#i'm actually going nuts!

[athousandbyeol]

keep up the thamepo [episode 8]

this episode easily became my favourite episode after episode 1. the flavours are beautifully mixed and I love how everything ties together into a wonderful and coherent dish.

i was fearful of the possibility of them dragging the jun-thame-po drama until the end of the episode, but I'm glad they resolved it at such a right pace and gave us more time to witness another step taken by thame and po—the progress of their relationship is beautiful and captivating. it makes me giddy and happy and shy and rooting for them even more.

i don't have much to say about the past few episodes because they're quite direct and easy to digest (in my opinion). however, I'm keen on talking about jun's side of the story and the physical intimacy between thame and po (finally!)

p.s. i do apologise for not writing this weekly thamepo post for episodes 6 and 7 for reasons I've stated previously. but without further ado, let's begin!

1. jun's unrequited love — his sacrifice for the friendship that means more than the world to him

for weeks, i've been asking myself, "what's up with jun?"

his actions confused me because the series!jun was doing things that were different from novel!jun. for context, I read some spoilers a few weeks ago, and I learned that in the novel, jun likes thame. the air hockey scene was when he was *kind of* confessing his feelings for thame, but not directly and openly. i don't know how novel!jun treats novel!po, therefore I can't really make a deduction if he's also falling for po. but in terms of the series!jun, I believe he did like po.

let's be serious. he wouldn't be here if he didn't have feelings for po. i don't think anyone can convince me (at this point) that he didn't like po romantically.

he knew thame was busy dealing with khun pemika at the company (and other stuff pertaining to MARS), so he took another step to be there for po when thame couldn't—he didn't want po to feel left out or abandoned.

it's so fascinating to me that at this point, jun believed that their feelings were one-sided; he knew po liked thame, but jun didn't believe that thame would feel the same. i think this has a lot to do with the fact that thame is more of show not tell kind of person.

jun was looking at thame and po—he was observing them. he was trying to put two and two together (and hoping that the answer wouldn't be four because if it did—he would have to back off). but the answer was indeed four and jun...

i think, at the back of jun's mind, he knew what was happening between thame and po—it was so obvious that they shared something mutual. but jun was battling his own devils. along the way, as his feelings grew for po, and all those moments spent with po—perhaps jun saw that he had a chance. he only had to be in this headspace where he believed thame didn't feel the same for po. thus, why jun was running away from thame—because jun knew, if he confronted thame (or vice versa), he would discover the truth. and I guess, he wasn't ready for that rejection.

jun was really attentive, and that wasn't a surprise. he was always watching and trying to access/understand the situation. i guess, aside from pepper, jun would be the next to see the bigger picture. he would be the one to take charge if thame and pepper couldn't.

he knew po's favourite snacks. he wanted to be there with po—for po. even though he's brash and rough, this was his way of showing that he cared—he loved.

(i think i've covered more extensively jun's character in this post for better understanding of where I'm coming from hehe)

so the confrontation began and jun said everything he wanted to say to thame.

in my opinion, jun believed that whatever thame were doing for po wasn't enough. i guess, jun put himself in po's shoes for a while here—it reminded him of how thame selflessly took all the burden of MARS and carried them on his shoulders alone. thame did those things for the sake of the group, and jun found that unbelievably selfish because they're in a group—he's supposed to be thame's best friend, someone he could trust and talk to—they should be in this together. but it was second nature for thame to take everything and leave nothing on the plate, probably because of his role as a leader.

i think jun was hoping that thame wouldn't do that alone. he didn't want thame to blame himself for everything that happened to MARS before they reunited. jun didn't like many decisions thame made, so this was why he decided to distance himself from MARS and led the other members astray from thame. it was his way of coping with problems and betrayal and disappointment: he would run because he wanted to avoid conflict—he didn't want to paint anyone as the bad guy.

so this was what he did: he avoided thame so that he didn't have to confess his own feelings for po, while he vaguely knew that po might not feel the same.

even though i know many of us (me included) were confused about jun and the reason behind his doings, this episode really cleared the air for me. he loved his friendship with thame more than anything—he loved thame a lot to put a stop to their years of friendship. people could say anything about him, but at the end of the day, jun genuinely cared about thame and po. and he chose them over his own feelings.

