#i'm just. why would i trust
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
i think what's really irritating about situations where i'm offered random dogs is that having multiple dogs makes people think i'm some sort of charity when it's actually the opposite. my pack is heavily and carefully curated. i know what i want from a dog that is coming into my pack and don't stray from these wants for the good and wellbeing of my existing dogs. the only person i think is acceptable to offer me a dog is a breeder i've been already talking to about potentially getting a dog from already point blank and period. (and even then i've turned down a great offer recently from MY dogs breeder because it just wasn't timed correctly/dog import law bullcrap etc). just because i have made the choice for myself to have multiple dogs does not make me a charity home for dogs people cannot care for anymore. i sincerely feel for dogs in this sort of situation, but malamutes are overall better off going to experienced fosters and breed specific rescues instead of having people blind message people who own the same breed on your facebook timeline. and i don't trust a non-breed specific persons evaluation of temperament at ALL. for a malamute to have success in re-homing you must be knowledgable about the breed or else they're going to end up right back where they started.
#dogblr#alaskan malamute#i'm just. why would i trust#the person i had to remind not to run dogs in 85F in JULY years ago who still runs her siberians in summer#who has unhealth tested litters of puppies every year just so they can run 'sled dog puppy library programs' locally#on the temperament of a breed they are unfamiliar with?#and like where is the dog's breeder? why can't they take her back? oh wait...#pro responsible breeding#pro ethical breeding#i see this happen to so many sport dog people honestly it really irritates me#when my fellow musher friends have to tell people publically to stop thinking they'll just take huskies and husky mix dogs#out of the goodwill of their heart#when they're trying to build race kennels and breeding programs#yes the dogs deserve a home but having multiple dogs does not = charity
39 notes
·
View notes
Text
another one that I'm not super happy with, but continuing to mess with it isn't going to help! so here he is! 🦇 there was a lot I was trying to get across in this one, so uhhhhh hopefully it reads.
we're almost out of unique magics now...just Ace (and maybe Grim?) left!
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers#unique magic posters#drawing lilia slightly more on-model than i usually do feels so wrong#i just want to draw the tallest spikes#lilia: (writing down his height) 5'6“...5'2” in a hat#(actually i'm pretty sure he would just write 'fun-size' but i digress)#anyway lilia. hey lilia. your magic is not cradle-specific so WHY is it called that#did it come in like 'so in like 500-ish years we're going to have a significant moment with a cradle. just trust me bro.'#'in the meantime enjoy having the weirdest magic name ever'#probably came in useful for raising kids though#don't put that in your mouth don't you know where it's BEEN#because i do#(long stare off into middle distance) i know where it's been
3K notes
·
View notes
Text
3.13 | ᴛʜᴇ ʟᴀꜱᴛ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇ ᴛɪᴍᴇ ʟᴏʀᴅꜱ
link to the post I accidentally wound up prattling endlessly about in the tags 💀
#doctor who#tenth doctor#martha jones#david tennant#freema agyeman#(good god. without even meaning to I went into 'psycho stream of consciousness tagging' mode. whoops)#always thinking of that one post#where OP mentions how the writing tries to make it seem like Ten looked right through Martha/etc#which is a good concept for demonstrating his grief. but also isnt what we really see throughout S3#(not saying he wasn't a grieving MESS because he was. but he's a multi-faceted character and he can grieve AND value Martha simultaneously)#but we see such fierce protective instinct+trust; a bond between them that obviously isn't some one-sided affair#+ his clear intent to impress her/be admired and respected by her (apropos the post that inspired this sentiment)#but RTD obviously isn't the most infallible of writers#*cough* [list of reasons I cut down b/c long] *cough*#He can make Martha say “he's not seeing me/he doesn't look at me” but then you just watch with your eyes and you get a different story#It's like the opposite of when Moffat tries to make you believe someone is super important through bold claims without showing his work#instead RTD tries to make you believe Ten is functionally blind to Martha's existence while showing numerous examples of the contrary#then bring in the novels+myspace blog+cartoon that he all signed off on. Which tie together to create a canon backdrop#basically I said all of that to say this—#it's the whole reason I had to make this blog to get this sort of stuff off my chest (even if it's just for me sometimes)—#Ten not only SAW Martha—he trusted+respected+enjoyed+adored her. And it's a good thing#it doesn't cheapen his grief. I feel like people must think it does which is why I constantly see bad unnecessary takes about them#it just means that Martha was SO important to him and it's ok. they had a killer friendship outside the unrequited minutiae and it's ok#there's even a comic where 'someone' makes him believe she's Martha and he makes her change her appearance because “it's still too raw”#Just saying you don't say that sort of thing about someone whose existence you're all blasé about#Martha already gets fucked by the narrative in enough ways without people totally missing her significance in the Doctor's life#you don't have to ship them to appreciate them on a deeper level#anyway. fuck. if you actually read all of these then I'm so sorry#creating this blog has taught me that there are only like two people who feel the same way about tenmartha matters and it’s fine 😂#but if I didn’t give myself an outlet it would probably form a tumor SO there we are then
48 notes
·
View notes
Text
Okay yeah I wasn't ever gonna be contained with just one post so, Callowmoore stuff that's on rotisserie in my brain from ep.94
Long and deep looks at each other and a hug right off the bat!
