was to much. He planned and prepared a romantic valentine's date...

Well, he wasn't quite done yet, even though it was already Feburary 14th.

It was still in the early hours of the morning, but nonetheless, his anxiety was through the roof. He barely got any sleep and he still had so much to do. Steve whished he could just curl up infront of the TV, in his PJs, eating fruit loops and- 

Oh, no..

He could feel himself beginning to slip.

No, he can't have that, not today, darnit..

"Get it together, Harrington.." he mumbled to himself, slightly slapping his own cheek, as a means to stay aware, stay alert, stay big.

He wanted this day to be perfect.

He wanted tonight to be a romantic and.. hecc.. intimate experience with Eddie. Not whatever his stupid, effed up brain wanted to make out of it.

He won't- no.. He can't let himself ruin this for Eddie, not again..

Why did he always have to make everything about himself? Eddie deserved better. He deserved a nice, romantic date, in which he would be the center of attention. And Steve was going to make that happen, today.

He pushed aside the self-destructive thoughts and his urge to regress, focusing soely on making this work. On making this day perfect, for Eddie.

So, he continued with the preparations to make this happen.

He went all out, exhausting himself more and more in the process.

The whole ordeal also took him way longer than anticipated, since he continually had to fight slipping.

While cleaning the house, he constantly got distracted by finding toys or other 'little stuff'.

Whilst cooking a fancy three course meal, he found it frustratingly hard to read and understand the recipe, resulting in him having to start over two times.

He had to calm himself down and remind himself that monsters aren't real, before being able to enter the cellar, so he could pick out one of the most expensive whines from his parents collection.

Upon selecting some romantic movies, he had to resist just throwing in- and watching a cartoon.

He had to give up on the idea of building a blanket fort, while making the bed.

When he took a shower, he denied himself using his 'spiderman shampoo', though he really wanted to.

And as he picked his clothes, Steve had to go with something elegant, instead of his cozy footed PJ's he so desperately wanted to snuggle up in.

Hopelessly klinging on to his big headspace, Steve had to remind himself to stay focused on the mission, constantly.

In the evening, he was finally done, right before Eddie arrived.

He embraced his boyfriend with a hug and excitedly explained his plans for the day.

Steve could still feel his brain being fuzzy, though he eagerly tried to hide it.

Eddie could tell that something was bothering Steve, he avoided eye contact and seemed to be restless. Always jumping up 'to get-' or 'because he forgot something'. 

So, he asked his boyfriend if everything was alright.

Steve just shrugged him off, stating: "Oh, yeah. It's- I'm just a little tired, that's all. And so excited for today, really."

Eddie knew he was lying, or at least not telling the whole truth, but he didn't want to push it, so he just accepted Steve's explanation and moved on from the topic.

The date was going great.

Their food was delicious and they've snuggled up infront of the TV, watching some cheesey romance movies. They liked judging- and making fun of the stupid decisions characters tend to make.

Under the blanked, Eddie started gently caressing Steve's thigh. As he was just about to lean in for a passionate kiss, he stopped right in his tracks, when he saw Steve's face. A look of unease, or even fear, in his glazed eyes.

Eddie knew that look. He knew it too well.. This was the look of a- no, of his deeply afflicted darling boy.

Immediately, he lifted his hand from the boys leg, ever so gently placing it on his cheek instead.

He rubbed his thumb against the soft skin lovingly & with such vigilance, as to not scare Steve further.

"Oh, oh baby, I'm so sorry." Eddie said, his voice shaking from guilt and hurt, for almost harming his little one.

He felt like punching himself in the face. How didn't he catch that sooner?!

He almost kissed his little one passionately, hasn't he looked up in time. What kind of awful Caregiver would he be if..

Eddie could feel his stomach turn at the thought of that.

"I'm so sorry." He repeated.

Steve was perplexed, at first.

He didn't notice how far he had already slipped, cuddled up on the couch like that.

He wasn't fully regressed yet, still capable of thinking  somewhat adult-ish. But it was definitely noticable that he wasn't fully there.

Nonetheless, he wanted to play it off, he's come so far, he won't let himself ruin this for Eddie.

"N- no, it's okay.. look." Steve tried to sound as convincing as possible, leaning in for a kiss, desperately pushing away the feeling of unease and disgust. Attempting to assure, not just Eddie, but himself aswell.

'Eddie is my boyfriend, darn it.. Why do I have to be so weird about this.. He's not disgusting..I should just kis-'

Eddie stopped his thoughts and advances, backing away, while gently holding Steve at arms length by his shoulders.

"Whoa there, Kiddo.. What are you- That's not appropriate!" He exclaimed.

Eddie was mortified.

Something was clearly affecting his little one in a very negative way and he had to know what it was. He had to know how he could help him.

Steve, meanwhile, grew frustrated.

"What do you mean 'not appropriate'? You're my boyfriend and boyfriends kiss." He snapped at the bewildered man in front of him.

Eddie remained calm.

"Yes, I am your boyfriend, when you are big-Steve. When you are little-Steve, I am your Poppa. And right now you are not big, Buddy." He explained, his voice assertive but tender.

Tears formed in Steve's eyes, prompting Eddie to pull him into a warm hug, kissing the top of his head. "It's okay, Darling. I've got you. You can talk to me." He reassured his little one.

Steve began sobbing, slipping further into his regression.

He started apologizing. "I'm s- so sor-ry. I ruined valentine days. I aways ruin tings an I'm aways se- selfish.. sorry.. sorry."

He was unbelievably upset with his actions and ashamed for again making everything about himself..

At least that's how he viewed the situation.

Eddie tightened the hug.

"Don't say that. You didn't ruin anything, nor are you selfish in any way.-"

His attempt to comfort Steve was interposed by the latter, who was vehemently fighting his regression once again.

"Yes, I did an- and yes, I am.. I always do this.. I- it's always just.. me. Me. ME.. This was sup- supposed to be y- you day. So.. so I tried to.. just.. s- suck it up.. and.. and.."

Steve was visibility shaking, when Eddie interrupted his rambling.

".. and just kiss me? Disregarding your own emotions? Ignoring how you felt unsafe and uncomfortable?"

Tears where forming in his eyes now aswell, at the thought of his Darling having to deal with such harmful thoughts, all on his own. Eddie's body also began to tramle too.

Steve looked up at him, having fully slipped now. Besides, he was to exhausted to fight it any longer anyways.

*¹ "Is sowwy. I kno it bad foa meh. I jus' wan u to be happeh. sowwy, Poppa."

He sniffled into his caregivers chest.

Eddie pulled him even closer.

"Steve, Darling.. I love you." He could feel hot tears running down his cheeks.

"Wether you're big or small. I'm more than excited to spend valentine's day with you." The boy in his arms looked up at him, wiping away a tear from his caregivers face, before letting him continue.