(i also love the back-and-forth tension between jun and thame as they confessed the things they'd been dying to say to each other. and each time they were right, the puck entered the goal. that was so effective to prove the intensity of their emotions from a literary standpoint I was actually vibrating in awe because they DID THAT so well ugh it was so delicious!!!)

but the thing that made me scream and lose my breath was thame asked jun "you like him, don't you?" and the puck entered jun's goal OH MY GOD THAT WAS PEAK CINEMA in my opinion!!!

and jun was transported back to those moments shared with po, that little time he spent with po—these feelings that were growing fonder by the second. they were fleeting, but still so beautiful. (if this isn't love then I guess... I'm blindsided by love. i don't know what love is anymore t_t)

and it broke me when jun answered, "it doesn't matter how I feel," because JUN, LOVE, YOUR FEELINGS MATTERED GOODNESS :'(

and when jun said to thame, "you don't even have feelings for him," THAME STOPPED THE PUCK FROM ENTERING HIS GOAL GOODNESS THAT WAS ANOTHER PEAK CINEMA MOMENT BECAUSE!!!!!!!

it wasn't true. he had feelings for po. he loved po. thame loved po so much.

i think, due to his inexperience, thame didn't know much about navigating his feelings for po. he didn't know what was enough and what was overdoing things. thame was always standing on this thin line between sanity and madness—he didn't know how to find the perfect balance. there was no doubt that thame liked more so intensely, but in jun's eyes (and I believe pepper too), thame wasn't doing enough. and po could oblivious sometimes so that was why jun saw this as a chance for him to make a move—to revolve with po. because love wasn't only about late-night texts and failed movie dates and long walks and heart-to-heart talks. love should be thame moving forward with po and not for po—love should be thame holding po's hand and facing the upcoming obstacle together—not just handling it alone.

jun just didn't want thame to repeat the same mistake he did with MARS. after he knew everything from po about thame's sacrifices (in episode 3), he was gutted that thame kept so much guilt and anger alone. he just wanted thame to prove (more to himself than anyone) that he was a man of his word—he would be there for MARS and po. he would love and protect them as promised.

jun and thame's friendship runs deeper than the sea and we can't pretend that we can't see the depth of their understanding and reliance on each other. these two individuals have so much love to give and receive, but the winner takes all—and in this game, thame won.

thame said that even though they'd been friends for a long time, neither of them had to back down if they really liked po. this also proved thame's selflessness and also his openness to accepting the what-ifs of po not picking him.

however, i believe, jun loves thame and this friendship more than his blossoming feelings for po—jun backed down for the sake of this friendship—for his love and respect for thame. //jun... I've wronged you in so many ways. I'm sorry that I doubted you. love, you deserve more than the entire world :'(//

jun said he didn't have feelings for po: this was his way of waving the white flag. i think jun believed it wasn't worth giving up years of friendship and watching it going down the drain just for a person—even though jun hoped it could transpire into something more meaningful if he never discovered about thame's truest feelings for po. but like I said, it was clear from the start that thame and po liked each other, and all jun wanted (and tried to avoid) was to believe he could be in thame's shoes if thame stayed in his spot—if he didn't get the clarification from thame about his feelings for po.

jun was obviously dejected and disheartened, but he masked it so well with that usual smugness. but at least, in my eyes, I knew jun genuinely liked po, and he cared about him in ways that thame was lacking before. but he believed po was better off with thame instead of him since their feelings were already equal.

and i have an inkling that thame—to an extent—knew that jun was lying. i think thame knew jun liked po too... and this was why episode 3!jun and episode 3!thame were so important to be understood because their friendship is so genuine and strong and nothing could ever break this bond except the both of them. thame was aware of the sacrifices jun did and vice versa. this wouldn't affect their friendship—this wouldn't make them crumble. they loved each other too much to let it happen (although they'll never say this aloud).

jun turned from a thame's potential competitor to thamepo's unofficial cupid. no one's doing it like jun. he's the OG definition of 'best friend' in my opinion: a pain in the ass, but would stand up for others no matter what.