When asked by Laudna if they were okay in ep. 91, Ashton deflected with 'say that again?' and 'are any of us?', but when Fearne asks they give a genuine answer and then also ask her how she's feeling, because she's been quiet and they care
Ashton, despite hurting when they're touched and exhausted so the chronic pain is as intense as the first time, still wanting to cuddle with Fearne - and feeling at ease when they do
And like, the way they were trying to articulate it implies that they've wanted to ask for quite some time, but the timing has been off or situations have gotten in the way, and they don't want to wait any longer
But also they don't ask if they can cuddle they ask if Fearne wants to; they want to, but they ask Fearne if she doesn't want to sleep alone, because her comfort is as important or more important than their own
Fearne given her past experiences with people of course thinks they mean the other kind of company, which she notes she does want (so that's not off the table) but asks if they could just cuddle - to which Ashton doesn't entirely deny either, but notes that they're tired and in a lot of pain right now so they too was asking for the same
Also the fact that Fearne, who has been in a threesome inside a corrupted haunted wood, will later flirt with a dark echo of herself, and spooned with a ghost pirate captain, got so flustered about asking Ashton that she just wants to cuddle
Despite the awkwardness they still just laugh and joke together through it, they're awkward but it's in a sweet way
All of Ashton's immediate action the second they realised Fearne was missing - similar to how they wanted to find her after the shard incident but this time in a position where they could take action - no nonsense, no pissing contest with Chetney about her scent being on their bed, "Find. Them. Now."
And then still being soft after seeing Fearne again, because all that matters right now is that she's still here. And another post I saw said it better but, Ashton never seeks to change or 'correct' parts of who Fearne is; she can still follow cute animals just next time bring a buddy along (which given how they were in bed together would imply meaning them), they love her for her, fae and all, they just want her to be safe
Not entirely ep. 94 but given how on 91 Ashton pointed out that they needed to sleep and 'figure out who they wanted to be', and then here ask Fearne to be there beside them so they could have someone to wake up to, it to me at least says a lot about what Ashton has already decided; and how despite both of them having dealt with grief and anger and helplessness by bottling it up, hiding away, and shouldering it alone, this time they both wanted to just feel at ease with each other
#callowmoore#ashton greymoore#fearne calloway#fearne x ashton#ashton x fearne#ashley johnson#taliesin jaffe#critical role#cr3#cr3 spoilers#c3e94#cr spoilers#bells hells#did I mention that I'm not normal about them because AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA#shipper rotisserie brain go brrrrr#Orym's passive perception 'damnnn' was great too#I have been praying for 5 weeks for just a tiny bit of comfort between the two and I got a whole buffet!#I mean I trust Matt and narratively it was juicy but c'mon man you couldn't give them one night? The night of FCG blowing up??#I wonder: if Ashton was the big spoon would they have woke up with Fearne to join the walk/fight?#I ofc wish they returned to the same bed but she was extra exhausted - next time hopefully#Zathuda still needs to die - painfully - maybe they can do it together; steal his dragon and fancy cloak#Ludinus too - live show's a big stage (half expect Sam to debut his new player then) big post-fight kiss at Aeor maybe/please?#hopefully we can also see them pickpocketing each other again because it's their love language#but so is the softness and comfort and awkward giggling and innuendo#which is why I hate that most villains tend to look past/through Ashton - they don't see them but Fearne sees them; they see each other#tag reader bonus - Ashton always sleeps on Fearne's right: so she can see/poke their glass slab but also so their stone arm doesn't cut her
99 notes
·
View notes
Text
Y’ALL THE MARKETING TEAM DID PIXAR’S ELEMENTAL SO DIRTY
#knox rambles#Elemental#ITS SO GOOD???????#ITS GOT SOME FIRE (pun intended) LINES#AND THE TRAILER IS LITERALLY NOTHING LIKE THE MOVIE Y'ALL DONT' UNDERSTAND#I'M FLIPPING TABLES#I SWEAR DISNEY IS JUST TRYING TO OFF PIXAR RN WITH HOW BAD THEIR MARKETING HAS BEEN LATELY#actually i notice marketing in general has just dropped in quality lately but what'eve's#my bro wanted to take me to see it so badly and i couldn't understand why until i watched it like#trust me dudes it's GORGEOUS#AND its got amazing story#like#UGH I'M FISTFIGHTING THE TRAILER#IT LEADS YOU TO BELIEVE THE MOVIE IS ABOUT SOMETHING TOTALLY DIFFERENT#LIKE ITS SO BAD#THE MOVIE ITSELF IS TOP TIER QUALITY#I would say i'm overhyping but then i remember some of the lines and the way the characters and relationship are written and just#no i'm really not overhyping it's actually really good#there's so much mroe going on in that movie than just romance my dude
311 notes
·
View notes
Text
Since I'm still thinking about Ming today... Let us compare Three Mings.