"I don't care if we eat fancy cuisine or dino nuggets. I don't care if we watch a romantic movie or cartoons. I don't care if we get intimate or just cuddle." He paused again, to kiss Steve's forehead.

"I am happy, as long as I am with you. So.." Eddie tightened his hug, pulling his Darling closer once more.

"..just let me be with you, whichever you it may be. Please stop trying to hide yourself, to try and accomodate me."

He loosened the hug, to gently grab Steve's face with both hands, lovingly looking into his eyes. "I love you, Steve. I love each and every part of you and that'll never change, ever."

Eddie was full on crying now.

Both of them embraced in a tight hug again, weeping into each others sweaters.

They stayed like that for a little while.

As the sniffling and sobs slowly subsided, Eddie could hear a soft whisper. So quiet, he couldn't make out what was said.

"Sorry, Stevie. I didn't quite catch that. What did you say? Could you repeat it for me, Darling?" Eddie asked softly, rubbing his little one's back.

"Pwomise?" Steve repeated, intently staring at his carer's hoodie strings, with which he was fiddling.

Eddie immediately understood what he was referring to.

"Promise. I'll always love you as you are, Sweetheart." He promptly answered and placed a kiss on Steve's forehead.

*² "Wuv yuh too, foreva.. pomise." The boy replied, now sleepily chewing on the strings of Eddie's hoodie, his eyes half closed.

He was exhausted..

Exhausted from all the planning and preparing.

Exhausted from trying to fight slipping all day.

Exhausted from crying so much.

Exhausted from having to deal with all those big feelings for so long.

After sitting there, cuddling for a while, Eddie got up. He turned on some soft music on his speakers, before carrying his Darling Boy to bed.

Kissing his forehead again, he whispered: "Happy Valentines day, Stevie." into the little one's hair, before closing his eyes aswell.

Steve knew he was safe now. In Eddie's arms, he was home.

His strength was barely enough to give a dazed "mhmm" in response.

Eddie was content with that answer. With Steve in his arms, he was home.

They layed like that, tangled up in each other's arms, snuggling, until they fell into a deep and much needed slumber.

.･｡ﾟ×ﾟ☆ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ×ﾟ｡･*.ﾟ.✧.ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ×ﾟ｡･*.ﾟ☆ﾟ×ﾟ｡･.

I hope you liked my little Valentine's Day story.

& thank you so much for reading!

.･｡ﾟ×ﾟ☆ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ×ﾟ｡･*.ﾟ.✧.ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ×ﾟ｡･*.ﾟ☆ﾟ×ﾟ｡･.

Footnotes:

╰→ (Stevie's Baby-Talk Translation)

*¹ "I'm sorry. I know it's bad for me. I just want you to be happy. sorry, Eddie."

*² "I love you too, forever. I promise."

.ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ×ﾟ｡･».ﾟ°･⁠✧ ↓ DNI ↓ ✧･° ﾟ.«･｡ﾟ×ﾟ｡･*.ﾟ.

Banner by @froggy-clubhouse !!!

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#nates stories

[andy-art-corner]

holy crap Lois, I'm in artfight/ref

Not all of my characters are up yet I spent like almost three hours making reference sheets today I might pass out and die if I do one more rn I'm so tired 😭

Feel free to follow me if you want. I'm already looking for characters to draw when it starts :)

[heartofhubris-a]

Like the more sober and the more unhealthy coping you peel back the worse and worse you realize you gotta work to heal and figure out healthy replacements. It also makes you realize what parts of yourself you were medicating.

I've been up over an hour and I work in like 3 hours at 8 am so I need to sleep however I cannot fall asleep again, and I know it's a direct result of not drinking alcohol for the last couple days. Which is a good problem in theory, im resetting my body. But holy crap I'm tired. And I can't fall back asleep. I can tell I'm going to get a migraine from h I w hectic today will be already.

I wish addiction didn't feel like such a sisyphean struggle. It's just so frustrating when I live in a town that was mentioned on many TV shows for alcoholism. It's ingrained in our local culture at this point.

It's really making the "I don't wanna kms but I don't wanna be alive" so much worse.

[lumine-no-hikari]

Dear Sephiroth: (a letter to a fictional character, because why not) #254

J woke up early today to go on a plane trip with his friend An. He had already left by the time I had woken up.

I like that J can go out and do fun airplane things with other pilots. An is a great lady, and a skilled pilot. Still, I suppose, following the accident that J and I got into that one time, lately, every time J goes out on the plane, it's always a question for me as to whether or not he'll come back in one piece.

…Baseless anxieties, I know. J knows what he's doing. I try to keep these thoughts in check. But today it was a little harder than usual. I went to bed kinda late, and my body sorta woke up automatically like 6 hours later, feeling very uncomfortable because I definitely ate too much garlic bread yesterday. I love garlic, but it's still a chemical irritant when eaten in large amounts. Whoops.

When we're tired and uncomfortable, anxieties become harder to control. So I ended up spending most of the day playing Dead Cells to try to keep myself distracted until J came home. It's just as well; I had a quest. I had to defeat The Hand of the King while having precisely one Boss Cell active. I needed to do this because I needed to get the Recycling Tubes upgrade, so that when I begin a run, I have more kinds of equipment available to me. So that is what I did.

Sephiroth, I've been doing runs on 4 Boss Cells for a while now. And I remembered when I first started doing runs with one Boss Cell. I remember how much I struggled with it at first. But today, when I went back to only one Boss Cell... I was shocked at how stupid easy it seemed, compared to what I am currently accustomed to. Holy crap.

I finished that run in about 3 hours, and I made very short work of The Hand of the King. I even had a few spectators, and we had a little bit of animated discussion; it was pretty cool! I had one person come on, and they seemed amazed that, despite having unlocked very little in the way of equipment, I was still running on 4 Boss Cells. I tried to explain that I've been using all the regular cells I've been getting at the Legendary Forge instead of on unlocking equipment.

I also tried explaining that my skills are sharp because I use the Baseball Bat/Greed Shield combo almost exclusively; I don't have to try to adapt to different kinds of equipment because that is what I use. And what's more, since I rely so heavily on parrying, my play style requires lots of precision, anyway. And since up until this point I've been evenly distributing my stat points instead of specializing, I've also basically been playing with a handicap this whole time. So... I guess it stands to reason that I'm skilled by now? Because I've been basically making it harder for myself than necessary this whole time, hahaha!

...I wonder what your play style would look like, if you tried this game. If you find yourself in my neighborhood someday, will you hang out often enough to develop one so that we can find out?

