#i'm gonna sleep now it's like two am
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oathkeeper-of-tarth · 9 months ago
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Also I quit my job of what would in about a month or two have been 10 years, and perhaps now I will get to actually be a human being again.
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front-facing-pokemon · 1 year ago
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steelthroat · 6 months ago
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*looking at my history notes*
"Okay so this is 4.7k words long, I usually can read at least 40/50k words of fanfiction a day so I should be able to..."
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plexippusangel · 4 months ago
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About to hand weave this man a potion carrying pouch in his character colors. I was already thinking about it. And then was like no. It's too early. I'll just give him a bit of the yarn my pouch is woven out of that I hypothetically would use as one of the components as a favor to wear for the tournament. I will be normal. So normal.
AND THEN HE GAVE ME A HANDMADE POTION CARRYING POUCH IN HIS BLUE THIS MAN MATCHED MY FREAK AND I TEMPORARILY SCALED BACK
gonna stay at 100% freak going forward
#faer personal files#i am about to get so so sappy in the tags#i am typing this bc i started setting up my loom and then i was like wait i need sleep#i literally have dnd in the morning#augh#it is immune to boyfriend curse bc 1. he did not request it 2. it is a surprise and 3. i am weaving not knitting 4. im not a girl#oh 5 he's not even technically my boyfriend yet#i also want to flex. like even when he is at events i am not at i want people envying his custom hand woven pouch and him to be like thanks#my partner made it for me <3#man cannot hand me a mace and a cool heraldic item and expect me to not want everyone to know he is loved#he's gonna have to get used to it. not saying i love you yet you know what i mean.#idk. i like him so much. i like who he is i like how he is and i like that he actually has room for me in his head#i like being looked at without feeling sliced in two. even i can't always do that when i look in the mirror.#i like when he smiles. i like when he looks a little surprised about how delighted i am by him but i'm gonna like it even more when#the surprise settles down bc he feels secure in how much i like him#i wanna make him worse i want to give him an ego i want to make him better i want him to love himself so much#i love getting 3 am goodnight texts bc he was working on his art i love sending those i was in an art hole text now i must sleep texts#a good 6 hours earlier lol and having him be just as hyped i love talking to him i love his smile so much#i am putting in the work to get chill with reciprocation bc i am not used to it and wow. wow. this is. very nice.#my knight
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thegothicviking · 1 year ago
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I loved your addition to the Richard and Paul post about friends mimicking and mirroring certain habits. Quite interesting from a psychological point of you, so thank you for bringing that up 😊
Aw! You're welcome! <3 I love reading about psychology. I had that as my first pick and had Archaeology as a 2nd pick. But of course I didn't have enough points/good enough grades to get into a year of psychology. But it's fun to read as a hobby anyway!
But back to the Paulchard case; It's very cute to see that they are taking from each other's gestures, especially when they are telling stories. Who do you think started it all? I have a feeling it might have been Paul, since I remember seeing some Feeling B interviews with him and Flake and baby Paul would always gesture his hands all around, up and down, left and right (even back then), while Flake would most likely be still. Meanwhile I haven't seen Richard do it so much in the past. He seemed rather shy in the 90's with Rammstein (unless if he was really high on drugs while performing on stage, to the point where he didn't seem to be "there" mentally, which I am so happy he got out of/quit! He seems so much healthier and aware now! Good for him!) With time, I think Richard gradually adapted/mimicked Paul's outgoing personality, first as a way for Paul to find something in common with him/like him, as what I explained in my addition, until this outgoing persona rubbed off onto Richard so much, that it became a part of him to.
