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#I just realized I used the word look far too many times didn’t I
banditblvd · 2 months
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We’re back with one called sumo.app!!
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omotelie · 18 days
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WHERE’S MY FUKING CAPO
#my post#funny#relatable#guitar#music#bjork#wait you can only have 30 tags the joke is much less funny if i don’t have a fucking wall of the stuff i guess i’ll just make this one reall#and 140 characters per tag this is stifling my creativity meh i was running out of popular tags anyway bjork’s not that popular of a tag tho#tbh i was running out of inspiration after like the 4 tag this joke was not meant to be at least not by my hand and i guess it wasn’t that f#unny either i cooled down real fast on that one you know what i’m pivoting this is no longer popular tags just my train of thought for as lo#ng as i feel like it the first few one might not even make sense when i’m done but who cares not me clearly it is quite annoying how i can’t#use commas tho make’s this harder to read than it needs to any way i lost my capo for like the third time my desk isn’t even that messy but#don’t know where else i would’ve put it it’s not lying on any of my instruments either i probably put it quote somewhere i would remember un#quote but clearly i didn’t i’m usually very good at remembering where i put things put the capo is the zone in between i use this often and#i use this every other year so i never remember where it is stored it is 1 am so i guess i’m going to bed soon anyway but still this is goin#g to annoy me until tomorrow i don’t even need it right i’ve had to remove so many tags the original joke barely makes sense anymore i’m kee#ping bjork tho you can pry her out of my cold dead hands not that i really listen to her music or know her i just like saying her name i’ts#got good mouth feel and it’s fun to spell i didn’t realize how long filling 30 tags would be what’s 140 times 30 let me look it up 4200 this#makes this post my biggest project by like 3000 words the only time i’ve written any meaningful lengths of texts was in college and i’m a dr#opout what 4200 characters not words silly little me makes a lot more sense now that i think about it i’m getting tired of writing so this m#ay end soon i would like to not go to bed at 4 am for a silly little post 2 people are going to read plus i am running out of ideas of thing#s to write i am very much not a writer writing scares me even writing lyrics for songs terrifies me i’ve only manage to write lyrics for one#without getting too self conscious and imploding but i’m better at writing songs with vocals i’ve never had anyone to write music with and w#ithout the ability to sing or write lyrics it’s been difficult the singing has been more or less remedied with synth v but the puter can’t w#rite lyrics for meso until i get a lyricist friend i will have to toughen up you can’t make art without making yourself known to those who c#onsume it but lyrics and poetry has always been 1 step too far for me tbh i’d rather spontaneously combust rather than let people know me i#do not look at my very numerous in stars and time posts and reblogs they are completely unrelated to this don’t think about it oh look behin#d you there’s a distraction oh you’ve missed it i have been writing this for half an hour and i am getting so sick of it i revealed informat#ion about the inner machinations of my mind i have not done this since last time i saw a therapist 5 years ago this is fucked up what a self#impose writing challenge can do to you luckily this is the last tag i’m doing lucky me well this was fun this is going to end suddenly so do
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alvojake · 4 months
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I'm Yours, You're Mine | P.SH
↳ this is an add-on part to this fic here! read this one first
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「paring」 : idol!bf!sunghoon x idol!fem!reader 「word count」 : 2.2k
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「synopsis」 : in the midst of your 'punishment,' you are brought to your limit, and for once in your life, you use the safe word. realizing that maybe he had gone just too far, sunghoon reels back and makes sure that you're okay.
「genre」 : smut, fluff, comfort?, idol!au
「warning」 : MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!!, cussing, overstimulation, unprotected sex, mentions of passing out, usage of a safe word, kissing, petnames (princess, baby...), aftercare, sunghoon makes up for being crazy, lots and lots of fluffiness, lmk if I missed anything!!
「notes」 : this is a requested add-on by this anon here! I would also like to dedicate this to someone who I know has read the first part many of many times... hehe haze (@pockettwinzz). I hope you enjoy this!! <3
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Your vision flashes white as Sunghoon pulls yet another orgasm from your spent body. The moans and cries that fell from your lips were merely squeaks as you had long since lost your voice. Sunghoon’s relentless thrusts into your overly sensitive cunt were causing your brain to fog, pain shooting through all of your nerves. 
Sunghoon had lost count of how many times either of you had cum; both of your bodies were covered in the other's cum and sweat. The sheets under your body were drenched in your juices, causing them to stick to your body.
“Fuck baby, you’re begging me to stop, yet you’re still squeezing me so hard.” Sunghoon groaned as he landed one particular thrust causing you to cry out as pain shot through your lower body. His hands that were gripping your hips were sure to leave bruises.
Your hands that he had freed moments ago were wrapped around his forearms, nails leaving crescent marks on his skin. Pleas of him to slow down came out incoherent as he continued to fuck into you maliciously. You couldn’t even warn him nor prepare yourself when another orgasm washed over you, nearly causing you to pass out for the second time.
It was starting to hurt more than it was pleasurable, and you weren’t sure how much more you could take before it broke you completely. So, mustered as much strength as you could, moving your hands to push against his lower abdomen.
“P-Purple.” You breathed out, merely above a whisper, as your eyes squeezed shut, tears streaming from the corners. However, Sunghoon didn’t hear you and slapped your hands away to continue to slam into you, on the brink of his own orgasm. “Purple! Sunghoon, please.” You cried out, your voice hoarse, and all of Sunghoon’s movements slowed, allowing you to breathe for once in the many hours he has had you underneath him.
“Say that again.” Sunghoon wasn’t sure if he had heard you right, but the way your shaky hands were trying to pry his hands away from your body was enough for him to slow to a complete stop.
“Purple. It hurts, Sunghoon, please.” You sobbed, your tearful eyes looking up to meet his, and he could have sworn his heart stopped.
It was like a switch had flipped in Sunghoon’s brain; he loosened his grip on your hips and pulled from your abused pussy, causing you to whine out. As soon as he completely pulled out of you, you scooted away from him, pulling your legs to your body as tears continued to spill down your cheeks.
“Baby…” Sunghoon’s voice was soft as he tried to reach for you but recoiled when you flinched. “Fuck.” He cursed under his breath, bringing his hand back to his body before getting off of the bed to grab his boxers.
Pulling them up his hips, he made his way back over to you, his heart squeezing at the sight of your trembling body. He had gotten so lost in the lust and pleasure that he completely forgot to pay attention to your body language like he normally would. 
Holding his breath, he reached for your body, grabbing your bicep gently, causing you to look up at him with wide, fear-filled eyes. A sight he wished to never see. He leaned over you, his hand slipping down to your hip as he lightly pressed his forehead against yours.
“I’m so sorry, princess,” His voice was soft, and your eyes fluttered shut as his warm breath washed over your face. “Let’s get you cleaned up, and we can watch a movie or something, okay?” His thumb rubbed soothing circles on your hip, causing your body to relax a bit. Sensing that you were starting to calm down, Sunghoon pulled away slightly, “I’m gonna run you a bath; just sit tight.” You breathed out slowly as he pressed a soft kiss against your forehead before pulling away completely and making his way to the bathroom.
~
Walking into the bathroom, Sunghoon turned on the tap, letting the water run warm before plugging the drain. He then walked over to the counter and leaned against it, eyes closed as he beat himself up for going overboard.
Letting out a frustrated groan, he opened his eyes only to see the marks on his forearms from where you had been digging your nails into his skin. Small blotches of dried blood around some of them.
“Fuck me…” He sighed, pushing himself off of the counter before running his hands through his hair. He felt like a complete asshole after seeing the tears that covered your face knowing that they were no longer because of pleasure, and it took you using the safe word for him to realize.
Letting out a long sigh, he looked over at the bath, seeing that it was full enough, so he walked over and turned the tap off. He then grabbed one of the bath bombs that you kept here and placed it in the water, watching it bubble for a few moments before making his way out of the room.
Walking into the bedroom, Sunghoon found you still curled up on the bed, only moving enough to grab the blanket to cover yourself. Your eyes were droopy as you tried to fight the urge to sleep off. He couldn’t help but smile softly at how cute you were, the way your hair stuck to your forehead, and how your lips were parted slightly as you breathed.
“Princess…” he called out to you, and the only response he got was a soft hum as you snuggled deeper into the sheets, causing him to chuckle slightly. “The bath is ready, come on.” He peeled the blanket off of your body, causing you to whine and open your eyes to look at him.
“I don’t wanna.” You grumbled, trying to grab the blanket back, but he just moved it further from your reach. A pout formed on your lips as you tried to give him the best ‘puppy-dog’ eyes you could muster, hoping that he would just let you lie there and sleep.
“I know you love my cum, but you don’t need to sleep with it on you. Unless you really want to.” He teased, causing heat to flush your cheeks as you covered your face. Chuckling, Sunghoon leans down to scoop you up in his arms, a small sound of surprise leaving your lips and your arms going around his neck. He pressed a kiss against your kiss, relishing the warmth your skin brought him before making his way back into the bathroom.
Once you both were in the bathroom, Sunghoon walked over to the bathtub and sat you inside. You let out a soft sigh as the warm water surrounded your body, closing your eyes as you took in the scent of cherry blossoms filling your nostrils. 
You moved slightly to make room for Sunghoon because you thought he would be joining you, but you felt him move away from the tub. Quickly opening your eyes, you reached out to grab him, your fingers wrapping around his pinky and ring fingers, causing him to look back at you.
“Are you not getting in?” You sounded disappointed as you looked up at him, your bottom lip jutted out. He smiled softly before grabbing your hand and kissing the center of your palm.
“I need to change the sheets; I’ll join you afterward.” He promised before setting your hand down and making his way out of the bathroom.
~
On his way to the laundry room, Sunghoon found Jake sitting on the couch, watching something on his phone. Raising an eyebrow, he looked at the older male, wondering why he was just sitting there. Feeling someone’s eyes on him, Jake looked over, meeting Sunghoon’s eyes and taking the earbud out of his ear.
“Uh… hey,” Jake greeted the dark-haired male sheepishly, “there’s food in the kitchen, I was gonna let you know earlier, but you were too busy dicking y/n down.” He pointed towards the entrance of the kitchen, “How is she? By the way, it sounded like you were really giving it to her.” 
Sunghoon glared at the boy, having not forgotten why he was in this situation to begin with. Biting back the insults on his tongue, he turned to walk away.
“Don’t let me catch you near her unless absolutely needed.” Sunghoon’s voice was cold, causing a chill to run down Jake’s spine as he watched him walk away.
After starting the washer, Sunghoon made their way over to the linen closet to grab new bedding and made his way back to the bedroom. Making quick work of making the bed, he made sure it was ready for when you got out of the bath. He then walked over to the closest to grab a change of clothes for the both of you.
Hearing his footsteps, you opened your eyes and sat up from leaning back, a small smile adorning your lips. Sunghoon felt his heart squeeze as he saw nothing but love in your eyes. He didn’t feel like he deserved it, not after what happened. He had never been that harsh before, and he never wanted to do it again if it meant seeing that look on your face.
Sunghoon stripped out of his boxers and slipped into the tub behind you as you scooted forward. Once he was settled he wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you back into him until you were resting on his chest.
That’s how the two of you sat for a little bit, relishing in the warmth of the water and each other. Sunghoon’s hands massaged your tense thighs and hips, listening to your soft moans that would slip out unintentionally. He bit the inside of his cheek, trying to keep himself from getting hard, reminding himself that you had already done more than enough.
“I’m sorry, baby. I didn’t realize how rough I was.” Sunghoon whispered as he pressed a soft kiss on your shoulder. You just snuggled closer to him, grabbing his hand and bringing it to your lips, placing kisses on each of his knuckles. 
“I’m not mad, Hoon.” You promised, interlocking your fingers with his before laying it on your stomach.
He rested his chin on the top of your head, closing his eyes and taking in the scent of your shampoo. "Are you sure?” 
You hummed a soft confirmation, leaning back into his chest, your fingers drawing shapes on his forearm. Then you felt the welts, causing you to look down, seeing the crescent-shaped wounds on his forearm. 
Noticing where your gaze was, “I’m fine, my love, I’m more worried about you.” He spoke softly as he brought his hand up to trace the bite mark that was on your collarbone. “Do you think your manager would be too mad?” 
You lay your head back on his shoulder, looking up at him as you contemplated, “She’ll be fine. I have the next week off anyway.” You shrugged, causing Sunghoon to laugh softly before nodding.
~
Once the two of you were done with the bath, Sunghoon helped you out of the water before grabbing your towel to dry your body off. You couldn’t help the silly smile that spread on your lips as he turned to grab your clothes.
When he turned back around, you had expected him to hand you your underwear, but instead, he bent down in front of you, tapping your calf softly.
“Lift your leg for me, princess.” You did as told and allowed him to slip your underwear over your hips before helping you put on one of his t-shirts.
After both of you were dressed, Sunghoon refused to let you walk the few feet into the bedroom and opted to just carry you. Your arms hung loosely around his neck as he carried you into the room. Your eyes were on his face, and you studied all of his features in detail, much like you normally do when you’re this close.
“Did you want to watch a movie?” He asked as he softly laid you on the bed, his hands barely leaving your body as he joined you in the comforter. 
You just snuggled into his side as he finished getting comfortable, throwing the blanket over the both of you.
“No, I just wanna sleep.” You mumbled into his chest as your arms draped over his abdomen.
Sunghoon nodded, kissing your forehead and turned slightly to switch the lamp off before wrapping his arms around your body. The feeling of his fingers tracing shapes on your back and the sound of his heartbeat under your ear was enough to lull you to sleep, but you had one last thing you wanted to get off your mind before you did.
“You know I love you and only you, right?” You lifted your head to rest your chin on his chest so you could look at him, “I’m yours just as much as you are mine.”
Sunghoon could not help the stupid smile that spread on his lips. “I love you so much, baby girl.” He spoke softly, placing one last kiss on your forehead before the both of you drifted off to sleep.
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@alvojake | Do not steal, plagiarise, translate, or repost any of my work
𝖉𝖎𝖘𝖈𝖑𝖆𝖎𝖒𝖊𝖗 : ᴛʜɪꜱ ɪꜱ ɴᴏ ᴡᴀʏ ᴀ ᴛʀᴜᴇ ʀᴇᴘʀᴇꜱᴇɴᴛᴀᴛɪᴏɴ ᴏꜰ ᴀɴʏ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴇᴍʙᴇʀꜱ. ᴛʜɪꜱ ɪꜱ ᴘᴜʀᴇʟʏ ꜰɪᴄᴛɪᴏɴ ᴀɴᴅ ꜰᴏʀ ᴛʜᴇ ᴇɴᴊᴏʏᴍᴇɴᴛ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇ ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ ᴀɴᴅ ɴᴏᴛ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ ᴛᴀᴋᴇɴ ꜱᴇʀɪᴏᴜꜱʟʏ.
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davdcorenswet · 1 month
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🌲 road trip.
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scott miller x reader Synopsis: when your camping trip with scott gets cut short because of a work emergency, you nearly kill him and every member of storm par, intent on making your ire well known on the drive home. but when you push scott too far, his impatience has other plans. or “If I have to pull over, you won’t be able to walk for a week.” Word Count: 13.3k Warnings: 18+ MINORS DNI!!!, no use of y/n, bdsm, established dom/sub dynamic, pet names (honey, sweetheart, baby), brief mentions of serial killerisms (teasingly… maybe), semi-priv public sex (in a truck), scott has a whore mouth (again), groping, belting (f! receiving), spanking/slapping (f! receiving, breasts & v), oral (m+f), nippleplay (f! receiving), unprotected pinv, orgasm denial, fingering (f), cumplay, breeding A/N: when the "just a quick one shot" turns into a beast... oops? 😬 thank you to my proud sponsor aka the scott rot™️! if you enjoyed, pls feel free to reblog or give it a like and as always, my inbox is open if you want to chat!!! 🤍
On hour two of the drive back to OKC, you think you’ve lost your mind.
What had begun as a much-anticipated weekend road trip with Scott — an incredibly overdue escape, though you weren’t exactly keeping track — had swiftly turned from enjoying the fresh, open air and the promise of an entire weekend distraction-free, to a mountain of frustration that battled the ones in the distance. All because your charming, secretly sentimental boyfriend had wanted a picture of you and the sunset for his lock screen.
If you weren’t so upset about it, you probably would’ve laughed.
But this was the fourth (fourth!) time that something had gotten in the way of your Scott Time, and, look — you needed it. So. Fucking. Badly.
Which was why when his phone had gone off again, after Scott had ignored the voicemails Javi left him, you were so, so very tempted to hurl the fucking thing into the pond. Instead, you sat there, already trying to think of a way to get your lick back with the fact that he was the one who’d insisted that going off the grid meant going off the grid and electronics simply took away from the nature of it all, the hypocritical ass. And you’d watched, with dawning realization and equal devastation, as Scott’s entire demeanor had shifted from peeved that Javi even had the audacity, to shutting his mouth and speaking in yes, sir’s and I understand, sir’s.
Oh, Marshall Riggs was going to get an absolute earful the next time y’all sat down for Sunday dinner.
But first, you had your sights set on Scott. And, quite frankly, he deserved every second of petulant that you were giving him.
When he adjusted the air conditioning, you dropped the temp lower. When he found a good station on the radio, you changed it. When he asked for one of the snacks by your seat, you munched on it first, mumbling a fake apology when you passed him a small piece. And when you finally started talking, it was one word answers: yes, no, dunno, sure, fine, whatever.
And every time he gripped the steering wheel just a little tighter, you felt vindicated by the fact that it was ticking him off.
Good. You were ticked off. And unbelievably, atrociously bored. There were only so many things you could do in his truck while you were half giving him a cold shoulder. And, well, after the last time you’d reached for the volume and he’d caught your wrist with a stern ‘knock it off’, like you were a child, you’d resorted to pouting out the window, then sifting through his middle storage, and then snooping through his glove box.
All of which were boring, in the exact way that only a man’s truck could be boring. Who didn’t have a car Chapstick, but could have packs of gum hidden everywhere? And where were the just-in-case napkins? And what did he even use pliers for?
Your brattiness — no, curiosity — wins over the agitation that still simmers just under the surface. You turn to Scott with a mischievous grin as you hold up the pliers. “Be honest. Are you secretly a serial killer?”
Scott glances at you, then at the pliers, before rolling his eyes with a faint smirk. “Caught me,” he deadpans, his voice carrying just enough sarcasm to draw out your giggle.
“I knew it.” You dig further into his glove box like you expect to find a pair of gloves, which stupidly has you giggling because you’d lost your mind, see, and there was no way there’d actually— Oh. Shit. He really did have gloves. “You’re the worst serial killer I’ve met. Your whole murder kit is in here and you haven’t even tried to kill me yet?”
“Getting close to it, honey,” Scott quips, a teasing edge to his voice that makes your heart flutter. His eyes stay fixed on the road, but you catch the slight twitch of his lips, betraying his amusement.
Until you keep it up, making an exaggerated show of pulling out every item you find, each discovery more dramatic than the last. The subtle tightening of his jaw tells you that rummaging through his stuff is getting more of a rise from him than your earlier silence had. His grip on the steering wheel tightens, the whites of his knuckles glowing under the moonlight, and you can’t help but feel a thrill of satisfaction at the sight.
Curling your knees to your chest with his newest item in your lap (a bundle of zip ties), you bat your lashes up at him with feigned innocence. “Am I bothering you, baby?”
“Nope.” Scott, to his credit (you pretend it’s not because you’re his girlfriend but because he just chooses to be kind), swallows down whatever shitty retort is on the tip of his tongue as he shakes his head. “Not at all.”
His eyes flick briefly to you, then back to the road, as if anchoring himself, before he plasters one of his obnoxiously fake smiles on that doesn’t reach his eyes. Your own smile slips at the blatant irritation bubbling just beneath the surface, hating that look, knowing he knew you hated when he was fake with you. He reaches over, his hand finding your knee — not in the usual affectionate squeeze, but more as a grounding gesture, a silent plea for you to stop before you push him too far.
“You might want to close that now,” he adds, his voice soft but laced with an unmistakable edge as he jerks his chin toward his still-open glove box. “Before I really lose my patience.”
“But...” you start, pouting a little, your fingers lingering on the edge of the glove box. “I was just having fun. I mean, what else could be in here? Secret spy gadgets? Hidden treasures?”
Scott’s grip on the steering wheel tightens. His patience is fraying, each word clipped and precise as he says, “Close. It. Now.”
You relent, closing it with a dramatic flourish and an equally exaggerated sigh. “Okay, okay. Glove box exploration time is over.”
Scott exhales, his shoulders relaxing just a fraction. “Thank you,” he mutters, though his eyes still carry a hint of irritation as he changes the radio station a couple of times, scowling at the country crooning through his speakers, before just shutting it off.
“You sure you’re okay?” You test, still pushing his limits. You figured that Scott knew you better than that. That you knew him better than that. Nearly seven months together — again, not that you were counting — and he really thought you couldn’t tell when something was off?
You continue, “Just because… Well, you seem a little stressed. Is it because you didn’t get to tie me up and torture me back there by the pond? I mean, I’m sure you’ll get another chance someday, like when cows fly, but—”
“Are you done?” Scott huffs, shooting you a look.
You don’t back down from it, leveling him with your own hard expression. When he’s forced to return to the road, breaking eye contact first, that prideful part of you purrs. He sighs. “I don’t like this any more than you do, but I don’t have any other choice. So sit down, shut up, and stop fucking with my system, please.”
He says the last through gritted teeth, and as much as you loved to antagonize him, you knew when to push and when to not. Putting the last of the stuff back where you’d found it exactly how you’d found it, you stuff your hands under your thighs and pout quietly until he visibly relaxes again.
“You’re not being very nice,” you mumble, the silence that encases you both too much to bear.
Scott runs his tongue over his teeth, then looks over at you, his expression hard. “And you’re lucky I haven’t spanked your ass raw for that attitude yet.” Surprise must flash across your face, because a smirk twitches at the corner of his mouth that he quickly masks. “What? Did you think I would just let all that slide?”
“No.”
Maybe.
“Liar.”
Damn it.
Before you can say anything else, Scott reaches over, gently but firmly tilting your chin, forcing you to meet his gaze as his eyes leave the road for a second. “Do I need to remind you of the rules?” he asks, his tone shifting from frustrated to something far more controlled and deliberate — each word laced with a quiet authority that sends a shiver down your spine and makes your blood run hot.
It’s a tone you’ve come to know all too well, one that signals a subtle shift in the dynamic between you, a reminder of exactly who’s in charge.
To anyone else, it might have sounded like another classic Scott lecture — a stern word from someone who was used to being in control. But you knew this side of him intimately well, understood the depths of what he was really asking. This wasn’t just about a conversation or setting you straight; it was a command, a subtle but potent assertion of the power he held over you.
“Answer me,” he prompts, his voice dropping to a low, steady hum that makes your pulse race. “Yes or no, honey.”
“No,” you breathe, testing the waters of defiance.
“Let’s try that again.” Scott’s grip remains steady on the wheel, but the weight of his gaze feels like a tightening hold around you. “No, what?” he asks, his voice low and demanding, leaving no room for anything but the correct response.
You swallow. The tension between you is thick and electric. “No, sir.”
He holds your gaze for a moment that feels like an eternity, long enough for you to actually worry about him being behind the wheel. But a quick glance at the road reassures you — he’s in complete control, staying perfectly between the lines, maintaining a comfortable distance from the cars ahead and behind.
His eyes flicker to your mouth, lingering there with a deliberate intensity. “We’ll see.”
A noise of discontent escapes you immediately when he returns to his side of the truck as if nothing happened, all the air leaving your lungs. We’ll see. That was it? No good girl? It’s a reprimand all on its own, defiance filling you quickly.
What was the point of his rules if he wasn’t going to listen to them?
First with his phone, which had gotten you here in the first place, and now this. You pout, crossing your arms as you glare at the car in front of you, hating everything about this weekend. God, you’d both been so exhausted from the drive to the campsite that you hadn’t even touched him like he’d promised you could **— **on top of the week he’d already instructed you not to touch yourself.
And now Scott was going to be buried in work again. He’d drop you off at home just to drive another hour or two to who the hell knew where, and from there it was back to the office to get the paperwork rolling, call the banks, pouring hour after hour into making sure this deal went through. All because Riggs had decided his time off was more important than yours.
But it wasn’t. You’d waited eons for this. And you were damned if you were going to let both him and Scott stop you.
Slowly, so slowly, you angle yourself toward your boyfriend, his eyes distant as he readjusts in his seat and fishes absentmindedly for a piece of gum to smack on. For a moment you can’t help but admire him, appreciating the way he filled out the seat, the way his jaw worked with the gum, how when he got lost in his thoughts and had a particularly interesting idea he swiped his fingers along his perfect, full mouth.
He was masculine without any effort, intelligent and calculating, and, despite this weekend, was the most attentive boyfriend you’d ever had.
And you ached for him.
Just that tone shift alone — from Scott to sir — had spiked your temperature, leaving you warm with the lack of air conditioning. You knew better than to reach for the knobs, even if the thought of him pinning your wrist down had your thighs pressing together. So you shift forward to unzip his jacket you’d stolen, meaning to shimmy it off, when you catch his eyes on you.
Instead of taking it off completely, you let the gray fabric bunch to your elbows. His eyes slide from the way it now sits on you to your white tank top before focusing back on the road, his gum making that unmistakable snap! he always did. “What’re you doing?” He asks, stealing another glance as you wriggle in the seat.
“Just hot, baby,” you hum, which wasn’t a lie.
But there’s no way to be subtle as you collect your hair into a ponytail and tie it with your scrunchie, just like there’s no way Scott can be subtle as he zeroes in on your hair being up or the fact that your tits jiggle with every bump or dip in the road. His hand flexes on the wheel, quick to snap his attention to the mirrors, as if he’d been checking them in the first place.
You bite back a smile.
By the time Scott is pressing on the brakes, an accident brings the two-lane down to one, one foot is propped up on his dashboard, your head turned to face him with every sigh that leaves your lips. With nothing to pull his attention now other than the slow crawl, his eyes catch yours again, his guard dropping as he falsely believes you’ve listened.
And that’s when you make your move.
“Baby,” you groan, wetting your lips as your fingers brush across his sleeve. Your other hand rests against your knee, slipping down along your thigh while you bat thick lashes up at him. “Can you turn the air on, please? I’m dying.”
“Mhm.” Scott does, following the invisible line your fingers paint across your skin as the air kicks on. The cool air is welcomed and the content noise that leaves you isn’t entirely fabricated. When his hand drops to rest on your thigh, you know he feels how flushed you are under his cold touch. And you know he feels you arch into it. “How’s that? Better?”
“’ Little.” Not even close, but you play it up now that you’ve got him. “Still too hot.”
“Sorry, honey,” Scott’s deep voice is genuine, frowning a bit as he squeezes your thigh. “Got it the lowest it can go. Need me to roll a window down?”
You shake your head. “It’d just bring all the hot air in.” Something he should’ve known, but you couldn’t blame him for being a little distracted. You press on, confident, still inflecting that whine in your voice. “Your hand feels good, though.”
His touch inches up your thigh in response, sure that he’s not even aware he’s doing it. As your touch moves in time with his, you drag your free hand across your chest, pressing against the leather of his seats and pushing a strap off your shoulder. The cool air directly hitting you causes a flurry of goosebumps to rise and your nipples to poke through the fabric, chest rising and falling as you make a show of overheating.
Scott snaps his gum again, removing his hand to tug gently on his jacket. “What did I say about going through my stuff?”
“Oh, you left it at my place. I didn’t think it’d be a big deal.” You try to play innocent, but the smile you give him is nothing short of mischievous as you intentionally arch up into his touch. “Do you want it back, sir?”
He’s quiet for so long that you think he’s returned to the road. Instead, his eyes are locked on the thin tank top that clings tight around you. A quiet hum echoes in the back of his throat as he runs his knuckles over the swell of your breast, dragging slowly across your nipple, before he seems to think better of himself and places both hands back on the wheel.
“Keep it.” He grunts, “It looks better on you, anyway.”
“Really?” Despite how you try to hide the happiness from your voice, you fail miserably. Scott didn’t offer many liberties, especially not with his personal belongings. You don’t let the distance keep you far, unhooking your seatbelt and leaning over the center divider to beam up at him.
“Really.” Your heart pitter-patters in your chest when he hums again, pressing a quick kiss to your lips. His eyes slide back to the road, still at a slow crawl. “Don’t get any ideas, honey.”
Oh, you had about fifty different ones, most of which included seeing how far you could go down this new avenue. You drop a kiss to his shoulder, nuzzling against his cold skin, slipping your arm through his and guiding his hand back to your thigh. Scott squeezes again, a small warning to behave. But since when did you do that?
“Come on,” he taps an index against you after a few minutes, “Buckle up. Safety first.”
“But—” You pout, wrapping your arm around him tighter. He could drive with one hand, and besides, you were barely moving enough for a seatbelt to matter. “You feel so nice. And you’re always away for sooo long, baby. And now you’re gonna be gone again?” Brushing your nose along his jaw, you let your hand drop casually to his thigh. “I just miss you.”
“It’ll only be for a few days.” He shifts under you, chewing his gum slower. No doubt weighing whether he should let this continue or end it early.
“A few days too many.” You feel him inhale as your touch roams, sliding over his muscled thigh and across the zipper of his jeans. He’s already half-hard, the outline of him growing more apparent as you continue, “Do you know how lonely it gets without you? Knowing I can’t cuddle you… Kiss you… Touch you?”
You grope him where you know his weak point is while leaning up to scrape your teeth against his earlobe. His hips lift of their own accord as he instinctively searches for more, his grip on the wheel tightening as he squeezes your thigh in his big hands.
You hide your smile as he thickens under your palm. And smile wider at the growl in his voice as he orders, “Behave.”
“Am I breaking any rules, sir?” With your lips at his ear, every needy breath against him has Scott tensing in response.
Your shorts ride up — and so does his hand, until he’s close enough that you can grind your clothed heat into him. It’s just a single roll of your hips, keeping pressure where you crave him, but it has you whining all the same.
“Please, I missed you so much… I miss touching you, feeling how big you are in my hands…” You drag your palm against his thick length, fully straining against his zipper now, his breath coming out heavy as you grip him. “Please, please, just let me taste you. I’ll be such a good girl, I promise. Wouldn’t I look so pretty with your cock stuffed down my throat? Sounding so pretty as I choke on you?” You whimper against him, the sound small and needy. “Please, sir?”
The combination of your fingers wrapped around him and the feel of your tongue lapping at that sweet spot on his neck has Scott groaning, the noise coming from deep in his throat. Before you can react, he presses you firmly back into your seat, keeping you pinned with his hand across your sternum while you try to fight against the distance he forces between you two.
“Behave.” His gaze meets yours, dark and heavy and no-nonsense.
Your cunt clenches at the authority in his tone, nipples peaking in response. Scott slips his palm under the fabric of your shirt, kneading your heaving chest and rolling the hardened nub between his index and thumb. You writhe at the sensation, a moan spilling out of you, until he pinches you hard enough that you gasp. Just as quick as it happens, he pulls out just enough to bring his palm down roughly against your tit.
The sting of the impact has you arching off the seat as your cry pierces the silence.
Scott presses his index to your mouth in warning as the police lights finally illuminate his truck, the accident off to the side. You’re breathing too heavy to pay attention to it beyond that, not caring about anything happening outside of this truck, and you pass by quickly without any incident.
The air is still heavy as you meet his gaze. And you can’t help when your fingers grip the sides of your shorts to bunch the material in your hands, greedily grinding into the taut seam aligned perfectly with your center.
Scott watches it all silently. “You want to be my good girl?” His fingers draw invisible lines down your thigh, spreading your legs apart with just a touch. You comply easily, nodding as he smooths his hand along your skin and ignites a fire inside you. “Then fucking act like one.”
There’s no warning when he slaps your pussy hard, the denim digging painfully into you. Your hands fly out to grip whatever you can as your hips stir against the pain, crying out as another smack sounds, punishing your disobedience.
And still, you can’t help but whine out for him. “But I need you! I’ve been so, so good this whole time, I swear. Even when you told me not to touch, even when I wanted to so badly— I listened, I swear I did.” Pouting over at Scott, you whimper. “Please, I promise.”
“Go on. Keep it up. Do you think you’re listening now?” His hand tightens to a fist as he rests it hard against the center divider. His gaze pings to the time display on the dashboard, then to you. “The more you misbehave, the longer you wait. Was a week too short, honey? Do we need to extend it to two? Three? Can you even wait that long without disobeying me again?”
You can barely answer, only whimpering out as you press yourself into his arm, careening out of the seat. His hand clasps hard around your wrist when you reach for his zipper again, cutting off whatever noise is in your throat with a low growl.
“If I have to pull over,” he grits out, looking you dead in the eyes, “You won’t be able to walk for a week.”
You level his hard gaze with your own even as your heart pounds heavy, his threat thinly veiled as his grip tightens around your wrist.
And you swear you don’t mean to, but the words tumble out of your mouth before you can stop them. “Can you go that long without fucking me? If I can’t touch, neither can you. Not a kiss, not a hug, I won’t even let you fuck my mouth!”
As your frustration boils over, you breathe raggedly against yourself, fighting to rip your hand out of his strong grasp. He’s quiet as he watches you, the look in his eyes betraying nothing that simmers underneath the surface.
Calmly, too calmly, he continues driving, following the road as the dark trees pass you by. When he moves off the pavement to turn down a dirt road, your heart flies to your throat.
“What are you doing?” You squeak, looking behind you as if expecting anyone else to follow, but it’s just you on the solitary single lane, his tires crunching on the dirt road. “Scott?”
His mouth stays shut, turning into a clearing of trees. You usually love the outdoors, but the forest around you looks foreboding and eerie, the trees looming large overhead. You glance out the window to the night sky, but there’s not even a twinkle of starlight here. Just inky black nothingness.
He shuts the engine off, taking the headlights with it.
You think you stop breathing.
“Get in the back.” His order is quiet against the silence but travels along your skin, leaving goosebumps in its wake. “Now.”
As much as you want to protest, the words catch in your throat, refusing to form. Instead, you wordlessly climb over the center divider, dropping his zip ties into the cupholder with a deliberate clink. Your bags, shoved angrily into the back when he’d asked you to pack up, tumble to the floor, landing in a haphazard pile as you settle into the backseat.
The sudden darkness engulfs you, your eyes straining to adjust to the dim light. You can barely make out Scott’s silhouette, his intense gaze fixed on you before he opens his door with a determined click.
Silently, Scott slips out of the driver’s seat, the slam of each door echoing through the night like a final verdict. You hold your breath as he rounds the truck, each crunch of his boots against the twigs and leaves sounding louder than meant to be. The backseat door opens, and he slides in beside you, the leather creaking softly under his weight.
You find your breath again when his hand, warm and steady, smooths around your ankle, his touch both grounding and possessive. He makes room for himself, his presence filling the confined space with an electric charge. The air grows thick with anticipation as you sit there, the darkness around you deepening, your heart pounding in your chest.
Scott’s fingers trail up your leg with deliberate slowness, each movement precise and controlled. His eyes never leave yours, the intensity of his gaze holding you hostage. “You didn’t think I’d let you off that easily, did you?” he murmurs, his voice low and commanding, sending a shiver down your spine.
Your eyes dart to either side of you, searching for some sort of escape. But it was too dark outside to see, the woods maybe terrified you a little bit without Scott by your side, and even if he chased after you — and you weren’t bratty enough to do that — you had absolutely no idea how to get back to a road, let alone the road.
And, well, you didn’t really want to get away from him. Just the punishment you knew he would dole out for your disobedience.
Still—
“I thought we had to get back to the city,” you squeak out, voice trembling against your better efforts as you try to plead your case to deaf ears, “Riggs– Riggs said you needed to be back, right? And you know how far my place is from your office, and—”
“We have time for this,” Scott interrupts, his voice firm, a low rumble that leaves no room for argument. He presses his index to the pout of your mouth, silencing you. It sends a jolt of electricity through you, your breath hitching as you squirm under his grip, eyes wide and pleading.
If you were a deer in headlights, Scott was a hunter. And he was a damn good hunter.
Scott’s beautiful mouth curves into a grin, his eyes darkening with a hint of amusement. He leans in closer, his presence overwhelming, the scent of leather and the outdoors mingling with his intoxicating scent. The tension in the air thickens, every sound amplified by the stillness of the night. The rustling leaves outside, the distant hoot of an owl, even the faint hum of the truck’s cooling engine — all seem to echo the pulsing beat of your heart.
You can feel the rough texture of his jeans against your skin as he shifts, making himself comfortable, his body pressing against yours in the confined space. His hand, warm and commanding, moves from your mouth to cup your cheek, his thumb brushing lightly over your lips.
“You’re not going anywhere until I say so,” he states, his eyes gleaming, all possession and affection. His words wrap around you like a promise, binding you to this moment, to him.
You swallow hard, your throat dry, the gravity of everything sinking in. Scott’s eyes lock onto yours, a silent command for your complete attention. His other hand slides down your arm, leaving a trail of goosebumps in its wake, before settling on your waist, pulling you even closer.
“Relax,” he whispers, his breath warm against your ear. “You’re safe with me.”
Your lashes flutter as a noise sounds in the back of your throat, caught between a plea and a whimper. You trusted Scott more than anything, and knew, without question, without fear, that he would never do anything you didn’t want.
And god, you wanted him bad enough that it ached.
“I need you to understand a few things, honey,” Scott continues, his voice still that deadly calm, his finger dragging slowly down your chin, tracing a deliberate path down the column of your throat. “I can tolerate you being upset. I’m not happy about it, either, despite what you might think.”
He pauses for a moment, letting his gaze lock onto yours, his eyes dark and unwavering. “But what I won’t tolerate,” he says, his tone sharpening as he closes his hand around your throat with a possessive grip, “is your disrespect.”
“But—”
“Shut up.” Scott’s voice is a low, dangerous growl as he tightens his hold on you, his thumb pressing firmly into your pulse. The pressure is confident and calculated — the kind of control that comes from having done this countless times before. “I’m not done.”
Defiance bubbles up and fights Scott at every turn, and despite the way you wriggle under him, your eyes grow hazy with need at the feel of his hand around your throat. God, you knew exactly what those hands were capable of; sweet, delicious torture, doling punishment and reward with equal passion. “But—”
“Why can you never fucking listen?” His voice drops to a growl that vibrates against your ear, his body shifting so that his weight presses down on you. You whimper at the added pressure, your fingers instinctively fisting the fabric of his shirt, trying to hold onto something solid.
Scott notices. With a swift motion, he knocks your wrists away, gripping both of them together with a firm, unyielding hold. When he pins them above your head, possessive and commanding, you can’t help but moan, growing pliant under his weight.
“Maybe I do need to remind you of my rules,” he says, his voice a dangerous purr, “since you seem to like breaking them.”
He leans in closer, his breath warm against your cheek. Every word is low and steady, completely in control. “You’re going to pay attention now, aren’t you? You’re going to listen to every word I say.”
Your pulse races under his thumb, the pressure making it difficult to focus on anything other than the commanding presence of his body pressed against yours. The conflicting emotions — fear, need, frustration — swirl together, drawing the breath from your lungs.
Scott’s eyes meet yours again, the dark intensity he’d first set on you softening slightly. “Do you trust me?” He asks, his voice barely more than a whisper, carrying with it both a challenge and an invitation.
“Yes, sir,” you breathe. Always.
“Good.” He presses a tender kiss to your temple and cheek, nudging his nose into the curve of your shoulder and kissing the column of your throat. Your body responds in kind, arching up into his generosity, the calm before the storm, as he slowly releases his hold on you. One tap against your wrist is a silent order to keep them there, and you thread your fingers together, looping them into the door grip as he kisses his way back up to your mouth. “Because you’re going to hate me tonight.”
You want to tell him that such a thing is impossible — there was nothing Scott could do that would make you hate him, no matter how much of a pain in the ass he was sometimes — but he doesn’t give you a chance to speak. Lifting you up, or at least as much as he can in the truck with his hulking size, Scott draws a hand around the curve of your waist, pushing his jacket aside to expose more of you.
“Take this off.” He orders. His expression melts back into one of superiority, one you’re all too familiar with, and you try not to pout when he continues with, “I changed my mind. I want it back.”
“Want what back?” You hum, fingers twitching. You debate the pros and cons of pointing out that you can’t take off his jacket with your hands still pinned in place, but bite your lip instead. You were already pushing the envelope — a lot — by feigning innocence.
“You know what.” Sensing that you’re still… sort of… listening, Scott, taps your wrist twice, freeing you of your position. Under his tone, your fingers close around the material of his comfortable clothing, lifting to slip it fully off your frame. You drop it next to your stuff with your eyes trained on his. “When I’m convinced you can behave, I’ll consider giving it back.”
That snaps your mouth shut. Pressing your lips together, you nod as you place your hands back in their previous position, the only tell that he’s satisfied by your change of heart being a slight twitch of a smile.
“I didn’t say you were done,” he drags his gaze along the length of you, his touch following where his eyes roam until he hooks a finger around the belt loop of your shorts. “Take these off, too, and turn around.”
Electricity charges through you at the command in his voice. Your movements are slow, careful, as you try not to bump into anything as you slide out from under him and remove your shirt. Your shorts follow, but he stops you as you hook your thumbs under the waist of your panties, both of his large hands sliding on your hips to face you opposite him.
He’s massive against you, your back pressing against his chest as his hands roam freely, trailing up the length of you and then down your arms to place your hands back in their previous position, fingers curling around yours in a silent gesture. And then his touch returns, calloused fingertips dragging over every spot of your soft skin, cupping your breast in his hand as he sighs against your neck.
You feel the hard length of him straining against his jeans as he pulls you to him, every caress coaxing a fire in you. Even though you want nothing more than to touch him, to take him into your hands, he has you caught. You really wanted that jacket.
And you hated disappointing him.
His touch wanders to your ass, squeezing the flesh in his hand before he smooths a hand up your spine, signaling for you to bend over. You comply with shallow breaths, the warmth of him missing when he puts even more space between you.
“How many times do you think you disobeyed me tonight, honey?” He asks, the question making your heart stutter. He continues to knead your skin, but with your angle, you can’t see anything happening behind you. “I’ll let you guess.”
You try to think back, but everything is hazy now. When you got in these moods — which was more often than not — you had a hard time telling which rules were broken and which weren’t, because, well, you tended to do it a lot. And you knew Scott well enough by now that even if you guessed any number, it wouldn’t be specific. It wouldn’t be right. Guess lower, and he’d add more. Guess higher, and he’d use your number, then remind you of the true one after it was all said and done.
A gasp escapes from you as your eyes flutter shut. Fuck. “I– I don’t know, sir.”
If he’s surprised, he doesn’t let it show. Instead, he just hums, adjusting the twisted straps of your underwear higher up on your hips. “Thirty-two times.” He lets that sit heavy in the air for a moment, your breath stalling in your throat. “You know what happens when it gets that high, honey.”
“You use the belt,” you whisper, the words barely audible.
Scott nods. “Mhm. I use the belt.” The soft, metallic clink of his buckle coming undone is followed by a steady hand against your hip, smoothing circles along your skin as you begin to tremble in anticipation. “Shhh. You know the rules. Count.”
The first point of contact is always the worst. He lets the moment play out, your body tensing and easing as you wait for any sign that it’s coming, but he gives no indication when he stops touching you. And then the sharp sting as leather meets your rear, the folded-over halves biting into you with practiced efficiency.
Your eyes squeeze shut, fingers tightening around the handle as you gasp out, “One.”
By the end, your muscles are taut and your backside is red and flaming, your whimpers spilling freely from your mouth. It takes more effort than you’d like to admit to hold yourself up, trembling with exertion. Scott rubs his hand along your curves, having given equal attention to both cheeks, a content noise sounding in the back of his throat as you still careen toward him.
“Last one, honey. You’re doing so good.” He praises quietly, the only encouragement you need as his belt goes sailing toward you again, leaving another welt in its wake.
“Thirty-two!” Escaping through gritted teeth, you jerk forward with the impact, breathing hard and heavy when you hear the clink of his belt falling to the floor.
Scott taps twice along your stomach as he brings you up to his chest, careful to leave space between you as he smooths over your sore muscles, easing the pain. He presses kisses along your throat, your shoulder, letting you shake against him as you lulls you down from the high, every touch soft and affectionate. “That’s it, I know… Shhh… Did so good for me, honey…”
Each sweet nothing brings you down, continuing to press kisses against your skin until your breathing evens out. Scott sets his hands to your hips, holding you firmly, nudging the space just behind your ear.
“If you just listened, I wouldn’t have to punish you.” He reminds, letting your hands drift over his. Despite the softness of his tone, you still catch the authority seeping through every word, and you know it’s far from over. “I don’t like how you spoke to me today, honey.”
“I’m sorry, sir,” you breathe, meaning them truthfully. Scott presses another kiss to your skin in acknowledgment. “I was just upset. I wanted to spend this weekend with you, and—”
“Am I not making this time now?” He questions, cutting you off. When his touch wanders between your thighs, fingers circling your clothed clit, soaked despite his brutal treatment, he groans against you. “What was it you said earlier… That I couldn’t touch you? That you wouldn’t let me?”
Vaguely, through your hazy mind, you remember saying that. But you keep your mouth shut, quiet little noises escaping as he continues to please you, easing away the pain he’d caused. Your desire for him, so neglected because of his orders, coils deep inside you as he recites your perfect tempo — having spent hours exploring, learning, and committing what you enjoyed to memory.
“Let’s make one thing abundantly clear,” he continues. “Every part of you is mine to touch, spank, suck, lick, and fuck as I please. Any time. Any day. Any place. Those are the rules you agreed to. If I want you just like this…” Adding pressure, he holds you up as your knees buckle against him, “I will, for as long as I want. Do you understand?”
“Yes, sir.” Your words come out shaky, breath hitching with every skilled circle of his fingers. “I understand, sir.”
“Then show me you understand.” Within a second his touch is gone, leaving you delirious as you search for him. You hear the rustle of fabric behind you, twisting to watch him slip off his shirt, then ease himself down on the backseat with a foot firmly planted on the floor. His fingers hover over the button on his jeans, flipping it open as his dark gaze trains on you. “Come here.”
You comply immediately, drawing forward as his hand slips in your hair. Scott pushes down the restricting fabric, slipping his hand into his black briefs, freeing himself from his jeans. Your mouth waters at the sight of him, thick and veiny and dripping with precum, his fist stroking himself as he holds you there, coating his length with his desire.