The ability to play Dead Cells well is a developed skill, just like lots of other things. This mindset that I've cultivated, too, is a developed skill. I wasn't always the kind of person for whom gratitude, joy, hope, and compassion came naturally; the world I come from primed me for bitterness, anger, cynicism, and a very judgmental attitude, and for a long time, I embodied those traits as though they were the correct and honorable way to be; that's because that's what everyone else in my social circles was like at the time, and I had to try to mirror their thought processes in order to get their approval, because when I didn't have their approval, they would hurt me.

If I look back on who I used to be in the same way I look back on when I first started playing with 1 Boss Cell, I recognize how I struggled with allowing myself to feel things like joy, gratitude, compassion, and hope; in the past, these things were considered unrealistic and fanciful things that only weak and stupid people did, so whenever emotions like these cropped up in my mind, my first instinct was to feel ashamed and on-guard, as though someone was gonna hit me if they caught me feeling "sissy weakling stuff" like that. It's always a little weird when we re-incorporate things into our being that other people forced us to amputate from our psyches.

But... we can use our coping skills to practice radical acceptance of those feelings. We can sit and cope with the shame and with the feeling on-guard. We can try to figure out what those feelings are trying to tell us, and evaluate whether or not those things are still true of our current reality. We can do that until those shameful, guarded feelings give way to stuff that is closer to grief and anger; believe it or not, when you reintegrate parts of your psyche, moving from shame and being on-guard towards anger and grief is progress, because instead of feeling ashamed for being human, you start getting sad and pissed that some totally uninformed fucknugget tried taking your humanity away from you.

From there, we can counter the lies that were told to us with better beliefs that are derived from the truths present in our current circumstances. In some ways, battling those lies is not unlike placing a well-timed parry (boundary skills!) and then following up with a well-placed crack over zombies' heads with a baseball bat (deliberately choosing new beliefs!).

When it comes to my own healing journey, I'm maybe on 3 Boss Cells, haha. I still have a long way to go. But... I can look back at the things that I used to struggle with, and be proud of the fact that I don't struggle with them anymore. Sure, sometimes I do fall into old habits (just like sometimes I have bad runs in Dead Cells), but nowadays, those emotions that my upbringing tried to strip from me are things that come easy now, at least most of the time.

And that's because the capacity to notice, honor, and feel through our emotions is a skill we can practice, just like any other. Mindfulness about our internal experience is a skill we can practice like any other. Hope, gratitude, joy, and compassion are skills we can practice, just like any other. Deliberately choosing how we perceive the world around us and deliberately choosing how we will respond to adverse stimuli (as opposed to letting our trauma responses choose for us) are skills we can practice, just like any other.

We can dance through the tides of our own emotions gracefully until we learn how to make peaceful but still self-protective choices in response to them, just like we can dance through hordes of zombies until they stop trying to bite our faces off. It just takes a sec to figure out how. And you gotta be willing to get your ass handed to you over and over again, until you learn how not to get your ass handed to you. In a lot of ways, it's really all the same.

In any case, J did indeed come home safe and sound. And he even gathered up a bunch of pictures for you along the way; I am not the only one here who loves you and wishes well upon you! Here's proof:

...Welcome to my world. This is how it looks. Isn't it beautiful? You can chill over here with me in this place if you want to. But if you don't want to, then... you can fly, right? Pretty easily, despite having only one wing, no? So... maybe you can go to places in your world that are as pretty as this. I'll keep hoping that you'll find kinder, gentler skies to soar in. And if you can't find any, then I hope that I've made it clear to you that mine exist, and that you are welcome in them.

...I think that's all I've got for today. I'm gonna watch J play some Brave Fencer Musashi now.

I'll write again soon, so please stay safe out there, okay? If you can't stay safe for yourself, then... please consider staying safe for the people who love you. You'll always have at least one, right here, writing you all kinds of weird and fanciful letters.

'Til soon.

Your friend, Lumine

[hartshorn-and-isinglass]

Day 210.

Benchmark time. Deputizing my moots and followers as 'colleagues' for this once again:

I am tired and in pain and not in a great headspace today. To boot, my bow hand is just not cooperating, so I'm not going to keep doing takes in the vain hope that I can hit the harmonics properly. We're just gonna call this where I'm at.

I got sidetracked from working on that prosthetic, but boy am I motivated to pick that back up again now.

Really starting to understand why nobody's using the bowing from the early publications--like holy jeeze even after all these months it's still really taxing on my brain to do it this way, like this shit does not stick in my muscle memory at all. I wanted this to be a technical challenge, but I was not expecting it to be such a cognitive challenge. Fibro-brain plays a role in that, obvs.

I've reprogrammed the rubato in the piano part to try and make this sound more natural. It's a work in progress.

I really hate this potato-ass mic! I was not going to get a better mic until I had an actual dedicated practice space (and got better...) but that is just not... happening... and if I'm going to sound awful I at least want that to be entirely my fault and not have a crap mic add insult to injury. Arrrrgh. I'm thinking about dropping the dough on a lower-end ribbon mic.

[poisonedspider]

Holy crap, I am....so tired. The boy's plane got delayed till almost 2 AM (was supposed to leave at 9 PM) but I at least got the balls to say that I had work at 7 this morning so he could be a big boy and I could drop him off and he could take care of himself. Now that he's gone, I'll be able to be back to doing things on here.

Unfortunately, I have an 11 hour day today and tomorrow and my exhaustion level is through the roof so still might not get to much until later this week. Which is annoying because Angel is absolutely squirming in my head. I would much rather be here replying, honestly.

In the mean time though, go reply to my open starter if you wish, mostly because Angel wants attention and to feel that he's pretty. Also please tag me in 1000 romantic or sexual starters. All my threads have been angst lately which while I love it, this boy deserves to be taken on a date or at least get railed alright?

Once I'm back I'm going to tackle my inbox first and foremost, then finally get to the tons of drafts that I owe. Thanks for being patient, y'all. <3 I'm excited to get back to writing.

[rachi-roo]

*glomps u* Surprise Asta tickle HCs!

So, ita been a while, life has gotten in the way and well, my hobbies and interests have just died. So now I'm trying desperately to revive them! Showing some support would reeeally be appreciated so I can keep sharing my content with you guys. ❤️

Black Clover: Asta - Tickle HCs!

Look at him. The boy with his heart set on being the Wizard King. With the powerful demon Bryce Papenbrook by his side, surely he has no weaknesses! Well...

--------------{ }--------------

Lee:

Asta is small. Very small. Shorty McShort-stack. Being this short makes him seem like an easy target, but he is, in fact, one hell of an escape artist. He's a runner he's a track star. If he even thinks an attack is coming his way, he's gone or at least ready to move.

In order to catch said boy, you'll have to use tactics. Get him rambling about magic, as him about his little hyperfixation on the Wizard King. That'll distract him. That's when you attack!

Or you could challenge him to an endurance test! Make him push past his limits, seeing how long he can go without laughing or even just how long he care bare it!

