#anyways the website was a pain
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notebookcast.com was an experience and a half
#bandit's doodles#grian#mumbo jumbo#waffle duo#the whole time I was drawing this I was thinking about having a little grian plush#And now I want to learn to sew#i used to know but I stopped doing it a minute ago#So uh#look out for waffle duo plushes???#idk man I might not follow through but also they would be so cute :(#anyways the website was a pain#i almost just gave up on it to go find another one#But I'm dedicated#I pushed through#You can't zoom in#Theres like 8 colors#It was laggy but that was probably just me in hindsight#thats why the doodles look rushed#i wanted to get outta there ASAP#also the eraser was huge#I couldn't figure out how to change it's size like I could the pencil#Another 4.5/10#Only bangers round these parts#trust
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SPARKLE ON ✨✨✨
#project sekai#pjsk#prsk#emu otori#gif#blinking#proseka#sparkle on!#i was gonna queue this for wednesday but thats so painful for me so happy wonderhoy its wednesday sunday#kirakira dokidoki mochimochi puyopuyo wakuwaku wasshoi#i went through hell and high water and like 8 online free glutterbtext gif generator websites to find the exact font#thank you glittertextonline dot com#ive thought about drawing a lot of jerma bullshit as wxs. plesde be thankful that im focusing on artfight#the nene985 dollhouse is still on my mind. i wanna draw her leaping out of that window really bad#idk what to type here since this is like a week i advance and i wont remember scheduling this in about 20 minutes. ummmm#OHHH I HOPE MY GUITAR IS FIXED BY THE TIME THIS POSTS I FOUND A USED AMP FOR MY BIRTHDAY ^___^ I WANNA PLAY YIPPEEEEE#anyways.... be who you are. shalalalaaaa ^_^
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happy ace week
#if youve seen this before i was in reblog jail when i tried to post it the first time round so idk if it will post that one too or…#functional website#my post#grian#pearlescentmoon#jimmy solidarity#solidaritygaming#skyblings#codduo#<- i think this is their duo name. shoutout to empires season 1 for being cool and awesome#do jimmy and pearl have a duo name?? they should they are cool and awesome too#anyway i woke up this morning with a vision and within half an hour i made this. and then i was in reblog jail for 5 hours#it was pain agony suffering and misery in the planet earth#ace week#this post has everything. siblings truthing. excellent headcanons if i do say so myself. funny meme. temporal relevence
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I should make a tag 4 website stuff. Anyway working on things, I'm making a big tile bg for Tiger crawl home's page and I fixed the scroll so now it's just a fixed width with the only scroll being the content box <3 Still not sure how I'll organize my writing for this year bc the vibe I'm going for is kind of Higurashi style non linear character perspectives, but ect ect we'll figure it out
#website#ik there's live html editors but atm i just take screenshots and put them into clip so i can do mockups easy#especially since backgrounds are the thing im pickiest about so far#anyway it'll be a slight pain to edit the rest of the pages to scroll correctly. this is the only one that does but yk yk yk
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head in my hands im never going to get a fucking job with benefits and opportunity for growth and a steady non-tipped salary im not employable and i dont have enough friends to get a job through connections and theres something deeply wrong with me augghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
#asking chatgpt to write a bio for me on the Service Jobs In My Area website because im too burnt out to even try to do it myself#personal#maybe my standards are too high maybe i should just resign myself to the service industry life#same back pain quota anyway i guess
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Something about troll reproduction is that everyone alive in the empire had to have gotten some fuck at some point. And that makes me look at The Behemoth and wonder if the other participant has to be alive by the end of the ordeal because Wow Look At It. I'm so morbidly curious about the type of troll that it would decide was good enough and if they walked away with something broken or not.
y'all the fact that as I got this ask I was lying here in bed musing to myself about how. There is a universe where the scene of Gamzee meeting the Behemoth that I'm writing ends up with them fucking nasty in some kind of very spur of the moment hookup largely unrelated to quadrants haha. Because Gamzee's down to clown with people who are way too big and not used to being gentle. And actually the fact that he's going to get real bruised at best and injured at worst is a perk. I don't,,, think the scene will go that direction, but it's a diverting thought lmao. Anyway, perfect timing anon thank you.
