#i'm interested in people's choices idk
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So I've been thinking lately about how Mithrun is Kabru's dark mirror (more on that another time- it needs its own post), and I thought it interesting that one of their parallels is that they were both cared for by Milsiril, but in opposite directions. She took Kabru in as her foster after he was orphaned and tried to convince him not to become an adventurer. On the flip side, she helped rehabilitate Mithrun specifically so that he could rejoin the Canaries.
And I kept wondering: why?
For Kabru, obviously she loves him a whole lot- despite any other shortcomings in their relationship, I do believe that.
So I get why she tries to convince him not to go dungeoning, and, failing that, at least prepares him as thoroughly as she can.
But why help Mithrun? She used to hate Mithrun, but after realizing what a secretly twisted person he was, she actually thought of him more positively (oh, Milsiril). So it wasn't as if she held the kind of grudge that might motivate her to make his already-depleted life even more miserable by sending him back to the dungeons. And it wasn't that she felt bad for him either, since she didn't visit Mithrun for the first ~20 years of his recovery.
The Adventurer's Bible says that Utaya was the impetus for Mithrun returning to the Canaries, but Milsiril is the one who made the trip to see him and tell him about it.
Why would Milsiril work so hard to get her old coworker back into fighting fit? Why encourage him to return to such a dangerous lifestyle, when she was the one who chose not to mercy-kill him?
That last panel is such a crazy thing to hint at and then never elaborate on. Without it we could have just thought that Milsiril wanted the Canaries' work to continue without her, even if it seemed out of character. I think some people even assume she's just a natural caretaker as a foster mom and handwave it to include nursing Mithrun too. What could Milsiril's suspicious motives be? What does she gain from Mithrun joining the Canaries that isn't an altruistic desire to see dungeons safely sealed? Feeling a sense of responsibility for the work she left behind isn't an ulterior motive.
My theory is: Milsiril, knowing that Mithrun was empty save for the burning desire to face the demon again, wound him up like a clockwork doll and pointed him back at the dungeons.
Hoping that he'd eliminate the biggest threat to Kabru's life, before it was too late for him.
Milsiril the puppetmaster.
#Mithrun#Milsiril#Kabru#btw I'm working with the only translations I could find sorry#so keep that in mind#like it just seemed WEIRD to me#that gloomy introverted Milsiril#who left the life of a Canary behind#decided to do this Canary-adjacent work of helping this guy#maybe the queen made her do it because so many people died and they needed more Canaries idk!#but why would anyone pick Milsiril as a life coach? I really think it was her own choice#it's so interesting how we get these hints of a downright sinster Milsiril#I really like the complicated relationship she and Kabru have#struggling to fully humanize him from her elven perspective#but still taking him seriously wrt: his fears over being a monster or his desire to go to a party!#crazy stuff there#everything about Kabru and adjacent to Kabru is insane what a character
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detransition is something that should Absolutely be talked about but the idea of going into this tag terrifies me beyond belief
#ramble#things they'll never tell you about detransition:#it is Not always by choice!! a lot of the time it's for financial/social reasons#and a lot of detransitioners go on to retransition#technically i'm a detransitioner BECAUSE of terf/transmed bullshit and i'll tell the story if anyone is interested#and like. the people in the news aren't the average detransitioner#they're saying 'it wasn't right for me so therefore nobody should have it'#also trans people and detransitioners are not enemies. we don't hate eachother#idk i have a lot of thoughts and i can't articulate them but i know what i want to say
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not enough discussion about the gavins' complicated relationship with feminine-coded/beauty products, i don't think.
#for klavier because it's not as direct it's about how we never see him actually wearing lipstick? even though apollo literally attends#a concert of his which is where you'd most expect him to wear makeup. but apparently he just doesnt. or at least not in public#klavier gavin#kristoph gavin#i feel like there are several ways you can read into it. the misogyny/toxic masculinity one is really obvious clearly with kristoph's#singling out of men specifically and klavier's (probably accidental?) condescending manner of calling women 'fraulein' plus his general#mildly patronising attitude towards many of the women in the game (also probably unintentional)#(i think he's trying to be charming and it's coming off wrong to some of them. like ema. and me.)#but i feel like there's also maybe an element of... inherent perfecfionism to it? like both of these products are conventionally beautifyin#products and kristoph while he is open to showing people he uses nail polish specifically chooses one that's clear and missable unless you#see him apply it. he also feels the need to justify his use of it and specifically spell it out as something he chooses to do rather than#needs to do even though duh. that should be obvious.#idk there's just something about his seeming need to take control of that narrative that i find interesting. his need to spin it into a#'there's nothing wrong with my nails but I had the foresight to see that even the smallest parts of my appearance should be kept immaculate#and it's a choice i'm making to refine an already adequate part of my personage /not/ to cover some unsightly defect.' the need to emphasis#that specifically is so. hm. and with klavier i could see it being a case of him liking makeup liking the pops of colour yet being unwillin#to admit to it because he's afraid that other people might see it as him being dissatisfied with his own appearance regardless of if he is#or isn't. or even just perceiving colourful makeup as being unseemly because it's so overt and unnatural.#like i can see this as them both viewing 'real' beauty to be that which is inherent to a person and seemingly effortless#thus somehow negating the beauty which one achieves through cosmetics or other external means.#and if you want to use external means to achieve beauty or neatness or whatever then your only valid options are those which blend into you#natural state. like clear nail polish. or really awful spray tan.#i feel like klavier's less confined by these ideas (if they hold merit at all) considering he actually owns coloured lipstick and he wears#jewellery (admittedly quite 'masculine' jewellery no gems or pearls or anything like that but jewellery nonetheless) but i think it just#makes it more interesting that he doesnt seem quite able to cross the line anyway. like it's that ingrained into his system.#anyway that's all i've got. you guys should tell me what you think too#annotations
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yes i'm rooting for m*leven breakup because byler is neat but mostly? i'm rooting for m*leven breakup for the sake of el and mike.