“Look what you do to me,” he whispers, drinking in every shallow breath, the way your eyes remain fixed on his hand, how your hips stir with every twist like you imagining yourself riding him. “Even when you’re a fucking brat, I can’t get enough of you, honey. Always so fucking hard for you. You have no idea…” He releases himself to cup your chin, spreading himself over the swell of your mouth. You greedily taste what he offers, tongue lapping at him before sucking on the tip of his thumb. “I’d spend an eternity inside you if I could.”
Those words — the claim, the rare admission — makes your heart somersault in your chest.
Without waiting for his command, you crawl between his legs and sink to draw your hand along his jean-clad thigh, a silent plea echoing in your eyes. As he wets his lips, you grip his length in your hand, his girth barely allowing you to wrap fully around him. Scott’s breath hitches as you stroke him exactly how he prefers, your hand sinking lower with each slow, deliberate movement.
He’s hot and heavy in your hand, the tip of his cock as pink as his lips, and you pay special attention to it, thumb smoothing along the sensitive underside of him. The soft action has his hips bucking up into your touch, breath hissing between his teeth as he wraps your hair around his fist.
No matter how many times you were in this position, nothing changed how exhilarating it was to have brief a moment of power over him.
When you move to take him into your mouth, your tongue flat and eager, Scott wraps his fingers around your throat, that playful glint in his eyes replacing quickly with hellish intent.
“Did I tell you that you could touch?” He murmurs, releasing his grip on your hair to pluck your hand off him.
You want to point out that he didn’t seem to have a problem with that when he’d been half-thrusting into your hand, but the look in his eyes silences the retort on your lips. So you let him grip your wrist, and your throat, sure he can feel the heavy pound of your pulse as you whimper at the interruption.
“I just want a little taste,” you plead, jutting your bottom lip out and batting your thick lashes up at him through a heavy-lidded gaze.
Scott just shakes his head. And you feel the coil of defiance begin again.
“Don’t you want my tongue on you, sir? Licking up every thick inch of you? Seeing how much I can take in my hot little mouth?” You know you’re pushing it with how his grip on your wrist tightens, but fuck, you needed to feel him, to touch him, especially after he’d denied you the pleasure of it for so long.
You shift so your free hand wraps around his shaft again. Scott grunts as he watches you play with him, your small hand moving effortlessly along his girth. With both his hands occupied, he has nothing to stop you from doing what you want, what you need, as your gaze flickers down to openly admire his masculinity. “Don’t I look so pretty when I choke on you, baby?”
Despite how his gaze darkens and he twitches in your hand, Scott releases your wrist enough to rest his hand on the edge of the backseat, his brow raising. “You’d look prettier if you listened, sweetheart.”
The condescending nickname rolls through you, your face twisting in disgust at it — he knew you hated it, knew it reminded you of the old men who often tried to make passes at you. It disgusts you enough that you release him from your grip, watching a smile slowly spread on his face.
“I thought I told you not to call me that,” you whisper, not trusting your voice to sound weak with his fist still around you.
“And I thought I told you to listen, but you don’t seem to be doing a good job of that even after the belt.” He shifts his grip from the front of your neck to the back of it, pulling you closer. “What’s my name?”
You hesitate at how hard his gaze is trained on you. “Sir.”
He nods. “And what did you call me earlier?”
Oh. As the dots connect, realization flickering across your features, Scott’s eyes mirror your understanding. He doesn’t give you a chance to say it, continuing, “Until you can learn to listen, you don’t get to cum until I say so.”
You wait for a day, an end time, something that’ll make counting the days at least a little worthwhile — but it never comes. Instead, he just stares at you, waiting for you to defy him again, waiting for you to open your mouth, to push back. But his fingers twitch like he’s going to reach for his belt again, and the thought of that on your already raw backside makes a whimper escape.
“I understand, sir.”
His gaze softens for a moment — and a small part of you hopes that he changes his mind, that he’ll take it back… But Scott was never that type of man. Once something was final, it was final. No amount of begging or pleading could win your case.
He cups your face in his hands like he knows what he’s asking may push you past your breaking point. Never in the months you’ve been together has he implemented something indefinitely, but you’ve never pushed back this much. When his mouth roams over yours, gentle given the circumstances, you taste the sharp spearmint of his gum as his tongue explores you, soothing your whimpers and whines until you’re somewhat relaxed under his touch.
“Are you going to be a good girl if I let you blow me, honey?” He asks, lips ghosting over your mouth, your jaw, pressing a kiss against the column of your throat. You nod, not trusting your voice. “I mean it. No whining. No pleading. No biting.” His gaze flickers up to yours as a memory passes through both of you, your cheeks heating up, caught. He knew you too fucking well. “If I want you to choke on me, you’re going to choke. If I want you to wrap those pretty lips around my head, you will. And if I want your mouth not on me at all…”
“I’ll listen, sir,” you promise, breathless, squirming with need.
Scott’s eyes flash with approval, pressing one more kiss to your mouth before he settles back down against the leather. You follow, slow, cautious, your hands pressing into his thighs as he grips himself.
And when you wrap your lips around him, everything else fades away. You take him at his pace, slower than you would prefer but dutifully obeying his silent instructions, your hair coiled around his fist. The taste of him on your tongue has your eyes glazing over with desire, flickering up to watch him watch you, your head bobbing around his length, spit sliding down his shaft as he makes you take him deeper, deeper, until he’s hitting the back of your throat and there’s still inches between you.
Scott groans as he pushes you further, trained on how your body instinctively fights him, taking his cock entirely in your mouth when your nose brushes the soft skin of his abdomen. Your core drips with need, soaking your panties, at the guttural sound that escapes him: all masculine and intoxicating. You crave more of it, more of his approval, more of him — but he pulls you off with a pop, a trail of saliva traveling from his swollen head to your mouth, before doing it again and again, each time longer than the last.
“So fucking good,” he pants, pulling you off him again, his eyes blown as you suck on his tip like a lollipop.
Your tongue swirls around his head, wrapping your hands around the rest of him that you don’t swallow, little moans escaping.
And then he’s pressing you back down again, his grip holding you stationary as he thrusts into you like he can’t help himself, every action powerful and erotic as the sound of your throat taking his vigorous pace fills the truck. As he fucks your mouth, you knead your breast in your hand, pinching hard at your nipple when the desire to slip your hand between your thighs nearly overcomes you.
Scott watches it all with a growing arousal, his voice deep as he groans. “Fuck, honey, just like that. Want you to remember this next time you think of talking back,” he says, eyes closing briefly at how good you feel. “So fucking perfect with my cock down your throat. Does that make you hot, honey? Wanna rub that fucking clit while I fuck your face?”
You moan around him in response, something between a yes and a please that sounds more muffled than an actual word. Every time you take him deeper you feel that hot flash of aching desire pulse through you, your blood hot, sure that even through your panties you were dripping all over his leather seats.
The thought has your eyes rolling to the back of your head.
Scott’s growls turn positively primal as he pulls you off. “Keep making that face and I’m gonna cum right down that pretty throat.” He lifts enough to bring you to your knees, wrapping an arm around you to pull you flush against him as he drags his heavy touch along your naked frame. “You don’t want that, do you, honey? Fuck, I can smell how soaked you are for me.”
He wastes no time as he slips his hand beneath your panties, fingers sliding easily between your slicked folds as he groans. “My dirty girl. You like my filthy fucking mouth, honey, is that it?” Scott pushes a finger inside you, your body arching up into his as you nod, a breathy noise escaping. “Like when I tell you how good you feel? How fucking hard it gets me? How I dream about fucking you every single night when I’m away?”
God, yes. You assumed — but never asked — about what he thought when he couldn’t be near you, but the confirmation that you were on his mind just as much as he was on yours makes you clench around his finger.
“I’m gonna taste you,” Scott promises, his voice ragged. “And then I’m gonna fuck you so hard they’ll hear you in the city.”
It’s all the warning you get before he presses you down onto the seat, his mouth capturing yours as he settles atop you. Your body is pliant underneath his, gripping every inch of him, while he trails his mouth along your soft skin. Fuck, you felt like heaven to him — so smooth to his calloused hands.
And you made the prettiest noises when his mouth descended on your nipple, sucking and flicking at the hardened nub before giving equal attention to the other, all too aware of how your hips roll helplessly as he kisses his way down your tummy.
“I love how desperate you get,” he groans, hooking his fingers under the waistband of your panties, drawing them down your legs. He nudges your legs apart with his nose, dragging his teeth along the sensitive skin of your thigh. Thick fingers spread your folds apart as he takes you in, the touch making you reach for something to hold onto.
“Please,” you whine, running your fingertips along his shoulder, propping yourself up as he sucked a possessive mark into your thigh. Scott just hums, moving to the other, relishing in the sharp intake of breath as he nips at you. “Please make me feel good, sir?”
“You gonna be good for me?” He asks again, blue eyes flicking up to meet yours, his question serious as he nears the apex of your thighs.
You nod, tongue darting out between your lips as his focus momentarily breaks, darting down to watch how his fingers slide effortlessly over you, teasing your clit. “I’ll be good, sir, I swear.” Just as long as he keeps touching you like that, you’ll agree to anything.
Scott hums, playing with you for long enough that you think he’ll tease you into oblivion. But then his tongue darts out. licking a hot stripe up your center, and he groans, and you… You have just enough time to fall back to seat before his mouth is upon you.
The way he claims you with his tongue makes the wait worth it. Scott isn’t shy about feasting on you, his wet fingers slipping to spread your thighs further apart for him, lapping at you like your pussy is a melting ice cream cone on a hot summer day. Every swirl of his tongue, every flick against your clit, every long drag that has you gasping for breath, your mouth falling open while he readjusts his grip to keep you steady.
Scott groans as he collects your desire on his tongue, pulling back enough to revel at how spread open you are for him. He spits, the lewd action making your head spin, before his fingers rub it through your folds, circling your entrance while his other reaches up to knead your breast.
“I wish we had hours for this.” The admission is low in his voice, ragged from claiming you, pressing a kiss to your thigh as you try to still your hips against his torturous fingers. “Just as sweet as I remember, honey. Better. Fuck, you taste so…”
He doesn’t finish his thought, descending upon you again as his mouth attaches to your clit. You cry out at the special attention he gives it, teasing you just right, his tongue swirling and flicking and lips closing around the sensitive bundle of nerves. Your hips move on their own accord, fingers digging into his brown curls as you grind in time with his tongue. Scott gasps as his touch abandons you to stroke himself, the angle uncomfortable in the cramped space of his backseat.
You clamp down on your bottom lip when your orgasm builds faster than you expect it to, hoping to stifle the increase of noise as he brings you closer and closer. Scott just keeps his brutal pace, those dark blue eyes drinking in the sight of you.
“Sir—” Your breath comes out hot when he groans, the vibrations of it nearly toppling you over the edge. You want so desperately to listen, fighting the way he coaxes it quicker, something heady and mischievous sparkling in those eyes, but it’s too much, he’s too much, that invisible rubber band pulling tighter and tighter, your control slipping, the wet sounds of his tongue dragging over your heat too much to bear—
You scream out as Scott pulls away entirely from you, all that tension coiling tight with nowhere to release, and watch helplessly as his expression flickers somewhere between smug and disappointed. You tremble against the loss, little twitches that give away how close you were from disobedience, your whine high and keening.
“Oh, honey, were you close?” Scott coos, his tone full of condescension as he rests his cheek on your thigh, an evil, wicked, vile grin teasing the corners of his mouth. You glare at the dimple in his cheek. “You think I’m dumb enough to not know when you are? That your pussy doesn’t tell me when you’re trying to be quiet? I know all your tells, honey. Every. Single. One.”
He doesn’t give you a chance to reply, his palm coming down hard against your open heat. The slap has you spiraling, a cry escaping you as your back arches up off the leather, the pain lingering uncomfortably as your ass grinds against the seat. Scott wastes no time crawling up your body, swallowing all your pitiful noises as you taste yourself on his tongue.
His teeth sink into your bottom lip as he pulls away. “Not tonight, honey.”
Your heart seizes in your chest at the confirmation — having suspected it, but half-hoping that he’d forgive your past sins if you were good enough. Scott just grins, lifting so all his weight isn’t settled atop you, running his hands down the still-twitching frame of your body, pushing his jeans down further as one hand drags along your hip.
“Please?” You beg, taking his face in your hands, blinking big doe eyes up at him. “I can’t—”
“You can.” His confidence in you is unwavering, pausing his movements to give you his undivided attention. One kiss, two, three, to the corner of your mouth, each softer than the last, bringing you down from a high he stole away. “We’ll test those limits properly another time. I have so many ideas…” He trails off with a groan, seeming to think better of listing all the ways he could make you bend to his will. “But you can. And you will.”
A whimper escapes at the finality, but you manage a weak nod. It’s all the encouragement Scott needs to draw your leg around his hip, slotting himself between your parted legs. The weight of him dragging through your slicked folds presses a gasp into his shoulder, your arms sliding around his broad frame.
And then he’s sinking into you, stealing the breath from your lungs as your taut body stretches to accommodate his size.
He’s massive — and delicious and throbbing and every other perfect word in the dictionary as you forget how to breathe, how to think, the more he buries himself inside you. You hear his strangled moan against your neck as your head tosses back, pulling him closer, hissing as he draws back just to press right back into you.
He works you just like that for what feels like hours, pushing and pulling, slow as he presses kisses to your skin, holding your hips steady. You know he’s holding himself back, that he’s letting your body get used to him after so long apart, after little more than a press of his fingers and tongue at your entrance. It makes your heart flutter in your chest — he could have fucked his way ruthlessly through you and you would’ve taken every second of it just the same, but the fact that he pauses to take his time now, to lengthen a moment that he shouldn’t be having in the first place…
God. You loved him.
You both moan as he bottoms out inside you, his hips driving forward just a little further on instinct. “Fucking missed this,” Scott pants, careful as he slides a palm under you, lifting your ass off the seat to thrust inside you again. Your gentle touch trails across his broad shoulders and down his arms, a silent message for him to keep going.
And then he fucks you like he promised.
It’s a combination of everything: the time apart, the time you had left, how neither of you could seem to get close enough to each other. He splits you apart and brings you back together with every snap of his hips, filling you exactly how you need, gasping against each other as you angle up to meet him halfway.
Your mouth presses feverishly to his, the sound of your desperate moans filling the small space against the way your body greedily accepts his. Scott stalls his tempo just enough to pull away, sliding his hands back to your hips to lift you onto him before returning to his brutal pace, the new angle giving you a perfect view of his cock stretching you out.
“Being so good for me,” Scott hums, pleased, his fingers splaying over your belly as he ruts deeper into you. The intensity of it, of him, makes you blink back stars as his heady gaze is trained on yours, grabbing onto him as he continues, “Feels so fucking good, honey, fuck.“
Your eyes slip down to watch as he slides in you, the sight of him hard and coated with your arousal making you moan. Scott grips the back of your neck to keep you there, your body curled up into whatever mold he desires, pressing your knee back to the cushion as he shifts himself closer.
“Dirty fucking girl, you like that?” Scott’s voice turns guttural with how you tighten around him, your pretty moans like music to his ears, “Like watching your little pussy take my cock? Seeing how fucking good I stretch you out?”
You nod, another moan spilling from your mouth, only to whimper when he slides fully out of you. The crude smack of his cock against your clit only makes you hotter, your skin on fire as he plays with you, always in control. “Tell me,” he groans, teasing as he grinds himself against you. “Let me hear you, honey.”
“I love it,” you pant, unable to tear your gaze away from his thick length. You want desperately to reach down and press him where you crave him most, but you resist, fingers curling into fists at his sides as you plead, “Please fill me up, sir, I need it. Need you to fuck me, need you to claim me, need you to make this little pussy all fucking yours, please.”
It’s all Scott needs to press into you again, his pace hard and demanding with your wishes. He slides an arm underneath you to hold you steady, his teeth leaving marks on your neck, your shoulder, your collar, pressing moans into your skin with every rough piston of his hips, the sound of skin on skin, and your hard, labored breathing filling the space. And then he’s flipping you over, your hands and knees pressing into the leather as you push back against him, delirious with the new angle as he tugs you up, your back to his chest.
The possessive, strong grip on your waist slides up to knead your breast while he thrusts into you from behind, his lips at your ear, growling every profanity under the sun.
“This what you want, honey?” His hips snap hard into you, the contact against your sensitive ass making your eyes roll back into your head. The mix of the pleasure and the pain he gives you is unlike anything else you’ve ever felt. Scott always finds the perfect balance, his hand sliding between your thighs to tease your clit, your body wanton against him. “Being claimed? Owning you completely?” At your answering moan, he grins. “Could you handle it? Being mine in every way?”
“Yes,” you moan, trying in vain not to swirl your hips and failing, searching for more while he rolls your nipple between his fingers. “I’m already yours, sir.”
“Yeah, honey, I feel it.” They come out strangled as you clench around him, your body responding eagerly to every touch. “So sweet right now, aren’t you? Wanna cum so badly, don’t you?” You whimper out as he angles himself deeper inside you, hitting that spongey spot in time with his ministrations. It’s hard to breathe, hard to think, as he finds the perfect pace to drive you closer to the edge, dangling just on the precipice of release. “Bet you’d agree to anything right now just to cum, wouldn’t you, honey?”
Head tossing back against his shoulder, you dig your nails into his jeans where you hold him to you, looking at but not seeing the reflection of how he commands you, his mouth drawing along your neck. “Please,” you beg, trembling with the exertion of holding yourself together. “Scott— Sir, please, I’m so close—”
“I know.” Cooed, mockingly, along the column of your throat, he ceases every torturous move as he stills inside of you, his hands quick to press your hips down against his. The sudden lack of attention makes you cry out, chest heaving, as he steals your orgasm away again, the frustration and desire mixing until you’re growling through clenched teeth.
Scott just grins, watching it all with a gleeful expression, that dark look swirling in his eyes as he doesn’t dare move an inch. “You can be as nice as you want, honey,” He presses a patronizing kiss to your shoulder, that alone having you twitching against him, small little sounds that you can’t control escaping as he toys with your fraying edges. “I’m still not letting you cum tonight.”
“But—” You think better against talking back, clamping your mouth shut as you whimper again. “When?”
“When you’ve earned it.” Scott slides his hands over your body, dragging along your peaked nipples, taking both breasts in his large hands and groaning as he touches you. “You want to earn it, don’t you?”
“Yes,” you gasp automatically, your hands fisting handfuls of his brown locks as he sucks another possessive mark on you. “Please, sir.”
“How far would you go?” His voice carries that inquisitive tone that speaks of danger, the kind that has your cunt fluttering around him in response. He grunts against you at the sensation, still unmoving, just thick and hard and throbbing in you enough to leave your mind reeling. Your breath stalls when his touch wanders down to press at your belly. “Would you let me cum inside you?”
Every thought in your brain scatters at those words, wanting and needing before you can even voice it. He’s never asked; always pulling out to paint your chest, your back, your face. But the way he asks, his voice quiet yet desperate, the unmistakable edge to it that tells you he’s been thinking about it for a while, waiting for the right time, the right moment — suddenly his insistence on if you’d brought your birth control comes to the front of your mind, and you know. Know he’s been planning this. That if it weren’t here, it would’ve been sometime this weekend.
Scott is patient as he lets it all sink in, studying you, waiting for a shift of an expression, or your body responding against his desires. Something dark awakens in him at your whimper of approval.
“You’d look so fucking pretty like that,” he continues, slowly resuming his pace, much slower now than it was before, as he groans every fantasy he’s dreamt of for the past week into you. “So full of my cum… It wouldn’t all fit, would it, honey? But you’d beg me, wouldn’t you? Beg me to fuck it deeper in your sweet cunt?” Your breath labors as he grunts out, teeth sinking into your skin. “Beg me to put a baby in you?”
Fuck, yes.
You writhe against him with every word out of his mouth, your moans spilling freely as you nod, desperate, agreeable, unaware of how much he wanted it, obsessed about it. How the sight of you in his clothes made him want to put a ring on your finger, how every time you came over to his place he had to fight to ask you to move in, how the idea of your belly swollen with his child made him so horny he couldn’t think about anything else some days, how the thought of you and forever were so intertwined to him now that he couldn’t imagine anyone else to spend the rest of his life with.
All sappy, sentimental things that he didn’t dare voice, locked tight between his teeth, letting only a little spill out.
The need to own you, to claim you, was overwhelming. Scott wanted nothing more than to fuck you hard enough to make your brain flicker off until you couldn’t even speak, until you were completely at his mercy, until every drop of him was spent inside you. Possession and desire bleed into one — just waiting, aching, throbbing, bruisingly so, for your voiced consent.
“I need it,” you finally choke out, trembling, your voice utterly broken. “Please give it to me, sir? Please, please, pretty please?”
Scott moans, long and deep and loud, as he buries his face in the curve of your neck. And then he’s pounding into you, every muscle of his body pulled tight as you wrap around him like velvet perfection, his grip hard and unyielding against your hips as every rough slam of his hips into yours sends your body jolting forward. Your hand slaps to the window in front of you, leaving prints against the foggy glass, and he follows greedily, pressing his weight into you as he spreads your thighs further apart with a growl, fucking you into the seats.
Your orgasm painfully lingers, every needy moan spilling from your mouth only driving him further into you, wild with need, no longer the controlled man you knew but something more animalistic, primal.
“Fucking take it just like that,” he growls, not even sounding human, every word gritted through his teeth as you feel every thick inch of him around your slick walls, his hand slotted between your thighs to part your folds, sinking deeper until there’s no space left. “F-fuck, that’s so fucking— Perfect, honey, fuck— Pussy’s fucking made for me—”
He’s close — you can feel it in the way his thrusts grow uneven as he chases his release, the way he roughly grasps your chin to kiss you, sloppy and more tongue than lips, how his fingers leave Scott-shaped bruises wherever he grips you, his blunt nails biting into your hip, your sides, your breasts as he struggles for purchase. You don’t realize you’re sobbing in pleasure until he wipes your tears away, until he praises how good you’re being taking him like this, groaning when your body responds eagerly to his positivity.
You dance in time with him, meeting him halfway, angling your hips up just right. And you feel, rather than hear, the way Scott moans in ecstasy as he finds that perfect spot in your heat, numb to anything and everything that isn’t his thick cock pounding your weeping, used hole.
You think you cum — or maybe it’s just the last shreds of sanity leaving as Scott reaches his peak, nothing but your eyes rolling to the back of your head as he fills you with his seed, rutting up against you until it’s painful, the warmth of him spreading into you. His heart pounds against you as he slips his hand to your belly, pressing you closer, his breath hot and ragged against your skin as his hips twitch until he’s emptied out, fucking the last drops of his cum into you exactly like he’s dreamt.
And when you come down your orgasm sits uncomfortably high and untouched, a broken sob escaping you as he pulls out with a wet pop.
You feel his cum slide down your swollen cunt and flinch with sensitivity as he’s quick to collect himself on his fingers, fucking it back into you. The tension coils tightly inside of you until you’re sure you’re begging him to stop, the pleasure and pain completely overwhelming, exhausted with the effort of obeying his orders as he presses his digits into your used hole.
When you think just about to break, he stops.
And you know you’re going to kill him as he steals your release for a third time.
“Good girl,” Scott whispers, pressing kisses along your soft skin, his hands soothing every part of your twitching frame. You don’t have the strength to ask for more as he pulls you into his arms after sliding your panties back into place, letting you come down as he finds his peace in caring for you, murmuring sweet nothings while your body is pliant against him.
You nuzzle into him when you feel more in control of yourself, your heart slowing to a more steady pace. His name falls softly from your lips, your arms snaking around him to hold him close, his fingertips soft along the small of your back.
When he presses his mouth to yours, you melt into his embrace, exploring him lazily until he’s pulling away, brushing your unruly hair out of your face. “Mine.” He praises with a smile, that dark expression gone, leaving nothing but bright, shining blues you could drown in for hours. “All fucking mine. I own you.”
“Mmm,” Despite the weary in your bones, you can’t help but smile back, a giggle escaping, “Do you?”
Scott doesn’t need to slip his hand between your legs for you to get the picture, just hooks a finger along the waistband of your ruined panties. “You just let me prove it, honey.” He leans forward to kiss you again, slower this time, before pulling away with a regretful sigh when the distinctive chime of his phone goes off. “Need help getting back in your seat?”
“Already?” You whine.
“Gotta go, honey.” He taps your hip, twice. Non-negotiable. “Come on, before the bears smell you and want you for themselves.”
That has you cracking a grin. “You wouldn’t fight a bear for me?”
“What do you think the murder kit is for?” One last kiss to your mouth. “’Course I would. Just not tonight.”
You pout further, but let him grab your long-forgotten clothes off the floor, making yourself presentable again before he does the same. And when you settle back into the passenger seat as he starts the engine, you let your head rest against the window, bubbly and content and happy. Even if you know it won’t last when he has to leave.
As Scott drives through the familiar city streets, you hate the knot of apprehension that clogs your throat when your mind wanders too far about him being gone. Out on the field, anything could happen, even if it was just one of his routine visits. The people he spoke with — if he approached the wrong one, it would be so easy for them to lash out. Scott was a big man, he could take care of himself, but that didn’t stop your fears from pressing down against you.
His hand is firm on your thigh, thumb stroking soft lines in your skin as he catches your expression. And then his truck takes a turn in the opposite direction of your apartment, heading toward his house.
“Where are we going?” you ask, your voice tinged with confusion as you try to shake off your emotions.
Scott’s grip on the steering wheel tightens just a fraction, his eyes fixed on the road ahead. “My place,” he answers simply. “You’ve been up all night, and I’m not about to drop you off and leave you alone like that.”
You frown, the earlier emotions fighting to come back; you glance quickly out the window, cheeks flaming as you’re caught, hating that he’d noticed your weakness. “I’m fine, Scott. I can—”
“No,” he cuts in gently, but firmly. “You need rest. And I’ll rest better knowing you’re somewhere comfortable.” His eyes flick toward you, catching your reflection in the dim light of the street lamps. “Besides,” he adds, his voice lowering to something more intimate, “I’ve got a bed that’s been missing you.”
It’s not a request, and the way he says it makes your heart skip. You know he’s right. As much as you’d wanted to protest, the thought of sleeping alone in your own bed feels wrong, especially with the lingering warmth of his touch still buzzing under your skin.
By the time you pull into his driveway, the familiar sight of his place is almost a comfort in itself. Scott’s fingers brush over your thigh before he parks the truck, a silent reassurance. “I’ll be gone for a few days,” he murmurs, shutting off the engine, “but I want you here. I want you safe.”
The words hang in the air between you, heavy with a meaning he’s too stubborn to say out loud, but you feel it all the same. He reaches over to tuck a loose strand of hair behind your ear, his thumb lingering on your cheek. “Let me make sure you’re okay.”
You nod, unable to find the words, so you just lean into his touch. Scott doesn’t need more than that. He’s out of the truck and rounding it to your side before you can even blink, opening your door and offering his hand.
“Come on, let’s get you inside,” he says softly, tugging you out and pulling you close against him. His arm slips around your waist as he guides you to the front door, his hold steady and reassuring.
Once inside, the warmth of his home envelops you both, and you feel the tension in your shoulders start to melt away. He’s quick to guide you to his bedroom, knowing the layout of his place better than anyone, but still taking the time to make sure you’re comfortable, handing you one of his shirts to sleep in.
As you slip under the covers, Scott pauses at the edge of the bed, eyes lingering on you. “Get some sleep,” he tells you, his voice gruff but tinged with affection. “I’ll be here when you wake up.”
You reach for him, and he doesn’t hesitate to slide in beside you, pulling you against his chest. For a moment, you both just lie there, the steady rhythm of his heartbeat beneath your ear soothing you into a drowsy haze. Scott presses a kiss to the top of your head, his hand resting protectively over your hip.
“Sleep, honey,” he murmurs, his voice the last thing you hear before sleep claims you.
In the morning, you wake to the sound of his alarm, the room still dark. Scott’s already dressed, but he hasn’t left yet. He sits on the edge of the bed, watching you with a softness in his eyes that he rarely lets show. He reaches out, brushing his fingers through your hair as you try to rustle yourself awake.
“Go back to sleep,” he says quietly, his thumb grazing your cheek. “I’ll be back in a few days. Promise.”
Before you can respond, he leans down, pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead, lingering just long enough for you to feel the warmth of his lips. You smile, eyes fluttering shut as you drift back into a peaceful slumber, the last thing you feel is the comforting weight of his hand slipping from yours.
When you finally rise, well rested but achey from the night’s exertions, the sun is high in the afternoon sky and his house is empty, his truck missing from the garage. You wander into the kitchen in search of a cup of tea, pulling the kettle out from underneath his cabinet. And when the steaming mug is in your hands, settling into the breakfast nook that overlooks his backyard, your eyes fall upon his jacket, folded neatly atop all the stuff he’d unpacked while you were sleeping.
And you know he loves you as much as you love him.
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blckbrrybasket · 1 month
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Rafe with reader who stays away from hard drugs
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People snorting cocaine at these parties always shocked you. It wasn’t so much that it was a hard drug, but more so the money that went into it. No drug was cheap that was for sure. Cocaine, though, was the drug for rich kids.
Being a pogue, you hadn’t tried it. You had no desire to. You saw what hard drugs did to your mom. Unlike coke, basically anyone with a spare room and a strong will could make meth out on the cut. At least your mom could. You didn’t mind seeing people do drugs, but you always held yourself back.
Rafe noticed it pretty easily. His first assumption was the price which is why he slyly told you one night that you could get a bump for free for being his. You still didn’t budge, politely declining and making an excuse. After some time Rafe dropped the subject becoming a bit more aware to your aversion to it.
Most people didn’t give a shit until Topper made a big deal about it.
“Yo..aren’t you gonna have any?” He sent you a inebriated smile and you resisted scrunching your nose up at him. “Nah, I’m good.” Rafe slid an arm around your waist, resting his chin on your shoulder. “Leave them alone Top, it’s good.” Topper rolled his eyes at Rafe’s automatically stern tone. “I was just asking, shit. If they want to be a pussy they can. Not my business.”
Topper shrugged with a smirk and turned back to the line in front of him. Your stomach dropped at the comment, Rafe’s eyes narrowing. “Yo, what the fuck?” “What, bro?” Topper shot back. The few seconds of their argument gave you enough time to leave Rafe’s lap and storm towards the door.
It was obvious that Rafe was following you. You acted like you couldn’t hear his voice calling after you in the crowd. His long legs made it easy for him to catch up to you though, hand sliding around your elbow to pull you towards him. “Babe.”
“It’s fine.” You started, already trying to cover up what happened. “No. No, it’s not. What’s going on? Talk to me.” Rafe was worried. His eyes were wide with unspoken fear that you’d be mad at him.
“It’s stupid.” You crossed your arms over your chest. Rafe shook his head, “Nothing bothering you is stupid. Please, talk to me.” Sighing, you dropped your arms and grabbed his hand to pull him outside.
He understood the need for privacy, but was surprised nonetheless. Finally after a minute the two of you stopped by the side of the yard, far enough away from prying eyes. At your groan Rafe’s eyebrows rose, unsure what to do.
You covered your face, sighing into your hands. “When you…” Your words were quiet and unsure before you started again. “When you do drugs, it’s fine. I mean…it isn’t for your body, but it’s fun. Every kook our age does drugs, but when my mom does it, it makes her a methhead.”
“The assumption isn’t wrong, but it’s different for us on the cut. The drugs our parents did ruined us.” Rafe’s eyes revealed his realization. You had never mentioned it, but he had never asked. He should have asked. He felt like such an asshole.
“I’m sorry,” he rasped. Your eyes snapped up to him. Rafe rarely apologizes without being told the problem, but now it wasn’t his fault. “For what? You didn’t do anything wrong.” “No, I did. I put you in that situation. I put you around drugs…fuck.”
The way you looked at the coke he did made sense now, like you had a personal vendetta against the powder. How many times had you been uncomfortable while he dealed with you on his lap? “I’m sorry.” He reaffirmed, hands cupping your face. “I don’t care what bullshit you say, I put you in that..and I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay,” was all you could think to whisper back to him. “It’s okay.” This time it was firmer, Rafe’s earlier expression of ease slowly making its way back onto his face. “Now let’s get out of here.”
“What?” You laughed in disbelief. Rafe shrugged, arms scooping you up to swing you over his shoulder, “Parties’ boring anyways.” You laughed, clutching onto his shoulders. “By the way, don’t hurt Topper too much.”
Rafe chuckled knowing you knew him too well. “Don’t know what you mean,” he lied.
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ajortga · 2 months
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affection deprived
pairing: jenna ortega x fem reader
authors note: i do not like this but hopefully you do, please send more requests
word count: 1.5k+
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based off this request!
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where r asks emma to hold jenna's hand to see if she notices and the second emma held jennas hand she immediately knew it wasnt r's hand
-🥝
It was another filming day. You come in at least 4 times a week, rather if it’s to run a scene over, hair and makeup, a chemistry read or checking on costumes. 
As you get on set, you grab a coffee (that always manages to go untouched and goes cold) while playing a thumb war with your best friend, Emma Myers.
“Do they have strawberries today?” You ask while having your tongue slightly stuck out in concentration. “I don’t know where they get them from, but they’re always so perfectly sweet.”
Emma giggles, trapping your thumb as you squeal. “Gotcha! 1..2.. I think they do, I saw watermelons too if I remember correctly. 3… 4..”
You giggle, huffing when she wins the match. “At least those will make my day. Hey, your hands are so soft.” You begin playing with her hands, admiring how squishy they are.
“Thanks, babycakes,” the blonde jokes, holding your hand as you both swing back and forth while walking through set.
If anything, holding hands makes you think of Jenna. You haven’t been cuddly with her at the moment. You think it’s because she’s so caught up in work and how you always seem to hold her hand, that she doesn’t notice when you’re not. It’s like everywhere you go she automatically thinks her hands are intertwined with your warm ones.
“Hey, Emma. I wanted to ask you something,” you say, glancing into the distance as you see your girlfriend unaware of your presence far away, talking to one of the directors.
“What is it? You need me to help you with something?”
You nod, tearing your eyes away from the ones that weren’t looking at you to the ones that were. “You think you could help me out in trying to cast some spell on Jenna to make her realize that I miss her touches?”
“Oh yes.” The blonde says, making a small ‘pshhhh’ sound as she takes out her invisible wand. “Jenna Marie Ortega, I command you to snap out of your acting character and recognize your girlfriend’s needs!” She says, swaying up and down.
Your eyes roll, watching her be silly and take the opportunity to snap a photo. “Uh huh. I don’t know.. Okay. Jenna and I used to do this thing where I’d sneak under the table and cling onto her hand. It’s just been something that we’ve done ever since.”
In your relationship, you were the sucker for the people who knew you inside and out. Jenna was just that person. She’d rub your knuckles gently in a circle with her thumb whenever you grew nervous, always came home from her other film projects with something you’d like. 
Obviously she still does, you’ve just been feeling like you’ve had the lack of affection. “Which makes you grumpy,” Emma would say. You would sulk before filming a scene and Jenna would’ve noticed if hadn’t a distraction popped up. It was almost like you could see the small puzzles in her head would begin to turn then be interrupted. 
“So.. How is me holding your girlfriend’s hand going to do anything?”
“Hopefully it makes her notice how AFFECTION DEPRIVED I AM!” You almost yell. If she really thought Emma’s hand was really yours, you think you’d break up with her. (You would never be the one to break up first.)
-
It was Friday night. Some would say it was the night to party all night long. 
They were true.
Almost every Friday the Wednesday cast would gather at someone’s house, preferably Georgie’s because he had a trampoline and some dope snacks. You didn’t want to admit that when you and Jenna first saw how many good snacks he had, you slammed them into your bag. Jenna brought an extra tote bag smashed under the things in her backpack to push all the snacks in there the next time you went to Georgie’s house.
You stare down at your hand, chatter filling the room as everyone talks while eating. You wonder if it’s any special. You’re not sure why it matters so much to you. It's just like every other hand, right?
No one knows you better than Jenna, maybe you should just be straightforward with her and the lack of affection you’ve been feeling lately. 
“Ems?” You holler, looking around. You find her on the couch across from your girlfriend, in a deep conversation with each other.
And when Jenna turns to you with those sweet brown eyes, you feel like the happy giddy feeling in your chest. The feeling that lingered when you had a silly, puppy loved crush on the girl for the first time. You were a bundle of nerves, squeaking whenever you talked to her, cheeks flushing easily. 
And she was yours. Except that feeling just popped up again. Your eyes dart the room, opening your mouth to say something, then shutting it. Instead, you give an awkward wave and run out.
Jenna gave you a smile, eyebrows furrowing as she watched you dash out.
“I think my baby is scared of me.”
Emma rolls her eyes, looking at you go, “An affection deprived baby.”
-
“Okay Agent Double Two x Five thousand and Sixty Two, it’s time.” You whisper, you and the blonde eyeing the target in front of you.
Like two partners in crime.
“Roger that.”
Emma crawls under the table and you almost break your facade, a silly smile threatening to plaster on your lips as you see her bump her head on accident. You can see Jenna, talking to Hunter as she brings her drink to her lips. 
You look away, looking down at Emma’s current journey.
As she keeps talking, Emma counts the hands to be able to reach the right one. She approaches the brunette, where her hands are against her lap, and lightly taps it. A stupid grin forms on your face when you see your girlfriend’s face contort into confusion.
Jenna processes what’s going on as her hands roam around. She lightly catches the hand and feels it. Assuming it was you, she intertwined her hand with yours.
It doesn’t take 10 seconds before she feels like something is out of place. The hand is soft, but it’s too soft. Yours is just the perfect amount of soft. She rubs her thumb over the person’s knuckles and the pattern isn’t familiar.
She immediately tugs her hand away and looks under the table to see a goofy Emma Myers looking back.
“Emma? What the hell are you doing under there?”
“I was actually looking for my ball that I dropped.” Emma backs herself up, shoving her hand into her pocket and bringing up a neon green ball with a smiley face. “Oh wow! It was here all along! Thanks!” 
The blonde crawls out as the other girl blinks and watches her walk off. Something about realizing it wasn’t you made Jenna feel disappointed. She hasn’t held your hand whenever you nudged it while walking down the streets together. She’d brush it off thinking that you did it by accident. 
The events of the endless hours of filming caught up to her, she had been neglecting you with her lack of affection. All the signs were in front of her, yet she didn’t notice.
She excuses herself and looks around for you, peeking her head into the living room to see you scrolling through your phone.
“Hey, cutie. I missed you.” The brunette says softly, catching your attention as she squeezes next to you. You don’t respond, making grabby arms. She almost feels how twitchy you are as you cling onto her, her fingers thread through your hair, hoping she can make you feel a little better.
Your hands touch something soft and you feel hers nudging into yours. The perfect amount of softness. She didn’t realize how much she missed your touch until you’re curled up to her like a koala.
“I’m sorry I’ve been neglecting your affection needs. I just feel like filming messes with my surroundings. I would never do it on purpose, okay?”
God you missed her. You missed her cuddles. You missed her hugs. You missed-
“Y/N.”
“You swear?”
“I’ll swear on.. I don’t know!”
She wraps her arms around you tightly, lifting you up on her lap as she presses her lips to your cheek. "I want you to tell me whenever you feel this way, okay? I can’t survive knowing that I let you feel a certain way you don’t like and I don’t even notice.”
“Okay. I will, I’m sorry. I didn’t want you to think that I’m too affectionate.”
“Never.”
A small grin comes upon your lips, “Now can you teach me how to distinguish people’s hands?”
For the rest of the night, Jenna lets her scent comfort you, your hand laced in hers for almost the rest of the party. When you see Emma, you give her a goofy smile and a thumbs up. She grins and does a two finger salute.
Let’s just say that all the days after, you were woken up with kisses and hugs, and definitely a bit too spoiled on set with a showered affectionate girlfriend. She even tied your shoes. Maybe it was too much, but you didn’t want anything less. Too much made you feel like the happiest girl in the world.
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uno-san · 1 month
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Hiii! Could I rq reader who was Fords gf/so before he left and when he comes back he’s happy bc he realizes reader stayed in Gravity Falls the whole time and maybe even helped Stan fix the portal!
But then Bill comes and it’s totally up to u whether to make Bill like super jealous of reader or become just as obsessed with reader as he is with Ford idk.
Thank u!
Hello! Thanks so much for sending in a request. This is the first thing I've written in FOREVER, so I miiiiight have gotten carried away. Hope you and everybody else enjoys!
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It always reminded you of the night sky. 
That, or what lied far beyond it. Beyond you, maybe. But never Stanford Pines. Who, in this very moment stood several yards from where you yourself were. The both of you had that strange, not-quite night sky wrapped around your forms. Yet instead of the endless expanse that space was known for, various journals, textbooks, and equations littered that space around you.
It would have been a marvelous sight if you didn’t know the purpose behind this all-too tailored world for Stanford. A trap meant to make him feel seen and applauded in ways you couldn’t quite match. A place for them to meet.
Beside Stanford was another figure. A three-sided one to be exact who had taken place near his shoulder, where he had been far longer than you could have ever known. But here he didn’t need to whisper his lies. Here, the two of them could simply converse and enjoy each other’s company. A wonderful plan to make Stanford feel known while also shutting you out from the light altogether.
Their laughter was uproarious.
“AHAHAHAHA! COME ON, SIXER, YOU DON’T MEAN THAT!”
A shrill voice cut through your observations. The devilish figure that it belonged to had placed his hands over his chest, or stomach, as if he were trying and failing to hold in his joy. His one eye was closed and curved to show a smile that his body didn’t have the means to actually do. His tie meanwhile spun in circles as if a toy had been wound up.
‘Sixer’ had his eyes lowered to the platform of which he stood. Tucked under his arm was one of his prized journals, where each of his six fingers drummed against its spine. He looked bashful under interrogation.
“What, not quite the term your ego would prefer, Bill?” Stanford finally shot back, his gaze raising to meet Bill’s while his eyebrow raised to pose a challenge.
“NOT AT ALL!” 
The demon began to circle around Stanford, who’s whole body began to turn with a determination not to break eye contact again. As if he were afraid of losing sight of Bill. Or his attention. Seeing it reminded you of a puppy enamored with its owner. Its everything, really. You had been familiar with it at some point yourself. What felt like ages ago now.
“JUST SURPRISED, IS ALL. I MEAN, AAAAAAAAALL I’VE DONE IS EXPAND YOUR MIND TO THE UNIVERSE OUTSIDE YOUR PUNY WORLD, SHOW YOU NEW COLORS, AND GIVE YOU THE PERFECT COMEBACKS EVERY TIME YOU GET INTO AN ARGUMENT,” He humbly bragged, “BUT IS THAT ALL REALLY WORTH IT TO BE CALLED YOUR-”
MUSE.
Muse.
Muse.
Muse. Muse. Muse. Muse. Muse. Muse. Muse. Muse. Muse. Muse.
That damn word was going to be imprinted on your brain with how often it was quite literally repeating. Out Loud. High-pitched and nearly shattering your ear drums, a physical manifestation of the word appeared in the space to hurl itself in your direction; A move you’ve seen one too many times. You nimbly dodged off to the side without losing your footing like you had the first time this occurred. With both your feet planted firmly on the ground you whipped your head around to catch the end of the show.
The scene had frozen. Stanford’s expression was stuck in a form of denial, his cheeks tinted a rosy color that you used to make them turn. His brow was furrowed as if he were concerned. Or desperate to assure Bill that he truly was worth it all. Bill meanwhile had his arms folded behind his back while his half-lidded eye bore down on its prey like a benevolent mentor.
Bill’s pupil slowly slid in your direction.
“A BENEVOLENT MUSE, YOU MEAN.”
Bill Cipher became animated again. This time he no longer addressed the version of Stanford standing before him. His smug attention was all focused on you now. His small frame managed to tower over you in mere presence alone, even at the distance you two stood at.
Arms folded behind his back, there was a silence that followed while Bill inspected you. Perhaps waiting for you to give a response before he settled on his own. He feigned surprise.
“DIDN’T EXPECT TO CATCH YOU HERE. SIXER AND I WERE JUST HAVING A MOMENT ALONE,” Bill emphasized, his arm outstretching far past its supposed physical limit to wrap itself around Stanford’s still frame, “YOU KNOW, LIKE WE’VE BEEN HAVING FOR A WHILE. BEHIND YOUR BACK. IN FACT HE WAS JUST ABOUT TO GET TO COMPLIMENTING ME. SINCE I’M HIS MUSE. HIS SKY. STARS. WHATEVER.”
Muse.
Another manifestation hurled its way in your direction. You weren’t nearly as prepared and the edges of the word were sharp, slicing into your arm to draw what you assumed to be blood. With a wince you had to steady your balance before your glare shot back to the bastard in front of you.
He was a menace who you hadn’t realized you had been in competition with for years. And now, in a pissing contest with as the man you’re both fighting over like teenagers was lost in worlds unknown. The man you had loved and had been prepared to marry was gone now. Leaving you with his unfaithful ‘Muse’.
Oh, how you’ve come to hate the word.
It happened first when you had learned of the existence of an other-worldly being that had been secretly leading Stanford’s ambitions. Second was when you had discovered Ford’s hidden collection of idols and paintings. All squirreled away in a private chamber of his own viewing pleasure. That had been manageable.
But the fondness in his gaze when discussing their meetings made your heart ache. How he’d talk as if Bill Cipher was the sole purpose of everything now. His reason for continuing his research or facing adversity for his talents. Or the way he’d pause in the middle of a task to instead laugh at a memory of Bill from earlier, with his hands looking to busy themselves as a distraction.
All of that had hurt. But what made you hate the word most of all was its constant use to torture you. That the moment Bill had sensed your distaste for the term he had done nothing but plague your mind with it. Shoving it in your face as if he was a secret side woman in some stately affair.
Thus far this has been your nightly routine for several months now. Ever since Stanford Pines went missing from this world and so many others. With his brother, Stanley, being left behind with you to pick up the pieces to get back your lost loved one. And for some reason or other, Bill had set his sights on tormenting you.
Every night. Different visions of their bonded moments played in your mind while Bill sneered and poked fun at you for being fool enough to never notice the signs of your man slipping away. You never knew if what he showed you was true. You hoped not.
“THEY’RE REAL.”
You ignore him a moment to get back on two feet. Standing tall before him.
“Do you plan on taking me through your ‘Greatest Hits’ every night or are you going to fuck off already?” The venom in your tone caused interest to gleam in his eye. Most nights you try not to dignify his taunts with a response. But you were tired. Both mentally and physically thanks to late nights with Stanley to try to get the portal running again, or your lonely crying sessions blaming yourself for letting this go on for so long. You were exhausted.
