#i'll be here til the end though! these posts will keep coming

[lynn-tged-posting]

tged webtoon ep 169 spoilers and thoughts that i'm incredibly late on because finals are coming up but it's okay we ball and more below the cut

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two little creatures,,, i really like this little panel,,, why is he crouch like that,,, heehee silly guy

nothing too drastic happened in this ep but there's a lot to talk about (and a ton of thoughts i have abt the execution of it) sooo ya here we go!!!!

the expressions and the art in this ep were all REALLY good i really liked these HAHAHAA hes so fucking menacing,,,

JAVIER WAS ALSO FUN I LOVE WHEN HE PLAYS THE STRAIGHTMAN HAHAHAHA

javier ilysm "i have so many things to say,,, but i wont,,," LOL

the heavenly demon kings were cool too! though very short-lived,,, i will have more to say on that,,, their designs are pretty varied and i like that a lot!!! tho seriously why are there eight of them what happened to warrant eight LMFAO

ALSO LLOYD IMMEDIATELY SUBDUING THE DEMON KINGS BY SINGING LMFAOOOOOOOOOO he's got a weapon he's gonna fucking use it LAKJFDLSJKDF

zero hesitation he just blasted them,,, it's like taking an airhorn and firing it immediately in someone's ear,,, how evil,,, lloyd u bastard /aff

AND ARTANIS ARTANIS WAAAAHHH SHES SOOO PRETTY i love characters with horns like that ive had my fair share of OCs with those horns and together w her hair and expression and eyes i love her a lot <3 i hope she gets more sillies

it seems like she's the only one with mind reading abilities maybe its a demon king thing? javier did mention that she has a LOT more power than she lets on so maybe theres more to it? her introduction and her request for help came VERY quick she was quick to cry and while it absolutely makes sense that its bc her people really, REALLY need help, im also wondering if there's something more to it,,, she was very fast to trust lloyd; what else does her mind reading let her see, to what extent? not saying that she's an antagonist or anything, i do believe that she wants to help her people i'm just curious at how. fast this is. though it may just be because of a pacing issue thats causing this confusion in me,,, which i will talk about later below cause i wanna get thru these panels heehee

and lastly, OUR FIRST LOOK AT THE FORMER/FIRST DEMON KING CREDOS!!! and apparently he just. stopped invading and focused on farming!!!

one) i love collecting little bits of lore like this it makes me go heehee yay worldbuilding

and two) THIS IS WHAT BRIDGES TGED TO THE NEW PREQUEL THAT THE AUTHOR IS WRITING!!! AAAHH YESSS YES YEEESS I LOVE THAT A LOT

if you didn't already know, the author is currently publishing another webnovel set in Lorasia, and it's supposed to take place when tyrannus was a kid, basically a long LONG time ago

AND ISN'T THAT FAMILIAR? A DEMON KING WHO STOPPED INVADING AND WENT FARMING,,, THATS THE BITCH!!!

(it says here there were four heavenly demon kings here tho i wonder why they doubled HAHA)

i love love LOVE that the pieces were set up like this, idk if credos is mentioned in the novel at all but little building blocks that create bridges (however small) between works in the same universe are my favorite thing ever i like collecting those it's my favorite kind of worldbuilding thing bc it's like putting pieces together heehoo

i'll ABSOLUTELY be making a post yapping about this prequel and the Everything that is Lorasia soon, so i'll leave this off here for now :3 but just know IM VERY EXCITED/HAPPY ABOUT THIS LITTLE LORE BIT IN PARTICULAR

ok that's all the panels i wanted to talk about ,,, i was gonna dive into worldbuild yapping/speculations but again i wanna make a separate post dedicated to that

now,,, about the pacing of this episode,,, as aforementioned, it feels really, REALLY fast! it feels like we're speedrunning the build-up part of the journey, like within the episode it's like "oh we got new characters, we get to know them- oh okay yeah they're not bad people actually - oh new powerful character let's work together okay cool moving on"

and it's a shame because i really really like the art and gags for this ep, i think they're really silly and i think i could have really come to like these new characters with more time, but because we're going through this process so fast it's like,,, the setup is barely there, which makes the punchlines just short of satisfying,,,

i wanted more out of this episode, i expected something else. i haven't read the novel so i couldn't tell you how i'd adapt it or what the something i expected was but,, idk it feels like the pacing is off,,, lloyd was quick to piece together the status of the overworld demons based on their attire and behavior but i really wish it went about in a different way. i wish we could have had more time with the heavenly eight demon kings before they were just. subdued? and the two children too, are we gonna see them again? with how fast they were introduced and how fast they were set aside, i'm worried they won't show up again

i also kind of wish artanis' reveal was,,, more. i don't know how to explain what that means. maybe more ominous? more mysterious? just a little more, more hints to her character or her relationship with other characters or something,,, though maybe this is too soon and we'll see more of her later and i'll be more satisfied? i'm not totally sure

this episode just didn't hit the same, and that really upsets me because i really wanted to like this episode! i've read more manhwa than novel currently so even with it's flaws i still really like the manhwa, and i want to be able to continue liking the manhwa,,, i really hope that this pacing thing and these fast-paced bits is just within this one episode and that it'll be okay as we go forward. i really want to continue enjoying reading this!!!

it could be that the adapter is experiencing some kind of burnout, it has been quite a long time since the start of tged. i really hope they take their time with adapting the rest, i really wouldn't mind another break. if another hiatus is needed for the adapter to pace the story and the artist to draw the panels in a way that feels better or less rushed, i'd accept the hiatus fully

anyway that's all i have to say right now,,, ep 170 really feels like a gamble right now and im praying that it goes well, if i have more thoughts ill probably rb with more yapping idk

i'll see y'all next week (aka tmrw) (because this post is a lil bit late LOL) im praying im praying,,, manifesting that this ep was just a lil awkward and that everything else is fine,,, please,,,

[mybutcheredtongue]

I'll Love You 'til the Grass Around My Gravestone is Deceased

post azkaban sirius black x fem!reader

CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN (see full series list here)

1994

Two nights before Harry's big Ministry hearing, you sit at the kitchen table with Sirius, talking about nothing in particular, easily slipping into your old routine of sitting and talking with each other for hours on end. No matter who you meet, no matter how long you've known them, there's no one that seems to just get you like he does.

Mrs Weasley wipes down the counters in the kitchen, her usual routine before heading to bed, while her husband fiddles with a Muggle children's toy you'd given him. It's one of those things with the metal balls inside, and you have to shake and tilt it to try and get them to fall into place in the holes, usually on the top of a bottle of bubbles.

"Fascinating!" Mr Weasley exclaims happily, shaking it enthusiastically and watching in wonder as the balls miss every hole completely. "And Muggle children play with this, yes?"

You nod, smiling. "Keeps them entertained for a little while. I never liked them growing up — I was never patient enough.”

He continues to play with the toy, his face the picture of wonder and interest. You're glad he's there, really, because you hate the tension between Sirius and Mrs Weasley ever since Harry's return. Neither one of them have decided to apologise to the other — and though sometimes you think about saying it to Sirius, you feel it really should be Mrs Weasley who apologises, considering the awful things she said about his place as Harry's godfather.

You're still on good terms with Mrs Weasley, despite how her words still sit stinging in the back of your mind, but you'd rather forget about it and move on amicably than suffer through this suffocating awkwardness.

A knock on the kitchen door grabs the attention of the room, and you stand up to answer it, surprised when Dumbledore is on the other side of it.

"Dumbledore!" you exclaim, opening the door wider for him to enter. "Wasn't expecting you tonight."

He steps inside, smiling politely at you. "Yes, I do apologise for coming unannounced… Sirius, I would like a word with you, if you don't mind."

Mrs Weasley drops her cloth into the sink, brushing off her hands and seizing hold of Arthur's arm quickly. "It's getting late, we should be getting to bed. Goodnight, everyone."

"Night," you say to them, watching as they scurry out of the basement kitchen as quick as possible and close it behind them. Glancing between Dumbledore and Sirius, you feel a slight awkwardness creep through you. You clear your throat. "Should I go?"

"No," they say at the same time, eyes focused on each other.

Great.

You mentally prepare yourself for the argument that's bound to begin when these two start talking. You busy yourself in the kitchen, doing nothing really but pretend to look occupied as Sirius starts the conversation.

"Well, what did you want to talk to me about?"

"Harry's hearing on Thursday," Dumbledore replies, as you mindlessly adjust cups in the press without them needing it.

"And? What about it?"

There's a pause, the only noise being you clinking cups against each other aimlessly. "I expect you would like to accompany Harry, but I am afraid I must tell you that I do not think you should."

"I can't say I'm surprised to hear you think that," Sirius says, a slight bitterness lining the edges of his voice. "But I'm sure you understand that I think I should. He's going to a Ministry hearing, he could do with the moral support."

"He will have moral support from Mr Weasley, who will be bringing him to and from his hearing," Dumbledore answers calmly. "It is far too dangerous for you to leave this house, Sirius, even in your animagus form."

"I'll be careful. I just want to help his nerves — "

"I cannot let you," Dumbledore says, more firm this time. "Not only do I think you shouldn't, I know you shouldn't. It is not worth the risk."

You look up as Sirius glances at you, and Dumbledore follows his eyeline expectantly.

"I'll go with him, Sirius, don't worry," you say with a sympathetic smile. You know how much he was looking forward to getting out of the house. "I'll make sure he's alright."

"I am sorry to say I must tell you to stay here as well, professor," Dumbledore says slowly, and you blink at him in confusion.

"I...I don't understand. I'm not on the run, why can't I go with my godson?"

"Suspicions will be raised if you are spotted within the Ministry," Dumbledore says, looking at you. The prolonged eye contact is making you uncomfortable, and you nervously avoid his gaze and focus on the wooden table before you. "It is best that Harry's visit draws as little attention as possible."

"Then I'll wear a disguise," you reply simply.

"As who?"

You bring yourself to meet his eyes, blue and expectant as he silently waits for you to offer an answer: one that you don't have. "As...uh, a Ministry worker bringing him to his hearing, of course."

You think you might imagine the slight surprise that widens Dumbledore's eyes by a fraction, but it's gone when he shakes his head. "Too risky. I direct the two of you to stay here during his hearing, and not to go with him."

You look at Sirius, your eyes communicating every frustration you're currently feeling — he looks the exact same. You're so sick of having arguments and never getting what you want out of them.

You bite your lip, sighing defeatedly. "Right, fine. We'll stay."

✧⁠*⁠。✧⁠*⁠。

After a disgustingly early start on Thursday morning, you wish Harry the best of luck in his hearing and watch as he and Mr Weasley leave the house for the Ministry. You make an effort to keep yourself and Sirius as busy as possible, working on cleaning and redoing the drawing room again.

You run a cloth along the piano, catching the dust and revealing the shiny black surface hiding beneath the grime. You sit down on the bench, pushing it closer to the instrument with your heels and start to play whatever comes to mind, an old classical tune you've forgotten the name of.

When you finish, Sirius comes to join you, placing his hand on your shoulder. "Beautiful. What's it called?"

You shrug, smiling sheepishly at him. "I forget. I'm a bit rusty, to be honest."

"Doesn't sound like that to me," he says, motioning for you to scoot over so he can sit beside you on the bench. "Could you teach me something?"

"You never played?" You say, surprised. "I would've thought this was here for you to play."

Sirius chuckles softly, shaking his head. "It was more my mother. She always wanted me to play, but I refused, of course. Regulus was far better than me — he used to play while she did her embroidery."

You scoff. "Her embroidery? It was the 70s, not the 1800s."

"My parents did not get the memo, apparently." He nudges you with his shoulder, smiling playfully at you. "Come on, teach me something, professor."

You spend the next hour teaching him the basics, gently placing your hands on his and slowly leading him through a simple piece, laughing at the intense look of concentration on his face.

"What are you giggling at?" he says with a grin, looking back at you.

"Nothing, you're just so concentrated," you giggle, beaming.

"Well, it's actually quite difficult, you know...everyone has to start somewhere!" he says in mock offense.

You hum, pouting dramatically at him. "And you're starting off very well." You peck his lips, patting his shoulder as you swing your legs over the bench and stand up. "Come on, Mozart, I think I heard the front door open."

When you enter the kitchen, the atmosphere is very much celebratory as Ron high-fives Harry hard, a great big grin on his face.

"Cleared!" Harry says to you and Sirius, beaming, "of all charges!"

You feel the weight lift from your shoulders and grin at him. "Oh, wonderful, Harry!"

Sirius claps Harry hard on the back, beaming proudly at him. "Knew you'd pull through."

When Harry turns away, however, you don't miss the way Sirius's smile falters and is replaced by a small look of disappointment, before he regains his composure and smiles again. You find his hand and squeeze it comfortingly.

"Listen, you guys, Lucius Malfoy was at the Ministry — " Mr Weasley starts, and you both immediately turn your attention to Arthur.

