#who makes the VERY WRONG CHOICE that makes him honestly a full villain of the piece (and he already was. as well. the war crimes)

[eyepatchdate]

ok. i read tom king's mister miracle run and tbh? i don't think i vibed with it. but it DOES read interestingly as a proto-strange adventures though.

[solxamber]

Oh Hero, My Hero || Riddle Rosehearts

You’re a villain. Riddle’s your destined hero. He wants to arrest you—you want to hold his hand. It’s love, it’s war, and honestly? You think you’re winning.

You are a villain. A rather good one, if you do say so yourself.

And you do. Often. With flair.

Not because you're arrogant—heavens, no—but because it’s important to maintain workplace morale. Your minions, bless their easily influenced hearts, thrive under positive reinforcement.

They chant your name with gusto during heists, schedule evil meetings with color-coded agendas, and once threw you a surprise “Congratulations on Burning Down That Insurance Building (For Tax Reasons)” party. You cried. It was beautiful.

Your lair is everything a villain could want: spiky towers, ominous mood lighting, and traps that range from “mild inconvenience” to “psychological evaluation required.” You’ve even installed a mechanism that drops glitter every time someone steps on the wrong tile. It’s technically not dangerous, but it is infuriating, which is honestly better.

Yes, life is good. But... something’s been missing.

You know how these stories go. For every great villain, there is a great hero. A dramatic, infuriating, righteous counterpart with impeccable hair and a moral compass that spins violently in your presence. You’ve read the lore. Studied the tropes. Ripped out pages from “The Villain’s Guide to Theatrical Longing” and taped them to your dream board.

One day, your hero will be chosen, and when they are, oh, what a pair you’ll make. You’ll clash! You’ll banter! You’ll bring balance to the world through mutually assured flirtation and destruction!

After all, that’s how it’s supposed to go, isn’t it?

It’s a slow day, which is the perfect time for a little recreational crime.

Nothing major, of course—you’re not cruel, you just think the local artifact museum has gotten far too cocky with its security system. Besides, the cursed amulet you’re currently attempting to swipe really ties together the “apocalyptic-chic” shelf in your lair.

You’re halfway through disarming the exhibit’s alarm—a very fiddly one, with far too many wires and a voice that keeps saying “You are not authorized to touch that” in an increasingly judgmental tone—when you hear it.

“Stop right there, villain!”

You pause.

Slowly, theatrically, you turn.

There, bathed in a ray of dramatic light that absolutely wasn’t there a second ago, stands a guy. No. A hero. Red hair, grey eyes, and an expression so stern it could cut glass. His hand is clenched around the hilt of his sword like he knows how to use it, and his entire posture screams “I memorized the moral code and I will recite it to you.”

You blink. Then beam. “Oh, you’re adorable. What’s your name?”

He blinks back, completely derailed. “...What?”

“Your name,” you say, stepping away from the pedestal like you’re not currently committing a felony. “I feel like we’re about to start a very meaningful rivalry and I’d rather not label you ‘that handsome one with the righteous fury.’ Although it does have a ring to it.”

He opens his mouth. Closes it. Opens it again. “Riddle,” he says eventually, in the tone of someone who isn’t sure how they ended up in this conversation and regrets all their choices. “My name is Riddle. Riddle Rosehearts.”

“Riddle,” you echo, tasting the name like fine wine. “Delightful. Very ‘divine mission meets repressed rage.’ I love it.”

He takes a step forward, clearly gearing up for a speech. You cut him off by snatching the amulet with a flourish and tucking it into your coat. “Well, Riddle, I’m afraid I have to run. Villainy doesn’t wait for anyone, you know. But don’t worry—we’ll see each other very soon.”

And then you skip away.

Like, full bounce-in-your-step, cartoon-character skipping. It’s important to commit to a bit.

Behind you, there’s a moment of silence. Then, from the museum steps, a cry of pure indignation:

“YOU CAN’T JUST LEAVE AFTER—WHAT WAS THAT?!”

You grin as the scream echoes after you.

Oh yes. He’s perfect.

It’s well past midnight when your latest act of moderately tasteful villainy concludes.

Tonight’s caper had a theme—“Revenge, but Make It Fashion”—and you’ve just successfully replaced the mayor’s wig collection with sentient moss creatures. It’s your finest work yet. You even left a calling card. It was scented.

You’re about to vanish into the night, cackling quietly to yourself and dodging a very judgmental pigeon, when a voice rings out.

“There you are!”

You freeze. Not out of fear, of course—you’re wearing your lucky boots, and they’ve never failed you. No, you freeze because you know that voice now. You like that voice. It’s the sound of divine justice and emotional constipation.

You turn around slowly, dramatically, your coat billowing like you practiced in front of a fan for hours. And there he is.

Riddle Rosehearts.

Sword drawn. Eyes ablaze. Face scrunched into that exact same scowl he always wears when you do something heinous like wink at him or breathe near museum exhibits.

“You can’t keep running away after committing these crimes!” he says, striding toward you. “I will stop you. I don’t care how clever or deranged you are—this ends now!”

You stare at him for a moment.

Then you beam. “Oh, Riddle. I knew you’d ask me out eventually.”

He halts so fast he nearly trips over a rogue bit of moss.

“What?!”

“I mean, it’s a little sudden,” you say, brushing ash off your sleeve from where something behind you may or may not still be on fire. “But if you wanted dinner, you could’ve just said so without the threats. I get it—you like a little spice in your courtship.”

“I was not—this isn’t—You replaced the city council’s water bottles with electric eels!”

“Which we can talk about over appetizers, obviously,” you say. “I’m in a bit of a rush right now—horribly mysterious deadline, secret villain society, you know the drill—but let’s make it happen tomorrow. Same restaurant I robbed last week. I’ll even pay this time, for the experience.”

“You held the maître d’ hostage with a baguette!”

“And yet the ambiance was divine, wasn’t it?” You’re already walking backward, saluting him with two fingers and an over-the-top wink. “See you at seven, Riddle! Wear something red! It brings out the fury in your eyes!”

You disappear around the corner with a twirl of your cloak.

Behind you, Riddle stands in the wreckage of your crime scene, gripping his sword in white-knuckled hands, yelling to no one:

“THAT WASN’T AN INVITATION! THIS ISN’T—YOU CAN’T JUST SCHEDULE—STOP MISINTERPRETING MY JUSTICE!!”

But you’ve already mentally penciled in the date.

You’re bringing flowers.

Riddle has made many mistakes in his life.

Eating that one suspicious tea cake in the third grade. Agreeing to babysit Ace and Deuce in his spare time. Wearing white in a rainstorm because he “checked the forecast and it said clear skies.” But nothing—nothing—compares to the existential mistake of actually showing up to the dinner you invited him to after literally committing a crime in front of him.

He sits at the candlelit table of the very restaurant you robbed last week—still functioning, somehow—and wonders what exactly is wrong with him.

Maybe the goddess is testing him. Maybe this is a deeply specific curse. Maybe he’s sleep-deprived and hallucinating a date with a criminal.

And then you walk in.

You walk in, with all the confidence of a person who thinks “arrest warrant” is a love language. You're wearing something entirely too dramatic for the venue, looking like you just strolled out of a villain-themed opera. And in your hands—dear, blessed heavens—are flowers.

You walk right up to him and smile like this is the most natural thing in the world. “For you,” you say, handing over the bouquet.

He stares.

Then, slowly, like someone defusing a bomb, he takes the flowers.

“What…” he begins, clearly unsure what part of this situation he wants to question first. “What is this?”

“A date!” you say cheerfully, sitting across from him. “You asked so sweetly last night. Shouting. Sword waving. Very romantic.”

“I was threatening to arrest you.”

“Yes, yes, and now we’re here.” You unfold your napkin. “Funny how life works.”

He sits there, holding the flowers like they might explode, lips slightly parted in sheer bafflement. And yet—yet—he doesn’t leave.

Dinner is, despite his eternal internal screaming, pleasant. The food is good, you don’t commit any crimes at the table (an honest effort on your part), and Riddle slowly transitions from vibrating with rage to… a sort of confused civility. He even joins in when you mock the restaurant’s ridiculous chandelier that looks like someone turned a jellyfish into a war crime.

At the end of the night, you walk out together. You stop just outside the restaurant, turn to him, and lean in without a word to kiss him lightly on the cheek.

He freezes.

“See you next crime night,” you whisper, grinning, before vanishing into the shadows with the speed and flair of someone who definitely practices this.

Riddle remains there, completely still, blushing down to his collarbones and clutching the flowers like they hold answers.

“…Why,” he whispers to the empty street. “Why was that… actually nice?”

The flowers don’t respond.

They do smell great, though.

The next time Riddle corners you, it’s on a rooftop because of course it is. Villainy is fifty percent dramatic elevation, thirty percent elaborate monologuing, ten percent jazz hands, and the rest is tasteful crime, of course. You’re perched on the ledge like a gargoyle with better cheekbones, admiring the mess below.

Tonight’s crime was “turn the city’s water supply into champagne” and honestly? You think the bubbles give the infrastructure a certain je ne sais quoi.

Then, behind you, boots clack ominously.

“Villain!”

You turn and there he is. Riddle. Divine wrath incarnate. Red cloak billowing, sword strapped to his back, expression locked in that righteous fury that just screams “I rehearsed this in the mirror and accidentally made eye contact with myself too long.”

He’s prepared this time. You can see it in his eyes.

He’s convinced he's not going to fall for your charms again.

He takes a step forward, inhales, and begins reciting something clearly not written by him.

“By decree of the Goddess, I will bring your reign to an end. I will dismantle your corruption, tear your empire apart piece by piece until—”

You gasp. Loudly. Dramatically. Theatrically.

“First dinner,” you say, hand to chest, “and now you want to tear me apart? Hero, you’re bold.”

He physically chokes.

“What—NO—THAT ISN’T—”

“I mean, I like to take things slow, personally,” you continue, swanning over like you’re not actively the reason five neighborhoods are flooded with sparkling rosé. “I’m a little old-fashioned. Maybe court me a bit before the dismemberment, hmm?”

He makes a sound like a kettle reaching a full boil.

“I am not trying to court you! I’m trying to arrest you!”

You lean in just slightly, grin widening. “Sure. Arrest my heart, maybe.”

His eye twitches. He opens his mouth. Then closes it. Then opens it again. Then makes a weird little squeak and visibly blue-screens.

And just to finish him off, you pluck a rose—where did it come from??—out of literally nowhere, and step close enough to tuck it behind his ear like you're in a telenovela and this is your third scandal of the episode.

“There,” you murmur. “You get prettier every time we meet.”

You hop onto the edge of the building, cape fluttering. “See you next crime night, sweetheart!”

And you leap.

Not fall.

Leap. Like an Olympic gymnast with zero regard for city ordinances.