....I do wonder. If you're enough of a deadly motherfucker that you can and would rather kill a drone than bother with finding some kind of Beauty And The Beast romance situation. Would the drones smell/see/sense a troll covered in the blood and death/distress hormones of a drone and go "well, this one passes muster" and keep moving. Could you look at this situation and just go "well obviously I'll kill my way out with brute force." What then.
#price of forgiveness#ask time!#Gianna Yozuna#is some part of my brain like BIG DANGEROUS BRUTE YIPPEE? yes because i am a monster-fucker (ace) (theoretical)#I am also like Wow Look At It but I have my chin in my hands#I mean I guess I can't read your tone over the internet and this is the monster-fucker website maybe I am not the only one who's like#oh shit a huge deadly beaft 👀💦 oh dear! oh dear oh dear.#anyway yeah like logistically i'm sure drone season is a real pain in the ass for Yozuna haha
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Currently in my banging my head against the wall phase. Hope you all are well 🥰
#Doc told me to schedule another MRI on Tuesday. They said they sent the order over on Tuesday.#I call on Tuesday to schedule the appointment. They don't have the referral yet#I called yesterday to try and schedule. They STILL don't have the referral#I message my doc and make sure they actually sent it over to the right place. (They did.)#They say they'll fax it over again! Great!#I call AGAIN today. They STILL don't have the referral#Bro I just need to schedule this fucking MRI so I can find out what's WRONG with me#The girl on the phone was like 'Oh yeah we're real busy we get orders all the time it must not have hit the system yet'#BRO IT'S BEEN THREE DAYS. HOW HAS NOBODY SEEN IT. TEARING my hair out#I went to their website to try and schedule online. Guess what? THEIR GODDAMN SCHEDULING ASSISTANT IS DOWN FOR MAITENANCE#SCREAMS#Anyway yes so in my banging my head against the wall phase. I'm so tired#And still in pain! To nobody's surprise!!#They can't fix what's wrong with me if I can't even get in to get an MRI. Hello. PLEASE#This isn't really smth that can wait a couple weeks#I should've been in to see them like YESTERDAY.#My pain is so bad I had to stay at home today. And I go and ice my back every hour or so#Bc I can't sit down for more than 45 minutes without wanting to kill myself ;))))#Shima speaks#I'M SORRY I'm just so. I've been over this for months. And now that I'm THIS close to getting answers#I can't. Seem to get these people to schedule an appointment for me#Grinds my teeth
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@wolfstrong I have now added "I Want the One I Can't Have" to the list of songs I think Moz wrote about Johnny
I also added "My Love Life" because somehow I missed it, too.
Lastly I made a Youtube playlist of all the songs on the list, because Spotify is missing too many of them for me to bother with making it there (lots of the rarer Moz b-sides and demos aren't on Spotify - as well as some bigger songs like "Pregnant For the Last Time." It's weird).
Here's a link to the original post for those who missed it. It's been updated a lot and has basically become a marrissey master post at this point lol
#god its so difficult to edit it now#it took me like two hours to add 2 songs to it#i want to like#add resource links to my notes and stuff but i'm just too tired to do it aggg#hopefully at some point ill have the energy for it#cause i used passionsjustlikemine a lot and i want to make sure people know how good a website it is#it is so useful for an online resource#the mozzipedia is more thorough but with it being a physical book it's harder to point people to you know#anyways#time for my nerve pain medication and a long nap#After I post two more marrissey songs
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begging the pinterest girlies to stop using pinterest as their diary girl idc if you got a cut or if your teacher sucks i just want to see some cute art and aesthetic stuff GET OUT
#and you can just tell that like. these are kids. these are literal kids telling the whole internet about their life using whisper memes-#and it's always the fucking pjsk/genshin/etc background. girl idc if pinterest is 12+ this is a website/app that anyone can download-#WHY ARE YOU TELLING EVERYONE ON THIS APP YOUR WHOLE LIFE STORY.#bro and the fact that they are also going “well i don't have a therapist so deal with it”#what does not having a therapist has to do with you describing your period in detail while using a bandori background.#anyway hi im alive. kinda#sjjdkdkd it's fine i'm okay just way too focused on gaming rn. also chronic pain 😔#[ 💚 𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐚 𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐤𝐬 ]
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It's kinda funny because w/ my Zeus kid OC (who I've been thinking about renaming as Araceli, 'cause it means altar of the sky, apparently, which I like 'cause sky-themed-ish but also like. A little bit I wanted something that meant cloud the way Coral's name means... Coral) the implication is that she takes after her father to an almost mirroring degree because I developed her and my other PJO OCs (who also all got retconned into an OG work) at the same time I was playing around with my ideas on the Big Six, and the gist at the time was supposed to show how the Big Six could've turned out if they weren't so weird.