"What?" you say sharply.

"Yes, we saw him talking to Fudge on level nine, then they went up to Fudge's office together," Mr Weasley replies. "Dumbledore ought to know."

"Absolutely," Sirius says. "We'll tell him, don't worry."

Lucius Malfoy. If Fudge stopped to think for a second why Lucius Malfoy keeps donating so much gold to the Ministry, surely he'd realise that it's not out of the goodness of his lovely pureblood heart?

Dinner passes pleasantly, everyone in high spirits after Harry's great escape from expulsion. Sirius, however, seems more downcast than usual and you're pretty sure you know the reason.

He heads to bed much earlier than everyone else, finishing his meal and bidding everyone goodnight. While everyone else celebrates and chats happily at the table around you, you chew on your lip thoughtfully.

You wait a while before heading up to bed after Sirius, wanting to give him time to himself to think over everything. However, when you open the door to his bedroom you find it empty, and immediately go looking for him. It's only when you enter the master bedroom, where Buckbeak is being kept, that you find your husband, sitting on the floor next to the hippogriff, stroking his feathers absent-mindedly.

"Here you are," you say softly, shutting the door behind you. "Hello, Buckbeak."

Buckbeak cocks his head in your direction curiously, clicking his beak in greeting.

Sirius looks up when you enter, clearing his throat. "Hello."

You make your way over, sitting next to him on the floor. You don't say anything for a few moments, the room quiet and still, before you take a deep breath and start talking. "I know you're disappointed Harry is going away to Hogwarts again."

He doesn't respond, sighing.

"But it was going to happen," you continue, your voice soft and gentle. "That's where he's happiest."

"I know," he says quietly. "I know that. I just...hoped I'd get more time with him. Longer than a few weeks."

You hum, laying your head on his shoulder. "Me too."

"But you'll get to see him anyway," he continues. "Come September, you'll both be gone back to Hogwarts."

You shake your head, offering him a small smile. "I'm not going back to Hogwarts in September, Sirius. I'm staying here."

His expression brightens for a moment, before he seems to remind himself of something and shakes his head. "But you love your job. You're always talking about how much you love teaching."

"I do," you answer truthfully. "But I love you more. I could never live with myself if I knew I had the choice of going back to work or being with you, and I chose my job. I've had a good thirteen years of working there, and I'd like to make up for all the time we have missed out on together instead."

Sirius looks at you as if it's taking every bit of resolve in him to say this. "I want you to go back."

"You don’t seem too convinced.”

He exhales deeply, closing his eyes for a moment. "I want you there, to look out for Harry. To keep him safe."

"Hogwarts is where he's safest, Sirius," you say. "Dumbledore will be there, he knows best how to protect him — "

"But he's not you," he says simply, his eyes serious. "Dumbledore can protect him, sure, but Harry trusts you. He knows he can go to you for anything. I think that's what he needs most this year."

You sigh, kissing your teeth quietly. "I don't want you to be alone."

"But you know I'm right."

You chuckle humourlessly, shaking your head. "I hate it when you're right."

He pulls you into him, kissing your temple. "I know."

✧⁠*⁠。✧⁠*⁠。

"So, any girls, Harry?"

Sirius raises his eyebrows at the boy, everyone else in the room distracted by their own separate conversations and activities. They had previously been discussing Harry's life at the Dursleys, and now Sirius thinks it is high time for him to impart as much (god)fatherly wisdom he can on the lad.

"What?" Harry's face is the picture of confusion.

"You can't tell me there isn't someone you've got your eye on," Sirius continues with a cheeky grin. "Girl, boy, maybe there's more than one — so come on, tell me, what's going on?"

Harry laughs nervously, shaking his head. "There's no one."

Sirius raises his eyebrows at him, unbelieving.

"Okay, there's one girl."

Sirius grins triumphantly, laughing. "I knew it! You make any moves yet?"

"What? No."

"In that case, let me impart some of my endless wisdom," Sirius says theatrically. "Now, Harry, if you're going to listen to anything I say to you now, it best be this: never lie to a woman. Okay? Simple." He brings his hand up to begin listing things off his fingers. "It'll never work, they always know. And if they don't know straight away, they'll find out you lied eventually, and then it'll be even worse for you. It never ends well. I mean — have you ever tried to lie to my wife?"

Harry thinks for a moment, shaking his head. "No?"

"Think again, you're sure you've never lied about your homework or something like that?" Sirius pushes.

Harry thinks again, remembering the time he tried to lie to you about his scar being painful in fourth year. "Wait, I have, actually."

"And did she believe you?"

"No."

Sirius nods gravely. "She is impossible to lie to. I don't know how, but she just sees through it every time — it's impressive, really."

"I hope you're not gossiping about me."

Looking up, Sirius spots you sitting down into the chair beside him, just returning from your guard duty that night.

He smiles. "Never, darling."

You hum, giving him an unimpressed look. "Nice try."

Sirius looks at Harry, raising his eyebrows with a laugh. "See? I told you." He shakes his head, smiling at you. "I've just been giving Harry some advice on girls, that's all."

You snort, giving him an incredulous look. "Girl advice? Sirius, please, you know nothing about women."

"What? I know plenty!" he says defensively, but still in good humour. "I knew enough to get you to marry me."

You smile sympathetically at him, patting his cheek. "That's actually not true, I'm afraid, because I married you for your money."

"Oh, really?"

"Uh-huh."

You look at each other, grinning, before bursting into laughter. When your chuckles finally subside, you look at Harry again. "Seriously, though, Harry, don't listen to Sirius. You don't want to do anything he or your father ever did to get a girl to like them."

"It still worked!" Sirius defends. "We both got to marry the women we loved."

"What did my dad do?" Harry asks curiously, and you laugh.

"What didn't your dad do?" you say. "Actually, do you want to hear the story of how I even became friends with your dad? And Sirius too, by connection — but it was really all James's doing in the end."

"I want to hear this too!" Hermione chimes in, who before had been talking to Remus with Ron.

"What's this?" Remus asks, a curious smile playing on his features.

"How we became friends in fourth year," you explain, and Remus instantly nods in acknowledgment.

"Oh yes, James and his ways."

You clear your throat, grinning. "Now, if I can have your full attention..."

♡*⁠。♡*⁠。

January, 1975

You walk along the corridor, a letter clutched in your hands, making your way to the owlery when a voice calls your name.

You recognise the voice, and with an agitated sigh, you continue walking and ignore it. He calls again, before you hear his footsteps pounding along the floor behind you and he skids to a stop beside you, bumping your shoulder.

"Potter? What do you want?"

James Potter falls into step beside you, grinning, his face red and his glasses askew from running. You can't say you're particularly fond of him, considering how he annoys Lily every single day and bullies her friend, Severus. Any enemy of Lily's is an enemy of yours.

"So quick to anger!" he exclaims dramatically. "So demanding!"

You grit your teeth. "What do you want, James?"

"Listen, listen..." he places a hand on your shoulder, pulling you aside. "Now, you and I haven't always seen eye-to-eye, for reasons unknown — "

You scoff.

" — but despite this, I have a trade — a proposal, if you will — of a lifetime to offer you!"

You raise your eyebrows at him again, thoroughly unimpressed.

"I suggest this — trade me a date with Lily, and I'll send you an invitation to the wedding. Sound good?"

He stretches out his hands, wiggling them theatrically and you burst into derisive laughter, shaking your head.

"Oh...you're funny, James, I'll give you that," you say, moving to walk away when he grabs your arm again.

"Wait, wait, listen to me," he says desperately. "Look, I really like Lily, and you're the only one who can help me. You’re her best friend.”

"What about Alice?"

He frowns, rubbing the back of his neck. "She used some…colourful language to tell me she will not be helping me."

You nod. "Sounds about right." You sigh, rubbing your forehead. "Look, James, if you really like Lily then stop being such an ass about it."

"What?"

"You're too cocky, James, and you're mean," you say. "Just actually talk to her yourself, no bullshit. And let Alice and me get some peace, yeah?" 

You finally manage to leave him now, turning and making your way up to the owlery to post your letter. 

If there's one thing about James Potter, it's that he doesn't know how to follow good advice. Sure, talking to Lily would be all fine and dandy if she wanted anything to do with him, but unfortunately for James, she did not. No, to James, this romance is a multi-level scheme, a plan, and you were key to his success.

The best friend angle, he calls it. If he can convince you that he's a decent guy, good enough to date Lily, you can then convince her to go out with him! All he needs is one teeny, tiny little date and James believes that Lily will fall head-over-heels in love with him, and they'll live happily ever after for years to come. 

But he can't go talking himself up to you — you'd never believe it for a second. So he sends the next best thing: his best friend. 

One morning, on your way to Potions, your bag decides to unceremoniously rip and fall to the ground, sending your belongings skittering along the dungeon floor. 

"Oh, no! Do you want some help?" Alice asks, stopping in her tracks. 

You shake your head, glancing at your watch. "No, it's fine. You'll be late — save me a seat!" 

Alice and Lily quickly head into the classroom while you throw everything back into your bag, cursing at the textbook that's now been covered in ink from one of your inkwells and how you've got dark ink all over your hands now. You repair your bag with a wave of your wand, and hurry into the classroom. 

Professor Horace Slughorn looks at you in surprise as you enter and you smile sheepishly. 

"Sorry, professor, my bag split..."

"Nothing to worry about, my dear! Take a seat," Slughorn booms cheerfully. 

You look around, trying to locate Lily and Alice and the seat they were supposed to have saved you, only to find it's been taken by someone else — conveniently the boy Alice has been pining over for the past few weeks. You stare, betrayed, at Alice, who shrugs and mouths, "I'm sorry!"

You scoff quietly, glaring at the boy and wandering to the only empty seat left, which happens to be right beside Sirius Black. He looks up, raising his eyebrows and smirking at you as you sigh, dropping into the seat beside him. 

"Well, aren't I lucky to have you sit beside me?" 

"Truly." You glance around and click your tongue thoughtfully. "Trouble in paradise, Sirius? Looks like your girlfriend kicked you out."

You point at James, who is sitting beside Peter and Remus on the other side of the room.

"Is there something wrong with wanting to sit with someone new?" Sirius says, lowering his voice as Slughorn begins his teaching. "A very pretty someone, might I add."

"Save it for James," you mutter, unimpressed. This isn't the first time Sirius has tried his charms on you, and you're not in the mood for it right now. 

"Today we will be brewing a hair-raising potion," Slughorn says, smiling happily at the students. "Now, we'll start by chopping up 5 grams of porcupine quills — "

"Speaking of James..." Sirius starts, ignoring Slughorn. "What do you think of him? What are your thoughts?"

"I think he's a git." You turn pointedly away from him, focusing on Slughorn again. You give him a confused look when you notice he's not paying attention to Slughorn at all. "Don't you want to find out how to brew this potion?"

He shrugs casually. "I've already made it before, it's not difficult."

Though you really want to ignore him and listen to Slughorn, your curiosity gets the best of you and you turn to him again. "Why have you made a hair-raising potion before?"

He grins at you. "We put it in Filch's goblet on Halloween. Although, we may have gotten some measurements wrong — "

"That was you?" You say in disbelief, a shocked laugh escaping your lips. "You're the reason Filch lost half his hair?" 

"Well, me and James — and also Peter and Remus," he replies, grinning proudly. 

You sigh, shaking your head with an amused smile. "Right. Well…I haven't made it before, so if you don't mind, I'd like to listen to my teacher now."

" — next, add the rat tails slowly, mixing the potion counter-clockwise as the tails are added, and it should turn to this sort of blue colour — cerulean, I would say...or perhaps it is more of a sky blue — " 

"Really, though, about James..." Sirius interrupts quietly, distracting you again. "He's a good guy. Got a good heart, a real romantic. Don't you want Lily to go out with someone who really cares about her?"

You scoff. "Did James set you up for this? Seriously? He's more desperate than I thought—"

"Which just shows how much he cares," Sirius says, ever the loyal friend. 

"It shows how much of a coward he is," you hiss, your face the picture of attention when Slughorn's gaze flits to your desk to make sure you're listening. "He's too scared to talk to Lily himself."

"Because she hates him!" He sighs, looking at you, eyes big and pleading. "You just need to get to know him, then you'll see — what about this? Hang out with us tomorrow. Spend the whole day with us, and then tell me what you think."

You raise your eyebrows at him, shaking your head. 

"Unless..." a smirk tugs at his lips. "Unless you're scared of being wrong. Scared that you might actually like us."

And, despite knowing that this is definitely not worth your time, despite knowing that he only said that to goad you, you bite. 

"Fine. One day, that's all you get," you relent, and Sirius grins triumphantly. "But — if I don't like him by the end of it, you have to do my potions homework for a month!"

