#i'm in pain thinking about this rn
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
-deep sigh- this is such a stretch but... satosugu fix it au where time traveling IS INDEED POSSIBLE by some stroke of pure luck, and gojo actually takes the time to confront and comfort geto after what happened with riko and geto gets the support he desperately needed before he fucking went off the deep end and when gojo returned to the future, geto was an instructor at jujutsu tech with gojo and shoko and company and ALL IS WELL
ALL IS WELL
#jjk#satosugu#suguru geto#satoru gojo#all of that COULD HAVE BEEN AVOIDED IF PEOPLE PAID FUCKING ATTENTION!!!!! TO HIM!!!!#it was just so needlessly tragic and u g h#they really cannot make me hate you geto#you were just failed by jujutsu higherups etc#agh#i'm in pain thinking about this rn
21 notes
·
View notes
Text
Something something Charles giving himself the brawn label and Edwin the brains label. Something something Edwin always compliments Charles when he figures something out. Calling him a genius and emphasizes that Charles is more than just the fighter of the two. Something something these two make my brain rot.
#Sorry I'm really bad at articulating what I mean here cause my thoughts are so jumbled rn but aahhhhhhh#just something about Charles seeing himself as one thing and Edwin telling him he's not#especially when Charles is worried about becoming like his dad#like self depreciation is so easy to fall into but It's nice when someone is there to tell you that no you are more than you think#it's just so sweet ahhhhhhhhhhhh#I'm bad at explaining things#I love this show so much and I think Charles might being passing Niko as my favourite character lmao he's just so relatable#anyways#dead boy detectives#charles rowland#edwin payne#edwin paine#dead boy detective agency#dbd
68 notes
·
View notes
Text
i took this screenshot while watching sakura yesterday bc i liked the lighting and pose, but it's been on my mind all freaking day. the reason why kara's the only one still fucking around & drinking with his biker buddies is because that phone call he ran to get was a rejection. he tried to find something to do to help out, but failed. he struggled to find work back in s1, too, so it makes me wonder if he seemed to give up bc he doubted if he could actually land a job like his brothers...
#sorry this bit has me in the same fucking pose as kara here. he's got me pondering#to be fair choro's also still unemployed in the episode but she is shown to be job hunting while kara's doing fuck all on screen#( i think he's still helping around the house at least tho )#also i felt kinda bad for kara when he was with his biker buddies and he still got called painful#yeah that's his thing but ichi going '' he gets treated the same no matter where he goes '' lowkey stung my heart idk#anyways i finished the fake screenshot so it's got the story behind it on my mind. infer what you will from me mentioning this here :)#i'll post it later today bc i'm about to pass out and idk what to write for the caption rn#hopefully this post still makes some sense despite my mild sleep deprivation#osmt#karamatsu#mj rambles
35 notes
·
View notes
Text
thinks about q!hgduo's final conversation before purgatory and how even though it ultimately changed nothing in the end it still said so much about how stubborn they both can be,,, and how little they value themselves alone despite how many people love and care for them... or maybe it's how willing they are to throw themselves into the flames for those exact people even if it's not what they'd want from them.
They both left that conversation shaken by what the other said yet with their resolve to stick to a of path of self-destruction strengthened... And those paths ended with Cellbit lost in purgatory for months under control of the watcher and Bad dying before reviving with no memories of his time on the island... and with the people they love most- their family- Cellbit's husband and Bad's children- suffering the worst- can anyone hear me-
#qsmp#badboyhalo#cellbit#hgduo#gossipduo#qmockingjays#it's still one of my favorite roleplay moments#I just think a lot about Bad's side in particular how he kept on trying to appeal to Cellbit#by reminding him that he has people who love and care for him who'd be devastated if they lost him and Cellbit#tuning him out and refusing to back down... Bad briefly realizing that the pain he felt watching Cellbit in that state#was the exact pain he was going to inflict on those who love him... but still sticking to his plan anyway o(-(#I'm not in the right place rn to fully word out my feelings but like... it's loving people to the point that you'd do anything for them#but really they just want you around :( they don't need you to destroy yourself for them... they just need you around.#anyway I'm going out for dinner now BYEEEEEEEEEEE!
