lightningidle

[lightningidle]

I was like 11-12 years old when I figured out at a boring-ass church activity that you could put rocks into little plastic spoons and then pelt people who annoyed me with them. I did this for the rest of the activity, and at Sunday dinner the next night was bragging about my victory (cornering the mean kid who picked on my youngest brother and pelting him with rocks). One of my cousins was like “no way, that sounds SO fun! Let’s do that RIGHT NOW!” So we grabbed spoons and went and got pebbles from the back yard and launched them at each other.

The problem was my grandma sold her soul for the world’s most resilient plastic spoons so we could launch those fuckers HARD. I gave out welts like candy on Halloween, and I got them back in kind.

So we resorted to taking cover and giggling until we got whacked, then yelping, then returning fire.

My cousin hid in my grandpa’s little fishing boat. It was a good boat, but simple and honestly underused. We didn’t know the little windows on it, meant to keep the wind out of my grandpa’s face while he drove, were cracking. However, they were definitely cracking. Eventually it became obvious and we realized we had been being dumb.

This was NOT the first time in my life I’d been dumb roughhousing and broken something, and I had developed a reputation in my family as being “suicidally honest” so I was the one to deliver the bad news. My grandpa let out a pretty good chuckle and said it was OK, tousled my hair, and asked my grandma to bring me cake. I am not kidding. I learned later he hated his boat and only bought it for his kids’ sakes, since he thought everyone needed to know how to fish. At the time though I was just bewildered and pleased at my good fortune. FINALLY, at long last, being honest and telling the truth about breaking something expensive was getting me cake. I knew if I kept trying it would eventually serve me, and now so had CAKE. I was pleased as could be.

My dad, on the other hand, was livid. He LOVED that boat. He spent several weeks each summer recovering from breaking ribs in that boat every year for about 7 years prior to this incident. He had great memories and memories that boat. So he told my Grandma NO cake for me AND that I’d be coming by this weekend to fix stuff around the house and pay for the broken window with my babysitting/lawn mowing money.

Obviously I was devastated, but that felt more in-line with the way things normally went when I broke something expensive so I just figured it was OK. My grandpa gave my grandma a look and sadly said “Ok, have her here on Saturday to help me with some yard work.”

That Saturday my dad woke me up at 6:00 sharp and drove me, sleepy and bewildered, to my grandpa’s house. He was mumbling under his breath the whole time but he thought he was teaching me consequences for my actions so he was ultimately OK with it.

We get to my grandpa’s house at 6:15. My grandpa is outside with a ladder hanging Christmas lights. The lawn is freshly mowed, the trees and garden are weeded and well-tended to, the carnations in the front yard look immaculate, and my grandpa has this giddy mischievous look on his face. He tells me he was so excited that I was coming over that he couldn’t sleep, so he did all the yard work himself. He asked me to help him put up Christmas lights and decorate the Christmas tree, which I did, then said that because I was such a good helper I could have some pancakes for breakfast. I was sent home with the slice of cake I had been denied the week before, wrapped to keep it as fresh as possible.

The whole way home my dad looked a little miffed, but told me that he was glad I had been honest and was proud of me for helping grandpa. I know he wanted me to Learn a Lesson™️the cowboy way, like he had as a kid, but didn’t have much room to complain since I’d still been Put To Work.

I think that was a lesson for both of us, although I’m not totally sure what it was supposed to show me. I think it was my grandpa’s way of showing my dad that discipline without tenderness doesn’t count as much. He died last year and I miss him terribly, as does my dad. I hope that my story of victory, drama, punishment, and ultimately a secret second victory is meaningful to someone else out there, but if not it still means a lot to me ❤️

[lightningidle]

Shadowsan Sandiego, you and your several adopted kids you didn't want will always be famous to me

DO NOT EDIT OR REPOST

[lightningidle]

[lightningidle]

they won't tell you this in therapy but sometimes the best way to stop catastrophizing/anxiety is to interrupt your spiraling with "girl what the hell are you talking about"

[lightningidle]

[lightningidle]

marcille is ready for winter :D

[lightningidle]

"Hey, what do you want for Ch-"

I don't know, as soon as you started the question, I somehow momentarily was struck with such a lack of desire for any material goods that there's now a school of thought in Buddhism who reveres my ADHD riddled brain as a potential speedrun to enlightment.

[lightningidle]

every day fabian seacaster wakes up

[lightningidle]

I'mma catch heat for this but fuck it we ball

If your trauma makes it so that you literally cannot treat men/masculine people with the same decency and respect as you would treat anyone else then THAT IS A YOU PROBLEM THAT YOU HAVE TO WORK THROUGH. Men/masculine people as a group are not responsible for your trauma, and if you can't exist around half of the entire global population, then that's not healthy nor is it the responsibility of that group to fix.

Men/masculine people are fucking PEOPLE.

PS: This applies to transfems who boymode/don't want to or can't pass/are gnc as well, if the only transfems you can be "normal" about are the ones who pass or are gender conforming/feminine, you're not normal about transfems.

[lightningidle]

One thing I appreciate about my cat son is that if he, who knows how it feels to be trapped in a room, so much as begins to suspect that I, his father, am trapped in a room, then he will immediately do everything in his meager power to rescue me

[lightningidle]

What's the process if you're a superhero and you come out as trans

Do you tell your villains?

Do you keep it a secret so no one can connect Spider-Man with your secret identity for a while? Or do you pop a pronouns pin on your costume and the next time you web up Doctor Octopus and he goes "I'LL GET YOU NEXT TIME SPIDER-MAN" you go "Spider-Girl actually! I've been figuring out some shit"

[lightningidle]

i love how brennan so carefully described evan and sams relationship, making sure it was as open ended as possible, only describing it as romantic after danielle had first established that, so that she was just as involved in the life the two of them live in the future. it shows just how much he treasures her opinion irl, making sure her character gets agency whilst still being deeply cared about in world, that they get to make these decisions together

but also it meant a lot to me as someone whose aro ace, that it didn't Have to be a romantic relationship, that you can have a deep and meaningful relationship with someone without it being tied to societal norms. just because something gets perceived as romantic by others, doesn't inherently mean it Must be and that's final.

and danielle defining it as romantic doesn't throw that away. she chose the option she felt described them best. but the fact there were options in the first place, that these characters didn't Have to end up in a romantic relationship, that deep platonic relationships have been so woven into mismag between the pilot program.

it just means a lot to be seen

(for the record i personally i see sam and evan as being in a qpr (with each other and the other pilots in various spider webs and helpful diagrams), but thats the joy of headcannons. happy for evsam truthers, y'all enjoy and have a field day, and ill sit back here with my thoughts and watch c: )

[lightningidle]

Porygon

[lightningidle]

[lightningidle]

This is what info dumping oc lore feels like

[lightningidle]

Here, take these