“AW, DIDN’T THINK YOU’D GET SO CRANKY OVER A LITTLE FUN FORDSY AND I WERE HAVING! I’M SURE IT’S EASY TO GET INSECURE OVER THE IDEA OF YOUR MAN GETTING THE CHANCE TO VISIT A SUPERIOR BEING EVERY NIGHT BUT HE MENTIONED YOU ONCE OR TWICE. Y’KNOW, ABOUT HOW YOU’RE ‘SAFE’ AND ‘STABLE’.”
You knew he was just trying to get a rise out of you. Perhaps even deter you from working on that portal any further, ensuring that Stanford would remain lost to mystery forevermore. “Say what you want Bill but I know him better than what your mind creeping could ever do. You miscalculated by seeing only the parts that benefited you and that’s going to end up biting you in the ass. Because it doesn’t matter what you and Stanford had before. Whatever was there is GONE, and I know that Stanford will be coming to end you too.”
It was difficult to keep your voice steady to feign the confidence that you hadn’t had in a long time. You stood bravely in the face of Bill, who’s form only grew in size while you charged up your own argument. He was nearly towering over you now while his gaze remained steady on you. His expression was unreadable.
“WELL WELL WELL, I-”
He’s yapped for far too long.
“Maybe that’s the point to all of this,” You gestured to the spectacle put on pause, “You realize you fucked up. Pushed too hard. Or maybe you’re not even playing this for me. You’re just trying to convince yourself that Ford is still in the palm of your hand when in reality, he despises you. Wants you dead. That despite all the compliments and praises you keep showing me he still picked me over you.”
You weren’t sure if any of this was going to strike a chord. Especially with being in the dark as long as you had, there was nothing for you to fight with. The best you could do was treat him like the vindictive affair partner he was pretending to be. And it worked. Or it was the hint of a suggestion you made in saying you were chosen over him.
Bill’s form skyrocketed in size from its already heightened form, with the triangle now bending over you now to force you to nearly tilt your head all the way back just to make eye contact. His pupil was entirely black to reflect your new surroundings as the static image of Ford and their place of contact was suddenly whisked away. What used to be a bright yellow turned to blood-red bricks that you swore you could feel heat coming off of.
“STANFORD PINES FEARS ME,” Bill’s voice boomed, “AND THAT’S EXACTLY WHERE I WANT HIM. THINKING OF ME AND CHASING AFTER MY COATTAILS UNTIL THAT NERD COMES TO REASON. AND UNTIL THEN YOU-”
His fingers snapped. The ground beneath you disappeared and you felt weightlessness hit as you began to descend into a dark pit. “YOU WILL NEVER SEE HIM AGAIN!”
The vision of the gigantic demon began to fade away. His voice still boomed and echoed despite the void that they were shouted into. As your conscience begins to fade into its own form of nothing you close your eyes to instead repeat his words to yourself.
Never see him again.
__
The Mystery Shack above you groaned with disapproval. Its wood and structure creaked as it finally settled back on the ground, thankfully still supported by its own weight once gravity returned to normal. You were face first on the ground with your head still spinning from that hasty landing you made to resist any damage. With just one peek of an eye you could see that your vision was still hazy. Only a sickeningly familiar blue light kept the basement of the Shack from being in total darkness.
Darkened figures up ahead began to move. When you tried to join them you were quick to discover that your leg caught in debris. A quick examination told you that it wasn’t anything dangerous like active machinery, and the small tugs you gave to test your aching body showed that nothing was quite broken. Hurt, yes, but all intact.
Just like the house you could feel your bones settling back into place while creaking with resentment. You could only imagine how Stanley must have been feeling. Propping yourself up with one arm you then used your freehand to begin pulling away at the rubble on top of you, trying to carefully dismantle it piece by piece so that it wouldn’t collapse on top of you.
Having been so focused on your escape you had only caught the tail-end of what Stanley was telling dipper.
“The author of the Journals…”
Your head whipped around so fast it could have snapped, “My brother.”
As if on cue a figure cladded in a black cloak removed his mask with a six fingered hand, his silver hair whipping around him as he slowly revealed a face you thought you could have anticipated after having aged years with Stanley. The fact that they were twins did little to stop you from tearing up at the handsome visage that was your Stanford Pines.
The wrinkles in his face had deepened from the last you saw him. He was still chiseled with a hint of facial hair he might have shaved off recently while his posture and expression gave off a confidence you weren’t familiar with.
Stanley began to approach him with open arms, prepared to greet the brother he’s missed for years for longer than yours. Stanford didn’t match his sentiments. Instead his fist drew back to strike Stan who had flinched out of the way- But not before Stanford’s fist froze. Left hanging in the air as something else caught his attention. Past Stanley and Dipper. Through various piles of cement and broken wood.
You.
Neither of you moved. His eyes flickered back and forth in a manner that suggested he was examining you all the same. Taking in every detail of your graying form, of each new wrinkle that has marked your age like a tree. The intensity of his gaze made your heart stall for more reasons you could count.
Was that disappointment in his gaze? Or worse, indifference? The world had already been cruel in tearing you apart in the first place. How easy would it be to have Stanford simply forget you? To have moved on to grander and exciting things since his time away. After all, Bill Cipher had enticed him once before. YOU nearly lost him once before. Who’s to say you haven’t wasted your years chasing after a man who could no longer remember your face?
Tears began to gather. They soothed the sting of debris in the air to instead replace it with a dull ache in your heart. At this point you could have been crying over any number of things. You tried calling out his name but the words caught in your throat.
He shouted yours instead. Pushing passed his stunned brother and great nephew to run in your direction. Just as Stanford was a few feet away he suddenly dropped to his knees to slide the remaining distance. It was a physical endeavor you envied in this moment.
Already Stanford’s arms wrapped around your form, drawing you in close to his chest while he buried his face into your hair. You didn’t dare utter a sound of discomfort. Swallowing your tears you chose to focus on his warmth rather than the pain your body was in. How much studier his arms felt from the last time you were held in them, however long ago that was.
“M…My dear…” Stanford gasped, as if the term of endearment hadn’t been uttered in history before. His six fingers nearly dug into your body with his tight grasp. He pressed a kiss to the top of your head, “This…This is real. Bill isn’t lying again. You’re here. You.”
From the corner of your vision you could see both Soos and Mabel staring in wonder. Their mouths were left hanging open while they slowly turned to each other to clasp hands together. Mabel began to mouth ‘they have a histooooory!!’
You opted to turn your face into Stanford’s chest to ignore all that as long as you could.
“All these years I’ve waited here for you, Stanford. Every year was spent fixing the portal, I-” Your eyes wandered to his twin, “-We’ve been fixing the portal. Stan and I together decided we weren’t going to stop until you were home safe.”
Stanford drew in a breath. The tension that coiled his posture was a familiar sign of his frustrations being withheld, and with the copious warnings in his Journals to not open the portal again you had a fairly safe guess as to what that tension was. Stanford managed to swallow it down as his hand cupped your cheek and directed your eyes to his.
The years have really gone by. For the both of you, you realized as you gazed into weary and worldly eyes. Did he see the same thing in you? Or has it occurred to him just how truly long it's been since the two of you were close like this. Since way before he was lost in the first place. To where Bill’s schemes began to put the first cracks in the foundations of your relationship.
From the distance the portal still glowed a blue hue, flickering every few moments as the machine began to lose its life at long last for what you pray is the last time. Both of you were left illuminated with blue. The beautiful sight of Stanford had been imprinted on your mind, nearly washing away the years of trauma the color had come to be associated with.
You could have sworn Stanford’s eyes were brimming with tears as well before they closed, the distance between you two gone as he leaned down to capture your quivering lips in a kiss. With it came the relief of a thirty-year grief. Not of a healed relationship but of a path to recovery and trust. You nearly grinned into the kiss. Stanford Pines chose you.
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joelsmochi · 8 days
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outside? no problem. - joel miller
rating: E 18+ pairing: joel x pornstar!reader summary: part four; after convincing joel to go on a journey within nature with you, you quickly realize that a long hike won't be enough to wear you out. warnings: porn with a little bit of plot, slightly proofread (expect errors), joel is a llittle nervous, some anxiety, unprotected sex, premature ejaculation without orgasm (look it up it's hot), use of daddy, creampie, public sex + risk of getting caught, joel experiencing love and affection!!!!!!, reader gets her first official hate comment (plus a couple horny ones just cus lol) wc: 2.5k my thoughts: this was a very random thought i had, but it's fun and nothing too serious. also i hate the title but oh well 🥲 part five will dive into emotions a little more than i have allowed for this series, but for now enjoy the smut lovelies <3
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“How many miles so far?” You asked Joel, who shot you a quick glance before returning his attention to the trail ahead of him.
“So far eight,” he replied. “We really need’a do this today?”
“Oh, you mean after you came up with excuse after excuse the past three weeks? Yeah, we needed to do it today,” you sassed before steadying the camera to focus on the trees ahead.
“Can we take a break? My knees are killin’ me—“
He was cut off by your giggling and you managed to zoom in on the glare he was giving you.
“What?” He firmly asked, halting his progression forward.
“Old man,” you teased as you passed him.
A stinging sensation quickly seared across your right ass cheek causing you to jolt from the smack Joel planted there.
You yelped, laughing as you back away from him; he managed to snatch the camera out of your hands and pointed it at you as you tried to rub away the pain. Your shorts was unbearably wedged into your ass showing off more than enough of your butt, waistband folded down to expose more of your body than necessary.
“Smartass,” he grumbled. “You turn fifty fucking years old and tell me how your knees hold up after eight miles.”
You grinned, walking over to him and smacking his chest playfully. “My knees will feel fucking amazing because they’re used to a little traction.”
He chuckled, petting the side of your head endearingly, eyes softening as they examined your features. “I’ll just have to take your word for that then, huh?”
“You’ll have to take a lot from me,” you mumbled against his lips before closing the space between your two.
His tongue immersed itself into the world of your mouth, cherished the cool, wet slick cheeks, the grooves of your teeth, that serpent tongue of yours — he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t high on you 24/7 starting two weeks prior, when his brother paid you a visit.
You’d been making it up to him even though he continuously assured you there was nothing to make up for.
But he most certainly was not going to complain.
Suddenly, everything you did was just that much better to him, and not just during sex. He wanted to give you more than what you’d initially agreed upon. Love. A life. He didn’t just want you to be satisfied, he wanted you to be happy.
And he memorized every centimeter of your body, how it felt, how you reacted to his every move.
Every time his tongue slid across the top of yours he could feel your eyebrows furrow a little more.
Every time you deepened your grasp on his jaw or shirt, you wanted him to open his mouth a little more so you could reach further into him. To somehow be even closer to him.
And every time he moaned pleasure into your mouth your body melted a little more into his, and your lips curled into a smile.
It wasn’t until you’d heard footsteps nearby that you finally broke the kiss.
“Two more miles,” you whispered against his lips, giving him one final peck before continuing the hike.
He rubbed in the cherry chapstick you left on his heated lips and watched you walk away for a moment before following.
“We just reached ten miles,” you said to the camera that Joel smugly forced into your face, “and I’m so fucking— tired— why the fuck are the last two miles entirely uphill?!”
“Yeah, how those knees working now?”
“My knees are fine, fuck you very much,” you expressed between deep pants. “And I’ll prove it.”
“What about the ten miles back?” He said gleefully, nearly bursting with excitement at your breathless suffering.
“Oh,” you chirped, “old man afraid of some sex in the woods?”
“Wh—HERE?!”
“Not here. Maybeeee… There.”
“We’re not having sex in the woods—“
“Old man!” You shouted after you ran away into the trees.
“Fuck,” Joel breathed out before walking in the general direction of your disappearance.
After five minutes (which felt more like a half hour) of not being able to find you he began thinking the worst.
His palm became clammy, heart beating so fast it felt like punches, but the relief he felt as soon as he spotted you was well worth the worry.
Joel’s eyes scanned over your body, spotting a familiar pair of shorts and panties lying on the ground nearby.
His face didn’t change from the looks of anger however. You offered a bashful smile before settling your knees into the leaves and twigs on the woodland floor, sweatshirt covering the sweetest part of you.
“Don’t do that again,” he scolded, even going as far as to point a finger down at you.
“I’m sorry, daddy,” you replied, gently pressing a kiss to the heel of his palm. “I thought you were right behind me.”
“We’re not doing this. Not here.”
“But the camera’s already rolling… Be a shame to turn it off now.”
Watching you bat your eyes up at him while toying with the drawstring on his shorts was more than enough to get him to fold, but he was still hesitant. It was such an open and public space. Anyone could stumble into the woods and catch you two in the act.
Anyone could catch you…
“Make it quick,” he huffed.
You giggled happily, yanking his shorts to his ankles and allowing his semi-hard cock to spring free.
You hummed, giving his balls a gentle squeeze and tug while stroking his velvety shaft.
“Kiss it,” he said. “Yeah, that’s it babygirl… O-oh, fuck.”
Your tongue darted out to trail along the pulsating vein on the side of his dick, until you reached the bead of precum nestled on the tip of his head.
You pulled your head back, forcing Joel to watching the string of his precum stretch from him to you.
The last thing he expected was sex in the woods, but now that your were on your knees sucking him dry with a camera being held a few inches away it suddenly made sense why you insisted on recording.
Wanna make memories my ass, he thought, blissfully so as you were giving him full access to your tight throat.
“Hold it, hold— fuck. Right there, baby.”
He whimpered as you swallowed around him, big hand reaching to stroke and rub the side of your face, wiping away a few stray tears.
You pulled your head back enough to take a few breaths before repeating the act of deepthroating, going as hard and fast as you could handle for a while before forcing him all the way back in again.
Your cunt clenched around nothing, juices trickling down your thighs as your knees slowly buckled from the pain of twigs digging into your flesh.
He suddenly pulled out of your mouth, seemingly panicked with the rush of an orgasm, shouting, “Ohshitohshitohshit.”
You coughed, attempting to reach for his cock again but he stopped you.
“Fuuuuuck!” He finally moaned as two long, thick ropes of his cum shot onto your face and hair.
You grinned and grabbed a hold to stroke him, hoping for more to come out.
He let out a strained groan, relaxing his abdomen and letting the remaining cum leak out of his tip onto your tongue and the ground.
“Already?” You asked softly while you gave his hard shaft kisses and licks.
“That,” he hissed, “was buildup from you teasing me all day.”
He stepped out of his shorts and sat on top of them, pulling you into his lap.
“Ah!” You laughed. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Those shorts were deeper in your ass than I was last night,” he retorted.
“Mmm, that’s not teasing,” you whispered, pumping his length slowly. “That’s giving you a preview.”
He tugged at your jaw hard, pinching your cheeks, using his index finger to smear the white streaks that were on your face.
“Time for the show then, hmm?” He hummed.
You did your best to smile, nodding against his strong hand.
“That’s right, daddy,” you answered compliantly.
He was patient while you got yourself situated, ass facing him, wet pussy grinding against his pelvis.
Joel tugged at your left cheek to spread you for the video, watching your holes pucker and clench eagerly as you teased yourself before finally sinking down onto his warm cock.
A long drawn out moan left your mouth as he stretched you out. Joel smacked the red bruise he left on you earlier and pinched the same spot right after, forcing you to yelp and stumble in the squatting position you were already struggling to maintain.
You reached back to smack his stomach but he only laughed, sitting up a little to give himself a better view.
He held the camera out enough to get the two of you in the frame as you started bouncing on top of him.
He threw his head back, certain he wouldn’t last long enough to for you to get off.
He’d just have to make it up to you.
Because your pussy swallowed him perfectly, the slight curve of his dick hitting the spot he knew was your favorite.
Your ass clapping against the soft peak of his belly was surely loud enough to echo within the trees, and a mixture footsteps and laughter could be heard not far away enough to give Joel the sense of security he usually required.
No doubt people passing by without headphones in their ears could hear your annoyingly high pitched moans, or the obnoxious clapping of skin to skin as you rode the older man relentlessly.
Joel’s free hand found your clit and he shove the camera between his legs for both a close up shot of you soaking his cock with your juices.
Joel tried to think about something, anything to stop the threat of cumming too soon, but all he could focus on was how deep your pussy felt, and how it was all his.
“This pussy belong t’me?” He growled beneath you, smacking your sensitive clit when you didn’t give him an answer.
“Yes, daddy! Yesyes—fuuuck!” You shouted, head bobbing as you bounced even higher and harder.
He gripped your hips hard enough to keep you still before thrusting up into you, forcing your moans to be louder and longer.
You could feel that tingle underneath your clit, the one that threatened to release itself if Joel’s forceful thrusts didn’t stop.
You became clumsy, falling forward and accidentally knocking the camera over, but work was the last thing on your mind.
You begged for Joel to keep going— “Don’t stop please! Don’t fucking stop, Joel!”
“You gonna cum? You gonna soak my cock pretty girl?”
With bent legs and trembling hands you tried to meet his thrusts halfway, forcing him to thrust even deeper into to you.
“I’m gonna—fuck!” You leaned back and used your hand to rub your clit painfully fast, that tingling now releasing itself.
“What? You’re gonna what?!” He encouraged, smacking your thigh to coerce the words out of you even more.
“I’m gonna cum, Jo— I’m gonna fucking…! Cum!”
An uncontrollable gush of liquids flooded between your bodies, the intensity of the orgasm overbearing your body through the gummy walls of your cunt and the small vessel beneath your clit.
You cried out at how overwhelming it all was but  not doing anything to stop it, wanting Joel to feel as much of your orgasm as you could give him.
Your pussy was throbbing, clenching tighter with every throb his cock forced you to endure; you wondered if he had anymore cum left to fill you up with.
As you squirted all over him he found himself on the brink of bliss. His body was planted firmly into the ground by now, letting your juices pool in the curves of his body.
He tried to stop you long enough to film it, but you were so dazed and set on making him finish he couldn’t get more than a strained grunt out before finally cumming inside of your swollen cunt.
His nails indented crescent moons into your waist, cock straining against your walls.
Joel nearly choked from breathlessly moaning your name, back and neck arching off of the cold ground. His eyes were screwed shut from the overstimulation as you eagerly bounced on his cock despite the burning in your joints.
It wasn’t until you finally stopped that Joel felt he could breathe again; his eyes slowly opened, he was immediately greeted with the smile on your face.
“You certainly made a mess,” he chuckled upon noticing the mixture of cream and squirt everywhere.
“You love when it’s messy,” you chirped.
“Mmhm,” he hummed after sitting up slightly.
He opened his mouth to say something else but he hesitated, taking the prolonged silence as a sign to keep his thoughts to himself and opting to just reach for the camera instead.
“Lift slowly— Slower,” he instructed.
You raised your hips up slow, just like he said, feeling that burning stretch one last time until his dick was finally out; you heard him moan and praise you as his cum slowly leaked from your hole down your lips, dripping onto the peak of his belly adding to the mess.
“Look at that,” he groaned, using his fingers to spread your lips. “You’re so fuckin’ amazing.”
Using one hand to spread one of your cheeks you looked back towards him and said, “Leave some in for the hike back.”
He used two of his thick fingers to stuff the little amount of his load back inside of you, biting his lips in an attempt to contain himself when your hips twitched at the delicious burn.
Soon after, you decided it was time to clean up and start the dreadful journey back to the car.
“Your knees gonna hold up, Grandpa?” You teased once you both were back on the trail; you were both unphased of the judgmental looks you received from a couple that was nearby. Even if they didn’t hear anything, your flushed faces and sudden appearance from within the trees was telling enough, but you couldn’t care less as of now.
Neither could he.
“They’re gonna have to,” he replied as he gently tugged your arm so that his lips touched your ear. “I’m gonna need them to bend you over later.”
“Oh, Joel, I will definitely be taking you up on that.”
DILF takes care of me when I get horny on the hike ;)
643K Views  |  96%  |  2 Days Ago  |  ♡ 3,354
Comments
user1 need a slut like that 😍
user2 fuuck this made me so wet
user3 first this bitch lets two brothers fuck her worthless ass at the same time (gross on so many levels) and now she’s fucking in the dirty ass woods ??this slut is disgusting and a waste of oxygen
         ⤷  yourusername if you keep talking dirty to me like that i’m gonna have to fuck your brother in the woods next to relieve myself 
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lockefanfic · 1 month
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City of Light
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The following is Chapter 10 in the Toy series, but it can (mostly) be read on its own. 🙂
15,477 words.
---
Even in the darkness of near-midnight, Paris was still beautiful.
The sparkling lights contrasted sharply against the decades and sometimes centuries-old buildings they illuminated. Even as you flew by them in the hired van, the weight of history was nonetheless impressed upon you by almost every structure you passed on your way to the hotel.
“Beautiful, isn’t it?” Hirai Momo says, softly, as though she were talking to herself. You turn to find her similarly entranced by Paris’ lights, even as they painted her soft features in blue and white.
“It is,” you agree, as you return to watching large, particularly ornate buildings fly by your window.
“Some of these buildings must be centuries old,” she continues, her voice surprising you with its depth and thoughtfulness. “How many people have been inside them? How many stories have started and ended in their walls? Kind of crazy to think about. Feels like history is right there outside this window, passing us by.”
It was the kind of statement you’d expected from one of the more introspective members of Twice, but admittedly not from Momo, whom you’d assumed didn’t really give much thought to things like the histories of cities and the stories of the people within them. When she turns to give you a look she lets a slim smile play across her lips, as though she were proud of herself for having surprised you the way she did.
“What?” she prods.
“Nothing,” you answer, “It’s just…”
“Just that that was something you’d expect one of the other girls to say? One of the… smarter ones? Mina or Jeongyeon or… Chaeyoung?”
You are taken aback by how forward she was being - your conversations with her over the past few months were casual at best, and rare outside of the bedroom. Truth be told, though, she wasn’t too far off from the truth.
“Well, yes,” you admit.
“Figured,” she says. There is the slightest hint of disappointment in her tone as she turns back towards the glittering lights flying by the vehicle. “You’re not the only one that would think so.”
She doesn’t seem open to continuing the conversation, and so you leave her be. You ponder her words in silence for the rest of the trip, feeling suddenly guilty for having assumed so much about the young woman next to you.
---
The check-in process at the hotel was relatively painless, much to your relief. You’d come to realize that many of the high-end hotels the girls regularly stayed in had staff on hand that were fluent in English, saving you from having to rely on your high-school level French and a translator app.
The elevator you occupied with Momo opens its doors on the fifth floor, where your room was located. The company had splurged on a penthouse suite for Momo, as it often did with its performers. Despite this, the hotel as a whole was still one of the higher-end ones in Paris, and you were looking forward to grabbing some room service and much-needed sleep in a fancier room than you were accustomed to.
“The makeup people will be here early,” you say with a sigh as you grab your wheeled luggage and get ready to vacate the elevator. It was well past midnight now, and you both had a long, important day ahead of yourselves with Momo’s appearance at a fashion show. “I can give you a call around six, make sure you’re awake-”
Momo stops you, her hand grasping your forearm while you are halfway out of the elevator.
“You’re the only manager here,” she says, matter-of-factly. “So you’re all mine for this trip, aren’t you?”
You find a smile on her lips, and you quickly return it. You knew what she meant, both with her words and the look that accompanied it.
Truth be told, you had settled more into the managerial side of your “job” in the past month or two, and this week-long trip and Momo’s appearances at two fashion shows, five days apart, was your first time as the sole on-site manager with one of the girls. While you were still on-call for the girls’ more physical needs, you also knew this trip was an opportunity to really make something of yourself at the company beyond just being entertainment for the girls. As such, you found that you were more focused than usual at making sure it went off without a hitch.
But as serious as you were about making sure the trip went smoothly from a corporate point of view, you weren’t one to turn down an invitation, particularly when it was shaped like Hirai Momo.
“Of course, Momo,” you relent, stepping back into the elevator and hitting the button for the top floor.
---
Jetlag was a bitch, though.
Momo had decided to take a shower after you’d both entered the luxurious penthouse suite - and you were powerless to resist the call of the luxurious, expensive-looking couch that dominated the suite’s living area. A short nap while Momo unpacked and undressed, you thought, just a quick rest for your eyes, then you’d get up, sneak into the shower with her and give her the pounding of a lifetime-
The alarm on your smartwatch jerks you awake four hours later.
You wipe the sleep from your eyes as you groggily swing your legs down from the couch. The light emanating from the open bathroom door informed you of Momo’s presence in it, and so you drag yourself from the soft, warm, comforting couch to check on her.
“Have a good nap?” she says, even before you fully enter the ridiculously large bathroom. She shoots you a small smile in the oversized vanity mirror, and you manage to return it despite the sleep still lingering in the corners of your eyes.
The smile lingers on her lips as she watches you for a moment longer before returning her attention to the bathroom counter. Before her are an array of cosmetics that made up her daily skincare routine, and she fiddles with the small plastic containers and vials, apparently searching for something.
“Yeah, I’m sorry,” you admit, rubbing your face with both palms as you lean against the bathroom’s doorframe. “I just can’t get any sleep on planes.” Your first-class seats meant you were admittedly more comfortable than you’d ever been on a flight, but your inability to sleep on planes still resulted in fifteen hours of restlessness. Momo, being well-used to such luxuries, slept like a baby, which explained her high energy levels despite dawn being an hour or so away.
“I even left the bathroom and shower door open,” she admits, smile turning sly even as the elusive cosmetic continues to evade her. “Didn’t think you’d miss the invitation.”
The implication underlying her words stir something in you, and you step into the bathroom, drawing close to her. She smells softly like vanilla, and the sweet scent of her still-damp hair finally shakes the last cobwebs of sleep from your brain.
She loosens the neckline of her white bathrobe slightly to dab something against the soft skin of her neck and upper chest. The generous cleavage she reveals is unmissable in the mirror, still moist from the shower. Rivulets of water stream down her perfect, creamy skin. You reach around her torso, placing a hand softly on the knot of her bathrobe.
“Is this another invitation?”
Her gaze remains locked on herself in the mirror as she continues to dab the small cotton pad against the soft skin of her neck, although the smile curls into a mischievous one. You both linger there for a moment in silence - she must’ve taken pleasure in leaving you in suspense - until she finally decides she’d teased you enough. She places the cotton pad back on the counter, finding your gaze in the reflection of the mirror.
Without breaking your gaze, she undoes the bathrobe’s knot at her waist, pulling its folds apart to reveal her nakedness beneath. Round breasts, toned stomach, long, perfect legs - but it’s her eyes that draw you in. Round, full, somewhere between cute and lustful. Irresistible, either way.
You step close, planting your first soft kiss on the newly revealed skin of her neck. Your arms wrap around her body, your fingers finding her flat, toned stomach, and placing your palm flat against it, enjoying the feel of the slightly quickened pace of her breathing at this first intimate touch between you. Her scent, the feel of her skin beneath your palms, the small gasp she makes as you place a kiss behind her ear - it’s all so alluring, so intoxicating.
Her skin is warm, moist beneath your lips and your hands. Beads of water from her shower trace a path down her neck, past the round curves of her naked breasts, and onto the flat plane of her stomach.
“You’re still wet, Momo,” you whisper into her ear. She sighs softly. You drink in the sight of her closing her eyes in the mirror, canting her head to the side slightly to reveal more of her neck to your lips.
“You have no idea,” she whispers, softly. After a few more kisses on her neck, she turns her head so she is looking over her shoulder at you. You share a kiss, and the touch of her lips on yours is pure electricity. 
She grasps the hand you’d placed atop her stomach, and drags it down her body. Your kiss deepens when your fingertips brush against the wet, warm heat between her legs.
She was right - she was dripping.
She lets a low, slow moan escape her lips as your fingertips graze the soft, warm flesh between her thighs, your middle finger tracing a slow path upward from the base of her opening to its tip, collecting her plentiful juices on the way.
“Since you refrained from joining me in the shower, I had to get myself started,” she says, softly, eyes still shut softly. Her lips have parted slightly, warm breaths of pleasure leaving them with each soft stroke your fingertips make between her legs.
“Sorry, Momo. Let me take care of you.”
She smiles to herself.
“You’re all mine this trip,” she says, softly, as her eyes slowly drift open, finding you staring at her reflection over her shoulder. Between her legs, your ring finger joins your middle one, tracing slow, careful strokes up and down her opening - barely penetrating, carefully spreading the lips of her pussy apart, preparing her for what was to come.
“All yours,” you say against the back of her ear, breathlessly.
“No other toys, no other girls. Just you and me. All mine, just mine.”
“Yes, Momo,” you gasp, suddenly short of breath. The feel of her slick pussy on your fingertips, that tight, hot body pressed against yours - it was so much to take in. “I’m yours,” you say, “whenever, however you want.”
“I don’t believe it.”
“I am, Momo. I’m yours.”
She grasps your other hand from where it is clutching her hip, and draws it up her torso until it is cupping a full, round breast. Almost on reflex, you capture her taut nipple between your index finger and thumb. She sighs in your arms as you squeeze her breast and tease the nipple atop it, enjoying the heavy weight of it in your hand.
“I don’t believe it,” she repeats, turning her head again to kiss you. Your lips find each other, tongues not long after. Her body writhes like liquid in your arms. Her cunt leaks her juices onto your fingers and between them.
“I am,” you manage to say, between kisses that were quickly becoming heated, more intense. “I’m yours.”
The kiss continues. You’d kissed her before, of course, but never this passionately, never with this much intensity or intimacy behind it. 
“Prove it, then,” she says, breaking the kiss just long enough to get the words out from between your mouths. For the first time since you’d entered the bathroom you look directly into her eyes, and not through the reflection.
Dark brown, round, filled with an intensity that takes you by surprise with its depth. 
“Momo,” you say, unable to really conjure up more than her name. You can feel yourself being lost to her, feel yourself losing your higher faculties and becoming a simple-minded slave to your base needs. “I’m yours,” you repeat.
“We’ll see,” she relents, even as she brushes her nose and then her lips against yours, teasing a kiss that never comes. “But I still have my doubts. I think you’ll have to fuck them out of me.”
That’s it - that’s what snaps the last vestiges of your self control. You crush her lips with yours, driving them against hers with so much force that it might have hurt her - not that she cared, not when she wanted the same thing. 
Your fingers tighten around her nipple, pulling and twisting, squeezing the soft flesh of her breast in your palm. Lower, your fingertips slide inside her.
She moans into your kiss, lips breaking contact for just a second to fill the bathroom with the sound of her pleasure. The kiss continues for a moment more, but she breaks it again when your fingers slide inside her to the hilt.
Her eyes drift slowly open, holding your gaze, even though your faces are touching, your noses and lips brushing against each other as you finger her slowly, sliding your fingers in and out of her slick, hot cunt. Your eyes remained locked on each other as you continue to finger fuck the young woman in your arms.
You’d fucked her before, roughly, sometimes with one or more others sharing the same bed, or couch, or shower. You’d seen her in the throes of orgasm as she’d cum on your cock, heard her spit filth into your ears, watched her as she’d lain there a sweaty, cum-filled mess after one of your sessions - but you’ve never seen her like this. Those were rushed, hard, messy sessions driven entirely by basic lust; this was something else entirely. Momo had never looked so soft, never looked so vulnerable. 
It never felt so intimate.
“Mmm, fuck,” she gasps, “that feels so good.”
“I’ll take care of you, Momo,” you say, the words leaving your mouth almost faster than you knew you were saying them, your desires working faster than your brain. “I’ll take care of you this trip. I’m yours. I’ll make you cum, as much as you want.”
“Do it, please,” she replies, eyes fluttering, body writhing in your grasp. The hand over yours on her breast tightens. She begins to quiver, legs losing their strength as the pleasure builds between her legs.
“Please,” she continues. “Make me cum.”
Your hand leaves her breast, wrapping around her torso, pressing her back against your chest. Her eyes dart open for a moment, finding yours in the mirror’s reflection. Her lower lip curls under a tooth as your fingers move inside her.
Her eyes shut again when they find the right spot.
She moans, and the warm, lovely sound that leaves her throat bounces off the hard marble and glass of the bathroom, filling your ears with her pleasure. It increases in pitch and frequency as your fingers work between her legs - slowly building in pace, not too fast, not too much all at once. Just a slow, steady increase. 
Her legs are jelly now, the arm you’d wrapped beneath her breasts doing more and more to hold her up against you than her limbs did. She reaches back with a hand to grasp your scalp. She arches her back, throws the back of her head against your shoulder as you pleasure her.
Her reflection in the mirror is sex - that perfect body of hers, perfectly shaped, perfectly fit, just perfect - writhing and quivering in your arms. And her face - my god, her face - wracked with pleasure, eyes shut and brow furrowed, mouth agape as it spills a chorus of moans and sighs from her lips.
Between her legs, she is so wet, so slick that her juices are running between your fingers, staining your palm the back of your hand, some of it dripping down to the cold marble in heavy drops as she makes a mess of you and the floor beneath her.
“Cum for me, Momo,” you hiss. Your lips are pressed against the soft skin behind her ear and while your words weren’t very loud, the effect they have on her is obvious. She tightens around your fingers, begins to pulsate. Her moans reach a new pitch.
“Cum for me, Momo,” you repeat, fingers merciless between her legs. You maintain your pace, no longer moving any faster inside her, simply staying at that speed and tempo. You knew she was right there, right on that delicious edge when building pleasure threatened to become an orgasm. You wanted her to stay there, even as your words tease her, tempt her into throwing herself over it.
“Mmm, no, don’t want to yet,” she says, the words tumbling from her drooling lips in a half-drunken slur, “no, don’t want to cum yet, want, oh fuck, want to, fuck, want to stay here, it feels so good, just like this, just like that-”
“Cum for me,” you snap. “Cum on my hand.”
“No, please, fuck, just a little longer please, don’t want to cum yet-”
You let her have her way - for a few moments more. You savor the sight of her reflection in the mirror. Her entire body is trembling. Her fingers are claws - one digging into your scalp behind her, the other on your forearm. What a sight; you want to freeze it, want to sear it into your memory for a lonely day.
“Yes, yes, so good,” she pants. Saliva drips from the corner of a slack mouth. She is a slave to the pleasure emanating from her cunt. She’s helpless, teetering on the precipice of a pit she wasn’t sure she wanted to fall into, not when the simple danger of it was so wonderful, when the threat of cumming so hard was so hard felt almost as good as actually cumming, when she felt so close to something she wasn’t sure she wanted, not yet, not when she felt so utterly-
“Cum for me, Momo.”
When she cums it is almost violent, the way the entirety of her body shakes and quivers and trembles in your arms. Her legs give way, until only your arm around her torso and fingers inside her cunt keep her upright. She tightens almost unbearably around your fingers. Her moans cut out momentarily, but only for a second, because when she finds her voice again the sound that leaves her throat is nothing short of a shriek.
You hold her close through it all, not moving your fingers inside her, simply holding her upright and letting her ride the waves of pleasure as they crash against her.
It takes a few minutes for her to recover. Longer than usual, not that you minded watching the unbearably beautiful, near-naked woman in your arms recover from one of the strongest orgasms you’d ever given her. She is wet, sweaty, slick. Flushed and pink, breathing heavily. Dripping sex, figuratively and literally.
While she is still recovering, you push forward slightly with your upper body until she finds the strength to brace herself against the counter with quivering arms. Then, placing soft kisses on the back of her neck, you slip your fingers from inside her. They emerge wet and sticky from her cunt.
You bring them to her mouth. 
She begins to lick them clean. Eyes still drunk with pleasure, they manage to find yours in the mirror’s reflection. Her tongue gathers her own slick juices, slurps them up as best she can, licking up and down the length of your fingers and between them. She gets her juices onto her chin and cheeks, making them glisten with her wetness. Her eyes never leave yours.
“Fuck me now,” she says, half-moan, half-sigh as the last vestiges of her orgasm course through her veins. She swipes one last time at the juices that stain your fingers. “Fuck me like I want. Like you want. Fuck your cum into me.”
You slip your hand from her mouth, and she sighs at the absence of them. You strip the bathrobe from her shoulders, finally leaving her naked. Perfection in female form, all curves and perfect skin, marred only by sweat and spit and her own juices. Her eyes have never once left yours, locked on yours in the mirror’s reflection, until she turns over her shoulder to look at you directly.
She leans over the counter, arches her back, spreads her legs slightly. Her leaking cunt drips her juices onto the floor between you.
No further words. A few moments pass as you quickly undo the knot at your joggers and pull them down to your knees, revealing your aching, stiffened cock. You step forward, pressing her against the counter. One of your hands reaches out and squeezes a firm cheek of her ass, before sliding up her spine, fingertips tracing a path along the delicious curve there and resting on her shoulder.
Your free hand brings your tip to her dripping cunt. A stroke forward with your hips, and you’re inside Hirai Momo to the hilt.
Her pussy is tight, wet, slick - the feel of her body wrapped around your cock is sublime. Her ass is wide and full, her waist tiny, spine delightfully arched and shoulders possessing the right amount of tone - the sight of her bent over the bathroom counter, fully impaled on your cock, was enthralling, made you shiver with pleasure.
But it’s her face, her reflection in the bathroom mirror, that takes the cake. Her eyes, shut to relish the feel of being filled with your stiffness, slowly drift open before finding and holding your gaze. Her mouth opens to sigh at the feeling of fullness, that wonderful stretch inside her, before her tongue darts out to lick her lips. She says something, and you don’t hear it, but the message on her lips is easy to read, undeniable.
“Fuck me,” she mouths. 
You slip your cock out of her halfway. The lips of her pussy clutch tightly to your shaft, not wanting to let it go. You glisten with her slick juices. 
One stroke, then two. A third, a fourth. A slow build up of pace and depth and force. She takes it, letting small grunts and sighs punctuate each thrust you make into her body. Her arms brace herself against the counter. Her upper arms bring her breasts together, creating a delicious looking cleavage as they begin to be rocked back and forth with each impact of your hips on hers.
You tighten your grip on her, fixing her, keeping her still, rendering her unable to do anything else other than simply take each thrust you give her tight, wet little cunt.
You reach the rhythm you want, where you are fucking her, giving her long, smooth strokes of your cock. Her sighs turn into soft moans as she settles into your rhythm, matches it with her own with small movements of her hips, driving herself back at you, making each thrust that much more pleasurable for both of you.
You let your gaze wander. Everywhere you look is something you want to never forget - the round cheeks of her ass, her slim waist, even the soft curls and waves in her hair as they are plastered to her neck and upper back with sweat. And in the mirror, more; the dangling, bouncing mounds of her breasts and the tight nipples atop them, that lovely face of hers, soft features twisted and contorted with pleasure in the most beautiful way possible.
“Harder,” she says, softly. You oblige.
You reach forward, grasp her upper arms in your palms. You pull backward, lifting her upper body up off the counter, arching her back.
You resume fucking her.
She yelps at the first few thrusts in this position. She’s truly helpless now, fingers turning into claws as they helplessly search for something to hold on to and find nothing. Her breasts bounce wildly in the mirror, the large, round mounds impacted forcefully with each thrust you make into her cunt. They would be sore later, but she wouldn’t care, not if future soreness was the price to be paid for immediate pleasure.
She throws her hair back, sending sable hair flying. Her eyes roll to the back of her head. Her mouth slackens, able to do no more than moan and sigh. Saliva drips from the corner of her mouth, down her chin as she is fucked, hard, stretched cunt filled again and again with your cock.
You tighten your grip on her upper arms, pulling back slightly until she is almost upright. Throughout it all you are fucking her, pounding her tight little pussy, making her feel everything, giving her everything. Your brow furrows with the effort, your teeth grit. 
“You’re so fucking tight, Momo,” you grunt, “such a tight little cunt.”
“Mmmmm, fuck--!” is the response from a breathless mouth. You up the pace. She takes it all, and every wordless moan that leaves her mouth at the peak of each thrust is proof that she loved each one. You fuck her hard, roughly. You take liberties with her body, using her cunt as you wanted, momentarily forgetting that you were there to serve her - and she loves every moment of it.
You’re the first to relent - as much as you wanted to fuck the young woman into oblivion in that position your arms simply couldn’t take much more. You release her upper arms, leaving clear marks on her fair skin, before sliding them up her torso. You cup her tender breasts in each hand, squeezing the heavy mounds, caressing and pinching her taut nipples. She cups her hands over yours. 
“Mmmm, so fucking big,” she gasps. “So fucking big inside me, fucking me so good - and all for me, all mine.”
You bury your mouth in the side of her neck.
“All yours, Momo. I’m gonna fuck this little cunt, your mouth, your ass - all your holes, whenever you want. This cock belongs to you. I’ll take care of you, baby girl. I’ll take care of this body of yours.”
“Yes!” she gasps. “Yes. All mine. Fuck, fuck, fuck, you’re all mine, gonna, gonna fucking cum on your cock.”
You up your pace, but only slightly, just enough to make your impending orgasms that much more wonderful. The slap of wet skin on wet skin fills the bathroom. You let go of her breasts, but your hands don’t leave her, wandering to her hips, her ass, her shoulders - anywhere that let you hold her, grip her, tie her down. Anywhere that you could touch and squeeze. 
“Gonna cum, baby,” Momo says to your reflection in the mirror. “Gonna cum on your cock.”
“Fuck, me too, Momo.”
“Cum in me, okay? Give me your cum. I want-”
Her sentence is interrupted with a long, drawn out moan as she nears her orgasm.
“What do you want, Momo? Tell me. Tell me what you want. I’ll give it to you.”
“I want, I want-”
You continue to fuck her. She’s so close, right on the edge once more, and you’re not far off. Your cock fills her cunt again and again and again and she’s losing her grip, and you’re losing yours, and the whole world means nothing aside from the pussy wrapped around your cock, her perfect body and bouncing breasts, the words leaving the girl’s mouth-
“I want- oh fuck, I want---”
“Fuck, Momo-”
“I want your cum inside me,” she spits, finally, right on the edge of cumming. “Cum inside me. Just for me.”
She cums, and you do too.
You have to hold her down, lest the full-body spasm that wracks her pulls you off your cock before you’d had the chance to fill her with cum. With one hand on her hip and the other on her shoulder you pin her down, pushing her over the bathroom counter until her head and upper chest are pressed against the mirror. One, two more thrusts and you bury yourself inside her, your cock spasming, filling her hot, messy cunt with warm, thick cum.
Your world explodes. Her world shatters into a million pieces. Either way, for a few beautiful seconds you’re both powerless. There is only the pleasure coursing through your bodies.
You grip her hip and shoulder so tightly you are afraid for a moment that you’ll bruise her delicate skin. And for a moment, you didn’t care if you did. All you wanted was to hold her spasming, quivering body still while you filled it with cum.
You both lie there, frozen, for a while - whatever a ‘while’ meant when your respective orgasms rendered your mutual concept of time meaningless. Your hands caress her body, sliding up and down her sides, squeezing a firm ass cheek or round, flushed breast, enjoying the feel of shower water and sweat and other juices beneath your hands. You feel hazy, drunk on pleasure, and everything takes on a blurred, unreal appearance, as though you were still asleep on the couch, and this was the sweetest dream you’d ever had.
A knock on the door is what brings reality crashing back into existence.
You both freeze - you’re still hilt deep inside her creamy, messy pussy. You find her eyes, still filled with a post-orgasm haze, in the reflection.
“The makeup staff,” you say, with a surprising, odd amount of clarity. “They’re here,” you add, as though it were some new bit of information that could shed further light on the ridiculous situation you’d both found yourselves in.
Momo squirms beneath you, but doesn’t move any further. She makes a small whimpering sound. It’s you that moves first when the second knock comes, easing yourself out of her cunt. Thick drops of cum and her juices drip onto the floor, and her whimper turns into a soft, low moan as she feels your cock leave her.
“I need to take another shower,” Momo says, softly, the pleasure still coursing through her body still making her feel high, feel drunk. “Tell them I woke up late. I’ll be out in ten minutes.”
“Okay,” you agree, taking a moment to grab one of the hand towels off the rack and giving yourself a quick clean before bending to wipe the evidence of your act from the marble floor.
You pull your pants back up, and Momo sheepishly steps toward the shower on wobbly legs.
You are turning to make your way to answer the door when she stops you with a hand on your upper arm. When you turn, she plants a kiss on your lips.
“Thanks,” she says, before flashing you that smile of hers and hopping back into the shower. Her cheeks are flushed, and she looks like a mess, but she is glowing.
You find a smile making its way onto your face as you turn to deal with the makeup artists.
---
She was bathed in light again.
This time the lights came from dozens of photographer flashes, each one belonging to a competitor vying for the best shot, the perfect visual capture of the young woman at the center of everyone’s attention. She relishes the moment, doing her best to pose the way they want, the way she knows will show off the best sides of her - not that there was any particular side that outweighed the others, because truth be told, Hirai Momo looked amazing from all angles.
“Fuck she’s hot,” Minnie says.
“Yeah,” you agree, your eyes not leaving the girl who was the center of attention of almost everyone else at the party.
“That fit - damn, not just anyone can pull that off.”
“I think you’d look fine in it.”
“Please,” Minnie scoffs, “don’t patronize me. There’s a reason why the cameras are pointed at her, and not me.”
“Yeah, you look like a real three day old bag of garbage,” you tease. You turn to her for the first time to flash her a smile, and she rewards you with a soft punch to the upper arm. In a similarly all-denim fit, Minnie looked pretty captivating in her own right, albeit in a more subdued, cute school classmate kind of way.
“I’m no slouch,” she admits as she takes a sip from her champagne flute, “but I look like a cardboard cutout compared to those curves.”
As much as you liked Minnie - she was close friends with several of the girls and thus you saw and interacted with her frequently - you couldn’t disagree with her. Momo’s all-denim fit, consisting of wide cut jeans and a halter top that was essentially a triangle of denim strapped to her chest that left her back bare, certainly put all those curves on full display.
You are both admiring Momo from afar when an older, well-dressed gentleman approaches you. Next to you Minnie straightens up and puts on her best smile, but she receives only a courtesy nod of the head from the newcomer.
“Excuse me,” he begins, in British-accented english that reminded you a bit of the way noblemen spoke in period pieces. “Am I correct in assuming that you’re Miss Hirai’s company handler?”
“Yes,” you answer, wondering for the millionth time at the series of ridiculous events that led to you being able to answer ‘yes’ to such a question.
The gentleman reaches into his jacket pocket to retrieve a business card, on which he scribbles something onto the back with a fancy looking fountain pen. He passes it to you, and you take a note of the company logo on the front of it - one of the higher-end brands in the fashion industry, that was for sure.
“I’d welcome the opportunity to meet with someone in your company regarding a business arrangement with Miss Hirai,” he begins. “My personal number is on the back of the card, should she wish to conduct that meeting… personally.”
Out of the corner of your eye you notice Minnie give a scoff under her breath before turning away and taking another sip of her champagne. You succeed a little better than her in hiding your disgust behind a smile.