Asta is a nervous giggler, as soon as he's realised you were deceiving him, he's giggling. Pleading through his laughter before it's even started. You'll have to wrestle him down, and he will put up a fight.

"Wait! Wahahait! Nononono! Y-You evil-! Hehelp!"

Despite his endless training that's made him fairly invulnerable to pain, it hasn't stopped how ticklish he is. Pretty much anywhere will get him giggling, but his tummy, knees and the front of his ribs will make him wheezy.

You'll need ear protection because holy crap. He. Is. LOUD. His laughter is big and cheerful, full chested with every bout. Super contagious too.

He gets very embarrassed by how ticklish he is, meaning you need to be nice. Compliment him, tell him how strong and brave he is. His little cheeks will heat up, red and warm.

After a short period of tickles, he'll start hiccuping too. Making him even more embarrassed. The tips of his ears will become tinted pink as he tries to hide his flustered face from view, all wriggly wormy.

He won't usually say stop until he's actually tired out, that's how you know he means it. After tickle head pats are essential. He'll probably go hide under a blanket on the couch to try regain his composure, and a little dignity.

Although he fights and fusses over being tickled, he doesn't hate it, actually he enjoys it quite a bit. An affectionate, or cheere up, poke or two occasionally will make his day. Even a hug with some wandering fingers, he loves those. Or little raspberry kisses on the neck, snuffly lovins. He's a sucker for physical touch but just can't handle the anticipation of an actual tickle attack.

Ler:

Uh ooooh, you've given Asta a reason to tickle you. Are you feeling down? Had a bad day and have been moping around? Or did you perhaps insult his pot potato recipe? Made one too many jokes about pesants or his height perhaps?

If you've had a bad day, your prayers are answered. Astas got you. He'll bring you some foodies, a nice warm drink and he'll sit with you, talking about what went wrong today, even try to see if he can help at all. That's what he does. Once he's done all he can, he'll tie the sad conversation off with some cheere up tickles.

"So, we're gonna smile the rest of the day? Riiiight~?" Incoming wriggly fingers, he's oh so gentle with you. You're sad, of course he's soft. He always comments on your anticipation grin.

"Smiling already? Damn I'm good!" He'll laugh with you as he playfully pokes at random spots all over your tummy and sides, maybe a stray unprotected footer or knee. Finishing up with some head pats and a hug, maybe another poke or two. He's such a good friend to have.

Oops. You've made him mad. You've crossed the line. Drawn the last straw. Astas coming for you. He is small, but mighty. Run if you want, but you won't get far.

Asta likes to use the element of surprise for his attacks. He'll threaten you with an attack and then not do it for hours. Just smiling brightly whenever he sees you. The anticipation is driving you mad.

He'll pounce on you from behind, without you even knowing he's there. He might attack from behind the couch or under a table. And once he's got you, that's that.

Asta LOVES teasing. He'll have a whole completely normal conversation with you whilst he's somehow got you pinned and is wrecking your shit and it's infuriating. He'll pretend your laughter is a response to his conversation or make comments about how you sound.

"Hehe, I never knew you were such a chatter box, Y/N! I love having these talks with you." Whilst you're doing nothing but laughing your ass off.

Because of his height, its easier for Asta to go for the good old 'headlock on the ankles' and attack the feet, whilst he uses his strong legs to hold your torso down. He's like an anaconda, wrapping around it's prey and squeezing. He will attack anywhere he can reach though, his nimble fingers working around each of your worst spots. He's not letting go until he wants to. Way to strong for you to fight off, unless you manage to catch him off guard and tickle him off. He enjoys a fight.

At the end of the day, he knows your limits and will stop once he's reached them. He'll apologise but make sure you've learned your lesson, in a friendly manner. Lots of hugs and shared giggling always follows.

Chaos incarnate. Asta the magic less wizard. Such a sweetheart, my boy. 😭 Although he usually is the position of the Lee, he himself enjoys both sides equally. Make sure to tickle your Asta once a day for a happy and healthy wizard 😁👍

50% Lee - 50% Ler

[meownotgood]

holy crap the writing devil possessed me today and I wrote so much... I wanna write even more but I'm getting tired...

[sohmariku]

A fishy smell

Earlier this week I suddenly started noticing a strong fishy smell in one particular part of my house. I didn't think much of it at first, must be the ventilation system picking up on something outside again. It happens. Alhough I could weirdly enough only smell it in the one part of my house not connected to the system... raising some question marks. After a while the smell disappeared, so I forgot about it.

Two days later I suddenly smelled it again, and I realised the fishy smell somehow seemed to coincide with the moment I ran my laundry. But for whatever reason the smell didn't linger anywhere near my laundry machine. Making me wonder whether it was just pure coincidence? Either way, I could not locate the source of the smell and it disappeared again after a while, so I let it rest.

But today, when I turned my laundry machine on, it appeared again! All right then, this is no mere coincidence! This must be related!

My husband's initial internet search only gave him results about smelly laundry machines, because that's just what happens when your only search terms are "laundry machine" and "fishy smell". So I decided to tell google my house started smelling fishy if I ran the laundry and the top search result all said something along the lines, "Don't ever ignore a fishy smell in your house! It could be a sign of serious electrical issues! Your outlet might be on the brink of catching fire!"

"Um, okay... electrical issues, huh? Outlets possibly catching fire. Very well... Then, let's be a bit weird and smell the sole electrical outlet in that one part of my house that smells really bad right now, but is like a floor away from my laundry machine. I seriously doubt that will... HOLY CRAP, THAT THING SMELLLS FISHY!!"

And thus I immediately turned my laundry machine off, and called my father in a panic to ask for advice on how to proceed, because my brain refused to think clearly. He very calmly advised me to turn off the electricity and check the situation behind the outlet.

"Yes, of course, that makes sense."

A quick check revealed two of the wires had basically melted together... and the whole electrical situation behind our outlet was in fact one that should not exist in the first place.

One trip to the hardware store and with some advice from the expert there my husband stocked up on everything we might need to fix this safely. It took us like an hour after that, but everything is reconnected again and in de much safer way, we are told. The outlet still smells somewhat fishy, but I can't feel a sizzling heat radiating from it anymore, so that's probably the smell baked into the insulation of the wires...? We will have to keep an eye on it for now. As long as the whole room doesn't start smelling fishy again I think we're good.

Aside from the fact that the whole wiring was a bit wonky, this probably happened, because my laundry machine was plugged into the wrong outlet. (So the wires were getting too hot on a regular basis?) I was pretty sure the outlet I used was a seperated one with it's own circuit breaker, but... guess not. So, to increase the changes this might not happen again, I now plugged the laundry machine into the outlet that is in fact separated from the rest of the floor(s).

Ugh, I'm so tired now. Its probably going to take me a at least week to recover from this...