43 notes
·
View notes
Text
#npd#narcissistic personality disorder#narcissism#npd safe#cluster b#cluster b safe#personality disorder#poll#polls#npd poll#Tw violence#Tw murder#Tw blood mention#Tw injury#Tw torture#If you couldn't tell I'm not okay rn I keep thinking about a certain someone and he deserves all the pain in the world
21 notes
·
View notes
Text
My homunculus
Hashtag my homunculus
#diy plush#i think i was overcomplicating the bodies. like. most basic plush body shape is fine. who gives a shit#also i am maybe regretting the felt for the head... you can see the wear on her already.#alfonse is holding up really well bc his felt was thicker. HUGE pain in the ass to work with#but it did end up making him super sturdy!#i have been thinking of going back and fixing sharena's head (you can see it's misshapen too)#but like. i actually have no idea where i'd start w that. aside from adjusting the shape beneath the head#but i have no idea how i'd fix the issue of her material without like. having to re-do her completely.#at their core these two really are fuck around and find out plushies. i'm learning the importance#of what material to pick and for what purpose.#unfortunately i am gonna do something different for alfonse's body too. the initial one i made#while super cute and i still love the back stitching. i need to readjust proportions#esp if i'm gonna be layering materials for clothes. ESP on this small of a scale.#i have a test run body on alfonse rn that i'm not entirely sold on either. proportions are right#but the craftsmenship is shoddy on it. so. split on even showing it.#also i did succumb to cheating w a sewing machine. which! i need more practice w anyway.#esp if i want to make bigger plushies in the future actually. so. at this point i was just avoiding it#also don't mind the stray pages there LMFAOO one is a comic i already posted and was reffing#for other comics i've been doing. really cool i have like. a backlog of stuff i can ref of my own work actually#i am soooooo obsessed w paneling and placement... nobody talks about paneling and placement......#sharena
18 notes
·
View notes
Text
girlbossed too hard.... unless...
#like a lot of stuff about kh. one thing being its sprawling plot. love it all fitting together like that#anyway wanted to write a story like that. here i am with my ocs. and now im worried ive made it too confusing#1. maybe it's just because I haven't finished fixing plot holes? 2. maybe it's bc im not telling it in the right order? (random comics)#3. maybe it's because I assume ppl know more than they probably remember? 4. maybe im bad at explaining it?#anyway I talk to ppl about it and they're like ???? about things so now im like hm. i done messed up#problem is. it all makes perfect sense in my head#nomura is this how you felt? is this just the consequences of my actions??#anyway rip me. doomed to pain and suffering since the days of my youth#wanna get better at talking and expressing things but ACK. so hard!!!!#august rambles#text#you may be thinking huh?? you're expressing something rn. and yes. you see. my disease is so annoying. it is not consistent#sometimes I think about it enough i think about ways to talk about it. sometimes I think about it enough and it soaks into my life so...#someone else goes 'hey whats that?' and i go 'oh tiny info about it' as if secretly the person knew everything else because uh#i thought about it so hard. it must be common knowledge??? i don't know things other people don't??#anyway screaming crying i feel like I'm not expressing this right. doomed.
14 notes
·
View notes
Text
The Silt Verses my absolute beloved: I'm relistening and was so excited to get back to Chapter 17, and the way that most of the episode just sweeps over you with an unexpected degree of kindness. Important to be reminded that kindness — or something like it — is possible, even in this brutal world.
#the silt verses#tsv#the silt verses season 2#pine's silt verses relisten#'the words are kind and i enjoy their closeness to my breath' love 2 have feelings about the way we reach for poetry for the ritualized wor#to soothe#as much as all the other things#and now thinking my little thoughts about prayers and rituals and liturgy and how the language of tsv often allows us to navigate#the horrors in a metaphorical-metaphysical?-way#the way the show uses a kind of mythical cadence in its narration carries us into the space of myth or fairy tale#and lets us sit outside it: this is a story#but the naturalistic dialogue and the immersive soundscapes and the so-real performances force us to be present#writing meta in the tags because its after midnight and i don't have it in me to really write this rn#but I'm eternally stunned by this show#no id#sorry i am in a lot of pain and am going to bed soon!