"Done." He holds his hand out for you to shake, grinning smugly at you, and you take it, letting go quickly. "And when I say the whole day, I mean the whole day. You can't go running off to Lily and Alice at all, you're stuck with us."

You give him a pained smile, gritting your teeth. "Can't wait."

♡*⁠。♡*⁠。

"You make me sound so bad in that story," Sirius complains when you finish and you laugh.

"That's how you were!" you defend. "Right, Remus?" 

Remus smiles appreciatively, nodding. "I'm afraid so."

"Did it work?" Hermione asks curiously. "What did you think of James by the end of it?" 

You laugh, grinning at her. "Oh, nothing changed, and Sirius had to do my Potions work for the month, as agreed" — Sirius rolls his eyes " — but I did have a lot of fun, and we became friends. By fifth year, we were all as thick as thieves." 

"Did you really not like my dad?" Harry says, brows furrowed. 

You give him a reassuring smile, shaking your head. "Not at the beginning, no. Lily didn't like him, so I didn't like him either. But after that torturous day spent with the lot of them, he really grew on me and now I can't picture Lily with anyone else. You really wouldn't meet another couple more perfect for each other."

"Except for us, of course," Sirius adds. 

You nod, an obvious look on your face. "Oh, obviously. We are unbeatable." You tap your chin thoughtfully, racking your brains for another story to tell. "What else can I tell you..."

"How about the time you punched Lucius Malfoy?" Remus offers, casually taking a sip from his goblet. 

The trio's jaws drop, and you turn and stare at Remus accusingly, who smiles innocently at you over his goblet. 

Sirius laughs beside you. "An excellent story!"

You shake your head frantically, glaring at Remus. "I really don't think this is the story they need to hear — "

"We wanna hear it!" Harry says, grinning and nodding at his two friends. 

"I — I don't even remember — "

"I do," Sirius says, smirking at you. He clears his throat dramatically. "Your godmother hated Lucius Malfoy at school, Harry. Absolutely hated him, and for good reason too, 'cause he was a prick — but one day he was picking on her, trying to wind her up, and he said something bad about Lily and bam, she just punched him right in the middle of Herbology, no hesitation."

Harry, Ron, and Hermione stare at you in shock and you wince, shaking your head. "That makes me sound awful."

"One of the best days of my life," Sirius says with a proud grin. "You broke his nose, didn't you?" 

"Yep," you nod, kissing your teeth. "Got myself a month's worth of detention, too. Professor McGonagall was furious with me."

"Wicked," Ron says in awe. 

"You should've seen the look on his face," Sirius continues gleefully. "He was too afraid to speak to her for weeks."

You shake your head vigorously. "I'd like to stop talking about this."

"Oh, stop pretending like you regret it," Sirius says with a scoff, laughing. "You're proud of it — and you should be, he needed to be taken down a peg."

"Oh, well…” you glance at Remus. “At least I didn't eat a butterfly."

Remus stares back at you in shock, his cheeks reddening. "I was six! And I told you that in confidence!"

"You...you ate a butterfly?" Harry repeats and Remus hangs his head in shame. 

"I'm not proud of it. It was an accident and I cried for a month after it happened. I...I can never look at butterflies the same."

You and Sirius burst into laughter, while Remus scowls, his face a dark shade of crimson.

He gives Sirius an accusatory look. "You can't say anything, Sirius, when you only took O.W.L. Astronomy because she was taking it."

You snort, looking at Sirius in surprise. "Really? I thought you liked it."

"Hated it," Sirius admits. "I thought it'd be nice and easy, looking at stars and planets and all that but it was actually pretty difficult, and you loved it — you used to go on these long excited rambles about astronomy and I never had any idea what you were talking about."

"I really thought you liked it!" you say sheepishly. "If you didn't like it, why didn't you tell me? Could've escaped my rambles."

He shrugs, smiling at you. "I liked hearing you talk."

You raise your eyebrows, folding your arms. "Didn't like hearing me talk when you put that potion in the showers, did you?"

Remus and Sirius grin at each other. 

"It's not like you were the only target!" Sirius says defensively, still laughing. 

"What?" Harry asks, puzzled, and you give the chortling Sirius a shove. 

"The boys thought they were so funny." You scowl at Remus, though you don't really mean it. "One day, they slipped a potion into the Gryffindor showers that caused anyone who used them to have to walk around with a giant bubble around their head for the rest of the day. It was awful."

Ron and Harry start laughing and you sigh, shaking your head. 

"It was very funny, to be fair," Sirius says cheekily and you roll your eyes. 

"Oh, shut it." 

You, Sirius, and Remus spend the rest of the evening telling the kids the best stories of your school days, and your chest burns from laughter by the end of it. 

"Remember the night we snuck out?"

"Or when James sneezed and nearly fell off his broom!"

"You can't forget the time Alice tripped, fell into Flitwick, and knocked him over!" 

When Mrs Weasley finally puts a stop to your story-telling and makes the kids go to bed, you linger, sitting contentedly between Sirius and Remus. You drape your arms across their shoulders, pulling them into you with a sigh. "I love you two, you know that? I don't know what I'd do without you."

You mean it, too. You're so happy to be back to some semblance of normal, where you get to see Sirius every day and wake up next to him after so long apart, where you finally get to tell people these stories without worrying about what they'll think, where you get to laugh and joke with Remus and talk about nothing at all. 

You're with your family again.

✧⁠*⁠。✧⁠*⁠。

“I thought we’d have a little party, not a sit-down dinner,” Mrs Weasley says cheerfully, as she hangs a scarlet banner over the dinner table that reads: Congratulations Ron and Hermione — New Prefects.

The kids had received their book lists this morning, the last day of the summer holidays,  which you find quite odd as the book list is usually out far earlier in the year. With the lists, Ron and Hermione receive shiny new prefect badges and Mrs Weasley has been on cloud nine ever since. When you join her in Diagon Alley to get everyone’s books and supplies, she talks and talks of how proud she is of her youngest son and how wonderful it is that he was chosen. You think it’s sweet.

The town is bustling of course, with parents and children scrambling to get their books and school supplies before the term starts. You meet several of your students and their parents and stop many times to chat and catch up with them – even spending a good while talking to Neville and his grandmother, who has always struck you as an interesting woman. She is one of the few people who had actually trusted you after Sirius’s imprisonment and always appreciates the time you spend visiting Frank and Alice in St Mungo’s.

“Your father and Bill are on the way, Ron, I’ve sent them both owls and they’re thrilled.”

The table is piled high with food and drink, the room buzzing with celebration and cheer. Remus approaches you and Sirius, goblets in hand for the both of you. 

“All set for tomorrow, then?” he asks you, handing you your goblet. 

“Think so,” you answer with a shrug, taking a sip from your wine. “I’m glad I went to Diagon Alley weeks ago, it was absolutely mad today — all the good parchment and quills were gone.”

Nearby, Moody sets his normal eye on Ron and growls, “Prefect, eh? Well, congratulations. Authority figures always attract trouble, but I suppose Dumbledore thinks you can withstand most major jinxes or he wouldn’t have appointed you…”

Ron looks quite startled at this view and quickly leaves to go welcome Arthur and Bill Weasley, who have just arrived, accompanied by Mundungus in a weirdly lumpy overcoat that he seems adamant to keep on — no doubt housing another unique business venture in his pockets.

“Well, I think a toast is in order,” Mr Weasley announces, once everyone has a drink. He raises his goblet, beaming. “To Ron and Hermione, the new Gryffindor prefects!”

You grin at the pair of them, drinking to them and then applauding. As you reach for something to eat on the table, you beam at the pair of them. “Congrats, you two. I was never a prefect myself, that was Lily’s job — our teachers reckoned I wasn’t a good fit.”

“Why did they think that?” Ginny asks curiously. 

“‘Cause I found rules impossible to follow.”

Ginny laughs, and Hermione looks unsure of whether she should smile or frown at this, and instead chooses to take a large gulp from her butterbeer and chokes on it. 

“What about you, Sirius?” Ginny says, thumping the coughing Hermione on the back. 

Sirius lets out a bark of laughter, shaking his head. “No one would have made me a prefect, I spent too much time in detention with James. Remus was the good boy, he got the badge.”

“I think Dumbledore might have hoped that I would be able to exercise some control over my best friends,” says Remus. “I need scarcely say that I failed dismally.”

Soon, Ron is gushing about his new broom to anyone who’ll listen. His mother has bought him a broomstick as a present for his new status. “Nought to seventy in ten seconds, not bad, is it? When you think the Comet Two-Ninety only does nought to sixty and that’s with a decent tailwind according to Which Broomstick?”

“Why didn’t Dumbledore make Potter a prefect?” Kingsley Shacklebolt is saying quietly to Remus, though his deep voice is audible even in chatter. 

“He’ll have had his reasons,” Remus replies. 

“But it would’ve shown confidence in him. It’s what I’d’ve done,” Kingsley continues. “Especially with the Daily Prophet having a go at him every few days…”

You think that perhaps it’s best to keep Harry out of the limelight as much as possible. Your heart aches with sympathy for him — an orphan boy raised with his spiteful relations, without any knowledge of the wizarding world until his eleventh birthday, and then being thrust into a world where everyone knows his name and his story better than he does. A boy who met two different versions of Voldemort in his first two years, then watched him come back to life at fourteen, and witnessed the death of his classmate. A boy who is currently being vilified by the media and the government simply for telling the truth, and a boy who has to live in fear for his life all because he survived death as a baby. 

At the end of the day, he’s just a boy. He’s just a child. 

If you could take it all on for him, you would. You would do it in a heartbeat. 

“You alright?”

Sirius taps the tip of your nose gently with his finger, looking inquisitively at you. You shake yourself out of the thoughtful daze you had gotten yourself in, and smile at him. 

“Perfect. Just thinking, that’s all.” 

“About what?” 

You glance at Harry out of the corner of your eye, who catches your eye and looks away quickly, acting as though he isn’t eavesdropping as he makes his way over to Moody. You turn back to Sirius, placing your hands in the back pockets of your jeans with a shrug. “D’you remember all the things the prefects used to get? The fancy baths in the bathroom, the private compartment on the train, the mitching class for meetings…”

“Didn’t need to be a prefect for the last one, did we?” Sirius says with a cheeky grin, and you chuckle. 

“Well, we certainly didn’t, no.”

After a while, everyone begins to filter out of the basement and upstairs to their beds. You follow Moody as he hobbles down the hallway towards the doorway. 

“You’re welcome to stay, y’know,” you whisper, conscious of the sleeping portraits on the wall. 

Moody leans on his staff with both hands, raising his eyebrows at you. “And wait for that house-elf of yours to strangle me in my sleep? No thanks.”

You snort, scoffing. “If Kreacher was going to strangle anyone in their sleep, what makes you think it’d be you?” 

“I’ve seen the looks he gives me — there’s murderous intent in those eyes,” Moody growls, good eye wide in warning. 

Sirius shrugs. “He has that intent for everyone, trust me — “

He stops as a muffled yell is heard from upstairs, and without hesitating you sprint up the stairs to the drawing room with Sirius, Moody, and Remus following close behind you.

“What’s going on?” 

Running into the room, you freeze when you spot Mrs Weasley cowering in the corner of the room, her hand trembling violently as she points her wand at a figure in the middle of the room: Harry, lying dead on the carpet. 

Remus pulls out his wand immediately, saying, “Riddikulus!”

Harry’s body vanishes, replaced by a shiny full moon hovering in the centre of the room. Remus waves his wand once more and the moon vanishes. 

Mrs Weasley breaks into a fit of sobbing, her face in her hands as her body shakes. 

“Molly,” Remus says bleakly, striding over to her, “Molly, don’t…”

You stare at the patch of carpet where the boggart pretending to be Harry’s lifeless body had just been, fighting the urge to vomit.

“It was just a boggart,” Remus says soothingly as Mrs Weasley buries her head in his shoulder, sobbing. “Just a stupid boggart…”

“I see them d-d-dead all the time!” she cries into his shoulder. “All the t-time! I d-dream about it!”

You force yourself to tear your eyes off the carpet, shaking your head to remove the image of Harry dead, but it sticks sickeningly permanent in your mind despite your efforts. Looking around, you see the real, alive Harry standing, panting, at the side of the room. You feel a rush of relief at the sight of him alive. 

“D-don’t tell Arthur,” Mrs Weasley chokes, rubbing her eyes desperately with her sleeve. “I d-don’t want him to know…being silly…”

Remus hands her a handkerchief and she blows her nose loudly. 

“Harry, I’m so sorry, what must you think of me?” she says shakily. “Not even able to get rid of a boggart…”

“Don’t be stupid,” Harry says with a weak smile. 

“I’m just s-so worried,” she says, tears streaming down her face. “Half the f-family’s in the Order, it’ll b-be a miracle if we all come through this…and P-Percy’s not talking to us…what if something d-dreadful happens and we had never m-made up? And what’s going to happen if Arthur and I get killed, who’s g-going to look after Ron and Ginny?” 