[after-nine-at-the-oasis]

A H PROMO TIME

Logically I know we probably won't see much/any of Carlos next week because recovery is too important to just be like one scene but still I can hope lol

I mean to just see a bit of it xD maybe TK will mention it though (I swear he better)

Anyway lol

Ooh hi Judd :D

XD I don't think we saw him at all today

I'll excuse it bc. yk. obviously XD, but I miss my boy <333

Oooh a fire okay okay 👀👀😬

Dang we focusing so much on this fire I'm thinking we won't get anything else xD

Rip to my Carlos hopes lol but also what about the rest of the episode xD

OPE Marjan 👀👀?

Ooohh noo

Ahh afraid of messing it up yeah o.o

Maybe because of scrutiny be that public or peer/employers 👀?

A A A A H H H H H H H WAIT WHAT RESIGNING?????!!?!!?

HOLD UP NOW

YOU CAN'T JUST THROW THAT AT ME WHAT THE H E C K

NOOOO NO NO NO NO NO YOU CAN'T DO THIS MARJAN

I mean she can but 😭 xD

AAAHHHHHH AND SOMEBODY RIDING AWAY

A H

N O

WHAT THE HECK

xDD

That's the last of my last thoughts. Now it's time for the. . .

REVIEW

A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H

Y'AAAALLLLLLLLLLL

THIS. EPISODE. WAS SO AMAZING 😭😭😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️🥰🥰❤️

Okay okay xdd I got this y'all lol.

I absolutely loved loved LOVED this episode :DDDD. Dude, the ANGST 😭😭❤️❤️❤️👀!!! The drama, the searching, the referring to people as fiance 🥰🥰 (what I just love it okay xD), even Owen's storyline!! Especially the shortness of it XDD - no offense Owen. But I mean, we definitely got way more of the other one, as we should lol. I am glad there was another plot though, just because it would feel a little weird having an entire episode pretty much just following TK around. That makes it sound casual but yk xD. Also, it gives us time to stress lol, and makes it feel like more time has passed. Basically I just think it was needed for the flow :). Plus at least if Owen had to be not being there for his son, he wasn't stealing the spotlight XD. Anyway lol, absolutely amazing episode, just, stellar 😍😍.

WGHOOO holy crap xd

Y'all I am literally unsteady of my feet

Gasping shock from the promo and everything else and also just gasping in ~drama~ and like a billion things and all the feelings at once lol. I am not okay xdd.

But seriously for quite a while while (yes that's on purpose) I was catching up on my liveblogging I was like having shortness of breath man xD I was literally losing it lol

I still am but I'm gonna work on this for a little bit and then go eat dinner and take a break lol xdd. I do want to get it all done now but my hands and my brain (from having to word so much, and I don't mean that in a grammatically correct way, I just mean words man xD) are tired lol. Like I'm not out of words quite but I just feel like taking a break lol, since I was freaking out the whole time, during the episode (and typing for most of it), and I've been catching up for the past hour lol. So that's two hours of freaking out, trying to get everything, and stressing lol xD. So, I'mma do some of this (I actually already did and came back to add that I was unsteady since I meant to lol, I decided to say it here when it happened xD), and then come back later lol. I just need to destress for a bit I think, no matter how much I'd love to finish it now while my feelings are fresh XD. I need energy for the rest of the things I have to do tonight lol. But, I will be coming back :).

Now, onto the individual parts lol.

So xD. I think I'm just gonna do like, the 126, Grace, Owen (including O'Brien), and then of course Tarlos ft. Gabriel XDD. Alright, let's get into it lol.

The 126!! My babeys 🥰🥰🥰🥰. I loved them so much :'DDD. We didn't get to see much of them, but at least we got that entire scene with TK in the beginning 🥰🥰🥰. We got to see their siblingism lol, in the teasing aspect of that xD, but we also saw them supporting TK, which was really nice :'DD. Even a splash of Nanteo, lol xD! Plus of course Nancy and TK siblingism specifically 🥰🥰🥰. Anyway, we didn't see much of them, and I do miss them, but I loved this storyline (including in the past few episodes) so I'll allow it lol <333. And continuing on, despite the fact that we didn't see them much this episode, they were amazing :DD. I love them all with my whole heart 🥰🥰🥰. Oh and Judd I miss you 😭😭😭❤️🥰 XD. Luckily he will be coming back to us next week lol <333. Anyway, in short, I love them <3333.

Grace!! We love our girl 🥰🥰. She was amazing finding all the stuff on Carlos :D. Especially considering it was illegal xD. At first at least, but I assume it was still illegal later lol. Anyway, she was awesome as always 🥰🥰. Plus her comforting TK 😭😭❤️🥰 >>>. Like, that little "I'm sorry baby" or something similar 😭🥺❤️. Ik that's something she says, "baby" I mean, but it just :'))) she loves him your honor <333. Anyway yeah, her 😭😭🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰❤️❤️😍❤️. I love her <3333.

Owen! Owennn. My mannn. SIR. ANSWER YOUR PHONE WHEN YOUR SON CALLS!!! Okay like I know he was dealing with terrorism and the FBI and everything and I get that, and genuinely it is a good excuse lol, but I'm still mad xD. Still, it'll make for angst down the line :D. Anyway, besides that lol, I did actually really enjoy Owen's storyline today :)). I mentioned to someone earlier today how I was laughing a lot last week despite it being about a kidnapping, but that I'd probably be laughing less at this one (and that it was also a kidnapping lol). And I mean, I was, but I was still laughing lol xD. Besides panicked laughing basically at myself lol. Mostly going "I'M FINE :))))" with a bit of laughing xD. But my point is lol, Owen's storyline provided some laughs XD. Bc I mean, he provides some great jokes xD. Also, while I was definitely way more exciting for the other storyline's scenes, I still enjoyed Owen's :). Like I said earlier, it was necessary for the flow.

Anyway, YESS! I'm glad O'Brien isn't actually one of them - I don't think they'll pull another twist on us, so I think it'll stay this way lol. And even though it was funny sometimes, I'm glad we're done with the under-coverness. In and out and in and out - it's just simpler now. Now, I genuinely thought (or maybe I just hoped, but I think I thought lol) that they would be suspecting O'Brien and not Owen, but then that guy kept on talking lol. And honestly, c'mon Owen, the one time you don't wanna fight? But nah xD, it was the smart thing to do lol. I'm also glad that we're (or Owen is at least) getting along a bit better with O'Brien. It's not like we (why am I saying we lol) were necessarily on bad terms, but Owen and him were finding things in common, and honestly they've kinda been through it xD. I think he'll be useful in the future :). And I really do hope they find his nephew - and that he's not the bomb maker. But I wouldn't exactly be surprised if he is, you know? I mean, maybe I will be in the heat of the moment, depending on how much it was hinted at, but still. It would suck (like :( not >:/), but it would be interesting 👀.