You’d had your suspicions about the man from the second he approached, and his words only confirm them to be accurate. You had no doubt he did indeed represent the company he claimed to work for, but the generally slimy, greasy aura about him rubbed you the wrong way.
“I’ll make sure someone at the company contacts you,” you respond. “Have a good night, sir.”
He seems a little surprised at your curt reply and abrupt dismissal - this was a man not used to being rejected. Regardless, he manages a tart nod towards both you and Minnie before he scurries off into the crowd.
“What a piece of shit,” Minnie says under her breath, the second his back is turned - perhaps she’d wanted him to hear it. She was nothing if not honest with her feelings.
You nod in agreement as you turn the business card over in your hand, glossing over the number scribbled onto the back.
“Still,” Minnie continues, “that’s a fucking top-tier brand. She’d look pretty good in their stuff, not to mention what it’ll do for her career.”
“I’m not going to-”
“Don’t get me wrong,” she says, cutting you off. “There’s no way in hell I’d let her anywhere near that guy. But if you take it to the company maybe they can work something out - something that doesn’t involve slimeball execs luring models back to their hotel rooms in exchange for promises.”
“Yeah, I suppose you’re right,” you agree, your gaze returning to Momo, who was beginning to signal to her audience of admirers that she was ready to end the little impromptu photo session. If the photographers picked up on her hints, they didn’t show it - the lights continue to flash, and they continue to call her name in hopes that she’d turn to give them the angle they were looking for.
“Anyway, since there aren’t any high-end brand slimeballs hitting on me, I’ll be in the corner getting wasted on free champagne,” Minnie says with a sarcastic but warm smile. You return it - she was a sweetheart, and you hoped to see more of her.
“See you around, Minnie.”
She gives your upper arm a squeeze and shoots you a smile and a wink before heading towards another corner of the room, where several other idols and celebrities in attendance were congregating.
You stand there alone for a few more minutes while Momo wraps up.  She gives everyone small, polite bows and waves as she slowly makes her way towards you, having finally broken free of the throng of admirers and the incessantly flashing lights that accompanied them.
“Who was the creepy old dude?” she asks.
“This guy,” you answer, handing her the card. She makes an intrigued face at the logo on the front before flipping it over and noticing the number on the back. Her curiosity turns into an unamused smirk.
“If you want,” you begin, “we can pretend we never got that card.”
“No, the company will want to know about this,” she answers, with more than a hint of disappointment. “This could be a pretty cool opportunity.”
“I suppose. But you’re sure as hell not dialling that number and meeting with him alone.”
She smiles up at you. Her eyes glimmer in the light of some far-off camera flash.
“Really? Are you going to protect an innocent, naive little girl like me from creepy old execs that want to take advantage of her?”
You smile, and she covers her mouth for a moment to hide her giggle.
“He wouldn’t be the first geezer to think I’d suck his dick and spread my legs just because one of his assistants sends me a bag with a fancy logo on it,” she admits, her giggle fading quickly and turning into a forlorn glance at the card in her hand. “Probably won’t be the last. One of the drawbacks of being super hot, y’know?”
Despite the sarcasm in her tone and the weak smile on her lips, there is a sadness in her eyes that breaks your heart a little.
“Here,” she says, handing you the card with a dispirited look. “You should probably make sure someone in Business Development at the company gets that.”
You draw closer to her and take the card from her hands. You tear it in half.
She looks up at you, the surprise on her face becoming a sweet smile. There is genuine appreciation there, along with something else you couldn’t quite name.
“I appreciate it, I really do,” she says, softly, before returning to a sarcastic tone. “But, like, they’re a pretty big brand. I never want to see that dude ever again, but I like their stuff, so maybe someone from the company can call their company…”
“I can probably… tape it back together?” you say, sheepishly fiddling with the two halves of the card and making a show of trying to piece the two parts together.
Momo giggles again, and amidst the loudness of the event, it sounds like music. “You’re too sweet,” she says, with a warm smile, before she draws close to whisper into your ear.
“And just for the record,” she says, “it’s your cum inside me, your cum that’s dripping down my leg. I don’t want anyone else’s. I just want more of yours.”
She leaves you there, speechless, for a moment that seems longer than it really was. She bites her lip, the slightest bit of ivory poking into soft pink, before sliding her tongue across it.
“C’mon,” she says, finally, motioning towards a corner of the room where Minnie is flagging down another flute of champagne from a passing server. “Can’t let Minnie get wasted all on her own. She’s tiny - so she doesn’t hold her alcohol very well.”
“Right,” you answer, slipping the two halves of the card into your jacket pocket. You’d make sure the guys in Business Development knew to avoid that particular executive when approaching their company. 
On your way to Minnie, Momo tugs at your jacket sleeve.
“Hey,” she says, eyes locked on yours, thoughtful look on her features. “Thanks. Again.”
“You’re welcome. I’m yours this week, remember?”
She pulls away, gives you a thoughtful look over her shoulder, and leads you both to where her friend is polishing off her fourth flute.
---
The Eiffel Tower shone like a golden spear, a beacon against the darkness, a monument to man’s mastery over light.
Unlike other monumental towers in other world-class cities, which were often nestled amidst downtown skyscrapers and other buildings, the Eiffel Tower stands alone and unchallenged against the Paris skyline. That made it difficult to miss, and impossible to ignore.
It is a fact you were thankful for. It gave you something to focus on, something to distract you, if even from a moment, from the woman between your knees.
The simple deck chair you are sitting on squeaks in protest as the pleasure slowly building in your body causes you to squirm atop it. Between your spread legs, Momo smiles around a mouthful of your cock as she slowly eases it from between her wet lips.
“Does that feel good, baby?” she asks, knowing full well what your answer would be. But she asks it anyway, because she wants to hear the answer, wants to hear your praise, wants to hear just how much every little move she made was affecting your body.
“It feels fucking amazing, Momo,” you answer, knowing that no amount of profanity could possible emphasize enough how you felt in that moment.
“Good,” she replies, returning her attention to your cock, planting small, soft, almost chaste kisses along its length. She cradles it with her left hand as she continues her kisses down your shaft, placing a few softer ones on each of your dangling balls.
You reach out, run your fingers through her hair. She raises her head from under your shaft and nuzzles against your palm. Her eyes drift closed for a moment and a smile perks up the corners of her mouth as she enjoys the feel of your skin on hers. The hand on your cock begins to pump slowly up and down your length.
“Just enjoy it, okay babe?” she says, softly, eyes drifting open to lock onto yours. “Let me know when you get close - pinch my arm - and I’ll slow down. I’ll go slow. I want it to last. I want it to feel good.”
“Okay,” you answer. Momo gives you a sultry smile before returning to her work.
Her mouth is sublime - warm, wet, tight - that skilled tongue of hers playing around your head at the apex of each movement, pressed against the underside of your cock on the downstroke. Her hand matches her movements, pumping up and down in time with the movements of her lips and tongue.
You feel the pleasure building, and so you return your attention to the Eiffel Tower.
You wonder for a moment at the sheer scale of it, and how such an impressive structure was created without the construction technology of today. You weren’t really sure when it was built - perhaps early in the 1900s? The late 1800s? Regardless of its actual date of construction you knew it must’ve been a long and difficult process without today’s cranes and Momo’s tongue sliding along the underside of the head of your cock, sending another spike of pleasure coursing up your spine-
That deserved a pinch on her arm.
You can almost feel her smile around your cock as she slows down her pace significantly. Her tongue doesn’t pressed as tightly against your shaft, having momentarily retreated from the offensive it was waging on the tip of your cock. You let a sigh escape your lips.
Back to the Eiffel Tower - gee, the electricity bill on it must be staggering. You were a few kilometers away from it, but from here it seemed like every inch of it was illuminated in some way. It glimmered as though it were made of fine gold and brilliant silver. 
It must’ve cost quite a bit to have it lit up like it was, every night. But it was probably a cost that the residents of Paris bore proudly - it was the fucking Eiffel Tower, after all. If you’d had something as iconic in your backyard you’d bet you’d be lighting it up as much as you could. 
The very tip of the tower contained some sort of slowly rotating searchlight that sent parallel spears of light out into the darkness, as though being a giant lit-up tower of solid gold wasn’t enough to draw your attention to it and Momo’s doing it again, capturing the head of your cock between her lips before swirling the very tip of her tongue around its head and under the sensitive ridge where it met the rest of your shaft. With her right hand she begins to fondle your balls with a light touch; her left hand continues to pump up and down your length and oh my god-
Yeah, a definite pinch on her arm.
She lets your cock leave her lips, and you look down to find an amused smile on her lips. Her tongue darts out, sweeping the spit and pre-cum from them. She can feel that you’re closer now than she’d like, so her hands leave your cock, and she returns to placing soft kisses against your shaft. She nuzzles her face against it, grazing it with her soft cheeks and nose.
The Eiffel Tower, though - wow, what a monument. It was, like, big and stuff, and lit up and it’s so tall and Momo’s reaching behind her now, fingers working quickly at the buckle that held up the ridiculous triangle of denim that was strapped to her chest and now it’s off, and those large, round, perfectly shaped breasts of hers are bare naked, tits you and half the population of Paris had had their eyes glued to for most of the day and now she’s topless and looking at you with lust in her eyes and her hands are cupping her own tits and her fingers are playing with her stiff nipples and and the Eiffel Tower is definitely a thing.
“Jesus, Momo,” you spit, almost on reaction, as the young woman straightens up her back, giving you a full view of her topless form in the low light of the hotel room balcony. You were thankful, not for the first time, that the balcony walls were made of plaster and thus limited any chance of prying eyes witnessing what was happening on it.
Momo’s response is to bring her breasts to your cock, capturing it between the full, warm mounds. She looks up at you, making sure your eyes were locked on her, before she bends her head to spit on the tip of your cock. 
Her saliva lands on your tip, before dripping down your already spit-slick shaft. She squeezes her tits around your cock, and begins to slide them up and down your length.
Your head tilts back and you let a sharp, breathless gasp leave your mouth at the feeling of it. There was no relying on the Eiffel Tower, now, not that any monument in the world stood any chance of distracting you from what was happening between your legs.
“Does that feel good?” she asks, another question she knew full well the answer to.
“Yes, Momo. Fuck.”
“Do you want to cum on my tits?”
“Yes. God, yes.”
“Mmmm,” she responds, continuing to slide her warm, full tits up and down your shaft. Warm, wet, slick. “I like you here, though, like this. Right on the edge…”
“Fuck, Momo, please.”
By way of response, she bends her head, does her best to swipe the tip of her tongue across the head of your cock as it appears from between her tits with each slide down your length. You’re getting close now, your limbs beginning to quiver, the pleasure building-
Momo lets your cock slip from between her tits. You sigh at the loss of that warm softness around your shaft. She returns to placing soft, simple kisses on its length.
“I didn’t pinch your arm,” you state, frustrated. You were right there, just a few seconds away, one or two more thrusts between her tits.
“I know,” she replies, a mischievous smile on her lips, before her tongue darts out and gives you a slow, careful lick from the base of your shaft to its tip. “But you look so good like this, all antsy, wanting so bad to cum all over me. So fucking hot.”
“Momo,” you say, her name almost a plea.
She relents - quicker than you were expecting, and saving you from having to beg - perhaps she’d been looking forward to your orgasm just as much as you were.
“Alright,” she says. “I’m not a monster. Don’t hold back, okay? Just cum. Cum for me.”
She straightens her back, slides your aching cock between those full, round, perfect breasts of hers once again. You don’t miss the way she captures her nipples between her thumbs and index fingers as she squeezes the full mounds around your shaft.
She spits on your cock again. Then she slides her breasts up and down your cock.
For a moment your mind flashes back to that very first night with her and Chaeyoung - the night that, without exaggeration, changed your life. The blowjob they’d started with was amazing, of course, but when you started fucking Momo’s tits for the first time - that was when it really sunk it. Before then it had felt like a dream. With her breasts around your cock, and that look of utter pleasure on her face as you fucked her tits - it suddenly felt very real.
And now here you were, in Paris, no less, with that same, beautiful woman on her knees before, your cock between her breasts again as she pumps them up and down your length. But you were alone, now, just you and her, and it somehow felt more intense than even than the first time. Was it the city? The fact that you were alone with her, with no other girls or toys to get in the way? The fact that there was something in the way she’d been acting in the past few days that made you think, for a moment, that this all meant more to her than a simple appearance at a fashion show?
The thought flees your head quickly amidst the pleasure coursing through your veins. It chases almost everything else away, leaving only the feel of her soft, warm tits wrapped around your cock. It feels amazing. It feels sublime.
Momo is sighing now, the pleasure she was giving you inspiring a similar pleasure in her. She continues to tease her nipples, even as she slips your cock in and out between her breasts. She wishes she were naked, that she could slide a hand down her body to the wetness between her legs - but the thought of it, that delicious itch that she wasn’t quite able to scratch - brought her almost as much pleasure.
“Fuck, Momo, I’m gonna cum,” you hiss, between gritted teeth. You are watching her now, hand tight on her bicep and the other woven into her hair. She raises her head to look at you, eyes glazed with almost as much pleasure as yours.
“Fucking cum all over me.”
Almost as if on command, your orgasm hits you - hard, intense, overwhelming. Your cock spasms in the soft warmth of her tits as it spurts thick, warm semen, thick ropes of it landing on her neck and chin, her upper chest, those perfect breasts. You want to shut your eyes, want to relish the pleasure overtaking your brain, but you force your eyes open, force yourself to watch as you paint Momo with your cum.
She lets a long, soft moan leave her mouth from the moment your cum lands on her skin. She continues to slide her breasts up and down your shaft, but at a slower pace now, the added lubrication of your cum making her feel even more slick and wet around your still-spasming cock.
You quiver at the pleasure in a way that you didn’t often during sex. The environment, the circumstances, the utter sexuality of the perfect young woman pleasuring you - it was almost too much to handle.
Your hands leave her body, and you slump backward in your chair as the orgasm finally winds down. Momo finally stops moving, settling her breasts down until they are wrapped around the base of your cock. Her tongue darts out playfully, sliding across your tip. You shudder, completely at her mercy.
Eventually she raises her head, releases your spent cock from between her reddened, cum-slick breasts. Her cheeks are flushed, her eyes half-lidded with lust. Thick ropes of your cum paint her body, the white streaks contrasting against her perfect creamy skin, dripping down her chest in slow paths of glistening wetness.
She stands, and without a further word she steps inside the hotel room.
Just beyond her the Eiffel Tower stood proudly, a monument to humanity and everything it was capable of - not that you gave it a shred of your attention as you follow her into the room.
You watch, dumbfounded, brain hazy, as she undoes the buckle at her belt and lets the thick denim fall down her long, perfect legs. The small black lace thong she wore beneath it follows suit as she bends to slide it from her body, leaving her naked.
When she reaches the bed, she turns around and sits on its edge, beckoning you toward her with her eyes. You follow, slave to her, a thrall to her whims.
She lies back on the bed. She spreads her legs as you approach the edge of the bed, allowing you between them.
You reach out, caressing her warm, full thighs. They are flushed and pink, wet with the juices freely flowing from her opening. The slick wetness of her cunt glistens in the low light of the hotel room.
“I should be getting you back from what you just did to me,” you say. 
She smiles - a sensual, sultry curve of her lips. “I’d say we’re even, considering what you did to me this morning in the bathroom. And besides,” she says, eyes locked on yours as she captures a rope of your cum from her upper chest with her fingertips, “you liked it.”
She slips her glistening fingers into her mouth, sucking your cum from them. 
In response, you place your newly stiffened shaft on her body - the length of it lying atop her shaven mound. She gasps at the feel of it on her.
“What if I want to leave you like this, Momo? Look at my cock. Look at how deep inside you I’d be.”
She glances down between your bodies, to where your aching, stiff cock is lying atop her mound. She bites her lip, reaching down to caress its wet length, imagining it thrusting mercilessly inside her, comparing its length to her body and seeing how deep inside her it would end up.
“You won’t leave me like this. You don’t have the guts. You want to fuck me. You want to ruin this little cunt of mine, leave me here on this bed a little cum-stained, cum-filled thing.”
“Maybe I want to. Maybe I don’t.”
“You do,” she snaps. “And besides, it doesn’t matter what you want. You’re mine, remember? You do what I want - and what I want is your cum in me.”
You feel yourself giving in. How could anyone resist such a sight, such words? She’s perfect - hot, wet, legs spread, your cum is on her chest and she’s irresistible, in every possible way a woman could be.
“Fuck, Momo,” you sigh, defeated. 
Her free hand continues to caress your cock, forming a ring with her index finger and thumb and pumping it up and down your aching length. She captures another rope of your semen from her upper chest with her fingers, before capturing the nipple atop her right breast and teasing it with cum-stained fingertips. She moans at her own touch, you gasp at the sight of her. Your hands, caressing her thighs, tighten around the soft, yielding flesh, holding on to the last vestiges of self-control remaining inside you.
“Do you like me like this?” she asks, breathless.
You grasp your cock with your right hand, bringing your tip to her dripping lips before sliding inside her. It rips a sharp moan from her lungs. You linger there for a moment, hilt-deep inside Hirai Momo’s tight, slick cunt.
“I like you like this.”
You begin to fuck her - as much as a part of you wanted to get back at her for the way she’d edged you out on the balcony, the tight, slick heat you were pumping in and out of did much to dissolve any thoughts of revenge from your head. The session in the bathroom this morning, the teasing at the fashion show, the way she’d pleasured you on the balcony - it had all boiled over, leaving no room for things like teasing or taking things slow.
There was only pleasure, now, and the hard, firm pace you set puts you both on the path to achieving it as quickly as possible.
At first she gasps and sighs as you fill her again and again, her body adjusting to the way you were taking her, her cunt stretching around you. She was still so slick and so very wet - perhaps some remnant of the cum you’d left in her this morning contributed to how messy she felt, or perhaps it was mostly her own juices. Either way, she was dripping even before you’d entered her, and now, as you hammer in and out of that juicy pussy, she was almost drenched.
“Fuck, fuck,” she hisses, between gritted teeth. She raises her upper body on her elbows, giving her a better look between her own spread legs where you are pistoning in and out of her body. She looks up at you, and for a few long minutes you stay like that, eyes holding each other's gaze as you fuck.
Her breasts are given a delightful bounce with each thrust into her body. The streaks of your cum begin to flow down their curves, leaving glistening trails behind them. You rip your eyes from hers to watch them bounce, hypnotically, mesmerized by their perfect shape and the way they moved on her body.
She gets the hint - returns her back to the bed, reaches and cups her tits with both her hands, squeezing their cum-streaked flesh, teasing her nipples again with needy fingers, giving you a show even as she pleasured herself.
It works, and the sight of her spurs you. You up your pace slightly.
“Fuck, yes, right there, just like that,” she spits, as you reach a new tempo. “Fuck me like that, fuck me like this.”
She continues to play with her tits, pinching and teasing her nipples, but you want to see them free, want to see them bounce wildly with every stroke into her cunt. You reach forward. Trapping her wrists in yours, you pull back towards yourself.
She is helpless now, her upper arms bringing her tits together and creating a delicious looking cleavage as they are rocked by each thrust into her tight little cunt. Her heels dig into your butt. She wants more, needs more. She’s moaning and sighing wordless little sounds of pleasure, of need. Your cum is on her bouncing, jiggling breasts and her perfect abs clench and her thighs are flushed and she’s so much, all at once, all for you, she’s made of sex and she’s yours to take.
But that’s not enough - you want more, want to see her lose herself to the pleasure, want to see her cum around your cock. You let go of one of her wrists. With your hand free, you reach down and begin to thumb her clit.
The moan that is halfway out her mouth turns into a shriek, a scream, at your touch. Her arm, free of your grip, finds your forearm as it works at her wet, slick flesh. Her nails dig into your skin, and the pain is a delicious spice to the pleasure you find in her cunt.
“Fuck, that feels so good,” she says, words falling from her lips in a tumble. “Fuck, keep fucking me.”
You do just that - hammering in and out of her tight, juicy little cunt as you thumb at her clit.  She clenches and pulsates around you and you know you’re building her up to an orgasm that you hoped would be as powerful as the one she gave you on the balcony.
“Oh god,” she sighs, a sign that your hopes had a chance of being fulfilled. “Gonna cum so hard. Gonna cum on your cock.”
“Do it, Momo. Cum.”
“No, I don’t want to,” she says - a theme, now, with her, a kink you hadn’t known she’d had, discovered and out here in the open. She loved it here, right on the precipice. Loved the threat of orgasm, almost as much as when it actually came, for you and for her. She loved being teased about it, loved being goaded into an orgasm she pretended to resist, pretended not to want. Faux-resistance. Pretend. In reality she wanted, needed the orgasm - but every denial of it made it so much sweeter when it finally came.
“Momo, cum. Cum on my cock like a good little girl.”
Her free hand darts up to capture a cum-stained, bouncing breast. She squeezes herself, hard. Her free, bouncing tit glistens in the light with sweat and cum. 
“No, no no,” she insists, eyes shut and head shaking no, even as her cunt tightens around your thrusting cock, mercilessly pounding into her, spreading her apart, making her yours. Her pulsating pussy betrays her needs, even as her mouth spits defiance. “Don’t want to cum yet. Don’t let me cum, I’ll be good, I promise-”
Your thumb works against her clit. It brings her right to the edge-
“No, no, I don’t want, fuck, you’re gonna make me cum. You cum first, cum in my cunt, please, cum in me first then I’ll cum on your cock I promise, I swear, fuck, fill me with cum please-”
It hits you all at once. You’d thought you were a ways from your own orgasm, especially since you’d cum on her chest just minutes before, but the sight, the sound, the feel of Hirai Momo is too much. It hits you like a thunderbolt, and it feels like lightning coursing through your veins. You bury yourself inside her and fill her, your cock pulsating with each rope of hot, thick semen it leaves inside her messy, tight cunt.
“Keep fucking me, keep fucking me, please, don’t stop-”
You are struggling to remain at least somewhat coherent given the pleasure coursing through even inch of your body, but her words still reach you, and you still find it in you to obey them. You keep thrusting, keep fucking her tight, cum-filled mess of a cunt, and she loves it, loves each entry and exit you make in and out of her body.
After a brief pause as your orgasm overtakes your senses for a moment, your thumb continues its work on her clit, slowly sliding from side to side across the slick, taut bud.
You open eyes you hadn’t known you’d closed and there she is, Hirai Momo, object of desire and beauty and captured with a million megapixels and bathed in flashing lights mere hours before - now a cum-filled, cum-stained mess, legs spread, skin flushed, moaning and sighing around a cunt filled with hot semen, being fucked into an orgasm she resisted and wanted at the same time. 
What any one of her admirers from hours before have given to be you at this moment, see what you see, feel what you feel. But no one else is here - there’s only you, and her, and this sublime, intensely intimate moment between you.
There is only one thing left for you to ask, one thing left for you to say.
“Cum for me, Momo.”
She quivers and shakes when she cums, body submitting completely to the pleasure overtaking her.  Her thighs close around your hips. Inside her, her cunt clenches down on your cock so tightly it is almost painful. You let out a groan of pleasure, but it is drowned out by the long, loud moan that leaves her.
The moan ends, and she lies there - quivering, trembling. Her juices and your cum overflow from her filled cunt, dripping onto the bedsheets, ruining them. You release her right wrist and your thumb leaves her clit, and you brace yourself atop her. You’re both breathing heavily, chests heaving, lungs empty.
She’s dirty now, filthy - a far cry from the perfectly dressed, perfectly made-up model beneath the flashing lights of mere hours ago. Your cum stains her body, fills her cock-filled cunt. Sweat glues her once perfectly-styled hair to her flushed face. She is a mess and utterly, completely perfect, somehow all at the same time.
Her eyes glimmer in the darkness of the bedroom. She manages a smile, through the utter exhaustion. 
You return it, and bend to kiss her.
---
“Y’know how people call Paris the City of Light? It’s because it was one of the first European cities to use gas street lamps, in, like, the 1860s. So it was, like, literally, a city of light.”
For not the first time on the trip, you are taken aback by the knowledge Momo liked to drop at her whim, at random times, as though she could have told you these facts at any time but was waiting for the right moment to do so. She wanted to catch you off guard with them, at a time you least expected, right when you’d convinced yourself that there really wasn’t much going on in that head of hers aside from wondering what delightful culinary treat awaited her at her next meal.
She is leaning on a railing of the many bridges that traversed the French capital. Overly ornate gas lamps formed a part of the railing every twenty or so feet, and you follow her gaze up to one of them. You wonder, briefly, how many men and women had looked up at it and wondered about its history over the decades, just as you now did. The history of the city around you weighed heavily on you at the moment, as it often did as you wandered its streets.
It was the fourth day of your trip - after recovering from the exhausting travel and her appearance at the first fashion show, you’d both spent the last few days taking in Paris’ sights and sounds. She had another scheduled appearance in a couple of days before you both returned to Korea the day after, but until then you were both free to wander the French capital.
You’d hit most of the usual tourist traps first, of course - seeing the Eiffel Tower up close, visiting the popular museums and art galleries, eating at upscale restaurants and casual cafes. The sex was wonderful, of course, but so was the company of the young woman next to you. 
You’d thought you’d figured her out long ago. Every day you spent with her proved you more wrong. Every day you spent with her convinced you that you never really knew her at all.
After a moment you return your eyes to Momo, who is still staring with a mix of wonder and amusement at the lamp, a small smile of amusement on her lips. She notices you looking at her and she gives you a quick look, her smile turning warm. You share that moment for a while.
Eventually your gazes drift down to the river below you, and the banks on either side of it. Despite it being the middle of a weekday, there is no shortage of crowds. Citizens and tourists both have taken up spots on the grassy banks, many enjoying the cool shade under the trees lining the walkways that offered some respite from the late summer heat. Some are enjoying a quick lunch, some are sitting and chatting idly, still others are simply sitting in silence, enjoying the sights and sounds of the city around them.
Many of them are couples. Many are flirting - feeding each other bites of cake or salad, whispering sweet nothings in ears, laughing and smiling at every little thing their partner did in the way young people in love did.
“Paris is the City of Love, too,” Momo says, as though reading your mind.
“I can see why,” you answer, looking around you at the green spaces and blooming flowers, the benches and walkways seemingly built for two, the cute restaurants and cafes. Everywhere you looked there was a place ripe for romance, a place for it to bloom, a place for sparks to turn into fires. Falling in love here would be easy. The city itself seemed to encourage it.
Momo slips her arm in yours, her hand giving your bicep a squeeze.
You are instantly on alert. All it took was one random fan with a phone and an image of one of Korea’s most popular stars would be on screens everywhere, accompanied by the salacious rumors and comments that often came part and parcel with such images. Given your recent experience with the photos someone had taken outside Nayeon’s apartment, you knew full well about what could happen when images of you and one of the girls popped up on the internet.
“Momo,” you say, softly, beginning to slide your arm away. But her grasp on you is stronger than you were anticipating, and she holds on to you.
“You’re mine, aren’t you?” she says to you, a soft look in her eyes and in the smile on her lips. “Let me have my day.”
She pulls you away from the railing, and you continue your stroll down Paris’ alleys and streets, her arm still locked with yours.
---
The crowds were much thinner here, on this random, relatively secluded park somewhere in Paris, some distance from the tourist traps and busy main streets. You and Momo are lying on your sides on a navy blue blanket she’d bought from a nearby craft fair, having just finished off what were probably the best sandwiches you’d ever had in your entire life. Momo had ordered them for the both of you at a local shop, displaying a rudimentary but adorable French accent as she did so.
You are lying on a slope facing a small wooded area, and the trees, greenery, and fading sunlight of late afternoon provided you some privacy. But you could still hear people chatting faintly some distance away, and nothing was stopping an errant child or curious couple from cresting the small hill and finding you both on its other side. Not that that stopped Momo from playing with the waistband of your pants.
“We really shouldn’t,” you say, as her fingers trace the outline of the belt at your waist, both of you knowing your resistance wouldn’t last long. “I can hear people-”
“Mmm?” she hums, as though she weren’t quite listening to what you were saying, or was simply dismissing it. “Want me to stop?”
“If they see us-”
“I see that you’re not saying no.”
You smirk. “Let’s go back to the hotel. We can-”
“I want you here,” she says, eyes suddenly intense. “Now.”
“We can’t - we’ll make too much noise-”
“Then be quiet,” she responds, her hand having undone your belt, the top button soon following suit.
“And will you?” you tease.
“I won’t be the one cumming at a public park.”
“Really?”
“Really,” she says, drawing her body closer to you on the blanket. With her hand she pulls down your pants only low enough to reveal the bulge in your boxers. With a delicate touch, she slides your underwear down to reveal your cock. You shiver as she touches you, her soft fingers closing around your girth.
“So what, you’re just going to lie there and give me a handjob, and that’s it?”
“Well, no,” she admits, that sultry, sly smile on her lips as she bends forward slightly to give you a short, soft kiss. “I fully expect you to fuck me the way I like back at the hotel. I expect you to leave me dripping. But here…”
“-but here?”
“Here, well, I wore this dress for a reason.”
She’s wearing a loose, floral pattern sundress, one that leaves the perfect, creamy skin of her shoulders and upper chest bare. It is daringly low-cut, displaying a delicious-looking cleavage that you’d snuck more than one glance at over the course of the day. Its material is thin and airy, making the outline of the thin white thong she wore beneath obvious to see - as was the absence of a bra.
Her hand closes around your cock, begins to pump up and down in earnest. You reach up, slide your hand against her cheek, and kiss her.
Your tongues find each other, resume the duel they’d been waging on and off in the four days you’d been in Paris. Your hand slides down her neck, lingering there for a moment, enjoying the feel of her pulse beneath your palm. Between you, her hand continues to pump up and down your shaft, fingers tight around your stiffness. 
Your hand drifts to her shoulder, sliding beneath the thin spaghetti strap of the dress and sliding it down her upper arm. The dress slips over her breast, baring it to your hand.
You caress the firm, round mound, her nipple already poking into your palm. She sighs into your kiss as your fingers close around her bud and tease, pinch, pull. She breaks your kiss for a moment, and you lie there a while, noses grazing each other, breathing heavily against each others’ lips as your hands play with each others’ bodies. Sometimes your gazes are locked, sometimes one or both pairs close, sometimes they are half-lidded. But they always find each other again.
Her hand leaves your aching cock for a moment, and she brings her hand to her mouth. You hear her spit into it. Her eyes are locked on yours the whole while, until the feel of the wetness of her pumping hand around your shaft sends a shiver up your spine that causes your eyes to shut.
“Fuck,” you hiss, through gritted teeth. Momo’s lips find yours, and you sigh your pleasure into her mouth.
“Does that feel good, baby?” she says, softly. Her hand tightens around you, her pace increasing slightly. “Do I look good for you?”
She reaches up with her free hand, slips the other strap of her dress down her shoulder, baring her other breast. She pulls it down further, until she is naked almost from the waist up. For the millionth time on this trip, you are utterly entranced by her chest - their perfect shape, the weight of the one in your hand, the feel of her soft, creamy skin, the way they sat on her chest and moved slightly with every pump of her hand on your cock. 
“You… like my tits, don’t you?” she continues, slightly breathless now. There is a tremble in her voice. It was clear to see in her voice, in the flush on her cheeks, the tightness of her nipples - pleasuring you pleasured her equally.
“I do, Momo. I love them.”
The word elicits a soft, wordless moan from her lips, as though it had triggered something inside her. 
“Cum on them, okay? Cum on me.”
Despite the sharp spikes of pleasure that every movement of her hand sent throughout your body, you find yourself surprised.
“Really? No teasing, no edging this time?”
Momo smiles, despite herself, but the relief is brief, and quickly her eyes become intense again.
“No. I want to see you cum. Just for me, please. Just for me. You said you’d be mine. Just mine. Cum, please. Just for me.”
Your hand leaves her breast, finds her cheek, brings it close for a fierce, passionate kiss. You sigh and moan into each others’ mouths as the pleasure she is creating between your bodies begins to reach a peak.
She breaks the kiss to look into your eyes. 
It strikes you all at once - the intimacy, the closeness, the vulnerability. You are entirely at her mercy in that moment, heart and soul laid entirely bare. She knows who you are, knows your secrets. You can hide nothing from her, and she knows it. 
Somewhere else in the park children are playing, dogs barking, elderly couples going for a late-afternoon stroll, but none of it matters; the entire world is boiled down to the three foot square of the blanket and the wonderful woman you shared it with. Not one other thought - not of the other girls, of this trip, or of the bustling city around you - existed. There was only you, and her, and the pleasure she was creating for you in this private little moment that you two shared. A moment she’d created for the two of you only, that neither of you would tell another soul of - it belonged to the both of you, and no one else.
The past several months had been filled with some of the most intense, erotic, carnal moments in your life - but none as close, as intimate as this.
“Cum for me, please?” she says, almost pleading now, for her as much as for you. “Please, baby. Cum all over me.”
Your breath cuts out, your hand clenches around the side of her head - between you, your cock spasms and spurts thick cum all over Momo’s chest. It lands in heavy streaks across her breasts, her nipples, her collarbones. She sighs with each rope that lands on her skin, the same way she sighed when you filled her cunt - as though it were an equally enjoyable experience for her as it was for you.
“Yes, baby,” she whispers beneath her breath as her pace on your cock slows, fingers still tight around your shaft as she milks each drop of cum from your body. “More, please, more.”
You are drained by now, both of cum and of breath - but your body manages a few more weak spurts of semen that land on the dress bunched beneath her breasts, staining the fabric with thick drops of creamy white. Your hand still clutches at her cheek, your arm trembling slightly as your orgasm winds down. 
You open your eyes to view the mess you’d made of her body. It wasn’t the first time on this trip that you’d seen her chest streaked with your cum, but in the fading sunlight of the Paris afternoon it was somehow more beautiful than the times previous. The thick ropes of semen begin to slide down the round mounds, leaving behind glistening streaks that mark their paths across creamy, perfect skin. 
Your eyes find hers. To your surprise you find them eyes glassy, as though on the verge of tears. The intensity of the moment you’ve shared hits you both, and you find your eyes watering as well.
“Momo,” you say, because she is what your existence is filled with. In that moment, she is all you know.
“I’m here,” she says, softly, lips finding yours.
---
Morning dawned on Paris. Bright rays of gold bathe the city, make it glimmer and shine. It slowly makes its way across its buildings and roads and parks, inevitable, inexorable.
It makes its way through the open balcony window of the hotel suite you’d shared with Momo over the past week. It illuminates the messy sheets and the remnants of mostly-eaten takeout and room service trays, over your mostly-packed luggage, over the navy blue blanket she would take home and treasure, because it would remind her of a week when she felt loved.
Finally, it illuminates the bathroom - unlit by artificial light, it’s a little dimmer than the rest of the suite, meaning the only light that reached Momo’s naked, wet skin is that of the sun.
But you didn’t need much light. The feel of her body against yours, her arms wrapped around your neck and one leg raised against your hip, heel digging into your backside as you slid in and out of her - that was enough.
You tighten your grasp on her ass, holding her upraised leg up, opening her up further, spreading her, stretching her. Your foreheads press against each other, breathing heavily, moaning softly into each others mouths. You kiss, sometimes - little, involuntary movements, acts of affection amidst the passion. You open your eyes to find hers locked on yours, and the shower water flowing down her face makes her appear as though she’s crying. You need to touch her face, need to cradle it, need to make her feel safe. 
You raise your hand to her cheek. Her hands wind through your hair, holding your head, pressing it against her forehead again. Through it all your are fucking her softly, slowly. No teasing or edging here, no playful banter or filthy talk. It is close, intimate, raw.
“I’ll do whatever you want, you know?” she gasps, the rising tone of her voice betraying the depth of her words. “I’ll be whoever you want. Just say you’re mine, please, and I’ll be yours.”
“Momo-”
She presses a finger against your lips. There is need written on her features, of course, and pleasure and lust, but also an genuineness, a realness that you rarely saw in her. Everything about her is laid bare, and the honesty on her lips is plain to see. She meant every word she said.
“Even if you don’t, even if you don’t want me, pretend, okay?” she whispers, barely heard over the patter of the shower on your bodies. “Even if it’s not true, just say it, I need to hear you say it.”
“I’m yours, Momo. I’m yours, I swear.”
The breath leaves her lungs in a long, wistful moan as she cums around your cock. Her cunt tightens, her body quivers. Only your hands on her body keep her upright, keep her back pressed against the cool tile of the shower.
Through the haze of her orgasm she locks eyes with you, her hands cradling your face. There is nothing between you, nowhere to hide, no secrets or mysteries. It feels vulnerable and it feels safe and it feels wonderful, all at the same time.
“Cum inside me,” she says, softly, and soon enough you do, burying yourself inside her, sighing against her shoulder as you fill her yet again. She moans into your ear as you fill her, nails digging into your scalp.
Your orgasms wind their way throughout your bodies, just as they did dozens of times over the past week. But this one doesn’t last as long - perhaps it was the impending end of the week, perhaps it was the words that remained unspoken between you - either way, eventually Momo lets her leg drop from your hip, and you slide out of her body.
You both linger there awhile, the shower dousing you both. Your warm cum leaks out of her, dripping down her still-quivering thighs, joining the water trailing down her leg. She pulls you close, buries her head into your neck. Your arms wrap around each other.
“Momo,” you say, softly, some indeterminate amount of time later. Your flight home was later that morning, and you were already running later than you would have liked. “We have to-”
“I want to stay here,” she says into your neck.
“I know. But we can’t. We have to go.”
Time passes. You remain there, the both of you, breathing heavily against each other. The shower continues to run. The sun continues its advance into the bathroom, illuminating most of it now. Momo turns away from it, nuzzling deeper into your neck, knowing that its appearance signalled the end of the week, the end of the trip.
For many the Paris dawn is beautiful. For Hirai Momo, the light is merciless.
“Momo,” you begin.
“I know,” she answers.
Without any further words or looks, she leaves your arms, leaves the shower and grabs a towel on her way out of the bathroom. You hear the bedroom door shut behind her.
Your gaze follows her, watches her leave. From the doorway of the bathroom you can see the open balcony across the room, where the sun has chased away the last of the night. 
Beyond the balcony Paris continues about its day, adding another tryst, another love story - whatever word could possibly encapsulate the last week you’d spent with Hirai Momo - to the countless others it has borne witness to over the centuries of its history.
---
“So yeah, I guess I’ll see you Thursday? We’re filming the next episode of Time to Twice-”
“Yeah, yeah,” Momo answers, leaning on the doorframe of the apartment she shared with Nayeon. As much as she loved spending time with her members, she liked filming these “reality” shows much less - they were when she was expected to act like the hot but utterly clueless bimbo that the world believed her to be.
“Make sure you get a good night’s sleep the night before. I snuck a peek at the script and they need you to-”
“I know, I know,” she repeats. “Play the dumb airhead.”
You sigh under your breath, knowing how much she hated being portrayed the way she was. You wished you could tell her how much you loved seeing that other side of her - the one that was smarter than she let others believe, the one that knew about the gas lamps in Paris and could speak elementary school French. 
You both linger there in silence for a while as the words you wish you had to comfort her never materialize.
“Momo, about this past week…”
“Just two fuck buddies doing Paris,” Momo declares with surprising zest, although there was something in her eyes that doesn’t quite match with the words leaving her lips. 
“So all that stuff about-”
“Just pillow talk,” she spits, almost on reaction, as though she wanted to cut off that particular line of conversation before it got any further - or if she’d been preparing for you to raise the question and had rehearsed an answer for it. “Just stuff to get me off. Got a romance kink, I guess. Paris, city of love, city of light, you know how it is. That’s all it was. Don’t go thinking I’m in love with you, or anything.”
You aren’t sure you believe her. She felt too honest, too real, too raw on your trip. If she was faking it all - acting - then she was in the wrong profession.
“Okay, then,” you begin, slowly. “I guess I’ll… I guess I’ll see you later.”
“See ya.”
You turn away and begin to head towards the waiting elevator. Midway there you turn to find her still leaning against the doorframe, watching you. A sad smile makes its way onto her lips.
“Hey, Momo?”
She perks up, expectant.
“Thanks.”
Her smile deepens, but her eyes betray her -  there is disappointment in them, as though the word that left your mouth wasn’t what she was expecting, or hoping, to hear.
“No worries! See you Thursday,” she says, as brightly as she could, before closing the door.
She leans her forehead against the closed door for a moment, eyes closing, doing her best to process the past seven days. Her heart pounds against her chest, and she places a hand over it, willing it to calm down.
In her pocket, her phone vibrates. It’s Nayeon. She sighs as she declines the call - dealing with her was the last thing she wanted to do at the moment.
With tired legs, she shuffles her way into the living room of her apartment, where Sana is lounging on the couch with Woody, who has fallen asleep, head on her lap. The younger Japanese girl is idly scrolling through her phone, but she sets it down on the coffee table when Momo enters the living room.
“He doesn’t know, does he?” Sana asks as she begins to play idly with Woody’s hair as though he were a pet and not a whole other human being. She’s wearing only a loose t-shirt and Woody is naked aside from the throw blanket thrown haphazardly across his midsection, making it clear what they were up to mere moments before Momo had arrived.
“About what?” Momo replies, sighing to herself as she enters the kitchen to retrieve a bottle of water. The trip had left her drained, and without the energy to deal with Sana and her incessant nosiness.
“That you picked him,” Sana continues, finally looking up to fix Momo with a look. “That you picked him out at the concert that night. He should be your toy, not Chaeyoung’s.”
Momo lets out a sharp breath.
“It doesn’t matter,” the older girl replies. “He’s Chaeyoung’s now. He doesn’t need to know anything more than that.”
“But you wish he did.”
As annoying as Sana could occasionally be, she was often more adept at reading a person than the other girls were. Given how much time they’d spent together, she knew Momo better than most, making it obvious to her from the second she’d arrived what had really happened in Paris.
“He’s not hers yet, not completely,” Sana continues. “If I were you, and if you really have feelings for him, I’d tell him how you feel before Chaeyoung does. Wait too long, and she’ll have him wrapped around her dainty little fingers.”
“You’ve seen the way he acts around her,” Momo replies, setting her water bottle down on the counter and bracing herself against it with her hands, letting her head fall down between her shoulders. “He’s probably on his way to see her right now. He likes her.”
“Does he? I think you should fight her for him. She doesn’t deserve him. You do. He should be yours, not hers.”
Momo raises her head, closes her eyes. It was all too much, all too much to think about right now, minutes after getting home from one of the more eventful weeks of her life. She was exhausted, physically and mentally and emotionally. 
She looks down the hallway at the door he’d just occupied. She wanted nothing more than to return to that hotel room in Paris, with him, and…
She shuts her eyes and leaves the room, hoping some sleep would at least provide her with a temporary reprieve from the million thoughts running through her head.
When she hears Momo’s bedroom door close, Sana picks up her phone from the coffee table and brings it to her ear. 
“Did you hear that?” she asks the person on the line.
“Yes,” Nayeon answers. “That was well done.”
“Thanks, unnie. Don’t you worry - I’ll make sure those two are at each others’ throats. Whoever he ends up with, it won’t be either of them. Then he’ll be all yours for the taking.”
She begins to stand, gently lifting Woody’s head from her lap and placing it on the couch so as to not interrupt his sleep. She is still talking softly with Nayeon as she makes her way to the bathroom.
When he hears the bathroom door close, Woody, who’d been awake from the moment Momo arrived, reaches for his own phone on the coffee table. 
He begins to write a text.
---
Author’s Note: lol longest piece I’ve ever written and of course it had to be Momo. she’s the reason why I’m here, after all. :)
Be kind to yourselves and to each other. <3
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dindjarindiaries · 2 months
Text
Right Where You Left Me
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summary: Din reunites with you many years after your whirlwind romance for a mission you begrudgingly accept to help him with.
pairing: din djarin (the mandalorian) x reader
tags: angst, injuries & blood, hurt/comfort
rating: T
word count: 15.387k
main masterlist • din djarin masterlist
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As soon as you saw the flash of silver at the open doorway, you froze. Your grip on the rag pulsated, your stare assessing the silhouette that was too achingly familiar.
And immediately, you wanted it gone. Him gone.
“Get the hell out of my bar, Mando!” Your voice was a bark, as piercing as your threatening gaze. You tossed the rag over your shoulder and crossed your arms, defiant. Though you knew his real name, had even exclaimed it in private before, you still refused to out him by using it now in front of others—despite the hurt he had caused you.
Din’s amused huff wasn’t lost on you as he ignored your directive and strided into your establishment. “Nice to see you, too.”
It was only inevitable that he would show up one day, but to do so like this was simply insulting. The Din you knew was far from an asshole, but this version of him was already threatening to challenge that notion. 
“Is that beskar on your head keeping you from hearing me?” You took up the rag again and snapped it towards the doorway. Din froze and raised his gloved hands in surrender. “Get. Out.”
“I won’t stay long.” Din nodded his helmet. “Promise.” You rolled your eyes and didn’t bother hiding it from him. This was the honorable Din Djarin that you had known, and while it used to be endearing to you, it was nothing but annoying now.
“You won’t stay at all.” You narrowed your eyes at him. “I mean it.”
Din shifted his weight between his feet. You hated how it made your chest ache for him. The years hadn’t erased that tell of his. “I only need a few minutes.” His modulated voice was getting desperate. “Please.”
Of course it was working on you, but you couldn’t let it. You had spent all this time building your resolve to prepare yourself for this day, so that you could confidently turn your back on him without remorse—just like he had done to you. “You should’ve thought of that before you left.” You threw the rag at him, and he caught it without so much as flinching. “Mind wiping those tables on your way out?”
Then you did it. You turned your back on him, intent on hiding in the back room for the next standard hour or so with a glass of the galaxy’s strongest whiskey.
But the strong grasp on your wrist kept you from getting anywhere.
You spun around, your gaze a raging fire as it met Din’s cold visor. He still had the rag clutched in his free hand, and you watched his hold on it tighten in your periphery. As much as you didn’t want to admit it to yourself, the feeling of his touch still sent as many shockwaves through you now as it did years ago.
Din’s low, modulated voice broke the tense silence between you. “Please.”
Your jaw ticked as you gave him a thoughtful once-over. It was only just now that you were realizing he had an entirely new suit of armor, having exchanged the ragtag tan flight suit and mismatched red armor for brown and pure silver. Something had changed, and it was no doubt that something that had his voice so strained and desperate.
Still, you tugged your arm out of his grasp and scowled. “I never took you for the type to put your hands on someone like me without permission.”
Din’s armored shoulders deflated. “You’re right. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that.”
You waited for his excuse, but he didn’t give one. You raised your brow. “But?”