“Molly, that’s enough,” Remus says firmly. “This isn’t like the last time. The Order is better prepared, we’ve got a head start, we know what Voldemort’s up to…”

She gives a squeak of fright at the name. 

“Oh, Molly, come on, it’s about time you got used to hearing it — look, I can’t promise no one’s going to get hurt, nobody can promise that, but we’re much better off than we were last time. You weren’t in the Order then, you don’t understand, last time we were outnumbered twenty to one by the Death Eaters and they were picking us off one by one…”

“Don’t worry about Percy,” you add gently. “He’ll come round. He’s still young and he hasn’t gotten the chance to realise that he needs his family more than his job yet.”

“And as for who’s going to look after Ron and Ginny if you and Arthur died,” Remus says, smiling slightly, “what do you think we’d do, let them starve?”

Mrs Weasley gives a watery smile. “Being silly.”

“Come on, Molly, why don’t you come downstairs and let me make you a cup of tea to help you relax?” you offer soothingly, leading her out of the drawing room. 

When you slip into bed some twenty minutes later, sleep escapes you for quite some time. The image of Harry’s unmoving body burns in your mind, a seed of worry gnawing at your gut. You dream of Harry’s corpse on the drawing room carpet and of Cedric’s lifeless face on the dewy grass of the quidditch pitch.

✧⁠*⁠。✧⁠*⁠。

->-> read chapter twenty-eight here!

-> all kinds of interaction appreciated ♡

thank you for all your patience, I know this chapter was a little slower than usual to come out. also sorry to anyone who read like half of this chapter because I accidentally posted it before it was finished and didn't realise for ages. love you all <33

HUGE thank you to my incredible taglist lovelies:

@mothraantics @wholelottalove05 @izuoyarmin @devoid-swanky @carpe000diem @mooonyxoxo @hyperspeedo @idkman5335 @elanna-elrondiel @murielisacertifieddilf @penelopied @jennifer0305 @imgondeletedis @wooyoungsrightsock @wolfdragon0424

[thenight-comes-down-likeheaven]

After my last post I still have some thoughts (this will be the last thing that I personally, will say about it. I still jave some reblogs about this in my drafts, but I'm not sure if I'll post them. Otherwise after this, it's back to our regularly scheduled programming aka worshitposting):

We need to remember that ultimately the song is about Vessel and him just wanting to be left alone, to be respected, to feel safe and retain his privacy. A lot of people are overlooking that and just admonishing themselves, when I don't think that's what he was trying to accomplish. Caramel is about the pressure of fame, the fear, and yes, even the gratitude, it is not him yelling at us and telling us how awful every single one of us is. It's about being a cog in the machine that is the music industry, being used by labels and fans alike, being cornered and put on a pedestal, held to an unattainable standard, having basic rights like privacy and respect stripped away because you have a platform. He acknowledges this, seemingly sarcastically, "guess that's what I get for tryin to hide in the limelight / guess that's what I get for havin twenty-twenty hindsight". It's never been his fault that people can't leave well enough alone. Even so, it all affects him, "can I get a mirror sidestage / lookin sideways at my own visage gettin worse / ... / the deepest incisions / I thought I got better, but maybe I didn't". Those are HIS feelings about ALL of it, he is letting us see them, the issues he is having, and most of those issues are beyond any aid or comfort we as fans and most importantly STRANGERS could offer.

I keep seeing people online selling their tickets and merch, saying they're going to stop posting about the band and so many other self important and performative forms of guilt that only come from not truly seeing the point of all of this. "And if you don't think I mean it, then I understand / but I'm still glad you came, so let me see those hands" Vessel is not telling us to leave and never come back. He is calling out the bad behaviour, the harrassment, the entitlement, the people saying he fakes the emotion, that exploit his pain or think he's faking it, yes; but it is also clear he wants those of who care to stay here, he wants to keep doing what he loves, even if it's getting hard to do so, "stick to me like caramel / walk beside me til you feel nothin as well / fallin free of the final parallel / the sweetest dreams are bitter / but there's no one left to tell".

Obviously it's all taken it's toll. He appreciates what he has achieved, the good he has seen, we KNOW that, he has SHOWN us that, but hat doesn't mean that it makes the bad any easier for him to bare. It doesn't mean that it makes it any easier to look out at a crowd of people and wonder what they know (or think they know) about you, to look at those people cheering for you and think "Some of these people have made my life hell." It doesn't mean there aren't times that he is or has been afraid because of what those people have done, or times he wished it was all different, "this stage is a prison / a beautiful nightmare / ... / (in these days of days) tell me did I give you what you came for? / (I wish it all away) terrified to answer my own front door / (I thought things had changed) missin my wings in a realm of angels / (but everything's the same)".

But he'll keep writing and performing, because it is still what he loves even if it's becoming difficult, but if and when it gets to be too much, he'll be done, "a war of attrition / I'll take what I'm given". None of us WANT him to feel this way, he most definitely doesn't want to feel this way. To feel as though he's in a fight that will only end because he can't go on anymore. There isn't anything to be done about that other than to just respect the wishes and boundaries that have been alid out since the beginning. Their health and safety take priority over our desire for new music and mysteries.

I understand the want to make things better, for Vessel as well as ii, iii, and iv (as they probably all feel similarly), but the only thing we can do is to just leave them alone. If you really want to reach out, to let them know they are loved and supported, then leave a simple comment on one of their Instagram posts, or make a sign and bring it to your ritual. Be respectful, remember the golden rule "treat other how you want to be treated". In other words, don't say or do anything to them that you wouldn't want said or done to you. Let them have their privacy. Don't push their boundaries. Don't smother them with messages. Don't go hunting down their personal information. Treat them like the humans beings they are.

Keep going to rituals, keep buying merch, keep making art! Just be kind, remember that they are just guys doing their jobs. They don't owe any of us anything, wether they are on stage and in costume or not. I'll say it one more time: Be respectful, let them have their privacy. That's all they want.

[longwuzhere]

My Adventures with Superman Season 2 Easter Eggs

WHAT A FANTASTIC FINALE! HOLY SHIT! I TEARED UP SEVERAL TIMES AND MY GOD WAS THIS SUCH A GOOD FINAL EPISODE FOR SEASON 2!!!! This may be the last Easter Eggs post, episode wise, but we still have the other 4 issues of the comic so come back here each month for that and also at the end I'll give you some recommendations to keep you occupied til season 3 gets a premiere date.

My Easter eggs lists for season 1 is here if you haven't seen it!

My season 2 episode 1 Easter eggs and references in My Adventures with Superman post is here

My season 2 episode 2 Easter eggs and references in My Adventures with Superman post is here

My season 2 episode 3 Easter eggs and references in My Adventures with Superman post is here

My Easter eggs and references in My Adventures with Superman comic issue 1 post is here

My season 2 episode 4 Easter eggs and references in My Adventures with Superman post is here

My season 2 episode 5 Easter eggs and references in My Adventures with Superman post is here

My season 2 episode 6 Easter eggs and references in My Adventures with Superman post is here

My Easter eggs and references for My Adventures with Superman comic issue 2 post is here

My season 2 episode 7 Easter eggs and references in My Adventures with Superman post is here

My season 2 episode 8 Easter eggs and references in My Adventures with Superman post is here

My season 2 episode 9 Easter eggs and references in My Adventures with Superman post is here

My Easter eggs and references for My Adventures with Superman comic issue 3 post is here

Spoilers if you haven't seen the episode

Starting things off the episode title is My Adventures with Supergirl. An obvious nod to the show title, but also good way to acknowledge the journey we had with Kara whether its seeing her past, what she did under Brainiac's control, and what our trio will do to help Kara be free from Brainiac.

Makes sense that Henshaw is part of the Human Defense Corp (or Squadron in this case) and it looks like the fool dies so maybe Cyborg Superman in the future who know, but I talked about the Human Defense Corp here and Hank Henshaw here.

As Superman and Kara lie on the street thanks to the Metallos and Brainiac's control over them, we see them get saved by the Intergang and Livewire and Heatwave! I talked more about Intergang here and Livewire and Heatwave here and here respectively.

Later in the scene Roughhouse makes a subtle reference to Lobo, but "the Main Man" in this case is referring to General Sam Lane. But if Lobo shows up in a future season, I'll talk more about him, and god I want to see him show up so bad!

Over where Lois, Jimmy, and Steve are, the Metallos chase after them and are saved by Dr. John Henry Irons a.k.a. Steel! I talked more about him here. I'd love to see him wear the helmet like his comic counterpart and the red cape in a future episode.

Later in the episode Superman, Kara, Intergang, Livewire, Heatwave, and Steel attack Brainiac's station and were able to break though his defenses and as they enter Brainiac's chamber, Brainiac activates Kara's brainwashing saying "Eradicator Override"

If you know your Superman comics, the Eradicator was first mentioned in Action Comics Annual #2 (1989) [W: Roger Stern, Jerry Ordway, George Perez, P: Mike Mignola, I: George Perez, C: Glenn Whitmore, L: Bill Oakley] where it was a weapon that was used to kill the Cleric on Krypton who was spreading his message about peace and the unethical uses of cloning on Krypton.

The weapon would later be found by Superman and it caused more problems for him until he threw it away in Antarctica where it created the Fortress of Solitude.

Later during the death of Superman, the Eradicator would emerge as an energy being who takes on the visage of Superman, take Clark's body back to the Fortress so he can heal, and would be one of the four Supermen who took over for Superman at that time. This version of the Eradicator first appeared in Action Comics #687 (1993) [W: Roger Stern, P: Jackson Guice, I: Denis Rodier, C: Glenn Whitmore, L: Bill Oakley]

When we see Kara fight Superman under the control of Brainiac later, she has red eyes just like the Eradicator in the comics as shown here in the panel from Superman #82 (1993) [W&P: Dan Jurgens, I: Brett Breeding, C: Glenn Whitmore, L: John Costanza].

Later in the episode, Clark, Lois, and Jimmy try to calm Kara and help her fight against Brainiac's influence and they succeed (also had me tear up in that moment too) and shout out Kara's Canary Cry! Black Canary would be proud AF!

After pushing back on Brainiac's station Clark and Kara battle Brainiac in space and Brainiac monologues about Krypton's destruction and his excuse of existing. He activates the weapon that destroyed Krypton, the Black Zero Protocol.

The first and only known version of Black Zero that destroyed Krypton was in Superman #205 (1968) [W: Otto Binder, P&I: Al Plastino] where the saboteur was hired to destroy Krypton by accelerating the internal planetary stresses that caused the planet to explode. He was planning on doing the same to the Earth before Superman stopped him. Other iterations and uses of the Black Zero name include, a Kryptonian Terrorist Group that created a computer virus of the same name that infected the Fortress of Solitude, a clone of Conner Kent, and a Kryptonian military group.

After Kara took the hit and plunged into the sun, she and Clark are saved thanks to their Kryptonian physiology because they get their powers from the Sun. You notice their Kryptonite scarring/veins glow a gold color bringing to mind...

Superman Prime One Million from DC Million #4 (1998) [P: Val Semekis, I: Prentis Rollins, C: Pat Garrahy & Heroic Age] who is OG Superman after outliving all his family and friends traveled throughout the DC universe and absorbing the Sun's radiant energy for like hundreds of years where his powers are now near infinite levels giving him this gold look. This version of Superman according to Grant Morrison is the same as the one in All-Star Superman.

In a Kryptonian religious sense, you could argue that Rao, the sun god of the Kryptonians, saved his last two people from death and giving them power to fight against Brainiac.

The MAwS crew really love their DBZ cuz the sun aura Clark and Kara give off is the same vibe as what Super Saiyans have when they power up.

We then see Kara and Clark glow a red and blue aura respectively which, I might be reading into it a lot, could be symbolic of Nightwing and Flamebird, the Kryptonian gods/heroes/dragons and the identities that Clark and Kara took up at one point in the comics with Clark taking up the Nightwing name and Kara taking up the Flamebird name. Also maybe its Superman Blue and Superman Red sorta deal who knows. It was cool though.

By the end of the episode we see people tuning to the aftermath of what happened and we see Channel 52 on display. I talked more about that here.

We then see Lex and Slade looking up on the LexCorp building. I talked more about LexCorp here but its first appearance in the comics is in The Man of Steel #2 (1986) [W&P: John Byrne, I: Dick Giordano, C: Tom Zuiko, L: John Costanza] as shown below:

Shout out to Clark still wearing the Stussy S/the cool S

and finally we close out the episode with Clark and Kara going to stop the fire at Perez Plaza, named after legendary artist George Perez.