to me, their romance was always a puppy love born out of a combination of social pressures, naïve curiosity, and a lack of true understanding regarding intimacy and romantic love and what it really is. it was real in that they do truly, deeply care about each other and they are close friends, maybe even shared an attraction, but a maturing romance is so much more than that. they've grown up and out of being boyfriend/girlfriend, and that's okay! i think television/film needs to show more often that most of us don't have definite "soulmates" or first childhood loves that we spend our whole lives with. it doesn't mean these relationships meant nothing and didn't impact us, it just means they've run their course and that something else is in the cards, and this is part of life!
i've always felt el was at her best and most confident self when broken up with mike, discovering who she was and what she liked alongside another girl her age instead of just relying on mike for mentorship on how to live in the real world. she deserves more of an opportunity to find herself, her autonomy, and her independence, and to love who she is, and she's made it clear she's felt insecure in the relationship with mike because she isn't being loved and understood the way she wants, needs, and deserves from someone who is her partner.
also, it's okay if mike doesn't love her in "the way he should". he is not obligated to love her romantically and stay in a relationship with her just because she's a girl, because she "needed someone", or because he cares about her a lot. he shouldn't be pressured into a romance if it's not truly coming from his heart. he deserves freedom to find out and honour who he is, too, instead of just staying in his non-functional first relationship — one he got into as a child, essentially — and defining himself that way because it's what's expected when a boy and a girl are close. he loves her in some way, yes, but it's okay if he doesn't feel comfortable or secure being her boyfriend anymore, for whatever reason that is. he's felt insecure too, and that's valid and it matters.
they are their own people and are steadily growing and changing every day. they need time to figure out who those people are, and it's become clear (at least in my opinion) that those people aren't meant to be a couple at this stage.
they deserve freedom. they deserve to grow up and be authentic to themselves and not feel like they need to lie for the sake of a relationship. they deserve to move on from this version of their relationship that isn't making them happy and rekindle the best part of their bond: their strong, beautiful friendship. they don't have to be a couple if it doesn't make them stronger and better and happier people.
i think it would be healthy and wonderful for a show, especially one consumed frequently by young adults, to show a relationship starting, progressing, and ending on good terms in this way. sometimes things don't work out, and that is okay.