Riddle stands there for a solid thirty seconds, completely motionless, as his brain tries to recalibrate from “heroic justice” to “accidentally seduced again by a chaotic menace with an infuriatingly cute smile.”

The rose is still in his hair.

He stares into the night.

Somewhere far away, the Goddess laughs into her wine.

It’s been a long week. You deserve a break.

You’ve committed three heists, sabotaged a bridge (a small one, you’re not a monster), and orchestrated a flash mob in the bank lobby purely for dramatic effect. The mayor’s still recovering. Your minions are thrilled. You’ve earned this.

So tonight, you do what any self-respecting supervillain does on their off-night: wear your pajamas backwards and binge the local news while eating cake with a fork in each hand.

And then—there he is.

Hero of the People. Bringer of Justice. Riddle Freaking Rosehearts.

You squeal, legs kicking in the air like you’re fifteen and he’s the lead singer of a boy band.

The news anchor looks mildly afraid as they gesture at Riddle, who is standing in front of a smoking crater you may or may not have caused because someone at City Hall called you a rascal.

“Hero Rosehearts,” the anchor says, “any words for the villains of the city?”

Riddle takes a breath. Looks directly into the camera like he’s about to propose to a jar of moral purity. He radiates the energy of a substitute teacher on the verge of snapping.

“I will find them,” he says, calm but filled with unholy fury. “And I will bring them to justice. They can’t hide behind glitter bombs and confusing innuendos forever.”

You gasp, hand to chest, cake forgotten.

“He remembers my glitter bombs,” you whisper, soft and touched.

Twenty minutes later, at Hero HQ:

Trey opens the door expecting takeout.

Instead, he’s greeted by a florist holding the largest bouquet of roses, peacock feathers, and hand-folded origami doves anyone’s ever seen. The card dangles off it like it’s trying to escape.

“Uh… Riddle?” he calls, carefully dragging it inside.

Riddle appears in the hallway, looking like he hasn’t slept since your last rooftop encounter. “What now—”

He sees the bouquet.

He sees the card.

He reads the card.

"Can’t wait! You always know how to make a villain feel so special. ~Yours in mild but persistent crime"

There’s a doodle of him in the corner. Blushing. In your handwriting. With little sparkles. And dramatic shading. His cape is glorious.

Cater walks in, sees the scene, and drops his phone from laughing so hard.

“They SENT YOU FAN ART. You’ve got a criminal parasocial relationship.”

“This is not a relationship,” Riddle hisses, clutching the card like it personally offended his lineage. “This is TERRORISM. Emotional terrorism.”

“Aw,” Trey says, examining the bouquet. “They even matched your color palette. That’s considerate.”

“I’m filing a formal divine complaint,” Riddle mutters, turning on his heel. “The goddess lied to me. She said I was chosen for righteousness, not romantic sabotage.”

Cater wheezes. “Bet you five madols they send you a mixtape next.”

Meanwhile, back in your lair, you’re gluing rhinestones to a brick with “To: My favorite nemesis” scrawled on it in glitter glue.

You hum a little tune and smile to yourself.

Love is war.

And you’re winning.

There was a time—not long ago—when Supervillain Group Night™ filled you with a certain kind of existential emptiness.

Everyone else would be lounging around in their aesthetic-themed lairs, attending the secret network meeting (there’s a schedule, a calendar, a monthly tea sampler, and a surprisingly active Discord), trading stories about their latest dramatic rooftop clashes and high-stakes battles with their assigned heroic rivals.

And then there was you.

“Oh, no hero for me yet,” you’d say, sipping your drink with forced casualness. “Still waiting on fate. The divine matchmaker’s probably just backlogged, y’know?”

“Backlogged for three years?” muttered Villain A whose hero punched him into a canal weekly.

But now?

Now the universe has finally answered your prayers.

Riddle Rosehearts: Chosen by the Goddess. The embodiment of law, order, and unyielding justice. Blushes like a strawberry when you wink at him. You love him. (Professionally.)

You beam as you drop into your villain lounge chair, already mid-rant during today’s check-in.

“—and then he said I’d be brought to justice, again, like it wasn’t the most romantic thing ever. And when I said, ‘careful, darling, you’re gonna make a villain swoon,’ he made this noise like a kettle about to explode. Isn’t he the cutest?!”

The others stare.

Villain B sips her wine. “Did you just say darling?”

“Several times. Also ‘beloved symbol of righteousness.’ I was feeling poetic.”

Someone coughs.

And then, as if summoned by the sheer force of your yearning, he appears.

The wall to your hideout blasts open (you just had it repainted), and there he is—Riddle, in full dramatic hero mode, hair windswept, cape fluttering, eyes narrowed like he’s about to smite you for jaywalking.

“You’re under arrest,” he snaps, stepping inside like a one-man apocalypse.

You stand immediately. “My hero!”

Riddle visibly stutters. “Th-that is—you can’t just—” He yanks out the handcuffs like they insulted his ancestors. “You’re under arrest!”

You practically glow. “Oh, you brought cuffs? You always know just what I like.”

There is a horrified choking noise from him. A villain drops her wine in disbelief.

“I came here to detain you, not—!”

“Flatter me in front of my colleagues?” You shoot the others a smug grin. “Isn’t he great? He always shows up right when I’m talking about him. It’s, like, our thing.”

“You’re being arrested,” he says, and it sounds like he’s begging the gods to smite him then and there. He slaps the cuffs on, ears glowing red. “Stop making this sound like a date!”

You gasp as he starts dragging you toward the exit. “You admit it’s not just in my head?”

He trips.

The council of villains erupts into chaos. Someone’s filming.

“You’re so shy,” you coo, utterly delighted. “Save that for the interrogation room, sweetheart.”

He lets out a noise of pure pain and kicks the broken wall on his way out.

By the time you arrive at the holding cell, you're still in full chatter mode.

“—so anyway, I know you usually interrogate me in the serious room with the chair and the threatening spotlight, but I brought snacks this time. I thought we could do something a little more casual? Maybe get to know each other. Or maybe you could, I don’t know…” You lean in. “Search me for more secrets.”

Riddle looks like he’s five seconds away from yelling objection in a court that does not exist.

“I SWEAR, THIS ISN’T—THIS IS NOT—”

You smile as he slams the door of the room shut behind him.

You know what this is?

Bonding.

The interrogation room is silent.

Riddle sits across from you, arms crossed, face neutral, expression studiously blank—the expression of a man who has taken a fifteen-minute breathing break in a broom closet just to convince himself that you are not, in fact, flirting with him on purpose.

That this is a job. That he is a hero. That he is not involved in the slowest and most emotionally confusing courtship ever orchestrated by a criminal lunatic with glitter glue and a god complex.

You are currently lounging in your chair like it’s a chaise at a five-star spa. Legs crossed. Elbows on the armrest. Not a care in the world.

“Do you understand,” he begins, calm and practiced, “that breaking into the mayor’s garden, kidnapping his prize-winning koi, and replacing them with rubber ducks is an act of terrorism?”

You nod solemnly. “Some crimes are worth committing for justice.”

He stares.

You blink innocently.

There’s a pause where he very obviously chooses not to ask what you did with the koi.

Instead, he sits forward slightly. “This isn’t a game, you know. This is an official interrogation.”

“Oh, I know.” You look around, squinting slightly at the cheap fluorescents above you. “But I have to say, this is… the most intimate lighting you’ve ever used. Are you trying to seduce me?”

Riddle blinks.

Hard.

“These are standard government-issued bulbs.”

“Exactly,” you say softly. “You remembered I like minimalism.”

He opens his mouth. Then closes it. Then opens it again like his internal OS just crashed and is trying to reboot from safe mode.

There’s a solid ten seconds of silence where the entire city’s justice system hinges on whether he can form a sentence.

And then—

BOOM.

The side wall explodes. A cloud of smoke and glitter (your signature mix) floods the room as three of your minions rappel in through the hole like synchronized ballerinas with grappling hooks and vibes.

“Boss!” one of them shouts. “We got your emergency sparkle-signal!”

You beam. “Aw, you noticed! I made it red this time.”

“Very flattering!”

Riddle—coughing through the smoke—lunges out of his chair, but one of the minions is already rolling a smoke bomb under the table. Chaos erupts.

In the middle of it all, you stroll up to him, utterly unbothered, and gently kiss him on the cheek.

He freezes.

Like a startled cat.

“I had a lovely time,” you whisper. “You should come by again. Next time I’ll make tea.”

And with that, you're hoisted into the air by glitter-stained ropes, cackling into the night like a Disney villain.

Riddle stays there, motionless, as confetti slowly drifts down around him. One of the doves from your last bouquet flies through the hole and lands on his shoulder like punctuation.

He stands there.

Still.

Blank.

“…I hate my life,” he mutters.

The dove coos sympathetically.

It’s supposed to be your crime night.

Riddle knows your schedule better than he knows his own. Mondays are for mail fraud (the glitter kind, not the dangerous kind—unless you count eye injuries), Wednesdays are for elaborate museum heists that end in interpretive dance, and Fridays, like tonight, are for whatever ungodly act of chaos your whimsy drags into the world.

Once, it was robbing the city’s largest jewelry store and replacing everything with candy rings. Another time it was just—you, standing on a rooftop at midnight, holding up a sign that read “my hero is cute” while fireworks spelled out his name.

And now? Nothing.

No alarms. No sparkle-smoke clouds. No explosive streamers. Not even a vague threatening note written in calligraphy and sealed with your signature wax stamp of a raccoon in a crown.

The silence is... disturbing.

He lasts three hours. Which is already two hours and fifty-nine minutes longer than he’s proud of.

Finally—against every rule, regulation, and speck of dignity he possesses—Riddle storms over to your lair.

He expects traps. He expects overly enthusiastic minions. He expects you, standing at the top of a dramatic staircase with a glass of something suspicious and a cloak that flows unnaturally in the wind.

What he gets is chaos.

Not the usual kind. This is frantic. Your minions are sprinting through the halls, panicked and yelling over each other, their coordinated outfits undone, glitter smeared across their faces like war paint. One of them is crying into a smoke bomb.

Riddle doesn’t yell at them.

He should.

But something in him twists. Something cold.

And then he sees you.

You’re slumped against a sofa—barely upright, pale, one hand clutched to your stomach where blood is steadily soaking through your otherwise very stylish outfit. Your cape is torn. Your usual cocky smirk is weak and trembling at the corners. And when you see him, your eyes light up.

“Hey, hero,” you mumble, giving a little wave before flinching. “I'm a little late for our date, huh?”

He doesn’t answer. Doesn’t think. He crosses the room in three strides, falling to his knees beside you and pulling open his bag with shaking hands.

“You’re bleeding,” he snaps, already pressing gauze to your side. “Why in the world didn’t your minions call for help?! Why aren’t you in a hospital?! Why are you always like this?!”