Anyway, I'm a bit dreading the storyline of that person targeting Owen because of Owen being the center of attention, but also, I'm excited for it :). Especially since, even if they're not directly targeted for being related (not literally in all except TK's case) to Owen, the others will be affected by it too :). I'm assuming that's where the clip we've seen in promos of Owen warning people comes from, that whole plotline coming up. But, anyway, I'm excited :). And yes, these paragraphs are kind of short, because I ain't interested in having a repeat of last week lol. Anyway, lastly, I am glad Owen answered the first time TK called, and he did resist the FBI for a minute to talk to him a bit longer :). It still sucks he had to rush off, but I'm glad he was at least there for TK a little bit <3. I'm totally (as long as I have the motivation, and who knows if I'll finish it but I will definitely try lol) writing a fic about him listening to messages TK left him and losing it (not totally). Well, let's say being distressed lol. Anyway, despite all I've said about Owen here lol, I loved him <33.

Now. Finally :). TK and Carlos. A A A H H H H H H H H H H H!!! 😭😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️🥰🥰🥰😍😍💔💔❤️❤️❤️😭😭❤️❤️🥺🥺🥺❤️❤️❤️. Okay, I'm good lol. Kind of xD. Anyway, I'll try and at least make this longer than Owen's - on principle lol -, but I don't have quite as much to say since I said a lot more about Tarlos in the moment than I did Owen lol. I'm trying to make my reviews a little shorter by not including quite so much of what I said in the liveblogs, more of my thoughts that I didn't put down (usually the more thought out ones lol), so it's a little easier for me to do them :). Motivation just be that way sometimes lol! Anyway :D. My boyyssss 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰. But also. My boyyssss 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭. XD. Anyway, I thought they were AMAZING this episode. And, just a quick note - UGH, the ACTING!!!!! SO. AMAZING. Thank you Ronen and Rafa 😭😭❤️ :) :D.

Anyway, this episode was DEFINITELY an angsty one - obviously - but it was so, so good :D. For them, I mean - it was in general but this ain't about that right now lol. Seeing all their emotions, really strong ones obviously, was just heartbreaking 😭. And, I was only just thinking about this, but they kind of paralleled each other. Obviously they're having similar feelings (like fear lol), but in different ways, because of their different sides of the equation. Plus, we haven't seen TK's anger in a while - besides the slight anger/the frustration with Iris -, and it was fuuun :DDD >:)). Anyway, just seeing how TK's emotions redirected into the anger, and Carlos's were forced to go into logical thinking. It was rough 😭. And also, that scene of Carlos seeing TK on the doorbell monitor? Wow, why don't you break my heart with a hammer already :'). Or that meat tenderizer Trudie used to smash carlos's phone :'D. Anyway XD.

TK obviously went through it this episode, but I mean. Carlos is the main focus of going through it here XD. They were both suffering and I'm totally vibing with the double angst but right now let's talk about Carlos since he was literally kidnapped, drugged, and almost killed lol. Also during the liveblog I was mostly just screaming, so I'm gonna differentiate some of my emotions here XD. Now, when Carlos was quiet (not quite submissive) or drugged it was awful, but whenever he was fighting back it was just viscerally uncomfortable. In a really good acting and such kinda way lol. Especially earlier on in the episode - by the time we was fighting Darryl at the end I was consumed even more by other things, one of which being "YES YES YES GOOOO CARLOS, SLAYYYY GO OFF, BEAT HIM!!!!" XD. But anyway, the entire time it was just so heartbreaking 😭😭❤️💔🥺. And Carlos saying that Gwyn's love passed through him because he had no idea how he could love TK that much? I just. Wow. I think he'd probably actually thought that before lol, not just coming up with it for Trudie's benefit, but even if he did, DANG. That is some powerful stuff xdd 😭😭. Also heartwrenching and heartwarming lol xD. Just emotional in general.

And now some on TK! Then a bit of Tarlos and then some less emotional plot stuff lol. Anyway, ANGRY TKKKK :DDD!! XDD But besides that, seeing the subtleties in his fear - the constant bouncing, the way he always looked like he was about to cry. Just, UGH 😭😭😭, so good. And I'm sure this experience will definitely mess him up - don't even get me started on how much this'll have traumatized Carlos - xd. Honestly if we don't get a lot of it in canon, I'm excited for the fics that explore Carlos and TK's trauma from this more :). Probably more stuff of dealing with it/having it brought or rise up than deep dives but those too lol. Even if we get a lot in canon xD. Anyway, lol. It was just heartbreaking to see TK unravelling throughout the episode; in scenes like him talking with Gabriel he's clearly trying to keep it together, but by the time we get to investigating he's really losing it. Just, UGH, so good :'DDD 😭🥰❤️😍.

Now that last scene - well, the last two actually, I'll include the ambulance/after scene lol. TK having to do chest compressions and save Carlos (well, hold onto him for a little :') ) was just 😭😭😭. And seeing Carlos try to focus on TK when he was still awake? UGH, 😭😭😭😭 so good. And AAGHHHH 😭😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️. It was such an amazing scene but MAN did it hurt xd. Especially Carlos jumping away from them when he woke up 💔💔 <33. And after that, the conversation about holding onto his life :'DDD? And how TK HAS HIS LIFE 😭😭😭😭❤️❤️🥰🥰. Y'all it's over close it down it was all worth it for this xD. They're just so adorable and in love :')). Also, YESSS THE "ARE YOU GONNA RIDE WITH YOUR BOYFRIEND?" PARALLELLLLLLL!!! WHOOOO 🥰🥰😍😍😭🥳🥳🥳🥳😭. WE DESERVE IT XDDD. I will say again that it would've been even better (than 100% amazing) if it has been fiancé this time lol. Anyway xD. Oh and yeah I loved how much they said fiancé this time :'). Anybody <33. I just love acknowledgments of people's relationships okay :'DDD. But especially Tarlos being fiancés ;'))))). Idk why winky just because :D.

Anyway, plot wise I absolutely loved Tarlos in this episode. It was super interesting and obviously VERY tense, and the kidnapping (kidnappers, backstory, reason for it, etc) was actually very interesting. Not that I necessarily expected it not to be, but I didn't really think about it much lol. Also, I don't think any of us expected TK at the door xD 😭. Anyway, I also thought Trudie seemed in character the whole time with what we knew of her - she wasn't evil, and she believed in love (especially that of a mother and a son), so she let Carlos out. But she loved her son more than anything, so she protected him from Carlos. That's just the one example but yeah I thought it was really interesting, and really good :D. Also, TK working with Gabriel this episode? Obviously >>>>. As we all expected lol xD.