#eve text#elmike#stranger things#byler#only tagging byler because i feel like yall will like this take lol#tagging tagging tagging WHAT ARE EVERYONE ELSE'S THOUGHTS#god i can't believe i'm making a post about stranger things. this feels like poking a bear#i'm not particularly anti m*leven but like... they'd have to do something pretty special at this point for me to feel like it's viable#i'm seeing the bts of s5 and it's got me Having Thoughts#elmike friendship is something i am so passionate about#even before i ever liked byler (didn't ship at all until s4 even though i knew it was a thing before) i've felt this way about elmike#i always believed they were close friends at heart and needed to break up#the romance part of them felt very distinctly young and very much “he was a boy she was a girl” to me#and it hasn't deepened into anything more mature and i don't see how it could based on the current state of the writing...#the fact that lumax exists — a young relationship that is actively maturing and is healthy — makes that clear to me#and the “love confession” in s4 and how disingenuous and miserable it felt was just the nail in the coffin#also the fact that will (who is IN LOVE with mike) was instrumental in making it happen? ... uh... okay... interesting choice…#fucked up and reductive if they make it another queer unrequited love sacrifice for the sake of pushing the heterosexual agenda YUCK#so i really hope the speculation about a m*leven breakup is real!! i think it just makes sense for their characters but who knows#i don't believe in the notion of love at first sight or one true love and i think the writers don't too???#love to me is an accumulation of experiences and we inevitably choose it at some point rather than fall into it... but idk#tv is so fixated on keeping couples together... sometimes it's just not reality guys especially with young people... LET IT GO...#like i said though i'm not 100% sold that they're going to give up their “golden couple” LMAO#stranger things hasn't historically subverted too many tropes if i'm being honest#anyway i seriously need this season to come out quickly... i'm so bored and getting my master's is crushing my soul#i need frivolity#ALSO btw i won't respond to hateful messages about this so please don't bother. it's not that serious. this is a netflix show
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my nelvas and moraak thought crumblets
#text#eaaaaaaaaaasy Peasy#actually i'm upset now because i had to read at least some things m*raak says during DB quest and omfggggg the absolute snoozefest that is#- his character i'm actually knocked out and drooling on my pillow#the fact that he has fans is solely bc he's pushed to the forefront as the big bad. cus he has goldfish IQ and idk.. personality of -#- some pebbles in reality#the only good thing to come out of his existence is The sexxxxxxy ass fact that mora protected him (and then decided to marinate him)#i think he falls flat badly just cause he doesn't have something to fall back on; idk how to describe it tho#i think making the Big Bad the character who is 5000+ but was dormant and useless all the time is um..... it was a choice#idk what's up with him but his character doesn't even have the value it should theoretically#Nah that's crazy bc why does t*lvas have a more interesting personality from like 10 voicelines than that abortion#but i'm not mad cus t*lvas is superior to every other character on that island like i mean it#mostly cus he bounces off n*loth's personality really well. to Me#this might just be my personal bias tho bc i do only like characters that are down-to-earth and 'normal people' more than the ones that r -#- very overblown to the point where they're just marvel villains#i would rather lsiten to some working class elf serving dinner at a political gathering than to anything m*raak has to whine about#i remember saying the same things about m*raak like 2 years ago when i didn't talk much and someone pointed me to a mod or smth and -#- like 🤦♀️ no offense but maybe i will actually take whatever happened in canon over the shakespearian Dookie the fans will be writing -#- about him#i think there's no point in building a bigger and impactful backstory or motives to him if in canon he was meant to be ass#'meant' as in it turned out to be ass#cus i don't actually believe sk*rim characters are rly that much very 'Badly written' really.. and there are things to dig out of what -#- a character has#and if one of them has nothing pleaselet him die . No i'm jk
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Not only have several of my former classmates gotten married, just found out that now one is having a kid?? 😭😭 just reiterating: i cant believe some people my age are doing that dklsldls. Where do they find time to work/study AND develop intricate crown prince rudolf headcanons once they do that
#married people and parents still have hobbies yadda yadda. you dont need to tell me that kslsld its a joke#its interesting how strong an emotional reaction of Otherness i have to these types of news dkkdld. like its always 'good for them but i#dont think i could ever want this'#i mean im not opposed to gay marriage in my future depending on how life plays out but i would not want to do it to 'settle down' i think#dont necessarily want a big house a garden a golden retriever or a car 😭#and def no kids#i guess its partly a reaction to kind of.... idk at a younger age more people are more 'restless' like me and then many change their minds#so its invalidating to be 'left alone' when you used to have allies who could relate to your life choices/wishes haha#i think being gay complicates this... i used to think it was a blessing for making it less of an expectation but actually turns out soooo#many girls on dating apps and online have or really want kids 😭 and i'm just like. good for you but this doesnt work for me#ugh anyway yeah. you guys better still be following me for rudolf posting when i'm 45 with a mortgage and an evil day job x#xD#you can take time off from your spouse and kids to log onto tumblr com and look at this shit 🥰🥰 for md ☺️#me*
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Hello Bat!! I love love love reading your thoughts on things, from motogp to terrible 2000s tv shows. You mentionned great Smallville Lex/Clark fic in a recent post, and I was wondering: could you please share? I literally just finished rereading the Astolat's and still hunger for more.
yeah sure!! I'm kinda coasting off my ao3 history here (apparently I spent the entirety of 30/10/22 Having A Moment) so it's like,, a very imperfect list
okay, I'm gonna start with a bunch of seperis fics but I'd genuinely check out... all their stuff. it's just a fun read of the characters!! also there's so much of it and it's a good time to work your way through
A Handful Of Dust 47k words
At the end of the world, Lex can't stop running.
quite a dark and sad fic but I think about it a lot and it really works for me. it's basically a post-apocalyptic fic where the apocalypse is caused by clark being pushed over the edge and succumbing to his god complex. he's hunting down his former friends and allies, including lex. I think this kind of premise can easily be like... edgelord central 'ooh what if the hero were actually the villain', but this one feels true to the characters and their relationship + is very engaging
Advanced Masochism 8.6k words
In which Lex is curious as to why he's become a proxy stalker.
a small series that consists of lex trying to make the whole clark/lana situation work while doing his best to suppress his attraction to clark. lex's internal monologue in this is fun and punchy - though a lot of it is about his age gap to clark, which never like... feels THAT extreme in the show because tom welling *gestures*. but if that element makes you uncomfortable, I'd give this one a skip!