“You came,” you whisper, a little loopy. “Awww. I must’ve made an impression.”

He presses harder than necessary.

“Who did this?” His voice drops an octave—low and dangerous in a way that makes half the room go silent.

You tilt your head lazily. “New hero. Caught me off guard. It’s rude, right? Jumping into someone else's love story…”

His hands pause.

Then tremble.

“You reckless imbecile!” he shouts. “You’re—! You’re a top-tier villain! A menace! A disaster with a good tailor! How could you let some random newbie hurt you?!”

You blink slowly. “...Awwww. You think I’m a good villain?”

“I think you’re my villain!” he snaps, ears red, not even noticing what he’s said until your smile returns in full, dazed brilliance. “I mean—! To vanquish! To arrest! You are mine to defeat, not to be taken down by some amateur with no style and worse morals!”

“Jealousy looks good on you.”

He presses the last of the bandages down with a huff and shoves his supplies back into his bag with unnecessary force. Then he stands. Straightens his coat. Brushes glitter off his sleeve in a futile display of dignity.

“I’ll… return for your proper arrest when you’re not on death’s doorstep,” he mutters, turning away, “and when your entire organization isn’t crying into each other’s capes.”

One of your minions sniffles louder.

You reach out and grab his hand weakly.

“I’ll be good next time,” you say, tone teasing despite the wince. “But don’t wait too long, or someone else might steal me away again.”

He yanks his hand back like it burned him. “Tch. As if.”

And then he leaves, stomping out of your lair with his face red and his heart doing something very not hero-like.

Later that night, he has to explain to Trey and Cater why he’s muttering “mine to arrest” into his tea while clutching a stress ball.

You’re halfway through dramatically pretending to die of soup poisoning just to get Riddle to feed you by hand—when you notice he hasn’t even touched his own bowl.

He’s just watching you.

Not in the normal “I’m here to arrest you when you’re no longer half-stitched up” way, but in the “if I blink, you might vanish and I will spiral emotionally” way.

His spoon sits untouched, his posture rigid, and his pretty grey eyes flicker with something that looks like... worry. The kind of worry that makes your stomach do strange fluttery things unrelated to the stab wound.

“I’m not going to drop dead in front of you, hero,” you say lightly, swiping the last bit of soup from your bowl. “Unless you like the drama. You do keep showing up when I’m bleeding—are you into that?”

He ignores your comment. Tries to.

“I just need to make sure you’ll be fine,” he says stiffly. “So that I can arrest you properly. That’s the only reason I’m here. This is not... a social visit.”

“Of course not.” You grin, tilting your head. “And the soup?”

“For strength.”

“And the way you’re looking at me like I’ll evaporate?”

“For strategy.”

You reach out and take his hand.

He doesn’t pull away.

Instead, he leans in.

And so do you.

And then you kiss him.

It’s soft at first. Shockingly tender. And then—desperation. Like he’s been holding back this whole time. Like he’s trying to memorize the taste of rebellion and regret. Your hand cups his jaw, and his own fists relax against your lap, and you’re about to pull him in for round two—

And then: knock knock.

Riddle practically falls off your couch.

You, still bleeding slightly but never off-brand, stand and open the door like you’ve just invited the Girl Scouts over.

But no. It’s not Girl Scouts.

It’s the Goddess.

She’s glowing, slightly levitating, and wearing the expression of someone who has just crushed a celestial bet and can’t wait to gloat about it for the next few centuries. You can feel the divine smugness radiating off her in waves. Like sunshine. But condescending.

“Hi sweetie,” she says, casually leaning against your doorframe like she owns the multiverse. Which, in fairness, she kind of does. “Riddle. Looking radiant, darling.”

Riddle straightens like a soldier under inspection. “G-Goddess—I—I can explain—!”

“Oh no no, don’t you dare ruin this for me.” She waves her hand. “You’re adorable. That rooftop scene? The rose in the hair? Chef’s kiss.”

Riddle looks like he’s about to either combust or faint.

You lean against the doorframe next to her. “So... how many gods owe you favors now?”

She grins with teeth. “Twelve. And a demi-god promised to name their firstborn after me. Do you have any idea how long I’ve waited to win a Hero/Villain Rom-Com Wager?”

Riddle opens his mouth, probably to say something about sacred duties and moral responsibilities, but she steamrolls right over it.

“Oh, and by the way, keep doing exactly what you’re doing. Follow your heart, chase your destiny, snuggle your villain, whatever. The others bet you'd smite them in the name of justice. Fools.” She turns to you and wiggles her fingers. “You’re my favorite now. Don't tell the others. Or do. Stir the pot.”

Then, with the daintiest wave imaginable, she disappears in a puff of divine light.

Riddle just... stands there.

Staring.

Processing.

Reevaluating his life’s entire moral framework in real time.

You close the door gently and turn back to him.

“So,” you say cheerfully, plopping back on the couch like this is your usual weekday, “I’m thinking spring wedding. Maybe late summer, depending on your heroic arrest schedule. Also—do you mind if our honeymoon includes some light tax fraud?”

He opens and closes his mouth like a goldfish. “W-what—no—this isn’t—this is not how any of this is supposed to go—!”

“But the soup was good, right?” You lean closer. “And the kiss?”

“I—I—yes!” he snaps, blushing furiously. “But that’s not the point! I was supposed to bring you to justice, not fall victim to your—your criminal charisma!”

You boop his nose.

He freezes.

“I don’t see why you can’t do both,” you say, as if it’s the most obvious solution in the world. “Be my spouse and my nemesis. I believe in multitasking.”

“I’m going to lose my knighthood.”

“You’re going to gain a very fashionable set of matching his-and-theirs balaclavas,” you purr, tucking yourself under his arm. “So when do we start planning the cake? Is koi-flavored too on-the-nose?”

Riddle sinks down beside you with the exhausted sigh of a man who knows he's doomed—and is weirdly fine with it.

“I regret everything,” he mumbles.

You kiss his cheek.

“You regret nothing.”

And he really doesn’t.

This is just your life now.

Sometimes you commit crimes.

Sometimes Riddle comes to stop you.

It’s a rhythm, really. A delightful little dance. He shows up, flinging spells and citing laws with the righteous fury of someone who still hasn’t fully accepted that his archnemesis steals art mostly for aesthetic purposes.

You flirt. He gets flustered. You escape. He grumbles. You leave a note on his office windowsill with a pressed flower and a coupon for couple’s therapy “just in case.

And then you both go home.

Because home is shared now. With one (1) moral hero, one (1) incurable criminal, and an alarming number of cat-shaped throw pillows neither of you remembers buying.

Tonight, you’re in the kitchen, valiantly attempting to bake a cake. The counter looks like a flour-based war crime. The batter has suspiciously purple streaks. Riddle stands in the doorway watching you, eyebrows slowly crawling up his forehead as you hum tunelessly and pour the batter into a pan shaped like a skull.

"Is that... supposed to be edible?"

You turn around with the expression of someone who absolutely believes they’re on The Great Baking Showdown of Doom. “It's lavender and love flavored! For you.”

He blinks. "I’m... honored. Deeply concerned. But honored."

And he is concerned. He’s concerned a lot. He still doesn’t understand half of what happens in his own life now. Like why the city keeps thanking him for “finally putting a leash on that criminal menace,” even though he's very clearly the one being led around by the hand.

Or how his arrest quota has somehow increased since dating you. Or why the Goddess keeps sending him anniversary cards. (“Keep being cute, my power couple! XOXO—The Divine Matchmaker.”)

But then he looks at you.

Standing there in an apron that says “Kiss the Villain,” with flour in your hair and cake batter on your cheek and the biggest, most ridiculous grin on your face. Like you just won a gold medal in chaos.

And he realizes—he doesn’t even care anymore.

He’s in love. Horribly, irrevocably in love.

With you.

And that makes all the sense in the world.

“Fine,” he sighs, walking in to wipe a smudge of frosting off your nose. “But if this cake kills me, I’m haunting you.”

“Promise?” you ask, eyes twinkling.

He kisses your cheek. “Unfortunately.”

And honestly?

It’s perfect.

Masterlist

[gaywineauntsstuff]

Okay I’m gonna drop an unpopular opinion here

I really

Really

Really

Hate the Jason and Damian met in the league and have a close brotherly relationship

I honestly think it detracts from BOTH of their development and makes both the characters a lot more 2D and boring.

And also I think it disrespects my GIRL Stephanie brown. Bc that close personal bickering, anything goes sibling shit? Yeah that’s Damian and Steph all the way.

And yeah I tend to credit Dick Grayson (bc he’s my boy) for a lot of the Growth Damian goes through. But Stephanie brown and him have the funniest sibling relationship in history

And I think to have as interesting of a development as Damian has had you needed characters like Dick and Steph to be his Batman and Batgirl.

Dick who I think we can all agree is objectively the least violent of the bats at a baseline (Richard crash out Grayson moments notwithstanding) as well as Steph. Both have angry moments of doling out justice but BOTH prefer rehabilitation methods and tend to be more mouthy and loud about their thoughts during a battle

Steph CLAWED her way up into her position, she fought for that and held on with an iron grip that left indents. She wasn’t as good as, Dick born acrobat Grayson, Barbara prodigy Gordon and Tim genius Drake. So she worked her ass off and FORCED people to pay attention to her and got good enough that she matches the rest of the bats on the field.

Dick HAS the experience of working with difficult cases. He’s lead teams his age filled with drama, infighting and death successfully, he’s trained kids younger than him successfully on panel.

He’s canonically a very adaptable teacher, who has strength in meeting you where you’re at and getting you to move to where you want to be.

Both these things helped Damian exponentially

Now let me be so clear.

Damian did the work.

Damian put in the blood, sweat and tears into changing his beliefs and perceptions of the world. But that would not have been possible if these two didn’t at least make it known that “hey you can be the kind of person who cares and still have value and not be weak and pathetic”

Damian going vegetarian/vegan bc of his morals, Damian choosing not to kill, Damian choosing to leave Robin, Damian making choices unrelated to mantles, regrets and vengeance. Is due to the fact that he had Dick Grayson and Stephanie brown as examples (now ofc Alfred was also very very very imp but I feel like no one ignores his significance so I don’t feel the need to add him here)

And Jason?

It also imo, FUCK UP JAYS DEVELOPMENT.

Bc if Jason could be this kind, empathic older sibling to Damian? WHAT THE ABSOLUTE FUCK WAS HE DOING WHEN HE FIRST CAME TO GOTHAM? the way he treated the bats and the rogues gallery? Slaughtering all of blackgate to end up in Arkham, making dick watch him fall to his ‘death’.

No absolutely not

This is the ‘pit madness’ nonsense all over again

Jason had to see the world outside of Gotham and work with other people who were anti-heroes who fall into the category.