So NOW it's like they are having this cute "competition" about who can be the most charming/outgoing person in interviews, and the cutest part of it all; is that they are probably not even AWARE of themselves that they have this little, wholesome "competition" to win the smiles of the fans! <3 Their mind is probably just doing it now because they subconsciously want to be "the most likable among all the guys". I don't think there is any harm in this though! It's not like one of them think he is so much better than the other, intentionally, that he would try to put the other man down/ make him seen as less valuable/weaker tham himself". At this point I think it is, and has always been a very wholesome (and highly unintenionally!), cute little "competition" to try and win over the most fans! <3 I'm glad you liked my little add on this! ^ ^ I thought it would be a boring read xD
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shima-draws · 8 months ago
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Today's Sanlu art is probably gonna be late btw I meant to get a head start on it last night when I got home but I was so EEPY. So I took a nap instead LMAO
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loumauve · 2 months ago
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I snapped today at work, and by snapped I mean I politely commented on a help desk ticket by summing up an mess of an (type of) issue that's come up for at least the fourth time in the 2+ months I've been managing user accounts, and asked the person responsible to fix it (himself for once) because last time I fixed his mess-up it took me two whole days to work out the details with at least four other colleagues from different departments and I really don't want to do it again. there's other shit that needs doing, I've been working 10+ hour days for most of this week already, so I need to cut down not add on more.
(good thing tho - at least we managed to fix the issue where the dataset of a newer employee got mixed up with another one of the same name and therefore wasn't able to apply for any of the access/accounts she needed. technically not entirely my area but it does impact us not being allowed to create an account for her so I figured I might as well track that issue down. took three days and at least three other people, but hey - it should all work out now. yay for that)
#been feeling anxious af ever since bc it's the first time I've been this firm in a reply and idk how they'll take it#there's underlying issues in inter-departmental communication that need fixing that cause these issues to happen again and again#but my boss is on parental leave and his substitute is sick not that she cares or is up for doing her job where communication is concerned#so there's no real sense in addressing that rn esp by me who's only been there since June. but it does frustrate me a lot#anyway. I'm sure I'll get over this too. but yeah.. ppl not thinking things through for the two mins it takes to create an account#or the twenty seconds it takes to check if one already exists before creating a new one#or the minute it takes to check if folks still have an active contract past their time working in your department before deleting an accoun#just jfc. put in a smidge of effort and five mins total and save the rest of us from spending half a day to fix your mistake#oh well. if I get a pissy response I'll just blame it on being new as an intern and being too motivated and idealistic I guess#god forbid I expect people to do their jobs thoroughly or with at least a singular thought..#anyway. I feel like I'm allowed to be grumpy abt this since we are the folks who end up having to fix this shit#and by we I mean pretty much mostly me at this point bc one colleague is sick atm. my boss barely has time for this and is on leave#and my other colleague only works half time so I'm the one who's been handling most of these over the past month or so#which.. is still insane considering how I'm a goddamn intern who shouldn't even have admin rights tbh#but without them I couldn't do anything at all lol so here I am. nice that they trust and believe in me I suppose#that's why I try to do my best. (who am I kidding that's always the case anyway)#but yeah. definitely a 50% staff support job and only 50% of the other important things that need doing rn it's more like 90/10#and it's funny how I still dread my two hours of hotline. but every time the line is too busy I still jump in#we are also only 6 people atm out of 10 and three of us are still in training. and one of the trained folks had to come back in mid time of#next week we'll likely be 4#depending on if our substitute boss lady is back.. not that I'd look forward to it. she's a mess and she's been horrible to deal with latel#sure. she's stressed. but she's either snapping at me when I ask abt shit I can't know yet or she's ignoring me. great basis for team work.#so honestly I'd rather she not return on Monday. esp not if she's gonna spread her germs everywhere#but now sleep. sorry for the rant. it's certainly been quite the month since I returned from my own wisdom tooth rated sick leave..#gotta be up again in 6.5 hrs so I can be at work at 6 to let the electrician in. I'm gonna sleep so hard over the weekend I stg#a day in the life of..