1. Ming when he's Scared*
*caught off guard by domesticity/affection and how much he likes and wants it
2. Ming when he's Trying*
*to fix the shit he does when he's scared, but still seem cool and controlled (of highest priority always)
3. Ming when he's Scared*
*deeply fucking terrified, scrambling, on the precipice of a complete break from sense and reason which he shan't recover from for years
And the thing is, which of these Mings do you think stays with Joe in his bones, in his gut. Which of these Mings are the Mings Joe remembers and thinks of as true?
Ming my babygirl, you have so so soooo much more Trying to try.
#from i'm not your boyfriend to you wouldn't want me to be your boyfriend to you can't LIVE without me as your boyfriend#which is the truth ming? like WE know but does joe?#i was specifically thinking about this wrt the jealousy fight#ming who is lying: WHY WOULD I EVER BE JEALOUS OF YOU? DON'T BE SO FULL OF YOURSELF#ming who is honest later: fine. i was jealous. /cutely eats noodles and smiles#joe is so happy in the latter moment#but which of those moments is he going to take with him ming?#which of those moments is going to loom large in his mind about first his self-worth and later his trust in you and your feelings?#ming tells joe of course i'm happy and is telling the truth#but first he lied so many times about not really wanting or needing to be here#you chose me joe! i didn't choose you! this is just whatever to me you're just a stand-in#and those lies hurt and hit so much harder than the pockets of truth#long before the chains came out... ming you really fumbled this bag#my stand in#mingjoe#dear diary
64 notes
·
View notes
Text
Health and Hybrids (IV)👽👻💚
[I can't remember the original prompt posters for the life of me but here's a mashup between a cryptid!Danny, presumed-alien!Danny, dp x dc, and whatever prompt made the one body horror meat grinder fic.]
PART ONE is here PART TWO is here PART THREE is here and this is part four 💚 Ao3 Is here for all parts
Where we last left off... Our boy is recovering from Bad Stuff in the Watchtower (involuntarily). Danny gets a bandaid for a variety of wounds that definitely are not covered by a little adhesive bandaid, but hey! Bart’s trying.
Trigger warnings for this story: body horror | gore | post-dissection fic | dehumanization (probably) | my awful attempts at following DC canon. On with the show.
💚👻👽👻💚
Batman clicks on the projector screen. Everyone in the room has access to the slides and note-taking abilities on their tablets. The assembled heroes quietly select their app of choice, sit back in their chairs, and ready themselves for the meeting.
“Good afternoon. For everyone in alternate time zones, good morning or good evening as they apply. Before I begin the approved agenda for this meeting, there are developments on the base that everyone ought to be aware of.”
Click. The slide changes to a fuzzy image of an unusually dense collection of shadows in a typical medical-wing setup. The specific location isn’t clear, but the phenomenon itself is stark against the white walls and flooring. The static on the cameras is atypical for the quality of equipment used on the base.
“There is an extraterrestrial lifeform that has made Medical Wing C their territory. Yes, we know they are there. No, they cannot be moved at this time. Please do not try to take initiative in doing so. Please do not enter the aforementioned medical wing. If you see this entity outside of the medical wing, please leave, ignore them, or otherwise make your presence known. They are generally in search of isolation and seek to remain unseen. All known attempts at self-defense by this entity have been largely non-hostile so far, but we do not know how or if that behavior will change as they heal.”
Batman…takes a breath. Not sighs. The vigilante has more control than that.
“They are severely injured. The exact nature of their injuries are still unknown, based on their—unique physiology—“
Barry squints at the screen. Nope. The cloud still looks like a cloud.
