#i'm gonna be sooooo insane | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

miraclewoozi · 1 year ago

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tidal.

but vernon has a point to make, so that’s precisely what he does: “i don’t need a sales pitch. you will never — ever — have to convince me to fuck you.”

pairing: vernon x afab!reader type: one-shot (fluff n’ smut) au: est. relationship wc: 4.8k rating: 18+ a/n: i didn’t plan this whatsoever, but i felt so weirdly compelled to write it that i avoided eye-contact with all of my wips, and now… here we are, lol. cw: pov switch, reader is afab + on their period, gender identity + pronouns aren’t designated, blood mention (obvi), unprotected p in v penetration (ill-advised!!), wee bit of dry-humping (ig?), a lil massage, pet names (baby, sweetheart), self-indulgent ref to a favorite docu of mine, and lastly — vernon (yes, this is a warning 🧍🏻) 🔞 MINORS WHO INTERACT WITH ME AND/OR MY CONTENT WILL BE BLOCKED, WHETHER OR NOT THE CONTENT IS NSFW. I’M AN ADULT WRITING EXCLUSIVELY FOR OTHER ADULTS.

Vernon isn’t blind.

He can see you out of the corner of his eye, laying flat on your back, several unexplained centimeters away from his side. With the duvet clenched in your fists, you stare intensely up at the ceiling, like you’re waiting for it to move — or trying to move it yourself, telekinetically. You keep your bottom lip pinched between your teeth, as if you expect it to make a run for it.

So, yes, Vernon can see you.

He just can’t figure out what’s wrong with you.

For a few minutes, he attempts to pay attention to the documentary lighting up the screen on the wall ahead. You were the one that picked it — some wild tale about mother-daughter recluses in New York — and he finds it hard to give a shit about it without your usual commentary. Your hot takes are his favorite part of any movie night, after all.

He’ll be the first to admit that he’s never been good at keeping his eyes off you. Try as he might, he can’t glue his gaze to the television; each glance in your direction sticks longer than the one before it, testing the waters. Minutes slip away just like this until he completely caves, turns his head fully, and stares at you outright.

You still don’t seem to notice.

His brow scrunches up as he watches you, caught in the middle between concerned, confused, and amused by how absolutely ridiculous you look right now. When he speaks, he tries to sound stern, like he isn’t fighting the urge to laugh.

“Baby?”

“Hmm?” is all he gets in response.

You don’t even look his way. If anything, you tense harder now that his attention is on you.

None of it makes sense. Not the weird gap you’ve left between your body and his, your total refusal to look him in the eye, or the fact that there wasn’t an argument to precipitate any of this distance. It’s a symptom with no apparent cause, and it’s totally baffling. Brain-breaking, even.

Frowning, Vernon scoots himself across the bed to get closer to you.

You don’t reciprocate.

He tugs gently at the hem of your sweatshirt in a silent plea for your attention and receives radio silence in response; unless he counts the way you swallow thickly.

Which, for the record, he does not.

This close, Vernon can feel the anxious energy pulsing out of your tensed-up body in waves, so he leans away and props himself up on his elbow. Desperate to know what broke you and how to fix it, he mutters, “What is happening right now?”

Ope.

It comes out harsher than it was supposed to, reading more like annoyance than worry, so he immediately clears his throat. Gently and with a brush of his knuckles against your hip bone, he tries again: “Are you okay? Did I do something to make you mad at me?”

A fly on the wall might get the wrong impression and think he stroked you with a live wire instead.

“Oh, my god. No!” You sputter with a jolt, shifting gears quickly from vaguely on-edge to horrified. You shake your head so frantically that Vernon fears you’ll detach it. “No, you haven’t done anything. I’m fine, I just —”

He interjects with a laugh, “— I don’t necessarily believe that —”

Visibly cringing with every muscle in your body, you cover your face with your hands. Not long after you take a deep breath does a meek voice slip out through your fingers, sounding beyond embarrassed.

“I’m so incomprehensibly horny right now that I can’t even look at you.”

For a second, it’s dead silent because he can’t quite process how much of a weirdo you are, or how completely and hopelessly enamored he is with you. But then the dam breaks. His laugh comes out so forcefully that you pull your hands away from your face, eyes wide.

“Is that so?” He smirks, nodding his head towards the television. “Grey Gardens really gets your motor running, huh?”

Absolutely aghast, you swat at his bicep. Then, you sling your arm over your eyes and groan, “I got my period. It has turned me into a sex-crazed monster, I fear.”

Vernon nods in understanding, even though you can’t see it, and hums, “Ahh.”

And he leaves it at that, only because you seem to have more that you want to say. Something you want to ask, maybe, or a reason you may want to give for not jumping his bones at the first opportunity. He’s down, he thinks without hesitation, so long as you are.

But you don’t say anything.

Maybe you aren’t actually down after all, and that’s why you won’t look at him. Shit, are you embarrassed? Should I say something? Silence falls overtop like a weighted blanket, smothering the two idiots who can’t tell whose turn it is to talk.

Do you or do you not want this right now?

You mumble something that he can’t catch, so he nudges your side gently with his knuckles to encourage you. Just as nervous, you repeat yourself without looking at him, “Period sex is supposed to help with cramps, I think.”

He thinks he’s read the exact same article you have. More than that, he wishes you’d look over at him and see for yourself how completely unbothered he is by this concept.

“If you think about it, it’s kind of like a natural lubricant,” you add in a voice that’s even smaller than before.

Your shyness really might kill him, so he reaches over to grab your hand and gently pull your arm away from your eyes. It’s the first time you’ve looked at him since you laid down — since you put your self-imposed no-contact order in place — and he feels his stupid heart swell.

For what it’s worth, he feels his dick twitch, too.

You open your mouth to speak again, likely to continue your unnecessary campaigning; Vernon is having none of it. He tugs your wrist just enough to tilt you inward, then he kisses you hard enough to shut you up. A tiny whimper slips out of your lips when he pulls away, and it almost makes him regret his decision to do so.

But Vernon has a point to make, so that’s precisely what he does: “I don’t need a sales pitch. You will never — ever — have to convince me to fuck you.”

Your eyes crinkle at the corners, like this is somehow news to you. It shouldn’t be. He’s told you a thousand times in as many different ways how thoroughly crazy you drive him just by existing so closely to him, but maybe you didn’t take him seriously then.

To emphasize his point, he slips his hand under the hem of your sweatshirt and finds your bare waist with the pad of his thumb. It spirals slowly against your warm skin, making both of you dizzy. Then, sick of the distance, Vernon dips his head down to press a kiss to your temple.

“Like, ever,” he murmurs, lips following the curve of your jaw.

Soft, slow kisses trail behind him as he travels down to your lips. Your head tilts further backwards with every single one, providing him with more and more access.

He states it matter-of-factly because, to him, it is. “I’m down so bad for you that it might be terminal.”

“Oh?”

You try to laugh but turn to putty when his palm rests fully on the curve of your waist and pulls you flush against him. The surprised gasp you let loose confirms his suspicion: You can feel how serious he is, affirmation throbbing against your abdomen in time with his heartbeat.

Vernon smirks to himself, relishing your reaction, and bypasses your mouth entirely. A moan escapes from you, soft like an exhale, as his lips move slowly down the length of your neck. Every so often — just to feel you shiver — he flicks the tip of his tongue along the delicate skin he finds there.

“It might be messy…”

The rest of your needless warning gets lost in a dreamy sigh as he suckles at the spot where your neck meets your shoulder. Shifting even closer, your desperate fingers reach out and cling to his t-shirt.