George Perez is well known for his Wonder Woman run and being the co-creator of the Teen Titans in the 80s with Marv Wolfman. He helped design Lex Luthor's iconic battle suit (I really hope to see it in MAwS someday). Perez also had a run on the Superman comics too. He worked on Action Comics for a short while as penciler and did some breakdown work on the title. He also wrote and inked on the Adventure of Superman comics. Perez wrote, did the layouts, and drew the cover art for the 2011 Superman run. If you love the Teen Titans/Titans, like me, you gotta give thanks to this man.

DC in 2022 did a really awesome tribute to him by collaborating with other DC artists to show how much of an impact his career was on the DC universe give both images a look cuz its beautiful and you can see which artist did which character. Also check this video out and see George Perez work his art magic:

And with that our episodic look at the Easter Eggs and references come to an end, but we still have the other 4 issues of the My Adventures with Superman tie-in comic so come back here again in August for that.

In the mean time when we get a date for season 3 I highly recommend reading the My Adventures with Superman comics, read The Man of Steel (1986) limited series because a lot of pop culture's understanding of the Superman mythos and characters comes from that limited series, read the Death of Superman, A World Without Superman, and Reign of the Supermen because you will see how much of an impact Superman made defending Metropolis from Doomsday, his death affecting everyone he met, and his glorious return. Also give the DC Rebirth era of Superman comics a shot too because you get to see Lois and Clark raise a son. The DC Infinite Frontier Superman run that came after the Rebirth era is just as good that I highly recommend reading too. Out of continuity wise definitely check out Superman: Secret Identity, All-Star Superman, Kingdom Come, the current World's Finest run, and Superman vs the Amazing Spider-Man.

In terms of watching highly recommend watching Superman the Animated Series because that series is equally good to MAwS and it helped build out the DCAU which I also highly recommend everyone to dive into. Shin Ultraman (and hell basically all of the Ultraman media) because like Superman its an alien who defends the Earth, hides amongst the population and actually thinks human beings can live up to their potential. Tsuburaya's Ultraman and Superman would be damn good friends. If you need some goofy fun, the Super Friends is a fun watch if you need light hearted cartoons.

My Easter eggs lists for season 1 is here if you haven't seen it!

My season 2 episode 1 Easter eggs and references in My Adventures with Superman post is here

My season 2 episode 2 Easter eggs and references in My Adventures with Superman post is here

My season 2 episode 3 Easter eggs and references in My Adventures with Superman post is here

My Easter eggs and references in My Adventures with Superman comic issue 1 post is here

My season 2 episode 4 Easter eggs and references in My Adventures with Superman post is here

My season 2 episode 5 Easter eggs and references in My Adventures with Superman post is here

My season 2 episode 6 Easter eggs and references in My Adventures with Superman post is here

My Easter eggs and references for My Adventures with Superman comic issue 2 post is here

My season 2 episode 7 Easter eggs and references in My Adventures with Superman post is here

My season 2 episode 8 Easter eggs and references in My Adventures with Superman post is here

My season 2 episode 9 Easter eggs and references in My Adventures with Superman post is here

My Easter eggs and references for My Adventures with Superman comic issue 3 post is here

[helluvapurf]

Thoughts on latest HB ep "Ghostf**kers" (*now that I've regained a bit more energy post-Halloween weekend lol*):

So the newest ep of HB has came & went from what I've seen- aaaand naturally feels like the best time for me to finally ramble about it now that its settled in my brain some more .3. Thoughts (+Spoilers) below~ NOTE: Most of this -does- get a lil rant-y below sooo... read at your own risk lol .w.;;

First things out of the way to start things off on a good note, the Pros:

To start off with... FINALLY we got some Millie focus for a major episode plot (-or more specifically, focus that doesn't get revolved back to Moxxie somehow lol)😭👏👏. Even if Millie's spotlight here did have to be shared with Blitz for a good chunk of the ep, their friendship was actually genuinely sweet & compelling to watch (esp. their backstory & how Millie was allowed to stand up for herself, give him space, BUT also coming around to acknowledging the good in Blitz, when it all came down to it🥺👏). Which ngl, after these previous episodes reigning down HARD on this dude... idk, just felt refreshingly wholesome to see for this series, yknow?😊

New villain Rolando was pretty cool, and surprisingly spooky to watch as the second-half went on oml- .o.;; While I'm still a teensy bit confused how his powers/demon lore work (at least to what we already know about Hell limitations crossing to the human world, ex. succubi & their crystals), his underwater monster vibe gave some fun visuals to watch up until the climax. I'm not 100% familiar with John Waters' works, but damnnn he should take up voice-acting more often ngl~ 👀

FINALLY MAMA TILLA MAKES AN (on-screen) APPEARANCE 😭😭Her whole vibe & Blitz's clear love and regret over what happened to her... hhhhh my whole heart ;n; 💔

That pink client lady (Rita, I think her name is?) who assigned the hotel mission? I dig her vibe, its cute~ :3

I.M.P. feeling like a legitimate workplace family for once, with even Loona & Moxxie getting a nice lil moment towards the end?? More. Of this. Please. 👌👌

Even with the lil undertones of the Stol*itz drama from the past couple eps, I very much appreciate Blitz (+the show itself) acknowledging that what's been going is NOT a breakup ('cause... yknow, they never actually dated to begin with lol🤷‍♀️). It may not 100% fix how messy that particular narrative's been handled as of late (which I'll get to in a sec-), but eh... its a start in the right direction, I guess? .3.

Enjoyed all the colorful flashback looks given, never would I have thought I needed mercenary!Millie with a fluffy ponytail til nowww hlkjlk😩❤️

Aaaand as for the not-so-good bits (imo), aka the Cons:

Pacing felt kiiiinda all-over-the-place, I'll admit; like one min we've got a whole intro & a half to deal with Blitz's whining fest (+some other pointless banter at the hotel)... then the next it feels like we're breezing past Rolando's whole presence as the "big bad" villain. Which... idk, I guess I shouldn't be too harsh on given the production drama behind-the-scenes (aka: the leaked content that had to be cut & redone awhile back)... buuuut yeah, its just one of those things you can't help but take notice of, critique-wise lol 🤷‍♀️

The humor wasn't... exactly at its strong point here, mainly just a lil overdone in the sex joke department imo though I guess thats kind of "par-for-the-course" in the Hellaverse series nowadays, so lol

Now, idk if this may be an unpopular opinion or not; but was I the only one who felt like Blitz's month-long mope fest over Stolas was rather... OOC, all things considered? .-. Like, okay its one thing for Blitz to still be (understandably) upset over how the last two eps went down (but being the "boss" he is, continues working anyway to keep I.M.P. afloat, like in the latest HB shorts)... but for Blitz of all people to just randomly use ALL his company's funds on useless junk, force his daughter Loona to stay up all night/not go home, drive Moxxie in a panic from all the budgeting issues this past month was just... wut- 🤦‍♀️ ...Mind you, this is meant to be the SAME Blitz who not even a few episodes ago begged Stolas to not take away the Grimoire (aka the key to his + his employee's livelihood), clearly being willing to do anything to not lose all that he holds dear. You seriously expect me to believe he'd be the type to throw that all away (for a WHOLE month)... all to simply whine over some blue-blooded bird not noticing him? ...Yeaaaaah sorry, but I'm gonna have to call bs on that, chief- 🙄

Kiiiinda tying in the last point, but as much as I enjoyed the tense thills gained from the "Rolando enters Blitz' mind to make him see his own flaws/past mistakes" sequence... I do have a few issues with some of these other "flashbacks" added to the mix: 1) Loona's groin kick towards Blitz in "Seeing Stars" (*wasn't Blitz's fault since ALL he did was tell her to be nice to clients... and was right about to apologize to Loona just seconds before the kick 😒*) 2) Blitz pushing Stolas' hand away in "Ozzies" (*which Blitz only did after Stolas hide his face/didn't defend Blitz during the song*) 3) Stolas' hurt expression at the end van scene of "Ozzie's" (*mind you, taking place while Blitz is rightfully standing up for himself/telling off Stolas for being a privileged creep all of S1*) 4) Stolas trying to present the Asmodean Crystal gift in "Full Moon" (*a whoooole mess in of itself I already covered prior-*) 5) Stolas angrily walking away from their pool fight + trash-talking Blitz in the "Motherf**kers" song + drunkenly dumping his problems on him + making out with a whole other dude in front of Blitz (*again, a huge mess I covered prior but TL;DR... most of that WASN'T fully-Blitz's fault in those instances??😑*)

Like... I dunno man, I don't mean to sound like I'm just ragging on Stolas per-episode as of late... but these last few points just keep giving me mixed signals than any genuine idea as to WHY Blitz even has these "feelings" growing for Stolas, atm?🤨For any canon couple in fiction, I WANT to see reasons for why they work best together, what kind of interests/aspects they've got in-common, what special "spark" is there that helps them stand out above all the other dynamics in-canon... but from what I see so far on Blitz's end (& the narrative continuing to guilt on him being "the problem")... it honestly feels more like he's only now fallen for Stolas out of pity... not because of any genuine affection or attraction :/ Which... ngl, sounds like a really sad precedent to send for a main-endgame couple, regardless of series genre imo... 🤷‍♀️

-------

Soooo yeah, all that rant-y rambling aside... not a bad ep in the grand scheme of things! 👍👍Here's hoping the last few remaining eps (+possible shorts) for S2 keeps up the good work! 🙏

[toasty-owoasty]

oh? you made it! well welcome to

TOASTS TRICK OR TREAT SPECTACULAR!!

[plain text: big, orange text in all caps reading "Toast's Trick or Treat Spectacular" /end]

[id: an image of a front porch at night. on the porch is a chair and drawn to look as if he's sitting in the chair is my sona dressed up as hakuri sazanami from the manga kagurabachi and holding a doctor pepper. on the porch's stairs are three different PNGs of bowls of candy /end id]

come, come, don't be shy! in case you're unfamiliar with the concept, inbox trick or treat is as simple as sending and ask to someone reading "trick or treat" and receiving something in return, usually an image. I have a lot of images though, so I thought I'd cut down and sort out the options into 3 different bowls!

[id: the same image as before, but cropped to only show the candy bowls. in each of the three bowls, there is now the cover and name of an image album which will also be described later in this post, but contain (left to right) gifs, art, and manga screenshots /end]

we've got options! and those options have HUNDREDS of individual pieces in them! so when you're going trick or treating, feel free to grab from any bowl. Hell, I don't expect much action here, so feel free to pick multiple pieces from multiple bowls! (I will set a per-person limit of five though.) for instance, ask for two screenshots, two arts, and a gif and I'll roll a random number generator for each pull, then give you the images corresponding to what the RNG spits out! or, if you're feeling particular, you can choose which piece you pull! each bowl has a set number of pieces, so you can fully skip the RNG! just so you know, smaller numbers will be older and bigger numbers will be more recent ;3 pay attention to the item count in the bowl descriptions below, that tells you how high you can go when picking. I plan to run this from now until Halloween, but really it'll keep going til I stop getting trick or treaters! have fun out there nyall!! bowl descriptions are under the cut <3

Gif Bowl:

[plain text: big-ish green text reading "gif bowl" /end]

a collection of gifs I've saved over the years! at their earliest there are some from (shudders) 2017 though admittedly I'm not entirely sure if those ones still work. 285 items.

Art Bowl:

[plain: big-ish purple text reading "art bowl" /end]

this bowl contains... well not all, but MOST of the art I've ever made! from 1st grade art projects, to middle school ship art, to my more modern stuff! this is your chance to make me post it all. 493 items.

Manga Screenshot Bowl:

[plain: big-ish orange text reading "manga Screenshot bowl"]

when I read manga, I tend to read things my friends have read, and I always want to live blog to them. and if I'm reading something where I *don't* have friends that have read it, I still get the urge! this bowl contains the aftermath of those incidents, and includes screenshots from Pokemon adventures, one piece, jujutsu kaisen, golden kamuy, dungeon meshi, and others! 499 items.

[calamitys-child]

Hi, are you comfortable saying who your top surgeon was? You look great! Totally understand if not. Either way thanks for sharing, love seeing guys that look similar to me, and congrats and hope you recover well!

Hi! Thank you sm!

So I'm on the NHS for my surgery and I personally had a fucking Saga of admin issues on my way which I don't yet have it all behind me enough to speak on at length, but what's most relevant here is that on the NHS you can't pick your surgeon, just your location/team. I ended up with Chelsea and Westminster, who are a pretty new pathway for gender affirmation surgery, even if some of the surgeons have been in the field for a While now.

The team is led by Victoria Rose, who I also had for my consultation - she also worked previously and I believe still does work with the NHS Manchester pathway. Her results, as I've seen from other people, are really good; I personally had a really difficult time with her at my consultation, but ymmv, I know other folk have got on great with her so maybe it was just me or she was just having an off day. Either way, I know she's a great surgeon, makes sense for her to be the team lead.

When I got my admission paperwork for surgery, it said I'd be with Giuseppe di Taranto. I hadn't seen much of his work online before the surgery - looking him up I found he works partly in the NHS and partly in the private sphere, the latter of which he has an instagram for showing some of his work.