“—But the identified fluids they secrete have been recognized as at least partially composed of red blood platelets and a modified plasma. Based on their aggressive self-defense, the persistent seclusion behavior, and their general lack of responsiveness, the injuries are considered deeply severe and require rest to treat. It is imperative that non-medical staff and on-base heroes maintain as little contact with the entity as possible. We are attempting both delicate medical treatment and non-verbal communication, which have both failed thus far. We have reason to believe that the extraterrestrial is sentient and capable of communication based on—“
Click. The next slide is an image of a nearly-obliterated craft of some kind—tinted glass, wings, debris everywhere, twisted shards of metal that look like they scrape like teeth. Charred black everywhere. Barely visible is a torn–through upholstered seat ten yards away.
A hiss breaks the silence in the back of the room. That’s nasty-looking wreck.
“—This craft. It is relatively rudimentary in its design, and would not have held up to prolonged space travel, but would have required complex intelligence to start and maintain transport. Basic testing has proven that its energy readings, while not precisely contiguous with the Speed Force, show that it has been in contact with extradimensional phenomena. A non-sentient life would not have been able to pilot it successfully enough to crash it—much less to avoid the farmhouse in its path. The result is that we have an extremely wounded entity with no shared form of communication. There have been worrying observations by their medical team, however.”
Click.
This slide is blank.
“We are now pursuing the possibility that the entity has been attacked or otherwise held captive by human organizations here on Earth. There are persistent triggers of aggression brought on by medical settings, adults, and more specifically, any present medical personnel and equipment.”
Batman pauses.
“Their medical team has informed me that their persistent fear has made treatment…difficult.”
There’s a snort from somewhere in the room.
“If you discover any evidence of possible extraterrestrial captivity or torture or experimentation among your usual cast of rogues, please forward everything you are able to base for further investigation. In this time period where the Lanterns are unavailable to return to Earth, Martian Manhunter has been notified of the need of his presence on the base, and will hopefully help settle this matter. In the meantime, as a reminder: do not enter Medical Wing C, do not engage with the entity in any way. Simply make your presence known, and they will flee.
“Now. Onto our agenda. First article: whoever has been taking the toilet paper from the supply closet, stop it. The league is not here to fund your lifestyle habit of two-ply toilet paper.”
*
There’s more food available more often.
It just appears at the foot of his bed. Like magic. Or, like…like a really, really fast human child.
Some of the packaged foods Danny can’t eat without swallowing them whole, wrapper and all. They’re just too fiddly to get with his claws—the solution is to just swallow it and let the whole thing dissolve in whatever weird ecto-acid is churning in his stomach at the moment.
The rest is fresh from the bakery—or, well the base, anyway, however this moon base gets their fresh foods. Muffins and croissants and sausage rolls and other things he would expect to see on a coffee tray or something.
…Danny prods his stomach.
He’s been too sore to notice, but this half-state of being a somewhat-physical half-ghost is super, super weird. He can eat, but it’s not processed like food is in his living body. Everything he can digest just gets incorporated. Everything he can’t just gets…
He looks down at the slowly growing puddle in his bed.
…Maybe ‘spit out’ is too generous a phrase. Expelled? Excreted?
Ew. Okay that thought is kind of gross and he doesn’t want to think about that while he can’t move away maybe.
He knows, instinctually, that he’s wounded, but this half-and-half state stops him from feeling the specifics. Knowing how, exactly, he’s hurt. Experiencing the majority of the pain and distress.
He curls up on his bed.
Danny hates it here. Not because it’s bad (it is) but because he wants to be home. He selfishly, desperately wants to be home. He wants his rocket sheets. He wants his room with its glow in the dark stars.
…He wants his dad to heat up soup and sit with him, like when he was little and had nightmares. He wants Jazz to sit on the edge of his bed and read to him.
Danny wants Mom.
…There is some other company here, though.
Sometimes, if Danny is mostly sated and kind of sleepy, the quick human buzzes in with a few of its age-mates. The two don’t get as close as the buzzing human can, because Danny can at least read the Excited!! or Nervous!! or Booored! energy on the human, which makes him more comfortable with letting it in close. Its friends seem to respect his space, though. They don’t go past his curtain, even if it’s open. They talk, but they don’t yell.
Danny thinks he’s getting the soft little bones back in one of his ears, but he can’t fully tell. He can hear that they’re chattering and he can hear which sounds they’re making, but he can’t understand any of them.
Auuuuughhhhh. He pushes the pillow more underneath himself. Does he have brain damage?? Is he…is he missing pieces of his brain??
There won’t be a concrete way to tell until he solidifies again. Gross. He doesn’t want to do that yet.
