#i'll work out the rest later
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one thing about ik is that she will always reach out
#obey me#art#i had the idea for this and managed to bulldoze through drawing it all without losing motivation halfway through#but Do Not expect me to post art this frequently in future#idk how to do panels so if the middle bit with the text might be laid out weird#i added the stars and feathers and stuff because there was a bunch of empty space around the boxes#obey me satan#jtta ik#(btw the crumbling symbol next to the exploding feather is the wrath symbol from in-game)#(with the pride symbol attached upside down at the bottom)#(not so much symbolism as it is just me whacking you over the head with the point but it looks cool)#i had a lot of fun doing satan's more monstrous design so i might try my hand at some of the other demons later?#i do have some ideas for levi (deep sea creatures are just really fun)#also happy nightbringer release day!! it showed up on my homescreen like half an hour ago and i was like âwait whatâ#for some reason i thought it wasn't releasing til next week??#the new genshin patch is today as well so looks like i'll have plenty to do with the rest of my free time for the easter hols#(i promise i'm also working on the next chapter of jtta but i am so stuck on how to get lucifer actually Talking)#anyway. here's a gold star for making it through all my rambling in the tags for anyone who did so: â
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point of view: Spiral Time
adapted from Unmasking Autism by Devon Price
"...time [is] flowing and even folding back on itself, an overlapping series of cycles, periods of dormancy intersecting with growth."
Expand the time frame you use to gauge productivity and success -> don't be afraid to cycle back to old projects or let a passion go when it's not giving you what you want/need
Slow down. Stillness helps neurodivergent minds process the huge quantities of data we take in.
#i'll work out a proper reminder (prob about Reframe and Rest) using this info as a base later#rn i just know this info is something i will want to remind myself of later#reminders#unmasking autism
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pony posting
#undescribed#bonk.png#great god grove#ggg#got hit with hard nostalgia for mlp n remembered a post i saw about the bizzyboys being the main six if they did fuckall#so bizzyponies i was also gonna do inspekta bc the show has a lot of transformations n i was gonna have spek as an alicon#then realized idk if i wanna do alicorn (like the rest of the gods) or have inspekta be something else bc on one hand nightmare moon n the#eg transformations on the other hand fucking DISCORD who is also noodle n does the eye thing#so inspekta isnt here sorry also couldnt come up with a ponified name anyway so works out for now#patty was the first one i drew which i kind of regret bc i was still getting in the groove so she turned out a bit jank#goal with the renaming was to keep the shortening available to the names they have in the grove however cappuccino was entirely bc for some#reason before i read the artbook i thought capochin's name came from that#ban's was gonna be banana boast but then i looked up cinematography terminology n picked one of the b's bc cinema#drawing capo as a pony was so funny kept giggling n also belated realized that i might've wanted him to be a mule bc of cranky or whatever#from the show. guy that hated pinkie in his debut episode i forgot his name#patty being a blank flank is intentional she gets her cutiemark when she stands up for herself v-v#was gonna do something other art for this like pony king but i'll do that later maybe#no colors bc i drew this on my phone n everything is saturated as fuck on here so i cant color accurately
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2024 year in review/art summary. i realized i never made these for 2021-23 either so here's all of them. i think i haven't been drawing as much these past few years, oh well support me on: patreon | kofi | redbubble
