#i'm on a right kick
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sotc · 6 months ago
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Thank you to the absolutely INCREDIBLE @theesteppenwolf for taking on my commission of my warden, Milana Tabris and Zevran!
It's been a while since I've been able to treat myself to a comm and with having finished origins for the first time last month, these two have been on my mind A LOT!! This perfectly captures their little cute and flirty dynamic and I'm so so happy. 😻🫶
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teaboot · 5 months ago
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Sometimes at work it's not my place to tell people the things I want to say, and I find I often go home at the end of the rougher days to stand blankly in my shower and tell myself over and over what I wish I could pass on.
This accomplishes very little, and mostly just gives me a tension headache, but through it all I think I've narrowed myself down to a few solid things I'd like to tell people the most.
You can't change people. Not permanently, not for anythig. You can support them, encourage them, love them, give them tools and opportunities and resources, but you can't make them change. They can change themselves if they want to, but they have to want to, and they have to want it for themselves, because they're the only one that's certain to be with them forever.
For better or worse, you make your own choices, and blaming bad choices on others doesn't only work to absolve you of responsibility- it also robs you of control. Because if you say you only did something because I did something, then you arent only shifting blame- you're admitting that you cannot control yourself, that you cannot truly make choices for yourself, that other people can control you- and as long as you truly beleive that, you'll keep facing the same problems over and over. You'll keep letting others dictate your choices, because you'll beleive that they can, and you'll never be free.
White knights on horseback are from fairytales. Nobody can help you if ou're not willing to help yourself. To try, to put the dirty work in, to belive you're worth that effort- Act as though nobody is coming to save you. From a struggle, from pain, from bad relationships, from yourself. And when you do save yourself, because you will, because failure here isn't an option if you want to survive, you'll never find another dragon that can keep you prisoner.
Don't say anything to anyone that you wouldn't want them remembering forever.
Doing the right thing in bad circumstances is hard. It's the hardest thing. But if you make the choice to do that hard thing anyways, despite your fear, you'll go on the rest of your like knowing that you're the sort of person who did something.
The present only seems the hardest because the past I over and the future hasn't happened.
There's so much joy ahead of you, the kind you can't possibly understand until you see it yourself.
The responsibility of consequences is often disguised as the power of permission. "I won't do this if you help me", "I'll work on my anger if you do this for me", "I promised you I'd quit, but can I have just one?". The unspoken question is, "Can it be your fault if this goes badly?"
You cant make someone love you the way you need to be loved. Someone can love you very much and still be bad for you, even if you love them very much in return. Two people can love each other very, very much, and try their very best, and still be wrong for each other.
Sometimes being near to someone changes you, even in good ways, and the people you become don't fit together as well as the people you were.
Caring takes work. Even if it's real. Especially if it's real. And the most important gestures aren't the grand, poetic, songs-and-flowers-and-tears moments; they're getting out of bed even though you don't want to. Paying attention to things you don't enjoy. Scrubbing pans, or opening a window, saying "thank-you", or helping carry groceries into the house. The small things fill the big things- without the small, boring, mediocre things, big things feel hollow.
Thrre is honour and dignity in humble work.
If you are a cruel and spiteful person, then you will find every place you visit to be full of the same cruel, spiteful people. This is not because the world is as cruel as you, but because everywhere you are, you will be disliked. This is the curse that comes with being persistently cruel and spiteful.
If you are a kind and ppsitive person, you will repeatedly encounter kind and positive people, because as they grow familiar with you, they will be happier to have you near. This is the reward of being a kind and positive person.
When splitting paths with loved ones, briefly or forever, aim for your last words to always be "I love you".
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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 3 days ago
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The Yiling Band Tour!
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#wen qing#wen ning#digital art#animation#This was a fun style experiment and a good lesson in 'hey you have less than a week to make this project. You cannot be a perfectionist'.#Right now - posting these slightly upgraded frames is really helping me stay motivated through the learning grind.#But progress is happening! I'm so excited to show it off when it's done!#Someone with a very discerning eye might be able to figure out what I'm doing with just this one frame. I will take the risk.#That aside; I often think about how the nature of cultivators in MDZS's world also entailed knowing about other art forms.#Meaning that Wen Qing and Wen Ning likely were good musicians and artists.#We know WWX is also good in art and music so...really...what was stopping them from forming a band?#Allow me to pitch this AU: Yiling Opera company AU. WWX and the Wen remnants form a performing trope and tour towns and cities.#Not only do they find a way to keep on the move (no home...only the road and the people around you).#But you also get to be in costume - which is a socially appropriate way to always be in disguise.#Yiling Laozu would thus be a character and/or WWX's stage name.#Would he be good at keeping it a secret? Hard to say with WWX! I think it would be a poorly-kept secret at best.#He likes to brag and show off a bit too much. This many would be either the worst or best spy.#Consider the drama of JC losing his mind over his ex-brother becoming a clown. Imagine JC Getting his ass kicked by said clown.#Imagine the delectable secret identity drama potential of Lan Wangji stumbling upon the trope's performances.#We did not get nearly enough of the secret identiy drama in MDZS canon. I need more of it.#I need that man conflicted with his feelings for the same person. I need them playing mind games with each other at all times.