Bc Jason didn’t start out as an antihero

Jason was a full on villain with a grudge against other villains, he worked for the place he’s in. It’s bc of characters he interacted with, it’s bc of realizations he’s dealt with. It’s because he’s been a little too trigger happy in the wrong place and ended up looking at the grief he caused others and realizing he didn’t want to do that.

It gets rid of Jason realizing HE CAN work with his family.

It gets rid of Jason BECOMING a solid older brother to Tim and erases the Jason who WANTS to have a relationship with his family.

It erases all of the times he’s tried and failed and still got up and tried again

Both of them have grown bc of the people around them and I think if they had each other at that time it would’ve gone 1 of 2 ways

1) a toxic loop re-establishing bad beliefs and practices that damage both of them and leave them more resentful and stuck in their ways

2) they would’ve hated each other and tried to kill each other

In summary

-both these characters didn’t show up nice, they worked for it, don’t erase that

- don’t erase the characters that helped them grow (my girl Steph Brown being left out of conversations she started will kill me)

- Jason can have close relationships with the family im not saying he shouldn’t. I’m just saying that Jay is the cool older brother who very obviously loves you but was at college when you were a kid and now doesn’t really know how to interact with you and it’s awkward but you know you can go to him even if he isn’t your first call in most situations

- Damian was not a good person, he CHOSE to be that’s important to his growth. And with that growth came the ability to form the close connections he now has in canon. Without the growth he undergoes he wouldn’t be able to form the protective loving group of family and friends he has around him

- STOP IGNORING STEPH, I AM LITERALLY A DICK GRAYSON STAN ACCOUNT AND I AM OVERHERE TRYING TO GET CRUMBS OF MY GIRL OHMYGOD

- I would highkey love a short miniseries of Jason and Damian working together and developing a nice relationship both in and out of the masks but until we get that. I’m sticking to awkward brother that loves you but doesn’t get you at all

Also if you disagree/ have more nuanced takes on the Jay Damian sibling arc please leave in the reblogs and comments, I like hearing more nuanced takes and discussing just please don’t be a dick (hehe) about it

[theladyeclectic79]

Solas and his Sunk Cost Fallacy

Solas has spent most of his life jumping from one crazy situation to another, fighting the battles that Mythal sicced him and his intellect on. Once she died however, he no longer had someone leading him: instead, he became a leader, and arguably a great one at that. Yes he made questionable choices and sacrifices along the way, but he still managed to win his battles.

But somewhere along the way, he became locked in on a course of action based almost entirely around his regrets. Regrets that he couldn’t convince Mythal to join his cause against the Evanuris who killed her; regrets that he was forced to imprison not only the Forgotten Ones but the Evanuris he called siblings. Even his last ditch attempt to save the elves brought only their ruin; cast out from the Fade, made mortal with limited life spans, no access to their full magics and made slaves again by new Tevinter oppressors.

Solas’ road is a lonely one, and he can’t find a way out of it because he’s convinced himself it is the ONLY path. Any attempts to sway him lead to fear, which only leads him to do more things he regrets (the murder of Felassan and Flemeth/Mythal, leaving a romance Inquisitor, murdering Varric) and drives him even more down his road. He’s stuck in a sunk cost fallacy: so many precious things have been sacrificed along this road, there’s no way it can be wrong.

He’s so desperate not to be the villain, not to be wrong and everything be HIS fault, that he’s determined to see his Dinan’shiral through to its bitter end. All for the fear that he won’t be able to handle the pain if he ever DOES take ownership of his wrongs.

Even inside the regret prison of his own making, I expect he’ll cling to the hope that he can still fix things, still make them right so that his mistakes and the deaths/murders/betrayals he’s done won’t be for nothing. I honestly don’t know if he could make it out of his own prison without either Rook or Lavellan there to help him face his regrets. He’s so locked in, so focused on that one particular ending, that nothing short of breaking the prison (or him) would free him from his regrets.

Solas’ biggest fear was dying alone. I think he’d continue to cling to his tenuous connection with Rook if forced through with the fight or trick endings, but I like to think if Rook went in with him then they might work through it together (very reluctantly lol given what has to happen for Rook to go thru w him, basically a TPK). He could be happy with Lavellan, freed from Mythal’s hold over him, and she could guide him through the regrets he’s so scared to face.

I love his character. Endless layers to our oniony egghead. ❤️🤩❤️

(Pic of Solas caught by the very lovely ZianaV 🥰)

[beyonddarknessintolight]

My Skeleton Crew finale SPOILER thoughts!

...I am so fascinated by Jod. I was kinda right that he doesn't get a full blown redemption, but I was also proven wrong about my reaction to him from last week: he's not a completely evil bastard.

I will say, that I still think he's not a good person, but I won't call him 'evil.' He doubled down on his choices and his philosophy right up to the end, and he still kept using gaslighting language on the kids: blaming them for things getting this bad, claiming if they just obeyed him then things would be fine, etc. That's all abusive language.

But yes, now that we know his backstory, his actions all make sense as a trauma response. He was deeply messed up by watching that Jedi die in front of him, and it made him cynical.

It's very interesting though, that in his rant he still acknowledged that there is good in the universe, and it makes me think he sees himself as a monster. If he is at least aware of what is good and bad, and he still chooses to be bad... that makes him someone who, by default, probably hates himself and doesn't think he deserves to join the side of good.

It's psychologically so fascinating, and I see parallels with Darth Vader and Kylo Ren too. They too on some level knew that they were doing evil things, but had no hope for themselves. So much to unpack. I love characters like this!

So, while I think he still counts as a 'bad guy' in this, the way it ends does leave open the door for, someday, after a lot of work, he could redeem himself. But right now, he's still too much of a scoundrel. Also important to note how self destructive he is: his choices are very impulsive and poorly thought out, and he honestly could have just stayed with the kids until the very end and been able to get away with a giant reward, and be a lot better off.

But he chose to betray them for no good reason other than his own pride, and not wanting to be indebted to these kids that he finds annoying. He caused his own downfall by giving them a villain to overcome their own differences to defeat.

God this is such good writing!

It is interesting that they don't let us see what happened to him, they left that very open-ended. I know his final expression is being hotly debated, and I personally saw it as him accepting his defeat with dignity, but also.... there might be a tiny bit of him that's proud of the kids for defeating him and proving him wrong, that there are good guys who sometimes win. But it's very up for interpretation.

I also love how Wim's dad got to be a hero too! He's such a giant nerd lol. 'Son, you're looking at a Level 7 Analyst,' or whatever, and he says it like its the most badass thing in the world.

In general, this finale lets the adults learn to trust their children and defy the strict rules of that society, which is a good message.

And I LOVE that bit where Fern tells her mom about how, no matter where they went, even in the really bad places, they still met people that were kind and helped them. It's mirroring what Jod was saying, about pinpricks of light. The difference is that Jod lost faith in those pinpricks, while Fern found it (faith).

Yeah, I would have preferred we got a brief epilogue, to just show how the planet adjusts to now being part of the galaxy again, but it's honestly a minor nitpick. And part of me is ok with it not answering every single question, it allows our imagination to blossom. And also gives the writers wiggle room for Season 2...

Oh! Also: I love that, even after everything, Wim wanted Jod to come with them. He didn't want to abandon him. That feels so much like Luke. And I love that Jod just gives him this small smile, like he's saying, 'nah, kid, you earned this, get going.'

I loved this show so so so so much, it's just classic Star Wars fun, but it still felt fresh and different. Bravo!

[about-faces]

Batman: Caped Crusader, Episodes 1-2 thoughts (SPOILERS)

First things first, Harvey is as bad as I’d expected. I honestly can’t tell whether this is worse than the version we got in the last Timm-produced animated Batman show, “Beware the Batman.” That Harvey was a humorless prick straight out of the William Atherton school of jerkasses, while this one is a smug sleazebag who would be someone you’d love to hate if he weren’t also a complete inversion of a great tragic hero turned villain.

I’m just so sick of people portraying Harvey as a politician first and foremost, performing for the cameras and thinking about his career ambitions. I’m sick of him being a corrupt asshole and even an authoritarian. I’m sick him being two-faced, when the irony of his character is that he himself never WAS. Now that that’s out of my system, I’ll move on, because I know he has an arc in store that may prove more interesting than the usual Asshole Harvey takes.

They tried several things with the Penguin, and I’m not sure they gelled into anything that worked for me this time out. Making her a woman, that’s no problem, and I appreciate her classic style and appearance in a time when everyone just wants to turn Cobblepot into a boring Tony Soprano knockoff.

Ultimately, though, it all just served to make her a standard “Ma Barker” archetype. You know, the alleged matriarchal crime boss who was killed by Hoover’s FBI, who may have dragged her name through the mud to excuse their killing of an old woman? There used to be several takes on her in pop culture, although nowadays the only famous one is probably Ma Beagle from “DuckTales.”

With that in mind, they should have just cast Margo Martindale. Excuse me, didn’t use her full name: Beloved Character Actress Margo Martindale. Minnie Driver is a fantastic actress (I’m still mad that “The Riches” was not only cancelled but totally forgotten), but it was a waste not to let her use her real accent. As it was, she was fine, but she didn’t bring anything special to match the physical design. As an actress, she deserved more to play with.

Also, “Oswalda” is a terrible fake name. Like come on guys, you can do better. That’s on par with Revolver Ocelot’s real Russian name being “Adamska.”

The biggest problem with this take on Penguin is that she’s set up as some kind of brilliant mastermind, only to act incredibly stupid, reckless, and gullible. She kills not one but two innocent goons, including her own son, without so much as an investigation or even keeping tabs on the suspected rats to use them as pawns against Thorne! To paraphrase Dijkstra from the “Witcher” books, you don’t kill spies, you USE them. You feed them misinformation! You blackmail them into being double agents! This Penguin is bad at her job, so no wonder she loses everything within hours. It’s amazing she was able to build a crime empire in the first place!

I also dislike Bullock being a corrupt cop in the mob’s pocket. That fits Flass perfectly, but Bullock? Fuck no. Bullock IS dirty, but he’s dirty in a very acceptable way to cops. He’s brutal, he cuts corners, he’s crass, and he’s probably not above planting or concealing evidence, but selling out to the mob? Hell no. That’s just wrong. Hate that choice. Unless it’s a misdirection. This show sure does love its misdirections from what I’ve seen so far.

Batman himself is… fine. He’s Batman. He’s not a bad Batman. He’s serviceable but unremarkable. But at least he wasn’t an irritating asshole, which is more than I can say for most Batman depictions these days. I liked Bruce trying his “falling off a boat” joke a second time, delivered verbatim after it flopped with Barbara.