72 notes
·
View notes
Text
Wei Ying smiles like the sun.
When they were younger, Lan Wangji had felt scorched by it. It had seared into his bones and behind his retinas, ivory-bright and burning, and so, for fear of what would become of him if he looked too long, he had turned away.
Now the clouds have covered the sun, and it shines through so rarely that every glimpse of it is a treasure beyond reason or compare, and so -- even though he knows he should not -- Lan Wangji creeps forward on silent footsteps, peering a little closer, desperate in a wordless, formless, twisting way for even a glimpse, even a glimmer, even a tiny flash of that smile.
The bunny burrows deeper into Wei Ying's robes, and he grins, and it is like Lan Wangji is standing in the sun again after so many weeks of rain.
Then the wind shifts. Lan Wangji's robes, his ribbon, his hair suddenly lift and carry out far enough to catch the corner of Wei Ying's eye, and the clouds return so quickly Lan Wangji feels dizzy with it, feels sick. Wei Ying's back goes perfectly straight, and his face falls into an expression of cold neutrality. Lan Wangji has to clench his jaw to choke back a cry of despair.
His husband turns to face him without actually looking at him. Wei Ying solutes him with formality and grace. Greets him with "Hanguang-Jun."
The sun is gone again.
The sun is gone, and there is nothing Lan Wangji can do to bring it back -- not when he is the cloud that covers it. He should have turned away as soon as he saw Wei Ying in the field. He should not have intruded on this private moment of happiness, not when Wei Ying seems to experience happiness so rarely, now.
Lan Wangji returns the bow, greets his husband. Tells him "I am being sent on a night-hunt. I will depart this evening, and estimate it will take me three days to return."
Wei Ying does not ask to come along. His eyes do not light up in curiosity, he does not bounce on his knees and pester Lan Wangji for information about where he is going or what he is hunting. All Wei Ying does is incline his head and say "Alright."
Come with me, Lan Wangji wants to say, but he knows he hasn't the right. Wei Ying is likely relieved to have Lan Wangji out of his hair for a few days. Maybe, without Lan Wangji there to cast a shadow over him, Wei Ying will allow himself to smile.
I didn't mean to take it from you. I didn't know I could. I didn't realize how much power I had, how much I was hurting you. I would do anything to make you happy here. I wish I could figure out how.
Lan Wangji accepts the dismissal for what it is. He turns, and leaves, and hopes his husband will breathe easier with him gone. Maybe he should start taking more night hunts.
-------------------------
He doesn't know how long Lan Zhan has been standing there, but it's definitely been long enough to see Wei Wuxian rolling around in the dirt with the rabbits like an idiot. He tries to correct his posture, schools his face. Maintain a proper seat. Do not smile for no reason. Excessive displays of emotion are prohibited. Act with decorum.
It isn't enough. By the time he has himself presentable, Lan Zhan is visibly grinding his teeth. Even from here, Wei Wuxian can see the way his jaw flexes when he clenches it. He's expecting to be scolded -- pets aren't allowed in Cloud Recesses, and this clearing technically isn't in the bounds of Cloud Recesses but no Lan has ever cared about technicality when it came to obeying their rules. (Or punishing people for not obeying their rules.)
Still, it isn't Lan Zhan's fault that Wei Wuxian is exactly as much of a terrible husband as Madam Yu always told him he would be, so he salutes exactly as is proper between married spouses and calls Lan Zhan by his title, as respectfully as he can.
Lan Zhan bows back, and doesn't immediately drag Wei Wuxian off to be punished. Huh.
Maybe... maybe he appreciates the attempt?
Wei Wuxian is trying. He's trying so fucking hard. Does Lan Zhan see that? Does he -- does that mean anything to him? Does it matter to him that Wei Wuxian is trying as hard as he can, even though he keeps fucking up?
"I am being sent on a night-hunt. I will depart this evening, and estimate it will take me three days to return."
Ah. He's just in a hurry, then. That makes more sense.
Wei Wuxian nods. Says "Alright," to show he understands. Lan Zhan will probably pass his punishment on to someone else, then, or he'll decide what to do about Wei Wuxian when he gets back.