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good-to-drive · 7 days ago
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In a past life George and Paul were brothers but then in the life before that Paul had George flayed alive for trying to overthrow his regime and unfortunately Paul only remembers the sibling life and George only remembers the other one
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rinksrats · 3 months ago
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hockey screencap 6/???
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queeringclassiclit · 7 months ago
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Which adaptation of Sherlock Holmes is the most queer?
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*not including House M.D. because it's not really an adaptation, or any overtly queer pastiches like My Dearest Holmes or The Adventure of the Furtive Festivity because that's not really a fair contest
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abyssal-idiot · 2 months ago
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doctorho · 4 months ago
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thinking about viktor with a chronically ill reader. you know? we see the vision, right?
it just works.
the thing with chronic pain, illnesses, disabilities, all of that - is that you can't always see them. sometimes you can, sure, you can see the mobility aids and the not-standing-up-for-too-long and the bruising from blood draws and sometimes you can see the compression garments, the pills and inhalers and the i'm fine, i just need a moment-
but most people just don't pay attention to that. or if they do, they don't put the pieces together fast enough to figure out what's really going on under the surface. viktor does, though; he's been there, and most of the time he's way beyond hiding it. or, well, he's way beyond hiding some of it.
walking with a cane was like carrying a neon sign that said yes there is something different here. yes i can't walk the way you can. no it's not going to get better. that last part wasn't directly evident just from him using a cane, sure, but with the way his cane looked, it should've been pretty clear. He had used one practically forever and it had evolved with him, he'd made it as comfortable to use as it could be, had even made it match his uniform.
so yeah. viktor knew what it was like. he'd been the disabled kid forever, even if some of the others were never going to say it out loud. that was just a thing about him, and he knew how hard it could be to navigate something like that in an academic environment. it was hard to admit you couldn't do something, that you had to sit down, that you needed a moment. that sometimes your body was just falling apart for no particular reason and it was just another tuesday.
sometimes it was easier to sit with the pain than take medication in the middle of a meeting, knowing that someone would make a bigger deal out of it than it had to be, even if it was just raising their eyebrows meaningfully. they'd think about you differently afterwards.
he could see you push through it, and he didn't blame you, really, he did that himself, too, but - he didn't want you to hurt yourself. you hadn't been in the lab as long as he had, so he could understand you being a little cautious with how you acted and what you told people, but he didn't want you to feel like you had to put on a show for him. he was, after all, walking around with the equivalent of a light-up sign of i'm disabled, too, and he liked to think of himself as someone who wouldn't come off as judgemental about stuff like that. other stuff, sure, stupid stuff, but not that.
so when he sees you dealing with the telltale signs of being in pain, he conveniently sends jayce and the others to pick up some parts that would take a while to collect and that they wouldn't actually need until the next day. but better prepared, right? what's the harm.
and then he comes to sit next to you and sighs deeply. leans back. relaxes to the best of his abilities. asks if you're alright, and sounds like he already knows the answer.
you sigh too, shift your position, and answer with it's fine. and viktor recognizes the strain in your voice, in your posture, and he knows there's a key difference between this and i'm fine, but he'll take it. it's not what he'd like, but he'll take it.
he leans over to dig around his belongings, and then offers you a bag of candied almonds.
"if you're going to take pain killers, it's better if you eat something first," he says, and you just stare at him. "i assume you haven't taken anything yet. nothing strong enough, at least," he continues, casually, and you take a deep breath and accept the almonds.
he smiles. continues like this is totally normal. "jayce made me start carrying around some food so i could do that. for myself, i mean. but it doesn't hurt to have some snacks around either way, i suppose."
he knows he's skirting around the real topic of the conversation, but he also knows that sometimes people get uncomfortable around his bluntness, and you hadn't exactly told him you were in pain, so he'd understand it if you were a little weirded out. after all, most people didn't notice this stuff. but you haven't run away from him, and you're eating, and then you're digging around your own bag to take your medication, so he'll count this as a win.
thanks, you exhale, handing back the almonds, and he takes a handful of them himself.