Din lifted the rag without looking away from you, his helmet tilting as he fumbled with the cloth between both his hands. “But what?”
You scoffed and shook your head, your gaze falling to the small amount of distance that was still between the two of you. “Fine. I’ll ask.”
Whether he was playing your own curiosity against you intentionally or not, it was a genius strategy. You couldn’t help yourself. You reached out for the rag and snatched it back from him, throwing it over your shoulder again and setting your weight on one hip.
“What brought you here?”
Din let out a soft sigh. His visor gave the room a careful stare before he leaned in closer. You nearly did the same out of habit. “I need your help with something.”
You crossed your arms and gestured with your chin to the doorway. “I’m retired. Can’t you tell?” You let out a terse laugh. “But of course the only reason why you’d show up here all these years later is for help.”
Din stiffened. The amount of pity you wanted to give him was exhausting. Old habits die hard. “I… didn’t think you’d want to see me.”
You lifted an eyebrow, unimpressed. “Well, thank you for making the decision for me.” You turned and started to walk back behind the counter. “You’ve lost my interest. Your few minutes are up.”
Din’s gloved hands all but slammed against the countertop. You jumped and looked at him with wide eyes. “Your research.” His voice was even lower, even more secretive, than before—but it had only grown even more desperate.
You blinked a few times, fighting against your shock. Your tone matched his when you finally found words to say. “What about it?”
Din relaxed once you spoke to him. “Do you still have the list?”
Your brow furrowed. “The list of what?”
“M-count targets.”
You stepped up to face him across the counter so fast that the end of it jutted into your stomach, but you didn’t care. Your face was only inches from his helmet when you spoke through gritted teeth. “You should know better than to say that out here in the open.”
Din was unfazed. “Do you still have it?”
You searched the horizontal section of his visor before letting out a heavy breath. Your gaze fell to your hands, which were splayed on the countertop right next to his. “Even if I did, I haven’t updated it in years. I have no idea if any of the targets are still active.”
Din took a steady breath, his visor looking to the side as he processed your words. Meanwhile, you were doing the same with this entire situation. His sudden interest in this was baffling, and there was only one conclusion you could think of for someone like him. It made you grimace even more harshly than you had before.
“You want exclusive access to track them down, don’t you?”
Din’s visor snapped back to your gaze. “No.” His tone got sharper, finally matching your own. “You really think so little of me?”
“Seeing as you left me for this line of work without hesitation or care, yeah, I guess I would consider it to be a pretty strong possibility.”
Din looked down at his hands. His armored body rose and fell with another deep breath before he changed the subject. “I had an M-count target.”
You scoffed. He was proving your words right, and you hated how devastating that really was for you.
“I didn’t realize it when I got assigned to the job. I was told the target was fifty years old. But…” Din paused, and when he went on, there was a new emotional strain to his words, “it was a child.”
Your brow jutted up at that. A fifty-year-old child was certainly new, but in this galaxy, it was definitely possible, especially if they were non-human.
“I saved him, took him on the run, and returned him to his own kind.” Din’s voice nearly broke on his last few words. You tried to picture it; Din Djarin, running around the galaxy in that old-ass Razor Crest, all while taking care of a child. It was a hilarious yet heartfelt image, because it was something only he would do, especially after what he went through as a child.
You hated that you knew that about him.
You pushed these thoughts aside and prioritized one of the many questions that lingered. “His own kind?”
Din’s helmet tilted at you, as if the answer should have been obvious. “The Jedi.”
You were the one to grab his wrist this time, tugging him along the edge of the countertop until he was next to you again. Then, you pushed open the swinging door to the back room, waiting until it closed to question him. “You were really running around the galaxy with a Jedi youngling?”
Din nodded. Your eyes doubled in size as you balled up your fists at your sides, now coming upon a new, frightening conclusion.
“Din, not every child with an M-count is a Jedi, especially not on that list!”
Din didn’t say anything, not for a long time. Your brow began to furrow in confusion more than anger until he gave his helmet a quick shake. “Sorry.” He shifted his weight.
You narrowed your eyes. “What was that?”
Din hesitated before he went on. “You said my name.”
You rolled your eyes and let out a curt laugh. “Get a grip.” You set your hands on your hips. “Did you even hear the rest of what I said?”
“Yes. I can multitask. You know that.” The urge to roll your eyes at him again was too strong, especially once your ears started to burn. “Don’t worry. I spoke directly with another Jedi, and she said that he was raised at ‘the Temple.’” He shrugged. “Whatever that means.”
You ran your hand over your face in disbelief. “You just casually ran into a Jedi? In this day and age, when the Jedi Order is all but nonexistent?”
“Actually, I’ve met two.”
You scoffed and closed your eyes, exhaling an annoyed breath before smiling sweetly at him. “Congratulations.” You grew more serious as you hardened your expression. “But my point still stands. If your plan is to get this list and try to return all these kids to their ‘own kind,’ then it won’t work. Most of these children were never Jedi.”
Din held his hands on his hips, just above his belt. “That’s not my plan.” Worry strained his voice as he went on. “I just want to make sure they’re all safe.”
You blinked at him. “That’s it?” Din nodded. “What about hunting? Don’t you need to work?”
Din tapped a pouch on his belt. “I’ve got enough credits to last me a while.”
You gave him a cautious once-over. “How?”
Din huffed. “That’s a long story, and I promised I wouldn’t take up too much of your time.” He nodded towards your desk in the corner of the room, where your datapad was sitting. “All I need is the list.”
You bit the inside of your check as you took a deep breath. The nobility and meaning of what he was doing meant too much for you to just hand him a list that hadn’t been checked in years. It could send him chasing inactive targets, wasting precious time that could be used to save children in need.
“You need more than that.” Your tone was decisive as you spoke, leaving no room for argument—though you were sure Din would try.
And try he did. “Is that so?”
“It is.” Your gaze flickered over to your datapad. “I told you before, I haven’t updated the list in years. If you’re really gonna be tracking down these targets, then it needs to be checked.”
Din nodded. “Okay. How long will that take you?”
You shook your head. “Time isn’t a factor. Distance is.” You walked off towards your desk and explained before Din could ask. “I have to cross-check the names at an Imperial terminal.”
Din’s voice was behind you, getting closer to where you now stood with your focus on your datapad. “Do you know where to find one?”
You threw him a look over your shoulder. “How else would I have made this list in the first place?” Din tilted his helmet, and you tried hard to fight your amused smile as you turned back to the datapad. “I’ve found a few, but I usually go to Ptelan.”
Din was right behind you, now. “Where’s that?”
“The whole other side of the Outer Rim.” You held back your sigh as you turned around to face Din, pasting on that sarcastically sweet smile again. “If your old-ass ship can actually make it that far.”
Din stiffened. Your mischievous grin started to fade even before he said the words in a low voice. “I… don’t have the Crest anymore.”
You attempted to keep the mood light as you opted for the likeliest explanation. “Did she finally die on you?”
Din sighed, but it was sadder than usual. “I guess you can say that.”
Your lips tightened at the thought of whatever you weren’t being told. You spoke as you opened your datapad to make sure you still had the list. “Let me just add that story to your ever-growing list.” Din chuckled, and you fought a relieved smile at the sound of it. “So, tell me about your new ride.” 
“I don’t have one.”
You paused, your gaze slowly peeling from the datapad’s vidscreen to Din’s visor. The implications of his words hit you all at once. “You took public transport to get here?”
Din set his hands on his belt. “That’s what I’ve been doing, and it’s what I’m gonna keep doing until my contact finds me another Razor Crest.”
You blew air sharply out of your nose. His stubbornness certainly hadn’t faded over the years. “So, let me get this straight.” You lowered the datapad and took a step closer to him. “You expect to show up here, years later, unannounced, have me hand over my most precious research, and then borrow my ship?”
Din’s helmet tilted. He was amused. “I never said anything about a ship.”
You laughed. “Well, you sure as hell aren’t getting to that Imperial base on Ptelan with public transport.” You waved the datapad in your hand. “And you don’t even know how to cross-check this with the terminal, anyway. This plan of yours is starting to look real lousy.”
“To be fair, I didn’t realize I was gonna need more than the list.”
You stared at him for a few solid seconds before you closed your eyes and lowered your head in defeat. Your grip on the datapad tightened as you came to terms with what you were about to say—and, more importantly, do. This is what you got for running as far away from your research as possible: a multi-day trip with your ex. 
Cursing under your breath, you circled your jaw and lifted your head back up to look at him. “The list is the least of our problems. I need to get the ship fueled up for us to go.”
Din’s gloved hands fell back to his sides. “Us?”
“I’ve seen your piloting.” You pulled the corners of your lips up in a smirk. “I’m not letting your recklessness destroy my ship.”
Din sounded concerned as he looked over his shoulder. “What about your bar?”
You shrugged. “I have plenty of managers who can step in while I’m gone. We shouldn’t be away for more than a few days, anyway.”
Din’s visor gave you a quick once-over before he nodded. “Okay.” He straightened his shoulders and tilted his helmet towards you in a way that, aggravatingly, made your knees weak. His voice was strained with meaning when he spoke. “Thank you.”
You avoided his visor as you returned his nod. “Let’s just make it quick.” You turned to your desk and picked up a datarod. “Take this and head to the hangar. My ship’s in bay three.”
You extended the datarod to him, and Din was gentle in reaching for it. His gloved fingers brushed yours as you made the exchange. You silently cursed yourself when the sensation sent a pleasant chill down your spine. Remember what he did to you, and don’t forget it.
You spun away from him again. “Get the ship fueled up while I pack my things. I won’t be far behind you.”
Din nodded, dutiful as ever. He set the datarod on his belt before he turned and strided out of the back room. As soon as the door swung closed, you braced your hands on your desk and closed your eyes to focus on your breathing.
All these years, you had planned on turning your back on him the moment you saw him. Now, you had just signed up for a multi-day mission with him. That meant seeing him constantly. Sharing an enclosed space with him. Reminding yourself of what you once had, both the good and the bad.
But what he wanted was too noble for you to ignore. You were willing to sacrifice your own heart for the safety of these children.
You pulled yourself together and packed your necessities. You triple-checked that you had the datapad in your satchel before you pushed your way out of the back room and tracked down today’s manager. The Twi’lek woman gave you a concerned look as you approached her.
“Hey, is everything okay?” Her green eyes gestured to the cantina’s entryway. “What was up with that Mandalorian?”
You sighed and wished that you knew as little about Din as she did. “Everything’s fine. Listen, I’m going on a quick trip. I’ll be back in a few days.” You nodded at her. “I need you and the others to keep this place running until then.” You tapped the comm on your belt. “You know how to reach me if you need me.”
The Twi’lek nodded, but her brow was still furrowed. She lowered her voice to a whisper. “Are you sure everything’s okay?”
You pasted on a reassuring smile and set your hand on her shoulder. “I’m sure.” You squeezed and lowered your hand back to your satchel. “I’ll see you all in a few days.”
You didn’t give yourself time to dwell on her worried expression. If you did, there was a good chance you would come to your senses and realize how bad of an idea this all was. Instead, you strided over to the entryway and walked through the door that had slid open for you.
The hangar was only a block away, and bay three was one of the first in the hangar’s circular structure. You walked in to see your faithful vessel sitting there, with Din easily maneuvering the fueling source away from the hull. Your mind was suddenly flooded with the many memories of this very same sight, but with him fueling up the Crest after yet another risky mission.
No. You didn’t want the warm, familiar fondness that was flooding through your chest. You swallowed hard and pushed it away, continuing your stride as you spoke to Din without looking at him. “Ready to go?”
Din huffed in amusement. “That was fast.” When you didn’t respond, he grew more serious. “Yeah, it’s all ready.”
“Good.” Your lips pulled tight as you dropped your satchel off in the hold. Your ship was only half the size of the Crest, considering the fact it was a singular deck as compared to two, but you still had plenty of room to work with. There was a closed refresher and more than one bunk, thank the stars, as well as a booth and a small table. This was all connected to the cockpit, which was conveniently fitted with two chairs.
As if he was always meant to be here.
You scoffed and all but threw yourself into your chair. It groaned with both familiarity and age when you turned and toggled around the controls, preparing for takeoff. Din’s bootsteps soon made their way onto the ship, and the sound was just as familiar as your chair had been. Like no time had passed at all.
Stop. You gave your head a small shake to snap yourself out of it. It’s been years, and he left you. Don’t get used to this again.
You tightened your hands around the joysticks and jerked the ship up. It was hard to fight the cruel yet amused smile tugging at your lips when you heard Din stumble somewhere behind you. He cursed before speaking up over the ship’s rumbling engines. “And you said I was a reckless pilot.”
You couldn’t hold back your curt chuckle, though you wanted to. Din took his place in the chair beside yours, but you kept your focus on the clouds you were currently soaring through. You still remembered the coordinates to Ptelan as you punched them in, even if it had been years since you last traveled there. It wasn’t long before the blue light of hyperspace was swirling all around you. It would continue to do so for nearly an entire day.
Suddenly, this ship was beginning to feel a lot smaller.
With the ship in autopilot, you rose from your chair and headed to your belongings in the hold. Out of the corner of your eye, you spotted two sparkling items leaning against the wall of the interior hull, a jetpack and a long, pointed spear. The former was something Din had been wanting for a long time.
So many stories left to tell, so much time spent apart, and yet so much distance now between you. It was hard to come to terms with that after you had once known him so well, and had him so close.
“I’m gonna freshen up,” you announced, rustling through your bag and the other compartments on the ship for your necessities. “We’ve got a while to go until we get there, so I recommend resting. I’ll make something to eat when I’m done.”
You turned to head to the refresher, but Din unknowingly stood in your way. His visor was trained on your gaze as he nodded. “Can I help with anything?”
You swallowed hard and shook your head. “No.” You brushed past him, your shoulder knocking against his arm as you did so. “I’ll take care of it when I’m done.”
You’ve done enough is what you wanted to say, but that wasn’t a conversation you really wanted to have in such an enclosed space—especially with such a long trip ahead of you. Instead, you focused on washing up, hoping you could wash your thoughts of him away with the water. The refresher, unfortunately, was even more enclosed than the rest of the ship, which was only making it harder to breathe with the knowledge of who was outside it.
It would all happen again. As soon as Din had what he wanted, he would leave. Only this time, you wouldn’t give yourself the chance to be attached, and you sure as hell wouldn’t let yourself miss him. Not anymore.
Not that you had ever healed from the first time.
It was only when you finished washing up and drying yourself off that you realized the grave mistake you had made. Thanks to how Din’s mere presence had flustered you, you had completely forgotten to bring your change of clothes in with you. And there was simply no way you were going out there in nothing but a towel.
You leaned close to the door of the refresher, your eyes closing as you thunked your forehead against the cool metal. The embarrassment was already warming the tips of your ears as you raised your voice enough to be heard. “Din?”
There was a pause before you heard footsteps shuffling by the door. “Yeah?”
The gentleness in his modulated voice threatened to ruin you. With a heavy sigh, you went on. “Turns out I do need your help.” Your voice was a sardonic laugh. “Can you grab the pile of clothes by my satchel?”
“Sure.” Din’s response was immediate. You could still hear his footsteps as they made their way across the hold and then back to the door. “There. I set them on the floor.” There was an awkward pause, accompanied by a shifting of weight. “I’m… not looking.”
You let out a more genuine laugh that time and spoke before you could stop yourself. “Wouldn’t be the first time you’ve seen me like this.”
Yeah, that was definitely the wrong thing to say. It stunned both of you into silence, but maybe that was a good thing. The towel was wrapped tightly around you as you opened the door and reached down to grab the clothes, shutting the door again just as quickly. For a moment, you leaned your back against the cool metal and let the material raise the hair on your skin. It was the cold reality you needed to ground yourself again.
You made quick work of dressing to save yourself from at least part of the embarrassment. Once you were decent, you stepped out into the hold, where you saw Din swinging his spear around. He turned to face you right away, setting the blunt end of the spear against the ground. It made a faint clanging sound, reminiscent of Din’s armor.
“That’s quite a weapon you’ve got there.” You spoke to him even while you stepped forward and focused on putting your belongings away. “Did you trade that for your rifle?”
Din didn’t answer right away. You stole a look at him over your shoulder in curiosity. His gloved hand was holding the spear even tighter, and his visor had fallen to focus on his boots. “Not intentionally.”
The pain in his voice struck you hard. You were caught between wanting and not wanting to know what happened. Curiosity and genuine concern for him were fighting a courageous battle, but your resolve to keep him at an arm’s length was even stronger—at least, for now.
You found something else to say into the strained silence. “Well, at least this one fits in with your armor a lot better.”
Din chuckled. “Yeah, I guess so.”
You listened to him shuffling around behind you as you started to prepare the broth and bread. The clink of metal told you he had set the spear against the hull again, and the shifting of weight that followed said even more. With a fond smile you couldn’t shake, you spoke to him again.
“If you really want to help…” you pushed two bowls and small plates out to the side, “you can set the table by the booth.”
Din was at your side in seconds to grab them. “Thank you.”
You huffed as he walked over to the booth. “You’re thanking me for letting you help?”
“I am. It’s rare that you ever ask for help.”
You gave the broth a harsher stir than necessary. “I didn’t ask. I offered.”
Din’s amused chuckle warmed your cold heart. “Right.”
It wasn’t long before the broth was steaming at just the right temperature. You brought it over to the table, and Din made room for you to distribute the broth equally between the two bowls. After setting a small loaf of bread on each plate, you sat down, wordlessly encouraging Din to do the same.
You were prepared to watch him eat the way he always used to around you. He would lift his helmet just enough to sip the broth and tear off chunks of the bread. That was all you ever got to glimpse of his face. His untrimmed jaw, the tip of his hooked nose, his warm lips that felt like home…
Used to feel like home.
But before you could even raise the first broth-soaked chunk of bread to your lips, you saw Din lift both hands to his helmet, preparing to slide it off completely.
Out of instinct, your free hand snapped around his wrist. Din froze, his visor finding your piercing stare. “What the hell are you doing?”
Din’s tense form relaxed, a soft laugh crackling through his modulator before the hand you weren’t restricting covered yours. “Relax, sweetheart.” The familiar nickname made your heart turn over in your chest. “This isn’t the first time I’ve done this.”
His words hit you with a dizzying amount of thoughts and emotions, but the most prominent of all was hurt. He had removed his helmet for someone else, that much was clear. Had you not been worthy enough to be the first?
You didn’t say anything in response, and you couldn’t even if you wanted to. You let go of his wrist and let him follow through on the action.
You couldn’t take your eyes off him, as much as you wanted to. Dark hair accompanied the dark stubble you had once felt against your own skin, falling in soft waves over his head and coating his upper law and jaw with sweet familiarity. The rest of the hook of his nose was long and gentle, leading up to a furrowed brow. You followed those lines to meet his eyes.
Time stalled, and your breath caught. His brown eyes had already met your stare, golden flecks glinting in the flashing blue light of hyperspace that illuminated the ship’s interior. Your gaze flickered between them, imagining all the different ways these same eyes might have looked upon you all those years ago.
You wondered if they had looked at you then the way they were looking at you now.
Din’s stare fell to the helmet he had set on the booth before focusing on the steaming broth and bread in front of him. You, however, continued to look at him, to study him. It was all you had ever wanted when he was yours, even if you had refused to confess that to him.
You were startled when Din’s natural voice broke the silence. “Your broth’s gonna get cold.” His amused tone was familiar, but seeing that same emotion in his eyes made your chest unravel with sweet warmth.
Then his words sank in, and you blinked a few times before looking down at your meal. Your ears burned both in embarrassment and from the tangible feeling of his eyes on you. “Sorry for staring. It’s just…” you stopped with your bowl near your lips to let out a soft chuckle, “I never really thought I’d ever get to see your face.”
Din offered the hint of a smile. “I understand.” He took a sip from his own bowl before raising his brow. “What do you think?” When you gave him a quizzical look, he clarified. “About what you’ve seen.”
You huffed and smirked at him. “Never took you for the type to fish for compliments, Djarin.”
Din’s face started to flush, though he tried to shrug it off. “It’s just unnerving to have eyes on me after so many years of not being seen. But I’m trying to get used to it.”
You finished chewing a piece of bread before freeing the simple question from your tongue. “Why?”
Din exhaled, his lips pressing into a firm line before he chuckled. “Add that to your growing list of stories that I owe you.”
You laughed and nodded. His response filled you with an odd sort of relief. He was promising an answer, and that meant it wasn’t something he wanted to keep from you.
The rest of your meal was eaten in silence, with you stealing looks at Din whenever you thought you could afford them. He was the first to finish, clearly hungrier than he would have ever let on about. You tried to suppress the natural worry that festered in your chest for him as you watched him stand from the booth.
“I’m gonna wash up, if that’s okay.” Din gestured with his head to the refresher.
You nodded. “Of course. I left my stuff in there, so feel free to use it. I’ll just be resting if you need something.”
Din bowed his head in gratitude. He took his dishes and rinsed them out first before disappearing inside the refresher. You closed your eyes and steadied yourself with a breath, but the backs of your traitorous eyelids continued to show you the image of Din’s face anyway.
If that was all you could see whenever you closed your eyes, then you didn’t have a single chance of earning rest on this trip.
You focused on your mundane tasks and lost yourself in the routine. After washing out your own dishes, you set up the bunks, hoping to at least get some sleep during the course of this lengthy journey. A few minutes spent in your bunk, however, proved that rest would be impossible right now.
You took to pacing and flipping your blade in the air, warming yourself up for any potential fight that would come should things go south on Ptelan. They hadn’t before, but there was certainly a first time for everything. There was too much on your mind that threatened to drown you, and focusing on the shifting of your blade offered an escape.
Until the refresher door opened at the same time you paced forward, and you ran straight into Din’s firm form.
Even worse, as you clutched your blade and took a step back, you realized that he was more vulnerable to you now than before. His soft waves were wet enough to leave droplets streaming onto his forehead and face, and you followed one that fell down his jaw and over his completely exposed chest. Tanned, scarred skin was shining from the refresher’s humidity, ending only where Din had the towel he was borrowing around his waist.
And you were breathless. If you couldn’t stop staring before, you sure as hell couldn’t stop now.
“I’m sorry.” Din stammered. His face was even redder than it had been before, his gaze wandering. “I was… I needed to grab my blade so I could shave, and I thought you would be asleep.”
You managed to let out a curt chuckle. “Well, I’m awake.” It was then that his words hit you. “Wait, your vibroblade? For shaving?”
Din just shrugged.
“Absolutely not.” You spun around and headed towards one of your miscellaneous cargo crates. “I think I have one somewhere around here.”
“Have what?”
You scoffed. “A blade meant for shaving.” You found what you were looking for and checked it over to make sure it was clean. Din’s brow was furrowed now as you walked over to hand it to him. “You can keep it.”
Din looked between you and the blade. “You just happened to have one of these on hand?”
You shrugged and crossed your arms. “Someone must have left it here.”
Din didn’t respond right away. You watched as his brown gaze darkened, a change barely visible in the blue light illuminating the hold. “Who?”
“Don’t know.” You raised an eyebrow at him. “Why does it matter?”
Din’s stare cut away from you, and it was the tick in his jaw that made the realization fall upon you.
You let out a scornful laugh and shook your head. “No, you do not get to be jealous.” Din’s gaze snapped back to you. You pointed an accusatory finger towards him. “May I remind you that it was you who left me, not the other way around?”
Din’s jaw circled as he kept focusing on something behind you. “You don’t have to remind me about the worst mistake I ever made.” His brown eyes found you again, both his words and his stare knocking the breath from your lungs. “I already think about it all the time.”
Your lips stretched in a heartless smile. “And yet it still took all these years for you to show up, Djarin. You’re gonna have to do better than that.”
Din stiffened, an action that was even more visible with the muscles rippling under his skin. You swallowed hard and forced yourself to change the topic, your focus going back to the blade in his hand.
“Do you know how to use one of those?”
Din’s own stare lowered to the blade in his hand as he shrugged. “I’ll figure it out.”
You snickered. “Yeah. I guess if you could use a vibroblade to shave, you can use anything.” Din let out his own huff of amusement as you studied the small scars on his face. You kept your tone amused as you gestured to what you were seeing. “I’m willing to bet half of those are from shaving.”
Din actually laughed at that, a sound that ignited a pleasant shockwave along your spine. “Surprisingly, no, I’ve never managed to nick myself badly enough to leave a scar.”
You furrowed your brow. “So, these are all from what? Taking hits to your helmet?” It was hard to understand how something as impenetrable as beskar could still leave his face vulnerable to scarring.
Din nodded. “Only in serious cases.” His gaze had fallen to the blade in his grasp again, as if he was growing shy under your observant eye.
But you couldn’t keep it from wandering. Your stare found a long scar across the bridge of his nose, one you certainly hadn’t seen before in those rare times when he would accidentally slip his helmet up a little too far. “How did you get this one?” You couldn’t keep yourself from reaching out to brush your fingertips along it.
Din drew in a quiet breath, and out of your periphery, you could see his chest stall for a moment. His brown eyes found you again, the warm depths of his gaze pooling into yours as he responded in a soft voice. “I got caught up in an explosion on Nevarro.” Your eyes widened. “I almost didn’t make it out, but…” he chuckled, “ironically, it was a droid who saved me.”
Your hand was still raised, fingers trailing over the smooth skin along his cheekbone as you grimaced. The worried question fell from your lips before you could stop it. “You almost died?”
Din’s gaze softened at the breathlessness of your words. You hated it, this constant worry and concern for one another, but you couldn’t stop it. As much as you had tried to bring yourself to despise him over the years, it had never worked, and knowing he had almost died in your absence was frighteningly unnerving.
Din tried to lighten the mood with a small smile stretched across his lips. “It’s not like I haven’t almost died before.”
You gave your head a small shake and let yourself get lost in the movement of your hand, which was now settling more firmly upon his cheek. “But I wasn’t there this time.”
Din’s hand wrapped gently around your wrist. His words were firm yet so achingly soft and genuine. “That’s my fault, darling.” He began to run his hand down your arm, his rough fingertips skimming the exposed skin that led up to the short sleeve of your casual tunic. “Not yours.”
And there it was, your ultimate undoing, the thing that had always made Din so different from anyone else. He owned up to every mistake he ever made. Usually, he would do whatever it took to make it right, which is why it stung even more that he had never bothered to come back for you over the course of all these years.
But that harsh reminder wasn’t on your mind right now. All you could think about was the electricity crackling between the two of you, the touch of your hands igniting sparks that drew you closer to one another. He was becoming dangerously irresistible, especially with the weight of such sweet familiarity sitting between the two of you.
It was worse now that you could actually see him. The longing in his eyes, the way they darkened as he mused upon whatever desires he had for you and flickered between your own eyes and lips…
Just like that, you were running back to him, back to the familiar and the home you had once made in him. He did the same and met you in the middle, his parted lips meeting yours and sealing the gap between you.
Unfortunately, it was the most complete you had felt ever since he had left you.
Your hand slid from his cheek to the damp, brown waves that fell over his ear, and the other ran over his scarred chest towards the back of his neck. You wanted him impossibly close, as if having him there would erase the years you had to spend without him. Din reciprocated the feeling with his own gestures, one of his hands also wrapped around your neck as the other held the rib cage that protected your wildly racing heart.
Before you could stop yourself, you pulled him backwards, and he followed. Two long strides with Din’s arms supporting your weight was all it took to set your back against the cold, metal hull. Your toes had been dragging against the floor with the ease of his grasp, but he helped you steady yourself on your feet without once having to separate his lips from yours.
But that stability was lost just as quickly the moment his tongue pushed through your parted lips. He could still devour you like no one else, doing so with a reverence that purified you. All the consequences of these actions were forgotten as your hand in his hair pulled him even closer, and he relented, his hips marrying yours.
It was that, and the hand that was now lowering from your neck along the curve of your spine, that forced you to break away from him with a breathless gasp of your only conceivable thought. “Din…”
Din. The man who was making you feel a way you only had years ago. The same man who had left you alone in your bed the morning he left and never came back.
What the hell am I doing?
The thought was enough to break you out of your lustful haze. Your eyes doubled in size as you lowered both hands to Din’s bare chest and pushed him back. He stumbled but easily got his footing, his own eyes widened as he held his hands up in surrender. The two of you were heaving from both the heat of the moment and your sudden outburst.
You wanted to speak, but you were thrumming with so many emotions that it was hard to choose just one. Din blinked a few times, one hand running through his damp hair as he also tried to find his voice. “I’m… I’m sorry.” He exhaled a breath and closed his eyes, leaving his hand in his hair. “I don’t know what came over me.”
You scoffed. “Yeah, that was pretty fucking bold.” The ferocity of your words made Din’s eyes fly back open as his surprised stare met yours. “In fact, all of this is.” You waved a hand to the rest of the open hold. “This stunt of yours. Convincing me to come along with you somehow.”
Din shook his head. “That’s not—.”
“No.” You held up your hand to stop him. “It’s my turn to have the final word, since you so kindly didn’t give me a chance to the day you left.”
Din deflated at the truth of your words, but his sense of honor wouldn’t win you over this time.
“If you think that you can make things right by just showing up after all this time and apologizing, you’re wrong.” You hardened your expression. “If it’s my forgiveness you’re looking for, you’re never gonna find it.” You lowered your voice as it trembled in pure rage and true hurt. “Not even after slipping off that helmet for me.”
Din flinched, but there was no anger to be found in his expression. He simply nodded, bowing his head and drawing the blade you had given him from where he had slipped it between his body and the towel that still covered him. “Thank you for this.” Din gave the blade a small wave.
You gave him no response, instead crossing your arms as your gaze avoided him.
Din turned back towards the refresher, but he stopped himself before he walked through the door. “All I want is that list. As soon as you get it, I’ll leave, and I’ll make sure you won’t ever have to see me again if that’s what you want.” His voice wasn’t full of any bitterness. Instead, it was strained by his genuine desire to fulfill your wishes.
Din waited for your answer, but you didn’t have one to offer him. What you wanted was becoming more and more difficult to decipher, and this kiss had only made things even more complex. Din took your silence as your response and stepped inside the refresher, closing you off from him.
You lifted a hand to your face and closed your eyes, exhaling and wishing all your tumultuous thoughts and emotions would go with your breath. You were consumed with waves of anger and guilt for the things you had said and done. It was easy to hate Din at a distance, but having him back reminded you of exactly how much you had lost the first time he left.
Maybe it was really just the why you had been looking for all this time.
You numbly drifted back to your bunk, laying yourself upon it even though sleep was the last thing you were capable of doing. It was easier to hide from Din that way, to avoid the devastation he had hidden within the brown depths of his eyes that you had only just seen for the first time today. You had waited all these years to hurt him the same way he had hurt you, but now that you had taken the opportunity to do so, it didn’t feel nearly as fulfilling as you had hoped.
You were on your side facing the interior hull when you heard the refresher door open again. Din wandered to somewhere in the hold before he made his way to the bunk you had made up for him. It was built into the hull just beside yours, leaving one metal barrier between you. That wasn’t nearly enough to ease the tension that suffocated the air of your already modestly-sized ship.
You closed your eyes and flopped onto your back, letting out a sigh before you spoke loud enough for him to hear. “I’m sorry for what I said.”
Din’s response was immediate. “Don’t be. You were right, and I deserved that.”
You pressed your lips into a firm line and stared too closely at the top of your bunk. There were a dozen questions floating through your mind, but only one managed to free itself onto your tongue. “Can I just know why?”
You heard a shifting in Din’s bunk before he spoke. “What do you mean?”
You closed your eyes in a vain attempt to ward off your sudden embarrassment. “Why did you leave?”
Din was silent for a long moment. After a steady exhale, he finally said the words that your every breath hung from. “I shouldn’t have.”
You huffed. “That wasn’t the question.”
Din hummed, as if he was considering chuckling and thought better of it. “Right.” He took another brief pause. “I… was scared.” Your brow jutted up at that. Those were three words you had never heard your Mandalorian utter before. “I thought that pursuing the line of work I had been training all my life for would put you at risk. So, I did what I thought was best for you.”
“And left me without even trying to talk about it.” Your words weren’t as sharp this time, but they were still truthful. “You took my agency from me with that decision, Din.”
“I know.” Din’s voice was pained. “I’ve done more cruel things in my life than I’d like to admit, but… that was my cruelest.” He took another breath. “And I’ve regretted it every day since.”
You sighed, and oddly, the ever-present knot within your chest loosened. His words brought you a clarity and closure you hadn’t realized you needed. It wasn’t anything you had done that made him leave.
You blinked a few times and found your voice. “Thank you for telling me that.” You imagined Din nodding in response, whether he actually did or not. You took his silence as an invitation to change the topic. “Now, I believe you still owe me a few more stories.”
Din chuckled. The lighthearted nature of it filled you with relief. “Which one first?”
“Let’s go in order.” You thought back to the first mystery he had mentioned. “Tell me about your M-count target.”
It took a while for Din to say something. When he did, his voice was even lower than before. “Grogu.”
You furrowed your brow. “What?”
“That’s his name. Grogu.” You smiled at the sudden fondness in his voice. “He’s tiny, and green, and he’s got these petal-shaped ears. Really big eyes, too.”
“What species is he?”
“Don’t know. Pretty damn cute, though.”
You laughed at that.
“The first Jedi I talked to said that he was raised at ‘the Temple’ and somehow escaped after the Clone Wars ended. It was about a standard year ago that I found him on Arvala-7. He was being hunted by the Empire for his blood, just like you had talked about with your research.”
You began to put the pieces together. “So, that’s why you’re doing this.”
“I don’t want any more kids to go through what he went through.”
You beamed, rolling onto your side so that you were facing the hold. “You really care about him.”
You noticed Din shift his legs to kick them out over the edge of the bunk, putting just a small sliver of his profile into view as he looked down at his hands in his lap and nodded. “I do.” He lifted his hand to run the back of his thumb over his forehead. “It wasn’t easy giving him over to the Jedi. I… still miss him.”
The corners of your mouth turned up in a soft, sad smile as you sat up on your own bunk. You mirrored his position, glancing over at him and hoping he could sense your comforting stare. He did, and this time, you were more content to let yourself drown in the warmth of his brown gaze. “I’m sure he misses you, too.” You looked down at your hands in sudden shyness. “I know the feeling.”
Silence blanketed the hold as the two of you processed your heavy words. You cleared your throat when it became too much.
“Okay, now that that’s covered… what about all those pretty little credits in your pocket?”
Din laughed. “I don’t know if you’ll believe me when I tell you.”
You raised an eyebrow at him. “Is that a challenge, Djarin?”
Din gave his head a fond shake. “No. It’s just…” he exhaled and nodded once down at his lap, “I turned Moff Gideon over to the New Republic.”
You racked your brain for a memory to match the name to. “Gideon? Isn’t he…” you trailed off, still searching.
“The Imperial who led the Purge on Mandalore.”
You looked over a Din with disbelieving eyes. “How the hell did you manage that?”
Din’s jaw tightened. “He was the same one who was after Grogu, and he had taken the kid from me. I found a way to his light cruiser and detained him.”
Your brow shot up. “By yourself?”
“Well, I had some help.”
You splayed your palms out on the bunk behind you and leaned your weight upon them. “Sounds like another story we have to add to the list.” You both chuckled, despite the small ache in your chest. Gideon had taken so much from Din and his people, and you suddenly began to wish you were there for Din when he had to face him. “What about the Crest?”
Din inhaled air through his teeth. “Yeah, that one connects to the pulse rifle story, actually.”
“Ooo, a crossover event.”
Din chuckled, but the sound wasn’t as amused as you had hoped it would be. “It was destroyed by the Empire.”
Your eyes widened at him as your heart plunged into your stomach. “Destroyed?” It was hard to imagine the home Din had made on the Razor Crest being gone, especially with such a violent fate. “How?”
“Gideon’s cruiser made a single shot. That was all it took, really. I lost everything except that spear.” Din pointed at the spear that still rested against the hull before he drew something from a pocket on his belt. “And this.”
You narrowed your eyes as you studied the spherical object in his fingers. “What is it?”
Din steadied himself before he squeezed the metal in his palm. “The shifter knob. The kid loved playing with this thing.”
You softened, smiling as you scooted yourself just a bit closer to his bunk. “I’m glad it survived, then.” You glanced down at your feet, watching as they kicked in the open air. “I’m sorry to hear about the Crest, though. I know how much that ship meant to you.”
Din shrugged. “At least no one was hurt.”
No one but you. It wasn’t hard to imagine how Din had reacted to what happened. On the outside, he put his head down and kept going, but on the inside… it was like losing another home all over again. Like Aq Vetina, the childhood that was torn away from him.
And you hadn’t been there for him.
But that had been his choice, and he had acknowledged that. He chose on your behalf, and he would have to live with that burden, not you. It still didn’t make it any easier to deal with.
Forcing all these complicated thoughts away, you focused on the story you desperately needed to hear, your gaze studying the sharp and gentle curves of his face as you prepared to say it out loud. “What about your helmet?” Your follow-up question came out quieter than you wanted it to. “Who was it for?”
Din’s stare caught yours, and the comfort you found there washed over you in a soothing wave of relief. “It was for Grogu.”
You exhaled a light, silent breath you hadn’t realized you were holding. You may have chastised Din earlier for being jealous, but the truth was you were harboring that very same feeling at the thought of another lover seeing his face before you.
“It was the only way I could find Gideon after he took the kid.” Din’s focus fell to his hands, which were fumbling together on his lap. “I needed to get the coordinates from an Imperial terminal, probably like the one you use on Ptelan, and it required a facial scan.”
“Yeah.” Your voice was a mere breath. “That’s pretty standard protocol for those things.”
“I was hoping to get it done quickly enough to not be noticed, but… an Imperial commanding officer saw me. A drink and some blaster fire later, only one other person who had seen me kept breathing.”
You lifted an eyebrow. “One of the aforementioned allies?”
The corner of Din’s mouth raised slightly as he shrugged. “I guess you could call him that.” He grew more serious as he went on. “Then, when I was saying goodbye to the kid, he wanted to see my face.” Din nodded to himself. “So, I showed him. Grogu and the Jedi both saw my face, and a few others were in the room, too.”
You waited to see if he was done, and when he didn’t continue, you blew out a heavy breath. There was only one word you could come up with. “Wow.”
Din huffed. “Yeah, the feeling’s mutual.”
You gave him a once-over. “So, what’s up with the Creed now? Can you just start showing your face more regularly?”
Din shook his head. His brown eyes were lost, missing that golden sparkle you had already come to adore, as much as you tried not to. “I don’t know. I’ve been trying to find my covert, or at least what’s left of it, but—.”
“What’s left of it?” Your eyes widened in shock.
Din looked up at you with a wrinkled brow. There was an invisible burden weighing his shoulders down even further, and a remnant of grief in his gaze that struck you like a blow to your gut.
You softened. “I’m assuming that’s another story?”
Din forced out a chuckle. “A quick one.” He closed his eyes and let his head fall again, his chin tucked towards his chest. “Most of the covert was wiped out after they revealed themselves to help me get away from Nevarro with the kid.”
Your chest caved in with the heavy weight of sorrow. The urge to reach out and touch him had never been so strong. “Din… I’m so sorry.”
He shook his head. “It was their choice. They knew the risk, and I hadn’t even asked them for help. But…”
You know me. Those were the unspoken words that floated in the tense air between the two of you, now composed of something more familiar and wholesome than the anger that had transpired before. And it was true, you did know him, which is how you recognized the guilt that was painted all over his expression even if you had never seen it on his face before.
Din was clearly ready to move past the topic. “Anyway, it’s…  yeah. It’s complicated. All this shit with the Creed.” He snorted. “Never thought I’d be in this position.”
You raised an eyebrow at him. “It has its advantages.”
Din gave you a hopeful glance. “Yeah?”
“Yeah.” You leaned close enough to playfully rap your fingers against his arm. “As pissed as I still am about it, that was a hell of a kiss, Djarin.”
Din’s face began to flush even as he gave you a once-over. “I had a lot of years I was trying to make up for.”
You twisted your lips at that. Ignoring the small spark of hope that burned inside your belly, you prepared to snuff out his own hopeful flame. “Din…”
“I know.” He sighed. “I’m a few years too late. I made that choice for both of us when I closed the door on what we had.”
You studied him for a long moment, your eyes still addicted to the sight of his face. Learning the tells in his expression was both easy and enjoyable, from the small tugs he gave the corners of his mouth to the furrow in his brow that had become almost permanently etched there. It was then that you thought back to the moment when you first saw him earlier, remembering how he had responded to your initial observation of him.
“I like it, by the way.”
Din’s brow knit together. You chuckled and set aside your pride as you continued.
“What I’m seeing.” You waved a hand over your own face for reference. Din began to flush even more as he smiled shyly down at his hands in his lap. “A lot, actually.”
Din beamed. “That means a lot coming from you, sweetheart.”
You tried, and failed, to ignore the burn that crept up your neck towards your ears. Your smile was impossible to repress as his words filled you with an intoxicating feeling that made you remember why it was so damn hard to cope with him leaving all those years ago. He was the heartbreak you could never quite get over, because he made you feel like you were his whole galaxy.
But one creeping thought broke you out of this trance and stole the smile from your lips. You watched your hands run over your thighs before you got the words out. “You had to go through all of this alone.”
Din tensed, a movement you saw in your periphery that broke your heart all over again. He steadied himself with a breath before responding. “I chose to be alone.” His tone told you everything his words hadn’t: I wish I chose differently.
You closed your eyes, overwhelmed by the tragedy of it all. “I would have stayed, you know. I would have been there with you through all of it if you let me.”
“I know.” The strain of Din’s voice drew your stare back over to him. The way his handsome features were pulled taut in guilt and regret shattered you. “But that’s my burden to bear, not yours.”
You frowned, your sympathy for him being washed away by a new, smaller wave of frustration and anger. “That’s not true, Din.” Your use of his name earned you his gaze again. “You’re not the only one who had to live with the consequences of your choice. What you’ve gone through is way more tragic, but I still had to live on my own, too.” You shook your head at him. “And I didn’t even get a say in it.”
Din blinked a few times at you before he clenched his jaw and looked away. He dug the heels of his palms into his eyes as his shoulders shook with a trembling breath. “I know you don’t want to hear this, and you don’t have to accept it, but I’m gonna say it anyway.”
Din lowered his hands and folded them together, keeping his elbows against his knees as he spoke to the open air of the hold.
“I’m sorry.” His devastated yet sincere brown gaze looked in your direction, but it couldn’t quite meet yours. “I thought I was making a selfless choice, but it was actually a selfish choice. I gave in to my own fear instead of letting you help me through it. I made a decision that we should’ve made together, and what I chose ended up hurting you worse than the alternative would’ve.” He let out a self-deprecating chuckle and ran the back of his thumb over his forehead. “And I’m so fucking sorry for that.”
You had always imagined how good it would feel to hear him try to apologize for what he did without giving him the relief of forgiving him, but as it turned out, you didn’t know him as well as you thought you did. These words were nothing but sincere, and the true remorse within his gaze was impossible to ignore. Din had been mulling over what he did the same way you had ever since he left.
It wouldn’t solve every problem, and it certainly wouldn’t erase all the pain of the last few years, but you were willing to at least absolve some of the suffering he had been subjecting himself to ever since.
You maneuvered yourself close enough to him and his bunk to set a reassuring hand on his shoulder. Din’s brown eyes finally found your gaze with a look that left you breathless for a moment. Once you had gotten your words back onto your tongue, you spoke in a soft voice. “I forgive you.”
Din’s stare flickered between your eyes, his shoulders and his brow lifting as the spark of hope returned. You pressed your lips in to a firm line to stave it off.
“I can’t do more than that, but… I hope that’s at least enough for you to start forgiving yourself, too.”
Din nodded earnestly. “It is.” He lifted a hand to cover yours on his shoulder. “Thank you.”
You returned his nod. It was hard to peel your gaze away from his, but you forced yourself to do it, just as you forced yourself to pull your hand away from him. “You should get some sleep. I can imagine you’ve been losing a lot of that lately.”
Din huffed. “Yeah, that’s an understatement.” He gave you a concerned once-over. “You’ll sleep, too. Right?”
This was another promise you weren’t going to make him, but he didn’t have to know that. He didn’t have to know how hard it was to sleep alone after getting to sleep right by his side for so long. “Right.”
Din nodded once more, clearly satisfied enough with your answer to push himself back into his bunk. The movement concealed him from your view once again. You did the same, letting out a soft breath as you laid your head against the pillow and stared at the shining metal above you again. Each revelation Din had shared swirled around in your mind like a frightful, galactic storm.
There was so much you had missed, so many new wounds and scars across Din’s skin and soul that you hadn’t been there to heal. It made you frustrated, but it also made you ache. Above all, it made you want to be there with him the next time something like that happened to him, to shield him from the galaxy itself.
You just weren’t sure if your heart could take it.
You closed your eyes and willed sleep to come. With the knowledge that Din was so close by, it did, and—of course—it was the best sleep you had gotten in a long time.
You woke to the sound of light clanging in the hold. Sitting up fast enough to nearly whack your head against the top of the bunk, you spotted Din with some of your cooking supplies and relaxed. He glanced at you with wide, apologetic eyes.
“Sorry.” Din chuckled as he lifted what he was holding to show you. “I was hoping you would wake up to the smell of breakfast, not the sound of it.”
You let out a curt laugh and gave your head a fond shake. “It’s okay.” You rubbed your eyes and stepped out of the bunk. “I’m gonna freshen up and see how much time we have left.”
Din nodded as you stepped away to the refresher. It didn’t take long to reset yourself, and you were surprised to see that you only had another hour left of the trip. Thankfully, there wouldn’t be much to brief when it came to the actual mission. You would go in while Din guarded the ship, and after a few minutes, you would come back. Simple as that.
Stars willing.
You went back to the hold, where Din was just finishing with whatever he had fixed up for breakfast. “Thanks so much for doing this, Din.”
Din spared you a smile as he finished plating the meal. “It’s the least I could do to repay you for this.” When he spotted your furrowed brow, he waved a hand to the rest of the ship. “Coming all the way out here with me to get this list.”
You chuckled as you nodded to yourself. “Right.” You kept your tone playful as you accepted the dish he passed you. “It was for the kids, Djarin, not you.”
But Din just kept smiling, his admiration of you so obvious that it made your ears burn. “I know.”
You looked down, bashful, and started to eat your meal. Din did the same, and the two of you ate in peaceful, comfortable silence. It was so nice to have the tension between the two of you resolved, as if the weight of your past had finally been lifted and set you both free. You weren’t sure yet what the future would look like, especially with this mission on the forefront of your mind, but that didn’t matter. Sharing the same space with him was enough for now.