Or soon.
…Or at all, maybe.
Mom was so mad at him. Maybe he’ll be safe and he can come home if she…if he can’t be touched…?
…No. He remembers. Mom makes things for ghosts.
??Concern?Con??cern?
Danny looks up. Oh. He made the human vibrate all nervously. Danny’s fine. Well—he’s not fine but he’s not hurting more than usual or hungry.
The human is careful not to touch him when he doesn’t want to be touched, but Danny’s feeling generous. When the human puts its hands on the bed, Danny willingly brushes his knuckles up against it.
No claws. A peace offering.
The human goes suuuuper still.
…Uh. Did he break it?
And then it zoooooooms away faster than Danny can comprehend (he jolts) and sprints back with a whole lot of stuff in its hands, and a few things thumpthumpthump ono his bed. And.
Well. None of it smells like food? When he bites it, it doesn’t taste like food either. In fact the texture is…
Danny frowns. Turns over the object so he can see it better. (It doesn’t help.) Is that plastic?
Wait. Danny twists it in half. His wrists ache but the pieces rotate.
…It’s a rubric’s cube.
…Huh.
There are other puzzles too—things that taste like plastic and one that tastes like wood, which he might have dented with his teeth by accident. Whoops. Danny puts that one farthest away, in the hopes that he doesn’t accidentally damage it a second time.
…Huh. That’s. That’s nice.
Danny surprises himself and the surprised!surprised! human with a purr.
It’s not a lot. Not even monetarily is this little offering a lot.
But it’s more than Danny’s had in a long time.
#Bart: *huge eyes* WE ARE FRIENDS NOW HERE ARE MY FRIEND GIFTS!!!#Kon + Tim: um. I think they're just tolerating you dude#Bart: NO THIS IS A SIGN OF TRUST WE ARE BESTIES NOW I'M GOING TO BE SUCH A GOOD FRIEND!!!#Tim: ...#Kon: *shrugs* glad to hear it#this conversation is literally indistinguishable from Bart finding a stray cat#like the plot would be The Same#Health and hybrids#danny phantom#dp x dc#dpxdc#dcxdp#why not#dcu#dcu crossover#faer fic#tw body horror#tw gore#tw medical#cryptid!au#spooky lad
351 notes
·
View notes
Text
Fig's line "I don't think I'm an artist, I think I'm just a good friend" has not left my head at all. Just...
You're Fig Faeth and your horns came in over the summer and you pick up the bard class as a form of adolescent rock 'n' roll rebellion, and it works! It's exactly the outlet you need! You give a guy you just met drumsticks and you start a band and it's good enough that within a year and a half you're touring. You are, in every sense, good at being a bard.
And then, finally, your junior year, you start to take it seriously. Your art goes from an outlet and a form of rebellion to a practice. A discipline. (Can rebellion exist within a discipline?) Your classmates know what they want to do with their work. They all have a thesis statement. And yeah, there's cohesion in the music you make, but you've never had to think about why you make it. You've never sat down and dissected what it is about bass that speaks to you. You've never poured over your lyrics to pick at any deeper meaning. Why should you? You don't play music for a grand design, you do it to... huh, why do you do it?
(Your art is the one form of self-expression that feels as safe as Disguise Self does, because even if you're pouring your heart onto the page and then screaming it in front of thousands of people, it's not like you're really making yourself known. You can sing I'm lonely, I'm scared, I'm furious, and your fans will sing it right back, and there will still be the distance between performer and audience to keep your heart safe.)
Now you're being asked to look inward to explain the artistic choices you're making, and you can't help but recoil at that, because you'd rather do anything than look inward. Meanwhile, your classmates have no problem with it, so you start to wonder if you're a real artist at all. Can your art be authentic if it only exists to bolster a thesis statement? Has your art been unauthentic this whole time because you've never really thought about a thesis statement before? Is that what makes it art, and not just the next track on somebody's teen angst playlist?
You can't think about yourself— acknowledging your own existence makes you want to puke. So if your music is an extension of yourself, (and it is, even if it's just because the spotlight reveals only what you want it to,) you can't think about your music. You can't. You have to. Your grade depends on it.
You're Fig Faeth, and you keep multiclassing because you'd rather be a good friend than a great artist. If introspection is what great art demands, then fuck it. You must not be a bard at all.