So the dynamics of the friendship was supposed to be very similar to the dynamics of Big Six's relationship to each other (e.g. Mary having a major crush on Hera's "representative" but also being attracted to literally every other person that walked by, Nico being the soberminded big brother figure, etc). It's also one of the reasons Mary would get angry whenever someone would compare to her dad, because similarly I think Zeus would get angry if someone compared him to his dad.
And then eventually as I got older and the daydream moved around with whatever obsession I had at the time, the characters and general storyline began to change away from that in some ways but core features sort of stayed and so I ended up with a version of Zeus that ignores his daughter's pleas for help because he loves her but her pain hurts him because he can't do anything about it and it's his fault she's suffering.
She got this intensity from him, it's ingrained into the way it's ingrained in him. But he was able to rebuild the world according to his own needs and wants and beliefs. And she can't really do that. So he doesn't have any advice he can give her when she's on her knees begging for help with all the noise and pain in her head. He doesn't know what to do! It's like he can just go and rip it out of her.
But she's suffering because she's different and she's weird and she knows it and she knows it's his fault which is why she's asking but he just doesn't know and he can't handle watching her suffering and listening to her cry when there is no helpful answer to give her because "I don't know" isn't going to fix it.
He's supposed to fix things, he's supposed to have the answers. He's king of the world, by damn! He's a problem solver. He supposed to have a solution, and a million backup solutions. But he doesn't! There's nothing he can do to make the noise stop because truth be told, the noise never really stopped for him! It just got easier and quieter. So he turns away from her because he loves her and he's failing her and he can't handle that.
But also in the same breath, I think he recognizes similar aspects of himself in Jason, who isn't even asking for help, and fucking despises him for it, lol.
✨ Girl Dad ✨
#could be a jupiter vs zeus thing too#zeus is more in touch with his emotions so he's able to love his kids and empathize with their pain#but jupiter eschews emotion to focus fully on logic and rationale and winds up being disgusted by anything that shows he's flawed#like i think zeus definitely hates any implication that he's flawed#but in this case it's more like while his inability to stop his daughter's suffering makes him feel flawed#his love for his daughter takes precedence so he doesn't hate her for it. he just hates himself for not being able to fix it.#but jupiter doesn't really have that affection for jason because maybe he just lacks affection im general#so jason showcasing any behaviour that may indicate an inherent flaw in jupiter is seen as despicable#and so jason and any internal/external pain he may experience because of this flaw isn't viewed favourably#it could also be that jason is more willing to call him on his shit where mary/araceli was just like bitch i hate you so much please kill m#like she definitely doesn't agree with all her dad's actions but she kind of gets where he's coming from with certain things#where i don't think jason is able to view that in other people either#like all three of them view things in a very black and white autistic sort of way#but jason lacks the cognitive empathy to understand why a person may feel or behave a certain way#i love when i go insane in the tags#thats fun#anyway#happy talks about his stories#happy talks pjo#zeus (pjo)#jason grace#i will come up with a tag for my zeus girl at some point#also for araceli the original character has always been seen as hispanic/latino which is why i wanted a name that made that obvious#so if anyone has any hispanic/latino sky-themed names they'd like to share lemme know because the baby name websites were very short
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We’re back with one called sumo.app!!