Vernon licks a stripe over the galaxy blooming on your skin. He hums, hand traveling upwards from your waist, “Don’t care about a mess.”

And he means it.

Mindful of any soreness, he smooths his hand over your left breast and massages it tenderly, swearing to himself that he’ll throw the whole fucking mattress out if that’s what it comes down to. For you, he’ll race across town on foot to buy another one, and — fuck it — if the store is closed, he might just break in.

You’re growing impatient; your fingers let go of his shirt and tangle themselves in his hair.

“So needy,” he chuckles low in his chest, teasing. ��You know, I think you’re lying. I think it is this bat-shit insane documentary that’s driving you wild, and you’re too embarrassed to admit it.”

“Stop,” you whine, dragging out the vowel sound.

You don’t, though; you throw your left leg over his right thigh and shimmy forward until your cunt grazes his dick. Involuntarily, he groans at the warmth radiating off your core. Every part of you drives him just the slightest bit insane. You seem to know it, he thinks as he watches your pupils dilate in real time.

But he can play games, too, so he rolls his hips forward and grinds against you. He pushes you further, “Don’t get me wrong, baby. I’m not kink-shaming you —”

“Hansol Vernon Chwe!”

Oh, shit. Government name?

“— I’m just a little surprised, I guess.” He sighs with a shrug. “Think you know somebody…”

Your impatience is scribbled all across your scrunched up face. It seeps into your voice when you crash back against the pillows and huff, “Can you please stop fucking with me and start fucking me?”

“Sex-crazed monster, huh?” Leaning over, Vernon punctuates his question with a quick press of his lips to yours.

You whimper, “I’m so serious. I might explode.”

“Then go take care of whatever you need to take care of.” He kisses you again, smiling so fondly that his eyes may even be twinkling. “And I’ll go get a towel.”

You wait until Vernon clears the threshold before launching yourself out of bed at breakneck speed. Stumbling all the while, you race off to the adjoining bathroom and shut the door forcefully behind you. When it clatters against the frame, you finally admit to yourself that you might be a little bit eager.

Maybe.

Opting to keep your baggy, bleach-stained sweatshirt on, you wiggle out of your shorts and — what he refers to as — your crisis diaper. The high-waisted, frumpy, beige panties are utilized exclusively during your period, and to your surprise, they’ve remained spotless. It’s only ever the pretty and expensive pairs that wind up as collateral damage, isn’t it?

As they pool around your ankles, you can’t help but think that Vernon’s nickname for them is pretty spot on. That’s partly why you figured he might need to be talked into this. Unsated arousal aside, you feel as far from sexy as you can possibly get.

You shake your head to clear your thoughts, kick what you’ve discarded into a pile near the hamper, and let your sweatshirt shift down to cover as much of your ass as it’s capable of managing. You grab a square of toilet paper; then, you go to work excavating the wad of cotton that separates you from everything you want in this life.

It is within the realm of possibility that you’re a little bit eager and a little bit dramatic.

Perhaps.

After discarding the evidence in the small trash can under the sink, you wash your hands as if you’re about to step into an operating theater and not the bedroom you spend half your life in. When you finally feel sterile, you lift your head and catch your reflection in the mirror. Instantly, you make eye contact with the painful, hormonal pimple on your chin — the one you’ve been waging a retinoid war against for days.

“Bitch,” you mutter, like calling it names will be the one thing that finally gets it to shrink. Of course, your plan doesn’t work, but you feel a little less powerless. That’s good enough, you think. At least, as good as it’s going to get.

Now half-naked and certifiably unobstructed, you tiptoe back to your bedroom much more carefully than you left it. Vernon enters from the opposite doorway at the same time, jumping slightly the second he notices you. You ignore his frightened eyes and glance down at the crisp, white towel he’s clutching.

You open your mouth to suggest anything otherwise, but he beats you to it. His eyebrows shoot up his forehead as his mouth widens outwards, a self-aware rectangle. Otherwise expressionless, he lets go of an atonal, “Aaaaaaah”, that tells you he’s caught on.

He says nothing else before turning around and walking back the way he came. You have to bite down on your lips to keep from cackling.

That one’s mine, you think, still as infatuated as you were at the start. I chose that one.

While he’s gone, you try not to move, not to breathe too heavily. Vernon said he didn’t care about a mess, but when he said it, he was speaking theoretically with his hand on your tit. It wouldn’t be the first time he’d spoken recklessly with your body melting under his touch.

As far as you know, he hasn’t had any experience with this mess in practice. He could wind up finding you about as sexy as you currently feel — to wit: not at all. So, erring on the side of caution, you turn yourself into a statue and wait for the boy and his towel to find you again.

When he comes back, he plants a drive-by kiss on your unsuspecting mouth before skirting right around you. With shocking finesse, he grabs the corners of the — thankfully — black towel, which unfurls in the seconds before he flicks it upwards. It lands perfectly in the center of the bed, flat without needing to be fussed with.

“Wow,” he mutters to himself, taking in his clean work with raised eyebrows.

The impressed look is still on his face when he turns around, but you don’t have time to comment on his feat because he laughs as soon as he sees you.

“Kinda look like Donald Duck with the whole top-on, bottom-off situation.”

I chose this one?

You pout with an indignant gasp, crossing your arms over your chest. “I’m not wearing a sailor hat, so…. bad analogy. Rude, even.”

“I’m sorry,” he murmurs as he snakes his arms around your waist and pulls you in close. You stumble a little on your way into him; the jury’s still out about whether it’s his hushed tone or the sudden movement that trips you up.

Between his thumb and index finger, he gently captures your chin. You follow along with his unspoken direction, tilt your face up to meet his. This close, you can see your own reflection in his pupils, black dilating against the warmest shade of brown you’ve ever seen.

Vernon takes a moment of silence as he takes in your features, and he studies them so intently that his eyebrows crinkle on their own. He sighs, sounding so completely serious. “You might get prettier every time I look at you.”

It’s unclear if you’re melting, or gushing; and if it’s the latter, you can’t say which biological process is at fault. Thankfully, the hand at the small of your back keeps your weak knees from buckling when his lips brush over yours.

“Even if you’re dressed like Winnie the Pooh.”

You feel him smirk even before you hear him laugh at his own joke. Then, you feel his hand slide down to cup your bare cheek, squeezing affectionately. You want to tell him that this analogy is still inaccurate because you’re not wearing a crop-top; but he gently instructs you to ditch the sweatshirt and get on the bed, and your body moves automatically. No questions asked.

Carefully, you crawl up onto the mattress, then you center yourself on the towel. Still on your knees, you tilt your head curiously and ask, “Where do you want me?”

“Anywhere,” he breezes, pulling his shirt off and tossing it onto the dresser nearby. He amends, “Everywhere. All the time, and then some.”

“Better be careful,” you tease. “Talking like that might have consequences. You may never be able to get rid of me.”

His joggers are the next to go. Your sanity follows shortly thereafter, hungry eyes lingering on the imprint of his cock underneath his boxer briefs. You have to clamp your mouth shut to keep from drooling.

Brown eyes sparkling, he steps closer to you, kicking his pants aside as he goes. “Be careful,” he echoes, not a hint of cockiness to be found — just softness. “Saying it like a threat doesn’t make me wish it’s not a promise.”

I choose this one.

Crossing all the way to you, Vernon reaches the bed and climbs up with significantly more grace than you did. The mattress dips under his weight as he kneels right in front of you, mirroring your posture and causing your stomach to flip with anticipation.

You can’t help yourself; you lick your lips and look up at him with half-lidded eyes. “Naked, please. Like, right now.”