My Usual Lie 4.1k words
He wants to be so much more than that.
ice skating!! kinda melancholic but also idk a little sweet. it's clark spending time with lex after he's already grown up and they've already grown apart and clark misses the way it used to be between the two of them... again also ABOUT the age gap. lex is such a fun kinda slippery presence here, funny and kind but also a little detached
Frantic 9.1k words
In which Clark does not get dinner. And then everything goes downhill.
oh yeah I really enjoy re-reading this one. clark finally is forced to reveal his powers to lex at an inopportune moment, when evil goo is attempting to kill them both. no angst, just bickering
Resident Alien 2.7k words
It's tax season in the Luthor household.
just short and sweet and fun! established relationship, does what it says on the tin, lex is very into taxes. he's also very into clark
Closer to Breathing 8.6k words
Christmas parties at Luthor Manor. Boys sharing thoughts with brandy. And other things.
really lovely read, tender and fun and just kinda... nails a version of lex who is so very good at what he does, who might be loathed but can charm the small town people anyway, and a clark who stands at crossroads between being part of the small town and not liking the feeling of seeing lex play people like HIM (but not him). gets into a lot of the inherent tensions of that relationship!! love lex the outsider
Vix Te Agnovi 36.8k words
Clark gets a late-night call and interesting things happen.
again, age gap-centric warning!! lex asks clark to pick him up from a sex party. very much about the tension between the worldly metropolitan lex and the country boy hick clark, and both of them kinda entering into each other's worlds... lex reckoning how he's changed, clark curious and awkward and frustrated at being treated like a child (which. he very much is)
A Life More Ordinary 4.1k words
It wasn't sudden, and Lex didn't know it was happening until it had. And then he did.
aggressively not ABOUT superman, it's just about lex and clark. about lex and clark being flatmates. soft and gentle and intimate
Two Paths 21.8k words
Everything decided in one breath.
man I WISH there were more of the series. the basic premise is the whole smallville lie falls apart and lex is trusted to like... get clark out of there and hide him. so basically clark becomes his ward!! they live together!! lex needs to be an Adult who Takes Care of clark, but again. conflicted. this is just fun like it's such a funky dynamic that feels like an absolute perfect nightmare for lex specifically
and fics by other authors:
The Olive Branch by tasabian, 3.9k words
It's the holidays...which means Lex Luthor is keeping Superman very busy. But what is Lex's hidden agenda?
lex does crimes to get clark's attention. they're cute idc
When a Strawberry Is Pushed into a Mountain by Thamiris, 33.1k words
Away at college, Clark learns to read between the lines and finds his future there.
college!clark!! a few misunderstandings and tricky emotions that serve as a backdrop for the care clark and lex show for each other... I quite like it when fic doesn't like,, cut out their terrible parents
The Butterfly Effect by The Spike, 11.6k words
Lex can't let this Cassandra thing go.
remember that old prophecy lady from s1? well, what if lex injected himself with something that gave himself the power to see the future too, and was horrified and traumatised by what he saw? feat. clark taking care of him and papa kent playing the role of the homophobic dog
Going Home by mskatej, 5.5k words
Lex has amnesia.
amnesia future fic! clark comes to the rescue a little too late and takes care of lex. warning: the amnesia creates some issues of consent
where the colors are by museaway, 10.3k words
After Clark rescues Lex from Belle Reve, they flee to Canada to start a new life. Although his age and the need for discretion limit his options, Clark does his best to support them. But despite Clark's loyalty, Lex continues to have nightmares of his time in the asylum and worries that one day, Clark will leave him—or that the rescue was entirely in his head.
this scratches a very straightforward itch: the one where clark successfully saves lex in season three and chooses him. kinda nice and comforting even in its melancholy of not being able to return home again... y'know, sometimes you want something exactly like this
light the torch and pass it on by ang3lba3, 19.8k words
Clark starts behaving erratically, and it's up to Lois and Lex to figure out how to fix him. Thankfully, the paper cuts off there. Clark is faint, sweating. He thinks he’s hard. He checks. Yes. Yes, he is. He flips the paper over. In a deep purple ink, almost black, is an unsigned note. I think we can come to a mutually satisfactory conclusion on this matter. “Oh my god,” Clark whispers, thrilled. “He’s blackmailing me.”
lex/clark/lois. clark is having like... a weird alien hormone situation and it means he's weird towards both lex and lois. lex knows clark is superman but they're still very much enemies here, so this is the push that gets them to change their relationship. this one's just fun! sweet, good banter between lex/lois, it's obvious beneath it all how much they care for clark and clark does for them
The Milk and Cookies War by Punk, 6.2k words
Lex Luthor's Penthouse for Wayward Boys.