On the actual day of my surgery, what happened was a sort of boy band in scrubs arrived in my room??? Honestly idk, I got 3 hot men who all said they'd be my surgery team and I genuinely couldn't tell you whether he was any of them I have handsome guy faceblindness (and also regular faceblindness). I'd been fasting for 14hrs, had 3hrs sleep, and was the most anxious I've ever been, not my greatest state for remembering details.

Pics under the cut for a healing update, if anyone is curious: contains scarring and medical equipment but no blood, which should give at least a sense of how it's going 2.5 weeks on!

At discharge, ~5hrs post surgery: I had to wear that post op binder 24/7 for the first week, no drains even though di Taranto apparently usually uses them? Unsure why but grateful not to have needed them

There was padding over the surgery site which we assumed was gauze but my partner discovered upon helping me wash with baby wipes was essentially just a huge strip of kitchen sponge which, hilarious

1 week post op, first dressings change: elated. Incisions almost completely closed, minimal bleeding or oozing, zero sign of infection. Right nipple graft doing perfectly, left nipple graft looking mostly okay but a little more fluid and scabbing. Redressed whole site and kept compression vest on, can now take it off for half an hour daily to wash, avoiding getting dressings wet - this will be the case til 4-6 weeks post op

2 weeks post op: incisions pretty much completely shut and frankly astonishingly neat so far, no signs of infection, just still fragile. Some swelling, particularly on left side, but not enough to cause concern - it's very very common after a mastectomy and usually mild swelling resolves on its own after a couple months, especially with the compression top and with gentle heat applied like a hot water bottle or something for 20 minutes a day. We're keeping an eye on it. Grafts still looking both good, right slightly neater than left. Discolouration near grafts in these pics is because the dressings we're using are soaked in iodine which disinfects but can stain the skin, it'll come off eventually in the shower.

Current plan is the grafts should be kept completely dressed for 6 weeks, redressed weekly, and I'll still wear the compression top for 6 weeks. Incisions are now down to just steri strip dressings until 4 weeks, at which point we can hopefully move to scar care - I have a 4wk follow up remote appointment with the Chelsea Westminster team to discuss then

[aley-nag]

Bumpy road, pretty result

Whoaaaa. This one...

The next fanfiction I bound was Cinder and Smoke by @thelittleblackfox. I lover their work to pieces. They write incredible thought out Stucky!AU's with a lot of fantasy aspects or really good scifi and I wanted badly to do one of their fics, but waited til I was a little happier with my results and could make a pretty cover. We decided together on this one and I started formatting... And then I stopped for a long while because Word is the devil.

Cinder & Smoke is a western!AU and just about the most romantic thing I've ever read. It has yearning and a little angst and a very distinct vibe that feels like Fernweh and wilderness and change. Go read it!

I worked on it between June and December 23 and Christmas was the only reason I finished it this quickly, but I did not want to leave it unfinished for the turn of the year.

Sadly I don't have a lot of pictures, but when I'm finished with my copy I'll post some more.

Now we'll come to the journey it was to finish this!

It started out rather uncomplicated, because I thought I had gotten the hang of formatting and then, when I tried adjusting the font and overall look of the text body Word kept killing the italics. And I googled and tried and experimented and I just couldn't get it to stop. I was so frustrated, oh god. It put me off a little and I had to leave it for a while. When I came back around to it I found a slightly butchered solution, that works though so I won't question it. After that formatting went smoother and I was able to bind it. I used paper from that same supplier that fucked up my paper order for the covers from the notebooks. But only after I had it printed I noticed that it was cut crooked and wouldn't cleanly fold in half. I despaired a little, said fuck it and hoped it wouldn't be to noticeable. I think it's alright.

Binding went really well and I think that's the cleanliest job I did to this date.

Did the endbands by hand to match the color scheme I was aiming for. Because of the title I wanted to invoke fire and used primarily black and red for the coloring.

Then came the cover. First of all, don't use black bookcloth. You will see every. single. mistake. Also dust and glitter... I brushed this thing so often, you wouldn't believe it.

And I tried different vinyl. I couldn't find the right shade of red I wanted, it's a little hard to source it around here so I went an entirely different route and used golden glitter vinyl. What I didn't know until after I plotted the design: The glitter has texture. I couldn't see a single cut-line. I had to keep the picture open to work along the edges and not rip the letters. Still lost all of the i-points 😭

The flower was pretty easy though. Glueing it on was also quite hard because it just wouldn't hold and I got glitter everywhere. Which let to more brushing but I'm afraid mailing it destroyed all that work :D

Anyway. I am sooo happy with how it turned out I instantly forgot about all annoyances and was able to mail it before the end of the year and that was a really satisfying last project, so all is well :)

This was also the first time I had the idea of choosing a little icon for the author's penname because most of the time I don't have enough space for the entire name. I reworked all of the other books to accomodate that.

Binding Details

Body Text: Garamond, 11

Half Title/Chapter Heading: Gold Lines Trial, 20

Full Title: Carnivalee Freakshow, 48

Word Count: 57.197

Pages: 232

Paper: publishing paper A4, 90g, 1,5x volume (from the retailer from hell :/)

[lesbian-disaster-academic]

hi!! I really love your blog🥹🥹if it’s okay with you, can you give me some advices how to wire a good essay? I am really struggling maybe due to adhd or is it just because of me it just seems really hard and I would REALLY appreciate your advice (no pressure ❤️) thank you, have a nice day!!❤️

Hi! Thank you so much! This is such a good question, and I'd be happy to help you out as best I can! First of all, I completely empathize with you! Essays can be really tricky, and it takes some practice to get a hang of it. I know how frustrating it can be (cut-scene to me lying on the floor, curled up in a ball and on the verge of tears because I can't get the words to go), but try to be kind to yourself! Take breaks and ask for help when you need it! And remember to eat and stay hydrated! Very important!

Secondly, I'm situating this within the framework of the dominant education system within the West (as that's what I'm most familiar with). I don't necessarily agree with all of these points (e.g., what is considered "credible" according to dominant settler-colonial educational institutions is grounded in eurocentric, classist, racist, sexist, etc. ideologies, which exclude very valuable and important forms of knowledge and learning). Regardless, this advice should hopefully help you write within that general framework! Good luck, anon!

STEP ONE: GETTING STARTED

If you have trouble focusing (as I do!), there are a couple of tricks you can try! These won't work for everyone, and they might not work all the time, but I like to give them a shot when I feel like I'm at a dead-end. BODY-DOUBLING: Get someone to sit with you while you're doing your work. Alternatively, I've heard that joining a "study with me" livestream can help make your brain get into that "writing" mode.

FAKE IT 'TIL YOU MAKE IT: Pretend you're someone else. I know it sounds silly, but bear with me for a moment. When I can't focus, I pretend I'm a world-class scholar who's working on her great manuscript (even though, in reality, I'm some sleep-deprived dumbass scrawling an essay at three in the morning). This can help to shift your perception and give you motivation to keep going

CHANGE IT UP: ADHD brains thrive on novelty. Try switching up your environment a little bit. Sometimes, it helps me to work on the opposite end of my desk. Occasionally, I'll even grab my laptop and sit UNDER my desk, just to add some variety and try to kick my brain into gear.

STEP TWO: BRAINSTORMING

Okay, so you're ready to go! Great! We want to come up with some ideas for the essay! I usually like to do this by making a mind map. I'm very tired, so here's a rough sketch of what it might look like!

And a quick example (again, I'm very tired, so this is just the skeleton, sorry)!

STEP THREE: RESEARCHING

Depending on how you like to structure your brainstorming, this can either come before or after step two! Either way, when you're doing research, you want to look for a few key things in your sources. I'll list some of them here

How recent is this information? If it's something like a historical or literary essay, of course primary sources are best, so it's okay to use very old documents! However, if we're writing a scientific research paper, we want to use more up-to-date info.

Is the author an expert in what they're discussing? Look at their credentials.

What is the purpose of the information? Is the source trying to teach us something, or is it trying to sell us something?

Try using Google Scholar! The "Advanced Search" settings can be particularly helpful!

STEP FOUR: OUTLINING

Now we have all our information, and we have an idea of what we'd like to say! Try placing it in an outline, such as the one I created below (Sorry, this is a very incomplete outline. Again. Very very tired. On the verge of falling asleep as I'm writing this lol). Please note that this outline is more for generating a basic idea of what you want to say. Post-secondary education (at least where I live) doesn't rely on this format as much, so take my advice with a grain of salt.

STEP FIVE: DRAFTING

Time for your first draft! Try putting everything together into one document! Remember: it doesn't have to be perfect. It just has to get written. I'll add some pointers below!

Remember to use transitional terms/phrases. For instance, "however", "then", "first", "therefore", "in conclusion"! These help your writing flow smoothly!

Spellcheck. I'm a professional author, and even I mess up my spelling from time to time, so I treat spellcheck as a dear friend lol.

Always remember to format your proof as a sandwich. The intro to your proof is like the bread, the quote/proof/statistic is the filling, and the explanation and elaboration is the other piece of bread. This will help to structure your writing!

STEP SIX: EDITING

Yay, you made it! Time to edit! You can get someone to read over your work! You can also use a checklist, such as the one I've included below!

(full checklist)

Okay, that's about it! On a final note, REMEMBER TO CITE YOUR SOURCES! Google Docs has a built-in citation tool, if that helps! Software like Zotero can also be great, but my go-to is always Purdue OWL.

If you have any more questions, please feel free to ask!

[beebobeebo]

Title: HELL Is Coming With Me

Fandom: Justified

Pairing: Raylan x Boyd (if you look at it sideways)

Characters: Raylan Givens & Boyd Crowder

Summary: HELL is empty and all the devil's are in KENTUCKY.

Inspired by this post and @skelingtonsderek

So you come here with your tales of hot burning HELL told to you by a man with a Bible in one hand and a snake in the other. You slip down these old, worn paths. Your feet feel the ruts what ain't known a cart in so damn long. So. Damn. Long. Then you cross the point of no return. Glowing embers in the dark catch the corner of your eye as they flee down all those twisting paths.

You stop.

You think this is HELL. All them letters stand big in your mind. H-E-L-L. You keep going though, because you're a sight too young to know better. The flickers give way to a chill as you get closer and closer to the Earth's dark middle. Then there's the bone-rattling cold when you go too deep. It's just that you're underground. No, it's that HELL is a cold place under Harlan County.

People what come down here stay more often than they'd choose. You see them that came even 'fore me are as ice, but you don't start that way. First, at the beginning of your end, when you don't slip from this place 'tween life and death, you burn red hot. It's the rage of having life pulled from you without the sweet release of HEAVEN or NOTHING. You're a burning coal. That may just be a little too close to home for my fellows down here, but you are that red hot thing at first. 'Til time takes the fight from you. 'Til you learn your place. Then you get to be that rock-hard lump at the pit of a stomach like you was always meant to be.

Now, it ain't fair to you to let you linger here without at least a story to tell if you do find your way back topside. So, I'll tell you one what's been repeated at least once a generation since a wave of rock put me here. See it's a hate story. No, you ain't heard me wrong. It's not a love story. Those are for the dead and gone. Love stories is memories. Hate stories are alive and well in Harlan County.

See there was a boy born a red hot coal. We thought he'd be down here with us in the deep 'fore long. That he'd burn so bright that he'd sear off the bruises his daddy marked up on him. That he'd combust from all that rage held in that lanky frame of his. He hated being what we were in life. He thought ours was a role one died in, not lived. Maybe the little bastard was right, but he didn't have to be so smug as he read his books with coal smudges on the page corners.

There was another that me and my fellows thought would join us, but not 'til the dust had took his lungs or the long paths burst his heart. Men like him rarely leave the depths of Harlan once their number comes due. Wild-eyed boy, he was. He had a way about him. Too clever for his own good, that had made him old inside long before his time. When he joined us, he'd damn near be an ice block within the span of a living generation.

Thing is they fell in together. That red hot coal and that wild-eyed boy worked hip to hip, back-to-back. A man knows you like that? You are that man. He's part of you. You dug coal together.

I was of a thought when they left this place at the end of their day's digging something passed 'tween them. Some connecting of spirit. That happens when you live in the dust of death together. Dust you make with hammer and tool.

Wild-eyed boy could blow it apart like something most ain't seen. Broke the stone with a mixture that shattered it to pieces like a hundred men. He felt the rock in his feet and his soul. He was born of it. It's how he knew that it'd come apart on its own.

And somehow, that wild-eyed boy saved that livin' coal of a young man by wrapping his hand 'round his friends and pullin' him along.

Wait, you say, that sounds like love. That sounds like the true bonds of friendship making a miracle all its own.

Miracles are a terrifying thing to us what are dead. Should be to you still got life in you, but you don't know better.