“Damn, I gotta do this myself?” Incredulous, he holds his hands up while glancing pointedly down at his underwear, then back at you.

You arch an eyebrow, unfazed.

“Depends.” You shrug. “Do you want to keep them? Because I really will rip them off of you.”

He concedes quickly; he always does. Sighing, he shakes his head and tuts, “Sex-crazed monster,” before pushing his briefs down his thighs. His length hangs heavy between you, but you swear you can feel its perfect ache inside you already.

You have a one-track mind, so you don’t hesitate to reach out and wrap your hand around him. A groan crawls up from the bottom of your chest when you feel the weighted warmth of his cock in your palm. You don’t hold that back, either.

“Fuck,” he sighs, head tilting as far backwards as it’ll go. Unexpectedly, he laughs. He doesn’t catch the quizzical look you shoot him, though he explains himself anyway, “Your hands are so fucking cold, but it feels so good.”

Swiping your thumb over his tip, you spread the pre-cum you find there down his shaft and stroke him slowly. He grows harder with every gentle squeeze, every pass of your fist.

“We’re learning a lot of new shit about each other today.” You lean forward to pepper kisses across his collarbones. The hum of your mouth against his skin when you talk makes his cock twitch in your hand. “You might have a temperature kink and a thing for Winnie the Pooh.”

He snorts, nowhere near serious, “Shut the fuck up.”

“Make me,” you counter smugly, and you do mean it.

Vernon tilts his head forward to stare back at you. You’re already turning into a puddle, but if the look he gives you says anything, it’s that your melting isn’t enough for him. His voice is low and velvet-lined when he responds, “How about I just make you cum instead?”

“That could work, yeah.” You shrug.

He runs the pads of his fingers down each side of your waist to your hips, then back again; and each time he does it, you shiver. Reflexively, your back arches, chest pressing against his.

At this, he smirks, “It could? Maybe?”

“We can workshop it.”

“Or,” Vernon so generously offers, “You can turn around and lay down on your stomach. You know, if that’s sufficient.”

It’s not until you whip around and flop down onto the towel that you realize you never responded with words. Oh well. You figure he gets the point, judging by the quiet laughter you hear as he settles with his knees on either side of your upper thighs.

You don’t know what his next move will be — you don’t care, either, as long as he moves in your direction — so you don’t anticipate his palms flattening against your bare back, applying perfect pressure with his thumbs while he rubs away the soreness at the very base of your torso.

“Oh, shit,” you moan, eyes fluttering shut as the heels of his hands work out the tension in your muscles. “Have you always been good at this?”

You feel his chest brush against your shoulder blades when he hovers over you. Against the nape of your neck, he murmurs, “Nope.”

He kisses down your spine, mouth trailing after his hands as they work their way back down your body.

“Lemme guess — you read an article? Studied up?”

You get a snicker, then an affirmative hum, then another kiss. This time, it’s at the curve of your spine, just above your ass. Seconds later, he’s kneading the doughy flesh of your cheeks until your whole fucking body tingles.

That’s when it hits you:

Under normal circumstances, Vernon would be face-first in your pussy by now. Devouring you in earnest, like he’s starving. He can’t do that now — and you don’t blame him — so he’s making up for what you both view as a loss.

God, you want him.

One hand disappears from you, but you don’t have to guess where it went. You can hear the barely-there hiss of breath through his teeth when he takes his cock in that hand; as well as the very faint shift of his palm while he pumps himself.

“You’re gonna have to navigate, baby. I dunno how sensitive you are like this, what’s too much — any of that, so you need to tell me how you want me to move.”

Suddenly dizzy over how badly you need him, all you can muster is a nod. Vernon must want a verbal acknowledgment, though, because he leans back over you with one hand bearing his weight beside your head.

He kisses your shoulder and urges you, “Please say so if you need to stop or switch it up. Don’t wanna hurt you, sweetheart.”

“I will,” you breathe. “But I can’t even articulate how much I need you inside of me right now, so please — pretty please — fuck me.”

The tip of his nose bumps your temple affectionately. Right beside your ear, he teases, “With a cherry on top?” And it vibrates down your whole goddamn spine.

“Vernon!” You whine, burying your face in the comforter. It’s muffled, but you warn him nonetheless, “Don’t make me come back there.”

“Aish. Calm down, sex monster.”

The instinct to twist around and glare at him over your shoulder is strong, but every feral urge you feel is stronger. So, when he tells you to spread yourself open for him and tilt your hips back, you do so without even a hint of complaining.

With the crown of his cock slipping through your folds, inching towards your entrance, you hear him curse under his breath. Suddenly self-conscious, you finally crane your neck to the side and glance back at him.

“We don’t have to,” you whisper. “If it’s gross and you don’t want to anymore, I get it —”

He balks at your suggestion without letting so much as a beat pass. “None of that, sweetheart; no spiraling. I’m just trying to figure out the logistics of, like… how to survive how good this already feels.”

Struck dumb, all you can muster is a peep, “Oh?”

“Shit, yeah.” His response comes in a low groan. “Can you take a deep breath for me?”

It’s a good call on his part, a suggestion you’re glad to have taken, because the pressure of him entering you is intense enough to knock the wind out of you. Empty lungs likely would’ve led to your untimely demise.

You whimper, already overwhelmed with the combination of pain and pleasure; the best kind of ache. The little, breathy moans must freak him out, however, because his fingertips caress your waist as he checks in: “This okay?”

Your limp arm lifts off the mattress, which you’ve melted fully into, and you form a circle with your index finger and thumb to indicate that you’re okay. The light is bright fucking green; you’ve just maxed out your capacity for speech.

Vernon continues his slow thrust forward, giving you ample time to adjust to his size.

“Oh my god,” he grunts, “This is — shit, I can’t believe we haven’t done this before. If I knew how good you’d feel like this, I wouldn’t have waited around for you to ask me.”

That hits like a truck.

He was waiting on you.

You spent months convincing yourself that he’d need to be convinced, and chickening out before you could raise the idea. Months, and months, and months, of craving him during your werewolf transformation; wasting away over a shitty assumption that Vernon is anything like the people you’ve been with before.

Christ.

His credit for putting up with you is long overdue.

Too tongue-tied to speak any of that out loud, you settle for a summary that you hope conveys the message: “I love you so fucking much.”

Mindful of how deep it will push him into your cunt, he leans down over you carefully. Weight balanced on his knees and forearms, he envelopes you in his body heat, trails kisses across your shoulder, and echoes your words back at you between each one.

“Is this too much?” He whispers, rolling his hips slowly.

You feel him everywhere, with every drag of his cock along your walls; and you can’t tell where that throbbing sensation is coming from, him or you.

You shake your head and sigh, “‘s perfect. You’re perfect.”

Like he knows it’ll unravel you, his large hand comes to rest over the back of yours. His fingers slip through the spaces between and squeeze you much more gently than the vice grip you hold on the bedding below you. He keeps holding you — just like this — through every movement.

The sensation of being this surrounded, this loved, this whole crashes over you like a wave and knocks you off balance.

“I’m so close,” you pant, voice as ragged as your breathing. There’s nothing that he isn’t already giving you with every deep, deliberate thrust into your heat; but you beg nonetheless, “Please, please, please —”

His speed doesn’t increase, but the intensity does. The smack of his hips colliding with your ass does, too, and you feel it reverberating in your bones. Buried as far inside of you as he can be, cock tip kissing your cervix with every high tide, length rolling across your g-spot with every low.