college!clark shows up at lex's place and makes himself at home. my favourite scene in this one is a brief interlude where lex is bitchy to his father
m2m by rivkat, 2k words
For thefourthvine, prompt: Craigslist. Clark gets curious about all those superhero kink offers.
what it says on the tin. I think you can probably guess who's demanding a superman lookalike. this fic made me laugh
Risk Management by tasabian, 7.3k words
A bad day for Metropolis reunites Clark and Lex.
future fic where lex almost dying sparks the reconciliation. ... I'd also just rec checking out all their fics tbh
The Grope of Destiny by suzvoy, 19.7k words
Clark had no idea how he was going to explain *this* one.
clark and lex are physically stuck together, and it's what prompts the reveal. always satisfying!!
Candy Cane Hearts by tasabian, 4.6k words
A new brand of candy makes Clark unusually mellow; Lex finds it all very confusing. Written for the Under Mistletoe challenge.
another christmas-y fic, another fic where clark acts weird! basically whenever you remove clark's inhibitions, he whisks lex off. just sweet and charming
No Choice by mskatej, 4.3k words
Clark is in heat.
okay. listen. you need to un-repress them, right. again, this is taking license of some weird alien biology. lex's blend of caring about clark so much and also needing him and also feeling weird about it and also being very into the whole alien thing but also kinda freaked by it... the classic dynamic
The Hinge Moment by tasabian, 14.8k words
Superman has a bad day; Lex just happens to be there.
clark kidnaps lex! but like, in a nice way. a lot of these fics don't REALLY engage with canon all that closely, but this is a future fic that definitely does. gives them the chance to actually have some conversations, y'know. some days I don't actually want them to forgive each other easily, but sometimes it's nice to scratch the itch of having slightly older and more mature versions of them figuring out their issues. really well written
I might add some more at some point but I only had the energy to go through a few right now lol and well I imagine you'd rather like them now than in like. three months. also psa: pLEASE feel free to send in smallville fic recs to this account, I'm always happy to receive them
#what is motogp if not a terrible noughties show#i have to say i'm thrilled by there apparently being more than two people out there who have this overlap in interest#//#batsplat responds#smallville#typing these out i did have a moment of 'hm there really should be more s3 specific angst fic' but well#when i first had my smallville phase i was very much in the. lemme just marinate in this dynamic#like idk i don't HATE clark's choice in s3 as long as it comes with. actual narrative consequences#i kinda want to read how that actually functions as locking in the tragedy!! and then maybe fix it but
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Poor Lestat laying in fetal position, looking so small and having dead eyes :( Armand saying he's come home was so creepy, wtf was he thinking. You know, this scene just doesn't make any sense to me, why would Lestat go out of his own will to a place that's the biggest ptsd trigger you can imagine. To punish himself I guess? Sometimes it feels like Rolin wants Lestat to have so much agency that he never allows him to be a victim. Kinda worried how they'll handle s3 wrt this. I hope they won't victim blame him for every bad thing that happened to him because 'he deserved it'.
Oh, anon, I'm sorry because this is probably not what you want to hear, but I love that Armand said that Lestat's come home by going back to the place he was turned and assaulted, because it feels really emotionally honest and true to these characters.
Claudia, Armand and Lestat are all victim-survivors, and I think the show's demonstrated that it's really curious as to what that means.
There's a school of thought that's currently becoming more understood in feminist circles that victim-survivors can often not believe each other, or diminish each other's experiences. The nature of the sort of abuse that Claudia, Armand and Lestat have all experienced is that they've had to process it to a point where they feel they are the expert of their story. They know what happeend to them, they've gone through a lot to know what happened to them, and it's a way for them to take control back of their own stories. An unfortunate side effect is that it can lead to these victim-survivors feeling they know more about your story than you.
They've survived it, so they feel they can tell who's the liar and who's the truthteller, who got off easy, who had it worse, who's stories are more than or less than, and that idea itself is a trauma response manifesting as something ugly, right? Abuse and assault are felt in so many different ways and manifest in so many diffferent forms, but this idea can take hold in victim-survivors as a means of taking control over what happened to them. If they can use - which Lestat does when he weaponises Claudia's rape against her in the train to force her to come home - undermine - which Claudia does against Lestat when she tells Louis not to take Lestat's truth as fact - or diminish - as Armand does against Lestat when he shrugs off Daniel's question about Magnus in 2.03 and talks about Lestat coming home in 2.08 - this subset of people will.
Armand is a character who has endured unimaginable sexual abuse. To divorce that from his understanding of Lestat's own trauma does both characters a huge disservice. How they navigate each other as two survivors of (very different!) forms of sexual violence is interesting, and it's unsurprising that Armand, having been groomed and assaulted by Marius, would view a maker's home as - - well, home.