That saving? It took that wild-eyed boy's heart and the living coal ran free to burn and scorch a path elsewhere.

But they've come back together crashing. We hear it even down here. Oh, when you scurry back out topside, you'll know it. You think HELL is someplace burning hot. Well, I thought it was the cold 'neath Harlan County, but HELL done crawled out with them boys.

Now, as I was told so many times in life, child, go to HELL.

[zeethequeer]

I'm sharing a Spotify playlist that is entirely songs I find to be incredibly shifting coded in one way or another. It's songs that I've either personally connected the lyrics or others noticed on Shiftok. I've got the link, followed by the names of each song and some of the lyrics. This post will update as new songs get added! Feel free to comment your recommendations! (I feel like the ones I personally included for feeling shifting coded to me just really shows how much of a theatre kid I am)

Playlist title: ♾️You Explore the universe too?♾️

Song 1: Would You Fall In Love With Me Again - Jorge Rivera-Herrans

"I will fall in love with you, over and over again. I don't care how, where, or when. No matter how long it's been, you're mine."

Song 2: Get Lost - Awhimai Fraser, Disney

"Get lost, cut loose, and lose your way. There ain't no fun in holding back, babe. You gotta enjoy the thrill of living dangerously. You've got a long, long way to go. Keep playing it safe, you'll never know. The rules are ours to break."

Song 3: Choose Your Fighter - Ava Max

"You can be a lover or a fighter, whatever you desire. Life is like a runway and you're the designer."

Song 4: King of The Clouds - Panic! At The Disco

"Some days I lie wide awake 'til the sun hits my face and I fade, elevate from Earth. Far away to a place where I'm free from the weight."

Song 5: Die With A Smile - Lady Gaga, Bruno Mars

"If the world was ending I'd wanna be next to you. If the party was over and our time on earth was through, I'd wanna hold you just for a while and die with a smile."

Song 6: My Ordinary Life - The Living Tombstone

"Stayin' still, eyes closed. Let the world just pass me by."

Song 7: ALICE - PEGGY

"Staring at the ceiling, she escaped into her mind. Like the Cheshire cat, the ceiling fades to black."

Song 8: No Matter What - Steven Universe

"Through whoever you've been, through whoever you'll be, through whatever you lose, you will always have me."

Song 9: A Million Dreams - Alex Porat version

"'Cause every night I lie in bed, the brightest colors fill my head. A million dreams are keeping me awake. I think of what the world could be, a vision of the one I see. A million dreams is all it's gonna take."

Song 10: Feeling Good - Muse

"It's a new dawn, it's a new day, it's a new life for me. And I'm feeling good."

Song 11: Therefore I Am - Rain Paris

"I think, therefore, I am."

Song 12: The Greatest - Sia

"Don't give up, I won't give up. Don't give up, no no no. I'm free to be the greatest, I'm alive. I'm free to be the greatest here tonight, the greatest."

Song 13: Wait For Me (Reprise) - Hadestown

"The meanest dog you'll ever meet, he ain't the hound dog in the street. He bares some teeth and tears some skin, but brother that's the worst of him. The dog you really got to dread is the one that howls inside your head."

Song 14: Fame - Irene Cara

"I'm gonna live forever. I'm gonna learn how to fly. I feel it coming together, people will see me and cry."

Song 15: Try Everything - Shakira

"I won't give up, no, I won't give in 'til I reach the end then I'll start again. No, I won't leave, I wanna try everything. I wanna try even though I could fail."

Song 16: Wouldn't You Like - Jorge Rivera-Herrans, TROY

"Wouldn't you like a taste of the magic? Wouldn't you like to use more than words?"

"Wouldn't you like to have some of the magic? Wouldn't you like your outcome preferred?"

Song 17: Do I Wanna Know - Hozier

"Crawlin' back to you. Ever thought of callin' when you've had a few? 'Cause I always do."

Song 18: Ancient Dreams In A Modern Land - MARINA

"I am not my body, not my mind or my brain. Not my thoughts or feelings, I am not my DNA. I am the observer, I'm a witness of life. I live in the space between the stars and the sky."

Song 19: Once Upon A December - Christy Altomare

"Dancing bears, painted wings. Things I almost remember, and a song someone sings once upon a December."

Song 20: I Love You Too Much - Gustavo Santaolalla

"I know I belong when I sing this song. There's love above love and it's ours 'cause I love you too much."

Song 21: My Love Mine All Mine - Mitski

"'Cause my love is mine, all mine. My love mine, mine, mine. Nothing in the world belongs to me but my love, mine, all mine, all mine."

Song 22: OVERNIGHT x Le Monde - Oliwier Knefel

"Till' I make it overnight, making the world my own. So hold tight, I hope you enjoy the show."

Song 23: E.T. - Katy Perry

"You're from a whole 'nother world. A different dimension. You open my eyes. And I'm ready to go, lead me into the light."

Song 24: Wait A Minute - WILLOW

"Wait a minute. I think I left my consciousness in the sixth dimension. But I'm here right now."

Song 25: Welcome Home - Radical Face

"Welcome home."

Song 27: Pure Imagination - Superhuman

Song 26: The Other Side - Huge Jackman

"Don't you wanna get away from the same old part you gotta play? Cause I got what you need. So come with me and take the ride. It'll take you to the other side."

"Come with me and you'll be in a world of pure imagination. Take a look and you'll see into your imagination."

[basedkikuenjoyer]

Keep it in Your Heart

If we're doing another leg of this flashback, it's time to dust off a old concept that proved right with the last time we stepped away. We...might not be coming back to how this situation with Saturn gets resolved. We may come in directly on the resolution. There are a lot of ways that can go. But for the moment I just wanted to focus on a few things that are relevant. Starting with the chapter I borrowed a title from here, 603. Viz slightly changes it, but the noteworthy "heart" theme is part of the whole package, one you probably remember with this scene.

Of course it's relevant that Kuma asked for this final mission. This direction for the flashback has a high chance of us seeing an alternate view of the story we all know and love. Really, really would like to see this cover Kuma's POV on Thriller Bark. What I forgot until looking at this chapter again was how much the Straw Hats, particularly Franky, know about the cyborg project. Franky offering a dire warning that is quite pertinent; that Kuma is someone they're indebted to...but if they ever cross paths again he will be an emotionless weapon.

There is no such thing as coincidence, only fate. That was how Van Augur put it. Remember, that was when the story was taking an odd moment between Luffy and Blackbeard and spelling out the thread that had been running since Drum. How a quirk of fate tied the brothers' story together. It's interesting to see it on display here leading into explaining just how Kuma protected the ship. Had a hand in setting the Straw Hats up to learn what they'd need to take on the New World.

I used that quote from Augur in one of our earliest Post-Wano Musings, titled Holding Pattern which covered Chapters 1062 & 1063. Looking back, man it's cool we're still looking at Bonney the same way and Drake has the same potential. I really dug up the coincidence thing because Law having boobies was so on point. 1063 was the first time I really started wondering if there might be a real reason to keep the hopium around because it was so weird then to cut away to Law like that. Egghead has gotten a lot longer than we imagined then but really leaned into those early threads we were looking at.

Those who have been following along would recall a while ago I stopped fully caring about this from the perspective of Kiku actually being #10 or not and more that using her as a guide was clearly paying off enough I'mma keep doing it until we get our answer. So then it's worth noting it may be no coincidence, but fate that made Kuma's decision to split the Straw Hats land them at the right time to stumble into the Akazaya's revenge plot. Though the length of their time apart is out of Kuma's paws even if he knew about it. That was just one thought looking back on 603 here.

You even had Caribou stumble in at the end. Don't forget him. My hunch right now is if the Blackbeard ship is actually Moria & Perona then Caribou fits their aesthetic to a T. That's not a bad vehicle to show some of what happened during the skipped night in the lab. Reading that old review was a great reminder; some of the little oddities we noticed early did and continue to snowball.

As for Kuma? Who knows where the flashback goes from here. I'd love some deep Makino lore but they could just be ships passing in the night. Where Bonney's story runs parallel will also be telling. I'll dust off one classic though. The longer this flashback goes the better the odds we come back to the present in a weird fashion. I don't think this 1100 turn can be ended in just one followup chapter either. Gut says wait til the first one of a new year, those are always big too.

Hell...worth mentioning too. If this is our second segment like this in the arc, what does it mean if/when we break down into a third? Just saying, we already had the idea Egghead was the 4th more accurate part of Wano doing a Rashomon type thing. What if that story itself is a nested Rashomon narrative? I will make and send Oda an award for literary brilliance if he does that and it's really, really starting to feel like we might.

[froggibus]

updates!

for veteran followers, newcomers & people just browsing, a quick reminder on how this works, the kind of content posted here + a bit of an explanation! (of course, if im rambling, feel free to skip to the TLDR at the bottom ♥)

essentially, i have a bit of a bad habit of scattering all of my updates and news across various fanfic posts. ill probably continue to do this, but i know not everyone reads every post, so you're probably missing out on some info you might want to know

"like what?" mainly, requests + request statuses. but instead of making you guys scour through the depths of my posts to find out if i even received your requests, i thought it would be easier to just post it all here.

content you can expect here:

requests ive received and going to work on

WIPs im planning on posting soon

breaks, hiatuses, changes in plans & planned content

random life updates (sometimes)

to make it easier to digest (+ more relevant to you guys), its going to be in order of newest to oldest. (example: oct 2023 would come before jan 2023)

thank you guys, keep being amazing ♥

TLDR: ive decided to put all of my updates on requests, request status, wips + breaks etc in one place. its gonna be in order of newest to oldest, and ill update here whenever there's news :)

FEB 21. 2025:

so today i finally updated my rules for requests. it was a hard decision but i no longer take requests for nsfw/smut

to make a long story short, i just don't enjoy writing it anymore. this might change in the distant future, though

now to yap a little & answer some anticipated questions;

why?

again, it's not something i enjoy writing at the moment, and with the little free time i get from school, i wanna write things that excite me

this blog was never set out to be a smut blog. i just wanted a place to store my work and maybe meet some friends. i never anticipated it growing the way it did.

i love what this blog has turned into, and i don't think i'll ever stop writing for it

does this mean you'll never post smut again? definitely not. i still write it occasionally, and i'll probably post it from time to time. plus, some of my favorite content i've ever posted was smut (Sex Rocks, CTRL + H)

so what does this mean for my requests? given i've updated the rules again, i'm gonna clear my inbox. some of the requests i've been planning on writing (all of my sfw wally requests, stu macher hurt/comfort) are gonna be screenshot and put into a folder

i'm still planning on writing the Ramattra NSFW i promised. that idea is really exciting to me, and i wanna stick to my word on that, but it may take a little while to put out

anyway, thank you for reading & thank you for understanding ^.^

if anyone has any questions about this, i'm completely open to taking them

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OCT 18. 2024:

brief mental health update here

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SEPT 26. 2024:

hi so sorry i know i've been inactive lately!

between breaking up w/ my long term bf, moving to a new city & starting school, things have been super chaotic & i haven't had much motivation to write :,)

requests are (tentatively) open to non-smut until kinktober starts on the 1st, and from there probably won't be doing any til the end of the month!

kinktober masterlist

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JULY 13. 2024:

summer suntacular was SO MUCH FUN!!! thank you to everyone who participated ^^ i really enjoyed doing this follower event & super looking forward to doing more w you guys in the future!

requests are finally open again! i am probably only gonna take about 6 - 10 depending on the complexity/types of reqs i get + only about 2-3 per character (to prevent another Venturepocalypse) ^^ super excited to see what everyone comes up with ♥

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JULY 1. 2024:

happy canada d’eh!

currently doing a bit of a rework on this blog! changing the way I interact w content on Tumblr to make it less spammy & more relevant for you guys!

requests are still closed as ive been really struggling with my writing as of lately :,) but once I sort them & catch up they’ll be open!

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JUNE 1. 2024:

happy pride ^.^

still working through requests right now & also working on something fun for summer! come vote in our summer solstice poll and feel free to come talk to me about all your summer faves & thirsts!

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MAY. 27 2024:

requests are currently closed! thanks to everyone who sent one in—im just catching up on them now ^~^

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MAY. 26 2024:

i’ve received quite a few requests this week that i am already working on :D im sick atm so it might take me a little bit longer to get through them all tho !!

changing up my rules slightly & retagging certain stories as well!

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APR. 3 2024:

thanks to everyone who booped me on April Fools :) I had a lot of fun interacting with everyone

requests are open!!! all of the ones submitted prior to March 24th have been deleted, but feel free to send them again if they follow the updated rules (found here)

I am also working on a small writing project that I may or may not post for my birthday in two weeks, so we’ll see how that goes

- - - -

MAR. 21 2024

requests are closed! rules for requests are being updated and all current requests are being cleared. feel free to resubmit afterwards!