Barbara being a defense attorney is a rather contrived choice, one that gets to put her at odds with Harvey while also giving her a professional in with both Batman and Gordon. Essentially, she’s in the role Harvey Dent is supposed to play. Except here she’s a defense attorney, which SHOULD put her at odds with her dad, since lawyers and cops don’t seem to like one another, for SOME reason!

And Harvey, even as District Attorney, can’t be in the role of legal ally to either Gordon, because the story is far more focused on making him a mayoral candidate who throws people under the bus for his own advancement! Feh.

Anyway, that was episode one. It was fine, I guess.

The screenplay is by novelist and DC veteran Greg Rucka, so of course Renee Montoya is the central focus. Seeing her interact with Sleazebag Harvey gave me war flashbacks to what Rucka did with Renee and Harvey in the comics: setting them up with a poignant dynamic of tenuous respect and kindness before dashing it all with “Gotham Central: Half a Life,” which solidified the perception of Harvey as a creepy, obsessive stalker for a generation of fans. That version of them was very much of display here. Sigh.

Also, Lucius Fox is Bruce’s lawyer now? Why? And also, what the hell? God, poor Lucius. He starts off in comics as the guy actually running Wayne Enterprises, then “Batman: The Animated Series” makes him Bruce’s right-hand-man, then Nolan and Goyer get the inspired idea to make him the Q to Bruce’s 007, while the comics don’t know what to do with him and even make him an authoritarian to cause friction with his vigilante son, and now this? It’s such a random choice. There’s no reason why this character should be Lucius. Hell, Lucius could have shown up there WITH the lawyer and that would have been fine. As it is, it’s just weird.

That said! I overall liked this episode an awful lot! For DECADES now, I’ve wanted to see someone remember that Basil Karlo was an older actor in the classic horror movie vein (his name is literally a combination of Basil Rathbone and Boris Karloff), but ever since “Batman: The Animated Series,” everyone has just tried to make him BTAS’ Matt Hagen. Like, I really liked the “One Bad Day” issue for Clayface, where he gradually killed his way to the top of Hollywood stardom, but even that was still BTAS Hagen, the Serious Actor, not Karlo, the old horror ham actor.

But with this episode, someone finally drew on the old Hollywood horror roots of the character, and they found a way to combine his shape shifting abilities into the mix! I’m so happy!

Of course, this is me, so I still have criticisms. Like, I think it was unnecessary to frame it as a mystery, because that added unnecessary complications. I know the original Clayface story was a whodunnit and you can’t do that now that everyone knows that Karlo is Clayface. I was annoyed by the misdirection of Karlo’s “death,” in part because I feared this would be another Clever Subversion, just like how the animated adaptations of “Gotham By Gaslight,” “Hush,” and “The Long Halloween” purposely went against expectations from the source material in stupid ways. Hell, they’re doing the same thing now with Penguin (“But wait, there’s a twist: she’s a woman!”) and Harvey (“But wait, there’s a twist: he’s an asshole!”), so I was afraid this Clayface would end up being someone else entirely. I was okay with it in the end, but I’m annoyed at the cheap fakeout as a plot point.

Furthermore, I don’t get why Basil disguised himself as the doctor (whose name I don’t remember) for the benefit of the actress (whose name I don’t remember) he had chained up in his hideout. What benefit was there in making her think he was the doctor? She was already aware she was a prisoner and was scared, so why the facade? It served no purpose in context, only just to misdirect the viewers.

This is what happens when you try to make something a mystery when it would work better as a thriller. Stop trying to wow audiences with twists and surprises when you could just be focusing on telling a good story. So what if everyone figures out Karlo is Clayface? Who cares! Just go with it! Let them be in on it while Batman and Montoya figure it out themselves, that’s where the tension lies! Stop trying to be clever.

Regardless, I really liked this episode. I want this to now be the canon comics origin for Basil Karlo’s Clayface. Just explain that the treatments for his face gradually affected his whole body, and boom, you’ve successfully explained how classic Slasher Clayface became Mud Monster Clayface. This is how Karlo should always be written from now on. If you really want a sensitive, angsty lug Clayface, bring back Hagen. Let Karlo be the gloriously hammy monster with aspirations of stardom.

[1960z]

holy shit, dude. what a case. what a game!! I loved it all so much!

it felt like such a unique final trial. playing through a trial where the judge himself is not only corrupt but the true mastermind behind everything was new and honestly kinda nerve-wracking I’m not gonna lie I didn’t know how it was gonna play out.

at first I kinda questioned the decision not to have a jury for the last (technically two) cases of the game since that is supposed to be the “new” mechanic tgaa is supposed to be sporting but honestly it felt like they were there in spirit, their narrative importance were emphasised literally through what happened. the judge was corrupt, so the gallery, the “public” if you will (ignoring the gallery was full of judiciary members in this case) were the ones guiding the trial and demanding the truth and in theory that is what a jury is supposed to be for: so people’s fates aren’t in the hands of one person who’s basically just a politician. (this is re-enforced through what happened to jigoku too)

I’ll be honest, strongheart wasn’t exactly the most subtle choice for a villain, I think within his first couple scenes during the first game I had the initial thought “he’ll be the final villain won’t he?” and yeah I was right. if you’ve played an ace attorney game before he’s already the obvious choice and even if you haven’t he still has a bunch of signifiers that scream villain regardless (imposing, ambitious, calculating, aristocratic etc) all the while the narrative was being a little too nice to him pre reveal.

that’s not to say he’s a bad villain though! he’s a great villain!! he commands such an intimating presence and is genuinely despicable and wicked and the narrative just leans into it and ugh!! it’s great. he’s also insane too lmao. he is what would happen if you tried to do what light yagami did but without a death note. that level of crazy. love it.

I did think the 11th hour sholmes and iris save the day thing was a little hokey I must admit. it was kind of one of those moments where my suspension of disbelief was stretched even by ace attorney standards, and beyond that I just didn’t really like the whole “well the queen decreed that this guy sucks actually” in the face of the “rich and powerful people are super corrupt and don’t have the common man’s best interests” theme. I still do think you can have that moment where sholmes and iris step in but I feel you couldn’t come up with better ways to do it than that y’know. ultimately though I think it was just a minor moment, they wanted to end the case with a bang and that served its purpose. all the moments with more actual weight and meat behind them were done brilliantly.

it was just so great to see everything that was built up finally coalesce and make sense. these games are structured very differently to their predecessors, they’re much less episodic and focused on individual cases and more focused on the larger overarching story, and if I’m being honest I think it would’ve been very easy for that to go wrong but they pulled it off and they pulled it off brilliantly. it really did feel like I was pulled into a whirlwind of mystery and conspiracy and I loved it. like I said before, it feels like a testament to how takumi’s writing style has evolved and more reminiscent of the kind of storytelling we saw in ghost trick and I think that’s so cool!! though I do hope he might have at least one AA game left in him, even if he doesn’t, I’m really excited to see what he does next!

but regardless, I am in fact manifesting the great ace attorney investigations: herlock sholmes. preferably a prequel with him and yujin. this is something that will happen and I’ll hear no word against it happening. I need it idc.

tier list update!

[k00ldino]

so, for one of my finals we were tasked with coming up with a mock apology video script. naturally, i knew exactly who to write about and thought you all would appreciate it.

please enjoy my fake vector apology video script!

            The video opens with Vector setting up his camera and then taking a few steps backwards into position, this is to prove how genuine his emotions are, the rawness of his words. He is very clearly on the Moon with Earth visible behind him. Don’t ask how he was able to post this when there is, famously, no Wi-Fi on the Moon; something about science and his mad genius or whatever.

            The man is currently being criticized online for stealing the Moon, and seemingly everyone in the world is upset. News articles and commentary breakdowns of the situation are being published left and right. So, naturally, Vector needs to clear his name of these accusations! What is possibly worse than being viciously mocked and flamed on the internet for something you didn’t even do?

Vector: Hey… it’s me, the world’s number one most evil supervillain with both direction and magnitude. I don’t normally make videos like this, but I think there are some things that need to be addressed.

First of all, I wanted to confirm that I was, in fact, the one behind this epic moon scheme. I take full responsibility for any repercussions this may have caused. I personally apologize for stealing the moon, I see now that a line was crossed and I promise it will never happen again. I’m turning over a new leaf and I humbly accept any and all punishment that awaits me back on Earth.

Ignoring the blatant lie, the poor guy actually seems upset, but the video is nowhere near over yet.

But I mean, if you think about it, being banished to the moon is a pretty good sentence already. I’ve had a lot of time to think about what I’ve done up here, and I am seriously sorry, guys. There is really no excuse for my actions even if they did make sense within the context.

I’m asking you to have some compassion for my situation. If you were in my shoes, stuck in space like this with limited oxygen and no way home, wouldn’t you be rethinking your life choices too? Being faced with your own mortality really makes a man want to change.

He nods sagely and adjusts his glasses.

I’ve learned my lesson and I’m ready to come home now.

A pause…

But honestly, if anybody deserves to be punished, it’s that no-good copycat Gru! He totally stole my idea! That sorry excuse for a villain was just jealous at how much publicity my pyramid heist was getting and tried to sabotage me! Him and those stupid girls…

Up until now, Vector was getting off completely Scott-free for the pyramid thing. He just admitted to something he was never even accused of doing.

Let me be clear, the moon thing was my idea, 100% concocted by yours truly, and when Gru found out he sicced his children after me! Shouldn’t there be some sort of consequence for such a sorry attempt at plagiarism and child labor? I certainly should think so. My plan would have gone without a hitch if only Gru didn’t get involved. Your precious Moon would be safe and sound within my fortress, but nooooo, they just had to go and mess it all up! Typical.

His hand movements become more erratic, trying to emphasize just how wrong this whole situation is.

Gru sent his kids to my home dressed as Girl Scouts in order to spy on me! I’m not at fault here.

He points an accusatory finger at the camera.

Tell me you would pass up the offer of novelty cookies delivered directly to your doorstep. You can’t. You can’t expect me to ignore my natural human desire for overpriced, mass-produced cookies. I’m only a man, after all.

Now, he feigns distress.

I feel so… violated! How could someone be so cruel as to use an innocent baked good for their own twisted agenda. Between this, plagiarism, and theft, he and his menagerie of infantile crooks really had it coming. All this being said, it would only make sense for the next step to be enacting my revenge.

Kidnapping is a strong word, I would much prefer to call it “karma”.

Nobody said anything about kidnapping…

An eye for an eye, the moon for Gru’s offspring. If justice refuses to be served by our current political system, then matters are to be taken into my own hands. And, like, even if these kids were totally innocent, which they aren’t, wouldn’t you agree that this teaches them a valuable lesson in minding your own stinkin’ business? An important thing to be taught, indeed.

There is a cut in the video and Vector’s expression has shifted from that of frustration to overtly enthusiastic.

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Now, back to the video!