You cum so hard — so completely, invoking every single muscle you have — that you forget how to breathe. With a choked-out gasp, you squeeze your eyes shut and let your orgasm devastate you.

“Fuck!”

Vernon gets caught up in the current, too, grinding desperately against you until he’s swept up in your wake. You feel him twitch inside you as his release floods, leaving you so lost in his warmth that you feel boneless underneath him.

His face winds up hidden in the crook of your neck, somewhere amidst the baby hairs that cling to the sheen of your sweat. You feel his lips fluttering against your skin when he laughs, “Oh…my god.”

“Mmphf.” You nod weakly in agreement. Beyond blissed, your body still tingles too much to move.

Slurring, you add, “‘s good. ‘s really…”

The rest of that thought dissolves into something between a moan and a yawn.

Just as tired, Vernon pats your ass cheek affectionately and mumbles, “Well said. No notes.”

You tilt your head far enough to free your face from the sheets. When you do, you find your boyfriend fighting a losing battle to keep his eyes open. In the rare seconds he can, he looks back at you in a daze that seems even more adoring than it does fuck-drunk.

“I think I need to hibernate now,” you announce. “Think you just fucked me so well that I need to take a sabbatical.”

He counter-offers, “Shower first, then sabbatical?”

You wiggle so that you can pull your joint hands to your mouth. You can’t kiss him properly while he’s laid out on top of you, but you can press your lips to the back of his hand and hope he feels how much of you that you pour into it.

“Okay, but, like…. who’s carrying who?”

#j reads.#j’s favs.#vernon rec.#hi jade<3 #JADE IM ACTUALLY GONNA #WHEDJDSGJKHGFG WAIT WAIT WAIT Wait WAIT #this hits. almost too specifically rn. i am going THROUGH IT. i HURT. and this has healed my soul in ways i didn't know i needed #no like. help tho. because. bc this is SOOOO vernon. you wrote him so perfectly i'm actually going insane rn I'M GOING INSANE #he's so unserious and yet also just the sweetest of sweethearts oh god. oh i'm feeling so deeply delusional rn #this whole thing was sooooo immaculate i can't even. do words rn wait. wait wait wait #because listen IT'S SO FUNNY. YOU'RE HILARIOUS ACTUALLY but HELLO???? IT WAS SO HOT TOO AND V V MELTY #everything was just sooooo perfectly measured oh my god i need him in ways that i cannot explain nor justify FUCK #i want this exact vernon in my bed RIGHT THIS SECOND. give him TO ME.#pls i'm gonna be thinking about this for weeks. this is a 'come back to on a weekly basis' kinda fic now. holy MOLY.#JADE your mind. i love u. i love u i love u i love u.

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ventique18 · 6 months ago

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IDIA MADE AN AMV TO EXPLAIN HIS PLAN TO YUU AND FRIENDS IU'M FUCKING DYING

HE EVEN HAS A GOD DAMN NARRATION OMFG

"Ahh~ Only good things are happening lately~ As if we're in a dream~"

"Eh. It's actually just a dream tho."

"Hello everyone trapped in this empty world of dreams."

"This is Idia Shroud."

"So today, I will explain the strategy to beat:

"I BUILT A DREAM WORLD USING CHEAT-LEVEL MAGIC AS THE MOST EVIL LAST BOSS MAGE MALLEUS DRACONIA"

"The magical domain that Malleus created is similar to a server running a huge MMORPG."

"That means everyone's dreams are ran individually. Malleus and his clones are keeping an eye on the server."

"In other words, Malleus is the server admin."

"And his clones crack down on users who commit violations like in online games."

"Malleus is the game master who has the authority to manage the entire server."

"HE REALLY IS A DEMON LORD WHO RULES THE WORLD"

"Under his control, we have no chance of winning..."

"HOWEVER..!"

"With the super geek hacker group STYX using ORTHO ATTACK, the server source code has been analyzed."

"So using this, we're building cheating tools [WARNING: DO NOT DO THIS IN ACTUAL GAMES]"

"So using these cheating tools, the administrative rights to my dream can be transferred to me."

"Then I'll lure Malleus into my dream where I can get rid of that god damned invincibility!"

I CAN'T FUCKING TAKE THIS OH MY GOD

"-- Well, it sounds like a perfect strategy but... The truth is there's just a few things about this cheating tool..."

"WHAT IF THE SERVER ADMIN FINDS OUT ABOUT THIS DURING DEVELOPMENT?"

"THEN,"

"GAME OVER."

"BUT BUT BUT--"

"The thing is, even though he's using autonomous clones to monitor each dream, it still shouldn't be easy to control the dreams of 20000 PEOPLE in Sage island."

"If problems turn up everywhere, he'll have to deal with them all!"

"Sooooo..."

"While I'm developing the cheat tool, I want you all to distract Malleus!"

"I want you all to gather party members to defeat the Demon King!"

"Once everyone's awake, I'll send out invitations to my own dream."

"Then I'll lure Malleus into my dream... THEN TURN ON THE CHEAT TOOL! As planned, Malleus' invincibility will disappear,"

"Then everyone will accept the invitation and gather into my dream!"

"THEN EVERYONE BEATS HIM UP"

"Then Malleus will have to take down his magic AND EVERYONE WILL BE FREE!"

"If you liked this 3-minute video, don't forget to leave a like!"

I'M GONNA FUCKING CRY THIS IS INSANE OMFG KASDJLKLDASLMASD

#twisted wonderland #ventique rambles #twst book 7 spoilers #malleus draconia #idia shroud

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muppetebbtide · 8 months ago

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discworld dashboard simulator

❓ ankhmorporkpolls

🧙🏻 blackalisstan

This is like that tsortian guy who had to pick between goddesses and started a war and then died. Or like paying the assassin's guild to kill you

🔪 treefroghousealumni follow

*inhume

🧙🏻 blackalisstan

piss off you posh knob

🍴 priestessofanoia

tbf I don't think the watch is wasting its time on this blue hellsite so ur probably safe there. the POSTMASTER however...

#sometimes I think only bloody stupid johnson could have come up with this fucking site

10,435 notes

🪻watchofficial follow

ALL'S WELL!

🍴 priestessofanoia

nvm lmao 😭

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☕ klatchmeifyoucan follow

#ppl on here are actually sooooo ankh morpork centric it's insane #'EVERYONE knows webblethorpe the unconscious' who??? why the fuck should I??? #like HELLO there's other places on the disc? #and klatch is NICER like omg

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unseenuniconfessions reblogged:

🦧 unseenuniversitylibrary

Ook

#SO TRUE KING

100,034 notes

Anonymous asked:

Is lord vetinari gay

🪄ramtopswitches answered:

Why would you ask us, a ramtops witches blog, this

50,432 notes

🔮 uucompetitiveeatingchamp follow

CALLOUT: @ /spanglersal (deactivated)

• started a Kickstarter to crowdfund a click of Captain Vimes & Errol then disappeared with the money and has gone completely ghost on everyone

• apparently stole over 100k

• cringe

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Anonymous asked:

Blessings be upon this askbox

🌷queen-of-lancre answered:

I don't know if this is nanny pretending to be granny, or if it's actually granny, and I think I'm too scared to find out

435 notes

cmot-dibbler-enterprises sponsored

SAUSAGES INNA BUN ‼️‼️‼️‼️🌭🌭🌭🌭

🏚️ throwingshades

Gonna go skating on the frozen river ankh!!

💀 nojusticejustus

HAVE FUN

🏚️ throwingshades

Thanks man!