#year in review#art summary#i think in 2020 i got stuck on the decade review which i never finished and then didn't make these after#don't ask me why the formatting's so different#some of this art i haven't posted yet oh well.... some of it's in my queue.... i'll upload the rest later#2021#2022#2023#2024#for drawing less it's kinda because of having an irl job#less time and also kinda giving up on doing art for money#since now i can get money from job. and i wasn't very good at getting money from art anyway. also doing it for money made drawing less-#-enjoyable; this just didn't matter to me much tho. if it worked out i would've taken it as less enjoyable work rather than for fun#though in theory i would now be drawing stuff i actually wanted to draw then#but that takes more effort and i'm usually too tired#idk we'll see if this year's better since i'm working fewer days now#i was going to write this out too at some point but was tired of the performative aspect of social media so here's some info in random tags
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cold fruit in a hot kitchen (so i had this great watermelon last weekend)
#so I had this great watermelon last weekend. and the thing is it probably wasn't even that great of a watermelon#but I was four hours into an eight hour shift and we had thrown out all the watermelon salad because no one was eating it#and then our manager ran in and yelled that the client really fucking wanted watermelon salad.#so like six of us servers started frantically chopping watermelon. and the kitchen got really hot#in the way it does when everyone inside it is really stressed because there's no fucking watermelon salad#and after we chopped all the watermelon and the client got their fucking watermelon we all had a moment#where we looked at the remaining watermelon and we were so hot and cocktail hour was almost over anyway and the salads were all plated#and we all went for the watermelon and we ate it with the kind of rabid intensity you only get while eating cold watermelon in a hot kitche#and it was the best watermelon I have ever tasted and several days later i am still chasing the high of that fucking watermelon#and the thing is i know it isn't even the watermelon i'm actually missing#it's the feeling of cool liquid on hot skin and the feeling of a crisis averted and the feeling of camaraderie#that comes with devouring a watermelon in a hot kitchen with six other people who you have nothing in common with except that watermelon.#i don't dream of labor but i am dreaming now of being 4 hours into an eight hour shift eating watermelon in a hot kitchen.#i dream of laughing around the cold fruit in my mouth. I crave that watermelon like i'll die without it.#< honest to god this is real and that watermelon left such an impact on me that i had to draw it and write this. having a normal one#maybe this is insane but working in a team of people you truly like to do something you actually enjoy is so underrated#if only they fucking paid me i could work as a server for the rest of my life. unironically#skribbles
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HEY NERDS (AFFECTIONATE) GUESS WHO BROKE 1000 WORDS ON THE FIRST CHAPTER OF THE LONGFIC
#amy rambles#amy fights the documence#fic: the longfic#baldur's gate 3#bg3#astarion ancunĂn#oc: diana#WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO#this is NOT what i need to be working on#BUT TOO BAD#have i outlined yet? nope#but i have a beginning and i have an ending#AND I'LL DEAL WITH THE REST LATER#(no seriously don't worry i WILL build an outline)#(a certain someone's been yelling about trello lately so i think i might try that out)
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mspaint is so fun when i've got no fucking idea what im doing
#honestly this was just like#my bf and a friend both use mspaint sometimes/always so i wanted to try it out#im not used to no stabilizer but its working i think#the fucking fill tool SUCKS though#where the FUCK is my ONE PIXEL WIDE GAP#but yea i like mspaint#just add layers and we're all cool#no im not even going to bother trying to shade this#i got so cocky after Those Two Drawings and i've now realizing i still have no fucking idea what im doing#anyways incase you haven't noticed im trying to incorporate a couple more curves into my style#instead of just pure sharp edges#i like it a lot more tbh#murder drones#murder drones n#serial designation n#mspaint#art#i feel like using the âartworkâ tag is a bit pretentious of me for what are just sketches so im going to stop using it#if i feel especially bad later then i'll go through the rest of my posts and take it off there too#if i cannot replicate this style in clip then im just fucking moving to mspaint
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Eddie didnât remember him. Buck took a deep breath, Eddie was alive, that was all that mattered.
Or, Eddie gets shot, loses some of his memories and comes to an interesting conclusion.