#Dimension 20#fig faeth#fhjy#Idle Chatter#my last two years of college were when I started to get more and more nauseous about my own art#because I wasn't being taught how to make the art I wanted to make#the whole curriculum's focus was on gallery art#which infuriated me! I wanted to make art that didn't have to involve twelve layers of meaning and metaphor to be considered good!!#so I drove myself into the ground time and again trying to make (miserable) work that I thought would fit the criteria of a Real Artist#anyway it's been 4 years and I'm just now picking at why I don't enjoy creating anymore so Fig's whole arc has hit home in a major way#ALSO. AAAAALSO. THE ADHD STRUGGLE WE SEE WITH BOTH FIG AND KRISTEN. LOVING SOMETHING BUT STILL STRUGGLING WITH FOLLOW THROUGH#BEING TOLD YOU'RE NOT DOING ENOUGH WHEN IT'S SO FUCKING HARD JUST TO GET WHERE EVERYONE ELSE IS AND NOT UNDERSTANDING WHY IT'S HARD FOR YOU#it was easy and now that the rubber's hit the road it's hard for you but not for others so it must be YOU that's the problem#you must be lazy or stupid or just not suited to this after all even though it's part of a pattern that has been happening all your life#if you were good enough or cared enough then surely the discipline would come easily to you! the way it comes easily to all your classmates#SCREAMS I gotta stop before I write a second essay in the tags. I'm so normal you can trust me to be normal about D&D characters
71 notes
·
View notes
Text
things that are hard to find: writing advice that isn't condescending.
#ambie.txt#I've been really thinking about this story in my head and wondering what caused me to get burned out from writing#and realising it's all the formal bits. planning an outline organising things into a timeline. I'm more of an impulse writer#and having to think about all those dry and formal things makes me quit before I even start#this is my autism but I hate having to stop and figure out all this before I write because that way I won't write at all#ever since I started free writing I discovered that I still love writing. I love it so much#but I hate doing all of the other things because they are not my special interest and they keep me from pursuing my special interest#it's just very hard to find writing advice that isn't condescending in this aspect#people stressing out you need an outline first are very common unfortunately#I'm more of a vibes no plot person and like to just discribe the vibes in vivid detail#before worrying about the plot too much. and yes in a story there had to be a plot#but if worrying about the plot and connecting all the scenes is killing my creativity#I want to just go from details first and bigger picture later#again. autism. also writing dialogue is the worst. idk how people talk. I don't understand body language etc etc#I have written some pretty good dialogue before so I know I'm capable. it just really sucks when I have to scrutinise everything#and think “would people say this? do they talk like that?” its draining#so I was thinking about writing dialogue separately. maybe write it as a script for a play#which is essentially just dialogue. and then match it with the scene descriptions I have written#like. I know I'm a good writer. I very good one. but the way I have been writing so far has burned me out#because it was too much focused on all the boring bits and not enough on the freedom and joy of just writing#which is why I love free writing. it allows me to focus on a few tiny details and then develop them into something bigger#also I hate writing on a computer so I got some notebooks so I can write on paper instead#it's where I'm most creative I've found#anyway this all just to say that I think following writing advice is not for me at least not now when I'm rediscovering my passion#and that I need to trust myself more and do things that make me happy#so um yeah. best writing advice is to just write and worry about it later
20 notes
·
View notes
Note
hi! i always love your MDZS/CQL takes; can i ask what are the questions you think CQL is asking, as compared to MDZS?
I haven't actually revisited either canon in ages, which is making me nervous. what questions the novel is interested in can be pretty contentious all on its own! @mikkeneko has an excellent answer in the notes here which I reccomend to everyone. My own thoughts are honestly pretty scattered- I keep on deleting things and going hm, that's not quite right.
So, for the obvious-to-me example, people reasonably zero in on the creation of innocent doctors/radish farmers who Wen Ruohan is holding hostage. In CQL it's easy to infer that Wen Qing and Wen Ning are maybe the only cultivators and almost certainly the only combatants among the Wen remnants, and their status is much more ambiguous in the novel, which I personally think is asking, essentially, "and so what? were they wrong to run, when they had a chance? Do they deserve what Jin Guangshan will do to them if they go back? Aren't they just people, actually?" Whereas the question that CQL is asking is more to the effect of "What does Wen Qing owe these people, when she is their only defence? What is she entitled to do to save them, at other people's expense? If she fucks up that moral calculus, what then? Does it matter if she's personally fond of some of the outsiders who are going to get hurt? If one of them saved her brother? Later, this question will flip to what Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng, and the parallel to Jiang Cheng's situation in particular is, I think, genuinely pretty fun. You're giving up the Wen as soldiers who've laid down their arms in exchange for Wen Qing also grappling with leadership and the question of how many horrors she can stand to look the other way on to protect her own people. one reason I keep deleting so much is that a lot cql's changes were motivated at least in part by censorship, which I think we mostly share a general and justified distaste for! but I also think that within the bounds of that censorship the creative team put a lot of work into actually doing something interesting with those changes. Or, for another example- nieyao! There's a much greater emphasis on the nmj-jgy relationship, it's unambiguously very close and they are clearly extremely important to one another, and I think that's because the cql team has a lot to say about love, trust, power, and the ways those things interact, and that reflects back on all of the other relationships in play, including Wangxian. Almost every time, when CQL chooses change a relationship they make the characters in question closer- that's true for Jiang Cheng and Lan Wangji, for Wen Qing and the Yunmeng contingent, for Zixuan and Mianmian, and Huaisang and Meng Yao. It's even true for Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian, who have a close and trusting relationship in first life! CQL puts a much greater emphasis on "all right, so you care, what next?" How do you choose someone and then choose to be good to them? What if there's a massive power disparity between you? What if you seriously disagree about your priorities and morals? How do you trust someone who's betrayed you? When is it a stupid choice to trust at all? How do you have faith that you know someone well enough for that trust to be meaningful?