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blackjack-15 · 11 months ago
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SYD YOU DO NOT GO OUTSIDE TO TWO FIGHTING GANGS WITHOUT BACKUP THE BEEF IS ALREADY SHORT HANDED
oh thank heaven backup thank you tina and gary
i think tina could take on everyone here. she's got scary mom energy, i love it
"now we're all in various states of knowing each other" she really is improv-ing this isn't she. i love you dearly syd please have a plan
gun in the front richie??? if you blow your balls off carmy is never gonna let you live it down and you'll deserve it
the power of sandwiches to solve conflict! XD it's pretty much the only thing they had as leverage, but 1) the Beef really doesn't have the money for free sandwiches for gangsters every week for the rest of forever and 2) oh boy is this gonna send richie off the deep end. he already feels irrelevant b/c of his [redacted] ex-wife and carmy taking over the Beef, and the episode and the one before it has reminded us he's not doing well
"where you gonna go, Richie?" he's still grieving Mikey, and he doesn't have him anymore. lost his best friend, his wife, thinks he's losing his kid, losing the restaurant, losing the institutions he's so familiar with? things are not going well for richie and it's gonna come to a head
carmy offering an apology to syd here is technically unneeded, but very sweet, and he asks if she's okay just like sugar wanted him to ask her! they're very not subtle with that -- he learns a lesson, he applies it to his relationship with sydney, rinse, repeat. who carmy's deepest relationship with at this point is probably a mix of richie and sugar, but the relationship he puts the most effort into by far is his relationship with sydney. inchresting.
aaaaaand richie called the cops. really, really hoping there aren't consequences for that and it's just illustrating how disconnected he is, because The Beef cannot handle more repair bills, truly
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ilkkawhat · 3 months ago
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why do i finally feel like living at 7:50pm on a work night
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izzy-b-hands · 1 year ago
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im ngl i had a lil breakdown before my shower (which i took just before i went to bed to chill and watch the new eps) abt some thought-id-already-worked-all-thru-it irl stuff that resurfaced on me like trauma tends to and i just
it made everything in the show so. I don't know how to say it right. but i feel seen and understood and emotionally overwhelmed in a safe yet weird way, just like i did with a lot of s1 and I am Feeling So Much akdnfkgb (i cannot stress enough that this is a Good Thing and I'm absolutely thrilled and happy with the new eps and like. Going to be fine mentally I just gotta wrangle this like i have the times before.)
#text post#god i need a therapist that specialises in PTSD when i can afford therapy again#in the meantime recognition of the self thru the admired other while im in this state weirdly helps#makes me feel like im gonna burst out of my skin and I'm blasting metal in my ear buds to deal with that for now#gonna sleep eventually#i think lmao#im fine honestly bc like. this is not my first breakdown by any means but just. the fucking timing could not have been better#that said i both need a hug and absolutely could not handle being touched rn so that's something#no one's gonna read this far so im gonna just let myself have one little extra messy vent in that#my stupid fucking dad triggered part of this last one and I'm so mad abt it#he doesn't give two fucks abt me now (but he'd pretend to if he saw me in person bc jason LOVES keeping up appearances)#and he would just do a little nod and smile and talk over me telling him all that's happened this last year#i moved across the fucking country with help from friends so i wouldn't wind up dead in ND#and that's the thing i keep surviving and I dont understand why when I'm so often stressed and struggling to want to live#that and more has been sitting weighing and i just. want to tell him all of this and for him to be proud of me#he'll never be proud of me the way i want bc even my mum hasn't pulled that off#where they're proud of me as I am with no caveats or hiding parts of myself#if u think this is bad pls know i deleted a maximum tags tag essay/trauma dump just before this on this post lmao#i am In The Soup rn but it's gonna be fine#gonna rewatch s2 eps and be slightly but safely triggered by bits of ed and izzys stuff and get stoned and try to. process feelings#find some ptsd therapy worksheets online like dr. blohm suggested i try#forgive me the long tags and scroll by it fast if u want/need friends ill try to contain my current mess to this post & few others
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madeimpact · 1 year ago
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Me, blasting Valse di Fantastica and vibing to that 3/4 time signature:
Me:
Me: HOLY SHIT.........DO YOU THINK NOCTIS HAS BALLROOM TRAINING.................
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twogoliathbeetles · 11 months ago
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handed in my essay within my extension time 😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎 <- has slept less than 5 hours since waking up on tuesday
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mittensmorgul · 1 year ago
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🥹
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animalcuckllective · 9 months ago
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My insomnia is killing me. Why can't I just be tired when it's time for bed?
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machidielontheway · 1 year ago
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hmmm made a big money decision i'm not sure about. but i clicked and paid, so there we go !
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heybaetae · 1 year ago
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