#911#911 ABC#911 Fic#Buddie#Buck and Eddie#Eddie Diaz#Evan Buckley#Ryan Guzman#Oliver Stark#Buddie Fic#Buddie FanFiction#FanFiction#AO3#realchemistry#anyway#This idea for this came out of nowhere as I was listening to Taylor Swift's âDown Badâ hence the title#The chapters will be named after Taylor lyrics because I feel like having fun with it#I posted these a few days back and now it's here#I have a little more written and some of the rest planned but we haven't even gotten to the actual fun of it at this point...#here's hoping I'll get inspo and finish this#I literally woke up today and wrote over 1000 words but for a completely different thing#I'm LMAO at myself and my brain#I also made some changes to a previous work but I'll post about it later mayhaps
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i rmr when all the initial meta around endgame was coming out people were talking about steve being depressed and whatnot and it's like well yeah but he's BEEN depressed, like he woke up alone in this century and he kept going, now i can understand it being worse this time after finding a family and getting bucky back and losing them all except of course that's not why endgame steve was on about so like......the people writing meta were trying to connect these things that of course weren't really there on screen because that simply wasn't our steve
but i think it really could've been SO interesting to see this is the thing that finally makes steve stay down like he's lost so much and he just CAN'T keep fighting like i get some people think that's what they were going for but considering the ending......it's really not. and so i'm just thinking about a version after iw, maybe he gets some of the thor treatment except not turning his depression into a dumb fatphobic joke lol and maybe nat and others are trying to get through to him and it just doesn't work and then we get some flashbacks (which you could have done for all the original avengers actually which would be particularly important for bruce and nat and clint who did not have their own trilogies) including his mom telling him "you always stand up" and THAT being the thing to finally get him moving like it would've been such a perfect way to finally show sarah rogers some respect and ACTUALLY show steve really struggling instead of whatever they tried to do with him in that movie
#steve rogers#mcu#anti endgame#why am i still rewriting this movie five years later#really though i think i rmr just trying to work through it all#and a lot of the meta i was reblogging initially still wasn't really accurate to endgame or the rest of the mcu#like they were still making steggy more important than it canonically was while trying to explain why it was a bad ending#and it's kind of like you can say steve would respect that peggy had a life and wouldn't interfere with it but that's about it like#going on about how he DID love her so much and just wouldn't be selfish enough to do those things#or that she was soooo important to his moral compass (hence why so many fic writers had her telling him to go back to bucky lol insanity)#are just not accurate lmao i do think much as she may be rightfully disliked#while canonically he did not LOVE her he did respect her even if we think that's annoying bc she's an asshole to him in catfa#but yeah no he had a moral compass before her i understand what people were going for with the compass being symbolic but like....#any time she said anything did he listen? except for maybe when she told him he was meant for more? it really doesn't seem like it#nor did he need it! jesus! the whole point of catfa is he was chosen for a REASON he was already a good man#he did not need peggy 'sure i'll let nazis into shield' carter to teach him shit#but yeah it was bc i followed one stucky blog at the time who was reblogging a lot of good shit but a lot of that nonsensical shit too#and i was just reblogging it all bc everything sounded better than endgame#and i really did start seeing more of the discussions around peggy where her culpability in catws hadn't even occurred to me#bc i was so in fic from the beginning of joining fandom that not only was their relationship made as impt as stucky#it was also made out like what happened to shield was hurting her legacy and it's like...but she had to have at least SOME responsibility#and yeah eventually it's like okay no it's not just that steve wouldn't Do That it's also that they would've been a terrible couple#and not only would he not be so selfish but he wouldn't give up everything for HER lmao but he would've for bucky as was shown over and ove
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whshdfhfjf.,,,
#close up!! because i firstly Did Not render them with such insanity in order for tumblr's lack of general resolution to make it blur#look at all the lines!!! teehee i still really really like this style of digital painting it's super super fun to do!!! and also secondly#because i went back and added a tag ramble and as i seem to often be doing??? lately?? reached the 30 tag limit and went 'hm ok how else..'#anyway the tag essay on that one is now up and talks about the artwork generally and miscellaneous thoughts!! that said. i need a space to#ramble about beatrix at Length because look you don't draw and paint etc a character for like ten hours without having a lot of thoughts#anyways ! i digress terrifically. tag rambles are more like trains of thoughts masquerading as subways and you get on and it's unfortunately#a rollercoaster track. but this is My Blog and i can do Whatever I Want as long as i don't hurt anyone <- affirmations!! also Harm Principle#lately it's been like *kicks up feet* *opens tumblr tags* *treats it as own personal journal* and tbh Good for me!! anyways back to beatrix#fun fact ! the thing that pushed me over the edge to go watch the musical after looking through the tumblr tag was a very specific poll.