and the way he was looking at po here... it felt like a goodbye to his feelings for po :( but I hope they'll continue being this bickering duo and frenemies because jun really helped po see his potential and po gave jun warmth and comfort like never before :(

also, shoutout to nut for being the perfect jun! you're an amazing actor! the emotional rollercoaster you strapped me into while watching your shenanigans and heart eyes for po gave me chest pains (tbvh). but friend, I love you. i hope you'll find happiness *coughs* dylan *coughs* ;)

it drives me insane that jun and po were finally meeting somewhere with a brighter setting and lighting—probably hinting that both of their feelings are no longer in the dark. no one was hiding from the truth anymore.

this was when jun got the last confirmation that po liked thame—and this was where po knew that thame liked him too. this ended on a bittersweet note for jun, but an epiphany for po. //my heart hurts for unknown reasons...//

2. physical intimacy — another step forward, a moment of clarity

sometimes, i think, thamepo took the slow burn too seriously because what do you mean in episode 8 we finally got them properly holding hands??? (but i love it so much T_T)

but the whole sequence of thame and po talking, trying to squeeze out the 'i like you' from each other but didn't get to because that felt too heavy on their shoulders for now. so they settled with conversations filled with metaphors and symbols and I'm always down for that ;)

i think this was the first time that they were this physically close. my heart was in my throat for the remaining 13 minutes because they were so shy and this moment felt so intimate and sensual and I shouldn't be prodding but I couldn't stop gawking at them finally being this close and all over each other (metaphorically) and I didn't know where they were heading—

and thame decided to watch the movie in po's room because, like jun said—

"why you should be there in a rush? seeing him today, I guess, at most, you'll just end up staring at each other. I'm telling you, during the first six months of dating him, even holding hands is an achievement. and it will take two whole years before you two get to kiss. as for going to his room, i'd say it'll definitely take up to five years."

the way i CACKLED because jun, friend, sorry to burst your bubble, but these knuckleheads FINALLY HELD HANDS!!!!!!!!!

i wondered if i was a victorian man seeing a woman's ankle for the first time because this scene got me squeaking and screeching and hollering and screaming and giggling and blushing and losing my marbles because yes!!! finally! they were one step closer (literally and physically)! thame was really proving jun wrong because this guy was done being vanilla xD

there's really this different charge in the air after thame and po reached a moment of clarity through jun. thame was visibly more confident, and po was more open to accepting thame's advances (even though he was still nervous. i think this still has a lot to do with the emotional trauma that po has after his break-up with earn).

thame did the korean male lead move here and expect me not to scream??? the audacity.

and when thame said he wanted to do so many things (to po and with po), but watching a movie in po's room would be enough for this new beginning—THAME YOU'RE INSANE!!!

and yes, thame was buying a bottle of water and lozenges for his throat to spend the night with po (and not what we had in mind... 👀)

we know what's coming next week. and that particular scene (the second picture)... if you know, you know... //readying myself to jump off the nearest rooftop//

are we even ready for thamepo dating era? //i'm not...//

[rillils]

not me casually leafing through some screencaps and randomly realizing that the bartender in catfa also happens to be pre-serum steve's body double, thus making this shot:

the perfect rendition of what steve's before/after pics would have looked like side by side (and steve's leaning over a little, so he's actually slightly taller than that)

and it truly sinking in how fucking nuts it must have been for bucky to see THAT when steve found him lying on that table

[egophiliac]

the lovers, reversed

(aka I'm still freaking out about Jou)

[mirensiart]

i think it's very funny that i've seen people headcanon wind to speak spanish or for his hylian to be similar to spanish cause like

i'm chilean, and our spanish is recognized by other spanish speakers as being the worst spanish since we speak with weird unique slang and we have a sing-song accent

like, there's a reason why there's so many memes of our spanish sucking ass lmao

anyway, this is a very convoluted and stupid way for me to say that wind is chilean now, i'm claiming him

someone in the chain mentions they know spanish too and wind replies with a heavy chilean accent and slang and everyone's like "what the fuck was that"

[ballad-of-the-lamb]

Thy Ballad, I have a question for thee. What inspired you to make the designs for the cat and the lamb? I've not really seen many who puts the lamb as a more muscular force, while having the cat more of a stick figure that looks like he can't compare to the lambs lift

i like big bitches

[pinkd3mon]

Dedede at the end of revenge of the king

Day 4 of drawing random kirby shitpost for every day of October

[willyhoos]

scenes from hetaoni that im overthinking:

1) japan describing this (most traumatic incident of italy's life) as an "adventure" to italy's face. that's a load-bearing "..."