Once you had both finished, you got down to business. “We’re just under an hour away, now.”
Din’s brow shot up. “Wow.” He gestured towards the cockpit. “She’s a hell of a lot faster than the Crest ever was.”
You laughed. “Well, that’s because she’s not an ancient gunship that has to tow massive amounts of cargo and weaponry around.”
Din chuckled and raised his hand. “You got me there.”
You smiled and shook your head, forcing yourself to focus again. “It should be a quick and easy retrieval. You’ll stay on the ship and I’ll head inside to the terminal. I’ll only need a few minutes to cross-check the list.”
Din’s brow wrinkled in concern. “Are you sure you want to go alone?”
“I have to. It’s what I used to do before.” You shrugged. “Haven’t run into any problems doing this yet.”
Din released a steady breath, leaning closer to you without invading your space. “That wasn’t the question.”
You blinked at him, musing upon the same words you had thrown at him last night. You had been avoiding the truth without even realizing it. It had been years since you retired from missions like these, and that made the likelihood of something going wrong much greater. The quiet, creeping chill of fear and dread began to snake up your spine.
Din read your hesitance just as well as he read the rest of you. His hand found your shoulder just as yours had found his last night. “I’ve gone in disguise as an Imperial before, remember? When I first took off my helmet.” He nodded at you. “I’ll do it again if you want me too.”
You wanted to melt at his selflessness and the comfort his gaze was offering you, but instead, you held onto your resolve and shook your head. “I only have one Imperial uniform.” You set a hand over his. “I’ll be fine. I’m just second guessing myself.”
Din held your gaze so intensely that you couldn’t look anywhere but at him. “If anyone can pick up exactly where they left off like this, it’s you.” He offered another reassuring nod. “And I’ll be right here, ready to provide backup if I have to.”
You smiled, gently easing his hand off of you as his words sank in. “Thank you, Din.” You let out a sigh and willed your complicated emotions to go with it. “Let’s look at the schematics.”
Din accepted your topic change with grace, and he followed you up and over to the cockpit. You were able to pull up the schematics of Ptelan’s tiny, Imperial base in blue holographic light, both the hangar and the terminal marked by red dots. You talked him through the entire process, from your disembarkation to the data retrieval and exit. So long as nothing had changed too drastically over the years, it would only take a few minutes.
“I’m gonna get changed.” You gestured with your head to the refresher.
Din nodded. “I’ll clean up and help get things ready.” His gaze cut towards the dishes that still sat out in the hold.
You offered him a smile of gratitude before standing and digging through the cargo crate that contained the dusty Imperial uniform. Brushing it off and double-checking that you had all the pieces, you stepped into the refresher and exchanged your clothes for the stiff uniform. You smoothed out all the wrinkles and straightened your posture, recalling all the things that used to be like second nature to you.
A new wave of dread overwhelmed you enough to force your eyes shut. You steadied yourself with a deep breath. Think of the kids. They need you.
Then it was Din’s words that ran through your mind next. I’ll be right here.
You relaxed. You weren’t alone anymore—at least, not right now. It was more comforting than you cared to admit.
You gained enough faith to finally reemerge from the refresher. Din had already cleaned everything up and was running more drills with his spear when he caught sight of you. He stopped, his stare leaving a warm trail over your body that you tried, and failed, to ignore. You wondered if he understood the power of his gaze without a helmet to hide it.
“What do you think?” The question slipped past your lips before you could stop it. You acted casual as you put your normal clothes away and slipped your weapons into their proper places.
“Honestly?” You glanced at him over your shoulder and nodded. “I think you make everything look good.” You beamed at that. “But seeing you in one of their uniforms is… unnerving.”
You huffed. “Yeah, you and I are in agreement on that.”
The last thing you checked for were your code cylinders, which were thankfully all aligned inside your pocket. You grabbed your datapad and headed towards the cockpit, with Din following close behind.
“We’re almost there.” You sat down and fixed your attention to the comlink on your belt, removing their earpiece and fixing it into its proper place. “Let’s get you set up on the proper comm frequency, then we’ll be ready to land.”
Din nodded, obediently following all your instructions before he slipped his helmet back on and did a test run of the comms. He kept it on as the ship dropped out of hyperspace and headed towards the rainy world of Ptelan.
You had refreshed yourself on all your codes and protocols before, but they still came easy when you were prompted by their comms tower. It was too easy getting assigned to a bay inside the hangar and landing. The hardest part was taking a deep breath and preparing to disembark.
Din stood at the same time you did, his gloved hand finding your shoulder again as he gave it a gentle squeeze. “I’ll be ready.” He nodded to affirm his words. “But you’ll be fine.”
You nodded. There had always been something about him that made you want to embrace your vulnerability, to confess every uncertain thought you had to him and let him fix it. This, however, wasn’t the time. You were more than capable of doing this before, and you would do it again.
“I’ll let you know if I need you.” You tapped your ear as you said the words. Din nodded once more, and as you stepped away to lower the hatch and set off on your small mission, you felt the warmth of his brown gaze behind his visor following you the entire way.
You didn’t want to stop feeling, not now, not ever, and certainly not after this little trip of yours was over. But there wasn’t enough time to dwell on that right now.
Your face went stone cold as you descended the ramp. The usual small group of Imperials came to greet you, a lower-ranking officer flanked by two stormtroopers. You nodded at them and stopped when they stood in your path.
“Welcome to Ptelan,” the officer greeted you. “What’s the reason for your visit?”
“A layover.” You gestured back to your ship. “I’ve spent a fortnight dealing out undercover inspections on various worlds, and Ptelan was the closest outpost for me to rest for a time.”
The officer nodded. “Understood. I don’t envy your position.”
You huffed, the dignified version of a laugh. “Nor do I yours. This planet is quite dreary.”
The officer snickered. “That’s an understatement.”
He stepped aside, letting you through. You steadied yourself with a breath as you walked forward, charting out the path a million times inside your mind. The mess hall wasn’t too far from the hangar, and given how unpopulated this particular outpost was, it was unlikely the terminal you needed was being used. Only a few minutes stood between you and the trip back home.
The trip when you would have to come to terms with Din leaving you again. 
You gave your head a small shake and willed your thoughts to dispel from your clouded mind. It would take all your focus to cross-check this list as quickly as possible, and you weren’t intent on spending an extra second you didn’t have to inside that Imperial base.
The mess hall was quiet, aside from the sounds of the few dispersed Imperial officers and stormtroopers eating their mediocre meals. You headed straight for the terminal, never once breaking your stride as you withdrew the datarod from your pocket. Each breath you took was magnified inside your own ears, the air rushing through your lungs in thunderous waves.
The work was instinctual, mechanical. Your face was scanned, and you tapped through the information to find what you were looking for. A few sly codes later, the updated list of names was running over the vidscreen, and you synced it with your datapad to correct the information you already had.
Just like always, you were done in a few minutes. You exhaled a light sigh of relief as you withdrew your datarod and stuck it back in your pocket. It would be your backup of the data in the event something happened to your datapad, which meant that you were keeping it just as safe as the device tucked in your arm as you turned around to leave.
Before you could slip out, an officer twice your size stepped in, trailed by two stormtroopers as he smirked at you. You stopped just a few feet short of running straight into him, straightening your posture even more and forcing yourself to make direct eye contact.
“Lieutenant.” The man’s voice was arrogant and low as he gestured with his gaze to the squares on your left chest. “You look to be in a hurry.”
You bowed your head for a moment. “Just eager to get some rest, sir.”
“What brings you to Ptelan?”
You repeated what you had told the first officer before. “A layover.”
The officer tilted his head. “From where?”
You told him the first planet name that came to mind. It was near the system, but lacked a strong Imperial presence from what you knew. You held your datapad closer to keep your hands from trembling.
“Ah.” The officer took a step closer to you, and you fought the urge to take a step back. “What did you need the terminal for?”
You lifted your chin higher. “I’m afraid that’s only for my commanding officer to know, Captain.” You narrowed your eyes just enough to look arrogant rather than aggressive. “Our work is delicate.”
“Do you see my rank, Lieutenant?” The captain’s lip snarled. “I am your commanding officer.”
Your jaw tightened. “If you must know, Captain, I was merely confirming the coordinates of my next few inspections.”
The captain reached out a hand to tap your datapad. “Show me.”
You swallowed hard and assessed the room all in a quick moment. He didn’t have much backup, and the few Imperials who had been in the mess hall when you entered were gone. There were only one or two more lingering, their attention drawn to the scene the captain was creating. It would be easy to take all these men down, and as long as you could still run as fast as you used to be able to, you would get to the ship no problem.
It was a split-second decision you had to make, and you did so without hesitation.
You drew your blaster and shot at the captain’s chest, needing him to be fully out of commission due to the size advantage he had on you. The two stormtroopers lunged towards you, but you ducked and turned just in time to shoot one of them down. The other began firing shots that you had to focus on dodging before you could take cover behind a nearby bench and take him down with another shot.
Only the two others in the room were left. You drew a blade from your boot and threw it at one of them, sinking it into the center of their chest as the other received a clean blaster bolt to theirs.
You only spared enough time for a few quick breaths before rising to your feet and running towards the exit. Din had been right; you weren’t so rusty after all.
The thought of him led you to lift your hand to your ear and speak. “Din, get the ship ready for takeoff. I’m—.”
You were forced to cut yourself off and come skidding to a stop when an entire team of stormtroopers stepped out in front of you. Backtracking towards the mess hall, you barely managed to escape their rain of blasterfire, the shots echoing down the corridor. You picked up one of the fallen stormtrooper’s rifles inside the mess hall and jammed the blunt end of it into the panel, sealing the door shut for now—and trapping yourself inside.
With the imminent threat taken care of, you were able to focus on Din’s panicked voice inside your ear. “What is it? Are you okay? I’m hearing a lot of commotion.”
You sighed and closed your eyes. The longer you and Din both stayed here, the more time they would have to get backup, and the harder it would be to get out. He might have been ready to come to your rescue, but you weren’t willing to take that chance.
The children whose names were written inside your datapad and datarod had to come first.
“I’ve been compromised.” You said the words calmly as you strided back over to the terminal. “I’ve locked myself inside the mess hall.”
Din’s response was immediate. “I’m on my way.”
“No.” You practically bit the word out as you activated the terminal once again and began feverishly tapping around its controls. “I’m transmitting the list to the ship’s databank right now. Once it’s done uploading, you need to get out of here.”
Even the crackling of the comm channel failed to hide Din’s disbelieving tone. “What? Why the hell would I do that?”
“We don’t have time for this, Din. If you stay and help me fight, they’ll have enough time to get backup, and who knows if we’ll ever make it out of here after that. You have the chance to go now, and I’m giving it to you.” You huffed to yourself at the cruel irony of it all. “You need to leave me here.”
“That’s not an option.”
Your head snapped over your shoulder when you heard a slicing at the door. The Imperials were beginning to carve a way inside. You tightened your jaw and worked even faster, your desperation mounting. “Those kids need you!”
“And I need you.”
His words gave you pause, as if he had the ability to make the entire galaxy freeze. You blinked at the vidscreen, your brain mulling over his words endlessly. The rawness of them, the vulnerability, struck you all at once.
“I’m not making the same mistake twice. I’m not leaving you again.” Before you could even think of an argument, Din repeated his words from before. “I’m on my way.”
You closed your eyes in selfish relief. He was finally choosing you. Above all else, for better or for worse, he wanted you, even at the risk of his own safety.
It healed the last broken fracture of your heart.
But the pressing matter at hand was quick in disrupting your emotional moment. The Imperials were almost done slicing their way through, and you were standing completely vulnerable to their next attack. You dove towards the nearest table and kicked it over, drawing your blaster and leaning your back against it for cover. After a few breaths, you rose enough to prop your blaster on top of the table, aiming it for whatever poor soul walked in first.
As soon as you saw the first flash of white, you pulled the trigger. The stormtrooper fell, but right behind him was a second one, a trooper who had uncharacteristically decent aim.
You ducked just in time to avoid most of the blow, but part of their blaster bolt still caught your arm. You gasped and clutched the wound with your gloved hand, baring your teeth as you glanced over at it. It had been enough to tear through your uniform and singe your skin, with a small circle of it hit bad enough to bleed.
Okay, so you were still a little rusty. But now you were also pissed off.
You set both hands on your blaster and rose again, firing in precise shots to take down two more troopers. They were the only two advancing on you, with the others distracted by something else—someone else, when you remembered you weren’t here alone.
Sure enough, there were sounds of panicked shouts and gargled last breaths, all without blaster fire. You stood and rushed out with your blaster raised to get a closer look, just in time to see Din run his spear through the last stormtrooper standing there. His visor snapped up at you before the trooper’s body even hit the floor.
“Are you okay?” Din’s modulated voice was a mere breath as he hurried over to you.
You didn’t address his question. “Let’s get out of here.”
Din’s visor found the wound on your arm in record time. “You’re hurt.”
You fought the urge to roll your eyes at him. “Barely. Come on, Mando.” You took his gloved hand and began to lead the way back to the ship. “You might love a good fight, but I’m retired.”
Din huffed at that. “I don’t love it when you’re hurt.”
You scoffed at him. “Barely!”
You tugged him along the corner hard to keep him from arguing with you further. Another team waited for the two of you there, but between you and Din, you were able to make quick work of them. You focused on aiming your blaster as Din went back in with his spear, slicing through his share until the entire team had been taken care of. With a nod, the two of you pressed on.
It was a rhythm you had been missing for a long, long time.
You turned the last corner into the hangar bay, and as it turned out, Din had already taken care of the greeting party on his way to come and assist you. You both had boarded the ship before the next wave of stormtroopers even entered the hangar, leaving their useless shots to clip the exterior hull as you pulled up on the controls and piloted the ship far away from their attack.
Inputting the coordinates back to your current homeworld, you waited to relax until the blue lights of hyperspace were flickering around you again. It was only then that you released the heavy breath you’d been holding, the adrenaline pumping through you and elevating your heartbeat inside your eardrums.
You chuckled and looked over at Din, who had assumed the same leaned-back posture as yourself. “Turns out I underestimated our abilities.” Your tone was nothing but amused as you spoke. “We didn’t have a problem getting out of there before backup arrived.”
Din snorted at that. “It’s always hard to judge how skilled these remnants will be.” He removed his helmet and set it in his lap, allowing you to openly admire his face that glowed in the aftermath of the fight. “Thankfully, Ptelan is in the middle of nowhere, and they probably didn’t want to waste resources on it.”
You hummed at that. Your order for him to leave you was starting to feel embarrassing, but everything had been charged by the past that his mere presence had dug up. The panic of something actually going wrong when it never had before only added to that.
You were about to acknowledge all this when Din spoke up first. “I’m sorry.”
You shot him a confused look. His brow was furrowed, and his gaze was downcast at his helmet. “For what?” You racked your mind for even a mere idea of what he could possibly be apologizing for. “You saved my ass back there.”
Din’s gaze found yours, and the longing there was so strong that it knocked the breath from your lungs. “I went against your wishes by not leaving.” He held a cautious breath. “I just… I couldn’t bear doing exactly what I had done all those years ago, especially after spending so much time regretting it.”
You let out a soft sigh and studied him. Din’s expression was written in guilt and remorse, both of which were so genuine that you could feel those very same emotions yourself by just looking at him. He had just proven to you that he wasn’t the same man he was when he left you, that he had learned from his mistakes and changed.
That was all you had ever wanted, and you had certainly spent enough time dwelling on the what-ifs. You wanted to know what a life with him would be like, a life where you both had made a different choice the day he left.
You stood from your chair, earning Din’s rapt attention as you peeled the helmet from his hands. Half-setting and half-tossing it onto the empty chair behind you, you took its previous place, tearing off your gloves and holding his face to bring it to yours.
There wasn’t a single ounce of regret or uncertainty in this kiss. Instead, it was a shared feeling of relief, a gesture of understanding and desperation that only brought you closer together. Using the hand that had woven into his brown waves, you tilted his head back further, deepening the kiss to prove the sentiment behind your actions.
The way Din pulled your chest against his showed his own understanding.
Still, you spelled out the words on your tongue for him to feel rather than hear, your other hand running along his jaw and gently tightening along the back of his neck. Din hummed into your mouth, the tension having melted from him completely as he melted underneath your touch.
You only pulled away when you had lost your breath, but you stayed close enough for your forehead to lean against Din’s. You opened your eyes, letting your gaze meet his up close like this for the very first time. It sent a jolt of the sweetest electricity throughout your body, proving that you were making the right choice.
“Stay.” You lifted your hand back up to his jaw and ran your thumb over his lips. “If you’re waiting for me to make the choice this time, then that’s what it is.” Your nose brushed his. “I want you to stay.”
Din closed his eyes and exhaled a breath that helped every single feature of his face relax. The small smile that began to tug at the corners of his mouth was breathtaking. “I will.” His eyes reopened to depict his severity as he nodded, minding your head against his. “And I won’t ever leave you like I did before. I promise. I swear.”
“I know.” You ran a hand over Din’s head, brushing his hair back and smiling when his eyelids fluttered in content. “You've just proven that to me.”
Din returned your smile before he kissed you again, but he kept this one brief, his sparkling gaze finding yours again. “I meant what I said the night I left.” His voice was barely a whisper, though every word he said carried its own heavy weight. “And I still do.” Your eyes were beginning to get misty from pure relief as he cradled your face. “I never stopped loving you.”
You beamed at him and whispered your own words upon his lips, the truth of them shocking you. “Neither did I.”
Even amidst all your anger towards him over the years, that love still remained, the same love that seeped into this kiss that could finally take its time. He had carved a part of himself into your heart, and that’s what had made it so difficult to watch him leave. But you knew he wouldn’t do it again. You knew he would stay by your side at all costs this time.
But above all, you knew that he would protect you from the galaxy, and he would no longer doubt his own ability to do so—just like you would protect him, too. Whatever happened next, you were doing it together.
Thank the stars you hadn’t turned your back on that opportunity.
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main masterlist • din djarin masterlist
din djarin tag list: @yorksgirl @zenrobbins0021 @cyaredindjarin @cw80831 @maddiedrmr @pigeonmama @violetlilly2020
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lady-ashfade · 8 months
Note
so this one i stole again lol from your list. “Please go on a date with me.”
basically percy notices the reader and tries to impress her by doing crazy ridiculous things but she’s not interested because she thinks his ego is too big. finally she comes around when she sees he got hurt doing something for her to notice him. i hope that makes sense.
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Falling for you- Percy Jackson x Fem!Reader
-£ words: 900 words
-£ Warnings: Short story, Simp Percy, cute crushes, reader being a bit mean to him, percy get it hurt, fluffy fic
-£ taglist: @kazurami14 @anonymouslyawesome25 @american-idiot21
the son of poseidon was persistent.
no matter how many times you told him off, or set him running with his head running, or you leaving him alone. he always kept coming back. Percy was often knocking his opponent down in training hoping you’d see him. he did everything to try and get your attention.
his back legs curled around a tree branch where you normally took your daily stroll, he was hanging down with a huge smile on his face and his cheeks glowing red. “percy.” you greeted with a uninterested tone. he just kept that annoying big smile, “lovely day isn’t it?” the only thing you did was roll your eyes and continue to walk down the dirt path. “And you’re ruining it.”
when he first arrived at camp, he already had some sort of glory after defeating a minotaur. he just kept finding his way in danger and saving the day, time after time. but his stupid smirk or smile told you he was too full of himself. he’d making the lake waves move, or make them a shape of something. no matter what, he was showing off.
and boy did you hate it.
somehow he find his way to you and that annoyed you, it was just too much. honestly you didn’t even realize he was trying to get your attention and just thought he was showing off to everyone. and certainly you didn’t know he had a crush on you. all you noticed was his ego.
but he noticed everything about you.
the way you walked, if you held your head up high or at the ground. how pretty your face shined when the sun shined on it, and how your smile shined even brighter. he was constantly chasing after you, he was craving to get your attention. most of the time he just did what popped up in his head which for someone like him, and you, was always dangerous and over the top. he lacked self control.
how someone could be so beautiful he couldn’t understand. even when you fought, he was entranced. you could be the worst fighter and he’d stare at you like the stars in the sky. his heart belonged to you.
but this time, he had gone to far.
“you’re a idiot,” you push his head under the water as you clothes get wetter by the second of sitting in the water. the bruising on his skin and the cuts going along with it only made your heart ache worse. his stunt didn’t go so well this time, hints his fracture wrist. he took a deep breath as he came back up even though he could breath under the water. he just wasn’t thinking straight.
sitting yourself back down on the sand you click your tongue. he had challenged you to a fight with that same attitude, the same smirk, the same slick tone. he got a little to distracted near the edge. he walked backwards with his sword held pointed at you, “look at us spending time together, we should do this more often.” he really should have watched his steps because his foot finally slipped and he took a tumble down onto the rocks. you watch him slide down, his grunts of pain and the way his body sounded made you cringe
lucky he landing on the shore line and only a few feet away from the water. which is were you two stay now catching your breath and thinking to yourself. why did you care if he was actually hurt or not? not like he would die or stay injured because he always got back up. why did his smile finally get to you back then?
and why was your stomach sick.
as you thought to yourself percy watched again like he always found himself doing. he loved the look on your face when you were deep in thought. and now that your face was wet and hair hanging down he couldn’t stop himself from falling deeper for you.
“please go on a date with me.” his words cut you out of thought.
your eyes grow bigger and look at him shocked and startled. you couldn’t believe your ears. he just asked you out on a date…percy jackson asked you out. the cocky, dumb, arrogant demigod was talking to you. Why, you hate his guts and always made fun of him. he jumped up from the water and you saw his teeth pinch the inside of his mouth anxiously.
“Sorry,” he sighed. “it just came out. I’ve been trying to ask you out for weeks but i couldn’t work up the courage to ask you out, I’m not good at this type of thing.” percy jackson lacking courage? that made you laugh. you looked up at him, the sun shining behind him as his hand now extended to you offering to help you up. any other time you would have smacked it away and cursed at him to leave you alone.
“I know you probably think I’m a total idiot which is true but, I really like you. If you really don’t want anything to do with me then I respect your wishes.”
but now you realize that you actually enjoyed his company. he made camp fun and exciting. and boy, was he handsome now that you really look at him. “alright, beach boy.” you grabbed ahold of his hand as he pulls you up. your body pressed into his and knocked him back a bit but his arm grabbed ahold of your waist to steady you.
inches away from his face your lips curled in a small smirk, “You got yourself a deal.”
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illyrianbitch · 3 months
Text
An Education in Malice — Part Six
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Pairing: Vanserra!Reader x Azriel
Summary: With the sharp tongue of your notorious family, you are Azriel's most tantalizing challenge yet. It only takes one small meeting before you both realize that the line between hate and desire is dangerously thin.
Warnings: mentions and descriptions of wounds, scars, and allusions to torture, canon-typical violence, fighting, killing, death— all the fun stuff really. reader being a lil badass, az being emotionally vulnerable, a turning point in their relationship!!!!
Word Count: 9.8k this was originally going to be like 2-3 diff parts, but i loved reading it all as one, so consider this my lil offering since i disappeared for like 2 weeks <3
Part Five | Series Masterlist | Part Seven
✹ ✶ 𖧷 ✶✹ 
You always hated the ornate mirror that had stood in your room — its gaudy, gilded and tarnished frame was far too large for your liking.  You hated how much space it took up, how much of yourself you could see as you passed it. 
On most days, the female staring back at you felt like a stranger— someone wearing your face yet existing in a distant world. She moved when you did, blinked when you did, too. But she wasn’t you. And you hated it. So you didn’t often linger on your reflection. 
Except for today. 
Your hair was damp from the bath and a faint smell of sage and patchouli clung to your skin from the residue of your bath soap. 
Your eyes traced the lines of your face, following the tired shadows beneath your eyes and scars that marred the skin of your stomach. Normally, when you stood there with a focused gaze and a troubled spirit, it was because you were examining new wounds, cataloging the fresh marks left behind from nights where your father was particularly angry. All of those wounds were hidden beneath clothing, concealed where no one but you would ever see— carefully, strategically, placed. 
You’d gotten used to the marks, comfortable with them, even. There were many things in your life that weren’t yours. But these— these scarred areas of skin, these were yours. Proof that your body had worked to protect you, to fix and heal itself despite what had been inflicted unto it. And in some strange way, it made you feel less lonely. 
If it was any other day, you wouldn’t have looked any longer than a second, a minute at most. You’d walk past the mirror, change into a dress fit for an audience, and leave. 
Today was different. Today, your eyes were drawn to the intricate tattoo etched just beneath your left breast, wrapping around your rib cage. It was the first time you’d really looked at it, the first time you’d allowed yourself to acknowledge its presence since its creation. 
The tattoo was a delicate masterpiece, a swirling pattern of dark ink that almost resembled Azriel’s shadows perfectly— so perfectly it made you nauseous, made you flinch at the first sighting because it seemed too real.  It was beautiful, haunting, and undeniably meaningful.
It made you feel sick.
You traced the pattern with your fingertips, thinking back to how Azriel’s hand felt in yours, to the warm feeling you felt in your chest. You’d never made a bargain before— not even in Autumn. Perhaps all bargains caused this feeling you now felt, a sense of residue that your body held of him, as if you had crumbs of his being stuck to you. 
A knock at the door pulled you from your thoughts. 
You turned to see Laney's ears twitch as she registered the sound. Whenever you showered, whenever you were naked and vulnerable at all, really, she always guarded the door heavily, never moving. The knock was so gentle that she didn’t growl; instead, she sniffed under the door, her movements growing excited— happy. You could tell by her posture that the visitor was no threat. Not only that, but the knock was delicate— patient, almost. You knew who it was by that fact alone. 
Scrambling, you hastily pulled on your clothes, trying to regain some semblance of composure as you blinked away the last remaining images of Azriel from your mind. 
The tension in your body eased as you opened your door. 
"There’s my beautiful girl."
A small smile tugged at your lips as you embraced your mother, feeling the warmth of her body fold over you like a comforting cloak. You held her for another moment, savoring the softness of her touch and her heartbeat beneath you, and then you stepped aside to let her in. 
Your eyes flickered to the back of the hallway she’d come from. 
Your mother caught your gaze swiftly. "He’s with some of his men. Drunk. He’ll be busy for the night."
You swallowed, trying to suppress the unease that settled in your stomach. She placed a gentle hand on your arm.
"It’s alright," she said gently, “Too drunk to even function.”
You hated that you knew what she meant, that you and your mother had grown to develop your own language regarding the males in your home—regarding the one that owned you both. Her words meant that Beron had an enjoyable day, one that filled him with enough joy to celebrate— that such celebrations were going to tire him so deeply that he’d fall asleep straight after. No issues for you, no issues for your mother. You nodded slowly.
Your mother stepped closer, her fingers brushing through your still slightly damp hair. "Let me braid this mane of yours," she said softly, her touch light as she affectionately stroked your cheek. You casted a wary glance behind you, towards the darkened hallways, but nodded nonetheless, closing the door behind you with a soft click. 
Laney curled up comfortably on your bed, her relaxed posture easing some of the remaining tension in your shoulders.  The act alone was a sign of her trust, a reminder that she felt safe and saw no threats nearby. If Beron ever caught her on any furniture, she’d be punished. But in this moment, she was calm and content, and you let that calm you too.
And then you were back in front of the mirror again. 
Your mother pulled a small velvet stool in front, gesturing for you to take a spot. The large frame of the mirror seemed to laugh at you and as your mother stood behind you, delicate arms reaching for a hairbrush, you felt like a child again. The mirror seemed to grow even larger, even grander, and you fought to recognize the female that stared at you through it. 
You watched as your mother moved with the same gentle grace she had always possessed, bringing a hairbrush to your damp hair. Your mother was beautiful. She always had been. Even now, with the sadness in her eyes— a trait specific to Vanserras, you were certain—she was one of the most beautiful people you knew. Your thoughts drifted to what she must have been like when she was a bit younger, how she was when Helion first met her. You wanted to know it all, wanted to know your mother as a teenager, wanted to know how she fell in love. 
Her eyes caught yours in the mirror and her movements slowed. The expression on her face softened. 
"Where has that mind drifted off to?" 
You blinked, shrugging slightly. There was a lump in your throat as you responded, "Nothing real."
She frowned, and her eyes danced across your face before she continued brushing your hair. A thoughtful hum left her lips. "You've been gone a lot recently. Done a great job of stressing your poor brother out. Where is it you've been running off to?"
Her voice was soft and kind and just below a whisper—  as if you two were sharing a secret. It was her classic motherly way of interrogating you. The gentleness in her tone made it clear that she didn't mind, no matter the answer. She never did.
A soft laugh escaped you. "I have to visit all of my many admirers."
Her answering laugh was sweet and quiet, a sound so pure it almost felt out of place in this house. You resisted the urge to look back at your closed door, to wait in fear for heavy footsteps. But your mother didn’t seem worried about an intrusion. Instead, she looked at you with a glint in her eyes, a mischievous sparkle that reminded you so much of Eris—right down to the playful eyebrow raise.
"Joke as much as you'd like. We both know you have plenty of those," she teased.
You smiled to yourself.  
"How could you not when you're so beautiful?" she added, her voice filled with a sincerity that made your throat tighten.
You looked at her in the mirror again. Her eyes were so kind. They held the same warmth you’d see in Lucien’s— a warmth that you’d see even in Eris’s when he was at ease, comfortable. Those times were rare now, if not impossible. 
You looked at your own reflection.
You didn’t have kind eyes. You had your father’s eyes. Beron's eyes—hard, angry, simmering with rage. You had his temper, his unforgiving nature. You were every part of him that you hated, and you were reminded of it every day. Reminded of it when you struggled to control your powers, when you failed to harness the very essence of who you were. Reminded of it when you looked in the mirror for too long— when you thought about how you would never be soft like the females males often loved. That your pain didn’t lead you to be kinder, didn’t teach you to be gentle.
Your hand drifted to your heart instinctively, fingers brushing on the fabric just above your breast. You trailed down to the side of your ribs, to where a spiral of ink now adorned your skin. 
Your mother finished the large braid, bringing it around your shoulder. She caught your gaze in the mirror and smiled. "Do you like it?"
She had a freckle above her eyebrow, the same freckle your brothers each had in different places on their faces. Eris had the most freckles out of all of you. They painted the bridge of his nose and his arms the most—
"Honey?" 
You blinked. Your body felt fuzzy as you reached up to touch the braid. "Yeah,” you said, clearing your throat. “Thank you."
Her kind eyes softened at you— softened in a way you didn’t feel worthy for. There was a faint simmering in her eyes, a fire that she still held despite how her life had treated her. It had dimmed over the centuries, lessened to a small flicker. But the flame was still there. You saw it. 
You took a deep breath, maneuvering yourself to turn in the chair and face her. You made room for her to sit next to you, gesturing with a small smile and a lift of your chin. 
"I have to tell you something.”
She sat and frowned slightly, eyes scanning your face. But she said nothing, waiting for you to continue.
"Do you remember when I was little? And you used to love reading me that one poem?"
Her expression softened, and a gentle smile played on her lips as a distant look grew in her eyes. She knew, without you even saying the title, exactly what you were referring to— after countless nights spent curled around you, running her hands through your hair as she repeated the words she’d memorized so long ago, how could she not?
So she watched you, her gaze unwavering, as you began to recite your favorite stanza. "In life's cruel grasp we could not abide, so we made a pact with the Reaper's side."
Her voice joined yours. "And in death's embrace our freedom lies, where we'll find each other beneath somber skies."
You smiled to yourself, looking at her, scanning her face. "I know why you love it so much."
She furrowed her brows, yet even then she looked so patient, like she'd sit there and wait for hours until you were ready to speak again. This was someone who had been made kind by what they had gone through. You almost felt ashamed that you had turned out differently.
Finally, you said, "I found the book. In Helion's library."
A flash of recognition crossed her face, and she softened, her eyes taking on a distant, wistful look. "You did?"
You nodded again, watching her closely as a tender, almost nostalgic smile played on her lips. She tried to compose herself, her eyes growing distant and glazing over. "I've heard he loves to collect stories." She paused, then asked, "What were you doing all the way over there?"
You thought about her question, about answering, about maybe telling her everything. But there was only one thing you could pull yourself to say. "I know," you said softly. "About Helion. I know."
She understood what you were truly saying. A sigh left her lips and an echo of her younger self appeared in her eyes, a female who had fallen hopelessly and madly in love. A version much younger—much more innocent. More hopeful.
"I'm so sorry," you whispered, your voice breaking as she met your gaze. Her face seemed pained, shocked almost, and her eyes filled with confusion. She moved closer to you, grabbing your hands in her own.
"What could you possibly be sorry for?"
It was becoming increasingly difficult to draw a full breath. There was something constricting around your chest. Perhaps it was all of the recent stress, the worry of how much harder things had gotten, the image of a life your mother could have had— this suffocating tie to Azriel that you now had etched into your very flesh. 
"You were loved. And you deserve better,”  Your voice caught in your throat and a tear trickled down your cheek as you shook your head slightly. “And I can't do anything to help—"
“No, no,” She interrupted you, bringing her warm hands to cup your cheeks— pulling your eyes to her kind ones.  "I'm your mother. I'm supposed to help you."
Tears welled in your eyes as she continued. "I should be apologizing to you,” she murmured, “I could be better, stronger. I should apologize that I was selfish and brought you into this world."
"Selfish?" 
How could she ever consider herself selfish? You knew the pain she carried, the weight of responsibility that seemed to crush her at times. You saw it reflected in Eris— a specific pain that came from feeling like you could never do enough. But even with your older brothers, despite their cruelty and callousness, your mother loved them fiercely, passionately. Loved them with every fiber of her being, every part of her that she gave to them. 
"Yes," she replied softly, her touch gentle as she rubbed your cheek, her eyes full of emotion. "Oh, how excited I was to have a girl. You, my sweet, are one of my greatest blessings. My beautiful daughter. So strong, so loyal. I just couldn't imagine a life without you."
You wanted to reassure her, to alleviate her guilt, but words seemed inadequate in the face of such profound love. Instead, you leaned into her touch, covering her hand with yours, and held on tightly.
"One day, things will be different," she said, her voice soft but filled with conviction— enough of it that it eased the anger that bit at your gut. "You can be different. And you won't be like him."
She paused, her eyes locking onto yours with a depth of understanding that made your chest tighten. "You’ll know what love is. And you won’t have to resort to reciting poetry to know how powerful it can be."
✹ ✶ 𖧷 ✶✹ 
The dense canopy of trees above barely let any light through as you hurried along the forest path. Spring along the border was always odd, with dense forests giving way to large rolling hills. The difference in scenery, usually something you welcomed, felt nauseating today. All the sights, the smells, even the sunshine, seemed overwhelming.
You walked faster than usual, eyes fixed ahead, hands clenched at your sides. Azriel’s keen senses had already picked up on the subtle signs—your shallow breaths, the way your shoulders were stiff with tension. 
"Why are you walking through the woods and not even looking at me?"
You stopped as Azriel’s voice rang in your ears. 
You’d come to rely on these meetings with Azriel to exchange information, to strategize, to plan how to give your brother an edge. They’d eased your anxiety slightly, giving you a sense of support that you’d never thought would be found in Azriel of all people. But he was smart, as much as you hated to admit it, and had dedicated time to offering you aid. 
The truth was, you didn't quite trust your self-control right now. For some inexplicable reason, Azriel's scent was intoxicating, flooding your senses and causing your thoughts to swirl in a disorienting mix of attraction and confusion. Despite how hard you tried to fight it, you found yourself looking forward to these encounters. And that was a dangerous reality. 
"I like to stretch my legs," you finally responded, attempting to sound casual. "And maybe I just don't want to face you."
“Is that so? Nervous to stare at me too long?"
You could already picture the hint of a smirk playing at the corners of his lips— a bit of personality that you’d seen grow over your time together. You rolled your eyes, turning around and facing him with a blank look.
He stepped closer to you, eying you closely. “Worried that you’ll go crazy with desire?”
His smirk deepened, a rare, genuine smile breaking through his usual stoic mask. You bit the inside of your cheek in response.  "Don't flatter yourself,” you scowled. “Maybe I’m being kind and saving you from embarrassing yourself with how badly you’ll want me.”
This was dangerous— it was entirely too playful, too close to the brink of what you assumed friendship felt like. 
“Are you?” he asked, his voice dropping lower, more intimate. “Being kind?”
Azriel’s hazel eyes bore into yours and your chest tightened at the eye contact. You cleared your throat, turning away and resuming your brisk pace. “Shut up and let's just go.”
Behind you, Azriel chuckled softly, the sound rolling across your senses like an unwelcomed caress, making you shiver involuntarily. 
"Stop laughing," you gritted out, “I’ve never heard a worse sound.”
The chuckle faded and you heard him come to a stop. You turned around, meeting his gaze with a glare. He stood there, arms crossed, a faint smirk still playing on his lips. He seemed amused, at ease, even.
“What?” you snapped, your patience wearing thin.
He nodded towards you. “What’s your problem?”
“You standing there. That’s my problem.”
Azriel raised a brow, uncrossing his arms as he took a few steps forward to stand directly in front of you. He narrowed his eyes, studying you intently. “You’re bitchier than usual.”
“Careful,” you gritted out, staring at him with a heavy, burning gaze. 
“I’m here helping you,” he said evenly, his voice holding a hint of reproach. “You can drop the attitude.”
"You’re only helping me because you want to get rid of me and, sadly, you can’t kill me," you shot back, bitterness lacing your words.
Azriel's jaw tightened, his eyes flashing with something that almost seemed to resemble something like anger— like hurt. 
"I believe I've made it clear that your death is something I've purposely avoided."
Something about the way he was staring at you made you shiver. You fought the urge to run your hands over the area where your skin was now marked with the tattoo of a bargain. You met his gaze, steadying yourself. "Why didn't you tell me that Rhys presented my father with a proposition? That he requested an audience with him?"
Azriel blinked. "I wasn't aware that Rhysand had already done so."
"But you knew?" 
"Yes," he replied,  "I did."
"What good is this stupid bargain of ours if you don't even uphold it?" 
Azriel's expression hardened and he leaned down further. The scent of him filled your nostrils and you sucked in a tight breath, feeling your chest constrict with the motion. "I take my bargains very seriously. Our deal was that I would help you, that you would get what you wanted. Not that I would tell you everything."
Your nostrils flared.
"Do you realize how much danger Rhysand has put us in? Put me in?" Your voice trembled with barely restrained anger. "Beron is upset that Rhysand thinks of him as someone so conforming. He's convinced he has a traitor in his ranks. And if you haven’t noticed, Shadowsinger, he does!" 
You pointed to yourself and Azriel’s face seemed to darken with understanding. 
"Y/n—" he started, but he stopped abruptly, his gaze shooting to the trees beyond you.
Annoyance flared within you. "What?" you snapped, but he ignored you, his focus elsewhere.
"Can you just finish whatever the hell—"
Azriel moved with lightning speed, grabbing you and pushing you against a tree. His hand flew to your mouth, covering it as he brought his other hand to his face, a finger on own lips in a gesture of silence. Your eyes widened, watching as a muscle feathered in his cheek, his wings flaring slightly, shadows skittering around him.
Then you heard it too—a familiar laugh. 
"I know you're here, Shadowsinger. I can smell the bastard on you," Renard's voice echoed through the trees, taunting and cruel.
Desperation clawed at you. In a surge of panic, you bit down hard on Azriel's hand. He pulled back with a sharp intake of breath and you gave him one last look before you winnowed away. You could've sworn you saw a flicker of hurt, a sense of betrayal in the whites of his eyes. 
And then he was gone from your view. 
You didn’t get far, appearing in another thicket of trees within the same forest. Breathing heavily, you leaned against a sturdy oak.
Why hadn’t you winnowed farther? Straight to Autumn?
A tug in your chest nagged at you.
Faintly, the sounds of a struggle reached your ear—grunts and the clash of metal. You clenched your fists, chastising yourself. Do not go back, you thought. It's dangerous. You're putting yourself at risk—you and Eris, you and your mother. If they find you, if they manage to tell your father, you're dead. He'll kill you.
Azriel doesn’t matter, you tried to convince yourself. He can handle himself. And if not—
“Damnit.”
You made the decision before you could second-guess yourself, winnowing back immediately to where you had left him.
Disorientation clouded your vision the moment you landed. You blinked rapidly, taking in the chaotic scene before you. Azriel was engaged in a flurry of combat with three men— soldiers adorning the colors of your court. His gaze flicked to you for a split second, and his face softened with a brief, almost imperceptible relief.
You gave him what felt like a smile—an acknowledgment, a reassurance—before the reality of the situation snapped you back. Countless men surrounded you both, their eyes glinting with malice, with something that felt awfully like hunger. 
You had no weapon, but Eris had taught you ways to deflect attacks. 
One of the men lunged, and you dodged, feeling the blade cut through the air dangerously close to your side. With a swift kick, you sent him stumbling backward, then followed up with a sharp jab to his throat. He gasped, clutching at his neck, and you swiftly disarmed him.
Steel clashed against steel as you parried another strike, your movements agile and precise. A second attacker closed in, and you deflected his blade before stepping inside his guard, driving your elbow into his face. Blood sprayed as he staggered back, dazed. With a decisive motion, you brought his own weapon down through him, a sickening squelch filling your ears as he dropped to the ground.
Azriel was a blur beside you, his movements so swift and deadly it was almost poetic.
You managed to disarm another man, twisting his wrist until he dropped his weapon with a cry of pain. You kicked the sword away and followed up with a decisive strike to his chest, sending him sprawling to the ground. Your weapon found its way clean through his throat next.
Breathing heavily, you scanned the clearing, your eyes darting from one enemy to the next. There were countless bodies now, sprawled across the ground like fallen leaves— but none of their faces matched the one in your mind. You surveyed your surroundings once more. 
"Looking for me, princess?" The voice cut through the air, raspy and filled with disdain.
You spun around as Renard emerged from the trees, stalking closer with predatory grace, like an animal preparing for a kill. "Because I was looking for you."
He looked worse than the last time you’d seen him, barely alive, supporting swollen eyes and blackened marks around his neck. Beron had indeed tortured him, and the sight filled you with a grim satisfaction.
"Must be hard looking for anything with those eyes," you retorted, a grin on your lips.
"You did this to me, you traitorous whore," Renard spat, his face contorted with anger. He made a move towards you, eyes narrowing as he caught sight of the flames flickering against your hands, unsteady.
"Real cute," he mocked. You bit back the frustration boiling in your gut, gritting your teeth as you focused on the simmering underneath your skin. 
“Come closer,” you sneered, “Let’s see how cute they feel on your burning flesh.”
“You always had such a foul mouth on you. It’s like you’re begging to be killed.”
Without hesitation, Renard lunged at you with a speed fueled by rage and desperation. You both collided in a flurry of strikes and parries, the sound of clashing metal ringing through the clearing. The flames in your hands flickered erratically as you tried to maintain focus amid the chaos.
You had always observed your father's men so you could be one step ahead— just in case. Now, facing Renard, you could sense his frustration with every move you countered, every strike you parried.
"You think you can match me, girl?" His voice dripped with contempt as he circled you, "I'll make your father's punishments seem gentle compared to what I have in mind."
"You talk too much," you managed to rasp out between clenched teeth. 
Renard's face twisted into a cruel smile as he pressed on, his strikes growing more aggressive. "I wonder what Beron will do with your body," he taunted, "If your mother will even be allowed to mourn you."
The thought hit you like a physical blow, momentarily freezing your movements. In that moment of hesitation, Renard seized the advantage. With a swift and brutal maneuver, he knocked your weapon from your grasp and delivered a fierce blow that sent you sprawling to the ground. Before you could react, he was upon you, gripping your hair and wrenching your arms behind your back, a hold tightening around your throat.
Panic surged through you as you tried desperately to summon your fire, but it wouldn't respond. You tightened your jaw, focusing every ounce of concentration to call forth that spark of heat, cursing the world—the training that was never enough, your father's prevention of you perfecting the skill.
Renard's breath was hot against your ear as you writhed beneath him. He gripped your chin roughly, forcing you to watch as Azriel fought against overwhelming odds. Men surrounded him, their blows raining down on him relentlessly.
"Is this how he had you?" Renard's voice dripped with venom. "From behind?"
You closed your eyes, summoning images of Eris, your mother, Lucien— each face a steadying breath in your mind. When you opened your eyes, your gaze landed on Azriel, surrounded by a sapphire aura that blurred with his swift movements. 
With a surge of willpower, you summoned every ounce of strength, every flicker of fire you could muster. Flames erupted from your hands with a hot burst of energy, startling Renard and giving you a split-second window of opportunity.
You turned around and seized him, your grip iron against his throat as you backed him into a nearby tree. With cold intensity, you stared into Renard's eyes, the flames casting flickering shadows across his face. 
"Don't worry,” you growled, “I won't be gentle."
Within seconds, flames engulfed Renard's throat and face, the heat and light blinding in their intensity. He screamed in agony, thrashing under your grasp, but you held on, firmer and harder each time he flailed.
As the flames dwindled, leaving behind only smoldering ruins, you staggered back, hands trembling and covered in ash and the stench of burnt flesh. But before you could dwell on the burnt remains of Renard that lay at your feet, you spun around to focus on Azriel, still fighting off multiple men, surrounded by the shimmering sapphire light of his power.
Two men stood directly in front of him, while another pair prepared to strike from behind. You glanced down at your hands and screwed your eyes shut for a fleeting moment. When you opened them again, the fire was there—steady and trained. With a fierce determination, you summoned the flames into existence, shaping them swiftly into whips of fire that crackled and danced in the air.
You brought your hands out towards the two men, feeling the fire respond to your command, crackling and whispering with power as it morphed itself at your will. The flames transformed into fiery whips, extending from your outstretched arms like extensions of your fury, connecting with the two bodies threatening Azriel.
The fiery tendrils snaked around their necks like vengeful serpents, searing flesh and scorching hands as the men futilely tried to break free. With agonized screams, they collapsed to the ground. The flames dwindled down to mere embers. When you looked up, Azriel met your gaze, his face bloodied and his leathers splattered with crimson. Shadows writhed around him, dancing on the forest floor towards your feet.
He walked towards you, his eyes shifting to the fallen bodies at your feet. He took in the sight for a moment, gaze focusing on the marred flesh across their throats. Then he blinked and brought his focus to you. "Where's Renard?"
You glanced over to the disfigured body and pile of ash near a tree. Azriel followed your gaze and he blinked once more, his eyes widening as he took in the sight. His lips parted as if to speak, but before he could utter a word, his attention abruptly shifted.