And frankly regardless of that, if the show stays true to the book, Lestat will live there for a while after Magnus' death because he has no money, no one to call on, and no idea who he is now that he's been turned. Gabrielle lives with him for a while there! Magnus' tower is, in the books, a very complicated place for Lestat.
#why lestat would go there?#oh gosh anon#there are a multitude of reasons why people go back to sites of trauma#in fact it's very very common that people do#the idea that people's choices are dictated by triggers is frankly a very modern concept and one i think is#Not Real#(which is not to say that trigger warnings aren't important - they are - just how much they're engaged with varies drastically)#it's been something adopted online through therapy speak#idk#everyone i know who's been through Things - myself included - just#doesn't actually think like that#and the idea that there's any one way that trauma is processed and understood and talked about i think is either naive or actively harmful#please don't take this the wrong way#i'm not meaning it as a slap on the wrist#you're bringing up an opinion i think a lot of people have#and it's interesting to be asked about it and i'm more than open to having this discussion#especially as i'm working in these spaces at the moment#but yeah i think understanding that trauma isn't pretty or straightforward and does not make you a good ally to other survivors#(in fact can often make you a worse one)#is always an important thing to explore#iwtv asks#lestat asks#armand asks#tw sa
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I'd probably be less annoyed by bioware's choice to focus so heavily on a specific subsection of lore if it was a subsection of lore I actually liked
#Yeah I'll own up to that#Unfortunately exploring the old elven gods in depth is just like......why#I don't care about this at all#Sigh#Unfortunately I am one of those people who got really into dragon age for the politics#And the general sense of larger forces at work etc etc#Yes I know this makes me a weirdo#Idk I also find that when series get into the dealing with the gods stuff they kind of. um. tend to suck at it#There's never anything all that interesting going on with them (I have theories about why but whatever)#Anyway human choices and struggles are always more interesting to me#So yeah elven gods are maybe the thing I'm least interested in hearing about in the series sorry#Make them a catalyst for division and discussion between mortals and then we've got something!#But otherwise ughhh#I don't want to sound like I'm not excited for the game because I am!#I'm sure we'll get great companions and all that
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The Banshees of Inisherin / Polite Society / Spider-Man: Across the Spider-verse / Summer of Soul/They Cloned Tyrone /The Godfather/Rye Lane / Bottoms / Die Hard
9 Favourite First Time Watches: 2023
Tagged by @thatidomagirl and tagging @cryptiddies @icedsodapop @polarcell @naslostcontrol @kutputli @fishbarconcept and anyone else who wants to do it
#idk about you guys but i find something deeply poetic in the fact that godfather and bottoms are like. in the same convo#rwrb got pushed to 10th place when i remembered that i did actually watch the godfather trilogy this summer#hate to give a coppola some credit but the godfather is a classic for a reason#it even kept my mum (the jane austen addict who hates blood and violence) invested and awake for the full run time#marry me with jlo and owen wilson got pushed down to 11 when i remembered die hard asdfghj#the ones who got away (2023 releases) are joy ride and scrapper. and aftersun. and past lives#if i have to pick a fave it's rye lane#it was just so iconic in every way#the script the visual story-telling the characters#the peckham of it all#also quite funny how obviously i gravitate towards a movie of colour#like. white people can make great art and i'll likely get to it#but i've spent a whole lifetime seeing those movies and now i'm gonna go out of my way#to make sure i watch all the movies of colour that interest me#polite society and they cloned tyrone and rye lane really just tick all the boxes for me#in terms of like. sci-fi/magical realism within the plot or the visual choices#i really mourn the lack of attention they got but i also know neither of them got a cinema release in sweden#and neither of them got any kind of substantial promo in sweden#so i can only assume it's a similar deal in other places#tragically enough
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once again I'm asking you to indulge my curiosity
#pillars of eternity#something i noticed in a few let's plays and liveblogging posts#is that people just tend to leave them to die in the volcanic eruption#and idk i just wonder if it's deliberate or people legit don't know that you can save them#after you talk to magran by the lift you can turn back and talk to the rathun leader and convince them to evacuate#if you want that is like i said i'm more interested whether you know you have this choice rather than what you do with it
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Something seriously lacking in my art is the ability to tell a story in a single illustration.
I've gotten so used to drawing my characters standing around doing random things that I've never practiced telling a full tale/putting implications into my pieces that require more thinking/looking.
It also comes from a lower amount of details in my works by default [since I like to get pieces done fast], but I'm tired of using that as an excuse.