#bandit's doodles#grian#mumbo jumbo#waffle duo#I don’t know what’s up with all the throwbacks#first s8 now s7#stop me now or I’ll go all the way to build swap#I don’t know how I’d draw that but I’ll figure it out!#I just realized I used the word look far too many times didn’t I#anyways the website was pretty fun#I like it when they save colors you use#having to eyeball the colors is so painful#I couldn’t figure out how/if you could select drawings and move em#but that’s probably a skill issue on my part#and it wasn’t as much of a clone as the other ones I’ve done recently#so that’s a win in my book!#8/10#that may be too generous but I liked it!#(I just put this in the queue so I could see what it’ll look like why are the photos so small yo)
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i think if godrick casually rubbed my back or feet, i'd explode
#anyway#or if it was a really painful deep tissue back massage or japanese reflexology style foot therapy? 40 dead 500 injured#you know what word should be there instead of explode right#but you can't anymore on the family-friendly website
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society if character.ai was 100% ethical [insert a picture of a beautiful futuristic city here]
#blaire.txt#i want to write. an elaborate post about what i want to say but im going to be honest im brainfried right now#idk why i woke up not long ago but. they fucking scrambled my brain#anyways like what if i wanted funny oc chatbots but i didnt want them to be based off of stolen art and writing??#i wish there was. just an easy way or a way at all to make an ethical chatbot#because the only easy way to make silly oc chatbot is via c.ai or kajiwoto or another website like them and like . i dont think those are#ethically sourced. pain
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#absolutely do not reblog#wait I forgot I think we can turn hat off now#cool anyway#went down kind of a deep dive on this person#i just knew it had died#and it turns out it killed itself#and I haven't cried in months#but I'm crying in my bed right now thinking about it#been struggling a lot lately. for some obvious and some not obvious reasons#and every time I taste the pain that gets left behind#and I start thinking about what it actually means#I get knocked off my feet#I'm trying to breathe through it. I'm not upset about the panic attack/crying#I wish I could have fixed things for it#I wish I hadn't tried so hard to find out what happened#I'm not religious and I didnt know it and I don't know if it was but whatever memorial phrase is appropriate here#I hope its loved ones get a breath today#being eulogized on the internet is so weird.#having your name out there til the domain runs out#til the website goes down#anyway.#dl8r
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Completely almost forgot to apply for that internship I was interested in.... Applications close TODAY BTW. Like. It said "no later than May 1" and I am typing this at 12:01 am on May 1 lmao. I emailed it at like 11:59 on April 30 😭😭😭 Unfortunately the one I really wanted already closed, but the same company has dozens of internships with different departments, so I picked the easiest looking one lol. It's also the one where I would get to post on their Tumblr blog yippee!!! Fingers crossed 🤞
#how does posting on a work Tumblr blog even work lol#would they invite my account as an admin 😭#ig I would just say I don't have Tumblr and make a new account for that lol#also the internship is remote but it starts around the time I'm gonna be out of state for a week.... hm#they said the schedule is really flexible so I could mention that in my interview and see if they let me take that week off and make it up#and if they reject me then oh well#boss makes a dollar I make a dime that's why I blog on company time#<- I want this to be my workposting tag. but I will resist bc it's too long and would be a pain to type out every time I want to complain#workposting#goodnight my lovelies <3#ANYWAY the timing thing should be fine bc the external website where I found the listing said it's open until 6 am#but idk if that's just the default time or what#shrug. we shall see. at least it's technically no later than May 1 bc it's still May 1........#AND I SENT IT LIKE A MINUTE BEFORE MAY 1#whether or not the hiring manager receives it then is a different story
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And there's the official dub.
#teruyo talk#honestly now that i've had time to relax i have to say#as painful as this nano proved to be it really boosted my wips#like now i'm way more confident i'll finish both of my current multichapter rough drafts this year#(yup there are now two of them and they're essentially in the same genre too which makes things... fun)#anyway i still assume this'll be my last nano it just hasn't been the same to me since the website re-design#but wrapping up several chapters + fixing the chapter outline + having a minor revelation which blew my mind towards the end = good#now i need to remember how to write again ship week's next week omg
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