He pulled your body into him, his wing extending protectively in front of you right as a sudden ripping sound tore through the air. You were pushed away from him just in time to witness a thick weapon—a sharp, wide blade welded to a spear—pierce through the membrane of his wing. 
He cried out in agony, falling forward slightly, enough for you to catch the gaze of a lone soldier peering over the apex of his wing. You grabbed a nearby weapon and hurled it with all your might. The blade found its mark, burying itself in the soldier's neck. He collapsed instantly, motionless on the forest floor.
Azriel let out a cry of pain as he ripped the weapon out from his wing, causing it to twitch involuntarily. "C'mon, we need to go," you urged, moving closer to him. With great effort, he tried to adjust himself as you lifted his arm over your shoulder, feeling his weight and warmth press into you.
✹ ✶ 𖧷 ✶✹ 
The journey back to the cabin was a blur of frantic winnowing and determined dragging through the dense forest. Your muscles ached as Azriel’s weight dragged heavily against you, stumbling with every move as the pain in his body grew. He groaned in pain as you lowered him onto the couch, the sound raw and unsettling in the quiet home.
Kneeling beside him, you moved closer to get a better look at the injury on his wing, but Azriel scrambled away from your touch and further into the couch. Your gaze settled on his face— eyes screwed shut, jaw clenched so tightly that you could see the strain in every muscle. His siphons glowed with an intense, flickering light and his shadows seemed to respond to his distress, curling protectively around him. For a moment, you felt a pang of envy. Even in his delirium, he had something to shield him from the world. 
The sight of him like this—so vulnerable, so raw—made your stomach churn. His breathing was ragged, each exhale accompanied by a soft whimper that he seemed to be fighting to suppress. Sweat matted his hair to his forehead, and every so often, he would twitch. 
You always thought that seeing Azriel suffer would make you feel good, make you feel some sort of vindication. Often, you used to imagine it would be you bringing him to his knees in pain, him and the rest of Prythian—making them suffer as you and your family had for centuries. But now, as you watched him writhing in pain on the couch, your heart hurt in a way you had only ever felt for your family—and even worse. You felt like you were in pain too.
But you had no wounds comparable to Azriel. 
A knot tightened in your chest and an unexpected urge surged through you—to comfort him, to wipe the sweat-dampened hair away from his forehead, to ease his torment. You blinked the thought away— nauseating and entirely too heavy for you to acknowledge further. You brought your attention back to his wing.
The membrane was pierced clean through by the weapon, a gaping wound from which blood and darkened poison gushed. The sight made you nauseous and you pushed away the haunting images of your father's face, the sound of leather striking flesh, and the memory of Eris's scarred back.
"I need to burn it out.”
Azriel's eyes shot open. "No, no," he pleaded weakly, his voice strained heavily. "Please."
Your hands hovered uncertainly above him. The first time you’d felt this poison in your wounds, it had felt like your body was eating itself from the inside out. You’d gotten used to the pain after a while, but Azriel was new to it— and Illyrian wings were incredibly sensitive from what you’d learned. He was in blinding pain.
"It's the only way to stop it from spreading," you insisted. "It'll only get worse if I don’t. You won’t be able to heal otherwise."
"That's—that's not how faebane works," he stammered, shaking his head vehemently. 
You gritted your teeth, letting out an exasperated breath as he rambled. "Because it's not faebane–”
Something seemed to snap. Azriel flinched, his eyes snapping to you with a wild intensity. His pupils were blown wide with fear, like a trapped animal. "You set me up."
Your stomach dropped.
"What?" 
You pulled your hand away, feeling an unfamiliar sting of offense wrapping itself around your chest. Azriel’s jaw clenched and his gaze darkened into a dangerous, skeptical narrow. 
"You're not hurt," he continued. "Was this some setup?"
Azriel's shadows flickered and writhed around him, siphons glaring with an iridescent light. He clutched at his injured wing, muttering through gritted teeth, "I knew it. You— you Vanserras."
He spat your family's name with such venom that for a fleeting second you questioned whether poison had lined his mouth rather than the wound on his wing. 
You were a fool. Azriel’s pain shouldn’t have bothered you so deeply. You should have never went back to help him. The hurt boiling under your skin made you feel weak, made you feel small.
"I will never be trusted by you, will I?" you asked, the words weak on your tongue. You looked at him and fought to push that stupid empathy away. Azriel said nothing as he grimaced further in pain. You let out a humorless laugh.
 "Right,” you said, “Deal with it yourself then. Stay here and die for all I care.”
You turned to leave, but his hand shot out and grabbed yours. The grip was firm, but not hard enough to hurt you. He adjusted his fingers around yours. When you looked down, Azriel’s pleading gaze met yours, sweat clinging to his hair as he looked up at you through darkened lashes. "No, no, I'm sorry," he murmured, "Please."
You hesitated. 
A surge of conflicting emotions—anger, hurt, and an unsettling tenderness you didn't want to acknowledge—washed over you.
Pull away. Leave him.  
And then you swallowed down the hatred, the cruelty that had risen, and knelt back down in front of him. He let out a relieved sigh. Your eyes fell to his hands, taking in the scarred tissue covering his skin— deep marks etched by fire and flame. 
"Close your eyes and pretend I’m Morrigan.”
His eyes flickered to you. "What?"
“Azriel,” You took a deep breath, training your eyes on him. "I need you to trust me. And since you don’t—close your eyes and pretend that I’m not me."
Your voice was gentler than you’d ever heard it, softer than you ever thought yourself capable of.  Azriel swallowed hard, then gave a small nod. His eyes shuttered closed.
You gently placed your palm on his injured wing, feeling the delicate membrane beneath your touch. Your other fingers trembled slightly as you summoned Eris' voice into your mind, calling upon that familiar heat and flicker as the flame began to rise through your hands. You struggled to keep it steady, each breath becoming more labored as you bit back your frustration.
Slowly, soft tendrils of shadows began weaving around your hand– a soft, cooling touch that made you blink. They drifted over you, calming the flickering flame to a steady warmth.  You took a deep breath and cautiously brought your fingers to the wound.
As the fire met his skin, Azriel tensed, a strangled sound escaping his throat. You could feel the poison reacting to the heat, the black substance dissipating under your fingertips.
"I can do this," you murmured, more for your own benefit than his. "It’ll be alright."
You weren’t sure if he could hear you, but you kept talking, hoping that your voice might anchor him to something other than his pain. It always helped you when Eris told you it would be alright, when he talked to you as he tended to your wounds, gently, tenderly, lovingly. 
You focused solely on the task at hand, blocking out the rest of your thoughts and the tightness in your chest. Finally, when you felt the last remnants of poison retreat, you withdrew your hand, the flames extinguishing with a final flicker.
Azriel’s breathing, though still ragged, had eased from the strained gasps earlier. Encouraged by this small sign, you withdrew your hand, a quiet smile of satisfaction tugging at your lips.
Looking down at Azriel, who had slipped into unconsciousness, you took a deep breath. "Thank you," you whispered to the shadows that continued to hover around you. For a moment, you felt silly for speaking to something so intangible— to things that probably didn’t even understand. Yet, as if in response, they slithered back toward Azriel, settling near the crook of his neck.
✹ ✶ 𖧷 ✶✹ 
Azriel’s eyelids felt heavy as he finally came to, his surroundings blurry and unfamiliar. 
It took him a few moments to orient himself, to remember where he was. He noticed three things first: it was nighttime, and a gentle moonlight bathed the space he was in; he was covered in a thin orange blanket, the fabric soft and worn, smelling faintly of pine and something sweet; and he was no longer in the agonizing pain he had succumbed to earlier.
Azriel shifted slightly, grimacing as a dull ache radiated from his wing. Taking a deep breath, he forced himself to sit up, the blanket sliding off his shoulders. He glanced at his wing, noting the faint hole where the gaping wound had been. He extended it in a light stretch, feeling a slight sting, but it was bearable. Healable. His mind replayed the events leading up to this moment, your voice echoing in his thoughts—soft, concerned, saying his name. 
Pretend I’m Morrigan.
He had nodded, closed his eyes— but he hadn’t pretended. It was you kneeling beside him, not Mor.
Azriel's gaze wandered around the room. His shadows had left their original position, perched and curled around the apex of his wings, and now seemed to be leading him across the small living area. He frowned, his boots heavy against the aged floors as he followed them past the wooden table— he pushed away memories of you bent over the furniture, shaking his head as he approached a small bookshelf tucked in the corner. 
The shelves were adorned with an assortment of well-loved books, spines worn from what Azriel could only assume were countless readings. His shadows hovered near the middle shelf, where something caught his eye—a slight indentation in the wood, partially concealed by the darkness they casted.
As he drew closer, the shadows dissipated, revealing a carving etched into the wood—
L.V., Y/N. V. 
Azriel blinked, brows furrowing as he inspected the letters further. He traced the letters with his fingers, feeling the rough wood against his scarred, ridged skin. 
You had mentioned offhandedly that you kept in contact with Lucien, that you visited the Spring Court. But he hadn’t given the statement any further thought.
He glanced around the room. 
The space seemed to come alive around him, details he had previously overlooked now asserting their presence. He had never paid proper attention to the home, never questioned why it seemed to be so oddly clean, why you favored it so much. His fingers hovered over the initials once more.
Y/N. V. 
Glancing down at his shadows, they stilled momentarily before slithering across the floor, guiding his gaze towards the doorway. There, through the windowpane, he caught sight of you standing a short distance away from the house, beneath the starlit sky.
Azriel approached the door with cautious steps, ensuring every footfall was quiet– undetected. He reached out, his shadows wrapping around the door handle to muffle any noise it might make. With a gentle push, he swung the door open just wide enough to slip through, his shadows ensuring the hinges made no sound, either. Leaning against the sturdy frame, he allowed the darkness to envelop him further, becoming one with its comforting embrace as he observed you in the distance.
From this vantage point, he watched you, bathed in the soft light that painted the sky with a silvery hue. A gentle breeze stirred, ruffling a few strands of your hair and carrying your faint, familiar scent to him. Sweet with a hint of spice, a smell that he’d grown used to recently. There's an emotion woven into it that he can’t decipher, and for a brief moment, it frustrated him. You seemed at odds. Peaceful, in this night air, but stiff. 
There was a tightening in his chest. 
Seeing you now, basking in the moonlight as the cold air licked at him, Azriel wondered if you were the same Y/N he had so violently hated. Could someone so cruel enjoy the light of the moon? Did his other enemies also watch the stars?
“How long are you going to stand there and stare at me?”
Azriel stiffened and a heat rose to his cheeks. He looked down at his shadows in accusation. Maybe they had betrayed him, not covered his approach adequately. He glanced back up, meeting your gaze as you looked over your shoulder, raising an eyebrow.
Azriel waited for it— the expected glare, the indifference, or even a cruel smile. Something foreign, something that aligned with the adversarial image he held of you. But it didn't come. There was no hostility, no cruelty, no snark. Only a softness reminiscent of one that he had seen those in his family hold many times before. It caught him off guard.
You snickered softly. "I can feel your stare burning a hole into my dress."
Azriel swallowed and cleared his throat, willing himself to regain composure as he walked towards you. You turned to face him, arms crossed, eyes flicking to his wing.
"You don't look like death anymore," you remarked, a faint hint of amusement in your tone.
Azriel offered a wry smile. "I suppose I have you to thank for that." He paused, searching for the right words. He had too many questions in his mind— too many thoughts floating around, headless, bodiless. 
— You had called him by his name. You had been here with Lucien. You left and you came back. He shielded you with his wing. You healed him. You stayed. You watched the stars. 
Crickets chirped, and a soft breeze rustled the leaves overhead. Azriel's mind wandered to the initials carved into the wood.
"This was your home," he finally said, his voice quiet. "With Lucien."
Your head snapped towards him, eyes widened and lips parting in surprise. "What?"
Azriel simply looked at you, taking in the contours of your face, the way the moonlight painted soft shadows on your features. You had always been attractive, dangerously, irritatingly so. But you looked softer in this light. Someone more approachable, more real—someone he could dare to care for.
Someone he cared for enough to protect.
"Am I right?" he asked again, his voice steady.
You glanced back at the modest house. With a small sigh, you met his gaze briefly before your eyes looked down, unfocused. 
“It was Lucien’s.”
Azriel remained quiet, steading his breath as your eyes met his again. The normal simmering rage within them was replaced now with a distant sadness. 
"After Lucien fled Autumn, Tamlin had this made for him," you continued, gesturing subtly towards the house. "A place close enough to the border that Eris could sneak me to. A place for me to see Lucien, to stay with him when it was possible."
Azriel’s chest tightened further. This wasn't a Spring Court citizens home— it was yours. He thought back to the first time he’d found you here, how bitter you had seemed when you talked of its emptiness. To you, Feyre had taken away the only place you had to escape— when Lucien was forced to flee from another court, when Hybern took advantage of a weakened Spring.
"Why risk sneaking away constantly? Why not seek refuge like Lucien did?" 
Your face seemed to harden briefly at his question, a flicker of defensiveness crossing your features. "I could have," you replied, your tone tinged with a hint of regret as you offered a shrug. "Lucien begged me to."
"Yet you stayed. In Autumn.”
You tilted your chin to look at him properly, meeting his eyes with an intense, burrowing gaze. 
“Would you leave your family? Your court?" 
"My court is not known for its cruelty." 
The words slipped out almost automatically, like a response that had been trained in your presence. He cursed himself inwardly. Something flashed in your eyes and your jaw twitched imperceptibly.  For a brief moment, he braced himself for the anticipated flash of anger, the potential for conflict that could leave him stranded in this spot he now believed himself tethered to. 
But you only raised a brow. 
"Isn't it, though?" you retorted with a slight snicker.  "The all-powerful and brutal Rhysand, feared High Lord of the Night Court."
Azriel bit back the discomfort at the sound of Rhysands name, at the way you disregarded his title so flippantly. He took a deep inhale, and you recognized the action as the response that it was. 
"Autumn is my home.”
The freckles on your face seemed more visible in the moonlight. All the times he'd been with you, the weeks spent meeting you, fucking you, he couldn't remember a proper conversation, face to face, that had lasted this long without a cruel, vile insult. He found it hard to picture you in Autumn anymore, to see you alongside your other brothers, alongside Beron. The image of you among the autumn leaves, your fire-red hair blending with the fiery landscape, felt almost surreal now.
“It was Lucien's too."
“No.” You shook your head gently, a rueful smile touching your lips. “Lucien spent most of his life in other courts. He was always too kind for us. Him and his large heart were destined to leave. A bleeding heart in Autumn gets you nothing but a loss of blood."
You looked like Lucien now, more so than Azriel had seen before. The snark of Eris was still there, the same guarded, calculated movements— even the still, low cadence of your voice, like a practiced talent. Seemingly emotionless despite the topic of conversation.
Seemingly.
Gods, he hated how much you looked like Lucien now.
Because Lucien was fair. Just. Lucien had every reason, as Azriel was beginning to see like you had, to hate him. He'd gone after his mate, had rushed to prove himself in a battle to the death, hadn’t thought about Lucien as a life, as a person, beyond an adversary standing in front of a prize he wanted—that was what Elain had been. A prize. Something he wanted to deserve. Something to prove he was good.
But Lucien was kind. Lucien was diplomatic, good with people. Lucien had won Elain over with his patience, with that good heart you spoke of.
Azriel studied you, wondering how much of Lucien’s qualities you had in you that he had refused to acknowledge. That heart—it was there, beneath the layers of bitterness and guardedness. He had seen glimpses of it tonight, in the way you tended to his wounds, in the way your voice softened despite the hatred you held so deeply, so fiercely. 
He found himself wondering, not for the first time, what you could have been had you left with Lucien.
Azriel cleared his throat. “So you stayed.”
You held his gaze for a moment. He wondered if you were deciding whether to answer, waited anxiously to see whether this openness of yours would vanish. 
"I couldn't leave my mother. I couldn't leave Eris."
Azriel opened his mouth— to say what, he wasn’t sure. But you beat him to it.
"And besides that," you added, your tone shifting slightly, "I fit. You're the one who's talked about my cruelty. I belong in Autumn."
A familiar hardness began returning to your expression. He could see it building, a wall of cold resolve. Your arms tightened around yourself, nails digging into your biceps. You were cruel—this was a fact he knew well. Cruel, calculated, and dangerous for him. Yet, despite all this, an inexplicable urge to apologize welled up within him. 
He had always known getting involved with you was a bad idea. He had rationalized it as a way to fulfill his urges, telling himself that fucking you was the path of least resistance compared to killing you. One option provided a release, the other would only escalate into more chaos. But now, as he stood here, the realization hit him: perhaps it was more dangerous than he had thought. Perhaps he had been dipping into something more addictive than he realized, and now he couldn’t think straight.
Why had he protected you with his wing?
You glanced back at the house, your gaze softening, body relaxing. "I don't think Lucien ever truly got over that," you whispered, almost to yourself. "The hurt that came from his belief that I had chosen my cruel brother over my kind one."
It felt like an admission not meant for Azriel, like you hadn’t realized you’d confessed it out loud. You blinked and the flicker of vulnerability he had seen was gone as quickly as it appeared, replaced by the guarded expression he had come to know.
"But that's not the truth,” Azriel said.
You met his gaze again. Years of sacrifice and loyalty that bound you to a life you never chose. A curved smile touched your lips, a mask slipping back into place— so easily, so swiftly, it almost made him sick. 
"People believe the stories that make the most sense to them. I'd say you're more than familiar with that habit, Shadowsinger."
Azriel's brows furrowed as he straightened, instinctively pulling his wings closer. A small ache radiated from his injured wing, and his mind drifted back to the wound. His shadows coiled protectively around him. Through their whisperings he felt an inexplicable urge to ask, "How did you know it wasn't faebane?"
You looked at him, your expression unreadable. With a nonchalant shrug, you replied, "Lucky guess."
He shook his head. "Do not lie to me."
“I don’t take orders from you.” Your jaw tightened, a flicker of defiance danced in your eyes. "And does it matter? You're healed. You’re welcome. Move on.”
"It matters," he insisted, his voice firm. "How did you know it wasn't faebane? That you needed to burn it out?"
You sighed in irritation. "You're supposed to be smart. Why do you think I knew?"
Azriel's heart pounded. He did know. Deep down, he knew the answer, but he needed to hear it from you. "How did you know?" he pressed.
You looked away, a dry laugh escaping your lips. Shaking your head, you said, "Faebane became useless to my father when an antidote was created for it."
Azriel's brows furrowed further, a sick feeling churning in his stomach. His fists curled at his sides as he asked, "What does that mean?"
A bitter smile twisted your lips as you met his gaze again. "He needed something else to make his punishments effective. So he created a new type of poison, similar to faebane. You can burn it out, which he loves. It's like a fun game for him—inflict the wound, heal it with even more pain, just to do it all over again."
Azriel's shadows seemed to still, softening in their movements. He fought the urge to keep them close, feeling them drift away towards the night air, towards you.
He scanned you with a burning gaze. He’d never noticed any scarring before, but then again, he'd only ever seen you from the back, your dress hitched up to your waist as he rutted into you from behind.  A tightness in his chest made him feel sick.
"I'm sorry," Azriel whispered before he even realized what he was saying, the honesty in his voice surprising even himself. Azriel didn’t apologize. He never did. Even when he should’ve.
You let out a wicked, cold snicker. "Don't go soft on me, Shadowsinger. We both know you're not really sorry. Just like your brute brother wasn't sorry when he figured out the same thing about Eris."
He shivered at the tone of your voice— a bite stronger than the night air that surrounded you both. His fists tightened at his sides as an image of Cassian came into his mind. He felt a rush of two things: blinding rage and blistering guilt. You had no right to call Cass a brute— Cass was a good brother, a loyal brother. And he and Azriel had talked about Eris, had talked about your brother, how little they cared about his punishments. The guilt bubbled up faster than the anger did, swallowing the rage entirely. 
The nighttime air felt suffocating now, pressing against his skin. As if you sensed it too, a cough escaped your lips, breaking the silence that had settled between you as Azriel observed you further. 
"That's enough sweet talk for me. I'll be leaving now," you declared, making a move to step away. Azriel intercepted your path, stepping in front of you with a determined stance.
You shot him a pointed glare. "I can just winnow away. You are aware of this, yes?"
Azriel ignored you, his gaze fixed on you as he searched your face for the answer to a question he didn’t know how to ask. 
"You left me earlier," he said.
You rolled your eyes, an incredulous scoff leaving your curved lips. “Gods, what is this, an exit interrogation? I just saved your ass and—”
He cut you off. “Earlier. When Renard ambushed us. You left.”
"Yes, Azriel, I did," you replied evenly.
The sound of his name seemed to cause a ripple, almost imperceptible, through the shadows around him. He flinched slightly and his stomach twisted into a small, tight knot. Azriel. 
Azriel's eyes darted between yours. “And then you came back.”
He could sense your growing annoyance, could see the simmering flame in your darkened eyes, the tightening of your hands.
"Are we summarizing the events of tonight?" 
He ignored you. “Why?”
"I'm not doing this with you," you shot back, frustration lacing your words as you attempted to push past him. But Azriel moved with a swiftness that caused a small sound of surprise to leave your lips. His strong grip closed around your arm, halting your movements and pulling you back into him.
Now, you were standing close, barely an inch separating your bodies. He could feel the heat of your body radiating against his and the faintest hint of a question lingered in his gaze. His shadows wrapped around your arm.
“Why?”
Your eyes locked with his and you sucked in a breath. "Because you're no use to me if you're dead.”
Azriel's thoughts raced. He hadn't meant those words when he said them, either. 
His shadows whispered things he couldn't quite focus on, their murmurs blending into the background as all he saw was you—so close to him. Someone who could have left him for dead. If Renard's men hadn't taken him so off guard, the poison would have. But you helped him, even after he insulted you, accused you of setting him up.
You looked like Lucien. You looked like Lady Autumn. You looked like Eris. But for the first time, you didn't look like someone he hated. 
"You are not Beron," Azriel said, his voice rough like gravel. He watched as your brows furrowed, your lips falling into a slight frown. "I should never have compared you to him. You are not your father.”
He could see the conflict in your eyes, darting across his face as you began to fall lax in his touch.
"And you're not your brother either," he added quietly.
The words felt like a confession from his lips, as if he was saying something besides the actual words he uttered. 
You blinked, staring at him as you pulled away slightly. Confusion flickered in his expression, his hand hovering where you had been in his hold. You took another step back.
"I am not my father," you affirmed, your voice steady. "I'm loyal. And I'm smart. And—" Your voice faltered. "And I get those things from Eris.”
Azriel stiffened, feeling his shadows tighten around him involuntarily as he watched you. He saw the softness fade from your face, replaced by a steely determination that caused a pang in his chest. You shook your head slightly, swallowed hard, and locked eyes with him.
"I am exactly like my brother. It's one of the things I'm most proud of.”
Before Azriel could respond, before he could even make a move toward you, you turned on your heel and were gone. The night swallowed you up, leaving him standing alone amidst the whispering shadows, grappling with the sickening vulnerability that washed over him like a wave. 
✹ ✶ 𖧷 ✶✹ 
IM BACK BABIES AND IM WRITIN LIKE ITS A FULL TIME JOB
ill make parts shorter i swear (actually....will i???) but alas.... azzie baby has been hit in the face with the beginning of his FEELINGS!!!!
also, in case you wanna SEE our angsty hate-love birds, the super talented @micahssketchbook has sketched them not ONCE, but twice!!
The scene in part three where Azriel has reader in a chokehold and she pulls one on his ass by taking Truth-Teller
and what theyre about to be like in future parts with Az caressing readers face!!
permanent tag list 🫶🏻: 
@rhysandorian @itsswritten @milswrites @lilah-asteria @georgiadixon
@glam-targaryen @cheneyq @darkbloodsly @pit-and-the-pen @azrielsbbg
@evergreenlark @marina468 @azriels-human @panther-girl-124 @bubybubsters
@starswholistenanddreamsanswered @feyretopia @ninthcircleofprythian @velariscalling @vansaddy
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caitlinsclark · 2 months
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NOT CASUAL caitlin clark ² caitlin clark x reader | summary: it was never casual for Caitlin. part one ✰ bree's notes: i don't know if I did this justice, but this is the longest fic i've done so i hope you guys like it!! word count: 4.4k masterlist and tag list
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The world had seemed to spin on its head when you walked away from Caitlin. Because you truly had begun to act as if it all had been casual. Kate was the sole witness as you indulged in a full fledged factory reset, waking up early to run drills in replacement of the early morning runs you used to go on with Caitlin.
In fact, you hadn’t wallowed for a single second and you didn’t feel the need to. The frustration only fueled more energy, energy that would be used on much more efficient things than Caitlin’s exhausting presence.
This newfound composure was tested at the first practice since the blowout you two had. You were far too determined to let it slip. Coach Bluder had first called for drills which you ran through with ease, able to block out the overwhelming glares Caitlin sent your way. At least, that’s what they felt like in your eyes. In reality, the brunette was staring at you longingly from her position on the other court, thinking that if you were focused you wouldn’t notice.
Her straight face was a disguise, hiding all the depressingly aching thoughts that flooded her entire body with disappointment. She wasn’t expecting for your words to hold the weight they did. Honestly, she had half expected you to eagerly pick her for the 1v1s you had run during practice but you didn’t even look in her direction when you picked Gabbie.
No matter how many times she turned over the argument in her head, she only heard the harsh words that flew from her own mouth. The reporters were right in their critique when they said she wasn’t great at defense, and that didn’t only extend to basketball.
“Money!” You cheered excitedly when you drained a 3 effortlessly, chest bumping with Kate who shared in your enthusiasm as you both landed back on the ground with smiles. Caitlin turned her back to you when she started to smile herself and shot her own 3, staying quiet as it swished around before falling into the basket. She silently celebrated along with you as if your cheers were for her too, since she wasn’t sure she’d hear them anytime soon.
After practice, you were in the locker room beaming as your phone went off. You gave a reaction that drew in attention, a little dramatic just for a ringtone. But it made sense once you answered the call and greeted the blonde on the other side of the phone.
“Hey, P!” You sent her a jokingly flirty wave with a huge grin, matching the energy of the extroverted girl on the other end.
She had a similar smile on her face, biting her lip to keep it down but failing, “Hi, ma.” 
“Say hi to the team!” You flipped the camera to show the rest of the team who said hi and allowed the blonde to greet them back. They exchanged a few casualties as Caitlin stared hard at the athlete on the phone.
You didn’t see, but Paige blushed at the realization that the entire team had heard the way she greeted you with so much adoration. Your presence was capturing and she had been another to get succumbed by it.
The way you spoke held hope, “You’re gonna be coming to the game right?” Your eyes glimmered in the locker room lights and Caitlin wanted to cover her own ears at the sweet tone she hadn’t heard in days. She couldn’t help but torture herself with wondering how long this had been planned. Why were the two of you speaking with such familiarity?
“Me, KK, and Azzi,” Paige added as if you forgetting how many people supported you was ridiculous, “But mostly me.” The extra words invoked a small laugh out of you that endeared your teammates. They all shared matching knowing looks, minus Caitlin who wanted to avoid it all together.
Minutes later, It was only you and the brunette left in the locker room, but you didn’t seem the slightest bit bothered by it. You continued tapping at your phone with an eager pace and a grin. The girl who was normally glued to her own phone felt herself judging you bitterly, “You know she’s not just a friend, she’s into you.” 
“At least she cares about me like a friend first.” You laughed it off like she was ridiculous, and she was in the moment. You both knew it when it rendered her speechless. 
“I deserve that,” The brunette gave in, “but you know that’s not true, you were always my friend.” Her facade seemed to break the most you’d seen since that night. But you couldn’t stop the painful reminder about the absolute disregard it took for her to knowingly play with your feelings.
“I don’t know that, Caitlin,” You patted her shoulder as you corrected her, talking to her like a child who didn’t understand a complicated concept, “In fact, you’ve never even said otherwise til now.”
And you walked out right out the door, staring expectantly at your phone with a bitten bottom lip, highlighting your anticipation. 
Her head fell into her hands and a line of tears threatened to spill out of her waterline. You believed that she didn’t internalize every time your hands held on a little too long, the time she covered your eyes so you didn’t see your favorite character die in a show, the time she almost felt the urge to get down on one knee when watching you juke her brothers out at soccer.
Despite her words, there were so many moments the two of you had shared. Caitlin knew that the no attachments rule was a load of bullshit the second that the two of you kissed. You pulled away far too quickly for her liking and she found herself greedily pulling you back in, enamored with the way you tasted, consumed by you entirely in a way she’d never experienced.
With a cleared throat, she attempted to shake it off and noticed your left open locker, leaning over to shut it for you.
Her movements slowed at the picture, somewhat hidden in the back of your locker, of the two of you cuddled up at her family’s house in Long Beach. That was the weekend that she knew the two of you had slowly been developing into something more.
The weekend that fear enveloped her being when she realized how much attention was truly on the two of you already. How much the two of you had to lose when you were able to separate yourselves from the pressure you usually had on you. 
But that didn’t hold a candle to the pressure building up in her chest at the thought of you currently being swept away.
You and Paige had gotten closer since the first time you met during an intense match against her team. The game against UCONN was an energizing and highly anticipated one. 
You’d been conscious enough to look at their roster before hand and scope out their starting players. It was easy to find previously taped games to analyze their usual game play.
So you weren’t surprised when Paige came in, a force to be reckoned with that left you impressed despite your team’s win. Impressed enough to find her after the game and offer her a good game personally.
“You gave me a run for my money,” You complimented with wide eyes, truly impressed at her IQ on the court. 
She chuckled, lifting her jersey to wipe her hairline slowly. Your eyes might have slipped down a little at the action and you were not quick enough to lift them all the way back to her eyes. 
The blonde just smirked, wordlessly holding her hand out for you to shake. You accepted and allowed your hands to stay connected for a few extra seconds.
“Anymore compliments?” She raised her eyebrows teasingly, “I’m always accepting from pretty girls.” Her flirty personality immediately popped out and you knew that she was dangerous.
“Oh, you’re good!” Your head shook in disbelief and allowed a laugh to escape as she did the same.
She rubbed her hands together jokingly and you shoved them down quickly, laughing along side her goofily, “Nah, stop the rizz hands! They’ll work!” The two of you hadn’t realized how close you got in the process, but it felt like a natural gravitational pull.
“Hey, I’m Caitlin,” A hand lightly appeared and rested on your waist, easily seen and very protective. But the brunette held her other hand out to Paige in a friendly manor even though you knew better, and Paige accepted happily. And that was the end of it.
You’d always thought she was attractive, how could you not? But there was something about the pull you felt to Caitlin that never let those thoughts stray too far without adjusting to the brunette. Now fear also played a factor in allowing yourself to give into anything of that nature.
Though your adoration for her was genuine, and you two had many discussions about the state of your opinion on dating basketball players. 
It was prompted over a live with Azzi that you joined with a level of excitement to see your girls.
“Hi!” You waved, setting the phone down on your table. The girls waved back and were quick to ask you how the season was going. It was later in the live that Azzi squinted at the chat and said your name.
“They wanna know if you’ll go to their sorority formal with them, they’re a basketball player so apparently you’re soulmates,” Paige read out with a bitten lip, holding back a laugh as she waited for you to respond.
“Nah basketball players are sworn off romantically,” You made an ‘x’ with your arms and shook your head in distaste, “I’d break their ego in a 1v1 and we’d break up.” You played off the real reason and deflected when the girls laughed with you.
Paige had made a mental note to ask you about that later, and you assumed her intentions were simply coming from the place of a worried friend. You were comfortable enough to dive into the intimate details of yours and Caitlin’s falling out.
And you were met with nothing but support, which you expected from the girl. She’d been another outlet for you to maintain the composure you needed in order to function on a team with Caitlin.
The crowd was buzzing on both sides, Iowa and LSU. You were quick to scan your home side upon exiting the tunnel and going onto the court.
It was the first game since yours and Caitlin’s falling out which added a level of nervousness. In the sea of 22 jerseys, you were shocked to find one of your own draped on the pretty blonde you’d invited. This was at the same time that the cameraman also seemed to be made aware of her presence as she appeared on the big screen.
The cheers of the crowd summarized your reaction to a tee, especially as Paige stood up to turn around and point to make sure the camera would capture your last name on her back.
When Paige sat back down, she had the most satisfied smile playing on her face and it took everything in your willpower not to collapse at the wink she sent your way afterward.
Caitlin had to hide her face in Kate’s shoulder to ignore the scene, being overtaken by the pain in her heart. The blonde could only pat her friend’s head sympathetically, shielding her.
The game was intense from the get go, and your frustration with Caitlin only made you play harder. You were driving to the net with a tenacity that she had to admire even in your rough patch. You were much stronger than her considering she’d been missing almost every shot she’d taken. It was to the point where she’d just given the ball back to you when she got possession, too scared to fuck up even more.
Because of your handle on the ball, the opposing coach had been smart to have her players begin to guard you more consciously. It led to one of your opponents sending you flying to the ground during a layup, a groan leaving your lips as you fell flat to the ground.
You ignored the hand that Caitlin held out to you, trying to lift yourself up slowly on your own. Caitlin sighed at your pettiness, deciding to at least help you by giving you more time. She kneeled to tie her shoe, only standing up once you were settled back on your feet. 
The game continued back and forth with a nail biting second half. Ultimately, Caitlin got pulled to the bench and you were deservingly still out on the court. The most frustrating part was that your team had still won, with your help as opposed to hers. With 10 assists, 25 points, and being speedy with practically every rebound, you had completely carried them to win the game despite the brunette’s multiple turnovers and fouls. 
You were at the top of your game while she was at the bottom of hers. Caitlin watched as the team crowded around you from a distance, nodding appreciatively at you once you glanced in her direction. She ultimately chose to let you be as she turned and returned back to the locker room, body language unlike someone who just won a game.
You were so distracted by the girl waiting for you at the end of the hallway that you didn’t notice the one approaching from behind you.
With a grasp on your arm, Caitlin halted your movements to speak, “I need to talk to you.” Her posture was sluggish and slumped showing the same exhaustion she’d had on the court.
“Sorry, our work relations and window to talk finished the moment the buzzer went off!” You smiled curtly and plucked your arm to continue walking with Paige who tried to not look as amused as she was.
“Funny,” She deadpanned, rolling her eyes at the pettiness you were doing a great job at showing. This aggression was a complete flip from the affection you usually approached her with, it felt like a new person.
“No, my funny side is reserved for people that mean more than being a teammate to me.” You opted for checking your reflection in the mirror on the wall beside you, adjusting your hair just a bit. Caitlin was beginning to see red, but tried her best to push it down. She couldn’t help but get a last jab in though.
“What, like her?” Caitlin nodded to the blonde waiting for you down the hall. The thought of you agreeing had a pit growing in the brunette’s stomach. You followed her gesture and gazed at Paige, admiring the way her hair cascaded down her back in soft waves and framed her growing smirk at the sight of you giving her attention. She seemed secure as ever with her arms crossed loosely, raising an expectant eyebrow at you as if she knew what you were going to choose.
“Actually,” You kept looking in admiration at Paige despite Caitlin’s heavy stare on you, “yeah, exactly like her.” Finally, you graced the brunette with your eye contact to show the honesty behind your words, content on the way her shoulders slumped in response.
Caitlin’s grip on you loosened to a non existent one, accepting to physically let you go in her now weakened state from your words. But that didn’t mean she was going to let you go completely.
Her aching heart was only a fueling factor as she watched you prance happily over to the other athlete. That couldn’t be the end.
“Almost like there’s some kinda tension between you guys,” Paige side eyed you playfully, still managing to keep the air light and easy. You craved that breezy feeling as opposed to the way your heart clenched with the brunette you left in your trails.
You wiggled your eyebrows at her, “Some could say there’s tension between me and you, does that make it true, Bueckers?” It was a clear fish for something and your glance down to her lips as her tongue darted out to wet them seemed intentional. It was.
Caitlin could be called a sadist with the way she refused to move her eyes from the two of you. Her mind was a cruel force to be reckoned with as it began to compare the stark differences. Paige’s extroverted personality easily captivated you, shown by the way you leaned into her enticingly, biting your lip like you had to hold yourself back from being completely taken by her.
Caitlin had never been bold enough to give into you in that way, fearful of being rejected for her genuine personality than the one she put on.
The only similarity was the enamored look on Paige’s face, Caitlin hated to admit it was the one she caught herself giving you more times than not. Those tiny moments she indulged herself in what you two could’ve been. All sweet things that could be easily ripped away once things got serious.
The entire team was buzzing, taking up the living room in a cozy haze. You’d taken a few celebratory shots and had stepped outside with Paige to get a couple fresh breaths of air.
You were close as ever, your legs draped over her lap in a comfortable and cozy position. Your upper half leaned against the back of the couch, tilting toward her with a drunken imbalance.
It seemed like the perfect, quiet moment to let yourself indulge in the pretty blonde who seemed to welcome your closeness.
The scene was karmic at best, timing on no one’s side at all. As your lips got dangerously close, all it took was one finish push, you heard as the backdoor opened and slammed shut subsequently. By the time your eyes opened, you caught the sight of Caitlin walking past the glass door back into the house.
“On TruTV’s Most Awkward Moments,” She narrated and patiently leaned back, waiting for you to chase after her. Her tone didn’t seem angry, not even offended.
“I don’t have to go handle that.” You assured her, shaking it off and sitting back down on the chair. Her eyes burned into you with suspicion like she knew you would break.
You sighed, “I have to go handle that.” She smiled at you, a genuine smile, and leaned in to give you a tight hug. Paige squeezed you and you squeezed back, wishing that things could just be simple.
The light environment returned, despite the situation you’d been in moments ago. But Paige let a smirk take over her features again as she teased you when you pulled away
“If you guys ever need a third..” She trailed off and licked her lips dramatically, still able to make you laugh despite the situation you were heading into.
“I’ll keep that in mind,” You squeezed her arm before turning and heading toward the door Caitlin had disappeared behind.
“Good luck,” she called out, lacking any resentment and you felt like you genuinely needed it. You thanked her with a smile and went inside, searching for the emotionally challenged brunette.
Caitlin didn’t even look up at you from her phone once you’d entered the otherwise empty room she occupied, “Oh, don’t let me interrupt.” You walked over and plucked the device from her grasp, ignoring the incredulous look she sent you.
“You did interrupt,” you said plainly as you sat down in front of her, “Same way I interrupted the day you had someone leaving your dorm, except I’m going to handle it a lot differently because this was the grace I deserved.”
Her demeanor changed, a frown settling on her face, though she didn’t make a move to argue. She even nodded in agreement, staying silent as she waited for you to go on.
“We’re teammates, you have no right to get mad,” You reiterated what you said to her the last time. It was firm and took all of your strength to hold it together.
Caitlin tried to challenge you, shaking her head, “We’re more than that.” Finally hearing her say it made you want to jump up and down, but it wasn’t that easy.
You crossed your arms over your chest to protect yourself, “Are we? Because last I checked we’re barely even that.” It hurt that she hadn’t corrected you until then.
The reality check clicked somewhere in her brain, the thought of you truly believing that it all was reduced to nothing making her ill. 
“I’m sorry I lied to you when I said it was casual,” Caitlin confessed weakly with a shallow breath, “It was not casual. You’re the only person I kept looking to today for reassurance, and when I realized you were looking to someone else for yours, I wanted to collapse.” The admission was easy, a scary leap from when she couldn’t even acknowledge the weight behind your physical relations.
“So another competitive thing?” You raised an eyebrow, hesitant to believe the quick change in attitude like some kind of epiphany. 
“Not at all,” and with the way she looked offended at the insinuation made you want to believe her, “I was taking advantage of how understanding you were. You were there to ground me and basically be a girlfriend without me giving you the same validation. I couldn’t show you then, but you deserve to know the feelings were there, if any of that matters.”
You didn’t know if it did matter, couldn’t tell when your heart was buried under the emotions of the last few days. 
“I was definitely jealous too. I’ve been jealous of Paige since the day you met.” Caitlin rubbed her eyes roughly like that could get her to say the next words easier and you pushed her hands away from her face, “But getting you away from her was never my angle. You should go back out there.”
You weren’t expecting the follow up confession, scrunching up your face while she looked away from you. You and Paige had met practically worlds before you and Caitlin had even started your agreement. 
She knew you’d put two and two together, and you did. Her feelings had gone on for a lot longer than yours did. Caitlin took the advantage of you staying with her for a few more moments at least.
Her voice reduced to a whisper, looking at you with her head settled defeatedly on her fist, “Is this what you felt every time?” 
“Yeah.” You sighed and moved to sit next to her, allowing yourself to sink comfortably into the couch within her presence. There was still a lot of room between you, a responsible amount.
“I’m sorry I was a coward,” She went to reach for your hand out of habit, but stopped midway where her hand dropped on the couch between you, “I didn’t deserve to have you come after me.” Caitlin toyed with the thread of the cushion to distract herself from the urge she had to be close to you.
“But I don’t think you deserved to see that either, same way I didn’t deserve to see it when I went to your dorm.” You reasoned, filling her heart with warmth at the way you still cared, despite the reasons she gave you not to. 
A sympathy she was not qualified to receive after the way she’d treated you.
She shook her head at the generosity you were offering her, “No, I did. I was really shitty to you and that was payback for it. I got karma.” 
You offered her a small smile, feeling like she’d suffered enough over the last day with Paige.
“Yeah, a little,” you agreed teasingly, grasping the hand she’d left lingering in between you two. You played with her fingers and she let you, too scared to scare you off with even a subtle move.
“Paige said she’d be a willing third if we ever needed,” You wiggled your eyebrows at her in a daring moment of silence.
Caitlin threw her head back in a genuine laugh, the comfortable environment returning that you hadn’t gotten even a glimpse at in a few weeks. You couldn’t help but giggle alongside her, squeezing her hand in a simple gesture.
Your head lolled to the side, taking a silent moment to gaze at her features appreciatively as she did the same. You were the one to break, to surge forward and interlock your lips with a searing and much missed intensity. 
But the shortness of the kiss shocked you, full of sweetness and desire but no more than a few seconds until the brunette pulled away. You expected her to possessively push you back, show some sort of dominance to initiate something further. 
But Caitlin cared more about showering the rest of your face with attention, craving to memorize every little detail that she’d missed out on thus far.
“I’m not doing anything with you for like two weeks,” You vowed as a warning to test the waters, pulling away slightly as she kept kissing all around your face, trying to get a word in through your interrupting laughs.
“I’ll wait,” She hummed, switching so she could hold your jaw, prohibiting you from squirming away now.
“Three weeks.” You changed your mind, staring at her to gauge her reaction. 
She didn’t even twitch, still staring at you with an adoring smile, “Okay.” 
“Four weeks,” You squinted at her suspiciously, waiting for a sprout of disappointment or hesitance.
“Okay.” 
“Five weeks,” You challenged once more, though she gave the same response as she looked at you with amusement written on her features. 
“Really, nothing? Five weeks and you’re okay? Are you obsessed with me or something?” You quirked an eyebrow, putting your hands on her shoulders to add a little bit of separation. But her hands made quick work of grabbing your waist to pull you back in as she made a loud noise of agreement, the warmth of a chaste kiss on your jaw following it.
“Not very casual of you.” You grimaced playfully, gently tucking a piece of hair behind her ear, twirling it between your finger tips as you switched to a happy grin.
“Not at all.” Her voice dripped in happiness as she leaned into you, accepting the way you pushed up to meet her halfway once more.
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TAGLIST! @lovermcres @glorioushamsterqueen @miedmead @blueagle45 @pbloverr @cavillary @elizabethkitley @1-800-fantasy @into-f0lkl0re @mysticchildsuit @sapphicmermaid
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srjlvr · 14 days
Text
,, 10 THINGS I HATE ABOUT MY EX ’’
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JUST when you thought your life couldn’t get any worse after your biggest break up of the year, someone posted your (very) much hateful list about your ex.
PAIRING. Ex!jake X Ex-fem!Reader
GENRE. fluff(look at me putting this first in genre) , angst , exes to lovers.
WARNINGS. y/n is kind of a bitch towards jake ig, jake is a big big player, lots of miscommunications, also very much not proofread!! i shall add more if i missed something!
WORD-COUNT. 7.8k+
NOTE. there we go again with this story cover, im outta here, graphics and me are not friends UGH i gotta start paying for someone to actually do this for me smh. anyways!! everything here is FICTIONAL!! i do NOT see jake nor any of the characters like that in any way!! if you don’t like it—youre very welcomed to skip!!
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you thought you had your brightest future in your hands.
being an ace student, scoring A+ in all of your tests and winning the teacher’s favoritism, all of that while also being the most popular cheerleader of your school.
you’re literally living everyone’s dream, not only being a popular student, but also dating the most popular student who also happened to be your highschool’s basketball team leader, jake sim.
girls swoon for him, beg him to notice them, even go as far as to send him gifts that costs probably more than their own house, but no, his eyes search for one person and one person only, and that’d be you.
“i’m sorry, i can’t continue all of this”
“this? what do you mean—“
“i mean us, this relationship, i don’t think it’s going to work anymore”
“oh”
“that’s all you got to say?”
“do you expect me to cry and get on my knees, begging you to regret this?”
“what?”
“speechless now, are we? i’ve been waiting for this day”
denial was your best friend, and you might’ve realized it a bit too late.
you were hurt, fuck you wanted to break down and cry. but he doesn’t deserve to see that.
you ignored so many red flags in your relationship, you were lovesick and pathetic, all for him, it broke you apart. but you do not want to give him the satisfaction of seeing you cry.
“y/n…”
“i don’t want to hear it jake, i’m actually glad you took this step”
you’re not glad at all, you do love him.
“i wish you the best” he said quietly and left.
this whole relationship felt like a mistake for the both of you, it was toxic, too toxic.
like those you see on TV shows where the popular girl and guy just date for fame and nothing more, yeah, just like that.
but you loved each other, you really did. communication was your biggest enemy, and that’s what lead to this whole toxic relationship mess.
“what a fucking asshole! it hasn’t even been a month and he’s already all over the girls! pathetic”
“yeji!”
your best friend rolled her eyes, “am i wrong? he was always a player”
you shook your head.
she wasn’t totally wrong, even before you started dating he used to hold a different girl in his hands every other day.
big player indeed.
you on the other hand, no matter how popular you were, you stayed reserved. many boys tried their luck, but it was no use.
though being reserved, you didn’t mind the looks the other boys gave you, and took every chance you had to show yourself off.
therefore it was so surprising to everyone that you and jake started dating.
the biggest player and the reserved popular girl, dating? this had to be a joke.
the truth is that jake had been keeping his eyes on you for long, and he knew that he has to hold you in his arms and show you that a player like him can actually love.
at first it took him time to break down your walls, but he did his best to assure you that he’ll never let anything bad happen to you.
that was….well, until he decided to break things off.