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✉️ ampostofficeofficial follow

🐸 bursaaaaaaaaar

is. is the post office posting crab rave bc reacher gilt just turned up dead

7013 notes

🧳 agateantravels follow

The Crumley's Hogswatch grotto is being advertised again but somehow I just don't think they can top last year's... like idk where they got the budget from but the real pigs?? CRAZY. my little sister asked for a pony and there was just one in the house when we got back like?? My mum was PISSED but yes talk abt Hogswatch magic. Still wonder how they pulled it off

345 notes

💖 angelofmusic

It's literally SO unfunny to be making jokes about the Opera Ghost when you all KNOW I saw so many of my friends DIE last year??? I literally have so much PTSD from it... like it's so insensitive you're all actually the WORST

#vent #don't rb #some of you will say ANYTHING for a cheap laugh :(

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🐊 genuablogging

My dealer: got some straight gas 🔥😛 this strain is called “narrative causality” 😳 you’ll be zonked out of your gourd 💯

Me: yeah whatever. I don’t feel shit.

5 minutes later: dude I swear I just saw the Duc turn into a frog

My buddy Mrs Pleasant, pacing: Lilith de Tempscire is lying to us

456 notes

#no idea if this is even funny. whatever! I had fun!#discworld #terry pratchett #gnu terry pratchett #witches abroad #going postal #hogfather #maskerade #tumblr simulator #dashboard simulator #my post #tag edit: I did not realise today was the anniversary of Terry's passing... but it certainly serves as a tribute!? gnu ledge

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baelavelaryon · 1 month ago

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a thing about the witcher books's perception that drives me insane is that you'll have people who've straight up never read them saying "oh aren't they super problematic tho???" based on the testimony of people who ALSO haven't read them but heard from someone who read them and didn't like them that they're bad.

like i'll use the example that I had before i read the books: there's a scene in blood of elves where ciri is like "the girls at school told me virgins can't do magic! i'm bad at magic because i'm a virgin! i'm gonna lose my virginity [at 13]" and yeah ok if you phrase it like that with zero context it sounds insane.

but the CONTEXT IS. ciri has just fumbled her crush, she's failing magic class, the other girls hate her because she's getting extra attention from the teachers, and her mean teacher mum (who's literally the hottest woman alive) keeps on calling her "ugly one". she's in a CRISIS and decides to link all of her self esteem issues into one thing that she can fix!!!

and literally the next line is yennefer saying "ok look if you want to have sex i won't stop you,, even though you're too young imo. but where the hell have you gotten this "virgins can't do magic" bs because i have a master's degree in sorcery (and didn't have sex until my 20s) and it's news to me!!"

but then you'll have people go "In the Witcher is sooooo misogynistic the lore says virgins can't do magic" like that wasn't textually folklore that was complete rubbish.

#cytherea.txt #anyway sorry I WARNED YOU GUYS THAT I'D BE YAPPING!!!!#the witcher books have Problems there is stuff that is Definitely written by an old white man #but genuinely the women are written pretty well and ciri exploring her sexuality is actually a really crucial part of the story #which you can say ew to but it's not Problematic it's literally her coming of age story

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mspaint-flower · 1 year ago

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OH MYGOOGOFDDHDHJKGHEHJGKJKEG MY HEART STOPPED FOR LIKE A MERE SECONDF HEL;P OH MY GOD

finished ghost type Flower fanart! :3

Design by @mspaint-flower !! :3

#reblog #vflower #my designs #art for me #I'M LOSING IT OH MY GODDDDHJNHSEFIJEKHHEKIHTE #OH MY GOD #JISY(/EY(/&Y/(RY/()£/T)£/)(£%T #I AKM GOING INSANE OH MY GOD #THANK YOU???????SO MUCH???? WHAT #THIS LOOKS LIKE YOU TOOK 10 YEARS WHAT THEW HELL 😭😭😭OMFG #AUGHKJEHGHEYGTIYTY£()T/(£T/£))T()£/)T(YT(OYIOGHGOKLEHGKE #I HAVE NO WORDS MY HEART IS STILL TRYING TO CATCH UP FROM THAT HMKS;HGJKEHGKJHEKJGE??????#I LOVE YOUR ART STYL ESO MUCH.............IT LOOKS SO EATABLE 😭💥#i am gonna EXPLODE #THE VIDEO TOO??????? OH MY GOD THE EFFORT??!?!??^=??^=?^?^?^#im so normal i am so NORMAL!#IM SOOOOO NORMAL #ASDFGHJKLòàù #OUGH.............?=)(ET)=£E))OOT£OE£ITHJKIE£JHTINK #THANK YOU SO MUCH I LEGIT DONT KNOW HOW TO THANK YOU ENOUGH 😭😭💥#THIS IS SUCH A MASTERPIECE I WILL PRINT IT 30 TIMES AND EAT IT #im so normal #sjgnuktdryh5riut8hiyhEYHHEGHTE #OGH

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goldfades · 7 months ago

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Paige nsfw hcs pls

─ warnings | NSFW under the cut! read at your own discretion!

─ taglist | @xocherishxo @iienstein @yazmunson @euphternal and here's a link to my taglist if anyone would like to join!!

─ ev's notes | the long awaited nsfw headcanons for paigey, i finally got the motivation to write it after i kept reading the INSANE smut yall keep writing (keep it up im lovin it) also this is such a mess, this is just rambling and not organized whatsoever, but wtv i hope yall enjoyed :)

woo, where do i even begin?

let's begin with the obvious, paige is a TOP, i can't stress this enough

i genuinely can't see anyone topping her she's just .... a TOP

but that doesn't mean she won't let you take the reigns every once in awhile, esp after a bad game/tiring practice because everyone once to be taken care of sometimes

i'm def not the first person to say this and certainly will not be the last but STRAP GAME GOES SOOOOO HARD

i feel like at first she's gonna be weirded out cus like... she likes only girls for a reason??? and she has her mouth and fingers??? why would she need a piece of plastic to make her girl feel good???

but the first time y'all try it, she's hooked

she forgets ab her hands after that

jk but like

yeah she's HOOKED

she gets really into it LOL, def can imagine her calling the strap her dick

oh and she fucks HARDDDD like, no room to breathe or anything

like you'll be gasping for air after and she'll be super duper proud

i read this one fic with like the dual ended one (i didn't even know that existed) and then i was like yep, yes this is the oneee

with positions, i can't see her doing anything more than like missionary (cus she loves to see your pretty face) and like from the back

but as soon as she discovers riding, it's OVERRRRR for you

she's making you ride her strap anytime she can, cus she loves it

she has her hands on your hips as she's guiding you and she LOVES IT so fucking much, like the power she has over you makes her go feral

oh and do not get me started on sucking her strap, cus again she loves the power she holds over you

she has your hair in a ponytail and the more you get comfortable with the whole thing, she WILL make you gag

she acts like it's her dick (yeah i know we covered that) but like esp when you're sucking her strap, she will just dirty talk u the entire time

"you like my dick, pretty girl? like gagging on my dick?" cus yeah, u do

oh and yes, she does have breeding kink

it breaks her heart that she can't get you pregnant 😪

but she sure as hell will pretend to!!!!!

will 100% bend you over and just yap about getting you pregnant

also if she's fucking you in missionary, she expects you to look at her the entire time

so if you turn away, she will grab your face and keep you looking straight at her