#and the fact that the winning option was blue hair and pronouns made me double over laughing so hard i had to go see the source material#mm i feel like lately the academic Context has been tossing me essentially into a blender HAHA ;-; so everyone in adamandi is to some extent#a Mood. but bea-specific (haha be specific)(sorry!)(wow this is the same reaction mechanism of my friend who points out innuendos)(...)#i think it's the wanting to prove herself. like from the whole abuela etc thing there's proof here she's got a Stable Support System of sort#and instead what beatrix continues to do is push themselves. 'i guess u could say i'm married to my work? god that's depressing' // no one#here to enforce that // abuela tells me to rest says i'm constantly stressed and i'll just get depressed like before but i still have to try#like. that shred of desperation that pushes you to the brink to neglect yourself (well i guess physically but also your morals..) and like!!#the whole 'lose half your soul thing' proves she's self aware!! like they know what they're doing is super dubious yknow! but they're still#they're still doing it even if it goes into conflict with their morality system in a way and then they justify it to themselves (see pt 1#of ghostwriter) and the whole wanting to achieve at all costs Despite the self awareness. (i think? this aspect also applied to quincy. but#thoughts on him will come later). more beatrix specific also is the fact that they genuinely adore their work.. 'i just love it here where#you know they'll be printing forever and you are just part of it' because that does kind of resonate with me. also the being behind in the#competition is real!!! i'm maybe talking about Art as a subject because that same drive for it exists on my good days i think. even#even when nothing seems to be going right and you've ended up at the back the intent passion inherent in what you do is still there!!!#the genuine. care she has for reporting. is so !!!!! to me... other beatrix thoughts include 'why reveal yourself at the end' aka vincent's#'u should have stayed silent u had a smart plan' like rip to them but i would not // it feels with bea's complex character i can't imagine h#her Not doing that. like the guilt is real i guess. and i am running out of tags but! smth also about her fervent hope or smth that she'll#eventually get to where she wants. and the resilient determination.. 'i won't let their deaths be pointless there's more good i'm gonna do'#they're so so real for that. i'm not sure if it's a good or bad thing; seeing myself reflected in aspects of characters like this.. but it's#it's there regardless. smth smth just make your peace with the person you are ig!! tldr beatrix campbell my beloved. hehe#adamandi
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Actually I think it's a bit unfair that I can't be an astrophysicist and a historian and a game developer and a marine biologist and an archaeologist and an author and a seamstress at the same time
#I think I have a quarter-life crisis /hj#like I want to make space discoveries but I also want to analyse ww2 battles and I want to-#study the behaviour of whales and I want to create fictional worlds and I want to sew costumes and and and#there's so much knowledge out there to be learned and things to try out how are you supposed to do this all in one lifetime?#when you're expected to start working a fulltime job and stay in that line for the rest of your life??#though my problem isn't necessarily that I don't wanna be doing that job - it's more that I don't *only* wanna be doing that job#I just wish I could just try different job fields and see what they're like for like 2-3 years before trying out something else#but since they're all so different I'd have to start from the bottom again every time which probably also means worse payment etc#and I just don't have the time for that because I'd also like to build a stable life and maybe have a family later on#plus some of these jobs are just don't pay very well to begin with#I swear if I was rich and didn't have to worry about regular income I'd probably just be a forever student and study a whole bunch of stuff#just because I want to#unless I win the lottery I'll probably just start working fulltime though once I hopefully finish my master's#however I've already been thinking about signing up for studying history afterwards regardless - just for fun without pressure#I love the topic and then I wouldn't have the pressure of *needing* to find a job in the field afterwards#bc it's hard to find something unless you go for the teacher (or maybe professor) route plus pay seems kinda meh either way#but we'll see#I don't even know what this post is supposed to be. like not really a vent but. still complaining? idk#I don't know how to tag this#selnia talks
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The Greek Mythos Project: What We Accept Within Submissions
Hello everyone, it is once again Camila here and I am writing this post because I decided I should probably clarify things sooner than later. I know I and quite a few other lovely people can struggle with open barriers within things, especially in such a large and "imposing" project, so I decided to write down the general specifics of things to lessen everyone's anxiety. This can and will definitely be improved if we are given more information/questions/asked for clarification so feel free to check every once in a while or reach out if you don't see a specific question you have answered. This is once again here to promote better communication within things and break down this large project to more manageable things. So, let's get into it!