We return to our regularly scheduled programming. Vector’s face has gone all red and he looks on the verge of tears. It almost makes you feel sorry for him…

Almost.

Why don’t you go steal dentures in the nursing home, old man!?

I demand that Gru face some sort of repercussion for everything he’s done. It’s not fair!

I already said I was sorry! Remember that? How I said I wouldn’t do it again? I’m sorry for stealing the Moon, I’m sorry for stealing a pyramid, even though it really was just sitting there and it’s not like anybody was using it. I’m even sorry for letting my shark attack people in the sewers.

He’s getting desperate.

What do you want from me? I’ll pay you! I will give $1,000 to whoever gets me off this stupid rock. In cash.

That’s all it is! A rock! Do you realize how utterly insane you all sound, pressed because someone took your favorite rock. If the moon never reverted back to its original size, I can assure you that everyone would get over it in, like, a month tops. Dramatic much?

After actually being on the moon, I can proudly say it’s a 4 out of 10 at best. I’ve been to more appealing places on Earth. Have any of you been to Egypt lately? Beautiful weather, wonderfully preserved culture, and the pyramids are just- oh. Right. Ahem.

In any case, the moon’s not all it’s cracked up to be. It’s kind of lame up here. I miss my Wii and there are weird aliens floating around. You guys should really get that checked out.

He looks off-screen, seems to notice something, and readjusts.

So, yeah. All that stuff, I’m very sorry about it. Thank you for forgiving me, I’m just glad we could come to an agreement. It’s really not that big of a deal.

Please send someone to rescue me, okay? Soon. Very soon. I don’t know how much longer I can stand to be without a phone charger.

Vector out.

The video ends and is miraculously uploaded to YouTube titled simply “i’m sorry.” As expected, it doesn’t tide over very well and a team of astronauts are eventually sent to retrieve him. Vector is brought back to Earth in handcuffs. The end.

[pastellia63]

2. What's your favorite and least favorite design in either show?

3. What character do you think has the most wasted potential? Why?

7. What's a ship you enjoy?

Okay so starting of:

2. My favorite design would actually have to be Loopty Goopty's

I know that seems random, but i honestly really love the way he looks! He doesn't look plain-ish, but also not too clutered to the point he becomes a nightmare to animate like certain other characters (cough cough, Fizz and Beezlebub cough cough). Also always a sucker for classic cartoon villain inspired characters, and you can immediately tell that from his design unlike with other characters.

Now, onto the one i dislike the most... Well this one is actually hard, but i think i'll have to go with Asmodeus.

Nothing really against him altought i do feel like his character could have been way more interesting but then again this Helluva male centric show Boss were talking about. Onto his actual design, he honestly is between having nothing and too much going on. Like i honestly feel like the way he looks is not fit when it comes to having him be the embodiment of lust, and his full demon form Is honestly pretty lacking too which is pretty disapointing as if HAVE seen that this show can in fact have good full demonic form designs. Case in point:

3. Ohhh boy, now that's a tough question. But i think i'm gonna have to go with Lucifer Morningstar himself. He could have been a genuinely interesting flawed character with him being the ruler of hell and the father of the main protagonist herself and all buuut instead we got Stolas 2.0. because it just won't be a Vivzie show if we don't villanize his wife instead. I mean, do i need to remind you that this is the same guy who manipulated Eve into eating the forbidden fruit of Eden just because he wanted to screw God over and making it so that all humans would suffer over it (and then proceeds to throw a fit about how they had a choice to do better despite him starting all of this)? The same one who couldn't haven't even been bothered to watch ONE broadcast for his daughter since she was on it and therefore didn't even protect or comfort her when it horribly went wrong but It's okay because he's really trying you guys 😞😔 please.

7. Alright, back to being positive! I LOVE Chaggie! They're the cutest and It's such a shame the show barely pays any mind to them despite being the main couple! Others i like are:BlitzFizz, CherriSnake (please don't come at me, i too don't really like how it was handled in the show but it's cute in concept), GoldenGoose (Mammon x Stella), Barbie Wire x Verosika Mayday, Wally Wackford x Verosika, and Carmila Carmine x Zestial!

Thanks alot for the ask, this was very fun to do!

[soullessjack]

Full disclosure I am not the previous anon but building off of their message: I'm saying this with all due respect. Not accusing you of abuse apologia for your opinions on a fictional character, but I honestly feel like you have a strange bar for what constitutes an abuser. I strongly disagree that abusers don't regret their actions. An abuser can 100% show regret or remorse for what they did, they can show genuine love and affection to the people they victimize and still be an abuser. Dean is obviously not a black and white villainous caricature, but very rarely in real cases are abusers black and white villainous caricatures. We tend to single out Dean when dissecting the family dynamics because his abuse was the most extreme but all of them, Sam, Dean, and Castiel, are a murder cult who groom Jack into their line of business. So I don't really see the point in the semantics game.

1. that’s a fair point! I just think there’s some distinction between being abusive and being a straight-up abuser, if not distinctive connotations for those terms. I’m also not trying to be apologetic about Dean’s behavior more so than I’m just trying to explain it and make it more understandable than a surface level viewing of him.

2. agree again! nobody is completely black and white and that’s always been a consistent theme (alongside free will and family) within the show, as well as the choice to be a better person, so it’s very confusing to me when fandom discourse is all semantical about who’s worse or who’s better. your favs are wanted by the FBI and violated the Geneva Conventions numerous times, but they still try to do the right thing where it counts.

3. actually I think dumbing down TFW’s dynamic with jack as a “murder cult who groomed him into their line of business” is playing right into the semantics game and the villainous caricature.

for one, hunting just is not a cult. please can we not turn cult into the next internet buzzword. it’s a lifestyle that almost nobody involved actively enjoys living (Gordon and the other dude from Black Rock are outliers) because it’s nothing but trauma and loss and violence constantly, but for one reason or another it’s incredibly difficult to leave, or even compromise with a somewhat normal life. even Dean views it as a death sentence, and the violence he regularly commits within it only ever added to his low self worth as he considers himself a designated “grunt.” even in the later seasons when it’s framed more casually or comedically, the violence and murder of hunting is still ultimately a bleak and begrudging necessity; grunt work for the grunts. to say it’s a “murder cult” is just wrong and, well, a little cartoonish if I’m being fr.

second, jack wasn’t ‘groomed’ into being a hunter/murderer. I swear takes like these make me question what show everyone else is watching ,I’m sorry. he’s literally a born-adult supernatural creature with a heritage and birth circumstance that’s been intertwined with the lives of all three of his chosen fathers since before they all existed and cosmically dangerous powers. there is no way he could ever be normal or have a life outside of hunting (or one that lasts, at least). and considering what we know from his first death now, he probably would’ve just died as a normal baby if Cas had removed his grace. Yes, TFW has some major dysfunctions in their parenting with Jack and it’s absolutely worth talking about, but they still make an effort to be good father figures for him, even with fathers that frankly set them up for failure in that regard. to say they’re all groomers is, to put it mildly, insane and ridiculous

[what-fandom-again]

What your favorite helluvaverse character says about you (+Revised hazbin versions)

Some of these are going to be the same but here we go-

Charlie- Your favorite childhood show was "My little pony: friendship is magic". She may be a basic choice but nothing wrong with that.

Alastor- Lots of things to say about the Alastor lovers. Some of you find him hot, some are simply asexuals who love the representation, Some love his Wolf in sheep's clothing attitude, Some just find him amusing to watch. Just take the words of last time

Angel- Same as before. You're either horny or you find him as a comfort character because you yourself have been in toxic/abusive relationships and relate to his trauma. Or both. If it's the second one then you definitely find comfort in knowing that Hazbin takes this trauma seriously because there aren't many shows that do.

Sir Precious: You are the very opposite of nerotypical. In your friend group there's the pretty one, the funny one, the smart one, etc and then there's you. You don't really serve a part in the group but they love you anyways. You show them something you're proud of is the equivalent of a child doing the same thing and their parents smile and put it on the fridge.

Velvette: Your favorite character trope is Gatekeep Gaslight Girlboss and full offense when I say you'd let her degrade you to shreds

Cherri: Hello bottoms we meet again.

Val- Same as before where theres three types of people. 1 Finds him as an intresting character and a well written villain. 2 Finds him to be somewhat entertaining but hates what he does to Angel. 3 Simps for him and doesn't care what he does to Angel. Not much to say about the first two but if you're the third one WHAT THE HELL? I get liking villains and not caring for characters BUT SWEETHEART HES A FUCKING RAPIST!

Vox- remember the whole "Hey hey hey just another fuckin' day with Val ha ha ha Fuck my life" scene? Yeah, that's you on a daily basis. You relate to him on a spiritual level.

Nifty- very much OCD, a little bit of a psychopath. Like before everyone is concerned and afraid of you and you either don't know or you DO know just don't care

Rosie- Every family has one aunt exactly like her. That aunt was your favorite family member and probably your second mother.

Adam- Full offense again but you have no standards. He was the original fuckboy.

Lute: Once again, Hello bottoms and lesbians.

Carmilla: You were most likely one of the original "Vaggie is an angel" theorists and probably one of the older Vivziepop fans. You also pay very close attention to detail like very close. And even though you may not always show it you're deeply empathetic

Emily: Honestly it's the same with Charlie. The only reason you probably like her more than Charlie is because you prefer her design but they're basically the same character

Sera: You definitely have a complicated relationship with your Mother or Older sister or any other female guardian you may have but you still love them

Eggbois: You are very nerodivergent and chances are you have no idea what to do on your own.

Husk: There's something about grumpy old men with secret soft spots that make you go soft and honestly with a voice like Keith David who can blame you?

Vaggie: Take this as you will but the people who like Vaggie are the same people who like Leah or Robin from STDV your favorite character is someone who's able to kick ass or is handy with their hands or both

Lucifer or Stolas: Daddy issues. Heavy daddy issues.

Blitzø: You're either a die hard Brandon Roger's fan or heavily traumatized there's no in-between

Loona: Furry. Horny Furry.

Any of the Succubi- Also horny but in a softer(?) way. I haven't seen a lot of Loona art that isn't some form of fanservice but I've seen plenty where the litteral sex demons get the sweet treatment. Also props to you for getting obsessed with a random fucking bouncer, you e surprised me people

Crimson: I feel like the context for him would be closer to "Favorite villain" rather than favorite character but you say it's him because you don't really know who else you would call your favorite. It's not that you don't like them, it's that they don't exactly intrest you

Beezlebub: You love her party girl personality and you don't even care about her design because you think she's beautiful. Though if you have alternative designs for her, then chances are its pretty good because I've seen a lot of Bee redesigns.

Miller or Moxxie: You are a desperate bisexual who needs a partner like them. You especially want to be topped by Millie..