for legal reasons i would like to specify that it's not that mdzs isn't interested in these problems. i do remember wangxian's literal trust fall. cql is asking these questions all the time about everyone. also for legal purposes i'm not suggesting that cql lwj and jc love each other. but! they establish a three month wartime partnership looking for wwx and then jc immediately drops him on wwx's say-so despite apparently having a positive enough opinion of him to tell wwx he thinks they should make up twice. lan wangji will later tell wwx he thinks he should loop jc in on the second flautist! these are people trying to navigate some kind of relationship/shared interest/community, as opposed to a hateful void. cql wants to say hey, how do you go about this? while I'm here and rambling cql also puts a lot of emphasis on wwx's connection to yunmeng and changes things up so instead of feeling alienated right before he leaves our last glimpse of him there is happily picking lotuses and playing with a kid! in both stories the narrative is asking who do you protect? who do you leave behind? can you ever get it back? but the angles are very different.
#why are there so many people who simultaneously argue that cql dumbs down mdzs and also that mdzs is the slow reveal of how wwx is a#perfect angel who has never done anything wrong in his life#being let down by everyone around him#surely you have to pick an option#but lan wangji and wei wuxian being close friends in the first life really does change everything#i have seen people (reasonably) be annoyed with this as an adaptation choice#but! i like this change a lot and i think they do interesting things with it#There's still a lot of emphasis on what makes them so particularly perfect for each other but imo moving Lan Wangji into the category of#people wwx loved in the first life#shifts the focus from#when will they get together#to#What it would take and what would they have to do for these people to have to do to have a successful partnership?#If loving someone is the first step what comes next? Who do I want to be to the people around me?#i love the focus on wwx's trust issues as trust issues! problems that he's had with lwj specifically before!#and the solution isn't just oh well lwj is perfectly trustworthy#though that's obviously part of it#wwx has to like. decide for himself to do some things differently this time around in order to reap the rewards of being really in it with#someone. and lwj does too! it's a journey they're on together#i have simply rambled in all directions i'm sorry anon
109 notes
·
View notes
Text
notebookcast.com was an experience and a half
#bandit's doodles#grian#mumbo jumbo#waffle duo#the whole time I was drawing this I was thinking about having a little grian plush#And now I want to learn to sew#i used to know but I stopped doing it a minute ago#So uh#look out for waffle duo plushes???#idk man I might not follow through but also they would be so cute :(#anyways the website was a pain#i almost just gave up on it to go find another one#But I'm dedicated#I pushed through#You can't zoom in#Theres like 8 colors#It was laggy but that was probably just me in hindsight#thats why the doodles look rushed#i wanted to get outta there ASAP#also the eraser was huge#I couldn't figure out how to change it's size like I could the pencil#Another 4.5/10#Only bangers round these parts#trust
23 notes
·
View notes
Text
i did think about richard siken saying there's no such thing as unrequited love, just unrequited desire for probably longer than i should've, but idk. feelings are complicated. 'unrequited' is complicated. i've never felt so consistently failed by language before...