FUCK IDK WHY THAT'S SO HOT

paige is a D1 yapper i fear, and that would 10000% seep into the bedroom LMAO

mostly praise cus babygirl would feel really bad but when she gets into, she GETS into it

like she will call you her slut as she's about cum

that post-nut clarity goes hard the first time tho cus she's like no way i called my gf a dirty fucking slut 😭😭 she sits with her thoughts for a good 10 minutes trying to recollect herself

she is a munch for sure, like she will eat you out for hours and hours on end (not an exaggeration btw)

but she LOVES when you give back

it makes her go fucking feral when she sees you eating her out, like yessssssssssssss

she has to close her eyes bc if she keeps looking at your face, she WILL cum

she has a bad hair pulling problem, like she will grip your hair so hard your head will hurt after

it's apart of the appeal tho 🎀

her fav spot to get absolutely ate is her gaming chair cus like, she needs you in between her legs giving her support to get that victory royale 💯💯💯

she hates when she gets ass or tits bc she genuinely cannot pick

it depends on the day bc they're both great, she will never pick one

i feel like she's definitely thought ab fucking you in public but she can't risk it

SHES A D1 ATHLETE !!

the only time yall did was in a bathroom at an event and it was SOOO bad afterwards cus everyone could tell

you had to pretend like you didn't get your brains fucked out and paige had to pretend she didn't DO the fucking

but lowkey she enjoyed it a lot, but would she do it again?

maybe, a solid maybe (with the right motivation)

okay but like ....

she def has fingered u while the girls are over cus like, she was in a silly mood?

you just looked too fucking good, she had to

but thank god no one noticed (at least to yalls knowledge...)

she's a horny fuck ARGUE WITH THE WALL

she will get turned on by anything you do, like homegirl is just sooooo down bad for you

you could be applying chapstick and paige will be like "we need to fuck, now."

paige's aftercare is just giving you water and cuddling with you for 10 mis while scrolling on tiktok and then gets up to play fortnite with kk

she literally is the tiktok where it's like "after he rearranges my organs he goes and plays fortnite" i hope yall know what i'm talking about

but you don't mind ofc cus she makes you sit on her lap while playing

but then turns into another round cus shes a horny fuck

paige is all for hickies on YOU but she gets pissed when you give her a hickey cus she's like people are gonna see

like she's the only one who has to deal with the public 🙄🙄🙄

but she loves marking you EVERYWHERE, esp on your collarbone like it's so sexy

oh and god bless you in the summer, the ones on your thighs are getting AIRED OUT bc paige does not care

↳ make sure to check out my navigation or masterlist if you enjoyed! any interaction is greatly appreciated !

↳ thank you for reading all the way through, as always ♡

#wcbb x reader #wcbb #ncaaw #uconn huskies #ncaa wbb #women's college basketball #paige buckets #paige bueckers x reader #paige bueckers #paige x reader #paige bueckers fanfiction #paige bueckers smut #paige bueckers x oc #paige bueckers headcannons #paige bueckers fic #uconn wbb

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maraczeks · 2 years ago

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newsroom rw thread pt 8

#jan 9 2023 #mackenzie mchale came along :( i cant believe we have a face to macs ex likekejdjfjfjfncnk i'm gonna throw up we know what wills imagining #reese villainizung mackenzie is MY villain story those three walking down tgt #i hate will and charlie teaming up against mac :( mac and her rant jsnndnsjd i love her shes so please #i loveeee her inflections please mac is so pre opus their gazing at each other im gonna throw up and her giving up for will wahhh #gosshhhhh and they way they all jump onto each other's argument like defend each other i mean the way macs now all for her 22 1/2 minutes :(#i love kenzie sloan bar conversations #the beginning of her punishment :(((((( my babyyyy my baby #upset mac IN YIUR FACE NANCY GRACE i adore her war on drugs a failure i know how it feels :(((#also i don't think she's wearing a bra this ep bye #mac looking at will in please god get me out of here PLEASE #/?3??:?:!;$:?;):!;!;!:!;!3!/!/?/?3?:?/?:?4?:):)#):):)/):):):$:&/$;$;$2 WE COULD OURSELVES COMMIT MURFER ON OUR AIR IN YOUR FACE NANCT GRACE #i'm sooooo obsessed with mac and will sitting next to each other and across from each other #mac and willl sarah lawrence ethical conundrums :(((( meow meow oh my god #are you lying to me right now #SHES INSANE WITH HER LIP BITING SHES ACTUALLY INSANE #i'm no longer required to live up to your standards oh. wills concerns are my concerns STOP also is mac b!t ching at you not as much as she #should #I CHEATED ON WILL WITH YOU I WORK THIRTY FEET FROM THE LIFE I COULDVE HAD IF I HADNT BEEN SO STUPID #why does will always look good like every outfit looks good on him it makes me sick mac too actually i feel sick like the hottest couple eve #the trick is forgiving mackenzie 😭😭😭 you're hurting mackenzie I KNOW THAT OKAY SYOU SICK SICK MAN #the whole punishing mac thing hurts tsoo bad god #I LOVE SLOAN SO MUCH every time she alms she makes me wanna cry #literally cant believe sorkin for putting brian and will and mac tgt #PLS THE POWER GOJNG OUT\>|!~(<3 #i love her voice soooo much #shaking screaming i cant wait for settle down i will not settle down oh unhinged mac i missed you SO MUCH the tension btwn brian wills mac #wait redundancies being cut is soooo 20 hours in america pls #she's literally 🧍‍♀️ I CANNTTTYT THIS MONOLOGUE ISS OOOOOOO SHES SO PRECIOUS AND HNHINGED

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blackknight-kai · 14 days ago

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This is gonna sound insane but HEAR ME OUT—

Have you ever heard of the term of a 'womb tattoo' (WT) ? It's basically like a tattoo/sigil that is placed over where the womb would be (on the skin itself) and it would have like, different spell properties depending on the type of tattoo/sigil that was inked

What if, WHAT IF— Sun Wukong knows the basic of WT magic and have been secretly planning to place one on his beloved? (With consent, of course)

I'd honestly think he'd enjoyed seeing how his beloved would look so flushed - sweat dribbling down their skin, their breaths short and quick and just how often they would palm at their lower abdomen; the tattoo/sigil from THE Sun Wukong himself is thrumming with want, with need for any speck of attention the simian demon would throw their way.

I'm so insane actually. Perhaps this year was a good year for monkeys all around

(I’m really tired and wrote this before sleep so I hope this came out okaaaaay)

You have an awesome idea here! Wukong wanting to share something like this with his beloved? Absolutely! This COULD go into yandere territory but I wont go there since it can ALSO go into consenting territory especially if reader is okay with it. Sun Wukong wouldn’t MAKE them get it but them being willing? Awesome.

N.S.F.W Under the cut - 2 parter in here :)

Wukong brings it up one night, at first it’s kinda playful but definitely devolves into a slightly serious conversation. I mean he doesnt wanna force you or make you uncomfortable. PLUS it’s not like it has to happen NOW. But he wants to make sure you know what youre getting into. Because this could be A LOT. Especially for someone attached to HIM.

When you do agree to it he’s going to be sooooo stoked and excited. Will definitely prepare what he can for it and then maybe set a day specifically for getting it on you. No matter how long the actual spell takes most likely he just wants to have some fun and make it a nice playful comfy thing, maybe he takes you apart bit by bit and then puts you back together before putting it on you while youre nice and relaxed. Or maybe in the middle of your orgasm he casts the spell?

Either way, you’re in for a ride after. See, the spell doesnt work for just ANYONE. Most womb spells seem to showcase that “any man” will do. Not for Wukong. Nope. He’s gonna make sure that the only way this thing reacts is because of HIM. Thing is, Wukong is pretty damn strong right? Powerful. So it’s only fair that his mark is as well. You’re going to be a MESS so often it’s not even funny. You KNEW he was attracted to you, duh you sleep together all the time, but to THIS extent?