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MAR. 17 2024:

- deleted Romeo & Ghouliet. I really wasn’t feeling like writing anymore, I struggled a lot with taking it in the direction I wanted it to go

- will be updating the graphics & theme of the blog this week so stay tuned!

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JAN. 22 2024:

we are officially heading into Valentine's season, and with that, I want your input on what you would like to see on the blog for that! you can vote here. have more input? have a request? send them to me here!

working on some fics, including OW Women HCs, poly! SatoSugu, Dick Grayson x civilian! reader, and possibly a series as well

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NOV. 14 2023:

currently not taking requests, sorry for the few people who submitted some this week! working on a cozy christmassy Dick Grayson fic rn, and possibly something exciting for the holiday season

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NOV. 1 2023:

life got way more hectic than i anticipated this month and because of that, i wasn't able to write for kinktober the way i originally planned. hopefully next year ill be better prepared and able to deliver quality content consistently. sorry to anyone who is disappointed! ♥

[dessertgeek]

The Mari Lwyd Twitter saga (2021)

This is part of my efforts to transcribe @seananmcguire's annual holiday Mari Lwyd Twitter threads/poetry battles. The hashtag for now is #Mari Lwyd Project, the first post is here, this thread's source is here.

This round is Seanan + @tkingfisher back for another round of cheese and rhymes! And 2021's is the one that inspired me to work on this, as the non-Twitter versions I could find, though there be plenty, were all screenshots.

As always, credit to the authors/poets/cheese protectors. CWs for food and caps. Settle in for a read. (And if there are more 2021 poetry battles can someone please link me or transcribe and send me a link? I'm not finding more yet.)

Seanan: HELLO MY SWEET, IT'S BEEN A YEAR. I KNOW YOU MISSED ME: NOW I'M HERE. YOU HEARD MY BELLS UPON THE BREEZE. I HOPE YOU'RE WELL PREPARED WITH CHEESE.

Ursula: I’ve blockaded the pantry, I’ve bolted the door I’ve piled up the padlocks ‘til they’ll padlock no more, It may be quite churlish, but this cheese I’ll defend From equine depredations ‘til the cold bitter end.

Seanan: THE WIND THROUGH MY BONES HAS BEEN FREEZING AND CRUEL, IT BLOWS DOWN THE CANDLES AND KINDNESS OF YULE, AND I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'D BE QUITE THIS UNKIND. YOU'LL SPARE NOT A CRUMB, NOR A SLIVER OF RIND?

Ursula: If you asked me for money, I’d write you a check, And the clothes off my back, I’d pile on your neck. But my cheese—! I’m sorry, but that is the bar, I’m all for charity, but you’re going too far!

Seanan: IF YOU HAVE MONEY, CHEESE IS SIMPLE: IN YOUR ACCOUNT IT LEAVES NO DIMPLE. IT'S HARD TO SHOP WHEN YOU'RE JUST BONES, YOU'RE MET WITH LOATHING, STICKS AND STONES.

Ursula: In that case, my friend, I will now blow your mind For cheese can be had, from the curd to the rind. With the power of the internet, your torment will end, If you’re a skeleton, online shopping’s your friend!

Seanan: AND YET I FIND THAT SHOPPING'S HARD WHEN YOU DON'T HAVE A CREDIT CARD FOR "WINTER SPIRIT'S" MY PROFESSION, BUT PUTS NO CASH IN MY POSSESSION.

Ursula: That seems like a problem, I freely admit, The solution, I fear, not within my remit. But if your profession’s not a matter of choice, Have you tried sending Winter some kind of invoice?

Seanan: THE SOLUTION FOR NOW IS RIGHT THERE IN YOUR HAND: OFFER ME CHEESE, DOESN'T MATTER WHAT BRAND, AND I'LL SPEAK TO THE SPIRITS OF COLD AND OF FROST AND ASK THEY SPARE ROOTS, LEST YOUR GARDEN BE LOST.

Ursula: So we’re moving to threats now, is that what I hear? Menacing my garden which you know I hold dear? It’s on now, bone horse, forget the Brie— You mess with my plants and you’re messing with ME.

Seanan: I OFFER NO THREATS, BUT THE BLESSINGS OF SPRING: FOR FROST COMES WITHOUT ME, IT'S THAW THAT I BRING. I ASK FOR A TOKEN, ONE YOU CAN REPLACE, AND MOVE WITH THE WINTER TO SOME OTHER PLACE.

Ursula: This type of wording is really quite damnable Like a Mafia Don saying “This places looks...flammable.” Leaving my garden so the frost won’t attack it? Cold bone horse, you’re running a protection racket!

Seanan: YOUR POINT IS VALID, THAT SEEMS PLAIN, AND YET IT SEEMS I MUST REMAIN. I'LL SIT HERE IN MY CHEESELESS CORNER, AND SO THE YEAR WILL GROW NO WARMER.

Ursula: It’s true I long for Spring’s return Yet Necessity must sometimes burn Seems to me this vein’s untapped… What happens if I keep Winter trapped?

Seanan: YOUR PATHS STAY SLICK, YOUR WINDOWS FREEZE, AND ALL BECAUSE YOU WON'T SHARE CHEESE. YOUR FIELDS ARE FALLOW, GRASS UNSPROUTED WHEN YOU WON'T LET ME BE RE-ROUTED.

Ursula: Ah, but think of Winter in Summer’s home— The savings on AC alone! A captive winter’s a useful tool, Just much climate could you cool?

Seanan: NOT QUITE AS MUCH AS YOU'RE NOW THINKING, AND I'D FAR RATHER JUST BE DRINKING, IT'S EASY TO BE FREE OF ME. JUST GIVE A SINGLE BITE OF BRIE.

Ursula: I don’t fear winter’s icy blast When it’s 72 and overcast But consider this with empty eyes How about a compromise?

Seanan: ...WHAT COMPROMISE ARE YOU PROPOSING? IT'S NOT LIKE I'LL BE DECOMPOSING. BUT AS THE SNOWFLAKES GLEAM AND GLISTEN, THIS I SAY TO YOU: I'LL LISTEN.

Ursula: I’ll write the word “cheese” on the back of a napkin And slide the note under this door you’re attackin’. And don’t argue with me that the cheese is synthetic— The best magic always has been sympathetic.

Seanan: WHILE IT STILL SEEMS A TAD BIT MEAN, IT SUITS ENOUGH TO MATCH THE SCENE. THE THING THAT'S WRIT THE THING IN FACT, AND SO I'LL GO...BUT I'LL BE BACK.

Ursula: Goodbye, bone horse, the season moves Its icy wheel beneath your hooves. And as I devour this cheese with chives I feel I should apologize. ‘Twas wrong to plot to see you imprisoned— But there’s no ethical consumption in capitalism.

[thesamestarlight]

ADMINISTRATIVE UPDATE (aka spoiler-tagging update)

we are very very close to a big big day for pjo!!!! you know what that means!!! updates on spoiler tagging!! (plus some non-pjo stuff at the end!)

from here on out:

i will tag all tv show content with 'pjotv'

once i've seen the first two episodes, i will begin tagging all references to anything that has not been in trailers with 'pjotv spoilers'. haven't decided yet how long i'll tag spoilers, but i'll definitely make an announcement before i stop.

once the first episode of the show is released, i'm thinking about tagging all pjo/hoo spoilers beyond however far the show has caught up to as 'pjo book spoilers' for people who are watching the show and haven't read the books (e.g. for posts discussing later books and whatnot). i do already and plan to continue tagging discussion of specific books with the acronym for the title (tlt, som, ttc, botl, tlo, tlh, son, moa, hoh, boo, cotg; plus pjo for the first series and hoo for the second series; toa if i ever post anything trials of apollo, but i've only read book one, so that's mostly moot), but some things are more general, like character arcs. would anyone who follows me be interested in a broader pjo book spoilers tag like this? if so, lmk--drop me a reply here, a dm, an anon ask, whatever :)

in the future, assuming more seasons, i'll probably come up with special tags for pjotv s2 and pjotv s2 spoilers and whatnot, but for now we're going to keep it more general.

in non-show-related news, i finally read cotg yesterday!! haven't gone interacting with content on that yet, but i probably will soon, so i'll be tagging that with 'cotg spoilers' (along with cotg and pjo)

for people who don't want to see any percy jackson stuff at all (though i really do encourage you to give the show a try!!), i tag everything related to the show, the books, the spin-off series, the musical ('tlt musical'), you name it, with 'riordanverse'

NON-PERCY JACKSON:

i finally finished miraculous ladybug season 5! i haven't seen the paris special or the movie yet though. when things i post/reblog come from specific episodes, i'll try to tag 'ml [name of episode]', but my memory is pretty shaky and it's easy to get things mixed up, so i'll make sure to generally tag 'ml s5 spoilers' and maybe also 'ml spoilers'.

ummm other things i've read/watched lately:

read the hunger games prequel and saw the movie! enjoyed both! haven't posted about it much but if i do i'll tag it 'tbosas' and probably also 'tbosas spoilers', along with 'thg'

read they both die at the end. don't anticipate a lot of posting on that, but if i do, i'll tag it 'tbdate'

been watching gravity falls! most of the way through season one. probably won't look at anything for fear of spoilers til i'm done done, but i'll tag it 'gf'

in general i try to be thorough in my tagging! i usually tag things with at least the acronym for the fandom/main media source. always feel free to lmk if you'd like me to tag for something specific, especially when it comes to spoilers, and stay safe out there!! <3

[tealeavesandthorns]

OOC Post | How the 'tism affects my rping!

// I wanted to create this post to try and help people understand how autism and to an extent adhd can affect my RPing abilities.

In the past both of these things have negatively affected my ability (though to be fair I wasn't aware that either of those were problems I suffered with).

To be entirely honest, I'm still figuring out a lot about autism, about the way it affects my brain, about how it's both hurt and helped me in the past. I suppose the biggest thing I'm asking for is patience and mostly direct speech.

This post got long and a bit rambly. So the long and short of it is:

I sometimes struggle in group settings, especially where the focus becomes on the personal rather than a specific subject

I sometimes struggle with communication, including setting boundaries.

Due to masking I sometimes struggle with setting boundaries

I sometimes struggle (not autism this one but anxiety), with expectations I perceive people to have built up around me, especially when I am having a hard time.

Under the read more though there is a rambly post about struggling with rping and realisations I've had.... for those who want to read or are interested. If you have any questions too please feel free to message me.

Communication and masking are the biggest two things I have seen affect my roleplaying in the past, hence focusing on these.

Like many autistic people though I have things that run alongside my autism - anxiety, OCD, occasional depression and there's a high probability of ADHD. Whilst these have also contributed to certain breakdowns over the years I feel like the autism has been the biggest cause and now understanding it, I think, will stopped me getting burned out as easily.

COMMUNICATION & MASKING

Roleplaying is a communicative hobby - I know this, you know this. RPing requires communicating and building intricate relationships for characters with worlds and partners.

Where I struggle is when the focus switches from story to personal lives. I'm going to be direct here because it's the only way I know how to say this; I have loved every organic friendship that has come about because of tumblr and the tumblr roleplay community. However because of masking I have often put too high demands on myself or cultivated relationships where I feel I need to be available at all times. I have quickly burnt out. Because I didn't understand why I was so frustrated and upset with those relationships when they have broken down. I have disappeared or ended up alone.

I'm not just blaming my autism here, I hope that comes across. I take full responsibility for those breakdowns but the fact is I didn't understand what was happening to me.

Due to masking all my life I was unable to set proper boundaries and I began to struggle when people were talking to me about personal problems more than we were ever writing or talking about writing.

That probably sounds harsh. Writing is my special interest though and in some ways I guess it could be considered a stim. I love writing, it's all I want to do and plotting and talking about characters and headcanons and meta brought me so much joy.

I really struggled too because I felt like I wasn't being fair to people who were actively, clearly, trying to befriend me. I struggled in group settings when people tried to organize socials and even more so when there were chaotic games of cards against humanity.

Part of it was me not wanting to miss out and I absolutely could not keep up with a shedule of nights being up til 4am and then back awake for my job.

And this is where the potential ADHD comes in because inspite of all those things I LOVE a million threads, I love a million threads with different partners and with one partner. I love a million universes, I love building little universes in our corners of the internet. I love making friends and talking to people and my god if I like your character and you I will go to the ends of the earth for you. I'll help you and love on you and suggest a million threads.

That's intense right?

But see the problem is I then can't keep up that level on intensity and I burn out.

I also struggle with a strong sense of justice. I never thought I would say those words but it is now becoming abundantly clear to me that my strong sense of justice, that moral compass inside me has bitten me on the ass a few times for things that were relatively minor and that normal people can brush off.

Like I said I'm still figuring out a lot about my autism and how it impacts me in all areas of my life. Rp and writing is one of those areas I need to tease apart. It's not been as easy, as say, understanding how it effects my senses.