Now, for a quick look at next episode and after that: I hope we'll see Carlos next episode, and hear about his recovery and all that, but I think we'll see TK mention it but not actually see Carlos. I think it would be difficult to just have in one scene - like I said earlier, it's an important thing, too much to just put in a throwaway (not throwaway but I mean not one of the main plots of the episode) scene. I just think it would feel unnatural, but I don't know that we'll get a whole storyline on it next episode. And while I would absolutely love that, it makes sense. And it's been way too long since we've truly seen the others and they deserve some screen time :D. So, yeah, I think it'll get mentioned, and then in the next episode we see Carlos in/a few episodes from now we'll see some of the aftermath of this episode. See, I wouldn't be surprised at, say, a Carlos returning to work storyline in an episode (as in the one after this next one) or two, and having to deal with/explore some of the trauma through that. I mean the plot, but Carlos also having to deal with it lol. And obviously if something like that does happen we better have amazing support from TK <3. Anyway, I just hope (I know they will :'D) they support each other and love each other (not really a hope it's a fact lol), and they'll get through this :'D. Anyway, long story short, I LOVE THEM SO MUCH YOUR HONOR 😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️🥰🥰😍😍🥰🥰🥰!!! Yeah, I love them <3.

Overall, I absolutely loved this episode. I adored it :D. It was so, so amazing, and once it's been a little longer I'll probably rewatch it - I don't rewatch full episodes a lot, and usually if I watch clips it's not angsty ones, but it can be. Anyway, for example, I haven't re-watched any episode this season yet, but I think I may rewatch this one this week. If I can clam down enough lol XD. I'm still tense just thinking about it, writing this. Plus from something else I was watching, but that's besides the point lol. Anyway, obviously I loved the kidnapped plot this episode, but I really enjoyed Owen's too :). Especially since it'll apparently play into the angst we see for TK and Owen in the future :D. Which, I'm glad was directly addressed (well, seen by us lol, addressed by the show, not characters) this episode. Usually it's tiny things or things we just assume, and I imagine some of which will be brought up in that future storyline, but today we saw TK outwardly bothered by it :). Very interesting! Not confusing though, it definitely makes sense lol. Anyway! I loved seeing a bit of the 126 - the scene they were in was great lol -, though it was odd to see TK mostly doing this on his own. He wasn't, but he also wasn't interacting much with the others. This episode felt like it was literally following TK, Carlos, and Owen. Luckily for the episode Carlos didn't move much lol. . . . sorry lol XD. Anyway (also yes the period and then separate ellipse was on purpose lol), it was really cool :D. Just odd how, maybe because he wasn't at work, we didn't see any of the team's reactions to everything going on. Certainly interesting. Also, I live in FEAR of the next episode 😳👀. I think the ending of the promo there is a red herring, an in the moment kind of association - I don't think it's Marjan leaving, I think it's probably Owen or O'Brien, maybe one of the other gang members. Also I doubt Marjan will really leave, or at least not for long (if it lasts for multiple episodes I'll die <3), but I am still very much in fear :'D. TK looks way too at peace in that last shot (or one of the last shots anyway) for Marjan to be leaving though xD. But yeah, it looks super interesting and I'm excited to see that big fire, and why everything that happens happens :D. Anyway! Back to this episode lol :). Grace was also amazing, I'm interested to see where Owen's storyline is going since while it closed a chapter, it's the only storyline from this episode that's actively continuing (we're sure to see aftereffects of the other one), I'm so glad Carlos is okay :'D, and all in all I just thought it was a super great episode :DD. Very emotional 😭😭, super dramatic, and had some comedy bits xD. I LOVED it 🥰🥰🥰😍❤️❤️.

So yeah! I absolutely loved this episode. I thought it was awesome! I'm nervous for the next one! This has been my review of. . .

9-1-1: Lone Star, Season 4, Episode 4: Abandoned

It was so amazing! I'm really excited to see more of everyone next episode, though I am scared. I'll be back next week with my review of. . .

9-1-1: Lone Star, Season 4, Episode 5: Human Resources

See you then!

[shyprincessthoughts]

There is so much going through my head right now. I'm not even sure how to organize my thoughts today. After spending the entire weekend stuffed to capacity at all hours of the day and more food always within arms reach, having to come to the office and pretend to be "normal" is torturous. I am starving. Having to sit here and smell all the delicious food that people bring in and cook is driving me mad with hunger. It seems that all I can think about now is food, stuffing, gaining weight, and being round. I miss the feeling of being pinned in bed, under the tight weight of my expanded belly. I wanna go home badly. I am starving!

On another note. Got to wear a new pair of jeans today, and I may have busted the zipper. Yes, I was bloating with soda and energy drinks to try and recapture the feeling of this weekend, but holy crap. I know I have unleashed a monster in my belly, but I have never even worn these jeans before today, and they are 2 sizes bigger than my last pair.

I can't seem to focus on work either. I think that is just because I am hungry. I don't know. I wish I was stuffed to the gills and passed out in bed. Perhaps get a do over tomorrow!

Feeling tired, cranky and fat, but not fat enough!

[bluerosejuliet]

"Yes Helen had thought Penelope similar to her in many ways.

But this was one similarity she wished they had not come share."

HOLY CRAP JAMES DIIIEDD???? LEFT PEN A WIDOW WITH A CHILD???? *slides down the wall dramatically sobbing" NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! WHAT HAPPENED????

For those who are sensitive to angst or mentions of blood, please skip this post.

Ahh I was wondering how fast someone would catch on to that last part. Technically Penelope wouldn't be his widow since they never made it to the altar.

But yes James dies while on a case with Michael. The two of them joined the aurors after Hogwarts and had been hunting down a potential traitor in their department. Unfortunately, when James and Michael finally confronted them at the ministry (thinking it would be the safest place to do so given the number of people around to back them up) the man instead started casting blasting curses. While doing their best to subdue the man and protect the other people around them, James gets hit in the stomach and starts bleeding quite quickly. Unfortunately, he dies before they can get him to St. Mungo's as the spell blasted basically a hole through his stomach and organs.

What's worse is Penelope was visiting the Ministry as well since she and James have a check up for the baby at St. Mungo's. She'd stopped by Eloise's office and they two were making their way down to the auror department to meet James when they notice all the commotion.

"Sweet Merlin, someone get a medic quick, Potter Jr.'s been hit!"

Penelope feels her heart sink as she hurries over, Eloise hurrying after her. One of the aurors quickly spots her.

"Bloody hell, don't let his fiancee see him like this! Has anyone been able to reach Chief Potter?!"

She's sure she feels someone try to stop her but she ducks under them, freezing when she spots Michael kneeling over a bloodied James crying and hurries over to them.

"James!" she gasps, kneeling beside him as his eyes drift over to her.

"Penny?" he mumbles as Penelope nods, feeling tears start to rush down her face.

"Shh, save your strength love, the medics are on their way," she says softly, squeezing his hand as he gives her tired smile before frowning.