Having HIS attention is NOT for the weak or someone who doesnt want to put up with his shit. Because as a King he has WANTS and he has DEMANDS. I’ve said it many times at this point, Sun Wukong DEMANDS your pleasure. It is HIS. His right, his privilege. He WILL get it.

It’s going to get to a point where you could be doing mundane things and then all of a sudden the mark is going off and youre practically bowled over by the sudden sensation. He’s off doing King stuff? Doesn’t matter. Good luck getting anything done that day because god forbid he’s bored at a celestial court meeting or something, he is going to fantasize about you through the entire thing making your mark go fucking nuts. You’re going to be dripping and trembling, sweating and struggling to stand for hours. Trying to touch yourself? Good luck, unless you pass out this isn’t gonna stop.

He’s watching you from across the room full of people? His eyes traveling up and down your body and taking in those curves and features he so loves? Your pussy is going to be woke the fuck up and when he smells your slick not only is he going to feel prideful about it, he’s going to make it so much worse. Thinking about all the filthy things he could do to you right there and now.

Wukong brushes his tail across your ass? It’s like little fireworks of pleasure are set off on your skin where it touched you, I hope you learn how to stop yourself from moaning on a dime because he was definitely thinking about something naughty when he did it and now your clenching around NOTHING but needing to be filled with him.

ALSO NEW THOUGHT (Lucky you LOL two thoughts for 1). Actually…..I hope you dont mind if I go that direction instead of an established relationship one….Cuz thats where this is taking me now.

General Properties

- [ ] Only reacts to Sun Wukong and NO other.

- [ ] Normally you’d have to be within a certain distance of the person for the tattoo to react to their dirty thoughts about you, but Wukong? AHAHAHA yeah. Dude could be off doing fuck knows what however far away and your tattoo will react to him thinking nasty things about you.

- [ ] Him looking at you with lustful eyes? Or maybe he brushes by you in a certain way? This is gonna set off the tattoo too.

- [ ] The tattoo can react in various levels depending on what HE has going on. Generally he likes you to simmer. Sweat a little. Edge you all day. Likes to remind you of him as you go about your day.

- [ ] The reaction is basically as if a low level vibrator is inside you, getting turned on higher and higher depending on what he’s doing/thinking and for how long. It’s gonna feel like a gentle massage of your clit along with it, not enough USUALLY to make you come but you are going to be FEELING it.

- [ ] Another fun thing, if he touches himself in a sexual way - Example strokes his cock, your pussy reacts as though hes fucking it. Hope you’re ready for THAT in the middle of a random Tuesday.

- [ ] A later addition to the mark will be where you cant orgasm without tasting or taking in his seed through your pussy. He’s gone for a few days and wants you to be panting and so damn needy for him when he comes home, as though youre heat.

While was writing this as an established relationship, I also had the thought of Reader being his bride to be - and consenting to get the mark. But they haven’t consummated the relationship since they aren’t married yet, and the effects and stuff I list out above would be AMAZING.

When you found out that you were going to be marrying someone you HADNT expected it to be THE Monkey King, Great Sage Equal To Heaven and Earth himself, Sun Wukong. You’d met him several times, each time was a pleasant experience. He was oddly charming, cheeky, and mischievous of course. You laughed at his little pranks and trickery, listened to his captivating stories. It seemed like when you guys were in the same space he would eventually seek you out, enjoying your company for a little while before one of his pranks caught up to him and he had to make a quick exit.

You found him VERY attractive in a lot of ways. Be it his handsome face and that roguish smirk he does or how intelligent he clearly is underneath all that arrogance. His strength and power is also something that captures your attention both physical and mental. While his temper could use some work at times you find him endearing. The fact that he takes his time to come over and say hi to you, make you laugh, and spend time with you, even asking about you makes you feel as though he see’s you. Since he doesnt generally bother with things like that too much from what you can tell.

You weren’t 100% certain but you thought he was flirting with you a lot of the time. Your cheeks turning red and his smile growing a little wider as though he’s pleased with himself at your reaction. Tension, or at least you HOPED it’s mutual, brews between you two every time youre in the same space. Sometimes, before he makes his way over to you, you can feel his eyes on you from across the way. Upon looking, there he is. Wukong will give you a little wave with either his hand or even his cheeky tail before returning to whatever conversation or thing he was doing, but those eyes of his will wander back periodically.

When the offer of marriage came well….you were a little shocked to say the least. The thing was, it wasn’t an immediate marriage but rather, he was to court you for a time with the intention of marriage at the end of it. You would essentially be his bride to be but with a brief period of time, about a year, where he would spend time with you and the two of you get to know each other more. Honestly, you thought it was something he would NEVER do. Between the stories about him or his wild nature. You figured either he would never ‘settle’ down or he’d marry right away, not wanting to go through the hassle when he would be marrying them anyway.

Accepting the offer was easy. Honestly, you were intrigued by him and definitely had a huge fat crush on him. After spending a few outings with him you come to realize you could absolutely fall in love with him too. A few months into the courtship the tension between the two of you is HIGH. There have been kisses, but Wukong always stops them before they get too heated. Light lingering touches but always in respectable places. It’s maddening. But from what he explained to you, he wanted to make sure the two of you matched well. That YOU know and understand him before fully committing to him, because as he’s said, once you’re his there wont be any going back. He hadnt said it in a menacing way or anything, but you can tell that he was serious. About you and this relationship, that for him, this is IT.

By your third month of courtship though Wukong springs something on you. He assures you that he can remove it if it’s something that becomes an issue or you decide not to move forward with the relationship.

A womb tattoo.

He allows you a little time to think about it, after covering all the specifics. You’re nervous at first, as you haven’t really had a sexual encounter with him as of yet. Not that you didn’t WANT to, but again he has been keeping things clean between the two of you aside from a few sexually charged flirtatious remarks sprinkled here or there. But regardless of wherever you are his eyes always tell you how much he wants you too. A lot of the time when you separate for the day you’re left wanting….fantasizing about what could he possibly be thinking about.

Eventually, you agree. Mainly because he doesnt pressure you about it. It’s almost like he never asked or brought it up. The way his eyes light up and he takes a moment to process your acceptance though tells you how genuinely excited he is about the idea. His tail swishes and flicks almost erratically behind him as he double checks with you before he sets a day for you two to begin the process for the tattoo.

You’d both decided to start easy, something simple. The tattoo itself, as he had explained, isnt ink and it wont show up unless he messes with the spell itself. But the spell will attach itself to your core and will ONLY react to HIM. This way, no other would accidentally activate it. Not wanting to overwhelm you at first, he sets the spell to only react when he’s looking at you with a lust full gaze. You’re nervous as he has you lie down, your clothes on but you do have to adjust them just enough to reveal your hips and the space your uterus sits under your skin. He hadnt wanted you to undress fully, this way he can enjoy you on your wedding night.

Wukong applies the spell and its a strange sensation, it doesnt hurt but its intense. When hes done he soothes you and tells you that you’ve done well. He tells you that the spell will activate by the time you see him next, this way your body has time to adjust to it.

You thought you were prepared. You were not.