#realizing in hindsight that we made some kind of crazy promises to each other in march/april that have been hard to follow through on#bc they're just hard. scary. involve a lot of vulnerability and trust and trusting in both chance and each other#i feel like i'm not old enough for it lmao. i was naive about the effort it would take to stay open about myself#much harder than staying open about him! because i find it easy to care about him#and i find it much harder to care about myself.#but i am finally understanding why the attitude you have towards yourself is so important when it comes to things like this...#because the thing that lies between you and the other person is made up of how you see them and how they see you and how you see yourselves#and what you see when you look out together. and any part of it being held back because it's full of guilt and shame and self hatred#just fucks it all up. puts pressure on everything else.#which is a terrible realization but yknow. infinitely valuable to know for the rest of my life. just terrible to contend with.#a tag
26 notes
·
View notes
Text
basically do you prefer to play solo or do you prefer to get the story run with the scions and then play with others or do you hate support/trust etc etc
this occurred to me when I was making the least favorite dungeons polls and people were mentioning other players as reasons they didn't like certain dungeons which is something I didn't consider for my own choices in later dungeons since I always run them as trusts unless I'm with a friend
#massively prefer support/trusts#always play them in support first time#mostly prefer to do it that way after but I'll often queue if I'm with a friend#they go slightly faster with people but the dps queue time tends to negate that#also I'll usually only heal/tank in trusts#I not only like playing with the characters but I like the extra control I get on the pace#and the extra gear I get#ffxiv#ffxiv polls#final fantasy xiv#ffxivmp#mp#I just really like playing with my blorbo buddies even urianger who is guilty of murdering me on multiple occasions#what's really funny is the first time I did ktisis with real people (under duress) I was so confused#because I was so used to how the elpis squad did the mechanics#I was like you are standing in the wrong place for this mechanic!!!! I don't care if it's safe! it's wrong!#why aren't you using hermes hit box to judge the safe spots for the across the arena blasts#why is no one interrupting hermes true bravery?????#also discovered I had no clue how the snake head mechanic worked and had just been following venat around the whole time oops#venat would never betray me
282 notes
·
View notes
Text
#eminem#slim shady#fanart#eminem fanart#Detroit: become android#智械危机#这个年代还在炒底特律大变活人的冷饭这样真的好吗#My housekeeping Android is a dumb bitch whos only capable of use the microwave#Then I found out he was just a piece of junk been made from sex doll that had gone off the market#So I decided to treat him the proper way like fuck him everynight,you got a hole down there why should I waste it#I think things are going well,I maybe in love with him already……#oh yeah,he's my wife now#however since he really doesn't know how to do housework,I ordered a new model of Domestic Android,you know,cause I really can use it#I didn't know this decision would become a serious problem#Damn he thinks I'm replacing him#he's really having some trust issues,given his past work experience I got him#But that's not the excuse for him stabbing me like ten times
33 notes
·
View notes
Text
me when my disability disables me:
#heds#ehlers danlos syndrome#hypermobile eds#hypermobile ehlers danlos#today i'm feeling kvetchy about not being able to run (or even walk fast sometimes) because inflating my lungs takes so much effort#and the pulmonologist said i have vocal cord dysfunction which doesn't fit my symptoms and then didn't fix the insurance thing that#he said he'd fix#so i'm kinda just stuck until i can get another pulmonologist which is hard cuz there aren't a lot in my area and wait times are eons#and even then most don't know jack about hEDS bc why would they it's a rare disease but then they aren't helpful bc they don't know jack#about the rare disease that is probably the root cause of my symptoms#and being dizzy when i stand up or tilt my head back too far and not tolerating heat the way i used to also sucks thanks POTS#at least i don't faint all the time?#and i never can tell if i'm hungry or not because acid reflux makes me feel like i'm starving when i just ate and other times like i'm full#when i haven't eaten. so i can't trust my hunger cues which is really irritating. and Tums don't help my acid#i can't just keep doing prilosec courses. i need to see a GI doc maybe they could do something but there's no time#and none of this is gonna kill me and i can still function it's just so tiring always having something hurting or gross or hungry#espec. when to other people i look like i should be able to do it all just fine so they're shocked when a flight of stairs winds me#i'm young and should-be healthy and this is unfair and i hate it and i wish my body worked right but i have it better than plenty of ppl#so really i can't complain
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
I have a new favorite character but I can't introduce him to anyone without like a 10 page paper on why he's NOT a terrible person and/or even though he is by normal metrics a terrible person, I love him and believe in his capacity for growth anyway
so you can imagine the state I'm in
#joking. I could explain why I enjoy him in like. a paragraph. but it would take trust to believe I'm interpreting the story right alskdjflkd#without my Reference Images and Explanations Of Events it's just like. you honor you don't have the facts. what are the facts? I love him#like I have Proof but#I can't just say ''yeah this guy. I like him''#because then it's like. you like...... HIM.......??#and I have to be like yeahhhh imsorry#he did do all that <3 he is like that <3 let me explain#GHASLDKFJAUGH.#he's exhausting to love <3
11 notes
·
View notes