Mammon: This just Adam but worse. Why?

Ozzie: He is litterally a 9' foot tall buff sin of lust, it speaks for itself.

Fizzarolli: Hello nerodivergents, specifically the ones who'd "misbehave" as a child even though they were only playing around and didn't get diagnosed until later in your life

Robo Fizz: Ya'll are just the Fizz fans but you were intentionally being a menace

Chaz: You desperately hope he comes back (unlkely)

Striker: You definitely have some form of a cowboy kink. Or maybe you just really loved Rattlesnake Jake cause same

Stella: Look, the thing with her and Valentino is that you're still allowed to like them. They have interesting designs and can be quite fun when they aren't being assholes. As long as you realize that their actions are not okay and don't try to excuse abuse on anything, your still relatively valid for liking them. That being said, you're a dramatic bitch who probably gossips with your friends. You're basically Regina George

Andrelphus: Dramatic bitch x 100 I have litterally never seen a character more sassy gay coded and Angel Dust exists

Octavia: This is how you say you're a child of divorce without actually saying you're a child of divorce.

[theconstitutionisgayculture]

You know what I like in superhero stories? When they answer the question of, "Why don't the villains just use their talents for money?" with "Because they're too dysfunctional, too selfish, or too crazy to use their talents honestly."

Because isn't that how it is some of the time? Where you have brilliant people who can easily make a ton of money, but they want it all NOW so they use crime to get it, or they blow it all on hedonism and need more, or something else that ends with them being criminals? Doesn't it also make them such good foils to heroes who often also had a bad hand but chose to do the right thing and put others first, even when it brought great sacrfice?

One side actively chooses to do good, regardless of whether it rewards them. The other side actively chooses to do evil, No matter how much it punishes them.

YES.

Good and evil are choices and the best characters reflect that. To continue beating the Batman horse to death, Bruce Wayne with all his resources and iron will dedication to his cause, could have easily decided to lash out at the world for what happened to his parents. In fact, considering his resources and an upbringing that was more isolated from society than is the norm for most people, I would say most people in his position, in the most corrupt city in the world, would have turned to vengeance and hate. But instead, he made a choice to do the opposite. His vow wasn't to make the people responsible for his parent's deaths suffer. His vow was that no other child would ever have to suffer what he did. His mission is pure. It is noble. And it can never be fulfilled. That's what makes him compelling. That's what makes him a hero.

And that's why all the "Esleworlds" and "What Ifs" where Batman is a murderer and a violent psychopath feel like a water damaged old daguerreotype compared to the vibrant 8k photograph that is the real Batman. Because choosing hate and evil is boring. It's the easy thing to do. It's common and it's commonplace. Reading about people like that does nothing to inspire. It does nothing to make a bad day a little brighter. There's nothing to admire. Nothing to strive towards. True heroism, the choice to do the right thing when the wrong thing would be easier and more satisfying, is noble.

And nobility is something that comics have been seriously lacking, lately.

Now let's contrast that with another dead horse, the Joker, in the deadest of all the Joker's own horses, the Killing Joke.

In that story, at the very end, Joker is offered a choice. Even after everything he's done, to some of the people Batman cares for the most, Batman still offers to help him. He offers rehabilitation. To work with the Joker to get him the help he needs so that one day he can heal and be something other than the monster he is. He tells the Joker he will stay with him so he doesn't have to be alone anymore. And the absolute brilliance of that story, the thing that turns Bruce from a hopelessly naïve idealist into Batman, is that the Joker actually considers it. And the offer that Bruce makes, the way he phrases it, "we can work together" "you wouldn't have to be alone anymore", is him giving the Joker exactly what he's always wanted--Batman's full attention. All he has to do is make the hard choice. To work on himself. To change. To heal and be a better person. And in the end he chooses not to try. And he doesn't just reject it because he's evil, or because he can't understand that what he's doing is wrong. He rejects Batman's offer because he thinks it's far too late for that option. He's done too much, become too much, to ever go back. He chooses to spurn the thing he's always wanted most and to stay on his current path because he thinks trying to go back would be impossible. Which once again brings us back to Batman. Because if you'll remember, the path Batman chooses is also impossible. He can never redeem Gotham. He can never prevent every child from losing their family to violence. He knows this, and yet he still chooses to try.

Once again, that's the difference between a hero and a villain. A hero chooses the right thing. A villain chooses the easy thing. A hero is noble. A villain is common.

Modern comics are common.

[jerseymuppet]

i might be stupid but. is the gothamverse a muppets batman au? is that what the thing in ur bio means? (either way plz do tell me abt it)

That would definitely be infinitely cooler than my idea! Gothamverse is the beautiful result of me playing arkham knight while waiting for an mcr livestream to start up and thinking ‘damn bitches from jersey are fucking insane! ....wait a minute’

It’s basically a silly little idea I came up last March with where all the mcr guys are from Gotham and what their villain origin stories would be etc. I followed the main Batman villain archetypes: extremist, anti-hero, camp, and serial killer, and I had a fucking blast! It’s very silly and just something I did for fun. I guess I can go a lil bit into it here.

full disclosure, I am psychotic and disabled and I do not believe in the vilification of mental illness or disability in media, all of these characters will eventually get the help they need. Batman at its core is about a mentally ill man helping others who have been failed by society and I will never forgive dc for making him into an overpowered, glorified cop.

Frank’s character (Francis ‘Frankie’ Stein) is the extremist (duh). He’s the son of a mafia boss who is steadily ruining their town with crime and Frankie just kinda snaps and kills him to take his place as the head of the family and try to undo some of the damage done. He has great intentions, he’s just very unyielding and kind of insane 💕 his moniker is Frankenstein! And his whole schtick is that he’s very hard (if not impossible) to kill. He’s also chronically ill and Jewish, these are not important to his character but they are important to me !

Mikey’s character (Micheal Way) is the serial killer. He’s a ‘sociopath’ (theres nothing actually wrong with him, people just suck and made him feel lesser and out of place :/) trying to fit in with everyday society but he always feels like something is missing and becomes a neuroscientist to try to find what exactly it is. He invents a machine (the empathsizer) that allows him to experience other people’s memories and emotions as though they are his own. From there he accidentally gets addicted to the chemical responses his brain has to doing that. And keeps doing it. Even after the testing phase is no longer accepting applicants. It gets worse after he experiences someone’s near death experience and starts chasing the high it gave him. Idk what his moniker is? It’s sandman for right now but that’s honestly so boring and uninspired.

Ray’s character (Raymond Ortiz) is camp but very loosely. He’s an engineer by day and a rockstar by night! He’s really only an engineer to save up enough money to pursue music full time but it’s hard because he doesn’t get paid that much. Winter hits and with it, cuts to his hours! So he’s forced to choose between rent and electricity. When he gets really sick as a result, he can’t afford a doctor. And when he wakes up with his hearing gone as a result, theres nothing he can really do but spiral into a depression. Until he realizes he’s a literal biological engineer. If he can’t fix his problem he can at the very least prevent it from happening to someone else! Research does cost money, so it’s very fortunate that Gotham has so many banks. His moniker is Dr. Megahurtz! His weapon of choice is his guitar, which has been retrofitted with sonic emitters to amplify and weaponize the hertz. Not enough to hurt, but enough to incapacitate.

Gerard’s character (Jules Moss) is the anti hero! She’s (yes I made Gerard’s character a trans girl, they took too long to make a trans character so I did it for them) has the same backstory as Gerard actually! On her way home from work she witnesses a terrorist attack, but instead of starting a band she decides to fight crime instead. She does so bad. Literally her first night out patrolling she gets killed by some priest who’s been driven insane by what he claims is an angel that’s ‘chosen him to impart gods will’ but it’s just a fallen star looking for a vessel to possess and the first guy it came across wasn’t dead lol. The star turns into a sword of pure light and that’s what Jules gets stabbed with, but also it fuses itself to her dna so she wakes up a few days later, schrödingers girl, with some scary new abilities and a voice in her head that definitely wasn’t there before. Her whole arc is her trying to find the guy that killed her and get revenge. Her moniker is stigmata! Because when she gets impaled it also goes through the palms of her hands and the wounds don’t heal.

but yeah that’s the bare bones of it all! I’m planning on making this into a comic series but the script is still being written at the moment! Thank you for letting me ramble about it 💕🥰

[seeminglyseph]

Okay, because I suck at video games and didn’t have much for systems when I grew up I didn’t really play Metal Gear or know a lot about Hideo Kojima or his writing style, and I will admit. Could stand to interact with and learn to write more women, but he is steadily improving at that I think, and it’s not like it’s a Kojima exclusive problem when it comes to Video Games and Writing Women Characters. He actually writes women with stories, it’s just that his stories are fucking batshit so every now and then you sit there and go “yo wait hold on what the fuck???”

But from what I’m getting, listening to various explanations of the lore and stuff of his games (especially, currently, Death Stranding because I’ll be honest that game’s opening was dope as hell but I did struggle to stay engaged because my ADHD and inability to actually play games meant I was watching other people and that removed a lot of the engagement. I just cannot focus on something long enough to make the experience worthwhile.) is that a lot of his stuff feels like when you’re playing pretend with your friends as a kid, but then also applying the ability to create storytelling and literary devices like an adult who went to University.

Which is very very fun. Maybe literary is the wrong word, it’s more cinematic, but the lore choices and stuff is like. “Is that a biblical reference?” Along with some guy named “Die Hard Man” because he kept surviving things during the war, which tbh if I know nicknames correctly that guy would have gotten a nickname like “Roach” for that. You don’t get cool nicknames from your friends in the military, you get dumb nicknames. Even if Die Hard Man sounds dumb, I think it’s supposed to be cool. I think most military nicknames are insults. Honestly in general most nicknames are insults.

But Kojima works under the same mindset as I did when I in elementary school and played games with the other neighbourhood kids and said I was “Wolf because I was raised by wolves” because that was the level of creativity we were working with because I was fucking 7 and we were basically just riding our bikes in the cul-de-sac or however that’s supposed to be spelled and not actually knowing how anything worked. Because being a child in the 90s that’s kind of a normal activity?

I feel like that’s what Metal Gear Solid feels like, and Snake is just the vibe of “a cool animal name that can be a military hero.” Hell isn’t there a character in the first Metal Gear Solid that was actually raised by wolves? Like just, exploring concepts we all definitely thought were cool at one point or another and then finding ways to either play them straight or pull a full plot out of it, while also just going kinda batshit. I can appreciate that.

I think he needs to maybe meet some ladies that he finds as inspiring as the dudes he definitely maybe has huge fucking muse crushes on because I feel like that might be part of the problem, Norman Reedus and Mads Mikkelsen and Guillermo de Toro have obviously like really inspired him as people, but like. Maybe the memes haven’t been as obvious about the women in his life, but that might also be why the female characters in his games sometimes fall flat? Though I have heard fantastic things about The Boss, and Bridget in Death Stranding is. Definitely notable and interesting and I think she’s supposed to be a complex villain? I think that’s a normal set of feelings to have for her?