[Note: This post will go from the broader, more unspecific, topics to the smaller, more specific ones so feel free to scroll down or up as you please :)]
The Biggest Thing First! One Singular POV. This is something that I, Camila, want for the project and therefore, it will be the most enforced thing within here. Don't worry, though! We will be releasing a Second Work alongside this main project consisting of things that didn't quite fit into the original project, such as works that aren't exactly (or at all) one POV but still want to be recognized or OC pieces that are like reincarnations of various gods/mortals/characters which I'll get into later. So you work has a place with us, I promise you <3.
Anyway, back to the One Singular POV thing. It genuinely does not matter whether the piece is First Person, Second Person, Third Person, or something within those parameters as long as the setting, scene, thoughts, and work are being described in that one character's thoughts/experiences. A great example of this in Third Person is in the Heroes of Olympus by Rick Riordan, a popular YA Book Series centering around Greek Mythology in a Modern Setting told by their Demigod Children, where the narrative is in Third Person POV but it only ever follows whoever's POV it's in. Such as we do see the character's actual name and "he/she/they" instead of "I" but we're not privy to anything other than what the character is experiencing.
That is what I am asking for, and I am asking for this mostly for myself!) As we all may know by now, this project was created because I--Camila--took one look at my goal to rewrite the entirety of Greek Mythology in my search to learn more about the Greek Myths, was like "yeah... no," and then proceeded to make this public with the intent to bring out those niche writers, gain a community, make friends, and generally learn more about the various communities and ideas surrounding such a vast and deep thing such as Greek Mythology (remember, people not only know this across the globe, but across centuries. It's not just our ideas and the original texts, it's the Roman Empire's thoughts, the Rise of Christianity, all of our forefathers, and even those who we have read dissecting these things and creating academic papers or other works. It's just so interesting how much character and change and even how much influence various things have had on our modern perceptions). But, this is also a Project, this is also mine, and so I am very politely asking for it to be One POV of a Greek Mythological Character--However Niche They May Be--Only.
Thank you so much for understanding and, again, I will be hosting a Secondary Fic for all the things that don't quite fit under this Main Project but may still want to have the recognition/community that this comes with <3.
Note!! Because this post ended up being a little long and would be hard to properly organize going further, the rest of it will be comprised in reblogs <33
#The Greek Mythos Project#Greek Mythology#to do a quick and basic summarization of the rest because I don't know when I'll be able to get it out there:#yes OCs can be included as long as the POV is of a canonical main character#yes you can reuse old published works (& you can also provide their links so we can give the original posts some love)#AUs are undecided on where they will be placed among here#(they'll either be clearly labeled within the project or have their own Work)#will definitely be rewriting all these posts later down the line but they should serve as something#and we all deserve some human error over here don't we#and sorry if I'm being really repetitive#...they kind all revolve around the same thing#just let me know if I need to actually clean up this post or clarify something bc I cannot trust my own perception of myself#I am; and I quote; âmy own worst assholeâ and it can be applied to me doing stupid shit to myself or being a perfectionist <3#but yeah#hope this helps and yeah#once I write most of these little posts clarifying things I'll definitely rewrite everything to make them more cohesive#bc we learning as we go along too!!#/pos /gen#...did I miss anything?