The stupid, childish part of Wei Wuxian that refuses to fucking learn wants to say be safe or come back to me. Wants to take Lan Zhan's hand in his and kiss the backs of his knuckles as a goodbye. Wants to help him pack, and see him off at the gates. Wei Wuxian has accepted that he'll never step foot outside the Cloud Recesses again, so going with Lan Zhan isn't an option for him, but at least a proper goodbye, at least something --
He crushes that stupid, childish part of himself as ruthlessly as he can. He has bothered Lan Zhan more than enough. The poor man is literally trapped with him now, and Wei Wuxian still can't be a decent husband for him. Lan Zhan deserves a few days to himself.
He knots his hands in the skirt of his robes, and bites his tongue hard enough to hurt, and doesn't move, and doesn't speak, and doesn't lift his eyes from the fluffy back of the little white rabbit until his husband's footsteps have vanished down the path, and Wei Wuxian is alone again.
#MDZS#The Untamed#Lan Wangji#Wei Wuxian#Wangxian#Angst#there's no plot to this it's just pain#I'm thinking about misunderstandings and arranged marriage AUs#and Yu Ziyuan and Lan Qiren both being just Fantastic Parents you guys#absolutely A Plus Plus#and Wangxian in that awful mutual pining dynamic where they both#believe they're hurting the other just kind of by existing#and so they're trying to give the other what they think they want only to make it worse#because what they both really want is to love each other as loudly and openly as they can#but neither of them think they're allowed to do that#so they're keeping their words and their hands to themselves#I don't usually angst but this specific flavor is exactly what hurts me#and I'm having a craving rn
109 notes
·
View notes
Text
spending halloween with an awful flare-up is transphobic
#I've been in discomfort bordering on pain for seven straight hours#it's just bad enough that I can't forget about it#I am having SUCH a difficult time thinking about anything else#which is uhhhhh esp bad rn! bc I'm trying to prep the first session of a new system#bluh bluh
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
she is so fucking pretty btw. i loev you please be nice and come home
#i'm a little concerned about the harmony to be quite honest#but like robin's very genuine in her want to help people... even though the spotlight just brings her pain#i think the harmony and the rest of the family may be using her and sunday and she caught on#resulting in her 'murder'#idk that's the general vibe i'm getting rn#might come to a different conclusion as i replay hsr#which i'm doing rn. very fun. there are so many things i understand better now god#anyway i've seen people complain about her design and call it bad????? THIS IS ONE OF THEIR BEST DESIGNS WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?#'it's too simple!' YEAH. THAT'S WHAT MAKES IT GOOD#IT IS SO REFRESHING TO SEE MIHOYO PUT OUT A NORMAL DESIGN FOR ONCE IN THEIR LIVES
14 notes
·
View notes
Text
#tko_art#yeah i don't think i'll come back to finish this#was feeling some sort of sadness with it but it's not how i feel rn#kinda feeling meh about it#but i guess i just gotta let it go#something about that glazed look got me feeling it#somethign something i don't wanna be here anymore#or something something i don't wanna do this anymore#but i feel like if I didn't add the lighting on the eyes thistle would bash me over the head#and the glazed eyes there's a lighting matter that's missing i just can't put finger on it#but i'm not trynna wake up sick tomorrw#hhhhmmm#probably should've added blood or something but oh well#somethign somethign sometimes some pains aren't noticable or whatever the fuck#sorry decapitated oc#had to do it for the lore#jk girl#we all know you're just an extension of me when i'm in the feels#one day i'll flesh you out bbg
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
80 or so years of life really ain't enough can I have an elf lifespan instead please? Or at least a dwarf's... I need at least a couple hundred years... Oh and a new spine every 5 or so years, if that's not too much to ask. 3. 3 years actually. Yeah, a new spine every 2 years, and a lifespan of 350-750 years, that's all I want really.