Like he’s a Japanese director, wordplay is huge in Japan, and most Japanese names have meaning, especially in media. Those names are picked for a reason. Yeah Kojima definitely picks hammy names but they stand out in part because they’re in English. But he made military and post apocalyptic games with surreal and slightly silly tones despite serious topics, and naming conventions like this aren’t uncommon in Japanese media. They’re just extra hammy in English. And double extra hammy because Kojima is eccentric. But I feel like that eccentricity is necessary to keep games from becoming… the most boring grimy shit you will ever experience. I need inspiration and fun, and Kojima seems to inspire the whole industry to have more fun, and also wants everyone else to play. Which is why he has so many collaborators?

And he designs games to have teams working on them and with the idea in mind that the people working for him should always have work in the future, that was part of the Fox Engine and PT gambits? To keep his team employed in the future, not just himself?

This has been a very long rambling nothing, but while he costs a lot of money to create things, I think he also is like… actually interested in just… “let’s see what this baby can do, shall we?”

And I think we really fuckin need that in video games. Like damn. Yeah. Go ham dude. Figure it out, fuck Konami. Let’s play some games and get wild or something. Be weird.

[batboopp]

honestly, I’d say Duke probably has one of the biggest reasons to not like Jason or at the very least insult him.

it’s no secret that one of the first things Jason did after becoming Red Hood was to start killing goons/drug dealers/mob bosses and gang leader, no matter their age or why they even chose (if they had the choice) to do that all. And this fucked up most of Gotham/Its general wellbeing/a lot of its people, to say the least. Duke might not have been actively affected, but since he lived most of his life as an average civilian in the Narrows, it’s safe to say he probably got a good glimpse of just how collateral the damage Red Hood did to Gotham and its inhabitants was (considering how most say that taking 2 wrong turns in Gotham would get you face to face with any number of dangers) and how Jason’s decisions still affect Gotham.

moving from Robin and going into his Signal identity, Duke saw even more in depth of what Jason did. and i’d bet that-like a lot of other characters-he is pissed that Jason can still get away with minimal (if any) consequences, especially from people like Batman! Gotham’s Dark Knight of all people!! who wouldn’t be angry, or at the very least annoyed? Especially when all you want to do is shine light onto the cracks of Gotham.

i mean, check out Duke’s word choices here. he could’ve just said ‘vigilante’ to describe Jason (as many are accustomed to doing), but he full out called Jason a villian because that’s exactly what he is. Jason made the conscious choice to hurt people, whether innocent or not, for his own selfish reasons.

which also brings me to Duke’s very fair accusation: He is saying Jason did not have to hurt/kill so many innocents for no reason (“…You got dead and came back as a vigilante villain! And you’re telling me to ‘brighten his dark side?’”).

i like how writers also chose to add Duke saying that no, actually, Jason out of all people has no right to tell Duke to fit anyone’s specific definition of ‘good’, or to even be anything at all, which he has shown constant dislike for.

this means so so much to me considering how hard Duke works to prove that he can work alongside others with his own identity instead of being a sidekick.

i mean, if I went from fighting tooth and nail to prove i can work alongside someone without being their sidekick or replacement, just to have a fucking mobster villian cliche walking around with zero consequences-which must hurt so much more especially after you saw up close on all the twisted shit he was up to, back when you didn’t even know he existed-then he starts telling you what you ‘have’ to be as if you haven’t been handling impossible standards all on your own. as if you haven’t been fighting so hard for your own identity. personally i would be seething but that’s just me. Looking at the panel on the bottom (where Duke is talking to Jace) Duke could be talking about the countless people he has faced, including Jason.

But to touch on how freely Duke insults Jason to others-it really makes what Duke says to Jace here all the more interesting to me. does Duke really want to associate with Jason much, or is he doing it to be good and quiet and to keep the peace? It isn’t impossible considering that one of Duke’s biggest fears is that he is a placeholder who can be discarded easily. 

who knows, and i really really want more writers to dive into this in the future, especially to grow and evolve their relationship/dynamic. im a sucker for seeing how other characters-who devoted themselves so much to batman/the batfam and what it stands for, to build and grow far beyond that-just to see an actual murderer get what is essentially a free pass on top of telling you how to be Robin (which isn’t out of character for Jason) or even your OWN identity.

(sorry to hijack your post i just love love duke thomas and I don’t see many posts about him!)

Every Time Duke Thomas Is Snarky Towards or Insults Jason Todd (So Far)

Batman & The Signal TPB // Batman (2016) #33 // Detective Comics (2016) #1000 // DC Rise of the Power Company

[footfungus96-blog]

Reality TV: Where Drama is 'Real' and Controversy is the Main Prize

Week 4

Ah, reality TV - the pinnacle of human storytelling. Who needs scripted dramas with their fancy writers and character development when you can watch Tiffany Pollard in Flavor of Love?

A unique feature of reality television is its ability to let audiences indirectly experience a "real" world by observing the challenges and struggles of others. These shows emphasize the formation of personal relationships, participation in competitions, and the resolution of conflicts. They encourage viewers to emotionally invest in the participants' journeys and relate to them. The inherent curiosity people have about others plays a key role in making these programs appealing and enjoyable (Nabi et al. 2003).

What started as harmless fun (Survivor, anyone?) has evolved into a full-blown circus of chaos, complete with manufactured drama, questionable morals, and enough memes to break the internet. Let’s dive into how digital fandoms have turned reality TV into a battleground of hashtags, viral moments, and, let’s be honest, some truly questionable life choices. Buckle up, folks - it’s about to get messy.

The 'Reality' of Reality TV

Let’s talk about the so-called “reality” of reality TV. Sure, it’s called “reality,” but the only thing real is the producers cackling behind the scenes as they edit the footage to make someone look like the villain. I mean, have you seen The Bachelor? It’s supposed to be about finding love, but let’s be real - it’s really about who can cry the prettiest or start the most Twitter fights. And don’t even get me started on Love Island. If you think you are too emotional or dramatic to function normally, just spend some $$$ to watch Keeping Up With The Kardashians - it’s like a trainwreck, but with more the-men-always-cheat and catchphrases.

Digital platforms like Tumblr and Twitter have turned these shows into full-blown meme factories. Fans don’t just watch the drama; they live-tweet it, dissect every moment, and turn the most ridiculous scenes into viral gold. Remember when Tiffany Pollard gave us “Good morning. NOT YOU YOU CAN CHOKE” and The Real Housewives gave us “Who gon’ check me, boo?” Iconic. And by iconic, I mean the kind of content that makes you question humanity but also keeps you hitting “refresh” on your feed. Reality TV may not be real, but the memes? Oh, those are very real.

Flavor of Love

Flavor of Love - the show that redefined “quality entertainment.” Because nothing says “must-watch TV” like watching a group of bold, unapologetic personalities compete for the affection of Flavor Flav, a man whose clock necklace was arguably the most stable thing about him. The premise? Simple: take one eccentric rapper, add a house full of individuals with personalities bigger than their hair, and stir in a generous helping of chaos. What could possibly go wrong?

Let’s talk about the iconic moment when New York (Tiffany Pollard) and Pumpkin had that fight. You know the one - where Pumpkin threw a drink at New York, and New York responded with the kind of energy that made us all simultaneously gasp and cheer. It was messy, it was ridiculous, and it was everything. Fans on Tumblr and Twitter lost their collective minds. Memes flooded the internet, think pieces were written, and suddenly, “I ain’t come here to make friends!” became a cultural catchphrase.

What made Flavor of Love so special wasn’t just the drama - it was how fans turned it into a shared experience. Tumblr was filled with GIFs of New York’s epic clapbacks, and Twitter threads dissected every moment like it was the Zapruder film. The show wasn’t just a trainwreck; it was our trainwreck. And honestly, isn’t that what reality TV is all about? Giving us something to laugh at, cringe over, and bond over with strangers on the internet? Flavor of Love may not have been high art, but it was high entertainment, paved the way for future reality shows - and sometimes, that’s all we need.

The Controversy Industrial Complex

Let’s be real: controversy isn’t just a side effect of reality TV – it’s the main ingredient. The more outrageous, the better the ratings. Producers know exactly what they’re doing when they stir the pot, and if you thought that epic fight was real? Cute. It was probably staged over something as trivial as who got the last Diet Coke in the fridge.

Digital fandoms take the chaos to a whole new level. Fans don’t just watch the drama - they live-tweet it, dissect it, and sometimes even start petitions to get their favorite villain kicked off the show. It’s like a collective hive mind of chaos, and honestly, it’s kind of impressive. Reality TV is basically a soap opera, but with worse acting and more product placement. And yet, here we are, glued to our screens, because nothing says “entertainment” like watching people argue over avocado toast while hashtags trend worldwide.

But beyond the entertainment factor, dramatic reality shows have a deeper impact, especially on younger viewers. Shows like Keeping Up with the Kardashians and Selling Sunset glamorize extravagant lifestyles, making wealth and luxury seem like the ultimate measures of success. The constant display of designer wardrobes, luxury vacations, and multimillion-dollar mansions creates unrealistic expectations about what success should look like. For many young people, this fuels a mindset where self-worth is tied to material possessions rather than personal achievements or character (Zhao 2018).

Moreover, these shows reinforce the idea that conflict and drama are necessary for social relevance. The way cast members handle problems - through explosive arguments, public call-outs, or shallow apologies - can shape how impressionable audiences approach real-life relationships. Instead of encouraging communication and empathy, reality TV normalizes toxic behavior, making manipulation and betrayal seem like acceptable social strategies.

At the end of the day, reality TV isn’t just mindless entertainment - it subtly shapes how we see the world. And for a generation growing up with social media and constant comparison, the obsession with curated perfection and manufactured drama, in my opinion, is doing more harm than good.

(People got someone publishing a 'sex tape' as a public figure now is embarrassing)

(Kendall Jenner cutting a cucumber is the most "It's a banana, Michael, what could it cost, ten dollars?" thing I've seen a rich person do in a long time)

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References:

Nabi, RL, Biely, EN, Morgan, SJ & Stitt, CR 2003, ‘Reality-Based Television Programming and the Psychology of Its Appeal’, Media Psychology, vol. 5, no. 4, pp. 303–330, viewed <https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1207/S1532785XMEP0504_01>.

Zhao, C 2018, ‘“Keeping Up With the Kardashians” Could Make Viewers Colder Toward Poor People, Study Finds’, Newsweek, viewed 15 February 2025, <https://www.newsweek.com/keeping-kardashians-could-make-viewers-cold-towards-poor-people-study-finds-1054780>.