"i'm fine, really," you continue, not really looking at him, "it's just hard sometimes."
he nods. it was - even if he didn't know the specifics, he knew that it was true. especially since you had been hiding it from the others. and with something like that, something the others couldn't see, the invisible step to let them see it would grow bigger and bigger with time, when they expected you to be able to do everything they did without a second thought.
he also knows you didn't mean fine in the dictionary definition sense of the word, but more in the this is normal and you don't need to worry -sense. and that's fine. he was used to functioning on different parameters than most people, so this version of fine was good enough.
my body just isn't always very reliable, you explain with a sigh, and that he knows better than well.
he hmms in answer and nods. he knows.
you exhale a small laugh at that.
and he's glad you're relaxing, wants you to be as comfortable here as possible.
"these people are alright," he says casually, "as far as healthy people go."
viktor smiles a little.
another win for him.
and then he sits with you, talking and not talking and enjoying the quiet comfort if it all. and then he makes up some excuse so you don't have to keep working yet. he was well aware what it was like trying to work through the pain, waiting for the medication to kick in, and he wouldn't exactly recommend it. besides, as a rule, you were more likely to make mistakes if you were thinking through a layer of pain, and that was just plain bad planning. it made much more sense to just take a break and continue when you felt better. in fact, he was in dire need of a caramel latte and a pastry right now, do you want anything?
and after that it just... sort of falls into place. you're more relaxed around him. and the others, too, but he's the only one that really gets it. doesn’t make a whole thing out of it when you need to sit down for a moment or take a break while your pain killers kick in. he's just there.
he knows what it's like, and that feels like an invisble curtain lifted from between you and him, and it's just easy. you don't have to pretend you're doing better than you actually are and he doesn’t hide it when he's in pain, either.
most people don't see it, but there's a mutual understanding there; yeah, sometimes life sucks and sometimes you're in pain and no it's not fair that sometimes your body is falling apart and life just keeps going. you can't do all the things you want to do but you still have to show up for the other life-stuff and if you took a day off every time you felt bad you would never get anything done and it just never stops.
but sometimes there's someone who'll sit through it with you without judgement. offer a warm drink and a snack and some understanding.
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sulfurzee · 3 months ago
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This is Sid Wright, and we're starting your day right!
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a2zillustration · 11 months ago
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Gottem
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beelxebub · 8 months ago
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i totally get why people make the captain a military man or ex-military in modern AUs because it makes sense but i personally believe he would simply be one of those middle aged autistic men whose special interest is wwii military vehicles
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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 2 years ago
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Get Souped!
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r3tr0raven · 3 months ago
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On this day of last year (Dec. 14, 2023), I finally completed a several months long project for my dearest sister. (Permission was granted to show this.)
☆Traditional scrapbook art of Sun!☆
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This was not only a sweet Christmas gift of the silly daycare attendant; but more of a silent milestone for me to prove that I can complete something through heavy depression.
It took far too long than originally planned- but she loves it all the same.. and that makes it all worth it! And honestly, I'm happy I made this.
Half-Documented process under the cut!
---☆Welcome to UnderTheCut!☆---
So glad you stopped by! Apologies if quality is off, my adhd kept forgetting, so the photos were half-rushed. *cOuGh* OKAY! Here we go!
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^First sketch with blue pencil and detailed redraw with classic pencil.
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^Pencil cleanup as well as line art with 1mm (main) and 1.5mm (fingers and inner detail) black pen.
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^Sunny fully coloured with Ohuhu's (main colouring) highlighters (special hue shading, painted child hands & selected stickers) and colour pencil (stickers & markings). Golden Poska for bells, ruffle swirls, and under eye-lashes. Light shiny stickers here and there too.
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^Background card brainstorm loose fitting and after proper cut an' placement. (Aka: Before & After.)
And that's that!
Till this day, it is one of my most prized projects. And to know it's in the hands of someone I deeply care for makes my heart whole.♡
Now all of you can see it! I hope it can help inspire to explore a little more into traditional arts; the process can be lengthy, but in the end it'll all be worth it to make someone smile. :)
As always; Thank You for reading and checking out this artistic little corner- wish you all a wondrous day/evening dca (& fnaf) community!
~R3tr0. ☆*○.
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astrid-delacour · 1 year ago
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for those of you who may be wondering "why is everyone so happy Henry Kissinger died" or "who even is Henry Kissinger" here's a brief explanation: He's a war criminal responsible for the death of millions to the point he's often compared to Hitler because he killed so many innocent people. He was secretary of state under Nixon and a national security advisor under Gerald Ford. He is directly responsible for the reason the Vietnam war went on 7 years longer than it was supposed to. He was responsible for Laos being bombed 270 million times, making it the most bombed country ever. He's also responsible for carpet bombing Cambodia despite there being literally no reason to. Also he overthrew Chile's first female president and replaced her with the dictator Augusto Pinochet who killed thousands. And this is literally just the tip of the iceberg.