The next time you see him you two aren’t alone but as his familiar eyes land on you, the hair on the back your neck stands up and then your body goes ridged as a tingling sensation starts up inside you body. It’s gentle, but it causes you to gasp and flush a little as your pelvic muscles contract at the sudden soft vibrating that is pulsing in your pussy. You KNOW nothing is in you, this must be the spells doing. You watch Wukong, having to lean over and support yourself with the back of a chair as his eyes roam up and down your body slowly. Once his eyes lock on to yours and he see’s your face he smirks wide and slow. His eye brow raises slowly though, a look of ‘Still okay?’ Comes across his expression and you nod a little shyly. Feeling embarrassed but also…excited. The tattoo isn’t overwhelming, more like a light gentle touch keeping you awake but not enough to make you desperate. At least at first.

This continues for a few weeks, the strange but pleasant buzzing sensation inside you whenever he’s around. It’s tantalizing and you find yourself desperate to return home and bring yourself to orgasm every time you end up spending hours with him. It’s almost constant in a way you weren’t prepared for but definitely dont mind. Especially when he knowingly teases you or leans in and whispers in your ear telling you how pretty your red cheeks are. Or asking you why youre squirming so much with a knowing grin on his face.

When he asks if he can adjust the spell, letting you know what additions he’d like to make, you agree. The little secret between the two of you is thrilling and you truly want to discover more with him. This time the additions will include if he’s thinking about you and if he touches you with intention. What he only hinted at though was how the intensity was going to increase. He also told you that he was leaving something up for a surprise.

After he adjusts the spell, that night when it finally settles, you gasp awake. Your body is sweaty and you’ve slicked up enough that your underwear is damp. The once soft tingling sensation is now an intense direct feeling. It’s not truly enough to make you orgasm but it’s enough to make you sweat and squirm. Your clit is swollen and your entrance pulses with need and you genuinely cannot stop yourself from immediately reaching down to bring yourself to ecstasy. From the feeling, this had been going on for some time before you woke. Meaning Wukong has been thinking about you. The thought makes you shiver with excitement and flattery. Happy that his thoughts are currently consumed with you.

From here it’s a little more difficult to remain passive. Sometimes you can be spending time with your friends or completing a chore for the day when the buzzing starts up. It makes you weak in the knees and you have to do your best not to react too much. When he’s around and watching you it’s even harder. You know he sees how warm you are, the sweat starting to bead on your skin, and the slight tremor you have every so often. Your speech is breathier too.

Wukong clearly enjoys seeing you like this. His tail always swishing and his face while usually showing a smirk sometimes remains stoic. But his eyes. His eyes watch you with such intense desire and pride that it makes you almost want to beg him to touch you. He seems to relish in the fact that he can make you so needy that you have to press on your abdomen or cross your legs tightly as you sit down. His kisses now are always a little more on the heated side, but he still never lets them get TOO heated. You can see in his expression as he pulls back that he is testing his own patience. He whispers to you how delicious you smell, that he can smell you from across the way and he cant wait to finally drink from its source after youre married.

One night, not too long after the new addition was added to the spell youre lying in bed, getting ready to sleep when that now familiar tingling starts up inside you. Since youre alone you relax back and allow yourself to sigh at the pleasant buzz. That is, until it feels like something thick and blunt is making its way inside you.

Your eyes widen and you gasp, arching your back and spreading your legs unconsciously as the invisible object slowly starts to thrust in and out of you. A little panicked you reach down and under your clothes, a moan forcing its way out of your throat at the continued stimulation. Your hole is empty and definitely NOT being stretched open by anything but your fingers. The ghost sensation of something inside you is so visceral, so real though, and your body jerks and thrums as the object moves faster, hitting inside you just a little rougher too. Your whole body comes alive and it feels like not just your clit and pussy are are pulsing with need, but so are your nipples and all the little pleasure spots on your body.

You cant catch your breath and involuntarily our hips move, chasing the ghost sensation as you touch yourself. You’re so wet that the slick sound of your fingers dipping inside you makes you shudder and you quickly realize that THIS was the surprise Wukong had added. How he’s making you feel this way you dont know, but you DO know he’s thinking about you, heavily. Your orgasm comes so suddenly that you cry out and clamp down on your own fingers. The blunt object doesnt stop moving though, fucking you through your orgasm until youre shaking and near tears. It seems to move faster and faster, losing its own rhythm until finally it slams in and then stills.

You lie there panting, body sweaty and your legs still trembling as you finally are allowed to come down from your high. The tingling slowly dissipates to a low gentle feeling until it’s gone. Leaving you oddly satisfied and definitely curious.

When you pluck up the courage to ask him about it, Wukong gives you the biggest shit eating grin you’ve ever seen, his fangs on display. He first asks you if you liked it, which you nod with a little hesitation, mainly due to it being such a new thing. Your Monkey King then tells you that what you experienced was him fucking his fist while thinking about you. That as he touched himself your body was reacting accordingly, as though his cock was deep inside you instead of his hand.

The knowledge sets your body on fire and it sets his mind wondering too. You let out a little whimper as the tingling sensation comes back in full force, immediately ramping up your lust and desire. He reacts to your sounds and panting breath accordingly too, which doesnt help your situation. The kiss he gives you that day is the filthiest one you’ve received so far, and when you orgasm on nothing, not even a touch, Wukong looks at you like you’ve given him the stars & moon as a gift.

Your wedding day to him cant come any faster. Because while you enjoy this little secret game the two of you have been playing, enjoy feeling the ghost of his cock fuck into periodically when he cant contain himself and has to fuck his own fist….It’s not enough. You want to feel his warmth. Feel his claws digging into your skin as he pounds into you. His fangs marking you and his release filling you until he has nothing left.

- [ ] Once you guys get married this gets even worse (better). Especially with your permission of course, but he is going to fuck his fist when he KNOW’s youre doing things JUST so you have to try to fight to stay on your feet and not react.

- [ ] He’s going to be a major tease 24/7 since he doesnt ever stop thinking about you. Never stops wanting you.

- [ ] When he adds the addition about ‘can only come when you taste or receive his seed’??? Yeah good luck. Because he is going to edge the HELL out of you.

- [ ] He wont do it all the time dont worry, he does want to be inside you and fuck you just as much as he wants to watch you squirm for him.

- [ ] The cum thing though, let’s say hes been edging you for AGES. You’re in public and you NEED to orgasm. BADLY. You’re dripping and so fucking desperate for it. If he’s feeling nice (and you beg him so pretty for it), he will pull you to the side and maybe let you suckle his cock to taste his precum so you can orgasm finally. Or he will shove his hand down his pants and get it for you that way, sticking his wet fingers in your mouth since you’d gotten him so worked up. OR he will let you suck him off fully or will cum in your mouth, just the head of his dick past your lips while he strokes himself to you touching yourself.

- [ ] He may add or remove some stuff depending on what is too much or maybe you need a break - he’s good to you!

- [ ] If you’d like to experience a heat when he goes into a rut? Spell can take care of that.

- [ ] Extra fertility? He’s got you with the spell.

- [ ] Extra stamina or extra sensitivity? He can make that happen too.

- [ ] You being so turned on for him while he watches you squirm, waiting for you to reach your breaking point or begging point is something he will NEVER get tired of.

- [ ] You do have a safe word/phrase. This way, if you’re in public and he’s activating the spell around people, which he usually does because watching you and smelling you get so needy for him in secret is thrilling as fuck and turns him on, he doesn’t accidentally push you too far.

- [ ] That said, would he love watching you try to stifle an orgasm? Yeah. But only when he’s next to you so he can pull you into him and you can moan against him - your sounds muffled because those are FOR HIM.

- [ ] You boost his ego astronomically because of this spell, not only with your trust in him but because you WANT him just as much genuinely and not just because of the spell.

#black myth wukong #sun wukong x reader #black myth wukong x reader #bk kai writes #This ran away from me LOL #Good idea anon

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