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sits here. my mood has been swinging back and forth like a pendulum lately
#i still can't bring myself to make anything art-wise. and it is ripping me to shreds internally#i have no motovation whatsoever and i'm feeling disgusted by my creations. like that's the best you could do huh mixer?#i dunno. trying to keep calm. i'm going to my uncle's tomorrow to puppysit for 3 days#i'm happy that i'll see puppy but being out of my house will be stressful.#plus i've still got work to go to...#and i need to do the laundry and take out the trash and stop buying uber eats and forward my snap benefits email and.#and later today after high school lets out i'm going to talk with an old teacher i had#i need to change my bedding too..#i at least took a shower yesterday#i think my ptsd has been acting up in the background or something#my other uncle tries to tell me to let go of the past. but i don't want to. my past has forever impacted the way i'll be for the rest of-#-my life yk? and my 'past' wasn't even that long ago. it was 2/3 years ago. and my brother's still with that awful man#i can't pull him away from him.#i just wanna sleep. might take a sleep med early just to take a nap#i've been hating everything i make so like. why even try yk.#i drew one thing while i was hospitalized- a tiny sane jack head#i dunno. i dunno. i feel so empty. my depression's been super bad. i don't enjoy things that once made me happy#i feel so aimless. i'm thinking about going to college but i have to see what scholarships would be available because i can't work this job#WHILE in school. it'd wear me to the bone#i don't want to quit my job though. i like my job. i like my boss and my coworkers..#i dunno. idfk what's wrong with me anymore. i just want the pain to stop man.#i dunno what i want to do with myself but i feel like a. fuck it ik it's from firework but i feel like a plastic bag in the wind#i'm so tired. i miss my mom. i miss my sister. i miss my brother.#vent#delete later
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im so glad i took today off too
#im gonna still go in way later in the day when i know I'll be more up for movement#but my work day starts technically in like a couple hours#and I woke up in big pain like an hour ago (all the meds and drugs wore off đ) and I'm still throbbby and ouchies#and I'm definitely gonna wanna take a nap while my wife goes to work#and she has a half day today so we'll probably hang out when she gets back and have lunch#im much more mobile today too but i wnna also use my cane and take a short walk#and the walk from the bus to work is < 10 minutes so i may as well#but anyway yeah#im really glad i gave myself the flexibility to do what i want today while also giving my body extra time to rest and hurt and do its thing#cant wait for these pain meds to set in tho (its just Tylenol for the cramping)
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woah the skin i just had laser hair removal done on feels weirdly good. to touch and also to exist in. maybe i'm gonna start feeling it later but so far it's the opposite of irritated.
#it's not because there's any less hair there - whichever hairs died in that session will hopefully work their way out over several days#unfortunately most of my facial hair is too pale for laser so i'm just getting it done on my chin where there are darker ones#i'll get electrolysis to handle the rest later. it's an ordeal but i need the hair gone
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Character redesigns and misc. Thoughts⢠of the neglected
#sham's art#shamsbabs#billy#kimberly#evan#peadar#fĂodĂłir#iliana#eden#loki#not too set on kimberly and evan's redesigns yet#i just kinda drew them based on how they were originally designed tbh just to see if i could work with it#needs more zest tbh but i will figure that out later#eden on the other hand... i'm feeling what i've got going for them#i've been stuck on their design since 2019 and FINALLY i know what their vibe is#i'll hopefully do a full thing later when i start on my lil reference project#for now i've got many a different thing to worry about#and then loki is here too#i love him one of my more underrated efforts to make a silly guy tbh#i've considered him an oc at this point my lil scrunkly now babey#the rest is just whatever came to mind#i'm on a citizen soldier kick and i'm taking it out on the gorlie once more#what else is new#wheeeee anyway that's it lmao i will now be returning to my hovel#digital doodles#shipwrecked 64 oc#spidersona#kingdom hearts oc#khdr oc
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