2) italy successfully redirecting everyone's opinion about the clocks. ⭐achievement: friends manipulated!!

3) ...until japan calls italy's claims into question (twice) and both times italy gets so upset, unsure of how to improvise, that he starts visibly panicking and finally has to leave the room.

the first time, after japan asks if he's okay, he immediately leaves. you ever had someone ask you "you doing alright?" and you just burst into tears? im convinced italy left to have a cry break here

the second time, he's not interested in receiving any pity, and gets like... violent. yelling and slamming the door on his way out. well done italy youre the picture of mental health!

4) before the Big Showdown after the ladder room, america made a big show out of being Too Cool to Get Hurt... but canada noticed :,) such a good brother. not to be sad, but i'm sure there's been other loops where america gets himself mortally wounded and canada blames himself, so maybe he's even more attentive than usual!

5) its never stated exactly how long the timeloop has been (theres that One Post i love but, as it says, it only accounts for a small portion of loops) but. uh. this is definitely indicative of.. something.

i used to think that hetaoni having a potentially several-years-long loop would be far too much, but considering that the nations are, well, immortal, and canonically have a very strange and understandably warped view of time... maybe it really has been much longer than we know. after all, it's not like germany started building this on loop #1... how long before he even BEGAN construction?

5) "everyone has noticed that italy is acting weird but no one wants to say anything because we don't want to deal with the freakout"

-> implying they've been gossiping about him behind his back. my poor sweet spaghetti child . youre so horrible at this .

6) even in timeloops where the nations are all AWARE that they're in a timeloop, and italy is presumably open with what he knows... he doesn't tell them that it's his fault they came to the mansion in the first place.

i imagine he doesn't WANT to hide the info he knows thru timeloops (locations of keys, supplies, secret passages, etc) unless he feels he HAS to. but the truth that everything is his fault? he deliberately tells no one. that's not strategy. that's shame.

[frogatz]

you'll see them again !

too many thoughts and things done with Intent to fully explain myself . partially bc this was supposed to be much much longer, but i think i would like to play more in the space of post-game loop.

[victorie552]

Kind of a weird AU but hear me out:

Finwe marries Indis, right? Most controversial thing Finwe ever done and that includes leading elves from their ancestral home to a new continent to live with gods. Silmarillion says that it happened because he fell in love and I believe it BUT what Silmarillion doesn't tell you is WHEN Finwe marries Indis. I saw posts that say the canon is inconclusive and Tolkien probably changed his mind a lot, and half of what of what Tolkien wrote is thrown from the window by fandom, so.

Anyway, one of the versions said Feanor was at least a teenager when Finwe/Indis happens (I think). What Silmarillion states is that Feanor married VERY young by elven standards, and that Nerdanel was below his station (classism? in elven society? apparently!).

Last thing before I get to the main point: Fingolfin marries Anaire, a Noldo lady, who I saw often enough written as a noble or a court lady, perfectly fine that, no idea if that's canon. And Finarfin very much marries Teleri princess.

...I don't know guys, it feels very convienient. For princes to fall in love with exactly the kind of women who would be approved by royal court and strenghten political ties with other elven factions. If it was anything else than silm, I would call political marriages.

Time for crack: based on what I wrote above I propose an AU where it was FEANOR who was supposed to marry Indis. For politics! Vanyar are the most important faction in Aman! Let's marry into that!

But the MOMENT Feanor became an adult and they could process with courting without making it creppier than it already is, Feanor runs off to elope with his coworker and there's nothing they can do. Well, that's what Finwe tells Ingwe when Ingwe rages about it to him.

Finwe loves Feanor, he wants him to marry for love, and that's exactly what happens. But, uh, all Vanyar are pissed that there's no political marriage when they were promised one (they mad cause they look stupid now), and, well. Finwe decides to bite the bullet. For his son.