“yeah, he was, once a player, always a player” you agreed with her, glancing at jake and rolling your eyes when noticing that the girl he was flirting with is having too much fun.
“let’s just go, i’m tired of watching those clowns” you sighed and walked away.
“y/n! i’m sorry you had to witness….well—“
“it’s okay sunghoon, really”
before you and yeji could walk too far, sunghoon stopped you.
sunghoon is jake’s best friend, you and him weren’t the best at making conversation while you and jake were still together, but when you broke up, something changed between the two of you.
“don’t mind him, he can be a total asshole sometimes”
“sometimes?” yeji chuckled and sunghoon nervously scratched his nape.
“thank you sunghoon, i’m fine though” you gave him a weak smile and walked away.
“well if there’s one thing that’s good about jake is that his best friend is smoking hot and totally into you!!” yeji clapped her hands.
you rolled your eyes in disbelief, “yeji i don’t think you get it, he’s just being nice because he feels bad about his best friend acting like a dickhead”
“oh y/n, i can read face expressions, he’d definitely ask you out if only things weren’t so difficult”
“don’t push it!”
“that’s the ONLY good thing about jake though, i feel bad for that walking red flag, he’s so bad at keeping his relationships”
“i should make a list of things that i hate about him and send it to every girl in school so they’d know they need to run away from him!” you joked.
“i’d definitely help you, i’m sure as hell that it’ll make his ugly face vanish” she was joking as well.
you both were joking, you knew it very well.
so how the hell did you find yourself sitting in your room desk, writing a list about the things you hate about your ex?
“one, he’s smoking hot, his visuals can mess up your mind” you’re writing everything down as you’re saying them out loud.
complimenting him on your first point? way to go girl!
“two, he’s a big fat player, once your date is over he’s already probably running to find his next” you rolled your eyes to this one.
not even a month passed and he’s already flirting with others? what a loser!
“three, so full of himself! it actually hurts to see a person who loves himself so much he could probably die!”
that one time he wouldn’t stop talking about how many girls asked him out in one night? yickes!
“four, so toxic and possessive! don’t want you around any guy while he walks around and talks with any girl he sees”
when he got jealous that you spoke with your childhood friend about the most random thing ever? disgusting!
“five, puts milk before cereal, i don’t even need to explain!”
a walking red flag or what?
after finishing the rest five points you had to make, you decided to call it a night and drifted away to dreamland.
“psst”
“hm?”
“i know we were joking about the hateful list yesterday, but i actually made it”
“what?!”
you put your hand over yeji’s mouth and giggled.
“it just felt so good! i feel so relieved now! i don’t even want to post it, but it just felt so right to just let everything out”
“so proud of you, girl! finally let it go and move on!!” she pat your shoulder and then proceeded to hug you.
“where did you hide that list?” she raised her brow.
“i just brought it with me today, i put it in my locker and i’ll probably burn it by the end of the day, i just wanted to show it to you first before i do it”
“now that’s my girl!”
yeji is the bestest friend you could’ve ever asked for. she was always there for you.
ever since you were little you were stuck like a glue, you had each other’s backs and you were more than thankful to have her in your life.
“hey y/n! i was just wondering, do you perhaps have notes for the last maths class? i missed it because of practice and i’d really like some help” sunghoon showed up with a grin.
“sure, they’re in my locker, i’ll bring it to you” you nodded and he shook his head.
“i’ll come with you”
“oh? okay”
he followed you to your locker and waited for you to give him the notes.
“what’s in this paper?” he asked as he looked at the very cute designed paper.
“oh? that’s nothing really” you shrugged it off and quickly closed your locker, “bring them back to me when you finish”
“i will, thank you!” he said and walked away.
you opened your locker again to take out the paper, you sighed heavily and shoved it into your bag.
“six, he can’t keep his promises! if he’ll ever tell you he’ll play some video games with you, don’t believe it!!” yeji read it out loud and laughed.
you laughed with her, suddenly finding this list so funny.
“seven, his puppy eyes are definitely misleading! he’s a one manipulative bitch and he won’t be afraid to use his cute puppy eyes!” she rolled her eyes, “is that a good or a bad thing?”
“bad thing obviously! it’s literally written there that he’s manipulative!”
“girls love puppy eyes! you should know that!” she preached and you rolled your eyes.
you spent the rest of your lunch break giggling and laughing about this stupid list.
“i’m returning this to my locker, i’ll burn it after practice today” you told her and she nodded.
“i need proof of that, video call me when you do it!” she said and sent you off to practice.
arriving at the field, you found your friends and practice started.
“hey, y/n!” as you were packing everything in your bag and exiting the dressing room, sunghoon, who was already there waiting for you called you.
“hey, you” you grinned.
“will you let me do the honor and walk you home today?” he asked ever so nicely.
“sure!” you smiled and began to walk with him, completely forgetting about the paper you had to burn.
“i can’t believe you forgot the paper in your locker! what if someone steals it?” yeji complained over the phone right after you texted her that you forgot about it.
“yeji! no one knows it’s there except you! it’s not ‘to all the boys i’ve loved before’ story! you can calm down” you sighed.
you were right though, who knows this locker holds up something that can completely ruin not only yours but also your ex’s image?
“i guess i’m gonna let this slide today, but i’m going to burn this paper with you tomorrow!”
“hm”
“how was your walk with sunghoon~?” she teased.
“it was cool, he’s such a cute guy, surprised that he’s still single honestly”
“i think we both know why”
“i’m gonna go sleep!” you changed the subject and before she could ask any more questions you hang up.
the next day you found yourself yet again a victim to yeji’s new gossips while trying to take out a few things from your locker.
“so as i was saying—are you even listening to me?” she looked at you while you looked at the mirror that was hanged in your locker and applied your lipstick on.
“hm? oh yeah”
“you’re a lost case”
“we’re gonna burn this paper today! and then i will finally be able to feel free from this relationship” you smiled, explaining to her that it was the only thing on your mind.
“you’re damn right! this hate list about jake is going to be burnt today!!”
“this hate list about who?”
you jumped hearing someone else’s voice behind you.
“oh! yena, didn’t see you here” you chuckled nervously.
“just here to tell you that coach said there’ll be another practice today, i came here privately because, you know, you’re too busy in other things to care” oh she’s a one of a kind bitch.
you gave her a sarcastic smile, “i already know that, but thank you”
she returned the fake smile and walked away.
“that was so close!”
“you should be more careful, this girl is just looking for something that’ll bring you down” yeji whispered and you nodded, “i guess you’re right, at least she didn’t really hear all of this”
school ended and so did your practice, yeji leaned on the wall next to your locker as you searched for the paper.
“i could’ve sworn i put it right there!!”
“y/n think!! maybe you put it in your bag?”
you handed her your bag for her to search it.
“oh! i found it! it was between those notebooks” you giggled, “but i could’ve sworn i put it under all of my books”
“at least you found it” she sighed and put her hand over your shoulder.
“let’s burn this bitch!”
looking at the little fire you made with yeji made you feel excited and mostly happy.
you let all your thoughts together with this paper to burn.
your relationship was toxic, but this time was the most beautiful time in your life.
you and jake really did love each other.
one time you were sitting together in the library, trying to study the new material your teacher gave you.
“what are you up to?” he asked.
“studying, that’s why we’re in the library” you smiled.
“that’s so boring!” he pout. you giggled and pecked his lips, “you can be on your phone or something until i finish”
“no” he shook his head, “i want to do something with you”
“jake—“
“let’s go! i’m taking you on a date!” he grabbed your hands and dragged you out.
you spent the rest of your day together, sharing a few snacks and joking around.
it was the perfect kdrama couple everyone dreams of.
you ended up sleeping at jake’s house that day, and he made sure you knew how much he loves you.
“i can see our future together,” he smiled and held your hands, “me, a famous basketball player and you, my pretty partner”
you were sitting right across him on his bed and raised a brow, “oh? so i get to do nothing?”
“i’ll make sure to work hard so you could rest and never work for your entire life” he hugged you and pecked your cheek.
“remember that promise, i’ll use that against you in the future” you joked.
“that means…..you too see a future for us?”
“of course”
he put his hand on your cheek and moved you closer to him, he kissed you so deeply you could feel his love to you was sincere.
that small flashback of this romantic moment made you smile, you really do miss him.
but a dark memory came right away, not leaving any place for the sweet memories to stay,
“oh so i didn’t pay attention for you for once and now you’re giving fuck eyes to my best friend?” he yelled.
“you’re such an idiot sometimes! sunghoon was actually kind enough to apologize on your behalf! you were basically embarrassing me in front of everyone!”
“so now sunghoon’s the hero? go to him then!”
“why are you so stup—“
“i don’t want to hear your complains, y/n!”
“oh really?—“
“yes! go away!”
thinking about those moments reminded you why you’re still here looking at the hateful list you made about him.
he was toxic, possessive, and full on narcissistic, it was so hard to love him sometimes.
yeji came up to hug you when she noticed a few tears streamed down your face.
“let it go now, you already proved yourself you don’t need him” she smiled and you nodded.
“let’s go home”
the next day felt a lot better than the others, the sun was shining brightly, birds were singing, a big smile was smeared all over your face and most importantly, you felt free.
“morning, y/n!”
“morning yeji! lunch is on me today”
“i look up to you so much, my queen” she faked a bow and you giggled.
the day is going to be amazing, and so are the other days! you’re so sure of it.
you decided to keep up with jake’s game and even started flirting with other guys, not even minding if your ex was watching or not.
usually you would, but not now, or never again.
“what’s your fucking problem?”
while talking to some guy you don’t even remember the name of, jake grabbed your wrist and stopped the conversation.
“what do you mean—“
“i mean flirting with him, he’s supposed to practice—“
“you don’t return from break for the next ten minutes, i can talk with him in the meantime” you rolled your eyes.
“coach said—“
“don’t make up things now and don’t act like you care, we’re already over”
“y/n—“
“don’t play this game with me now jake, you can return to your fangirls and leave us alone” you scoffed and released his hold on your wrist.
he rolled his eyes in annoyance and walked away.
“did you see the way he looked at you? i bet you my whole money that he still loves you” yeji sounded as annoyed as he was.
“be ready to go bankrupt because there’s no chance”
“this asshole thinks you’re still in a relationship, he’s sooooo pathetic!”
“yeji, let’s stop talking about him” you groaned and she nodded.
you were in a really good mood today but he totally just ruined it.
the next few days went by so fast, you felt happier by each day that comes by, and nothing could ruin your mood.
that was until today’s morning.
as soon as you stepped your foot in the school’s hallway, people started gossiping.
“y/n! about point five, does he really put his milk before cereal? that’s disgusting!” a random student just popped up and asked you that question straightforwardly.
“huh?”
a few more students gathered around you and you couldn’t even understand a bit of what they were saying.
“excuse me! coming through!” yeji yelled and pushed everyone aside.
when she noticed you in the middle of the circle, she grabbed your hand and dragged you away.
“are you crazy? why would you post the list?!” she asked frustratedly.
“what list?”
“don’t play dumb!”
“no i’m really serious, what are you talking about?”
she glanced up at you and showed you her phone.
“no way!” you gasped.
someone posted your list!
“yes way! are you that stupid?”
“yeji that wasn’t me! i would never do something so dumb!” you reasoned yourself.
right, why would you even post this if you knew it was going to ruin your reputation?
she sighed and walked back and forth.
“it wasn’t me either!” she said almost instantly.
“yeji, you’re the only one who knows about this list” you said suspectedly.
“y/n, do you really think i’d post this? after shit-talking about him and threatening to kill him multiple times?” she looked genuinely hurt.
you know her ever since you know yourself, she wouldn’t do such a thing.
“you’re right” you sighed.
“so,” she spoke, “who’s the asshole?”
“i wish i knew” you scoffed, “i’d like to know who wants to ruin my image”
there were a few seconds of silence, “yena!” you and yeji shouted together with wide eyes.
“this bitch!” yeji spat, “she probably heard us talking about it!”
“oh i’m gonna give her some good bea—“
you were cut off by the bell and had to head straight to class.
you waited for everyone to get in and told yeji you’d come right after you get to your locker and take your notes.
the hallway was empty and you sighed in relief.
“YOU!!” you heard someone shouting across the hallway.
guess it wasn’t so empty after all.
you looked at the person and found the last person you wanted to see.
“you ruined my life!” the person just got closer and closer and you closed your eyes tightly.
“is it because of our break up? that’s how you get back at me? you ruined everything!”
you sighed heavily.
“and what’s with those points? eight, he’s such a nerd for physics it actually hurts, he won’t stop talking about it all the time, nine, thinks his dog is the cutest and will argue you if you don’t think like him, and ten, he’ll use your deepest secrets against you, he cannot be trusted???” he read out the list for you in disbelief, although you already know it.
“those are all lies aren’t they? why did you even—“
“well what am i supposed to do now? it’s already posted, and no! these are not lies! they’re the truth, if you only cared about how i felt in our relationship you’d realize how much of a dick you were” you scoffed and closed your locker, prepared to go to class since you were already too late.
you glanced at jake one last time, he looked speechless, confused and hurt.
were you too much? maybe. but he deserves it.
“hey y/n! should i be careful if i want to date you? i don’t want a hateful list posted about me if i ever break up with you” a random student yelled from across the hall as you were busy talking with yeji.
you glared at him and decided not to reply.
“ignore them, this whole thing will probably vanish in a few days” yeji caressed your back and you sighed.
“i hope you’re right—“ before you could continue, a hand grabbed your wrist and pulled you away from yeji.
you looked at the person in charge and when you noticed it was very angry looking jake, you started panicking.
“hey, let me go!” you tried to let go of his hold but it was no use.
“why didn’t you delete it yet?” he asked angrily when you got into an isolated place.
“delete what?”
“are you that stupid?”
“obviously if i’m still talking to you”
“i’m talking about the post”
“it wasn’t me!” you argued.
“sure, and i’m actually queen elizabeth” he rolled his eyes, clearly not believing you.
“think about it, why would i ruin my reputation?”
“i don’t know, to get sunghoon’s attention? that’s all you ever did” he shrugged.
“you’re a piece of shit, you know that? try to figure who it was on your own” you spat and walked away, leaving him deep in thoughts.
“oh! there you ar— are you okay?” sunghoon who casually bumped into you noticed your frowned eyebrows and tightly closed fists.
“go to your friend, i think he needs you more than i do”
he slowly nodded, still worried about you but you just kept walking away.
“hey dude! what’s going on?” sunghoon noticed his friend’s weird behavior.
“sunghoon,” jake spoke, “who do you think posted it?”
sunghoon shrugged, “it could be anyone”
“who wants to destroy my image? do you think there’s someone that does?”
sunghoon looked at his friend in disbelief, does he really think only about himself now?
“maybe it was someone who wants to get back at y/n and not you? not everything revolves around you, you know”
ouch. truth hurts sometimes.
but it seemed to hit a nerve and jake suddenly got up.
“yena!”
“ugh! just when i thought my life got better without him now i have a huge scandal because of him” you whined.
“are you sure it was only because of him? i mean, you did leave it in your locker and…” yeji was about to continue but stopped when she noticed your glare.
“on who’s side are you?”
“every coin has two sides and you know it” she pressed her lips and you sighed.
maybe she’s right, instead of always blaming your ex about your life problems, you should face the truth sometimes.
“well if it isn’t the famous y/n!” you heard a voice you wished you’d never hear again.
“yena! it’s so good to see you here” you faked a smile, “what brings you here?”
“i study here” she answered sarcastically and you tried to resist the urge to punch her in the face.
“anyway, your list got so famous that everyone at school talks about it! i think you should thank whoever posted it”
“maybe i should! it really got me some fame, even your boyfriend came up to me today” you teased and her face turned red.
“you’re lying!”
“your boyfriend would say otherwise”
she scoffed and ran away, “tell him i agree to go on a date with him!” you shout as she walked away.
“you should go easy on her” yeji, who was there to witness everything that happened shook her head.
“it was her who posted it, she deserved it” you huffed and sped up your walk to the classroom.
your last class was finished after what felt like a year and as you got out you finally took a deep breath.
“i’ll see you tomorrow, try not to think about what happened today!” yeji sent you off and you smiled at her.
as soon as you stepped your foot in school you wished you could run away.
before anyone would notice you, you tried to sneak around and look for yeji.
“y/n!” god how much you hate universe.
“what do you want jake?” you answered rudely.
“just wanted to say thank you for that list,” he said sarcastically, “it’s not like you ruined my reputation or something like that, hey by the way! do you think i should make one too? i think that would be fun”
“don’t you dare” you groaned.
“then let’s date again”
“what?”
“are you deaf? i said let’s date again”
“what makes you think i’d actually do that?”
“well, we could lie to everyone that we tried to trick them into thinking that we hated each other to see how others will react” he shrugged, “think about it, it’ll save our image, plus you owe me”
“i owe you nothing”
“it’s because of you that we’re in this shitty situation!”
“you can just let it be and people will forget about it sooner or later, now let me go—“
he caught your wrist before you could leave.
“one week, one week of just pretending and then we’ll part our ways peacefully”
truth is, his idea didn’t ring so bad, but you were scared. you were scared you’d fall in love with him all over again.
“what is it, some fake dating love story? you can go fake date sunghoon and that’ll create a bigger scandal than this one” you shoved your hand and rolled your eyes while walking away.
a part of him just wanted to hold you back again in his arms, for real.
“hey jake!” sunghoon greeted him and jake gave him a weak smile.
“did you just talk with y/n? i thought you were angry with her?”
“i don’t know, sunghoon” he sighed, “i just want my old life back”
“yeah you kinda fucked up your life, hey why did you even break up with her in the first place?”
when sunghoon heard about your break up, he was the first to come up to jake and ask him about the reasons, only then he realized jake didn’t really want to speak about it at all.
but now jake felt ready, he felt like he needed someone to hear his side of the story, every coin has two sides right?
there they were, sitting in the field’s seats, looking at the empty space, it was just the two of them.
“when we first got together i was so happy, you already know how much i liked her that time, you even helped me planning all those dates” jake sighed.
“‘sunghoon how do you take someone on a date without telling them straightforward it’s a date?’ i remember you asking me those questions nonstop!” sunghoon laughed.
“yeah, i was on cloud nine, but,” jake paused, “i was scared to lose her, i was so scared to lose her to the point i became overly possessive and anxious when she was around other boys, i was so used to have a one time thing and i didn’t know how to keep relationships, it all became messed up, this whole relationship happened in the wrong time”
sunghoon pat his friend’s shoulder, feeling sad for him.
“each time i tried to fix it, it got worse and i didn’t know how to stop, so i just decided to break it off, it’s better to let her live her life than to stay selfish and keep her to myself” jake sighed yet again, emphasizing the disappointment he feels with himself.
“i actually wanted to say this for awhile, but deep down i know you’re insecure about yourself, and you tried to hide it by boosting your ego and lying to everyone about your true self” sunghoon chuckled, “you were some kind of an asshole before you started dating y/n, and even became more of an asshole after getting into a relationship, you should’ve just talked it out with y/n”
“well it’s too late now isn’t it? she made that very clear that she hates me by writing down that list” jake groaned.
“maybe you should just make one about her and ruin her chances to have any relationship in highschool as well” sunghoon shrugged but jake looked at him curiously.
“i was joking! don’t do that!”
“well? how are we feeling today?” yeji handed you your favorite snack to cheer your mood up.
“thinking about ways to kill yena, how about i poison her food?”
“how about you just talk it out with her?”
“not a chance! i can’t look at her face without fighting the urge to punch her”
“well it isn’t going to help you, is it?”
“no, but it’ll make me satisfied”
“maybe i should just accept his offer?” you murmured.
“offer? what offer?” yeji asked.
“promise me no matter what happens, you’ll never abandon me” you grabbed her shoulders and forced her to look at you straight in your eyes.
“have you gone mad? i—“
“promise me!”
“okay, okay!” she laughed, “you’re acting like you’re planning to get back with jake”
your silence told her everything.
“don’t you dare—“
“i have the perfect plan! you know how yena always wanted jake, right?”
“doesn’t she have a boyfriend—“
“boyfriend my ass, she was all over jake all the time”
“continue please”
“she probably posted my list to make sure i’ll never date him again, so she could have her chance,” you raised a brow, “by dating him i could only piss her off, but maybe that’d actually get her to confess about it”
“and then what?”
“then HER reputation would be ruined forever, boyfriend? gone, cheerleading? gone, friends? gone!”
“y/n,” yeji held your hand, “you’re so smart i feel like a proud mom!” she wiped her fake tears away.
later then you searched for a specific person you knew you’d find in the field.
“so,” the person said, “you actually agree?”
“jake, don’t make it harder than it already is” you rolled your eyes, trying to keep up with your cool girl energy, but deep down you were so excited to be close to him again and to hold him in your embrace.
“have you heard? jake and y/n are back!!” as you were walking towards your classroom you heard mumbling from other students.
“i literally just now agreed to this stupid idea how-“
“you know how fast rumor spread here, it’s actually scary”
your thoughts kept running through your mind all the way to lunch break, which was the only time you could ever relax and—
“attention please!” oh no.
“yes, me and y/n are back! this whole list thing? it was just to check everyone’s reaction about it! it’s so smart isn’t it? my sweet baby thought about this idea, and we did figure some weird actions after this whole thing blew up” jake dragged you right next to him and stared right into your eyes, “you’ll never break us apart”
cheers and claps were heard all over the hall and the only thing you thought about now is how to run away.
“congratulations! i was so scared it was real, was just now about to pay (student’s name) a hundred bucks, who lost the bet now huh loser?” one of the students came up to you with a wide smile.
you awkwardly smiled back as you set her off.
“did you really have to do that?” you glared at him.
“i did, see? now no one’s talking about it again” he shrugged.
“everyone stopped talking about it a day after! you’re just too busy thinking about yourself to notice your surroundings” you rolled your eyes.
“you agreed to do that, so be my guest, you knew there will be consequences”
“you’re the worst!”
“you don’t mean that”
you just rolled your eyes in return and stormed off.
“hey my sweet darling, how’s your day?”
“jake, we’re out of school, drop the acting”
you failed to notice his smile dropping.
“can’t i just be curious about your day?”
“jake, it’s weird, it’s been a while since we last talked or had a normal conversation, don’t act like nothing happened”
“what do you mean?”
“see you always does that! even when we were in a relationship! you fail to understand how badly you always hurt me and proceeded to just move on so fast, always running away from your problems”
he stopped his tracks as you continued walking away, this left a huge impact on him.
the next day you were back to acting, according to you, to jake it seemed very real.
you were sitting on one of the benches, casually talking with sunghoon about whatever.
jake seemed to notice every small detail about you.
the way you smile when he’s complimenting you, the way you crack at any of his jokes, even those who weren’t so funny.
you never laughed at his jokes.
“hey, can i steal my girlfriend?” jake sounded calm but his whole face screamed anger.
sunghoon, his best friend who had already recognized that face, slowly got up and smiled, “she’s all yours”
“hey, what was that?” you scoffed.
“you were being too close to him”
you rolled your eyes, “i can’t believe we’re back at it again”
“again?”
“yes, again! jake, get it right into your mind, we are not together! we’re just putting a small show for everyone’s entertainment and that’s it, it’s all about saving your ass here as well” you sounded really pissed off.
jake was taken a back for a few seconds but got right back to his senses, “oh”
“yes, oh! we’ll act like a couple when we’ll really need it” and with that you walked away.
“so,” you heard a devilish voice haunting you from behind as you were taking books out of your locker, “you and jake?”
“oh hey yena!” you smiled, “fancy seeing you here”
“answer my question” she furiously said.
“why are you curious? dropped your boyfriend because you thought you’d get a chance with him?” you smirked.
“oh! here’s my boyfriend!” you called jake who seemed to be very deep in thought.
he looked straight into your eye but decided to just walk away and ignore you completely.
“what the hell…” you cursed under your breath.
“boyfriend, huh?” yena was the one who’s smirking now, “well have fun!”
“what the hell was your problem back then?” you let yourself yell at him as you were out of school and on your way home.
“oh, i thought that we need to act like a couple when we really need it—“
“don’t play dumb right now!”
“i don’t get you y/n seriously! you’re always saying something but mean the exact opposite, what do you want, really?” he returned the attitude.
“what?”
“if you’re that suffering you should just go to sunghoon!”
“again with the sunghoon scandal—“
“yes, again with him! how come you never laughed at my jokes? how come you never smiled at any compliment i’ve given you? why did you always push me away when i tried to get closer?” the heated conversation turned into a quiet one, his tone made it very clear to you that he was hurting.
“w-what…” you whispered.
“you just don’t get it do you?” he chuckled, “my reason to being this jealous”
you stopped to think, all this time, all those arguments, he didn’t mean any bad at all.
“have you tried thinking about those beautiful moments we had? those were the most precious moments that ever happened in my entire life” you voice came quiet, “it was my first relationship ever, my first love, my first everything, i didn’t know how i should react, or what i should do in order to keep you to myself”
his glossy eyes were looking at you.
“you were so not used to doing ‘first time’ things that you failed to notice every little thing that i tried to do to keep us together, have you ever thought about that?” you preached, “i loved you, maybe i still do, but that won’t change anything, will it? it just doesn’t matter anymore”
he tried moving closer to you but stopped, “i-i’m sorry…”
“just go” you wiped the tears that were already streaming down your face.
both of you were hurting, but you didn’t know how to fix it all, it’s so stupid really, you think you’ve grown up to be a better person, but somehow communication puts on a wall that stops it all.
“have you heard? i think y/n and jake are over now, for real!”
“how the fuck did i became the hot topic again? and how come everyone knows about what happened yesterday?” you asked yeji.
“rumors, they spread so fast here” she shrugged and you rolled your eyes.
you watched jake pass you, you took the time to focus on his face.
his eyes seem so tried, puffy and hurt…. you thought.
“well someone had a rough day yesterday” yeji commented and you nodded slowly, still lost in thoughts.
“hey, can you let teacher know i have a meeting with coach today?”
“hm? but you don’t have any—“ “thank you!” you ran off quickly before she could ask any more questions.
“psst! sunghoon!” you whispered as you watched him getting ready for class.
“oh? y/n!” he smiled widely.
“come with me!” you grabbed his hand and dragged him outside the school building all the way to the back.
“y/n can we do this other time? class starts soon and—“
“shh!!” you put your finger over his lips and kneeled down with him, hiding from any teacher or student.
“i need you to help me” you gave him puppy eyes.
“yes of course, what happened?” he instantly asked.
“i’m gonna guess that you’re already aware of what happened yesterday”
“yeah, whatever that was i’d rather forget hearing about this”
“focus! i need you to help me figure out this!”
“what do you mean by ‘this’?”
“i mean everything! you’re his best friend, i’m sure you know about our whole relationship status, i-i just need to know why he broke up with me in the first place” you sighed.
“y/n, you’re not going to like what you’ll be hearing, are you sure you want that?” he genuinely asked.
you looked down to the ground and sighed, “yes, tell me everything please”
maybe asking him not to drop any detail was a mistake, because now after he told you everything and left you alone to get some time to think, you can’t help it but overthink about any step that you did.
“that only shows how bad you were for each other” sunghoon’s last words sent shivers down your spine, maybe he’s right.
“miscommunication sucks!” you laid back on the wall next to you, was this whole relationship a big mistake?
it did nothing but to hurt the both of you.
“there you are!” yeji sounded out of breath.
“so, jake might’ve gotten himself into a tiny fight and—“
“what? where!”
“it was right outside of our classroom but—“
before she could even finish her sentence you ran all the way back to your classroom and she after you.
“there’s no one here” you frowned, “you did this on purpose!”
“i tried to tell you he’s already in the nursery!” she yelled after trying to catch her breath.
“fill me up with information please” you asked quietly.
“you asshole!” as soon as you stepped into the nursery and saw jake laying down on one of the beds, a few tears came down your face.
“y/n! be careful he’s still recovering!” the nurse warned you from causing any more harm.
jake slowly opened his eyes and you scoffed, “fight? really? because of me?” you looked at him in disbelief.
he stayed silent, as if he knew what he did was wrong.
“you have nothing to say?”
“he called you a whore who likes to play with any boy that comes around, what did you expect me to do?” he sounded defensive.
“oh, i don’t know, maybe try to insult him with words and not physically! you got yourself into trouble now because of me” you complained.
“it was worth it” he smirked.
“jake, i’m being serious right now, you can’t act like we’re a couple when we’re absolutely not” as soon as you said this the nurse got the clue and went out of the room.
“that is exactly the problem!” he shout, “i can’t pass another day without you being by my side, you drive me crazy only by looking at me, and hell, i cannot look at any other man flirting with you without fighting the urge to punch him!”
“jake…” you whispered.
“i still love you, don’t you get it?…..i feel like i just can’t continue my day without holding you in my arms….” he held your hand.
you wiped the tears that continued to stream down your face, “you’re probably still suffering from concussion after the fight, i’ll go speak to the nurse”
you let go of his hold and walked out of the room.
a lot of thoughts were haunting your brain, how you wished things would be as simple as they sound.
he confessed to you and you love him, what’s stopping you from running into his arms?
“you’re just scared of giving whatever this was a second chance” yeji said as she took a bite of her food.
“whatever this was, it was toxic, i don’t want that to happen again” you sighed.
“yeah, it was pretty shitty to watch from the side, but i think he genuinely mean it this time” she took another bite from her food.
“how do you know that?”
“i mean really, ever since that list was posted he was around you 24/7, probably looking for excuses to be with you, that whole ‘oh we were just joking, we’re still dating’ thing was a dumb excuse for him to be next to you more, any nine years old can tell you that”
“you don’t have to be that harsh” you scoffed.
“i’m telling the truth babe, as much as i hated his guts, and still do, i think he was genuine about his feelings this time, and by the way you told me everything that happened, i think he really wants to fix it and try all over again” she shrugged.
“i….i don’t know what to say”
“just go and tell him yes already” she rolled her eyes and you nodded.
it’s time to fix your broken relationship.
you walked—ran back to the nursery only to find it empty.
“um…do you know where’s—“ “i saw him going to the field” the nurse answered before you could ask.
“thank you!” you smiled and walked excitedly to the field.
“i did it” you heard a familiar voice, “i posted that list”
before you could see who’s talking, you quickly hid behind a side wall.
“what?” you’re 100% certain this is jake’s voice, but who is he talking to?
“i thought this would finally break whatever you had going with her, i mean, you always had heart eyes for her even after your break up, it was making me sick”
“still, how could you do this to me?” jake sounded betrayed and…hurt.
“you had to move on, seriously, it was becoming unhealthy, i didn’t think it’d only bring you closer, it was such a mistake”
“please stop…”
“when you broke up i thought i’d finally have chance with her, but she was actually always looking your way, not even batting an eye at me”
“sunghoon just stop! i can’t believe my best friend would do this”
was it sunghoon this whole time?
“so it was you?” your thoughts voiced out.
“y-y/n?” you saw jake and sunghoon standing right in front of the other, sunghoon wore a shocked expression while jake just stood there looking completely hurt.
“what kind of an idiot would call himself a best friend? and to think you did all of that for what? to hurt not only him but me as well” you tched, “you’re nothing but an egoistic asshole”
“please just—“
“just go the fuck away! you did nothing but to hurt people, you’re disgusting me” you tried to shoo him but he didn’t budge.
“not going? okay then” you grabbed jake’s hand and walked away, not before shooting him an angry glare.
after a few minutes of walking you sat him down on one of the benches.
“you okay?” that was the first thing you asked.
“yeah, not like my best friend tried to sabotage me or anything” he chuckled.
“i’m sorry for that” you placed your hand on his shoulder, pressing it lightly, “he does not deserve to be called your best friend though”
he looked up to you and his eyes were filled with tears. you wiped the tears away and smiled at him.
“i don’t know if it’s going to help, but i didn’t feel anything for him, and never will”
he chuckled and sniffled, “i always trusted you, but i couldn’t find myself to trust him, i guess now i know why”
you rolled your eyes, “yeah, yeah you were right, i was wrong”
he gave you his infamous smile and the butterflies you felt never felt this good, “thank you” he said.
“for what?”
“for being there for me, and even if you don’t want to fix things right now, i think we might be—“
you shut him down by kissing his lips, he was shocked at first but quickly caught up, caging you in his arms and holding you tightly.
as you broke the kiss you smiled, “i do want to fix things, i want that more than anything”
“do you mean it? aren’t you afraid?”
“as long as i’m with you i have nothing to fear” you smiled.
“ugh! you’re back again? i can’t keep up with this anymore!” you heard an annoying voice.
“hey yena? fuck off” you flipped her off and she stormed away.
“since when did you become so confident?”
“ever since i realized i want to cherish and hold the most precious thing to me forever”
“i love you” he held your hand and kissed it, “i love you too” you replied with a quick peck on his lips.
“aww lovebirds, get back in class now the day’s not over yet!”
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girlgenius1111 · 3 months
Text
mami v mama
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getting your daughter to sleep through the night proves difficult... mostly for alexia. little mila blurb :) brief mention of anxiety, no other warnings!
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It wasn’t even the baby crying that woke you up. It was the quiet sniffles and whimpers from next to you in bed that really woke up. You were expecting Mila to cry; sleep training her was going… rather roughly. It was difficult, because sometimes there would be long stretches where she would sleep through the night, and other times there would be weeks on end that she’d wake up throughout the night. The baby was going through a sleep regression at the moment, though, which restarted the conversation about sleep training. She was already 8 months, and well past ready for it, but you’d been met with resistance. Not just from Mila, but also from Alexia. 
You knew it went against every single one of your wife’s instincts to let Mila cry it out. It felt that way for you, too, but you were a much heavier sleeper, and for some reason, much more convinced that sleep training was the way to go. Alexia had many hesitations. The biggest of which was that if her baby cried for her, she was going to comfort her. 
So, waking up to crying wasn’t new. Waking up to Alexia crying, though? That was new. 
“Love?” You asked groggily, rolling over to face your wife, who was staring up at the ceiling with tears streaming down her face. You didn’t really process the crying coming from the baby monitor, much too concerned with why your stoic wife was in pieces next to you, in the middle of the night. Alexia only let out a soft cry in response, one not unlike the sound your daughter made. 
“What’s wrong, baby?” you cooed, allowing Alexia to roll into you and sob roughly into your chest. She shook her head, not giving you an answer. “Tell me, what is it?” You pressed. 
“She sounds so sad,” Alexia cried. Realization washed over you, and you shut your eyes tightly for a minute, not proud of the annoyance that washed over you. This process could have been done already if it hadn’t been for Alexia’s insistence to bring Mila to sleep in your bed any time she cried.
“I know, Ale. She’s okay, though. She’ll fall back asleep soon.” You soothed, carding your fingers through her hair in a manor you hoped was comforting.  
“No, she needs me.” Alexia complained, looking up at you with a pout that, again, really resembled your daughter’s. You fought back a smile at the sight, stroking her cheek delicately. 
“She’s fine. She’s old enough for this, Alexia. She has to learn how to self-soothe.” 
Alexia frowned at you. “She doesn’t. It’s unnecessary, I will always be there to soothe my baby.” Alexia knew she was being ridiculous, but she couldn’t help it. All the little cries radiating from the baby monitor were making her feel like she was being stabbed repeatedly. 
“Alexia,” you sighed. Maybe it was the hour of the night, or maybe it was the emotions your wife was feeling, but your words sounded condescending to her. She didn’t appreciate that. Being so emotional was new to her, and she was still self conscious about it, and this felt like you were making fun of her for it. She rolled off of you, refusing to meet your gaze. 
“I do not understand how this is so easy for you.” Alexia said accusingly. 
And maybe because you were exhausted, you took that in a worse way than Alexia intended. “Yes, Alexia, it is SO easy for me to hear my baby cry for me, and not go to her. Don’t be ridiculous.” You bit back.
“Well, it seems easier.” Alexia scoffed. 
“It seems easier because one of us has to put their foot down about this, and it’s clearly not going to be you. I’m doing what’s best for Mila.” 
“And I am not. You are the perfect mother, with all the right opinions, and I am wrong about everything.” Alexia exaggerated, rolling her eyes and crossing her arms over her chest. It was a low blow; Alexia knew that you felt like far from the perfect mother, and it felt like she was throwing that in your face. 
A few tears stung your eyes, and you shook your head, moving to slide out of the bed. “I’m going to sleep on the couch.” You mumbled startling slightly when a large arm wrapped around your waist and pulled you back. 
“No, no please stay. I am sorry, so sorry. I am just upset, I did not mean any of that. Please, please stay.” Alexia pleaded, and something in her tone, something more than sincerity, had you turning around and looking carefully at your wife. You should have seen it before, that she wasn’t just upset about this. In your defense, she had promised to be better about telling you. 
“What’s going on?” You asked, although you knew, placing a gentle hand on Ale’s cheek. 
She breathed deeply for a few seconds before she spoke. “I am anxious.” She admitted, voice barely audible. “I cannot fall asleep, and it just gets worse and worse every time she wakes up and cries, I feel like I am going to throw up.”
“Ale,” you sighed, seeing for the first time how pale your wife looked, how unsteady. “Are you going to be sick?” It wouldn’t be the first time. Alexia hadn't ever experienced anxiety like this in her life, and was horrified the first time it happened. The first time Mila got a little cold, and Alexia worked herself up so much that she made herself sick. She was so embarrassed, even as you reassured her that it was a completely normal symptom of anxiety. It had only happened a few times since, but Alexia always got so teary and emotional when it happened. 
She shook her head though, taking another deep breath. “¿Puedo tener un abrazo, por favor?”
“Of course you can.” You told her, sliding off the bed and standing with your arms open on the side of it, knowing it was Alexia’s favorite way to hug you. It made her feel smaller than you, made her feel protected and safe. Alexia scooted over right away, wrapping her arms tightly around you, her head pressed against your chest. “Mila is okay, baby. She’s fine, she’s getting quieter, sí?” 
That didn’t seem to make Alexia feel better, though, her breathing picking up again as she tilted her head up, and rested her chin on your chest. 
“Can I please go check on her?” Alexia asked shakily. You didn’t want it to be like this; good cop bad cop. Alexia asking you permission to do things. She was just as much her mother as you were, and if Alexia needed to check on her, that was always going to be okay. You knew your wife wouldn’t relax until she saw that the baby was okay. 
“Go get her, bring her back here.” You said, smiling to yourself when Alexia practically ran from the room. You heard her over the monitor entering the room, and you melted a little at how soft she sounded. 
“Hola mi princesa, estás bien, estás bien. Te tengo mi bebe, te tengo.” Alexia cooed. You could hear the moment she picked Mila up, the baby’s cries instantly quieting as she snuggled close to her mami. “Te amo, te amo, te amo, te amo,” Alexia repeated, her voice fading from the monitor as she walked back towards the bedroom. 
Mila was practically already asleep when Alexia walked back into the room with her, and you resisted the urge to point out that she was probably only a few minutes away from falling asleep herself. Alexia didn't need that right now. 
Your wife slid back onto the bed, laying Mila on her chest, fixing you with a sheepish smile as she did so. 
“Do you feel better?” You asked. Alexia nodded, though she avoided your eyes and her face burned red. “You don’t need to be embarrassed, it’s okay. I shouldn’t have been so harsh earlier. I know this is hard for you, I should have been more understanding. I’m sorry this makes you so nervous.”
“I am sorry too. I was not kind to you, I was just very upset.” Alexia explained, absentmindedly rubbing one large hand over Mila’s back. The baby was wearing a onesie with footballs all over it, and she looked so snuggly and adorable laid on your wife, it was hard to focus on Alexia’s words. “I do not want to be a… helicopter parent. Sometimes I get so scared, though, I just need to know she is okay.” 
“That makes sense, Ale, that’s okay. I just need to know when you’re anxious and you need to see her, and when you’re just upset that she’s upset.” 
“I can do that.” Alexia said. “I just… I love her so much. Look at her, amor. She is so perfect.” 
You both looked down at the baby, who was sitting up under the gaze of you both. She slid off Alexia, plopping down in between the two of you, a gummy smile on her face. 
“Hi my baby,” you cooed, completely and utterly distracted from the conversation you’d been having with your wife. Mila sighed, flopping down until her head was resting on your pillow, though her face was turned towards Alexia. “You see your Mami?” You asked, not really expecting any kind of response.
Alexia turned on her side, grinning at her daughter. “Hola Milabear,” she whispered, booping the baby on her nose. Mila giggled, a sound that made you both melt into a puddle. Alexia reached out and grabbed her, easily lifting the baby up into the air and flying her around, making airplane sounds. 
“Alexia, it is supposed to be bedtime.” You admonished, though you couldn’t wipe the grin off your face as Mila continued to giggle, and your wife continued to look so light and happy. 
“We are having Mila and Mami time, amor, I cannot interrupt.” Alexia said, bringing the baby down to kiss her nose every few seconds. “Mila and Mami.” She whispered again, finally laying Mila back down on her chest. Her hand stroked over the back of the baby’s head, trying to calm the now very awake child down. 
“Mmmm,” Mila hummed, squirming around in Alexia's grasp until she was sat up on top of your wife, staring down at her.  “Mmmm. Mami.” She babbled, catching one of Alexia’s fingers and trying to drag it into her mouth. 
“What?” Alexia said, her face completely stricken with surprise. 
“Maaaami,” Mila sang again, giggling at the silly look on her Mami’s face. 
“Amor!” Alexia shouted, glancing ecstatically at you while sitting up suddenly and holding Mila up so the baby was at eye level with her. Evidently, the abrupt action startled Mila, and she immediately burst into tears. “No, no no no. I am sorry mi niña, I did not mean to scare you.” Alexia soothed, pulling Mila in and rocking her back and forth soothingly. 
“Mami,” Mila whimpered sadly, hiding her face in your wife’s shirt. Alexia was in tears, too, but had the biggest smile you’d ever seen on her face, staring at you in wonder. 
“She said my name.” She murmured, almost looking confirmation that she wasn’t having some kind of auditory hallucination. 
“She did.” You smiled, reaching out to run your fingers through Mila’s short curls. 
“I can’t believe she said my name first.” Alexia continued, holding the baby to her in a way that made you doubt whether she would ever let go. 
“Me neither. I carry her for 9 months, get my body cut open so she can be born, and this is how she repays me?” You joked, not really caring at all that Mila had chosen Alexia’s name to be her first word. 
“I’m sorry, amor. We’ve been practicing, but we practice your name too, I promise.” Alexia said worriedly, her eyes scanning your face for any hint that you were being serious. 
You laughed at how concerned she was, leaning over to kiss her cheek. “I’m kidding, Ale. You are a great Mami, and Mila is very lucky to have you. Which I think she knows.” You nodded your head to where the baby had fisted Alexia’s sleep shirts in her tiny hands, her eyes sliding shut as she nuzzled in close to Ale’s chest 
Alexia blushed hard, her face turning bright red. “I am more lucky to have her and you both.” She mumbled, somehow allergic to taking compliments when it came to being a good mother. You shook your head, laying back down on the bed and pulling Alexia to join you. Only when you were both resting against your pillows, Mila passed out in between you, did you reply.
Pressing your forehead to your wifes, you poured all your love and admiration into your words. “We are the most lucky to have you, Alexia. You are the best wife, and the best Mami, and I love you very much.” 
If possible, Alexia blushed even harder, nudging her face into the crook of your neck. “I love you.” Her words were muffled, but you could feel her sincerity. 
You sighed happily, thinking that you’d be content to stay right here, with both your girls, forever. 
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this won the poll after like an hour and i was too impatient to wait any longer so i hope this doesn't disappoint :)
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astralis-ortus · 4 months
Text
you are my sunshine
✱ a bang chan headcanon
— you'll never know, dear, how much i love you.
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w.count → 0.6k genre → slice of life, fluff warning → just watching chan (chris) being a parent :> a.n → something light because brain.exe couldn't handle words atm :> also, would you believe me if i said the actual idea behind this was this specific tiktok... lolㅠ ⋆ see masterlist
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growing up, you were always sure you didn’t want to have any kids. you have your reasons, but ultimately, you’re scared you couldn’t be the kind of parents you wanted to be and you don’t want another soul to have to bear those sort of consequences after your inability to be one. you should be the one carrying them, even if it meant people will judge you for it.
being together with chris, however, had changed your mind.
no, not because he coaxed you into wanting one or anything like that—you knew he wanted to have kids, but he wasn’t even bothered when you told him about the matter when the topic of marriage came up. but then, whenever you see him doing even the most mundane of things... you just knew you’d be just fine raising a child together with him.
chris would be very hands on as soon as your baby arrives. he knows the best temperature for the baby formula, he knows how to wash and sterilize the baby bottle, he knows how to change your baby’s diaper—heavens, sometimes you even wondered if chris was a walking encyclopedia for any baby related matters.
chris would also be the one taking care of your baby throughout the night. ‘i’m already up anyway, you deserve the night’s sleep’ he reasoned, and being a man of his words, you would actually sleep through the night as chris would go as far as setting a bassinet in his home studio to make sure he’d be able to keep an eye on your baby while he works.
as your child grew up, chris would make sure to attend as many of the parents-teacher meeting as he possibly could. he knew the nature of his work would cause him to be away for quite a period of time when he had to, but he when he could, he would even collude with your kid to ask you to let their dad be the one to take part for the next meeting. he just loved to be present when he could, and you could see it through the way he laugh with your kid.
your child’s puberty hits chris the hardest—your kid did not grow distant in any kind, they still look for their parents a lot, but for chris who used to be attached to your kid like a stamp on an envelope, letting your kid learn how to slowly become their own person felt like he’s slowly losing the little sunshine who used to only look for him. chris knew it’s going to happen eventually, but for the time being, he’ll keep himself busy with the tons of pictures and videos he took when his baby was younger.
another big wave of blue hits when chris had to send off your now young adult child to college. chris wouldn’t let you nor your child see, but you know the tears his studio had seen after you two had gone home from the airport, mere hours after your child flew thousands of miles away to chase after their dreams. despite the amount of calls and texts your family groupchat exchanged, it wasn’t the same without your child being home.
lastly, chris would finally let his tears be known when he had to let his little sunshine start off their own little family. the realization that the little baby who once fits in his arms is now ready to become a parent themselves were proven a little too overwhelming for chris—but everyone understood. everyone saw the mountain that is chris’ love for his child, and they understood.
not to worry, though—because now whenever your child visits with their own little bean,
chris had found himself another sunshine to take care of.
©️ astralisortus, 2024. | likes and reblogs are highly appreciated♡
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