"Shouldn't be kneeling, bad for the baby," he rasps before coughing, and she feels herself pale at the sight of blood coming out of his mouth.

"Well they are your child Jamie boy, so I think they'll be fine," jokes Michael, though Penelope can see how watery his eyes are. James nods, closing his eyes as Penelope feels the panic begin to rise.

"James, James love, you need to keep your eyes open. Can you you do that for me?" she asks frantically as the sound of running footsteps approaches from behind them.

"Oh Merlin not James. For Godric's sake, not my son!" she hears Mr. Potter exclaim as he hurries over to them.

"I'm just need to rest my eyes Penny. Just another five minutes, then we can go," he sighs as Harry collapses beside them and Michael quickly relinquishes his spot.

"James, she's right. You need to keep your eyes open until the medics arrive. They should be here any minute," urges Harry as his son blinks at him.

"Dad? What are you doing in our apartment? Am I late for work?" he asks confused as his father shakes his head.

"You got hurt pretty badly James but things should be okay once the medics get here. But you need to keep your eyes open and save your strength," explained Harry, choking back tears.

"Kay," mumbles James.

"You have that appointment with Penny today right? Are you hoping for a little James or a little Penelope?" asks Michael, trying to lighten the mood as they all wait for the medics to arrive.

What was taking them so long?

"Girl, want my mini-Penny," mumbles James as Michael nods.

"Probably best. I think McGonagall might just retire if she heard you were having a boy. Hopefully little Michelle takes after her mummy," laughed Michael, though Penelope could tell he was trying hard not loose it.

James muttered something that was to soft for them to hear.

"Son, you're speaking to quietly for once, can you talk louder?" asked Harry as James looked over at Penelope and smiled.

"Minerva. Her name is Minerva Helen Potter," said James softly as Penelope let out a laugh while Harry smiled.

"I'm sure headmistress McGonagall would be flattered," said Harry softly.

"She'll be the most badass witch with a name like that," agreed Michael and James nodded, eyes glazing over as he looked at Penelope.

"Love you Penny," he mumbled, eyes closing as his chest finally stopped moving.

"James, James, JAMES!!" she shouted, begging her fiance to open his eyes again as the medics arrived and checked him over.

One of them checked his pulse before shaking their head as Harry collapsed over his son, sobbing.

She felt someone pull her away from James but she shook them off.

"Penelope, you need to let him go. You have to let them take him now," choked Eloise as the world closed in around her. The last thing she saw before everything went dark, was James' face, eyes closed with peaceful bloody smile on his face.

_____________________________________________________________

I know some of you are probably screaming at me right now but this has kind of been the plan since the start. I kind of switched her and Francesca's story abit in this AU but the baby(ies) will be okay!

Penelope is going to take a while to heal but she'll have Helen, the Marauders, the Weasley's, and the Potters to help her through this. And of course the Bridgertons which also means the return of a certain wayward traveler.

[risu5waffles]

Dev Diary # Holy Fuckin' Shite!

i'm on E! Like, from today! That was the big thing that probably everyone guessed already. That's cool. Y'all know me, and that's part of why i love you. i know this isn't really the destination (certainly not the Final Destination. That would require Tony Todd showing up. i would totally accept my ironically foreshadowed Pitagora Switch death if it meant i got to tell Tony Todd how cool he was), but more finally getting to the train station to start the next leg of this. i'm not really all kinds of moods. That would imply the bad mixed in wiv the good. Right now it's all good moods. Like, i rationally know any number of things that could temper or dampen how i feel, but i just don't? i feel like i got the chance to take a big step today. There's a lot of folx whose help i needed to get here, that means so fucking much i can't even put it into words. Right now it's after midnight, so even if i did know how to well express, i'd still probably muck it up. But i feel happy, and anticipatory, and excited, and just so relieved. Thank you, all of you, for helping me get this far.

As far as the hub in the video. Between the servers being for shite, and that nasty mental patch i had a couple(?) weeks back, it's been hard feeling motivated to do any creating, let alone working on a big, complex, fucking fiddly-as-fuck project like the Archives level. So this was a nice compromise. Working in the idiom, wivout the worry of all the moving parts in the actual; and on a smaller scale i could see a solid result from right away. The librarian ghosts were an idea i had that i really couldn't justify putting in the Archive. They're really quite simple, but i worried they might be too visually distracting in an action sequence, and they'd be another chunk of logic and emitters to dump on the thermo, and it really doesn't like us now as it is. They turned out nice here, tho' i'd wanted their fade in to max out at 60%, and i couldn't seem to get that to work the way i'd wanted. The clouds were an idea that i'd already put into use in the Canyons set that i use for the show sometimes. A bit too busy for the level, both in a visual distraction sense, and an emitted objects sense. but they work well here. Dead simple set-up too. The freaking teleport... it works so well on the Sushi set because you're only ever going one way. i suppose i could do it like that here too, but i had the idea that you could go in either direction, and i still haven't quite worked out how that logic's supposed to go. i mean, i get the logic, it's just keeping it from triggering too often and causing a situation where i just get locked in a teleport loop.

Holy crap. i am so, so tired. It's good tired, but i have to go to sleep now. Y'all take care, be safe, and have a wonderful day!

[taegularities]

Hello lovely Rid 💕💕

I just wanted to drop in and see how you're doing and what you've been up to. How are work and uni treating you? I saw you talking about your rude project partner and I'm sorry you had to deal with that 😔 Group projects are the worst. Last semester I had to work with this guy who basically treated me like I didn't know anything, he was explaining the simplest things to me, like he even asked me if I knew who Nietzsche was??? when we literally take a philosophy class together??? lol anyway.

Also I saw you talking about not feeling that great mentally and I wanted to say that I'm always here for you! If you ever need to talk about it, about anything, I'm always here to listen. I might not be the greatest at giving advice or comforting words, but it sometimes just helps to let it out too.

Yeah, basically just wanted you to know that you have all of my love and support. And that everything will be okay. Love youuu 💞💞💞

hi, my love 🤍

i was off work and uni today bc of a holiday, so i spent my day doing nothing too much — but other than that, work is going really well! uni... yeah, i'm lowkey tired of it, but we're powering through lol and doing pretty well so far !! and holy crap fr, project partners are the worst sometimes :') they're either lazy or put themselves on a pedestal and hcfjjdhd 😭 a lot of non-philosophy students have heard of Nietzsche, too, my guy :')

also, i don't think you need to be able to give good advice tbh — you always say things that i truly need and that means a lot. that message alone was so damn comforting. thank you so much for saying that, and please know that i'm here for you anytime, too 🤍 gonna get through this down, too, i'm sure.

thank you for dropping by and caring. it's a huge deal, honestly. i appreciate you and will give you all my love for as long as possible, okay 💕