#vent#kinda#sorry I'm just having a rough one tonight but I'll recover lmao#I think the AI art thing is really getting to me cuz like.#Anyone can make pretty images if they study and practice hard enough#[not to detract from people who don't tell stories with their images!]#but something in my brain wants to fight back because AI will never be able to Tell a Story through its images.#It can't make narrative choices through its regurgitation of random elements. It will never tell a cohesive and interesting tale through#detail choice#the worst it can do is create surface-level 'pretty' images by smashing together a bunch of mushed up information#but storytelling? that's human touch#that's intention. Thought. Choices.#and idk it's really bothering me lately that my images almost never... 'say' anything about a character.#this does not apply to anyone else's art I look at#it's just a standard I'm starting to feel my head apply to my own work and nobody else's.#which I'm taking as a sign that this is something I'm unsatisfied with#but the thought of starting to develop a completely new skill like that? terrifyingly daunting.#Sorry for the wall of tags I'm havin' some hella moodswings tonight#happens a lot when I get inspired by art I see#which I'm trying to work on but yaknow#it's a long process#anyways how's your night goin#I'm gonna cheer myself up by eating some amazing asparagus casserole
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Quick PSA about this blog
The anon and I sorted it out over DMs so all is good now!
I'm not a huge Tetocest fan or anything, I just like it when someone draws really nice drawings of them and they happen to be Teto x Teto, so the chance of me drawing Teto x Teto is kinda low but not zero. Like I wrote in my chart, I mostly treat them as a cute pair of sisters, and that chart was a Miku x Teto chart because Negidrill is my OTP.
If I ever make Tetocest art, it's not with the assumption that they're sisters or related or seeing each other in a familial way. I'm grossed out by incest of any kind, and I'm also grossed out by pseudo-incest. Tetocest (selfcest) is literally Teto x herself/a different version of herself, not a relative or anything, so I wanted to make that clear.
I'll be tagging all my stuff that isn't quick doodles/text, so if you're anti-Tetocest or Teto x Teto or something, you can blacklist that tag or avoid me altogether because I don't hate it. The chance I'll draw actual Teto x Teto that isn't cute platonic love is like 5% though, 'cuz I like Miku x Teto more than anything and that's my main priority.
If anyone has beef with anything I like, I absolutely encourage you to unfollow me or avoid me because this is where I post art of MY interests and I don't want to be treated like a criminal in my own space.
My Miku x Teto is NOT proship (I always ship them around the same age) and I don't support proship or anything weird/immoral. I'm fine with criticism if I do something wrong but please don't be aggressive towards me because Mktt is extremely precious to me and I don't want to be chased away from my own space. You won't believe my ability to self-isolate lol but I'm not afraid of being alone, even if my love for Mktt will never die (especially not 'cuz of anyone).
For now I'll continue to draw/write Mktt/Voca/UTAUloid art at my own leisure with my own headcanons and interests, and I'm not doing it for attention. I'm doing it out of love for the characters.
Thanks for reading! ^^
#tldr; i'm not a diehard fan of tetocest but#i dont hate it either#mktt is still my otp#dont trash my interests pls since i'm in my own lane#that is all!#btw i might be low activity for a week or two cuz finishing something i procrastinated thru mktt#but after that i wanna go all in on mktt art!! i love ngdrll a lot#it makes me extremely happy so if people trash it or attack me then i'll get defensive/heated#im sharing stuff out of love and spreading the love but if i am only greeted with hate then#i wont disappear but u will not be given access to my stuff or me. like?? please.#looking forward to miku's bday! i havent figured out if i can do anything for her yet!#dont hate on anon btw it was a misunderstanding#they're anonymous anyway so u cant namedrop but i want to put this behind me now#mktt stop putting me thru rollercoaster emotions challenge (failed)#it's cuz i love them so much ok. sob 😭#u would get it too if you loved them as much as me#it's like being stabbed btw whenever anything bad happens lmao.#idk how that feels but all i know is the pain is felt and sharp and sad#it's not an addiction or an obsession. i just love them. end of.#hopefully forever#if u were me u'd get it but im not writing my backstory heh#i dont love them in a pathetic/unwilling way. it's all 100% choice and conscious#the really strong emotions however. those i do not choose lmfao.
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I don't know what I was on when I wrote some of these fics for Kinktober. I went from "3,000 words at max" to just doing whatever I wanted. American portion sizes and all that, I guess.
Anyways, here's some role reversal for my lovely ladies.
Written for Kinktober Day 24: Toys (Strap-ons)
Rating: E for Eh, she's got the Spirit if not the Stamina
Category: F/F
Ship: Shadowheart/Trans Fem Tav
Tags and Summary under the break.
Tags: Explicit Sexual Content, Shameless Smut, Trans Female Character, Half-Orc Tav, Role Reversal, Strap-Ons, Pegging, Anal Sex, Cunnilingus, Face-Sitting
Summary:
When Asheera has too much on her mind, too much on her shoulders, it inspires Shadowheart to help her let go for a night.