Edit: I've been told that the president overthrown in Chile was Salvador Allende, who was the first democratically elected socialist president and that the first female president was Michelle Bachelet in 2006. Sorry for my mistake.
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hyacinthsdiamonds · 8 months ago
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I know we joke Lawrence Stroll is basically a bond villain, but my god, I have to take off my hat to him. Man joined this sport purely to support his son's career and dreams, and has seemingly just managed (not officially confirmed as yet) to nab the key to achieving those dreams in certified freaking car genius Adrian Newey, the man behind car designs that won 6 constructors' championships, 7 drivers championships, and earned 120 podiums to date for red bull alone. He's won 12 constructors' championships in total with 3 different Formula One teams (red bull, williams & mclaren). And now, he's apparently chasing Max too. I have to admire this man's sheer commitment, I now need him to win (sign newey & Max when the time comes) so badly now to see him rub the entire paddocks nose in it lmao.
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crossbackpoke-check · 2 months ago
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blessed be (lorscher bienensegen) | telling the bees (wiþ ymbe)
"Bees" [remixed, abridged], Claudia Emerson // "Letter to Someone Living Fifty Years from Now" [remixed. abridged], Matthew Olzmann // "Letter to my Great, Great Grandchild" [remixed, abridged], J.P. Grasser | Len Redkole, Nina Weiss, Brian Babineau, Christian Peterson, Mitchell Leff, Dave Isaac, Megan DeRuchie
#liv in the replies#if i were insane there would be an appendix to this called telling the bees however i finished this at 3am yesterday its nearly midnight &#my cutoff is when my ahl asg stream cuts. GOD by now i should know when i save a poem like hmm. not applicable but god it'd be perfect#THAT'S A CURSE. DON'T PUT IT IN THE DOCUMENT. DON'T SAVE IT. FORGET YOU READ IT. IT'S A CURSE!! <- things i should've told myself when i#went to read bees was already like 👀 &then the first line was FUCKING CLAUDE!!!!! anyway. sorry also this is like. insanely long but ALSO#regarding mf claude. the first picture is a leftover from the claude edit i made years ago so that feels GREAT and BEAUTIFUL & also for me#as ever y'all will be getting a full breakdown. starting with what i regularly have a breakdown about every time i see it which is joelle's#james 1:12 tattoo which if u use the king james version (gay) is blessed is he who perseveres under trial because having stood the test he#will receive the crown of life the lord has promised to those who love him. which i always go blessed is he who perseveres // for those who#love him. and that's joel. ignoring him getting it then getting sent down on his birthday IGNORING IT. also we know the frosty/maple leafs#hahaha fuck the flyers lore right? good. that's morgan and his dad also bc i love a baby picture & it was perfect. also the dave isaac pic#next was in an article talking about morgan 'stung' by draft camp. shut UP. i have an alt for tells him with claude and ALSO hate the#elephant w/phil bc myesie u fuckin leaf-eater (giraffe) but i love the composition of that jake shot & had to use it (it was also almost#tells him) with thylacine jakey frog nolan also raff the extinct whale bc i needed him here. if my editing on incapable of joy is bad no on#tell me i did some SHENANIGANS to put morgan in there & color-pick/alter his jersey. new skill. i think euphoria is one of my favorite for#the sake of pride night but ALSO that polaroid kills me very time &they're so stoners contemplate the universe but ALSO i love transcendenc#so that whole three photo string i think is my favorite. and i was in looking at these like listen okay it's okay there are only so many#photos in the world. you can repeat from others you've seen before. except ALSO there's so many of these freaks together do you separate#and every time i was like there can't be more there was more. don't ask the number of back-ups for the sweetest blossom/pinch/ruffle sets#okay also the ready to be stung one was a surprise favorite fit for me because i love that line but wasn't sure how to convey it? so it's o#i think with how morgan's face is and the almost of it all. yes joel hardest trier is in there purely for me i do have an alt but. how coul#u doubt him. insert sasha's tweet abt how much joel loves philly but all his quotes have been abt being excited for morgan to have a fresh#start. AND NOT EVEN TWO MINUTES IN CALGARY AND YOU'RE STILL INSEPARABLE god i literally googled frost farabee calgary to find the last#blessed [because. heard but not seen you know of everyone traded but you went together. not seen. (which ties into the terrible appendix)]#and IT DIDN'T EVEN TAKE ME TWO MINUTES TO FIND THAT!!! WHAT DO YOU MEANNN anyway. sorry again it's so long & also i will be vanishing a wee#& a half after posting [redacted] is kicking my ass & im doing [redacted fun things WAIT ACTUALLY U CAN KNOW ONE i'm seeing hippo campus]#morgan frost#joel farabee#philadelphia flyers#calgary flames
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