#SORRY this is such a random thing to be posting about and I guess it's a vent post haha#I suppose I've just been feeling a lot of... dread and fear lately... especially in the late hours...#''Lately'' as in on and off for most of my life but *a lot* as of the past few months#Like#Oh it's weirdly embarrassing to talk about this here it's a tad personal uh **tw (discussions of) death#But do you ever just feel paralyzed by the knowledge that one day you'll be 40? Or 60? Or 80? If you're lucky!#I worry a lot about wasting my life#I worry a lot about dying an unpleasant death#Or a painful one#I suppose I've always been gerascophobic...#But finishing school and turning 23 and not having a job and having just a hard time with my physical health lately...#I haven't been great I guess#I just feel like time has been moving so quickly lately!!!#And I've been going nowhere.#:0 not to be too much of a bummer y'all I'm not like feeling horrible rn or anything but I do need to vent I think#Cause if not it just stays coiled up inside of me.#*gah* I should channel all of this energy into Glenn in my pirate fic lol#😌 he's insecure (in part) cause he feels old#🥲 ough and I don't feel amazing about that most recent chapter but I guess that's a whole new vent#working on some different stuff for a bit.#ANYWAYS#I hope whoever happens to be reading this is having a good night ✨️#oh or day if it's day for you lol
24 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#hhhhh I'll probably delete this later but if i don't physically put these thoughts somewhere I'll maybe explode.#but fuck man. shit sucks fr! I highkey think I can't go to work tomorrow but yknow how it goes!!!!#I'm caught somewhere between finally being taken seriously about my health issues#and having the most wretched mental health crisis#like on one hand fantastic! I'm being taken seriously now its gotten to the point where I cant fucking walk normally#but on the other hand oh my god holy shit. i had to get this bad???? and I'm worried. i know theres shit so much bigger than me rn going on#but I'm worried about my health. especially when I've been trying to deal with it for the better part of like.... 5 years#since i was 19!!!!#I'm 24 and worrying about whether or not I'll actually walk about with 0 pain ever again isn't that fucked.#so that's bittersweet. ive got physio tomorrow. blood tests next week#an ultrasound coming up#its ultimately a good thing im being taken seriously. if not a terrifying acceptance that everything ive been feeling has been real and#well. bad.#and like with this right is the crash of my mental health. just a fuckin nosedive man.#i have a relatively stressful job i felt out of my depth about and thus guilty for but now its a role that I've approached in constant pain#for the last few months.#i can't deal with that actually! lots of stress! lots of pain! lots of mental pain over my physical condition! my job grinding my soul!#aaaaa!!!!!!!#like i dont WANT to be unemployed either#I'd much rather be uhhhh employed! and able to save money towards actually getting Help™#but I've got to admit that i hurt too much. and its consuming my whole fucking brain.#but I'll go on#ive got my first trip out the country solo next week!! im heading to san Fransisco!!! im excited.#but I'm worried for the inevitable moment where my pains catch up with me#ill surpress it while I'm out there. try and remind myself to have a good time. return to the uk and feel a weeks worth of pain#and even THAT sucks to consider#but i should stop#rambles
4 notes
·
View notes
Note
IT'S ME, THE GUY. COMING BACK TO ASK IF YOU WATCHED STUPID BIOLOGY ANIME YET.
NO I HAVE NOT. IM REWATCHING TWEWY BECAUSE I HAVE INFECTED YOU, THE GUY, WITH THE SILLY SHOW WHERE EDGY 15 YEAR OLD DIES AND PLAYS THE FUCKINF. GAME
#shingetsu online#ask hugh#anonymous#i'll watch cells at work some day im so sorray... i adore biology but i'm on my fuckinf period so thinking about blood rn is. painful /sill
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
I hope my ex dies
#His bf doesn't seem to be online rn so we're fine. Anyways. Get the fuck out of my head asshole#I'm sick of thinking about your stupid fucking ass when I'm trying to have a decent time#If I had my way you would be in pain right now#Or at least contemplating your life choices and how you treated me 😊#But nooooo you get to get fucking laid. Not like you ever called me hot or pretty or attractive after I turned you down like once#And my boyfriend lives in South Carolina! And I'm not hot!#And you know how I know that? Because I had you for THREE YEARS and you NEVER FUCKING SAID I WAS#This isn't productive. I'm hot. My ex is stupid. I'm hot and he was wrong. My bf is right. My ex is stupid#Sorry for the vent post I will probably delete it when I get paranoid I just can't get over the fact he got LAID. DIE
6 notes
·
View notes