#bg3#bg3 fanfiction#shadowheart#shadowheart x tav#asheera x shadowheart#oc: asheera#kinktober#kinktober 2023#anotheropti's kinktober 2023#my fic#Shadowheart after a few years of lazy cottage living needs the practice to keep up that stamina#I know a couple folks were looking forward to this one and I hope it turned out like you wanted!#the term “pegging” is a mixed bag w/r/t trans women but for Asheera it's pegging#and Shadowheart definitely pegs Asheera often enough for it to be a Thing#anyways the word “peg” as a verb has lost meaning to me now#I'm endlessly curious about how people find my POV choices for these fics - I pick Shadowheart a lot and IDK how others feel about that?#bc I don't self-insert and just envision the moment/scene and pick based on whichever emotion/experience would be more interesting#p.s. I just looked and the Kinktober series wordcount will wind up at around 87k; why am I like this?
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ok. i read tom king's mister miracle run and tbh? i don't think i vibed with it. but it DOES read interestingly as a proto-strange adventures though.
#shitpost#very similar themes of fatherhood and legacy?#and. you know. the choice whether or not to give up your child to end a galactic scale war.#mister miracle makes the correct choice (which is. complicated by the question of the reality of it all) vs adam strange#who makes the VERY WRONG CHOICE that makes him honestly a full villain of the piece (and he already was. as well. the war crimes)#but yeah this is the first tom king i didn't like and I DO see what people are saying about the repetitiveness of his choices as well#i think his narrative WORKS in strange adventures and in human target (esp human target as a noire)#but i do not really think it quite works here. his writing for Barda also feels a bit weak#which is odd because he is trying to ground the cosmic-scale story in by rooting it with the couple on Earth#so it just doesn't quite click as well#to me. and I'm not sure how to work with the ending and the theme of escapism seems... off? IDK.#It was interesting but I was kinda skimming by halfway through it b/c tbh it just didn't feel good to read?#like his other stuff even int he dark tone has felt GOOD to read. dramatic and interesting#(adding riddler: year one to the context of what ive read by him but i have no specific comparisons to make to that book)#the 9 panel page does get exhausting too so i think that adds to it#but the other works have that style as well so like. idk.#anyways. I also read Barda#the recent one. and THAT was great#I need to remember/recall what my dad rec'd for Mister Miracle#i was just scrolling hte app and saw the tom king run and got curious because i DO like some of tom king's work.#shrug#read Barda though it was so so so so so good
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Nope, I'm still crying
#i wish literally anybody from school remembered me#literally only 2 people i was friends with hace talked to me in the past four years#i had the realization tonight that i was never given the choice to nurture most of my friendships#everytime i tried outside of school hours including trying to join clubs my mom would make me leave halfway through then lecture me#that she didn't have time to drive to town and get me#but as soon as my brother wanted to join junior air force she suddenly had all the time and energy in the world to devote to that#so what I'm getting here is that my friendships and interests weren't important enough or worth her time#i wasn't interested in Junior air force 1 cause it wasn't offered to me and 2 I'm not a boit licker#no#i was interested in the video game and board game clubs cause my friends were in them and they WANTED me to join#but after not getting to stay for more than one full session after a month i left the board game club cause it wasn't fair to the others#and i only went to the video game clu once and i don't remember much of it cause i was too anxious that she was gonna flip on me#i kept waiting for her text but instead she showed up at the classroom and made me leave#so when the same teacher that ran the board game club asked if i wanted to join the chess club cause he knew i liked chess#i told him i couldn't cause i was too busy because i didn't want to deal with begging my mom to let me join#she would have said yes but would have continued not letting me stay and being super passive aggressive#I'm not even in the year book for the year my friends graduated#the one thing she did let me do was drama and i hated every second of it. it was genuinely a bad experience for me#yeah i had friends in drama but it's not the same as hanging with my nerdy guy friends playing a star wars ttrpg#the worst part is she gets so defensive when i bring it up and won't give me a reason outside of 'I guess I'm just the worst parent'#it's in those moments i really remember she's the youngest in her family#OH!! it gets worse! she told me when i was younger that she had to be an honorary cheer leader cause HER MOM absolutely refused to#let her join cheer and she's alsways been bitter about it but then she turns around and did basically the same thing to me ffs#at least she was allowed to hang out with people after-school i wasn't allowed to do that either#no. instead i spent the hours after shcool alone most days and my weekends home alone in my room. and she wonders why my social skills are#maybe if I'd been allowed to work on my relationships outside of a classroom i wouldn't have felt so abandoned when everyone i knew#graduated without me. maybe if i didn't have to start back at square one socially again and had people to text and hang with after class#i wouldn't have dropped out. and i think only atlas knows i dropped out. idk how to text these people without spunding like I'm looking for#sympathy when they ask what I'm up to. like yeah I'm stuck at home with an anxiety disorder and unemployed trying to get on disability#prisma vents
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