It's not true of course. But imagine family dinners after that.

[starflungwaddledee]

what is the name of the awtdy au? it looks to be an acronym of some sort

(any more stuff about the au in general is welcomed)

correct! here's the two page comic i made to answer this question instead of just typing out five words like a normal person because i am nothing if not committed!

[givemewallywestorgivemedeath]

There are only so many fanfics that use the entirety of DC as cardboard cutouts to prop up bat family characters that I can read before I go berserk.

I swear to god. Every character that has ever been shipped with a bat or coexists on the same team as a bat is owed an apology.

How many Young Justice fanfics that solely revolve around Tim must exist? How many Titans fanfics centered only on Dick? Why is it a herculean task to find a Justice League fanfic without Bruce as the main character?

And then even when you do find a fic that seems like it's balanced, everything still revolves around the bat. Like Kon, Cassie and Bart have nothing else going on in their lives except Tim and Tim's issues or thinking about Tim. Like Donna and Wally and Roy just cannot function if they aren't spending every waking moment thinking about Dick.

I'm... Guys. I'm at my limit. I swear to god. We need to make a Batman tag and surgically remove all these fics and quarantine them there. We'll keep the actual DC fics and they can do whatever the fuck they want in their own tag. It's getting ridiculous how hard it is to find fanfic that's actually DC related and isn't just 'The BatFam Show'.

[drinkingdeadpeopletea]

does anybody else ever think about how moc weepe sold saskia out by name and with a completely casual tone but also screamed her name for no apparent reason while he was being functionally tortured. anyone else just sort of rotating that around in their mind.

[palettepainter]

I GOT THE MUPPET MOVIE VINYL FOR £20 AND IT ARRIVED TODAY!!!

[qpjianghu]

Towards the Truth is SUCH a vibe

[arctic-hands]

For real tho health freaks who scream about how sugar and salt will kill us all and try to push for restrictions on things like candy and chips for SNAP recipients or politicians who try from time to time to replace food stamps all together and give out Government Approved Staples like bread and peanut butter and Government Cheese are gonna kill a whole lotta sick and disabled people like

Diabetics

POTS sufferers

Hypotensives

People with peanut allergies

People with celiac disease or wheat allergies

The lactose intolerant

People who can't eat solid food

People who are undernourished for any reason and need all the calories they can pack on

So-called "picky eaters" who can't tolerate certain tastes and textures without getting violently ill

A myriad of other human conditions that cannot be neatly tallied into categories because the human body and human experience is vast and infinitely variable

But I don't think ableds really care about us and our health like they like to claim so they can harass us about it, do you?

[bigcats-birds-and-books]

Books of 2025: ADRIFT IN CURRENTS CLEAN AND CLEAR by Seanan McGuire.

Ah, yes, my favorite January tradition: heartbreak in tiny series installment form :)

This one is about a turtle-obsessed disabled Russian girl who gets adopted by an American family and fitted for a prosthetic she doesn't ask for, want, or need, and then she splashes through her Door.

I love Russian language and culture things (shout out to accidentally double minoring in college), so I was excited for a Russian protag and a Russian-coded Door world! Excellent enrichment in my enclosure. Neat cultural expansion on the Wayward Children universe (multiverse? cosmos?? insert appropriately scaled setting word here).

I also liked the aquatic nature of Belyyreka--terrifying giant frogs and delightful giant turtles and delightful talking foxes on the riverbanks were all lovely, and the worldbuilding about different weights of water was neat! Very mind-bendy kind of setting, I dig it.

This installment felt very slim (146 pages in my copy), and Our World Heavy--the first 46 pages were in Colorado, and the last 100 were in Belyyreka, but it felt like we did More Frequent and Larger Time Skips in Belyyreka compared to Earth? Kind of speedrun mode, sans Quests, really (this one was a lot more oriented toward Finding/Building Your Family, which was signposted pretty clearly upon our arrival in Belyyreka). Mostly a quieter installment up until the, y'know, Typical Impending Tragedy of Return at the end. (Did I almost put it down at 1AM last night with 30 pages left so everyone could Be Happy? perHAPS,)

Overall: I had a good time! But, ow, my heart (once again and forever).